The Snark Tank - #433: I Heard Spider-Man Was There

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

How is it going, everybody? Welcome to the Star Tank podcast. It's me. It's them. You know us. But if you don't, go over to Patreon.com slash StarTag. And give us money, sign unseen. I think that's like the best way to go about it in this economy. You know, the best of the best.

way to live, I think. Yeah. Is to just spend money on things that you don't fully fully understand. Yeah. You're not fully aware of. Yeah. Give me, there's nothing better than paying me money.

I, you specifically, it's probably never been a more wrong answer to that. Nothing better as a paying. By the way, guys, your money's in good hands. No, we've missed some shows. People been sick. People.

I, I, I, soy, me. People have been sick. I hate it because I never, I never get sick. That's what makes it so bad. I had to go to hospital. Yeah. That's your time. Yeah.

Okay. I have never. I have not been like, I got a fever and I was like, oh, that's cool. And then I effectively almost fell out of my shower. So Lily came into the shower and I was sitting down with soap on me, naked, sitting on the floor. Like, oh, my God. I was like, hey, honey. This is like actually really bad.

He can't even get the soap off of you. Dog, I was like, how is this is actually bad? He texted us and he was like, hey, I'm in the ER. I was like, yo, what the fuck? Yeah. Like, what a wild thing to hear. You passed out, I guess. Dude, I don't, I don't complain about being sick.

I'm not that kind of guy. Well, no, I bitch about it. But I don't like, if I'm sick, I can do things, though. Like, I don't know. I've worked a fucking food service job. I've been nearly dying there before. And I'm like, I fuck it. I'm just moving my way through it.

That was bad. I hate having fevers. If I have another one, no flu. If I'm having a flu, if I have it again, I'm offering myself. I'm not dealing with it. I'm going to kill myself. I refuse. When's the last time you had the food?

Oh, dude, maybe I was eight. Eight? That can't be true. Maybe I was eight. To the fact that I know, like the fact that I noticed it. Like, I might have had COVID. I think that was worse of COVID. Oh, damn.

You even sound. Yeah. Yeah. You're disgusting. I don't want to be anywhere. near you for quite some time. Yeah, which is a bummer. I like, that's why I said, let's not do. I was, I caught off. Hey, guys, let's not do in person. I don't want to kill somebody. Oh, no. I know. No way in hell. Yeah. I can't. I can't. I hate being sick. I, I,

I risk it now with disgusting freaks on the train. And there's all these like menonite type people, or these Amish motherfuckers. When I ever, I use their Amtrak, they're always there. And that you know they're, they never vaccinate for shit. And they could be harboring many diseases that have not shown their faces in quite some time. He walks up to you, his fucking, his fucking arm under his jacket. Jacks went out. Hey, nice to meet you. He reaches his hand out to shake your hand.

And you're like, bro, you're just busting your hand and you try to shake my hand. You know what I will shake your hand, actually. I feel like they look like Westger at the end of Resonable 5. And they're just like, hey, how are you doing? are like, God bless you this day, this fine day. This is this tentacles flopping everywhere. And I'm like, ah,

that's probably contagious. I feel like they see you because they're black and they obviously don't have those in their, but they don't have those in their fucking in their server. So they're probably like, oh my goodness. Are you magic? Yeah, am I like a site? Like, I'm, I'm the,

the scenic row is us like just, ooh, look at that. Well, I'm sure if they're taking public transportation, they probably have seen enough of you guys or the ones that predated them have seen enough to give lore to be like they're out there. They do see some of them.

Unfortunately, Amtrak is the, it's the white train. It's the one where like the people who are usually privileged enough to travel a lot, go on vacations, and the metro is for working niggas. And so that's where you see all the niggas,

man, the metro. And the homage people do not take the metro. I've never seen one one time on a metro link. They'd rather die. You want me to sit next to Mexican for how long? But how long? I did what one guy was probing to steal my scooter one time, like my electric scooter. Like I put it in the designated area and then I sat around the corner where I can't see it.

And then I saw, I saw this fucking, this dip shit peeking around the corner like, kind of like, is anybody around kind of a thing? So then, of course, I went downstairs and sat by it. And he was like, oh, is that yours? I'm like, you piece of shit. You piece of shit. If I wasn't paying attention, that nigga would have fucking just strolled off. I mean, you know. You should have said no.

Oh, and just see what he did? See what he did. You should have said no. And then like as soon as you tried to take it, you unload a 9 millimeter into his gut as fast as you possibly. As fast as I can. Like it's a semi-automatic, but I treat it like a six-shooter. I'm putting, I'm like, bap-b-b-b-b-s. over a scooter is so great

not even like a not even like a not even like a violent altercation where you had to like defend yourself you were like worried you might die is just like hey you're walking off slowly with my scooter you catch up to him immediately

and just spamming the hammer on him bro fanning the fuck out of the hammer on his guy he's in the middle of he's in the middle of handing it back to you he's like oh man you know he's like you know what this is actually a really bad idea he's about to say, I'm sorry, you just riddled him, dude.

I mean, how many videos have you seen? Maybe not the video itself, that's usually rare, but the aftermath of just the slightest altercation turning into someone emptying their entire magazine. You didn't wait way more than, way more than probably 98% of the population I've seen. Way more. Me personally have seen it a lot of times and I'm like, this is not necessary. people don't need to die A former NFL player

His ex-wife or his whatever His girl was being stupid And she called her Her relatives to like Quote unquote kill this guy Right they they pull up And they get into a little scuffle Dude runs back into his house

grabs the AR-15 They start running away Dude unloads for at least 40 and just as they're driving away, of course, kills one of the guys in the back seat. And, you know, he got lucky that, like, that there was text messages that, like, the chick said, oh, like, fuck his shit up, like, end his shit, you know?

Otherwise, that would have been a clear case of, like, dude, they were fleeing. You can't kill him anymore. But he just had that little, well, he was also in Florida. So he got lucky. He was in Florida. and there was evidence that like they would have but it's clearly in any other state they obviously weren't going to kill you because they did it and they were fleeing once a gun came out. Nah, it doesn't matter. It's a I know for other people would say you can't take risks.

You can't take risk. I know there's a lot of people that would completely, you know, they're completely on that side. I completely understand that. I just kind of also understand the when the threat has subsided in many cases that have. entirely kidding. That's insane. It is crazy. It's insane. Because it happens when you shoot like that, you don't know where the bullets are going. Oh, yeah. That's the biggest problem.

It's like, yo. They went out all over the neighborhood. If you're shooting someone that's in your home even, right? With a rifle in general. A lot of things I think one, people don't understand what rifles are and they haven't shot them. I have shot rifles. These weak-ass guns, right? Rifles are crazy. They are crazy.

They're not that sure. To you. To you, but your phenotype and skin color also makes you understand why you don't think they're crazy. To the average person, which is probably still you again. So never mind. By the velocity, they're the least. Your handguns, I'm rifles. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm definitely handguns with a switch on it for some reason. You're a handgun American. That's correct. Dude, I've even even freaking power like which high powered handguns are like, yo, this would really hurt somebody if they survive. Did you guys see that one story about somebody shooting? It might have been like a 45. They're at a gun range and they missed like it missed the like, you know, the wall or whatever that's supposed to absorb it.

And then it made it was the goofiest like this kid was meant to die kind of thing. Like a trick shot, right? Like it bounced off of like some. crazy thing crossed like a highway, bounced off a mirror, cooked eggs, and then ricocheted off the floor and hit some kids sitting at a chair and some DMV somewhere. Yeah, it was something as wacky as he described it. It was so wacky that I was like, how did this thing even have enough, like, force left to still kill someone? Did I said you guys, did you guys, did you guys, did I said you guys this video I saw some guy talking about, like, how he was like, he was like tripping on drugs or whatever.

And he was arguing with his feet. He was arguing with his own feet and then he pulled this gun out and shot it. You bet you ain't going to say shit no more. He shot it and it was like a, wasn't it like a magnum or something? They didn't have like a huge gun? It was a desert eagle. Oh. He had like, I was like, yeah.

And he was like, yeah, I bet you ain't going to say nothing to his foot was talking so much shit or his feet, I should say. I wish I had the courage to shoot my own feet off. If you're on Andrew, Chris, you must. Yeah, he was on PCP, Chris. He wasn't him. Like, he was a passenger. But you're saying you wish you had the courage to do it of sound mind. Well, yeah, just the confidence with which somebody could get, like, the idea that somebody could inhabit a brain space where their confidence is high enough where they don't even think twice about shooting their own feet off.

Like, that level of certainty in something that is so, it's pretty cool. dare I say subjective I respect it I say stupid yeah I respect it listen I still have to take a deep breath when like like I've done I've injected my testosterone

probably I don't know hundreds upon I don't know if it's thousands I would have to quantify that I can do the math actually but anyway I still take a deep breath before I do it

even though I know it's just the same sensation the same slight little pinch I still need to like prep and go like all right and i can only imagine what you would have to do dude i well because the thing is like i i walk outside and often oftentimes when i'm outside i have to check my pockets to make sure i didn't forget my phone my wallet my keys i do this multiple times a day like when i'm outside like that is the lack of confidence that i have in the fact that i have brought my phone with me

but they have such intense confidence to just be like i'm going to shoot my feet off i think like no doubt in your mind that you're going to shoot your feet up. Let's get a class. Let's start a cult and we can convince people to have the... This is the right direction, yes. Yeah. What do they call it like the monks, they mind over matter? Like that kind of thing.

Right. Let's do it to where all of a sudden you have now trained your brain. It was like the guys that set themselves on fire and they were just, to me, a little hard. I'm going to break character for a second. Those motherfuckers were on drugs, right? Like, they were clearly on drugs. To stochly set themselves on fire and not move.

The monks that emulate themselves? Yes. Yes. Emanate. Yeah. They're definitely, it's self-immolation. They're definitely, they're definitely lathered in like, I don't know, anesthetic or like they're drugged out on something.

Like, they're doing something clearly. I think they believe in something. And I just don't think we do. I feel like that's the cool explanation. I think they just have belief. But I'm like, those guys had so much heroin in their systems. Like heroin and belief. Like heroin and belief.

Like, you one and they both can go coincide. No, you do both. Because it doesn't matter when you believe. If you don't believe in ghouls or like demons or ghosts, but I screamed at you in the middle of the night, you know, you'd still be afraid. It doesn't make your body would react with fear. It doesn't matter what you believe. But they are, they are different, Chris.

They're not, though. They're different. They're just bald. No, they're just, they're trained. They're different. They're different from your eyes. You ever see them kick each other in the balls and not react? Sure.

I bet I could scare the shit out of one of those. I bet I bet I could make one of them people. If I really just denounced my humanity and just was like, all right, you know what? All holds barred. Yeah, Chris. If you know, Chris, if you went as fucking evil as possible, yes, you could very much so frighten a monk. I think I could break a monk, I bet. But the thing is that it there, how to.

If I set them on fire, they wouldn't be stoically sitting there being like, oh, I guess this is how I go. You know, they would definitely be looking for a way to stop it. That's why. I think it is own believing. If you set a monk on fire next to a pool, would he jump in or would he just accept it? It depends on why he's on fire. Right. Is it principled self-imilation or did it's not self-immolation?

And you set him on fire and it's like, what the fuck? I'm going to jump in the pool. Exactly. I think it's the reason why. You wouldn't get it. Jokes on you. The pool is gasoline. That.

crazy. In this economy, God damn. That is just absurd. It's like $6 trillion in gas. That's crazy. You got seen how much like recall shit that's been happening nowadays. It's obscene. It's hilarious.

I'm scared to eat anything. Oh, yeah. I've been having some weird like issues and I was like, was this because like I had a few hamburgers? I'm not even sure. I swear. I'm just like, I'm starting to minimize. I hate a few sandwiches and now I'm dying. That's crazy.

I'm like, I'm getting to the point where I was like, you know, I think I think I'm, because even people would say, oh, cook at home. It's like, yeah, but you take home that meat that they prepared. So now I have to kill a cow on myself if I want a fucking burger. Yeah,

we got to go, we got to go out one day and record. We got to get a camera crew to follow us. We're going to go into the woods and kill a bunch of deer and eat them there on the spot. Hey, there we go. Kill several dolphins. Get,

in touch with our ancestors like that fucking freak, that bearded guy, that try to kill Joe Rogan. Leverking, liver king, liver king. Santa? Yeah. What the fuck? Insane. Santa,

Santa tried to kill Joe Rogan. On the podcast, he's like, well, it's good to have you, Santa. I've been, you know. You're a naughty man, Joe.

Ho, ho, ho, hold, and takes out a gun. A gun. He has a Christmas gun. Oh, ho. And he has a rifle on him. He kind of brandishes it a little bit. Oh.

Always got one on me, Joseph. Joseph, you've been a naughty boy and I'm going to murder you now. That's hilarious, Santa. You're so awesome. Wow, that's interesting. You know, Santa, there's really only like 50 people who are as funny and clever as we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not funny or clever.

I'm here to kill you, Joseph. I understand that, but let me just, I just, I want to let me get this point across, you know, like I really need you, I need you in the audience to really, really digest the fact that there's really only like 50 funny people on the, on the planet. And we are that, we are one of them. I am one of them, at least.

I don't know about you, Santa. I don't know about you, Mr. Claus, but, uh, I'm really like that. You're one of the most important people on the planet. you're real you get the job done I'm not you're real you're actually here it's incredible how you're able to to deliver billions of presence in 24 hours it's crazy how you do it's actually less than 24 hours it's pretty crazy you're one of the most important people on the planet just like me you know like I deliver so much news to people that's Santa you're really fucking like that Santa you know that right like you're

actually like that like me do and Santa is it's just liver king it's just liver king with a red hat on and Joe Santh is he said to go out of the Jerogan experience and then like three days later he kills his wife he kills Mrs. Claus that's crazy. He kills her twice

because didn't that happen wasn't that like a guy Oh the prison reformed guy He killed some guy and chopped him up and put him in his fridge That was seconds It was like two seconds after he got off the Jorogic experience

He was still taking his headphones off. The other guy, the advocate that brought him in, he was like, oh, thanks for a good podcast, taking his fucking headphones off and immediately just shanks the dude right to the left. He takes them out and lodging them into the road. You get to see,

because you know when it starts fading out, you know, like starts fading out into the logo, you just see a little bit of the blood squirt. He's a little bit, a little bit of the spattered on the wall. Joe's not even reacting because he only exists on the podcast

So like when they stop recording He goes really silent and stares He goes dormant He goes dormant He reaches he's in a dormant state And then he only turns on for the next time I guess this is in front of him Yeah, that's crazy

He's Exactly like that Well look There's some stuff to talk about today I guess we should start off With the fact that everybody's dying Everybody's dying. Dead.

Dolly Parton died last, was it last night? Or yesterday? Yesterday. The day that we're recording this. And then this morning, Tim Curry. The fucking goat, man. Yeah, the goat. One of the greatest fucking three-point shooters of all time.

I don't think that. I think you might be thinking of the wrong person. You didn't. Tim Curry, the Golden State Warriors. You're not aware of the lingo, I assume. Golden State Warriors, Tim Curry, with the, with the Splash Brothers, Clay Aiken and Clay Akin and Jay Curry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like, is Clay Akin even still, is he alive? Yeah. The last time I've seen him, he was in a Scrubs episode. So that was many, many years ago. That's crazy. I think they killed him and threw him in a dumpster out after that episode. So what I do. You should play, Clayface.

It's Clay Aiken is gay, I'm pretty sure, right? Oh, he was a massive homo, yeah. That was one of his sticks, I think. A, easy. Well, I just, it's, it's just fact. I don't, I don't see anything wrong with that. He's a massive homo. That is not the way you should say that, but I understand.

Well, it's like saying big Jew. Like, you're just saying that's a big, big Jewish person. He's a gargantuan Jew. Yeah, like, it's like so massive homo. He's just a big. He's a big gay. He's a big gay. So, yeah, so let's see what Claykins is up.

Yeah, see what? Clay Aiken's up to you. While we talk about when we talk about Delly Parton, Daly Parton being dead and Tim Curry being dead. They killed my girl, Darlene Parton, bro. I'm so sad. Wow, he looks sad. Dude, he looks rough for 47.

Oh, man. He looks rough on the show. No, no, no, no. Sorry. What is happening right now? I looked up Clay Aiken. There's a picture of Clay Aiken ran out 47 years old, and then he looks fucking rough. Well, I mean, I mean, he looks like a

nothing but Clay does to you. He looks like an... Yeah, yeah. I forgot he's actually made out of clay. That's right. He's named after what he eats. Yeah. Anyway, so there you go.

Clay Egan's alive. He looks like shit. So, yeah, Dolly Parton, the goat. Dolly Parton was the fucking goat. Oh, yeah. She's actually a great woman. It's cool to see a bunch of young-ass motherfuckers being able to see that because, you know, they didn't know what the fuck Dolly Parton was.

Maybe they've heard some of her music. But I saw an explosion of just reels. I liked and shit. shared a bunch of them of people kind of like showing you like what she did and what is capable of the philanthropy that is capable of when people have like massive amounts of money that they can just like give back um like quite a bit and i'm sure you know billionaires i hate that shit yeah they're all mad they're like she was able to do that while also still remaining rich that is the thing which is the Just the whole thing. Still immensely rich. It still has more money than what you know to do it.

Yeah, she could have been a billionaire probably if she wanted. 100%. But yeah, no, it's, yeah, that was sad. And then Tim Curry is kind of like a one, two punch. He's like, oh, man, that's crazy. Yeah. Can Tim Curry, unfortunately, Tim Curry, I say unfortunately because Dolly Parton is obviously infinitely more important.

But Tim Curry meant more to me. I would agree. Yeah, I mean, we're not women. Yeah. I feel like Dali Parton is probably far more important to women, you know. I think I think I think Dali Pardt is technically more important, but Tim Curry is more iconic to us. My grandmother was a huge Dali Pardin fan because she's also from a different period of time. Right.

Like Dali Parton's music doesn't resonate with us because we're way young compared to the music she was making. Like people like, like, I'm sure your parents probably would care about Dali Pardt and dying, Chris. or your mom does too, Derek, you know? Yeah. Because of the fact that, like, they're just much, much older people. Yeah, that. And, Chris, I think there's something, too, what you're saying about, like, women thing because, like, what an icon to having a woman be that fucking powerful and, and have that much, like, clout and respect when, you know, historically, women didn't have that stuff.

We were just talking about the other day, like, oh, I think women could, it was, it wasn't that long ago. It was just, like, 50 years ago women couldn't own a bank account or something. That's up for the days, man. I'm just like, those were the days. Those were the days. Listen, no, it's, it's crazy. What I find especially wild because I'm pretty sure. So listen, I don't want to get, I don't want to get nobody's hopes up, okay?

But, you know, Tim Curry died this, or maybe not died this morning, but we found out that he was dead this morning. I think recently Also in the last year Catherine O'Hara Passed away That one really fucked me up too But so listen But so listen

Catherine O'Hara passed away I think The Pigeon lady From Home Alone 2 Also passed away Kind of recently Oh shit I do remember that

These are three These are three Home Alone two actors In like a year I think there's a chance Let me sweeten the pot I think there's a chance Let me sweeten the pot

Dolly Parton, 80 years old. Tim Curry, 80 years old. How old is, how old is a... So, there's a silver lining maybe. Like, hopefully, like I like to imagine the spirit of Tim Curry trying to drag Trump down into... Yes. I'm going to kill you. I like it.

I like him in a video of this. Have you seen his performance in commanding? conquer. Oh, yeah, it's like I'm going to go to the one place that isn't corrupted by capitalism. Spies. Spice. Fucking crazy. Tim Curry's the best, man. He's like, the way that people feel about, the way that people feel in a complimentary sense about Nick Cage, I feel about Tim Curry.

Do you know what I mean? Like, these out-of-pocket performances are so crazy. I feel the same way about Nick Cage, though, to be honest. But, like, I feel like it resonates with me with Tim Carrey the most because he's got such a weird look about him. He's got a weird voice. He's got a weird voice. Like, Nick Cage just is a normal person. Like, he's got a weird way of speaking.

But his voice is like, that's a normal. Tim Curry sounds insane. You keep saying Nick Cage. Nick Cage. Nicholas Cage. Sorry. My brain had a fuck. Okay.

Okay, I'm completely locked in now. What do you think I was saying? No, no, no. You kept saying it. My brain was trying to tell me, this is crazy. This is insane. I need to get checked out. My brain was trying to tell me that you were talking about Samuel Jackson, but you kept saying Nick Fury.

Like my brain was like, Nick, like, Nick, you said you kept saying the cage. And then my brain interpreted as Nick Fury. And I was like, oh, my God. It's scary. That is... You fucked me up because you were starting to convince me that Nick Cage was not his name, and I've been wrong this entire time. I didn't...

I don't know, man. That's scary. I'm like in real time going like, oh, no, I'm going insane. It's all the poison food we've been eating. That's true. I mean, I'm literally eating poison right now, so, you know, fair. Yeah. All right.

Well, it's all that hardcore porn I'd be watching. It's fucking up my brain. It's weird because I feel good. I feel great, actually. I feel... I've been playing basketball. works every day i know is that it like it's giving me more endorphins because i'm on death's door you're recharge because you're dying that's what it is anyway uh yeah so you're nick cage

point it yeah no i totally get what you're saying yeah so dolly parton uh tim curry rest and peace icons all that jazz I'm sure somebody else is going to die by the time we're done fucking recording this

yeah hopefully me a lot of old motherfuckers man it's crazy I love them Rocky Mahr horror show oh my god Rocky Horn show

a Rocky Horn show a Rocky Horror picture oh my God Clue Jesus Christ Legends scary home alone too was good scary movie too

was great awesome oh my God A lot of those little... He was in Annie. I remember that true. Muppet Treasure Island. Dude, I like that movie.

People did not. I love Muppet Treasure Island. It's not bad. I was also little. And I think that pays a huge part into it. It's not bad. I remember enjoying the Muffin movies are all pretty solid. I don't know.

I don't think they're like... Yeah, I don't know. The first two are very good. I really like those movies. And the Muppet movie is fucking excellent. I think it's a fucking great movie. There is that episode where there is that that movie where

Kermit sells Miss Piggy into sex slavery that I don't think aged particularly well. I mean, did you agree to it or is it like no, it's sex slavery. It was something like the Muppets in the in the Golden Triangle where it was like the you know the the the the the the puppy

poppy seat poppy fields and and and white slavery as they call it like sex sex trafficking. Right right right yeah. It's a good it's a good one though it's it's not you know I didn't have access to it because it was like rated R at the time. But yeah, it's good though. I think it's one of those things like fine wine. Yeah, it's one of those fine wine things. Yeah. Tim Curry was in that movie too. He was the slaver. He was. Come here, Miss Piggy.

Oh, no. I don't want to do it again. Come on, Big. Take one for the team. Come on, Pig, we need rent money. It's a rough economy out there and there's just not a lot of demand for a green guy like me. How much for this? Waka, waka. How much does that pussy? And you just watch, you watch Tim Curry break Miss Piggy down. Oh, it's like, man. Buckbreaking, like kind of like it. It feels like it. It's so hateful.

It feels like it. It cuts to, uh, it cuts to Tim Curry in bed. He's like, that was marvelous. And then it, and then the camera pans over and it's just bacon. Sizzling. sizzling, a pile, like a misspicky size pile of bacon. It's a lot.

Marvelous. Marvelous. It's like, what the fuck did he doder? He's still my goat, though, but what do you do to her? All right, so rest and peace, those icons. What else happened? You guys were saying something before. Oh, yeah.

In Minnesota. In Minnesota, man. What happened to Minnesota? Jake Lange's this piece of shit, Nazi fucking, he's everything you can imagine. Everything that everyone hates about society, he is. There's even exposés of him talking to underage girls, blah, blah, blah. Like, everything you can imagine. This guy has some sort of accusations levied against him, some allegations or whatever. But you've seen him before. He's, he's such a fucking loser. He always comes out in this, like,

this tactical vest and shit that has nothing, there's nothing in it. There's no wait. It's just there for show, right? does these Nazi protests, has all these racist ass signs, and then people get, they get into scuffles. So he did another one of these, one of these like march things, and then the counter protesters, it got like kind of crazy, a little bit violent. And out of nowhere, Spider-Man, Minnesota's own Spider-Man showed up. And perfectly, there's like a lot of clips circulating around,

but there's one in particular, where he jumps in the front. like because Jake is in like in the bed of a truck or whatever and then he he like jumps into frame grabs this thing that's kind of shielding Jake you know it looks like some type of like staying that was holding up a sign or something and just take some punches it punches him he fucking starts like wailing like he's Captain America or something he starts whaling on this piece of shit it was man amazing and they unmatched the dude he's just some he's just some fucking black dude he's just something like he's these Miles Morales essentially just wearing fucking and he kind of framed Peter Parker.

That's crazy. That's crazy Miles Morales Kovits'niz, crimes, and he dresses like Peter Parker's Spider-Man. I mean, that's happened to Spider-Man more than once. Yeah, that was the plot of the game. Camelian. That is true.

That is true. That has happened many times, yeah. That was the plot of the first PS-1 game. Was that, like, no, was it chameleon? It was Mysterio, who was masquerading his Spider-Man. He was running around doing, like, stealing shit, turning everybody against him. That's why the plot.

police had helicopters shooting missiles at him in the middle of New York City. Insane. Insane. Dude, it's crazy how much pride. Like, I take so much New Yorker pride in Spider-Man, it's hilarious.

Like, it's ridiculous. How much. Like, every time I see Spider-Man do something, and I'm reading a comic book, and this is a fake New York. And I live in California now.

And he does say, and I'm like, ah, yeah, bro. not like the big apple baby Spider-Man as a fake New Yorker Baby Spider-Man as a fake New Yorker is more important than many many real

New Yorker I don't know man I would even say I would even say he's fake anymore stuff like that because he's not a real human being he's not a real person but his impact is so objective Who would you say in real life

Who's the most famous New Yorker of all time Like just like maybe it's hard That's probably Donald Trump now Probably Donald Trump now I would say infamous Let's go with more like Like iconic Sinatra

Sinatra's a good one Snatra JZ Okay now No I wouldn't put Jay Z in there That's he's very famous Chris He's very famous He's not Sinatra famous I think he might be more actually

I don't think so He's not more iconic The iconic argument is one thing I think he's actually more famous Than Sanatra I think he might actually be man You might I don't know

I think I think he might be. You know why I say this? Because I feel like honestly, genuinely, there's probably today anyway. I would probably, I would guess that there are more people today who know who Frank Sinatra is versus Jay-Z as far as like young kids. I really do. Because Jay-Z, what's Jay-Z doing? What's he been doing?

Investing. Maybe, so maybe very. You know what I mean? I'd argue once upon a time it was definitely he was more, but maybe now, I even, No, maybe no. I think a lot of kids don't know who to fuck Frank Sinatra is actually. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's debatable. It is debatable.

That's a conversation. That's a conversation for sure. There, neither those guys are more iconic than Spider-Man is what I'm right. Yeah, so like that's got to like, he is the most famous New Yorker. He is. Yeah. Like, objectively. His movie just made $2 billion, which is, he's a fucking go, bro.

He's the, he's the, there's a reason why he's the goat, man. Look, I love Miles Morales. Representation. literal perfect me representation he's no peter parker so i got to say he'll never be peter what is this andy warhol what do you do is crazy as far as being the most iconic new yorkers very he's very famous in the art in in the art community he's very famous he's very very very bad it listen like i think indy war hall is like objectively i think his pieces are famous i don't think most people know who any war hall is at all but i would say oh i've seen that before oh i've seen his can

Campbell bullshit before. I think I think there's shit like his fame. They probably can't point them out in the crowd. I probably can't honestly. He looks for, I don't know. He looks. He looks he looks like what he is. He looks silly. He looks silly. He looks like you, he looks like exactly what you would expect to. Yeah. But he's a very famous person. He's like he. Do you know people think there's a conspiracy theory that Marilyn Monroe never died and that it's a Maryland Monroe is actually Andy Warhol. Derek, I'm gonna do I'm gonna have to

ignore that. It's not so insane. I can't deal with it. I'm going to I'm going to. He's kind of see. I know he only spent two seconds on the pitch, but he's selling me on it pretty hard. It's not bad. I'm a second. Yeah, exactly. He looks like Willem Defoe. Actually, kind of crazy. But

let me. Or they will him default play him, and that's why I'm tripping out. They wouldn't before play him or something like that? I don't know. Look at it's the, it's the fifth search down. It might have even been the, it probably would have been the closer than now it's anywhere where all Dolly Parton is up here now. But it's now, it's now, Andy Warhol, Marilyn Monroe is the fifth search town.

Let me see if anybody's talking about this at all. He doesn't look like Wilm Defoe in the slide. Oh, interesting. No one's even talking about it. There's a picture of him right here looks like Willem Defoe. I guess if Wilm DeFoe look like Andy Warhol, I would agree. I mean, hey, man, he got there. Yeah.

But, Andy Warhol, he's like, his art is like really iconic. I guess. I heard apparently that he stole a lot of it. That wouldn't surprise me, but. but what's going on what are you experiencing i i saw google's fucking trash man i typed in anywhere hall manly mary merman mirling rink conspiracy and it gave me nothing and then like you know i had to go to instagram and then immediately there's like a conspiracy fridays is andy warhol actually marynger you know like it immediately gave me what i was looking for it's crazy how bad google is

now man it's it's it's the reason why people use uh uh chat GPT more than they should too literally because it is just so like you've created a situation where like Google just doesn't function the way it should and so people are just defaulting to this other thing that sucks way worse but at least kind of does the thing that you want even though it's inaccurate like

50% of the fucking time it's if you're looking for if you're looking for um it I think it's useful as like say like a calculator shit like that chat GPT when you're trying to just quantify things and whatnot

Yeah, I think there's use for AI. When you're looking for specific information, a lot of times, it's essentially like Google a lot of times where, oh, I'm trying to find out about a case. Oh, like, if you're like, I remember a long time ago, I was trying to find out about the NBA schedule or something of the playoffs. And then it told me a game and it gave me scores. And I'm like, this hasn't happened yet. I was like, what the fuck is it? Dude, I was, I was. Told you about the future, bro.

A couple weeks ago. I was playing through the Spider-Man 2, the original like 2004 game. I think I mentioned it on the show. And I was doing some of the pizza missions where you have to do like, you have to deliver the pizzas in like a certain amount of time. Yeah. And I did like five of them. And then they kept offering me more. And I was like, I was trying to complete the game 100%.

I was just trying to do everything. And I got to like mission like 15. And I was like, how many fucking pizza missions are in this game? I didn't remember that there being this many pizza missions. And so, like, I googled how many pizza missions are in Spider-Man 2? Nothing. I found no useful information. I even specified, like, Spider-Man 2, 2004 for the, you know, PS2 and Xbox, nothing.

And I was like, fine. And then I used chat GPT. I hope I still have it. I don't use chat GPT ever. And it told you, fuck you. I was like, I was like literally like fine. You should become a racist. If Google isn't working, I guess, I guess I'll just use chat dpti fine.

Right. And so like I googled, I asked you to see how many pizza delivery missions are there in Spider-Man 2? And then it said in Marvel Spider-Man 2, which is already the PS5 game, so it's already wrong. Great. And I was like, no, the original 2004 video game. Ah, got you. Spider-Man 2, 2004, the movie tie-in game. I'm on mission 15.

There are five pizza delivery missions in total. Yes. I said, I'm on mission 15. It said, oh, if you mean mission 15 and Spider-Man 2, you're still fairly early in the game. Boom. So I said, no imbecile. I said this, I said no imbecile. The 15th pizza mission.

and he said yes the 15th pizza mission my bad in spider man 2 2004 there are 20 pizza delivery missions in total and I'm like so and by the way I don't even know if that's accurate after that you can't be after that because I'm like what the fuck was this experience I've avoided using it and I just completely useless I've been able to navigate Google enough to figure out the answers I need most of the time when I need answer oh man it's I don't know what the hell happened to Google but I because I used to be able to at least a lot of times on page two,

a lot of times would have what I'm looking for. This shit does not work the way that... The fact that I put in Maryland Monroe, Andy Warhol conspiracy, where there is a... There's a conspiracy about it. It's dumb. It's as dumb as Alex Jones is Bill Hooks.

Bill Hicks, sorry. It's as dumb as that. And the fact that it showed me nothing on the first page other than... Like, I put in the word, conspiracy, it's a keyword. It's to the point where a lot of times you have to put things in quotations,

so it forces to search the things that are inside those fucking quotations because a lot of times it'll just leave shit out and it'd be like, oh, did you mean this? I'm like, no, I meant exactly what I fucking put in, you faggot? Like, what are you doing? Like, it just... It's crazy that I'm like, why is this?

It used to work normally. And again, so yeah, yeah, I've used chat a handful of times to try, of course, if you're trying to find like what you tried to do, Chris, I try to do that for Mega Man Legends because I had a bug with my emulator. And so I try to ask about like this one boss. I was like, wait, this boss is like impervious

to my attacks. I don't remember that. Of course, Google wouldn't show me anything. Someone to chat. And like, oh yeah. So basically you need to do this. And I'm like, so that's not true. You're just making shit up. I'm going to ask you something. This might sound conspirator. Do you think that there is a concerted effort to make search engines worse so that people default to AI? Wouldn't surprise me. So at, at first, at first, At first, at first I would say no because I know at least the conspiracy was before and there was some validity to making them terrible so that she'll use it more, which will get your eyes on more ads and more sponsored links. So it was to have you surf a lot more than just finding your answer outright. Now it's so much worse.

Maybe there's something to that. Because like I do on my, this doesn't happen on the browser on my desktop, but on, uh, on my, what do you call it? When I'm using Google on my phone, once I search something, it's sometimes the next thing, it'll just immediately pop up like, it'll suggest using its own AI thing.

It'll like bring it up and I'll have to like click back to like, no, I don't want to do this. Just give me the thing I'm looking for. And then, you know, they have those AI summaries now and stuff. And those things are fucking god awful. Like they're complete,

they're wrong dude I was eight out of ten it's wrong it's wrong you know what's hysterical dude like there's an Instagram one I think I posted it on my story a couple weeks ago I wonder if I still have it

um it was like some because you know how like under a lot of social media it'll have like that like a little magnifying glass thing yeah uh it'll be like a little link with a magnifying glass I guess to automate like a search or whatever and it's like usually tied into some AI like summerization kind of thing. So like I posted a video on

TikTok about like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll post a video like when I feel like it or whatever. And underneath it, it said like something, it was like magnifying glass Chris Reagan hiatus or whatever. It's like, oh, I wonder what this is going to say. And this is what it's, this is what it says. I have the, I have the screenshot from like meta AI. Listen to this. Chris Reagan recently addressed his absence from YouTube in a video titled Summer Sun and why I've been away for a while. No. Deal. Just straight up. Absolutely not true.

That's awesome. He explained the break and shared updates on upcoming projects did not, including a planned shoot in Lofoten. I don't even know what Lofoten is. You know what that is? No, I'm going to ask you. Is that a place or is that like a studio? How do you spell that? L-O-F-O-T-E-N.

L-O-F-O-F-O-E-L-F-O-T-N islands, Norway. Wait, hold on, hold on. You're going to Norway, Chris? According to AI, I got to go to including a planned shoot in Lofoten next February. So next February, I have this, I have it planned. So it's a shoot in Lofoten next February with the T-U crew.

I don't even know what the T, I don't even know what the fuck that is. So. This looks awesome, though. I'm not going to lie. All of this. It looks sick. Literally the entire, every detail of it was completely. completely wrong and catacly

cataclysmically incorrect. Yeah, it's awesome. Insane shit. Like, this is why people are going insane. I don't know, man. Let's go. It looks cool. We'll do it when we can see the Northern Lights because there's some sick shots. Let's go. Dude, I don't know, man.

Like, AI, like Google and all that shit for me, that works fine, but I don't ask it crazy shit. Anything that I know was important enough to ask it. I just look into it myself before asking Google. Like, but that's how you look into it is you Google. But it's like how I explain it's like, hey, I look up like what it is. Wait, what are you pretensions?

You go to the fucking library to look. No, not anymore. Sadly. Encyclopedias. I have my own computer in my house. I don't go to the library anymore. I don't even notice how bad Google is because I just, I go to the library to look for my own. Do you remember?

Do you remember? Like my mom had an encyclopedia in our house. And that was, I remember, I'm young. I'm old enough to where I had to do research like that sometimes. It was fucking stupid. You had to find it because it was like A through Z. You had to find the thing you were looking for. And then you had the whole police like and you trusted the book, right?

There's nothing because you had no other source. Like, Ask Jeeves was a thing at that time. And that was not those more like very directed questions. It wasn't like Google wasn't popping out yet. You asked you something. He'd be like, I don't know. I don't know.

Some of the fuck up. I don't fucking know. Like, what do you mean? You out of my face, bro. Yeah. I'll sue you, right? Fucking the little icon of Jeeves, the butler just pulls his dick out. Put his dick over his wrist like a clown watch.

What time is it? Such an easy shortcut in comedy to just like take this character and make him pull his dick out. It's immediately funny. Because it's insane. Jeeves being asked the question about like some serious like, hey Jeeves, when did Hitler die? he's like oh 1945 and also you want to see something

you don't see that dude I can't believe I can't believe people used to actually take their dicks out and put over their wrist and that's what time it was like that is genuinely diabolical and that's what what and that's what time it was

they were like you check their time what time was to see on my watch and is this their dick over their wrist and I'm like this is this is absurd Were you in like the draw? Did they draw like a little clock on it? No, there's no watch.

Were you in like that was funny? There's no watch. Were you? You went to college for a little while, right, Kinsen? Of course. Yeah. Were you in a fraternity or something and you saw this in your fraternity? No, I never saw this.

I've heard stories about it a lot and I've seen video movie like movies. Look, where it's referenced. You're, I know it. I've heard. This is all secondhand. I've heard secondhand. I've heard secondhand horror stories. of like frat like behavior.

Somebody that I know spin a like, oh, they all went to this cabin and shit. And like they're all horse playing around. And this one guy was chilling, I guess, you know, when you sit down on the floor

and then your backs against the, the couch, like the instead of being in the seat of the couch, you're just right up front of it. Like some guy, like I guess his hands were just kind of like out like this, kind of stretched out. And some guy put his dick in his hand.

And I'm like, that's, that's, I was like, That's white, that's white man playing around. That's white Americans. White Americans do a lot of gay shit just because it's like, I were just hanging with the guys.

And it's really confusing. And it's only been brought to the light recently. But I noticed that even when I was younger. I was like, what is this? That's frat culture, man. It's frat. It's military. It's all of that type of shit where they're like bonding.

But like, dude, I would say like half of them, half of them are gay. And then the other half. or they just, they're unaware of how gay this actually is, like, they're unaware of how, how, like, yo, this is crazy. These people are trying to take advantage of you. I was at a party. I was too homophobic to be in a fraternity. I just couldn't do it. You're just too homophobic.

I was like, this is all gay. You're all gay. And I hate this. I mean, I hate that you're gay. It's too cultish for me. It's still cultish for me. I just don't want to be. You don't want to be touched.

That's your biggest problem, Kingston. That would be like, there's no way you'd last in any of that shit. I would dapp a homie up. But if someone like, if a dude ever comes behind me and like grabs my waist, I don't, I'll turn it to my dad. How would you feel, how would you feel,

how do you feel, how do you feel, if you joined a fraternity and, uh, somebody like the person at the, at the front door dapped you up. Like pulled you in for a hug and then re-shroned and shoved his entire, uh,

hand, entire arm, elbow first up your ass. Well, like a puppet. Like I'm, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm, I'd be like, well, I'm just, I'd feel pretty not. I'd feel not good. Would you continue to come back to the fraternity? Yes.

You know some Kingston, yes. I don't think I would. I think I would tell someone about it. Actually, I probably would. I'd be too nervous to somebody about it. Don't tell people about it. Don't ruin their fun. Come on.

Yeah. Yeah, sorry. My bad. Ooh. If you see something, stay quiet. If you see something, say something. That's what's up, right? To know what.

That's the vibe. You see something, tell no one, keep it to yourself. I didn't raise no tattle tail. That's right. That's fucking right. If you see something, shut the fuck up. You know the code of Omerta and the mob? You don't fucking, you don't say, you don't snitch.

You don't snitch, man. You don't fucking snitch, bro. Snitches get stitches. You saw a video recently of some dude talking about how, like, the Scooby-Doo crew were just, like, masterclass snitches. Like, they were just going around and ratting on people for no reason. was paying them or nothing. Like, it's kind of crazy. I mean, the goat of snitching, the gold of snitching for me and my thing is, what's his name?

It's, uh, Hulk Hogan. Hogan was the snitching goat. Like, yeah, huge, huge snitch. He just had, I mean, he at least had, you kind of got to give it to the mystery crew because they didn't gain anything from it. Yeah, like they didn't, they didn't make any money. they were just driving around in a van like haphazardly snitching on people like that was their whole fucking thing yeah but the people were torturing other people like they were yes they were the red herring like it was really really guys here crime it was kind of like small business owners wanting to like cut corners like oh man like i can't build here like i would have to be a billionaire to build here so what i'm have to do is i'm to scare all these people off this property they're gonna abandon it and now i can like like like great like granted a cosmic in a

cosmic scale. A billionaire would just buy them out. You know, so the small business owner has to scare them away. I do like the idea that like a lot of the people, because like it's always like some some angry farmer. Like a lot of the people they capture are like blue collar workers. Like they are. A lot of them are blue collar workers.

But the thing to me is that they have these alter eke. Like imagine. Imagine Spider-Man was Spider-Man, but only in his like for his apartment. I like it. You know what I mean? Like what, like that is so crazy that you have this entire costume,

you have this entire like skill set. You have this entire set of abilities, this alter ego that you employ only in this specific property. Like that is crazy. You know what I want to do? I want to watch the very first like the pilot episode if there is one of Scooby-Doo. Oh, like before air. I want to know like the sold.

Like I want to see what the hell that's about. What did is the. concept of the same what if they actually definitely racist it's definitely maybe scooby do actually was just a black person in the original in the original he was like wow that's jabs shaggy not even far fetched

at all because I have cousins named scooby you know like I have like I have people scooby is see the idea that historically people are like their names are switched like scooby there are scoobes there are people named scooby

and then shaggy is usually like a dog like a shaggy dog or something. So a lot of people historically would say that what the fuck like the names are switched around. I've never in my life ever. I think Scooby is short for like a like a nickname for Rupert or something like that. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. It's a it's a it's a their nickname.

It's like how Dick and Richard. Yeah. There are two people that I know specifically. I know some scobs. Are they are they Rupert? Like is that their real name? You know what's funny? I don't know.

I don't know. Like no one is named. Scooby. It's a short enough as a nickname that people get for having a certain name. Their name is it Scooby. Let me go on their birth to forget their name is it Scooby Richard. I'm Cooper. It's not it's it's it is Scoober. You know, listen, sure. Maybe I can find on Facebook real quick. If he's on, if he's on my cousin, if he's, I'm going to look for him. The pilot episode of Scooby-Doo was the gang. The gang is pretty unchanged. Scooby's a black person. and Shaggy

and Shaggy is profoundly Asian and they go around and they I think I think the first episode is them stabbing a pizza guy to death Oh because he was ripping people off on deliveries or something I'm not sure it's been a while since I've seen it

Yeah it's a nickname yeah because people are saying People are saying that Scooby's not a real name I'm not I'm not saying it is I've been saying that like yeah I'm sure it is a nickname. And then you asked me, did I know his real name? I'm like,

I don't know. I'm just stuck because my brain is trying to rationalize. You know, they were niggis being named. Scooby. Ever? Damn, Shaggy. Shaggy, I don't know what the hell going on here,

but we should probably be. I don't know what the hell's going on here, but we got to get the hell out. I don't think so, Scoob. Scoob. Did you? Scooby, I think we should keep going.

I want a sandwich, Scooby. Don't you like sandwiches? It's not even like normal Asian. He's like a Japanese fucking samurai. He's a fucking... Don't like it from a completely different era. Don't see. We must find the ghost

Shaggy. Oh, geez, you're right. Hattori Hansel. That's crazy. Speaking of that, speaking of that, it comes out next week. What, Scooby? Onimusha.

Oh, yeah. It's a Miyamoto Musashi. Yes, it comes out. That's right. Yeah, yeah. It looks fun. It comes out. Oh, yeah, it does come on September.

Jesus Christ. It comes out next week. It looks fun. It's early September? Fuck. Doing a lot of, like three crazy games are coming out of this week, which is pretty nuts. Damn, I'm not ready. I'm not ready for it.

That vampire game comes out. I think, uh, Star Wars, um, tack, uh, tackle game comes out, uh, tonight. Oh, right. And then, um, um, um, then there's a bunch of shit I'm only gonna get one of them though no it starts next month that's when the

the steady down The solid four is finally out too So like that's out already I think so I think it should be like definitely by the time People hear this it'll be out I think it comes out today or something Like what's today? Today's Wednesday

The Wednesday the 26th Yeah so it's either out tonight at like 9pm Because it comes out tomorrow or it's already out But like It starts man It's about to start the decline of women losing their boyfriends. Hell yeah. Losing their boyfriends to gaming.

That's what it's all about. This is the last hurrah, man. I really, my opinion, I think the game, I think the video gaming world is going to be really fucked. I don't think it's going to be concerts by 2032. I think they're gone. Maybe the games are still going to be around. I think video games will be gone, but I think the bubble's going to pop and they're going to have to change a lot within the next like six years or else it's not. Then it will be cooked, I think.

I think what's going to have it is just like everything's just going to go overseas. Like all of it? Damn near all of it. Like, because there's no, it's too expensive to make. Well, I,

well, I think the American industry, the American stuff that's going to say is probably like indie stuff. Um, like independent, like individual people like making games, but like AAA, it's like that's going overseas,

dude. Like they're going to go to China. They're going to go to India. They're going to go to these emerging markets. They're going to re-invest in Japan. I mean, dude, CD Project isn't fucking polo. They've always been there, yeah, but yeah, I get it.

Right, right. But what I'm saying is like, they're paying people dirt to sell to Americans, you know? Yeah. Because, like, it's just not expensive to run a studio over there. That's why they can be like, yeah, we're going to work on a fucking Witcher 3 update for free and then just like put it out for everybody. And then like, here's, we're going to make the expansions free and just like, all right, we're going to make another expansion. What is going on with them? Unheard of.

They have money. They have money. They're making American money. and they have to pay Polish wages. Are their wages that much worse over there? I want you. Yes. For games industry?

For the video game industry? Absolutely. For a lot of industries, like if you look at the, a lot of, especially like, you've been there right there? Poland,

I've not been to Poland, but like it borders with Lithuania. They have a long, long history of beef and shit. When I look at a lot of the wages and like say some of the average wages that they earn, it's like the cost of living is cheaper on average.

So that also makes their wages much cheaper. Like we earn a lot more than the average ones. So basically those people over there are not making the type of wages that say somebody in Seattle, let's just say somebody that's fucking working for Rockstar, you know, would be making. And even though Rockstar has a ton of money, but still, they pay. and and they're still probably people at Rockstar

still probably getting underpaid but I'm just saying relative to the people over and see the project red I think that thing comes out today too actually what what thing the fucking GTA 6 thing

that's on Netflix for some reason oh fuck it the 26 that's right or it was the 26 huh no it comes up today I think no it's tomorrow I think it's today

I think it's today I think it's it's I feel like it was a Thursday it's probably a tomorrow I feel like these things are always on Thursday is because I remember specifically like this type of thing always happens where like something goes live on the day that we record sacred and we have to decide whether or not we're going to fucking

like stop the show in the middle of it. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. So it's tomorrow. The fact that they're doing that is ridiculous, like horrible. But you know, it's whatever. Like it's horrible. It's really.

It's really crazy. I wouldn't call it horrible. That's kind of crazy. Because why? Like what, like for what purpose? It just just money. Like what do you mean? Yeah.

But it's like they'll make money no matter what they're posted on a regular I'm sure Netflix approach them and not the other way around. I wouldn't be surprised. Like if you're Netflix, you're like, fuck, this is a way to just get more people to at least do a free trial and then forget to to cancel it. You know? Like shit like that because also it's just what six hours later? It's going to be on fucking YouTube or something.

Yeah. I mean, it's it's to me, it's, to me, it's such, to me it's weird because six hours of exclusivity is so nothing that like, why would you even pay for that? Like, why would Netflix even be like, you know what? I'm going to pay you for this. You know what? We'll take it. Well, I mean, if you're Rockstar, it's like, yeah, fuck it, we need to make money. I mean, we just spent a billion dollars on this game. We kind of got to make as much money as possible. I mean, they're going to, man, they're going to, they're going to make that money back immediately. They probably

already made it, but like, I would assume that they've actually already made it. That's what makes me mad about the game being, look, I heard, somebody made an argument about like, okay, the, this is probably going to be the only game that would be actually worth a hundred bucks, but, like, to me, the counter argument is,

them niggas are going to make so much money from this shit. It does not need to be any more than $70. Like, for the full fucking game. instead of them say like it's it's going to make so much money it says no you're just taking more you're just taking more that's all you're doing you know it's going to exceed expectations even the expectations that they set it's going to crush because it does every single fucking time every time they fucking release a game it crushes beyond their expectations

because i don't know it's like it's like a cultural event five man five is it is it is a cultural event, man. This is, uh, I said it before, but like, I just don't know what the next big video game cultural event is going to be. Like, I don't think there is going to be one relative to this. I can't even. This is nothing, nothing, nothing at the scale of, nothing at the scale. Nothing, nothing at this scale that is American centric. I'm sure there's probably going to be like some big fucking random Chinese game next year that we just like randomly hear about one day when it's like crimson desert. You know what I mean? Or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And something like that. Because that was kind of big. They tried to do that with black myth. Wu Kong. Yeah, it did not work exactly. Although it worked kind of in the beginning. People were like all over it. You know what I found out about, I feel like such an idiot.

Because I remember complaining about that game where this is so funny. And this is my fault and also a testament to where it didn't land like say some other games. Like say Eldon Ring did. I was complaining about, oh man, look at all those big gods in the beginning of the game. And like you didn't even fucking fight them. That was bullshit. you do if you do the proper things correctly. I didn't find that out till way later,

meaning that nobody approached me. I get DMs all the time about bullshit, right? About sometimes if I say something wrong or somebody's trying to inform me about something or like, hey, did you know about this? Not a soul with like, hey, bro, you can fight these things. I tripped up on it by watching like a GameRanks video. And I was like, huh, I'm fucking stupid.

no well I don't know that game I tried that game was entirely unimpressive to me like like genuinely in every every facet it was an oppressive game it was good I had a lot of fun with it yeah go ahead sorry it was yeah I thought it was fine I just like I just there was the issue that I kept running into was just like there were so many invisible walls in that game

where I was like why are they invisible walls here especially and it wouldn't even bother me so much if I wasn't also playing as a fucking monkey because to me I'm just like there's a level of like okay, I can like, I should, I should have like some relative freedom to at least like walk through this patch of grass as a

monkey man that you're not giving me for some reason, which is insane because in games that like don't even, like, in games where you're a heavy knight in armor and you're not even that agile and you have no reasonable expectation to reach certain places like, like Eldon Ring or whatever. You can do it. Yeah.

So I'm like, I don't know. You can even like clip your way into some shit. Yeah. And it was crazy. For me, I would rather just play us. I don't, it just, it just felt, it felt like it's so in between of so many things. I just didn't care about it. I was like, this is like sort of, sort of like a Souls game.

And then sort of like the way the new Final Fantasy game works and then sort of like this. And I was like, ah, it's just, it's nothing. The only thing is that the boss fight against your evil half, that fight was sick as fuck. Other than that, it was mad. There's a lot of, I like fighting that tiger, the boy, all that blood shit was. I thought that was really fucking cool, that ice dragon thing. I thought there was some cool fucking fights. I think it looked cinematic, but it was, it was, it didn't impress me.

It was all right. It was great. Look, there was a lot to, my biggest thing is, especially in those type of games, in any game where it's even remotely close to like a hack and slash where you're kind of, you're doing a lot of button mashing to do combos. This is what, what it is tied to it. I like variety of my weapons. I just having the fucking staff in different styles

was interesting, but not enough for me. Like one of the reasons why Soulsboard games are so fun is that like I can fight you with a fan. I can fight you with Wolverine claws, a fucking giant fucking cloud sword. You know, like there are so many different things you can do. And it's not even like, I don't even do it for strategy.

It's for fun. your penis out and you can play with the person. Dick over your wrist. You just fucking dig over your wrist combat. That's a good one. This moat is hosing them down with piss. And then you get a charge shot that's come. It's fucking great.

Yeah. I just, I don't know, even the Dark Souls were there isn't button mashing because it's very strategic because you're a stamina meter, your bar. It's, you don't suffer. You don't get punished as much in Wukong

compared to the other ones, but still a point being that even in a game like that where you're not just button mashing the amount of variety you have is so appealing that's so fucking appealing and so maybe the new black myth that they're working on

maybe they'll expand it a lot more I saw it's just some Chinese guy I don't know who it is a black myth Detroit I would I would play the fuck out of that who would start starring who who's the most Detroit person ever um um

Big Sean. Big shot. I was going to say, well, M&M, you know, so he grew up relatively. Oh, yeah, he's the most Detroit person ever, yeah. Let's play. Yeah. I like that.

Let's play him. It would have to be him or it would have to be like. And he summons D12. Ooh, see? You're honest. Yeah, we're cooking. You're honest. The bizarre is just like raping people.

Bizarre. Jesus Christ. That guy is, I don't know how that guy is not in prison. Like, I imagine. There is no way that. guy doesn't have, I guess because he's just low key. But the shit that he wraps about, I'm like, bro,

check everything on him. Check his, is old. Well, there's that video, there's that famous really grainy video of him eating his own son. Yeah, it was turned into a painting actually. Yeah, it was actually turned to a painting. It's called, uh, bizarre eats his son.

It's called, uh, but then, but then they sued, he sued, uh, the bizarre estate sued, um, the artist. and so they had to change the name. Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was. Gotcha.

How bizarre. How bizarre. How bizarre? I think my introduction to bizarre is the Amityville song and the Marshall Mathers L.P. I think that was my introduction to him. He's like, fuck my, what does he say? Like fuck my cousin and his asshole, slip my mother's throat. Guess who's some shady just signed the inner scope.

You know, like that's the first fucking. two bars. And I'm like, oh. Yeah, you don't fuck with fire bars. You don't fuck with fire bars now, I guess, you don't fuck with clever writing. Listen, when I was 13 years old, that show was hilarious.

It's not funny. It's heartwarming. That was me with Tyler when I was growing up, bro. That was me with Tyler created before. Yeah. Even though I also think Tyler has some fucking slappers on him. It was, he,

he's had some lyrics, bro. That I'm like. Tyler has big saggy titties. Yeah. That's hot. Is that what you meant by slappers? Is that what you meant? Let's get to the question.

What does Tyler say that one barry's doing a freestyle where Flex is there? Do you remember that? Wait, me and facts, check it in the index for Buff Net niggas just for some hot butts. Yes, that was so fucking sick. Dude, that's so funny because Flex's reaction. It's the most trying not to be homophobic thing ever. Like he's fighting against it. to get against his instinct to be home before, but he's like,

I'm an adult now. I know better. He puts his hands up and it says like, why? It's like, like, why are you doing? It's like that video of the fucking, the ant eater or whatever the hell? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That shit's, I love that shit, man.

Yeah, man, I would have maud that I need her. I would have completely devoured an animal, but yeah, I get it. That's crazy. Well, you've got to be so cruel. I would have killed it. We're going to read some of the, some of the questions from our patrons over at Patreon.com slash

a snark tank. Remember, you two can ride into the show if you want. Are you done? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm enjoying the bars. It was a good song. Watching the pod in public

to practice my poker face, Rodin. Long time listener, first time question asker. Thank you guys for getting me to play Mass Effect. My question is, what's a game you haven't played?

Even though you know you'd probably like it. Got so much. I actually don't know if I have most of the like a dragon, I would say. Oh, yeah. Sloppers, bro. Slappers. And they're so inexpensive right now, too. Like, you can get.

You can get. It has a sale every goddamn week, bro. Yeah. Let's see. Infinite wealth is probably like 10 bucks. Fucking the pirate one is. Oh, yeah. It's probably like 50 or 20 bucks right now.

And I know I'll love the show of those games. I just haven't gone around some. There's such ridiculous. There's so much shit in them. I think that's basically my only issue. They're very much so Japanese RPG, so there's a lot of game, a lot of dialogue.

But they are really fun experiences. I finished like a dragon. I finished the DLC for the pirate DLC. And I did half a zero. Okay. Good games. Very, very good games. Very funny.

very, very funny. Yeah, especially all the Yakuza ones. Like, I love beat them up type shit, so I just haven't, I haven't got around to all. It's, I don't know, I don't know why. I know I'm going to love them. It's right up my alley, just haven't played them. Yeah, I don't know.

I feel like I've gotten around to a lot of the games that I thought I might like. There are some, like, the one that comes to mind is probably like that alien isolation game. Ah. I know I would like that just because it's like, I like that sci-fi. I like aliens and I like stealth and I like hard games, but like I just, there's something about it where I'm just like, I have it and I just have not been in the mood to start it up ever.

Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. But there's some other things too, like Mortal Shell 2. I heard a lot of good things about that I think I would probably like it. That's another one I fucking, I booted up Mortal Shell years ago and then I just,

I never went back to it. World Shell 1 apparently is like kind of like whatever. It's like fine. No. Mortal Shell 2 is apparently very good. and I believe it, but I don't know. It looks good. There's so much to play.

There's so much, there's so much shit. And there's also so much shit that I have that I own already that I haven't touched. You know, so. Yeah, yeah. The idea of, like, getting another thing to add to the pile feels insane. I don't know. I've played most of, I don't know, man. Most of the games I think I'd like, I try.

This one. The sword is right there, man. Yeah, it's, I would say that's like the big one, though, that for me, that is because it's just such a huge thing. But, yeah, mostly everything else is just kind of like, oh, the, there's a handful of things. But it's more of like addendums and stuff that I'm just not getting around to, oh, have you played this expansion kind of thing? And I'm like, eh, I'll get to it later, like Shadow the Earth Tree, for example. Still haven't played it. Yeah.

there's a there's a game called lust sharehouse on steam that uh i think looks great isn't that one of those like free like uh porn ones uh i feel like uh let's i feel like i i say that because i have i saw something on my steam home page one time and i wish listed because i was like what the fuck is this i haven't downloaded yet let me see let me see it is literally just a porn game it's so funny how many how many porn games there are because I'm like, what are you who is playing, who is interacting with their porn?

Me. Hey, me. What do you mean, dude? Like, I don't think I've ever, I actually genuinely don't think in my life I've ever played a porn game. What did you call the game again? What did you, what did you say it was? Lust Sharehouse. I was just scrolling through top sellers. It's not the same. Okay, so this one is Lust Goddess. I added it in November of 2024.

I haven't, I haven't played it yet. but um i thought uh i saw this on the home page and i was like what the hell is this it's a free to play porn probably gotcha game that um jesus christ so it's got what the hell looks like marvel versus not more versus capcom um marvel ultimate alliance the one that hell wait there's a porn ultimate alliance game it says lust goddess this um oh you look at the less goddess one oh there's like 18 seconds into the trailer it looks kind of like um Oh, no, it looks like Strike Force, doesn't it?

I don't know what Strike Force is? The Marvel Strike Force. Oh, like the fucking turn-based thing? Yeah, it's like closer to that than the Ultimate Alliance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was about to download the fuck out of it, right? Poor and Ultimate Alliance. Yeah, I was like, that sounds cool as shit.

I would give that a try for sure. Yeah, this is like, looks like a term-based kind of like, and it has all, you know, your platform, uh, uh, strategic bullshit. The funny, I just seeing how many, how the fuck is there almost 4,000 reviews? Like, that's crazy, man. Like, people are playing this game. People are jerking off, man. 57 hours, spend some time on it.

Okayish game. Devs seem to be so desperate about getting someone to make a single purchase of the game. I'm like, bro, this. Why are you taking this seriously? What the hell is this? Two little sex. Dude, freshy. There's a game called Freshie Sisters, and the developer and publisher is Bimbo Sisters games.

That's bad ass. Friesy Sisters? I love it. Horsy Vila. It's so funny. I'm just going to start buying all of these games and like, loading them on and running them and then just leaving my computer. Just so, like, people check their steam and all day I'm on these games.

I love that. Everlusting Life is another one Oh, coming soon. Sex drive. Eskai. Issaqai. Issaquai. Sex drive.

Issaquai. Nice. Sex drive. That's a free one too. Yeah. This is so straight up porn. It's just porn. Why not just jerk off or just like Google this shit?

Like it's so. Because why not get both. I don't get why you're so mad at it, bro. I'm not mad at it. I just don't get it. I just don't get it. get it, so I'm going to buy it. Yeah, I feel like it's, I feel like this is too distracting.

Like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're trying to focus on actually progressing and playing the game. Like, like, I, I, I, I'm bricked up while I'm trying to concentrate, like on, on, like, I have definitely, I have definitely been watching, like, things that are supposed to be like, I've definitely, like, I've definitely, like, watched hentai that's supposed to be like, oh, this is a hentire, it's going to be porn and it turns it to such. I'm like, oh, this is actually a sort of interesting story. I'm not here for porn anymore.

Then I'm like, this show isn't. good enough for me to watch instead of a good show. I don't want to masturbate anymore. And I kind of just turn it off. That's crazy. It's just completely like the wires get crossed so hard that you're like like, yeah. This isn't well acted. I'm adding.

You're like, ah, man. Well. I'm adding all these to my wishless right now. That goes my one month hentai, I guess. I don't know. Now I'm back to starting to clock again. I'll see you later. You're going to get so many notifications, by the way, of just like,

The game you really want us on sale. You know it's free. Right, right. I want to share it. It's going to come in. It's going to be a fucking, a fucking anime girl with her Volvo on the screen. And you're going to have to explain that to your wife. I mean, you know, we're cool.

You can be like, yep. This is what I'm into now. You want to play with me? You want to play this kid's got co-op. You want to play with me? Come on. I got other controller right here. Oh, this one isn't.

Oh, okay. No, there's the porn. Okay. It wasn't showing up at first. Oh, no, no, no, never mind. It's right here. Gears X Warrior wrote and he says

Not really a question But I think it would be cool If you guys went back To doing fake ad reads Or some shit on the podcast It's obviously better If it happens naturally or spontaneously But I get a kick out of some of the goofy shit

That comes out of It comes out the RFK brain worms That are in y'all's heads Did we ever do that? Did we do fake ad reads? Apparently, I just don't remember that at all I remember I had the idea Like I remember I thought

Because I was gonna pitch Mick On like a handful of I was going to write a bunch of just like fake ads to kind of back when I was editing the podcast I was going to like slot them in Oh Speaking of yeah

That's cool Speaking of the fake ad reads The choice is voicer thing I think that'd be a good extra ammo Where we did a bunch of those The problem is that I know it's AI stealing our voices Like it's definitely AIA

Oh the Troiser voicer yeah They're definitely stealing our voices Well it's a small HIO game They're definitely selling that that shit. You definitely agree to something and they're selling that shit the fucking

volunteer. I did, I did, I bookmarked that. I never got around to it. Yeah, but yeah, it looked,

it looked fun. It's a funny. That'd be a good time for episode. It's, it's a cool, it's a cool little game. But, yeah,

there's a bunch of little things that I think would be fun to do. I gotta, Derek, I'm gonna revisit that idea. Derek, did you see that, uh,

you know who Rayquanda chef is, right? Sure. Oh, yeah. He was hanging out with fucking Palantir, right? He was hanging out. Yeah.

It's crazy. Oh, I think I saw Fantano talking about that. Yeah. I was like, no. Why? Why are they doing? Like, what is happening? This is not.

Wait, who murdered people? He's like one of the, he's probably like one of the members of the Wu-Tang clan. Arguably the second or third most talented one, too. It is crazy. Well, wait, didn't they like, didn't they already have like a thing that was kind of awkward years ago where they sold their only album to like, Martin Screlli or some shit.

Well, they, so it was, it was the fact that they sold it to him that pissed me off. But what I didn't mind what they were doing. They made a new album and they were going to auction off the only fucking copy of it. And it was just kind of like some, just some stupid art, artsy bullshit that I'm like, oh, it's interesting. And then, yeah, Martin Screlly bought it. And I'm like, what fucking fucking sell it to that kind? Like, it just pissed me off. But yeah, yeah.

Yeah, them hanging out with a, at the Palantir headquarters is, uh, It's an interesting choice. What sucks so much is that so many people, particularly from that era at time, are like black capitalists. So you just can't, like, they think that like money is what allows them into those spaces. And they don't understand that like, no, brother. Yeah.

No, these niggas are psychos. Yeah, they're really, this kind of money are like crazy. But they think like, oh, we got all the way of through freedom is money. And it's like, no, nigga, no, no. That's a good way to do. It's a good, it's, you know, it works. It's fake. It doesn't work.

Right. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Money is fake? Is there you're saying? Money's not fake, but freedom through money is not real. I don't agree, but yeah. You'd be wrong, but you can disagree.

It's not real. It doesn't, it doesn't. What is it? What are you saying? Because what happens is that? Who is more free than the richest people? Like, what are you saying? That's still true, but freedom for a black person through money is not real,

because you're still unfortunately under the systems that are not allowing you to be free. You can be as rich as you want, then get pulled over by it. Yeah, that's, that's, Chris, Chris. That's, Chris, Chris, just think of it like this, Chris. Think of it like this, right? You can be as rich as you want, right? You are pulled over by a person who is racist and they kill you. What did your money do?

What are you? Like I understand. You're not being pulled over if you're that rich. Yeah, because you're not driving. Like, granted, like, I understand that money does lead to far more security. That's not a disagreement. But it's not freedom. But you figure, people.

It's this not. Well, your people, like you're an individual. Like, what do you say? Yeah, but, but if. But if your people are not free, are you free? Are you actually free? If you're if you're a person that is fine, but people that look like you are still under under oppression, then you are still a member of that oppressed group, you know? See, that's what I don't. I can't. Your money can buy you so much freedom. But it's still. I can't. I can't consider a black billionaire oppressed. Sorry, I can't do you. You can't sell. They're not they're not a press. They're not a, they're financially secure, but they're still a poor, unfortunately a member under under. Man-incially secure is a hilarious way to state that. But they are.

Like there's, there's nuance to things. Right. Like, granted, I think his life is still much better than 99% of people. But he's still, like,

there's still discriminatory things that he'll meet even in those groups of people. He can't get into a white country club. I don't give a fuck. I really don't. Like, like, I'm not like,

like, I'm not, like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to defend him. Like, I'm not going to defend it and be like, oh,

poor you. But they're, there is nuance to the statement. It's like it's still the idea of freedom is not like yeah I don't know. No one is free to ever no one is free so everybody's free. That's the mentality. And under capitalism, you're never, everyone is the whole point of the Incredibles that if everybody's free than nobody is. That's really dumb. That's really dumb. That's really dumb. That's the message of the incredible. And if everyone is incredible, nobody is. And that's still dumb. That means everyone's incredible. That's really stupid. That's my syndrome was a retard.

And he died at the end. He didn't die at the end. He survived. If you call, I mean, if you call. There's that sequel that came out. It's not him, though. It is. No, it's not.

He got a sex change operation. Oh, okay, never mind. He became that, he became that lesbian woman. That's hot. Which, by the way, they made syndrome trance. You should mention, we should mention that lesbians are violent. Let's move on to the next. Amen.

Amen. I don't know. Let me see. The Girtfather. You, yo, they're making a, a Godzilla fighting game.

Excuse me? Oh, it's been a while. What the fuck is happening? What the fuck is going on? It's been a while. Oh, the monster melee.

They're remastering it. That's really cool. Oh, okay. Do they have Gidora? I wonder if that's the one that my friend was playing, um, we're hanging out of,

uh, at a, he was on vacation and he was like chilling in this like a hotel or whatever and like I came over there and him and his wife were playing Godzilla some but Godzilla gave my PS2 some fighting game

I wonder if it's that one yeah they got you door and I'm buying that game yeah easy purchase I'm gonna have to ask him about it I don't know about that one I tried to ask Lily to get like when I get a Kinky Dora tattoo and she was like no I was like I well

this bitch is getting cheated on but That's crazy. For Derek and Sween, have you all seen the recent Twitter discourse surrounding gang violence in Cali? That started because of a teenager getting killed for wearing a Houston Astros cap?

If so, what's y'all's opinion? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I mean, gang violence is always the stupidest shit ever. Yeah, who gives a shit? It's always the dumbest shit ever. It's worth giving a shit, but it is just the dumbest shit to see.

Seeing somebody get killed over wearing colors is insane. It is insane. The idea that's even like a reliable way of designation as if people don't wear clothes, just normally. It's really insane because what they're doing is they end up terrorizing their communities. And it's like, brother, you're terrorizing your home. What you're doing is damaging your home. Like, you're not even, you're just, it bothers me so much. And I understand the circumstances that lead to people who happen to be involved in a shit like that.

but it's like, brother, you're still damaging where you live. I generally just don't understand the idea of, like, assaulting somebody over what they're wearing. It's weird. I don't get it. It'd have to be something particularly crazy you're wearing for me to even be like, ah, you're a piece of shit. But even then, it's like Photoshop like, you know, like me sucking a dick or something. That wouldn't even bother me. I'd be like, where did you get that?

You'd have to be wearing like. I guess I wouldn't assault them, but I'd be weirded out. Yeah, I don't even know. Like, it's, I don't know. I didn't see anything about this, though. I'd be like, where'd you get that, gang? Like, that's a crazy image. That's a crazy image.

I'm sure they prompted it. I'm sure it's exactly what they did. You got another one? Is gang violence even really remotely as, like, I feel like it used to be a bigger deal than it is now. It was definitely worse. But it was more active, There's still gang problems, but it's not as bad as like the 1990s when gang violence got like really, really bad in this country.

Yeah, like, I feel like it's like the mafia kind of where I'm just like, I'm sure this was, I'm sure this was a way big deal at one point. But like, I don't really think it's, I don't know. Like it doesn't, it doesn't strike me as something that like I see off. But also we are entirely not. Yeah, we're entirely not in those spaces. Right. So we're never going to see them. It's very concentrated.

But I also the people who I do know who are like like adjacent to those spaces like don't talk about. like they're not they're not mentioning it the way that like I feel like I remember people even back home like when I was a kid in Yonkers it was like by the way Yonkers is far from that stuff as well but I knew people

who were like at least like adjacent to people who like were dealing with stuff like that and now it's like kind of not at all also a lot of the gang members get old and they age out and then like a lot of young people are more like they don't want to be involved in it yeah they do the over the wrist thing one too many

times and the dick just actually falls off over their wrist and they're like, ah, well. Yeah. And then they actually have to wear it as a watch. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not a, it's not my dick. It's a watch. That is my dick.

It's different. I'm sorry. It's disgusting. I'm sorry, guys. I know. I get it. It's gross. It doesn't even tell time.

Yo, what if I see? This is not a real fucking write-in. This isn't a real right. And I'm not reading this. What the hell you said? You can't just say that and not read it. All right. Do you want me to read?

Okay. So here's here. Okay. I'm going to read this. Calling in artillery fire on a hose hoops to reject me. All right. And listen to this. Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. Dear men of men. I just wanted to hop on here and let you all know that Sweeney looks strikingly similar to the man who raped me with a balloon animal behind a bar in Charlotte, North Carolina in the summer of 2010. And for context, I was born in 2001. Oh. Now, if you were forced to go on a 53-hour bender of a certain hard narcotic of your choice, what would it be in where at? No psychedelics, please.

Thanks. I like how well. Just dropped it immediately. Yeah, just like, oh, yeah, whatever. Just letting you know. That's both too specific to feel true. It's the balloon animal. Like a balloon animal.

Like, what do you? That's. Like, what do you? the balloon just the for a a balloon animal is just crazy like to be able to work

and not pop just like it there's there's so much you just need to explain yourself there's there's technique to blowing up balloon animals you know like it's not even like it's a regular like you got to know what you're doing

yeah man I'm sorry about that I hope you I hope you find solace in figuring out like I don't know I hope I can offer something to help you Now where were you in 2010, Gingson? Yeah.

In New York? Going to high school. Lucky for you. Lucky, lucky we have evidence of that. Yeah. You know. It's unfortunate. I'm really sorry, brother.

Yeah, I'm not that sorry. Oh. Yeah, these things happen. The draw, I would probably just like do smoke weed. So a weed bender just past a, fuck out, I guess. Oh, here's a good one. There you go. I think here's one

interesting. Doc Ack surrounding himself with all four of his arms. Oh, sounding himself with all four of his arms. Jesus Christ. Greetings, Snark Tank, and podcast. Chris has mentioned having dreams so funny, he laughed himself awake. I've never experienced this until recently, and I wanted to share this with you. I had

a dream that Earth was invaded by aliens and I was drafted into the army. While moving through a city with my unit we came across a little gray alien and some guy goes fuck this gleep gleepe ass N word and forced his arm into his chest punched a hole through it and then lifted it

and threw it into the sun and made me laugh so hard I woke up these are things that happened man like I've only I've only laughed myself awake like maybe like three times probably in my life but like it happens it happens it's my favorite day whenever I laugh myself awake

what a great way to start you know I had a weird dream where do you know who Bart Wayne is Bart Wayne Barton Bartist What? No, I'll look him up now Song him just a boy from misery And I'm been to misery

That guy Bars bars bars So that guy I had a dream about him that He He was like He got arrested for like dozens of

bodies disappearing and they all were connected to him. And I was like, wait, what? Like, is there, did they found all these bodies? It was like there wasn't direct evidence. I didn't know exactly what happened, but it was like he's clearly implicated and he was just this massive serial killer. I had a dream about that. I woke up and I was like, what the fuck was that?

Why am I even dreaming about this guy? He is the goat, though. Oh, my God. That is a crazy person That is crazy. That is a bar. Yeah. Bart Wayne Bardist is He's got a

He's got a new song out. They got lucked up the third time this week. It's the only home where I get good sleep. A. Yeah, he's Let's they'll feel my pain On this lonely road. He's fucking,

he's, he's the goat, dude. Sometimes some people are just really good at making music that is shit. Right. Right. You know? Right. He has one of those. I'm such a big fan.

Oh, terrible music. It's so, it's fucking fantastic. Um, a lot of people are finding that backwoods or peckerwood 808 shit. Oh, that's just going to do it. Derek showed me that we were going to record the last episode. Bro, I

could not believe it. That shit is insane. That is the, that is is like, like, I'm, I'm getting to the point closer and closer where I don't really, I don't really judge music anymore. I'm kind of like, I enjoy it or that's it. Because I think it's just, because I think sometimes just sounds are good enough. Like some people, if you just hum, you're like, ah, whatever, man, that spreads good enough

for people. Some people are going to enjoy. People aren't. Right. There's this guy that I'm a big fan of. Like, I can't remember, like, anything about him. I don't remember what his name is. I don't know what his account is.

But he has those songs about, like, he has, it's just him in front of, like, a green screen with a bunch of, like, terrible, like, almost like clip art edits, sort of. And he's like, he writes songs about being like, like, like a gamer trapped in real life or something. Oh, yeah. So it makes me laugh so hard. It's like, because he, like, his singing voice is like really high, but it's also like not impressively high. So it just sounds like he's just, it's almost like, almost like Mickey Mouse trying to sing. But, like, being not confident enough to really, like, put his, put his, put, his full weight behind it.

Yeah. And it sucks. And I'm such a big fit. I love it. Yeah, I can't remember how it goes. But once I hear it, it would come back to me. Yeah. I remember.

Damn, I wish I remember how exactly it went. But I know, that was a good one. And let me grab you. Oh, yeah. Dude, Noah Edge, dude, the Appalachian grab. Can you feel it in? Yeah. Eh.

Eh. And, uh, dog, that shit is, I listen to that unironically. maybe three, four times a hour. Have you heard the other guy? I thought his name's Ethan something, but he is like, he starts off on like a basketball court or like a tennis court. He's like so damn funny, make the world laugh. Yes, I'm a ram with all this cash and dress, huh, like I'm a king of wrath.

It just, it just none of it makes sense. I don't know if you guys see this guy. This guy, he's, he did a show with Noah Edge. and Noah Edge and Jayno and San Francisco. I wanted to go so badly, but I was like, I'm not paying for you. If it was a San Diego or something,

I would have taken the trip. I would have gone. I want to see. I keep fucking up and not going to things involving, like my favorite artists, and I'm going to start doing that. I like next year, I'm going to,

before I get married and like I genuinely, because I, I were probably going to have a child. So before I get married, that next year, like 2027. I'm going to every con I can go to, every concert I can go to.

I'm doing all that shit before I got. We just can't. No, fuck that. Oh. Did I send you guys, did I send you guys that image of curious George tearing? Yes. Terry that dude's face off.

Yes. He was curious. He wanted to see what his fucking skull was. I love how peacefully he's doing it. Like he's still, he's still. cradling him in his arms and it's almost like he's just like kind of like ripping a sheet off of like a almost like you know when you get a new TV and you take the uh oh yeah the ceramic shit off of

the plastic or whatever exactly um wow my mother-law my mother-law oh interesting did you uh Chris you sent me not sorry you sent us somebody drew uh Fred Flintstone oh yeah die go ahead yeah that's an artist somebody somebody drew like a full-colored i don't know if i could show this on it's a little nasty i cannot show that i'll do a quick flash but like it's it's it's red flintstone sitting upside down shitting all over his own chest what's funny about this is like the interpretation is a little bit differently so this one's he like it's going up and landing it's almost like like kind of like a fountain and it's so green it's so green like the shit is so great. It almost makes it...

It almost makes it less gross because it's so... Like, the fact that it's green... It doesn't look like real shit. That's why you're like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, because it's green. It's almost like Nickelodeon or something. It's like, there's something like infantile about it. But it's very good. I can't...

Who did this? I want to make sure I get the... Is it Bart Wayne Bardist? Did you do it? No. Stack? Bartist. Oh my God, what the fuck is?

Zach Raw. Zach Raw. Zach Raw on Instagram. Z-A-C-H-R-A-W. You're not going to find that drawing on his... He just sent this to us. I think he also did the EDP as... Well, it was the same guy?

Yeah. He did E-D-P as Black Suit Spider-Man, doing the kneeling on the church tower in the rain. Oh shit. So this guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the same guy. Yeah, that's right. This guy's the real deal.

Genuinely great artist wasting his talent on on making our garbage, incredibly niche. Fucking, he can't, because he can't share this one. Like, he can't put this on Instagram. This is a, this is purely for the love of the game. And that's why I respect it. So shout it to Zach Raw. And all the artists and all like the clippers, like,

There's other people doing like best ofs I saw recently. Hell yeah. Best of the Star Tank for four to four, four, five, four hundred to four 15. I saw that. Homeless fan killing it out there. I think douche posted something too recently. So like, Taco, Taco, Tato Tato Tato Tato Tud. Always doing those like, mind numbing edits.

Yeah, yeah. So like shout out. Yeah, shout out to the community. You guys are actually really cool. And I, dude, homeless fan. He's nailing it lately. He's nailing it. He's getting some, I think there was another one that went pretty,

got a lot of views. I can't remember what it was, though. And, oh, it was a Red Dead. It was Red Dead and Majin Bu, Majin Micah. Yeah, Majin Micah. Yeah. That one, that one did numbers. I was so happy.

I was so happy that that one resonated because, like, that I love that one. Yeah. Like, like, the entire Dragon Ball, uh, Red Dead I saw even in the comments of that video which is funny because it's actually like it did really well

like 20,000 likes on Instagram so many people in the comments are like this is so specific I have no one to share this with Yeah I mean to me it's like okay Chances are there's a big chance that even though there's no technical crossover a person who really admires Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2

could also be a big admirer of some sort of Dragon Ballsy game or movie or yeah yeah it's there's crossover there's cross over it's not that impossible but it is also like it's not just dragon ball because i'm sure like a lot of people who know dragon ball and dragon ball see no red dead and all that stuff but like to know like specifically like bobby you know like these like these characters like i'm sure you people remember koku freeze a virginia these people yeah but like i would i wouldn't be surprised of most people who have like seen dragon ball like if you said bobby you'd be like what oh i think i think people would know i think people would know i think i think i think people would know i

They know Majin Boo, but they may, yeah, forgotten about any Bobbittie shit or anything like that. I do like I saw a lot of the comments people were focusing on the again. He was like, Martha, we have to go deal with Majin Bu again. That being a side mission is right there. That's the big part of the joke, I think. Yeah. Like that's why the joke exists in the first place. It's because like, you've got to deal with them again.

Again, they survived. What's he up to this time? he's come out on top before like he manages to get away yeah that's good so shout out to shout out to all the people doing art and doing clips and doing highlights and doing little animatics we appreciate you

it's been uh it's fun because like dude sometimes I look back at a it's really hard to just um find what works in every episode that like uh because there's stuff that I think is hilarious that like people don't mention and there's stuff that like I'm sure that's

there's something like there's something like that with each of us. But the highlights are a good indicator of like what does work. Because it's like, oh, that's completely separate from us. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. You know what's funny, dude?

Like, I was listening. So we get this comment sort of often. But like, especially on the clips, people will be like, oh, this is like, it'll be like a comment that'll be like, oh, close enough, welcome back, come town. Or something or something like that. And I was going through, I was, I looked back at a clip of ours where we were talking, what is it? The, it was the married with children, Al Bundy smelling his dick underwater. That's, yeah, I love that. And I saw like, the comments are all, it's like, this is like a prime Comtown bit.

And I was like, I don't, I still to this day have not, I still to this day, or I shouldn't say to this day. I should say up until like last week hadn't listened to a single bit of Comtown really at all. Like I know of it. And I knew what it was. I listened to a couple highlights of Comtown reason. I'm like, oh, we're just doing, this is what we're doing. We're doing basically. So Comtown popularized what a lot of the homies just do, you know.

Right. Because like even with like the gay shit, unfortunately there's a lot of, you know, not so smart people that are like, oh, you're just doing Comtown. I'm like, I'm older than Comtown. And I literally was doing that with my friends when they were still in elementary school. like when I was in fucking middle school I was doing gay covers of DMX you know what I'm saying I'm like this is not right they didn't invent gay covers

they popularized it and I shouldn't say yeah I shouldn't say we're just doing this it's just funny because like it's just again I say this as somebody who's like we've never like I just never watched it right but like we did but we ended up kind of in the same space anyway and I think that that's funny

and interesting I just imagine that there's so many people that listen to to come town that with their friends joke around in similar ways. That's why it resonated with them so poorly. I didn't realize how fun. Dude, I was listening to one.

And I was just, I was just to me the highlights because I'm like, I'm not listening to an entire podcast. But there's one where they were doing like Michael Penis. Yeah. I love that one. I watched that at like 4 a.m.

And I was laughing so loud. I'm sure my upstairs neighbors are angry. They don't like me. Michael penis is a good one. There's a guy named Saul that- I changed my name to Shannon penis. Yeah, yeah, because Michael Stanton. Yeah, that was a really good one.

Absolute trash. There's a guy named Saul that animates, that animates Comtown Bits. Still does it to this day. He has all the bangers. If I had to recommend anyone listening right now, there's the family feud with Jeff Goldblum. probably top 10 one of my the funniest fucking things to me it's so fucking funny

there's the mexican day laborer who uh he's giving an interview about getting raped by uh brian singer it's so funny dude well do the thing that like it's so funny the only reason like well so we got we get those comments a lot and i and that that was in that was a trigger or not a trigger but like it was something that triggered me where i was like okay i should probably like watch this and there was another thing too where like stav was like like kind of trending recently because there was like a people are parasocial about these guys by the way and it's very odd yeah but

because he was talking about oh yeah like he was on some podcast he was talking about like yeah when me and when me and Nick were riffing like we were really cooking and everybody was like everybody was just kind of like like Stav didn't riff at all or whatever

it's just like kind of like this thing it was like this big commentary about like who contributed most and who contributed least and I was like damn this is like a bigger conversation that I even anticipated. I really didn't think Comtown was even... I knew the people from Comtown ended up doing stuff that people cared about and people paid attention to. I just

didn't think that as this many people cared enough to have an opinion on like who contributed most of the show and shit like that. It was like getting thousands of likes and... That's internet autism. Really interesting. I guess so, yeah. Listen, but it broke containment for me because, again, like, I just was not...

Spilled in to you, yeah. I just, like, I guess I know Stavv from like his... podcast appearances and his stand-up and just like the clips that I've seen of him. I know Adam Friedland from his show. I know Nick Mullen from that stand-up special that he did. So I know all these people completely independently from the show that they did together.

Right. So, yeah, I don't know. That's an interesting thing. I haven't seen any of that. We should all do stand-up. We should all do stand-it. We should all take six months. We should.

Each of us right out of 15 minutes and we go up on there and we see who bombs the worst. We should do it, but we should all be in the audience, and we should, uh, we should try as hard as we can to make the other person bomb. So like when other people are laughing, just be like to, or no, or we can't laugh. We can't laugh at all. Like we cannot, our goal is we go there and we don't laugh at all. It wouldn't be hard.

Let me tell you at an open mic. I think, I think, it's not hard at an open mic to go there and not laugh. Let me tell you. I think I would laugh because of how bad. would be. I'm definitely the kind of guy. I would be like, yo, this is fucking hilarious. What would be your first joke? Go.

Damn. I'm such a not on the spot person, so I don't know what to do. Yeah. Man, that's why I did it. I prepare my jokes so much, so I don't know. Right. You're, you're I'm so famous in planning every joke I say.

So I'd be difficult. I'd go up there and I'd be like, how do you guys feel about trans people? Yo. They guys feel about trans people. They bother you or what? This name is crazy.

Drake, this name is insane. Drake fans bounce and moan when they poop, Rodin. That's crazy. You saw him with that goth girl, everything,

him doing that, that, that YouTube dating bullshit. It was fucking hilarious. I did see it. I just don't care. I get it. I get it.

I saw her and I was like, oh, man, I get it. It just one of those, dude, in my early, it seems to, They're really fake.

They're all, they're all cosplaying like that. Remember that Melanie Mac chick? She's not goth, but you know, if you know what I mean. Like, she's freaking out on the timeline

all over the place now because people keep accusing her of having Botox because obviously she's like a 50 year old woman. Oh, yeah. I don't know. This is how I look.

They're always just lying about this shit. I'm like, bro. I've never been able to fucking emote with my eyes. I've always looked like this. I've never been able to smile. What do you mean? I saw some broad like that on

Instagram name, make emo great again or some shit like that. She's some conservative emo chick. And she always has the filters on, which is all, you know, because she's all busted. Listening to the gayest music ever and being conservative is hysterical. It's fucking stupid. With respect. Like, dude. They're just bored. Yeah, it literally is. It literally is just complete boredom. I want, look at me. I'm conservative, but also I love all this arturator of shit that

no conservative's actually fucking like, you know, because you're a traditional, like, stuff that's not fucking into the macabre or anything that's darker. they're like that. What's a good, uh, what's a good conservative emo, but like my traditional romance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. That's a, that's a, that's so. Rise, uh, rise again. No, not right. Because it's, because it's Christ. Oh, rise again. Yeah, yeah. Like, there you yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's good. That, that like that a lot. I like that. I like that. Other bands are there's, um, uh, what's, uh, I don't know. I can't do this.

See, now I'm having trouble remembering, uh, emo bands. Fall Out Boy. There's, um, who's that one that I'm addicted to you? All American Patriots. All American Patriots is good. All American Patriots. That's good. Uh, what else? There's, uh, all American Patriots.

I like that's good. Oh, instead of simple plan, it's just simple man. Because that's what they always, that's all they always talk about. I'm just a simple guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, simple man. I'm just a simple closet homosexual that actively makes laws that ruins homosexuals lives. That's all I am. Making my life harder for myself as well. I'm just making lives harder for people that are confident enough to live their truth.

That's all I am. Yeah, yeah, that's all I am. Going to church Sunday. Instead of taking back. Instead of the killers. Taking back. Taking back. Taking back the Sabbath, I don't know.

Taking back the Sabbath? Taking back the borders. That'd be better. Taking back the borders. All American Patriots is so good. That's a good one. That's the dirty little secret, right? That was a poll of mine.

Dirty little secret. Dirty little secret. Don't tend on the one. I'm gay because no one will accept it. No one will. What else did they do? They did something else. I walk a lonely road, but it was a walk.

Oh, Green Day would be, uh, I don't know. Red, white and blue day. It's a lot of it. Red, red and blue day. That sucks. I like it. It's absolutely trash.

Well, it would be, instead of Green Day, not Labor Day, uh, Independence Day. How about blink 1776? Oh,

that's a good one, dude. Dude, I like that one. Oh, my God. I'm gonna look up punk bands right now. We could actually do something with this. Yeah, there's the pop punk emo crossover for sure.

Yeah, I like that a lot. Blink 1776. That's a good one. Green Day, Blame. I'm not sorry. Okay, so the offspring would be what? It'd be, um, the offspring?

Yeah. I don't know if there's really much you can do with that. Is that a Fallout boy? Protect our boys. Protect our boys is good. Oh, protect our boys. Instead of paramour, I don't know. Fucking Liberty.

Some shit. A paratrooper. I don't fucking know. It'd be panic at the, it'd be panic at the, what's it call it? Wait, I have one. Panic at the capital. No. Panic at the capital.

Panic at the capital. No. That's good. Panic at the parenthood would be pretty good too. Let's see. Panic at, what have the parentshood? What did they, yeah, panic at the parent. Panic at Planned Parenthood.

Panic at Simple. Simple, simple, simple, simple plan, parenthood. Simple. That would be the reverse. Simple plan. That's funny. Okay, so that it'd be a sum 41 is, uh, we already did that. Oh, no, we didn't.

Yeah, yeah, blink 17. Yeah, it would just some 1776. Yeah, it was some 1776 as well. I like it. how about it'd be like some July for it some some 1488 or something yeah that would be what it would be

some oh god man I love to be from 4th of July Blake 1776 is too good like I don't think there's anything better than that yeah I kind of want like I kind of want to mock something up or like um

I don't know it's just some flag bullshit and uh them and fucking founding father wigs or something stupid. Some fucking bullshit. Yeah, like some

absolute trash just like shitty Photoshop. The RF Kennedy's That's fucking Ew. The RF Kennedy is crazy.

Ew. Damn, these are all these are good, man. I can bother that. It's pretty good. I like it. There's so much emo that I feel like we're just missing. We're like there's.

I know. I hate the emo music. I just don't know a lot of email. That shit killed me when I was younger. I don't know it when I see it. I just, and my brain's not connecting. Like, okay,

when we're all, when I was growing up, I don't know, whatever. We got enough of them. We got enough of them. The emo error was definitely a little bit past your time. You're going into your late,

your late tuned early 20s when the era really popped off. No, I wouldn't say, I would say the, because of 05, how old were you 05? And 05, I was probably like 17. Yeah, you're going to your late teens. You already move into that point. Oh, I thought you said something different, okay.

Because that, when I, because how, you got me by six years, right? So you were like, because when I was, when I was like 14, 15 when I was like, everywhere, it was right before it died. Hmm. And that shit was making me want to eat.

lead through a barrel. I hated that shit. And now I appreciate it, actually, which is hilarious. I like that era. I was okay with that. There was more of a what they called like scene and screamo that I, I wasn't too much of a fan of that. There was a lot of like this band called sleeping with sirens. Hardcore was.

Hardcore was a kind of music. It was a kind of music. Post hardcore, really. That's what, yeah. And that's what. So people that listen to it will call it Harker. They wouldn't call it Screamo. They would call it hardcore music.

It got hardcore because to me hardcore is very specific. It's very like gorilla biscuits, minor threat. It's like hardcore is like pre-metal. Hardcore is like pre-metal for my eye know. Yeah, like that's like hardcore. And then there was what they call post-hardcore, which is some people call it emo or screamo. Yeah. That's what they called.

They called it hardcore and I was like, I guess. Okay. But for my uncle who was a fucking pothead D&D player, he would be like Hardcore is like just before it turned into metal music. That's what he was like. Just before it's like straight up metal music. That was hardcore in his mind. It's break into the capital.

Move along. Move along like I know you do. I can figure out. I can figure out lyrics that song, I think. I think if you sat me down for like an hour. Now Ashley Babett's dead and gone. She was strong. Now she's gone.

Now she's gone. She hit her head. Oh, man. She was shot in that. Yeah, but then she hit her. But then she actually got her head. She got kirked. She got choked.

She got churkelyzed. She got mega-kirk, dude. Is kirkulees? Okay, I have not seen that. I'm going to type that in. You haven't heard kirkulees yet? Well, I haven't seen anything related to it. Kirkculees.

Is there a fate worse? Is there a... It's real? It's not real. It's just, I fucking... That's the one part of him that you get dead. Google does it. doesn't understand what I'm trying to find.

His neck is the one part of it. Anyway, I read that name a while ago and then I didn't I didn't read the question. Drake fans bounce and moan when they poop. Hello, Chris Derek and the Great Mighty Poop from Conchers Bad Furday. Have you all, have you fellas kept up with Tabuscus slash Toby Turner lately? Yikes, look up Toby Turner invader scum.

If you have not regrettably, that is precisely what it sounds like it would be. He's been weird for a while, but Jesus, that shit was wild. Yeah, he I already went crazy crazy, yeah Yeah, he has a song about immigrants and how they have to get out of the country What? Yeah, you never, you didn't hear this?

I already went crazy crazy. I know, he has a song called Invader Scum. It's like, we gotta get these people out of the country. It really is like, that's not literally it, but it might as well be. And this is like unironic. Right, what's crazy about this is that like, I'm already associated.

with politics. So like if I like the idea of me making content like revolving around politics to me is like whatever. This is just part of like what people know me for. The idea that if I was free of that that I would ever try to make it so. Right. Is crazy. Like I don't know like if you have a career and you exist outside of politics and you're like, I think I want to get involved. There's nothing crazier to me. There's nothing crazier. There is the only people that I can Because this was an accident. You know what I mean? An accident?

What do you mean? Oh, what you? Like for, yeah, because I was just like, I just made, I didn't, I didn't intend for this. Yeah, I understand. I just made a video. I was like, oh, this is what I think about this thing. And then it exploded. It's like, oh, I guess people care.

I understand. But like, if you're like, I'm a musician. I'm Nikki Minaj and I think I want to get on stage at Turning Point USA. It's like, what is the purpose? Because they believe that they're fighting for somebody believe in. I don't know if they do. They're dumb. I don't know if they do in particular.

I know some people. I was trying to say that, like, there's this guy named C.T. Fletcher, who's a bodybuilder. He's now using his platform to expose, like, you know, Epstein shit and Trump and all this stuff. And then you see all these chuds that were in the bodybuilding industry that are all mad at him. And he came out. He's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. He's like, if I actually gave a fuck about you guys say you're going to unfollow me or anything, I would have just stayed in my lane, right? So he's like, I literally don't give a shit about you.

I'm doing this because I'm principled. And I was like, I respect that. I wouldn't do that. and completely destroy my platform, but I'm less principled than him. You know what I'm saying? So, like, he's like, no, I feel obligated to use my platform

because this is more important than fucking bodybuilding tips. And fair enough, you know? Yeah. But like, Nicky Minaj or anybody or this song about the immigration, like that shit's inauthentic. I think fucking,

that's just like trying to be an opportunist, I guess. Because there's so much money to be made. Yeah, yeah. It's like how Tim Poole will always do this thing where he's like, he'll have like a sound bite, right? And he'll do this,

he'll do this regularly, where he's like, he'll say something crazy. And then on the show, he'll be like, you see, like, do I believe that? No. And you know how, and watch, people are going to take that and clip it out of context. And they're going to get mad at me for attention.

And it's like, you literally just, you literally just lied for attention just now. Right. Like, that's what you, You are doing that. I've seen his stupid audience. How could you possibly get mad at people?

Right. I've seen his stupid fucking audience try to defend them. Like, oh, he's fucking around. He's trolling you. He's trolling you on purpose. And you're taking the bait. And I'm like, that's fucking retarded. Why would you respect or like or listen to somebody like that?

You know, like, well, what are you doing? Why would you get somebody authentic? Or people or people, I don't know, citing, citing ridiculous sources just to cite them. Ukraine is our. Enemy. He had to bounce the desk. Ukraine is our greatest enemy.

Him saying out his mouth. That's crazy. He, the moment, the moment he, they figured he was a Russian asset, he should have literally been dipped in lava. Like, I don't know why no one did that. I mean, the one grabbed him and threw him in a volcano, dude. You call lava's are us to get a nice bat of lava. Can we borrow, can we borrow a volcano?

How much for, how much for, how much for, how much for, a, I don't know, a cauldron of lava from lavas are us. Like, how much is that going to run? Only, only $16? In this economy, that's crazy. Like, an entire cauldron of lava for $16 in this economy is next level. Can you buy, can you buy lava?

No, right? No, you buy rocks. No, there you go. Can you buy, can you buy, can you buy lava in its, you can't buy currently smoldering lava. Yeah, what do you mean? You can probably buy lava. I mean, if some really rich person like

Zuckerberg, like, owns like a portion of Hawaii. There's a lava and maybe it'd sell you some of it. And then it cools down and then it's not lava anymore. Yeah. Can you give me your most destructive lava, please? Yeah. Well, let's get on out of here. Let's read the names.

Yay. Of our $25 and up patrons, remember you can also go to Patreon. com. That's a snark tank. Get your name right at the end of the show. Get your questions right at the show on the show. early access ad free exclusive episodes all that jazz

you know where to find us um got my head is fucking killing me today I don't know what the hell's going on I should probably eat breakfast I didn't do that yet damn Arthur your little head hurts yeah Dutch

my god a little headache I'm not feeling too good Dutch I'm so sorry suck on my titty Arthur come here Arthur nurse up on me so much nourishment, Arthur. Oh, big boy. Drink some nourishing milk out of my

duty, Arthur. Actually, Dutch, I think I'm going to shoot you dead. Sorry. That's kind of crazy. That's kind of crazy. Actually, Dutch. I'm trying to feed you, Arthur. I don't know what the hell is happening to this guy's voice now.

Dutch, I think I'm going to shoot you. dead dutch i think that's more well dutch i've been sucking on your teddy for five old hours and you're bone dry so guess i'm gonna have to kill you that's kind of crazy orther you don't have to murder me or crazy

nah i do i do don't you sleep on it for a minute author don't shoot him don't shoot him his other tit is still good Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need him alive. Are you hiding your other teddy from me, Dutch? No.

You know what I don't like that, Dutch. Arthur, I can. This one's for Micah. This is Micah's Titty. But I'm thirsty now. It's my Tidy, Arthur. You got to wait. You got to wait.

You've got to wait. You sucked your entire Titty dry, Arthur. now I get mine. Well, fair's fair, I guess. What the hell's going on over there? What the hell's going on over there? Are you guys sucking Dutch's tetties?

You guys better not be sucking on that titty without me. You promised I could have one for the whole day today. I'm sorry. I must have fucked the... I must have not scheduled people correctly. John. I still love you, but tomorrow I'll be fresh. I'll be full and right as rain.

Yeah, this is the... This is the... This is the... This is the... This is the... This is the beginning of the game. This is how it opens up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It opens up exterior farmhouse day. Close up. Close up Dutch's sore nipples. And it's cut to Arthur with milk streaming down his lips. That was a mighty fine breakfast, Dutch. You've outdone yourself. fucking video essay's greatest prologue of all time

greatest prolog of all time underrated masterpiece the game sold the game is actually like this is a different world where the game's like absolute shit didn't sell it all this is dog shit this is dog shit guys this is ass this is absolute perfection

what you say this is this is the most fun I've had this entire episode sorry never mind well looks like Sween's jealous again I was just about to say that I was just going to say that I'd just go back to your pappy

Suck out his Titty Yeah, what's going on over here So there's some titty sucking going on You need more milk from me, son He takes his titty out, it's long, it's real long. Yeah, you know those long Jamaican titties It's

Oh my god We gotta Let's read Let's read the names Count me down son Oh, Birch Son

Count me down Three Two One Oh my god Thank you son Oh my God Hey Homer

Did you Yeah Daddy milk is delicious Dude did you see the Adam's dick is small Like Adam Feetland Featting on the Simpsons That come town?

No Oh okay dude You have to look that out of It's fucking Adam Friedman What is it Just Adam Friedland Having a small

It's essentially Everyone in the Simpsons Like all of the The cast just acknowledging Adam's small dick it's so fucking funny it is again it's probably top five top five clips

so is it just is it just like an impression of everybody going it's like yeah it's Mick Mullen doing like in presence of like you know Mr. Burns Mr. Smithers Homer it's fucking funny dude Hey Keggston your dick is small I don't want to ruin like the funniest part of it

but there's there's a fun it's it's fucking that's all like this it's uh you come back to me you come back to me and you let me know if that if that shit hit or maybe if i oversold it again i'll put it on my uh um if you just put in like um i guess i would imagine comtown simpsons and then like they simpsons mentioned multiple times but this one specifically the adam adam's dick is small oh i said yeah they're talking about his small dick it's fucking funny dude every character every

citizen's character makes fun of Adam Friedland yeah it's pretty much like that it's um it's so good but Nick Mullins Barney Gumble is perfect it's crazy oh really yeah it's crazy oh god

I imagine that's probably really funny I'm gonna word don't to my guess March March is Kingston so stupid bridge. I don't know. I mean, look at him.

I think it's because he's black. March, you're racist? March. That's crazy. I didn't know you were a clan member, March. Marge would not clan how out is crazy and it's not long. I have to.

Part of her face is visible too. Yeah, yeah. It's like a little bit under her nose. You can tell it's visible. She's her hood under her hair. God damn, all right. Count me, I count me down.

I count you down a year ago. Count me down again this time. Three to one. One more time. I'm losing my fucking mind, guys. Watching the pod in public to practice my poker face, Drake fans bounce and moan when they poop. Nice.

Dry erase calm. That's actually all. That's it. We lost everybody. That's the entire list. Excellent. we lost all of our audience that'd be crazy

I'd be like oh shit that would be great but just there's three people left over the course of one week not even like a casual not even like a gradual dwindling like just one week four pages

two week three names insane yeah I'd be like what did we do oh fuck yeah how could they unsubscribe after a great bit like Arthur Morgan feasts on the nipples of

uh Dutch Vanderland I know right makes no sense I don't know makes no sense to me impossible dry erase come

eraser included uh Derek looks like a slightly less fat version of EDP 445 boom roasted oh all right not really

I wouldn't say that he's just black I wouldn't even just not nice to be it's like saying it's like saying I don't know it was either Al Roker

or Oprah Winfrey like I don't know like they're closer actually than they are actually closer you are right once upon the time Oprah and Al Roker are pretty cool oh they were a ton yeah yeah I only know Al Roker

as the the weather guy Charlie Brown oh yeah right right the only context I've ever seen Jail Roker was rough you know she loves you if she lets you beat her hot she doesn't let me do it

I've heard I've heard women say He doesn't even beat me anymore. He doesn't even beat me. I don't know if he loves me. I don't even beat me. I've heard those words. Culturally, there are some cultures. I heard those words. If you, if you getting beat in Russian culture, actually,

Jojo is telling me if you, if you beat you, if he beats you, that means he loves you. I mean, it makes sense. Does not. Does not. It does. It makes sense. Does not. I beat my meat.

And you love your meat. And I'm, I am a fan. That's not. You know what? Good point. But do you get that your meat is you? It's not really me. Okay,

never mind. You'll talk. I oftentimes, like, I oftentimes feel like me and my meat are other, are different people. Yeah, well,

you know, because it's like, it's, it's usually, it's interrupting me, like I'm trying to get something done. And it's like, hey,

come on. You know, what do you, what do you, it's like somebody, it is really like somebody, it is like having a roommate, basically.

Constantly interrupting you, derailing you, you know, distracting you. Hey, Chris, let me tell you secret. That's you, nigga. That's just you. I know when it's, no, because I can feel

it's shift. I can feel it's like, oh, it's not me anymore. It's like, Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Dickney. Now it's Dick Chris. Dick Chris is operating now. He's like, it's time to be Dick Chris now. And I'm like, no, I got to be Chris, Chris. It's like I don't got, you know.

This is the new, this is the new, this is the reboot of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyatt is. it's Chris Chris and Dick Chris Right And it's the The Hyde Which one's the monster actually Mr. Hyde?

Technically, Mr. Hyde is it? Yeah. So I think Dr. Jekyll, but like yeah Mr. Hyde is the visible Monster. No, he was like literal The visible monster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The visible monster. See, the thing about the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing to me is that like, like a Jekyll sounds like a monster more than like. That's the point. That's the point. Dr. Jackoff and Mr. Right.

Mr. Stop. I don't want to jack off right now. Right, exactly. So it's like it's Chris, Chris and Dick Chris. And it's just, uh, it's just constantly masturbating.

And it's just constantly masturbating. It's crazy. General Grievous's fleshlight savor collection. Eating Asian pussy to raise my IQ level. Hot. I get it. Um, that does work.

That does work. Make a wish kid throwing up one last okay sign to John Sina before suddenly passing like Fiona's dad in Shrek 2. Now I am become Mexican destroyer of wallbound. Sam Hyde, but not controversial. What was that the thing that we said

last time? So it's Sam out in the open. Oh yeah. Something like that. Yeah. Sam. Oh, Sam Seek. Sam Seek. That's what it was. He's a Sikh idiot. He'd lose his mind. Fucking racist piece of shit. That guy's a complete jacket.

Gene Gray watching Frank's family get murdered. Quaker Oates iPhone faced their mascot. I don't know what that means. Who the fuck was telling five guys on dating sites? They should be dead. Clinton whistleblower found on broom

without hands or head. Textbook suicide. Gay limp biscuit be like nothing changes. The dumb slut reverse Bill Cosby convicted of sexual defense. That's so stupid. I'm a sex defender, actually. Hey, oh.

Yeah, I'm on the sex defenders registry. Defender. Where I, um, I masturbate to sex offenders. Marvel's the sex defenders. Marvel. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the offenders. Yeah, that's awesome. That's fucking sick.

Offenders age of Ultron. And it's, uh, and it's, uh, James Spader's Ultron. sneaking into women's bathrooms and like taking pictures of them yeah these just abnormally large cameras like these novelty fucking cameras and shutters yeah the kind that you have to go under the fucking

under the little sheet to take a picture yeah that shit's so bright they can't see afterwards they're just like they're flashbanged basically for like they get their vision back after three days but it's

it's gone yeah for those three days stupid cold brew king alpha v gayest denver braggos fan in the history of being gay the straightest man from atlanta palanteer brand ambassador welcome to my brothel big st james no relation mr barry on the clown trary is fucking bars uh 9-11 2 on the memorial to rub it in my sexy time playlist is just chakaron by el chumbo on repeat i'll suck your dickle eat your shit guys be afraid to moan i be in girls ear like me Mel Blanc. Let's go. That's crazy. Let's go, dude. Good stuff.

Streaming like Mel Blank during sex is out of pocket, man. I mean, it's pretty common. I don't know what you guys, I don't know how you guys fuck. I completely silent. Yeah, I'm deathly silent. That's. I'm so quiet.

I'm so quiet that I make the rest of the room even quieter. I'm stealing sound. sure she loves it. I'm sure, you know, she's just like, oh, man, I love my silent lover. I'm silent. She can't actively hear me get more erect. It's like, my face is stone. I'm silent. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm laughing. I stare through them. You know, you know, like, I don't look them in the eye. If we're having, like, missionary, I'm, I'm staring straight through them. Like, I, I'm not even, I'm not even thinking about it. If we're having missionary, I put, I put a mirror in front of her face and look at my old face when I'm doing it. that's crazy that's but like you don't you don't do it at first

right and then as soon as you bring the mirror all of a sudden she feels you get way harder you get way you damn near double in size and width and with doubling it with is absurd why are black men's hotel

because they're gross that's stupid that that fucking a quiplash picture. It did numbers too. I didn't realize that until like, uh, yeah, I didn't think they would do that honestly. Like I just posted it on a whim.

Did you guys see that fucking post on my regular, on my alt account that got like 30,000 likes? No. What was it? It's that one with the lying. It got like 30,000 lights. Oh, and the, it went viral for some reason. I don't fucking know why. 30,000 likes isn't viral, but like, yes.

It's, it did numbers. It's doing numbers. It's doing well. I don't know. It's still getting like a hundred. like today and I'm like why this is nothing particular about this I think that's the first time someone saw people saw it had to be some sort of big creator saw it and fucking reposted it

yeah that's usually what it is had to be that was usually like whenever like something that would happen to me like I I remember like I used to do that for people like I remember like I would see something I'd retweet it and then it would get in front of obviously because I just had a lot of people follow me so it would get in front of a lot of other people and then they would repost it and then the cycle continues

but I remember Justin Wang would do that a lot to me was like I would post something and then he would repost it and then it would go that's i remember when i was active on twitter yes wang was responsible for a lot of the viral moments yeah that's very true yeah i love i love weighing so much because every single attractive bitch on twitter you go to their profile and follow you see it's so funny i'm like my nigger if it happens on instagram rome i'm looking for some niche fucking i'm i'm looking for a vocalist to work with i'm looking at all these uh female singers in this scene. This chick has a thousand

fucking followers and somehow wang up her. It's insane. Some girl has three followers and wang is two of them. Wang is two of them. If she's hot, Wang is following her and I get it. Wang's the fucking wild hunt, dude. He's fucking he is. He literally is.

His feed must be bliss. Must be bliss. Yeah, I don't know anything about like his personal lives. Niggas that are just funny or tidies and I'm like that is the ultimate feed right this is what you call like single maxing just like you just you got

nothing to worry about you don't have to be ashamed to nothing you're just living your best life and that's what that's how that comes off and I appreciate that you know it's like yeah I can't you can't fuck around you can't fuck around once you're locked in you can't fuck around like that you can't even just follow you know just to admire from afar

you can't even do that dude it's um it's it's uh because people will start like um try to make those Charlie Day connections from a, you know, from a, it's always sunny. They're trying to, they're trying to be like, oh, what you fault? And I'm like, what do you mean? I'm still, I'm still a human being. There's still an occasional, occasional titty on this screen.

I don't know. No harmful foul, right? I don't know what to. No foul, foul, hard foul. Why are, uh, oh, the Transphime Goblin vacuuming Chris's vents. I'm dumb and gay and don't understand clones. Prouling for clunge. card declined at therapy got molested again

that's crazy sam cedar versus destiny abridged buckets have come at 37 seconds i don't know what that means somewhere over the rainbow is sung by israel it's crazy uh i think that's his real name actually oh it might be i think that's his real name actually but i think about it god god that must suck for your name to be israel right now I would just go by Izzy. Right.

Yeah. And guest star and and and and and and and and star is real. Oh no. That's a cool name. I think Israel is actually a cool name. It's a good word. Israel.

If it wasn't for like you know what it is. Holy shit. Israel Kamakawiole. That's some my mouth that's a mouthful. Yeah. Sorry. I don't. Delta Gamma.

literally this probably last week, why I still cry? Clambule the mollusk. Oh, yeah, yeah. Blue Sanghili, you sir, Guildmaster, romantic homicide deep inside my backside. It's tight. So why don't you come inside and let's be fucking queer? Changing Sween's lock screen to a rhino

so he can't unlock his phone. Stupid. I'm going to kill the person with a mortar. Cortana Jerma chains the man who chutted the saw, Chud saw Chuck funny gums Getting slimed again

Charlie Kirk's last words After his neck exploded Were changed now Nice Wait what was that What It flashed Oh gay cum smegin jizz on a roll

Gay come smegin jizz on a roll Salt Peppa Kett Yo give me a dick and cheddar. What was that? Have you seen that video? Yo, I would be dead ass with you.

Let me get a bruns and a cheese. Estra dick, no cheese. It is like, what the fuck is? I saw a video recently. What is going all with my whole? I saw a video recently that said that these are the people

Spider-Man is out there. Dead ass dog. Yeah, some guy going, it was some guy to, not a bodega, but like a food truck going like, hey, yo, get me a dick and cheddar. Give me another dick and cheddar. Hold the cheddar.

Just give me the dick. Dude, it's like, dude, honestly, I've seen that me when I'm like, honestly, let him go, Peter. Go on vacation for like three months. Let him go, man. Ronnie Raggey's rape Rumpus.

Fucking ridiculous. The Sloper 2, wiseraphyst, does whoop-ass only come in cans? Putting a toothpick under my big toenail and then kicking a wall. Jesus. For what purpose. Calling a snowbody,

Bravo 6, the way she's going dark. Fun medical facts. some people get colloves colovestical ficulas or fistulas and literally piss shit

it's disgusting malboja you dirty inward the domo nation don't happy be worry the snark tanks resident v2er five nights at Lily's pister location round-eyed agent swapping all

come donations with his own come how much money does Derek need to make his Hulk 2008 revisionist history video essay. Wait, what am I supposed to say about it? Am I supposed to say that it, uh, it's, because what is the, to me, to me, it was, it was, it was, it was fine. It was, it had, it wasn't like monumental or anything, but Ed Norton was, was, was,

was a decent, uh, Bruce Banner. It wasn't like shit or anything. The Hulk was, abomination was okay. was okay. I think the Hulk's design in that movie was very cool. I just, I like, he looked really cool. I think he didn't like Ed Norton at all. And I don't think Ed Norton was a good choice particularly. He was not, I mean, he was, it was good for

star power, but it didn't really like, you didn't strike you as like, oh, this is some smart nigger, you know, like, this is a smart guy. This guy is, uh, like, it was, uh, Ruffalo was definitely a better choice afterwards. Because I can't play intelligent. Ed Norton. Ed Norton, I don't buy him as a smart.

He just didn't really even, he didn't try to look. I know that it's stupid, but he didn't, he didn't do anything to be like, oh, I'm a smart fucking guy. He just looked like, and to be fair, I guess by the time you meet him, he's already on the run. So maybe that's kind of also the point. Like, he was spending time in Brazil. I mean, he was doing breathing exercises with one of the graces and shit in that fucking movie. So maybe. Ed Norton, I don't know, Ed Norton to me just kind of seems like Ed Norton seems like if,

like if Joe Dirt was born in a town that didn't have a fucking bottom 50 education. You know, like, you just kind of like, there's something about him where I'm just like, I don't know if I buy the year. I don't buy that you know what physics is. I don't, yeah, I don't. I think I'm just, I think I just, too. Not that he's stupid that, like, I don't buy that, like, I just don't buy that, like, some, I just don't buy that. he would be interested in any of it.

It's, it's, I'm a little biased because, um, of like American History X and, and fight club to where, what, who did he play in American History X? Derek Vineyard, the main guy. Yeah. You know, yeah, you remember he's the one that stomps the, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, makes the dude bite the curb. Bite the curb. Yeah, he puts his, he puts, he makes him put his up in the curb and then.

Yahu's it. He does, he does not make that sound. He does not. He does not. not make that sound, Chris. I can tell you that much. Are you sure? I don't know.

He should. Yeah. So imagine there being a moment out of that of such good, too, it is Rachel violence. And then some guys like, you know it'll be perfect. A Wilhelm scream. With that movie, with that movie, with that movie, because that movie is like a dark horse, right?

It's, it's really impactful. And it's really like, anyway, if they put in like the windhelm, like you said, or if they put in that Tom and Jerry Yop. Would that immediately kill the vibe? It would. Like it can't recover after that. The story they're trying to tell that is serious is gone. Derek, he gets raped in prison and they do it again.

The more Tommy Jerry had tics. It's the, it's the wheeling feet sound. And then fucking Kevin Hart shows up. Oh, my God. It's a completely suck any amount of dramatic tension out of of the scene. Damn, what's going on here? Damn, I can't do it, Kevin Hart. He's just too. And then they kill him. Just animate

him. They snap his neck three times. They just can't spin. They break his neck and it's spinning and they put him down and his neck is still spinning. It's like a perpetual. It's like I'm fucking. Oh, man.

Oh, fuck you, Kevin. Art. No, no, he's kind of shitty. He's pretty shitty. I legitimately, and And I'm not even exaggerating. I only liked him in his camey, like his supporting roles. Like he was in Residence.

No, it's Resident Evil. What the fuck? Scary Movie 3. His supporting roles in that. His little, he had a, what do you say? What,

who are you talking about? Kelvin Hart. Kevin Hart. Oh, Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Like in Scary Movie 3, I think it was good with Anthony Anderson.

They were like gay. Yeah. Not immediately at first, but they were like, I liked what they were doing in that. And they were a burn earning situation Kind of yeah, yeah, that's good It's gonna I mean literally actually really we think about it

And he had a good cameo in the 40 year old virgin We were just trying to buy some shit I think his I think his first comedy special is funny I stand by that I think the second one's even funny too I think the problem is that he got oversaturated I don't know And he did fuck Anthony Anderson

In one of those scary movies I thought black people couldn't be gay I thought they killed homosec. I thought they murdered them in cold blood. I think that's an outdated perspective, homie. Gay people, black people are the witches of gay people. The witches of gay people. That's crazy.

Hey, I like it. Oh, my God. Look up the Good Sun Highway Seed. Trust me. The Good Sun Highway Scene? the good sun highway scene I don't know if I trust you yet maybe next episode I'll trust you

yeah Queen of Fap Hazard Sporticus fighting Dr. Doom Who is winning? Sporticus Oh is Sporticus that character from fucking Lazy Town Is that who that is?

Sporticus is really awesome He's really awesome But I don't know what that is I think dude takes a I only know this through context clues I love how Sporticus is just really athletic that's it sporticus he's an athletic guy oh what the hell that's sporticus i've seen him

before yeah okay i didn't know that was him yeah queen of flap hazard i think dr dooms winning i think doom takes it but i think it's a close fight he's kind of jacked okay he's pretty jacked he's very athletic that's his thing he's good at sports bald blue-eyed german man waiting for the expedition 33 movie so he's probably a really good e-gamer so could you imagine like He's the e-sports too. She's like a demon flying around the screen. Samurai armor can never be fixed. It'll always have a chink in it.

That's stupid. Hey, oh. Derek. Pretty racist. I was old racism. What's up? What's the... What is it?

Oh, no. It was the sort of another name. Yeah, I was... I'm waiting for it. Oh, it's so good. What the hair? What the hair has come over me? What the hair?

What the hair? Come over me. That video that dude Chinese food and like becoming Chinese is like one of my favorite. It's like audio eyes. It's funny is that his these nine frames so you don't know. Yeah, you don't know.

So funny. What the hair? It's just so good. What the hair? It's so good. It's just amazing. What the hair? What the hairs come over me?

Samurai armor can never. Oh, I read that right. Derek, I use my magic to turn Chris into a tungsten cube. Sween. Absolutely horrid, darling. I don't know what's going on. Lover,

lover boy girl, I miss Swinbot, didn't know Chris was in the Spider-Man game. What is this? Is this something like, like some fucking glasses wearing nerd? Isn't it? Yeah, probably. It's just someone that got killed by,

innocent by son that got killed my car. It's like, damn, dude, tragic. Right-wing Mortal Kombat. Christine Nome versus a strong dog. Four swing set glitch, GTA Israel

is spiritually lesbian that's crazy that's crazy look what you've created I really I don't look upon my work is mighty and despair

like Thanos at the end of Infinity War is city dad job well done he sits down he takes his dick out puts it on his wrist looks at it for the time

that music that that that that somber yeah like relaxing music's playing I love that I finally intrinsically tied violence to lesbianism I finally done it a job well done and I would suck

and I would suck 500 peens and I would suck 500 more just to be the gayest men you've seen and prove that I'm a whore oh come on this song fucked up I want the recast of a game to come out already, man.

They won't. Emilio, the chosen one. This way up, V, wants fentucky. This, Fentucky cried chicken. Insomnia is so bad. I'm tempted to try Fent. Hideki Chop suey. How do you own the endings?

The B. Soy Jack Sween. Look at the profile picture. What if Canola Joe was the friends we made? Call me a lesbian the way I beat. the way I beat up women. Hey, oh.

Andy, Andy Kala, Bizarre's rap song, Bizarre's rap song titled Justin Bieber is crazy. That's such a weird thing that somebody else brought up Bizarre. Oh, I know, right?

How bizarre. Bazaar. You guys remember that. Sorry I can't. I had a burrito. Oh, yeah, the freestyle. Uh, Bizarre. I'm a little action star.

And sometimes I act, bizarre. Oh, my God. Sorry, I kind of had a burrito. he's got teeth pulled now drinking blended big macs uh gids mr sisson uh or mr sisson i thought sweeney was the fat pervert who is dying instead of black history happy dark past damn dark past instead of black history is very i like it i get it i think i think it's good strategically changes so then you know the the uh the the the the racism won't freak out as much

It's Dark History Month, and they're like, I like this one. Fucking chewing garbage. Anyway, Columbus smelled the natives and just assumed. If you love Balders Gate 3 and the D&D system, check out Solasta 2. I've heard things about that too. Yeah, Celastas, it's really hard to play it after playing Baldess Gate 3.

Yeah. I don't know. Whatever fuck you, you should slither back into the festering gash that shit you out. Ging you took Future Sweenin and swapped into King Dad. Fuck face Unstoppable, cardboard pie, cum nut, cum nut butters,

uh, porn-tard goon slave, verily edging his meat rod to Wobble wagons and plap cushions. Jesus Christ. Um, guys, if the podcast doesn't start doing better, we can make a boy band.

If I'm not giving God my two-week notice, Cytheriaquai. Ooh. Listen to this. Listen to this. Because this is cooking. This is gourmet right here. I kind of feel it.

Cythiroquai, squirtual insanity. There we go. Squirties made of. Oh, yeah. I'm, I'm there. What about squirt cowboy? Ejaculate, but mostly pee in it's squirt, yeah. Squirting.

There we go. Dude, Cytheraquai, squirtual insanity is like that is. I like it. Absolutely. That is, honestly. Absolutely. cinema, no notes. Scythiaquai is a good one.

Squirt where I'm living in. Squirt where I'm living in. I've been gushing out my pussy hole. Things are big that should be small. I have a fucking look at him. Squirting, well, yeah, yeah. I love that you have a Tumar guy

fucking action figure. Derek, you still got that Tarzan Clayton Pick asking for a me. Oh my God. We recently showed it to one of our friends. We recently showed that. We showed that to fucking Viv

at a fucking Korean at Korean barbecue. Did you send it with the actual song behind it? Oh no, he didn't play the music. The music does kind of make it. But it is a strong enough

it is a strong enough image on its own. Let me see if I still have it in my Google Drive, all right? We were telling here, we were telling Viv when we were showing it. It's like, you have to sneak this into the, you have to sneak this exact drawing and this exact animation into a future season of Hell of a Boss or, or Hasman Hotel. Ooh. And so keep an eye out. Keep an eye out out there. That's great.

I love it. I'm not going to show it in fucking Tarzan. I have the Tarzan, the folder. It's just exclusively. That's the only thing in there in the Tarzan folder. I have that photo in my favorites Because of how ridiculous it is It's so brutal

I want to see Okay, I details activity Damn this was 22 dude Dude his face It's a classic man Tarsan's face kills me in that man I just don't remember

Almost four years old That's fucking crazy It's Gune devil beats Thanas By sounding him So I'll post it in the I'll put Look, look, if you are a Patreon,

just post it on Twitter. I can, hold on, I'm trying to, I'm trying to business, man. Okay, right now. I'm going to post it in, if you are a subscriber to our Patreon, I am going to post it in there, and you can have it.

All right, so you just got to sign up for the Patreon. And it's there. And then, you know, obviously, once you own it, you can do whatever you want, which it can end up on Twitter or whatever. I just don't really want to post it myself. I posted stuff similar to that. I've posted dick mods and stuff like that.

But yeah, this is something that is different. This feels, yeah. It feels created in a way you don't want to be like, I don't like, yeah, booty wonderland earth.

I'll post it on my main account. I'll do that. Send it to me. Hey, hey, dance dance, booty wonderland. Uh, Stiltsin,

uh, counting sperm's fuck loose. Mr. Jimmy Jam, flat push Franklin. Dave Rubin's ass is touching in the shower, uh, shower true love.

Wemby, wemby reen is just a therazanosaurus ah well you had a long nail dinosaurs yeah Wimby Wembe Wembe Wembe I forgot that we did that already I forgot that we did that already also I read it I was like Wembe Rine I feel like we're like speed running dementia by doing this show the way we do it I think no we just

we talk way too much we talk way too much more than so many other people that don't do they don't post them talking too much yeah the Twin Towers were complete in 1973. Was that? Maycar.

1973? Is that true? I don't care. I literally have no reference for that. I never even thought about when they were first built. I never even consider that. Yeah, I don't think I ever thought about it either because

they don't give a book. They were a part of my life so briefly. And then when they were gone, I was like, this looks better, actually. So like, I just, that's so crazy. I don't know why they didn't just replace it with two like smaller Empire State building side by side.

you know like just like you just make shit look more like I think we talked about it before 973 is correct yeah it's interesting I never even thought about that like 973 oh didn't last that long at all goddamn it is a 70s ass building

because it's ugly it's I like the towers man I don't know I guess I'm crazy I think it's like I like the towers it's like the ivory towers it's like this is where all the the fucking the elite go to fucking siphon money from people

It was like, it was like such an attachment to the skyline, at least when I, for me, what I remember when I was very small, but granted it was a long time ago that it got blown up and I've lived well at, like, I have so much more of my life not interacting with them than interact with them. Right. Yeah, I understand. But I do. I love those towers. They reminded me so much of New York. Every time I'd come back from like Florida or something like that and I'd see them. I'm like, oh, look at the towers.

That an Empire State building. Yeah. Being in New York reminded you of New York's what you're saying. Well, yeah, coming back and I see the kind of like getting back home. Coming back, and you know what's funny, looking back as I'm flying as I'm on this plane and I'm landing in New York City and I'm looking in New York City out the window, I can't help a big reminder of New York City. Yeah, Chris, when I get, when I'm getting back home from what you call it. I'm getting back home to remind me like, oh, this is my home. I've seen the skyline.

Yeah. What do you have to be reminded of that? What are you stupid? As a little kid, it would remind me. Forget where you live? When I was little, I would. What? Yeah, when you're getting back from someone, when you're little, you don't understand space.

Do you just walk in random people's houses and go to sleep and be like, like I think I live here. Oh my God. You are such a staggering faggot. I can't stand you. I can't remember where I live. I can't remember where I live. Do I live here?

I don't know. I'm tired. So I must live here because I'm sleepy and I just want to go to sleep. Not like it. I guess some people don't like it. It's such a hallmarked in New York. They just look like rectangles. That's the thing.

That's why they are just rectangle. That's why it's like they are just rectangles. They're incredibly boring buildings in my opinion. That's all. Even, and I just like, there's so much more interesting architecture in New York City. Yeah, that's all. I think that's anyone's actual complaint. Not that they exist or anything.

They just fucking boring reticles. So like, so you agree what happened to them, I'm guessing, right? So you're like, okay, cool, blow them up. In fact, I appreciate you gave the call. They were like on the plane. They called you. They were doing the whole box card. They were like, hey, Chris.

They called seven-year-old name. Should we do this? And you were like, yeah. Yeah. How are you even asking? Do it. Why are you asking that? I can't wait until Halo comes out in three years.

And they fucking boom. It didn't come on. I think it was already out. It was already out. It wasn't already out. It wasn't already out. It wasn't already out. What?

I'm 94. 94. Chris, you're 93, 94. 95? What are you? In 93. So, okay. So they consulted you when you were a newborn.

And because they were like, hey, Chris, we heard you didn't like this building. We're going to try to blow it up with a van. and then you're like Google Gaga and they're like all right that's the green light and then it it went off but they failed and so they came back years later and like hey Chris we have a better idea

airplanes and you were like yeah cool whatever and then they're like see yeah I like planes they wanted a sign for me and you were a Thai baby so you shot up your back and they were like oh we're gonna try and they came back to you were seven

and you shat up your back again and they were like all right cool we're gonna go for go. Shitting up your back as a as a as a as a as a not baby is a that's a fee. I got to see. I would be you got to be you got to be a not. Only babies can do it. Um, well, elderly people or you have to be really sick. Really sick. You got to be really sick. I can definitely give you some food to where you can achieve it. You know what I'm saying? Or we can just we can take a trip to a certain part of the world and we easily achieve it. But why just you know first thing we easy. I'm not going to.

I'm not going to say where, but we can just eat normally now. We can just go to the grocery store. That is actually, guys, I have a joke I'm going to use. I'm going to use this joke. I'm sorry, everybody. No, I'm not actually. Okay, great way to set up a joke. Yeah, USDA.

Anything that's USDA improved is fucking a lie now. USDA doesn't meet anything anymore. It just, it just means more poisonous, I guess now. Yeah, they've, uh, man, this president. Let me get like be from fucking Venezuela that like China was like, uh, what the fuck is this? we're not going to buy your beef. It's trashed. There's a recall.

There was just a recall of like 30,000 pounds of beef that came in from Argentina or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, Argentina. I said Venezuela an accident. Argentina. Yeah, Argentina sucks. Tell your children not to ride my train. Make a car, Star Coffee, the other V-Tuber,

Chris is Sweenee's Elena Butterboy, putting analog cigarettes out on robot dogs. I once saw Swoon fall asleep mid bowling ball toss. And I bet I got that strike. I bet I got that strike too, though. You got that stroke. Yep, and the strike. Strike and a stroke.

I like it. Yeah, it's good. Strike. Hong Kong. It's crazy. It's an albino. It's just a white, fucking,

that exists. That exists in Smash Bros. There's a white costume. We call them Ku Klutz Kong. Oh, okay. Hamas, the plane engine.

Craig the Canadian. That's awesome. Craig a Canadian. What terrible, what terrible end to August, ripped dolly and curry. Yeah, I lost my, I lost my lunch and I lost my favorite toy. Yeah, Steph Curry and,

uh, my doll and my doll and my Indian cuisine. Yeah. Uh, piece. Yeah. I'd always dip my doll in the curry and suck it off. It was so good.

Yeah, I would always get in crusted to the hair and then I would, I would wait for it to get hard and then I would chew on the crusty sauce. That's his, bothering you. Why is it bothering you? We didn't all do this as kids? Yeah.

Traditional. Yeah, sure. You guys didn't have a guy with a white collar who went to your school who touched you in weird places? White collar. It's crazy. Yeah. Fucking.

He's just doing around. Passionally made out with doing grop doing shit. Yeah. His name was grop cool. You don't know I remember grop coo. Grop co. He comes down. He comes down.

He comes down. He goes to remember gropo. Imagine he leans down in front of you. was like have have i molested you yet yeah like just yeah i don't know about what the fuck's going on here yes i don't know i don't

yes i don't think so it's like alright plan some of me in for three o'clock that's great why don't think imagine why would you say that would you try to get out of it like oh you don't know you're a kid you're a kid you're a kid you're a kid you don't even know what molest means it's a kid i i'm sure i guess so

that's true that's true i guess you are here victim blaming a child. No, I'm thinking. You have the opportunity. You don't know about it. You have the opportunity to not be molested. Like, I guess so. I'm thinking that he's asking you because you clearly understand what he's asking you.

That's what I'm assuming. I don't think someone that's molesting kids doesn't care. He doesn't have to honor. Why is he even asking? He's not an honorable. Why is he asking? He's a monster, Derek. That's why he's a monster.

That has nothing to do with being a monster. If he's going to molester regardless, why is even asking? Derek, because he thinks it's funny. or in his mind he thinks I'm being fan like he's like Listen this is the right thing to do The ask first

He tells the child Listen kid This is all rhetorical I'm gonna molest you regardless Exactly Going through the motions This is just setting up This is like

You know what Fuck it fuck three Let's just go right now You know Like I'm just All this is Is to give what will happen Some more context

All this is to give it A little bit more texture Yeah But I will What's going to happen Is it going to happen whether you say yes or no. Listen, kids, so I want you to say yes.

I'm partnered with the shrink industry, and I'm giving you more ammo so then you can stay longer and you can pay them more money, which I get a little kickback. Trust me, kid. Anything I'm saying right now doesn't make sense right now because you're too young, but when you get older and you freak out

because I've been doing this to you, you're going to have a lot to say. And you're going to have empty pockets. It's a good rack. it. You know, like, it's like a little,

there's a synergy. Synergy. That's crazy. That's crazy therapists. Like, they hire molesters. Yeah. To go out.

And like big, big therapy has been hiring molesters on the back end to go molest people so that, so that therapy gets customers later on. You've always heard about like the big, the big auto industry would hire thugs to smash up people's cars and stuff. so they can go get them fixed. You always hear shit like that. So,

it's, with this fucked up world, it's entirely possible. That there's some crazy racket on like that. But I get it. It's Shawnee D. Ray P. Parsons, Zach Rock is this true?

Lesbians, lesbians, spousal abusive lesbians. Facts. Oh, is that like the spider? Lesbians. Lesbian.

Spousal abusive lesbians. That's great. Goate guy. Finish Dark Soul. three moving on to Eldon Ring as to not lose my mojo. Fuck Patreon. Breaking news. U.S. Senator Litch McConnell has obtained both the eyes and hand of Vecna. It's EFock and it's actually funny.

Look a pro probo pass if you want to see a Jewish Pokemon. Oh, yeah, yeah. That image is... Dick so dirty, they call me Richard Nixon. Kremlin de Gremlin. Dominican Bruce Wayne. Minobot, Bobby, Minobot. My mom loves guys common anal sex. That's why I am like I am because I am like her.

new x-man 97th season is so peak i forgot to jerk it to rogue chris's nose so big he uses it when his dick goes soft hell yeah that's crazy that's crazy i do use it to i do use it on my phone sometimes damn fuck you that's cool man that's fucking crazy wage slave 583 uh holy shit why would you write that no way in hell i'm reading your name The Pippini bros hoping Hideo Kijima gets the voice in the last episode of Smiling Friends.

Donk, Donkerson, Dixon, Dixon, butts. Pee-Pimp, Bighorn from the Slappahoe tribe. Thanks for listening to the Inseparable Coastal Elite Lidfagcast. Please, fuck me gay and hard on your Ford F150, the Minesse, Louisiana, to the tune of Hotel, California. Welcome to the motel where my dad lives. Derek, I will pay you $33 and $11. If you suck on Kingston's big toe. I need way more money than that, sir.

Derek, I'd have to kill you, play it. I'd have to kill you play. Hey, man, do what you got to do. That's crazy. This is giving up that much. I'm not doing that for $33. That's crazy. But anyway, just putting you a tug on someone's feet in general.

It's like, bro, what are you doing? If you're into it, you're into it, you know. No, man. You're into it. You're into it. No, I can't expect anyone to do that. Just had my first threesome. And now they want to want to be a threeper up.

sad face. Well, you fucked up. Yeah. Idiot. Fucking idiot. That's why I was That's why I have three sums with men because men don't want to be public about that. Right. They don't want to be public about that. They're all closeted gay.

Have you seen that thing going around recently of that that lady who like killed her kids and there's like a bunch of like TikTok women who were like fans like they're like supporting her? That's not real. I'm not kidding.

Like it's like it probably exists, but that's not like, oh, J. Kingston. It's like that's what's, uh, what that's what that nigga clearly killed the bitch or at least had something to do with it? What? There, I'm not an OJ defender at all. What do you mean? Kingston, literally, I know you've angled your room cleverly to, to avoid it, but like literally on the wall where your camera is, there is a big poster of O.J. Simpson in the Farrah Fawcett pose. The wall where my camera is? The wall where your camera is.

Like behind, like this way? Like what I'm looking at now? It's not a difficult concept to grasp. Oh, you mean this window? You fucking trash bag? Oh, you just moved it. You just moved out of the way. That's good.

You just moved the wall. You just moved the wall. You just moved the wall. I need a little bit more context about that, about the, uh, why there would be anybody on her side? Because she's like, she was dealing it's I can tell you this

it's it's not the one that was like all dude because we talked about on the show is it the same one where she was like insane and then even her husband's kind of like defending her is it that one? No I don't that one is crazy that situation is insane

because that husband must really like that must have been really loves her he's a good man for him to for him to not fully turn into the Joker he has to do this

he has to defend her and be like there was a logical reason that she killed our children because otherwise if he starts doubting it the paint the face paint starts coming on the face paint like starts the peeve it bleeds through yeah yeah so

that situation is absurd bro I was like whoa it's crazy because like I would have been the Joker immediately as soon as I discovered our dead children I'd be like oh it would have been like what frame frame one I would I would I would I would have to you have to like look at this purple suit oh cool my I'm I'm not there has to be a reason like there's that doesn't just happen under clear blue sky and

if he knows she was sick like yeah he didn't know how like like and again you know you also don't understand how bad things are he even said like she was having a good day that's what was so tragic about he's like she was having a good day because she's had a lot of issues and a ton of medication but he was saying specifically she had a good day so now like he thought like, oh, the children were in danger or anything. There was any signs. She just oh, and then he was like, oh, my God. And then, you know,

you saw the purple suit started a fate, but then he's just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a reason this happened. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. She's like this, it's like the Phil Hartman thing from like forever ago where you're just like, what the fuck is? People are unhealthy, man. People are not,

people are mentally unsound. Unhealthy is right. Oh, right. He got blown away. You want to know how I got this? Hold on, hold on. I'm trying not to freak out. My wife did this for a reason. Hello, Batman.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. There's no bad man. There's no such thing. This situation is this fucking, really. I watched like a three-hour video about it. And I was like, yo, this is so sad.

It's unbelievable. It's some of the wildest shit you can do, man. Obviously, killing your own kids is pretty wild. He must really love her, man. He must really, really, really love her. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might know me from such famous films as being killed by my wife. Yeah, it's a good one.

Tragic. Yeah, that's fucking, fuck it. This is fucking sucks, dude. Dude, he was one of, like, he has a great, like, Phil Hartman has, like, one of my favorite sketches on SNL. And it's not even that the sketch is funny. It's just that his delivery. on it is so good. It's like, I've ever seen the one of him as like a frozen caveman lawyer?

Nuh. Where he's like, he plays a caveman that's like, is unfrozen by scientists and it becomes a lawyer. And the whole thing is like that he's eloquently describing how he's like eloquently and sophisticatedly describing how uncomfortable and afraid he is of everything around him while trying to solve like while trying to like argue a case. So it's just him being like, guys, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me. It's like, it's all this fucking, but it's so good. He nails it. That's funny.

Um, does Jamaican Joker call the Dark Knight Batiman? The first church of Keith David presents easily fix any song by replacing the most common verb with wanking. Doc, Ack sounding himself with four of his arms. pre-Raz. Just remember that one of my name changes mentioned on Charlie Kirk's... Oh, just remembering one of my name changes mentioned wishing Charlie Kirk's head exploded. I got to be on some kind of list.

Well, his head didn't explode, so you're fine. Not his head exploded. It's his neck. He got close. His neck explode. You got close. He took throttal damage. Throatal. Napster of puppets, das Guppy, taking rhino pills just to feel something. Computer. Make Kingston gay. A monkey monks,

monkey monastery. Exuming Dali Pardin for environmental reasons. Young, it's crazy. Young Sweeney getting swung into a tree by his cousin. The tree broke. But my back didn't. Jordan, what are you doing, man? Uh-oh.

Toilet seat cover, known as an Indian dinner jacket. There we go. I was like, what Indian joke is it going to be this time? That is so terrible. Jordan. That's crazy. Jordanian. Hi, I'm Kermit.

And I'm a raped Jordan Peterson. Ooh. David Drayman singing the bombs in Israel, oh, signing the bombs, sorry, in Israel with the snartank member names as revenge for the gay covers. Oh my God. That's crazy.

This is from Kingston Jameson. Oh, my God. One, two, three, floral avenue apartment six. why me Kingston Derek Chris from the Snark Tank podcast

Ooh ah I'm such a non-fan of Damon Drayman I'd be like Why me bro That's exactly That's exactly why You're not a fan

He's pissed I don't even hate him I'm just kind of like I you know Jordan He's pissed Jordan humor Be like

Indian Batman Probably does smell Is that one of the names That's one of the names That's one of the names episode due to episode 400 we're still off by 9

and it irks me we're not off by 9 what do you mean what happened I don't know I don't know what they're talking about yeah it's it's fake it's a complete conspiracy

it's like fucking it's like out on the moon or something being real it's not right exactly Chris is the game you're looking for

a halo from 2001 all glory to the hypnote hell yeah Mitt Loop was that Tim pole backwards Mitt loop Oh nice

Sorry Miss Jackson Ethereum has the past Because he took a loss His hard ass Pergerian Hunter officially As a daughter Frying bacon with my shirt off Eat pig

Eat pig Pray cow Love chicken Uh All hands on Dick The returned Nafrum And routing out our list

As always There we go King of Appazard The king of Pissot Yeah the king of I have to eat Pizzard Now

The king Pizzard and the Pissor Pissard. Pissor, pisser, pisser. We'll see you next time. Hopefully we'll be in person. How long do you think? Probably, I ain't fucking. I ain't fucking, not this week. This week is. I am fucking, I'm, I don't want him to be 100% sick. I feel, I feel fine relatively, but I don't.

I heard you coughing, pussy. Fuck, no. No, that's why I just said. I feel fine, but I don't think I should be in person. Yeah, I, I would bleed you dry like a sacrifice calf, dude. I'm not trying to get people sick. I also know I'm a harbinger that I'm, I'm sure I have the version of disease that would like, oh, and you, it got really bad and now it kills people. I know I'm that kind of guy. It's because you're tall. So like whenever you cough, you're spreading it around a lot more.

Yeah. Yeah. That's not when I. And you're not when I throw up, I spin around. So it turns into like a fucking like a whirlpool. Your lungs also go through your entire body. Like you have like you like you like you like when you when you're inhaling and when you're exhaling there is your lung stroke. stretch all the way to your feet.

And then, and then fucking, like, it gives you more capacity to, like, suck up so much more air. And that's why we need to, like,

inhaling, inhaling enough to, like, you inhale so much people in the room are like, yeah. You actually deprive the room of oxygen. Yeah. Fuck everybody.

Yeah. All right. Bye, guys. We'll see you next time. I'm going to drink an ocean tomorrow. All right. Later.