The Snark Tank - #47: Untitled Nightmare

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

This is a rollercoaster and a nightmare. Derrick awakens his inner sexist pervert? Jake Paul vs Floyd Mayweather? Normies milking OnlyFans for sex worker clout? Do gorillas have inner monologues? Should gorillas have access to steroids? How common do surgeons leave surgical equipment inside people? Can humans smell ants? Would you pay for Efukt? I would! This unnecessarily horny episode is brought to you by Kersti Kaljulaid, The President of The Republic of Estonia. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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First and foremost Logan Paul and Floyd Mayweather Have been singing shots back in four or five people Each other actually, not people Oh, just getting right into a fucking They just started fighting each other, fighting people? No, they just started talking shit And like, Logan Paul is telling Floyd Mayweather he can't spell his name and he's making fun of him.

Now, I would love to see Floyd Mayweather, possibly one of the greatest boxes of all time, put Logan Paul in a fucking wheelchair for the rest of his life. I think that should be fucking hilarious. I mean, here's the deal. He won't put him in the, he won't whoop the shit out of him, like, say, in a way that you would see a heavyweight beat the shit out of Logan Paul. but he would fatigue the fuck out of him and then he would just work him until they would wave it off. Derek, he could absolutely knock him unconscious. I...

He could undoubtedly, because Logan Paul, Floyd Mayweather is... He may be more defensive. Don't get me wrong. He is the greatest defensive box ever seen in my life. Of course. I would say that without a doubt. But he, when he fought, what does name? When he fought not...

Is Delahoya? No, not Delaware. What's the name of the Mexican guy, the red-haired one? that's currently Oh, Canelo. Canelo Avarez. What he fought? Canelo, bro, he was fighting him.

He wasn't just running away from him. Yeah, I mean, he can fly. I mean, he can fly, bro. He could, I mean, he can fight, bro. It's just, it's, it's not in his best interest since Logan Paul is a big nigg. He's a, he's a big guy. He's a big guy. And, uh, but the, but it's, let's just be real here.

It's, they're just looking, um, if this money, whether were to do it, it's just for a paycheck, obviously. And, um, and Logan Paul, the same thing. Because Logan Paul knows he can't beat me. He knows he can beat me with her. That's idiotic, dude. Yeah. You know, say, you talk and shit, the Ronda Rousey.

Like, I can talk shit all I want. I know when I gain everything with her, she's going to beat the living fuck out of me. You know what? I don't know, man. I feel like her. She'd fuck me out, bro. She's jujitsu, bro. She's all jujitsu.

Yeah, but she can't toss you, bro. She can't, she's like, she's like, what? Is she banned some weight? She's like 135. Well, she's probably, like, walking around 150. He's 150. She's 150. She's probably like, I'm talking about outside of her.

She's probably walking around 150 pounds. Do you think a 150 pounder could toss you? I think if I threw a punch or kick something like that, I did some fuck shit. Like, I know how to throw a proper kick. I might not be able to do any more. Are you telling me a little woman could beat you? Is that what you're telling me? She probably just knocked me out.

Oh my God. Dude, that, yeah, that's why, that's why actual real boxers beat the shit out of her back to back. And then she left to go play fake rest. wrestling. Hey, I love WWE, but we all know what's fake. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. But what to call it? Like, she, she can definitely fight. She can fight her. She was a grappler. She was a jiu-of-course. She was jujitsu. Like, that was her thinking of the because I'm not mistaken. Like, if it gets to the ground, you pretty much lost your fight against that graphia relatively the same size of her. You see, look, I don't, I don't, I don't care about

that. Because, look, it, all you got to do is just, you know, call her sweetheart, whisper some sweeten-s and you disowned her. She's a woman. That's so disrespectful. I don't know, like, what do you even- disrespectful? So the female sex, that's so rude that you just said, all you got to do is give her food, give her some chocolates and show her your dick. And she's fucking over the moon with you. She's disturbed. She's tapped out already. I mean, I don't even know what's all this thing about women and fighting. Like, you know what I think you should be fighting is to fucking fight the time to get my casserole out before I'm done with my work.

You know what I mean? Just make sure you're fucking done. You're not even good at being sexist, bro. That's how fucking alien is to see your brain You're just bad at it You're like Let me just try to make up some shit to say I don't know

Yeah I it's I try man I try but The the instinctual part of me comes out and wants to But it's been it's gone man It's gone I like you say I love making fun of women bro I love it it it's funny it's easy They got so much against them

You know it's actually kind of sad But at the same time I have to show them respect because if I wasn't fucking pussy a lot of dudes would be very upset with their day because I'd be aggrowing man I'm not being respectful to a dude at all

What do you mean if you weren't? What does that mean? If I wasn't, if I wasn't I'd be fucking dudes What does that do for anybody else? I don't do anything for anybody. I don't care about anybody else You just said like

Do you say you'd be fucking dudes? I mean if there was no women around What would I be fucking? I would be fucking cats and dogs and shit and you fucking other dudes dude. See, that is literally prison.

They're like, oh, there's no fucking chicks around by as well what are you expecting to come on. Let's be real, Derek,

you're talking shit about you don't know the struggle. Make a good pocket pussy out of some cinnamon rolls or some shit. Symmy rolls. You know what I'm talking about Chris,

right? You know the old cinnamon roll you put it in the microwave for 35 seconds. Oh my, 30 seconds. It gets way too hot.

35 seconds, you're going to graft something to yourself. 36 seconds, and it's way too hot. It has to be as hot as possible. Bro. 10 seconds is too hot. I ever put a donut in the fucking microwave for, like, more than 10 seconds? You can withstand 35 seconds. You got to really want to be 36.

No, you fucking can't. You can't withstand 35 seconds. You cannot withstand 35 seconds. 35 seconds. Chris, if you put a Pillsbury fucking donut in a fucking microwave for 30 seconds, I bet you can fuck it if you really wanted to fuck it. Kingston. You're just not built.

You're not built to do that, Chris. Do you understand what a microwave does? Chris, I understand that you, you can't do it because you don't have the will to fucking animate things. Oh my God. But I know myself. I know what I've been. I know what I've done.

I, you're right. I don't have the will to fucking animate things. That is exactly correct. I have definitely, I've not done this. I've definitely heated up fucking water balloons Put fucking gel inside of them And fucked water balloons, bro All right

Is that what? How does that work? It hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot, but it's worth it. That sounds way more complicated than it's worth. You put it, you get a balloon,

you get a, you get a used roll of paper towel. You get a balloon, right? You stretch it over it. And you put Vaseline on the inside and you tape the very end to the other end of the, To the other end of the tom. How old are you when you're doing this?

I was just about to ask that. 14, 15. Are you sure it's not like six weeks ago or something? It's some Kevin McAllister shit, bro. You got to really want it. Fucking during COVID. The first month of COVID when I didn't see my girlfriend. I got,

I got to fuck some. I'm going to get these water balloons. Bro, I really. With a ton of water balloons. I think you're desperately underestimating the power of a microwave, but. I think you're desperate to estimating a power of yourself.

Bro, do you understand that there's a microwaves, there's a part, this is a real thing, there's a piece, a component of a microwave called a magnetron. Like something out of fucking, something out of, something out of, transformers. Yeah, it's like a fake fucking thing. That's like something you find at the center of fucking, at the center of Optimus Prime. That is ridiculous shit. And you're going to put something in there for 35 whole ass radioactive seconds and try to fuck it until you, until what? What? Until you fucking, you plan to game from that.

Yo, you're fucking opening. You're going to be grafted shut at that point, dude. No, it's not, bro. You don't have the willpower to do it, and you're scared. And your fear, you're projecting it on everybody else, Chris. But one day you're going to be strong enough to fuck that 35-second cooked fucking cinnamon roll. And you'll know no love. You got to be strong enough to do it or weak enough to need it.

You know? I'm both. I'm simultaneously both the same time. Jesus Christ. What did this even start off with Logan Paul fighting? Oh, yeah. Logan Paul fucking cinnamon rolls and, and whether they're watching it. I don't know jack shit about...

35 seconds works, man. You can do it. Maybe they start the training regimen. Start to use 35 second cinnamon rolls. You're going to injure so many people. They're going to feel like, I'm going to try 35 seconds. I don't care. I don't care.

I'm all going to do is enlighten people, though. Yeah, definitely don't do that. Definitely if you want to do it, but don't blame me whatever happens. I mean, I would never, I would never recommend fucking. food in the first place, but if you have to, I would say no longer than 10 seconds. I can't imagine like, dude, I put a donut in the microwave for like 10 seconds and it's fucking piping hot. The fuck are you talking about? To me, okay. My hands are so callous that it doesn't hurt me anymore. Oh, okay. But, but what about your fucking penis? That is it. My penis, too.

What the fuck you mean? You got problems, man. Imagine having penis calluses? You got, what the fuck are you doing? What are you? calluses. Can you even get that? Jacking off so hard. The person who just recommended you fuck something after it's been in a microwave for 35 seconds is curious as to what someone could possibly be doing to their

dicks. To get penis calluses? I feel like your penis grows and changes size so much that if you get penis coulaces, it would just be fucking ripping you. I feel like it doesn't do that. All right. I don't even want to imagine that. Yeah, this is... I don't think it happens. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration

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this one time. What? Yeah, because I was trying to hurry up and take a piss until, you know, back when commercial... You were watching TV and shit? You're trying to fee so hard that you bruise, you...

No, no, no, no, no. Let me finish. Let me finish. That's not a thing. That's not a fucking thing. You fucking burst it so hard like the blast that it bruised your dick. Your dick was bent the wrong way.

That's not a thing. No, no, no, no. I... Fuck, I... I zipped the... Just past the head like the what do you call it the shaft I zipped my fucking

shaft dude the top of it because I was trying to I was like shaking real quick and then I zipped it up and it hurts so much that I didn't want to get I didn't want to take it away immediately because

dude it was just too much and it was too shocking you know how you have to back it up but it's I was too like what you know you zip it up and you heard you see snags you gotta go down and rezip no see but this one it was snagged on you Yeah, it got my skin. It got it.

And I was just like, oh, it was like a mild version of fucking, what was that? There's something about Mary. It was like a similar situation where I actually got some shit caught up in there. And, hey, our boy, shout out to Keith David. He played Mary's fucking stepdad in there. So, well. Keith David is an ever-present force here. He is.

Did I say this on the podcast that, like, while I was flying home from New York, The guy next to me was watching a movie and Keith David was in it. You know, like I look to my left and his face in like 4K was just like staring back at me and I felt I felt safe. You know, usually when I'm on a plane, I feel like I'm about to die like at every given moment. Like I've resigned. I resign my faculties or my right to life the second I get on a plane because I'm like, if this thing goes down, there's like nothing I can do. I just accept it. Whatever happens happens.

You're gone. But, you know, you see Keith David's face in the middle of a flight and you just know. everything's going to be okay you're like even if I don't make it I know that I saw you in the end and you welcome me into the kingdom of everlasting love yeah it's technically the most it's technically the last familiar face I would see before you fucking would be Keith Dave would be Keith David that scenario okay so before okay Eric finish your story about you using your penis because I have a hilarious thing that I found out which is fucking is this unbelievable oh man

I mean there isn't much to it I just I think I finished my show before I unzipped it because I was... You went, sat down with your dick zipped in something? Bro, you don't understand. When you zip your dick, it's a whole other... What the hell is wrong? You can't just back it up, man. Yes, you can.

No, no, it's scary. It definitely is scary to back it up because I definitely zipped my fucking chin before. Like, chosipping up a hoodie and I'm like... All right. I thought you meant when you're taking a piss. You're like sucking a piss. You're like sucking some dick. You're sucking your own dick or something.

You're like I'm finished and then he cut your chin. No, man. It was what it was definitely, I was pretty fucking young. I had to have been probably in middle school or something. So it terrified me that like I'm going to rip my dick if I back it up or something. But I just ended up having a fucking bruise on my dick, which was so. No. Unfortunately.

Every time that's ever happened, every time that, every time I've ever zipped my skin, I am it's almost immediately like a panic mode sets in where it's like I rewind like rewind do the exact opposite of what you just did it's like uh it's it's like the fucking Xbox record that feature where it just goes back oh my 20 seconds it's have you ever have you

completed your zipper going up that's the thing like what do you mean what are you talking about you kept going you don't understand it caught a piece of my skin it was the zip smashed my fucking skin that's what I was like afraid if I backtrack it I'm just going to fucking, it's like going to tear or something. Like, it went up. Bro, I can't even, I can't even conceptualize what this is.

It got a fine piece of my skin, a very fine piece. And you know what a zipper does? It connects like this as you zip it up. So it just pinched, pinched my skin, and it was fastened. And I was freaking out. How did you do that? What the fuck were you doing? You were playing with your dick in the zipper at the same time.

You're playing Russian rule up with the zipper. You fucking zip your dick, didn't you? If my dick was hard, man, that wouldn't have. happened. It wouldn't have been. There wouldn't have been enough fucking, there wouldn't have been enough slack. It was, I was just irresponsible, man. Like, I just, that's fucking, that is Captain Irresponsible. That is like, Primo, like, absolute, like 100% Captain America levels irresponsible. You're Emperor irresponsible, bro. I survived. I'm a fucking survivor, dude. That's fair. Okay. So, one more story before you get off the facts of penises. So, um, I was, so, again, it had to be fucking smoking. But we were talking in one of our, we were having to talk, right?

And she was like, dude, look at this. And it was some dude who had, um, so there's a condition where your penis is tilted upward. Like a, like one of those little tiny dog's tails. Right now with Ram Trucks Declaration of Deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for three 69 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra.

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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter

and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 5.

9 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Oh, no. His dick was just pointing upward like this. What does that mean? His dick was facing up. His dick erects fucking like a dog's tail, man. Like, oh, oh. And he had to get surgery, he had to get, like, treatment to get his dick the face down. Oh, my God, that's so sad. It looked like a fucking Pomeranian, or it looked like a pug's tail.

That's really, that's not idea. It was funny. Let me ask you something. There's, I can't get this out of my mind. I've been thinking about it for the last, like, week and a half since I've heard it. I heard recently. What? That some people...

I talked to you about this already, but I want to hear Derek's perspective on this because I can't conceptualize this. I heard that some people can smell ants. No. I swear to you. When did you talk to me about this? We talked about this in the living room.

You were just too stupid to remember it. We were talking about... No, Chris. I never spoke. We probably spoke to Joe or James on it. No, we were all in the living room. It was during one of Joe's streams. You came out and we were talking about it. everybody everybody literally everybody was here you walked out and you said that's ridiculous

i think i auto i feel like i i deleted it out of my brains how stupid it is yo yeah i was just like oh no you can't smell ants that's fucking dumb right that's what i saw that can i smell ants yo look go ahead google google can people smell ants i feel like i might be able to do that who said that strange i don't remember who told it to me because like i think my my brain auto corrected them out of my life But it was like... Can you smell ants? But these strong odors are small fractions.

Why can some people smell ants? Here's the answer. There's like this weird thing where apparently... I bet I know. What do you mean? What do you bet you know why? No, like say the theory of why... They have a lemony smell when they're crushed.

I have never... Do you remember when we had that ant problem for like that day and we were like crushing ants left and right? I smelled nary a lemon. Not a single lemon. You didn't care. That's why. Your white man rage took over and all you know is you were destroying things.

Yeah. I couldn't smell them. I think certain ants, and this is true, certain ants have certain diets. And if you do crush them, they will admit a specific aroma. Especially if you have enough of them around or something. I don't think you're crushing any. I don't think you're crushing enough ants at all as a person to smell. them really well i'm saying if there's like a specific type or something that like oh they have

this type of diet you know what i'm saying i'm just saying if some people i think that that could be a line that can make sense like that train of thought could lead it to it making sense look i'm trying to rationalize if there's enough i don't know how many people have claimed this i'm saying if there's enough of there there's enough people claiming that they smell ants i'm saying here's what i'm thinking but i imagine it's a very small amount of people in billions of people in the fucking world and they're just insane. They're crushing jumbo ants. They have to be crushing like jumbo ants.

No, this is, this is like one of those like fucking, oh, cilantro tastes like soap things, right? Where some people can taste it as like soap and some people taste it as like normal cilantro. No, but this is this is the same vein where it's like, when I first heard that, I was like, what the fuck you talking about? Saloncho tastes like cilantro. It doesn't taste like soap, soap, soap? Saloncho tastes like soap. I don't like soap. I like cilantro.

So here's the thing. I never associated with soap, but. Solancho, when it hits my tongue, it's a very too powerful of a citrusy, because you know, it's a mint, right? Yeah. And it, like, it just does not taste good to me at all. Like, say, when I, when there was two, like, I think it was Del Taco and it was fucking Chipotle, where they mixed cilantro in their rice. And I'm like, I can't fucking eat your rice. What the fuck are you doing?

Like, I can't, like, I would love to eat cilantro. I grew up around Mexicans that put cilantro and onions in their tacos And I'm like I'm sorry I can't have it It fucking makes me like go Does it taste like I never I never associated with soap I never was like I've eaten soap I've eaten soap I've eaten cilantro They don't taste it the same thing at all But apparently there is people that they say it tastes like soap

I never I think I fall in that category But it never seemed like soap to me It's just a very potent thing that I can't enjoy When the leaf touch the leaf to my tongue tongue and I immediately want to brush it off. So, I'll be like, that's just chimpanzee shit, dog. That's like a-brain stuff, that it touches your tongue and you immediately wipe it off. Ants are known.

Ants are known to have a distinctive odor of formic acid, but only some people can smell it. Most people say it smells quite lemony or citronella-like, while one species smells like blue cheese. I can't even conceptualize this. I feel like... The amount... Go ahead. I just feel like it...

You could crush ants in my nose, and I feel like I wouldn't smell them. You know, like, they're so odorless to me that, like, I don't even... It's wild. Probably. I had a friend, I had, like, somebody tell me, he's like, yeah, yeah. Some people could just, like, fucking, you know, they'll go into a building and they'll know that it has ants. Or if it'll know it has, like, a big ant problem. To me, it just, that just sounds like some telephone shit, dude.

It doesn't sound like... That's what I'm saying. It sounds like a handful of people around the world could smell some shit of a spisest. specific fucking breed when there's like millions of them or however

thousands however meaning there are fucking birth fucking birth defects man it's a bunch of people made it up

to feel special I knew a girl that uh and she said when she steps on like spiders or hits

she can like hear it crush like she can hear the sound and I said no that's that's your head

you're you're imagining that like you you think you can hear a spider going like making a sound

like how big is the fucking like it would have to be like a tarantula Yeah it's like an Australian spider Making that noise Yeah but no like no It's just regular spiders That we have around like California Like those type of sizes

That's a dumb person She hears that It's not dumb but it's like a thing That psychologically you think You were hearing some shit It's the sound that you're making in your head And you think it's actually coming from the spider But it's coming from you

Which is like It's totally like I don't know know if you call that psychosomatic or something, but it's just like, yeah, it's a weird phenomenon that I was just like, what? You know, no, you're not hearing shit. You're not hearing anything. You know what's crazy?

Okay, this is going to make me sound even crazy and I usually sound. Oh, God, here we go. But I'm going to put it out there. So there's sometimes when it's like really late at night that like I'm about to go to sleep, that like I start like thinking of songs and I'm hearing in my head, right? And then people are singing. And I'm like, I hear singing in my head. And I'm like, oh, I'm hearing singing.

this is fucking wild and then the singing stops and they conversate and I'm like what the fuck and I go to sleep I'm like what the fuck's happening yeah that's uh it's a frenia my friend because you know like when you wait you know like when you think of a song and you start thinking the song and you hear it because you can hear your thoughts obviously I hope everyone can hear their thoughts you can hear your thoughts no some people you're supposed to some people what?

yeah you can't hear your own that's what what do you mean what are you some people are so primal Yo, yeah, yo, yeah, yo, check this out. Some people are so primal, like, animals. Because think about it. I remember when I was a kid, I thought about this. When I was a kid, I was like, how do dogs think? Are they barking inside their own head?

Like, are they like, bark, bark, bark. Because, you know, like, how dogs communicate with each other. They make noises. And I'm like, are they making those fucking noises in their head? And then somebody much smarter than me was like, oh, no, they just do shit. Like, it's not like in their head and they're thinking it out. It's just hungry. it's just like go to food

you know what I mean and I think people there's some people that just do that like they're not having these crazy as bottle dogs in my head I can't think a human I can't think of a human not being able to think

it's not about not being able to think it's more like whether or not you can like because if there are some people like if you think of something then you just think it you don't necessarily think in like a voice or like audio because it's just kind of intrinsic to your brain you just you just sort of think it and it's the thought is done like if there's no time necessary to say it part of like that seems so intrinsic to the mind in the process of thought being able to hear your

thoughts and go over them before you say them or do them it's yeah yeah well you know i i thought about something though because you know how a lot of people and and i think this is i think this is the reason why A lot of people would say, oh, it's crazy to talk to yourself. Like, when you're talking out loud, people are like, oh, that's crazy. I think the reason why they think it's crazy is because they can talk to themselves inside their head. So it's like, why would I say that out fucking loud? Exactly. But here's the thing.

I think there's people that literally can't do that and they speak out loud to materialize those thoughts. Like, to actually, like, to make them exist. I don't even know. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's more like, because the, the, idea is like your thoughts are like an inner monologue kind of right and you're like going through you're going through the monologue but it that's not what that's not the relationship between thoughts and language language is a way to express thoughts but a thought kind of happens instantly

like there's no there's no there's no beginning middle and end of a thought really it just sort of happens and it's done and like whether or not the beginning middle of an end is real or not that depends on whether or not you're actually saying it and like or your person are your perspective of your thoughts, I guess, because Well, think about anytime you've ever said something that you've thought. It's typically because you know what you're going to say already. Like, you know what you're, you know

Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877-RAM

5-7-22 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-36.

Wow, Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. What you're trying to say, and now your brain is trying to find some way to convey it as language to other people. It's not necessarily, but you don't need to do that in your own head. Because you already know your thought. But that's true.

When you're going over a sequence of a mathematic problem in your head, there's a beginning, a middle, and the end. Yo, dude, I'm with you. I don't understand how people don't do it. That's so weird. it's like, you know, I didn't understand the point of music for so long because I was like, why don't you just listen to it in your head? Like, actually, for real, I would just think of music and I would just listen to it in my head. I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's the music. That's the song that I'll just listen to it with my mind. I mean, obviously you can do it. Like, if I know a song well enough, I can do that. Yeah. I can, I can play Spider-Man 3 in my head and sit down smiling the whole fucking day. Like, I can, that's scary, but I can do that. How the fuck can you not? Like, I don't. Look, let's look, for people that can't think inside their head, fuck you. Yeah, that's not what that is.

That's not what that is. Everybody thinks of the head. Well, they can't, they can't verbalize thoughts in their head. I forget what this is. I feel like we're butchering that. I'm going to look this up. Well, look, because it's just like, I think that's, from what I remember, I thought that's what it was.

Like, say while you were talking, I was thinking in my head and hearing myself say it, like, should I jerk off tonight? Should I, should I fucking beat off tonight? Or should I just wait until tomorrow morning? Like that was going through my head, but I'm wondering, can people materialize those words, you know, like, and have that dialogue, that inner dialogue. But the thing is that there's thoughts and there's words spoken. That helps, like, that should be like, that's like a part of how you live. Well, it makes it thoughts. And you're like, all right, I think things. Putting that, putting things out in words, it definitely reinforces things. It's kind of like, it's kind of like, say, every, every one of those fancy books that, that are, uh, uh, uh,

that are like trying to, I wouldn't self-help or whatever the fuck. They always say to like verbalize say thank you just for, you know, if you're religious, say, praise God or just say thank you. And it just kind of puts positive energy out. It'll just make you feel better. And they said it just feels better when you say rather than just fucking thinking it. And I get it. It's kind of like say when you're really angry and fucking screaming. And then the difference between holding it in like being mad inside does not fucking satisfy.

You have to let something out. I like it. It hurts. So fun, fun fact. Being mad inside feels good. He's like, ugh. Yeah, so the whole thing hinges around. So what is this?

Fun fact, some people have an internal narrative and some don't, as in some people's thoughts are like sentences they hear and some people just have abstract nonverbal thoughts and have to consciously verbalize them. And most people aren't aware of the other type of person. I feel like I'm both of these people. That's kind of confusing. You can't be both. What the hell you're talking about? Because I do have abstract just thoughts that I just understand. Everyone has abstract thoughts.

That's what I'm saying. And not everything is verbal. Like when I go get up in the morning and take a piss, I'm not saying, oh, let me get up to take a piss. Like, I'm thinking, I got a piss. But you're not thinking that. You're just thinking like need, you know? Yeah, need peepee. I think, I think it like my, my fucking life is a script in my mind.

So you wake up, you're like, oh, it's time to arise from bread. I actually wake up. I actually wake up. I actually wake up. and I'm like, oh man, it's another fucking day. I can't believe it. Why did I wake up? And then I had this whole fucking...

I woke up and I'm like, yet another day we rise and we strive further toward becoming the greatest man possible. I walk in like... I walk in a mirror. It's like, you should probably kill yourself. And I'm like, I'm not going to do that. And it's like, why not? Are you scared?

And I'm like, inner monologue, stop. Come on, don't be a bitch. Do it. You know you want to see us on the other side. Inner monologue? Inner monologue, stop. I never gave him a name, though. I just found out what he was named.

He was always there, and I called him like whatever void was before inner monologue before I knew it. And then eventually he became inner monologue when I found out what it was. Inner monologue. Hell's wrong with you. But going back to what you said when you wrote it, that's exactly what I was talking about, where I think some people have only those abstract thoughts, right? And they only articulate them when they're speaking. So I think there's some people that would think like, oh, you're crazy for speaking out for thinking out loud because and they don't realize some people literally can't think inside the way that, you know, like I'm standing in the fucking grocery store and I'm like, should I get this? Should I get that?

Some people don't really have, they can't really do that. So they have to speak out and other people that can internalize thoughts with words, they think they're crazy. Do you think? And I'm like, I don't think they're crazy. I think it just helps you fucking, just helps you think better. So do you think because- What's crazy is that cartoons taught me that shit? What?

Like, I learned, like, I, even know I hate to admit it, anime had some sort of effect on me. I don't want to, I don't want to have this conversation. Wait, let me finish. I'm going to cut your audio right here, and I'm going to talk over it. It's not even that crazy. It's not even that crazy before I get to it. Because what happens is that in anime,

characters, like, stop and they're like, do justice when they think. And cartoons. And I started doing that when I was younger, too, because I thought that's, how people did it because obviously you watch cartoons you watch Disney and bullshit when you're younger. Are you still talking? You guys are a bunch of fucking smegmoids, bro.

Are you saying something? You guys are trying to uncover the secrets of the universe, all right? I mean, this is fucking... Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram, 500 Big Horn crew cab, four by four for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,00099 do at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM 57-2-2 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial.

Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing part. partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I can't even imagine how we're talking about. I don't know what we're talking about. We saw it's so fucking dumb right now.

Do you think a gorilla? Because guerrillas can do sign language. Do you think they have like, internal monologues where they're like well they can't create new ideas though they can only replicate things they've seen they can't like freestyle sentences that they just think of well they can only replicate sentences they've seen

no they can freestyle sentences they can't no dude you know what I saw hold on hold on hold on I have evidence I saw a video today of a gorilla sign language he was like reacting somebody showed him a news article that said Dr. Drew is dead because Dr. Drew had died that day I hate you.

I hate you. And then the gorilla, and the gorilla was like, let's do the check. The gorilla was like, he did sign language. He was like, oh no,

Dr. Drew dead. Cry, cry me, cry me sad. And, you know, it was free, he was freestyling.

That was totally independent. Dr. Drew is not dead yet again. I mean, see, but you didn't see the next, you didn't see the follow up video where the,

the dude that takes care of the, the gorilla was like, oh, just kidding, dude, it was Chris Reagan. And then the gorilla was like, Fuck that nigger, Chris Raygun.

I fucking beat that nigger's ass with my gorilla hands. I'm doing like east side cripping shit like instead of. Why aren't we fucking giving gorilla steroids and making them work out? Like, why aren't we doing that? Because that's not how mean. That's far too much to contain. That we need to see the human potential. That's also inhumane.

It's not human potential. That's a gorilla potential. How is that inhumane? That's awesome. What are you talking about? Derek. Derek. Why wouldn't a gorilla want to be that much stronger than that?

It's not human potential. It's guerrilla potential. I said that on accident. All right, man, fuck you. It means nothing to us. Derek, look, a gorilla is not intelligent enough to understand what's going to happen when it takes the steroids. No, that's bullshit. It's not bullshit.

That's obvious. A fucking ape can learn sign language. How could it not understand? Oh, now that I'm getting these shots, hey, hold on. And now that I'm getting these shots, I can lift much more of this. This is awesome. A gorilla can replicate. the signs that it's been shown.

If you do dog, it can do back dog. So then if you show it a dog and do that sign, it'll see the dog and do that sign. It's not going to understand that if I take these supplements, my muscles will grow out of my tendons growing. No, that's how it works. A gorilla fucking, it was, maybe it was a gorilla. It might have been an orangutan.

The one that they taught the sign language, I pretty sure it was an orangutan. And it might have been a gorilla It might have been a chimp. It was an ape. It was a fucking ape. One of the apes. You sound racist, okay.

Kids are you. No, you're making a racist. You're fucking, was one of them fucking apes, right? It was one of those damn dirty fucking, what was it? The saddle thing? Saddle goose.

Saddle goose. It was fucking saddle goose bassets. What is that? A saddle goose is pretty much an idea of someone who's a fucking idiot. So pretty much someone trying to put a saddle on a goose. It's old English It's like someone who's fucking stupid

Your old English insults are pretty good Honestly Shash It's also poppy cock Okay continue Derek continue your fucking heat exchange I'm telling me that a guerrilla can fucking learn sign language And it's figure shit out

An ape Whichever when it was It learned shit And when it was sad It was letting you know It wasn't just like Oh I remember these signs And like I remember this type of code

It was like I'm sad And I'm speaking that I'm sad Yes, it was learning real shit Because it showed that it probably showed it That oh, this is what sadness is It showed it the idea or like the image Wait wait wait So then once you know what sadness is

You learn something What are you talking about? That's true but they don't how do I explain it That's not hold on a hot You can teach a gorilla the idea of like Oh um 1 plus 1 equals 2 But it won't figure out that 1 plus 1 plus 1 equals 3 It will only be able to replicate

1 plus 1 equals 2. It doesn't learn things like in the idea that it doesn't continue the train of thought. It'll just absorb what it knows. I understand what you're saying in that capacity, but once you've taught somebody, for example, it can replicate what it knows only. It won't look

further on to be able to expand on its knowledge. Right, but that's just because they're not curious. But like if you give... That's absolutely not true. They're extremely curious. If you give, I mean, as everything's technically curious because everything looks for shit and then gets killed. but the

Particularly apes and cats Generally speaking like You know There's really no difference than like An ape learning how to Learning the word for sad And then when it's sad It knowing the language

To be able to convey and express that And like a person learning language And like expressing themselves through that That is the same exact thing Well the thing about us is that what you call it We will naturally push the boundary To try to figure out more an ape as since it's being more

Beastal it'll be fine in its Right right right but that doesn't Hold on hold on But that doesn't That doesn't disprove that they can freestyle sentences They very clearly can just They literally cannot They very clearly can

They can do that Chris you can look this up They do not Because at that moment That means that apes would be able to figure out And do everything we can do But so if they can just have abstract thought like that No but you're saying that like if it was sad

It wouldn't say I'm sad then because it wouldn't even bother to make the connection. It would say I'm sad because if it's taught I'm sad, it would say I'm sad. No, but it's not taught that it's sad. It's taught how to say that it's sad when it's sad. No, it's taught what the reaction for sad is. It's taught, okay, how to explain it? It's like if it's taught this dog is pretty, it'll have the idea this dog is pretty,

but it won't particularly say that another dog is pretty. It'll just say, oh, if it learns them both together, it'll only know that contingency of the two things. It won't know how to separate it. and then add other things. I don't know. I've seen Planet of the apes and I disagree. Planet Eames. I've been to Brooklyn.

Apes can do anything humans can do. I think Sweeney's a fucking fundamentalist, like, Christian zeal. I'm not a fundamentalist, dude. He doesn't believe in evolution. He doesn't even know that, fucking, eventually, things evolved and then fucking started learning self-aware and having full control of their consciousness. And that's why? And knowing, you know, it's one of those things that's like,

why wouldn't they have their? potential to do it. I'm not saying they can. The potential. I'm not a potential to do it. At no point, Sweeney, at no point was I saying that fucking apes and humans are on the same level. I'm not saying.

You're not giving them any credit. You're like, they're just dumb, dirty niggas. That's all you just saying. I never called the ape's niggas. All right. That's this mean. But you still, the moral of the story is you still shouldn't put steroids in them. Oh, absolutely.

You're Derek, you're fucking monster. Oh, that's what we're talking about. I'm a monster. You want to fucking kill all these people. All I want to do is make. Kill all these people. I didn't want to kill anybody. You want to kill everybody. Shut the fuck up, dude.

How much footage do we need to fucking have a super cut of how much death and destruction you want to fucking cast upon the world? I only want to kill aliens. Yeah. Oh, so okay. Oh, excuse me. First of all, you want to kill people in the sea and you want to kill aliens. Yes. You want to kill the people in the sea.

What the fuck do you know, Derek? Do you know some shit you're not telling me? Kill people. Somebody docks this man. Kill him. The fucking sea people. There's all. There's Mermaids.

The Merm men and Mour women. They're fucking real. You want to kill MIR people and then you want to fucking kill aliens. Yes. I'm in here. I'm fucked up for just wanting to give insanely powerful creatures some something to make them even more powerful. Oh, excuse me.

They don't, hold on. Derek, you're not doing that to benefit them. You're just doing that to entertain yourself. Hold on. Hold on. How is that?

But how is that abuse? That's awesome. It's awesome to you. It's like teaching your dog. It's like teaching some people. argue that teaching your dog's tricks is abuse. Like, fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck everybody that thinks that too. And fuck you that you think that giving guerrilla steroids is abuse. That's awesome. What's up, Chris? What's up? He's so mad. I don't think a gorilla needs more power than it already has.

And I'll be real. Hold on, hold on. I'll be real. I don't know if it would even be able to perceive the difference because they're already so comedically strong that. that no obstacle that they come across would even... I don't think they have many barriers as is. I feel like...

I feel like Guerrilla would figure it out one day when like... It's just at his cage, fucking roared it up, and it just grabs the fucking chain and just opens it. Like it's a fucking... Like it's drapes. It just fucking opens it and walks out and it's like, there's nothing I can't do. No, no.

It would probably just be like, I guess I just wasn't trying hard enough. or some nonsense You know what it would do? You know what it would do? It would hear a bee next to its ear and then smack its own head and then kill itself

because it has way too much power. Dude, this shit happened in a fuck I think it was the LA Zoo. It's the craziest thing ever because like... A gorilla slapped itself to death? A slapped itself to death? No, dude, it's not a gorilla.

What happened was it was orangutangs, I think. Some girl went to the zoo and she was like, do so she kept putting sticks through the through the like the, the chain, the wire or the gate, and the monkeys grab the sticks that you put through and broke the fucking chains in the fucking gate

and left the gate. First of all, that's crazy hard to do. That takes a lot of strength to just fucking use wood to break metal. That's not fucking easy. Are you sure that's a real thing? I swear it's a real thing. It's fucking terrible. I swear.

The reason, here's the thing. The reason I'm asking is because, Sweeney, you have a tendency to be fooled very easily. Yeah, okay. So, Chris is going to bring up a story that recently happened, right? Oh, no. What do you mean? What? Okay, so one of our friends said they got a PlayStation 5, right?

And I was like, oh, she got one, that's cool. And she had a picture in there. I did not look at the picture for an extended length of time. Come to find out, the PlayStation 5 in the picture was the size of an average suitcase. And I was just like, oh, I guess, I guess she got one. That's not what I was going to bring out. Good for her. That's a good example of your idiocy.

I wasn't going to bring that up. I was going to bring up the fact that you were like, hey, did you see the last of us movie trailer? I thought it was movie trailer. And we were all like, no, what the fuck are you talking about? And then you looked for it and was like, oh, I guess it wasn't real. I saw something. I was like, oh, this looks kind of cool.

Bro, this happens all the time. This happens like so many. Dude, I don't think people is going to lie to me for no reason. That's why I believe people. Like, why are you just going to lie to me? Like, what I do you? Do you think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?

Honestly, bro, it hurts. But that I learned from my professor directly who wasn't involved in a case study. Of it at the zoo. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram,500 Bighorn crew cab,

four by four for 365 a month, for 39 months, with 4,99 due at signing. Tax, title, license, extra. No security deposit required. Call 1, 877. 7 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

Oh, right. And then she said that the orangutans just went to the chimpanzee exhibit and we're just chilling outside the gate looking at the chimpanzees. So that means that people walked into the zoo that worked that morning and found orangutans just. out and about just chilling. That is such a wild scenario. Probably fucking raccoons

and fucking beating a shot of peacocks and shit. Holy shit. You know, can you imagine, man? I would not want to... I'd get back in my car and I'd leave. Yeah, I wouldn't want to come face to face with anything that big and unnecessarily overpowered. That's just too much.

I feel like I can... My soul can commune with a chimpanzee enough for it not to kill me immediately. And then I got to get out of there You're postponing it basically What do you say? You're postponing it basically Like it will kill you

But you can distract it a little bit I'm not a threat Like look at me I'm just gonna I'm gonna sit down Real calm like I'm gonna sit down My legs spreading my arm's sped

I'm like I have no threat to you I don't want any other smoke That you're gonna bring to the table And then It's gonna walk away And I'm gonna fucking run And pray in my head Because I can do it

I'm not gonna do it aloud So you don't fucking hear me and I'm going to get to my card and go because orangutans are known for a bit people's limbs off like easy. Orangentangite? No, they're not.

Like not even a feat, bro. Well, I mean, they can, but they don't, like, people aren't around orangutans like fucking hard. They're not really. Yeah, it's usually chimps. It's usually chimps there. There's been enough because enough people

are stupid enough to keep chimps as pets because they're like, oh, they're just big enough to where they're kind of adorable and then they rip their fucking faces off because people are. They're comedically strong? Yeah, people are shitty

People There's I would say Half of the people that have pets should not Fucking have pets Oh yeah yeah One million percent That's like obviously true Most people

Most people aren't responsible enough to take care of themselves Let alone a fully dependent A fully dependent animal Whether or not it's a wild animal or not Yeah, they do I get so upset They're fucking I get so upset in the

Yeah In the fucking summer dude When it's like blazing hot And like the fucking cement is fucking on fire essentially And people are like Oh this is a good idea To fucking take my dog out

And I'm like Hey bro I know you have shoes on But your fucking dog doesn't And it's happy to be outside But its feet are fucking hurting Like you know But dogs don't usually bitch

And complain about pain Because their thresholds a little bit higher But it's not having a great time It's feet's not having a great fucking time And it drives me nuts To the point where I'm almost starting to become a Karen Like I look at it

I'm like I'm gonna say something But I'm like not I'm not gonna say something thing. But I like, I want to say something so badly, but I haven't gotten to that level yet. You don't care about those animals get hurt, bro. What we're talking about just dogs wearing shoes? It's just one of those things because I'm like,

those fucking pieces of shit, they're not going to stop. What am I, when I say that, what is what's going to happen? Yeah, it's like the people who are like, hey, I live in Las Vegas. Better get a husky. You know? It's like the idea, Chris, that on animals, like, particularly canines and phenones. I don't know about many other things like that. Their pads

of their feet still get hot from the ground. Of course. Imagine us running around on like cement while it's fucking scorching hot. It would feel the same for them. Yeah. Is that they don't hurt as much as we do. Because they're better predators and we're not. They don't got time to bitch about it.

It's really fucked up. Well, they just can't. They just can't explain to me. They can't express that really because they really only know how to express a life threatening pain it feels like, you know? Like a dog or like pain that's like really sharp. I feel like a dog isn't going to cry if it has like a migraine or like, you know what I mean? Like a dog's not going to have a headache and cry.

I think it's more like They only make sounds to alert us Dogs dogs don't bark and communicate They don't they just literally make sounds To alert other animals Or themselves Like they don't do it just to be like Oh I'm gonna bark to say hello to my other animal

They just use gestures So what so should like you Are you like a dog Like an advocate for like dogs with shoes and shit? No if you're gonna take your dog on a walk When it's like fucking sweltering outside run on grass with your dog I'd say not take it in the morning

or at night like one or the other Just taking on grass grass is soft it's not gonna fucking heat up that much There's not grass everywhere dude That's true that's like if you're going to It's one of the things where usually you have to be on the concrete for a while Before you get to the grass So to me it's just like go in the morning or go at night Nobody's busy 24 hours of the fucking day

And if you are don't get a fucking pet It's that simple How do you feel if your dog turned if you were walking your dog And it turned to you it turned to you it looked it looked up like this completely up just like to fucking complete

complete 180 with its head owl style it said Derek my paws they pain they ache they pain

they pain it doesn't understand English dude it just kind of it just has this repeating words it's heard you say it has a vague grasp of it but that's about it

my feet Why? Why? Every disturbed or impained animal, I just imagine as Meat Canyon. Everything disturbed, period, reminds me of Meat Canyon. At any point when a character is going to reveal that they're hurt or scared or they're realizing that something demonic's happening, meat Canyon. Do you guys see that Magic School Bus one that you just came out with? That shit had...

No. That one was... That was... That was on another level. That was on another fucking level We gotta We gotta We gotta get him on the show

Uh We gotta get him on the show Wet ass pussy I was like Um Okay We gotta get them on the show After I think after

New Year's After the holidays Are all fucking over We're gonna start having guests I'm with it Can we get hot hose on the show Hot hose? I don't know who's a hot

They'll just They'll do their fucking implied nude bullshit it and fucking only fans and you know what I'm saying right where they're not actually show anything it's all implied we'll do that I don't know what you're talking

I mean I can't I can't be a part of that one that could be that could sub me out for I don't want to I don't want to do anything it's just going to be some fucking she's just going to have like a fucking brawn or something I don't know that's what they sell that's what a lot of people just sell fucking not nudes and I'm like holy shit and that makes me want to transition to something that

I think that I we've probably been meaning to talk about this for a long time but we haven't really gotten in detail about Simps and shit because, so Bell Delphine, haven't we? Have we? I don't definitely talked about it. Well, we need to brush up even if we haven't because I don't remember. Okay. We need to brush up. Bell Delphine just announced that next month she's going to start releasing real porn.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, shit, that's interesting. And good for the people that are paying, I guess, because. And this is where the simby comes in Because I always say like hey Congrats for the chicks you know Secure your bag you know play on play of But I get so just

Frustrated at these young men That are paying for not nudes Like I already, to me paying for porn In the beginning Did the Gat goes actually kind of crazy But They're paying for not nudes Like they're not even naked

And they're paying It's the person now It has to look like look Oh no personality's cool, man. Like, that's why, hey, do some dope-ass dream. Play some fucking Skyrim. And I'll shoot you a fucking fiber.

I'll sub to you because that's fun. But you're gonna, you're gonna send me a fucking bikini. I'm like, I'll go to the beach. I'm gonna go to the fucking beach. And I'm gonna see more fucking nudes, man. Yeah. I'll, I'll, in my opinion, I think, uh, I think paying for porn is fine. I think that's like totally like valid.

If you got like the money to do it, you know, there's so much free porn. If you have the money. There's so much, there's so much free porn. that like I could see why like there would be like for the average person there's really no reason but like you know what they're they're kind of the backbone of society in a lot of ways they are I feel like they keep a lot of people from fucking going off on each other so like you know what all right you know I'll I'll gladly toss a couple bucks over to like a subscription or something but well but yeah yeah the people I think my issue right and I know I've heard I've had a lot of people express this opinion to me who are in that field where it's like the people who jump on to places like only fans who do like essentially like basically like safe for work stuff or like Instagram tier stuff. Yeah. They are in essence just completely destroying that platform because that's like one of the few

places that those people can go to make a living and then here these people are who like could be on Patreon. Just like arbitrarily being on only fans just so they can get like the clout from only fans and it'd be like, hey look, I'm like a sex work. But like, aha, not really, though, you know, because I'm just sort of on this platform stealing traffic from people who are actually, like, putting out actual content. Like real content. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, content, man.

Because, look, I don't hate on that. And I think it's just like YouTube for me where it's like there's ads and you can do subscription stuff. And that's cool as hell. And I think that's cool for porn as well. I get it. But the idea that, like, I remember one time. I was so angry. I forgot what year this was.

Fuck, I don't remember. But, like, there was like a, oh, send me, like, 10 or 20 bucks on PayPal, and then I'll send you the link to, like, some of my shit. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is going to be. I was like, let me see what this shit is. And, like, it was, like, so nothing. Like, it was so just like, oh, I'm kind of rubbing myself a little bit cool. and I'm like, if I'm paying money for this, I expect like, fucking, a finish something.

I want the big O, I want fucking, I want something. I want the big O. Something. Like, give me the big O. Give me the big O. I was not satisfied. You degenerate. But no, I'm the same way.

Well, imagine my shock. Imagine my shock. You got to make your hands. I have a few hands. That guy has, his hands are probably bigger than mine. That's disgusting. One. I can only grab triple day tittes.

With one hand, he can grab two tits, bro. That's a fucking legend. Rest your breastuses on my one hand. So for me, when it comes to Only fans are like, he rolls H cups like dice. Oh my God. Stop making fun of him. Let him be.

Let him be. He seems like a nice guy, I guess. He's definitely not. He's a fucking piece of shit, dude. I'm sorry. Like, I just... Go ahead, man. Let's talk about it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So for me, there is nothing, like, how'd I explain it? I've seen so much porn already. Like, I've been polluted by the amount of porn I've seen that there's nothing that any, any person could do that's going to have me like, oh, wow. And that's worth a five bomb right there because shit. I've seen, I've seen girls. I have seen, I saw a video where this girl put a fucking whiffle ball bat in her ass and

it shot it out her ass, bro. That shit is like, that's some shit that is just like, what so? I'm so not into that. I'm not into it. It's unbelievable. Dude, it's just at a certain point, it's not about getting aroused. It's about like, what the fuck? That's just like EFuck, though.

Exactly. I was about to say, dude. That's like, what the fuck? I was about to say, dude, yo, I would, EFox could easily charge money. And I, I would subscribe. I would pay 10 bucks a month for EFact. I would. If I know I was going to get some primo funny shit every time I logged in EFock,

I would happily swing them $10. They'd be like the new Netflix for me. I'd be like, Lily, come over. Let's watch this girl fucking put a durable in her fucking mouth and let it crawl out her asshole. Let's fucking watch this dirty. They gave it a fucking space. They gave it a fucking spaceman helmet

with a little tank on the back of it so it could breathe and it just goes. And it makes it. Yo, yeah, man. I just so, like, I always say like, a beldophine because the thing is I've always kind of like all her schick and stuff.

I always like, oh, she seems cool. But. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 20-20s. RAM, 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for $3.69 a month for 39 months, with $4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1, 877-RAM, 5722 for lease details.

Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time. goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You know, seeing that she doesn't, I was like, oh, she doesn't like, she's not. actually naked. Like it's all like it's more implied. Like he doesn't really show. What? Wait, who are we talking about? Bell Duffield. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. So I was just kind of like, why would I, why would I? That's just my brain though. I'm like, what, what exactly are you paying for? That was kind of my thing where I'm like, I'm not. Yeah, like up until this

point, what are you, what are you paying for? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Like I, I, I feel like I've definitely seen like videos on Twitter of her doing some fucking insane shit. But like, gnarly shit. Yeah. I mean, I guess, it's not necessarily like, you don't,

it's weird because it's like, the clip that I saw was pretty like, okay, well, that's definitely, like not, you can't put that on Instagram, like,

certainly, and it's like, it's censored, kind of, but it's still, like, it's essentially, like,

to me, like, the stuff that I saw on Twitter was like, no different than like, when, like, like,

hentai has, like, the fucking blurs on it, you know what I mean? Yeah. That shit's insane to me. It's like that, where it's like, this is, you know, okay, this is...

I couldn't, I can't pay for pictures of women or video. Like, I don't know. Like, I can just go out and get some snatch. Like, I can't, I can't think of giving, giving girls money for, I can't imagine it. For like, I'll give my girlfriend money to buy you that she wants, but I can't imagine giving someone money to look at them or even fuck them. Like, I can, it's, you don't. I have to do that.

I mean, it's a, it's a different. What's so, Chris? No, like, I wonder, like, because is this, this can't be, like, younger people with, like, no money, right? Like, this has to be, like, pretty well off. Because, like, you hear, you hear stories all the time of, like, people, like, girls who, like, get money from fucking rich old fucking people. Which, by the way, is, like, I'm sorry, but that's, like, a pretty massive fucking easy

mode that exists. Like, I mean. Yeah. It exists for men too, but it's not as prevalent. It exists for men, but you have to fucking do it. Two men. Listen. Yo, fucker up, bro.

Any, like, 50-year-old bitch out there wants to hand me, like, a grand a week, hit me up by all fucking means. I'll accept that in, like, that's not even like. I have no moral qualms about that. I have no fucking... I'm fine with it. But... Yeah.

I got to see proof that this person exists, because I don't think of that person is. I feel like. Let's say I'm single and my girlfriend. I would, I would not some 85 year old pussy out of the fucking world. I wouldn't do that. If I was getting like $15,000 a week, bro,

I would, I would fucking grand slam that pussy, bro. I would do the work. I don't care how dry it is, bro. I'd get the back to the gym and just. Oh, my God. And then dive in there, dude Anyway, yeah, dude

I'll figure it out, man. If If the market was big for men, I would have been a sex worker a long time. Oh, yeah, no. Absolutely. I would have tried at least for a little bit. Some of the shit that I see,

like, when you can, like, buy a house after, like, a month of doing shit like this, it's like, yeah, what the fuck am I doing? I am very much for women empowerment and female empowerment. But I'm a reveal a secret. I'm a reveal a secret. I feel like every girl should know by now.

But the amount of power women have by just using their pussy to trick men is Heather too unbelievable. Yeah. It's like you could really, yo, dude's stupid, man. You could really get a dude to do some fucking wild shit just for a whiff of the puh. This is a whiff of the puh. You know? This implication that the pee will be shown eventually. I mean, it's an insane amount of power.

Like a wild amount. You should use it, dude. Use your power. Because like, I don't know. You guys don't have it. It's easy in some cases. But in some cases, like when it comes to sex work, in particular for the most part, as in the time of this recording, you guys got the W there, you know? Yeah.

It's certain. It's like this. And certain things, it's like, yeah, men have the advantage in other places and women, and they have their advantages in others. I would argue, I would argue in most places. You're getting the kids. I would argue in most places men probably have an advantage. But, like, this is one area where it's like, even though it's like a small area, it's a fucking crazy powerful area, man. And lucrative.

I wouldn't even say that's small. Like, sex is like we don't, we don't live as a species without sex. Sex is so fucking important. And it's such a very powerful. But sex business. Well, see, it's, that's what I'm talking about. It's not, it's, I mean, it's a niche as far as it being legal. You know what I'm saying?

Like, as far as it, but it's done everywhere all the time, but it's just not, like, widely accepted as, let's make this official business and put up fucking buildings and all this shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's stupid. There's that, that really stupid stigma that's still happening. But wait, like, you know what it is? I see a lot of it's like, how would you feel if you, like,

it's more. of like a, it is typically like a traditional thing, right? But I don't even think it's a traditional thing in the sense of like tradition. It's more like, what if your kids? Like, oh, your kids, they're gonna like grow up and they're gonna see that shit. It's like, bro, I don't give a fuck, man. At this, like, I wouldn't care. I know I wouldn't give a shit. I get it. I think it's, I think it's just a prudish thing about the human body where it's like everybody's like really weird about it. But it's like, I don't know, like, I don't know, like, look, we're all, we're all we're all young

adults you know I'm sure we've all been around it's you know it's for the most part you know you know it goes down you know you've seen you've seen everything you know like I'm sure there's like anomalies here and there but like I mean there's not there's no mystery

double dick like and the fucking curved like a fucking curved like yeah yeah there's like interesting shit but like for the most part I mean like you know you're not going to see anything you've never seen yeah it's just like vaginas though bro I've seen some I've seen one strange vagina in person And I've seen some vaginas that look like fucking Muppet mouths on porn

Whereas it's like holy shit That's cavernous bro But it's like I don't know like The idea that it's like Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals Well qualified current FCA lessees Get a low mileage lease on the 2026 Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab

4 by 4 for 369 a month For 39 months with 4,09 due at signing Tax title license extra No security deposit required Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 5. 9 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24 7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I don't know, the idea that it's, it's like, the idea that the naked body is like sacred is like really fucking baffling to me.

Because it's just stupid as fuck. You could, you could easily just, you know, people photoshop people's faces on other people's naked bodies all the time and it's fine enough for them. that's that's how that's how like that's how easily you could just auto correct that shit in your imagination you know like it's it's because it's it's all basically the same it's all relatively the same and the thing is the thing that's with me

that's always uh like I'm not like say uh I wouldn't consider myself like a like a pervert per se but like when I have like uh women friends or whatever I always just want to know

I'm like, what do you look like naked? I just want to know just for the sake of it But it's not like say I want to fucking smash You see like you're not listening to my words What I just said? It's just that of curiosity It's not like I want to smash I'm just curious and like I want to look like naked

And then if I saw them I'd be like oh okay And then that's it It's just like one of those things where it's like Wanting to oh I wonder What's the proportion and stuff like that It's just like a thing that my brain does But I literally don't actually give a shit You have a, you have a, a dangerous, uh, necessity for knowledge, my friend.

Yeah. You're like, Icarus, bro. Yeah. You're like that guy in like some fucking Greek play or whatever who's like, I must know everything, even if I don't care. I mean, it's not that. It's not, it's not. I don't care about it.

Yeah, if, if I cared, then I would be like, I would, I would be campaigning for it. But I've, it's just, you know, I've never, it doesn't matter. I'm like, whatever. Yeah. I would say probably 90. percent of my female friends, I have not seen them naked because I'm not fucking like,

hey, uh, by the way. Hey, uh, so, uh, I know we've been friends for a while, but mine's slitted me the dudes. Jesus. Just wondering. I just want to see your fucking tits, you know? Let me see.

Let me see the fucking pucker of your assholes. Yeah, I just have a, I just, guys, guys, I'm not a pervert or anything, but I just have this weird thing where I want to see, My female friends is assholes. I just want to know what their assholes look like. I like comparing male and female assholes to see if one day I can truly distinguish what gender's asshole is which.

I wonder if there's a visible difference. I've never, I've never, I've never seen, I've never really seen a bunch of male assholes, you know. Like I've seen like maybe too, you know. I haven't seen any in person, actually. Okay. Check this out. So I say, I say that's the stupid. thing you've ever said, right? But I will agree with you. Like, I haven't seen that many male assholes.

Exactly. Exactly. What if our minds are blown and there is a distinct difference? He's looking up. He's Googling male assholes now via female assholes. I'm sorry. That is so stupid. I'm going to look it up. There's no way that can be of difference. That's, that's insane. This is the most fucked episode I think we've ever recorded. Male assholes. I didn't. We're already, hold on. We're already like, you. Do you understand that we're already an hour in? Oh, right.

Oh, nice. This isn't even close to over, bro. Because once we see the assholes, they're going to have to really, you know. There's questions, though, still. Can we put a, can we put a butthole on the thumbnail? I don't think we can. I just like it around. You know, I think something tells me that that might be against the terms of service.

Is there a difference between a female and a male butthole? Is that a real question that people are, fuck, dude. I'm sorry. Anyway, I know it's funny, but there's no way that's real. So anyway, yeah, welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. Hey. There's differences. Let me see if there's differences.

Dude, there's, I'm, I know it's funny. I know it's funny, Sweeney, but it's not, there's no difference, okay? There's no way. You never know, like, what if there is? I can't help, but you can't help this fucking plebeian. Let's move on to. You're this bad because I'm trying to reach toward the future of understanding. Speaking of, speaking of, you said the terms of service thing.

I forgot when we were talking about Bell's Delphine. Just real quick. Oh, yeah, her channel got to. suspended and then... She got yeated off of YouTube. But she's back now. For real? Oh, she's already back?

Yeah, she... It was like... What was it? Like, yesterday that happened? Bell... Delphine. Like, her channel's back now. Oh, it's already back.

So it's just like... I guess it made sense because it was unwarranted for her to get kicked off because she shows as much skin as like anything else I've seen on fucking YouTube. Yeah, like... There's no reason why her channel should be gone

and like fucking, you know, Nikki Minaj music videos should be like... Still up and stuff like that. There's a music video There's a there's a music video of future Where the girls are all topless The entire video There's probably like 10 girls

They're all and then that's what that whole Have you seen future misogyny memes? I love it I love it That's where it came from It came from that music video So what Wait what do you know what I mean What I mean it's awesome

I fucking I became much more of a fan of future After that because first I was kind of like Who's this mumbling piece of shit First of all, Future is a genius, bro. Look, this was, I'm talking about, I think I, I think I first heard him in 2014. That was when I finally started. I was like, who fuck's this guy?

And then he's like, and then that Tony Montana shit, like before when he's just completely, just completely high on lean, just fucked out of his mind. It's so fucking stupid. But hey, I loved it, dude. I like him now. Of course you do. How do you? Okay, but here's the thing. Okay, we're going to switch over real quick.

I just want to say this real quick. I don't know how the fuck you can like that. When you say you really respect like real hip hop. I respect only one. I respect real hip hop because of the sound. He drew out of his fucking mouth. Okay. He created that sound that led to what music is pretty much now.

Him and Kanye are the ones that really pioneered the modern sound. But the thing about them is that theirs was genuine. Everyone else just copies it now. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. That whole mumble rhythmic mumbling or like, you know, like low like kind of like gravel, not gravely, but like, that was definitely like future shit first.

And I fuck with him for doing it. It was him, young thug and rich homie Kwan. They were the ones that like really started that shit. They saw they all look. They all look like this. They all like the entire time. Because they've all been hit by Connors. I got to seize back in my backpack, yo, something.

It's hospital rap is what it is. It's like fucking I just came out of surgery. They left a sponge in me. I have to go back in. This is my song about it. They left a sponge in you. Could you imagine it's surgery and they leave something in you? That happens, dude.

And you're like, yo, for some reason, I don't know why, but every time I fart, I hear, like, keys jingling in my body. What the fuck's going on? Yo, dude, I left my Lexus keys in that guy's stomach, bro. Why would you breathe into surgery? Your fucking keys. Oh, there's keys. Oh, fuck.

I left my, I left my sweat. I love my switch. I love my Nintendo's switch. I love my switch in that nigger's ass, bro. God, damn. Every time he's out here, I hear the quick sound. I hear smash throws inside my head. So hold on, hold on.

This is real. With more than 28 million, with more than 28 million operations performed nationwide, the number of cases in which foreign bodies are left behind during a procedure, in the United States has been estimated around 1,500 cases per year. So 15... That's way too much.

That's not a lot. It's not a lot in percentage-wise, but that's a lot, man. That's a lot of people going home with, like, oh, this PSP is in my fucking appendix. Yo. Somebody left their palm pilot in my fucking liver. Who has palm pilots, bro?

God damn. Oh, my God. I think they dropped it. engage in my leg. Oh my god. Anyway, what the fuck are we doing? Okay, let's... Okay, I guess I go to questions now, dude.

Yeah, let's... Let's fuck up some questions. As well, some questions, yeah. All right, uh, what do we got? Decrepit Dan wrote in. He says, hello, cheap haircut, acquitted homicide suspect, and ear cheese. Have no idea who the fuck either. What?

This could be just, this is completely nebulous. It's just, yeah, come on, man. What is that? Uh, What are the characters in cartoons slash shows from your childhood that developed your taste in women? I think we can all agree

that the hex curls from Scooby-D Shego from Kim Possible. I definitely, I would agree with that. And Gwen from TD? What's TD? Total drama? Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026.

Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title. License extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an

accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Oh, total drama. I didn't like Gwen that much. She was too much. What the fuck is? Is that what TD is? Hold on. Tuddin. Uh, had much larger impact. Wouldn't it be TDI or something? I thought it was total drama island. It was a bunch of total drama. Yeah, total drama. like a show. Oh, okay.

Oh, I never watched any of that shit. Gwen was the, uh, Gwen was the goth one. Okay, yeah. I, I can see that. So he obviously likes fucking big titty goth type chicks because you said hex girls or whatever. Yeah, hex girls Gwen and she go. That's like all. Like girls that look like vampires, fucking loser.

But, um. Like hot topic vampires, though. Fucking losers. I mean, I do like, uh, I do like chokers though. I'll say because they were, they were rocking chokers before they were cool. I give them props for that shit. Yeah. When were chokers are cool?

Are chokers cool now? Yeah. They've been for the past like four years. dude. Yeah, women were largely a part of the steak wearing chokers now. Absolutely. I've been I've been off the market for like five, so I guess that's why I haven't noticed that. That makes sense. But I don't know. Who was my type when I from cartoons? I was really into a, uh, is a famous character, um, Scooby-Doo. I've been who is it? Oh. You're really patting yourself on the back there for that one. It was great, dude. I'm proud of herself. Sick dog fucker.

Disgusting bitch. It's true. I have seen Sweeney fuck dogs on a couple occasions. For me, it was what you call it, Miss Bellum from... Oh, Powerpuff Girls? From Power Pough Girls. Oh, yeah. She was fucking bombed, dude.

Yeah. She had a great fucking bod. Who else was there? I can't really think. I guess I No What I imagine is like A lot card I guess

Oh too Oh from Final Fantasy Yeah Uh So is it just Oh my gosh Shows Specifically or

That's what he's asking Yeah Shows There was this girl called Ivy That was in Soul Calibur When I was little Oh Ivy was She had

The fucking Biggest tities She had big It was just insane They did They didn't make sense Bro And then she would

fucking be showing her ass off two and she had that sword whip thing, dude. That was fucking... Oh my god, yeah, I remember this. Yeah, Ivy was fucking caked up, man. Yeah, I remember this. I think everybody remembers this. But, uh...

Yeah, I was a big... I was a big fan of... I loved Tinchie Moyo. And I was a big fan. Basically, it was like, oh, this nerdy fucking school guy, and then all these chicks... They're all... Yeah, they're all fucking living at his spot,

and he's some alien fuck. It turns out to be whatever. Anyway, there was this space cop name Mihochi. And she was, like, really stupid, but she was just like, kind of, she was like, kind of dark skin. She had a tan. She had pink hair, right? A blonde hair. And she was just an idiot.

But I loved her quirkiness. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, Mihoi needs to get it now. Like, that was a—Mohsi was fucking, yeah, that was a good one. There was a lot of good chicks on that one, but Mahoshi definitely was on the top of my list. Yeah, I don't even know. I think I would agree with Shigo. I don't know if it was necessarily like into any of it really,

but it was just like, I remember totally spies watching a lot of totally spies. I don't know if they're necessarily emblematic of like a type though that I was particularly interesting. I just thought like, oh, I'm a kid and these girls are like in skin tight fucking jumpsuits and shit. So like whatever, man. This is fine. Black Cat from fucking Spider-Man the animated series. How can we forget? Oh, dude.

Black Cat was different, bro. She had no space in her fucking tights, man. She had no, she had negative space in those tights, bro. That was her skin. Dude, when she would transform into the black cat, her tities would get bigger, bro. Dude, she just got way sexier. Her tities grew. Same than with Storm and Rogue from X-Men, actually.

Rogue, rogue, rogue. Oh, dude, I forgot about Rogue's ass. Holy fuck. That shit was an unnecessary addition to the episode. Yeah. She was cheeked up for no reason. Oh, dude, they spent like an hour just on that one fucking frame. Just keep going.

Make it rounder. Make it rounder. More peach-like. Do you remember those old Looney Tunes? Not necessarily Looney Tunes, but those old kind of rubber-hose style animations where, like, sexual harassment was just like a huge joke. That shit is so fucking anime-hats with fucking Hello Nurse and shit. Like, yo, those shows were so goddamn horny, man.

Like, it's unreal how much. How often they just draw people with, like, just insane proportions. Insane. It's unsettling to me now. I'm like, bro, calm. Down. No, I'm all for it. Freedom of freedom of expression, you know.

Freedom of tits, yeah. Freedom of dicks and tits, bro. Dicks and tits. Yeah, I know there's more, but it's just kind of hard to think off the top of our heads, I guess, right? Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah, there's definitely more. Yeah, I'm sure there's, like, more, but those are the ones that come to mind, like, off the top of my head,

like Black Cat from Spider-Man the Enemy series is probably the-Larkey was so hot for no fucking reason. God damn it. Even her name is, like, unnecessary. Jesus Christ. It's been a while since I've even watched TV, let alone, like, the cartoons that I used to watch. I know I thought some of those Sailor Moon chicks were, I was just like, oh, they're pretty nice, they're pretty cute. was early though that was like early when I was a kid I would watch it too

and I was like I think I like this I don't know why yet though I don't know why I wanted to be Tuxedo Mass and dick them all down Tuxedo Mast is the homie bro he definitely was getting fucking interstellar pussy out of the fucking ass Didn't he like wasn't the whole thing with him is that he would like show up and like not do a damn thing At all well

I mean kind of And then yeah that became kind of a meme too Like my work here is done me didn't do anything And he just fucks off. Well, my work here is done after fucking Sailor wounds got fucking gang banged by a bunch of fucking tentacle monsters. And he's like, hmm, I helped. Farewell. He does the thing with his cape and leaves.

Dude, some of the minions in that show, like, the dudes were, like, were prettier than the chicks. Like, they did something like, they made them look gorgeous. They did. They were beautiful men. That's a good-looking dude right there. Do you remember those, do you remember those, like, fucking the plastic surgery twins? that fucking Max Mofo would tweet all over Twitter all the time. He would post their fucking...

Oh my God, God, I can't remember their goddamn names. There were these two identical twins, these two guys, they got so much plastic surgery that they just looked like fucking Michelin people. Like, they just looked fake. God damn. Like Michelin men, man. Like, bubbly, like quilts.

Like a chain link fence fell on the... like a chain link fence fell on a quilt. That's weird. That's so weird. Oh my God. Oh my God. Chain link fence fell on a fucking quilt. I can't remember.

That doesn't even make sense. That doesn't even make sense. How is that real? I wish I could remember their names, but like maybe I'll just ask Max. Maybe if you put in Max Mofo twins that'll pop up. Let's see. Tuxedo mask. No, it doesn't show us.

up. Goddammit. Oh yeah. No, it does. Oh yeah. There they are. You're talking about... What is it? Let me check. Let me check. If you can go back... No, it looks like it got stung by bees. The Bogdanov twins. Stung by all the fucking bees, dude. Oh, my God. I'm excited. You know, they look like porcelain bee stings.

Oh, my God. I've seen some of these people. I didn't know they were real. Would they be on images? Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to drop. Let me drop. Let me drop one. Would this image be on images? Yo, they look like they're wearing Grinch masks, bro. But they're painted white.

Yo, what? Oh, my God. They look like Jordan Peel. Jordan Peel. That's fucked up, dude. Oh, my God. That niggas doing great work, man. Oh, my God.

I can't believe these people were real. I thought this was like some fake whack shit, dude. No, they're real people. Because I've seen, I've seen, like, especially the dude that's on the left, I've seen him in, like, profile pictures. They look like that was real. They don't look like real, man. Igor and Gritschka Bogdanov. Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, my God. I can't believe he said he looks like Jordan Peel. That's a fucking wild ass thing. That's like, dude. Just watch. And now that was Jordan Peel's favorite podcast was a snark tank, and now it's no longer. He's like, fuck, man. I can't fucking escape anything.

He just wants to have a good time and shit. No, he'll be, he'll get over it, doc. He's sucking rich, man. Get over it. Stop fucking fine. He was about to fucking cast you in his next fucking movie called nigger. And then fucking now. I would have been a movie called nigger and R.B.

You don't have got to give me money, bro. Let me let me say nigger once on TV. Yeah, but see, now that you're disrespecting him, what he's going to do is he's going to make you the fucking villain. He's going to paint you white. Oh, please don't. He'll get game. fucked at the end. Yo, I know this might sound a little fuck, but I, I, people like, what would you do if you're

a white? I'd be like, I would cry because I don't want to be white. I'm so happy not being white. Like, I'm just happy being myself. I don't want to be white. I mean, I wouldn't want to be anything. I'd cry. Especially like.

Like, fuck, dude. Especially, like, just like, just racially, I feel like, just changing after like, like, if you just wake up a different race, I feel like that's more. distressing than empowering in in any in any situation because if you're like hip hop bro i can't i can't justify my love for hip hop as a white man if you're a if you're a black dude if you're a black dude if you're a black dude right come on man if you're a black dude and you wake up as a white guy that's like a whole bunch of shit that you've got to figure out right that's like that's so stressful that's like oh my god what the fuck i'm okay being a black man

i mean i like i am totally happy with who i am and i mean and everybody else should be too i'm just saying i'm not happy with anybody anybody all i'm saying is this bro how am i gonna justify my obsession with hip hop as a white man that's that that's just that you're being ignorant come on that's such a weird i i love hip hop culturally like at its at its base level being like from dance hall music and like the bronx by fucking dj quick and shit and if you're such a dumb girl that's a group in that environment and you have not black skin i think that's fine yeah you're basically arguing to derrick that like hold on hold on you're basically

arguing to Derek. I'm not like we were there. You're basically arguing to Derek that like he can't love metal because he's not white. I'm not white. I'm saying you can't justify my particular passion. But you're taking, you're taking the opposite. You're taking the like the mirror universe version of that perspective basically. Well, no, I'm taking the one involving me. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA

lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for three sixty nine a month for 39 months. with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency Restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. It's like, Isaac, it's my fucking culture, bro. It's what I breathe. It's our story as a people. I say that shit. That's what I think. And I'm going to say that shit as a white man. I'm like, it's our. culture. It's our fucking thing. All lives matter. I'm not going to slip out of my mouth and I'm like, shit. I'm fucking terrible. That's pretty cringe, dude. I'm not going to lie. It's very, it's very, it's, it's

a way of thought. It's a way of thought. It's just not the it's just not, it defines you. I understand. Yeah, it defines me particularly. It understands you, but it's not like say, I just don't like to blanket like because first of all, black Americans

are such a small amount of black people in the world. That's true. And, and, hip hop culture only pertains to black Americans. So it's just kind of like, it's a very niche thing.

Like say, British niggas can't fucking do it. At the same time. Well, hip hop references to everybody. Like me saying that is in all seriousness. It represents this to have not. Anyone who has not,

and pretty much the evolution of soul music, over time is this what hip hop became. So anyone who has this lived in those kind of lives in that situation, can, you know, reference it. That's like people in the Middle East love rap music. Like, people in the Middle East fucking like Hedric Lamar, and they don't even know what a Compton is, you know?

It just correlates the struggle. Yeah, they, I think them fucking dodging bombs is a little, yeah, I think they definitely have some struggles too, like, maybe like types 10. Like he's playing, like a breath of the wild, and Link is throwing fucking moon bombs. I always I always imagined I always imagined

like the Iraq war as like a giant George Bush like all you you remember that video that video that went viral a couple years ago with a dude like shoveling snow and he falls for like several like for like a whole minute straight yeah he was fighting falling I always imagined like the Iraq war

as like a giant George Bush like just almost falling throughout the entirety of fucking Iraq and then like at the end he's like he catches himself and he's like ah I guess I'm going now bye He just kicks all these buildings, destroys all these villages and shit. The watchstick drive. Anyway, fucking, all right, who's the next one?

User wrote in. He says, hey, Dream Team, would you ever consider reading any fanfic on the podcast or at very least describe any experience or thoughts of it? This question came up when I watched Internet Historians video, My Immortal. That's a great one. I asked this question But rest assured I am not a lunatic

That does this sort of thing I just thought it would make a great segment Well It would have to be pretty fucking funny It would have to be funny And like not just gross for the sake of being gross Yeah Don't be hacky about it

But here's the thing right Yeah As a general rule I have to say We'll never read fan fiction on the podcast Absolutely I respect that one Because here's exactly why.

Because here's what will happen. If I say that we will, then people are going to try hard. You know, they're going to, there's going to be a bunch of, like, fan fictions that just don't pop up organically. And, like, those are the only funny ones are the ones that people make because they're like, ooh, I'm weirdly passionate about this stupid thing that I, for some reason, think. And then they just, they fucking, they make it. And then it's funny because of that. If we did this, then it would, everything that would exist would just be, like, them trying to be read on the podcast.

and that's why it won't happen. I agree. No, I understand. Yeah, it's just, you're just setting yourself up for like a really shitty joke, essentially. Yeah, it's not worth it. I don't want to read fan fiction.

I don't want to hear about stories about me fucking anything or anyone. Dude, I remember when I was with Lacey, there was like all sorts of, like, ridiculous fanfictions. I remember one. I was involved in one of them, and I read part of another, what the fuck is this?

Yeah. I was like, why am I here? Yeah. I remember somebody, I don't even remember. I just kind of blocked it from my memory. I don't remember. It was like a long time ago where there was like a lot of the old anti-SJW types.

And there was like some orgy shit, some fan. I don't know. Yeah. I'm not with it. It sounds like the kind of fans you guys would have, man. I mean, there's a lot of freaks out there, man. There's a lot of freaks. A lot of people like to get down.

They like to do some interesting shit. They like to get busy. You know, I respect it, but also keep that over there. You know, Mr. Hands is real, so that's that by itself is already. Mr. Hand is the guy that put the fucking glass bottle up his ass, right? We just talked about this last episode.

Or he was, we did we? I'm pretty sure we did. I swear to God we talked about Mr. Hand. Who was the guy that spread his asshole on fucking what's God? That was just some guy. Probably named like Billy Joel or some shit. He just had his asshole fucking a gape. His asshole was so big. It was fucking kind of an ammering.

And the Rocket Man. Did you say Billy Joel? That's so fucking is a thing. Is that a dude? shut up his ass now? He's just like, oh, I can't do fucking arenas because of COVID. I was going to shove jars on my ass on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no relation. I got to ask people who

that is. What? Who's that guy that had his asshole wide open in the fucking picture? I don't think he has a name, dude. I think it's just a video. I think he is. Let me check. Well, I'm sure he has, obviously he has a name, but I don't think he has, like, I think he's just ass jar guy, you know what I mean? It's like Star Wars

kid. What the fuck is Star Wars kid's name? Oh, my name's Benihana, the Star Wars came. Like Benny Hawth. What the What are these names that you're piggy? That's his name.

That name's. What are you doing, Jason? I'm looking for it. He's like looking for gaping assholes. That's like, so I'm not to your friend of mine.

You're just making my job hard because I have to cut away from you every time you do that. Okay. Because it's going to show up in your fucking TV reflection. I think he's Mr. Hans or Mr.

Smiles or something like that. No, Mr. Hans was the one that got fucked by the horse, right? Oh, yes. He's like, I got fucking mounted to death. Yeah, because we talked about that on the last episode. Oh, because of your, because of your army of horses, right?

The army of forces, yes, I remember. There you go, the army of security aggressive forces. Everything comes full circle. That's right. All right. Dort snort rodin. He says, hello shot Uncle Ben, shot Uncle Ben and Andrew Garfield. I'm new to the Patreon, but I'm glad I can finally support.

Thank you, man. Uh, quick question Quick question What's the farthest Someone has gone To get your attention How far have you guys gone To get someone else's attention

So the guy's name is Goatsy The guy with his fucking ass I'm fucking wide open What the fucking somebody I used to know guy? Wild No My brain was like what Okay

Okay But you didn't have to slash my ass My ass You didn't have to turn my ass into a fucking cupboard, bro. I don't, so here's, I have a lot of stories that I could tell that I probably shouldn't. Yeah, definitely not. Yeah. But there, yeah, fuck, all the, all the good, baby.

All the good stories I have are things that I shouldn't say. Or like, maybe one of them is pretty old and it's okay. I just ignore people. There was a situation at a, at a VidCon, a while. ago. Hey-oh. That any deep lore people might might recall

some deep web show where a, you know, a foreign intruder showed up at a at a hotel room. That was kind of an interesting I'm sure you'll you'll find

a Google. Foreign intruder. This is a fucking wild day. But. Yeah, that's some wild shit. That's pretty wild. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

I've ever really gone far to get anybody else. I'm typically kind of like, you know, if you're not going to pay attention to me or whatever the fuck, like, I'm just like going to go away, you know? It's, um, like, I've never been like, I've never, like, done that thing that's in, like, all the old, like, rom-coms where it's like, you just, you harass someone into into, into liking you. Yeah, like, it's, it's a really weird thing where it's like, oh, man, you know, I, I asked her out 56 times and, like, on the 57th time, she just said yes.

And it's like, no, dude. Like, if I ask at all, which is rare, I'll ask once, and if the answer's no, I'm fucking booking it, you know what I mean? I'm never going to see you again. I'm never going to slash your tires, though. I'm never going to see you again. What the fuck? Yeah, that reminds me of the notebook where that shit wasn't, like, romantic at all. It was, like, really, it was, like, psychotic where that dude wrote her letters, like, every fucking day for, like, a year or something.

And I'm like, dude, even though, like, she wasn't receiving them, like, because their mom was. intercepted in the letters, I'm like, still, a year? Imagine, imagine trying to contact somebody for an entire year. Like, I think I would, after like two weeks, I'd be like, okay, never mind. Like, say, if I was that, like, love sick, I'd be, okay, never mind. She isn't fucking, she, she, she, she, she ain't with it. And, you can't, but you can't, like, I don't know, what do you do? Like, how do you, how do you respond to somebody who just, like, constantly how do you, you either just give in or, like, go extra hard, you know what I mean? You fucking write in your blood, fuck off, and then send it back to them.

Like, dude, no. If you keep writing at me, I'm going to have you fondled. But then you see, the issue is, then the other person gets upset, and then they get, like, I don't know, they get Ian Miles Chong to swat your dog or something. You know, it's just some fucking crazy shit happens. And then it's like, ah, damn, I should have just buried that man. I should have just married that man, so I wouldn't have got swatted and killed. Maybe flufels would still be here, you know.

You know Swat It's kind of Like, unnamoring And also like Terrifying It's just like

Nothing but terrifying It's definitely a rush Because it's like What the fuck's happening Like imagine living through that You're like You're like yo The Swat broke it to my house

That was nuts But like me They're gonna kill me They're gonna burst in It fucking shoot me Yeah I never want to I never want to see

That No that's just It's just man It's just wild shit Like the people That do it I mean man you gotta you gotta really have some some fuck shit going on your head right um like like

yeah no you gotta be you gotta be like below human that's his thing that's what makes you be crazy that's his fucking thing well dude it's like his basic attack it's like his fucking a button swat what it's it's that's that's that's his fucking that's attack one that's not even a special bro that's combo one that just keep mashing the a button he'll fucking get the swat team all that's standard melee yep That's, yeah, skill one. Imagine him trying, bro. What's his special, man?

God damn. Probably fucking, probably getting you fucking anthrax or some shit. Probably bailing anthrax to your fucking house and making your mom eat it. Oh, man. It's probably COVID or something. It's probably just COVID. I'm sure he doesn't believe in COVID. There's no way.

I'll show you. He just manufactures fucking COVID. He makes COVID. He starts pulling the fucking atoms together and fucking makes COVID. He's in Malaysia, right? He's like... Yeah, it's same difference. No, no, no, I mean, like, he could...

I mean, he could get there easier than I could, you know? Oh, true, true. I doubt you were being, like, extra racist. I was like, oh, well done. No, no, no. Do they ever find that plane, by the way? They found pieces of it. Yo.

That shit fucking exploded. They found it about it. They found a plane. They found the Michigan-Malaza flight at, like, a fucking Ford dealership. at a fucking Arby's in fucking Montana It landed safely And it's been chilling there the entire time Yeah

They've just been waiting in the lobby For fucking Richard to come back from the office To give them the paperwork so they could leave And they've been there for Like a decade Like how fucking long ago was that dude That was a while ago You know what?

It feels like that was 10 years ago But it can't be That's like way 10 years ago that Malaysia flight Malaysia flight I think it was 2014 Let me see that might have been it looks like they have a lot of planes

2014 yeah 2014 oh wait flight 370 was in March of 2014 yeah there it is March 2014 okay wow on my birthday 8th of March Hershey look at that huh I did it so I did it

All right what do we got here let's go for another question here Jerry Harry Harry hold on That's hilarious. Harry, what is this fucking name? Gerat, Gerat, Geratley? Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees.

Get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least.

At least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. The fuck? Anyway, he says, hey, Master Cueef, Mass erect, and Nurse Angel of Death.

First time patron. Hey, you. Welcome. Welcome, my guy. Welcome, welcome. What up, baby? If your uncle Jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse? Love the show and keep up the wild tangents. Are you a dad, sir? Are you a fucking dad? That's a very dad joke.

I had to read it, though, because it's a first time patron and I wanted to say hi. Welcome. Welcome to the show. That was terrible. Yes. But we appreciate it. Now change your fucking name to Jack Mehoff or something. Jack Mehaugh.

Something stupid like that. Mike Hawk or something. Mike Hawk. I fucking love that name, dude. My girlfriend's cousin made that shit up. It's fucking genius. First name, Moe, last name, Lester. Abusi

Abusi wrote in He says greetings Only Patreon I pledge that isn't Cosplayers or Hentai artists Well you know you've got a diverse range of content there I guess Game Jam design challenge Come up with a concept for a game Given a one word prompt

He says poop But you know what? I like the question. I like the premise of the question. I think poops a little bit too basic. Yeah. So I'm going to do my presidential executive order here, right? I'm going to be like, you know what, this is a good prompt in general.

What's a good one-word prompt that we can use? Ninjas. Simp. Simps good. I like it. Let's design a game based around the concept of simps. What would that be? Would that be like...

Pikmin. What? Pickman. Just Pickman? It's just Pickman. It's just Pickman. I feel like you could make a pretty compelling. Okay, so let's see.

Is it just a doom mod? You're just shooting schools up or something? No, no, no, no. It should be, no, that's in cell. That's in cell. Oh, yeah. Well, I think there's a correlation. There's crossover.

There's crossover. They're cousins. Definitely cousin terms, but they're not exactly the same. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, because like, I would say this crossover, but I feel like this would be like an RPG.

I feel like a simp game would be an RPG would be you leveling up your shit and trying to... Your quest would be like to reach the girl, right? You know what I mean? It's just like, it's actually...

Actually, no, I think about it, it's just Mario. That's Scott Pilgrim, kind of too. Yeah, kind of, yeah. Yeah, Scott Pilgrim. You just go from being a pussy getting your ass beat, getting people holding you down to playing with your balls

to the point that you eventually like hold them down and play with their balls. Then you get the girl too. And then you go to jail from playing with people's balls. Was that the plot to Scott Pilgrim? I don't think that was accurate. I mean, it had more child grooming in Scott Pilgrim, but yeah, it's about to say.

What? He was dating a high schooler, bro. He was like 25. Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler? Scott Pilgrim dated a high schooler. Way! Yo, I was, bro, I was watching, side tangent, I was watching the fucking office with Joe because he's like, he's watching it. I forget, I didn't watch a lot of that show.

I watched some of it. But there's a fucking scene where like Ed Helms is dude, he's like, they're in a high school and they're walking through. And he's like, what the fuck? That's my girlfriend. What's she doing here? And I was like, oh my God. Yo, what? Yo, I totally forgot that that was a thing.

I was like, totally. I mean, hey man, the office apparently was edgy. You had to match to it, I had no idea. I'll give him the benefit and doubt and say he's dating a teacher.

Oh, that's a better one. I was going to say an 18 year old senior. It was definitely just a high schooler. Oh. I like what Swedish's mind went though. He was like, yo. He's a teacher. No big deal. Yeah, yeah. You know, what's the big deal? That is a very big deal. Do not date a high school.

No, I'm saying unless you're in ice school. I'm not saying it's not a big deal to be dating a high school. I'm saying it's not a big deal to be dating a teacher

as a fellow adult. I think there's actually even like laws against like dating. Actually, I don't know. I'm not even going to because I was going to say like dating an 18 year old

in high school or something. I wouldn't want to do that. I think there's, of course you don't want to do that. I'm just saying I think there was like law or some, I don't know. That's why I said I sound ignorant and that's why I thought I heard something about that.

Regardless of like, So if you're like 19 and in college I thought there was something that like A student I could be it could be like a state thing Like like not it's not like federal federal I think it's something that I heard that Like some something happened to somebody

It was something weird And it was like a stipulation within a specific state And I was like that's fucking weird And that's one thing Things not being federal That's when things get wonky man Yeah Like oh you go to this fuck

It's a wildland Yeah, anything can go at any time. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Yeah, there's some weird-ass rules around. When you just have all the states just kind of making their own rules, it's just like the whole world is just Pokemon tall grass, you know? Yeah, you're just walking through, you're waiting through this wilderness, you're going to bump into something eventually that you're not going to want to see. Yeah, that's why a long time ago I used to be like, I used to consider myself like a libertarian until like I really thought about how stupid that is because of, you know,

things like this and how if things were truly libertarian and it was like truly just state's rights, then you would have backwards-ass states that'd be like, nope, you can get hang for being gay or some shit, you know? Think of how fuck the South is right now with the shit we already have. Imagine what they're full of head full range. Like, yeah, like, past six years. No federal regulation. We can't have no darkies outside, right?

We warn you. We can't see y'all. You got, what the fuck? Wait, what was the question? I don't, it was like a game. Jamming. But I think we decided that... Simp, we killed it. Yeah, we... Yeah, we knocked out of the

part. It's basically just Mario. Mario, the whole game, that whole game is just Simp Central, basically. It really is. It really is. It's just this old... It's just this Italian man who's just like... Greasy Italian this Greasy old Italian man who's simping after some like young, young princess fucking... That Gabba Ghoul

stuck in a fucking toilet and shit, and then he got sucked down some tubes in them in some fucking weird ass land. Now he's trying to fuck the princess. He's just definitely took mushrooms. He definitely went to fix the sink, found mushrooms under the sink. Took mushrooms, passed out in the bathroom. Wow.

And he ate the bunch of all the Mario games before you're going to wake up and it's going to be fucking Mario passed out in this like attractive girls bathroom. Be in his thing as he thought he finally found her. Kingsen, how did you come up with that? How did you, how did you come up with that original premise of like Mario like tripping on mushrooms? How did you figure that out? Honestly, sometimes things just come to me. That's so wildly. I don't think I've ever heard that in my life

Honestly, bro, it's it No, it is, it is original 100% 100 I'm blessed Deccrepit DeCrepit Dan wrote in So DeCrepid Dan wrote in again

I'll put it in like whatever How do you How do HIV Hepatitis C and severely gangrenous gonorrhea See this is another one Like DeCrepit Dan you got to work on your You got to work on your nicknames at the beginning Because this could be any one of us

ever consider doing a drinking podcast I love watching people get shit-faced especially the vid where Shue was drinking to a BuzzFeed article or something I would do videos drinking I don't know I would ever do That's gonna be ridiculous A podcast is so many like moving parts

And so like I gotta sink shit up We gotta be like on point We gotta like make sure not to talk over each other It would be frustrating as hell to do a podcast drunk We should make a start tank Twitch channel We should do snark tank streams That'd be pretty cool

What would we What How would we do that? It would just be the podcast Wouldn't it? I mean yeah We can just do like Maybe a version of a podcast on Twitch

Where it's just let's just fire up the press record And then just start Blow on our mics And people like it Or each other or our mics That might not be a bad idea Yeah Yeah

I'm down for that But yeah I don't know Like Sweeney's not much of a drinker you know I can drink I just don't really do it but if we're gonna do it for the fucking we're gonna do it for some fuck shit to laugh at like hell yeah I I would rather I would do a drunk stream before I did a drunk podcast I'll do a drunk stream with a heartbeat that'd be

funny yeah yeah that'd be cool that's as far as I like I'll get banned but I'll get banned on like whatever it is I'm not gonna get banned to my own channel for that I'm gonna say I'm gonna say some fuck show when I'm drunk I'm gonna say something I think of immediately and I'm like oh man I can't believe I've done this I can't believe you've done this is I can't believe you've done this the fucking look The way he glared up at him Like a kid who's got hit by his parents And he looked at them with all the fucking hatred in their hearts

Oh my God Well It appears We have reached An impasse We are at the end Of our little adventure here So once again

Actually I never said anything Welcome to the Star Tang podcast everybody I'm your host Chris Raygun This is uh I'm here with some Tom Sweeney And some black guy And now we're leaving. So farewell, take care, stay safe.

Sure. Happy, stay healthy. Yeah, so before we go, obviously, I got to do this little wrap-up shit. Every time. Every time. This is what separates. Oh, my God, the Patreon didn't update. The men from the little boys.

Oh, that's good. That's real fucking good. What, maintenance thing or what? No, they just changed the... It's different. No. Yeah. They change the UI. Fuck.

Fantastic. You son of a bitch. What a stupid website. Let's be serious. If Patreon doesn't stop fucking around, I'll show up to their houses. Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop, stop, stop. I hate you.

All right. We'll get this done. If you liked what you heard today on this, our beautiful show. Consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month that gets you early access to the show every single week. $5 gets you a question read on this here show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. $25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show,

which I will now do. Three, two, one. The no-dick wizard trick. Basterdson. Every time Chris says crazy, how did we even get here podcast? Leroy Jenkins, Master Chief's Armor Locked Cock, Matthew Barrett Clark, Hard Hat Skydiver, Jessica Paris, Absolute Wagon, the Army of Darkness. Wait, I've just corrected that in my head.

The Army of 101 Bananas shoving themselves down Chris's throat. All new, all different. Actual cult member. Tyler Durdon. Monkey Monk. Billy the Big Ball Brawler, a little late-term abortion with Lily Singh, Alaskan oil field trash Chris would be a twink if he cared about hygiene

I wish my dad kissed me like Tom Brady Lieutenant Lipton's famous Teabag facials Not an FBI agent Juan Punchman Marcus Shorten Mr. What the fuck have you been listening to Abusi Papa Nergel Sam Tweeney's Clusty Sam Zoss

Tim Pools Swimming Pool of Alex Jones's drool That's pretty good That's a good one That's pretty good Game Controller of 25 Danny DeVito's spooky

Lovecraftian draconian Dickbone Coojo FD Sweenies weenie Sleavy Murder Ascended David Connolly The Dislective that feels Chris's pain Dunderhead

JFK's convertibles Deal so great Your head will explode The bottom eyes Jesus Is my drooling divine savior Haco One meter long fetus Moto Zellet

Mike Tyson's left hook Gwalar Hero Shima Spicy Mushrooms Horrible Henry Hinterland The Horny Hamtaro Hentai hoarder A Level 1 Cleric

Derek's Unyielding Sex Drive Dumbie Dick Dave Simp on head Big Dudes 444, Heartless Wretch, aka the Black Man from Staten Island, Jada Smith's broken knees.

Holy shit, I forgot about that. Oh shit, that fucked it to her knees broke. That was, I totally forgot about that. That's cool. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy. The Ghost that lived in the apartment above Chris and Sweeney, Jolly old dipshit, Emperor Palpatine, Huggard Derek, the Tom DeLongstan, Carson Jones,

Keith, I found my weekly gimmick, Therian David, the Progerian Hunter, Deflated Left Aschique, America Wars, Wars, Episode 2, the Colonial, Wars, Anani's Moose, Sunny Chance, Toby Schutman, Melfis won El Cule Abrone, Richter 86, and, say it with me, King

of Appazard. There we go. That's everybody. Salam. Shalom, al-Ale-Malekam. And, by the way, there will be solo episodes of the podcast, extra ones coming very, very soon for patrons. I haven't decided, what do you guys think is the best way to do

that? Do you think it should be just like for everybody at $1, should we just put those for the 15 that we just haven't thought of a perk for yet? I did the 15, and, well, no,

you go, you go. Because, like, what if it's, the people of the 15 just didn't want those solo ones, you know? I guess.

That should be a $1 one, and I think the $15 ones should be able to get their own solos. Or like a focused podcast. We're like, we kind of like, aim ourselves at one thing.

We have a topic we talk about the whole time. It's not a bad idea. That'd be cool, a focused podcast. We actually have the focus on we're talking about. Talk about quantum mechanics.

Let's talk about, let's talk about white guilt. All right. Let's talk about white male rage, all right? Oh my God. I'll see you guys. White America hates the idea of someone coming up in this country. I'm just saying.

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