The Snark Tank - #404: Dave Chappelle is Coping

Episode Date: April 27, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

Welcome to the Snartag. You're about to get your music glazed by the great Chris Racon, Derek Blackman, and Tom Sweeney, sit back. Welcome to the Star Teng podcast. It's me, Chris. It's him, Derek. I was going to say Derek's gone, but then I mixed up the sentences. I'm tired, man. Who cares? I guess, man. I don't know. That's Sweeney. Derek is sick still. He was murdered again. Yeah, Derek got resurrected. He coughed a few times and then got shot in the back of the head by a fucking, I don't know.

Fucking Ayatollah. Yeah, and Ayatollah got him. A rogue Ayatola. A lot of people don't know this. But Ayatollahs are actually their own kind of culture. Like a person doesn't become an Ayatola. It's like a group of people. It's like kind of like aboriginals.

You know? Whereas like, that's, that's an Ayatollah right there. They're born Ayatollahs. They die Ayatollas. You ever met Aboriginal? No, of course not. Wiley-looking fools, man. What?

Wiley. Wiley-looking people. Aboriginals look wily? They look wily. What does Wiley mean? I don't know. Do you really not? I don't know what aboriginals?

You know what aborigals? I just think it was like, I did call them wily. I realized after I said, I was like, oh, that sounds pretty crazy. It's kind of a crazy thing you say. It's a call them savages, and I think that's not the right direction. Unpugee, though. It's a little bit like that. A little bit.

A little bit. No, it's not. Pockito means cute. Like, he's trying to make it cutie. No, what is this? Like, Mikes again? No, that's Puerto Rican. That's not how we do it.

A bit. A bit. A poco. A fucking psycho. A poco means a little. All right. A Pocito means like you're making it cute. Right.

It's not cute. What I just said is racist. That's what makes it funny, fool. That's what makes it cute. That's what makes it cute. Welcome to Star Tank podcast. Patreon. Slash of Snark Tank.

You remember, go over there, fucking do all the shit that you do over there. I don't know. Whatever. The last episode we recorded was a remote episode. You know,

The Finns of Freddy's and they jump at you? What are you saying? You know, Finanx of Freddy's when, like, they did the scare and the animatry's like, rah.

You know what's crazy? I know nothing about Five Nights of Freddy's actually. You are a blessed soul for that. Yeah, I missed it entirely. I remember when it came out, I was like, oh, what's this? I saw people playing it. I saw videos with people playing it.

I remember being like, this looks like I would never play this. And I never did. I played the second one with Lily and her brother. And I got scared really bad. And I seemed like a little girl put the game down, I never played it again. I don't even get scared easy.

I don't know what happened. That's stupid. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened to me. I don't know why I let my guard down that much. Yeah. I opened a closet and then a fox came out and I screamed loud. And I was like, oh, and I just turned off the game.

And I was like, I'm done. Yeah, that's fair. It's fair. I don't know anything about it. I wasn't even scared. I was ashamed. What do you mean? Because I don't frighten easily

Yeah, you do I don't think I do You're afraid of clowns But that's what everybody's Being being Like I'm scared and frightened Do clowns frighten you? Not exactly

It just freak me out If you were going If you were in the bathroom Taking a shit And a clown burst through the wall Really violently If the same thing happened To you also

Okay Okay sorry My apologies The clown burst through the wall While you're taking A violent shit Right And you finally burst

You're screaming You started clawing at your knees and your knee started bleeding would you be frightened yeah well so all right there you go would that not be the same for you I'm not afraid of clowns

you're not afraid of aggressive intruders not clowns so the clown would be like oh what's going on right now I'm a clown well the thing for me if anybody else that you'd be scared so take so here's the thing right if a if a normal person burst into my house let's okay this this is

I promise I'm going to I'm going to I'm going somewhere with us. Let's see. Listen, if a normal person burst into your house in a home intruder situation and I have to self-defend myself, that's upsetting,

right? That's frightening. The main thing that's frightening about that is because if I somehow managed to kill this man, right? Or, like, defend myself properly

to the point where he is no longer a threat, there's a whole case that's going to be made. Because I'm the only witness, he's the only witness, it's going to be hearsay. we're both normal looking people my word is as valid as his

so like I don't really know how that's gonna go that could go in my favor they can go in hit fit it's it's that it frightens me the uncertainty of it okay if a clown bursts into my house and I violently protect myself against it nobody's gonna have a problem with that

I feel like most people are gonna be like yeah a clown burst into his house that's kind of like that doesn't that doesn't that isn't that doesn't negate the idea it couldn't be it couldn't have been like a service person. It couldn't have,

you know what I mean? It couldn't have been like, oh, I'm here to fix your plumbing. The superintendent gave me a key. It's a clown. But what happens is that it doesn't change the fact of how you would feel in the process of it happening.

I would not be... Because you're shitting. You're shitting. Sure. You're shitting hard to. You're vulnerable. You're sweating. You have no clothes on.

You've relinquished your clothes. Sure. And a clown bursts in through where your shower is and your tub going straight through the walls of it wasn't really there even. Right. Like SpongeBob forcing yourself through the fucking hit the wall and fucking crusty crab.

And it's tearing at your knees, hacking at them. Right. Winding up and hacking at them like Ridley does in Smash Bros. Right. You're not going to feel fear at all. You're not going to be brought to a fright state. I'm going to be concerned. Okay, gotcha.

Right. You're more of a concerned guy than a frightened guy. Right, right. I don't frighten easily. I concern very easily. I concern quite easily. But when it comes to being frightened, I'm very resilient to that. I have a very high, I have a very high bar for frightened.

But concern is. Concern is bare minimum. Is that because you're so concerned all the time, it's hard for you to get frayened? Maybe. Like, are you so, are you, you put so much energy to hear your fright meters, like, it takes a lot. I think I've, how quick it is, then if I'm concerned to frightened, how big is this? Like, I'm thinking like, this is like, if this is the whole scale, right? This is the scale of your emotions capacity at the moment, right?

The water bottle? Yes, right? Like this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's say, let's say. this is how much of you stays frightened all the time. Sure, sure, sure. About at this level, right?

About at this level. Okay. Yeah, yeah. How much of it is frightened and then fear? So I think what it is... When does it turn into frightened? How much frighten you have before church is like terror? So you're terrified.

So frightening is sudden fear, right? Okay. Would you agree? Because fear is like general, right? Like you can have fear about the future. You can have fear about like general anxiety. Fear is the overall. feeling, almost of fright is like the, uh, it happening randomly, like the spontaneous nature.

But what I'm saying is like you, there's no dull sense of frightened. Like, you can't be frightened for a dull, long period of time. Frightened is, is inherently sudden. Yeah, it's sporadic. Okay, good. Okay. So I think what it is, like, I've, I've been microdosing fright. Oh, okay, guys. So now your, now your fright, your fright meters higher. My fright meters higher. I'm fright resilient. Okay, gotcha. But you can be frightened. It would take some. a lot to frighten you, but the point at that moment, it might just be fear. I might only be terror at that moment. Yeah, at that point, like, at the point at which I can frighten, it's already at the point where it should be fear or terror, like, not fear, terror.

Okay, because terror is big fright. Like the ground falling out underneath me. That's a real fear I had. I had a real fear of sinkholes for a while in my life. Really? Yeah, because I saw one on TV in Florida one time, and I was like, that can happen to you? You know what's crazy? It happens a lot specifically because of rain and shit and like water.

What bothers me is that like how dare we build structures after things like that exist? It's like how do we have the audacity to think, oh, I own this land. No, you don't. Well, the issue. The ground owns it. Technically, you can just take it from you. Well, technically we do that. Like we create the sinkholes.

Really? I thought sinkholes has happened. I mean, I could be wrong. I'm sure they happen naturally elsewhere. Ground, carry fall the ground out beneath someone and then knock over the last little beam of ground and it house falls in the floor. As I understand it, it's usually like water mains and like plumbing that like leaks and saturates the ground to the point where like it just begins to cave. So like it, which doesn't happen typically all that naturally. That's so fucking bewildering.

I can't deal with like, I can't. It's like quicksand and fucking tar pits and shit. It's like this is just. What is it tar pit? A pit of tar. What is tar? I don't know. A black rock, I don't know.

That's a good question, though, isn't it? I think tar is like some sort of oily substance that based off fossils. Something involving, like, fucking, like. I don't know anything about tar. Something involved in fucking. I skip the tar lesson in, um, what is it, earth science? You went straight to guitar instead of tar. Wow.

We're going to move on to some questions. Don't look at. I tried, okay? I'm trying out here. I know. It's just two of us. It's off. We need a ping pong.

You know, we need like one. I needed Derek to rage bait. Yeah, yeah. It's hard not to have somebody to rage bait sitting next to you. It is unfortunate. He'll come back eventually. He'll come back. He was on the last episode.

The last episode we did was remote. He's editing that one. He's in a facility. Huh? He's in a facility right now. He's in the facility. Yeah, he's underground with chains on him. Right.

In front of a computer. It's clacking away. That's crazy. We talked about doing that to him. What chaining him up? Chaining him up to a computer so he couldn't do anything but edit. It's horrible. Is it?

Maybe not. Maybe I'm just crazy. So what's happened in the news since we've recorded last? Clavikier Odeed. I think we talked a little bit about that. Sad face. He didn't die. Yeah, whatever.

It's fine. What else? Is there something else? I feel like there was something else, but also maybe not? The Street Fighter trailer came out. Do we talk about that? Is it a Street Fighter trailer? For what?

For the movie? It looks fun I guess Yeah I don't know I don't care enough about Street Fighter at all Man Whatever Like Street Fighter is purely a game to me

Like if The idea that people The idea that people know how old These characters are Is hysterical to me Because it's like that's a drawing As far as I'm concerned There's no character there

That's crazy What? It's fighting games There's no story They're not like hyper-depth character But there's character to them Like what? What? What's a Riu's character? He's a wandering Japanese man.

Whoa. Riveting. And he's looking, that doesn't mean a lot. What's Gile? He's American. He's an American fucking good guy, though. He believes in American values. Whoa.

Probably voted for fucking Vance and Trump, but so what? He's a good dude. I don't know, man. Really cool kicks. I don't know. I just don't know what stories you could tell with those people. You can tell stories. Well, the thing is that that's not really the point of it.

Right. The point of it's not. It's like, it's like trying to tell a fucking story about, like, with like, a. I don't even know, like, a telitubby. Like, these are just... A teletubbe can be a person and have a character. They can. It's a little more ridiculous.

What are the differences between the teletubbies? Tell me. They're different colors. Okay, that's it. They're different. They have different forms of expression. No, they don't. Yeah, one has a bag.

One has a bag. It's a little queer, but, you know, respect to that. Then there's another one that has a fucking metric wand or some shit. Another one has a fucking hula hoop. Is this real? Yeah. Do they really have different? different items?

Yeah. I don't remember that at all. I remember a vacuum. Yeah, that was the vacuum. Of course, I would drink up the tubby custard. I wanted the custard so bad when I was little. I was like, that custard looked so delicious. Wasn't his name like Sucko or something?

I don't remember anymore. What was his name? Chris, this is genuinely asking me to go back like 26 years of my memory and be like, hey, what is the name with his telling Tubby? I think it was like Suxterfer or something. Suckstaffir or something. Suxterfers is, that's too far. But Succo is, that's too far. Like maybe, like I don't know.

Hey, Siri. Doesn't even fucking listen to me anymore. Hey, Siri. What is the name of the vacuum from Telitubbies? What does it say? Isn't it crazy how it doesn't tell you? The voice assistant? Fucking useless.

Is Nunu. Oh, it's, that's, what does that have to do? It doesn't have my name's names. It should have been Succo. No, Succo sounds stupid. I think Succo's pretty good. You said it's, you said to yourself it sounded legitimate. it.

Yeah, I guess Succo is what it does, but Duno sounds cuter. Well. My niece's nickname was Nunu. I remember that now. Whose name was Nino? My niece is one of my Niz's nicknames is Duno. If you need everything to say, I get it. Okay.

Well, I guess we're just going to move on to questions because I really don't know what's going on. The whole Dave Chappelle thing happened. Oh, yeah, Dave Chappelle apologizing, or not apologizing, but what was he doing? He was like, I didn't appreciate, I didn't appreciate how, uh, transphobic people and like Republicans were taking my jokes and using them. The jokes you made about trans people. Transphobes used to insult trans people. Curious.

It's been years, bro. Like, what do you mean this just occurred to you? This just occurred to you now? Curious. It is fucking weird. Like, I don't know, man. That's fine. That's fine, I guess, if it took you this long.

I don't think you learned the right lesson. I yeah probably not I don't know I was like David you've had three specials and you've made fun of trans people in all the hoods when you claim it's not gonna make fun of them

what are you doing of course of course we were gonna you look like a transphobe David that's what you look like if you do this all the time yeah if I say hey if it's the only thing you're doing basically if I say hey

it's like well like come come on if I say I hate the gays and I'm like I'm not gonna be gonna give you anymore homos the next three appearances of me and Brayter television Yeah

It's just kind of like Meanwhile he quit his show Because of a white man laughing too hard I wanted his jokes That's the thing about it really About black people And it's like bro That's the thing about it

Is that like You could make whatever You can make jokes whatever I don't really give a shit about Making jokes about anything But to me it's just like I remember watching his special being like, oh, I liked the, what is it,

sticks and stones, I thought it was funny. There was a trans joke in there, and it was a pretty good one. And then, like, the next two specials were, like, so focused on it, where I'm just, like, you're clearly, like, doubling down because it's bothering people,

but it's also boring because I know what the joke is way ahead of time, which is kind of defeats the purpose of a joke. You're supposed to be kind of side, like, you're supposed to be kind of blindsided by a joke, a good one.

I think the problem, and Dave Shippa has done it plenty of times, too, and it bothers me, is that for my perspective, comedy, when it involves a marginalized group, you have to be the butt of the joke. Not them.

That is what I believe. Typically, I think there are ways to make it funny without that rule, but like you have to be good at it. I think you can make it funny without that rule, right? But I think the problem is that it turns to be good at it. It can't be lazy. That's kind of the issue. It's like it became lazy at a certain point.

It turns you have to be informed. You have to be informed by the things that you're saying, you know. Dave is really not informed about. trans people first and foremost. For him to make that many jokes, that many problematic jokes about them, he doesn't understand them very well. Clearly.

So what happens is that when you, when you, like, it's, I believe when like, especially as a person that is another marginalized group, you got to understand what it's like where people to come up on stage as a comedian and watch people tear down your people. You've seen that as a black man.

70s comedy was crazy. Well, the thing, the thing, again, to to really double down is that like he quit his show, he fled. No, exactly. Exactly. Like, he literally left the industry because he didn't like how white people were laughing at his black jokes. So it like, with him in particular, A, you should have learned a variation of this lesson before. Yes.

B, you're too old at this point to pretend like it's ignorance. Like, unless you're senile, which I don't think is true. So, like, I don't know. I don't know what true. because he genuinely doesn't understand that group of people, and I think that's why. Sure. It turns into that.

It turns into like, it's like, this is a problem for me and not for thee. Sure, but like, I just think the conversation gets, the conversation about this gets muddied and like, oh,

you should make jokes at all. Or that kind of thing. Or even that there are like hard, fast rules. Like the, I'm telling you, Dave. Not that he's listening. I'm telling you, David Chappelle.

He's like, he's in his house with his hand on his, having a cup of whiskey in his hand. My favorite podcast, they called me out. I wonder. And I fucking died. But it really is just like, it just becomes lazy and predictable and boring. And like as an artist, you'd assume, like even take the, take the, oh, I don't want to bother people out of it.

Take the humanity angle out of it. As an artist, does that not bother you? That you're like stale? I live in two camps, right? Where I'm like, I think I think a joke, I think jokes that are fucked up are funny. Well, yeah, we do, yeah. But I think the problem is that like, for me, my jokes that fucked up are usually heavily aimed towards my demographic of people most of the time. You make gay jokes all the time.

Are you gay? At gay people. At gay people. You're fucking such an asshole. Well, what happens that I make jokes about people being stupid all the time, right? But the thing is that for me is that I, my ignorance about the gay joke is, you know, is the joke. Sure.

Like my reaction to being so aggressively homophobic is the joke. I'm the asshole. Anyone that portrays that skill? I'm not a comedian, mind you. I'll go for it. As you all know here, guys. I'm no comedic genius. Right.

You're a Grateful Dead fan. Hey, man. I like three, four, eight, 19 of the albums, okay? So what? There are that many? No, there's like six. That's really? Just for the Grateful Dead?

Six, yeah. There's only six Grateful Dead albums? They might have a bunch of singles. This is an old group, man. That's what I'm saying. It's like they're old, right? Like there must be like at least. I think there's like.

Rising answer is like plus 10. Yeah. They also never stopped technically. Yeah, but did the Grateful Dead stop? I think the thing they got gratefully died. Are they all dead? No, I think a few of them are dead. I think one of the one or two of the original group are dead.

Unfortunate. I'm grateful. But like, yeah. So things like that is like I try to make it like the joke is like, hey, me being this homophobic is the joke. Mm-hmm. anyone that lives like this mentality like someone that's like someone that would just say the N word

randomly at a fucking at a bar mitzvah right someone asked him you want some lot soup that's crazy and that's the joke right it's the person that would behave in that manner that would be a reaction a reaction you know but like for Dave it's like look I understand you are

you are making jokes because obviously you have to talk about the jokes have to come from some place of realness but I think it was shanguilis right when he makes the jokes about his his uncle that has Down syndrome The way he does it is literally perfect It's like he does it perfect Shane Gillis has a great job of like doing that kind of edgy comedy

Where it's like it doesn't feel like it's Where it's like the joke It doesn't feel like there's like a like vitriol behind it It's like I don't think he's the funniest guy ever I think he is funny but I think he's the funny But I think his jokes about people And other groups of people are funny because He's the joke

Every time In the day it's like well my uncle's living his best fucking life And I'm here Fat stupid and I look half as they're talking as he does. And it's like, God damn. And like, that's the joke. You know, it's like, all right, get it. It nicked me. It licked me. It licked me. I had to weave it. You know, like that's funny. It's good. Yeah. You see, that's why I see it as it was, like, as a, like, as a person, it's picking another marginalized group of people person that has had to stand up

on his morals for his own, like, respect of himself as like a person. It's like, Dave, this feels so stupid. You feel so dumb. Yeah. Like, come on, bro. how many times you said the N-word on fucking television and people have laughed too hard at you? Yeah, I don't know. It's whatever. Man, sometimes people get old, man. This happens.

People just get old. Yeah, you get old. You're a boomer, bro, unfortunately. You get out of touch. Dave Chabelle's made me laugh too hard too many times for me to care too deeply about it, but it is annoying. Because it's just like, just shut up. Just shut up and just do other material.

It hurt me. Huh? It hurt me. It hurt me. I'm like, David. Shut up. Dude, I still think about that fucking. Like a little kid joke with a Michael Jackson one.

That one is a fucking golden joke. That's a golden fucking joke, man. Michael Jackson sucked my dick. Fucking crazy delivery on that line. Sky's the limit. That's great. It's too good. It's a great joke.

It is great. That's like almost as good as freaking what you call it? What's it called? Winnie the Pits or Losey the Piss? Let's move the fuck out. Lillian the Piss is a fucking other S-tier joke. I don't want to say that, but it's an S-tier concept. I'll say that.

It's not a joke really because it's just saying something in reverse. It is a joke, exactly. That's not. In the constraints that person was given, in this small box, we gave somebody a box and said, make a fucking beautiful painting. It's like the Vine rule, right? Where it's just like you have six seconds to make somebody laugh. Exactly.

I do think. And losing the piss is absolutely that. I think Vine was lame in a lot of ways. But I do think like the six second limit was a lot more interesting than like whatever TikTok is. Because TikTok is just YouTube. They're almost the same now. Yeah.

It's just doing what YouTube is. At least Vine had like a reason. And Vine had interesting constraints. Yeah. And it led to some very interesting kind of videos. You had to be racist real quick. Like King Badge. Man.

I called him Coon Badge for so long that I forgot his name for a period of time. Well, it's not his name either, to be fair. Lily was like, oh, it's Coon Batch. And I was like, honey, yes, but maybe you can't say that. Coon Batch is crazy. Maybe you can't say that. Yeah, maybe not. I call her Coondis Owens.

Okay, that's not bad. And I've said it so much that my nephew, little kid is like, ooh, Coon. Are you serious? No, he does not. That's crazy. I mean, I can't believe that. No, I'd never, I'd never do that to him. He's too young right now.

Do you care? Yeah, I do. Really? Yeah, I care. Fundamentally? Yeah, I don't want him talking like that yet. Yeah. Like, when he gets older and I...

At what age is your nephew, a lot to say Coon? Like 12 12 That's around the time That's 12 when I'm like That's Xbox Live age I sit them down I'm like there are black people

Who are detrimental to the black People like black people You know And you gotta know who they are Considering you are A black man by association Well I'm gonna move on to questions now

You bet the little one Him that one too Which one? You saw the littlest one When? At my engagement party Engagement party I've been

Zooted for days. Oh, nice. Nice. I'm trying to get geeked and to go to a water park. I'm trying to be high around everybody than I know. Why?

What's wrong? I'm just tired of living in the moment. You want to live out of the moment? You want to live behind our head. Just anywhere else. Just adjacent, I guess, even? The future's living in the future as living in the future in the presence,

great because the presence is not affecting you and you're just thinking about what's not happened yet. So you're kind of in a state of invulnerability. Living in the past is kind of nice, Sort of a little bit. At what point is the future present? Now. But that's right to pass now.

Right there. At any moment when you realize it's the present, it's already the past. The present is not real, is it? It's current. So present is no one state. It's like forever. I don't think the present's real. What do you mean?

It doesn't make sense that the present's real. The moments you are experiencing at any particular time is the present. But there is no sense. But that is also the future. in the past. Yeah, so it's not anything, is it? No, it's all of them.

This is gay. We're gonna move on to some questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tag. Show it with the homophobic remarks. What was it?

Cool with the anti-Semitic remarks. Cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks. That movie's great. It is fucking wonderful. It is a, it's a, man. It's such a bummer. Because the psychopaths

fucking mating ritual. Yeah. Like Alpha Bros. Psychos love that movie. People like, like Fight Club and American Psycho for such stupid reasons. They're such good movies. Fight Club is a good movie.

I prefer American Psycho a lot more, too. But American Psycho is so fucking good. And it bothers me because I know when I say that, like there's enough people who either haven't seen it or only have heard about it to not understand why. Because I remember for the longest time, I thought that movie was a slasher movie. I thought it was like, because the name, you know, No, it's actually, like, genuinely a fantastic movie.

It's so fucking good. Shot by shot performance and then concept. It's all, like, a really good film. Dude, it makes me laugh that movie. It cracks me the fuck up. It's so fucking funny. He's fucking hilarious in that movie. Yeah, I just didn't expect that when I, I walked in going, expecting, like,

fucking, I don't know, Texas chainsaw or something. You know what I mean? Were you there when we saw it at the park? Do you go at this that time? No, I didn't see it at a park. You saw it in a fucking big ass park? I can't remember where I said. I think I just chose.

I think I saw it on HBO Macs one day. And I was just like, I should watch this. Because, like, it's referenced every time. I see this fucking dude walking down the street with the headphones in all the time on Twitter. And I'm like, what is this? I should have seen this by now. And so I just saw it. And I was just like, this is not what I expected at all.

This is great. That's crazy. Yeah. Lily loves that movie. This is in the last, like, four years, too, I think. Really? The last, like, maybe, like, two or three. You went to school for film?

It's like, they didn't watch that shit? I didn't like a lot. Like, I liked, I went, I got into film school because I wanted it. do video game stuff and it was the closest thing that I could find to it I wanted to do like the Vidox you know what I mean

like the Bunggy Vidox that they would do like it would be cool if I could like get some understanding of doing this and like do it for video game studios I didn't really give a shit about like I liked there are movies that I liked but like a lot of times people would be like

oh you could watch fucking what's the big movie that everybody loves in film school oh my fucking God the big one, Citizen Kane. Remember I saw Citizen Kane? I remember me like

No. No. This is not the greatest movie fucking ever made. You're fucking crazy. It is what made modern movies what they are. Yeah, I mean, it's like... It's respectable, but it's not like... It's like Mario 64 to me, where I'm just like, you're

doing a lot of things first. Cool. I respect it. It's not, this is not the... Like, the original Mario Brothers... That's like my... It's one of my guys. I like Orson Wells too, but like I don't even, that's, I think one of the weaker ones.

Really? In my opinion, yeah. You think that's one of the weaker ones? Of him, yeah. Really? I think he's a lot more interesting and damn near every other thing. I think his radio shit is better than all of his fucking movies. Yeah.

The radio shit's amazing. Like, that's a real ass. Orson Wells also as a person is just way more interesting than fucking that movie. But shout out Orson Wells. You guys should, if anyone here that does not really know about that man, look into that man, sort of tragically alcohol. but way more forward thinking than probably people now. Yeah.

It's fucking weird. I love Orson Wells. It's weird, dude. He was there. He was in Austria when a Nazi party got created. He was just like going on doing movie shit. He was like this fucking upstart name Hitler was there before everybody knew. He pitched it as a joke to Hitler.

He was like, you imagine? He was like, Nazis sounds interesting, right? Right? No one would do that, really. Hitler was like, yeah, yeah. And it's probably the Jews. kidding you see the light bulb

you see the light bulb you see the light bulb pop in the line you literally see like there's like a shadow okay like there's like it's like there's a light bulb

over his head you can't see it but you can see the light that it's casting you're like oh interesting I'm gonna go drink

I'm a good one yeah no no citizen came to me is just like it's very like like I understand like it did a lot of cool things first

and it's impressive for that reason but like the idea that people are like still to this day The idea that someone today would sit here and be like Super Mario Brothers 1 is the best video game of all time

Like you're dumb and gay You can have you can talk about impact It's just no way it's not even It's not even the best Mario game Of that plane It's not even the best 2D Mario game Mario 3 trounces it Mario World trounces it

Mario 3 is very good Yeah And Mario 1 I love I have like a deepness of one Mario 1 is the first video game I ever played. It was like the one that I played the... Oh, man. You're that OG. I did not necessarily even close to the first week in my play. It is. It like I read because I had the NES and the A, my sister's PS1 was hers. But like we had the living room NES. And so I played that. I played like

excite bike. They like shouted the ninja. I was on the NES for like the first like several years of my life. And so like I love that original Mario brothers. I love it. It's probably like the one that I, I have the most fondness for. Ain't no fucking way. It's even close. Three is the best one. Three is just the best one. It's just the, I think I always stand on that. I think that is the best Mario game. Right. But that to me is the equivalent of saying Citizen Kane is like the best movie of all time.

I'm like, listen. It's not the best. I would know what I say is the best. It's cool that it did what it did at the time. And I appreciate a lot of it. But like, brother. Is I seen GTA 3 is the best GTA game? It's like it's a good GTA game.

I appreciate what it did. It's not the best. It's not the, like, San Andreas is better. Clearly. Three, yeah, it is. arguably I love 4 People debate that I think 4 has really cool undertones

But it's not my favorite I've very GTA game is fucking sleeping dogs I mean honest It's also valid No it's not No sleeping dogs is not a great game It's just really cool Sleeping Dogs is better than GTA 3

I wouldn't say that You wouldn't say that No Are you serious? Yeah too many Asian characters Like I understand That's valid I understand like I understand

than being a part of it. But like all of it? Yeah, yeah. It's too much. Like, what are you doing? All of it? Like, what does it take place in fucking, I don't know, an Asian country?

Fucking weirdest shit. Getting real fucking fatigue. You know what I'm saying? Double a tundra. Yeah, I don't know, man. Like, that's crazy, right? That Citizen came to be the best movie all time? I would never call it the best movie all time.

I was a film kid. I sat through those classes. I think Citizen Kane isn't even as good as Spider-Man 3. I don't even think Spider-Man 3 is particularly good. I must have been 3 takes a lot from Citizen-K in general, actually. I feel like genuinely, like, a lot of those shots are very Citizen-Cane-esque. But I feel like, I feel like a lot. Actually, it's weird how many I think are shared.

Maybe. Like, he went through, he went from scene for scene. I'm like, that's literally Spider-Man 3 right there. The scene where the, well, there's a Spider-Man 2 cut, I know, in it. Because, like, when the, when the, when the, when the, cameras zooming through the city and then it goes through the eye of uh dog architect was his glasses yeah that's in citizen cane kind of when he's looking down at peter at the bank when it's going through the skylight yeah look i think i respect it i respect it for

it is there you go yeah yeah i can respect it it's like saying that the best like the best song ever saw i made by mozart and it's like they're good they're very good yeah they're very classical it's not the best song yeah i mean i like even is even more so that's even more subjective that's more subjective too yeah you could probably mathematics I don't know. You can. I think you can, on a mathematic basis, like,

if you could see, like, what is the, what is the, what is the catchiest song that has ever existed? It's obviously green sleeves. It's crazy.

I think there's so many, you know what? You know what? It's green sleeves? No. What? I don't know what the song is exactly? You don't know green sleeves?

No, that's not the most catchy song ever. It's clearly obvious. No. I think what happened is that, Music is like music is I hate people. Music is too subjective. People don't like this, right?

But it's true. Music is a science to a degree. Sure. There's science to it, right? It's the most subjective science. Because there's like microtonal shit going on in music. Yeah, but like, how do I explain it? I mean, that must be true, right?

So we know, so you are a musician. So you know this better than I do, obviously. You are someone that make that you like music. I can play a few instruments. I can play some instruments. Yes. So you know that. I hesitate to say that I'm like, or like, like, oh, like when people say like, oh, you're a guitarist.

I'm like, no, I play guitar. There's a difference. It's like it's like a rapist or a rapist. Like, if you rape once, you know, you're not a rapist. Are you a music er than a musicist? You're a raper if you, if you, if you, if you do it once. It's like, it's like, it's a rapist if you've done it multiple. That isst implies professionalism.

I'm going to back away from that version of that analogy. Do you not, do you not agree that isst implies professionalism? It's like, it's like, it's like, are you gay if you have sex at one man? No, not exactly. Exactly. But if you keep having, if you keep doing gay stuff, then you are a gay person. You've got a gay, you've gayed. Right. You're not a gay person.

You've done a gay act. Exactly. But you're not gay. Exactly. Until you've repeated it. Exactly. Yes. Let's take that other analogy and throw that one way out.

You didn't like my rapist analogy? Not at all. But let's just say, uh, we, uh, most songs are in a four four, four steps consistently. Sure, sure, sure. And there are some songs in four three. Sure, sure, yeah. You're doing really aggressive about that. It's making me uncomfortable.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Stop. That we understand scientifically that sounds best of people. It just does. A four-step sounds better to people than anything else. Okay, can you stop? I don't know what the fuck. You're just really, you're really bothering me.

I'm sorry. Continue. I fucking hate this so much. Continue. So there's a science. So there's a science. So there's a science. My Irish blood, I'm boiled.

up for a second. So we know that's true. That takes away so much like, oh, I love this song mentality because I'm like, no, I do because I'm a human. You've been programmed into it. Not even programmed. I think animals like it too. I do wonder

like what a spider hears. I feel like that's a cosmic question. That feels like grander than you really understand. I've thought about it a lot though. Like I've like it doesn't mean you understand it. Because sometimes you see like bugs like but are they just doing it to the vibrations

you know that's hearing effectively right but like it's more like are they feeling it or are they hearing that's what I'm saying it's like it's more like a Helen Keller listen you know what I mean

where it's just like I hear you know you hear oh word she's gone that doesn't make it okay continue you don't think it's you think it's more okay

they make fun of a dead person yeah they're not around to be offended by it I don't know man I make fun of my grandma a lot exactly you wouldn't do that Well, before. Yeah, I would.

Oh. Different subject. Different material. Well, she also was gone also kind of before that, too, so to be fair. So, like, I don't know. I think it's fine to make fun of a dead person. If they're dead. They're not, they're the only people that you should be concerned with.

Feelings wise. Uh, I would agree. It's like, yeah, make, don't make. I wouldn't go up to their, I wouldn't go up to like their son or something and be like, lull, your parents are dead. Yeah, don't like, don't like lie about them getting shot in the school and have you will piss on their graves, you know. What did it?

we get here. Alex Jones, you know. Is that what he did? The whole Sandy Hook thing. Oh, did you see that the onion bought Info Horse? That shit's just gonna. When they, when they really start doing it, it's gonna be hilarious. I actually don't know what they can do really. I don't think it'll be that funny. Because like, what are you gonna do? I think that what's funnier than just reporting the news. Damn, holy shit. That's heavy. That's heavy. This has been my issue with making videos. I'm just like, I don't know how to make this

funnier. I'll just tell you what happened. And at that, at that point, I'm just news. And I don't want to be news. Just go on some tirades about things. You can't be news without being funny. That's the issue. You can be informative. Sure, but like informing anybody on what's happening now is hysterical. Because it's all so stupid.

See, the Cash Patel is like drunk off his ass all the time and... Well, yeah, you saw the void. You know? He had to stare into the void and he's like, oh, well. Indians aren't built for that. He had to start drinking. I don't know. I'm going to read some questions, I guess.

I don't care. Good. But don't do, down, down, down, down, down, down. All right, let's see. Let's see. Please play Tainted Grill. It's like Skyrim and Marowind, except I think the rest of it cut off. But I think it was like the writing was better or something.

Wow. Sween, have you considered being on a D&D actual play podcast? I feel like you'd crush it. I would love to do that. But one, organizing that takes a lot of energy. We tried to do something like. There's some pictures. of we tried to set up a thing

in our in the olive apartment on Olive Avenue where it was Whisk Whisk me Jaylin and a couple of other people and I was I put like the cameras up in it we we tried to figure it out it's a lot harder than it seems The problem is one you need more than one camera

Audio's a disaster Audio's cameras a disaster Lighting is a disaster I think the biggest thing is that is just really like the d and d part we can technically do it here in this setup pretty easily actually the easiest part of that that is actually the easiest part the d and d is easiest the problem that comes about is that one if it's all a lot actual play it takes a long time to edit that a lot of editing unless you guys have like stationary cameras set up that I can get like a group of people

at the same time there's a lot of energy yeah to space like I could effectively do all that shit. Like I have the thing that make the minis for it. I can make the terrains. I have the books. I have all supplements. The D&D part is easy. It's the production part of it. It's hard. Like you need like the reason a lot of these other shows do well is because they have a studio space. There's like dedicated people. You do this. You do that.

For like a rag tag, it was kind of difficult. Like we tried to spool it out. One of those pictures are somewhere. I think they might be on Instagram somewhere. Like I would, I wouldn't mind like I have no problem doing that. I have no problem to. I'll effectively pay for everything. The problem is just that coordinating. So coordinating as adults is really, really, really, really, really, really hard. Yeah, you have to kind of make it like your only, like it has to be your job. You have to be getting paid to do it, basically.

I think maybe not at first, but it has to be leading directly to some sort of commerce because then you're just wasting. Not wasting, but you're putting so much time into playing this game, which is a good time. But it's like a lot of effort. Editing together an eight-hour play session? It's not, you're not paying you for eight hours. That's crazy. Or like, what's the, what's really why? That's a lot of time, dude.

I've played video games for that long. I mean, I could play the indie for like five hours, genuinely have a good time. Well, right. So, okay, but even that, like, okay, five hours, you see, you have like a couple of camera feeds. But you can't, you can't do that. Editing that together is like. You can't actually edit it, though. That's the thing.

You've got to edit it. You have to, you have to edit how to explain it. This is the issue. This is the issue. You can't go through editing it like you would edit a video of something. You cannot. You're not cutting. You're not doing that.

What you're doing is balancing sound the whole time. You should be cutting. You can't cut. Why? the fact that it's just that's too much work. That is like that I, but that's the point. No,

but like it's, it's like an on, like you edit stuff. That is like an unbelievable. Editing an one hour long thing takes like fucking like two days of editing. Sure. But that's a need. Five hours of anything.

Because it's actually, there's actually, there's actually seeing you play. Sure, sure. You can do cuts maybe of like different camera feeds. Well, that's what I'm saying.

But also, but also like you do need to trim. Trimming, I don't know about trimming, man. You need the trim. I think it has to be there for the, I think you trim off like genuine like intro and outro stuff. You trim it, you trim the dead air. But I don't, because that's why like a lot of people, they stream it literally. Right. And when it's streamed, it's just the whole thing there.

Sure, but that's different than like, I don't know. This is. Because I think that's ultimately the issue. That's what you'd have to do. I think you have to stream it. Because if you're doing, if you're doing editing, that is so much work. I, I'm aware of how. to auto edit, I'm not great at it, but I know how to audio edit and video edit.

That would make me kill myself. If I have forced, someone locks me, like, if we did, we're doing it Derek right now, or somebody locks me in a room was like, hey, edit this whole entire five-hour play of D&D, you'd come back and I would have swallowed most of the computer and died. It's not that, like, it's a lot of work, but, like, that's, the work is what makes it meaningful to consume. I get it. If it's just easy to do, then, like, what's the, if you just throw it out, who cares?

It needs to be as organic as possible. I think there's, also that's the thing that people like, not people like the organic nature of stuff. Sure. That's why people don't really do much editing and no shit they make anymore.

They do a lot of editing. They just hire other people to do it. I think a lot of content is not exactly as edit heavy as what yours kind of needs to be. The biggest content is. Like what exactly? I think about like

Papa Meets stuff is kind of crazy. Well, his is animation. Well, no, it's not even that. It's like the live action stuff that he's been doing. Like his videos I'm talking? No, the video.

Well, the videos. of him talking are highly edited and then there's the I think those are edited not highly man and those editors definitely editing used in it he's like you watched them yeah I watch pop people all the time like I think he's editing in it like he's doing work to make those videos because that's

more similar to what you used to do right sure but he's got the live action like puppet stuff that's insane but that's his madness but that's content that's true but that's not the vast majority of content nowadays sure but I think you don't want them as the vast majority If you're the vast majority, then you're going to get lost.

You need something different. So I think there, I think, I don't know, I personally think there's a market for highly curated, highly tight, like very tight versions of that type of content. I think there's a market for that, but I don't think that's exactly the same people are going to watch a life laborer d&D. That is where I agree. I don't know if I agree with that really. Really? Yeah. Because what would you edit so much so or edit out?

It's just the dead air, bro. Or like stuff that's like doesn't, isn't that interesting. But then what if there's context to that set scene? What if there's actually like interact Like you see like Well you take that into account There's so much going on you know That's like I feel like it's like it's just

I feel like by its nature It's so noisy It's meant to be that noisy Yeah you could be I mean it could still be noisy But I think you have to I obviously have to get out of pops But then that's a lot of talking You're out of all the fucking weird peas

People saying bees incorrectly Maybe a little bit too much breathing in a mic It's a lot of it's a lot of rest We have to have like a smaller like the ear mics Obviously you don't have like one of the fucking One of these in someone's mouth Sure To hear them

it's a lot of shit like I think about that stuff all the time and I'm like I would love to try to do that but it would just drive people insane also editing people that edit in general don't get paid enough for the most part and an asking price for that much work is high sure that's the reason we don't have editors yeah it's crazy because like we would we would want to pay them well and by paying them well I wouldn't get paid well yeah just like I might just let's just say I might just pay myself exactly but uh yeah I don't know editors out there thank you guys for you know editing

yeah when you do it well when you guys do it poorly it's like you know do a little better next time yeah do a little better that's it anyway

let's see let's see let's see Dan the man with the pants wrote in he says hey fellow it's not a question but I thought I'd let you know this I teach English to Japanese students

okay whenever they ask for the best podcast for practicing listening to real English I always recognize recommend your podcast. Not good. I tell them it's how real English speakers talk all the time.

It's not good. And they should emulate your speaking style if they want to make friends. Do you have a message for these poor people? No. Hey man. Good fucking luck. We are not the best. But hey, best of luck.

We're not the best at anything, quite frankly. I'm not even the best at killing myself. Yeah It's insane Yeah Someone out there better at The me You're not even the best

At impersonating you Yeah There's a fucking Grundel out there It does it better That's crazy It's true But yeah

What do you think Good luck Out there man If you're learning If you're learning in English From this What? Do you think you're

You're never Find what your best at No I actually don't think so You can find things That you're really Really really good at Potentially

But I think There's so many things You're Like you're like, what if you had? Like, what if you're like, oh, I'm, I'm unbelievably good at getting sharks off of people? That's what I'm saying. Like, what? There's definitely something out there that you would have never considered because there's no reason to consider it that you could potentially be absolutely the best at.

There's too many variables. And so like, I don't think anybody, I don't think even like the most prolific. Like, even, um, even athletes are like the best of the sport. I feel like they might be technically better at something else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like Tarantino is like a really great director, right? But like he might be better at like...

Sheating. I wonder who was unbelievably good at like the eating shit. Right. And it's like what the fuck you're really good at that? There's a lot of things that nobody wants to be the best at. Like, oh, I can take a dick really, really hard up my ass and I won't feel anything. You know what I mean? I'd be the best out.

I would never find out. But you would never find out about it. Because it's just not something that's worth even trying. That is so crazy. Like I'm unbelievably good at getting shot in the head. Right. Yeah. Like,

fantastic. Like, your skull is like just the right density where like it just kind of scrapes off. Maybe it gets a little bit of bone, like, get a little bit of bone out of there. But like it's like, you're basically, you're going to be fine. I'm really good at that. More often than not. It's like,

it's like the thing we talk about sometimes where it's just like there is a, there's a funniest version of everything no matter how tragic. Yeah. It's like there, because there must be. But the nature of like how everything works. Yeah. So, like, like, we, we brought up the guy. nutting on a woman's leg, right? And running out of the...

Right. At our friend's house with a lot of our female friends... There's a video of a guy nutting on a woman's leg in a convenience store and running away, scampering. And the woman says, he nutted on my leg and she's really distressed. It's a horrible thing. And a lot of our female friends thought it was... One of our female friends thought was funny, but she's... She's that kind of person.

She thinks things that are funny. Right. But the other ones... did not find it funny. And all the guys were trying to explain to her. I'm happy all the guys were there. We were like, hey, look.

It's not that it's funny that someone got assaulted. The situation has comedic undertones. Right. Not the action. The action was obviously repugnant. Like a baby has died in the funniest way a baby can die. Yes. That must be true.

But it just simply must The situation is not funny Right It's not funny that it happened But the hijinks that led to it Were probably Dare I say hilarious Right

Dare I say Dare you say And so it's a little bit like that I think Exactly What were we talking about? He's not at all about fucking leg He's not about my fucking leg

His looney tunes Fucking swerve out And no one stopped him It's crazy Like no one did anything about that She was yelling that Well before he got out the store No one was like

Yo what the fuck happened But that's what I mean It's like, I think, I think there's people out there who's like, oh, you're really good at peeling the skin off of mice. You know what I mean? You would never know. Or you're really good at, I don't know. You're the very best come marks ever seen in my life. Right.

There you go. We all understand. If anybody in the chat doesn't understand fucking, I don't know, help yourself, figure yourself out. Should be fairly simple, basic concept. You should attempt to swallow your whole arm. Yeah. You might be the best at it. What if you're good?

What if you can get all the way to that out of? Yeah. It's like this. It's like, uh, like the, the tongue click that I can do. What? The, uh, the really loud, like, um, hold on. Can I do it still? Oh, no, I lost it. Or like, it could be, I could go way louder. But like, I've done that before, like, to get people's attention. People are like, that's fucking unusually loud. I'm like, yep. I don't know why I'm, I know how to do that. But I can do it louder than anybody that I've ever met for sure. Can you snap your fingers?

that's not really like I can kind of I can't go loud as loud as I would like this one I'm perfect at this one I learned how to do like a year ago yeah and I'm still in my novice era of it it makes you really angry I can't do that

yeah like really and it hurts my tongue but like there's no one recoil your tongue yeah but like no one else can do as and I've done this multiple times and like no I've not met a single person so like I know general Probably that I might be the best at doing that.

A useless skill. Completely pointless. It'd be like that, man. Yeah. Like what if you're a really, really, really, really, really good at killing Vietnamese people? Like your dad or my grandpa. Right. Like, like, unbelievably good.

You know what I ironically think it is? What? It's the Snapple caps. You know, like you used to pop the Snapplecaps, you know that? And you just mimic that so much. You know how to do that? I think maybe. That's like a rain man, but like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like,

fucking drizzle man. I was about that I was about to say. Drizzle man. Drizzle boy. Does drizzle boy evolve into Raidman? First it's, first it's, wait,

wait, first it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a little, I think he has to be a baby.

It's, it was like mist baby. No, Missed baby. Do baby. Do? It's do baby. Do baby.

Then it's drizzle boy. Drizle boy. And then rain man. And then. Eldily downboard or something. And then. Hurricane Elder Hurricanes all forced

He has a full evolution chart Somebody make that Make that a real thing The evolutionary turn of rain man The evolutionary trying to rain man That's gonna be really He's gonna be He's gonna be

Trissel boy I love Drizzle boy A autistic little kid Yeah he's like I can really Oh What's the Rain man do again He counts rain

That's counting all the rain What did it? And he's right He's right. If you pour water off of a roof, he can tell you how many drops of rain are there. He can count the waters in a bucket of falling water. How many waters is in this bucket?

He knows. 3 billion waters. $3,5006. What is that? What is a water? It's exactly $3 billion plus $500. That's crazy. What the fuck?

What is a waters? What is a waters? I love Drizzle boy. I'm enamored with that. somebody I hope to see that Drizzle boy The Rane Man Evolutionary Arc

Drizzle boy So stupid Man Anyway You see gold It's gold It's gold It's gold

It's gold There's gold to me You spend 35 years Plenty of sleepers hungry nights And you find a little bit of gold there And like nice Like I think I think we've discovered

That we're the best It's coming up with garbage We are very good at Dogshay comedy Yeah Very good at it. Yeah. We have...

No one's better at garbage comedy than we are. Particularly you and I are very good at making... Yeah, not Derek. Derek's a fucking idiot. Derek's comedy is still somehow a bit high more highbrow than ours. But you and I in particular, since we moved in with each other all those years ago, we're like, yo, we're really good at making really dog shit comedy. Yeah.

It's a point of pride. Like the piss jokes? Like we've taken piss jokes to the fucking... Almost the mooned back. I feel whenever we're doing a stupid piss joke, I feel like, you know that scene and Night before Christmas where Jack is like experimenting on the snowflake?

And he's getting it. And he's like, he's cutting up the thing and it's like, you know what I mean? He's like discovering things. That's what it feels like. The piss pinini was such a crazy fucking pull. It was absurd.

That was such a crazy pool. Fucking garbage. Look out. Pis pinini guy. No, don't look that up because it doesn't exist. Don't look that up It's not real

It's very real dude It's real to us It's real to everyone That believes in piss pininis man How many people is that You think that's happened Once at least That somebody pissed in a pinini

Like pissing a pinnini On the press and slammed it shut Do you think that that's happened At least once There's too many freaking weird people out there Everything's happened at least once Not everything but most things Well I guess not

Everything possible has happened potentially once, right? Within, like, obviously all humans exterminating, being exterminated, it hasn't happened yet. Yeah, but like everything has been possible, you know. Right. Anything that's within the realm of possibility. Because if you go back far enough, people sitting at tables as a possible because there's no tables. Do you think, do you think literally the world expands, the more people know?

What do you mean? Because, like, for cavemen, the world is so finite. that all they can think about is like such a low-tier kinds of things. It's like hopefully it turns it to dark and then my kids aren't gone. But then progressively, so the world is effectively smaller in thought, not in little space. You know? I think so. So at what point does the world get as big as it can be, you know?

Like when are-conceptually? Yeah, like when are possibilities done, you know? Like when are people going to stop? Thinking of new things? Yeah, at what point I were like, oh, well, that's... That's been done. I don't know. The Simpsons kind of deal with that, right?

No, even they got a bunch of material. There's not taking certain steps. Well, no, they have... They could do a whole entire extraordinarily racist season of the Simpsons if they want. They haven't taken no steps yet, you know? They could pivot pretty hard. There's just avenues. They're like, oh, we don't go down the avenue because that's, like, not respectable.

But it's like, why not? So at what point will every creative avenue be thoroughly explored? Yeah. I feel like never. Because there's always going to be like new technology that opens up new avenues. Well, like, you sure? Yeah, I think so. As long as we don't die.

But I feel like if you have a limit. I'm sure. But we're not going to reach it, I guess. We're not going to reach it. Not in my lifetime. I've given up on my lifetime with us like that. I'm talking about like way out. Well, then it's irrelevant to me.

I don't care. Like, when is the last dance move going to be danced? When is the last like, when is the last? 2966 The last dance move ever That's the last dance move I think We're not making it to the 3,000s

I don't think Humans? Yeah It doesn't bode well It doesn't bode well We're already like We're only in like The two zero

Right now Doesn't bode well All I gotta say It's not It's not looking good It's fucking climate change It's not looking good Natural disasters

I think we'll last well into the 20 somethings I think 2020 22s I think we're stopped by then What do you mean? Isn't that Well it's 2026

The 2,200s Oh I see the 2020s Yeah I think like that's like Yeah probably I think that's like That's like the hard ceiling I think we're not getting

If we break past that ceiling We're good we'll make it We'll figure out a way But like if we don't then Maybe Youch dude Yeah We'll go ahead of Terraform

That'd be interesting If you can learn how to do that Anyway You turn for them Earth back into being a decent place You turn for Mars for more space The moon, maybe It only takes nine months to get to Mars I didn't know that

I'm like this makes sense It makes sense I just never thought I just don't know I assumed it would be longer That's why we haven't gone But I guess we just haven't gone because there's no reason to We're gonna go there and be like oh awesome Yeah, Mars It'd be fucking cool to come to Mars though

It'd be interesting Yeah It'd be like oh this is interesting But I feel like I'm not I feel like if I go out of the planet I feel like I would turn it to like literally a monkey. What do you mean?

Like, I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm so, like, terrestrial brain that, like, outside I'd see something. It would either make me go mad or I'd be like... I'm so fascinated with space. I'm not, man. It seems, it's so vast. It's like, I don't need... It's like an infinite option.

It's like, I don't need this much, you know? Yeah. Like, I already have... That's crazy is that, like, there are obviously aliens, right? There has to be. Right. somewhere, which means there's a pedophile light years, light years away from us. If it's similar to humans.

There's got to be at least one. Statistically, there's got to be, like, more people like us. More humanoids? Yeah. Well, not humanoid also, but just like intelligent creatures. That's like, that's like, how to, it's like 99.99.99% sure. Yes, there's human. So there's a galaxy where there's like, there's galaxies away where a sex crime is happening right now.

now. Yeah, their relative one, yes. Yeah. But theirs might be like looking, like, looking, fixing your body toward that might be theirs, you know? Sure. Oppos that's like actually actively violence. Yeah. Anyway. Hi, Asikite wrote in.

He says, hello, Christopher Gay Lumbus. Nice. First time ask her a long time lurker finally decided to pay you so I can ask you something. What are your more recent life hacks that you've discovered? Mine is if you go to a Food plays with a visible GoPro and order a ton of food, then casually mention you're going to give it to the homeless.

They'll usually go talk to their manager and come back with even more food, and it's free. Stay gay, boys. You're just an evil person. This is, by the way, proof that, like... This is... Don't do that. Don't do that. Food scarcity is already fake.

You know, we got to deal with this. We got to deal with this now. We got to deal with this now. I don't think about life hacks often, to be honest. That's so not good. Because what you do is you... Because what happens if they find out you're doing that, right? Then the next person that's actually trying to do that for people can't do it because of you.

Yeah. That's so fucking not good. People suck sometimes, man. It's so sad. I should think about that. Because we're not... I don't think we're bad. I just think that we've convinced ourselves it's like it's worth being shitted of each other.

I think so. It's not. There... Yeah. There is... You're one of the people that have given up. You're like, might as well be shitty. I'm not giving up, but like, it's hard.

I feel the, the siren song of it often. I don't. Where it's just like, why am I... Why? Why am I holding myself to any standard? Because it could be better. But like, no, but it's only as good as everybody else allows it to be. But that's because everyone allows it to be shitty.

Right, but like... It takes active governance to be better. That's what it does. Yeah. Think of your worst moments, right? Sure. Are you not better than those moments now? Sure.

And think of why you're better. So the next time you don't do that to somebody else, that's all it takes. Literally, it's all it takes to be a better person is like, hey. I've truly, like, I think I've reached a level of, like, almost Buddhist acceptance with certain things where, like, I've lived, like, I've experienced things where, like, I've experienced things that I've done or whatever. But I'm at a point now where it's just like if that, if I was on the receiving end of anything like that, right, I don't think I would care. At all. I don't know. Which seems to like kind of like muddies it a little bit because like now I don't even give a shit.

Really. I don't know, man. For me, I hold myself to a particular standard. Yeah. Because I know once I stopped doing that for myself, then I was going to become easier for me to do bad things. Sure. Because I have the edge of doing bad things in me. I know it's like a present, like a thought in me.

Yeah, for sure. And I have to actively not do it. And I'm like, that's all it's worth. Yeah. But I feel it sometimes. I'm like, might as well, you know. Most of it'll be the worst version of myself. And it's like, no, I can't do that.

The thing that's unfortunate is that like a lot of people get rewarded for it. That's the issue. That's the problem. Is that like we have like kind of like a, we've set up a system where like you're kind of incentivized act that way. You are to, to climb you are. But to exist, you don't have to. You really don't have to be a bad person Sure, but you can live a really comfortable life

Being a terrible person But that's because of the fact that's what bothers me about it That's because of the fact that people are are passively bad Like people Because there's being a decent person There's being a decent person There's being a bad person There's being a good person

There's a difference Sure Most people are decent I think I'm decent Some people are bad Sure Very few are good Very few people are like

Like Mr Rogers is a good person Yeah that's a good man Yeah. You could like see it. Like I, in my life, genuinely, like I've met in my life, I've met like maybe 20 good, like actually good people. I've met a lot of decent people to have a good, like more good align than they are bad. Yeah, but purely good.

Like truly good human beings. I've met like, like, maybe 20 in my life. I've met fewer, maybe like 10. That are like truly good. Yeah. Like I'm a bad person that was taught to be good. I know I'm a bad person. But I was taught to be good

And the stuff I watched when I was younger Triced the bad out of me Where I'm like, oh yeah, I should do this Because this is my favorite person does I do think I started out very good I don't think I did I started out very good and now I'm like way worse

I'm way worse than when I was a kid I think I'm a lot more jaded now I think I was born when the volcano went off And it was something bad It was already there And it was like oh If you talk to my parents about like me As a Jeter like they have such a Fisher Price

View of me Imagine you were a good kid until you realized you were small and you had a glasses and you were like, fuck this. I'm done. Why would they do? Why would you do this to me? Yeah. And he went on being terrible. The thing that really bothers me ultimately, I don't know if this is good or bad, but the thing that bothers me is that I do have a conscience.

It hurts. And so, like, I've, I've dabbled in being terrible. I absolutely have. I absolutely have. Because I'm like, at a certain point, I'm like, why am I doing this to myself? Where I'm just like, I'm not getting anything out of this. I have been. destroying myself.

I have been bad for like a few years in my life. Sure. But I was a teenager and I let, I called it I was a teenager. I tried to like shoot it off to be. I was kind of shitty. Yeah. But like I very eventually I was like,

oh, I just shouldn't be like this anymore. And then I changed. But like it's the, I don't know. I think a lot of people are just like, oh, whatever about a lot of things. That's like bad shit happens.

Yeah. And then the bad people are like, yeah. I'm too guilt. I'm too guilt. too guilty over just like nonsense stuff. Dude. So like even,

even, I watched a movie about the new movie with Zendaya and Robert Pattison in it. It's called like the drama where they like the couples. This is a terrible thing. But two couples revealed to all four of each other the worst things they've ever done, which is a horrible thing to do with your partner.

Yeah, don't do that. Horrible thing you've been. You should be truthful with your partner about the worst things you've done. I have. Lily knows the worst, the two worst things ever done in my. my life.

Sure. And they're both not really that bad, but they're not good things. Mm. And one of the things from the girl that Zendaya plays is she was a young girl that planned to do a school shooting. She didn't do it. Right. But she planned to.

She was going to do it. That's not wrong with that. And then. Still thought experiment. That I thought, but that's a conversation. You never thought about, like, I can take out. I, like, I've never thought about killing him about. No, I never ever ever.

I don't have that. I've been really angry before. I could have hurt somebody. Do you have that typical masculine thing where it's like you've... The massive urge to stop a school shooter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah.

I'm worried. I'm like, I swing off this pipe and I just get shot in the air. You try to do like a Spider-Man swing at your... And you fuck it up first and foremost. You don't have the grip straight. He's got like a, he's got a 50 caliber. He shoots your arm off, basically.

He shoots your arm off and most of the beam. Yeah. And you're like, oh. So, yeah, I don't know. So they, they, she planned to do a school shooting. Yeah, but she didn't do it, obviously. And then what happened is she afterwards, they went through everything that happened and kids getting shot somewhere else, relatively close.

And she, like, reflects on it. She was like, oh, my God, what was wrong with me? Sure. And Robert Patt has a character spirals the whole time. But it's like, that is crazy. It had to be a thing. I got to be honest. I can forgive a lot of things.

I don't know if I could deal I don't know if I could I don't know if I could get over that someone that I'm dating like even That's a hard one That's a hard one Like I can forgive a lot

And I have But the problem But like that's crazy That's a lot Like that's a trust me That's a cosmic thing Yeah But it's also you got to understand

If there's in change Or not truly You know Sure I think that's what matters more It just worries me That's there at all I think a lot

Because I feel like that's I don't want to say hereditary But like it kind of is it gone like is it gone really is that going to be in arcade now you know do am i going to have to like be vigilant but arcade because i cross your mind you know i feel like a lot of people a lot a lot of people have fucked thoughts sure and what happens is actions matter more than thoughts well but even but even thoughts can be actions in the sense that like i've thought all sort i've thought all sorts of nonsense like intrusive thoughts like what if i kick this dog into the

son you know what I mean but it's to to plan even if it's even if it's just because planning is an action no plans and action that's true but ultimately the thing you can't take back is the the action of the finality of it sure and I think that is you can't vilify someone for thoughts sure and planning if they don't do it I don't think it would be vilifying necessarily it would be more just like you got to talk to somebody about this shit you got to talk somebody about because it's not a crime to think it's not a crime to think of like that's the problem with the movie it's a great film actually like genuinely a good film but it's like what do you what do you what do you talk about that afterwards it's like so you're gonna you're gonna shoot up a school it's like yeah was

yeah and then you you'd have to have like a really serious long like days long conversation and if you at all like I don't want to talk about this once to me you get maybe one of those you get maybe one of the like I just don't like you do this right now and I'm like look we have to talk about this if you give me another one of those I'm out. And they were about to get married. They were getting married that weekend. I could maybe... That's what makes it crazy. I could maybe

be friends. I think I could be friends probably. Because the way that I'm thinking about it, right? It's like here's how... But they're about to get married. They're like on the verge of it. But listen, listen, here's where my brain goes, right? You've planned a school shooting.

You didn't do it. My mind goes to the friends of serial killers are usually okay. The spouses But that's not so much You know So like I can maybe Like I don't know that I'm not that I think they're a serial killer

But that what I'm saying You're doing what he did Chris What are you saying? Because of the fact is that like look And I'm not gonna say I'm gonna be like Hey it's all right You tell me that that first night I'm not sleeping

It's planning I'm gonna be up beside you like what the fuck Planning violence Is something that like I don't know if I can I don't I'm too soft for that man Like I don't know I can't be like oh If somebody's like yeah I planned to rape someone

And like but I didn't do it And like you planned to rape someone and didn't do it Like that's scary I can't do that I can't You can do so much to me I'm so forgiving of so many things I'd handle a lot of things It's fine

Because I just I know people are just like flawed And like I get whatever That's crazy though You know what I mean I don't know if I could handle A person who's just planning violence. I thought about like, would I be okay with Lily if she did that? And I was like, thinking about the whole night and I was like, I can't keep thinking about this. Because I will spiral.

Yeah. Like, that's just too much. But at the same time, at the same time, right, truth be told, people that have these thoughts that have overcome them are the ones that are most needed to help people that have those thoughts. Sure. So do you vilify these person? I'm not going to vilify them. I'm just not going to marry him. Do you be like, I can't be, I can't, I can't share a, I can't share a. bed with you if you're capable of planning because here's the thing the only reason you probably didn't do that is because you had a lot of time to marinate on it you didn't have the accessibility available to you right so like if i'm just if you have an urge and i'm just laying their defenseless next to you you're not even going to have time to think your way to the point where you're

convinced not to do it but what if it's it's but what if this person actively understands and advocates for the things against what made them get to that point we'll hang out all the time Like I'm not like I'm not on either side right now I'm not on either side I'm like you should do it you should do it I'm thinking like this has to be A conversation that we have to have that's gonna be a long and really not fun You it's it's the violence man like I don't know

I'm so not a violent person You know You can lie you can you can breach I don't give a shit about most things But like violence is like I don't know dude Yeah I'd be like what That's too much I would just need to talk about that. You can't, you can't, like, that's one of those things that, like, if that comes up and I find out what's not like that, you and I have to really have a long, crazy, serious conversation about it.

Yeah. Because I got to know if you're. Now, let me ask you something. What's up? Let's hear it. If they, so if the, she planned, in the movie, she planned to shoot up a school. Yeah. If, if your partner plan to shoot up like a puppy shop, just puppies.

Is it worse? Technically no. Would that be a line for you more so than with school? I think being able to... Because school shootings are kind of like a joke, kind of. What does that mean? In like the 9-11 sense, where it's just like it's obviously tragic,

but they're so frequent that like, there's school shooting jokes happening all the time, kind of. You know what I mean? I agree. People don't often joke about shooting up puppy bills or something like that. And animals are more defenseless. than children

I mean Certainly Depending on the age Kids have killed their parents You know Ain't no puppy gonna kill a fucking man You never know I really determined puppy

You can probably do it Puppies are Puppies just have Nah No I don't know I would I think the most purehearted

Puppy is more purehearted than the most purehearted Child I would agree yes Yeah Puppies are just want to be friends That's it Right

As opposed to kids They kind of just want to exist Children have to develop empathy. But he developed pretty quickly, I think. Sometimes. I think we're for the most part. By six, they'll, well, no, by like six or seven, they'll usually have it.

That's like conscious empathy. It's a different thing. Like the little like share, like someone gets hurt, they come check on you. No, it's not. You have to sit hair when it comes to freaking empathy. I don't know, man. Whatever. That's crazy, though.

Like, I don't know what I would do. I just be like, why? Give me the why. Give me the why did you do that? That's it. What was up? What was going on? And she gave it all what she was going on.

She was like, obviously, all the typical signs, her parents, distant parents, moving a lot, bullied excessively, all those things. And I'm like, look, I can understand feeling so, because, like, essential, a lot of people that end up, like, joining, like, hostile gangs like that. They're similar situations to that, too. But they don't have the time to sit down and just a. to really form these horrible ideas, you know, to go out and be violent to people. But it's like someone going and doing, like, as long as she didn't do it,

because she hurt herself, and she couldn't do it initially. And then they had the, then what happens is that the school, someone got shot in a hotel, like, at a mall somewhere far away, and she saw the effects of what happened on the people around her.

And that, because I think, well, there is at that moment, you kind of have an empathy block. Like, you're like, a bit of an empathy block. And then it happens, you got cracks, you're like, whoa, what was I doing?

Sure. At the time, I think happens to a lot of people. A lot of people are just not empathetic until something comes in as like, hey, pain, sadness. I don't know, man. Yeah. If Lily did that, I'd be like, Lillian, we got to go over some shit. Maybe I won't sleep here for a few months. Because it's just fucking crazy.

What the fuck was that? A ghost. All right. Well, Splish, splash. I was gaping his ass running. He's, yo, fuckos. In 499 to the fourth power, you guys talk. You guys talked about terrorist wrestlers.

No question, but I wanted to tell you that Muhammad Hassan, the WWE wrestler, was my high school principal. I'm sorry, what? He's actually just a chill Italian dude named Mark. He never actually flew those planes. Oh. I don't know what to say about that. I just like, I figured I'd read it. They paid to write it in.

I don't know who that wrestler. I don't think it's a real wrestler. You wore a turban. I remember him. Is that real? Yeah. Not a turban. Are you sure it was the same guy?

Because, like, I mean, that's a pretty common name, probably. Well, but the son, I feel like it is. I feel like dollars to donuts. It's a pretty common name. Anyway, Filthy Enwa wrote it. He says, in episode 402, someone wrote in and mentioned how you annoyed them into playing Resident Evil by how much you schmucks were yapping about RE9. It reminds me about how on Apple Podcasts, I listen to this at work, so I can't have YouTube open.

There are ads every 10 to 15 minutes You all get interrupted mid-sentence By the same advertisement Where some dude is shilling an online casino And he also knows where I live It got so annoying that I now subscribe to y'all On Patreon to get no ads to make the podcast listenable So thanks for that I guess

That's what's a time Where you had to be suckered into paying for something Love you all Keep it gay Thanks for coming to the Patreon I guess I don't know Yeah yeah I mean to be fair like

that's my motivation for a lot of the subscription services that I use YouTube premium I have specifically because I just don't want to deal with the ads I don't mind the sponsored things for the creators because like I mean I skip them still a lot of people are bad at making them to be fair

like they're not really they're not entertaining I put a lot of effort into mine what you're right I still skip them well listen I know what it is I wait for them to say what it is

Oh, me on these Or whatever And I'm like, okay, I know And then I skip Because I get it I know the spiel You know I get it

I like the company too It's fine It's just like I don't I get it I get it Yeah yeah I get it But I don't like

I had ad block on For so long And I was like This is kind of my job But I have ad block on A piece of shit And I turned it off You pay for YouTube premium

It's an ethically Now I do yeah But like I like YouTube premium A lot Because of that Spotify's kind of the same thing.

I got sick of hearing like at like 10 more decibels than your music where we would go like, tired of the ads, it would scream at you. And I'm like, yeah. Okay. So, I mean, that is just the nature of this. You really should subscribe on the Patreon of the habit. It's a fucking dollar to bypass the ads. Hey, man.

I think that's kind of worth it. There's going to get ranked up to $17 the lowest rank. Yeah, we're going to raise the price now that Game Pass is lowering theirs. to kind of offset So what's the dollar difference between I think it's like 22 from 30 Yeah So we're going to raise the price $7

So that Those of you who are on Game Pass I wonder how much we could raise the Patreon prices Before they're like hey we're going to unsubscribe I don't think we could do it much I don't think we should I don't think we should At what point do people like

Like I have dollars for it The highest I would ever say Is like maybe like the $1. $200. Jesus crazy You almost snotted I almost not That's crazy

The highest I would go maybe Is like maybe the $1 goes to two Would be three No I wouldn't do three Possibly five The $25 one I've thought about raising

Many many times I thought about raising the $25 one Because like the names are getting so long It's brutal That one That's the point where To the point where I was thinking I was thinking of making it

A fucking 50 Where I'm just like Let's get as few people here As possible So that the end of the show Is not that fucking long I'm going to give them a $25 something, though. That's a thing.

No. 50 is a lot. No, no. 50 would be fucking egregious. I was thinking 30 or something, but like, I don't know. We haven't gotten around to it because I just, I just don't want to deal with. Also, also changing, changing the prices is like weirdly hard on Patreon. I remember it.

Maybe it's not the case anymore, but I remember trying to do this before because I remember trying to make it lower. years ago for like some i think my own my own personal i tried to lower the price for one of them and it wouldn't fucking let me i remember being like why won't it let me lower the price that's fucking insane so like i don't know what the deal is but uh we're gonna squeeze you at some point at a certain point it's like this this this is just because the end is getting crazy this is just too many names and it's and a lot of you not a lot enough people change them is the thing we get a lot of the same, which is fine, but it leads to fewer

tangents. There's a lot. Which is like the whole point of getting your name read is making me say a different thing so that we have something new to talk about. There are a lot. There's almost five pages now, I think. Yeah, we're on the fifth page.

That's a lot. That's 250 plus names. I wonder how the audience feels about it. I don't know. I would like, shut the fuck up and read our names. Yeah, probably, yeah. You don't care about us, man. They never did.

But yeah, I don't know. I'm sure I've gotten stuck. into paying for shit that I shouldn't have paid for before. The only one that I could think of is like I used to buy, I used to buy some of those wreck packs on Halo 5 back when we were doing Warzone. Oh my God, you'd buy the wreck packs? Yeah, because I don't know. I played that game so, like, that game's fun, actually, to be honest.

Story's terrible, but we had a lot of good times on Halo 5. Yeah, I loved that game. When I started getting good at the game was actually fun. It's good. It'd be interesting. Well, they would never do it, but. I'll bring it back. We'll put it on PC at the very least.

They wouldn't do it. I'd be curious to play that game with a high FOV though. I bet I'd bet it'd be fucking cool. That would be cool probably. But, oh well. I played Destiny last night again for the first time in a while. Which one? Listening too.

On the PC, it was nuts. What'd you do in it? Went into trial. Not trials. I wanted to fucking, what's it's crazy. Going to the trials off of like years of not playing. I went into fucking Crucible. You caught my ass beat.

Interesting. I can't snap anymore. Yeah. Missing straight of Azo Speed shots. I'm like, whoa, man. hurt really bad you got on a marathon you got jumping a marathon with us

man I can't you have it I know but I can't do it man it's so easy I don't got in me the moment I lose some good shit I will literally come undone

Tell you what If we find good shit I'll just take it So you don't have to lose anything I'll have to lose it Yeah yeah yeah It's purple nice And you move me outside

You grab it Yeah I'll take this Thanks dude And if I die If you could take it And lose it if you die i'm cooked yeah probably if any of you guys die i'm gonna we played the fucking

summer slam i was having a fucking meltdown yeah but you only played for like 30 minutes yeah and i was scared and you were in the tutorial and i was scared you're crazy anyway fucking horrified dude uh oh uh what is it oh i'm i talked about prognano last time i think so right old child yeah talk about it on the on the on the Record the one we did remote? Yeah, yesterday. Okay, well, I guess I won't bring it up. It's very good.

It's adorable. I see a little kid having as like little paintings. I'm like, this is adorable. You're so nice. It's so funny the way, the way people's brains work about like video games. Really?

Yeah, because like everybody's focused on like the kid. It's adorable. I'm just like this gameplay's fucking sick, dude. What is this third person shoot? Like a cover shooter? So it's a third person. So how it works is like you have a,

you have a base weapon and there's like different enemy types. You can shoot them to do a little bit of damage, but, like it doesn't really do anything. You have to hack them to do real damage. And what hacking is, is like you aim down on a controller. I don't know how this works on PC.

I can't even imagine how this works on PC, to be honest. But when you aim at somebody, a grid opens up. And basically it's like a grid with like a bunch of nodes. There's a green node that completes the hack. There are different other nodes that you have to pass through to add damage. And then there are other buff nodes that you can pass through like, oh, decrease defense.

And you go through those with like triangle, circle, square cross. So, like, those are the, that's the D-pad, basically. And so, like, you're going through that in real time, and you're hacking them in real time while you're fighting. And they've got weak points and shit. You can, like, there's nodes that, like, freeze them. There's nodes that, like, turn them on other enemies. It's fucking really cool.

That sounds dope. It's actually sick as fuck. Like, I can't remember the last time I played anything quite like that. I'm sure that's, I'm, that can't be a completely new mechanic. But, like, I can't think of a time where I've ever played a game that had that, control scheme or had that kind of combat. It's fucking really cool. That sounds dope.

I'm gonna give it to try it. It's a dope as fun. There's a demo, so I've encouraged people to try it. But it's fucking really cool. Like, I'm really into it. But everybody's like, oh, the kid's cute.

And I'm like, yeah. It is. It's such a distant thing to me. Like, yeah, it's cute kid. It's adorable. But like, oh my God, look at it. But the star to me is like, bro, this. Can they kill people?

Do they kill people for you? She hacks. She's your hack, basically. But does it shoot? Does it like have a gun? She has an alt. Does it do a bigger hack? Yeah.

It does damage though. That's pretty cool. I'll try it up. Anyway. Yeah, I wasn't sure if I brought it up. What are we at right now? An hour and a half? We can do some more questions.

Halo 3 Wardhog run while huffing nitrous oxide rodent. Nice. It's his trigger warning. Halo and drugs. Can't even imagine. What the fuck? Okay. Hello, fellas.

Let me regale you of an activity. Myself and two friends got up too recently. We decided that we would take turns driving the Halo 3 Wardhog run, but you had to pass the remote every time you died. The twist, the current driver had to be huffing nitrous oxide while driving. No driving sober for us, boyos. You got to relax, guys. Drunk driving Halo 3 sounds hysterical, though.

I got to be real. Driving on the influence in a video game is madness. That is madness. You didn't do that? You didn't get high and drive around in GTA? No. Really, even back when you were high? a lot?

I definitely have done it high. Yeah, there you go. That wasn't like the, that wasn't like the setup of the night. It wasn't like, yo guys, just get fucked up and drive run in GTA. I actually, I feel like I've said that. Have you ever done, this is not an interesting question, I guess, but like I am curious. Did you ever play GTA like obeying? Yeah.

Like obeying the rules? Yeah, it hurts. Like stopping at the traffic lights. It hurts. It's so painful. It hurts. It feels, it's fun to do for exactly like. three minutes.

When you're like, I play GTA 4 correctly. Yeah. I would like, I wouldn't merge. There's no really blinkers, but I would have to like try to put my blinkers on. I'd merge and have it on space.

You'd like to use your imagination to put the blanket on me. It's like, it's like, right, I'm going to get to here real quick. Because you, don't, you move so fluidly in that world,

which the world doesn't. And you're like, okay. I'm a Samaritan. I don't, I don't aggress the cops. I don't beat up hookers. So I'm like,

actually somehow never beat up a hooker in GTA. Oh, interesting. I've never found them. I look for them. I just go to a ship club and like light that place up. Oh, well, that's different. And then leave with the money. Yeah, I would definitely shoot up the strip clubs.

Turn that place into a fucking thunderstone. It is crazy in retrospect thinking about like your parents walking in as you're shooting up a strip club in GTA and then having no problem with it. But also kind of intrinsically understanding, like from your perspective, it's like, yeah, they really kind of isn't a problem. Like none of this is real and it's not like something that I want to do. It's just like I'm bored. And these are, these are pixels. I've definitely done to San Andreas Bang the girl

Like drive off to a fire area Bang the girl Then shot her took a money back and then left Yeah Rolled the car into the ocean And it's like why'd I do this? Because yeah why not? I'm getting more and more excited about GTA

I gotta tell you Lily's excited The closer it gets the more I'm like I'm just so curious what it's going to be Because it's going to be red dead More than it's going to be GTA And I'm like that I'm fascinated by that

That's going to be a lot It's going to be a game Because even GTA4 was leaning in that direction anyway like way back in that day, way back in the day. So I'm stoked. It's definitely, even five is more Red Dead than it was like older GTA games, you know? Yeah, yeah. So we'll see how it goes.

I just didn't like five that much because I thought, I prefer the single character. Or at least the character, like, this is dual characters, but like they're like intertwined at least. Yeah. There's two, when there's too many characters, I get lost and I don't really keep. Franklin, Mike and Trevor. Yeah. Hey man I should beat that game

I never beat GTA 5 I can't play that game again I'd like to beat some GTAs because like the older ones are kind of hard for me I don't know

they're a little too jank and I don't have that much nostalgia for them to really carry myself through it I beat all of them I'm pretty sure I beat San Andreas

you beat four I beat four's long four's a lot longer I had to beat that game yeah whatever this story isn't done he says we realize 20 minutes in

this is the nitrous oxide people. We realized 20 minutes in that we also had to have the remote manually wrestled from us and moved on to the next driver once the N2O caused the current driver to begin to see goblins and mentally confront our past mistakes. As goblins forced introspection, as goblins and forced introspection are not your friends when you are escaping imminent explosions in Covenant Fire, it took the better part of two hours before we got it completed

with our minds fiercely fucked by the end of it. but we did it hope you are proud of us now you don't got to do that don't huff please don't yeah don't do that don't do it don't do it's don't do that don't do that you can have fun in a myriad of other words i'm not even like anti-substance but like that's kind of wild that's that's why don't do whippets yeah you don't got to do that i've dabbled with trumes you know never never never nah i'm a second i like that person i mean me neither really yeah yeah never i don't want to freak out and then fucking confront my inner stuff. The thing that's weird about it is that like it really is like

you're just... A stronger high is poisoned. Yeah. Well, that's doing alcohol. And you're just like an animal. You feel like an animal. Like you feel most at one with nature in that scenario where like you're nauseous. And you're just like I'm a poison. I'm like a fucking possum that ate a berry that I

shouldn't have eaten. And now I'm shivering. And now I'm shivering and I'm like thinking about ghosts. I've never seen anything, though. Like, it's not really... It is overstated, I think. The way the people talk about acid is probably crazy. I don't want to...

I don't want anything to do with that. That's too much. Shrooms are like, at least those grow in the... Like, there's like a reasonable assumption that like, oh, a natural person would have come across this. Fucking acid, isn't that like... It's LSD. It's just a drugs made. But it's like extracted.

Like, it's not naturally occurring, is it? No, it's just a drug. Someone created that. Right, yeah. That to me is like, I don't know. I don't need that. I don't mind the natural stuff because it's like it's fine. I'll do something one day maybe. I'll do something one day. I fucking. It's interesting. I haven't done coke in a while. It's a fascinating. Have you done coke? Yeah, twice. Are you serious?

No. I don't. What do you mean? That's totally believable. No. Have you met me? We have friends who've done coke. Have you met me though? Yes, Kingston. I don't do drugs, really. You feel like you're on drugs all the fucking time. I feel like it, but I don't do it. The way you scream sometimes is like you've been, you've done coke before. What do you mean?

You have a pre-coke scream. What does that mean? It means like you sound like you've, you scream like somebody who has inhabited the headspace of somebody who's done coke before. No, I'm just a little off. That's it. Not a coaxed.

We have a lot of friends who've done it. Oh, yeah, a lot of friends. I'm just not that kind of guy. Me neither. Drugs have always been kind of, I used to do drugs because I thought it was like, it'd make my mind be at ease. And then I did therapy and I was like,

oh, shit, I don't really need these no more. That's good. And I kind of stopped. Yeah, that's fair. By the time I moved out here, I was already kind of like well off of drugs. But also our friends back home smoked a lot. A lot. Yeah, I've never, I still have this day, have not smoked even a fraction of how much your friends probably smoke.

A lot. You smoke all the time. And I was like, I'm, I can't do this anymore. Yeah. I started burning out when I was like, I can't do that. Just be responsible. Yeah, I was in moderation. And two oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No whippins. That's fucking nuts. That's what I'm saying. Like, don't, don't do that. I want to be clear. A little bit of drinking, some smoking. Hey. Yeah.

Okay. Don't fucking. Even drinking is more of a no-no. But don't. Don't do N-2O. That's fucking wild. That shit literally burns away your brain. Don't fucking do that.

Yeah, don't do it. Let's see. It's nuts. It's crazy. Huffing Noss is crazy. Some people would do that one time when I was at a party in freaking La Grange. And they were huffing and I was like, I need to go home. I hate to leave

This is a white person party I can't be here Insane Let's see What do we got here What do we got here Byron noams left lactating Boobroden

Or Brian I always want to say Byron Because of the fucking why That's stupid name Says hey black blacker And person passing recently Oh person passing Wait am I

Are you saying that I'm person passing Like I pass as a person? recently y'all mostly chris talked about the uh loving the process of things oh the process of things oh are you talking about like when i yeah okay uh and it got me thinking is anything that was so shit god me thinking is anything that was so shit that it expanded your understanding and appreciation of other things for an example of what i mean i liked halo growing up but it took playing 10 minutes of halo five to really appreciate level design and artistry of previous hael Oh, so like something that was shit later

That made you appreciate previous things I'm sure there's a lot of that I'm fucking Star Wars a lot of video games In general For me see A lot of modern Marvel movies make me feel that way About like superhero movies that we used to have There's just so much

And they're all bad I think that's like overstating But like A lot of them are not necessary What the fuck was that quantum mania shit dude I saw that recently Why? Because I was just like, I heard nothing but bad things about that.

And I was like, I'm curious about it. John the majors had a good performance. That was terrible. And that, it was like, what the fuck is this? What's happening? Ant? That was fucking horrible. Hey, man versus King of Conqueror.

I was like, excuse me? What? Then a Modoc? I was like, Monarch is already stupid, but like... Modoc is already stupid. I was like, what the fuck? What am I? What am I?

What's happening right now? Everything's stupid and dumb. What else? I don't know. I feel like for me, what my biggest thing was... a thing that's made me realize how dumb shit is now is watching like just things that were like so fine we were younger a character that's having like like a female character showing up and once upon a time people would be like oh that's cool and now everyone it's always a problem yeah there's always a problem like oh black person shows up it's fucking woke and it's like well no there's just different kinds of characters and things man like this isn't it isn't like it isn't the problem because i do understand once upon the time they weren't really there weren't really that many different, like every hero had a particular look and a particular style. Because when was the first main character in a video game that was a black person that was like

out of the norm, like, oh, like a fantasy game with a black main character, you know? Right. It was the first one of those. And I can't really think of one. But like, when did it start being like, oh, there's a problem having this person that's different in these stories? And I get why they, like, conflicts with like, people like, oh, these stories told them at this place. But it's like there's, there's magic already, bro. there can be different kinds of people in this

I don't know everything's gay everyone's gay except for me I'm just looking for uh voicemails we haven't figured out a way to do these like well because like the uh audio quality both both when you download it and when you play through the mics is basically the same thing you can't put it on a speaker either for some reason

which makes me so fucking annoyed it is weird that you can't put it on speaker that has me up the fucking wool uh let me see let me just play this one I don't know I don't know who this is what we got anything in my last one. Don't worry.

Okay, so yesterday on the phone and I mentioned that I kind of want to go to a hotel room. I just get a hotel for a night by myself, no one around, get away for friends, you know, just be by myself, come on the floor and be how it feels and all that good stuff. But she made the joke, at least I hope it was a joke, that I was going to cheat on her in the hotel.

And then I said, what, with a prostitute or something? Because, Hurry the fuck up. Anyway, prostitutes, is it really cheating if it's a prostitute? Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. You left a two-minute voicemail. We're not going to go through that. It's crazy. Cheating on someone, and if you're doing something that you are afraid to tell your partner of,

involving anything relationship sexually, that's cheating. That's what I see it does. Anytime. Sure. If your partner, if you're saying a DM that your partner, you wouldn't want your partner to see, that's already suspicious. If you're talking to some of your partners,

once you're talking to, so, like all of that is damn near close. Yeah. Even for me, I think it's too far to buy fleshlights that are cast in a particular pussies. I don't know about that.

Because they're all like that. Or buying, or buying like, getting like only fans are like content from a particular kind of person. I think that's, that's a little too far as well, too. Paying for porn, I guess?

Not paying for porn. Well, that is kind of what it is. Paying for porn from a particular person. Like getting a custom video from somebody. That's a bit problematic. Maybe. I guess.

Because I don't think porn is cheating, but I think custom videos is like weird. It's a weird level of, like, particularness that you made. That's like, I think you shouldn't do that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

A prostitute is definitely cheating. Don't fuck a prostitute if you don't. Like, that's like unambiguous. It's not even in like the realm of, You're literally having sex with someone else. Yeah. That's ultimately, that's the real, that's the real meat and potatoes of what that is. If you're not considering cheating, then that's one thing.

Sure. It's fine. But everyone else is going to be like, you fuck someone. Yeah, there are people who don't, don't consider flirting cheating. You know what I mean? That's like that's. But like, I think if you're sleeping with somebody else, it's pretty clear. I think flirting is not cheating, but I think flirting opens the gates to that way too easily.

You shouldn't be doing that. Sure. Because if you wouldn't do that with your partner present, that's the thing. that's for me. Whenever it happens to like if you're afraid to do this when your partner's in the room, you should not do that when your partner's not in a room. That is my question.

It's like that's where your line is. Like don't do that. Yeah, that makes sense. Let's see. Trying to pick ones that are reasonable on time. Gotcha. Here you go. 30 seconds.

Good. What's up, guys? It's your boy, Max silhouette here. Oh. You got to say pretty funny. and pretty cool. My question to you guys is, what are we getting Chris in blackface?

You know, Robert Downey Jr. did it, and, you know, that's their beloved as he is. At the same time, amazing. Hey, dual wielding. Dual wielding is crazy. Not any time soon, I don't think. Why not? Just do it.

I just don't think I would look good. You don't care about looking good or you do blackface. I want to look right. I want to look. If I was going to do it, I would want to do it in the Robert Downey Jr. way. I would really want to do like all out.

Like I would want to, the way Drusky did it. You know what I mean? Like, because that at least, that at least to me is like a level of artistry. Like, because that takes a lot to be able to do that well. If I wasn't black, I do blackface. What do you say? If I wasn't a black person, if I was like a white person, I do blackface. I wouldn't want to do lazy blackface.

I would want to. I think that's the funniest kind though. That's why. Because that one is like, this is clearly not a person. That's a aberration. Right. But like, I would love to be able to convince. Vince. I would love to be able to

go in to do my makeup, do like do a Drusky level thing. You go to like a fucking My nose is going to be a problem though. You go to a Starbucks? Like that? Yeah. And just be like Like what?

How would you speak exactly? I would probably speak the same. Why? I would maybe just say the N word but like I would speak the same way. You got to go full sand, man. What's full sand exactly? It's fucking. You're a fucking black kid from Chicago

saying Jit and shit fucking yeah let me get I would probably just talk a little bit a little bit deeper

right I guess whatever whatever man go for I'm look man if you're gonna do something like that

you gotta go I would want to go full I would want to go full because at least at the very least I was like that's racist but it's well done

I think I would want the I would want the well done at the very least I'm going to do something racist don't want it to be like lazy. I'm, I don't know, man.

I think that, I think the lack of respect of comedy would make it funny a lot of time. So I think someone going in and like, dressing like a fucking monster from a fucking movie. Like, like, I want to do the Baba Yaga or like the Babadook. Like, so racist, it's unbelievable. Where it's like, what, that does the, black people don't look like that.

The big old red lips with the fucking, fucking black skin. I'd love to do that shit. Oh, my God, man. You're truly... Peak, dude. You're truly crazy. My sense of humor is fucked.

It's been fucked for a long time. Here's a quick one. Okay. I see it. I have a suspicion about what this one is. I want to ask if you would rather have $3 million but everyone's able to read your mind or eat a cheeseburger.

Cheeseburger. I think the $30 million. No. I don't think enough. I don't think enough weird shit for people to be about it. You'll spiral though. You will spiral.

What would be spiraling about it? Dude, like you'd say, someone read your mind you'd be like, oh, you'd be like, can you read my mind?

What about thinking of? Oh man, I'm thinking about fucking throwing puppies off a roof. Oh my God, what's happening? And everybody's hearing that whole fucking...

At that point, though, like, it's just, it's radical honesty at that point. It's like, oh, okay, fine.

I can't hide how I feel fine. Deal with it. Like, what do you mean? I would take a double, that's it. I'm taking the fucking money taking the money

I'd like some money wouldn't hurt wouldn't hurt wouldn't hurt all we're gonna read the names now of our patrons over at patreon.com slash just dark tank

would you rather be would rather be full of piss or full of blum what is blum bloody hum bright red I guess

piss It looks like the nesting strawberry What do you mean full of? Full of. What does that mean? Like my capillaries? Like you're more pissed than man. Well then it doesn't matter either way, is it?

I'm dead. I'm a dead person. I thought you meant like my stomach or something. It can't even ask them with that. It's a fucking insane. It is an insane question. Are you? I don't know no more.

Yeah, it's hard to tell. It's hard to tell these days. Anyway, we're going to read the names of our $25 and up patrons. We're doing a little shorter episode today. We want to figure out the voicemail thing We also want Derek here There's not a lot of news I want to save some questions for Derek

We got a lot of questions for Derek Which also kind of plays into it Derek Derek why are you gay Derek Derek? Derek why are you gay All of it is that Are you gay Derek? A lot of it is are you gay Derek

Why are you gay? Why Derek gay is are you That was one of them So we're just going to save it You gay A little bite-sized Pocket Podcast Yeah, pocket pussy

Pocket Pocket Pocket Count me down We're gonna read the names of our $25 No patrons now Remember? Go to Patreon.com slash Snark Tank You can go over there Early access, ad free

exclusive episodes You know the drill What drill Three, two, one D1 Insurmountable Skull Ford We made Charlie Squirt We are so fucking gay

Young Grain of Sand Chris's most loved music group Produced Snakes took a jog in New York City Now I have knee grow fatigue She tau on my setty till I four Game Informer I hardly know her Yeah I got PTSD

A post-traumatic sex dick The Great Unwashed Spud Kingston in a death sprint home To squeeze fresh shit out of Ming Like a Chinese gogird Chris's dad doesn't have PTSD He has great memories

The dumb slut that didn't get fired Because they factually on camera did nothing wrong different sad guy from Michigan. Confused guy who thinks there is a war on religion because of all the mass shootings. Cold Prue King. Alpha V, the gayest avalanche fan to ever exist. Go avalanches, go. Buy a man of fish.

Buy a man eat fish he day. Teach fish man to a lifetime. Longtime jerker, first time buster. Chris Sweeney's on my Derek until I piloted a black cash Patel. drunk at work. He's actually doing that. Big Chrissy, keep Chris as editor, please, please. I'm begging you, please, sirs, please.

It's me, that Malik guy, Stephen Bonnell, Yegam Nadrivitz, Sweeney's kids should be named King's son. What do you feel about that? I don't have kids. All right, well, if you do. None. Consider King's son.

No. Why not? Probably going to be either Miguel. Ragged under bloodage. After Miguel Landro, the pedophile? No, after like Miguel O'Hara. Oh, okay. What was the other name?

I don't know, Ragged on a blood edge. Jameson. Emmett Till, bringing an all-spark to fragment, bringing an all-spark fragment to Osama bin Laden's oceanic graves so I can resurrect him like Megatron. The only remaining starship can I'm on this barren earth. Halo 3 Wardhog Run while huffing nitrous oxide. Chris Gay.

A grunt punching a Marines' head smooth off. the dead spider trans femme paul i found that ikea casino owner getting bruno mars to sing billionaire on loop to make him think of his debt cuckold me now i'm six feet from the bed and i'm thinking maybe six p it ain't so much dong uh Sweeney is built like a thumb from spy kids i don't think so at all they're way thinner nine yeah they're actually like incredible like they're weirdly like lanky they're not maybe lanky's the wrong word but they're not i don't think of rotundas i am I don't see the comparison. Delta Gamma literally fed this toddler last week.

Why is it still crying? Clamuel Esquire. That reminds you. I got to check on my Tamadachi island. A tomagachi. I downloaded it maybe. On your switch? Yeah.

I needed a reason to fucking use the thing. Makes sense. I'm on Slutsville Island. I'm just surrounded by women. It sounds cool. It probably be awful. It's not going to. good.

It's not going well at all. Unsurprising. I mean, they're definitely going to invent anything. Klamy-L esquire the third, Blue Sanghili, Usur or Guildmaster, Timmy Turner wishing everyone were

Israeli instead of gray blobs. I wish everyone were Israeli because we're, yeah, Timmy, okay. Ding, ding. There's just immediately the kids every kid is like I fucking hate Palestine

Dude the kids over there Fucking crazy It's You see that guy who goes on Omegal And like he just like Matches with Israeli people And it's like there's kids being like Fucking we'll kill you

Whatever It's like bro Militant as fuck You ever see a little like Pakistani kids Talk about Indian kids It's crazy They're little

They're little It's like you already got the miraculous They hate these other children They don't know them So crazy They don't know them What happened And you're fighting for a country that doesn't even really care about you that much.

So fucking outrageous. Some nigga in a fucking office is telling you to hate them. That's it. Meanwhile, they'll never see war. It's crazy to me. That's possible. I know. It's crazy to me.

That's fucking real. We've let that happen. That wasn't how it was once. Yeah. Long, long, long, long, long time ago now. You're an officer. You take how you take, like, see you in a world. You have to go out there and fight with these people.

We failed so many classes, man. As hippies humans. We failed so many classes. We did. coming on Derek till he airing Homeboys be calling Homeboys be calling me kangaroo jaguar I'd be hopping on that nut sack

Chud Riddle me this Batman Can I masturbate in the cuck chair Or is that bad etiquette It's our anniversary I want it to be special Cytheria is Marcus Phoenix Squirt Sensei

Squirt Sensei is crazy They must have that In the industry right You gotta talk to Cytheria She knows stealing Sween's cock to make my hands look bigger What Berserker Broly's bang but sized penis

The Sloker 2-Wisoddurpee $25 patrons Are all invited to Swin's wedding Urethra Franklin Breaking News clavicular attempted fent maxing And got slump mugged Instead causing his dumb gay bitch levels to spike Managing my bull from the cuck chair A lot of cuck chairs though

Like the elusive man It's all the quartering people. The elusive man managing a cug is crazy. He's in their quietness to rotate slightly. Shepard.

Shepard. Shepard. Rotts slightly. Flipper. Do what I never could. That's so crazy. The fucking elusive man. Being a cuck is so crazy. I know we don't king shame or whatever,

but like I do. We try not to. I can't help it with that. I should just take your mind because I just don't know, man. It's so, it's so difficult for me understand. I really can't get in the headspace.

Everettily, I was propositioned to do that for someone? Nuts. Should have done it. I thought about it. I was like, I don't want some fucking guy in the room with me. It's wild. My assumption was that, like, he was going to try and kill me or something. You know what I mean?

I was like, I'm just like, I don't want a fucking third party just not encumbered also. I also don't want another guy there. So, like, what are we doing? The idea of like, I don't know, son about it feels like so disrespectful. Yeah. But I like women are my possession at the same time. So I'm trying to like, you know. Right, exactly.

It's actually forward thinking. You know, it's like. Yeah, yeah. It's backwards and forward thinking at the same time. It's like diagonal. It's like this woman doesn't belong to me, right? Sure. But I feel really fucking bad with someone fucking a woman that I love.

But I love her, I don't, she doesn't belong. She should be able to do that if she wants. But like, what's the point of us to be together if we have no saying should love to one another exactly yeah I'm too woke for my own good sometimes it's really annoying that is kind of crazy

you like circled yourself I've become I've become too woke it's like actually problematic yeah I think about it sometimes I'm like oh man I think could never be me

I'm way too woke it's really bad not really bad it's just like I have an aversion to it I don't think I could do it well you're from the time where like the woke

you had the bad version the wokeness around that's why pretty bad yeah I can't I, it's hard for me not to think that way now. Well, don't what to do about that. Nothing, man.

I'm just fucking, I'm just gonna become anarchist eventually. It's just, I'm just doomed to it now. Yeah. Anyway. Gay. The king of whack bastards, tank is the trash man, Sweeney's four ply ribs, Domo Nation, El Curetic. The snarktank's resident B-tubber, Derek Natchavent is innocent.

Hashtack, Friam, round that Asian boarding the plane, BK, crown in hand. Crazy work. Kingston. He has no carry-ons. It's just that. He has no close. clothes either. He's just, he's going in just with the Burger King Crown.

He's got, he's got, he made it through TSA like that because they thought it's like, yeah, you're really efficient. He's got, he looks at the guy from Kurtz Cowley Dog, the Asian guy. Oh, yeah. Same fit, but as a Burk King crown. Why don't you go, do you fool? But the Burger King Crown? Yeah. No robots or nothing, just the fucking right in hand. Kingston in the Power Pop Girls, riders are going to be like, what if instead of the Rowdy Rough Boys?

They were the rowdy rough and words. I would have chose the N-word Rough Boys, but yeah That's crazy Anyway The King of Hapazard To all the viewers in the military I pray every day that every single one of you dumbasses are killed in action Are you reeling in the queers

Blowing away the gays Or the guys Chop suey but all the words are grenade Queen of Faphaazard Cockedemus Prime versus Fagotron We fight for cybertrans For the all-cock Nice.

Nice. Bars. Fucking schizo shit. Bars. This is anti-natalist propaganda. Bald, blue-eyed German man waiting for...

By the way, I keep seeing that about pragmata. Right? Or it's just like, oh, all this... There's an antinatalist propaganda that's being undone by this game because it's making people see the joy

of having kids or making people want kids or putting people in parenting roles. I'm like, I don't know if you've played video, games for the last fucking 10 years. It's a lot of fucking parenting video games. You know what people have kids more? You know what people have kids more? Better security and having kids, better wages.

Yeah, and affordability. Healthcare. Healthcare, yeah. Housing. I think I would have had a kid already, actually, to be honest with you. If the world wasn't so shit, having a kid would be no problem. It'd be like, you're so, as humans are supposed to want to have children, right? Like, it's a part of our fucking design.

Yeah. I'm going to go out here and fucking have kids, right? But the fact that we're afraid to do that because the world we live in is so scary for them is the greatest failing. Yeah. It's not affordability. It's so easy. I saw somebody trying to argue for it.

It only cost me $5,000 to deliver my baby. I'm like, brother, what? To deliver a baby? A natural process? You realize that used to be free? That's like, oh, it only cost me $300 to take my shit. Are you stupid? Are you insane?

They used to be free. You understand? And it should be. Why the fuck would, why the fuck would I spend $5,000 to have a child? That's going to cost me even more money. Are you kidding? At the very least, at the very least, the birth should be free.

That I could bring into this world. It can live in a life where I could lose its rights. It could be endangered. Right. All these things. But that's always true. No, it's always true. And that's the thing.

It's always been true, but now it's more shit on top of that. Exactly. And that's what makes it fuck. That's where it gets fucked. Like Lily's cousin, the one that we're very close with what I love for kids. She said, we should have kids. telling me, like, you should have kids. And this is the biggest problem.

People that don't want kids are the people that probably should be parents the most. That's the biggest problem with child care in general. But also, a lot of people shouldn't have kids. Yeah. And they don't like a hearing of that. It's really tough. Like, I'll tell people if I'm, like, if a few of my friends have kids,

I'm like, you probably shouldn't have kids right now. Yeah. Actually, you shouldn't have kids. Right. I have maybe three or four friends and I'm like, it'd be good if you had said kids right now. Yeah, maybe. I think Zig and Jordan.

I think they'd be good parents. They have kids. They can afford it. They have a good place they stay. They have good jobs that make them decent money. Sure. And they have a system that works for them. Yeah.

I think Mick would be a great father. Sure. Maybe a fantastic father. That's it. That's it. Like how you love smoking out specifically. Oh, making smoke. Well, obviously, they'd be great parents together.

Why? I'd like to be good parents together. Yeah, I don't know. Smoky's a little. I think that I think that would raise a very good child. She's a little. So, so, so are you? You.

So? I'm allowed to be. I have a penis. No, I mean, girls are more allowed to be crazy for anything than women, men are women. Are you sure? Girls are front. Look at the White House. Girls are, don't, did you just do a, you just did a Leno joke?

What the fuck he's wrong with you? Cut the tape. Cut the tape. Continue. Go back? I think a lot of people shouldn't have kids. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't think I should have kids right now.

I should not have kids, right? No. There was a period of time in, in, uh. When you were younger. A couple years ago where I probably could have done it pretty well. And I was like, no. I kept telling you no. I could have done it though.

I think I think I would have been fine. This is the thing. I think you would not be a bad father, but I don't think you'd be a great father. And I think children deserve great fathers. I think I would have been better back then, I think. I think you could be a good dad. I think you'd be a good dad. But I don't think children deserve good dad.

I think children deserve great parents. Sure. Every child should have a great parent. Yeah. I think, well, really it's. So few of us even have good parents. That's the problem. Really it's the partnership, I think

Because like a good dad with like a shit mom or like a good mom with a shit dad No, it shouldn't be that's like kind of It kind of nullifies You need two great parents You need two great parents I think we I think you even need two good parents Like that's the thing it's like too good is good

That works It's asking for a lot. That's asking for a lot Because a lot of times people are just like You meet people and you're like No you see it One of you is out of sync No For real.

Like, you probably could. You can't. And because you can't, neither of you should. I think about it all the time. Like, I think, I think I'm not going to be a good father. I think Lily has the potential to grow into becoming a fantastic mom. I don't think she's there yet, though. I tell her that to her face all the time.

Sure. She has so much to worry about, dude. She has like, she's like a, she's the opposite of me where she worries about shit a lot, you know? And I think that's just, like, that's not good for her having kids right now. Yeah. Real shit. Like, I don't know, man. I think about it.

You get older than you start looking for that specifically. He starts looking for it's like, I don't even care necessarily how you, like, how, how are you, how good are you at handling situations? Like, that's all it is. Because that's all life is that, like, if you're 22, it's like, I don't care. You're just hot. And we get along. That's fine. And then what happens?

You go, you have kids at that age. That's the problem. You have kids at that age. And you're like, fuck. Sure. This person is. Because I, sure, but even that's like a benefit to in some sense. Because like, you think I became an adult?

When do you think I became like actually an adult where I have had on shoulders? You became an adult? That's fucking crazy. But when do you think I became that person? I think maybe in like a couple years. In a couple years I will become that? You don't think I'm there yet? That's crazy.

What are you asking? When do you think I became like a person that's like I have a good head on my shoulders? I grew into that version of myself. I would say 26. For myself, 26. I would say probably when you guys moved in. That's when you think I was like, oh, I submitted myself like, I got it now. I still think there's ways to go.

I think I'm pretty... I think it's nice to go for all of us, really. But I think that's when I like... Sure. That's satisfactory. Yeah. At that point, 26 is too early, I think. For children?

No, I mean, for what you... The question you were asking. 26? I think it's when I kind of like, I kind of got it. I was like, okay, cool. I know how do I have to behave a maneuver? Sure. I still wasn't ready for a kid then, though.

Yeah. Absolutely not. No way. I think maybe now I can have a child. Maybe now, but I don't want a child. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm less situated now in comparison. Because now I'm more concerned about it

Before like I would have been so My concern would have been so lax That it would have not It would have been better Because like I wouldn't be stressing In the same ways I don't know I think they deserve that

I think that's what they deserve They deserve someone But you think that But then like you're You think that And then you're raised with people Who are like high anxiety Because it's like

And then it's not ideal It was not ideal My mom's anxious My mom's an anxious person for sure. She's a great mom, but like she's very anxious. It's a lot.

My grandmother was, my grandmother was depressed. She was sad. She lost a lot of people in her life and she was still like time. And she had you. Then her final role was me. She's like,

oh man. I lost my favorite daughter to get this nigga. That's wild. This fucking idiot sitting fire in my kitchen throwing balls outside running away and getting lost.

What a piece of shit. Dude, but I have so much character. Yeah, I mean, it's better. At least to get something out of it. You gotta have character. You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't look, look, you can't be uninterested, you can't be all of that and on interesting. Look, I realize every day that I can't be as much of a

fuck up as I am without at least being cool. Like, having a cool personality overall. Right. Because I realize, that saves a lot of us to be frank. It really, it has saved me so much more than it. It's got me out of a lot. I can't even, I don't even understand my standing really. Like it's gotten me out of a lot Yeah

Like I'm really good at making friends And I'm fairly cool And that's all I really got going from me And that's taking me To this job You know That's paying for my bills Yeah

So I understand like that's a thing And imagine if I didn't have any of that And I was also just shitty too Yeah You can't be shit You gotta have something You gotta balance You gotta have something

Nothing worse than like somebody Who sucks and is uninteresting You know what I mean Like that's the way Like as I've met people like that. I'm just like, brother, you suck and it's not interesting that you suck? You don't even have like a fascinating way in which you're busted or like broken, you just fucking or you just don't have any

Oh, I love the Yankees. Like it's flat and shitty. That's it? Like really? You don't got a, and you suck because you like the Yankees? Because that's crazy. That's it. It's the because. Yeah, it's just like, I'm only focused on baseball man. I'm like, you should kill yourself. That's so brutal. What? I don't know. I just. you shouldn't. But like, I'm just like, I don't know, man. I mean people like that sometimes.

Back home, there were a lot of those. I mean people like that. I'm just like, I'm blown away, but it's just like you got nothing to you, man. Like you're not quirky at all. You don't got interest. Like,

I've met that. I've met a lot of people. Yeah. It's like a monotone fucking person. You're a one dimensional human. I think most people aren't actually one dimensional, but a lot of people are front facing one dimensional, you know? That's potentially true, yeah.

I think you're probably right. I think there are one dimensional people. But, like, yeah, more people, more people who come across is one-dimensional are probably one-dimensional front-facing. Yeah. I would agree. But seriously, fucking, I don't know. Get a more interesting.

Because I thought, I thought, get more interesting character flaws. I thought Louis was a very relatively simple girl. She's like, she's like not, she's not like us. Yeah, she's incredibly boring. I wouldn't say that. She's a chore to talk to her. That's insane. That's insane.

Go on. That's insane. What? You think she's a boring person? Every time she speaks, I'm bored to tears. I want to die. every time she's actually kind of interesting at that moment. If someone's so bored, they make you want to cry.

You're like, yo, dude, you're fascinating in the worst way. Have you ever cried from being so bored? I've definitely gotten really upset for being so bored. I cried once in fucking Virginia once. Because I was like visiting family and I just didn't have my Game Boy died or whatever. But that's not. But that's breaking down more than this crying from being bored. No, but I was really like I was sitting there and I was thinking about all the things that I could be doing

and I can't do and like all the stuff that I had available to me and I sat there and I silently cried it wasn't even like a loud cry I was like maybe like nine or like 10 or something

and I just I was so bored that I was actually physically straight up free literally bored to tears were you fretting like even too like were you like actually crying or you're just kind of like sobbing? I was well isn't sobbing worse

sorry you know how like were you like actually like move to tears at a point you were like like what are you doing that I was kind of like years, I was like gasping a little bit. I was like in the closet. I was sitting in a dark closet by myself

because it was the most interesting thing to do. That's so sad. That's so sad from the stupidest reasons ever. Just go out and make fun. And you were just like, I can't. It was raining. And it was like, it wasn't in like a walkable neighbor. Everything.

Dude, there was nothing. I couldn't even go outside and like fuck with bugs. You know what I mean? Jesus. There was nothing to do. And I remember my cousin came. I was like, you okay? I'm like, I'm so bored with tears of my eyes.

I've been. And he was like, I know. Pobre. Let's go. I don't know. We made like pop tarts or something. And you were like, yay. No, I was like this sucks still.

This pop darts are great. It was like some fucking raspberry. Yeah, it was like raspberry. Raspberry is my least favorite. They're so bad. They're so bad. There's so many decent flavors that somebody gets raspberry. Like, fuck.

You. What's your favorite pop chart? I kind of want pop charts now. Probably, like the chocolate ones. The chocolate ones? Because I don't like, I don't like the fruit-favored ones.

They feel they taste like fake fruit. I know what you mean. I grew up with the blueberry ones, though. So I have like a weird, I have like a weird fondness for the blueberry ones. Even though I know that they don't taste good. The small ones are good too. Small ones are really good.

See, the small ones taste too much of candy to me. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's why, though. Or the chocolate gram-cracker sides. Like, I don't like pop-tarts very much anymore. Like, I don't think I'd ever eat them again. I would have one every now and again

I would never like frequently patron their store I think the problem now is that like I'm not poor enough or young enough to be like I'm gonna eat Pop Tarts It's just a little thing

It's like I can just get something I can just make throw something together I have an air fryer I got a rice cooker You know I got all the like the I got all the cook for me essentially things now You know Yeah

But I'm like might as well just throw something the air fryer and then fucking, you know, handle it like that. You know, it's great? What? We lost a lot of that video. What? Are you kidding? Are you kidding?

No. Are you kidding? No, I'm not joking. Are you kidding? The audio's fine, whatever. We'll put a picture of a... No. No.

We'll put a picture. No! No! No! Oh my God. No. I forgot. the two-hour thing.

Yeah, it's okay. These things happen, man. Dude, I'm fucking locked out, man. Whatever. I'm done. I'm done carrying rest of episode. Fuck you just read the names thing. What should we put a picture of? I don't know, fucking Mario's asshole. We should blur out his asshole, but blur it out exactly where his asshole is.

So you clearly know what this asshole's stuff. Dude, one of the four YouTube videos uploaded is a video of, um, it's a video of a stick figure doing a George Floyd thing to somebody else. What do you mean? Like I upload a video on YouTube one of like four I've uploaded and it's a video of like some guy like a sick figure and you know another six figure snack. And that's the. All right. We got to go.

We got to go now because. That's a thumbnail. I guess I won't bother with a camera. Oh, it's a fully audio podcast now. We don't got to worry. We can finally, uh, we can finally vomit on screen and not be judged about it. I'm so out of the room. I don't know what I'm going to put on the screen.

Anyway, bald blue-eyed German man waiting for Expedition 33 movie with Sween as Lunae flying around the screen. I'm not taking my penis off. I am homo O'Toole detransitioning, so I'm not gay anymore. Snark Tank's honorary leftist, Chris Fat Gay Gun. Thugzilla watching Mecca Obama versus Mecca bin Laden, swing set for GTA glitch. Chris, you could be a killer fan boy. Snark Tank's gayest Hollywood Undead fan. Emilio, the Chosen Juan.

This way up, V. some have to poop knives some have poop knives I have a piss ladle It makes me happy to hear one of you make a joke And then the other two take a completely different direction God your thing cut out Sorry, I can't read the rest of it

Sweeney would look so good as a trans woman Big Meady stinks, Canola Joe Oh by the way, claviculous Odied on meth It's about time anyways Gay actor Rosebud Delicious Keith David narrates 9-11 Sorry I can't I had a burrito

there's a parallel universe where Scooby-Doo says N instead of R. I saw it yesterday. I put it in the chat. Do you see the thing I put up with Scooby-Doo in the chat for the Christmas for Jesus? Oh, no, I didn't see it. What was the Scooby-Doo-Doo? It's horrible, but I'll show you. No, don't show me because then I'm going to have to put it in.

I'll check it. I'll check the chat. Oh, my God, you bitch. Great, thank you. This should be it. This should be the whole thing. this is a fucking mess This whole thing's a fucking mess

Hey man It's because Derek has our normal equipment He has the drive that we usually use Oh he has a regular drive of everything Oh yeah He's just adding it last Uh He'll be better soon don't worry

Venezuela watching Watching a Heath Taco From Japanese Bell Gids Gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're gay and we're Still inward still inwards Shout out to Galen Or Galene

Sweeney's making me racist Homophobic and fatphobic silly silly faggot tricks are for kids please well I didn't say it that's a direct quote from the trickser rabbit please play Tainted Grail

it's like Skyrim and Marwin except the combat and writing is actually fantastic go ahead speak a little Chinese form Derek Rosebud delicious Let's see A jackal jackal jackal it looks like a jackal it's a jackal It looks like a jackal it's a jackal it a jackal Chris give me your man milk I'll suckle on you the queen of systematic

board pie horrors beyond your comprehension guest star dummy uh currently big in j uss uh... i made the suck and fuck list i tag you all on twitter at frank and tubby jz z empire state of mind podcast with special guest chris barnes to the tune of the noose and three eleven guy to the tune down seven five demi god victor wembanyama versus former idea of soldier david ad vigena advegina i don't know what that fucking name is in round one four weeks since episode three 99 give me your meat boy i need that poll i want to get rammed in my gaping hole i'm fucking gay uh goon devil the man without come booty wonderland earthwind and dick i find bromance and when i start dance dance dance dance hey hey dance dance band's booty wonderland bat batty boy became batiman uh you're not

getting gay or you're just getting gay smitchie the gay mr jimmy jane avatar the last pissbender max silhouette flat bush frank jubilee presents one lockness monster versus 20 conspiracy theorists purposely running over butterflies when mowing purpose is crazy lynching randy find as soon i find a rope is strong enough and tree strong enough may car she hulks on my Hogan till I dude brother. Star Coffee, pressure cooking, Sween's greasy balls in my ass. I get all the news exclusively from the snark tank.

Yush, her son was a linebacker, but now plays for an orchestra. I said, damn, girl, you have a huge pianist. I'll suck off a thousand gay men before I let this limb biscuit dry. Sad blur, be like, boo-hoo. Craig the Canadian, king in the north, who up beetle in their borgs right now? It's your boy, Shawnee Dee,

the court jester of haphazard. Act Rock is this true? And finally, the real king of haphazard? Cute fact. Mosquitoes piss on you to make more room to suck blood. If I had nine lies, I used eight of them to blow my shit smooth off in front of innocent over, in front of people over minor inconveniences. Game of the year guy just being on tried in one and two, moving on to GTA 4, America would be like, feed kids, lull, I'd rather bomb them. In sixth grade, I got in trouble for laughing at the footage of the Challenger explosion. Drip MH, Lord of Colin doubling down. Barney's beanery is that place where they go to make all the Mexicans.

Dick's so dirty, they call me Richard Nixon. Filthy. Filthy. Moriariari is a filthy. It's a self-recllaimed Zionist, by the way. Trump walks like a reverse boogeyman. What is that? Some weird fucking machine upstairs.

Someone fell in the vacuum. I guess so. Someone fell in the vacuum. Ben 10, watch that lets you turn into ten different sex offenders. Kremlin to Gremlin. And final stretch. Then we're out of here. I'm really curious what image I'm going to put on this.

Where can I find that snark tank furry art? Shot Uncle Bandicoot. Me going to Grape until you die. We're going to kill you, Billy. We're going to kill you in the guy. We're going to kick you at semen, Billy. We've gone to leave you dead in the street. Shamwow guy went on Timcast.

Last but not least, King of Hephazard. Teenage Swin, making raps, be like, someone call me. Haven't sucked dick since yesterday. Wage Slate 583, the Jelker. Want to know how I got these scar. The Pippini Bros. hoping that Hideo Kajima gets the voice in the last episode of Smiling Friends. Donk-Donkersen, homeless Chris. Gay Thoughts or Son-Ddaughter. Pee-P. Call Your Mom a Canaanite, the way she worshipping my balls.

Elipsis. I saw the real vid of the head entering the girl. I want to know, have you ever been gay, coming on gay, the meanest lesbian in Michigan. Autism Awareness. Yeah, I'm very aware that I have autism. John Strickland, Cryo Hopeful. The First Church of Key, David, presents a conservative, unironically asking for a straight parody. Lee Harvey Obama, Pree Raz, the Broke Rowan Experience. Derek eats hot dogs for the shape, not the taste. How I wash in the shower. How I wash in the shower. Dick, ass. Dick again. Feet. Ass again.

Face. Armpits. Face again. My dog screams when I wipe buffalo sauce on him. Navster of puppets. King dad of haphazard. What if the Big Bang was just the gun going up in God's mouth? Horton hears a Jew. They're in the tunnels.

Alternate reality where Kingston becomes a nurse and still uses the phone, his phone when his patients are dying. Monkey Monks Monkey Monastery. Don't call it a comeback. I never stopped coming. Sweeney kicking old Hispanic women over and running away. WWE Studios made Surf's Up 2. That is true. What?

That is true. They recasted everybody for Surf's Up as wrestlers because WOWB bought it. Jordan and I were talking about this at the observatory, I think. Or maybe not. I can't remember. We talked about it at some point. I want Derek to be here for that, so Jordan, keep that name. I'm not going to write that down.

He gives a shit. Everything's fucked today. What the fuck, dude? We don't have the right equipment. Everything's wrong, man. Everything's wrong. Fredos picking up Amir and kissing him for nine minutes. Bowdy da Obal.

Ass man. Asmongoloid. A kneel of the caveman wearing Boz of the Clown's pelt as a trophy. Voicemail bitrate couldn't transmit Morse code. The snark gang riding the cock carousel of the RE franchise, including Mr. X and nemesisysus and making a tier list for extra ammo. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. Peasants Graham.

Aetherian has the past because he took a loss of his hard ass. Pergerian hunters Freemented Cream Pie Frying bacon with my shirt off Marcus Chief and Cortania Nefram in rounding out of our list

as always King of haphazard Not dead and so back That's it To this half video Half audio episode Of the Stark Tank podcast Star Tank

Patreon Patreonatcom slash Stark Tank Remember we can go over there We'll have everything sorted out Next episode We'll get the equipment from Derek

I'm using a hard drive that's not built for this. So we had to remember to stop the recording before we hit two hours. We forgot. We did not. Yeah. It was only like 10 minutes.

We were engrossed in a real conversation. It's fucking gay, man. Anyway, see you next time. Bye. It's not gay. That's wrong being gay. It's just stupid. It's stupid.

It's stupid. Not gay. Keep saying that.