The Snark Tank - #439: Phuked Dawgs

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

Hey, I'm not sick anymore. Are you sure? Because you were talking about smelling gas. Oh, that's good. That's good point. I smell like butane gas. Hmm. And it's, and I, and they don't.

And I'm like, what's happening? He smelled gas in here earlier, and I came in with a lighter to make sure. Yeah. Yeah, really. You came in with that shit, full blast. Shit's so dumb. There's no gas. I'm aware, but what if there was?

Thank you guys. Well, what sucks? I have no say. I just die. I didn't have a say in it either. I didn't put gas here. No, but you pulled the trigger metaphorically. Welcome to StarTang podcast.

I hate y'all, man. It's me, Chris. It's him Derek. That over there. That's Sweeney. Look at him. Look at this little wave. You remember this guy?

Yeah. You remember that guy from the video? A long time ago about hating gay people. That's him. We're going to start a podcast We can go to Patreon. You can get your questions right. You think they forgot this.

I think most people probably don't even know that. Guys, guys, I've become very much so an ally. I'm sorry about my previous statements. I would actually bet that like probably the majority of people don't know that. By now, not anymore, I think so. That would be interesting. Yeah. We should do a poll.

We should do a poll. We should do a redo. We should make that video again. Ooh. Remaking it like exactly the same way, except for obviously. She can't do the apartment. Yes, you know. Yes, he can.

We'll ask. A little burglary. Just walk in. The fact there's people in the house sleeping is like that and we're doing that video again. Someone's in that room. You pull your desk in there. Do you think jail would be down? If it wasn't illegal, yes.

If it was legal, he'd be like, yeah, I'll do that with you guys. If it wasn't illegal, but the way we're playing on doing it. What if you told him that you guys had the blessing to come in and he didn't know better? Oh, yeah. He can't do. He can't do. He's like a professional now. He can't do shit like that to him anymore.

Whatever. It doesn't does anything matter anymore To us yes To other people The bigger ups no The bigger ups but what if you just pretend your bigger ups I feel like you can get away with if you pretend You're bigger than you probably should

Yeah Yeah How far do you think like if you pretend If you were like some sort of like multi-millioner How far do you think you would get? Probably pretty far Yeah Pretty far yeah

Yeah I think I would just like Max out of credit card and just go to parties That I have no business at and socialize And then just like Say like hey I'm doing this thing Okay Let me invest and then I'm just...

Didn't that guy... That's how a lot of people... Well, not even... Well, not a lot of people. But, like, the people have done them. Yeah. When they just max credit cards out, they go to these fancy things.

They make connections. They get investment from the people that they get access to from those parties and from those banquets. And then they just pay the credit cards off because it's a trivial amount of money. I've seen that...

I've seen it. I know one person who did it. Personally? Oh, yeah, he's dead now, but like, I mean, so it's not exactly the... Was it anything to do with the other one or no? What do you mean?

Did he die because of his actions? I mean, no. He got sick. The universe is like, hey, bro, stop playing. No, the universe. If that's what the universe chooses to punish, not going out your credit card. The low level amount of, like, just like, I feel it, man.

Like, base level, like, not, like, like, benevolent dishonesty, basically. I feel as if the universe every time I, I do something terrible, the universe immediately like, hey, stop. That's just you punishing yourself. Probably. It's probably my morality. Probably. It's definitely because if the universe, if like Martin Luther King Jr. said, you know, the arc of the judge.

It said it's long but it's been towards justice or whatever. The arc of the universe? No. In that case. It's towards chaos. Dr. Joseph Mangula would not have been able to escape punishment and live and die as an old man in Argentina. Yeah, but you don't know about the old caveman, Joe Mangala, right? When he was alive.

Uh-huh. he lived 200 years completely consequence free so it's like it's like it's getting better slowly but surely yeah slowly but surely yeah that's ass

there's so much implication they still live their whole lives but it's like a short way shorter okay half life effect so now we have like so we just learned in real time that people could live up to 100 years old and also they're clearly is reincarnation

well let's not get too crazy And a man are speaking. I'm like 200 is not that crazy. That's pretty crazy. Do you say too? Have you seen 90 year olds on average? I feel like that's a modern breed, you know? I don't think that's true.

I think there's additions of people. How far do you think it's going to, how long in, how far into the future? How long, how far? Wait a minute. How long before we. Yeah, like genuinely. Maybe, I think if we care to do it, if we actually care, we can do it like maybe like 50. Less than 50 years.

That's the thing, though. It's like, I do think it's something that we would care to do. I don't think that's. It's not like building more effective Halloween decorations that don't still feel like they were made in the 90s. You don't care to do it. Yeah, we still kind of do cheap shit for Halloween. There's no real reason to invest in technological advancements for like fucking Home Depot. Animatronic witches.

There's no reason to invest. But expanding a lifespan, I bet a lot of billionaires want that. That's true. But you know, the big problem. Well, over here, whether it'll be accessible or not is like another thing. But like, it will, like, if there's ever been a will to do something, that's probably the one of the biggest ones that will probably be done. Like in China, I'm pretty sure in China. Like, I give them like maybe like 20 years so they figure out a way to like noticeably extend human life spend.

Over here we have too much like God won't want us to do it bullshit. Sure. And scientists are like, niggil, we want to live longer. Nobody gives a shit. Like, people say God. But like once they get something like that, give me what. Yeah, like all the people that were like, oh, oops. I wish I would have taken the jab

Now that I'm in a fucking iron lung Like those types Exactly So yeah We need more money for research obviously Science isn't big right now All we gotta do is just All we gotta do is just all we gotta do

Yeah we gotta wait for Whatever the fuck's going on now to be gone And then we can kind of go back to normal Get some good research I think the great floods About prolonging boners Because I feel like that's the thing That's a little bit more important

Than prolonging lives Why do you want longer boners See because I don't think Cial is good enough Dog, I already have decently long boners and I'm like, I don't need this. This is not useful. You see, you're not a sex addict. I definitely was.

But I want to help. And now I'm like, I don't need. I don't need to be hard. We're trying to help those people out. We want, I want boners for about how many hours are in a week? At least 16. Saying boners in hours is crazy. Crazy.

How many bonuses per hour? Yeah, how many bonus per hour? The most you need a boner for to get the job done at most is an hour and some change. If you have more, if you have at one sitting have more than an hour and like 15 minute boner, you got to put yourself down. I feel like you're being discriminatory. Like what are the people that want to have boners forever? Oh, permanent boners?

Yeah. So their brain powers at like 15% less at all times. They're just horny and run around knocking over trash. kids. I feel like we can train to be more efficient. We just have to, we have to have longer boners and we have to be able to control all of that. So instead of the sexual prowess, it'll become intellectual prowess if you learn to control it. So you get hard and you're like, I can think more good. And when you're done to be hard, your brain's even better. Exactly. We're nailing it. You see like these are, I've read many research papers on

YouTube about this. I've read many papers that have been spoken to me. peer reviewed by other YouTubers. This is why we should be in those rooms, man. We should be in those conversations are happening. Oh, yeah. I would be in the smartest minds where they're like actually, they're using like the type of language that would like be within research papers.

And I'm over here like, hey man, can we get your long boners? And they're like, oh. And then you, someone was like, Eureka! Oh, you know what? All we needed was a common lay piece of shit to really block the thing that we're missing. You're like that.

I can't peel sketch where they pitch gremlins too. Have you seen that? It's based on a real... Like, it's really what it was, where they were just like, they just green lit every idea. Because they were just like, who cares?

It's gremlins. So they're like, what if there's a female gremlin? And she's a slut? And they're like, good, put it in. And what if there's a smoke gremlin? And it's like, yeah, whatever. Fucking who gives it.

That movie is insane. It's really fun though. What was the last time you saw Gremlins too? When I lived in the Bronx. It is an insane film to rewatch. Especially considering the first movie is like, relatively grounded. It's still insane.

There's gremlins running around. But like there's like an internal... Two is different. There's a logic to the movie. And then in Gremlins too, they're in a theater watching the original Gremlin's with Hulk Hogan. And there's a gargling. And that was a pitch for certain. Somebody was like, can we get Hulk Hogan in the movie?

Watching Gremlins in Gremlins too? Yes. I don't think I've ever seen this one. Dude, it is... It is the most baffling movie, I think. It sounds pretty crazy. It really is literally like it's it's it is a movie that we would have like done an extra ammo. Like oh,

and there's a lightning gremlin. And there literally is. There's a gargoy of a gremlin that falls in the cement and flies up and gets perched and it turns it's our gargoyle. That really happens. It's just a bunch of bits. It's just a bunch of slapstick. It feels like it feels like Muppets but like more zing. It feels like Muppets turning into the Looney Tunes.

Nice. There's like a professor gremlin. He's a smart one where he's like. Like he's got glasses and a pipe. I think I've seen that before. Yeah. Gifts or. Professor Gremlin.

It's so insane. You know what it would be like? It would be like if there was like, if you had E.T. Right. And then E.T.2. And they were just all like, oh, oh, this is, this is Dr. E.T. And like, oh, this is static shock E.T. And it turns into like a whole like extended universe.

Yeah. It's like, it's immediately like a way bigger universe than like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, can sustain. Have you seen the robot E.T. Huh? You've seen the script E.T2?

There is a robot Gremlin and Grimans too. I think I'm pretty sure. It's so stupid. All right. How does that, how does that born itself?

Whatever. Never mind. There's gremlins. Were they just making toys? Is that what that was? I think so. How many fucking toys can we sell?

How many different gremlins can we create? There was a girl grandma with boobs. She had a red dress on a blonde hair. Yeah, the slut gremlin. I brought her up.

That's hot. What is that? It's a slut slut gramlin. Yeah. You think anyone ever beat off to that? Of course. Yes.

I know for a fact. I know for a fact I have. Oh. Do tell more. If people jerk off to fucking cars. That is true. People have definitely jerked off to the female. There are people that date cars and not only...

Fuck them. Fuck them. And also make them male so they're gay. They have a gay car that they're having sex with. I love that. I love that so much. My favorite thing about the pronouns thing is that like... Oh, God.

Here we go. What? That's not how you started. My favorite thing about the whole pronouns. My favorite thing about the pronouns thing is that we've gotten so, like, we have no problem calling like boats women. Right. You know what I mean? Right.

Like cars, women and like guitars and women and stuff. It's such a weird. You don't get gender science is based. I know. I know. It's all. What's funny about that is really like you say, like you just said, but then like, so Skeeter will have his fishing boat named Matilda, right? And then there's this woman that clearly is passing.

Looks like a woman. But then they find out, oh, used to be a man. Well, you can't be called a woman. And it's like, what about your fucking boat, brother? Your stupid fucking boat that you stick your dick in the motor. You know why boats are called women, actually? Why is that? Because they have to be christened by being hit with a fucking bottle.

That is true. We were over this weekend, one of our friends had an engagement party. So even this whole weekend, all of our friends It was Jayland's engagement. So the whole weekend we all hung out the whole entire week with each other. And there's one moment where some guy was like, I saw a tweet that literally showed me. It was like, some guy was like, I didn't know christening a baby, christening a boat are two different things. I'm really sorry.

That's good. And it was like, how do you christen a boat? Jameson was like, yo, you hit it with a bottle alcohol until it shattered. I didn't know that? She had no control. She was like, what? So she didn't get the jazz. That's very interesting gaps in knowledge.

She's boat smart. She is right. And she is like if it was in a textbook, she knows that. Right. If it has any to do with human experience, she has no fucking clue what's going on. You think there's anyone right now that's listening that's mad that we keep saying boat instead of ship. Yeah. Oh, certainly.

There are different things. I guess, yeah. A ship is a fucking big boat though. What the fuck are you doing? I just saying, you know, on that level. It's kind of like cars and trucks where I was like, I get it. Like a truck is a big car. If somebody...

We don't call cars trucks, you know. I know. It's just the other way. You could. You could. That is a car. You could conceivably, if you own like a, like a, like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a all right.

Well, hold on. You could theoretically envision a situation where, I don't know, you're panicking. Maybe there's like a fucking, I don't know, a, uh, a fire in the house and a, or a murderer chasing you. And you're running and you have a truck. You could. envision a scenario where you're like get in the car get in the car you know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. For a shorthand. During stressful situations, grammar is not the most important thing. Of course. What were you going to say? Would you consider? So when you say a bicycle, right? Okay, a bicycle.

Technically, a truck is a bicycle, right? No. Why not? What are you saying? What is the point of saying a bicycle? What to you? This means a two-wheeled vehicle, right? Trucks are not two-wheeled vehicles. No, but they have two wheels, do they not? Yes. Does it mean only? Yeah. I don't think it only means only.

I think it literally does. I think it means too. Exclusively as need any two at least two? Unicycles technically. That's just about this is all I wanted. This is the reason why I did this. A bike is not a double unicycle. Are you sure it's not?

Yes. Why? Because a bicycle is a thing. But it's, but like how to. It's contingent. I don't think it's contingent. I think it's contingent.

I think it just, if it was. If it wasn't, then if you didn't, if you add, if you add a motorcycle is technically a car. Dude, he needs to be christened so bad. He needs to be christened. Chris in this man. Is it not? Is it not?

Listen, what? Is a bike, a bike and a motorcycle are effectively the same thing. They're both cycles. Yeah, I would agree that a bike and a bicycle and a motorcycle are the same thing. Yeah. I would agree they're in the family. This one is a motorized bicycle. Sure.

Yes, that's true. Yes. That is actually. But at that point. It's a heavy-duty motorized bike. At that point, is a car, is a four, does it have to have, because can it not be a two-wheel car? Here's what I think. Or is the orientation.

I think a unicycle and a bicycle and a tricycle, I think these are very contingent. I think they cannot have more or less. I think that's a real. A car is whatever. I think a car is like a vehicle. So can a car have one wheel? If it's one wheel, is it? Theoretically, like, you could figure the science out, yeah, you can make a one-year-old car.

Yeah, socially, if you made it look like a car, but for some reason. and it had one wheel in the middle that bounced. So it looks, right? It's a part of it. Is it all of it? A car is about... It's not all of it. A car is a vehicle.

Okay. So they're all vehicles. He got that right. Yeah. Motorized vehicles, yeah. So if you duct tape two unicycles together, does it become a bicycle? Technically, yes.

Functionally, if you, if, I guess, somebody was the world's worst bicycle, but yes. But then what if you put a car? Because it's got two separate fucking pedals for each wheel. It'd be like a terrible idea. So I guess... What if you go... Like, all for it.

That is insane. I guess the idea is if you weld them together, it's technically a bicycle. Sure. Because it is welded parts already. A bicycle is a... Yeah, it is well as if you weld two more of them together and put an engine on it.

Is it not a car? Not according to the DMV, but to us, if it looked like a car, it can be like, this is like the chassis. This is like the skeleton of a car. Yeah, it's like those, I mean, like, missing a lot of,

you know what I mean. A bigger question is like, is an ATV a car? Yeah. Oh, I consider a car. You consider an ATV a car? I would kind of also,

too, a little bit. No. Notice how when I said I agree to you immediately reverted his opinion? Yeah, my brain, my brain was like,

no, no, no, there's something wrong with that now. No, I can't agree with them. No way. Because like what?

My fucking stupid son. Doesn't know what a car is. I'm thinking of a, single city ATV like that's not no there's other ATVs. No our ATVs is that not a classification of like a handful of vehicles. Yeah it's an all-terrain vehicle because it's like but an ATVs is what a what a what it called a motor cross bike yeah what are they called that is

I think literally motorbike I think motorbike dirt bike dirt bike that's what people usually call them dirt bike like is that that's also that's an ATV yeah because like yeah because there's like quads but it's made only for dirt. Yeah. The moment you get on the sidewalk, it stops. It stops to be like a wall, dude.

It's like those shopping carts. Yeah, yeah. It's so crazy. You're not on dirt. And then you're dead. You're dead. Dead.

And then you get to inherit the next person comes along because they herding like the green lantern rings. It's like, yeah, jackpot. I got a shopping cart that was given him. You get some guy died

trying to steal it. 100%. Have ever actually just made a point And carry the shopping cart Just away because you put those things on you In the Bronx you could take them to your house Because people would do that sometimes Like my grandma will go shopping

She'd bring a go shopping cart there sometimes We have one in our building Son of a bitch Somebody definitely stole Some see I got mad because mine Literally locked I'm still in the parking lot The parking lot's just large

He can even get to his car Yeah That's egregious It was the new target when I was living in Vegas And so I made a point To pick it up and put it further. He had a bunch of stuff.

He had a bunch of stuff too. He fucking dragged that shit. Left it there. There was $300 worth of groceries. I carried it on my head like the Africans. That's crazy. I was just like... I still got some of Charles's order here, by the way, if anybody wants it.

My grandma could do that shit. That fat fucking piece of greasy shit. Hey, you don't know him, man. You don't know him. What if he was in a really good shape? Then what happened to him? Why would he do this? Did he ever...

He had a really bad day. He did some help. It was his bitch's credit card. He was, I'm going to charge this shit up, man. She's cheating. She's not. on him at all. She's actually working really hard for a promotion. And he's like, he's going to fucking

fucking party. I'm gonna' fucking hate this whore. I'm gonna order prostitutes. I'm gonna fucking 7-11. So fucking... Ordering prostitutes on a credit card. Can you do that? I probably. They probably have the, the apps. Because it's also not technically Yeah, that's sick as fuck in it.

And the thing too is that it's not technically, I think it's not, it is illegal but I think the way they do, they get around it is like it's not... It's a donation. Well, what it is, it's like, it's illegal to pay somebody to spend time with you. Right. And if if something happens, then it's like, it's kind of like, oh, well, you know, naturally what's happened. The sex can't be the transaction. Because all the transaction is the time. Tinder would be extremely illegal if that were the case, right?

Right, exactly. You go and hang out. You're all going to fuck. You usually sometimes go out and pay for a meal or whatever. But that's how they get away with it. Exactly. Is how they're just like, well, they're not paying for sex. They're paying for time. One day I know is, and sex might happen, but like, that's not what they're paying for. Donations. We, uh, me and my friends back in like, I would Post high school, we were fascinated with casual encounters on Craigslist because we're like, this is a third kind. This is crazy that this whole thing exists where I'm like, and then of course what we were saying, like this is going to be shut down because people are going to get murdered.

And it's literally what happened. We started to learn some of the terminology that people would use. So one of the things called roses. So that was the money. And so they would use, you just don't say money. And then you say donation because it's not illegal to donate for. fucking you can just donate money i'm not paying for sex i'm just donating money this bitch because i like her and so right there's other terminology that i can't remember but the one that i never

forgot is anal sex is greek because you would see this thing yeah so i guess i get why they chose that but i would see this but fuck each other i was like what the fuck does no greek mean yeah i would always see i would see this no greek on this like everybody you look it up what the greeks do you look it up and then like i don't remember a lot of them but i'll never forget greek because I can never do that shit. I'm so afraid of online dating. It's crazy. I never tried to do the prostitution thing, but I did try to bang on Craigslist.

And I think I told you guys. I think I told those stories where it went horribly wrong, where it was some guy was pretending to be a woman or something. I almost crashed when he revealed. Probably so many people I never heard of this. Long story short, I was like, I want to make a point. I want to bang a chick off of Craigslist because that would be cool to notch on my belt failed the first time where the texting is going to meet this chick in the next city over

I called I guess I wasn't supposed to call so I texted say like text me when you get here but I call just being like oh I'm on the way sound like a woman to me but then person probably got a little nervous and said like oh is it okay if I'm a guy and I was like I looked on the phone and I was like what the fuck's happening I was on a imperial in this place Santa Gretutis and almost crashes the McDonald's right there. No, explicitly not. And I was like, brother, I was like, I'm so glad. What were you?

Because my thing was, what were you planning to do if I got there? Were you going to be like, where you're already here, you might as well butt fuck me. Like, I just thought. You were off three benzos and eight Viagra. You were ready to get something to happen. Your dick was driving a car for you. That's why I was like, oh, my God. God.

God damn it. Gosh, darn it. Yeah. Damn it, man. And then I moved. LA. So I forgot what year this was. It might have been like 08 or some shit. Then I moved to LA in like 2010 or something like that. And I was like one more time. There's a lot of sluts in LA. It's great. This is going to be great. And then this time it was, I got an old picture. Like that was or probably an old picture was a fake picture. Excuse me. Chick looked good. Like skin like, you know, sister. And I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to fucking smash this chick. And then I got there. This bitch probably like 50 years old. And I was like, are you fucking serious, dude? And then so she had this cute little dog Looked like Milo from the mask.

Aw. And I was like, hey, all cool. And then I was like, oh, hey, I forgot my phone in the car. Like, I'll be right back. I just fucking dipped. I just fucking dip. And I was like, that's fine. Never again.

You know, obviously, you never like, you. Online stuff is that. You gave it an honest try. Oh, yeah. It's super dangerous. I could have been killed. Let's in that period of time when it was like. Because I know that.

Luckily, I'm a guy though, because like, I'm sure that if I'll, the reverse, if a woman was looking for something, she would have been like, because there was the Craigsist killer that eventually got it. taken down. Also, never invite people to your crib. That's like the craziest thing. That could have been so dangerous for her because what if I was angry and like you dumb bitch you like to me? You strangle

her and then you have sex with the dog. I don't know. Like, you like Jesus Christ almighty, man. Or you have sex with her and strangle the dog. What do you want me to say? It's a it's Sarah McLaughlin singing. While you're giving it to it. And there's no much of fucked. dogs.

Dogs fucked condoms hanging out the poor I'm Sarah McLaughlin every day a dog is

fucked I guess that would stop me in my tracks when I was eating dinner I'm going to listen to this ad

this is crazy I would donate money and I'd be like I would actually start becoming an advocate I'm like yo for real

that's crazy leave these dogs alone do you lash out be angry leave the dog alone

that's crazy I've been eating a bowl of fuck dogs, but I never once thought about the name. You never thought, oh my, I don't, there's like a factory of fucked dogs that he put in boxes.

Where are you at, vegans? You ain't tell me about this shit. Yeah, they're sleeping on that shit, man. It's like, you should be making way more noise about that. The fuck dog, the fuck dog factory.

There needs to be more moves made, man. Someone didn't notice. Oh. What the fuck? What the hell is just poured out full-awd dogs? It's in his counter. It's just shaking, trembling dogs. And it's like the name of the biggest fuck dogs, but it, in parentheses, a real fine print.

It says, fuck dogs. It's the same thing. I can't believe it. I thought it was marketing. I thought this was, I thought this was French. Fucked the dogs. Fucked the dogs. fucking dude.

Oh, fucking, that is so dumb. Dude, shout out the fuck dogs. Shout out to Keith's shout out to crafts to craft and they're

fuck dogs. All right. I feel like the Oscar Meyer. Oscar Miners. Oh, no. I got to write that down

fuck dogs. I got to write this down. I hate the fucking shit that we write down. I, oh man, I had something that I wrote down

recently and I woke up to what I wrote and I was like, oh my God, what a fucking waste. Oh, and I deleted it, but I wish I didn't. I hope nobody, like, if I, if I go out, the only Jojo finds my phone and she knows like tossing the river. No, my phone is, my phone is bastardly. The notes of like the gay shit on here and my notes are normal or my phone is normal now. Yeah, because I had a guy to get a new one. Yeah, you got a new one.

My sucks. My saved videos of my phone. Yeah, you got to. Are wildly racist. extremely homoerotic very homophobic then like that's fucking Republican it's crazy

it's insane like oh I hate all this shit and then there's of course there's the racism and then there's this there's a picture of Michael B. Jordan hyper edited with his penis out

it's like what the silliest and it's like what the fuck is the picture of the guy oh yeah I did a I did a bad job so I didn't even send it

I didn't like it I'll show you real quick but like I didn't really... I'm so excited to see this. I've been it sucks. It's not good. Because like the thing it was like trying to... It's bad.

So what we're referring to is we were going to Photoshop our friend, uh, Jordan, hugging a giant penis. Yeah. So I put his face like it's, it didn't come... It didn't come out. It just not... It doesn't read right all. It doesn't look very good. I hate the color gradient change of his skin color down.

neck. I hate that shit so much. It's so much funnier than it became out well, to be honest. Yeah, I guess so good. I tried to so I blended, I blended his, I just basically took his head and I try to blend it into the photo, but it made it look really not. That's perfect. It probably, it's good, but I, sometimes I feel like it would have been better if it was just poorly cropped on top. You know, like it probably would have been funnier. I think I tried hard. It's aspects to be Michael Jordan's ass sex

I tried hard and I was like I feel like I'm trying too hard and it's kind of in this weird state where I don't like it I wish people would try a little more on like dog shit stuff like if something was really bad people would try to like dog shit

yeah like that's okay like that's like that dog shit dog shit productions where you just make really bad content it's like to be but you mean it it's like not by mistake I see I want a movie on tubeby yeah we should do a two be one

we should do a tube movie I like it Who would it be? Who cares? Fuck dogs. Fuck dogs too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that.

I love that. Everyone's trying so hard to find fuck dogs one. Hard, yeah. Dude, that was me when I was a kid with a Kung Powell. You know Kung Powell, right? Yeah, first. That movie and what? Nothing.

No, go, keep going to. You know, fuck. No. I don't know. It's like, to me, that, felt like a niche movie when I was a kid. Nobody knew what it was. And now it's like it's kind of most people know it, but it didn't feel that way at the time. But like at the end of that movie, there's like a whole after. And it's not an after credits thing necessarily, but it's

like kind of like the end of the movie is like a trailer for the next one. Yeah. Yeah. What was it called? Like Enter the Fist. Well, Kung Pound Enter the Fist. Oh, that's what it's actually called. Is the first one. Right, right. I think. Yeah. No, I think it right. I think the right. I think I get right. I think the second one was some, I don't know. I forgot. It doesn't exist. So it doesn't matter. Yeah. But I do remember that they were the super movies. But I remember being like, oh my God, I want to see that and I was for years. I was looking for this fucking thing

because I was like they wouldn't lie. You know? Why do they lie? And then I watched Tropic Thunder and like I was old enough at that point I'd be like oh. Oh now I get it. You can just pretend movies exist.

Right. I know a lot of people did that for Jane Silent Bob Strikeback. So strike back is the second one Empire, right? Right. So people are like, oh, where's the first Jane Silent Bob?

Well, they were in what to call it first, right? Well, they were in a few. They were in a few Clerks. They're from clerks. They're from clerks, but they're also in Moritz. They were in all those movies.

Is that before Jan's Island Bob? Moritz? Yes. Is it? It has to be, right? Yeah, absolutely. Because they're in it, right? The one with Stan Lee in it?

Yeah. What a weird movie. Yeah. It's his only like serious role where he's like giving good philosophical advice. Well, I wouldn't say, I would say it's also kind of stupid because he's like, oh, there's that one bitch that I would trade everything in the world for it.

I'm like, when, where? You would trade everything for the, one girl like that sounds unbelievable yeah he's like um i like the idea that i like the idea that stanley is doing like jordan peterson philosophical but they're not laying your room c c ccelsio yeah i love man wants you to clean your room yeah i love that man wants you to vote for pete hexath remember that's bill c-16 is crazy that's so fucking crazy enough said he's like huh what shut up Stanley. Free speech is under attack.

What were you about to say? Yeah, what was that? I forgot what his last name is. I thought you were saying Stanley Epstein. That's what's not like you're about to say. Fberg. Oh. But that's not his last name either.

What Stanley's the last name? I forgot. I thought it was fucking Lee. No, his name is Stanley. Oh, I think I knew that and I forgot. He was Stanley something. I forgot what it was. Are we having mass psychosis right now?

What? No, his name is Stan. Like his, his moniker. He goes by Stan Lee. His first name by birth is Stanley. Oh, you're talking about his actual, like, Jewish last name? Yeah. Gotcha.

Leibowitz or whatever those are? No, no, it's not. Lee is his name is Stanley. Stanley Jew. My name's Mordecai Udenberg. Thanks for coming. My nephew's name Mordecai. Okay, I'm going to put, look, I'm going to type in.

My black person nephew's named Mordecai. I can see that. It's a regular show kind of thing. They're kind of like recontextualized. She's not that generalization. What I'm saying is, well, no, what I'm saying is like that show re contextualized that name. Also Mordecai. Lieber?

Is it Lieber? Yeah Stanley Leber There you go That's crazy then That's double a tundra type shit Some people might say Liber But you know

It sounds very German or something It's kind of like a double name though Yeah That still works Yeah still works Still my goat Love that guy Yeah he's dead now

He's dead now He's dead now Still my goat You can't have a dead goat Doesn't work I can't have a dead goat My literal goat is a dead person Once Michael Jordan dies

You can't be the goat You know they say about dead goats If you have a dead goat You're a Satanist Yeah I think will kill ghosts before Have you? Where?

In the Bronx? No, it's crazy. No, in Jamaica. I saw him kill you out. Like shit up murder it. Throw it in front of the fucking L train or whatever. That's crazy. No, they put on the block and they make it say something to smile at the size when they jump it to death and it's cooked.

What? They beat it up and it dies and it's cooked afterwards. You did that thing with Bruce Willis where you're hanging aside. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Edwards or whatever the hell. I forgot about that. That is a, he was a Samuel, him and Samio Jackson ran that movie together. I don't know what movie that's from.

I don't know what movie that's from. And I was like, what the fuck is he? I was like, that's... You would have died really quick. Like, I don't think you'd have enough time for someone to come up and stop you. With a goat? Yeah. Well, yeah.

What train do... Where in New York do you think you'd be most likely to see a goat just slaughtered? Like in New York City, in the boroughs. It's got to be like... In New York City... In the boroughs. Okay. Each borough?

No. There's a motherfucker between them. Okay. I'm saying, like, per borough, what place? That's what I'm saying? No. I'm just saying like in... general. What's the most likely

place that you would see a goat slaughtered? Probably going on Utica in Brooklyn, man. I feel like you could you could find, you could find like genuinely cloud strife there. I would say the Bronx. Because Bronx has chickens, I know that. They have chickens in Manhattan, too.

Where? Chinatown, nigga. What are you fucking talking about? Oh, yeah, I guess so. I never really spend a lot of time in Chinatown. Word? Yeah. That's some of the best food in the city. That I guess. I think my dad didn't really want to. You didn't want a redux? He just starts trimmering at this.

He's getting closer. Dad, Dad, they're Chinese. They're not Vietnamese. The same. I can't tell. I can't tell the difference right now. His dad's moving like Batman and Arkham, bro.

He's growing. It's like he has the fucking, he's like, he's like, Bain, where he's just like, like the serum's just going through him as he gets closer. He's getting bigger and growing guns.

He's growing rifles on his head. He's growing rifles out of spot. A friend of mine, We had a Filipino friend, Steve, and he came over to my house one time. We were just kind of getting to know him. Yeah. And he was talking about how his dad passed away in the war, and then my dad walked in and turned around immediately. That's crazy.

That's crazy. But that's real, though. I'm just kidding. But, like, I mean, it's... Win his room. Call him himself down by Chris. Pradling his gun, his trench knife. His trench knife.

He had a kukry. He had a kookri. Twirling a kukri is so like that's psychotic. I've seen it. It's like you're playing games for no reason. Why not? Pause and that was pretty good. I like the pregnant pause.

What is there to talk about? Did anything even fucking happen? I kind of like this is just bullshit. Who cares? Okay, fuck, let's keep bullshit. And then, um, Bungi. Bungi. They were like, we're sorry.

We're going to make games again. Also, my bad about marathon. Yeah. And they said, and they said literally what everyone had a brand is like, it was not meant to be the thing that holds up bungee. Well, we all, everybody knew that. And people are like, yeah, would you guys? And it's like, they didn't get rid of anything. It's Sony.

They're throwing a TDM, though, in Marathon, which is kind of exciting. Team death match proper? Yeah, because I was like, I'll play that. I don't give it like, because the meme was like I played a lot of marathon. I just got stressed out because I was just like, all right, this is good. I'm kind of done. I don't want to feel this. It's like something about a battle royale.

I don't know. No, I don't know how they're going to do it. Are you more like the arena like? I would hope they do it like. I would like a little bit of destiny, maybe a little bit of crucible. Because there's builds. So it would be a waste if you didn't. I don't know.

I don't know how they're going to do it. But I'm down to check it out. I mean, I own it already. There's no real point and not. But I just don't care about it. I don't know. That studio is a ship Athesius now. Like there's nobody really there from at this point.

Like nobody there from the old day. So like, what do I care with it? Like, it's just it's bungee and name only. It's like bioware, you know? He's like, that's not BioW. He's in the room. Don't say that. No, what I mean, like, you know.

I'll cry. I think BioWare might actually have more people from the team than Bungy now. There was a handful of people that, that's what actually strange. There's a handful of people from there that worked on the Vale Guard. And I'm like, what did you do? Derek, let go. Some of the people that wrote some of the best characters in Mass Effect also wrote some of the characters in the Valarad. I'm like, I'm non-binary.

What happened? And I'm just genuinely, is this not a testament? What do you got? to me about that whole thing is it's like, don't you know that that looks weird the way you do it, the way you handle it. Like to say the word non-binary in that in that realm, that wouldn't exist. It's so

insane. Like they even, do they even have a concept of binary? Yeah. You know what I mean? Not as far as like gender goes. Like, because look it, what makes it words that it's not a human character either. Right. So the way that they perceive that shit would likely be different to begin with. Right. Exactly. It's like you're not

it. It was just the ultimate issue horn. We talked about that a lot. It's just like, that's it. Like, the The concept of non-binary stuff is actually like deeply old. Like the rough concept. Yes. It's like a very old, old spiritual thing. So to re, so to use modern terminology for it. Listen,

the canary would have had a term for it themselves and it wouldn't be. It's in the way that we, you know, how, we have to do the suspension of disbelief where they're all speaking English, right? Or whatever. That's what Tom Holland said. It's my interview Tom Holland recently. And he was like, well, when you. Fuck you, by the way, whatever you were saying.

But it's similar where you said You said Dad in Odyssey And he was like Yeah, because I'm not speaking Greek So me saying dad or father No one's more right than the other And a guy's like Oh

And it's like dude What is why do y'all romanticize Why do y'all halfway romanticize stuff It's like I like the part of it That I get like the judge But then like It's supposed to you can understand this You wouldn't even understand this in the first place

It's supposed to be a suspension and disbelief in the way that, like, I said, I went back to AC Odyssey to play some DLC that there was some expansion that never played. And again, they do the same thing where it's like mostly in English, but then sometimes they'll say like instead of fuck, they'll say Malacca or they'll say like matter, butter instead of mother and father. Just to like a little bit more immersion, but it's not supposed to be like you're not, don't be retarded. So in the same way, you know, I forgot my original point. When you cut it, I don't even know what I was talking about. Damn, dude. They meant the canari's all dumb. Oh, the canari.

But, yeah, again, they have their own terminologies. And so, like, to get around not saying non-binary, you would just come up. It's like the Asari. They had certain terms and certain things. The fucking, the, oh, my God, where they called? I don't know. The Krogans? No, no, the, the, the ones.

The Kroglands. The ones that, Talley. What are they again? Krogan's. Oh, my God. Septipus. Yeah, that's it. Stop.

I'm trying to think of your brus. Corians, Corians, Corians. I knew it was like... Did you know the whole time? He was being up in the... You suck. It just got like... Kunari was in my head.

I'm like, is it Q's another cue? It feels wrong. Anyway, like, they had so many like, oh, here's our thing and Kila Shalai and all the... And so, again, you would just take that time to whatever their gender confusing or non-gender shit. They clearly have words for that in the Qunari language. And that would be your cue to say the thing and not binary. It would be just to help with the immersion

A little bit I don't know this phone is new It's fucking annoying Yeah man they don't respect They don't respect our man Yeah just give me bioware man Let me control bioir for a year Is it not a testament to me since it like some of the artists are

Some of the same people And I guess you can say the same thing about Some of the OG people that have been in Bethesda for a long time worked on Starfield And they're like Do you not feel like that this is Are you not in real time being able to like this is very lackluster. I need to do something different.

And in a way that like an artist that makes music where sometimes we question, are you not hearing your own music? Yeah. I think you get moved out the room sometimes, man. You know, it's like, oh, this person's old. Because it's a lot of people too. It's a lot of refresh things, you know.

It's a lot of people making disparate parts of the same thing and like throwing them together and hoping that they work. Yeah. It's, uh, AAA is so weird. Like, it used to be that a lot more people were like closely knit and involved. So like the audio guy would be like, hey, do you do this with the, you know, They would just be more.

They would, if the things touched, they would work with each other literally. Yeah. But now it's like you get, it's like telephone. It's like telephone through the project. Is there like I also, and I imagine. I'm getting, because we've been there too, like this being. What mosquitoes? Yeah, dude, I've been getting fucking ravaged.

Oh, I got, I got two of my ankles yesterday. I'm like, I think I'm allergic to mosquitoes. I don't get bit of mosquitoes. Why? They just don't bite me for some reason. That's good. Racist, I don't know. That's, see, like, this is why.

like I can't take racism seriously. Because some people don't get him. Because that's a great thing. I don't think because I'm black. He gets bit too. You brought it up, though. Yeah, you did bring it up. Yeah, but that was the illiterate. This is why I don't believe you guys

that you complain about, you had that chambered. You're waiting for some reason. There's some reason to be like, nah, black people are bitted for no reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems much to do about none of them. Hell yeah. So you read questions. I really don't think anything happened.

the thing. There's like some, there is, but like, remnants and follow-ups like, um, because you guys talked about, uh, Ed Shearan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so he, again, shot himself in the foot by coming out reading a teleprompted response. Oh, nice. Which was also very centrist and shitty. A couple cookie cutter words. He said October 7th.

He said, um, he called, uh, you know, the, he didn't call to genocide. He also, uh, said catastrophe, like, as if it was like a fucking national disaster or not soldiers blowing the fuck out of them. Did that fucking tsunami that hit that, Did you see that? There was like a tsunami that hit like some fucking temple somewhere Like in like either South America or maybe like Dude is fucking crazy

It was the ones insane Like the videos of it look insane It's like a video game It looks like a video game yeah It looks like everybody's dead I saw um there was a coast There was a big earthquake that happened in Costa Rica or something Somewhere in Venezuela like down that part of the world

And I was like this is what I'm talking about maybe No this is a little while ago Oh no A little while ago too when I mentioned it was just like a little while ago when I mentioned it just like brought me it brought it up but dude I was like yo this like knowing that this happens to the planet is it's like you feel so tiny because like I can't do anything about this I just did eat it in my sleep yeah thank the ground opens up and just eats me this makes me feel fortunate man oh absolutely I'm like that I don't live in we were just looking at uh I just

saw an Instagram a reel of uh it was in Singapore like one of the poorest towns where they have a chain of food where they recycle chicken thrown away So all the bones that have still have some meat on it They collect it all They try to scrub it as well as possible And then they refry it again And they repackaged it and sell it And that's how poor they are

And then I was just looking I was eating a bag of chips I'm sitting in my computer chair with two monitors You know like fucking video game And in a movie or something going on We are even at our level of I would say Like standard luxury

Yeah Right where we have like a place we have like creature comforts. Yeah, we're wild and we're aliens to people out on this planet still. Yeah, we're wildly blessed. Like it's crazy. I never, I never forget that shit ever. I never.

It's easy to forget, man. It's because like, it's easy to forget because I've been making this point recently because the whole Edsharing thing happened. And it's kind of like what's the proper level of care? And I tell people it's the only reason why it's different. to give a fuck is because we as humans have never been designed to do that. The internet has made us see everything. Back in the day, without the internet or anything like that, all you would have is your town

newspapers about the town and maybe a stretch of that, but you had no idea what was going on the other side of the world. So when there were genocides happening, you didn't even know about it. Now we're aware of it and we're also consciously, we're supposed to expect to live the way that people did back in the day when they weren't aware of it. And so now you're dealing with that. So there's the idea where I'm trying my best. Like I talked about I want to go to that Bohemian Grove and purge care.

I want to purge care for my system. So when I think about the gen. I want to be like Ed Shearing to where it's like, I don't go fuck. Like he would never say that. He would be the next song. I want to be like a joke. He doesn't give a fuck. And it's like there's it's fucked up.

But it's also I envy that to a certain extent because I wouldn't feel insane. I wouldn't feel insane that I'm sitting on my computer. playing this DLC and having a great time and I was like man my my graphics card is so good this game looks really good I'm really I really like the the DLSS4 the 4.5 it's like not 5 but the 4.5

is actually really good and I'm like this is really and then and then like you know something pulls up on my reel of like another blown up children I'm like and I'm like damn Swipe I want to see Ed Schernermo that's what I want to be like I want to be like

I want to be able to see that more children be like that sucks and literally that's the most I can give it oh that sucks and then you go to the next thing I can't do that dude it oh it overwhelms me literally there are moments where I like I fucking let myself slip down a fucking rabbit hole of seeing like horrible shit like I'm like what you go I've been I've been trying to do freaking local politics lately where I've just been involved going to the meetings and hearing like some of the just the ridiculous cut like even in the city the local stuff here is like crazy because it's all Armenian yeah it's beautiful what does that mean well it's like they were trying to like did you see that they were trying to like in uh i think i think glendale they were trying

what is that mean i think they're trying to ban turkish they were trying to ban they were trying to replace the little mermaid with the little armenian did you see that's crazy there's little armenian um no turks i saw that one they're really trying to they're trying to ban no jakes they were trying to make their own uh their own armenian disney they were trying to do like the little armenian they had like they did all the songs i want to go where the armenians I want to drag race all through Glen Oaks. That's not bad. I've seen the bad.

Listen, let's put it this way. Maybe open up, what do you call it? A fusion restaurant. Listen, do they not? I don't want to do this. I don't want to make those nationalities. I'm trying to help them out right now. All the things I'm joker.

All the things I do is people got, right? Do the Army does not deserve some of it? I mean, they went through a pretty, they went through a pretty fucked-up dinner side too. That's true. Derek. Derek. You're right. What color are we?

And did we get anything? You got basketball. Was it ever? We were selectively bred. I brought that up to Lily and she could not understand what I was talking about. And I was like, you know the reason why like a lot of black people are big and athletic? And she's like, yeah, it's just because you're black. I was like, no, we were selectively bred.

Yeah, we're little black people. They were treated like. animals. Like the black people in the Americas, we were livestock. We were bred to be big. And she was like, wait, what? You're telling me. It literally ruined her. I don't know how she doesn't know that. I think she's like the average person that's not thinking about anything like that. She seems smart to me. She's very intelligent, but like if you're not around social, you're not going to say social shit, you know. Intelligence and wisdom are two different things. I don't know how bred it. I met like a three foot tall black person the other day. Yeah, it was a child. Or just a fucking little bird.

I'm at a fucking small black person. Like, yeah, you had a nurse when you saw a baby. You guys weren't forced Brett. This is bullshit. Look at that thing. I'm going to hit you now. You know what it's like? It's like, you remember in like, oh my gosh, it was like 2009 or something like that.

Like around that time where the guy came into Congress with a snowball to disprove fucking global warming. That shit was fire. I remember seen it in school. Like some guy goes into Congress. It's like black people weren't selective, selectively bred. Case in point, look at this guy. They're just bringing like a fucking scrawny. Bringing a child.

And then the dumbest motherfuckers are like, damn, see? See? They're always complaining about nothing. They ain't got shit to worry about. Jay Z's a millionaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As he fucking proceeds the common piss in his own eyes. All right.

Those fucking Appalachian niggas. You know, you see those people that, that soft white underbelly guy, he knows that fucking Appalachian family that are all super inbred. Oh, yeah. I saw one of them and he looked like, he looked like an SEP. I was like, what the hell is that? They look like early PS2 character models.

They do, no, legit. He's not even lying. He's not even lying. You're like, there's no texture. They look like they only move when they're not being looked at, you know? Like shit like that where it's like, I've never seen you walk around. What is it a weeping angel from a doctor, doctor, doctor who? Yeah, Dr.

Humest. Still have not even been remotely curious about that IP. It's too British for me. Don't. Yeah, I was just like, I remember. So it's like, oh, whoa, it's like this thing. It's like, I, I, there is nothing that I care less about in this world. I tried.

I tried. My friend, my friend, who's also a big fan of Big Bang Theory, so I'm really trust him. But, like, he was like, oh, you got to watch, you got to watch Dr. Are you sure you going to want to say that? I wasn't going to tell anybody. Yeah, well. What happened? I've been watching Big Bang Theory.

Oh, he likes it. It's not bad, man. It's not bad. He's getting, I know what he's doing. He's doing the same thing when I, when I would go back to Cotor and start being like, God, these graphics are pretty good. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad.

It's like a lot of people. It's like a little. I'm talking about the graphics. The graphics are fine. The graphics are adequate. That's like how people are acting about Wolverine is what you're doing. Oh, yeah. You expected something tragically bad and because it's only mediocre, you think it's great. I don't think it's great.

I don't like it was great. I hate the overcorrection. The overcorrection people will say it's overhaiden. I'm like, no, no. It does bother me that people just overcorrect so hard. Why? It doesn't. As if you're not aware of like your own theory of mind. I don't. Why are they protecting the biggest problems?

I think we can all, I think unanimously people can identify the biggest problem with the game is just laziness. A lot of it was just, because you think about like say a lot of the problems like, oh, you can, the motorcycle scene, you can just let go and it can kind of drive itself. Well, yeah, that's lazy. They didn't want to animate all the deaths and all the things that could happen. The quick time events not having fail states. That's not wanting to animate those things. they cut a lot of stuff out there to save time The allocation is just like

I don't know how they spend so much money on that game Like that's a long time It's Marvel license and it's just like a long time But Spider-Man Spider-Man was like $90,000, $90 million And Spider-Man 2 was like maybe $120 million I'm hoping that like there's going to be an expose Like to make it

No brother Dude no Spider-Man one was like $90 million I have no one Yes I guess I could make And then two and then two was like a hundred and twenty million dollars. Two is not a hundred and twenty million dollars.

I'm pretty sure. Look, I said this could be wrong information. The last of us part two for, for reference, was 220. Is that, is that,

and Spider-Man has to be more than that? I mean, just inflation. They don't look it up to get like the estimation because I have no idea. I've never looked this up. 300 million is a lot of fucking money. Well,

it sounds like, that's a lot of money. Spider-Man 2 had a total development production budget of $315 million. Jesus. fucking Christ. Yeah. You know, when you think about...

Wolverine, if it costs that much money, then you know, just like money was allocated in a very poorly. You were right, though, Spider-Rond was 90 million.

Which is a crazy jump. That's like literally three times. That is a fucking crazy jump. Maybe like three and a half, something like that is a crazy fucking jump. It's nuts. Yeah. Why?

Like, just like this is like, why you have to... There is fuckery of foot, clearly. There's fuckery of foot, but also like just every, you know, things are stupid.

I agree with that, but like, Spider-Man 2 is bigger. Another character, so another voice actor, another main voice actor, longer game. Yeah. The voice stuff never really contributes to that. Yeah, at that scale, like... But I'm trying to get everything. I'm trying to catch everything, right? There's another character.

There's obviously you got to pay the characters more because I'll get the one did previously. So you got to pay the voice actors a little more. A lot of it... I really need to just... Like, a lot of this isn't... It's just time and... development like the budget of a game isn't necessarily like how how much it costs to like I don't know build a level the budget of a game is just how how much it costs to pay the salaries of the people at the studio for for any given period of time like that's what it is like it's when people talk about like how the budget for marathon was like insanely high it's like no that's the budget of like keeping bungee alive during the portion of like from marathon's beginning to the end but they were also doing destiny and you know what I mean so it's just expensive to run AAA studio is in America because a lot of those people are...

We talk about, like, a lot of people not making a lot of money, but, like, game developers make a lot of money. They do, really? Yes. Like, real proper game developers? A lot more than, like, the average fucking person. Like, their average is, like, over 100K. Damn, dude.

For a serious development job. And so, like, you think about, like, a studio that's, like, maybe, like, several hundred people and, like, paying salary and, like, benefits and all this stuff, like, over time. And then there's obviously production stuff, too. But it just balloons, especially as the economy gets worse, because then, like, everything more expensive people demand more money. A lot of times whenever somebody who's like really big is fired from a studio, it's usually because they've just become too expensive to continue on.

Yeah, of course, for sure. It's rare. You always see that stuff about like, how could they fire this person? It's like, well, it's like 20% of their budget is this guy at this point. Yeah. You know, so that happens sometimes. They have to, in my opinion, just make smaller games. I would agree.

I just think it's just like, why not just happen? It's so much easier to build games too. Like the machine The machine wants profit The machine is hemorrhaging now We're seeing it hemorrhage And it's like it's The profit would be to get games quicker

If they were shorter They could be more efficient Because that was one of why Ubisoft never clearly fully recovered When they were trying to cash cow Assassin's Creed and release one a fucking year Like it was call it duty Where it's like these are

Large games And then obviously we saw what happened with Unity And they lost so much credibility With everything that they've done surrounding that shit to the point where now even when they have competent games they won't get the praise that they're deserved. They made an amazing game

A Prince of Perjah twin crowns or something like that That game is amazing. Yeah and unfortunately No one talked about it because it's fucking Ubisoft Yeah, that games are literally fantastic I was like what happened? They fucked themselves so hard that like They're still not recovered

And I don't think they ever will be I think they just fuck themselves too hard What are you gonna do? And what's crazy is that indie games are now like at the level You know like they're at level now They're no longer like, oh, this is like, they're no longer freaking, um, fat princess and fucking castle crashers. They're like, Claire obscure and shit now.

So it's like, well, for the most part, Indy. Claire's like not really. Yeah. Or like, or like Silk Song and shit. They're not established studios. Yeah. They're making good shit now. Like really good shit now.

And it's like, you got to figure something out. It's going to get that. They're going to go to year. The AA one is going to be interesting because at a certain point they could kind of inflate to get into almost triple eight. That is what's going to happen. Because once, once as. those things hopefully there's just a cycle that never ends where if they start getting a double a game on average started getting too large because there's a problem clear obscure took forever and so did silk

songs as well like three fucking people or whatever it was yeah there you go so like in that case if they start getting outside investments well they're clearly going to be like hire more people put the shit out faster and then shit you know and the same thing could happen unless they stay in it's kind of a it's a unique place to living because it also sucks for us to where you would love to play you know you wouldn't want to play a hollow night silk song

every I don't know decade you don't want that right now we're waiting for the DLC and I'm like that shit's not this year I'm like that shit's not coming out this year that's it's we're talking about imagine if you were a little kid when fucking Hollow Night came out then you're full grown adult by the DLC of Silk Song gonna come out you were a teenager when it first came out you're a grown ass adult you have grandchildren that you got

That's fucking weird, man I always say I've seen the arguments And this is true about like Okay, remakes of Resident Evil They are better than the old games They are They are

However We were able to experience These awesome games In reasonable time frames We were young I would never trade that in For just better graphics Yeah yeah never

Gears fucking Got a war on charted All this Are you serious That whole little section Of like Mid-2000s to late 2010s or

Just the amount of shit we got Is this early 2000 between tens man 1999 or like 1997 To like 2014 Or 13 or 14 or something like that We were getting some crazy We got all of the wicker

Dude on PS1 we got in tired Like all the crash games Like all of them like all the big ones The original trilogy is like that's three years They made one a year of those Isn't that crazy That's so fucking with like technology That's sucked

Yeah by the way And I just no reason you couldn't make that kind of a quality game every like six months right with modern technology like you could do that I didn't say I didn't feel cheated either you know I didn't feel cheated at all the only the only time I ever felt weird about a game like that was like maybe like I think Lefferdad 2 came out oh yeah yeah and I because one year after oh yeah by the way crazy yeah but because that was even that's like a 1990s time frame yeah for the late 2000s right that was by that point it was like three years but was too big man I think I think we need to just we just scale it back like I I I

I don't know, man. You can make smaller AA experiences that'll be fun. Yeah. They just don't do it anymore. The problem is then, you know, the Twitter machine gets a hold of it. And they're like,

look at how unpolished this thing is. But it's like so fucking. Well, then it's like it does materially. Like that's what happened with the Craig thing in Halo Infinite. Okay. It's time to start paying those fucking, I honestly,

the game industry should, should control those fucking grifters. Just give them money. And so they won't, because you know, they're just shitting for profit. They give them that the Craig thing's overblown. Anything you,

like, obviously there's some people that are They're talking about Instead of talking about the lazy design Of the Wolverine game They're talking about oh, Wolverine seems gay With a saber tooth And I'm like that's what you're focusing on

That's your problem It's not even close The um The Wolverine seems gay Dude you know what's annoying is like I somebody asked me Because I was doing like an Instagram thing While I was running errands

Somebody was like What's your least favorite game of 2026 so far And I said Wolverine And somebody was like I'm sad to see that you bought into the hate, man. I played it before all of them. I hated it before any of you even knew that people hated it.

Yeah. That's crazy. I also don't hate it. I just, when I look at gameplay of it, I watch like maybe like half an hour of the story and I was like, I just don't like how the people look. That shit genuinely takes me out. It's got a bad. Except for the girl is Jean Grey.

Like her real actress is beautiful. She's like a really pretty bad thing. Yeah. Well, that happens often with them. She's gorgeous. I was like, yo, You're stunning. I understand.

You played that stranding. Everybody's perfect. Converting. I play every. I like, like, yo, I was taken back because I saw her. I don't think Jim Gray looks particularly bad.

But then I was like, I wonder who is what, because I've heard her voice. So she's from, she's in, not Concord. What is the other one? Apex.

He's an Apex. She has a character and some other games. And I was like, whose person? I was like, oh my God. They did you filthy.

They do everybody filthy, man. They do everybody filthy, man. Don't they always? Except for freaking, what is his name? What is the name? Troy Baker.

That's literally Troy Baker. It is. That's straight up just him. I was like, what the hell? It is. It is. It is. It is just Troy.

It almost makes you feel like it's deliberate. It's so insane. It almost makes you feel like it's deliberate because it doesn't really make sense in this stage of like development. It really doesn't. Because every other engine we're thinking of whether it's unreal, RE. It doesn't matter. The faces are completely acceptable. There's almost like my favorite is RE because there's like a perfect balance of like.

this is fake, but I can 100% tell that this is a real person if you understand what I'm saying. Exactly. Is there a person that they based Leon Kennedy off of? Is there a human that they had the idea of him? Probably. That's usually how it works.

It's kind of almost Dante, right? A lot of times you just have to like go out of your way to find out. That just takes like a little bit of looking at. This question I've asked us up for years. I could be like who they basically have Kennedy's face off of. It is interesting though because like you have these like modern versions of legacy characters that were invented before mocap and like facial capture so now you've got to like

you don't know you've kind of got to do this weird Frankenstein thing oh right so like well this has to still look like the Leon that everybody knows on some level but then all the times but then chris redfield's also fucking constantly shifting like no he's he's had different character models string up no one seems to give a shit i hate that even is did you play seven there was a sweet spot where he was consistent for a handful of games and then i feel like when that voice actor when they replaced them, basically the rumor is that to save money, which is crazy, but

that's the rumor. That's when they just started being like, who gives a shit? Like, we're going to make him whatever we want. Chris Redfield is like the brutes and halo, where they're just never looked the same a single time. Sometimes brutes have had like pointy ears. Sometimes they just look like almost apes. Dude, they're like, sometimes they're hairless.

Sometimes they're incredibly hairy. The real shepherd? What is that? I don't like, he looks a little. He looks a little. He looks vaguely like. Walton Goggins. I see a little Walton.

Vagely. A younger Walton and I can kind of see it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I don't like that ever. But I'm just like, how do they find this guy? That's the thing that I don't know about it. How did you stumble upon this guy? That's right.

Because like back then they would just, because somebody else voiced them, right? Yeah. So they just, they would hire like models. Yes. Basically. Yeah. They were just because they wanted the best looking people.

Unique heroic niggas. Not a bad fucking idea for fiction. I like that. I'm completely. I don't know who this person. is. So you play Baldur's game and you're like, I mean, come on, brother. Like, you want attractive people in your game.

Of course. Like, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that. I agree. None wrong with that. I'm of both minds, right? Because I'm like, look, you characters, particularly when it comes to people that are, that have bi dysmorphia. Indeed.

You know, like they have, they have like, you know, like it's sometimes it helps for them to see someone that's like a person, you know? It feels helpful, especially people that are like really going through it. People that are growing up as well, too. You can throw one of them in there. Why the fuck not? Yeah. So, like, I...

Throw one of them in his target practice. Shut up. Shut up. What, like, you could shoot him 50 times in a, in a Spanish village. It's not wrong. You know, when I'm doing, like, training modes and fighting games? I usually pick the ugliest character to beat up on. That's, I just pick a character.

That's it. Like, you know, Rufus? That's crazy. Or, um, or... In four? Yeah. That's correct. I beat the piss out of that fat piece of shit.

And then, um, and then Bob and Tekken. that's crazy. Bob's my guy though. He's like, Bob's good. Bob's good. He gave way because he knew he needed more power behind his head.

He was a fucking thinker. He's a thinker. It is funny how long it took for them in both of those games to put actual fat people in the though. There was a, Street Fighter 4 was so laid into it's,

it's the amount of games that they're like, we should probably put somebody fat there. A long time ago. 2008, didn't it? An upsetting amount of time ago. That's crazy. It's almost 20 years old.

That is kind of fucking. That's crazy. That just kind of slapped me. Maybe not 2008. right? Not 2008. I thought it was 2008. Let me check.

I was in high school. I know that. I don't think I was born yet. Huh? We're going to read the question. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is 10. I probably am too late early.

We're going to read the questions. You're probably right. Let me check. From our patrons over at Patreon. com slash a snartang. Remember, you can go over there too and ask your questions. Because...

Oh, no, 2008. Dead ass? Yeah. I thought like... That's great. Because I remember reading... Dead Space. Why?

I remember 2008 specifically when magazines were still kind of like around still. I was reading about, I can't remember the director of the motherfucker, but he was saying like, oh, I want to make Darkstalkers three in this art style. He's like, I want to do this and this and that. And then this was like when Capcom like collapsed. So like none of that shit happened. That's such a crazy time. Yeah.

The fact that Capcom has been the goat nearly died, they came back into the goat again. It's crazy. They're not. They're the naws. They're the naws of the video game world. That is cool. They've almost been slayed and they pull the sword out. And it took a nap and they walked back.

I was like, oh, let's just make peek again. Yeah, let's just let's just go hard. Let's consistently shit out games and they're all pretty good. When did it start? Like seven, I guess. When they came back? Oh, yeah, seven. Seven was when they came back.

Or maybe monster hunter, maybe probably. No wilds. A world. A world came out. The world was the first one. Yeah. Then rise and then now were that. But yeah, that's what they got.

You played only Musha, too? Not yet. Honey Mush is pretty good. Dog. It's crazy. I'm kind of. sweating but I'm gonna wait like I want to play I want to play it but I'm

Derek I'm like halfway through the game That game is crazy I played the demo I was already excited enough by playing I was like I don't play demos but I played that demo Because I was excited but then I had the weird bug of like I'm gonna wait for There's a discount on like I use loaded.com But I was like be a little cheaper

No wait wait until Christmas time Wait until Christmas time or I'm gonna get it because it's good It's good I have a lot of stuff I'm okay I like it quite a bit You finish it already? Yeah I beat it a while ago Oh, so you already finished? Oh, damn. It's not that long, though.

It's like a 20-hour game at best. Yeah, I finished it, I think, in like 24 hours or something like that. You know what's going to demo soon, too? What's that? Curse, bro. The first, it needs a demo. What the fuck? I thought that was out or coming out already.

It comes out. It's October. Two weeks after the demo drops. Are you serious? So it's pretty much a demo drops. It's like, hey, if you want to play this, I'm pretty sure they know the demo's going to be crazy. And they're like, oh, people are going to get this after they play the demo.

Okay. That's the point. Okay. I think I've been at the door some of that game. That's my game of the year already probably. I haven't played yet. And I'm like, I love, I love.

I love. I'm looking forward to control. Control is the thing. The next thing that I'm going to be like, okay, controls out. Oh, control. I'm going to probably dive into that. Windscar's coming out?

October, I think. Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's right. I think, uh. Not a third sounds. Well, it's October for sure, though. It's early October.

I know that. That's the one that, see, that's weird about that. I think FOMO does make me, because I don't feel FOMO for Adi Musha, because I never thought it was going to come. I never thought they would make another one again.

So I feel like I can, I'm like, cool, they did this is awesome. There's something about like, gears, the new one that I almost feel like I want to purchase that one quicker.

People are going to be playing it. That's the thing. Yeah, it feels like I want to open up Steam and all your homies are going to be playing that game. We're going to be like, oh, man, I hope they're having fun.

I want to get shot immediately. I want to get spoiled. I want to know who dies as if it isn't obvious. Like, as it isn't a pre- Look at these characters who never show up in the future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what's going to happen to them. Is Marcus going to be okay?

Is he going to make it out? I hope Marcus makes it to Gears 1. What if it's like, what if it's like, this is the real Marcus and it's like it's like a, it's like, who's that singer? It's like the Aver Levine, how like there's that big conspiracy that Aver Levine like got killed or something. I didn't know about this.

They were in Japan and she got killed. I didn't know about this one. There was a conspiracy theory about how like Everloving got killed in Japan and she's been replaced by like Ashley or something. What's the reason that people think this? Remember her whole Japanese phase? No, I actually don't. Really? No, I wasn't that.

I didn't pay too close attention to her. You were older so that probably wasn't like the only thing you were able to listen to. I paid attention when she was in her band. Wait, was the band called Haverloving? I think so actually. It was, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. So when I was a solo artist, I kind of like fell off.

She had a whole bit of Japanese era. That era was cool. Is she the one that had the I don't like your girlfriend? Is that the same? I don't like a joke. Okay, so the AI overview of this. Hey, hey, you, you or something. That is her.

Ever Levine was secretly replaced by a body double named Melissa Vandela after dying by suicide in 2003, according to a long-running internet conspiracy theory. Oh, 2003. That was probably when the band was still around. Probably, yeah. What the fuck? So they said she died way back. They got this, a Brazilian blog of Brazil.

Of course, Brazil. Oh, thank you. Yeah, of course. They can't... Do that. They're all in their rooms dancing. They're like, you feel at the same time.

A Brazilian blog called Averill is Dead started the rumor in 2011. Okay. All right. So it started in 2011, but it was like the idea is... It's set in 2003. That's crazy.

The theory claims that struggling Averill hired a look-a-name Melissa to confuse the paparazzi, the blog alleged is that after Averill died, the record label kept Melissa on as a full-time replacement. So insane. And there's like some like things about...

It's just like, oh, the style... The style choices. Evidence. Appearance changes. Yeah. There was one thing I saw that was kind of wild. But it was just like, I mean, that could be, I think it was like her nose was completely

different. But it wasn't like a nose job because like afterwards it's kind of, mm. Nose jobs don't revert. Was it just a photo illusion? But it, I feel like what happens with Biden. I feel like it's probably like, look at him. Look at how different he is. And I'm like.

And I was like, have you ever done a burst of photos and just swayed your head? And I'm like, just do those conspiracy theories. I want you to do a burst photo where it takes like 10. Just move your head and see how different you look doing that in each photo. It's like, all of them are you looking right at the camera. All of them will move your head. Yeah, let's do.

Let's get into some of these questions from our questions. Over at Patreon.com slash a snark tank. Remember, go over there. Please, we would appreciate you. What is this? Showing off vapes like bay blades, rode in. He says, salam.

Salam, what is this? Al-A-Lah-Lakam-A-Salam-A-Lakam. Salam-Wal-A-Lakam. Yeah, Salam-Wal-A-Lakam. Okay. Snark fam, Pragmata recently went on sale, and the gameplay has been an absolute chokehold, like to which I haven't seen for myself since playing Sekiro.

That's a while. Oh, interesting. What was the last single-player game? You all couldn't stop yourself from playing for hours on end. Couldn't? Yeah, you couldn't stop no matter what. You shit your pants. It's been a fucking while.

You could. He just went to get up for nothing See his shit under you It's been a while since I've been that captivated But honestly The last game that I was that captivated But I was Marathon And there's no single player component to it

So I'm struggling to think of like Like a really captivating one It's been a minute for me I would imagine for you It's Baldwin's gate That game captured me In the most aggressive way ever But there's other games

I've captured me since then Yeah Maybe Doom Eternal I could not put that game down I feel that game so fucking fast Oh really Yeah dude Because for me, I need challenges in my video games.

I need it to be a challenge that, like, I can learn how to become better at a gameplay. That's why I still love fighting games when I was younger. And it's like, the way you can interact with that game is so fucking cool. Yeah. There should be an ex-com for every game, like, our franchise. Like, I don't know why people just leave it on a table. It's not a bad trope or like a genre. Just works.

There's a lot of people that don't like that stuff. More than more don't than do, unfortunately. Maybe. That's so crazy. I don't know. Because like that fucking Rayman Fucking Mario and Rabbids Oh you're right

Yeah that game is huge Like on a reasonably And it's the dumbest fucking Premise in the world It's excom with the worst characters From Raymond and then Mario Like it's like it's a That is a complete fever dream by the way

That game is fun though That's right I'm sure people like it And I'm sure it's like not even bad But like I guess depending on what the game is Like the skin Yeah I guess Like obviously Star Wars of course

Because of fucking clones or everything like that, he's part of it. I think gears literally, they're fucking, like anything with like shock drop, maybe, you know, it is like, oh, you go down and you get like dirty. It works for them. Yeah, I just, it should have been an ODST tactic so long ago.

It's insane. I mean, there's a, here's, Halo Wars is a real-time strategy. It's not a tactics game. You're right. These are different games. It's a little too anxiety-inducing. I feel like Archiezer is too anxiety-inducing for the average person

because, like, you can't really slow down and think. You're like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. That's all, at least when I would play them, I would play StarCraft back in the day, I'd get really fucking annoyed because like sometimes, kind of like a chest where there's like the, you're like trying to hurry up versus like a turn base

where I'm like, hmm. And then a tactics thing where I can, the pace is a little bit slower. It doesn't have to be as fast as everything's happening in real time. And then, oh, this place is, they're attacking my thing. Oh, this is happening here. And I'm like, fuck. Anyway.

You just give up. Kill my army. Go ahead. I was talking about I was just playing, um, uh, play the expansions of an Odyssey where you're like in, um, Elysium and,

like, and all this shit. And I, uh, I switched up some of my, uh, abilities. And I was, I was having such,

I was playing in like an assassin actual mode. Cause usually I would just play it in a way where I'm just, raw dogging everybody. I wouldn't be stealthy. I would kill every. I would do all. There's so many. components that you can choose. I'm doing a very stealthy one and some of the mechanics that I

weren't aware of are so satisfying and fun in a way that I just didn't know and I'm like I'm kind of obsessed with this where like even like these chained assassins because the character you are is like a superhuman. It's like it's very obvious the way that you play that game like you can't jump and die you can fall from the high like you're basically it's not like that in the other games because you're different from the other people and the abilities that you gain from having this Leonidas and Speard It's fucking so fun That I was just like

It's really I've said this a million times Where I was like This is probably the strongest Like seven I've really played Where I was like This is a really fucking good game Very underrated with the

The game playing And how fleshed out And how unbelievably well it runs For I even fuck around With the game where I started using Telepoint points With the I put a trainer on I was like

Let me see how badly I can break the game It's really hard to It's really hard to It's really really hard to break the game. Like the easiest way is to just be in your boat and then teleport the boat and then you'll just be in the sky rowing. Then after a while it starts going like, what is happening? But like you have to like go extreme, but you can really teleport almost anywhere. The map is functioning no matter where you teleport. It's not a long lag and like everything

needs to kind of like come in and stuff. Like it's it's actually I said like it's as much as you say Ubisoft deserves a lot of hate. They fucking did a crazy good job with that game. I think they need to just take a break. Don't make anything for a long while, and then just make something really good. Well, they're in the middle of a fucking hostile takeover some weird shit. Yeah, that doesn't matter.

And they fucked up with, because they thought that's what Shadows was going to be. They're like, this is going to be. Did you see that the Call of Duty people are making Halo now? What? No, I didn't. What? That happened today.

That was earlier today. What? Which Call it do to people? I don't know. Fucking. All they said was that it's going to Activision. Interesting. Which is fucking crazy.

What is that going to mean for Halo? I don't know. I don't care. I'm fascinated by it. I'm morbidly curious about what that looks at. It's going to be a lot of shaky camera, first person stuff. It'll be fucking. You're going to see Chief's hands and knees in frame when he's running.

It'll be fucking deaf leopard or some fucking, I don't know, Axel Rose singing over fucking epic people. you know shooting guns and that's gonna be hilarious somehow fucking like soap is there yeah soap McHillow yeah McHillow I'm excited to see soaps freaking what you call it soaps like bandana as armor

Halo Halo Sergeant Private First Class Anderson What is it? Johnston Oh Oh from the

This Keith David's character I'm trying to Private Allen He's trying to call up private Pramadall. Who I... Something with an F. Figueroa?

It's definitely not Figueroa. Fitzpatrick? It's probably like Fergie or something. Yeah, it's me. It's me, Fergie. It's me, Fergie. Providence.

It's me, Fergian. Damn, Providence. It's Furgy. Definition, make them. Voice go loco. All right. Cursing Kingston with knowledge of the perfect BJ.

Would you rather all your bones soften as you get more tired or have your skull noticeably? Foley. Spilly. Holy. Sergeant Foley. Oh.

Keep going. Sergeant Foley. I mean me. Oh, my God. Would you rather have all your bands soft as you got more tired or have your skull noticeably expand as you got deeper in thought?

I guess deeper in a thought thing would be funnier. My head would not stop. That'd be a problem. I might die. I'll die probably in this room. That's funny. This also wouldn't hit me really hard

And I don't have to think that deep anymore Yeah, but then what if your subconscious is going crazy? Uh-oh Are you thinking if you're unconscious? I feel like you are, right? So that wouldn't even stop. You're doing, but you're not really thinking. But it's still thinking, right?

Subconscious thought. You have to be conscious for subconscious thought, right? Because you have to be, I think you have to be awake. I don't know if that's true. I feel like you do think while you're asleep. I don't think you do. It's what a dream is. You're thinking a dream.

Are you thinking about you? dreaming? I think you're thinking a dream. Or you're more happening. I don't know. I'm not qualified. I think the subconscious. I think that qualifies. Kind of like, you know, so you knock somebody out there. It actually goes way crazier. Yeah.

Probably, I don't mind my bones softening as I got more tired. I think you, I think that's funny until you're really tired and not at home one day. Oh, sure. And then you're like, ah, you're falling apart. Always have a red bull. fine. Yeah, and then you're just kind of like, you can do weird bendy tricks that you don't normally... You probably sleep really well.

Yeah, oh my God, you fold yourself up. I don't think you would. And then you wake up stiff and then you're all fucked out. Oh, no. Yeah, you didn't assemble correctly. You're like, oh, oh. You start getting tired from screaming, but you're like, oh. Yeah, that's a pretty shitty existence, but...

I like my bread getting to break as I think. Because I don't think a lot. Yeah. I'd have a tiny headposts. Yeah. get it. Women's boxing. You mean lesbian for play, rodent? This is, hi, apathy, contrarian, and soapbox.

Longtime lurker, first time subscriber. Ever find yourself in music slumps where it's just a repeat of the same few songs and not really wanting or not really wanting music in general? How do you get out of said slump? Also, Sween is an enjoyer of pain. Yes, he is. That's not true. Thank you for writing in. It's pretty true.

Yeah, sometimes. I don't know. Sometimes I'll get like hyperfixated on a song and I'll listen to it to death. especially if it's got like components then I'm like that's good you know a good riff randomly yeah like in the middle of it I usually go through Instagram when I see shit I'm like because I forgot about

changes right by by Black Sabbath I didn't know they made that song changes I thought that black guy that sings it made it song first oh you probably that's just just the way it is that's not you come by that song no like I'm going oh I didn't know blacks have made that song at all I don't know

this Black Sabbath, isn't it? I think, Ozzy, sorry, Ozzy made that song. Yeah. But I didn't know he made that song at all. I had no clue for a long time. Okay. And then I was like, oh shit. And then I played it.

And I was like, first of all, Ozzy sounds really good in his song. He used to sing well back in the night. The first time I ever heard him sound like a human in music. He had a decent voice back then. It was a little British, but it was still good. And I was like, what the fuck? And I found out about that song. But I usually, I just go through like seeing songs of like just on Instagram.

Like, when I'm in my threat, I'm like, let me like look up my favorite artist and see like if there any people that like associate to my favorite artists that I end up with. Honestly Spotify offers me a lot to good music too. Like when I'm like in a slump It's like,

it's like, I got good music from Spotify. It's like, try this artist and it's some fucking Brazilian person and rap or all shit I don't understand. I have friends who like, we just send each other music and it's a good way to find stuff

if you know. Yeah. Also, it's better than reals. It really has a bag. She has a pretty good bag of music. Yeah. It's like softer music.

It's not like exactly like when I'm trying to like, if I'm working out, I don't listen to music gives me because it's like fucking Sabrina's like fucking Ariana Grande's discography and I'm like this is a good song

but like I'm trying to lift like 200 pounds and I'm gonna die if I calm down at all I'm listening to this yeah I definitely have stuff like that but I don't know I think some of the most

I like a nice female voice that like can be like very hypnotic and I'll listen to that sometimes obsessively uh there's a band that I Spirit Box that didn't used to listen to that much back in the day

day, but I went back into their old catalog and started listening to them. And then I was just like, there's so much better than I thought because I just, I think I heard one of their big singles and I'm like, that's fine. I was like, that's okay. But I was like, they're a lot better than I thought. I'm actually actively looking for, I've been trying to find someone because I wrote a song and I've been trying to find like a woman that kind of has that type of style to sing for. but it's hard.

Like I've been like creeping on like, you know, smaller artist in my feed on Instagram and then trying to be like, hey, you know, let's do some. Let's try to get something together. And it's tough, man. It's tough to try to work with people you don't know. Yeah, it's awkward. Yeah. Just a Metallica.

I went to a Metallica recently deep dive and I was like, holy shit. They got some. They got, like, they have the biggest spectrum you've ever heard in my life where it's like, Some of their shit is like bangers. Yeah. Some of their shit is like, what the fuck is like, what the fuck? Like when you go through like their greatest hit album, that album gives me whiplash than a motherfucker. Because I'm like...

I think Fade de Black is one of my favorite songs of all time. That song is amazing. It's very good. Fidda Bag and enter Sandman from my two favorite songs. They're like, I fucking love that song. Yeah. It's so aggressively fucking... It's so...

Dad, fucking... Yeah. Fucking... You know, like it's so... Deney. Whenever I hear it, I just, I just picture a seven-year-old kid getting beaten up, you know, by his dad. I just, like a dad, like a dad lovingly bullying his son. And then it's like, dad, please leave me alone.

You're a grown man. I can't. He's like, get up and fucking tackle me back. And then like, get me in an arm bar. Yeah. I don't know. That song got out of something about it. It's funny.

I open because blacks are around. That's what it's about. He's like, what? Sandman, some nigger named Sandman. That's crazy. Enter Sandman is about what Blanel moved into your town. That's crazy. That's crazy.

That is an insane premise. And they're all like, damn, they're like, that's not who we met by the song at all. And at least singers like, yeah, it was. That's exactly what I meant. I didn't tell you. I didn't tell you. That's crazy.

They don't know. They were singing KKK hymns this entire time. That's crazy. And they have no. Oh, cool. And they're like, fade to black is killing a black guy. That's crazy.

I would really be upset. I'd be, fuck, I can't, can I? God, I bought this album. Can I listen to this?

Do I covered that song? I mean, so upset. And I think like, I listened at that back and like, the way we covered it is, it was like my favorite mix because everybody was on point. It's so good,

except for my voice. But other than that, like, except for me. The instrumentals is so fucking. good. I was like, man, I like listen. I'd rather listen to this in the OG one because the, the, the, um, the instrumentals. And it was a little bit, it's not imperfect E standard. It's a little bit higher. It's a little bit like, say, there's like, uh, you know, the hurts are off a little bit. And, uh, so it just isn't like the perfect C standard that we're used to. It just sounds a little bit better. I love it. I love that song. That song's fucking perfect. It's a dope song. Okay. Gay fuck, Seaman hunters. Wait, what is that?

Say comment hidden by auto monitoring. I get it probably because of the fucking name. Yeah. You don't have to read out. No, you selected it. Gay Cox Seaman Hunters wrote in. Hey, dudes, adding to the Kirk questions and double dipping, sorry. I work at the university where Kirk got murked and I have to pay.

Oh, interesting. I have a paid day off to commemorate his demise. You all got any suggestion on what I should do with the free day? That's interesting. They gave him like a holiday for the, for the, for the, for the, because you don't even get a holiday off for 9-11. that's true yeah that is insane

and they were like national kirky day or whatever it was called Kirkentines Kirkentine will you be my Kirkentine

that's cool man I hope you had a how we had a good Kirk Kirk day or whatever yeah let's let's read this one I'm thinking of the trials

of Kirkcules I think it was like Neigger one labor Neigger wrote in What you say Neigger wrote in It says

Neigger Yeah That's pretty cool It's yeah Not bad. He says, why is no one mentioning that Tarzan's hands are bound in that gift? Are they? It explains why his face is like.

Oh, yeah. Well, it doesn't explain. I don't have explained. Your hands being bound shouldn't unless they're like purple. If this hands were purple. But I think he's right. He's got purple hands. I think he's right that they are bound and I just forgot.

Because I'm so distracted by Clayton. Everything else. Yeah, yeah, exactly. His face is so fucking insane. C. Chris, the game is Spatoon wrote in.

He says started playing Alan Wake recently despite only starting it in like 2014 or 13 was wondering

why it was wondering if any of you all have ever played a game way later than you originally meant to yeah. Yeah, I did the same thing

with that one. Alan. Alan? The first Alan Wake I think I played like. It's like you're going to play some Alan.

It's fucking crazy. Oh me? Yes, I was very late to Skyrim. Oh yeah, that's right. It's right to Skyrim. Yeah, you played it in like

2016, 2017. And it almost took over my life. It was almost reason I mean little to end up together Because of how much I played that game Oh wow Shout of the Colossus for me

Because I played that in like 2013 Did you play the remastered? No I played I did It was like just a version That was available on PS3 at the time Remember when they had that store? That's the one

No Like I don't mean like a full remaster But they up res it Right right yeah No that's not remake You're right yeah It was the What is it?

The ICO The Ico Yes Shout of the Colossus bundle thing And I played that And I think that game came out Like what oh six maybe or 2004 or something?

I first played that game a long time ago. I remember I didn't know like that game at all. And so I was like seven years late to that but I played it on the PS3 and I was still kind of like

well this is crazy actually I was kind of cool to well technically I was late to I was late but I didn't beat it until like 20s Oh yeah I was very late I played a hard game to be I've got a PC for the first time

I think yeah this one when I first played it and I was like yo this game's late as fuck yeah graphics aren't half bad it made me these graphics aren't half bad

It made me miss Dragon Age Origins. Like I get why people get so bummed out about the whole franchise. Yeah. Because it's so different compared to Dragon Age origins, the first one. Because it completely, it changed so drastically to the second one.

And the second one's closer to the third one, which in retrospect, it was fine. But then, you know, it just kept getting. It just kept getting so far away from what it was. You can see, like, BioWare laid the foundation for that,

like, shit, whereas like, it's, um, because I, like Cotor 2, I think 2 is better than 1. Sure. But the problem with 2 is that 2 is missing so much content. It's like, that game is like half of a game. Right. It's the same thing with like Halo 2. Like, Halo 2 and 3 must be one game effectively pretty much. Yeah.

What the hell they're doing with the car? And then Cotor 2, Cotor is like, that game is missing like one fourth of the stories. It's not in it. Yeah, Halo 3 is the end of Halo 2, like stretched out. It's like, what the hell? I don't know, man. I would love to be a fly in a wall at that era of video gaming when it was like They were just making, they were just like genuinely just making shit. Do you think you would have appreciated in that context? Oh yeah.

Me right now. Or do you think you would be like, or do you think you would be too fixated on finding shit to eat? If I, if I had a means to view it as a human. Oh, okay. Not be a legit fly on a wall. Hunting for shit. I don't know. That is what you said.

I just wanted to clarify. You're balls, dude. Yeah, well. another question man I already got out of here we got some voicemails too oh you know what yeah we'll read this one

and then we'll get to the voicemails for shezy for shezy for shezy brought back to fucking woodlawn speaking of being gay if you had to fuck a man in order to save your family for being dipped in molten lava and they would die knowing it was your fault

why are you picking king dead I'm not fucking my dad that's crazy well goodbye crazy Goodbye to your family Why is fucking another guy Goodbye to your family He said I can pick it

And you're like no you can't pick it It's kick dad It's like what the fuck It is really If you had to fuck a man Yeah Like he's I got 10 on my roster easy

Yeah Easily Who's the first man You would fuck The Sabre family Henry Cavill Not gonna dig it down Second

John Boyega Not gonna get down Third Harrison Ford currently Not God God Fuck

Christopher Lloyd currently You're doing missionary Christopher Leonard All right Missionary Christopher Lloyd and staring him in the eyes It's crazy He's great He's got that scientist

He looks like he looks like He looks like he surprised the whole time Here you frame Roger Rabbit The end of his eyes He started to get in Wiley You started licking his eyeballs too Uh fucking hell

No you gotta go with the Twinks man You're all tripping So we're going with Timmy You know think it's funny What's up? Fuck, Christopher Lloyd in his 99-year-old state where he dies probably immediately. What about William Shatner? Have you seen him? Oh, yeah.

He's been performing lately. What's he performing? What's he doing? So he has a metal band. He's a 95-year-old man. He has a metal band. And there is footage circulating of him performing inter-sand-man. It's as bad and as awesome as you imagine.

That's abused to me. It starts off with the intro. I'm like, all right. And then when he comes in, he comes in. He comes off in late and I immediately scrolled up. It was too, I got too much second head embarrassment. It was too much for me to handle. I heard him go, say your prayers.

And I was like, I can't do it. I can't not finish this. Stuff like that bothers because I'm like, that's an elderly person that's like, should just be like, hey. Relaxing. Yeah, I don't know why he's doing it. Spend your last. Hey, man, if you got energy at that age, like I'm fucking tired all the time.

So God bless you. Like you seen Frankie Valley. Yeah. That's crazy, he's how I feel. You know? He might have more energy than I do. He might be out beating us. He might beat me.

He might be beating me. Fucking crazy. I'm not kidding. I'm so tired. That dude is barely alive. Like he's a little bit just a little bit above Mitch McConnell. So Derek, so now take what you know about the two things that have been said. Uh-huh.

and understand how tired I am. Like, take purchase to that and be like, oh, shit. All right. We got some voicemails. I got that chronic fatigue to you, dude. I get, I get it. Yeah, I wake up, I beat my dick four times and I'm real tired. Oh, wow.

You can't figure out of why you're so tired. I don't want to get out of bed now. We got some voicemails from our... Four times in a row. From our patrons over at Patreon or Gomp slash a snart tank. It's a $10 tier, right? $10 tier, yes. Yeah, I think so.

You can call in. I think that's right. You can leave a voice. Stop, don't do that. You can call in and you can leave some advice. You leave a voicemail and we'll give you some advice. We're going to give you real genuine advice. Oh, yeah, that's right.

We turned into an advice column. I forgot that we did that. So if you need advice, call in. We've got a number. We should probably make like a... Maybe that should be the pinned post instead of the question thread. You know what I mean? Yeah, the question does be pinned, I think.

I think you're not wrong, but like also... Can you pin both? That would be nice. I can pin you down. Oh. All right. Well, what's the... What's our voice mail?

So people have gotten the memo. They understand that it's an advice column. But I want to start off with this one, though. Okay. Let's hear it. I think this is a very well thought out, actually. So I'm in college. You know, it's my last year.

going out to the world I'm an English major I'm a good German I'm actually sure what I'm going to do with this I like writing but anyway I guess my question is would you rather fuck your mom or your dad I had to put it on there I was like you fucking piece of shit

what's wrong with you you know what's really fucking sad about that I was really intently listening I saw I was like that's good I have to put it in the fucking shit yeah that has to yeah congratulations I guess my dad

you made guess my dad you made guess my dad. I guess I'd feel less weird about that. Well, first of all, I barely knew my dad. Yeah. I barely knew my dad.

He died when I was four. My mom is dust. So I don't know. I guess I'd be fucking a skeleton. I guess the clarification is that they're fucking alive. They're alive. Yes. So still my dad.

All right. It would be weird because my dad looks like my brother. So it would be like not only my fucking my dad, I'm fucking my brother at the same time. I feel like, yeah, if you're not with your dad, you're like, yo, you up next. I still got more fire in this hole. bro let's go call that that's a Mississippi double right yeah your father and your and your brother that's a 720 split yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna close the window so we can hear a little bit better

no impossible okay never mind all right let's go just get to the next one all right let me let me delete this in real time delete that one just look at that get that one out of here all right so I will say because of um because advice they're a little bit long on average. They're like a minute. They're like a minute on average. Yeah. Well, it's an advice column. Let's hear him out. I was like, hey, I want, I want like, next

time calling about like, hey, how do I increase my dick size, you know? That's like 10 seconds. All right, I'm just let's go. Let's go. You spend your money the way you want you. I'm just kidding. I've been a bit of a, bit of a jam, as you say, right? A bit of a trial

and a tribulation. So I just need your help real quick. So I've been living with my parents for like a I don't know, right? You know, just, you know, I'm, I'm 20, you know. So, I mean, I'm, I'm riding it out as long as I can, you know. But I have an issue where, like, I don't know how to, like, get, like, a right kind of privacy without looking like an asshole. You know what I mean?

No. Because, like, I'm living in their house and they're allowing it. And we're doing good. But sometimes I feel, you know, the two, like, I don't know. I just don't feel like I have like my own kind of privacy in that house. So I don't know. I don't know. Like what is a way of like, am I just overthinking this?

Am I overthinking this? I could be. I know. I just see like a third opinion on this here. So, so yeah. So thanks. So he, so you don't,

you don't have privacy in your, your own home. Yeah. You live with your bitch ass parents. Yeah. Being Hispanic, you don't got privacy in your house. That's just,

it's just not a real thing. I did somehow have privacy. I had some privacy, but there would be times when I'd come in and my show would be moved. That's true. I'm like, that is true. I didn't have autonomy over my privacy. There you go. But I had privacy.

Like I would go somewhere and then I'd come home and my entire room is clean and then like, oh, cool. You threw away that little thing that I had that I had like all my money saved in. Because we thought it was trash. Not looking at it. It's crazy. The idea of picking up and being like, oh, this goes in the guard. Lily is that. Lily is literally that.

And I'm like, Lily, your mom used to. do that. And he's like, oh, it's just, it's up my thing and still throws it away. It's just autopilot. I'm like, why, I, sometimes I'm like, why did your brain not think? Sometimes you're just doing things like an animal. And I say that to be mean on purpose because I want you to remember this shit. I can't talk to her like that anymore. They won't fucking change. They won't not do it where I'm like, I didn't say you had to fucking hit her. But it just be like, hey, I want to insult you because you're literally behaving like our cat. Our cat just does.

does things. It's not thinking. It just does it. I'm like, you're not a fucking cat. Like, just think about it. I want a regional from Digimon. I want a regional competition. Uh-huh. I got a card that was worth. No, no, no, no. I got a card that was worth over $1,000.

Lily opened the fucking package that it was in. And I was like, honey, honey, why did you do that? Because she just thought, because, and granted, there are times I just have packs. I want to hear this. I want to hear this. I have packs on my counter. I'm like, I'm going to open these when I get to these. In her mind, she's like, oh, you're leaving something there.

That's a mess. And I'm like, honey. But why would you open it? Why would you open? I was like, bud, I don't want to be mean to you. I'm trying not to be mean to you. You really fucked my shit up, nigga. You really fucked my shit up.

Did she have she done it again? Did she never do it again? I lost my cool for the one of my eight times was in my cool ever with her. And I was like, dude, you fuck me. You fucked me, bro. It's like some mob shit. You fucked me. You fucked me.

Now I got to put you in the fucking dirt. Now I have to clone you and kill your clone. What if you fucking do you've done this to me? Don't kill the clone. No, yes. To let her know it ain't. The clone didn't do anything wrong. I get it.

You got even punished her. They're not, because they're clones. That's true. It's not illegal. It's not illegal. It's not illegal. But this is for you, though, and not for her. It's to let her know that shit and get grisly. But no, she already knows that you're not going to kill her.

But she's going to have to witness him killing her, which is actually. crazy. That could be traumatizing. That could be pretty strong. We only shotgun knees to the head. It would be traumatizing because it's kind of traumatizing to see anyone die. Well, yeah. But like now knowing yourself. You guys can't lock in.

That's why. Seeing someone die from me is like, oh, interesting. Imagine pulling a prank. You've seen it off. Imagine putting a prank on somebody where, like, you wake them up like when they've gotten no sleep and you kill their clone in front of them. Yeah. And then you immediately knock them out again.

So then you immediately knock them out again. I had a really horrible dream. Yeah. A terrible dream. Oh, when we killed your clone, yeah. So this is what, this was the one way to do with this. guy. He needs some advice, right? Oh, he does need some advice. So, first and foremost, yeah, go.

First and foremost, you're gonna just, you want some privacy, make sure, because it almost sounds like you don't have your own locks on your doors. Yeah. Like, first of all, get the locks on your doors. Get the locks on your doors, sir. Or here's the better idea. Hear me out. Uh-huh. Leave the door open and just masturbate a lot. Let them catch you doing some freak shit. Exactly. If they catch you doing shit that they want, I can, I can,

this never happened to me, but I can imagine. that like if I would if I was a parent right and they didn't have privacy or like they felt like there was a problem and then they just gave up on the notion of privacy altogether I'd be like hey bud we'll get you a door we're a different we're a different breed right yes I sometimes you probably want to be in the living room by yourself too you're like oh they're always in the room I'm just trying to play your PS5's in living room it's not even in your PC's in your room PS5's a living room you want to be in the living room but they're always watching Jeopardy or whatever the fuck. So what you do is you masturbate in the living room But in a way that like they never want to come in again So like say you have the family So don't masturbating the living room in a way That they would want to come in again Let them know like give them like pre-noticed things that like

Oh he's doing that again because he's in there giggling There's a good flin Well the implication The implication of what you said is that there's a very good way to masturbate the living room In a way that they would want to come in still You can stealth it No, I'm saying you traumatize them so much that they're almost afraid to set. Like every time they're in the living room, they now remember you've mastered me.

You put the broom up your ass. You hanged yourself. Right. You fucking cut your heads off. You cut your head and hands off. You wrote a note afterwards. And they're traumatized. They're like, I don't want to come back in here.

I can't watch Jeopardy without thinking about a broom on my son's ass. Imagine doing that by the way. With no hands. Imagine pulling that murder off, by the way. And just to make it really convincing, you put, you cut the hand that's cut off. You have it holding the pen. That's at the end of the note. That's crazy.

I like you set it up and some genius can do it. And also figure out how to wait and cut their head off, cut their head off where there's still enough slack to work and hold on to your neck somehow. That's so. Jesus Christ. You dig the fuck out of that rope into their neck. If we can figure out how to make rockets to go to the moon. We can figure that out. Yes.

how to kill yourself, but also like, you know. I love the idea of NASA scientists are figuring it out. You see like a storyboard of it. It's definitely the B team. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Genuinely, stunningly genius people. And they're like, you got to make this look believable.

We need to, we need to calculate. And we're going to make the next rocket like A team. You're going to make the next rocket to go to Mars and actually be able to come back? Did you say like A team? Yeah, the A team. The A team. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

I forgot what I said. Did it. Yeah, so like, I'm gonna go to place. So, yeah, and then the B team. Yeah. Hey, guys. Hey, guys, you need to figure out how to fucking cut somebody's head off with a rope only a rope. Somebody, we want them to masturbate vigorously with a broom up their ass, hanged, and then also cut their head and hands off and leave a suicide note after they've hanged them shove a brute up their ass.

What do you think the Steve Jobs of that team is? You know what I mean? Like, the visionary? The guy who's like, who is like, who is this dickhead with the turrets? He's like this rope is ineligent. Probably. You need to make it of twine. Yeah, it needs to be a Corinthian twine.

I feel like this would be like, like, I feel like, that's crazy. Nile-Degress Tyson is smart enough to have that job. Yeah. Like, he's not like at the level of like you'd want to have him be on the A team of NASA and build a rocket. Right. But he's like, he is pretty brilliant. He knows what he's talking about.

He'll be, you know, he'll be narrating it. So he'll people will, his voice is very silky and buttery. Yeah. He's got that theme song, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil. Neil, the grass, Tyson, the science, Geisen. New the grass Tyson, the science, Geison. The Geisen. The grass dice on the science geyssen.

That's crazy. When I found he was Puerto Rican, I was like, oh, my God. He's from the Bronx. Of course, he's in New York. He's black. He's black. He's black Puerto Rican. Yeah, this has never happened before once.

It would be crazy. Okay, sorry. Is that it don't exist? Is that it or are we doing that? My experience has made a moment. Is that all the voicemails for today? Let's get one more. One more to do.

Ad reads. The fucking need. If you go to do the name. This guy needs help about, I don't know, a sucking dick or something. All right. Let's hear him out. Let's hear him out. Great.

Hey, guys. Need some advice. I'm 23 years old. I fucked up my body doing manual labor because I had really no better option after I dropped out of high school. But now I'm 23. I've got my GED and I'm trying to find work. I can't really do manual stuff anymore and I live in the Midwest.

Am I cooked? Like, should I just kill myself? Or, like, is there hope for me to find, like, either a job where I can sit down and won't be on my feet a lot? Or do I just need to, like, try to find remote work or, like, I don't know. Do you guys have any flu about what's, going on with that? I mean, should I even ask, I even take advice from Lily at this point. She's got a know. What's wrong with her? I just really need help. He just took a shot at Lily. Even at this point, I would listen to her for one. She's a corporate working woman. I would even

she's like, go to everyone's house and open their card of packs. If you find any open unopened packs open all of them. She literally does any more because of how upset I was. I was. I was. I was so, I was. Why did she do in the first place is what I wanted to know? Because she was just cleaning up. She was like, oh, he's definitely left packs on the hot thing before.

What does that? That doesn't, that's what I mean. No, she was like, oh, it's just like, it's in a thing.

I'm, I'm gonna give her some grace more than I gave her at the moment because I was fucking having a meltdown. Sure. I have definitely, I want to know. I want to know.

I want to, I definitely have left like packs like just on my desk. Okay. And like, obviously like me being myself, I don't clean up my desk all the time. It's never really like bad, but it's like not the most cleanly place. I'm looking to a trade school.

That's also. Hold on. Hold on. No change the phone subject. I'm sorry. I have not, I have not gotten an explanation to why she opened the back. So she opened it.

She was like, oh, is this here? And it was a, it was a. Is this here? It's a crazy question. Is this here? There's only two people living in the place. But it's, it was a seat through pack. It wasn't like, it wasn't like a sealed pack of like, oh, X, Y, Z.

It was a visible part of a visible card on it. Did she ever explain why she opened it? She was like, oh, I thought you were just going to leave it there. So I was going to open it and then reduce clutter on your desk. No, what is the opening of it? What does that mean? Because she wanted to open it and put it in one of my boxes. Like, oh, it's sealed in one of your boxes.

It's like not to say a card, a pack of cards. It takes up the same amount of space sealed or unsealed. But she thought it fit better in one of my boxes that I have my cards in if it was open and placed in there. So she was in her mind she was helping. I'll accept that even though it's crazy. In her mind, she was helping. In my mind, I was. screaming. Of course. I accept it. It's just like if you opened up my mail, I'd be like, brother, you know, you're, that's just not why you open it. You know, I'm calling the cops. Like, like, Jojo gives me my mail. If she gave it to me opened, I'd be like, what are you doing? Like, even though like it's, there's nothing there. There are some, the principal. I have some bogus fucking insurance bills that I'm not going to pay because fuck them. Do I got fucking, I went to, I went to the fucking, uh, the cardiologist. Oh, nice. Just.

a consultation to set up an appointment. I love those. And my insurance for some reason rejected it. And then I got a fucking almost $400 bill. And I called them. I was like, why did they reject it? And I was like, they're like, I don't know. You want to set up a payment plan?

I was like, I'm not giving you a fucking dime. And I hung up. I don't give a shit. I went to a cardiologist. They checked me for a second. They were like, oh, you're perfectly fine. I didn't even get. Over $1,000.

Over $1,000. fucking dollars. This is the thing about it. And I literally put my head under my bed because I was so upset. That's the thing about, uh, you know, American healthcare, man. Is that like, it's, it's, it's so, it's so, it's so disincentivized to keep tabs on your health. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Because like, why the, because if I go, there better be something fucking wrong. Yeah. Because if there isn't, then I'm cheated. You know, I've, I've, I just spent a thousand dollars to do what I would have done anyway, which is to just know that I'm fine. Yeah. And, uh, that, uh, that, could have gone to like a million other things.

That would have served me better being invested somewhere. It's on purpose. I know. Of course. It's on purpose. But it bothers me that so many people. AI to reject more claims. That's right.

It's, I don't know, man. It just bothers me. Yeah. Okay. But, so to the guy.

Genuine, I don't know. Like, I think manual labor is kind of, I mean, that is kind of like the bread and butter out there. For sure. Or at least,

based on my conceptual understanding of where you're at. Um, Listen, electrical work, man. Electric work, because, like, that's one of the few things to where you don't really have to, like, carry heavy shit. You're usually just working with wires, typically. Yeah. Typically, you can do a trade, a two-year trade easily. Make a ton of money to be an electrician.

They make a ton of money. It also doesn't change vastly, too. That's the biggest reason why it's such a safe field. Yeah. It doesn't alter. Like, refrigeration, electricians. They usually have a very solid field. I would say maybe even potentially going back to school, bud.

Well, if you have the means to do so. I would do a trade rather than... I would do a trade, yeah. And just don't put your dick in the wires, I think you'll be fine. Because that's the one thing that, like... That's the one thing most electricians... You're supposed to do that. Most electricians really fuck up on this minor thing.

Yeah. Ten things that they don't tell first year electricians. Yeah, I watched it on Watch Mojo. Right, yeah, exactly. Welcome to watch Mojo. I've watched Mojo. The top ten things electricians shouldn't do. Number one, put your...

Or number two, put your dick in there. First day out of the feet. the first thing he did is. He goes up somewhere. He's almost static shock. And he's like, he's like, die. He just gets it.

He's like, oh, like in fucking Home Alone 2. Oh, oh, I love that scene. Yeah, it's a great scene.

I love when they're getting dirt. He's a skeleton for a moment. Yeah, yeah, he is. I love that they're the implications that they're immortal. Yeah.

They should have been dead many times over. It is a fun. It's like they died immediately. and the rest of the shit's a like a dream. It's a deaf spiral, their brain going through shit. It's their brain like cycling through schizophrenic delusions. Yeah.

So do that. Yeah, get the trade or there is the other thing is there's a lot of women that are probably into hard drugs and sex works. So then you just get a ring together and control them. Oh, okay. Control them, make some money. Well, we're going to go to the names.

Look, Andrew Tate has. We're going to get to the names now. Or here's my second. Here's my third. option. Yeah. Just make it really uncomfortable for people around you when you're masturbating so that you get your privacy. You get...

Go on top of electric bosses and master me on top of electric bosses. You should do that. Give them a nice coating. It'll make it last forever. Right, right. You seal it with calm. That there is a chance that that has happened. There's a great chance, a non-zero chance that someone has done that.

Just like a great chance. Non-zero. zero. I know. It's a great chance. I was like, let me, let me correct this a little bit. He levied it back a little bit. All right. Yeah. Let's, uh, well, with that out of the way, remember you call in, uh, leave your, leave your, I guess not your advice, but like.

Leave advice. Yeah. Well, it's not quite, ask for advice in the fucking phone number. Write your, write your names for me to read at the end of the show. Our $25 dollar patrons get their names right at the end of the show. Patreon. Icom. That's a Star Tank, early access, ad free exclusive episodes, all that jazz. So come on over there. Count me down for the $25 and up tier. Three, two, one.

Women's boxing, you mean lesbian foreplay. Alabama, mean boy, huff and puff, the asthma dragon. If I spin that dreidel up, is you going to Tel Aviv? Kirk, you don't, Kirk didn't listen to the Wutang Clan, Destiny 2, the revival of vaulted content. That's fucking stupid. That is, why have I not heard that before? You didn't protect his knife, man. I must have heard that before and I just forgot.

Yeah, I guess so. That's a solid one. That's a good one. Destiny 2, the revival of vaulted content. Yeah, they're bringing back that old vaulted stuff from Destiny 2. That's cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, that heard that's cool. It's too late for me.

It's been literally 10 years. I'm done. I've been crying. Yeah. I'm not getting anything from it. Dick, bury me under cream, every inch of my ass, rips, sweens, nose off, and decry it, like Mr. Meedy. Oh, that's fucking mudvane.

Oh, maybe. Dick, Dick, Barry. me under crea i like good nice lesbian locust time traveling demons sam high jean gray watching frank's family getting murdered uh rip mark what are those punches is that how you punch do i saw a guy on instagram like kind of tell people to throw punches like that and upset me greatly what well because the guy was like anybody who would listen to that deserves to learn how to punch that way dude i swear this guy had a bunch of it went pretty viral and he was like oh what you want to do is you want to keep it in really tight and you want to do it like you're kind of emptying a cup like you want to twist like

you're like throwing a cup and he was like trying to keep it really tight like this so you couldn't telegraph it and I'm like that's no power so you're not telegrafting your jab but it's not going to do anything other than if you're trying to create space or something but like the way he was doing it he was like you're trying to do and I'm like that's not you I was like it made me so mad that I think advanced fighters I saw a bunch of people in the comments useful technique I saw a bunch of being in the comments like oh I've never thought about that and then my thing was I'm like watch your favorite fighter and see if he does that.

Don't listen to those people. That's advanced fighter technique. That's like shit. That's like shit is like if you're... It's cum technique. I watch the most advanced fighters in the world that are that are champions. Yeah, but it's like... If they're not doing that, don't fucking do that.

Like no regular person's going to use that. Like you're not, don't tell a guy that's going to be able to be able to pace and know you're... That's very true. But also, I'm just saying I would rather you emulate champions. I'm just saying it's the best when there's a fucking... Do it John Jones does poke niggas in the eye, kick them in their oblique heart as shit.

I completely agree. If you're in a street fight, do that. All right. Rip Marcus. If I got a prostitute missionary, then eight her out. That's crazy. Watch Majin Bobby Hill, stuffing Lady Bird with charcoal.

That's cool. Ed Shearin, be like I'm in love with the state of Jew. Not bad. Not bad. That's not bad. The dumb slut getting dummy thick on mac and cheese, Miramara on the wall. Show me torture cock and ball.

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Mr. Barry A. is you dumb slut, a.o. Andy Worski versus Andy Peeski. Stupid. That's so stupid. My sexy time playlist is just chakaron by El Chambi. Bumbo on repeat. Valid. I'll suck your dick,

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and don't understand clones. Princess Daddy needs his heinous Poetwaps white now. Cursing Kingston with knowledge of the perfect BJ. Who shit on my... Who shit on my dick? I'll fucking kill you.

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murder. Joseph Stalin claiming the mental responsibility. Girl, I'm going to take you to Walmart, the Sydney Zoo. Jeffrey O'Rexstein,

taking the kids. Oh, taking kids, nice. Jiu Jiu Kizen. Is it Jew? Jiu Jiu Jetsu Kajzen starring Jiu Israel to Dori. Oh my God.

I don't like that. I love J.J.Kays. One of my favorite ones. Bacterial Forever War Between Sweens, many skinfolds, Ronnie Radke's raped Rumpus. Rape Rampus. There he is.

He's such a dude. He's such a dude. Ha-ha fart left, get it? We didn't even talk about that. J.D. Vance is saying. fart left. Did you see that? No. He said yes, I did say that. I called them the fart left. Oh, instead of the far left? Yeah. I don't normally misspeak. But I did then. It's the worst. I never heard that. There's no charisma. There's no charisma. Even the things that he does that

suck, don't even make the waves. That's why I'm like, I can't like, when, when it happens, when it finally happens, like this guy has no motion. I don't, I'm not worried about him at all. I'm more worried about fucking Tucker Carlson running. Yeah. I don't have a good win it though, but yeah. Beds are low-key kind of slept on. Dutch O'Low and the Vanderbue gang beating Mosh and Maja. Are on Thomas Massey's nuts. Matt Walsh?

Moderates. Plays. I don't realize that he's a fucking chud-through and do except for like two issues. Pragmana one hand. Scares me. In between. Fis so deep turned that bitch into a Muppet. Arthur Morgan finding out that he's the dragon born, the snark tank's resident V-tuber.

It's awesome. That's crazy. Well, we got to go kill out. Ous Roda. Rodos. Ours Roda blows Lenny off his horse. I'm sorry, Lenny. Lennie's bad to go up to the gray beards again.

Micah. Yes. Micah becomes a dark assassin. Does he kill Parthanax or no? Do you think he would? Yeah. It would be Michael. I got him.

Oh, he was totally. Yeah. Slits his throat. He's the fucking throat. Get him. Is that a fucking... Wait, what are they called again? That's that a flame atriarch?

Art, what the hell? Move out. Ah! He's like, damn atriots everywhere. You gotta believe in me. You gotta believe in me. Jack's fighting a giant and losing. A giant hits him and he goes flying over in the sky.

I love that. When I first saw that, I was like, what? He's flying into orbit. He's like, he's a lot. If it looks like Superman had a context But he's not surviving He may already be dead To me

Because I thought that was a part of that was supposed to happen And they said that wasn't Yeah, it's just like the rigid The intense rigidity of the ground Meeting the force of the And I was like Just making it just bouncing Isn't that crazy?

I was like wait You guys didn't program this purposefully. Because I've been killed. I was like, I didn't get killed by a giant for a long time. And then I eventually got killed. Oh, when you flew through it yourself. I was like, what the fuck is going on? First time I saw it was when my companion got hit.

Yeah. The first lady you meet. I can't remember her. Yeah. Yeah. And she would. Remember when Jalen when she just fell back in a frame one day? Yeah.

Jaylon was playing. Jailan like lost Lydia for a while. He was just playing. All of a sudden, Lydia fell down into frame from the sky. I do weirdly remember. That's a very thing. In November somebody else's Skyrim played, I was like, what the fuck happened?

That's awesome. He used to play as a, what was he called him, guy? The guy that just had the only gollets. He would call him a guy. He played a category that's a cheat that just hit people with his air. He maxed out heavy armor so he can just punch people. I don't know. Why not?

Chris, the game is Splatoon. Stocktank's resident V-tuber. Round-eyed agent coding the floor with Criscoe. Episode 435 was Derek's Fresh and Fit audition. Brandy's home for the criminally endowed, P.P., Queen of Fap Hazard, Patreon's character limit sucks. Wolverine, but his claws are just more fingers. Hell yeah, dude.

And then it wraps and it's a wrap down over. That's so gross. He has a super compact punches though. They're not even particularly longed either. It's just like three normal length fingers. Just poking you in the eye. It's just like you tickles you. He can type really quick though.

Oh, he would. Maybe. You'd get double the work done. That's so stupid. Rip Mike. Rip Mike McFarland, aka Maseroshi, that's true. Oh, yeah. That's a piece.

R-A-P. Can I get a happy birthday? Happy birthday, man. Happy birthday, nigga. Happy birthday, brother? I got to blow my nose. Yeah, go ahead. I miss Sweenbott.

Just, just sit there. I miss Sweenbott. The opposite of Fuda is cuntboy. Thugzilla versus Sony's greed. Four swing-set glitch G-T-A. Israel is spiritually lesbian. turning point u.s gay amelia the chosen one this way up v insomnia so bad i'm tempted to try

fent super super intelligence miss a love dick uh canola canola jo resurgent the shotgun of jap hazard the show gun of jab hazard god god hell you're like asshole sorry uh and d'a tom cruz and jamy fox sexy and collateral sorry i can i had a burrito heath got teeth pulled now drinking Bledd Big Macs. Gids. What did the gamer say to the penis? Cogina Hideo. What is that?

I don't know. I'm just reading. Tarzan butt-fucking gorilla garage to death. Is the game you're thinking of Destiny 1? Many men wish breast upon me. I don't know whatever fuck you. A shotgun wedding, but I have it in my mouth. Chris get Hunter Biden on the pod to talk Destiny.

He did that weird one thing. He played Destiny? No, but he was on that show with Matan, that kid. Oh. And he was asking him if, like, you could beat Hillary Clinton and Destiny 2 Crucible, no stasis, obviously. And he said yes, but I don't think he understood the question. Fuckface Unstoppable, cardboard pie, cum nut butter, extra ammo idea, dark tank D&D featuring DM Micah. The V-Tuber who watched Homoleen is in Fortnite now.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's Iron Mouse, right? Is Chris Brown secretly a lesbian? LR, N S-S-J-4, Vigida. He probably got his ass beat by a dude recently, and it's like, well, awesome. You see, when it's not a woman, you're not as invincible, huh, Christopher?

What do you mean? He apparently got his ass beat by a dude. Who? Chris Brown. Oh, well, yeah. So, dude beat the shot of him. And it's like, of course. Who do you want to land?

Earthwind and Dick, I remember, and runs, I say, hey, dance, and hey, hey, dance, dance. Oh, God. Dance. Oh, still sin. So Jordan Peterson is dead, right? Mr. Jimmy Jam, Flatbush.

Franklin, Dave Rubin said, scratch my back now I have AIDS you are morally obligated to rape Josh what what's worse than being black nothing Maycar Star Coffee the other V-tuber Chris is Sweeney's Lilano Butterboy putting analog cigarettes out on robot dogs you should aggressively reverse

robbing the needy at gunpoint What happened? You all right My glasses explode Did a piece of you fall off? What the fuck? Oh you have like the clip on You have the clip on that really fucked with me for a second Oh yeah yeah yeah

It's like how does it come I'm thinking about getting those getting a clip-ons. Do I need them, man. Like, my stigmatism sucks, dick. So that's why like- Does yours bother you in a daytime? Quite a bit. Mine fucks with me really bad at nighttime.

I need to find, I was actually trying to do some research on the, like, to get like, you know, like one of the covers, the softener. Yeah. Because that's the main reason why I wear them in here. Not because I think I'm fucking cool. Huh?

You have stigmatism? I don't know what the fuck I have. My eyes are just shit. They don't think they've ever said anything about insignism to me. Like literally every time I see a light, it looks like a fucking. star.

Sure. Yeah. That doesn't happen to me. For me, it looks like snowballs. Cool. It's actually crazy. I wish I could describe. I wish I could like record what I see directly so people understand like what it's like exactly

what it's like. That's crazy. It looks like a supernova. It looks like every light, especially in the dark, looks like a big snowball. And then sometimes I can like close my eyes and then like it'll shrink, right? A little bit. And then I'll open it again and then there's a line in the light. from where my eyelids were.

It's fucking weird. You remember what it looks like how Daredevil sees in the movie with Ben Affleck? Yeah. That's with him without the glasses. The sonar shit. Yeah,

where it's all kind of fiery. It looks all like kind of Hades. You remember that? It feels like. From the movie? Metroid is hungry. Ben Affleck one. I don't remember it well.

Hamas, it's all fire. It looks like, yeah. It looks like he's in hell essentially. It's kind of down, actually. Hamas, the plane engine. Derek's parody of Shaq's song is gas. It's your boy. Oh shit.

I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. We got to rape Pete Parsons. Ak Rock is it's true. Gotty guy finished second row moving on the Zelda Breath of the Wild. Why don't homeless people just go back home?

Why don't homeless people just go back home? That's a good question. I like that. It's good. Breaking news. U.S. Senator Litch McConnell has obtained the boat the high in hand of Vecna. Toho is pronounced Toho. Indiana Jones.

Indian Jones. Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Fart. I like that. Dick so dirty. They call me Richard Nixon making a piss tribute of Swin. Kremlin to Gremlin. Dominican Bruce Wayne. Minobot, Bobby Minobot.

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a little. Guys, stop. Chill with all this shit. Okay. Slushy scout trying to catch up on the snark tank. Sween the type of guy to marry himself. Keepers, creepers, dude. Timberly Bevin and Kenjuman writing Bichols. I don't know. Resident Evil has

great black comedy moments. Das Goopy, smooth off. A lot of black folk dying, Resident Evil. Oh my God. They do. What are you saying? A lot of people die as evil In pretty funny ways What are we talking about?

White guy in a black In a black Jesus shirt at the club Smooth off is not the kind of blown you want That's goopy I think I really read that one Monkey Monastery Gucci Gang My Gooches gang My Goochers gang green

Ask Norman Osborne What's the 15th letter of the alphabet Oh Hades is just reversed Diablo Zoron yelling changed now To a 10 year old boy on 9-11 Dick apparently not dirty enough to wake you up. That's crazy.

Derek's wrong and insufferable easy mode idea. I don't know what that means. I don't remember. I don't remember either. Ha-ha Marathon is dying. Oh, it's probably about like... The brainworm... You can play easy mode and it wouldn't affect your gameplay?

Oh, maybe. Because, like, you know, why would it? The brainworm begging for release from its prison. I cast double the amount of piss in your bladder. Sorry, Miss Jackson. Ethereum has the past because he took a loss of his hard ass. Perjurian hunter officially has a daughter. Frying bacon with my shirt off.

Benjamin Betten All hands on Dick Nafram and rounding out our list As always the king of haphazard The Kong of Hoop Hoosard We will see you guys next time Peace out Goodbye

Bye guys I said a wave of thumb All right That's so hot