The Snark Tank - #402: Doctor Trump Christ

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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I'm really sick. My hair fell out. What do you got? I don't know. Gay. Blased by the great Chris Racon, Derriton, Sweeney. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast.

It's me. Derek's dead. It's him, sweetie. Finally, one of us died. I guess more pay. Not finally, like, isn't the celebration. It's just like, you know, oh, oh, it happened. You know, the inevitable occurred.

Finally isn't really the way you would say that. Really? You wouldn't say, finally. the Twin Towers came down? I was like, oh, wow, the Twin Towers fell down. Oh, wow, it was kind of a finally. Not really. Yeah.

Finally means it was anticipation. Well, it's not necessarily that there's anticipation. It's that it is what the end of all things will be. It's like, finally, I'm sick. More like it looks like, ah, looks like I'm sick. Like that's more like accepting and acknowledging it was, you know. Right. Finally, I'm sick.

No, finally it's like anticipation. It's like you are waiting for it to happen. So it finally happened. Is that implied? Quite literally, yes. Well, finally, Derek died. Patreon.com, that's a StarTang. Remember you can go over there. You can ask your questions into the show. You can write in at a certain tier.

You can get access to our call-in voicemail number for a certain tier. You can get your name right at the end of the show for a certain tier. And you can get all of them for a certain tier. Whoa! Isn't that crazy? We all know how this shit works. Yeah. I shouldn't have to explain basic I don't be like that.

I think that's not basic. It's pretty, it's fairly basic. The concept of a subscription service. It's basic now, yes. I mean, it's been basic for a while now. Yeah.

It's been basic for quite some time now. It's been happening for quite some time. So nothing really happened other than, I don't know, there's news for me. You know, that's a thing. Hmm. Yeah.

Indeed. Is that, do we want to put that out? Not a big deal. I mean, it's happening. Unless I... But this might go live before the... This might go for patrons anyway before that. I don't think so.

Have they found out, is that a big of a deal? Because what are you going to do? Well, I don't know. That's kind of the thing. I don't know. Whatever, I'll edit it out. I'm editing it now. You sure?

It's not a big deal. I don't think it's that big video. I'm just going to air on the same side. All right, I guess. So nothing's happening at all. Nothing's happening at all. Nothing at all. Nothing even slightly.

There's quartering news. It's a lot of courting news Have you looked up Any of it? I saw that a lot of people Were just like Yo dude chill my nigga Like calm down

A lot of a lot of shit people do Which is crazy They were like shit heads Being like yo man You're going you're going too far Yeah that's crazy Like it's It was like

The Axis of Evil Like even Andy Worski Who was a hyper Pitch of shit for a period of time It was like hey bro Cool it Relax buddy You're like cool it man

You're doing Relax for just a fucking moment You're doing too much just because you're a homie that you're, because you're a homie that you watch fuck your wife is getting made fun of. Maybe you shouldn't go nuclear on the internet. That shit is so crazy, dude.

How are, I guess. Defending, look, look, let's, let's not kinkshame, right?

That's, let's, let's do the groundwork, right? As a, progressive man myself, I understand that people's desires are not all, mine are not theirs and theirs are not mine.

So I have to respect them existing. You don't have to respect. I mean, I have to respect. them existing. You can acknowledge that they exist. As long as they are not harmful to anyone and it's agreed upon by the partners, it is fine. But defending the man that fucks your wife is absurd to my brain. That is insane to me. It is fucking crazy. Don't be mean to him. He fucks my wife. That's fucking nuts. Did he say

that? No, but you know, it's very, he's a bull. So you assume you apply. It's very safe to assume that guy was. A lot of this is a legend. You know, it should be noted. Crazy. The guy that's stirring your wife guts, you're out here fucking playing Paladin for. Blocking shit for him. Yeah, I don't,

uh, I don't know, man. I don't know. I kind of didn't look too deeply into it because I wanted Derek to be here, but he tragically died. Um,

so, you know, that didn't work out. It's really insane. It is insane. It's a lot of his, it's funny when it happens to these people. You know what I mean?

Because it's like they traffic in this. kind of stuff. Like if this information had come out about somebody that the quartering doesn't like, he would be doing, he would be doing the same thing. He'd be,

oh, what a cuck. What a cuck. It doesn't matter if there's only like, like, like vague hints of evidence of it. You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, he's a cuck,

bug it, you know? So like it's just kind of, it's, what is it, carmic? Yeah, carmic recalrication. Reciplication?

I don't know. Whatever. Something like that. It's carmic. Something. It's something magical. It's something in a cosmic sort of way, you know? In a cosmic, it's something mystical.

He's doing a little puppet dance around the cordering. I think bad things do happen to bad people eventually, but it takes them a while. I don't know if it really does. I think it happens to bad people who are stupid. I think most bad people are stupid, though. I don't think so. I think unfortunately there's a lot of bad people who are very smart. I don't think so.

I think they're just willing to do shit that's a little more fucked up, but I don't think they make some smart. I don't think that's what makes them smart. I don't think that's what makes them smart. I think they happen to be smart. You know what? You know what I mean? It's like, because the worst people are people you definitely don't know about. Yes.

You know what I'm saying? And they're smart for that because they just exist. And they're just hanging around. It's like Bill Cosby running around being like, oh, we don't know what and blah. Meanwhile, I was like, you know, he's casting, you know, sleep. Captain Quailout on people. Captain Quail. I think what happens is that, like, I think a lot of people aren't bad.

I think most people aren't bad. And I think what happens is that a lot of bad people try being bad and they don't get consequences from me. Because they're like, oh, no, most people don't. do you like this. Sure. And I think that's what it turns is. I don't think they're smarter. I'm just like, why not? I'm not saying they're smarter because they do it. You don't have to pull to do something bad. We're like, oh, let's not do it. What I'm saying is like a person of average intelligence, average. Could be pretty bad. Well, average is probably not a good way to say it anymore.

Maybe in the 2000s or like 1999, maybe average intelligence meant something different than it does now. Because now average intelligence is very, it's quite bad. But I don't think average. Ah, probably. Average is bad. The majority voted for this. for Trump. So yeah, I guess the average. Yeah. Average. Or just didn't. Yeah. So, you know. So when your kids go, your kids go to war, because you know, the mandatory sign-up thing is actually probably going to happen. So when your kids are sent to war to die for no reason, remember the people that voted for this?

Remember the people that voted for Trump and did not vote against Trump? Ha-ha-ha. Isn't it? How awesome is it? Especially in the swing states, bro. You fucked everybody. Because guess what? We're out of the age. now to be taken. So I get to laugh at you all I want. No, we're not. We're to be drafted. To be enlisted, we can enlist. Oh, that's right. That's right. Right. We cannot be drafted any longer. No, we can be drafted. Also, we're both military. Oh, that, well, we can't. Yeah, we're

I can't be drafted. And I'm the grandchild. Because the government already put Asian orange all over my dad. So, like, they probably can't ask for me. My granddad killed a little Asian kids already, so I'm good. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I'm fine. Those are a bunch of kids who never got to make shoes. Hey, man. They got out, they went out cool, though. I hope I could build a Nike one day.

They were like, they got to have like fucking, have cover shooter moments instead of building shoes. Quick time. Which is better, which is better, you know?

It's debatable, you know? I think one is better, but I don't want to admit that one is better, you know? The age, I think,

was raised to 42 or something. Yeah, that's a, that's how you can enrolls, though. I'm pretty sure as the enrollment date. Maybe.

But I don't have to care. I'm so happy. Yeah, I don't, I can't, Well, first of all, here's the thing about that. If I went, also, it's got to be bad. Here's the thing, right?

Here's the thing about that. If they ever asked me to go to war, I simply wouldn't. Like, straight up. Like, I can't think of, what an easy laid-back crime to commit to dodge the draft, especially in an era where, like, the overwhelming, this isn't World War II, you know? Yeah. Like, you ain't, you're not going to convince. You're not going to draft people

It's not even nom Yeah Even nom was like really terrible Like You're not going to convince The majority of people to be like Yeah I'm not going to dodge the draft Most people are going to see that

And they're going to be like No Well nom was come get me Like what do you mean The thing about nom is that They lied to us a lot And then there were the people that were like That were somehow like globally involved

They were like this is a bad idea Yeah And then we went there And everybody was like This is fucking absurd Don't come here Yeah That was it.

But the thing about it is that it was like a new kind of thing. It was a new war, you know, and it? It wasn't like a, this is a rehash. So not only is it like uninteresting because it's the same thing again. Most people feel like we've been there this entire time anyway.

So it's like, what, we're going to draft us now? No. That's crazy. Imagine ripping up a nuclear deal for no reason. That was crazy. Even if they weren't buying by it, which they probably weren't.

I just don't believe that like, yeah, I mean, ultimately. I don't believe a country in a modern world. world, especially now, what doesn't say any sort of non-nuclear deals because of the fact that America is so volatile. So I'd be like, I'd be like, no, like, even though like, I think ultimate nuclear weapons are just the dumbest decision to have ever, I understand why idiots can think they should exist. It's not that they think they should exist.

It's that they think they should have them to deter people who do have them. But that's still so moronic. Because it's a zero, it's a zero sum gain, period, when one of them is shot off. So it's like it's ultimately the dumbest thing ever. There should be some sort of thing of getting rid of all the much there was for a period of time. And then the world kind of stopped doing it. They were like, ah, whatever. Yeah.

I mean, I understand why a nation would want one. I understand why they would stupidly want one. Because I think it's just dumb for those weapons to exist. Sure. Because they're just, they're not like, they're not like having a gun. So someone breaks someone who can defend yourself. It's like having a gun. having a missile

that will blow up your city block that your other friends you know other people got missiles too right and if you splash damage then they'll be like well I gotta do so now this guy's shooting I'm shooting too yeah the thing about the thing I don't know the thing about the orandia is that like it's it you know I'm sure they were doing some shit right of course

there's no like there's no because why wouldn't you like it's like this is ultimately the problem with a lot of rules right Why not break them? Why not break them? Why not break them when you're being told not to bring them by assholes? Whatever we were doing was working a lot better than whatever the fuck this is. It wasn't a war. Yeah, it wasn't a war.

I love it, man. I love it, man. Shout out Americans. We really, really suck. We proved we sucked a lot. But the last like the last four or five years has been impressive. Yeah. Game record numbers, man.

Indeed. I hate Europe and I think they're doing better than we are now And I hate that place Do you think that's true? And then doing better than us So do you know Socially 100% Isn't there like a whole like anti-Muslim thing going on over there?

Yeah Guess what that's happening also here Yeah I don't know because it's like smaller I think I feel like it's more like concentrated Islamophobia is still very much so here Because a Muslim got elected somewhere And the country lost its mind

Yeah Not the Not really the most of the country It's like a bit of the country I don't think it's I don't really see it that much It's a bit of the country It's not it's not

That's how it's it exists here But it's underseated It's used as like a button They're like oh Muslims doing something You're Muslim now Remember that 9-11 I remember 9-11?

For us right now It's that we're having the same problem But we're having a problem with Hispanic people What Because they're We never did a 9-11 No but they hate

They hate us Why? We never did a line to 9-11. No, we just existed in the same place of them. That's kind of mean? You don't say. I don't know. That's kind of crazy. We didn't even do we didn't have a 9-11. We didn't have a 9-11. I mean, look at, look at, they at least have a 9-11. I can understand why I'm gonna be that, you know? No, because that's a people, as a person, not a people. Sure, but like trauma is born from dumb shit like that. You know what I mean? We didn't do shit. I think trauma's born. We had, we had Mark Anthony. That's all we did.

I mean, what to call us, performed pretty low. Who? I'm Mark Anthony guitar Guitar Oh Santana Yeah he's falling pretty low Who's that?

Oh damn really You you You change upon him That bad What do you mean I love Carlson Tennis music That's it Whatever he's what 80

Yeah He's also he's also Mexican Is he really Oh no wonder No They're not the obvious switchups They are They're becoming

They're ranked two They're ranked two for the foot jobs. Look. We're saying, okay, we're saying this as both Hispanic men who grew up in predominantly Hispanic areas. What's going to understand that? Caribbean, we're Caribbean, though. We are legal. Yes.

We are legal here. Yeah. And we have the best island. But don't call the hard water people at us. That's crazy physical waters. And then in those physical water, that'd be a little cooler. I wouldn't join up. It would be cooler.

Physical waters is crazy. You would join I was called physical water. I literally just said I wouldn't join. You just said it. Roll the tape back. Guys, guys, guys. I said I would join. Physical waters is an interesting name.

Not that I would join them, but it's an interesting name being called physical waters. Don't edit that to say it. Physical waters. I'm the editor now. Don't do that. I'm the editor now. Physical waters would be, it would be more interesting. Yeah.

But the change-up Latinos are the Cubans. Those are the ones that are always backsliding. They're the ones that are always shooting us in the backs. It's like, please stop. Sure, that's true. In America, at least. I just think with the homophobia stuff, it's a little bit more Mexican. With Novi Bed, it's time to take a spin with the future of online casinos.

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they're all like that, though. No, because Mexicans have like a, you know what I, like they have like a... I think they're all like that, man. I understand what you're saying.

I just don't, I feel like I've seen it significantly less in that community. I'm around a particularly good... Like the most famous Mexicans are not like... I've been around a lot of very good Mexicans. So most of them I have known have not been actively,

actively homophobic. Actively homophobic. That's the thing. Sure. I have not seen many. famous gay Mexicans. Right. Because they've all been eaten by the rest of them.

I don't know. I'm Jamaican. I can't talk. That's a different thing entirely. Yeah. Being gay in Jamaica is actively a sin to them. Yeah. It's like, it's a problem.

They'll like, what do they got like fucking. They'll try to purify you. Yeah. They'll put you in a cauldron. And they'll kill you with no curry you and eat you afterwards. That's great. Well, listen, we only kind of touched a little bit on the quartering stuff. I don't know.

Let's wait. I want to wait for Derek to really. He resurrects. Yeah, when he re-erex himself. I want him to, because I know for a fact he's following this. I don't know half this shit, man. I'm not following. We have a lot of friends who are terminally online.

We're not local people, man. Yeah, it's over. Like, I'm kind of, like, after I hit 30, I was like, ah. I thought you never really were a local person. Well, no, but I was at, I was aware, at least. There was at least like, you know what it is? there was more legitimacy around the community that was paying attention to that stuff. Like you would have like somewhat semi-serious people talk about these things.

Like Philip DeFranco used to talk about this kind of thing. Yeah, you know? And now he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

war, you know, and it's like, yeah, I guess. And it is just kind of like, I don't know, who gives a shit really?

But the quartering is a funny one. And I want, I know he's going to have a lot more information. I know he's a lot more familiar with the, uh, Kino Casino people People think I'm like playing dumb by the way People think it's like oh you don't remember you don't know these things

I'm like I swear to you We were actively finding out about together We were like huh Yeah Completely puzzled When people are like befuddled at the amount of movies I've seen Think about that but with internet culture also I don't know these people

What have you mostly absorbing your life Like what is the thing you really like sat down and like Absorbed a ton of it? The video game industry Okay I know a lot about the games industry That is your at this point That's my focal point

Okay that makes sense And like some politics, like real politics. But like, you know, like Ross Perrault and shit and shit like that. Oh, so you know about like actually like like political movement more than like politics the buzzword. Right. I'm not, I'm not following like BuzzFeed politics. Okay, gotcha. That makes sense.

Not anymore. Not really. It's not as interesting. It's not weird. That's the thing too. It's like this stuff used to be like somewhat, um, I don't know what the word would be. Novel. Because it was, it was a fairly new thing that you would have like.

lull cow type people in like in like serious political space but that's been a thing for like a while now so i can have a cod joined ucip like fucking like what like a damn near decade ago or something like that's insane so like this is this has been stupid in a boring way for a while for me so like i just don't i'm not clued into it as much but every now and then every now and then a bull shows up and it is entertaining you know crazy you got to he wants to nuke everyone that's making fun of a guy that

fucks up people's wives. That's crazy. That's crazy to me. What if he's his manager or something? You manage managing the person who fucks your wife? On purpose? Imagine you gotta give it. You give him the towel he gives his wife.

Yeah. That's absurd. He's like the man in the chair in like a con in like two senses. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a double fault. Like he's the man in the chair that gets shit done and is also like, hey. Have you seen all the cuck poses?

What? Like various cuck poses? No. There's like a roller decks of people giving off like cuck poses. Ain't other one of the phone like when he said his legs really wide. He's like leaning forward. Like he's like observing. Yeah, that's one of them.

And I'm like this is. That's, I've not seen that at all. If you look into it, I'm, you're going to be tickled pink. Dude, the internet, the thing that I'm really focused on right now in the internet is like, and maybe you guys, maybe some people in the audience know this. Maybe they don't. There's this black dude on, on Instagram. Oh my God.

There's this black dude on Instagram who like, I can't even explain necessarily what he does like, I guess, Muckbang dancing content where he'll like, he'll order a shit ton of food. He's a really hypermuscular guy. He's a brolic black man. He looks, he literally looks like Broly. Like he looks like a character from DBZ actually. He looks fucking ridiculous. I don't know what his name is.

I've only seen content from people. Other black people will be like, I hate this guy. I can't stand this motherfucker. I. Ain't this nigga. He orders a bunch of food. He jumps up. Does these fucking stupid wiggly horsey dances.

He's way too nimble for some of the size. It's upsetting. It's upsetting. But like I've seen videos, he does these dance. He smiles. He eats. He jumps up. He walks behind the camera follows him this whole time.

There's music playing probably in some of them. And he just does fucking annoying dances. It looks, all the videos that I've seen of this guy aren't even his channel. It's like other black people being like, this is a fucking minstrel show. What the fuck is this guy doing? You're looking silly on purpose. How do you not have money saved? Have you seen the videos?

I've been saying. Dude, the commentary is hysterical. There's one that is so quick and so angry. That is like he, it's one of the way he takes a bite of something. He's like, I hate this N-word.

Drops the hard art crazy. The video ends. And I'm like, this is powerful. There's one guy who's like, he was like, I hate, this is.

diabolical and it fucking kill me he's like I'm not hating I hate this I don't know what has been my my current internet niche I don't know

I feel like That's been mine It's always the same thing No it's another one But it's usually people hurting themselves No that's a classic That's a classic Because we're fucking

My favorite thing is workouts up now Right now I saw a guy doing like a deadlift And his his his peck fucking shifted to the middle of his chest I was like, yo, you're stupid. There was one I was watching where a guy, this has to be fake. He's like benching something,

and it's like four plates and it falls on his chest. And I'm like, this is fake because if this wasn't fake, that would be a murder. You would have murdered that person. They would have died. But there's another one, this black guy. It's a lot of black person content going on in our sphere. Yeah.

But it's one of this black guy does cosplays of like various characters. and things. The Pinocchio, man? He did the Pinocchio and the Squidward one. The Squidward one, I had to go to bed after I saw that one because it was really insane. I thoroughly hated it. And guess what? If you're curious about what we're talking about, it's on the screen.

Whoa. It's, it's, there's a lot of really shitty content going on right now. Yeah. It's really funny. A lot of it is quite funny. And I need that. I need that kind of stuff. It is good.

So I don't think about war all the time. Yeah. It's a better way to spend time. That Pinocchio thing fucking bothers the hell out of it. That one is bothers some, man. It's really like... It felt hyper-obscenely racist. It felt like, it felt like damagingly like, whoa.

It felt to me a little bit like, because he's got like a fucking Yakub head on. It, the whole thing is really upset. But like it gave me the feeling that I would imagine like an Aztec death whistle used to give people like back when that was used like it felt like

deeply unnerving I'm gonna say something that I know it's really problematic well it made me feel like if that's what white people saw when they first saw us

I get it you know I get it it's like oh that is other chain it up chain it up chain it up is a crazy response

Like, we got a corral this. Right. Because if it spreads and it taints our blood, we're cooked. Well, even that's a bad argument because they spread it. They did. You know, they kind of took it. They took it. And they put on a boat, put it in a place where they were not accolated to it all.

And set it free, in quotes. You know, they used to try to like, they would take the Native Americans, tell them to go out and find lands with them and come back and report what they found. of America's like, you serious? You don't know about that? I think that's so stupid.

It's unbelievable. Of course. It's like humans. We're not, we're not smarter than they were like actually, like fundamentally.

Yeah. Like our brains aren't like different brains. This is why it blows my mind that people are like, I know what, I know what God would think of this. So it's such a crazy

fucking thing to me. If it was like a higher dimensional creature, it's like dog, a dog can't understand we're doing. Yeah. It's insane.

It's like, it's a bad example because comic books stupid. But it would be like Peter Parker being like, Stanley would want me to do this. You know? Like, what do you mean? It's not even, I feel like it's, you think you

I think Stanley would have a problem with me being gay. So I'm not going to be gay. But you're gay. Which means Stanley made you gay. So you're supposed to be gay. So you're supposed to be fucking gay. You fucking you ever think about that? We were like, oh man, I hate

he's being gay's bad. And it's like, God made people and he made you the way you are. So he knows you're likely going to be gay. It's got to. Even if it's a choice for you to be gay, he knew you were going to make that choice. Right. So he made you to just be gay and go to hell eventually? God made.

Just put me in hell. God made me very agnostic on purpose because he doesn't like you. He wants you to feel frustrated that I'm agnostic and I don't believe what you believe. That's what he wants out of you. The feeling that you're getting right now is on purpose. I didn't do this. God did this. God is doing this to you. Sorry.

God is, God just chained you up and bashed your kneecaps in. I didn't do that. God cut your knees open and pissed in the wounds. God did this. I'm just, I'm, I'm a tool. I'm an implement. I'm a tool. I'm a vessel for his will.

I think it's a fair argument. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's something. It's a case. It's a case. Fair. I don't know, man. What's fair? I don't know.

Like, what, 275 now? What? You fucking bitch. I don't think it's a cat fair. What cab are you taking? Across the street. Let me get at this cab real quick. He's like, where to?

Right here. You point at it? I kind of want to do that one day. No, you don't. It's not back home. They're going to freak out. No. It's not.

The Middle Eastern, African, or diabolically Hispanic person is going to freak out at you. Diabolical! Yeah, probably, you're right. Let's, I don't know, I'm sure there's stuff going on in the news. I just don't care enough. Does anything happen any games on the way out? With Novi Bed, it's time to take a spin with the future of online casinos. Unlock a world of entertainment with the best value and highest RTP in the industry on all.

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and play your way. Novi Bet. More power to you. That pragmatic game is coming out. Oh, I heard about that. And there's also, I'm re-re-re-re-constituted, revived or something like that. Returnal?

Returned? some sort of rega... I don't know. There's that mouse game that first-person shooter that's... I think it'll be live by the time people are hearing this.

Oh, but you pay as a mouse? Yeah. That was majestic for you to hear. That was like, that was enchanted by that. It's a first person... It's like a rubber hose 1930s like cuphead style anime.

Oh, yes, I heard about that. So that one's like, that's got mixed reviews, but I'm curious about it. But, ah, nothing really. You know they're teasing me with, man? the Castlevania game. Went that out again?

No date yet. It's middle of this year, though. You have to imagine, right? Like summer, August, latest. I feel like they're not going to release anything around GTA time. I feel like that's going to be like a... That would be smart. That's going to be like a quiet time.

We're going to get the Silk Song D.O.C. And all that shit before that so people can play it and be like, oh, that was really awesome. Hopefully I remember it while I'm absorbing way too much porn in GTA. Yeah. There's going to be a Gears 30-minute demo. When? I don't know. Oh, for D-Day?

For E-Day, yeah. So I'm curious about that. I don't know. I like the more recent years of war games, too. I don't love them as much as the old ones, but if it's Marcus and Dom again, I'm, you know. I'm kind of inherently, it's kind of a cheat code. It's a little unfair, you know? It's not quite like Master Chief because we've been spoiled with Master Chief.

So it's like, seeing Master's Again does nothing for me. But like, Marcus and Domigan is like, yeah, I miss them. What if he's like, I'm Master Chief from Halo 3, explicitly. That would be so fucking irritating to me. What if he says that, he was like, I'm Halo 3 Master Chief. Oh, yay. Great. Or if he talks and the caption says in Halo 3 Master Chief. Shut the fuck

up. That's garbage. Or Johnson's like, Halo 3, he's dead. Yeah. But he's like, do you remember the teaser trailer for your E-Day? Yeah, it was good. It was good. I'm going to say, should I say this? I don't know. I don't know if I should say this. Cut it out if it's too bad. I

So Dom Yeah What do you think I'm going to say? I don't know I'm confused They both I guess they both look younger It's fine I think he looks a little weird

Dom looks a little weird They did make him look a little bit more I guess Stereotypically Hispanic He's a Mexican right Well are there Mexicans there Well you know No

But that's the default They're gonna go to Mexico Yeah they're gear Mexicans Or dear Caribbean or Gear Caribbean, I don't know. But, like, he looks, because now he looks like people I've related to. Whereas before he was, like, kind of like an abstract person. Like, Marcus Phoenix, he's, like, white, but, like, you know what I mean?

Like, he didn't feel like a white person to be. I don't know. What is what do you mean? Like, he felt like a fake white. What is a real white person? Because it's not Earth, you know? What is a real white person to you? I don't know, man, like, fucking Polish.

Do you think Garo O'Rovia is a white person? Yeah. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, not. No. Well, no, because he's a- The moment, the moment he has a culture. The moment he has a culture, he's not a white person to you. You're bringing like, oh, you're distinct.

You're not white. Well, no. Yes. No. You're saying that. No, because, like, there's, how do I explain this? There's, Gears is, like, base on Earth, but it isn't, right? Yeah.

Even, like, a Thai. Okay. Right? Who was, like, clearly, like, native, native, right? Or, like, uh. He's a Hawaiian, right? He's like, the other one. He's like, uh, what's the other one?

he's like, uh, what's like, what's like, what's like, What's the rock? Polynesian? He's like Polynesian type, right? But Polynesia is not real in gears. What if it was? It's not a big deal. Like, I'm just saying it's like, it's weird because like now I'm like directly connected to one of them.

Now you care? Well, now you're getting represented and you feel weird about being represented. Well, I don't want it. You feel weird because you're like, I don't want representation for years. And now you're like, wait. I'm kind of, I'm kind of represent. Oh my God. That's my cousin effectively out there now.

I'm attached to old Dom also. So it's like a weird mix of like, why they make him more Hispanic? Yes. I know, but like, ah. He doesn't have been gone for a long time in the series. That's true. A long time. I do like the older.

I like how he looked. He's been gone for like 15 years, right? Yeah. Right. Damn. Yeah, but now he looks completely. It's kind of like what they did. They did the same thing with Johnson also in the Halo, the Hilo, the Halo remakes where they're just like, that's just some guy off the street.

Like, Sergeant Johnson, like, looks fairly distinct. so the fact that they just got like a random black guy instead of just he that distinct really he's i think he's pretty fucking distinct he's like a very like he's like the typical like i've been the military a long time like it's like my grandpa sort of he's got something in the face that's very distinct i think like if you saw it you'd be like that's johnson like a black military man but like but right but like in the remakes they they they it's like they went more with like what his direct inspiration was okay you know what i mean like whereas like Like, oh, he's the black military sergeant from like the 80s sci-fi movies.

Okay. Whereas he's more like that now than he was in the game, even though in the game he's based on that. It's weird. What's weird to me is that I feel like, I don't remember. I feel like I only think about polygons when I think about Johnson. That's fair. He's very low poly. I was like, this is a, this is a, this is a, this is like, shapes as a black person.

I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. Remember the shapies? What the fuck have you just said to me? The shapies. The toy box man. The shapies from the music land. the Shapes.

La la la la la. The Shapies. Yo, he's hallucinating. The toy box, man. I don't know what I have no. Shapees right now. You're going to be, you're going to be,

you're either going to be terrified or excited. What am I looking up? The Shapes. Like veggie tails with shapes. Are you serious? Swear to God. I watch it on PBS. The Shapes.

What the fuck is this? It's dog shit. The Shapes. It's dog shit. It's dog shit. I, so I dislike that greatly. The Shapes fucking suck. Yeah, why'd you remind, why'd you show this to me?

Because I was like, two seasons. Yeah, I watched every episode three times. Well. I was absorbing. I don't know how, I don't know how I watched so much TV when I was younger. Yeah. It is kind of a startling. Like how much?

It's like, now I feel like the day just disappears. Yeah, it really fucking goes away. It really just disappears. It fucking goes deeply away. Even here, I'm like, what the fuck? Even times are like, oh, when I was younger, when I was bored, it would take forever. The forever for bored is different now. It's like, oh, it was like an hour?

No, it was seven. You didn't feed your nephew once. No. I mean, who would? He's laying on the ground in hunger pains. And I'm like, holy shit, dude. You all right? He's visibly, visibly lighter.

Both in pigment and weight. Damn, dude. Over the younger one, the younger one's two likes in already, man. That's crazy. I mean, nothing is anything wrong with. I got to stop saying shit like that. We're going to read some of our,

we're going to read some of our, um, we're going to read some questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank. We want to save the quartering stuff for when Derek's here. So we're, we're going to, we'll do a deep dive. Your glasses are okay.

No, no. You fucked up not getting the, uh, the, uh, The bridge supports or whatever the fuck they're called. I hate those style. I remember I was like my first pair of glasses I got or something like that. Or not first pair of glasses I got.

It was the first adult pair of glasses I got on my own. Because I was like, I guess I'll do something different. Like these are adult glasses, right? And it's just like, no, it's kind of the opposite. It's like 3D glasses, you know? It's like this is deeply unsurious. What?

Yes. You don't agree? Just glasses, man. What you have right now is like... Okay, let's hear it. I don't know. It's like a car that kind of take a car with two wheels. What you got.

You know, it's not really efficient, I think, for what you're trying to use it for. So a buy a automobile? A bike. A car. A bicycle. A bike car. A bi mototobil. All right.

I'm going to read this fucking name. Sorry about that. I hate what you write for these. Hit us with some questions and stay safe in these streets and word. Is what you said. Yeah. All right. In these streets,

to stay safe. Not a... Okay, Tomri Epsween woden. Oh, nice. They're just trying to fuse me with that monster. That's crazy. Not a question,

but please show Sween the picture of that IDF soldier from Leaspresso magazine. Israel said the picture was AI-generated anti-Semitism. The jokes write themselves. I don't know anything about this. Do you know this?

I don't focus on Israel. It's true. We should all do the same. Yeah, our money should too. Our country, our continent. Our countries will be like, hey, let's leave them alone. I genuinely don't know.

I'm going to, I'm going to look it up. If it's uninteresting, though, I'm not going to put it in the show. Just straight up. There's some hot chick, I guess. IDF soldiers. Because they've done that. That's happened. They've been, like, using hot women to, like, fucking.

Trying to get people on IDF. Yeah. This is nuts. I get it, yeah. I get it. Younger me would have been like, I'm, I'm not. I ain't doing nothing right now. They do select well when they do those things.

Yeah, man. Some of those videos like that's crazy. Palestine, what? I wouldn't say that out. Jamie Jamie got that out IDF soldier La espresso

espresso I don't I don't know I genuinely I didn't even hear fucking an inkling of this shows Italian magazine La espresso took the images

What are people saying It just opened Facebook And I got so mad seeing that No No I'm sorry No it's over I'm not I'm not Did it just just

Okay IDF soldier Okay so So I That's crazy Look at that image dude It fell off the thing But look at that

That looks fucking crazy If that's real I do have to say that That looks like the fucking You know that That's the the old Like I'm talking like 2006

2007 ugly guy That would go around Like he was like a pre meme Like a proto meme And it was like a guy's fat face And he had like the big teeth And he had like the the stark eyes and the stringy hair.

Yeah. Like the pigtails or something. I know what you're talking about. Yes. Joe would know. You know? Joe is the kind of person who would share it. Joe would hoot and holler at it.

Look at that fucking. Look at that fucking ugly, idiot. He would probably say retard at the time. Maybe even now. I would say it now. But like, that's really disgusting.

No, I have not. I hadn't even seen that. So you guys are clued in a little bit more than I. Good old Israel, man. Who amongst us can say anything negative about Israel, really? Yeah. You know? Don't want to get labeled as a not friendly fella.

And not friendly fellow. That's what they, that's what. Don't want to die debating. All right. Let me see. Let me see. What is this? Trump blew up and touched kids, wrote in.

he got paper and it was like I know what I do I know what I'm gonna do next I have money now I think there's only one left to there's only one final frontier for me to explore Pedophilia It's fucking crazy Crazy that's real Tom flies and you pedify man It does

He says hey boys I hope you're doing well and was wondering if you knew Sneco got a shit rock Yes You saw that? I did see that I forgot that I saw it because I care so little But I did see it I wish I'd crumpled him Like he immediately folded? Yeah.

That would have been great. So with that now happening and firebombing warehouses being all the rage, that's also something that's happening. Going nuts. That guy, that guy who burned down was in Ontario or something? Yeah, life. Life in prison. Well. Life in prison.

It is. Look. No. It's not life in prison. No. That's crazy to do in California. It's crazy. Because you could, you could kill thousands with that.

But. live in prison's crazy Live in prison is crazy Because he would he burned up like a toilet paper factory or something He destroyed over like like maybe like It's like 500 million dollars Yeah like millions Undoubtedly an overestimation on their end

Because they want that But Yeah so like people are sending Setting fires to warehouses And there's the video they're doing it It's like all you have to do is pay us enough to live man And it's like damn There's also the people putting freaking

No shit What you call it? It's like grout foam in toilets And it's destroying plumb of areas. That's insane. Does that work? No, it's,

I forgot what it's called. I think I know what you mean. I heard about that. But it's, it's nuts. That's like, hey. With that happening

and firebombing warehouses being all the rage, what other things need a good old fashion need a good old fashion to get to the point across of how much they messed up. Have a good day, guys. It's just going to keep happening, man.

Things aren't getting better. So, like, things like this are going to keep happening. Yeah, that's the problem. It's, I don't, I don't think the powers that be understand that people get really crazy when they're, when things are bad. Yeah. I just don't think they understand how bad. They haven't, they haven't seen it, really. They've not seen it.

I think they think that, like, they can curtail it, but it's like, eventually you can only burn so much before, like, the fire's in front of you. Yeah. You can put that, you can put, you can put so many things in front of your doorway. Eventually the fire gets to you. Right. And then when there's nothing else to blame, they are actively going to go after you. Yeah. Like if these, everything, everything just needs a good reset, you know, the second, dude, the second these boomers die and, and like the next generation takes charge, like, Israel is not.

The problem is this, right? Like, Israel is not. Oh, they're gone. Like, they, they, Israel depends really heavily on the really old people in our government to continue support, like genuinely. Like, there's no, our generation and below. like doesn't give it Israel. The moment

America's not helping them that country is gone. Yes. That country is gone. They've made enemies of everyone over in that part

of the world. They're cooked. And I don't think that is a good thing. But I think like, maybe, like,

because how do you stop now? Like, what do you do now? Yeah. Do you just keep, like, it's like,

it's just a fucking albatross. It's like, I just, it's just such a weight. It's such a fucking. Like, do you stop? Like, what do we do?

Is this vestigial country that... At a certain point, it's like Vader. Like, does Vader just stop killing people at a certain point? It's like, well, why? You've already done so many. Yeah. Like, you're gonna just stop now?

So you're a bitch? He's getting this kid. So you're a bitch. So you're saying I am bitch. So it's like, dude. Like, I don't agree with... Don't start doing bad shit. But like, once you've done bad shit for so long, it's like...

I'm not saying destroy Israel. What I'm saying is, God's chosen people like God figured out. It's not. I don't want to pay it. I don't want my taxes going over there. I just paid taxes. Fuck this.

That's going over there to just like to microwave a Palestinian child in an open fucking field. I don't give a shit about that. What the fuck? Give me health care. Or like at least a fucking better road. Jesus. You know? And we live a nice part of the country too.

Yeah. It's crazy. There's places that are. That's what's crazy about it to me. Crazy. Is that like I've seen like people like, oh man. Ha. You know, the blue states are so shit or whatever.

I was like, American General is like that. But I've seen videos just like towns There's just like there's like there's like there's like It's way more dilapidated than the worst place I've been over here I've like that is crazy I have seen that that's even possible because that over here is Unacceptably bad So for like an entire town

You know to be that way it's like ooh boy I have definitely seen people Talk shit about blue states and if you turn off the water And put a fire in it turned it to a stream of fire Yeah And it's like brother Yeah brother.

The reason you guys have a police is because we're paying for it literally. Yeah, they're welfare queens. They're not making money. I hate that phrase. I mean, it's true, though. I hate that phrase, but like... It's true, but it's a projection.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, oh, well, there are people who abuse welfare. That is a real thing. But, dude, like, that's you, dude. That's your entire fucking apparatus. That's all of Mississippi. You are one. You are that.

What do you mean? You think you got running water because you're fucking, you're worth it? Do you think you earned your running water? No, no, you exist and we give it to you. That's nuts. That's so fucked up. I know, I just wanted to say it. It's insane how freaking good off the, like the Northeast is.

Like that pocket because New York is like. Yeah, that can be completely self-sustaining, really. Like New York is, the city is overwhelmingly blue. Sure. And then you go to Westchester. and it's still bluish. And in the moment you get out of like Putnam, it starts getting crazy.

It gets put burglary in red. But like Boston, like fucking Connecticut, all of that shit is like Massachusetts. It's all like, very good. Yeah, they're nice places. And like very hyper-educated people.

And it's like, Jesus Christ. Dude, I have a, should I say that? I know people who are going to school around there right now who just,

I just got a text from one of them. It was just like, hey, my school is just closing. College. And I was like, what? What do you mean? Like mid-sevester? Like, what the fuck?

Is it mid-semester? Or is it about to be over? No, it's early semester. It ends May, right? I think spring break just started. I just ended. One of the two. Sure.

Yeah. I think it's mid-semester right now. Yeah. So there's places that are just like closing. It's like, whoa. Not great. Not fantastic. Whoa.

What happens, man. Hey, man. We voted for the right guy. It's cool. It's very cool. I think it's really awesome. Dude, that doctor shit was crazy. I still can't get,

did we talk about that on the show or have we not recorded since that happened? The Trump fucking Jesus thing is so insane to me. Not because I give a shit about him desecrate. Who cares? But like him being like, I thought that was me as a doctor. A Red Cross. A Red Cross. It's like, are you fucking.

And he really, like, listen, if you, if you were ever a Trump supporter, he believes you're that stupid. And you might be. But like, he believes that of you. And he's not ashamed of it. He thinks you, he thought you were going to believe that. Oh, he's a doctor with their famous glowing hands, flowing robes and demons emerging from the sky behind you. They're not demons when on his side. That's Baphimet, man.

That's in the sky. Because there's an original image where it's just normal angels. And so that was changed in the image that he posted. He didn't make that image. You sound like you sound, it's AI clearly. It's AI clearly. But you sound like one of the fucking, it's the fucking devil. There's devil worshippers.

I'm telling you in the original. Chris, do you hear you sound? I understand, but I'm saying in the original drawing that the thing is based on, like, that demon guy in the sky isn't there. I swear to you. It's great. Because I saw it and I was like, that's not true. That's ridiculous.

They're slipping demonic iconography and everything. Well, that's what's so crazy about it. Because I was like, I was like, there's no way they would do that. Like, that's so insane. That's such a dumb thing to believe. And then I saw it. I was like they really dead ass fucking edited a demon into this. Why did they do that?

AI is probably like, his nigga seems like a demonic motherfucker, I guess. He didn't enjoy this part. He didn't enjoy this. The AI was like, Trump is in this? There's got to be a demon nearby. The fucking AI did that.

It has to be one present. There's got to be one. Maybe in the background in the clouds or the other angels. I wonder if you asked AI like, hey, which is Trump? Should Trump, was Trump a criminal? And they'd be like, yeah. That's it. Like, no, like no spiel.

Yeah, he's probably lucky enough. Yeah, it's not smart enough to do that shit. I think it, I think it very, that's how cut and dry it is. It's like, yeah, very likely. Yeah. Anyway. But all of them are ran by business, I'm like, hey, don't, don't say shit about them, right. Oh, here's, I guess.

Here's an interesting one. Jayze's Empire State of Mind podcast with special guests and then it trails off. I'm sure you had other things there. I can't see him. Joke ruined. Sorry. You people. You people.

you people make me fucking sick. You know what's crazy? No. Tanger Natasha Benningfield. Who's that? Do I feel the rain on your skin? No one else can feel it for you. Yeah, she's been like doing stuff.

She's come back. She has a huge ass. Oh. Like, like some... Let me see. I can't have something like that on my phone anymore because, you know. That's fine. My current engagements.

But I asked for it. I can't. I don't have it. I don't have it. Look it up. No. Oh, okay. I can't have that on mine.

I guess. Because I don't want it showing up on the screen. Why not? A little bit of assing or hurt nobody. Who is this person again? I can't. I know the song. I'm having trouble putting a face.

Feel the rain on your skin. Natasha. No one else can feel it for you. Benningfield. Only you can let it in. Her? No one else. No one else can.

Natasha Beddingfield ass. Your lips. See yourself with arms right. I mean, I guess. Like currently. I suppose. Like this period of time of her. 2026.

We're doing some serious research here. Chronicles. I guess. I mean, maybe I'm spoiled. Maybe you've delved too far in the ass, I guess. You've delved too far. You've sunk in too far and looking at asses. You're like, ah, well.

I've acquired quite the experience. I have to actively now, and it's again, I'm just saying not interested. Because it tries to get me sometimes. I'm like, no, I can't. have this anymore. You can say that, but like, I've seen your likes on. I know. I know. I've seen your likes on. Like, I, it'll, the only reason that shit comes across my feet is because you like it.

And then you like it too. And you're like, oh, man. I don't like it. Oh, my God. Like, I literally have to be like, oh, no. I screen record it and hide it. You screen record dollars to your phone. Bring it to a separate drive. Plug it in the drive. You have eight terabytes fills, but you have to delete some of them. That's crazy. That's crazy to do for shit that's like not illegal. Just Google it. Like, what are you doing hiding normal Instagram reel? Like, kind of like thirsty Instagram Reels on a fucking separate hard drive. A hidden thumb drive behind a picture frame.

A separate hard drive that you have to transfer from your phone. You have to take it from your phone. Plug your phone into some apparatus. And then bring it to a server that goes through space and then back down to your house. Yeah. I'm just liking it and going on with your day. Yeah, no, she's got something. It's just like, I don't know.

I'm quite used to it You're not looking anymore You know look at it Yeah You're uh you're you've eaten too much of the Oh my butter my butter's too my butter's too gay I don't know Oh my toast is too gay

What are you trying to say? Oh my piss is too brown All right whatever That's crazy Uh but Please rank the following So he Jayze Empire State of Mind

He wrote in Please rank the following From least gay to most gay Okay So starting with the least gay I'm gonna give you the list of things Oh yeah Sucking a man's dick

I think that's definitely at the higher end. That's higher. That's higher than I think fucking a man actually. Yeah. Right? You know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah. So, all right. A man's sucking your dick. Okay. It's quite gay, but not as. Okay. Fucking a man's butt.

It's quite gay. Quite gay as well. Quite gay up there. A man fucking your butt. Very. Very gay. Very. Very gay. Yeah. Jorking a man off. Also quite gay. I feel like that might be like deceptively high. Quite gay too. Yeah. And a man jorking you off.

That's on the lesser end. So I think the gayest that you can, look. This is not a value judgment. It's not like you're not worth. I need to clarify. I need to clarify, you're not worse or whatever. We're simply arguing the merits of, not the merits, but like the specific, the degree of homosexuality intrinsic to these activities.

Not that it's bad. All love amongst consenting adults is beautiful love. But if you're gay, you should feel bad. the person that looked up at that very moment I heard him say that you should feel bad yeah you should feel bad Kevin but you just perk man what you just crazy okay so I think sucking a man's dick is particularly

I think that's the gayest I think that's that's number one yeah number two is I think beating a man off I think jerking a man off is pretty gay yes I would agree pretty gay and then third I think oh no no no no no because jerk because you've jerked a man off right in your life.

You? Yeah, you have yourself. No. No, there's no. I'm not with you on that. You've masturbated a man's completion before. So that act has been done by you. Sure.

So that's somewhere in a middle space. I would give it. I put that in a middle space somewhere. It is gay. Okay. But it's in a middle space. It's not like the most homosexual thing. I think fucking a man is also gay.

That's on the lower end. of upper end. The lower end of very gay. The lower end of... So just gay. It's the lower end of peak gay. It's not quite mid gay. You know what I mean?

It's like on the event horizon. Okay. It's not the event horizon of mid gay and very gay. There are things gayer than it. Sucking a man's... An man suck your dick is relatively gay, but also... That's mid gay. That's mid gay.

That's lower mid gay. That's lower mid gay, I think is right. I'm gay. And then what else is there? A man jerking you off. So a man jerking you off. Did we do that already? This is getting complicated.

This is all pretty gay, man. This whole conversation is gayer than any of this. Yeah, I wish I could bring my dad in. He'd have a really insightful right now. Yeah. He'd be really insightful. I think the logic that we're going by makes sense, though. I think the idea of...

You can fill on the rest, because the rest, quite frankly, I don't care that much about. We focus on the things that we're most important. Sucking a penis is the most... intimately gay It's the peak gay I think it's gay I think actually Absolutely

Because you could dress a guy up Like a freaking Well women have asses You know what I mean It's like it's kind of As a former booty boy myself Yeah but still Anyway

We're gonna move the fuck on Like I banged booties Not I was being banged in the booty Sure okay Good clarification He's lying He's a fucking the liest.

I don't know. Liess is crazy. Schmuel Cohen wrote in. He says, Hey, all. This one's mostly for Sweene since he's a fan of

Freddie Gibbs. Yeah. He'd love to check this out. Did you, did you know during the time he and JPEG mafia were beefing? JPEG decided to post Fray's entire asshole on Twitter just had to share.

We did, I think we covered this. He talked about it. I think we talked about this on the show back for that. That is crazy. That's a crazy to do. How did he get his asshole? He probably just snuck into his fucking.

bathroom. That's crazy. Derek Maffy's an interesting guy, man. Also talented, too, but I think he's more talented than he is. It bothers me a little bit. He had a really cool up with Flum. Who? Flub. Flume. Is that the guy from Spike Kids? Flugly?

Flum. Who's the guy that I'm thinking of? I don't know. You're thinking of him? You don't know the Spike Kids with the thumb guys, the thumb people when they were running around? I don't know. Are you insane? I don't think so. Well, that would probably, that's not great evidence.

That means you're probably insane. No. Yeah. Because people, because an insane person. People that aren't insane don't think they're insane. People that aren't insane do, they're saying. So how do you know who's insane? I think I'm insane, which means I'm not insane.

But what if you just know you're insane? I don't like thinking about that at all. Exactly. You'd be like, because I feel like people that aren't insane don't think they're insane. People that are insane don't think they're insane. I guess people that are insane knowingly know they're insane. insane, but there are some people that are not insane that think they're insane. I'm getting really scared and confused.

So we're going to move on. Because I think I'm off, but I'm not insane. I think you're insane. I don't think I'm insane. I think I've seen you do insane things. I've seen, duh, we're all off. We're not quite insane. No, no, but you are insane passing.

We're insane passing. Because like, I remember you sleeping and like sleeping sitting up. Yeah, that's fairly insane. I mean, one time I sleep walked outside of our apartment once. What? Yeah, except though, like outside. I was outside the apartment I woke up and I was like, whoa.

Like you opened the door and left it open? I think I did, yeah. I'm astound that I haven't been fucking assassinated yet. No one's after you. People are after me? Chris, no one's after you.

I've had death threats. I've had people say, I've had people say, I've seen you running around Burbank. I've seen threats are one thing. Actions are a different thing. No one's after you, Chris. You're not active enough like that.

I, Hey, once upon the time when you were fucking making videos about, I don't know, calling black women stupid. That's not what I mean videos about, come. You didn't make videos about it, but that was an active point of your video. I called black women who were stupid, stupid, because I'm an egalitarian. Yeah.

You still called black women stupid? Not because they're black. You sure? Mostly, mostly. It's 99%. 99% sure. They were stupid, but them being black. Only because I accept the limitations of my human mind and I can't know

everything I'm 99% sure that's not a factor. That's crazy. You give it that 9% is insane. I'm pretty confident. That's a be 9% sure. I'm very sure. I'm pretty sure if you go back and you look at your own videos and you make it fun of some black women,

you'd be like, yo, I was smiling. You realize I called her, dumb. You realize I like black women, right? I'm absolutely aware, but I make fun of Mexicans all the time. You don't hate Mexicans. I make fun of Jewish women. I think they're like the, highest tier that's not Australia white women on the planet.

Like Jewish, yeah. It's like, it's like, yeah. The Jewish American princess. And then Jewish women. The Jewish American princess is really, that really had me in a bind for a while. Dude, I get it, man. Yeah.

I'm from New York. I get it. I get it. Black women in my experience were the easiest, actually. Really? Just like, be with? Or like, attract to? I don't know.

I've been with more black women than I think you expect me to have. I know what? Three? Huh? You three, right? Three or two? Three. Yeah.

Yeah. I've dated, for me, it's mostly like dark, dark, dark skin, Hispanic women. Yeah. Lily's the lightest one I've ever been with. And it bothers me. It bothers me a lot because our kids are going to come out looking like fucking, I don't know, looking like Tayson Dez. Okay, well. Do you think he'll have his voice still?

That would suck. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where. I am crying. I am crying. help me father. Okay, here's one. The podcast is too long. I always come in the first 45 minutes.

That's, man. He wrote in, he says, hello. 45 minute jorks is impressive, man. Clap it up, man. It's not that hard. It's a waste of fucking time. Dorking a 45 minutes is an impressive. If you're not stopping yourself,

if you're just jerking it for that long, that's impressive. You got to, I feel like you have to take that. That's a crazy long time. That's a crazy long time. That's a whole two, like, that's like, what, two episodes of the Sopranos? No, it's not That's like one episode

It's one episode It's near the end of one episode He'd been drunk it the whole time Yeah man I love Tony's hijacks Calling it hijacks is crazy You just wait for the bottom of being scenes Bada Bing scenes

Oh fuck it's gone Damn Gotta keep it going for the next one That's it straight Power through the next Through the next episode That Congrats dude

Congrats You should probably I don't know Like, probably go to a doctor. That's way too long. I'm going to be jerking your dick. But hey, you know. He's losing time.

Like, genuinely. That's a way. That's a thorough waste of your time. Genuinely. You know? Having a 45-minute session like that is insane. Like, maybe you got to treat that like, I don't even know, man.

You got to treat that like a really unhealthy, like a popcorn at the movies. Like, I don't know. You got to be like, you got to be like, I'm going to treat myself. I'm going to jerk off for, Five hours. It's like once every two months, maybe. That's what you can maybe get away with that.

I've never had the relationship with masturbating that was healthy enough for me to be like, oh yeah, I'm going to make a little day of it. It's, you know, like it is because it's never, it's never. Make a day of it. It's never been like, oh, I want to enjoy myself and wind down. Let me jack my dick. It's always like, I need the focus. Right. And this erections bothering my focus.

Let me beat off and then hopefully not fall asleep and get things done. It's more like a game really where it's like you're kind of like you're kind of like doing a bit of a boss battle kind of versus like I have to triumph. I have to overcome this problem. Yeah. And sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's like man, I'm not really like man. I know I have to do this but I'm not into it. I just have to get it out.

I've definitely, I've definitely, I've definitely given up. I've definitely. Yeah. Yeah, right? You're just like, fuck this, man. I'm like, oh, whatever. I'm hungry. What am I doing?

I've definitely like, I've definitely masturbated and then like in a middle of masturbating, get distracted and end up watching a full YouTube video about like, about the creation and manufacturing of cottagenes and been like, I guess I'm just on. Well, the moment's gone. The sun's coming up and I'm like, what's going on? What is how? What have I done with my life? What am I?

It's like a quick time event. We're like in the Spider-Man games. We're like, you flints and it's like, I'm going to die. Oh, no. We're up going to die. God, the Spider-Man 3. Quick time events. The Spider-Man 3 ones are crazy.

Spirdera 3 ones are the best. That game is so fucking cool. People didn't like it. I had a great time playing. It's not a very good game. I loved it. I liked it. It's not a very good game.

Especially compared to every Spider-Man game, honestly, around it. Like before and after it. I really enjoy. It's not as good as Web of Shadow. It's not as good as Spider-Man, it's not as Spider-Man, too. or even Spider-Man 1. I don't know. Spider-1 is...

I think it's been a... Since you've played it, that game holds up remarkably well. You just... It's a fun little bit... It's a fun little bit of all the time. Well, it's not really about that. It's about, like, the levels

and, like, about, like, um... It's a fun game. Two is obviously an iconic video game. Like, I didn't understand how much two was like a pivotal video game. It's a blueprint game. Like that and GTA, we're like... GTA3, yeah, those two games are like... Yeah.

Like, the open world games? I wouldn't... They are. They were... the time. They're like proto open world. Like what they would they. I would say they're open world. They're just small games. They're just smaller. But that game like actually maneuvering through the city's crazy. And I didn't

really understand or respect that at the time. I fucking love. I was so obsessed with it. I think that gave me my obsession with like physics in games. I was like I can't believe this works this way. And then they programmed it where like if you shoot two webs and you go back, you fly. It's like this is sick. We were so cool. A few days ago we were talking about Tuesday of the Cana. We were ranking open world games, right? Right. Yeah. And Chris got really upset. I didn't get upset.

You made my friend and our friend Jake. And we were talking about all the powers available in Tears of the Kingdom. I stand by the fact that Tears of the Kingdom is a great video game. But it came out at a bad time. Because it came out around the time a bunch of other games had just come out. I think the only problem with Tears of the Kingdom is that Breath of the Wild came before it. And half of Tears the Kingdom is Breath of the Wild. That is another problem.

That's the biggest issue with it. Like playing it maybe, I loved Tears of the Kingdom way more than Breath of the Wild. But I also was like, damn, I kind of regret that I played. Breath of the Wild because I would have liked this experience to be completely new. And that was frustrating. Although the Great Plateau in the beginning of Breath of the Wild. That's the best intro of video game. I think it's genuinely...

It's the best. Every time I think about replaying Breath of the Wild, I get through that area and I'm like, oh, I'm so excited to keep going. And then I get out of it and I lose a lot of my enthusiasm for it. Because it's so well directed. That is the best intro in a video game ever. Like, I cannot think of the opening of a video game that makes you interact with the world better than that.

It's up there. It's like perfect. Yeah, I don't even really love that game as much as a lot. a lot of people do, but like that, that intro, that intro section is so fucking good. It's really good. That's kind of game you put someone, that's kind of game you give to a little young person for their first video game. And they'd be like, this is what this medium is.

That's amazing. I could see that. Yeah. But we were talking about how like the power ups in Tears of the Kingdom are really good. And Chris was like, hey, the best power up is obviously ascend. Yeah. You were like, ascend is cool, but it feels relatively flat compared to some of the other powerups. But for me, I'm a combined guy.

I love the idea of putting two things together. giving weapons elemental properties is the easiest way for me to be like oh i want to invest myself in this game sure chris was like you guys don't understand how good is i'm like yes it's cool design wise designing that is awesome but just swimming through rocks isn't that cool i whatever that's fine it i can't do it i understand what you're saying i get it's not flashy yes but it's it's kind of this is like the sprint argument to me where it's just like sprint is cool because it's flashy. It's just like, no, it kind of, no.

No, it's not really... The design around is what needs to amplify sprints. The thing that's cool about Ascend is that they had to take it into account when designing every space. Exactly. And so because of that, you can find these things that you wouldn't expect to exist. You can find clever ways to maneuver through things. You can break dungeons.

But in that breaking, there's like they've accounted for the breaking. And so it's just like it's a very clever mechanic. It's very satisfying to feel like you've gotten one. over on the game while the game is still it's still built around it so you haven't really broken it but it lets you feel like you have it's just a really

compared to the other power-ups in tiers of the kingdom I think which I think are like flatter actually than Breath of the Wild you can do more I think with Breath of the Wild specifically with like the pause the pause thing and like you hit it and like

there's a lot of fun that you can have with it and the combined thing is cool but that's the thing about that though is that it does remind me a lot of like Banjo Cazooie, what is it? Nuts and Bolts. It is nuts and bolts. It is, it's very funny to me that it, that it is, it's also odd that they chose nuts and bolts as like a clear. If somebody at Nintendo was like, we never even heard of that, I'd be like, I don't believe. I don't, you're a liar. I don't, like I don't believe you. That's insane. Nuts and bolts was cool. It just shouldn't have been a banjo game. It's a dumb, it's a dumb idea that it's a banjo game. It really bother me. He's just to be cute. Why does he look like a Dominican guy? It's a cool style. It's a cool style. It's a, it's a cool style. It's. It's a little. It's a banjo game. It's a ball. It's a, it's a It's not a cool style. I think it's a cool style. I do not think it's a cool. The toy kind of like, I think it's cool.

The issue is that's not what Banjo Cazooey is supposed to be. So like this does not, this does not work at all. But I made like, I remember making like, like, Halo Pelicans and like fucking like, I remember I made an ODSD drop pod in that game. And it was like, this is so cool. I wish this wasn't Banjo Cazooey. But I definitely, I've definitely done interactions where like I've blown things up and then ascended through something that I should not be able to move through at that time. Yeah. And I'm just flying through the world.

I'm like, that is awesome. That is true, like, really awesome interactions of gameplay. But then at the end of the day, I'm just standing on something. I mean, it's, I don't know. I just, I think it's so much more empowering than all the other abilities. It is the, it feels more satisfying to use. I understand that it's not as flashy and it's not as, like, big and bombastic. It is the most dynamic by, by a large margin.

It's the most, like, no, the thing that I appreciate it is, like, every other aspect of that game, most developers would feel fine about doing. That's an idea that, for. sure most developers would be like we're not fucking doing that. Like we're not giving the player the ability to fly through the fucking ceiling no matter where they are. Like that's, that, no. You know how hard that's going to be to fucking navigate around?

And it's just like, so the fact that it's in there is like. Because that means the skybox tank doesn't exist sometimes. Yeah. It's just up sometimes. Yeah. And so it's just like it's really, I find it really. That's a brave decision. And so when I see that, I'm like, that's fucking cool.

But I get it. People don't like the sky world. I love the idea of flying around to the scriber world. I think it's fucking cool. Like the upper areas? I would love to... The wind temple? The area is fucking lit as shit.

I would love to properly finish those games. The issue with those games to me, because I do find them like really engrossing. The issue is the fucking hardware, man. I hate... I hate playing them on the Switch. You got to play that on the Switch.

I love you my Switch 2 to play them. Yeah, I don't know. I've not played... Because buying a Switch 2 is just like... I can't justify that... It's not we're buying it. I can't justify it. I get it.

I can't justify it But I do want to play that Like I would love to play breath of the while That like a fucking proper frame rate I love my first I feel like it'd be great But like the only issue with it is Like here's the kingdom I only stopped playing

Because the frame rate got like Fucking horrible And I was just like I can't Highly different on the Switch 2 It's really It's like the Pokemon game Scarlin Violet Playing that game on the Switch 1 was a sin Playing on Switch 2 is like

This is an indifferent It's 60 frames It loads like 30 something Pokemon just running all over the place And it's like Are you not playing anything on your Switch to? Other than like the new Pokemon, like...

I have a hard time borrowing things for people if they're actively using them. You can use it. I'm really not. I don't care. I would love to play Beth the Wild again. You can use it. You can use it.

Because I enjoy... I really enjoy that console, but I don't use it. I don't use my PC. Yeah. It's hard to validate using anything. I like, I want to play hit and run. I want to play fucking Soul Calibur 3.

I'm like, oh, I have a Steam Deck for that. Yeah. I use my living room consoles. quite a bit, but like the handhelds are getting, um... I've been trying to sell my PS5 forever and Lily won't let me because of GTA. She literally will not let me. There's also no reason to because it's just going up in value. I just don't care.

I don't use it. Yeah, just hold on to it. But she's like, if you sell it, we're not going to be with a GTA and I was like, you play on a PC's like, she's completely anti-computer video gaming, though. Like her brain, it doesn't work in her mind. I get it. It's annoying. It's not annoying.

It's so... It's not annoying until it is. And that's kind of the thing. It's like, consoles are not annoying. consoles are built to play video games. Right. PCs are built to compute.

Yeah. There's games that I have that like, that are from like 2011, that there's no reason why they shouldn't work. And they just don't. Splintercell Blacklist does not work on my fucking 39, 3080. And I'm like,

why the fuck does Splintercell fucking Blacklist not run on my, Splinter Cell Blacklist can probably run on my phone? what are we doing try up playing Kotoa on your PC and see what happens I bet it's horrible your PC will stand up

and get up and walk out the room you know the best way to play Kotor is on the switch on the switch they were going to release the DLC

the adams the cut content and they didn't release for some reason they just chose not to we started reading that guy's question then we just

he's fine he's fine he says hello shapt hello head shaft and balls what's something you tried

because you were so sick of everyone around you talking about it I started getting into Resident Evil recently because I was sick of you guys discussing out of the podcast constantly and me not understanding what the fuck you're talking about. I played two and three remakes so far and loved them. I'm looking forward to four remake, seven, eight, nine. Hell yeah, dude. We got, we got somebody. I love getting people into stuff. What if I kind of everybody talks about it? And I was like, whatever, I'll try. I had that with Skyrim when I first played it. Same. Because I remember going to, I remember going to school. I was in college on November 11th, the day that it was supposed to come. out or maybe it was the day after i can't remember it was midweek because games came out on tuesdays

back then i think they still do kind of but so i went to school i had like four or five classes two of my professors weren't there which is crazy uh most i think everybody i think everybody that i was friends with was not in the lounge in the morning when i went in maybe you were there because you didn't play i was in college yet in in uh year after. Oh, right, right, you were the year after. But I remember going to the lounge, the Duchess lounge, and sitting there, I mean, like, where the fuck is everybody? I just got my sandwich from, like, the shitty cafeteria with those really good curly fries.

And I remember being like, I think it was just Steve. And I was like, Steve. I was surprised Steve wouldn't is playing it either. Steve's not really that much of a Western RPG guy. He likes JRP's a lot. That much sense. But I remember being there with him. I was like, what the fuck is going on?

Is there, is people sick? Is there like a thing going around? And he's like, I don't know. And we went to class. And then like I left early because it was like, what the fuck's going on? And then I think everybody was, there was like a text chain. It was like, hey, come over to Jalins. We're playing Skyrim.

I was like, what? They were playing Skyron. You understand. Land parties, dude. They had land parties for Skyrim, which is psychotic. They were like, I think four TVs in either Jalens or Joe's basement. Probably Jalens because Joe's basement's not big enough for that. But I just remember being like, this is insane.

insane that you're playing a fucking single player game together like this. Aren't you spoiling shit for each other? Like it doesn't make sense to me. We did that in like 2015. No, not the 2016 in our apartment. Yeah. It was like one person was on a dead,

our little fucking desk. That is true. We did do it. Someone was on the other, like it was our fucking table with a computer monitor. So it was like, I had the TV. Chris brought his TV out his bedroom by his door.

And then Jaylon was playing in his room. Yeah. And I remember Lily being like, Hey, do you want to go to this? And I was like, I can't. We're playing Skyrim. He's not a one player of game.

And I was like, yeah, but look. And she thought we were in. He's like, are you guys all individually playing Skyrim? And I was like, yeah. It's fun. It is fun. Like, I get it. Like, once I did it.

Because we're all having our own adventures and having a great time. Well, the thing that's funny is the thing that's funny about it is that Skyrim is genuinely fun to watch. Yeah. Deceptively. Because you think, you think about it being kind of like a bland Bethesda game. But like, it is. genuinely very funny.

So, like, you're playing the game on yourself, and then you catch a glance of what your friend's doing. And it's psychotic shit. Your friend is beating up a dragon with his bare head. Yeah. Or, like, or, like, shouting a goat into a fucking river from the, you know what I mean? It's, it is, it was fun. But I remember Skyron was the first thing.

It was like, I just didn't understand it. I didn't play oblivion. I didn't like fall out three when I first played it. Because it was like, why do I, why am I starting this game in school? Like, that game starts off in school as a person who was going to school, a guy. against my will. I didn't want to spend the first bit of a video game in fucking school when I could be on a halo rig shooting shit, you know?

That was me with Destiny. Destiny is a game that I didn't try at first. Yeah. And like I got hyper addicted to it. You missed the Prime too, man. I didn't play regular Destiny. You missed Prime. Like Destiny 1 was so special.

Destiny 2 is very good. But Destiny 2 is Destiny 1 was. Because we got a Destiny around Shadow Keep, right? As we started playing again. I don't know. It was around pandemic time though, right? Or like a little bit before. It was right in before we started playing.

It's like 2019 though. Because I remember I do you have the Shadow Key DLC and you were like, I got two copies of it. Do you want a copy of it? Yeah. He gave me the copy and then I ended up getting forsaken afterwards. And I was like, dude, I'm hooked. Yeah. That's back when the 150s were good.

That's back we had our fucking trust. That's right. Causing trouble. Yeah, man. I'm kind of sad that you missed out on, because Destiny 1 really. I mean, Destiny 1 you could still technically play and it is actually very good still. I actually played through. I started up at a curiosity a couple weeks ago, like maybe months ago now.

It was probably like February. I started it up because I was like, yeah, I'm curious. Because I think I heard news about the division coming back or like that they were going to make a Division 1 remastered or something. It didn't turn out to be true. But I remember being like, oh, I liked the division. And it kind of got me thinking about like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of in the mood to play a game like from back then. And Destiny was sitting there. And I remembered like, oh, all of Destiny 1 is there.

The beginning of the game isn't gone like Destiny. Like Destiny 2. So, like, yeah, maybe I'll play Destiny 1 again. And I expected to play it for like maybe like two hours. I played it for like 15. You've played a main story? I don't even know if I did. I just played a lot of it.

I was just doing a bunch of strikes and shit. And I'm just remember being like, damn, this is really good in like a very different way. It takes a couple of, it takes a minute to adjust to 30 frames. I can't. But like, you think you can't. It's a good 30, in fairness to Destiny. Like, there's a lot of games that like,

the jittery, you know? Destiny doesn't have that But it's so good I didn't play D1 The vibe man And like the It's got the right speed It's got like the right

Like you're not flying around quite yet It's very funny in retrospect Because like one of the first cutscenes in Destiny is like The speaker or whatever The guy talks to the travel He's like We used to be much more powerful And it's like yeah

You got you get there Don't worry You get there You get pretty powerful eventually Like playing it again And like after doing like, you know, Final Shape and stuff, it's just like, it's very funny hearing that sentence because it's like, yeah, no worry. You're on it. It's okay, you're jumping a demon. Like, you're jumping a coach of God and everyone's just throwing. It's only 16 of you guys need him. That's crazy. I do hope they do Destiny 3. Like, it made me nostalgic. I would hope so. I don't know if I would ever get that. I don't know if I would ever get as into it as I was. I'm lying. But like. I would definitely play it. If I said, I would not get into that game. That'd be a full face lie for me. Like, like, I'm not going to.

No, I'm going to play the fuck out of that game. Yeah, they should do it. I just hope it happens before I potentially have children. That's it. That's what scares me. Because I won't be able to play video games like that if I have kids. Well, you can play with them. No, I can, but the period of time of them growing into, like, the picture can't play it.

You got to have kids now, then. So that by the time Destiny comes out, they're like four or like five or something. And I just got to wait like two more years and like really getting off the hands. Then you could get them put them into trials. That's insane. Playing trials with your son, stressed. Your kid is so. you're freaking you're tanking your kid

and your son's like dad what the fuck why would you peek then dad but yeah I'm glad uh I'm glad you got into resin evil that's cool good one man that is a good one um play five with a bunch of new mods only on Chris keeps hyper cool put shove in a fucking trench coat but yeah play as nude Chris

put her in a uh a burqa is it was called yeah you go mecca bin Laden's sword is just a really big plane road in. It says, Yo, Snarkis. It's not really a question, but yes, I am the Mechamund Lord and sort

is just a really big plain name from episode 400. Wow. Thanks for explaining. Sick. I would have never guessed. Sick. He says, and yes,

I was in fact losing my shit because you guys missed an absolute easy home run of a joke. Yeah, well, you know. It's in the moment, you know. You can't, uh, fuck you. Who are you to fucking criticize us?

You try doing this. He does it way better. Yeah, he's like, he becomes fundamentally like a generational talent. He's like, wow. He fucks Lady Gaga. In front of your house. Piss me off. In front of your house.

Piss me off something fierce. You can hear us saying bad romance you're saying dick. That's so great. That would traumatize me, I think. That would traumatize anyone, I think. It's a side note. Side note. I am in the Marines.

Jackbot. Jackpot. My phone's on there. Don't you dare kick that. Kick this shit out of it. Take it through the fucking wall. So I don't, I am in the Marines and not all of us like Trump. I'm aboard the ship right now.

And recently in line at dinner, Fox News was on showing Trump as AI Jesus photo. And the dude behind me saw it side and said, man, we are led by the dumbest N-words alive. Stay gay and thanks for the laughs. I hope the guy behind you was Hispanic. You know what I mean? Like I hope it's not a black guy who said that. I mean, it'd be fine. Like, whatever.

Like, I'm not invested. But it would be very funny to me if it's like, damn, it's like. I mean, I learned the N-word from my Hispanic cousins. I learned the N-word from people beating up a phone booth. You're like, oh, interesting. Does it mean phone booth? I was going to do this thing. Mama, pass me the nigger.

Pass me the phone booth. Mama, let's stop with the nigger real quick. You got to make a call. I love Dr. Who in his. I love Doctor Who and his time traveling niggas. That is crazy. That is genuinely the first time I heard it. I heard it from the Bronx.

On the corner of Gunnhill and Mashula. Of course. I know where that phone booth was. Well, they fucking. I might still be there. It's definitely gone. They got rid of all the phone booths in New York City. Really?

Yeah, remember that? You remember there was a whole thing about it years ago. Was it before we left? Might have been pre-COVID. Oh, okay. We weren't there anymore. But I remember them, dude. Yeah.

Damn, dude. It's crazy. Good times. I mean, like, wow. What did that? What even is that machine? It's like a child. I wasn't using phone booths.

I was like, what'd that phone booths? But anyway, yeah, that's very, very funny to hear. I mean, it's not surprising. It's, it is like, it's objective at this point. Like, it's only the most mentally deranged, most far gone people are still on that train. You know what I mean? Like, you've, you've got to be like a special kind of like, you're cooked to still be there.

And even them, they're fucking being like, maybe you're saying right. It was a bad sign when the QAnon shaman was like, nah. You know, that should have been, I mean, there's been so many moments in time where it's just like, oh, this should have been it. This should have been in. Not for like a moral character thing.

Like obviously he's always been a shitty moral person. Like we should have known he was a shitty person before the 2016 election, which everybody, which every reasonably smart person knew. Like, there's, January 6 to me was like, that was the thing to me was just like, oh, you're like actually like clinically crazy. And like you're kind of a madman.

Yeah, you really shouldn't. You really should not be around. Like even with the guardrails that were in place, that for me was like, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal when he won the first time because it's like, there's guardrails in there. There's people who are around him who are not going to be loyalist to him. Like, whatever.

And it did kind of end up being the case. The issue is when January 6 happened, it was like Mike Pence really kind of was the only thing Mike Pence saved the country I thought he would I thought going in that he would be the worst aspect because he would you know he's standard standard politician he's crazy this is like an outsider wildcard with Trump so like maybe maybe maybe not but I thought for sure by Pence would be like a fucking freak

the thing he isn't the thing is that old Republican old Republicans are hateful but they're not like straight up just insane yeah that guy is like Trump is like insane, greedy, and just a fan of a dick suck in any way can receive him. Yeah, he's part of that old, like, inexplicably they have a code of ethics. Where it is, where it is, I have a hard time seeing, but it was there. Not at casting force lightning on gay people, no, but. Right. But there's no reason, like, there's no reason why he shouldn't have done it.

If not, there was no reason why he shouldn't have certified that the slate of fake electors, if not for the fact that he was just, like, ethically, like, opposed to it. Which, you know, props to him. He's crazy. But I'll give him credit. A good moment, you know. Because he could have easily done it. Yeah.

And he would have been probably better off for it, actually. He would have still been vice president. Yeah. So. So. Good old mighty be. Good luck out there. Marine.

Stay safe. Oh, boy, man. Jesus. What a fucking mess. Hey, man. That's all you can say, really, right? That really is all there is. Let me see.

Let me see. Let me see. Merch idea. Trading cards from all the bullshit you come up with. I think that is a great idea, actually. Oh my God. Yeah. We contact an actual game company,

game designers to make an actual card game for us. I got to figure out who did the creator clash cards. They had like a set of, like a deck of actual cards. Yeah, like I have a trading card and like, Oh, that's all I remember. We all have the cards. Who the fuck did that?

I gotta get into contact That's not a bad idea We'd have to do the art We'd have to figure out the art But uh That would be fucking That would be cool Would be the strongest guy

It would be shirt man obviously It'd have to be shirt man On the power scale probably You have to be him Yeah He's too strong Being able to take things out of reality And place them on a shirt

And make them not real anymore It's kind of It's a very OPE Beautiful shirts though Yeah Immaculate shirt Like genuinely beautiful Like you buy him

But it's like Those are people Yeah But he says Sup gang What would you consider consider the lowest form of comedy that always gets a laugh out of you. I'm sure you guys heard of ear rape,

but I want to bring some attention to the opposite of that. On YouTube, search Shrimp on Sale at this hour and go to 10 seconds. Thank me later. I'm not going to do that on the show. I'm not going to do that on the show. I'll do it off the show and I'll report back to you as to whether or not that was interesting. But is it, what are you going to say? You know what it is.

Is it a piss? Is it piss? Piss is good. Piss or the N word. Piss or the N word. Yeah. We've taken piss jokes to a whole new level of our friend group. It is really absurd.

Like, I don't like that it's become this much of a focus. It is fun. When the ball gets rolling on a good stream of piss. Like, it's good. It's good. We've got people that don't think like that is funny laughing plenty of times. Yes. And I'm like, I'm probably, like, we're.

How do you know they're not politely laughing at you? Because they're crying. That's true. Are they scared? The piss pinini was something that I was not expecting. But yeah, it's got the N word for me, man. It's just like it is, it is a cheat code to make things funnier. Like it is.

Like whenever I hear, like when when that guy was talking about the guy that I was talking about earlier. And he just said, I can't stand this N word. He said the hard arras and I just was not expecting it. It fucking killed me. It's funny because it's such a violent word. Yeah. And using it at not violent moment. moments. Right. Like you're walking down the scene and bumming a little kid. Watch out.

And say that to a little kid. It's crazy. It's like, why would you tell them that? It's the shock value of it. But it is, it does, it does get a chuckle out of me. Is that piss is really good. That's a, that's a, that's an all time joke. Yeah. That is like a pissing on bread. Then slamming in a pinony press and pissing all over the place is a good joke. I think it's funny. Funny. Lily doesn't think it's funny. I think she's the only person that's immune to it. That's crazy. She's, she doesn't get it. She's not there. She's not evolved. She's not evolved like us. She's, she's, she's gonna fucking into it. Anyway.

The Sultan of Saskatchewan wrote in. He says, Hello, Rogue, Bard and Barbarian. Longtime Freeloder turned patron presenting my first submission.

Welcome. Thank you. Welcome to the club. It's the exclusive club. You know? Only the best of, only the best people can get in.

I think you do. I think you do have a comment. Say the N-word. What he was like what do you think about women in men men and women sports? It's like I'm really not here about that I think you a little sway yeah I think you are I think you are I think you do have something to say about it God I hate that moment because that was an adorable moment on anyone else but fuck him so much I know I was a cute little sway he did right there man he's a good but I want him to pass away he's doing a little dementia sway he's leaning he's leaning he's leaning he's doing a Michael Jackson lean at its furthest point all the time.

Yeah, he's maybe like what, like 11 degrees? Yeah, I know. I understand. I understand. I'm, I was very good at geometry. And he's walking around. He's striding. He's somehow striding. Benning is trying to walk at a fucking 11 degree incline. It's fucking crazy. The dementia were going to lean. Is that a happen? He was going to dementia lean? Is that like a real thing? It sounds real. I think I might have invented it just now. But like, somebody in the comments, let us know if there's a Dimensionian.

They're going to come, they forget. They're going to come, they forget. Anyways, just question, what's the dumbest thing to be caught dead listening to or watching? I asked because on a road trip one summer, I put the pod on, and an hour into the drive ended flying into the ditch at around 110 kilometers, 68 miles. Damn and rolled my car five or six times I don't remember

the exact episode I was listening to That's not surprising You don't remember You don't remember Your name for a little while I bet too Yeah

Can't remember if you're a person Probably fucking meowed after that He says I don't remember The exact episode I was listening to But I do remember that I was flying through the air Derek was explaining

The best way to hide Boners in school Thank you for Thank you guys for Helping make the workday Go smoother While I dig trenches or do other bullshit plumber grunt work.

We need plumbers, man. Yeah, well, thank God you're safe, man, at least. I thought about doing plumbing. I thought about doing all the Hispanic fucking jobs. Really, all like the, you know, the building and like the labor. Fumbing, fucking, uh, thought about construction. Destruction.

Thought about the military. I love military too. Yeah. I was like, no. My dad was like, don't do that. Then I remember my cousin got turned to fucking mist. And I was like, oh, maybe not. And, uh, you don't want to.

You don't want to grenade vietnamese. Do you really want to? Do you really want to do that? Do you really want a grenade a Vietnamese kid? Yeah. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Look out.

Look, I'm a Vietan. And he blows himself up. That's fucking crazy. But, um, what's the dumbest thing? The dumbest thing. I mean, it's got to be, I feel like, I feel like porn is embarrassing. It's got to be a type of porn, right? Like, um, no, like, no.

The dumbest thing I really don't know I don't know if I have a satisfying answer for it Because there's so many options you could go Don I listen to a creepy pasta is pretty funny Like that doesn't listen to like a really stupid creepy pasta Yeah, one of the fucking um

What's this guy's name? Chills, right? Imagine you're listening to number 15 Imagine listening to chills And you die but it's not exactly him It's like you know how he has like the background music Yeah It's like do do do do

The worst thing to find in your Burger King Burger is foot fungus. And it's like that. And you get freaking, I don't know, you get like fucking raided by the SWAT and gun down and listen to that. That's crazy. And then they stop and they listen to. And they're like,

holy shit. That's what the Gunnicide guy was listening to on his radio on his ox. The Gunnicide is a legendary moment that unfortunately happened. It's crazy. That guy's dead. I murdered himself after. I'm never going to forget his smile, dude. She's such a charming little smile.

Like, I feel like that whole situation is just like, got way out of it. Yeah, I did. He got way out of it. For those of you don't know, you should know. If you're here, you should know about the goonicide. You can look it up. G-O-O-N-A-side.

You can spell. But yeah, I don't know. I feel like porn is the obvious thing to me, but I just don't know what would be the dumbest porn to be watching. because anything would be just like shocking but I mean like I'm thinking about like dumb like a really dumb like what like what type of genre would you like respect somebody less

I don't know you know there's got to be one outside of like you know obviously like illegal evil shit yeah I've gotten so I've gotten so respectful for people's sexual preferences that I just I don't really know yeah I mean be like gay porn gay porn be the worst thing but now I'm just like I don't know man it's like anything it's like you just trying to get

a nut off. Arotic fixation to like, I don't know, like cat girl porn would be a way to go. That would be something. I don't know. I'm sorry,

I don't have a better answer. I've never thought about it. I've never thought about it. Like, I do think it's generally podcast in general, to be honest. Like our podcast? If it's a Joe Rogan explain

how fucking Yahoo's a good guy and you die of that. Yeah. It's like, is Palantir really that bad as your brain is leaking out of your fucking head? You're killing.

yourself to it, too. Like, this guy, lost his brain before this even happened. This guy, there's no gray matter on the wall at all. Must be a Joe Rogan listener. Open the skull. Nothing? Hmm. What was he listening to?

Joe Rogan experience, sir. I knew it. Jamie. Jamie? Jamie get the body. Jamie get the body. Jamie, bury him. Jamie eat him.

Jamie, eat his skin first, then bury him. Jamie skin this man. Fast. Fast. He does it like one. Like one, like a tablecloth with like a silverware on it. Rips his skin off his body. Being able to one yank an entire person's skin away is a fucking, that's a skill.

Because there must be a way, there must be. You must be able to do that, right? If you cut into them. No. I mean, just with like grab and pull. Chris, that's so hard to do what's unbelievable. I understand it's hard to do, Kingston. Is it impossible?

I don't think so. It's like really close. I don't know. Like I think really close. I think that somebody if look, this is unethical

and we would never fund it. But like... What did you say that part? You don't got to set up quiet parts aloud. I'm saying it's unethical we would never fund it. But some scientists could figure out

how to build a machine that could yank the entire skin off of a human in one go. It would have to go under their skin. If we can go to the moon with Artemis, we can yank the skin off a person in one go. But you have to go under the skin to do that. I don't know if that's true.

How would it not be? I just don't know if I don't, I'm not a science We're sealed for the most part You know we got all sorts of holes We got pores Kingston But our skin still sealed on it Well not exactly We get like blemishes and shit

Because shit infiltrates That's still skin There's like parasites to get into you Like I think I just think But that's still skin You simply aren't comprehending I you know you you're telling me right now That you don't think that there's scientifically

Like it's plausible Like I think it's possible It's so improbable It's damn near impossible Impossible. Improbable. Improbable that they would fund it? Improbable as possible.

I think it could be done. Do the voice messages now. God, man, it's making me so fucking angry. Listen, we got, let's get a couple more questions in. Do the voice memos. Let's get a couple more questions in. You do the voice memos.

Fine. What are you doing? Nothing. Yeah, I figured. I don't want to believe I can do it. Yeah. I know. You know the new Apple Watch stuff,

when you like, do find my phone. It tells you how far you are from your phone now. Oh, weird. Yeah, like you're in a vicinity, like, maybe like within... My Apple Watch has been sitting on his charger for six months. So it probably doesn't work anymore. I don't know. It still says it's on.

They probably charge to the point it blew his battery out. I just don't care. I don't know. I don't like having a thing on my wrist in general. But also, I don't like having... I already... I flip the fuck out when I get notifications. It makes me angry.

Why? Because I just don't like being bothered in that way. Like, I hate, like, my... I hate my peace being interrupted by, like, the world telling me that it. it needs me. You know? Like it's annoying. My thing is I hate people having, I hate my, I hate being the reason why the days revolve

around. Right. Like I hate being it because of me that something's happening. But it's like, well, now people are probably half to do. And they're probably annoyed because I get them things have to happen and I have to fuck my day up to be at things. So I hate celebrating myself. I just think it's, I don't know.

I just think it's bad enough that like you can reach me in my pocket and you got to reach me on my pocket and my wrist at the same time. Like you really got to over simulate me like that. I'm sorry. I have my phone. I do not disturb most of the day. because I'm just like I don't need nothing

I need nothing Anyway Some short fat Polack wrote in Pollock is a slur right Yeah the Rockets where you phrase For what? Polish Oh duh

The police The police Fuck the police He says I know you guys are obsessed With the piss room But do you know of the piss nuke I can't be bothered To look it up if it's the same guy

But there's this guy on Instagram Who fills up Gallen Jules a guy jugs with piss and hurls them on the floor after shouting piss nuke incoming. He's made sequels such as Pissnog and Piss Missiles. I haven't looked into it into stuff beyond this as it makes me sad. Hope you all have an un-a-urilicious day. It's very real.

It is very real. I have seen this. I've shared those videos plenty of time. Yeah, you've sent it to me, I'm pretty sure. Yes, the Pish Nuk is wild. Wild invention Wild thing to create There was a guy too

Who like put fans in front of it To like get his piss air Piss air Doesn't mean a piss cake too God man It's it's really The night gets darker and darker man The night gets darker and darker

I don't I have heard of this The night gets darker and darker It doesn't No daytime in sight Well You've seen Clemens on Spotify And Apple Music wrote

And he says In episode 401 That poor soul wrote in about his life being torn apart due to the discovery of his jilk blanket. You remember this? Yeah. Remember this guy? Yeah.

I am an absolute Chad who loves to play RuneScape. And I thought you'd like to know that there's a quest recently who came into the game. There's quests being added to RuneScape still. Who the fuck is developing RuneScape? It's the same guy? The Escape Pod. That's crazy. I saw them say something recently that fucking infuriated the hell out of me.

What was it? Did you see them talk about it? the escape. So there's these fucking nerds. Shut up. We're nerds too. No. That don't be. Nah. I disagree with them.

I bit me a lot. Like, I really disappear with them a lot. Yeah. But I like the fact that they are able to at least exist. The Escape podcast is a nerd culture podcast. They just, they talk about Marvel movies and that's it.

Basically. I mean, it is like they don't care about any other nerd culture. No, they talk about Star Wars and shit. They talk about nerd culture in general. Like, Star Wars is Marvel.

Nerd part, nerd pop. culture. Sure, nerd pop culture, Disney pop culture specifically. Okay. Basically. Like, they're not into video games at all, which is crazy to me. I just don't even understand. But, so they were talking about Spider-Man because one of those guys loves the amazing Spider-Man too. It's his favorite Spider-Man movie. And it's just like, you're free to have that incorrect opinion. It's fine. It's a terrible film. Objectively, I think. But he was talking about how like, there's a guy. We talked about him on the show, actually, X Sunny Sunset.

He's fucking hilarious. He's hysterical, but he did a video. Let me edit. Let me do some edits actually around here. He did a video going over like, this is your goat, by the way. This is your guys's goat, by the way. I'm going to be right back. Do you see this video? Yes. Of him going over the Andrew Spider-Man scene in the beginning of Amazing Spider-Man 2, where he's fucking basically doing improv with the rhino as he's like careening a truck through a bunch of people. And he swings away. And meanwhile, people are dying literally, actually, straight up. And he doesn't do anything to fucking stop it. And the Escape Podcasts are like, well, Toby gave up being Spider-Man because he wanted to read MJ poetry in Spider-Man too. And nobody cares about that. Nobody cares about how many lives were endangered because of that. And it's like, motherfucker. First of all, no.

It's not because he wanted to read poetry. It's because Spider-Man is ruining his life and he's losing his powers. He had a really tough time. Also, the movie's about that. The movie is about how that's not the right choice. I agree. Because it leads to, like that. fire happens and he can only save one person

and he feels fucking terrible about it. The movie frames it that way. Yeah. The movie doesn't frame Andrew Garfield like like ooh doing little little improv with the fucking It's hijinks, you know? It's hijinks and a man is dead. Look, there's a shot in that video where like a man A guy clearly. I think the

stunt man dies. The car, the car. There's a car that turns into fucking like Yes, that guy is that guy that whoever's in that car looks like fucking Benil, man. That's great. Look, if, look, it's safe

to assume, look, it's safe to assume that there were people that already exited their vehicles, hopefully. Because it's like in freaking while they're driving while they're moving. Because you know, like in Spider-Man 3, right? Sure. When he's fighting Sandman. Yes. And their cars just going and the people that

car are not conscious. Right. So people are likely getting speed bumped and cars are getting flying. No, people are getting hurt. And people are, might be, getting killed. Yeah. And it's like this is this- But Spider-Man didn't do that.

He didn't push Flint Marco into the fucking collider and make him sand. He might have been, who knows who he avoided? That's fucking it's it. I know it's crazy. It's a crazy scene and it looks ridiculous and it's like, oh man, I don't like this.

It's not even that it happens. It's that it's not addressed. Like it's supposed to be cool that he's doing that. It's supposed to be cool and fun that he's like, look at it. doing a little fucking improv with the rhino as he's careening into fucking innocent people on the fucking streets of new york that it's not treated as like he's making a mistake chris do you remember in the first avengers movie where he flies up tony flies up the nuke and he blows up sure and all

the chitari start falling out of the sky yes you know how many of them they probably landed on buildings full of people or just right on people you know it's like it's not but that's a no-win situation because like you're fighting extinction versus people are going to die but it's like idea is like we don't we don't see the victims on purpose we don't see the harold individuals on purpose saw the victim that guy got flattened we saw the car hopefully no one was in it it was it's an empty car in the middle of the fucking street maybe they saw him come and they were like spider man heading down the the the the musula and they get out the way you're crazy look it's look I understand I for me a long

time ago when I was it I was like hey I got to hope that not that many people died it's moment because if it is, then these heroes not killing these people are fucking ridiculous because a lot of shit happens. Sure. I just think that that comparison point to me was crazy. I'm just like, that is not even

remotely the same. What's going on? Nothing. Just checking something. No, he's getting text messages. Sorry. Now you're good. But anyway, I'm going to read the rest of this. I'm an absolute chat who plays RuneScape. I thought you'd like know there's a quest that recently came into the game about helping some random dude enter the milk

market in town long story short instead of real milk they were jerking off a bull and you were forced to drink it yes this is real and canon this is in runescape what is going on i missed runescape i didn't i didn't uh i didn't fuck around with it so like i have no i have no nostalgia i have no memory. I have no feelings about RuneScape at all. I think I've only seen Friends play it in 2006, so I don't know anything

about it. I don't know anything about the tone or the writing. If you can't tell him, stalling. Because Kingston is... You're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, Rulscapes are interesting.

You suck. All right. We'll get this last one and then we'll go into... Rulescape's been off the effort. for some time now. Rooske's been off the air for some time now. I can't believe that game still get an update. I don't even understand. People still play it, man.

How? What are you doing? What is it? I don't know. No people play games. You know, people come in and they play it. But isn't it just sitting there clicking on the...

Like, it's not... You're not even moving around in that game, right? It's not even, like, active. It's every PC game, though, for the most part. People click and you go. I don't know, man. That's barely a video game to me. That's crazy.

What's a video game to you then? It's active. I think video games are hyperactive. I think video games you have to have pretty direct input on like a lot of things that are having. You know, if you're just kind of like sitting there clicking, I don't know, if you're telling a person to go somewhere in a video game, it's like, I get it still a video game. I'm being a little bit prestigious. But if they feel less gamey to me. I got it.

Let me see. Who are you? I'm gay. A gay dick rider rode in. Oh, nice. These names, man. Oh, it's Spider-Man one. Hey there, cockboy.

My son and I are working our way through all the Spider-Man movies. We're about to watch Spider-Man 2. And then I realized when we watched Spider-Man 3, his first exposure to an on-screen Venom is going to be Eric fucking Foreman. What is the best on-screen portrayal of Venom, in your opinion? On-screen or just, like, in media. I'm going to say in media, because on-screen, you're limited pretty heavily. It's just, it's literally just Spider-Man 3 and the Venom movies, which are not fantastic.

So, depending on how old your son is, I varies, right? The animated series probably, right? On screen? Yeah, he's a villain in that one. He's like, these guys is a fucking villainous ticket, yeah. Yeah. Between that one, there's also the spectacular Spider-Man one

is pretty good as well, too. I think any animated material is probably pretty solid. Like, I don't think he's been done particularly poorly in anything that's been... I just think the movies are the only things to do him kind of really. Venom in the newest game is very good. Oh, yeah, Spider-Man 2, the video game, Venom is very good. But the problem is that it's Harry Osborne.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not. It's not Eddie. I thought that was cool, but like, yeah. I think it's a cool plot twist. Yeah. But it's like it's, it's. Yeah.

It's like not, it's not Eddie. So it's like, it also kind of, I don't know. I have my, I have my issues with that game. What? It just kind of fades.

Just, it just kind of ends. I like that game a lot. It's a good, it's a good game. It's a lot of moving parts. It's a worse story than the first game by like a lot. It's a lot of moving parts and the moving parts does sacrifice a lot of quality of the game.

Yeah, which I do agree Because he were like Spider-Man so weak in that one And I was like, I don't think he's weak I think he's just been going through a lot of shit He goes to the ringer in that game Like it's pretty bad Like the first game he has a really tough time Especially at the end

That second one He gets hurt pretty bad a lot He does get pretty bad a lot He does get back scene is this is that scene is real It's probably a real moment where he gets And he's just like Oh Did you play Spider-Man too again

He got trapped under a fridge yeah, after having an alien on his body, fighting a gigantic lizard, fighting a venomized version, no, that's before, a venomized version of his girlfriend. Yeah. It's like,

he's had a tough go at things, guys. He's not having a, he hasn't slept up, pretty sure. Yeah, I think, but yeah, the animated series, spectacular Spider-Man. I haven't seen spectacular Spider-Man, but I would imagine it's probably fine.

It's probably good. I, what endeared me to Venom as a kid was the PS-1 game, because he's a joke in that game. He's so silly in that one. He is so silly, but it is,

it is. surf the web. It's going to get really technical. It is it is kind of it's like a child it's a more childish version for sure but it is technically like

the relationship is a little bit more accurate than it isn't like the cartoons or stuff like that. I haven't seen spectacular so I can't speak to that. But in the animated series he's more of just like a villain like Eddie is misunderstood

or whatever not even really but like in dirt he's a jerk but he's not like in that PS1 game he is a villain and he he can't stand Spider-Man, but like, they do work together in that game? Yeah, Spider-Ven-Vet.

Which was the coolest thing to me. The thing about Venom is this, right? Venom is a antagonist of Spider-Man. He's not exactly a villain. Sure. That's the difference, right? People that cost by Venom are villain or villain is like, you are not correct. Well, they're just using an interchangeable.

He really doesn't like Spider-Man. They both hate Spider-Man, but he's not a villain. He's not out here blowing up cities or robbing innocent people. Right. But he will eat someone He will eat someone You remember Ultimate Spider-Man Where you could

You could eat people You could hold him in That was that That was crazy That was you do with the Spider-Man If you had a boss fights with him And it's like dude Spider-Man's like

Please get me out of here Yeah That game was really cool I love it also Spider-Man I wish I could play it I can actually I'm curious You could mod it

I remember I thought it was okay I had fun playing it I thought the story was actually really cool Yeah It was interesting I love fighting Wolverine.

I thought it was really hilarious. I think I just played that game to death and I got really bored of it because it was the only game that I was playing for a while. I remember the thing is that saving because I didn't have a memory card to time for some reason.

So we got some call-ins. We got some voicemails from our lovely patrons over at patreon.com. I said, tarnartank. Remember, you can get your shit heard on the air if you have something interesting to say.

We'll see. We'll see, man. We'll see how these go. they've been odd so far I started taking a long time I'm listening to our first time Patreon I just want to ask

what is like a rare piece of media that you think you're the only person to have seen or like one of the only people that have seen for me I watched the Emperor's New Groove TV show nobody I talked to

even knows that that even existed I've also seen the Lion King one and a half half before I saw the Lion King won. And I also saw the Aladdin sequels. Nobody I have known, even knows of the ages. So, I'm seeing here of you guys. That is crazy.

I love the idea that you saw, so you saw, are you saying that you saw the Emperor's New Group TV show before the Emperor's New Group? Because if that's true. The Emperor's New School, right? I remember that show. And then Cruz Goes New Groo's New Groove, right? Crohn's New Groove.

Okay. I remember that. Yeah. For me, it was the Shapes I brought up today. That's fine. I don't think any other human being in this country watch the Shapies. For a while, it was Crashbox for me because, like, I knew Crashbox and nobody that I knew even heard of that, even remotely.

And then, like, but I don't know. It's cheating for me because, like, I get to talk about these things and then people hear them and then they're like, oh, I've known that. So, like, but in my, in my circle, nobody fucking knows what Crashbox is. You know? That was like, people thought I was fucking insane. It's like, oh, it's a Claymation HBO show for kids where they do like fucking skits and they teach math. And it's like stop motion and claymation and weird.

And they got like puppets and like construction paper and there's a fucking revolting slob and he teaches you how to spell or something. It's, it sounds crazy. That's nuts. Look up Crashbox if you have it. That shows crazy. It's fucking very bizarre. It's very fun. It's very fun watch.

I was enchanted by. I have. have a distinct memory that that show to me. Do you have shows or like any media that's like tied to like foods? Like or like specific flavors. It's tied to SpaghettiOs to me for sure. Crashbox is tied to, uh, ice cream sandwiches. Let me spaghetti. Because I would always come home from school. We'd stop off at the at the gas station right next to my apartment. We'd pick out, I'd get an ice cream sandwich and a snapple. I would come home and I would watch Crashbox and I would be eating. So like it's like when I,

when I see footage of Crashbox, I can taste a fucking, uh, an ice cream sandwich. There's a song called You shine a lights on to me At 2 star The fucking Ellie Golden song Oh Because the lights don't stop you turn Yeah lights by Ellie Golding

So that song is attached to donuts If I hear that song I can smell and taste Dunkin' Donuts Oh that's interesting Because I heard it so much when I was working Fuck Dunkin' Donuts God damn I associate the proud family

With Halloween also I don't know why So Halloween candy, like whenever I have Candy corn? No, not just like literally just Reese's. Like when I have Reese's, I think of the proud family. Because I remember, I have a very vivid memory of just watching the proud family on like one Halloween and just gorging myself and all the Reese's I got. I think of the hot mom.

She was fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They knew how to make hot moms. Every Disney mom's attractive. I think most cartoon moms are. You know, as long as they're not like, dependent.

depicted as the old ladies. No, I guess XJ9's mom wasn't hot. It's a you. Yeah. Jenny! Jenny! But like most of that, I mean,

Dexter's mom had it going on. She had something. Yeah, I think most cartoon moms are hot. Dexter's mom. Who else? Jimmy Neutron's mom is like, I hate the hair, but like,

there's probably something there. I think everybody in that universe is ugly, though, so it's kind of a problem. I think, I think Timmy Turner's mom, I think, had a thing, too. She had like a waste. Yeah, this is mom's in general. Yeah, this is my, yeah.

They knew what they were doing. Hey, shut out 90s, man. By the way, I'm not going to do this. That's crazy. A good one would be. Oh, man. The Pispinini joke. The whole Pis Panini, like, preamble.

No, it can't be something that we've done. It's got to be, you know what I mean? Like, it's get, like, we have the power to, like, send an alert everywhere. global? Yeah, well, you know, national, I guess. Oh, man. Tornadoes and shit. Tornadoes, I love the idea that he has the ability to do that.

Wee woo. Oh, we woo, we woo. I like that. That's a good one. I do like Patrick going to wee woo. That's not a bad, it's not a bad answer. What else? I don't know.

There's, um, I don't know, man. I think, what's a, uh, you know what I want that video of the guy, of the guy, going on a diatribe against that that dude who eats the black the bloc the muck bang out I want that I want that on repeat just for at least three to four minutes

for at least three to four hours that's as long however long the tornadoes going on how long do you think it takes for someone to hear the NWRFer them that genuinely not care at all about it like at all boy like how long can it play it on this loop

the same for it over and over again at a certain point they're like am I hearing things can't be real right I don't know I think it would be quick, though. It'd be quicker than you think. Anyway, that's going to be our show for the day. Hopefully next time Derek is back.

He recovers from his death. That's a good one. What do you think of? I'm going to send a drawing board. I'll bring it back. We'll bring it back to you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing?

Oh, yeah. So we're going to read the names now. You're going to count me down. And remember these are the $25 enough patrons whose names can be read at the... Whose names are read at the end of every show. If you want that to fucking happen, you know, you know what the...

You fucking know what you know what to do. Come on. What are we doing? What are we doing here? I see you're texting. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Count me down. All right. Three, two, chum.

We made Charlie Squirt. We are so fucking gay. Young Grain of Sand. Chris's most love. loved music group produce snakes Imagine dragons Killer Killer

Wow man Okay You really don't like me You guys Chris Chris is most Yeah That really made That winded me

I'm tired Took a jog in New York City And now I have knee grow fatigue You're not even that black No he's saying knee He's like his knees He means both Nobody's saying his knees

I know who he means both Right but it's spelled K Oh What is he saying though She tau on my setty To life four

Game Informer I hardly know In 1985 I like Dick I like cock When did Chris Hemsworth Become a dad bod I don't know

Uh Somebody just not walking around Royed out That usually Yeah probably He's all his void weight Is going away Uh

The Great Unwashed Spud Kingston In a death sprint home To squeeze fresh shit out of Ming like a Chinese goger. Oh, you weren't here for that. You were out of the room. Me and Derek were talking about how like,

I said you, yeah, we were doing like, ah, it's me, it's me, Kingston. Well, you were gone. What'd you say? We were saying like, I gotta go play Marvel rivals. And we were like, I can't, I still can't believe you play that Chinese shit. And you were like, I love Chinese shit. I eat Chinese shit. Let me just did a little improv about you squirting Chinese shit in your mouth. Fantastic.

Truly, truly comedy legends. Amen. Amen. Not every season's banger. Sometimes most aren't. Chris's dad doesn't have PTSD. He has great memories. The dumb slut that didn't get fired because they factually on camera did nothing wrong.

There you go. Nice. Congratulations. Let's go. On your battle with HR. A different sad guy from Michigan. Louis Armstrong singing We Are Charlie Kirk, but with a little bit of swagger. Cole Brew King, Alpha V, the gayest Bronco fan in the history of being gay.

Buy a man eat fish, he day. Teach fish man to a lifetime. And rounding out of this is always King of Abassard. Nape Riggers. Nice. You really got me. Cash Patel, Warrior. of Valhalla, Big Chrissy.

Oh boy, episode 401. I must have missed 400. Let's see. You didn't. You did now, though, if you're... Ouch. Don't worry. Don't worry, we fixed it.

It's a me, that Malik guy. Dolly Parton is in the Epstein files. Yeagam Nadravis, the W is pronounced like a V. The transporters. The only remaining Starship Kanamam fan on this Baron Ir. bringing an all-spark fragment to Osama bin Laden's Oceanic Graves so I can resurrect him like Megatron.

Emmett Till, game-born, Ad Vosborn. Chris Gay? Crazy taxi, but it's just a man filing his taxes. I don't even mind me if I fucking had to do that. Crazy taxes. Whoa, I owe that much. Later. Where did all it go? Where did all my extra money go?

Dead. Yeah. Welcome to crazy taxes. It hurts. You want to join the IDF? Yeah. The Dead Spider, this program brought to you by rape whistles. For when you're going to get, for when you're going to get, not when you're going to do.

Oh, okay. I think I get it. I think I get it. Can you explain it? Wow. Can you explain the joke to me? I really do. When you're.

So you would. Chug down Spunk by Gaylo Mars That's a good name actually Gain O Mars No chug down Spunk Chug down Spunk That is pretty good actually A bunch of red squares

Benjamin Netanyahu DeCeer of Goyam Chris when you read this Sween will forget he was gay Delta Gamma literally fed this toddler last week Why is this little crying? Climulus Spy the 3rd There you go Blue Sanghili

You sir Guildmaster Timmy Turner wishing everyone were Israelis Instead of gray blobs that's crazy I remember that episode The Grey Blab episode Yeah That's kind of a classic

It's a great episode Yeah I'm going to kill the resin With the mortar Coming on Derek Until he aryan Homeboys be calling me Kangaroo Jack

The way I'd be hopping On that nut sack Chainsaw Chud Alec Baldwin slipping And tripping towards you While accidentally Reloating the Requiem Whoa

Whoa That's fucking crazy A POWW gun What a scary fucking visage, man. Him having a record would be really upsetting. Yeah. I wonder how strong that gun, like, really is. I mean, very, dude.

Did you play the game? It's quite strong. It's pretty tough. Scytheria is Marcus Phoenix's squirt sense. That's crazy. That's crazy. I've got to visit Scytheria. I've got to get my game back.

I've got to learn to squirt right. Nice. Uh, gistifie piss gun. Oh. Pie jizzing in his pie jizz drawer. Are you saying pidge's? Like pishiz. Pugizzing in his Pajiz drawer.

Berserger, Broleys, bang bus size, beinus, the Slocre 2, why so derby? It's time to destabilize the Middle East. Uh, uh, urethra Franklin. Nothing sacred. Nothing. trying to bring a meteor right down right in the right in the room just crashing down you could do that and destroy all humans

again and destroy all humans too there's a gun that summons meteors big ones like it's over like it's like this like oh it's like this should do more than just destroy this building but like okay I know a white guy named Jalen Jay Leno stupid fucking joke

hey Derek you look a little cold over there let me warm your cock with my ass oh I the king of Wack bastards. Tank is the trash man. Sweeney's four-ply ribs. The king of haphazard. Elsa,

Elsa, El-Suk, Yardik. Nice. The Star Tank's resident V-tuber. Derek Knuchov and his innocent and hashtag Freem around that Asian, walking around undiagnosed, but pretty sure. Sweeney be like... DIR!

I don't know. I don't know. I can't explain. The king of haphazard. Chattel slavery created the concept of race, so it's definitionally worse than other slavery. Okay. Getting three jobs to pay off spiral, which means other slavery is better.

So there's better slavery. So there's technically, there's a slavery that's, there's a type of slavery that's like, bro, that's a 9.5 on how good it is. That's not the cause. That's not what they mean. I mean, it's, slavery is bad in general, but there is slavery that is worse. But there's a best slavery. But there is worse. Saying that there's a best.

The best slavery. Say it as a best slavery is so fucking destructive to the point people are trying to make. But that is definitionally true. If there is a worse slavery. Technically, yes, but you can just say there are slavery that had worse things a part of it. It's kind of like saying there's been a worst child. There's been a funniest child murder, you know, for sure.

No, yes. But I understand. But when you say funniest, it desensitizes. It's supposed to say there are child murders that are worse than others. Right. Which means the ones that aren't worse or better. It means the same thing, but it's the way you're speaking. That's all it is.

I'm simply saying the same thing. I don't think I'm saying anything different. Kingston thinks there are that some slaveries are better. I think there are slaveries that are really cool in comparison to others. Do you hear what I'm saying? Do you hear what you're saying? You think that there are slaviors that are kind in comparison to other ones that are way worse. There are former slavery that are worse than others.

That's it. That is how you say that. I mean, I just hear you're mirroring the same thing back in it. You're choosing to say it in the worst way possible. And even though we have the same sentiment, you're a cunt for saying. saying it like that. I don't know.

I don't think we're saying different things. We aren't. So what's the issue? The way you're saying it. What are you? A woman? It's my tone. That's insane. Insane.

I don't like the way in which you're completely correct. Be correct differently. Be corrected a way that's wrong. Getting three jobs to pay off Spiro's gambling debt. Chop suey, but all the words are grenade. Queen of fab hazard, shooting web, Spider Cash, and Sean Uncle Trump. Bald, blue-eyed German man waiting for the Expedition 33 movie with Sweenas Lune flying around the screen.

Resin Evil 7.5 haphazard. Popping a boner at the sexual content in the names. Snark Tank's honorary leftist, Chris Fat Gay Gun. Fat Gay Gun. Thugzilla watching Mecca Obama versus Mecca Bin Laden. Swing set for GTA glitch. Chris, you could be a killer fan boy. Star tanks gayest Hollywood undead fan

Emilio the chosen one This Way up V have some Some have pooped knives I have a piss ladle Nice nice one Hey kids do you like Guy Dick Do you want to go behind Walmart And get fucked and he ass like I did

What is that woke M&M? That's crazy So dumb Sween would look so good as a trans woman Big meaty stinks Canola Joe hope Chris gets pregnant And dies during childbirth That's so crazy Jesus fucking first of all impossible

Second of all cruel That's so brutal That is really fucking brutal That is the worst way to die literally That scares the shit out of me That idea Oh my God It's way more common

It's way more common I know it's like 90% No It's like 30 at best It's pretty high Still pretty high yeah I wouldn't get on a plane with those odds I feel like you do

You do every time No planes have a way higher likelihood of being okay I feel like you do every single time. What are you saying? I feel like every time you're on a plane, it's way higher. You know, I have to fly soon. I hope, rest of luck, you know? Man, gay actor.

What? I'm just, I'm just, hey, do you have any facts? There are some, so, like you said before, it's the way you say, say things, you see? No. Well, good, good conversation. Gay actor Rosebud Delicious. Chewing dick like laughy-taffy. Sorry, I can't.

had a burrito. Walk into a club like, what up? I like to suck cog. I also deserve a Grammy more than anyone else. What is that? Was that supposed to be?

Is that someone? I don't know. Whatever. Heath watching a Japanese Taco Bell from a Venezuela like kids. Who said that? Who said that?

Gay inward. Gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and weird. Stay still inward. Still inward. Is that the story of fucking OJ? Is that? Oh my God.

That's kind of a bar but like in the dumbest way possible. Gay. still lanware that's crazy shout out to gay lean uh uh Sweeney's making me

racist homophobic and fatphobic Ken Dick Ken Dick Lamar Mr. Orlin the big anal That's funny Stupid fucking garbage Mr. Orr on a big anal's funny

Yeah Sorry Damn Panicked Panicked Where'd my Pisco Where'd my Piscoe Imagine having to pee in

Nothing comes out and you're like, wait, the sensation's gone. Someone stole this for me. That's crazy. That would be frustrating. Stop stealing my piss. Go ahead. Speak a little Chinese form, Derek. Rosebud delicious. We're ending soon.

A jackal. A jackal. Jackal. It's a jackal. Jackal. Jackal. It's a jackal. Jackal. I love that fucking seed, man. It's a good skit. It's not even clever. It's just fucking garbage.

It's a good. The delivery is all of it. It's pretty solid. It's pretty good. Chris, me your man milk, I'll suckle on you. That's okay. The queen of systematic cardboard pie, horrors beyond your comprehension.

Greg. Gresneg our lover? That's crazy. I made the suck and fuck list. I tag you all on Twitter at Franken tubby. I think I did see this. I think I think Derek interacted with it. Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind podcast with special guest Chris Barnes to the tune of the noose

and 311 guy to the tune of down. I gotta be honest, I don't even know who the fuck Chris Barnes is. I don't, and I don't know down by 311. Investigate 311. Investigate 311. Empathetic Sween on epitaph,

saying epitome, hiding an epipen from an epileptic because he called him an epi-Igir. How do you feel? How are you doing over there, man? You okay? I'm glad I can't see. Four weeks since episode 399,

scarecrow's in the dungeon That was a bit that we did at some point Right there was I feel like that's something That's tickling a memory that I can't quite If I kitchen in a dungeon I remember that really well But that's also the little racist Yeah well Gune Devil the Man Without Come Booty Wonderland Earthwind and Dick

I find bromance when I start to dance booty wonderland Hey Hey Hey Hey Dead Sand's Booty Wonderland King of Habazard You're not getting gayer you're just getting gay Smitchie the Gay Mr. Jimmy Jam Gay Man's Secret Identity Bruce Gain Max Silhouette Flatbush Frank

Alex Jones after watching the snart tank They're turning the songs gay Purposely running over butterflies when mowing Maycar bodyguard skepticism Sister Openfield Star coffee pressure cooking Sweens greasy balls in my ass Jesus

Oh God Hainous First citizen of haphazard Yush Black Hole peace The commune The commune chills out I'll suck off a thousand gay men

Before I let this limp biscuit dry Is that Monsters Inc? That's insane. Sad blur would be like Ha! That is so dumb. Sad blur would be like Boo!

Do you know that? Do you know that song? Woohoo. And I feel heavy metal. Boohoo is dumb as fuck. That era of music was fucking interesting, man. Yeah. I love that song because it's like

it's intentionally a joke. Do you know that about that song? I don't know that song too well. I know it. They wrote that song because they were like, I guess we'll just write crap because people like crap and then it's their biggest song. That happens a lot. That's a curse thing to do. You can't do that as a musician.

You can't be like, we're going to set out to write the biggest piece of shit we could ever write because it will be the thing you have to play forever. Yeah. It's like Savior. Rising is going to cut that off the album. Really? And now it's like the only, they like it, I think. I don't think they hate it, but like it's not the same. But like they're like, yeah, we're going to cut this.

That would be crazy. That would have been crazy. It's like the song on that album. Craig of the Canadian and the King of the North. Who up beetle in their boards right now? It's your boy, Shawnee D. The court jester of haphazard. At Grok is this true?

And finally, the real king of haphazard. Merch idea, trading cards from all the bullshit you come up with. If I had nine lives, I would use eight of them to blow my shit smooth off in front of people over minor inconveniences. Of course. Game of the year guy just beat uncharted one and two, moving on GTA 4. America be like, feed kids. Loll, I'd rather bomb them. in sixth grade i got in trouble for laughing at footage of the challenger explosion

drip mh lord of all drip barney's beanery is that the place where they make all the mexicans nice make build dick so dirty they call me richard nixon colmori already is a self-proclaimed zionist it's a me mormon mario ben ten watch that lets you turn into ten different sex offenders kremlin the gremlin where can i find snark tank furry art. Hopefully nowhere. With your ingenuity.

Hopefully nowhere. Unfortunately somewhere, probably. Don't say that. I mean, I'm sure of it. Don't say that. I might have manifested it just now. Don't say that. Shot Uncle Bandicoot.

That's my uncle. That's my uncle. Yeah, the mask is wasted. He doesn't have a mask. anymore. No. He got shot three times because it's how many times it takes for the mask to go that'd be funny if it's uh and also uh who else Eddie Brock is uh what's his name Nitro I don't know what's name of the big one crunch who tiny no crunch is the big the big is the big antipaned bandicoot no no

I guess yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dead on the street. Sham Wild Guy went on Timcast. Last but not least, King of Have Asher, teenage Sweene makes Raps, making raps be like Sweeney on the mic. My girl left me for a fucking dyke starts crying. Holy shit. That's the

rap. I don't think that's ever happened. I don't think so. I don't think I turned anyone gay. I think I've, I've certainly have not. I don't think I've dated girls that have said they're gay and it's like you're not, you're... Yeah. The Joker want to know how I got these scars. Washleigh, 580. Pupini Bros. Presents Hideo

Gets the voice in the last smiling friends episode. It gets all done now. It's all done. The final episode. They did air yet or no? Yeah, they got them all out. It's crazy. Crazy, man.

Crazy. Hopefully you can see Zach again. That'd be cool. Yeah, maybe. Hopefully to see him again. Don Gunkerson, Homeless Chris. Gay thoughts or son-daughter, Pee, yelling, he has a gun during an ice protest,

during an ice arrest so my town can be on the news. That's so crazy, man. makes it a cowardice murderer is hilarious there's a gun there just like with a fucking look of satisfaction what a dick ellips right in front of the cameras

I don't know what happened someone must have misjudged the situation follow me on Instagram it's crazy I yelled gone in Charlottesville follow me on Instagram ellipsis I want to know have you ever been gay

coming on gay Jason Todd's defense lawyer Dr. Jonas Cumbrave John Strickland Ceasefire Didn't even last 24 hours Classic Israel The first church of key David presents

Straight crackers from planet Earth Lee Harvey Obama Pre-Rawes the Broke-Rogan experience Call My Bitch SeaWorld The way I made their They make their zone splash Nice, good job The trio

Reenact Wallace's death Chris is Wallace Oh my god Derek here The lights fading It's getting dark It's getting dark Cromit

I see a light At the end of the tunnel My teeth It's cheese What if he starts Bachelorset's teeth in The dog What do you mean grommet hits it

Hits him in the mouth breaks It's fucking jog He just has always hated him He just wants to like beat him Into the afterlife Well no he's like He knows he's dying He's like I guess I'll be a kind of

person and put him out of his misery. So it's a kindness that he's doing him? He thinks he's doing him? Well, he's still beating him. My fucking skull. I don't know. I'm getting really tired. My heart is stopping.

It's irregular. You can't just let me die. I was going the way out anyway. I was peacefully leaving and now I'm scared and scared. Why are you putting the hammer in my nose? What's my name? What's my name? It's getting dark and cold.

It's infinitely cold. Stupid. Napster of Puppets, it's king dad of haphazard. What if the Big Bang was the gun going off in God's mouth? Mecca bin Laden Sorges is a really big plane Alternate reality

Where Kingston becomes a nurse But still uses his phone When his patients are dying That's good That'd be cool Monkey Monks monkey monastery Don't call it a comeback I never stopped coming

Young Sweeney Fucking up The Nehijer joke To his grandma And getting beaten Well Won't be the first time Yeah

Call me 007 zero money, seven suicide attempts. That's a good one. It is good. Zero pussy, zero money. That's Jordan. Zero failures.

This is Jordan. I don't think that's Jordan. That is Jordan. That is Jordan. I'm not making that. He had a few good ones. He had a few good ones that I saw. Zero pussy, zero money.

Seven suicide attempts is crazy. Bars. I love that it's Nicky's picture. Smooth off, you say. That was Jordan, by the way. Dick's so dirty. My piss comes out in plops. You're piss coming out in clumps is fucking distressing.

Oh my God, I can smell it. Oh, God. Bowby da Albo. Cratos picking up my mirror and kissing him for nine straight minutes. Seductive Cthulhu. A kneel with a caveman wearing Bose of the Clon's Pelt as a trophy. Voicemail Bitrate couldn't transmit Morse code. The snark tank riding the cock carousel of the R.E.

franchise, including Mr. X and Nemesis and making a tier list for their extra ammo. We could do a Resident Evil tier list. We could. We could do that. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. Peasants Graham. Ethereum has the past because he took Colosses' hard ass. Progerian Hunter's fermented cream pie.

Jesus. Frying bacon with my shirt off. Marcus Chief and Cortania. And rounding out our list as always, the original King of App Hazard with the new and improved profile picture. Look at that. We did it. Hopefully Derek will be back next time. he's not dead.

Hopefully. He's dead. He's dead. Hey man. Strange things have happened. Remember that so strange things.