The Snark Tank - #399.5: Brow Shapiro

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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Click the banner to learn more. Retail sales only, some exclusions apply. See Store for Details. Delivery available on qualifying orders. Frenzy! Samson. Samson. He would always go through, whenever you would pick players for Fries and Frenzy, it would go through all four characters, but you could skip it.

You could skip the interest. It would always be like, instead of Samson, Zach, Gina, it would be Samson and then it would skip to the loading screen. And I always loved skipping other people's introductions. Oh, because you're an asshole. It's just such a funny. It's such a backhanded, I don't know, because they didn't think like, oh. I would do that. Let's make it that way.

It's just like a consequence of how they made it. I would do that Dragon Ball games online. My intro happened that I would skip there for the online battle. Yeah. I would do that all the time. It's just so, it's so mean-spirited in like a really casual way. I love it. It's just really petty.

It's like, Spider-Man comes in a Marvel thing. It's like, oh, what's going on? Someone's like, it's about to be Captain Nick. Shut the fuck up. Let's start fighting right now. And it's like, dude, what's your problem? It is mega funny. I miss being an asshole like that.

Good times. Well, on that note, welcome to the Star Tank podcast, everybody. It's me, Chris. It's him, Sweeney. It's him, Derek. We're here yet again. This is episode three, 99.

Whatever. We're not doing 400 yet. We want to do 400 when we're all in person, which will be, I promise, we'll be sued. I'm not going to be here for longer than another week. Derek, Derek, Derek is actually they, they,

them, Derek, but okay. What? Yeah. I don't know where that came from, but yeah. Yeah, they them, Derek. I'm really proud of you accepting your truth, Derek. For real. I'm really, I'm really speechless.

what what what what what triggered this i don't know i'm just trying to be i'm just trying to make you i'm trying to make you have less identity i'm just trying to make however you feel like you are just wrong you just walk i mean you know i feel a little transphobic right now no there was no there was no i don't like you so i want you to question yourself uh you don't like me so you're using um uh you get you get there weapon no i'm i'm using kind of like i's like you would use uh a slur as a pejorid wow I can't even yeah you'll get you'll get there you see you're

trying to deemify it you're trying to they themify it you're trying to they them afire you're messing up yeah that's what's happening that really that really blindsided by that it was we're a roadside bomb dude you should be blind too fucking I am uh pageron.com slash a snark tank uh go over there

uh support us uh get your questions run on the show get your names read at the end of the show Early access, ad free exclusive episodes, you know the drill You know what it is I don't have to explain the shit to you You're not six years old

You know And if you are And if you are you really shouldn't be watching I can't even imagine being six years old And being interested in this Even even as a kid Who remembered wanting to Wanting to like

Or wanting to indulge in like adult media You know when you're like seven Or like eight and you just kind I want to watch the fucking South Park or whatever. You know, like I remember that. I can't imagine this having the same thing. No. You're not like wacky cartoons.

We're talking about the war in Iran. You know what I mean? It's not all that exciting for children. Yeah, South Park was funny because it was drawn. We're not funny like that. We're just insane. We're not drawn. We're not artistically rendered. You're right.

But listen, if you're six years old, go away. And that's, that's really all. parents, though. Yeah, tell your parents about us. That should be the thing. I wish everybody followed Chris's rules. If six years old, go away. I wish everybody followed that rule.

But, you know, unfortunately, because of the meta. What's the meta? Because of the meta. What's the matter? Explain. Explain. Explain that. I feel like I shouldn't say much more or else I'll get in trouble.

Well, yeah. That's not a great explanation. It's not. It's not. Not at all. So listen, we have a lot to talk about. And also somehow nothing. It feels like, like, I mean, there is, look, there is.

is war happening, obviously. Gas prices are shooting up. It's like $17 a fucking gallon. It seems like. I thought you were going to lower the gas bills. No, no, no. Derek. I mean, I forgot which way.

I forgot which one of you was there. That's Derek. I'm Kingston. But you'll go get there. You'll get there. It's the glasses. It's a, uh, uh, uh, black now with glasses. Can't tell who's who.

Like, guys, I can't tell. I thought I thought I was doing your podcast with Urkel this whole time. Uh, clean dismount. Clean dismount. Clean dismount. Clean dismount, Chris. Continue. you.

Clean dismount. It's bad. It's bad out there, man. It's bad. It actually made me like, it's crazy because I was thinking when I was, I was thinking about driving my car back home and now I'm like, no. I'm not doing. That's going to cost the amount it would take to ship basically.

The car with these gas prices. It's ridiculous. I'm not doing it. I'm paying $7. $7. It's really not good. Like, really not good. Why don't you just rob people on the way back?

it's a good point do a robbing spree on your way back you'll break even the issue though is that I'll be driving from New York to California not from like California to another part of California

you know what I mean so I'm going to be going I'm going to be driving through the states that have no money to give me you know I'm going to be I'm going to be I'm going to be driving through the subsidized states oh yeah the ones we keep alive and they try to act like we don't yeah we can figure it out. We can figure it out.

The ones my tax dollars keep alive, curious. Start driving south. Say, it's a little southwest, just a little bit. Make it a Georgia. There's a lot of rich people around Atlanta, so they'll be good. All right, cool. Pass through, what, Alabama? I think you're fucked there, so you might have to invest a little bit.

Alabama's got. When you get Arkansas, I know Boogie lives there, so you can rob him. He's not going to do anything. That's not going to do anything, right? He's just going to shoot another shot into the air or whatever and be fat. So you can just rob him. He's going to shoot a shot in the air and be fat. Yeah.

Robbing boogie feels so terrible because what are you taking? What are you taking even? I mean, he's left. Whatever's left. He's got enough. He's empty guys. There's got to be like the YouTube play button, which got to be worth a couple bucks. Didn't he get rid of that?

Didn't Keemstar sell that? Didn't or didn't the Keemstar own his play button now? I actually do you're right. He did like sell that to Keemstar, did he? He did. I feel for that guy so much, man. Like I just like, dude, just, you know, I'm gonna be quiet.

I'm gonna say something crazy and I want to say, just, he's just not, he's not rolling well for a while, dude. He's not rolling well. That's, that's interesting choice of words. Yeah. Are you saying that because he's fat and obese? Yeah, he's a D&D when you just don't. I'm saying it's a D&D, you know,

you just keep getting wild. once over and over again. Oh, that's a double Othandra. It could be a double Othandra. That was pretty good. Pretty good clean. Double on Tanger. Don't even ask me how.

That's pretty good. Pretty good. Not bad. Oh, it's triple. Never mind. I think Arkansas is going to be a pass. I don't know if there's really much there.

I'm going to, you know what? I could maybe, if I go, if I do a straight shot through like maybe Aspen, you know what I mean? Like go like through Colorado. Okay.

Maybe. Okay. You know, can hit up the cabins up there. Get a lot of jewelry. Yeah, get a lot of jewelry. fancy liquor that can be sold to poor people.

People don't have time shares anymore, right? That's not the meta. I don't even know what a time share is. It's just a scam. It's literally a scam. You're paying year round to use something for a very small sliver. It's like a group renting situation and everybody, it's really dumb.

People had done before and I was like, I don't know why people do this. Is that like a thing that makes sense if there's like a lot of, is that, you know what I mean? Is that you think that makes sense of a lot of you are doing it? I guess you are all working. If you know all the people that are going to be using a timeshare technically, like I guess it's not a bad idea. It's just a rare situation that anybody would really.

The problem is that people go vacation at the same time a year, you know? Yeah, summer. Yeah. Who's going to be using? If you have a time share in fucking in like the Aspins, right, people are going to go there and during Christmas time. The Aspins. That's what they are. It's what it's called, right?

It's just called Aspen. I don't think it's the Aspen. I don't think it's the Aspins. I mean, maybe some people. I'm not weird. Like, I don't know. I don't go to the mountains and skis. So maybe they do,

maybe people do say that. Maybe Kingston, the crowd that he, uh, hangs out with. Yeah. You know, the skiing crowd.

Yeah, the skiing crowd. Yeah, the white skiing crowd. Yeah. He's always playing D&D with. Yeah. Fucking dropping a thousand dollars on a fucking a few booster packs and then, uh,

you guys, go ahead. continue this in Aspen in the Aspins? Go ahead and turn me down for liking things that are not of the norm. You guys are allowed to hate me because you guys don't accept yourselves. That's fine. You know, it's fine. That's what that is.

Yeah, it's literally what it is. You say them. Look, we're doing a bit of preamble to not start off so hot. But like I really, I'm, I'm eager now at this point. Like, we got to talk about Ben Shapiro's eyebrows. I don't know. I don't. I thought it was fake.

I thought. So listen, this takes a little bit of setup. Ben Shapiro, conservative Jewish feller. Spring is here and the shopping list is long. Time to make a Lowe's run. Buy three bags get three free of stay green one cubic foot garden soil. Plus, right now members can earn four times the points on an eligible purchase. Start spring off strong with these deals and more.

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One-time only offer. Not that there's, you know, nothing wrong with that. Conservative Jewish feller. He does conservative media a lot. Everybody knows who Ben Shapiro is, I think. There's been videos. Daily Wire. He's been doing, so he's been popping up on my feed lately doing, and there's videos of him really kind of close up to the camera.

He's talking. and his eyebrows are fucking crazy. Like they're like Mr. Bogdan from Breaking Bad. Like the guy, like it looks ridiculous. He looks like a Muppet. And I'm like, has he always looked like this? Like,

is this just something that I'm only noticing now because like maybe cameras are better and like he's closer to the camera. Like is, is there something happening? That long ago. Like it's like, like he came up in the 90s.

Right. But like what I'm saying is like I only ever see Benchipur from a camera far away, you know what I do? Sure, sure. So, like, I'm not used to seeing him that close. And so maybe I thought, I thought maybe. Because what's the other explanation? His eyebrows just did that? It's crazy. It's all crazy.

Like, so if I went back and looked at some of his older videos, they're certainly not like that. No. He did something. He did something. Brow transplants. That's crazy. He essentially was like, you know, I really want, like, two vaginas on my

fucking eyebrows. I really want I really want caterpillars on my face. You know the bushes in the 70s you know on the point

I want a 70s vagina above my eye at all times that's what I want in fact in fact he goes to the fucking barbershop

and asks for that I was like we can't add hair on your eyebrows what are you asking this to do right now do you see on the hair on the floor

I beg to different my eyebrows of course you can do it you can do anything did I mention I support is real Is that the secret code? Did I mention?

He calls Netanyahu. Netanyahu, we're having a problem right now. They're not fixing my eyebrows. They're not fixing my eyebrows. What are they going to do about this? Benjamin Netanyahu goes like, oh my God, I can't believe they're doing that. No, he goes, oh, my goodness. He all sounds like he puts on a voice for the camera, whatever he's on.

He puts a fake voice on. But then when he's off camera, he sounds exactly like Ben Shriver. Hold on, Ben, I got to go. I got to do a press conference. Hello, everyone. Israelis are eating base. Palestinians are eating babies and drinking their blood. He's like Gilbert Godfrey.

He is like, yeah. That's crazy. Dude, I want to know what's going through Ben's brain. He must see what everybody's saying. I want to know because this isn't the first time, actually. This is the second time because people pointed this out a couple of years ago. Like, hey, what the hell's going on with his eyebrows? But they weren't like this.

The way that they are now, he's done something again. again. And I would love to know what the fuck is going through his head to expand his eyebrows. I've never seen that before. I've seen some women do like a they want to go for a more natural look, right? Because in the 90s it was like pencil thin. Yeah. And shit. And then like I've been seeing some women doing a more natural look where kind of making the eyebrows look a little bigger, but nothing like this. I need to know. He needs to talk about it. It looks ridiculous. He looks like like a Jim Henson character. looks like a fucking Muppet. It looks

insane. It doesn't look real. His eyebrows look like Matt Walsh's beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't look right. It looks fake. There's something about it. And it's so, I just don't understand how that happens to a person. So I, so either A, that happened, that just happened to him somehow.

So that's, that's a fucking anomaly. B, he got an eyebrow transplant? Why? Or like, or like, he's taking maybe he's oh he's losing his hair or something and he's taking like Phanaseride and monoxide and it's really strong for him for some reason And it only works on his eyebrows

Well I don't know maybe he's got like a ball spot under his yama got that we can't see Oh So but like I I genuinely I have no answers if there's and the reason why I'm bringing this up at all really is because I know that we have Inexplicably really smart listeners with real jobs who are like scientists and shit, can you explain what's happening with Ben Shapiro's eyebrows?

Yeah, in your expertise, what is he doing? What is he doing? I just, the closest thing that I can think of, of what, go look at what Amanda Bines looks like right now. Oh my God. Go see Amanda Binds right now, and the eyebrows are very similar to that. And I'm just like, I don't know if they've been hanging around. I think they've been hanging out together

or Ben Shapiro's been watching Amanda Binds I like her new look She looks good Fresh out of rehab She looks really good I think I want eyebrows like her You see how they look all kind of waxy and like Big and black and shit

She's crazy unrecognizable She she looks She's rough She's had a rough upbringing I had such a crush on her dude Now? from what I like about you, that error of her do when I was like maybe, I was like maybe 10. Dude, I thought she was, I thought she was milk, fine, fine milk.

I was like, wow, that's good. That's crazy. You have a crush on her today? That's crazy. No, no. She's, she's, she. This is, like, she's, this is so sad, man. It's like not the same person.

It's like, it's genuinely wild. Yeah, she, she, she's had some issues. She even, um, she was in rehab for quite some time. she tried to get married to some guy that was she met at one of the rehabs and it was it was it was a lot it was a lot they they found her one time like naked in the streets you know uh all all tweaked out and shit and she seems like she's doing better but you know when you do when you do shit like she has like you look at her eyebrows and her makeup and everything like that i'm like bro this is ben japiro like i don't know what the hell's going on i don't know what's going on and why you choose to Ben, even his beard, when he started growing out his beard, right? Because I think he started feeling so emasculated because everybody would make fun of his voice and everything. Even the way he would groom his beard didn't make sense. It was like, it was like he was watching the Simpsons.

He was like, I like, I like Homer Simpson's beard. Homer Simpson has a nice goate where it's just like a, it's like you just took frosting and caked it on his face. And there was no shape to it whatsoever. Where I'm like, you don't even, I don't understand this person at all. Like, to be fair, he, it's very clear of me. He's always been fucking weird. So I guess you can't really expect him to be like normal, have a normal, like, mustache and a little chin strap or something. You know, the Puerto Rican thing that you got, you know what I mean?

Like, you can't, you can't have a little bit of style. Now, now here's the thing about this, right? Like, I'll admit, I didn't look too deeply into it. This is confirmed not to be AI, right? There's too many videos. There's, if you just type in Ben Shapiro on Twitter, for example, you don't even need to put in eyebrows and just start scrolling down and seeing pictures from his own studio, his, his own phone. And the ones with his own phone, I'm like, yo, because it's large. There's carpets on his face.

It doesn't make sense. Dude, I saw it. And I was like, this isn't real, right? I saw one video where I was like This can't be real, bro This can't be real I'm having expecting them to sprout wings Dude

Like it's fucking insane It's crazy looking I don't understand Anyway And my The only thing I can think of If we were trying to speculate He's trying to look more masculine

I think some of his heroes I imagine have very bushy eyebrows Oh Really Like so in a way that he's just like Oh I'm trying to be more he's trying his best to be more masculine. He doesn't know what to do, though.

He's doing a great job. He's doing a great job. He's doing a great job. I mean, at least he still has to like a full head of hair, you know, like a lot of the Manosphere guys don't have that shit. It's wild to me that people start balding at that age. I don't know what I just found. I just sent in to this dark time show.

I don't know what. I don't know what I just found, man. What the fuck? What is this? There you go. That's my hero. I don't know what to say. That's my hero.

I just Googled big eyebrowed celebrities. The first thing is crazy. The first thing is this top five actors of iconic eyebrows. And it's this crazy looking dude who's like there's no way that's a real person. Dude, that's fucking, that's a kuma. That's not real. That's not a. Of course not.

That's crazy. Some people. really do look like fucking Jim Henson Muppets though. Yeah. So when it comes to this. Absolutely crazy. This is But yeah.

It's the entire thread. Not thread, but if you just go, if you just, I'm typing in Ben Shapiro and I'm trying to see anything else. And he's got to address it. I think I think we're, I'm going to have to hound him. I'm going to have to tweet at him every single day. I've never tweeted him once.

alive because why would I? Yeah, what's going on with Ben Shapiro's eyebrows? That's in a curious case of brow Shapiro. Yeah, the ones for his phone are crazy in particular because it's like, dude, they've like doubled and it's like his eyebrows doubled. Your eyebrows shouldn't be thicker than your fucking mustache, dude. Like that's crazy. God, man. Anyway, I don't know. I just wanted to bring that up because I just found it really flexing. Ew. He's working with Jonathan Majors? You saw about, you haven't seen that?

No, I haven't been plugged in. Have we not talked about that that Johnson Majors and they're doing that? No, I haven't been plugged in. Yeah, he's doing it, he's doing a fucking sinner. They're doing the daily wire sinners. Wait. Oh, man. What a fall. What is it going to be called? Wait, really?

Really? I don't know. is exactly exactly i was like well so here's the thing right yeah uh this is i mean this is pretty much how it goes right if you lose your job in hollywood you just kind of have to be like well yeah i guess i'll just do conservative i just be a conservative because they'll accept anybody i'll grift yeah yeah 100 percent so it's not surprising i just didn't know it's really unfortunate john midd is a great actor unfortunately yeah but you know when he put his hands on a white woman You got to you DV the wrong person, you know? Yeah, man.

Like say like, I just, I learned that Shaila Buff has some DV stuff too, but has some. But he's all right. You know what I mean? Like he's all right. No, he's not. He just beat up a gay person a few days ago. No, what I mean by he's all right is that he has not been. Yeah, he beat a gay person a few days ago.

Damn. I haven't heard anything about that. What I'm saying is the person did like, did assault him. They did harass him. But he moved a Gerson. No, at that point, whatever. Whatever. Like, the Giperson did put his hands on him and his reaction was attack him.

Well, if he put your hands on it. That's still not okay. You're still not okay. You've led with the wrong information there, I think. You got to remember even the threat, even the threat of violence is assault. So like, I can, you know, so like there's a lot of time. It's like he also like, they beat the shat of me a golf a long time ago. So like, yeah.

No. My point is my point is, my point is that he had, he wasn't black. from Hollywood. He kind of like bounced himself and then he started coming back and doing his own shit. He got blacklisted for a while. No, not like Jonathan Majes, dude. Like he was legitimately blacklisted. Well, you know, you know, well.

That's what messed my whole entire fucking point, dude. But I'm saying like Shailabuff, he was blacklisted, but the problem is that he was blacklisted. He did. He's been doing movies. Dude, he didn't until he made cardboard of cardboard Falcon or Pena Butter Falcon, he was blacklisted. He did fucking fury, dude.

Dude, that was before all shit got like got popping out like that was that that time i think he's i think he he he does he's never worked that often he wasn't really working that often after transformers anyway he was kind of hanging around hippies and shit i don't know if he's like i was really i was i was fascinated with this dude so i was kind of following his career he was getting a little selective and choosy with his roles he didn't my point being that when you found out about all that shit it wasn't like say oh excommunicado like this guy's fucked that didn't happen he just kind of was low key about it.

And then unlike Jonathan Majors, this thing became like the biggest fucking thing ever. Same thing with, you know, your boy, your boy, your baby boy, Chris Brown and all that shit. Where like, I think there's certain people, you know, can get away with it.

When, like say Ben Shapiro, Ben Shapiro beat the shit out of, um, let's say, um, who's, uh,

his clone. What's that chick's name? Cooper, Cooper something. Uh, Cooper. Cooper, oh man, I'm sorry. Brett Cooper? That's it. That's it.

Beasts a shit like, I'm not tiny. I'm still in my thunder. You know, like, you just like that. Skinser. Where's the face? And you can't really tell what's what. Like, yeah, yeah, you have better eyebrows than me. And then they just like skins are and shit. What if this is Brett Cooper in the videos? I think you're onto something, actually. I think it might be. It makes sense because Ben fired Brett Cooper, right? Right. So she took revenge. She stepped into his skin.

Yeah. And now, and now she's like, I'm going to. the reputation of the daily wire like it needed any other help. You know, I'll do it. I'll make, I'll make Benchapiro's eyebrows look really stupid. That's what, that's what her plan was. This will destroy.

This will bring the daily wire to its knees. These, and like all these people are like investors and, that germy guy. I just can't, yeah. I can't do it anymore, man. Your eyebrows are too big.

To be fair, to Jonathan Majors, the reason that was as big of a thing is it was because he's a Marvel is because it's a Marvel thing. And he was the, he was blowing up to, he was going to be the Marvel face, like one of the faces of Marvel.

And he's also was portrayed as someone who was a very like progressive man. Yeah, that's all them. They're all performing a bullshit. But yes, yeah, didn't, didn't help him. And he's a black person. Didn't help him. Whenever a black person does anything in Hollywood,

they're going to come out. Big black man. I don't, but, but then Chris Brown's kind of still selling. Well, Chris Brown is music. It took a minute, though. Music is different. Music is entirely different.

He was spanked a little bit, right? He was arrested. He was arrested. He got put in jail for like about a year. And he came out with niggas a piece of shit. He came out with a great album. And then people were like, oh, you know.

Yeah, you fucking better. You better. Whatever. I have to do some shit like that. You better come with the heat, man. Came out with a great album. Like, I like that album a lot. He's still a huge piece of fucking shit.

And it's different. He loves it. loves them. It's different when it comes from an actor. He has a he has an autograph from actor he has an autograph from Chris Brown from last week that's crazy he has autographed like musicians teeth musicians are famously shitty like like that's crazy that is insane that's insane can you sign reality of me and I'm sure I'm Chris Brown yeah I got her fucking I got her fucking Trent is she Trini I think so Barbados he's but she's Asian I think she's on Barbados She's Barbados, yes.

Okay. And it's like, damn, dude. Your teeth are really cool, dude. And A sap Rocky, he's just like, hey, he's trying to buy him back for me for years and I keep won't sell them in. No way. He's like, please don't have made me on the teeth back to me. I'm like, no ASAP Rocky. Fuck you, Rakim.

No way. Asap, Rocky. Fuck you, Rakim. Fuck you. Every time I think of Rock him, I think of Uncle Magic because it reminds me of. And Rock him the clown. Rock him the clown. Rock him is a common ass fucking name for those fucking, well,

obviously for five percenters because duh. I knew like, I knew like three rock hym's in my life. And I was like, really shit. Yeah, dude, I'm from the Bronx. Yeah.

It makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah. It's like real like, like, Cali black people and New York black people are so entirely different. It's funny. Because Cali black people are like very like,

they're like for the culture until it's time to murder each other. That's what Cali black people are. And then. New York black people are like, you've got to get up the higher knowledge. Let's go rob people though. And it's like, what is your, what are you doing? Dude. Telling me about like freaking like knowledge of self and how important it is to like understand where you sit in this world.

Then proceeds to go rob a woman coming home from work. And it's like, dude. I like that dynamic. You're nuts. I like that dynamic. Oh, man. I miss it, dude. I want to spend like, like, four.

months in New York City again. And then it would be like, oh, yeah, I remember why I moved from this place. And then I come like, where you have, you have fucking no clothes on. You have no shoes. I was like, oh, shit, they robbed my building while I was sleeping. And they left the framework where my bed would be. So I can just wake up and I'm outside. Thank you.

Dude, it's been so weird here going from like, it's snowing every day and now it's like 70 degrees. Yeah, man. And the span of like a week and a half. But climate change isn't a problem, dude. Yeah. I mean, even though it's not as extreme over here, it has been fucking stupid. It was 30 degrees and then it turned to 84 degrees the next day. Yeah.

Even yesterday, it was a little bit warm. It was a little bit warm during the day. And so I went to bed like in, you know, barely wearing anything. And I woke up and it's like 66 degrees. And I'm like, bro, what the like? It's it was in the, it was in the 80s late in my house. Like I didn't put on the AC or anything because I'm like, fuck, I don't want to. And then it just 20 degree drop in like a few hours.

It's kind of crazy. And like, all right, man. Can you chill? What's the desert here? That makes more sense, but it's still fucking. No, God needs to chill, dude. I'm going to have a word with him. I'm no fucking word with God.

If God was real, if God was real. God's real, bro. Stop. Guy was real. Stop. Those people in that particular place in the world. Well, this is why it's happening. It's real.

It's the chosen niggas. I mean, it's real. I mean, you know, me, every, all the time in the podcast, I've been talking about how real God is and how much I read that. If you read the book, uh, it's not, they are not chosen anymore. I can tell you that much. Hey, man. You read that book. I believe I'm, I'm, I fear the nigger and I just want him to better weather. That's all. I want better weather. And like Chris says, I want, um, I want to own, own my programs and shit.

You know, if I can, if I can, if I can, if I can, if I can, if I'd be actually pretty good too and be like, all right, man. And it's 100 degrees, but it's okay. I can use CLA without a prescription. That'd be sick. I just want my gun to not jam next time. I'm about to try to kill myself. That's it. I don't want the gun to jan next time.

It keeps jamming right before I kill myself. I shoot two shots off and it's fine. There's a movie in there somewhere. There's something like you desperately try to kill yourself and you can't. every you can you can kill as many people as you want but you you can't so it must mean you're here for a reason that's crazy you actively instigated shoot out with the policing you're fine unscathed you get them all there's no more you don't you don't shoot back you shoot this antagonize them and you'd walk outside one guy goes with a shotgun wait you're trying to do and then it doesn't

work it jams it blows back tears him apart you trying to do suicide by cop, but like it takes care of all of them. They somehow, it's like final destination reverse. That'd be sick. That'd be sick. Instead of final destination, it's first, it's first arrival. Nice. Great.

First arrival. Amazing stuff. Destination, option destination. Journey, first journey. Oh my God. You're trash, Brock. First journey. Boo.

God, damn it. First journey The first journey The script goes out And everybody's like This is dog shit That was terrible And then Jonathan Mader's like

I gotta take this I gotta take this Send him to the eyebrow worms Feed him to the eyebrow worms That I've been nurturing in my garden For the past seven years They finally matured to adulthood Now I can nurture them on my face

I wonder if I can buy fake eyebrows on Amazon Absolutely Yeah Let me see They're probably laced in some kind of like some poison you know

like some kind of like paint that like we're not allowed to use anymore yeah I'm sure yeah it has lead and asbestos lead asbestos strontium 90

all sorts of crazy stuff but yeah I don't know man there's a lot of weird stuff happening in politics we'll keep you appraised what the fuck was that? Yeah what was that

what did you just experience can you find Can you elaborate? All right, so it's a Kyle Kulinski tweet that he just linked in the... What is this? Uh-oh. The way he's laughing, it sounds like he's sent some... It's really stupid.

It's really stupid. That is a very Kyle Kulinski. Yeah. It's so stupid. He's such a millennial. Yeah, I would... It's a Ben Shapiro Chia pet. I legitimately, if this was like $20, I'd buy it.

Yeah, I know you know more than that. Yeah, like, yeah. Yeah. With tax. With tax. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's got, like 79.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's a good. That's a good one. Ooh, here we go. So I can get a two sets of fake eyebrow mustache for six. Oh, this one's a five 90. Overnight shipping. Yes, please.

Yeah. We should all do. We should all do the next episode. We should do episode 400 with a, with a thousand eyebrows. You guys seen the game Burning Desert or something like that? Crimson Desert. Crimson Desert.

Oh, yeah, it's the Black Desert online people. Yeah, they're not in a single player game. It looks fucking awesome. I don't know. This game has like no hype behind it until like maybe a week ago and now everyone is talking about it now. No, people, people are talking. Well, it's more hype now because it's about to be here. So like more people are like next week, right?

I think so, something like that. And the next is certainly with certainly this month. And people are like, this is probably going to be game of the year. Like this is this game like what it's boiling up to be is probably going to be something special. Maybe. Yeah. I could see like it looks really good. There are certain parts of it that look really cool to me.

Like it looks like like you can fly dragons and fly mex and shit. Yeah. Apparently it, apparently like it looks unbelievable. Yeah. Like so I'm, I'm open to it. The thing that I know about it though, the thing I know about it though is that like even just looking at it. I'm like this is a hundred, this is like a hundred hour video game and I'm just, I know I'm not going to finish it. But, uh, it looks cool.

Like this. I saw a dude, I saw that you could like pull tree, like you could attach a rope to the top of a tree, pull it, pull it back and like slingshot yourself with trees and shit. And I'm like, that's kind of cool. Like that's like really like surprisingly interactive. Yeah. For how big that world is. So like, I don't know. I'm down to try it.

Yeah. I got to get to Resident Evil first though. Like I'm, but oh, well, before we transition into video game talk, I just want to read this. We're trying. We're going from war from politics into video games. I want to get this, this right in because I didn't think we'd get a right in like this. ever. McCar wrote in. He says, hey, gents.

Not a question, but I thought you'd be interested since this is a unique job and situation. I am in the U.S. Air Force deployed to one of the places in the Middle East that's getting bombed all the time. I'm alive and safe for now, but I've been volunteered. I've been voluntold here. Voluntold. Voluntold is pretty good. That's crazy.

Voluntold here since October. And now I'm stuck here for however long this bullshit last. I was supposed to leave at the end of this month. Just know that a lot of us didn't want this and really hate the Orange Man so much. And you guys have been a great source of comfort for me and a couple of my friends here as a lot of us are freaking out about all of this.

Much appreciated. I'm sorry you're in that situation. Really fucking. It's really annoying, man. It's just really crazy. But yeah, I just wanted to read that because I thought it was like, oh shit. That's kind of nuts.

Just remember, you're allowed to disobey illegal orders. Remember that. That is true. You are allowed to disobey. However, you know, what's, what's legal and illegal nowadays? Yeah. Yeah, it's all fucking, it's all mixed up. I just say, I would just, if I were you, I would shit myself all the time until they were just like, we can't be around this guy.

Yeah. Can you get dishonorably discharge for shitting yourself all the time? No, probably. If it proves to be like a problem, like literally, you know, you just can't do it no more, then they would honorably discharge it. Literally every time I had this shit, I would just shit flush in my pants.

I think they would dishonorably discharge you if you, if there was intent, like you, you told them, hey, I'm gonna shit myself. And then you did it. And they'd be like,

this guy's a fucking asshole. It will disrespectful. Get them out of here. Yeah. But like, if you just kept shitting, saying, I can't help it.

Then they'd be like, all right, soldier, you did, you did it. You did it. You're, go home,

please. Go home. We can't be around this anymore. We're getting so tired. We had to wire up a hose in the barracks just for you. And it's like, it's getting crazy. They might fucking Pat Tillman you, though. You remember that fucking guy?

What was Pat Tillman again? He was, uh, he played, uh, in the NFL and he was like, oh, I'm a patriot. You know, 9-11 happened. And then he got killed by friendly fire. And the whole conspiracy is, he was writing letters about like, we're here for nothing. This is all bullshit. like he was going to like blow the whole thing out and then he just you know just happened to be killed by his own people that's a family guy bit right isn't i feel like there's a family guy bit about this is it i mean it probably

we're like it's like peter's lured like he's going through like the army training and he's like okay so when i see pat tillman do i shoot immediately okay yeah yeah then there you go he's like no do not shoot pat tillman it's like so i shoot pat tillman yeah yeah yeah i hate how funny family guy is in small doses. It has moments for sure where it's like genuinely hilarious. Yeah. I've been meaning to start for the beginning and then see how far I can get before I jump off. Yeah.

I think you'd get farther than you think you would, but it still wouldn't be anywhere near like modern. You know what I mean? Maybe like season eight or something, nine. There's that episode of, uh, there's that murder mystery episode where they, uh, where the killer in the house, yeah. Where the killers in the house, that's a pretty good one. because there's no cutaways, I think, in the entire episode. And I was like, oh, shit.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, and Craigmeier's fat girlfriend gets murdered. Yeah. There's 23 seasons? Isn't that crazy? Milakunis is just fucking riding that. Hell, yeah, that's good money. It's good money.

I feel like it was more than that. I feel like it was more than 23 seasons. They got renewed through season 29. Oh, wait, no, sorry. season 27 which will run through uh 2029 so yeah they're they're fucking i didn't know i just don't it's just interesting because i never see anything advertised about new episodes or anything like that i saw that recently and it's why it's on my mind again because they had like i think like the premiere of some season was like low lowest and stewie get high and they under and they can understand each other so

they have like this whole episode or they talk to each other where did you see that Where did you see the Twitter? Twitter, okay. Yeah. Okay. But I'm an idiot. So like I, like, if I see Family Guy clips on, on Twitter, I like, I sit and I watch the whole thing. Right.

Because I'm like, oh, it's a clip. It's probably going to be good. And it is usually. Yeah, fair. So, like, I get it in my algorithm a lot. But anyway, we should, yeah, let's go over to video game stuff. Is there some stuff happening? You guys, you guys both finish Resident Evil, right?

I am, I probably still have like two hours left of it or something. No. But you're pretty... I'm pretty... Yeah. It's basically what's left for me is just probably action bullshit, like whatever.

Maybe another twist or something I'm missing, but mostly I got... Yeah. I still haven't... God, I want to jump into it. I'm fucking, yeah, it's... I might cave and just get it on PC, but also like, I don't know, man.

I heard the Pillay Station version's crazy. It, um... It's... Also, I don't trust this PC, exactly. Oh, I see. I see. I don't... I got an on.

I got it on PC also. I got on PC. I actually, the funny thing, I had so far only one crash. I had one crash. Yeah, it was just one fucking,

Grace's hair started going nuts in a cutscene. I wish I was recording. Do you remember? There was a point in time. I can't remember exactly when or like what games or what engine. But like there was a point like maybe like mid or maybe late 2010s. We're like, I guess they were like starting to figure out.

hair physics. And so, like, they really over did it. Oh, it was one of the Horizon games. I remember there was, like, a bug. I think the first Horizon game had, had, like, a bug really early on where her hair was just... There was one, yeah. Like, ridiculously animated.

Like, to the point where it was just like, this looks so stupid. A universal one was, uh, I don't remember which WWE2K. It might have just been 2K20. Um, I think it was 2K20 because I remember after that they took a break because it was so fucked. And it was a unanimous bug where the hair was just going fucking wild to the point where one of my favorite videos is a donkey.

Dunkey. You're going to say boogie. I almost did say boogie. But no, don'ty's playing it. It's so funny. It's some of the funniest shit I've seen from like poor video games, shit like that. Better than I would say some of the ones that I saw with. with um cyberpunk the cyberpunk had some good ones cyberpunk did have some good ones yeah a lot of great ones

the thing the thing about cyberpunk is that like that that launched p s for if anybody has an unpatched ps4 copy of cyberpunk that'd be amazing that is a great get that would be amazing that's like a piece of history yeah put that in a ps4 that's disconnected from the internet and just run it i'd pay good money for that dude because i bet it's crazy I pay good money for that. I really, no, I wouldn't. That's not true. What I'd be willing to offer, they would be like, no.

I'd pay like maybe $15. $15. I wouldn't pay more than that. I would pay, I would pay, I would pay $200. Yeah, $200. I only say $2002 also because that that's kind of like my, I'm starting to reconsider. There is a Tony Soprano at Frankenson, a figure that's $200.

And I was like, fuck that. And then like, I've been thinking about it more and more. Like, fuck that. That's stupid. That's a bit more interesting. What's the figure of it? It's just one of those realistic, really good fucking figurines, dude. Like, it's not a statue.

It's like a toy. Oh, so it's like the Jamiriqui one. Yeah, but like taller. I would say it's probably about like a foot tall. Something like that. Dude, it was 200. I was like, fuck. If it was 100 bucks, I would have bought it immediately.

But now, like, the guys, like, we just got it in. And then also him saying that, I don't know if he's lying to me. And he's like, telling. me that it just got in and somebody might swoop it real quick. But I was like this up. I have to see what this looks like. I can't even imagine a Tony Soprano. It's fucking awesome,

I really want it. I've been watching a bunch of clips of the show again because it's been popping up my thing. And how many people Tony beats this shit out of is crazy. Because he isn't, he doesn't seem like a particularly good fighter. But like he just whoops the shit. Except for the guy he fought,

the guy that he insults at his house. I forgot who the name was the fat guy. He's like, your wife's a bit of a whore, you know. Oh, yeah, they're a fight. He lost. That was a good one. He,

he, that guy beat the shit out of him, do it was bad. And he was like, what are you doing? And Tony was like, eh, it was a joke.

You see that fucking YouTuber who, uh, edited in crate, uh, it was like, you know, Cratos versus Thor. Like,

it was supposed to be that scene, but they just took Tony from that scene when he's fighting, um, I forget his name, um, whatever, the one that starts, uh,

dating his sister and shit. I can't remember his name right now. But they, at that scene where they fought, he took that and then entered where Credos and Thor fighting and it looks like fucking Tony's wailing on Thor, it's so good. It's like, it's too good, really.

I was like, how long did you spend on this? That show is a comedy, man. Like, I going back in the more I watched it, I'm like, this show is a comment. This is entirely a comedy. Yeah, I feel like anyone who like watched it would never say that. Sorry. Sorry. No, I guess

personally, I don't really, I didn't know because since it came out so long ago, a lot of my generation, we didn't have HBO. I don't really know anyone that watched it until like way after the fact. And so I didn't really talk to anybody about it, but I can't imagine anybody not knowing because it's there's, it's not like there isn't like,

they don't even have like all that serious like ominous music to make it really like, you know, like to like, oh, here's the theme. Like it's a, it's very dry. I saw much the horse part of you. Even the theme song. Yeah. it.

With this morning, got your gun. It's like it feels, I, I have to say, I was not expecting the soprano's theme song

to be that. You know what? You never heard it? You know what I thought it was? Never. Someone told me, someone told me, and I never heard

the sopranos theme song and I just took their word for it because I understand what they mean by this, though. They're like, oh, that's fucking, um, uh, gauze.

It's, uh, fucking got yourself a gun. Like, look up this. morning got just something gun yeah yeah yeah like so like just I thought like

legitimately it was going to be that song and I was like oh it's oh I get it now. I got myself some gabagoo. I got some gabagoo that show makes me laugh man like I can watch that show and be like man this is fucking hilarious. Yeah. When he killed

the guy over the horse and he said he was I found him like that and it's a kid Christian was like nigger you killed this guy what are you lying for like what is this lost i found him like this that that that snow episode is so good it's definitely one of like the better episode i feel like that had to have won something what episode was it again the one where they get the pine barons one where they get lost in the woods or whatever yeah they're like i was in a guy was an interior decorated it just it annoyed me so much as knowing like all right you're going to have this dude like dig is great i was like i already you saw it coming i was like this

niggas gonna escape you're so stupid just like like you're so lazy you're gonna have did you finish the show yet chris you finished it yet no i i haven't really i don't have i don't have my law i don't have my logins over here i like it's not on my phone yeah i don't explain anything for you yeah don't go on you they'll go on you further don't go on you fuck i probably won't remember anything anyway that the fact that they're like he gets away and they're like all right this like are you insane? What else can you do though at that point?

No, no, you scored. You don't, that's not what gangsters do, bro. That is not. As someone that was, listen, there's a few things in the show. I wasn't involved with stuff like that in any real tangible way, but that is like absolutely not what gangsters do. I feel like they don't let stuff slide like that. No way.

The whole point is that they're not really gangsters, right? Like they're kind of cosplay. true. They are. They're cosplaying what they, what they heard was gags. And the people on the other side of the river are actually like really about it. That's what makes it funny. It's just, I think it was more of, crazy. It's more telling about like just the modern day. I feel like that's kind of

the whole point of it's not what it used to be. The, the modern, like everyone's slipping, everyone's old and the newer generations aren't as interested. You know, it's not like fucking AJ and Meadow or like, ooh, I want to get involved. this shit, they're like, this is dumb. Like, fucking AJ, stupid bitch. Anyway.

I hate that, I hate that nigga dog. I mean, yeah, sure. I hate AJ. Such a little twat. I mean, he's, every suburban white kid was like that. Come on.

He's a fat little boy. Leave him along. He's just, he's such a clear, like. He was the original Rizzler. He was. He was the original. He was.

Ooh, dude. I'm going to get another Arizona Rizler version. How was that? It was. actually good. I was surprised. Do you think he had anything to do with it? Do you think

that he was in the lab? There's no fucking way because why not? Because it tastes good. Because children would be like, oh, and put in popcorn and then put in fucking tachies. That's not all kids anymore. That was a brief Well, it would be him. It would

be him. It's not all. It's not all kids, but it would be here. So you're like, yeah, put it in popcorn, put in a fucking chocolate devil's food cake from Entemans. Put in put in munchkins, munchkins, glazed munchkins, put in ring pop, ring pop. Fucking scientist.

He's just, oh, somebody would just molest this kid already. Somebody just killed his child. Somebody stringed his child up on a street lamp. Somebody put this child up on a street lamp right now, please. Somebody call fucking Jared Fogel, man. This is fucking annoying. Can you stop? Please.

Listen, I'm going to move on from this. We're releasing Jared Fogle from Pogel from, prison. He's done his time. He's an American Patriot. We're resurrecting Jeffrey Epstein. We're bringing him back. I miss Jeffrey so much. And I'm so much. I miss those fucking

parties. Hang out with those parties so much. Jared the rapist because I miss him so much. Oh my God. I can't I can't believe they got rid of my best friend like that. I'm so upset. Oh my God. I'm so bad. You niggas made me kill him.

I said that. He said. You niggas made me do it. You made me do it. I didn't want to. I miss him so much. Oh my God. I'm crying right now. I'm so sad. I'm chewing through solid metal bars. I'm so sad.

They're like, please she got fired by the way. Oh yeah? She finally matters. She fucking fucked up by fucking, you know, getting greedy with some campaign funds making a stupid fucking fucking canvane video about

telling illegal immigrants to turn themselves in shit that was like she was like riding on a horse or some shit and then and then people were like what the fuck is this and she was like oh Trump do about it it's all good and then he was like you don't do that you don't you don't put shit on me like what the fuck? Didn't she also

didn't she also like donate like millions of taxpayer money into a company that didn't exist two weeks ago or something like that? Oh yeah that was that was that well I think that was the company that made the ad if I remember correctly very awesome. Yeah. So, I mean, it's, it's unbelievable, bro. It's like, it's like, it's it's brazen. It's so brazen that like at this point, with as much, and I'm, and I mean this literally verbatim as I say it, with all due respect, uh, you're just fucking stupid. If you don't

understand that this is like brazen, bro. Like, you're a fucking idiot. And I don't, I don't know. Like, at this point, like, there are people that I know or like, uh, vaguely know who are like uh in this space and i'm like i i just you are i i treat i think of you the same way that i think of like i don't know like a like a like a like a disabled chimp at a zoo you know where i'm just kind of like i'm just sad for you really at a certain point i'm just like i'm not i don't care about your opinion really because like who cares about a zoo animal's opinion yeah about anything i know what you mean um i just like it's hard for me it's hard for me to consider you an equal really.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I saw a... I can't do it. I can't do it. I saw a comment this morning about, there's this guy named Kobe Cumberton. He's in the UFC. And he's a complete, like, Maga grifter. Like, he's completely fake. Like, it's not... Everybody knows about it who has two brain cells to rub together. But, like, he ducked out of another fight,

because he does this all the time for another chud guy, but he's at least... He's a real chud. He actually believes what he's saying. So I hate that guy, too. point being the real chuds more genuine and i saw a guy in the comment section of the post i saw he's like well i'm with colby i'm with and i'm just like i felt i actually literally felt bad for the guy yeah it's pretty i was like you're you're siding with the fake wrestling or gimmicky thing and then there's a real chud guy that it made i was just like shocked i'm like what can you do you can't do anything that you can't reason with that person i don't know man i think i think we need to i think

I don't know. I think if you voted for this, you need to not be allowed to vote for like a few rotations. Well, it'd be nice. I think like, I think you'd like, there needs to be, there needs to be something done to like, I don't know. There needs to this, something needs to happen to like, be like, hey, you guys unfortunately

cannot play ball for a little bit. It's just intellectually disqualifying. Yeah. Because like, how do you get bamboozled? I don't know. It really feels like wily, like getting tricked by a, it feels like, getting tricked by a wily coyote painting as like a real person you know what i mean like oh he painted he painted the rest of the road on the mountain i understand there must be more roads yeah i understand liberal media liberal media did not do a good job demonizing trump the right direction

because the shit that he got demonized for a lot of them could have got demonized for and i understand that it's like it's not an excuse but for me to for people to be like oh this guy who is a billionaire that sucks up to tech bros that actively denied an election woke up this moment is gonna send your kids to wall

is like oh yeah dude and you're going to war not even going to war for us which makes it even crazy you see Lizzie Graham you see Lizzie Graham uh he said Lizzie Graham was on uh who by the way Kings he thought was a woman this whole time that's awesome that's fucking

I did. You've just never seen Lindsay Graham before. I guess I've only seen Lindsay Graham near women. And I was like, I guess this is the bitch. That's incredible. But okay. Lindsay Graham was like, I think I saw something where he was like, if you're against this war, I'm not with you. I'm with Israel to my dying day or something.

I'm like, why do we have these people? That's so crazy. Then go to go be a politician in Israel. Then what are you doing here? Like it's so crazy. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. but like whatever.

Why are we helping you? They're God's chosen people, right? Let him protect him. I don't under fucking stand. If it's, if it's God's chosen people, he won't let anything bad happen to him. He doesn't eat our money.

They'll be fine. Right. They'll be fine. And if they won't be fine, that they're not chosen, are they? It's like, I don't, I don't, ah. The problem is that I'm tired. People, that's not Israel.

Like, Israel is a fucking. No, but you don't understand. I understand that, it's so problematic. They're actively going out and making Jewish people enemies on purpose. They're literally, Israel is literally throwing Jewish people in front of the fire just so they can resurrect a God that's not real. And if you read the book, it's not going to be on your side.

It's all real. It's all good. Yeah. Same, dude. I do. Look, man, it's, I know we're just, I know we're beating a drum, but like, Jesus Christ. Sometimes you got a man. Jewish people getting assault to the New York man.

the number rising innocent people innocent people just living their lives that have no affiliation with this fucking stupid ass insane thing China people getting beaten during the It's the same shit It just keeps it happened It is it is but what makes it worse What makes it worse right? There's still assault

But what makes it worse is that these are people That a nation is just doing this to Like that nation of Israel is actively Hurting their people And it's insane Yeah, it's different. Not worse. It's different.

It's different. I don't, you know, the differences are negligible to me. Like, just the point of just, the thing that upsets me the most is just, well, the thing that the thing that accepts me the most is just that if people weren't so incredibly stupid, this wouldn't be happening at all. Because even if you were like, you can say whatever you want, like say a grifter, just telling you shit and you're like, that's stupid. Get away from me.

But a fucking retard is like, I like what you're saying. Here's my wallet, sir. or, hey, yes, my problems are stemming from this person that's mining their business, just trying to live their lives. It's got to be Jews. So I'm going to Hulk smash this person and not the people with the ivory towers and gold toilets. You know what I'm like, to me, I'm like, I can't do anything with that. Endangering these people ruining their lives just because they're so stupid, but I really hope.

I really hope and pray. I really hope and pray. Let's hear this. Benjamin Nand Yahoo gets what coming. him bro. I really, he deserves nothing but the worst man, like actually monstrous person. All the

the structured Israel government just needs. Can't believe you said that about me, Kingston. I'm not going to say it out loud. It's very rid of you. He said that about me. It's very rid of you. How dare you? I'm going to send a Star War bomb to you. And I'm going to blow you out. I'm going to disintegrate your ads. We have a couple more moabs.

I'm going to send up Moab. I'm going to send a Moab. I'm going to send a moab to kingston down just for him moabs are fucking crazy no disintegration we're gonna we're gonna loser dude welcome to Israel

we just shot a bunker buster at kingston jamison and uh it'll be there in t minus 10 minutes 10 minutes the freaking debate the debate over over if it's okay if it's okay to sexually assault Palestinians has happened in Israel

that's real that is a real that is a real conversation that was held there. And people didn't get up and take that guy's head off his neck. Wasn't there a protest? Yeah, yo, yo, yo, yeah. Wasn't there a protest when an idea of soldier like was doing

ungodly things to Palestinians to the POWs or whatever? And then he was getting reprimanded and there was a protest to let him three. In front of the place. Yes, in front of the place. Insane, dude. That's like that's like a protest for Jared

Fogel is something. It's like it's to say that's so crazy. Like that's a parody, that's a parody world where like evil is hysterical. Like evil is like the barometer for evil is insane over and over that. And what's crazy. The same kind of things happened against them. The same

things happen. Wow. Imagine. It's like what the fuck? Imagine all the people insanity, dude. Shooting me with the catcher in the rye in their hands. You may say that guy shot me

he did be right he did he'd be right he did it hurt real bad all right let's let's move on to some other I don't know man good stuff what else do we want to talk about do we want to there's this Xbox stuff I don't know what the fuck to make of this man oh I um hard turn for a visual over to Xbox

but uh if you look into it's probably not that hard of return if you look into it's probably really not the hard of return I don't know what to make of this I don't know what to make of this they're doing a new conference Do you believe the And say Do you think There's two things

So we were saying Like everybody else was Everybody was writing articles That it appears that Xbox Phil Spencer got shot and killed And they replaced them They did Joe Pesci in that one movie I can't remember which mob movie

It's freaking what you call it It's a It's a go inside Bad bros I don't know Good fella. Is he good fellas? That he gets shot?

I don't know if it's good fellows A casino. I feel like it's good. I don't know. It's good fellas. It's probably good fellas. He's probably going to go in a room. He's like, you're going to get a promotion.

He turns out and he's like, oh, man, they blow is that off? He's like, ah, fucking A. But yeah, uh, they did it to him. They, they goodfellate them. And everybody was like, oh, yeah, come on. The writing's on the wall. This new CEO. Xbox's going to be sunset.

They're probably going to focus on AI, just article after article. And because of that response, because of that response, it seems like there's no way if people didn't say anything I feel like there's no way they would have so early on been like, oh, look at this fucking Helix thing. What's up? Here's the new fucking project and shit because

it's a little early. I don't know. I don't know how you feel, Chris. They just keep doing this is how I feel. Like they keep going like, hey guys, we got a new project. It's like, it's always project something. Scorpio, Scarlet or something. Scarlet, Project Natal with the Kinect back of the day.

It's always a project. and it's always like, this is the next generation, man. It's crazy. And then it comes and it's like, it's fine, but they lose because they, because the Xbox One got fucked up, you know? So like, I just don't know what the point is. Like, I'm prime audience for an Xbox that plays like old. Like, I have a really old, like, far-reaching library on 360.

Like, I still have a lot of downloadable 360 games that I would love to be able to play consistently. No, not going to be. prime audience for a machine, even in an environment where Xbox isn't really viable as like a casual console competitor. And even I'm like, I don't know what the fuck man. Like this thing's going to be $900, probably minimum. At this point, the way like the economy is going and the way that like it's going to be a boutique PC. Your RAM is like, RAM is already ridiculous.

GPUs are ridiculous. I don't know how you're going to make a console like that. That's a PC hybrid for less than like $800, $900. And if you're going to do that and you don't have exclusives. you don't have a reason to be there. Like, I just don't know. I don't get it. Like, I guess, like, maybe, like, if you want, like, a living room PC,

and if they, if they do have an answer that's like, because they're, I know Valve's doing the steam machine thing. Yeah. They're doing that thing, which is interesting to me. But, like, the only hope that they have is that they have a machine that's stronger than that machine. And even that's, like, you're competing in a niche market anyway. You're not touching PlayStation.

Nope. You know, like they, even PS5 that we feel like is like, uh, kind of disappointing or whatever, PS5 is selling about as much, if not better than PS4 did.

So like, clearly generally that machine's doing well. Right. And Xbox is, Xbox is somehow doing worse than the, than the Xbox one generation. How the fuck do you do that? I thought that was apocalyptic.

I think the guy was just dead. that console is just dead and that's how it is. Yeah, they're going to be a third party publisher and I think they're going to be happy with that. But also, like, I just don't know why they keep recommitting. Right. To building a machine. Like, you could just get out of this. Don't you want to get out of this?

It feels like you want to get out of this. And I'm like, yeah, go ahead. Get out of it. Just make games for everybody and just make sure they're good. And I think everybody will be happy about it. But like, this weird thing of like, yeah, we're basically multi-platform. There's no reason to own our machine. also a new machine's coming is just so confusing and weird when all the signs seem to point to

you want to get out of this yeah i don't i don't understand especially because i imagine you know marketing researchers statisticians that work for them have collected data to suggest that no one is excited for the next console whatever the fuck they would make because of the amount of options like even like the steambox things that are like oh well i bet a lot of that stuff that would be on the xbox would be available on the steambox anyway and blah blah blah so on and so forth like all the articles that were being written seemed to suggest that the writing was on the wall and people were more or less kind of okay with it because it seemed obvious it seemed like the logical conclusion of xbox like yeah it's over okay i was just

it almost just felt like a thing to just kind of shut people up. You'd be like, no, you're wrong. That's what it feels like to me. And I'm like, okay. I'm still really not even convinced that's even happening. Like it could be like I'm 50, 50 on it. Like I very well could be wrong. But like honestly, like, I just don't know why.

I don't know why you would do it. It's just going to cost you a lot of money to build these machines and sell them. And then it's somehow convince people to buy it. And then you're going to be maybe just in order to get rid of some of them. you're going to be selling them at a loss, and then you're not even going to make that money back with, like, software, because you're, no one's,

let's say, let's say they make an Xbox where you could use Steam on it. Who the fuck's going to be paying for Xbox Live? Or who's going to be using the Microsoft store on a machine where you can use Steam? Like, I don't know. Yeah. I just don't,

I just don't get it. Probably just you. No, even I don't, even I don't buy shit from the Microsoft store. Yeah. The fuck? And I was also seeing people if they make,

if they make a hybrid, people are saying, oh, great, that I can just get the PC version of GamePass, you know, like, because it's significantly cheaper than getting the fucking ultimate version on the console. And you have like, you get the day one games with the PC version. Yeah, I hadn't even thought of that, yeah. I just don't, I don't know, man. I don't know where their brains are at right now. I don't know what they're trying to do. There's, there's probably, there's probably this real big meta idea they think they're going for.

And I can tell you this is not going to succeed. It's. They're not to do something stupid that would. be they know they're going to lose money but they're at least going to gain their fan base back. I can't imagine anything else would fucking make any sense. I don't think they have a fan base anymore, man. Yeah, I don't know. Just pure nostalgia at this point.

I don't know. They do, but they've been out of the game for so long that even younger generations who like, like they've had the younger generation, they're in a place where PlayStation has been the dominant platform for a while. Yeah. For like 15 years, it feels like. Or about. like maybe like 12

but I just yeah I don't know I don't know what you could really do I don't I don't see it I don't see it working man I don't even really want a new PlayStation you know what I mean I mean I don't even have a PS5

so I definitely don't want there to be a new PlayStation yeah right yeah so like I'm not even I'm not even clamoring for a new PlayStation so the idea that people are going to be clamming for a new Xbox is kind of like that's hard for me to imagine yeah

but see how it goes see how it goes see how it goes, I guess. See how it goes, man. Come to our new console. Halos on PS5. Okay. Yeah, that's crazy.

I still, that's fucking. They haven't used the rare in like how many years? Is this fucking, I don't know what the fuck's wrong with that, man. You know what really signified to me that they really just didn't know what they were doing when Gears of War Ultimate Edition or that new one reloaded came out instead of the trilogy. I was like, oh, you. Yeah. You don't know how to do any of this, too. especially since two is, I'm sorry, two is the best one.

Two is the best one. Let's go. We've had one for so goddamn long. One's been playable on PC forever, like the entire time. They had an ultimate edition that was barely, it was good. It was good already. I don't understand. Yeah, it's, I don't know, man.

It really is wild. Make it make sense. Yeah. Anyway, it makes sense. That's really it. Let's see what we got. We're gonna, yeah, that's really it. We're gonna move on to some of our patrons.

We got questions from our patrons over at patreon.com. Ister snark tank. Remember, you too can ask questions over there if you so please, if you so desire. Jelking, but for Gher, throwed in. There you. Why, we got a widespreader. that's just needing you're needing it in every direction he needs it for it then he needs the freaking other x-axis

the wide x-axis every time so his shit is fucking it looks like a stingray it looks like a knee it looks like it looks like someone's leg anyway he says if you had the power to make a licensed game out of any property you want what would you make

for example i think a god of war hack and slash for primal uh would be fun Pima'amil, what's that? Oh, that's Gendi Tardikovsky, right? The Powerproof Girl's guy? Would be fun. He's the Powerful of Girls guy, too? Gendi Tardikovsky?

I'm pretty sure. I know he's, I know he's Samurai Jack. Gendi. That's crazy. He's both. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, Dexter's Lab.

Yeah, all of that shit. So he did Dexter's Lab, Powerful Girls, and Samaraj Jack. Tom Kenney's like in all that shit, essentially. Niga could not. miss. Brother could not miss. Oh, he did Symbionic Titan also. I didn't know that. I don't know that one.

That's a bigger one for like, that was 2010 to 2011. It was after I was. Yeah, that was more obscure. Damn, that is kind of crazy. He did Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack and Power Up Girls. Brother could not. No, no, no, no. He didn't do Power Pop Girls. He didn't, um, because Craig McCracken was Power Pop Girls.

Yeah, the kid. Yeah. Oh, right. I forgot about that. He was very young, dude. It was wild how young he was. I don't know why I know these names. James, by the way. It's kind of, it's very odd. He was like 24 making that show. It was hilarious.

I know. Yeah, he did PowerPuff Girl. That guy did Powerpuff Girls in Fosters Home. So, but yeah. What the fuck were we talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah. Or a Game of Thrones style Dynasty Warriors game would be fun with all large-scale battles and notable warriors and houses.

That could be really, really, really cool. You know what I earnestly want? And this is very, this is very dumb, but I really do think it would be fun. fun. I would love like a nostalgic sitcom based character fighter like Mugin or like

Marvel versus Capcom but for like 90s, 80s, Eric television shows. I don't know why, but I see it in my head so vividly and so clearly of just like Kramer beating the shit out of Urkel. For a number, that's funny for a number of reasons. Well, but. Oh, really?

Can you name, can you name two? The fact that they're both that type of character on their show and also the laugh factory. Thanks. But, no, yeah, I don't know. I just, I feel like, I feel like it would be genuinely a lot of fun to try and like, like, pick out iconic sitcom characters or like TV characters and put them in a fighting game and try to figure out what their movesets would be. Because I bet a lot of them would make, I bet you could make a lot of them make sense. it would be like a network style thing you know like Capcom versus S and K

it would be like it would be like something like that it would be yeah yeah 100% or it would yeah like Fox versus NBC fighter or something shit you'd have like Peter Griffin versus fucking Tim Allen

from home improvement oh there we go and he'd bring out like a chainsaw and shit I can see it's and it has to be pixel art by the way it can't be I don't want this like Marvel versus Capcom

three or or a teckin or anything like that like no it can't be 3d can i don't want it to be 3d models it needs to be pixel art i yes i agree for it to work i agree and i think i really see it so clearly in my head i see i see i see these special attacks do if the i see i see i see irkel pulling his like suspenders up and like you know what i mean like i can see it all in my head i see him having like this like carl like shooting the gun and shit blasting carl is carl is like cable you know He does that. Viperbeam.

Viperbeam. I think about that a lot for ideas. Like, I would love, I really want there to be a Marvel's DC, like, just beat them up. Where you're like, we have characters from different sides. You have like, it's kind of crazy that that hasn't happened. Well, you know why it hasn't happened, obviously. Yeah, they know. They don't like money.

Why? Well, they don't want, they don't want there to be a definitive thing where one character beats other characters. That's the three. It's so stupid. It's so dumb. Either one of them want a definitive thing. It's the fucking, though. It's not even like the fucking, because that shit.

I bet the creators would love that. I think the artist. I think the artist. What was it? DC versus Mortal Kombat because that literally happened. You were like the fucking W.B. people were like, oh, we can't have these characters being killed by the mortal combat people.

So then they took out fatalities. They like made it. They made it rated T for teen. A fucking moral combat game was T. And everybody was like, the people that are making it were like, why not? fucking off screen murdered, like the Joker off screen shoots you in the face. And I'm like, that is so gay.

I couldn't believe that they did that. It is really lame. It's, but like, that's such a fun. I would love that. I would play the shit out of a Marvel versus DC. That would be a legend. I'm not even exaggerating when I say, like, maybe there's, maybe there's a lot of cynicism in the industry right now.

And like, maybe people wouldn't be excited for that. If I saw Marvel versus DC in the style of Marvel versus Capcom, I would flip the fuck out. I would actually be excited. If people saw. If people saw Spider-Man assist in Batman, people would lose their shit. I don't even care about comic books like that. It would be something crazy. Spider-Man is like fighting somebody and he calls an assist and Batman throws a wire and kick somebody across the map.

He would be like, oh, this is unbelievable. Fet versus Strange. We get to do like the like the ones we all wanted to see. Yeah. Thor is Superman. Thor and Superman having a freaking all-out. Like, people wouldn't want to see that. Who would be like, no.

If I was 13 and that came out, I would have been like, oh, I'm going to become a politician that's good. I would have that one, like, okay, I'm going to go into politics and be a good person. Yeah. I'm going to try to save the world. Who would Hulk fight? Like, who would be, who would? Doomsday. Doomsday.

There's no way. It's Doomstay of Superman. One of the two. Lex Luther. I don't know. It'd be Tony versus Lex. It'd be Tony versus Lex. I'd be Tony versus Lex.

Yes, he could because it's super... That's not bad, actually. It'd be Tony against Lex. It'd be Spider-Man against Batman or Spider-Man against Nightwing. It would be probably cap in Batman. Probably be a better fight. Hold on. And then it'd be, it would probably be Green Lantern versus Silver Surfer, like the classic.

Re-Landt versus Green Goblin. It's crazy. I love it. It'd be Green Goblin versus Joker. Carnage versus... He will kill him. No, of course. No, of course.

But, I mean... Yeah, it would be such a... Superman doesn't kill him so green goblin can't do it, you know? It is hilarious to think of just like... Green goblin is such a silly name for somebody who is so... Like, I don't think people understand how evil. The green goblin is. I think a lot of people really don't get how fucked up that nigga is.

It's crazy. Like, green... Because it seems so silly. Like, the green goblin is like something that you... Like, it sounds so... Like, it's like a smiling friend's character. Like, it's not real. It's like, I'm the green goblin.

The voice that they gave him. Exactly. And the cartoon. Goblin-esque voice. I'm the green goblin. I was like, all right, dude. Dude, people don't understand. I love that interpretation of that character, honestly.

But like, it is so ridiculous. Goblin is a, I'm the green goblin, Spider-Man. Goblin is a little weaker than Spider-Man. It's crazy. And he's like the only one who, like, talks like his character. like the scorpion isn't like you know like he's just like

he's just like making vague folly sounds and like clicking because he's a scorpion that's insane although scorpion does kind of sound a little bit like he does kind of sound like some new work guy I don't remember he's like really he's like really he's like really ambiguously New York Italian

he's like hyper which which scorpion are you thinking of Matt Matt Gargan yeah gargian Isn't there only one call this guy by his nickname? Yeah, Matt Gargan.

No, that's his name. Matt Gargan. That's his name. You just referred to the scorpion as Matt. Well, yes. That's crazy. You said which scorpion, Chris? How many scorpions do you know, Christopher right now?

Tell me that people you know with scorpion. Kingston, first of all. I answer my question. How many scorpions do you know, Christopher? Before you go on a tirade, there's been two or three maybe. So how many do you know? I'll tell you this. I only know Mac.

You don't. I only know Mac. I mispronounced his name. Yes, that's true. I did mispronounce his name. But there's only one Scorpion probably anyone knows other than like 18 niggas that have had sex before. No. For Jason, I'm saying which like what, because here's here's my, what my, my biggest familiarity with the Scorpion as a Spider-Man character is from the two games. Okay.

So Spider-Man, so Spider-Man one for the, um, for the PS1, and then also Spider-Man one for the, for the Xbox and PS2. Is he not, is he not Italian in those two? No, in those games, he's like, Spider-Man, like, it's, it's like, it's very bug-ish. Let me see if I can find it. In the first? It's very buggy. In the show?

In the show? In the animated series, that's where. I don't remember the animated. Oh, the animated series, he was an Italian guy. I forgot that he, yeah, I forgot that he was, he was like an Italian dude. He's like, yo, Spider-Man. of fucking pursuit Spine

Spider-Man I'm gonna fucking sling this Gabagoo on you Also in a Also in the comics he's very He's clearly a nigger from New York He was a bounty hunter Like he was a bounty hunter

That fucking what's his name That J. Jonas Amison funded To kill Spider-Man Like dead ass It's crazy Who else? I made a mistake Nobody else I'm trying to think

Of anyone else Who sounds like Oh yeah You sound like this Otto sounds ridiculous. He's German. He just, he just,

he just, he just, dumb, they just, uh, yeah, he's, Guantai. Yeah,

Guantai, Peter Parker, you're so stupid. Why you're not, why you're not genius? So, I can already hear it. But let's see,

the hell. He sounds like that. That is the PS1. He sounds like, uh, the, the, the,

the, the the the the bug cell i what is the what is the first cell called yeah yeah it's imperfect or yeah well first form yeah i don't know what it's called actually it's first stage no no it's not it's it's it's not it's not imperfect no it's imperfect it's imperfect no it's imperfect is that what that is okay yeah yeah yeah semi perfect is so semi semi that's stupid but um i do that sometimes like when i wake up and i feel like decent i wake i do the uh You start looking stupid. Do do, do.

They're jumping. Dude, they're jumping him. That's great. There's two grown men. Krillen technically a grown man. No, it was Krillen and Vegeta. They were like attacking him. And he was just like, oh.

Krillen is a grown up, but he's not grown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, no, he, he's grown. Since you've known him. He's groaning. He's growing. Goku. Goku, please help me.

I like the idea that, I like the idea that, like, I love, I like the idea that that event is so painful for him that anytime he experiences pain. Like it's, like he has to scream Goku. Yeah. The fault's like, help me Goku. Goku's nowhere out. He's in the toilet constipated and he screams on a toilet. And then he explodes. Dude, the fact that Freeza kills him.

Why does Frisa kill him? It's so crazy. He's so pathetic. He could have killed anyone. He could have killed any of the other people. If Chautu was there, he would have killed him. You know what I'm saying? Chautzu would have killed himself.

Well, that was, Kixen, the reason that they killed Krillin at that point in that way is because at that point in the show, the only characters to explode have been bald people. It was, what is it? It was Chautu. And that's it. but it's a pattern it's a pattern and Friezer was like

let me do that let me let me get that one like Frida is if not nothing Frida does no pattern recognition if anything Frizer he's a noticer for sure

Absolutely Noticer is crazy He would be though Anyway He'd be like Why do they have on the wealth Shut up It's crazy

Anti-Sylventi The imperfect cell. That would be great. It's fucking crazy. Do you want to see me drink this guy? I'm not, I'm not touching that one right out. Do you, me, no, no, new, new, new, new, new, new, no, no, no, no. I got chosen people, go, too.

Let's see if God chooses they, if they survive. Well, no, that would be, that would be, let's see if they make it. That'd be a lot. Corrinth wrote in, as you can on Patreon. on a Compsizer Snark Tank. I know I said that already, but I'm just reminding you. He says,

Hey, Chris Sweeney and my close personal friend Derek. Also, I'm gay. Amazing. That's cool. They don't,

those don't, those don't disqualify each other. Those don't like, that's not, a really awful sentence. Does it? What is this? There have been,

there have been alleged, so listen to this. There have been alleged sightings of two Mads' Overwatch account being spotted online and in game. implying, of course, that the game is now haunted by his relentless spirit. No way.

That is the implication. I thought it was going to be, I thought the implication was going to be that somebody inherited the account and is using it. But this is much more likely, I think. That being said, if you were to die playing an online multiplayer game and forced to haunt the servers forever, what game would you prefer it to be and why? Oh, God. Listen, hold on. There's a few functioning people that probably just tuned. in found us

probably have no fucking idea who the fuck too mad is oh yeah so too mad we should maybe do some some uh some stage setting I guess too mad how would you even stage set too mad though like he was this he was a YouTube guy or like an internet content guy I guess more specifically

who would I first became aware of him when he was doing the Zoom calls during COVID that was when he blew up um I knew about him before that but that was his he became like international by getting Zoom passwords and infiltrating them and saying a lot of Chinese stuff usually

mostly Chinese stuff. Loki just ruining people trying to learn. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny. I laugh at it, but it's like, you're just being a piece of shit.

He did porn with Bell Delphine. He did do that. And I think he was like, he was addicted to some drugs or something where he was schizophrenic or something. He was like mentally really, really unwell. And then he died.

Yeah. Playing Overwatch. And so his account. Which is like, man, we call that backboard. He was, I wish I still have my old Twitter account because he was trying to hang out with me during a Bitcoin thing. He was trying to hang out with me at some point too. Yeah. And I knew he was unwell all the way back then because the way the conversation went, it would be a few lines of like normal stuff.

And he's like, oh, I'm over at, I forgot that guy's house. He was at like a smash. The smash league people. There's a bunch of people that lived in a smash house. and I think they did a lot of weird shit happen over there. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Most of that guy's name something, Williams or something?

I can't remember. Sky Williams. Sky Williams. Yeah, so it was that dude's house. And then like when I would try to coordinate with him, it would be that. And then it would be like a random like, it almost sounded like encyclopedia. And I was like, I was like, this dude was fucking crazy. Like I thought it was a bit.

And then I was like, oh, no, he's actually nuts. And so, yeah, unfortunately that eventually got him. Yeah. my it's so funny like my my DM history with too mad

is just is just him you never reply to him I never replied to him once I think I might have replied to him or something maybe but it's not showing up here I don't know but he says boss on May 8th 2020

and I was like I didn't respond and then or May 8th 2020 and then May 20th 2020 so it's like into it's just like into it's

So this is into COVID, right? Because March was the beginning of COVID. So, like, clearly he's insane. And he's going crazy. And he's, like, just reaching out to everybody. He sends me a video of, like, I guess, what is this? It's the, it's the Halo guy, Master Chief's voice doing a cameo or something. And he says, why is it that I perceived you as a political YouTuber?

Now you're Mr. Halo in all caps. Oh, cool. Now you're Mr. Halo. And I was like, I don't know what to say to this, man. Thanks. I don't know what to say to this. You should have said, but, uh, you could have saved him. So anyway, I could have, I could have, I could have, I could have reached out.

Come on. I could have reached out of, I could have, I mean, I don't give a shit. That's crazy. That's so unnecessary. You could have saved him, bro. You could have befriended him. And you would have been like, hey, play Halo. Don't forget about Overwatch.

And then he's still here. Can you imagine? if I was like, don't play Overwatch, it'll kill you. And then, and like, he probably died from just playing such a shit game.

Damn, real shit. Overwatch is fine. I like Overwatch, actually. It's fine. I like the ape. The ape, yeah.

Winston or whatever. Winston. Kingston. Kingston. That's so fucking trash. But yeah, that being said, if you were to die playing

an online multiplayer game and force to haunt the service, forever. What game would you prefer it to be? Obviously, I think mine would be a Halo game. Although Marathon would be great, because like that's like you lose everything. So like to be to be responsible for people losing their shit as a spirit

is low key pretty intent pretty tantalizing. But. Lokey. What would you do, Kingston? My arrivals? Nah. It would be, it'd be, it'd be, it has to be called duty. Really? It'd have to be. Because I'd get a laugh

in the afterward all the time too. You would, you would, you would shout the N-word through other people's mics and then get them banned I didn't say that though and I'm like sure you did that I swear to God I didn't say that I swear I was on mute the whole time I would never I would I don't think I would would I do that

I wouldn't right if you drive people crazy they're like did I get down sounds like me because you do like a good impression of him or something am I racist? Did I do that I don't think I did that but like that's clearly me and it's not AI I know it's not AI I know it's not AI what and I'm just grinning fat

I like that I want I want I want to do something similar, but to Fortnite and get every child banned. You know, like, just work hard at haunting every child and getting their accounts banned. And then, of course, their parents think they did something bad and they get spanked and, you know, thrown into foster homes or whatever. Jackpot.

I just ruin all sorts of lives. And now there's only enough foster homes. The problem with that is if they get banned from Fortnite, they're just going to go to Roblox, which is worse. Yeah, see, I'm not powerful enough of the spirit to deal with Roblox. I played Robox one time, one time ever I played that game. And I got called a monkey so much I signed off. They were making monkey sounds.

They were fucking just being mean. Was it kids? What were you playing? They were little kids. I was on like a random server just like fucking, what is this fucking stupid ass game? Like obviously discrediting it entirely. And then the kids were like,

I was just making sounds. And I was like, you are so mean. They just knew you were black. I might have talked. I might have talked once. That's crazy. And they were like, got you. He doesn't remember.

You said the N word and they immediately knew it. No. I said something about Timberland. They were like, oh yeah. Only you are. Talk about Tims. Only a spooky would say that and they went after me.

That's fucking crazy. No. What is this? this. I don't even understand what this question is, but I'll read it anyway. Tim Poole's bunker is a literal echo chamber ruin. He says, what's up, fellas? My question is simple. If you could create a 60 second Super Bowl ad for the Snark Tank, what would you put in it? Okay, I read that wrong. So I didn't see ad at first. It was like, if you can create a 60 second Super Bowl for the Snobo tank, I was like, excuse me? I don't know what that means. A Super Bowl

ad, I wouldn't even know what to, if we were handed a slot for free somehow. So, but, Like some company was like, we can't take this spot. You do it for whatever it is you're going to do. Like it's just not worth it. Just do it. We need to use the slot. We don't have anything for it. Just do it.

What would we do? It would be that clip, right? It would probably just be the jeopardy. Oh, the Jeopardy one? Yeah. I guess it would have to be, uh, because I mean, that, that, that, that, that clip routinely explodes, like in like, bursts now. That's pretty crazy.

That thing's up to, like, $15 million. minimum. That's nuts. Across all the places that it's posted. Yeah. So I was talking to, or Nikki, she mentioned that some of her friends, I don't know if those friends or relatives, but they said to her, they're like, hey, isn't there those guys that were at your wedding? I was like, what the fuck? They said that. Yeah. So like it got to the point where it's just reaching Normies. My family found out about it, dude. Oh, right, right. That's right. My literal family found out about it.

I was like, this is absolutely dog shit. What was the reaction? My aunt was like, what the fuck were you doing, Kingston? You know, the internet's forever. You know that, right? And I was like, yeah, that's why it's so funny. The idea of that is so ridiculous, by the way, also. It's like the internet, oh, what?

The standards are going to increase. It's never going to go away, Kingston. You know that, right? And also, who cares? It's not like it's your fucking penis or something. Like, what, it's just that you're making a dumb bit. even if it was your penis, who gives a shit I mean, yeah, that's true.

Prefer of my penis, actually. The Super Bowl ad would be me, seeing if I can bust in under 60 seconds. And then they just put the fucking snark tank logo at the very end. And failing and failing, you don't do it. I mean, I probably would fail. I don't have that type of

you know, maybe when I was like young and really hyped up. 60 seconds is quick, man. I can't do you. 60 seconds is, no. It would have to be, it would have to be a cheat. I would have to be,

complete cheat code. Like I've been edging for like a long time and it's like, all right, easy. 60s is quick, man. No. I even like 60's quick. No, no. At my age and stuff, no. It's that. No, it's not happening. I wish. I, I, that's a fast pop, man. I want one. I want to, I want it to be like that. You know what I mean? There's one dog. One long tugging and pop. And then you're, you're done. You're like, Like one long. Anyway, roll Fizzle beef, Rodin. He says,

Hey there, peanut butter gamer, shady do rags and too mad. Too mad. Oh, interesting. You guys mentioned how the mask could easily have been a horror scenario. And it reminded me that in the mask comics, there were actually scenes where he used cartoon physics to brutally

kill normal people in horrifying ways. I also wanted to ask, if you guys know any adaptations that drastically changed the tone of the original while still remaining good something like Pluto turning Astro Boy into a gritty grounded murder mystery. Did that happen? Is there a gritty grounded Astro Boy?

First time I'm hearing about that. Also, who the fuck is Pluto? You know, the dog. Pluto Astro Boy, I don't, I'm not even going to dress that. What are you stupid? It's the fucking dog. What are you stupid? What are you dumb? Yeah. I can keep hearing. I've been, since we've been mentioned the mask

quite a bit. I've been hearing a lot about the comics. People have been mentioning the comics a lot. And I'm like, am I going to have to go fucking check the comments out because people keep bringing it up? I remember seeing like, uh, not clips of the comics. It's images. But like, like images from the comics that are pretty fucking crazy. Um, yeah, man, the mass

comic. Yeah, the art is nuts. It's way scarier. it's like way fucking more concerning yeah he's tripping in the fucking comics yeah he's like stone bugging yeah like the movie's almost

the movie is almost like silly and nice in comparison to like whatever the fuck's going on the comic books he's like have you looked them up at all I haven't put in Google just the mass comic the character design is nuts yeah there's like there's like scenes

like he looks more like a logo. Like he looks less like a person and more like a logo for something that doesn't exist. It's very weird. I don't know how to describe it. Like the mouth is so huge and the eyes or something like the head that the eyes in the mouth are attached to are so tiny in comparison to both of those features. Yeah, he's tripping in the comics. It's really, it's actually funny. It's really scary like actually. Oh yeah. For sure. Yeah. He's like genuinely deranged. Yeah. He kind of looks he looks a little bit like fucking, uh, um, well, his teeth are really. huge but um oh my god uh red skull he kind of has like a red skull vibe yeah yeah yeah there's a red skull vibe going on but it's it looks nuts i bet these comics are really cool i just never i don't i've never been a comic book guy anyway so like um chal those teeth are crazy dude the teeth are nuts he looks like uh he looks like a logo for a football team you don't i mean yeah yeah yeah he totally totally

the green skins or something that's kind of cool I wonder let's see him check it out let me see what I can do maybe I'll maybe I'll buy some if the price is right

just pirate it whatever yeah ain't no way the guy who made the mask is still who must be dead who let me see

a lot has to be Bob Barker John Arcudy Doug Manky I don't know how you how you pronounce that last name

Mike Richardson is he still alive? Who are these people? Mike Richardson? Mike Richardson Let me Google Mike Richardson dead I guess I could just Google

Yeah that'll That'll Oh no he's still alive Oh he did Hellboy also Oh Oh that makes sense Wait what the fuck wait is this Wait now I'm confused

Because this is saying he did Hellboy But these are movies So he wrote the movie the mask No the mask Oh you're the okay So somebody else whatever. I don't care. And never mind. It's, it's, I'm losing interest.

Mike Mignola. Oh, illustrator, John Byron. No, I'm thinking, I'm looking at something else. Never mind. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, maybe I'll check it out. So anyway, the, uh, somebody, fuck me. The question, I guess, is do you guys know of any adaptations

is that drastically changed the tone of the original while still remaining good? Uh, I mean, I would argue the, the Toby Spider-Man movies are that. Like, it's not exactly the same tone. It's also very different source material. Yeah. But it's, it's very, it's very much so early Spider-Man. Like Steve's, he's, Stan Lee shit. Like, that's what he's referencing. Yeah, but he does a very good job of that.

But the organic webbing and stuff like that, you know what I mean? Like, there's, like, it's, it's pretty drastically different in a lot of ways. I think it works. I wouldn't think it's good. It has differing moments and it works what it is. Also, he sees Spider-Man by himself in a world. It's just Spider-Man compared to like, Spider- Man is like one amongst 3,000 powered niggas in New York City, you know. There's a lot. What were you going to say there? Oh, no, no. I thought it was funny that I never really paid attention to, I've been watching like

Red Letter Media for a long time. And then they went through him and Jay went through all of Sam Ramey's movies. And I never realized how much. And maybe I just missed it, how much Rich Evans hates the Sam Ramey, Toby McGuire. as Spider-Man. I was like, oh, wow, it is very funny. He really doesn't like it? No, like he really hates it.

And he's like, why? It's, because he's like you. I don't hate those movies. He's like a comic book guy who's just like, I love comic book so much. And this is not exactly what Spider-Man is supposed to be. Basically. I mean, it has some moments that if I think it's a good movie. I just think that like, you know, like,

Spider-Man 2. He hates it. It was like, it was interesting because Spider-Man 2 was high up on list to where even though he hates Toby McGuire as Peter Parker he is like it's an undeniable good fucking movie so it's still high in his list. Yeah absolutely but I just thought it was funny because I actually

I've never really I've never heard anybody now that Rich is like say much older so again I wasn't talking to people that were around that age people my age no one had a problem with it. It was just like we all pointed out like oh yeah he looks fucking like an adult but who cares. Like, that's everything.

I don't think he's a good. Yeah, that was everything at that time. I don't think he's the best Spider-Man either, but I think those movies are good. And I think what that movie succeeds in, but anything else supporting cast, I think the supporting cast of those movies are unbelievable.

Like, they're all so good. It's crazy. I think, even James Franco, he's fucking solid as hell of those movies. Yeah, I like him. And it's like,

this is great. I don't like, Kirsten Dunst, though, as, it's not, it's not, her fault. I think, I think, I think Mary Jane is just awful. As a character? I just, yeah, they, they, they kind of

combined Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy for those movies. Yeah, I just don't like, I don't, I've never liked, especially, it was funny, they hit the beat. They actually reversed them, right? Because they, weren't, they, I think they were talking about that in the Red Letter Media video where they were talking about, like, yeah, like, Gwen Stacy's the model in this. And like, Mary Jane is kind of like the working, the working girl or whatever. And it's like, oh, yeah. Well, Mary, the thing is that Mary Jane is, is his, is not his first love. His first love is Gwen. Well, duh, yeah. That's the first one.

But Mary Jane is the model, is what I mean. Gwen Stacey and Spider-Man 3 is the model. It's like, why do you even... They clearly just were trying to get venom in there, and then they were like... Make them date. Make them be dating. I don't know, man. But, yeah, I don't know.

See you ch- Farts. I love that video. See you so many far. My favorite thing about that is how ridiculous that shot is because he's standing, right? He's standing. And then he jumps up?

and falls through the floor. So he's either standing on air or he's standing over the manhole like this. Yeah, he's very wide. See it, and then he does, it must be that. It must be that.

Which looks insane. We know, he breaks his camera. It's like so mean. Yeah, well, he was like, bro,

what the fuck was it? He should have just punched his face. It would have been, you know. That's crazy. He should have grabbed his face and squeeze. like this. As hard as he can, he turns around.

And he hits Eddie. Red Foreman. Dumbass! I told you not to fuck with Spider-Man, Dumbass! You know. All right. In a similar vein to this question.

I'm sorry. What? Oh, no. What were you going to say? No, nothing. I want to hear a red form. I was just going to red form. The symbiote was going to go on red form.

That's all. Sybioed red form. Yeah. Dumbass. He's just like a fucking scream. There's no way. You're not beating. You're not beating him, dude.

That's too powerful. Who would be, let me, I have a question that I'm going to post to you. Who would be the scariest real life person to acquire a venom symbiote? I don't know, probably John Jones. Oh, like that fighter? Yeah, he'd be bad. It would be bad for many reasons, but on a, on a, who would,

hmm, I don't know. I'm trying to think of like, a real villainous shit, like, real, like a real villain getting that suit. would probably be like, oh my God, I can't remember his name right now. Let's, I don't care. Nobody, a lot of people aren't going to know who these guys. Well, let's just somebody like, I'm trying to think of like, because it's too easy, Benjamin Netanyahu, because there's people that are probably more,

he's like the face of evil, but you know there's other people that are like, I'm trying to think of someone like that that we're like, oh, every time you look at this person, you kind of get a little bit of something in your stomach. You're like, that guy's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, but... So I've, the people that come to mind immediately for me, Symbiot Ricky Berwick, I feel like would be...

Oh. Because I don't know what that would look like. Is like, is the symbiote also mangled? Have you guys, have you guys ever have you guys, okay, this is going to be, this is a deep, deep cut. Have you guys seen... Simiote 2-988? Have you guys played Castlevania, right? Have you guys played any of like the classic Metrodvania games?

What are you talking about? Have you guys played Castlevania? Like any of the old? the ones. You remember the lion that had the like fucking spinning limbs around its face? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Ricky Burke if he got it. It'd be a Venom Subio. Yeah, that's a cool looking bus. That's from the

Symphony, right? That's from all of the all the ones past symphony. Oh, they're just all like they're all like. Okay. Take a mainstay. A lot of the villains got you. Gotcha. I don't think I ever beat Sypithina and I, but I played a shit time of it because I didn't have a memory card. So I Damn. I just had to. I didn't have a memory card for so long.

that like we, I think we were talking about this on Discord the other day, about like, uh, when, uh, when we were, me and me and the boys were playing marathon, where it was just like, I grew up so accustomed to not saving my progress that like, like, having wipes like this kind of doesn't bother me. Like losing shit doesn't bother me because I'm so accustomed to it. Like saving progress was such a late thing for me. When I, like, when I was like, why didn't you have the memory card? Like, because I just didn't care really. I didn't even think it was like a big deal because like games were so short also. Like a lot of games like back then I would beat in one sitting anyway.

And the games that I couldn't beat one sitting, I was like, all right, maybe eventually I'll get good enough to do it. Never. You're proficient, bro. I'm not, I never beat. Because I beat Contra. I remember being Contra. I don't think I could do that now. Contra was so hard. But like, I remember

just beating it in one sitting. It was a long sitting, but I remember beating it. And I just remember being like, okay, cool. And then it was just kind of gone. On the NES, you couldn't save. You had the password system, which I guess I was like too stupid to understand what that even meant at the time. Like I was just too young. I didn't look up anything.

We didn't really. Google was kind of came later for me. So like I didn't even, like I saw a password system and I was like password. The fuck. I don't know what any of this. I'm just going to play the game. I don't know what this means. But,

but yeah, I don't know. I got memory cards eventually for like PS2. But it was PS2 era that I got memory cards. Oh, wow. So like 2001 going forward. I remember, dude, I beat.

Budakai won many times. That's crazy. Because I was like, I didn't think, I didn't. Well, you know what confused me? Because I had the Xbox, right? And the Xbox had a hard drive. And the hard drive would save. And I was like, oh, the PS2 clearly has a hard drive.

But then it didn't. And I was, I remember just being like, oh. Dude, the Krillen fight would sell. Okay. You beat that. You've beat that multiple times. I got crazy. That fight is so hard.

Dude, Jesus Christ. I was. unbelievably good at Budakai won. I got really stupid good at that game. Dude, I played Budakai. Okay, this is a while ago now. It's probably over 10 years ago now. But I remember randomly, I was at like our friend Joe's house.

And he was like, hey, I'm going to think you were there? Well, you're there that night? It was me and Joe and I think Juan. And we're all playing. And I'm not bad at that game either. Like I'm not good anymore. Like probably when I was younger, I was a freak. But I remember all of us playing.

And Juan, Joe. and I can't remember it was you there, but I was good at the game, and everyone was so much better than me. And I was like, why are you guys still good at this game? Why are you guys still get at Boudicay, Tenkaichi three? We're all in our 20s now.

What the fuck is going on? I was playing that game for a long time. I was very solid at three, and then I just stopped playing because I was like, oh, I'm going to go to Tenkaichi now. Like, obviously, like a regular person. I was like, oh, we're going to move on. But I guess,

you guys were like, nah, I'm still in the lab. I'm not done figuring out how to work this game yet. Did you play as Kid Boo, Chris? Oh, was that one? Okay, yeah, it was you there. I was a kid. I was obnoxious. Because I would get like 300 hit combos because there was a way where you could basically

break. Yeah, I still remember his move. It would be like a couple punches. He would do a swipe kick and then like the guy would flip and then he'd punch him and then he'd uppercut him up and then he would hit him a bunch and kick him down. And then you'd zoom up to him and do the same thing again. And you could get like 500 hit combos on people

if they didn't know how to react to it and it was fucking awesome. Broken as fuck not competitive in the slightest because the first person who did is like okay well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like you have to be stupid, stupid good to even come out of that. But yeah, I was a kid boom in that game and it was fucking ridiculous. I love that game. Shout out to that experience, man. Let's see. Let's see.

What the fuck is this? I'm not reading that. A bunch of fucking hieroglyphics, basically. The N-word. The N-word. Nuclear. Nuclear. That's, I love that one.

Who said that? Was that Bush? I probably. Probably. It's a lot of people, really. Nuclear. Nuclear weapons. Mass destruction.

You know one thing I noticed when I was, I was playing Revenue Reckleyum and, um, fuck i already forgot her name the the chick that uh that leon's always talking to right clear no no no in and and and and i'm not clear uh shelby shell shelly shelly is it whatever i forgot sherry sherry that's that's about right but i i was noticing like at certain points you would pronounce data and data differently and i was like what the fuck and i was just like i was kind of i was picking up on things like that when people make like little mistakes that they don't notice that like they're pronouncing it different at different times. And I was like, oh, it's kind of funny.

You know, I just, you know, I'm just doing different sessions and stuff. And then you kind of forget, like, which way you normally pronounce it. That game is so fun, dude. Thomas Sweeney. Thomas Sweeney, former Jeopardy champion, Rodin. He says, what do you guys think of Insomniac, adding a lore accurate mode, the Wolverine game,

that makes him 5-2 without changing anything else about the game. Is that real? Not even addressing it or adjusting the camera angle in cutscenes so he's properly in frame. That or at a mode for Derek where Wolverine is always naked with an erection that's longer than he is tall. And he does before and meows before every attack. These are these are the mods that I want to see. Unfortunately, it's probably not going to come to PC now. No, it's not. It's not.

They're moving. they're moving to a, yeah, well, there would have been a time. I know, that sucks. Yeah, so you're not going to be able to see like big dick Wolverine flying around. Damn, that sucks. Isn't that a bummer? Isn't that a bummer? That game comes out this year, right?

Yeah, couldn't they have just waited fall in September? Like next year, no more PC stuff. Well, actually, to be fair, it wouldn't make, it wouldn't make a difference because that's the time it would come out on PC anyway. So, no, mind. It wouldn't come on PC right. way it would come out like what a year later like what they usually do yes so yeah something like that uh i'm down for a five two uh version uh that doesn't tweak the camera at all i'm into that i'm into i'm into also the meow i think i think you should meow more small and naked and meowing

meowing meow meow meow small naked and meowing the wolverine he's got he's got to do the uh I love freaking fatal Fatal X. Is that what it's called? Well, he's got He's got Weapon X and then he's got Fatal Claw. Fatal Claw. Yeah.

He just jumps in the air and he vibrates so hard X comes out of him. When I was in, I was like, what the fuck is that? I was so confused. Come. I was like,

just so much cum and then it's in an X. It's all white and it hurts. It's like, ah! I was playing streets of Rates too the other day and there's a Wolverine mod but somebody he's gigantic on the screen it's so fucking funny because uh they have these street

fighter ones and they're modded correctly you know perfect size they fit well into the game but wolverid it's so it's so inappropriately large he's like almost as big as the building and he's fucking just tumbling around everywhere I couldn't even fit I couldn't even get to the first level because it's just too stupid Oh my god Necrow bub What the hell is this? Triple threat last man standing match

Featuring the Benoit family He says hello Derek Piss and Pini Crazy Just a quick question How much money would it take for you guys to clone your willies And get pegged by them Therefore essentially fucking yourself

Also Will you all lend each other your clones You can't just add a fucking thing in the end of that. Listen. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a big ordeal to kind of go through, I think. I think I live a life where I can just say no to certain things and I'd be fine.

Yeah. I just be like, I'm fine. I don't need to know how my dick feels up my own ass. Thanks for asking, though. Yeah. I can't say that I'm. particularly curious about that either. Thanks for asking. I've never once thought about that, but hey, man, the money's right. The money's right. It's generational wealth, I might. Yeah. But like,

I can't even, I can't even imagine what that would be for me to be satisfactory. Because it has to be after taxes as well. So it couldn't be less than like millions. Yeah. I would just be like, yeah. And like, look, I understand asking for millions to do that, but also asking for millions to do that feels so ridiculous. It's also stupid because just people that do shit like that for free. Exactly. So it's like I just, I'm just not going to be involved with this. You guys have a good. Go find some. I would just give them Derek's number. I'd be like, hey, I don't want to do this. Listen. But my friend Derek would really appreciate this.

Briefcase. Briefcase 100K. Briefcase of 100K. I'll buy one of those. I remember there's this WWU wrestler named Paige. And unfortunately a lot of her shit got leaked. And she was sending like videos to this other guy named of Xavier Woods. And, well, there's also leaked stuff with them having threesomes with another guy. It's crazy. There's all this shit.

But one of the videos in particular that was sent was her. She had an anal, like, kit that trained your ass to, like, stretch it. Like, I guess porn stars use it. But she was explaining. And it blew my mind because I'm like, that makes so much sense. Like, that's how, like, these women are able to take, oh, and men, of course, probably able to take these fucking hogs in their ass without getting fucking ripped to shreds. And so like, so what I'm saying is I'll prep myself.

I'll start doing that dumb thing. Get the dildo put up my ass. Got a cool 100K that I can invest into a house. I can invest, you know what I mean? Because to me, 100K I'd be like, because I only need like like what, 20K, 30K to put down on something cool. And then the other I'll invest into like the pot or what. I'll figure it out. I think I would do that for that kind of money.

is at a realistic level because I'm like you say what you want I'm like I bet you wish you had 100k right now too fuck you I would just be like I just be like cool just believe don't tell me about this like I shot I'm glad you got your money don't I don't care yeah I mean if it's not a part of the stipulations I ain't gonna fucking like go sing on the rooftops like oh I'm not you got to talk about it you got to live stream it life see last you not is different you got a live How was it that different really? It's really not different. You're just you're just,

you're just, don't want to be embarrassed by people. You know what people would be like, yo, you took fucking, you took weenie up your butt, but. If I was, okay, look, check it up. If I was jacked beyond belief, I probably would be way less embarrassed. To me, I'd be like, you gotta show asshole, Derek.

Stop being a bitch. He's got to show whole, dude. That's crazy. To me, it's just like, I feel you can get away with anything if you're like gorgeous, you know what I mean? So if you're in perfect tip top shape, guy, guy, you do something that's really embarrassing. People would be like, oh, at least they look good.

That's kind of what it comes down to. Say if you piss and shit yourself, you're like, oh, at least it look good. It's not as embarrassing. Like if you're like swappy, if you're emaciated, if you have something wrong with you, it's just like, damn. And that it's like you're fucked up and this happened to you. Damn. You have too much.

You have too many asshole wrinkles. Like it's like too many. Too many asshole wrinkles. I would you even know that. What is too many? That's what that's crazy about it Like somebody knows that You genuinely just have too much

Like an asshole connoisseur Like you know those people that are in the feet There's like the asshole fetish And then people just know like I don't know about those wrinkles man That's too many That's too many of them You're looking dark man

You gotta lighten that shit up a little bit bro What are you doing? What do you use? What kind of like What kind of cream do you use to Because I know porn stars Would bleach their assholes like But it's not actual

It's this stupid question It's not like a It's not like the bleach that you use in your hair or something like that. It's not real bleach, right? But like it's not like it's literally bleach. I mean, is it like. It's probably not as concentrated. The thing that you put in your hair, the thing is like the same thing.

Yeah. No, probably less concentrated, maybe. I probably. I can't. That's crazy. I can't imagine though, right? It has to be more. All right.

It would be less. How much money to bleach your raw body? How much money to bleach your ass? Probably like, I don't know, like maybe like two bands, three bands. Three bands. Three bands. Yeah. That's reasonable.

I don't really care about it. I'm not seeing it. I'm not seeing it anyway. I'm just doing this to get my bread. Like, I don't go fuck. I'm trying to get my money up. I don't think anyone, but the doctor has seen my asshole. I think the, what do you call it? I had a colonoscopy. I know what the doctor? He was like, oh, there's too many wrinkles, man.

He's like, he's like, he's fucking. He puts his nail in there and starts counting on one, two people. The procedure took way too long because he was just. This man is inside of you. you're acting a fool within your body acting completely unfamiliar. You wake up and his head is in your ass. You fucking look at the monitor and you see him in your ass. Hey, hey, put him out, put him out, put him out.

Give him more finn. Get him back to sleep quick. So stupid. Pulling his head out of your eyes. Hold it. His neck extends. Sorry, on that,

on that note. I got lost in there for a bit, by bad. But, so. Everything looks good. Everything looks great to be. Oh,

but you also have cancer. My cancer looks like it's in great shape. He pulls his hat of your asshole. He licks his fingers. You go, you go, what? Wait, what did you say? It's like, yeah, the cancer's doing great. Like, that's not what I...

Fantastic. Oh, I thought you... Cancer inspection, you wanted me to let you know how the cancer was doing. Dude, I was staring up your asshole for three hours straight. Do you imagine, like, you go to the doctor, he's like, yeah, in his mind, he thinks that's what you're asking, like, how strong is the cancer? And you come out and you go, what's it like, what's it like, the doctor? what's going on what's going on with me doc and he goes well i got great news seems like it's in great shape oh uh he just seems oh okay well uh thanks uh great that's great news i can i can go home

worry free and i'm like really you're not okay he's oh okay imagine that you the doctor and then he just lets you go he just lets you go and then three years later you're obviously sick and you're like and he's like oh yeah you have you have cancer i told you years ago that it was strong strong it was great it was in great shape the idea of him pulling his head of your asshole holding him indestructible is what i is what i is what i damn the cancer in his teeth he's got the tumor in his mouth you're wrong something in there's disgusting that's so stupid all right we're gonna go we're gonna get the fuck out of here we're gonna read our names from our 25 round up patrons over at patreon at com slash star tank remember you can go over there uh get your

name right at the end of the show, early ad free access, early access to every episode. Free episodes, or not free episodes, exclusive episodes. All that jazz. So pop on over there, Stark Tank that shop for merch, you know, you know what it is. What are you, uh, we, um, huh? We good to count down. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So did your cancer back in. Don't worry. It's a little loose. It was coming out actually, like naturally. And I was like, mm. I can let that happen. I can fix this. I can fix this up.

They call me, they call me the fixer. No, because I fix everything. The fixer. It was a fix your cat. I fix people's cancer before it cures itself. I fix niggas asshole cancer.

We talked about that guy on the show, right? The, the dude who cured some kind of cancer and rats in Spain or whatever, and he had like a Resident Evil face. So everybody didn't. Yeah. No one wanted to get a guy. Like the dude with the chainsaw.

Yeah. Yeah. St. Dr. D. He didn't sound like that. Black American. He says black Americans.

He says black Americans. So clearly. Another racist zombie. Here we go again. Melod. Like fucking, that's how fucking, what you go to all the talks? The, um. Venom?

No, dude. What's dude's name? I don't know. The tyrant, the second tyrant. Nemesis? Nemesis, there you go. Doesn't he just scream stars and that's it? He points.

Like, he's chasing Jill. And then a black man's like freaking out. And he's like, nigger, knocks Jill out the way, grabs the black man, jumps out the building with him. He's just searching for black people. Why? What's he did? He's like building a Voltron of black people. He's trying to create.

the ultimate black person meck and they're like at the lab like i didn't program this i didn't i swear i i nobody put this nobody put this imperative into his into his brain like no one we know we have no idea where this where this is coming from this is purely i promise you it's it's nurture not nature i swear to god i swear to god i told him to kill the stars he turned around said the hard are and busted out of the fucking the end the end it he said niggas took off

he barrel rolled out the window I'm a fourth story laboratory window and he doesn't stick the landing at all he doesn't

not stick the landing but it doesn't matter because he's he lands on his back but he's so strong he's mad he can tell he's hurt you say he runs away

he's like embarrassed he covers his face don't look don't look don't see you don't see you didn't see that he's scared campers away in the dark.

Oh, what a stupid fucking premise. Cut me down, please. We're going to read the names now. Three. Two. And one. All right. The Great Unwashed. Were you doing like a... It's like the Mr. Owl. Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Ow, how many...

How many niggas are in this building at this moment? One. A two. A three. Mr. Al, how many niggas are present currently? 3,000. Like, oh, really? Yeah. Mr.

Al, how many times did that cop shoot that black man? Who won? Too many. One. Two. Two. He says just too many. Domestic violence, Mr. Al.

Or like, not domestic violence. Police brutality, Mr. Al. That sounds like peak to me. I'm saying. Police brutality, Mr. Al? That sounds like peak. It's pretty good. Mr. Al, how much time does George Floyd have to live?

One. It's over. Nine. Nine minutes. Holy shit, dude. Laughing his ass off to George Floyd's death in that tree, cooing and hollering. He's fucking...

His neck is suffocally. He's laughing so hard. Crazy. He's laughing up a storm. It sounds crazy because he's laughing like really loudly and like different... It's like a Doppler effect almost, but he's standing still. That's so fucked up. It's like, what are you laughing at, Mr. Al?

George Floyd's dad. He's like, how do you know about that, Mr. Al? You're in a treat. You have, how do you know this? He's a knower. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Yeah, yeah, he's on Twitter. He pulls out a fucking, he pulls out a 17-inch iPad from his pocket.

A 17-inch iPad is nuts. You look at his profile and he's only following the daily wire and like maybe do a leaper or something. That's crazy. That's numbers though. I respect that. It makes sense. That is numbers. I want to eat Benjibu's eyebrows.

Ooh. Ow, stop it. A two. That's it. Not picking out my face. Ow, stop. Carl. Mr.

Al, you've been a, you've been an impeccable donor to our cause. But like, please stop. assuming that you could just bite the eyebrows off my face. You haven't paid for that privilege exactly. Exactly. Trash. But for the right prize. Let's move on.

In fact. In fact. Okay. Three. How much gold do you have? Two. One. That's crazy.

The Great Unwashed Spud. King of Halfazard. This show is just racist. the dumb slut that dies first in Chris's weird Dino movie

a different sad guy from Michigan gay snoop dog rolling down his jeans smoking smoking men oh sipping on

dicks and come penis I got my dick in my hand my hand my dick what gay

with my on my I funny chill iFuny is the worst app to talk about minorities What are you doing? Who's on iFoney still is the question I'm trying to figure out Who's on IFwny having political conversation?

I funny, I funny died a long time ago because I funny's been dead for some time now That I funny's been off the air for some time now The idea of like commenting on I funny On like anything political is like

that's like commenting on like only fans me like nice pussy have you heard what israel's doing that's right yeah nice liby do you know what israel nice he's gone he's gone he heard israel he left because i can't be a part of this i can't be a part of this i can't two hours in after like the seventh reference i can't talk down my homeland like this i can't do it no more guys that's crazy cold brew king alpha v the gayest bronco fan in history of being gay chris leaves and sweden and Derek convert to Islam. What the fuck? Did we really?

And rounding out our list as always the king of haphazard. My penis is long and unstable. My... What? My dicker is thicker than cable. It's hairy, of course,

and it stands up for horse and looks like the towers of Babel. Nice. Okay. He landed the ship. He did land it a little bit. You did like a little,

uh, Master P.S. You did, you did like a master P. S thing with that, which I, you know, I appreciate,

I appreciate the occasional stretch. My lips are painted in the past. The fuck was there. Though my life has changed. Yeah, what happened to you? It's like happened last time, but,

you know, last time it was High Guard, I don't know what it was this time. Yeah, Israel, we mentioned. A single mom who works two jobs

who loves her kids and never stops. You got to sing. With simple hands and a heart of a fighter. Somebody kill him. I hate me. You suck.

The void that Casper tell stared into, a big king of haphazard, king of haphazard. Nice. Fuck Nords, get bitches, no money, only coins.

Hey, Siri, text my mom and tell her I'm gay. Yeats, spout, the king of haphazard, the only remaining Starship Kanemobam fan on this barren earth.

If this doesn't change again, then I am dead. All right. Hooray 400. Group masturbation begins in 30 minutes. We're not 400 yet. Because remember, technically we're already 400 because we had an episode zero, right?

So... Don't tell them that. So this is not... This is not episode 400. This is episode 399.5. Five. You have to understand. You have to remember that. Remember.

What the fuck did Siri just do? Siri wants your body. Just ask me for like a bunch of movies. from 1993. The fuck. Anyway, Chris Gay, and rounding out the middle of, and rounding out the middle,

King of haphazard, nice. The Dead Spider, Alexa, Google, I put my belt on the wrong way round, and it really bothers me. Am I autistic? No? I mean, maybe, actually? I don't know.

Just put it on the right way. What are you doing? My dick hole is so tight that when I piss, I hear it hissing. and when I sperm, they go out single file. Nice. Single file sperm is crazy. Chris cry piss is when Captain Greenman runs too fast.

It's Captain Lou, and I'm talking to you. Delta Gamma literally fed this toddler last week. Why is this little crying? Klameliskire the third. Blue sang healy. And starting out our list, the king of haphazard, nobody be profan like I be profen. I am going to kill the president with a mortar.

Oh, the jizzar. everybody oh the jizzery everybody trying to put their dick in me that's pretty good I'll do that I'll do that this the only time

I will only ever I will only ever tolerate Imagine Dragons if we can make it gay nice oh the jizzery so stupid the entirety of Jacksonville, Florida Emma Viglin summoning the strength of 1,000 chimps and ripping off the top half of Timpool's skull off.

Chainsaw Judd. Chuck Landline, order conundrum. I'm not even going to fucking try to decipher that, man. What? You should. Chuck Landline? What is that? Landline.

Chuck, what's the opposite of Chuck? Charles. Charles Fontlandline. I know order is probably chaos. Chuck Landline. Hmm. Somebody's screaming right now. Oh, chunk landline.

Oh, chunk. Smooth? Order, conundrum. Are you trying to say splinter cell chaos theory, you piece of shit? It's got to be it. Yeah. In what world, you fucking garbage for it. In what world is splinter the opposite of chunk and conundrum the opposite of theory?

You need to, I, we. never mind i guess that's the best like what what would you put uh there's what you would do here's what you would do you would see that it doesn't work and you would forego it entirely you'd pick something else you would pick something them that's that was dog shit dude that was crazy i at least get it a splinter you got a profile picture of something versus a chunk of something i get it's terrible like that's still terrible you i'm gonna try i'm gonna try to not ban you um they can have hazard i have to try though. The king of haphazard

engorged and extended. Berserker-Brolley's Bangbus-sized Venus, the Sloker 2, Wiso Derby. Homo, homo, homo, homo, there's no women. Nice. Ice, wallow, ejaculate. And rounding out our list is always king of have hazard. Remy LeBoe, A.k.a. Gambit, aka Ted Kardzinski,

aka the Uno bomber. Nice. Very cool. Good stuff. That's good stuff right there. Attaching my colostomy bag to my feeding tube for an infinite food hack. Tankus the trash man, Sweeney's four-ply ribs.

Fuck-ass name change to hide from my wife, to hide from my wife, to hide from my ride-ins. Capcom for fuck safe, give us a dino crisis remake. Please, I'm begging. Derek not Chauvin is innocent, hashtag free him.

And rounding out of list is always, the king of haphazard, bye guys. Every, every, Jesus Christ. Round-eyed Asian, wishing you would make fun of Asians again. He's so close. Corrin. The King of Hab Hazard.

We are Jeff Epstein. We carry the plane. We fight for the island. We honor Gilane. Damn, that's pretty good. That's good. That's good. That's not bad.

Galane? Good working in there. That's very good. The only problem is we are Jeff Epstein. It's a little messy there, but like it works. Yeah. I love that song on Iran. I should add that to my Spotify playlist.

We are Charlie Curtis. Good. King of Hazard, King of Hab Hazard. The King of Hab Hazard, these are two names that I just read. The Queen of Fap Hazard. I just wanted to catch some cum, drink some piss,

dive your ass at any easy being gay. He has that in parentheses as if that's his name. I'm gonna lose my mind. Bald, blue-eyed German man waiting for Expedition 33 movie where Sween is Lunei flying around on screen. I'm Captain Lee and I'm talking to thee.

I have the pussy so I make the rule. Snart tank's honorary leftist, some white guy. Thugzilla 2K versus the King of Fap hazard with a gun. Swingset for GTA glitch screaming on my third pump into the night mother.

That is crazy. The night mothers, that's Skyrim, right? Yeah. I feel it, man. God bless you, man. God bless you. Look, she's probably a fine shit once upon the time, but you know. That time has passed. And now it's a corpse.

It's a corpse. It talks to you, though. You got to go for it. You got to go for it. Star Tanks. I'd fuck Cicero, I'm just saying. I would try. Emilio the Chosen one.

This way up, V. The Little Mermaid, but like a Mirmage. Mirmage? Yeah. Mirmage it. Bear in the big blue Braithwaite Banner. Ray de Maze.

Ray Re de Medio Reyesgo? Riesco, I don't know what that word means. It's probably a slur or some kind. Big meaty stinks. Canola Joe drowning 1,000 ice agents and oil, the king of haphazard, gay actor Rosebud, delicious, brutally molested by 16 autistic clowns. Sorry, I can, I had a burrito.

In my ass, the pipe, the meat in my ass, where men excrete in my ass, I hear the groan in my ass of a thousand spurtors. So dumb. Heath's watching Venezuel. from a Japanese Taco Bell kids. The purple people

the purple people eater will pay Derek should make a vid on low tier god. There's no way Sweeney fits on that bed. Sweeney gonna have white conquistador kids La Malle.

What? Are they white? I could see a scenario where both of you mix and like something happens and it looks just like a white guy. There's no way.

Like I'm, I'm so, not European. It's crazy. Like less than, like less than 3% European. Like actually. I think I think that I think that's fake science that you got. I am so not European. It's insane. I am like literally like North African. I'm like

Nigerian like Ugandan and like a native Caribbean. Like I am not white. Your kid is going to look like like a As long as it's healthy. Honestly, well, I don't care. Man. I was like a good job for being I think he's going to look like

Who's that biracial rapper? Logic? Yeah, that's it. Or Joyner Lucas, logic? I know there's a lot of them, but if I said biracial rapper, you guys immediately got it.

What if your kid comes out looking like uncannily like Edgar Allen Poe? I'd be very confused. I'm like, what are you doing here? Who the fucking mighty do? would you be concerned that like

Lily was stinking around with that if my child came out like a completely different race I would I would be can I would I would I've got to understand what I'm coming from girl this looks fishy this looks fishy I'm sorry you can say this looks fishy if it came out like Asian this looks fishy

does it I can't believe you would say that I can't believe you would say that Kingston that's crazy I'm just I'm not locked in enough for this conversation from being on this. I read Kingston's diary once and it said if I,

it was only one page and it said if I had an agent kid I would eat it. That's, it's not my diary. I can tell you that much. Okay. It said at the bottom also,

this is Kingston Jameson writing. Oh, okay, cool. Okay, cool. And it was stamped with your blood, I could tell. Oh, word, word, word, word, word, word. Yeah. Got fired for, for hone,

what, honing? Gooning? For, maybe they're trying to say that? It says honing. But like maybe they got fired for it. Let me replace it with gooning to see if it makes more sense. Got fired for gooning to AI trans Chris with triple D's and in an 18 inch and an 18 inch flaccid Pee.

Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Hey, oh. Ancient inch flashing Pee. I like that. Flacet 18 is crazy. You a I'd me to be a you aided me to be a hot woman. Is that what you did? Ancient.

It's a soft man. It is powerful, man. Also, you're going to die. You're going to die young. But, like, that's a lot of... That's too much. Yeah. A lot of wood, man.

That's insane. What are we going to do? Are they building Sweene's dog? Go ahead. Speak a little Chinese form, Derek. Nice. And running our list is always King of Hephazard. The King of Half Hazard, the King of Habhazard, Cardboard Pie.

Horrors beyond your comprehension. King of Halfazard. There we go. For all those who changed their name to King of Hazzard, you were just sheep, but I am your shepherd. Shut up. And I am your shepherd. Shepard. Shut up, Negro. Let's see what the next one is.

Dominic Touretto is yelling family at the Baptist. Terezzo? That's so stupid. That guy wrote in the sacred, I'm pretty sure. Nice. Because I heard that before. Family.

Famigger. For the, whoa. That's great. Famiger. That is so disgusting. That just made me so fucking tired. Rounding our list is always King of High Passard Gloop, I'm taking a short.

Rounding out our list is always the King of Hab Hazard. A white guy who is racist to Miles Morales, but the Hispanic half only. Booty Wonderland, Earthwind, and Dick. I fight romance when I start to dance. Booty Wonderland. Hey, hey, hey, hey, dance, booty Wonderland. God's favorite penis girl, King of Have Pazard.

Prince Ali, so gay and free. He has sex with men. He is gay. Oh, he is gay. Yes, he is gay. that's such a good song he really likes men he really really likes men all right uh smitchie the gay

mr jimmy jamb the king of haphazard king of haphazard king of haphazard king of haphazard maycar Obama at the barby like uh let me get over clear nice uh star coffee Chris quick say gurney gurney gurney gurney gurney gurney that's it Gurny Gerny

Fast Gerny Gurny Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gernie Gers Garnie, Garnie, Gapioch, shut off, stop, that. Gapioch Gropotkin, be like the conquest of dick. Yush, a bear shouting the N-word while it malls and eats you is figuratively and literally dehumanizing. That's insane. That's insane.

That's the worst dead. There you go. That is pretty good. Screaming your eyes of the fucking malls you slaps you up. You're about to pass out and then resuscitates you real quick. Slaps, you know, no, no. It opens its mouth. It does what the name does.

It does what Thor does to you. It puts the thing on your chest. We're not done yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, yo, did a bear just do this to me? What the fuck, dude? Routing out our list, the king of Blackhazard. David Bowie,

David Bowie Mansfew, queer beat, gay jerk cock. Sounds like somebody's fucking Google history. King of haphazard It's your boy, Shawnee D and the people who have a hate boner for Marathon are DFF, depressing pussy So let's relax Game Superfan

It is just objectively good And it'll be one of those things Where it's like Over time people will know The court jester of haphazard At Grok is this true Smacking Kingston so hard He finds himself in his childhood apartment

Moments before creating a fireball Oh they're called Dark Tank Because they're both blacks smart No No, the picture of Kingston, the picture of Kingston that they used for this is pretty good. It's like, oh, oh, yeah, that. Oh, smart. I hate how, I hate how my face looks sometimes, man.

It's like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, welcome to being a person. We need scumbaggack 2.0, man. Scumback 2.0. We need something else from, um, I got to get, I got to get that anime. I haven't been an animated in a little while. Sorry. I've been going to start.

You know what you try to do, Kingston? Instead of, um, instead of trying to lose weight or get healthier or anything, right? You should try to take all the weight that's everywhere else and just put it in your head somehow. You can figure out how to get your head. That'd be sick as fuck.

You'd have like a really lanky body, but your head looks wild. It looks like. Oh. That'd be so awesome. It looks like a comfort. Isn't there like a character that looks like that on like regular show or something? What am I thinking of?

Pops. Yeah, he's got a big circle. He got a lot of migraine going on. He got a lot of, he got a lot of, He got a lot of think up there. He got a lot of think. His migraines are our grains. Yeah.

That's how weird grains. Yeah. They're weird grains. Yeah, okay. What is it? Game of the year, just be game of the year guy, just be fall three moving on to San Andreas.

Good luck. What happened to Chris Chan's pregnant girlfriend? God damn. I always hate being reminded of that thing, man. I know. It's sixth grade. In sixth grade, I got in trouble for laughing at footage of the challenger explosion. Drip M.

Lord of all Drith, the king of haphazard. Trump is fighting to the nail not to spend the last 10 seconds of his life in prison. Obi won't you blow me? Column double down. Got that gamma, Ray Gat, and Dunn brought mankind to its knees. Majin Ulong fucking the shit out of cells bug pussy, no lube, Millhouse. I didn't do anything. Dave Mustaine, I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care if I shoot this kid. He's yellow. and blue and all fucking ew. Sorry, kid, you're real shootable. My apologies. I don't care if I chase

this child into a drain, shoot him. I don't care. Long barrel that nigger, quick, me house. I've sniped children before. I don't care. Okay, Chris Kyle.

Shit. My name's Christopher Kyle. Damn. I love that he got. My name's Chris Kyle Kalenski. My name's Chris Kyle Kalenski. I'm a political commentator and a sniper. Chris Kyle Kalinsky.

That's excellent. That's excellent. That guy I shot from 400 yards away didn't have Dickie McGee's axe to do. He's so old. He says that shit. He's very, uh, yeah, he's like, because what is he like 38?

He's like my age, but like he got all of his humor from South Park, though. Because there is like literally there's a person named like something McGee's axe or something in fucking South Park it was like an alien old he's old guys leave him B he's a good dude I like him I like him

he says some things you're like you're so dated stuff where I'm like yeah you are dated Dickie McGee's X is such a funny fucking Starlet Will uh his snipers is hungry

uh Derek's long lost Chinese friend Ming, me guan rape you till you die, Billy. Me want kill you with me cook. And kick you in my see, man, Billy. Mi Guan leave you dead on the tracks. Bomboclop. The king of haphazard, last but not least, king of haphazard,

Derek, look up. They will die for U.S.O-A-D. System of a down. Search says the N-word in the course, like 50 seconds. Oh, yeah. well aware. Yeah, we all know. We've talked to the other show, I'm pretty sure. He does? They would die for you? Is that the clap he did with what you call it? I think so. I could be wrong. That's the only other time I know of him saying the N-word, but like if there's

another one, like whatever, he already said it. So, you know what I mean? That's true. Also, I, it's not a big deal. It's not like Shirley Temple. It's not like Shirley Temple. Animal crackers in my soup. Monkeys and rabbits. In-R-D-Loop. Monkeys and N-Words loop to loop is crazy. That would be crazy. Oh, this is interesting. Hold on. Wich slate 583. What is it? What do you finding? Why is that's so weird? P.Dady little

Kim Mason's system of it down? So this is actually something, this is something else actually. He's collabed with like hip hop artists on many a time. Like it's not new. Yeah, this is just I guess I didn't this. I never checked out this chef aid

album. And if, wait, maybe I did. It just, it was too on a fella. It was too... Game on a fella. This was just too fucking old that, like, whatever's on here, because I do remember a very specific song

on all that I think that might have been on that album, but I have to dig, I have to dive into that, you know. But yeah, there you go. Look that guy, look that up if you guys want to hear,

um, some more, um, inwards, I guess. He's very seasoned. System of announcing the N-word. System of the N-word.

The N-word. Edward. Edward. Edward, inward, inward. I don't think she Edward Dude You wanted to

I think before I shut down my social media That will be the last thing I do Just hard ar Fucking chop suey That's crazy It's the whole song Absolutely Nward

Edward and That shit would go so fucking viral It would be I would I kind of want to do that But not attached to my name Like just not attached to my name separate account separate everything

put that out. That'd be fun. He wouldn't say die. He would just say, GER! The King of Habazzard, the Pippini Bros, hoping that Hideo Kajima gets to voice in the last Smiling Friends episode, Don Gonson. The King of Habazard, gay thoughts, or son-daughter,

P.P. Britney Spears fan calls themselves a Britney Spearger's. Elipsis, I want to know, have you ever been gay, coming on gay lover of the hockey yowie sadman.gov John Strickland. My profile pick is an unedited still frame from an episode of the show. Oh, it's Kingston with the eyelids, I think.

Oh, nice. Damn, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, because that's your old background, I think. Yeah, man, I'm real good at making my eyelids go under each other. Some call it a talent. Some call it slow stroking. Yeah, I call it. Pog. Pog?

Damn, fucking curse. The first is a key, David. I like big beds and I cannot lie Swahili curse That's crazy Kingston humor would be like What if instead of fade to black by Vitalika It was fade to inward

Instead of killing himself He was Black He cuts off So I don't know what he says In wording himself again Pre-Raz The Bro Krogan experience

I bet bigoted little people Call us Biggers Maybe Yeah maybe I can see it Napster of puppets Kingston King of Habazard

King of Habazard Dda uh-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I think that was probably one of the first, like, like the, I think that was so obvious. You know what I mean? As soon as you knew that word, that was one of the first instances I used it in. If you know that word and, you know, rhymes, the ingredients are right there. It's not a rare material.

It's not a rare material. I remember saying that when I was like, it's a backboard. 11 years old because Inspector Gadget was still airing on, you know, they would reruns. they were still putting it on TV so of course I would um that was good stuff and then go you're all wrong and gay

ban ban ban ban ban ban bad good stuff monkey monk the king of haphazard a full round and find out young suen's dad king of haphazard calling three days late for his bidet and asking for money

nice my dad's not that bad he's not good though he's not good but he's not that'd be awesome Tourette's people walking like a what Tourette's people walking in gagged up like Voldo.

That's crazy. Guess who that was? Of course it's Jordan. Pete, yeah. Pete Hegseth, the kind of guy to say Skyron belongs to the Nords, then have a secret Thalmore girlfriend. Yep. Dick so dirty, you can smell me driving down your street. Did the, that is fucking crazy. It reeks.

Ew. That's such a disappointing life. It reeks. It rinks. You got clothes on. inside a fucking car. Windows closed. Windows are closed.

That's crazy. You smell it underwater, dude. You're in the pool and you can smell it. I love that. I love that fucking married with children shit, you said. That was so funny. I've got to find that clip. That would be a good clip to post.

That is a good one. That is a pretty good clip. I can't remember what episode that would even be from this. Definitely like a, was that on one hundredths or like? No, we were in the studio. So you said that while we were in person, I think.

I'm positive. I remember that. at least. So within the last two years, at least. Okay. Did the math? This podcast is 1,013 hours, 16 minutes and eight seconds. Kratos picking up Mimir and kissing him for nine minutes.

Go ahead, Derek Chauvin. This dick is, does dick your ass? The King of Hab Hazard. King Dad honored at the State of the Union. Can you imagine? King Dad shows up. We brought the illustrious king dad. We're going to give him the President.

Medal of Freedom. Come up Kingston, Stan. Come up Kingston, Stan. Oh, thank you so much. I almost forgot his voice. Oh, thank you, President. Thank you so. I love you more than my own son. Oh, thank you.

Doesn't bother me at all. That'd be like, I'm cool. Look at me now, son. I bet you're jealous. Aren't you jealous of me, son? I'm like, no. I don't like you. He throws the trophy at the, at the camera. it comes out your TV

and hits you have to dodge it what the fuck is going on don't you dodge that son don't you love me to get son I watched you I watched you I watched you died I taught you how to dodge wrong on purpose for moments like these

he did to dodge remember when I said remember what I said try to place your ball where you trying to place your head where you think the ball will be remember remember all those lessons my dad sucks but he's not that bad He does suck, though. I love the idea.

Like, ever since, ever since Kung Pao, I've always found the idea of, like, training somebody completely and correctly on purpose to be hysteria. Like, raising your kid to just be, like, afraid of, like, water and, like, just had a, like, yeah, you're going to want to get in the way of cars when they're passing by. Everything. I guess you can't, you can only survive so long, I guess, if that's what you're taught, though. anyway Sweene showing the podcast a live leak video

but it's just gay porn of him getting kissed by black men over and over there's nothing there's nothing to gay about getting kissed by black man dude that would be crazy

if you if you if we showed up in person to the studio one day and you said hey look at this you turn the phone over and it's just a video of you kissing somebody and like video of you

kissing another guy naked in a bed and just and if you made eye contact with you I'm not even exaggerating with you I don't think I could be friends you. Really? That's all it takes? Yeah. Because like, because I

just, because like the idea that you would the idea that would even cross, first of all, that you would do that and you would keep it a secret and come forward like that instead of just telling me I had a gay experience. No, here's the evidence that I said. Here's the ring camera. Why does it seem crazy? Like, if

he was just like, like, just fucking some dude like, violently, like hard, versus him sensually laying in a bed and just making out Dude is just crazier. You guys are so weird, man. It's so much more intimate than just having sex.

If I found out you guys were gay, I'd be like, yeah, whatever, I don't care. No, that's not what that's not what's happening here. Finding out you're gay is one thing. If Kakeson, if I said, if I didn't even say I was gay, I was like Kakeson, hey, look at this video. I was going to show you like a, like, I don't know, like an AI generated like M&M saying some dumb shit. And it was a video of me busting on the chest of a hairy, fat man who looks like Stavros I don't I don't

think like I don't think you just walk away I don't think you just walk away from that like I absolutely would I'd be like yo that's crazy Chris and I would just walk I would just I would just mind my business I'm like that's crazy Chris and I would just mind my business You're talking so much shit right now I'm not

I'm not chatting shit right now I would just be like that's crazy Chris and I would just go on about business I'm like this is not my problem I can't get involved with this got to keep my got to keep my center I got to focus on What's that you drove? The power of the come. I have my doctor octopus stressed all.

My doctor's stress doll. I squeeze. I squeeze this Dr. Octopus when I'm stressed. Oh, stop squeezing me. Ow, I'm German. I'm German. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. Got fire from the calendar factory for telling my boss.

His days were numbered. Such a fucking dad joke. Stupid. Damn. Peasant scram. Ethereum has the past. because he took Colossus's heart ass. Progerian Hunter is having a child.

Triple H in Rockface, Nafim. And rounding on our list, as always, for real this time, for real, the king of haphazard, the official real king of haphazard.

God bless. Much appreciated to him and all of you. Everyone else in that audience. I feel dedicated. Remember to go, is that? Over masturbation. Okay, I thought so.

the uh thanks for showing up thanks for watching thanks for listening thanks for contributing thanks for doing all that remember patreon dot com slash the star tank go over there early ad free access uh early episodes exclusive episodes all of that jazz we'll see you next time for episode 399 point something else something else i forgot about racist bonfire what is that what is that what is that what is charles gambino there's a racist bonfire version.