The Snark Tank - #48: Dark Tank III - Your Favorite Far Right Podcast

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

Thumbnail by twitter.com/sonleonclip Chris is literally sick but Derrick and Sweeny (and Chris at the end) are here to give your your weekly dose of garbage. Shoe, Derrick, Chris, and all your favorite far right channels are finally called out by a dubious research paper. What ever happened to the intellectual dark web? Did Jake Paul really DEFEAT a basketball player in COMBAT?!? Could Keemstar be a good boxer? Art competition for the end of 2020? Maybe!! Had some technical difficulties with Sweenys audio, so, sorry if he sounds a bit fucked. Will be fixed next time.  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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black, blackphemous. That's my, that's my birth name. Uh, don't, don't, don't check. Don't check. Don't check. I no longer go by my slave name. Yeah, that's what. Your name. Welcome to this next podcast, guys. It is another week. Unfortunately, our co-host, Chris Reagan

couldn't make it today. He's some way. fucking, he's somewhere in fucking Cancun running from fucking, I don't know, the left and the right for being from the left or the right. Yeah. But he can't make it today. He will be back next week. But you guys get under the dark tank, you know, that's not bad. That's never terrible.

It's not bad at all. You guys, you guys get to see us, you know, nice, dark, nice perfectly dark skin. Exactly, dude. Stay jealous. Just niggas at play, episode three. I love it. Why isn't, well, that probably because we wouldn't make it in the search engine if we had a real podcast called Niggas at play, right? Yeah, because we wouldn't, we wouldn't be able to be looked up easily.

Yeah, look it. What if we, if we'd had asterix though, like if it was N-I-A-A-A-S, do you think then we'd be searched up? I think that would still not be able to be searched up. I can. What about like Negroes, but we spell it different? Like, say knees, like knees on a body and then like growing? grow like like fucking like plants do let's not do either of those

look okay this is the dark take podcast welcome first and foremost we want to say thank you for the supporters we have had exponential growth and actually we've noticed that now that Spotify is doing its wrap up for the year we're getting a ton of people messaging us saying that we are

their number one listen to podcasts which is that's pretty awesome unfucking believable um that's pretty I never thought I don't amount to anything really but uh but but to be a like podcast really boat appetite chef's kisses man i mean it's it's pretty funny that i've for a while i've tried to do different podcasts since like 2012 with my friends and then it just never really

panned out and then this kind of was it it wasn't plan chris's snark tank was a thing that existed and then i messaged you one day and it's like yeah what's up and then uh And then my perception because Chris keeps, like, dying or he keeps being kidnapped or something keeps happening to him. I was like, oh, there's no way this dude's going to be like down to start another thing. He's too busy or he's dead. It's either one or the other. Too busy or he's dead. Like, something keeps happening to him.

Oh, my God. Yeah. So, yeah, it came together. And it's cool. And I'm so grateful. It's so fucking cool to see. It is a blessing, dude. The cool stuff that you guys do, the art, the animations.

Dude, people keep tagging like, they didn't even make them. They're like, hey, I found another snark take animation. It's insane, dude. People that didn't even make them are like finding them. I'm like, oh, shit, I didn't see that. It's wild, bro. The lovely you from the start. First of our porcupus, one of our fucking people that are images all the time,

follow him guys. He's fantastic. He makes some great shit. All of the fan art, all of the design. It's just mind blowing. It's like, what the fuck? Like, I never thought it would have got this bit, you know? I thought it would have been like a niche thing at best.

But we got some real growth and some real steam behind us. So we appreciate you guys. Thank you for all of it. Hell, yeah. We're probably about like a couple of weeks away from getting a Spotify deal like Joe, like Joe Robes. That Spotify deal would be crazy because that means our lives are different at that moment. Once you offer that many millions of dollars, you're like, I don't got to behave no more.

I don't got to act. At that point, I'm just a bunch of people in the streets. And then you know what I'm doing? I'm stuff. Put money on them. Yeah, exactly. And then they'll wake up happy. They're like, oh, fuck.

This nigga fucking knocked me out. I have like a third of what I was going to make this year. That's awesome. Yo, it works, man. It works Spotify. If you're listening, give us your money, please. We need it, man. See how small my fucking room is?

Give me your fucking money, yo. My room is smaller than yours. We have the smallest fucking rooms. I don't think your room is smaller than mine. My room was not designed to be a room and it's ice cold because it's not even insulated. It was like an extra thing added. My room? was clearly a bedroom from the fucking 40s because it's so fucking hot in here.

It's before the planet started warming up. Literally every time I'm done streaming, I got to go outside and ring out my fucking shirt and come sit back down to here. My stream is like, Kingston, you're fucking sweating. And I'm like, I'm good, guys. Let's talk about Spider-Man. I'm fucking dying. That's crazy. We have like opposite problems.

Walt minds just- Same problem. Just opposite temperature. opposite temperatures because it's it's ice cold to the point where I can sit well here I have it I have a heater I do have a heater but the problem is it it just works too well it's hard to find a balance because my room's so tiny it's so tiny if even if you put it on like 70 degrees the temperature it's still ultra hot it gets hot so fast it just doesn't it can't figure out the temperature because my room it's just it's fun basically well whatever I don't know why I'm complaining about this room because probably in a month and a half I'm going to be out of this fucking house. That's true. We're getting rid of this house and I'm not 100% sure I'm going to move. I'm looking at my friend keeps bugging me.

So I might move a little bit further east in this, that's Sydney, Norwalk. Fucking trash. Trash city. I don't like it, but it's, it's cheap, bro. Yeah. Either that or I'm just getting the fuck out of California entirely. That's my plan too I have to know when I'm getting a fuck out of California

I'm fuck this place I hate it Hey Kelly Yeah problem is I'm not really at the spot where I don't feel comfortable with just getting my own place right now I don't I'd rather I like I want a roommate Just so I can you know money fluctuates too much Doing the online thing for me Yeah

So I mean for you too right If you're if you're fucking streaming and stuff It's always gonna be a little bit different So I don't feel confident in being like I don't want to sweat ever And be like oh shit it something stupid happened my channel went down or whatever whatever happened uh you know i i lose a bunch of support because i did something retarded you know you just you just don't want to risk it

after that i i still saw like i'm i'm looking i'd prefer to have a roommate but i don't know anybody out of state to like say if i were to move in another state and be like hey you want to fucking move with me bro i don't know anyone like that everyone's like i'm good but uh for me for me we're probably going to go down for the south my girlfriend really like San Diego a lot. She loves SD. She's Mexican, so that's probably why she likes Eddie. To be fair. Honey, I love you, but it's true. Let's be real.

The reason why I like Detroit so much, you know, like it just makes sense. But yeah, if she wants to move down to SD, and I would like it there since I like San Diego a lot, it's really pretty. It's like what California, it's like what L.A. is broadcast to people from other states. That's what S.D. is. It's like, oh, it's pretty

beaches, pretty people. It's clean. It doesn't smell like shit. They're homeless. I was like some fucking homeless guy pissing sitting down the street. He was laying, he was getting down

his legs 40s pissing the street and I was like this motherfucker dog I hate you. I've seen way too many dicks just

just driving. Like there's this they just I saw, I don't know if I said mentioned this on the podcast

where I was getting some, some, some, uh, a terriaki bowl or whatever. It's just

chicken bowl from this place called Golden Bowl. And then right next to it there's this is chick. She didn't even

seem homeless. Her close. seemed fine, but she just started taking a dump, like right next to the place. And I'm like, what? You're not even, she's not even hiding. Like, she wasn't even trying to go behind a bush and be courteous. And I'm like, man, I fucking hate this city so much. L.A. bro. L.A. bro. It's just, it's just fucking filthy. It's pretty wild. It's a filthy fucking place. But, um, yeah. Thank you for tuning in to the podcast. We were supposed to do that. What's a little intro thing. Hey, have you noticed that we both are wearing white

Teas today? I'm wearing all white right now, so I got white shorts on as well. Dude, so am I. No way. Yeah. What the fuck's happening? We did not go to the day, man. Yeah. I felt good today.

I woke up and I was like, yo, I'm going to wear all white before I stream. Took a shower. I got myself looking like nice and like half, half like, you know, someone that has a shelter, but they don't really go to it. And I was like, let me put on all white today. And I streamed and I had a fantastic stream. And I was like, yo, speaking of my stream, if you guys want to follow me on Twitch is a Twitch.tv slash Tom Sweeney 1278 no E. Remember that. You guys want to follow me.

It's a great channel. We talk about a bunch of bullshit. That's actually really important, man. That no E is really important because I notice people, it's like half. It's like 50, 50 of how people spell it. Yeah, I put no E. It can get kind of confusing. Oh, God. Can you see your mind? I don't want to talk to you about. It's hilarious. What? So apparently there was some dude on, so I made an Instagram account for my, for just like my internet persona.

And like, there was some guy that was faking hype who he was me on fucking on Instagram. And I was just like, what the fuck? Someone's faking me. I felt flatter at first. You fucking made it, dude. You made it, bro. I was like, what wants to be me? Oh, fuck.

Oh, yo, that's crazy. I don't know why. My credit score's pretty good. But like, that's about it. That's all I got. You sure you were real nigger? And. Yeah, it's crazy, man.

This happens when you have money in your family growing up, man. They teach you like, oh, your credit score is important. But so I was like, oh, that's crazy. And I was like, hey, dude, what's up, man? He was like a fake account. And I was like, no, it's not a fake account, but you're the fake account. Like, I just, he didn't know that he was. It's like when you find out you're the clone.

It's just like, what the, what? I'm not fake. You was like, fucking, did you play shout of a hedgehog? Yeah, yeah. Remember when Shadow found out he wasn't the first clone, he was another clone, he was just like... You're jamming your favorite song, and while you aren't missing a beat, you could be missing a signal from your body. It's an S-OS from your kidneys, and it doesn't sound like music at all. It's silent.

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It's like, nah, bro. I'm the original. Like straight up has like real mental illness and he legitimately thought he was you. I hope I'd pray for him, bro. I pray for him. But he was like, yeah, I was like, hey, dude. You know, like I think it's funny what you're doing. You can totally be like a fan account, but please don't, please don't say you're me.

You know, that's not really respectful. and he blocked me and he just, his account got you made it. Oh shit. I was like, that's me. That's crazy,

man. It's weird, bro. It is crazy. I'm, why the fuck do you want to be me? You're not going to get pussy for being me, bro. You never know, man.

I don't even get pussy for being me, bro. I don't even, I don't get shit, man. All I get is, all I get is yelled at with my girlfriend. That's it. There you go.

That's it. Yeah. I fucking, I comment shit on Twitter and they get yelled out of my girlfriend for comment and stupid shit. I mean, look,

If you don't put that energy out there, you're not going to profit pussy wise. You have to put that energy out there. And the same thing with me where I don't put that energy towards like, hey, contact me and throw yourself out me. And so it doesn't happen. But I know people. I know creators that, you know, they like to be like, hey, I have a dick. You should ride on it. And then it's fucking.

And then their DMs are full. Like my shit's You got powerful friends. You got powerful friends out there that are just like, yo man. Yeah. They, they want pussy and they want it now,

bro. It's my pussy and I need it now. Yeah. It's wild. Like, what are you, what are you trying to be me for, man?

It's like, what? I'm such a, I'm such as a regular dude. I stream sometimes. I want a podcast. That's like, I don't know,

like barely. decently successful. Like it's, it's not, nothing special. Just be yourself. Yeah, well, look, I'll also say that you had an audience

before you were even making content. So that's something to consider. That's something to consider that. That's something, I guess. There's fucking, there's videos. Like, say, for whatever reason, on my, on my metal channel,

Black Metal, when I log into that, recommended videos pop up of, you know, Chris Reagan, but, like, they're always you. Like, you are in the videos. It's funny. It's weird how to-

It's fucking weird, man. It's fucking weird, where I'm like, wait, are you going to recommend, like, any other Chris Reagan videos? But it's like,

no, the algorithm's like, he likes this black guy or something. It likes, it's fucking weird. You're a black guy based on where you're going on there, like, oh,

I'm going to show him this contest similar to him with this black man in it. You should keep watching, bro. YouTube algorithms races is, Fuck. That's what it is. It's just smart. That's tactical thinking, bro, you know? It's, I mean, it's, it's, look, it's, it's one of those.

It's racially charged. It's richly charged. It's rich. It's one of those things where it's like when, you know, it's, it's like the positive racism where, like, say if somebody charges you with like, oh, you must be good at basketball, which is racist to say technically to a black person. But it's also like a compliment because being good at basketball is pretty good. You know what I mean? It's just. Innocent prejudice. It's a prejudice that's like it doesn't really hurt you. But the algorithm being like, this is a black male. I'm going to give, I'm going to, I'm going to show him and promote stuff with black males in it.

It's kind of. Hey, man. It knows it's targeted audience, bro. You got to, I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you, YouTube. Keep doing your shit. I'll go. It's all right.

I argue with you. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying it's, it's a little funny. It's a little fucking funny. but I do. I'm pretty sure we have to do an I pretty sure it's supposed to be an intro. Like I'm pretty sure

what's intro and I don't remember it entirely. Do you remember the intro? I don't know. Something about promoting stuff, right? We talk about the merch and the, yo. Yeah, we have. Yeah, the merch and wait, wait, wait, wait,

so, so we usually say, thank you so much if you guys want to support the podcast, right? We talk about the snark tank. Patreon. Yes, which is Snart. It's what you call it. It's Patreon slash Snark Tank, right?

If I'm mistaken, for $1. month you get early access to the videos $5 a month gets your name red at the end of the... No, $5 a month gets you access to the Discord, right? I don't even remember what it is, dude. It is our fucking podcast. Chris is the one that does all this shit. He's not here right now

I'm sorry. He's gonna get a modified one. Yeah, you know what, dude? Yeah, they know. If you support a nigger, just... Supporting it, you know? That's it's important to be sports. Also, you guys, it's just like 40-something episode, you know? If you're here now, you know what we do. You know what we do. You know we're about, right?

You know, if you're getting on Epstein's fucking plane, and if you get Epstein's playing by yourself, you know what you're about. You know what's about that. You know exactly what's going on. You're not going there to get fucking, you know, what does it call? Caviar and Biscuits. You're going there to get fucking, you know, you know. Dude, everyone went to that island. What the

fuck, bro. Everybody, bro. I'm scared that I'm going to look back in my grandma was on that island one time. I'm like, God, fucking damn it. She was in New York. She was in New York for a year. period of time. God, shit. She was there to grab. What were you doing there? I could count the amount of times I've been on a plane in my adult life and probably my name's

in that black book. There's just something about like everyone's there. Like it doesn't make any sense. I'm like, yo, what? It can't, okay, because here's the weird thing. Is there really, I mean, is there that many fucking perverts that just having to be powerful? You know what I'm saying? Like the correlation? Like what is it? Are you, is it like this? You know how there's the correlation of, uh, you being a Catholic priest and then you, uh, touching, uh, fucking ultra boys or whatever? So always say, are they perverts then join? Or do they join and become perverts? You know what I'm saying? I think what happened is when you have enough money, you go crazy eventually, you know? Because the idea is that how to, it's, comfortability is not what humans are meant to achieve. We're meant to strive for it. We're meant to, we're meant to, I agree to. I. I agree. I figure of that. We're meant to want more. But once we get what we want, excuse me, our brains go fucking

cuckoo for cocoa buffs. And we start doing shit that doesn't make any sense. And what's something that's super fucking horrible and only monsters do? The shit that epi was fucking dealing out, you know? He was like, hey, man. I got, I got little ones for the

low, which is super fucked up. I think it's terrible. But I mean, you got to get to throw someone. You got, you got you got to get your, you got to get your, you know, your fix somewhere. And eventually quailudes and cocaine and fucking heroin don't do it. You know? Yeah, I guess that makes sense to a certain. It's weird, though, because, you know, the, this is what I picture myself.

Like, say, if, say, like, we actually get a fucking Spotify deal with a stupid amount of money. The only thing that would change is that I have a house and a car that's paid off. I just have these things that are paid off. And then I have every single video game that I've ever wanted. And then I just play them. them all one by one. That's it. That's like, that's where I imagine that. Imagine that life. Imagine like waking up. Well, I would still go to school. I would still finish my nursing stuff. But like, I'd be able to give that 110% focus, but I have no worrying about anything else.

So I'd probably be a better student, honestly. Sure. So I'd be like, all I have to do is just wake up, study for like, well, like three, four hours a day and then live my life that is without any sort of one thing. I think, I think also think it comes with a certain degree of mental health, you know. Like you gotta have to be mentally healthy to understand that like you have this money, but that does not mean this is where your life ends. It's not, this is not the peak of your life. Sure. Because money is the security you have is probably, this is going to be secure.

I'm secure now. But I can still give more to the world other than my money other than who I am. I could try to benefit the world in more ways. And I feel like they don't feel that because I feel like what happens when you, when you get super rich, a lot of them get terrified of becoming poor again. So it turns into that like that cycle of like I don't want to give people my money. I'm scared of them and become poor. But just something leads you to be fucking crazy too.

But for me, like if I became super rich and then after I did like a bunch of philanthropy work, I was just like at a comfortable life. I'd be like, I'm okay with this. Yeah, I guess that. I mean, that makes sense. There's something about, uh, I mean, I know that me having money would definitely relieve a ton of fucking stress. So then I can just.

purely focus on like this stuff that I want to do like music for example there's things that I want to do and then and then it's also it's like I only have a small window to work on it and shit so I get it it's just weird that some of these people just take these leaps though because I'm like I don't know man I just

it's a weird thing to think about like since we're not on that level since we can't really fathom it I can't really fathom me like oh I have all this money I'm bored I want to fuck kids now like I just there's something it's such a giant leap fucking said that you just said that.

It's such a giant leap. That's what these people are... I mean, like, fucking... I just... There's just so many people that are looking at fucking Bill Clinton. He's been on the plane seven billion times. And I'm like, dog, Trump's kicking it with Epstein too, man. Like, they're all doing it.

They're all doing it. And like, you got to point it all out, man. He can't just single out one person because you don't like them. I mean, like, dude, they're all flying to the island. That's notorious. That's notorious for being fucking... just degenerates. Like literally it's not a point that people knew about it

before this became big. Before this we came, but people were still talking about like Epstein Island being fucked. And people were still fucking going and left and right. Like what's like, what? Like I couldn't go. That's like, that's like, how to explain it? That's like you knowing that this place is like known for having clan rallies and you know it. You know what it's notorious for.

And then you still have the gall to go there knowing that you get associated with that. I'm going to still check this out, dog. I'm going to still go check it out. It's okay. You can say whatever you want about it, but like, yo, they know how to throw a good party. It's like there's a lynching party, bro. It's a good party because you don't see those every day. But I don't know, man.

Speaking of a little bit of on the same subject, because we know we have a lot. We have a lot of things to talk about. We have a lot of things talk about. But one thing I want to talk about because it kind of involves politics a little bit, but it also involves the podcast. And we're going to have to talk about this in depth when Chris is back. but I just wanted to mention it because it just broke. Because Shuan had shared this article or something that showed a bunch of names of all these political figures and where they align, where they lie on the spectrum.

And pretty much all of us and people that you know that are either center left or just full-blown left are all in far right. just all of them Like as long as I'm not there I'll be fine bro As long as Well technically you are there Because the snark tank is in the far right column I'm

Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god It said the snark tank podcast It literally said the snark tank I took a screenshot I took a screenshot to like To be like

That's that's this silly but there's other people that are there's a i think there was one one of them said like the progressive voice or something like it's in their name and it's in the far right column i'm like who's sorting this shit out and it's just funny gotta be a bot there's got to be a bot because i was just like who this doesn't make any sense it was the same thing with the do you remember there was this thing called like the inner intellectual dark web it was like joe rogan and and and his friends. It was like Sam Harris,

who's kind of a left-leaning intellectual. Who was it? There was Dave Rubin that was a part of it, Jordan Peterson. What was the other fucking Ben Shapiro? And then it was some other professors that were left-leaning, like Brett Weinstein, I think. It was these people that they're all like intellectuals, except for, you know, Dave Rubin and Joe Rogan just kind of like

absorbs knowledge, but he's not the one that's like philosophizing and shit, right? But one of them came up with a term called the intellectual dark web, which was very cringe, but it got spun into it being like a very far right thing. And somebody made like,

you've seen Charlie from that's always sunny with that conspiracy theory thing where you string and all that shit together. So it was like that. The graph was just a bunch of people's names and it's like, this person's associated with this person, this person, this person's been on this channel, this and that.

And it was just bullshit. Like there was like, oh, it showed how I'm somehow connected to the most racist like person because I was on this channel and then this channel was on this channel. And then it was like it was bullshit though. Like a lot of it wasn't even accurate. And it was like this was the craziest shit. And this is just as weird that they just were. I don't know. It's, it's just weird.

But I do believe that there's people that would just like that. I remember contrivance the podcast? Yeah. So it's kind of like one of those scenarios where they just half look into something and they kind of think that, oh, I heard that so-and-so is this. And then that's it. So insane, dude. Look, look, guys, look, I, I am pretty fucking far left, man.

I am, I am. You're essentially a Bernie bro. I'm a, literally I'm a Bernie bro. Like, I fucking, I can, I'm, I can, I'm, I'm a progressive. but I am a liberal. Like I'm not... Yeah. I know Chris and I know you too.

We're all... You are more center left, but you are definitely still left leaning. Yeah, there's... And then Chris is pretty left. Yeah, Chris is all the way left. It's just, it's one of those things that it's like, oh, there's those people that I consider to be ideological zealots.

They're fucking... Because everybody has... Everybody lands somewhere on the political spectrum, but then they also become dogmatic about it. And then the people that are like that, they're the ones that you're criticizing our team, you must be the other team. Because that's how dogma works, right?

It's just like say, if you are a religious person, in the Bible, it says you're like you're with us or you're against us. This is what your Lord says. Essentially, if you're not saved and you're not with them, you're fucking damned. It's one or the other. and a lot of people treat it the same way. It's fucking dogmatic. So they think that because I've spent a lot of time shitting on left ideologues, the ones that were insane, because I don't give a shit about people that are just moderately, moderate or liberal or conservative or whatever. And then I've actually lended myself to have conversations with people that are conservative. They're like, oh, he must be conservative. And in my mind, that's not how things work. I'm like, what are my politics? They're not conservative. I'll, I was sure. I'm trying to think to myself, and I'm probably going to make a video because of this, to say, like, what do I believe that can be considered conservative? And I was trying to think, I'm like, not, there's really nothing.

Because I just, I've always like that. My whole shtick on my channel was the radical citrus. I was selling fucking shirts, right? So, but I was like, that's my, so if you watch my channel, you fucking know. But if you just casually, like, oh, I've seen him in this, then maybe you can make your educated guess was. Oh, I seen him. He once talked to fucking four years ago. He talked to Paul Joseph Watson, so he must be conservative.

I'm like, I mean, maybe Paul Joseph Watson thought I was, but I'm not. You know, I never said like, oh, I want, I want conservative values. I miss, I miss the when we used to beat women. I miss fucking, I miss the 50s. We used to give them a good old pop when they would mouth off and they would stay home and pop out babies. I fucking. Good old pop when they would mouth off. I don't give a shit what you say.

Your baby's being born no matter what. And then, and then I ain't going to give your baby a dime, even if you can't fucking take care of it. You know, I'm pro-life, but then I'm not because I don't care about the baby once it pops out. That's, that's, anyway, that's just the mentality. I don't have that mentality. That shit was so heavy. I started getting sick here, and I was like, oh, man. I'm going to give you a baby, and I'm going to hit you.

You have the baby. It's like, what the fuck? What is this, dude? Those are those, these core trad values, man. Like, I don't, I don't, like, I don't give a shit. Like, look, look at me. Do I look like I have any traditional values? I have a fucking video game character on my fucking neck.

Like, I, I, I have giant holes in my ears. Like, I, I'm just, I'm very, like, I'm an artist, and I'm a very live and let-live person. You know, that's why when I was younger, I would say over a decade ago, I kind of considered myself a libertarian because I was like, oh, state's rights makes the most sense to me in a sense that it is more of a live and let live thing. But then when I got a little bit smarter, I was like that's dangerous because some some backwards-ass places. Like fucking Alabama and fucking Texas where you can fucking execute retarded people. You know, like that is like, whoa, okay.

I think I don't know, man. I think I I hate politics. I unfortunately was like really into political science when I was younger. And it just bewildered me because I figured out the problems before everyone else and people that are working on the problems figure them out. And I'm just like, this is all fucked up. The system is broken. And I was just like this is very broken. I don't know why we don't just change the system.

And I feel like if I keep saying that out loud. Yeah. I mean if I say that out loud, I'll get shot in the face. I don't need that. If you're the leader, you will. Because that's what it is. Like if I get big enough and I'm like, one day I'm like, look at this. They're all against us.

It's us against them. And out of nowhere, man, Lily's going to have to clean off fucking cherry pie off her fucking dress. Because I'm going to get a head blown the fuck off. That's how I feel like say if, say for example, if Joe Rogan, he's such, he has such a large platform. If he became like an advocate or something or a political like whatever, he's just very, he becomes extremely political and he's like we need to change the system we need to flip it over his head instead of being like endorsing Bernie Sanders like he did if he would be like well look I do endorse this guy but here I know the problem is the D&C is going to cheat him out so he's not going to win anyway so

we need to fix that problem first if he started talking about that shit then it would be like hmm we might need to explode his head you know we might need to make sure he's gone to be very real I think if Bernie Sanders would have won the presence he would have got killed oh oh i i i i i'm famously would have got killed somebody would have been like oh man bernie sanders fell down the steps last night look i for some reason he found a bunch of bullet holes in his head for some for some like he just he just fucking he's just at a rally and then fucking somebody just drops an entire bus on him so it's fucking bus on some fucking spider-man shit that's some fucking video game shit dog a whole bus fuck is don't fall

What is a bus doing up? Got a crane that suspended a bus. Fucking 200 feet in the air. Robbed it, bro. Just so brazen. Like they're like this guy. Like Epstein getting fucking murked. It was so brazen.

I think they would step it up for Bernie Sanders. Like, oh, excuse me. Oh, you're going to make me pay taxes. Because I made billions. You're going to make me pay taxes now? I'm not going to be exempt anymore. Hmm. And then they're just going to load up like this fucking like three school bus.

like three of them do you I'm sure a school bus that falls from that high has like area of effect damage even if you don't get hit by the bus itself you're still just gonna get

knocked the fuck back by what it lands and you're gonna take fucking like splash damage it's gonna be so much fucking garbage oh my god dude I was

I never see GI Joe the second one uh the one with like the rock's in it or something yeah I'd seen it, but I really don't remember it. There was a point where they had big-ass metal rods, and they just dropped those rods from space,

and they used those instead of nuclear warheads, and they fucked up Paris, and it was so funny because they dropped. It was this fucking big-ass metal rods that just fell down. They looked like this, actually. I got my school drive, but they looked like these things, but they were gigantic, and they dropped them from space,

and they fucking leveled Paris. So many people died, man. No more Krasn. ever. It was fucking insane. They fucked all the croissants on this. This means war. That's just it was wild. I was like, damn, bro.

That's a, you should use those instead of nuclear weapons, man. The damage yield was like four times of a nuclear warhead. I mean, it makes sense, man. Like, think about, think about fucking a meteor right. It's just metal that enters our atmosphere and is on fire and then slams into the earth at tens of thousands of miles per hour. And then it just creates. the fucking worst, the most devastation that are, that are, you know, that the world's seen.

So it makes sense. That's crazy. Just throw metal. I've always liked that scene of, uh, in which one it was it the, which Avengers? It was the one with Thanos, the Infinity War. In the game or Infinity War? When he fucking, like, just takes pieces of the moon and then throws that at Iron Man, that shit's so fucking nuts. Like when they're on Titan.

How do you throw the moon at somebody? That's so fucking ignorant. Like, I wish, I was hoping that he was going to just, he was so just, just, annoyed. He was so tired of fighting that he was going to throw the entire moon and just just kill everyone. That's some like in comic books, Thanos shit. That's not

like MCUQ Danos. Like, in comic books, then it's, go to the moon and shove it at the planet. You'd be like, yo, what the fuck, bro? And everybody would die on that planet. That's what I'm talking about, man. I was, I was like, they need to step it up in, and they need to, like, I'm looking forward and saying another 10 years,

they're going to reboot everything. They're going to bring in, um, they're actually going to bring in death this time. and then they're just gonna be fuck and there's gonna be fucking that there's gonna be fucking I wanted real than else but like it's hard to translate that into come movies it's way too it's I totally but I'm just hoping that like oh we did this

before let's do the real shit but but most importantly though I want 30 minutes of fucking though I want like I just want them just I want him to tame death and then just just just give it her you know oh my God

I can't stand dude him just like just like banging that skull face too like you know Oh my God. You apparently she's pretty thick, dude. She's pretty thick. She just has like no face. She says no face.

By the way, she is cheeked. I have a nice painting of her. And yeah, she looks good, man. They drew in all the right places. She's just absolutely double-same. Doesn't have any. A face, you know, but like, hey, man. Can you, do you think you could bang a body and then with the skull attached to it?

I don't even know. It has to definitely be alive. because if it's not alive I don't know if it's alive then my mind could travel to I'm fucking a dead body what's wrong with me right now Yeah there's no okay

So it definitely has to be alive It's completely sentient Completely aware and conscious Turned like Why you're giving it Why are you giving it to her fucking you know From behind it's doggy style

It turns around And then just a skull Just staring at you like fucking Skellador And it chatters And then it's just That's that's all it gets You can't speak, but it's just Just chatting his teeth

What would you fuck me? I'm like, what am I doing? What am I doing? What have I done? I'm, I'm, I've played too much. Would you finish? Would you finish though? No.

No? I don't have balls, bro. I can't, I can't do that. I just can't, I can't do that. I just, I get scared. See, I, hmm, I think I would try because, you know, I'm in the moment. I'm in the zone. And then that's probably that would be enough to be like, all right, empower through it.

Because remember, still cheeked up. So everything, everything's intact. Everything's tap except for the fucking face. And you know, the face is like, people are like, oh, you turn her over and bend her over. And if there's no, we don't got to worry about it, you can see the ears with that. But it's like, yo, but if I take a look at that fucking vacuous face with no fucking flesh, just bones, her eyes are lights that are inside of her skull. All right. Let me take a step back. I'll take a step back from the love man. I don't know, man.

So do you think, let's just say your girlfriend, she just, you know, you're just walking, you know, you guys are out on a day, you know, you're about to go eat. You open the door for her, you turn around, and then she just has a skull face. That's it. I'm going to scream. I'm going to scream and like, you know, like, look, I've learned I can do this when I'm really scared. When I'm really scared, I'm really good at backing up very fast. Like, I do like anime, like Naruto jump backwards. Like, like the most I've gotten was like four. I jumped backwards four times and I was far away from somebody. And I was like, what the fuck's going on here?

If I saw that, I would just literally teleport back like fucking Rio Hiajabusa. And it's me like, what the fuck? My girlfriend's face is gone. And then I'll ask someone else, do you see my face? That face is woman over there. They do see it and they see nothing wrong, though. Oh, that's it. I got, that's it.

If they acknowledge she doesn't have a face, but they don't freak out about it, that's it, man. Yeah, what are you fucking, what are you facephobic? What the fuck? And they start giving you shit. That's it, man.

I'm going to write that book, man. I'm going to write that book. I'm like, I'm Kingston Jameson. And these are my final days. And then it's going to be all of nowhere. there's going to be some fun wild it's going to happen like oh my god man splits adam in downtown manhattan and levels the whole entire city i can't be a part of that i'm with it man so yep we have questions and stuff we try to get to but derrick let's let's let's put your piece first before we get to

the the thing we're supposed to be talking about at the beginning when we forgot you got so sidetracked i mean we should we should we should jump into it because that's kind of important i it is important we got what the hell i don't even know how we got to this lane or your fucking what would you even call that? Like a scold bitch? I don't even know, dude. I don't even know what you would call. I don't got time, man.

Okay, anyway. I can't. Nah, man. Yeah, so we can't, we can't skip over it. We can't skip over it because it's actually, it's pretty big and it's pretty disappointing, I will say. Oh, man, the whole hood cried. Definitely the hood was crying that night.

The hood was like, God damn, bro. Fucking so. Reluctantly, uh, Jake Paul. had a boxing match over the weekend, you know, the undercard of Mike Tyson versus Roy Jones Jr. And Jake Paul was set to box Nate Robinson, you know, former NBA, an extremely athletic person. And he got fucking destroyed. He got floored, bodied, any other adjective you want to use or adverb, whatever the hell. I'm sorry, I need to go back to school.

but he just everything that could have gone wrong for Nate went wrong he got too nervous he he wasn't his adrenaline was at like 5,000 percent and he kept trying to rush him like he was

he was like I wouldn't even say like level changing like you're trying to like you're trying to shoot for in wrestling he was like trying to just like tackle him or something he was just too amped up He couldn't just sit back and just be like, all right, what's happening? Where Jake was so calm and looked very good for being his first professional fight. Or a second, right?

I don't fucking know. Whatever. I think it's a second professional fight. And he fucking, he knocked him out clean, man. I mean, he fucking flopped like a fucking fish, dude. Nate hit the ground so damn hard to the point where my friend thought it was fake. My friend thought like, oh, this dude's fucking selling. It's so, but I was like, no, this guy

He fucking kicked his ass so bad. That shit hurt me, bro. Deadji did better than Nate Robertson did, bro. He did, but the thing is, I will say, Jake was looking good, man. Jake, I will say, man, I saw Jake, and I keep forgetting to look this guy up. Jake fought a jujitsu expert, BJJ expert years ago, and he did okay, relatively okay, because Jake, he wrestled, you know, in his school,

and grade school, him and Logan Paul. So they're athletes. They know how to like combat sports. They're combat sports athletes, which is a major advantage because just being athletic doesn't mean they're going to be good at combat sports. You know, because it's a totally different thing. Like it's something like, say, where I can hit a bag for 12 rounds, no problem. But then...

Hitting a person that's moving around is jumping around you, moving yourself, it's hard. I'm gassed after one round of just, Three fucking minutes. I'm like, damn, dude. I mean, I'm not in superior shape anyway. But it's just I'm going at my pace, even when I think it's not my own pace, when I'm picking up the pace hitting the bag. But then when somebody, like you said, someone's moving around and typically you're hit,

you're, you don't typically, you're punching kind of mid-level to your range and your body when you're hitting the bag, opposed to like sign to try to either target somebody's face. If you're tall, you got to hit down or you got to punch up. It's a whole different thing, man. It's insane. Yeah, and God damn, man, I did not. It was so embarrassed. I don't know what happened, dude.

I don't know. I just, I can't, I can't even understand. Like, I don't, like, even Jake winning. Even Jake winning, if he wins, he wins, you know. Like, he clearly had way more boxing practice. He has the money to have people that are, like, real boxers training. Oh, yeah. He's getting good training, you know.

Yeah, like, he's getting good training. He's learning. the craft of the sport, you know, like, I, I'm not going to say I could beat Jake Paul. Maybe in my peak when I was like an athlete, like fucking starting power forward on my basketball team, if I train in boxing more and I focus more on kickboxing, I have more of a chance than I do now. But he was, dude, he was just not fighting well. Like it was just no, he wasn't fighting him well. He kept trying to get on, he was getting under his arm.

He didn't stay in the pocket because if, first thing, first thing, thing ever people that fight anyone. If you're fighting someone that is bigger than you, you have to get in the pocket. You have to get into the point where they can't throw a fully wound-up punch at you. And you have to avoid getting grappled to that's part of the whole all of fighting and shit like that. But like he was just like rushing him and then getting pulled back and then backing away too much. I'm like, bro, you're just, you're handing him the fight, dude.

You're giving Jake the whole fight. Like, did he train? Well, it's one of those things like Mike Tyson says. here's this famous quote that says everybody has a plan until they get punched on the face and that's exactly what happens where you've been training all this time

you've been doing well in sparring and stuff and like oh I think I'm ready then you step up to somebody who's legitimately trying to take your head off and then all of that shit just goes out the window you're like fuck you gotta get beat up man you gotta it's a real thing man to be able to people people say they love

fratting and they would love to have the idea of fighting they're like look until you get your ass beat one time real really fucking bad you have no clue what a fight is. Because you can't, you can't, if you can't calm yourself down,

this is a mission where you're already getting fucked up, you're going to panic in a fight. Yeah. You're just going to go into a fight. You're going to get hit one time too hard. You're going to be like, what the fuck's going on? You're going to try all this dumb shit

to beat this person, and they're going to try to run it time, and the person's going to take their knee. They're going to connect it to your face a few times. And then you're going to be in a really, really, really, really bad situation.

Yeah. But the Tyson-Roy don't think was fucking amazing. That was fucking fantastic. That was, I think we can all agree that that was all. Actually, I saw some people saying it was boring, but I think they're almost like, they're like less than casual fans.

But if you're a fan, if you're a fan of boxing, that went infinitely better than you thought it was going to. Because they're old as fuck. You were thinking like, oh, man, I hope that they don't get gas. Dude, Tyson look fantastic. Bill. Like, he looks great. He's so old.

He looks great. And after eight rounds, dude, that motherfucker was ready to go full 12 he wasn't even that tired like Roy was fucking gas dude like he was more tired he looked he looked better than he didn't he was younger

because Texas is famous for not going more than six yeah he looked like he got a more he got he went like 10 more he was fucking he was taking he paste his punches out and everything and I was like yo if this went another round he could have killed Roy Jones Jr. would have dude if this would have been a full 12 rounds he absolutely would have got that because Roy was noticeably gassed and and he's been much more active than Tyson has been

because Tyson fucking full-blown quit for a while. Yeah. Where he's like, I don't do anything. He's like, I don't even fucking run. I don't do shit. And then you got fat. Yeah, he got fat as fucking. Over time, he lost 100 pounds.

That's fucking crazy. Same, dude. That's that's insane. That's that passion. That's firing him, bro. Yeah. I don't want him doing that again. I don't want him to stop because that could have ended very bad.

Like he's an old man. He could have died. They both could have just got hit one, two, many times. Yeah. And then that's it. Their brains just like, hey, bro, my skull don't got the integrity I used to have. You're going to have problems now.

Yeah. But like. See, that's the power of, that's the power of fucking steroids and testosterone replacement therapy, man. When you fucking, like all of the, a lot of these old people now, when you look at old people back in the day, I'm talking about when our grandparents were being born and shit, old people look like fucking death, like when they're in their 50s. When they're in their 50s, you look fucking.

fucked and then like fucking 20 years later you were pretty much dead and now it's a whole different ball game to where you're seeing swole you're seeing fucking sylvester stollone and Arnold Schwarzenegger in their fucking 60s and 70s being swole still because science is amazing it's incredible what's going to happen is that we're going to hit our 70s and we're going to be in like our 40s man I'm sure good people don't understand that because we because time is it's different now like it 100% this period this period in general, like the whole, like, whole stigma about how you got to get married and do all this shit before a certain age. And then you look at like, you just look at the world and you're like, yo, I'm in my 20s and I feel like I'm a teenager still sometimes, you know?

Like, I feel like I just hit adulthood in my life, you know, like I'm in my 30s and I feel like I'm just getting into my 20s, you know, like our lives are not going to be their lives. We're going to be living like 150, 160 years old, chilling, having fun dicking around and shit like that. Yeah. You know, it's crazy. Absolutely, things are going to change. That's one thing I tell people, there's a lot of people that say, I don't want to get old because they see old people of today. And anyone I talk to like that, I'm like, guys, do you, do you, you have to pay attention. We are not going to look like old people of today.

That's not going to be a thing. That's how you're going to look when you're like 120. Yeah, when you're old and you're actually decrepit. It's, now maybe the next generation will be the ones that's averaging like 120 years old or something. But I know for sure, even say if we're in our 90s, we're still going to look pretty decent because just the technology is going to be fucking wild, man. We still have a lot of decades to go until we hit that point. And there's probably going to be over-the-counter shit that just makes you look younger and feel younger.

There's probably going to be like test. It's probably going to be so safe to actually use like certain performance enhancing drugs. Like to where the biggest thing is that they're not safe so you can't fucking get your hands on them. Yeah. But they can get to a point where you can get safe and then you can just. you don't have to worry about your bones getting brittle and your muscles getting weak and then you just shatter your shit

when you fucking fall over so I hear old people falling over and shattering their hips and stuff and it's like that's insane to me dude you fall down and you break something that's fucked what? Yeah I fall down I just I bruise myself maybe

Yeah Then I'm up I'm on my feet but That's what people are afraid of that But I'm like dude That's I'm like I That's what I'm telling you man Like when a lot There was a lot of people

A lot of people had my back When we talked about giving a or where I talked about giving gorilla steroids, a lot of people have my back, dude. A lot of people have my back, man. You shouldn't, you shouldn't do that. I'm never going to be okay with that. You should not.

You should not. You should not give animals drugs that they are not going to understand what's going to be done to their bodies, you know? They're definitely going to understand that they're much stronger. What do you mean? They're going to understand.

But they're not going to understand a ramifications that can come from those drugs, bro. Even until now, steroids are still not 100% safe on human bodies. So that they're not going to be safe on primate, any other primate body.

Nothing is, dude, salt isn't 100% safe on human body. That doesn't mean anything. But that's true. But humans can consume salt, period, and not have, dude, you know what happens when you take steroids. You take steroids, right? And your muscle mass increases, right? But still, it fucks with your tendon growth.

So what happens, you can get these big ass muscles, but your joints and shit won't be able to understand, oh, my muscle is stronger. You're talking about, like, a, you're talking about just in a massive abuse of steroids. Like just how people. I'm not talking about massive abuse. No, yeah. I'm just talking about giving animals. If you use steroids, the way a movie star uses steroids, you're not going to fuck yourself up.

You're just going to get, you're just going to get stronger, faster. That's what's going to happen. I do not want to do that to Apes. I know a stupid amount because I'm at the point where I want to bug my doctors to be like, hey, man, give me, give me a little bit of juice. Give me something. Give me something. But I got to figure out how to get it, though, right?

Because I don't have any, I don't read the requirements. my testosterone level all my levels are fucking fine of like my blood work so I don't have a legitimate excuse to like hey can I get extra testosterone and give me a little bit of something else a little some out of box steroids so I can just I just want look what I want see the type of work that I can do in six months like I basically the type of I basically I want to I want to basically what I can achieve in like two years I'll probably like to achieve in like six months if I have the right amount of like help. I'm not talking about looking like fucking the the the the the the Mr. Olympia types. I'm just saying guerrillas though they're already that

gorillas are already that. So if you just if you just fucking hell hear me out man if you just give them a little bit I'm talking about I'm not talking about fucking making a small like making Chris Raygun look like Arnold Schwarzenegger I'm not talking about that level of steroids that's that's huge even though we would all want to see that though. We all want to see him fucking just become just ridiculous. And, you know, but there's people that use it. They use the stuff responsibly where particularly not even like say Antiblock Stroids, but say like testosterone replacement therapy and human growth hormones,

even though the human growth ones is a little bit shady to me because you see over time people starting to shift a little bit. Like their jowls will get bigger or fucking. and Peyton Manning's forehead is like three times the size. His, I'm like, you can't tell me that this guy's not taking fucking, even growth hormones. He's 100% of H-DHB because anyone who's listening to this right now, go look at Peyton, pictures of Peyton Manning. Look at Barry Bonds, bro. Barry Bonds had a normal size forehead.

And then by the end of his time in a fucking league, his forehead looked like freeze his head, bro. It looked like Freeze his head, bro. This shit was big and round. Disgusting, bro. But he could hit a home run like a motherfucker, bro. He's fucking like,

well, what is it? The golden freezer? He's fucking his on that. Fucking head looked like a fucking egg, bro. He had fucking head for days. Yeah,

it's funny seeing that. You can see the transformation of the people that kind of abuse them. I couldn't do it, man. opposed to like say I look at if you see Zach Efron

in that Baywatch movie he used them to have to maintain his superior physical shape at a level that would be basically deadly where he had almost no

body fat on his body and to be able to retain that for a long time is basically impossible but then he uses that cheat, right? So I'm just talking about doing little things that will tweak and not things that like, hey, I'm going to grow fucking so big that I look like the rock or some bullshit. And, and let me just say, I love the rock, but fuck this dude for saying, oh, I haven't taken

steroids since I was 18 years old. I hate that shit, bro. I mean, I disagree with it, but he has, he does genuinely, genuinely, genuinely have the found. of genetics. He does have those genetics. There's three, there's a formula. To look like the rock, there's a formula. You need genetics. You need hard work and they need a shitload of steroids. You can't do, you can't be the rock without all three. I think now he's like, I don't know, man. Like, did you see Painting Game? I've seen, I've seen a lot of the Rock's work. I've seen his biggest he was at, in my opinion, when he did this movie from the Hercules movie, when he was playing Hercules. He was, his

legs look like fucking redwoods. I'm like, okay, dude, that's not, I'm telling you, I, uh, if I, if I would have maintained, uh, well, I never, after, you know, after I got my, I was diagnosed with a mitral valve prolapse, like one of my heart valves is a little shitty. After all that stuff, my, my fitness, everything kind of just went downhill because it changed everything and I take these, uh, beta blockers that make me a tired as fucking stuff. But if that didn't, if that didn't happen, my, the other lane that I was going to go into is the fitness industry, because I was like obsessed with I still am. I just don't like, I don't talk about it because I'm fucking not in the shape that I want to be.

Nobody wants to listen to someone who's out of shape. Talk about fitness. That's stupid. That's stupid. But the idea of just people, there's the whole industry of people saying, it's called fake natties, these fake natural athletes. There's a whole lane of them where you see people's human potential and they go way beyond them. And it's one of the things that people don't understand that like say when people, say when people like the Rock say that, oh, I've been taking the stroke since those 18,

where if you look at him in his 20s when he was in the WWE, I believe him not taking a size. Around that time, I believe he was just working out regularly. But then, and then after the, when he got into the Hollywood, he turned into a literal fucking boulder.

Like, he's so goddamn huge. He's so fucking big. It's gross, bro. He's so big. And I'm like, I just want people to stop saying that,

oh, I just eat chicken. fucking broccoli and I'm this big. I'm like, no, you're, you're sticking lots of things in your ass and you shouldn't, it's okay. Don't lie about it, dude. Don't lie about it. Be real. Like, come on, we know, we know.

That's what I want to. Like, don't treat me like a fucking kid, man. We know. We know. Dwayne Johnson, I know you're listening to this. I'm going to need you to come clean. I know. I know the Snark Tank podcast is your favorite podcast. I know this. I've seen your, I've seen your Spotify playlist. I appreciate your support, man.

But I'm going to need you to come clean to everybody and just say, hey, they don't call me Dwayne the Royd Johnson for no fucking reason. He's insane, bro. The rock is so big that so many women are like, that's not attractive. It's definitely, to me, it's impressive just as a physical specimen of what you can do. But being that big is asinine. Yeah, it's no need. It's no need. It's so crazy.

And he's big, but he's not slow. Like, have you what, do you ever look at the Olympians? like that? Yeah. You know Phil Heath's is, right? Of course. Eight times. Wait, no, that's not, that's, that's, Phil Heath, he's been the current champions recently.

That's Kai Green you're thinking of. No, I was thinking of, um, fuck. This is going to bug me. Oh my God, Ronnie Coleman. Ronnie Coleman was the eight time. Dude, I saw Phil Heath's going to a pool. Like, you know, because, you know, you assume they can't move fast. You assume, you assume they can't move fast as how much mass they have.

Yeah. And they can move quick forward. they can't turn turning is gone they have to give up that of that ability that's been sacrificed but I saw him getting a pool and the fucking speed he was cutting through that water was disgusting I was like how can he swim that fucking fast it just he was just like a torpedo it seems weird but then it's like when you I remember I'll never forget when it was my jv year of football so I was like 16 years old and um our our offensive coach was all right we were doing wind sprints and he's like all right i'm going to sprint with you guys and if anyone beats me i'm sorry he's like if if i beat any of you

you're going to have to run laps like for the rest of practice and so he's a huge guy but he's like he's musseling but he's huge you're thinking oh this guy's fucking just he's just going to be slower than everybody that's this dude he fucking he's he like fucked a bunch of people I'm talking about like I was my eyes were popped out because I was like oh my this guy almost beat me he beat a lot of people and that was when I realized what I was like oh his muscles help him move quicker you can propel him dude that's insane thing for me dude I remember when we were um we were doing a practice one time and we were doing um we were just going up for dunks you know like that and I was called when I learned how to dunk when I was like 17 right before I stopped playing basketball yeah and my coach was a fucking he was a wide dude he was small is about your height and he was like you guys should not be having problems with putbacks it's simple and i was like coach you can't even probably touch rim 5-9 his hand was above the ring like the rim was like right here and his hand was like here that's an insane vertical and i was like that's disgusting that's insane because i can't do that

and i had springs in my fucking heels this man had fucking he had fucking jack and daxter fucking thrusters. It was disgusting. I was like, what the fuck? I didn't, I thought when you were big, you can't move fast. Yeah. Now, when you see those motherfuckers that have like cantaloupes for fucking, uh, for, uh, for calves, they, they're explosive dude. They're fucking explosive.

Like Nick Robinson. Robeson was, he's got, he's, he's, he's an explosive fucking athlete, man. He could jump over tall people, like actually, but he got fucked up. He got fucked up. It's one of those things. I say, combat's a whole different animal. You know why I never,

have fought exhibition I'm not an amateur or I'm not fucking professional because that is not in me I like training I like fucking learning stuff

sparring is cool with friends but the idea of me with on my own just wanting to take somebody's head off I don't have that killer instinct I only have it only comes out of me if I'm defending myself you know right that's when it kicks in

I don't have it at all dude I had it I thought I had it. I was trying to nurture it. And I was like, nah, it's insane. It's just,

it's totally binary. It's like either you have it or you don't. That's it. Like the people that just. The shit, the shit I would see this because my cousin took freaking moitai. I tried to try to mention this once. And the shit I would see him do to people.

Would just like someone, just like some shit that like, oh, this person slipped. This is your fight. This person was slipped. Don't knee him in a face. That's disrespectful.

Nah, bro. Fucking jump knee the person in the head. And you're like, God damn. You're not supposed to do that. That's supposed to be, your brain's supposed to be like, no, that's not all right. He can get hurt.

Those motherfuckers are like, I'll do it. Fuck, I'll kill him. I'll stab him in the fucking face. It's just like, whoa. Whoa, dude. Yeah, man, that's just, that's just wild, though. And I've always thought about it, but it's just, no, I'm old relatively as far as in fighting years. I'm old.

I'm over, I'm fucking, you don't start, you don't start this late. to try to actually start fucking competing. Definitely. But one thing I will do at some point when I'm really situated and I'm definitely going to roll into a Brazilian jiu-jitsu class because I might have said on this podcast before, like I have absolutely no ground game. And the fight always goes to the ground.

And it would be nice to know what to do. Like I have an idea from watching. Because when you think about it, right, you have coaches that are physically in front. of you, they show you how to do stuff and then you emulate what they're doing. The only difference of you seeing shit online or seeing shit like, say, watching stuff on pay-per-view or anything over the years is that you have, you don't have the feedback. Like, you get to see the professionals do their thing, but they don't get to tell you if you're doing it right or not.

But I'm not, I'm not brain dead. I know when I'm doing, you can feel it. Like when I'm, when I'm doing things proper, when I get like a good jab or jab going on or something, and I'm like, okay, I feel this, I feel the kinetic energy. It's as stupid as it sounds, but you feel the energy transfer of being like, oh, that's a good snap. Like, you feel it. And it's one of those things that when I've trained with some people that say, I always hated this. I always hated this, the unsolicited advice when people come up to you like, hey, you should this and that. I'm usually like, fuck your mother.

But every once in a while, somebody shows up that you know that they're like, oh, this dude's a real fuck. fucking deal. And then you listen to them. And then like they can give you feedback. And I've gotten good feedback to where I'm like, oh, so I know that I'm, I'm okay. I'm, I'm all right. Like I know that I'm not left. I'm not a piece of shit. Wouldn't say that I really have experience, but I know that from feedback that I'm not the worst puncher that I'm like, I'm okay at boxing. What you got to do is you got to do is for everybody who doesn't fight out there, you got to do is you get in a fight with somebody, right? You wait until they reveal their temple. And then you Get your fucking knuckle, right?

You get your knuckle and you try to fucking slam your knuckle into the temple. As hard as you can, bro. I'm pretty sure you're going to win that fight afterwards. If you lose that fight, you're a bitch. There's always... You're a bitch. I like something that I've always wanted to try, but I'm not a... Look, I'm not a, I'm not a confrontational person, not really.

But something I've always fantasized of doing was if I'm getting in a fight, I'm going to cover him. I'm going to cover my phone. face. I'm going to completely be guarded. And while they're trying to hit me and break my guard, I'm going to just hyper extend their knee with my foot. Like, because you're just looking down and you just boom on their knee and they're fucked. They're done. Just stomped their knee down. And stomp their knee and that shit hyper extends. It's backwards. They look like fucking arbiter and shit. And they're just like done. They're fucking done, dude. I just stop someone's knee is like, bro, what the fuck, dude? I fantasized about doing that. Because it's just like,

one of those things where people usually swing wild and stuff and then you just block it right you're like blocking it and then you just you're looking down because you're not worried they're not professionals they're not trying to fucking slip it by uppercutting and shit they're not they're not no one's really kind of try to like oh I know exactly what to do they're just wild and swinging so then you just block you just cover up and then it just bash them in the knee and then can stomp their knee down and then force your weight on it and then fucking speed bag them dude fucking make the head bobble like a fucking pez dispenser dude he just wang chung the fuck out of him dude

just fucking just fucking beating the fucking meat man just beat the shit out of it pound until you can't fucking see no more it's a it's a it's a fantasy man i don't think i'll ever do it because like i think i've only been in like two i would say two legit fights might i've been in more but i wouldn't call them like real but like two real fights and that's it man And I've been alive for a long time, and it just hasn't really escalated that far. It's really easy to go your life without fighting people.

Yeah. But like, it depends on where you live. Like, I grew up in the city and I had to fight people. You know, I just hate it. I hated it. I hate how often I had to, like, put my little kid shit down. It's like, man, here we go. Put it down.

It's like, I don't really don't want to do this. And then I got to fucking punch his other kid, you know. Or I got to fight my cousin because my uncle was a fucking psychopath. And he has a fucking kid fight club in his fucking house. Or like, shit like that. that's crazy right yo dude that shit that shit scolded me into the person i am now but it's like yo man i'd really rather not fight i grew up fighting my cousins i want to get a recording of us doing that and talking about it and it's like yeah do remember

when uncle lewis would make us all fight each other he'd be like yeah and my cousin i live he was the fucking top dog bro no one beat him he was the fucking dead hancho there he was the outfit that thing and i'm like oh man i got to fight eric shit we'd fight it we get beat up always I think it's time for you guys to bring it back Now that you're all... I'm not bringing shit back I'm way out of shape, bro. They'll fuck me up.

I mean, What if they're out of shape too? You don't know? Nah, I feel like most of them... You know how black, some black folk are. They're just fucking musseler

for no fucking reason. They're just, they're Greek gods for doing nothing. It's like, what the fuck are you doing, bro? I was like, what do you do? Me, it's video games, man.

I'm sure. Video games is the reason why I gained on my way, bro. I'm to the point now I would love to have the gym. We have a gym under development. I would love to have it open so I can just go there every time I'm like if I'm bored Just go to the gym for like three hours if I can't sleep I'm gonna be a long night I'm gonna go do homework go to the gym for like three hours come up here and knock the fuck out

That's the fucking that's the cure to everything is when I was trying to lose weight again before I'm back to New York I lost 25 pounds in two months because every night after work I went to the gym dude Nice went to the gym came home knock the fuck out drank something had something to eat real quick every time knocked out it works bro yeah i've uh i've i've gotten i've gotten in and out of shape multiple times like throughout the years uh it's been it's definitely been difficult because i said like the heart condition thing i haven't it's not the worst in the world it but it definitely i haven't really gotten used to it in a sense that my philosophy the way that i trained i trained like fucking a dog like i went i went hard in the paint and my diet wasn't the best it

was a great balance for me. Now I have to change it up where I have to have a great diet and I have to train less because I don't have as much energy and I can't consume as much caffeine as I used to because of my heart condition. It fucking, I get like panics. And I'm like, dude, this is the worst balance ever for me. So I have to like kind of unlearn and I have to rebuild. And then when I started getting the groove, I, I fucked up my Achilles tendon. And I remember that shit takes so long to heal I thought when I'm like oh I'm good and then I would go just

hike this bitch ass trails not even like steep shit and then it's like source fuck again I'm like oh dude I can't I can't and I think I'm finally good now I'm actually feeling pretty confident I'm like okay I don't think anything's gonna happen because I'm not gonna risk tearing this shit

all the way through or anything and then I'm out for a fucking year and then I want to you know I will Epstein myself you know what I'm saying because I just I'm just But yeah, it's the biggest thing though, long story short, the biggest thing is I have to fucking just, I just have to like start eating like I used to. But even more. Like it has to be strict instead of just, okay, I'm going to eat a lot of protein pretty clean for the most part.

But I'm definitely going to Taco Bell like on the weekends. And I'm fucking, I'm just fucking shut up on the weekends to where. And then, oh, I'll have a, you know, you know what I'm saying? where it was it was i was not disciplined back in the day but i made up for it with i use so much energy working out uh so many calories they didn't fucking matter dude yeah you got to get back to the fucking the greens and the mixed vegetables chicken with no skin on it yeah and fucking potatoes yeah the worst diets on the planet bro people that bodybuild hate food dude they don't like how food tastes it's hilarious dude my fucking my i one of my professors he was um he was

ex-marines and he was a bodybuilder he was also a fucking bioteacher which kind of makes sense you know it's kind of it's kind of you know analogous to each other sure homologous I guess so what happened was he would like I hate the taste of the food I eat because the food I eat never has real flavor it has a little bit of salt so I don't throw it up a little bit of salt I don't throw it up but it's like just potatoes like carrots and shit green beans and peas and shit like that. And then like chicken, that's just seared. It's a seared chicken with a little bit of salt and pepper on. He's like, I haven't liked the way food tasted in like 10 years. And I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, man, because I never break my diet ever. That's like,

disgusting. Like, that's disgusting. He's like, yo, it's like, it's worse than you think. He's like, I haven't been hungry in like 15 years. I haven't been hungry. He hasn't had the feeling of I want to eat food because he knows what he's going to eat and he hates it. That's just, it's He's using it purely for fuel. It's purely for fuel and... It's insanity, bro. It was like, I miss cheesecake. I miss pizza.

I haven't had any of it. So when he smells pizza, he gets sick because he wants it so bad, but he knows he'll throw it up and he eats. It's disgusting. Yeah, yeah, dude. For a while... For a while, dude, when I remember...

Because I used to these super fries, they're these super fries from this place called Mokasasa that I would get all the time. They're Kaniasada fries. And I would fuck up on an entire thing of them. But then when I became moderately strict on my diet where it was mostly just chicken and rice, if I try to have one of those things, I would get like a fucking stomach ache because it was just too much bullshit, too much grease and stuff. And basically your gut floor is like, what the fuck are you putting it?

We don't want this shit because it starts to get used to what the hell you were fucking putting in yourself. So it's pretty, it's pretty wild, man. And I got to do that. I got to eventually switch it because I'm, I see it. I see the thickness, man. I'm starting to get a little bit of that. What is that shit called again? Turkey neck?

Yeah. I luckily don't have it, but I do got the double chinny chin, man. It's just covered by my beard. I saw a picture of a guy that had a double chin, but his first chin was like bald, but his second chin was fully bearded. So I was like, so I was like,

why is there a beard on your second chin but not your first one? And it was so fucking. Bro, I mean, I feel his pain, though, man, Like, because I don't really, you know, my genetics are fucked for like facial hair. And like my hair only grows like right. It doesn't really cover my chin. Not really. Dude, I have fucking, I have fucking Hispanic people facial hair.

I fucking hate it, bro. It's gross. It grows in all fucking full and patchy like all my uncles. And I'm just like, bro, why? Why does my facial hair look like this? It grows in nappy but patchy. And I'm like, I don't, why? I'd rather just not have any.

I'll take it, man. Like, when... Dude, I like shaving off the sides. Yeah. And it's letting a fucking beard grow out. When my whiskers grew out really thick and my girlfriend's like, you look like my dad. Shave. And I'm like, nah, bro.

Nah, call me daddy. All right. Well, I don't... Okay. I think we have questions before we get out of here. Yeah, we should hit some questions. We've been dicking around for so long. That has been like, how long has it been?

It's been nearly an hour and a half, I think. Like, I think we got like an hour and ten. Let's see or something like that. All right. go let's see these questions let's do it baby what you got you got you got them pulled up and shit i do not have him pulled up okay but let me see oh shit that's the the google doc yes it is okay so questions whatever you ready bro oh you ready yeah okay let's do it yeah okay let's do it oh you want me go me to read it out for you got you easy easy oh wait i don't have i don't have the i don't

have the doc open. I was just like, I'll let you do it. From Keith the Keith David says, first time Patreon here literally made this account just for you guys. That's really dope you do. Nice. I want to just show some support as I've been a fan of Chris since 2015, but only just came around the podcast, around like late August. It's, what, your Twitter. It helped me through really tough times. And now I'm a huge fan of you three of collectively and individually. I've really, which I really do hope and wish you guys continue and thrive and reach new heights.

Big love. Okay, my question, that's fucking awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My question had to do with the night of the fight, the last night's fight. Not Mike Tyson's or whatever, but the real one, Jake Paul. The real one.

The fucking Paul. Holy shit. The funniest thing I've ever seen, it brings me such animal joy knowing that Nate Robinson will have to spend the rest of his known life as the dude who got got knocked the fuck out by Disney Channel's fucking floated. That's so fucking painful. What YouTuber v. athlete match would you three really love to see play out like the Jake Paul one?

I for one would give just about anything to watch Putapy, rock LeBron James in the ring. Of course with Snoop's commentary. Once again, keep up the greatness and much love. He said PewDie Pye rock LeBron James? Yo, LeBron James could be a body. LeBron James could have been anything he wanted. Anything he wants. He's just a specimen.

He's a legit specimen. He's physically perfect. Like I think like... Whatever they want to do, he's into it. He's slowing down now, though. Like, people don't like admitting that. He is, but it's slowing down. But he's still playing at a stupid level.

He's still superior to everybody else. But he's not like when they first played the Golden State Warriors, LeBron James, where he could play a whole team by himself. Now he's just, you know, he's just like, all right, I'm still the apex. But like, actually, no, I don't think he's apex. I think Kauai Leonard, the year before last is better than him. But that's an argument for another day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would love to see Leifie fight. I would love to see Keemstar fight. um Colin McGregor so does it McGreg would beat the shot of him McGreg would savagely attack it

fair I would love it I'd pay money to the team star get fucking death just fucking moortoed by him

bro just fucking just killed bro what if Keemstar killed what if

Kimstar won what if Kimstar like in the middle of him getting He just fucking throws one out. It just kills him. Puncher's chance just knocks him clean out, dude. I'll be like, holy fuck.

I got to tell you. King Star would elevate to a new. He would fall down. He'd be like, ah, he would start, his form would start changing. And he'd be like, I'm so much stronger now. Do you think he would become worse of a person or he's like, you know what? I'm going to be, I'm going to be decent now. Do you think maybe that would make him?

You think it would be like way worse? He's an ego. He's an ego. And when egos get more ego, they've become more pieces of, like, I'm sure we're going to see Jake Paul do some fuck shit in the next few days. It's going to be so bad. That was one of the things that I even said that Instagram story. I was like, dude, he's going to get way worse. Like his ego's already, his head's already too big. Like his ego's way too big. This is going to be awful. Like, okay, if he just won like, and it was just like, oh, split decision or anything like that. Or even unanimous decision. He, like, I was like, this is, that was the worst outcome for his ego. Worth reality. I was just like, great. Then he called out. Who did he call out? Didn't he call out LeBron James or something?

I think I think I saw somebody. If he beat LeBron James, dog, I would just, I would go under my desk and be like, I don't know. This man is destroying the black community. This man is systematically destroying my community. I have to do something about this. You got to put him in a wheelchair. I got to do it now. I got to put him in a wheelchair.

I got to get in shape. I got to work out like a fucking mad dog for like a. a year and then come in a ring looking like a fucking creature of fucking pure power and I got up and I'm asleep. We should do it man. We should just like we should just become boxers but then not box. We should just like just we should just fucking just become like like we're so ready. Like we're just like ready to kill it and then we just never do it.

I'm like I'm scared. I'm like I'm scared. You say you talk all you actually book a fight. You talk all this mad shit. And then as soon. No, no, no. No, no. No, no.

What you do is what you do is you're like, I'm scared, man. When you go into the fight, you're really nervous. Like even when you're coming out, you're like, you can, you see the nerves in your face. Like that, you go into the fight and you fucking just hurt somebody. The first hit, you fucking get a quick weave, jaw, a hundred percent jaw, knock him unconscious. That's a good. That's actually a good. And then like, when you go back in an interview, we're like, what happened?

What happened? I was like, oh, I knew it was going to beat him the whole time. And I crumpled the kid. I kill him again, too, if I got a chance. But see, you also have to record footage of you talking that you were confident. Like, oh, see, I'm going to set up this whole elaborate plan. Just so they know that you're not bullshit and like, like, oh, fucking you just got lucky. You're like, no, no, no, I plan this out.

You're just going to ring. It's like, y'all, I'm going to kill him, bro. Like, I'm going to, like, it's no jokes, no games. Like, it's nothing, nothing funny. So hard that he's going to, his fucking head's going to peel off. Like, you're going to. He's going to, like, he's going to. He's not going to be here.

Like, it's not going to be like, oh, man, rushing to the hospital. The guy's going to come into the ring, check his pulse. He's going to be like, he died. He died when you hit him. I'm going to be like, yeah, I did that on purpose. When I hit him, I shot his fucking nose into his brain. I fucking turned him off forever. I ended his life.

He's not hearing him. He's never coming back. Then I'm going to laugh at his parents on recording. Ah, your son's gone. He's fucking like, I guess I killed him. Dude, that's fucking savage. Hey, man, bro. The villain, the villain, the villain always has the cooler lines, bro.

Oh, yeah, without a doubt, without a fucking doubt. What about you? Who'd you love to see you get fucked up by a YouTuber or fight a YouTuber? Dang. Like Tyson v. Leaf Feed, that'd be another good one. Oh, my God. Prime. I'm talking about Tyson when he was fucking 19, 20 years old.

Prime Mike Tyson. Who's a fucking YouTube? I'm trying to think of, like, because I don't, I, there's a lot of YouTubers that I, that I know that are terrible people, but I just don't watch them. You know what I mean? So I forget about them. Like, who do, I'm trying to think of like, who do I really dislike? Hmm.

I was going to say, no, because he's not even on YouTube anymore. Some people, a lot of people have already gotten, a lot of actual far-right people are already fucking gone, you know, for whatever the myriads of dumb shit. Ian Miles Chung. That would be fucking hilarious. hilarious. That would be hilarious, dude. Later that made he gets them swatted and killed. Oh my God.

No, he, he, he gets in Minecraft, in Minecraft, all right. He gets killed in Minecraft. You gotta, you gotta,

we gotta, in Minecraft. Yeah. Yeah, you got, he and Miles Chung, bro. I love that,

I love that, I love that, that's anonymous with it, bro. He's synonymous with having people who get swatted, bro. That's so evil.

It's his A1, dude. It's his attack one. absolutely. Can you imagine every time the button mash, you just just swats? Just swatting it. Just knocking on your door. Get on the fucking ground.

Oh my God. That's fucking fantastic. You know, the funny thing is, I really think as far as YouTubers go, I think it sucks that. That's what I said Jake Paul, that he knocked Nate Robinson out. It sucks because Jake Paul is really the. YouTuber that I think that just really deserves to get his ass beat. Because even when you look at

his brother, his brother's just been chilling, he's went away just to do his podcast. He's been chilling. He's been like not in the news of saying dumb shit. And Jake Paul just won't stop. He's like, oh, COVID's a hoax. He fucking COVID parties, this and that.

He said COVID is a hoax. And I was like, yeah. I was like, Jake, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I think what happened is that he understands that he's become fleeting. He's become a fleeting person. So he's like full-blown villain, you know?

So I think instinctively he just says shit that is just absolutely the dumbest suggestive we're going to pay attention to him, bro. Yeah. Because you can't, because I don't know who. If you don't believe in COVID any more than bro, put him, put him in a boat, leave him in the ocean, bro. Put him in a time. Put him all on a fucking tiny boat and just sail it out into the ocean, man.

I don't know what to do with you anymore. Put them on an island by themselves and don't ever bring them supplies, but tell them they're going to. There you go. People like, here you go. We'll have supplies by soon and never do it. Lie. Perfect. I'm with it.

I'm fucking with you, man. Yo, I forgot about the, like, not recording, but on the side. I probably should because I just realized that you probably had. to disrupt your recording to pull up the document, right? Like, did you, because you did, you had it full screen? No, that's still here. Oh, it was okay? Oh, okay.

I just wanted to make sure because I was like, oh, that's, that, that might be an issue. But, uh, no, we're good. Um, we're good. All right. Next one from user. It doesn't say a name, unfortunately. Hey, this is the alien. Hold on.

Sorry. When you're, when you're reading, uh, keep your, uh, Mike, Clay, bring your mic with you when you're reading because you're I can't really excuse a thing yeah yeah yeah so just bring yeah gotcha okay okay user wrote in the alien invasion that you guys

allude to at the end of the year most likely won't happen but I would highly consider hosting an art competition at the end of 2020 I have no doubt that you guys have fans with exceptional talent would would be

you gotta fix that dude would be so cool to see such a destructive and vulgar arts of you guys facing the end of the world. Love the show and love you guys. Happy December and Frey, and pray that Sweeney doesn't awaken magical weenies enough to begin an alien invasion quest line. That's pretty insane.

So that was the question. That was pretty much as you being nice to us. Thank you. I appreciate it. All right. But yeah, I would love to have a whole thing open where it's a bunch of art commissions. just us, you know, dealing with fighting the end of the world,

fighting COVID zombies, and like fucking trying to avoid Kamala Harrison Batman for putting us in jail. Kamala Harrison Batman? Yeah, dude. They're a team, bro. Yeah, that makes sense. There's a bunch of memes going around.

All my black and Latino ghetto as friends are sending me tweets where it's like, who would you rather have find an ounce of way on you and it's Batman of Kamala Harris and 97% chose Batman. You know what Batman's going to do to you?

Wow. He's going to put you your limbs. He's going to put you in the hospital. Kamala is going to put you in jail and not give the evidence to release you. I guess it's like well at least when it comes to Batman you'll get out eventually. So I guess it's

You'll be able to walk sooner later. You'll heal the revolving door. Yeah. But fucking Kamala is going to make sure you're just you're just sealed away you're just swallowed that fucking key it's just gone dog man Kamala Harris are Batman

and you all choose Batman that's insanity that's funny you said anything what Batman does it a Joker Batman has put Joker through Shatterproof glass that is fucking nuts bro that takes persistence

he's done a lot of shit to him man and I'm not going to get into it but just just just just just Just, just, yeah, that's, uh, I'm going to have to go with Batman too. I'm just going to say that. I was just going to say, I, I would go with Batman too, dude, to be told. I'll be like, uh, I'll be okay eventually with Batman.

I know it's going to be, I'm probably going to PTSD. I'm going to have a lot of trauma from being attacked by Batman. But at least at a certain point, I can probably pay my debt to society and then return home just with a limp, you know? And instead of fucking. Somehow, Kamala Harris just, you know, oh, this is the first time I've been arrested for weed, but for some reason I have two other strikes. I don't fucking know. You're gone. You're serving a fucking 35 fucking maximum security.

You're like, go, that was just a, it was a UPM. It was no intent to sell. You're like, sorry about that. You never see a kid. Your wife's pregnant. You never see a son ever. He's just like, you know, there's no visitation. You're in the fucking.

Oh, my God. God, that's wild. That's so wild. Yeah, let's move on. I'm just going to get mad thinking about her, her fucking cop days. Okay. From sheetbox, man, hey, Puerto Rican Wario, with the N-word past Puerto Rican, Luigi, and Black Mario.

Have you... Yes. Have any of you met doppelgangers of yourselves, and if so, did you take an opportunity to take action to kill them before they took your place? No. I don't I've never met someone that looks I met a white kid look like me before it was kind of weird He'd like a white me and I was like whoa

Like is he like an albino version of a black dude or just like straight a black He's like a white guy He's a white guy looked like me and I was like oh I was like oh I was like are you part Puerto Rican too He was like yeah I am and I was like oh there you go There's a similarities come from And this week dude we've all seen your doppelganger Oh my god

I'm a big dog Big Bear Nega Niga, I'm a lion I'm a predator Of the prey That is hiding Oh my

Oh my I found you small black person Don't you dare Run away from me You fucking small black person He's really Grown on me bro Look

If you don't look at him That shit goes kind of hard, man. Like, I, like, I've, I've listened to the song over and over. Look, I've listened to over and over it because I, because I did the cover, right? I, I, I, I, I, I, well, like a week ago. Okay. I did you're saying, I did the cover. I, I, I like, I like the song, too. I'm not, I'm not, I don't. I'm gonna be real. I like the song too. I like, I like, I like Mario Judah, honestly. I, I, I like the kid. I think he's, I think he's finding his own niche. I think he found his own style. Yeah. And he's, he's a good kid. He's a good guy. He seems like

really nice dude. Seems chill. He's, he's one's his own style, you know? Like, and honestly, I can't hate that. I'm okay. I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. Especially, it's just, it's, like, his appearance is cringe. What he's trying to do?

All that hot topic shit is stupid to me. But like, I think it's cringe, but at the same time I was fucking girls that had like fucking hot topic, fucking like ear rings on us like that and all those fucking like. But you still thought that shit was cringe even though you were fucking them. Oh, definitely at the time. But I was like, I'm cring enough to be standing. here inside this woman. So clearly I don't have, I have no, I have no right to insult this person. Yeah, no, let's know. I mean, he has his own style. Let him do his thing. You know, he's making

his money. He's doing it. I always love seeing another black man do good, you know, in my heart of hearts. So do you think, Mario, best of luck, my guys. Sorry about all the fuck shit I said before. I mean, look, it's, it's, I mean, look, we're still going to try to get him on the podcast somehow. Of course. Oh, oh, oh, I should actually do this. Maybe I should use my power. You know, we have some power with the snark tank, right? Because I usually don't do call to actions. I'm kind of like, ha ha, you know, whatever, just live and let live. But so guys, listening, if you haven't heard yet, so I did a cover of Die Very Rough.

It's on my YouTube channel, Black Metal. If you just put in like Black Metal Mario Juna, it should pop up, I'm assuming. So I want to bait him into possibly being on this podcast. And the best way to do it is if you tag in whatever platform you're on, I don't know if you're on Instagram, Twitter, I don't fucking know, whatever you use, find Mario Judah and send him my cover. Because if he finds it, I have a good feeling that he'd want to, like he would be willing to like talk to us or something because he's all about that rock star

like kind of metal kind of seam thing going on. And so I'm like, hmm, because people keep saying they, keep tag. Hey, dude, you guys got to get bar with you on the podcast. I'm like, first of all, I think he has no fucking, uh, no interest on being on the snark tank. Like, why would he? But if he hears that song, maybe it will be like, oh, yeah, let me talk to the guy

that fucking, uh, that wrote this shit. And then, and then he'll also learn about all the shit that we've said about him afterwards. And then he's, yeah. And I'll be like, I'll be real. I'll be like, yo, man. I said fuck shit about you. But honestly, I'm happy you're doing your thing, man.

Like, for real. For real, like, I'm glad. Do your thing, bro. You know what? Find, find your, find your middle ground. Find your, you know, your hardcore, you're a rock rap thing you want to do and fucking thrive, man. Nigel. You don't look like me, though. So let's move on. Next. Okay. We got one more question. That's I think, right? Yeah, let's do it. Before we tear the stromboli open, all right? 111 cleric, praise Helix brother. What word, what? Wait, what? Praise Helix brothers. what is the worst thing that's happened to you, but turned out to be beneficial in the end?

For example, my answer would be when I got deathly ill for six days, but it wound up being beneficial since I never left my apartment to have a smoke and, wait, to have a smoke and inadvertently got kickstarted we needed to quit for good. Oh, wow. Okay. That's funny that he says that because that is, And long story short, in 2013, I went through a bad breakup. And I'm not really a huge weed person.

So I was smoking a little bit, but it didn't help. It would help sometimes. And then I would just get paranoid as fuck. Like, I just, I wouldn't, I'm not good with it. But one thing that helped me a little bit that distracted me was smoking cigarettes. So in 2013 for a while, I was smoking cigarettes, maybe for like three months straight. And then I realized that I was addicted to the fucking, you know, tobacco or whatever, the nicotine, whatever the fuck that makes you addicted. and I got deathly sick in 2013 where I was sick for like two fucking weeks.

And then you felt like such shit that I wasn't smoking, obviously. And then I completely kicked it. I was like, oh, I'm good. I was like, I don't fucking, I'm totally good. So that was actually pretty good. I don't know, man. I feel like I've never really had that experience where like I got so sick from something else. No.

Was it like that? Never happened to me. You got like bang so much by like dudes that you just like, you know, I think I'm going to try Puss now and you thought it was way better. Um, that were for you? That's still debatable in my head. I still a toss up. But, um, I don't know, man.

I'd say that like, what happened? What's something that happened before? I've definitely not gone to like parties. I got in trouble and then like the parties got shot up and shit like that. And somebody had a gun and people got arrested. And I was like, oh, shit. That's crazy. Like when I was in like, I was thinking.

I was in, it was probably senior year. I was like, Grandma, I'm going to go to this party. She was like, you're not going to a party. Because I lived in Fishwood, which is actually suburb, suburb being like fucking White Topia. White Topia. I was talking about to Indian Asian kids. And then I went to school in Pekips, which is the inner city of the general area

in Debtz County. And I was like, I'm going to party with my homies. We're going to go. I was like, no, Kingston. You came in late the last seven times. You're not going anywhere. You're staying in a house. And I was like, grandma, I was like, do your homework.

I'll do my homework. Get your homework done. And you finish that before and then now you can leave. I'm going to check it and make sure you have to explain to me what it is and show me finish this. I was like, yeah, guys, I'm not making it. She's on to me. I'm not making it. Like, all right, cool.

So then an hour and a half later, I got a text with my friend and was like, yo, the party got shot up. People got arrested. Glad you didn't make it. I was just like, what? It was like, yeah, man. It got fucking wild, man. She saved your life, bro. I wish I didn't go.

I was like, oh, shit. You would have been shot in the face, dude. She saved your life. Like, there was a fucking, there was an imprint on the walls of your frame exactly. Like, like you were meant to be fucking shot. And he just worked there. Luckily, I stayed home. But that's the only moment like that's ever happened to me.

I was like, oh, I guess. Yeah. I mean, hey, that's pretty good, man. And speaking of people getting shot, I was actually thinking about, okay, okay. So, this is just kind of off topic, but I also see the Spider-Man your background, so it kind of just distracted me. So 2017, I was working with T-Spring, and they were like, hey, we want to make you merch.

And I said that I wanted to make, like, the Drake meme thing where he does, like, the, you know, he's, like, looking away, like, no. And then yes, it's like, you know, that thing. But they said, like, obviously you can't use Drake's likeness, but we can just draw him. You know that it's Drake. And so I've been thinking of, I was like, I think I'm going to commission somebody to draw shot Uncle Ben. Oh my God, doing what?

But it's literally just being shot in a pool of blood. And so I could just have a fucking shirt of Shot Uncle Ben, but it's not Shot Uncle Ben. It's like when you see those masks that are in Halloween stores where it says presidential mask, but you know like one's Hillary or that. It just doesn't say, their name because they'd get sued.

So for this, it would say like, shot uncle. Yeah, shot uncle or shot old man. Shot uncle. Shot uncle Joe. Oh my God. What you do? Bastian head characters.

Yeah. Like bashing head Scooby-Doo. Bashin-head fucking Lionel from Thundercats. Bastion head fucking, what you call the Jeffrey Epstein. I like that. I like the idea of Bastian Epstein.

Is it sure? New merch coming to do to the fucking snark tank podcast, man. Bashed in head and shot on bashing head person and shot old man. Coming at you, coming at you live and fast, dude. Yo, that would make me so fucking happy. Oh my God. Okay. Thank you for tuning in to the fantasticness.

That was the Dark Tank podcast. Yes. Episode three. We want to say thank you to all of our supporters. So at $1 a month I don't remember all of it is I just know that $10 a month gets your name read right?

Yeah, I think no, no, no. So $1 a month, and this is going off the top of my head, you get the podcast, access to the podcast, and I think for $10 a month, or $5 a month you get to ask a question. Yes.

So then you can participate and answer in this Q&A stuff. And then number 10, for $10, you can join our Discord. cord and at which I actually I've been so fucking busy with my covers I need to jump in the discord say hi same um 15 dollars both are working on some stuff right we're working on we're gonna do we'll figure something out we're gonna do I think we're gonna do like solo podcast or some shit I don't know yeah we're still figuring out we'll get it and then and 25

is your name read dyslexically at the end of the show I really do I have to do it this time is it have to be me well it look okay so we're gonna cut it here we're gonna to cut it here, right? And if it has to be me, I will still pick it up and I will do it. Let Chris figure out if he wanted to be me. If it doesn't have to be me, Chris will read it out for us. It's probably going to be me. So stay tuned to the end of it, having my dumb, my dyslexic black ass reading all these

names and stumbling over all these fucking work. I love it. But we want to say thank you. We love you. Stay happy. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Tune into the next podcast.

All right. Fare well. Hey, everybody, it's me. I'm reading the things at the end of the episode. I'm kind of sick and I'm cleaning my room. So if I sound like death, it's because I wasn't supposed to be on this episode and they were supposed to read the names,

but they didn't. So I'm sorry if this is a horrible listening experience for you. But, uh, ah, Dobby. Oh man, Dobby's cum sock crutches. Toes in my mouth, please. Every time Chris says crazy,

Listen to how, uh, look at, just fucking look at this. Like, what the, what, this is, this is, I'm supposed to read this as a name. Listen to the how did we even get here podcast every Thursday, uh, wherever you find your favorite podcast. It's actually Friday now. Sorry, outdated joke. Leroy Jenkins. Wow, talk about outdated joke. Master Chief's hard as a rock, armor lock, cock.

Matthew Barrett Clark, hard hat skydiver, Jessica Parris, absolute wagon, all new, all different, actual cult member, monkey monk. Billy the Big Ball Brawler. A little late-term abortion with Lily Singh. Chris would be a Twinkie if he cared about hygiene. I wish my dad kissed me like Tom Brady. Vermont was Vermont the most emotional state. Not an FBI agent. Juan Punchman.

Marcus Shorten. Mr. What the fuck have you been listening to? Abusi, Papa Nurgle. Nancy Pelosi, imagining AOC goat seed. Danny DeVito's Christmas candy cane cock. Kujo F.D. Sweenies, weeny, sleazy. Murder ascended.

David Connelly, the dyslexic that feels Chris is pain. Dunderhead, JFK's convertible, deal so great, your head will explode. Lobotomized Jesus is my drooling divine savior. Haco, one meter long fetus, motor zealot, Mike Tyson's left hook, Hiroshima's spicy mushrooms, granny gratitude groaning from Garth Brooks's giant, girthy meat mallet. It's the long ones. Anytime a name ends in an ellipsis, I'm immediately like, here we go.

Derek's unyielding sex drive. Dummy Thick Dave, Big Dude 0444-4, Heartless Wretch, aka the black man from Staten Island Jada Pickett Smith's broken knees Umy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy come inside my tummy The Ghost that lived in the apartment about prison Sweeney Jolly old dipshit Carson Jones

Ethereum The Queenstyn to Sweeney's Kingston The Pergerian hunter Deflated left ass cheek America Wars episode 2 The Colonial Wars I get it like anonymous Sunny Chance

Toby Shootman Melfis 1 LQ Lebron Richter 86 and King of Hapazard my boy, that's all. That's all. That's all. That's all of our $25 of patrons. Thanks again for everybody in your support.

I'm going to go take copious amounts of medicine and go to sleep.