The Snark Tank - #54: Derrick Got Banned!

Episode Date: January 15, 2021

The Capitol Building got all sieged up! Why did Derrick get banned from Twitter? Would we survive Covenant Invasion better than a Locust incursion? Our mortal adult enemies when we were kids. Will Trump start an OnlyFans? What makes Destiny a solid shooter? Will Derrick ever return from his piss break? It's a mystery! Meat Canyon episode next week! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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We're going to get on with the normal rigamarole of our weekly show here. But I do want to mention that next week's episode is going to be our first guest episode of the year, the first guest episode of 2021. And it's going to be with Meat Canyon. If you're a patron right now at the audience participation tier, which is about $5. You can jump into the question thread right now and ask away. It's going to be a fun episode.

Meet Canyon is a really cool dude. We brought them up a bunch of times on this podcast, and I just wanted to get that out of the way, just so people knew what was coming. And there's going to be more guests in the future, too, in this year. I think we're going to try and do that a little bit more often. But... Yeah. Talking to Will Smith right now. Yeah.

I'm talking to Dr. Drew, who is miraculously still around. He got COVID, dude. That's crazy. You almost got him, dude. He almost fucking got him. We almost talked him into his grave, man. You know what's fucked up about that? Like, we obviously, like, if you're jumping into this, if this is like your first

episode of this show, like, I apologize. But we've had this running joke for a while where, like, I've tried to convince everybody in this podcast that Dr. Drew has died every single time we record, except now that he got COVID, people have been doing it to me and I've been curious enough to check because it seems like they turned my own joke against me. The universe did this. It's really fucked. No, you did this. I didn't do shit.

You have that power. You do that with video games. So why can't you do that with fucking COVID and Dr. Drew? COVID's over. COVID's over. Why don't you do that, Chris? I don't think I'm ready. You're just like terrible wizard. You're like any other entity where you just do things when you feel like it.

that's how that's the only way to ensure that they actually happen though is if I feel like it if I don't feel it then it's not gonna happen you don't feel like ending COVID I would like COVID to end I just don't feel like it's gonna dude I haven't been so excited for a non-alcoholic shot in my life for this fucking thing like I just want I want to get this just get something just get injected into my arms I heard it I heard it I heard the vaccine fucks your arm up for days though really yeah I heard it like Like, everybody who's got it so far has told me that it's like, or at least like, the, I know one person who's got it.

It's like a family member who's like happens to be. It's like a medical field thing. But they said that their arm was like killing them for like a couple days. It's fine now. That's, that's some more shots though. I mean, I guess. Some vaccines. I remember getting vaccinated for middle school because like you can go without it and like getting like tuberculosis, all that bullshit.

And I remember that shit burning like a motherfucker like, I never cared about getting stuck with a needle. Because I've had cats. And it's like, if you've been fucking scratched by a cat, you pricked by a needle and say psychological fear and blah, blah, blah. But like when they fucking put like that, I remember them squirting shit in me and I thought they were squirting in fire. I was like, what the fuck is? What is this? What's happening, bro? This can't be good for you?

You can't be good for you? Yeah. Really? I went allergic and you were like, what the hell? I feel so cool. I'm like going super sane. Like, nah, bro, your body's freaking the fuck out. Yeah, I had a steroid, too, for.

I think it was like anti-inflammation or some shit like that. And that shit burned like crazy. But days, I think it was just like an afternoon for what I remember. So that's kind of weird to me. I wonder what's in it. That's what I'm saying. It's like. Well, it's COVID in the needle.

Well, yeah. I mean, kind of. Like, I think, yeah, because that's what I was thinking. I was like, yeah, you know, I remember obviously your arm's going to hurt if you fucking pierce the skin and inject shit into it. Obviously, it's going to hurt for like a little bit. But usually that's like a couple hours maybe at max. But this is like, yeah, like so far I've seen like, I've seen most people be like, yeah, you know, it hurts for a couple days.

It's like, oh, okay. It's, that's, I'll be fine, man. I'm sure it's fine. I would take it in the head of my dick right now. That's how fucking aches I am for it. Oh, my God. I definitely wouldn't do that. I would.

I don't go fuck. I like adventure. That's not adventure. That's adventure right there. Do you know what the word adventure means? Yeah. Doesn't always mean good. No.

No, adventure doesn't necessarily... It means I'm going on a trek. Something's happening. Yeah, you're going on a trek to the hospital. Immediately after you go... Immediately after you get home and then you realize that a dick is not a sufficient place to get your vaccine injected.

Could you... Does that? And then they try to... They're confused. Like, I stole these vaccines and I injected them in my penis so my dick doesn't get COVID and it's like... So your dick doesn't get COVID. You have to inject every single quadrant of your body.

you have to be like arm, chest. My right arm is probably fine. Legs. Like, you have to vaccinate. My right arm's fine. My right arm's never... Anyway, how many people would get it, though, if you had to inject in your dick?

Oh, my God. I would get it. I would get it. I would get it, yeah, whatever. I guess I would need local anesthesia, I guess. I don't know. I would have to take, like, I would take, I would take it.

I would tell like I'm sist tis. bro. Heart is fucking solid day. I would have to take like 200 milligrams of like melatonin before. Just fucking knock out. I just knock myself away and then maybe hopefully. You're not going to be able to see. You're going to be aching so much as he'd be going to keep waking up. Do you know what 200 milligrams of

melatonin is? No. That's a lot. That's a lot of meltonin. You're out. 10 milligrams is enough to get me drowsy. Like to the point where it doesn't really work on me then. Well, it works on me fucking good. It works on me really well.

They used to have this, okay, Bob, they had this new, well, years ago, they had a Bob Marley iced tea that they released onto the market. I remember that. And they had a few different flavors. And it had melatonin in it at first. And I slept for 15 hours for drinking it. And I was like, fuck. I didn't want to do this.

That's the worst, dude. They took it out, dude. They took it out because it was fucking people. You can't make, you can't make, you can't make, you can't make, just a commercial, like, feel good refreshment that puts people to sleep. That's not something. It's like such a bad idea. I mean, that sounds fine to me. No. There's a little alcohol with that and then you're gone forever. But that's what alcohol is for. You're off to the next phrase, man. No. You smoke a blunt. You smoke a blunt. You get a few shots and you drink that shit and you are leaving. You're taking off.

So listen, we we got to talk about the elephant in the room, but there's a specific reason that pertains specifically to this podcast that, I think necessitates us talking about this. Recently, there was a siege on the United States Capitol. It was a rainbow siege. And it's quite unfortunate because when we recorded the last episode, we recorded on January 5th, the day before all this shit happened. Oh, that's right. And I remember saying specifically, I can't be fucked to care about what's going on at the Capitol right now. And then

shit hit the fan right afterwards And then that episode Went live for everybody During the riots And like And specifically on free feeds Days after all this had happened So it sounds like we're just not giving us fucking

Yeah So it just sounds like we don't give a shit Which is awesome But Fantastic But so obviously there was There was this crazy siege at the At the at the

at the Capitol building I have a video on it that I'm currently working on so I'm not gonna talk too much about it but you know people broke in there somebody died a couple people died actually it's pretty crazy one guy died because of some ridiculous

means that I don't think would be respectful to bring up right now but it's fucking wild like I don't think it's respectful to bring it up I won't bring it up because I'm gonna I'm gonna bring it up in a video but okay so I'm not gonna say it but it's wild you're gonna hear it you guys are gonna be like what the fuck

look some of the some of the some of it's pretty tragic and some of it's kind of it's kind of funny but that's not the point. This isn't a siege to capital episode. Everybody's talked about it at this point and by the time you guys hear about it it'll be old news anyway. What I want

to focus on is the fact that so Donald Trump was banned on Twitter and on everything else he was banned on YouTube Spotify in case he wanted to drop an EP he was banned from Pornhub not that

that matters because who the hell logs into their porn hub. Oh, very rarely. Very rarely. I don't have an account, man. Yeah, I don't have one either. I got an account when it was free over the quarantine. That was the best time to get it. I did that. I had one.

I did that out of sheer curiosity, but I don't remember what I, I don't even remember the, you know what I mean, like the username or the password, I didn't care about that. It's the same thing for everything as mine. It was so much free porn. I was like, God damn. High quality porn is crazy. Okay, well, I'm going to mute that because it's just not a smart thing to relate to your head. Yeah, you don't want people.

people to start fucking trying to find your shit dude yeah that's a bad oh no no no no it's the same for everything like I have like all my all of my personal passwords no no no yeah I understand what you're saying all right I'll leave it out there fucking whatever no no you don't have to but but you're fine you're fine but so because Donald Trump got banned from Twitter a lot of people made uh Twitter accounts uh pretending to be Donald Trump some of them are still around some of got kicked off the platform. And Derek, so Derek, what happened to you that day, bud?

How quick, how quick did they shut you down? I'll put the tweets that you put up. Do you have screenshots of the tweets that you tweeted? Yes, yeah, I do. You have to send it to me. I have the three tweets that I, all right, so let me walk you through this. I'll put them up on screen as he's telling this story. I love that there were so many people, so many like-minded people that immediately

immediately as they saw the news, we all had the genius idea to like, I need to impersonate Donald Trump. Because there was a lot of it. I didn't see anybody else do it. I saw that he was gone, the headlines, and I'm like, I have to do this. And knowing that I could risk getting banned. And what happened was there was one tweet that was threatening, as you guys could see on screen. One of them was because first I just said, you know, I took his, I took, I took, I used that one circle. with the seven in it that looks like the verified badge and I heard from some people saying that's one of the things that makes it even much

more like easy quickly like it's in the algorithm to ban accounts that have that shit on there because you're really trying to impersonate someone I guess and then there's the the violent tank that I had where at first said y'all niggas can't eat me and then I put right under it

I'm gonna drone strike the fuck out of jack and that one fucking and look as much as I appreciate people retweeted it like say shoe on head and it caught too quick it too much it went too fast it was like a wildfire dude like that yeah it was that would have got out of hand if that was left up that would have been in a hundreds so that's what it would have been that's why i was just like oh shit i wasn't expecting it to get caught on and i saw the first tweet um that y'all niggas one or whatever it was being retweeted by so many checkmark people so many people i don't know like who the

fuck who did this and i was just like oh no this is good because I was thinking like oh I'm going to fuck around for a couple of hours and then I'm going to delete everything but it didn't even make it outside of an hour probably around the 40-ish minute mark I got fucking yeated and I was like that's fantastic bro I love that story I thought it was like I don't know how you thought that was a good idea I mean I was obviously not a good idea like this is obviously not a good idea but like that was funny he knew the risks and I respect yeah I definitely knew the risk I even put in my uh in in in the bio hoping that maybe it'll help me because I'm appealing it. And hopefully, because they do have permanent suspensions for usually multiple offenders. For what I did, it may not be permanent. And I also put in my bio temporary parody accounts. I'm hoping whoever's reviewing this will be like, okay, he was just fucking around. Don't do it anymore.

I don't know. The only thing that I regret, because I don't really give a shit because I've heard some people like, oh, fucking, dude, you just lost 87,000 followers. And I'm like, I don't fucking care about that. What it was was there was some people that I highly respect that I was following. And I'm not going to be able to get them to fall. I'm not going to reach out to them and be like, hey, could you follow me again on my tiny little account that I just started? You know, like some fucking big rock stars and some people that I've like looked up to.

And I was like, oh yeah, that's the thing that I should have thought about before I did it. That's literally the only reason that I don't fuck around too much on my Twitter is just like literally. It's like this is my only line to these like people that I know I'm never really going to get again. Like I'm never going to get fucking Hugh Laurie From fucking house to follow my other account That's so funny. That's true. That's so funny that he's following you.

Makes no sense. And I've looked through his followers Or the people that he's following And it seems to be intentional Which is another reason why it's like, okay, I'm definitely not going to fuck this up. But honestly, like the whole losing Like, I don't know

Like I've always kind of viewed it as like It's almost kind of better in some ways To get like a refresh Because you know that all of the people people coming to you are actually like people who give a shit. So you're in, like, if you're, if you've got like a million followers, but you get like a thousand likes on every one of your tweets, that looks like, that looks like, that looks like shit, you know, it's just like you, anybody with that many followers would be like, yo,

get me, get rid of all these fucking people who don't care. Whereas like you now, you've got like, how many are you at now on your, on your new thing? Last time I checked, I, fuck, actually, I don't think I checked today. It was probably just out like 4K right now. Yeah. But that's 4,000, and those are people who are actually engaged, who, like, are actually... So you're going to have, like, a higher percentage of engagement with the people who are following you now versus people who have, like, a million who've had a million for, like, a long-ass time. I hate that shit personally.

It's like, I post something about me, like, me saying something, like, very liberal. And then, like, a bunch of people who are conservative following me, see, I'm like, well, how the fuck did you end up here? Like, I've never, I've never given you that. I've never given off that kind of vibe. You know, like, what? It happens, man. Some of the people that... People hear what they want to hear.

I'm actually, you know. There was a lot of people, like, there's a guy named Mike Cernovich that looks, his eyes, he's almost a cyclops, his eyes are so close to him together. Oh my God. He's fucking, he has this stupid fucking face, and, and he has this, like, I don't know. I don't know. He just, he just annoys the fuck out of me. But he's been following me for so many years, and the thing that annoys me is he retweets my shit a lot.

And he's, like, a huge conservative. figure and I'm like but he's retweeting the stuff that has nothing to do with politics like i'll say some stupid shit that i usually do like 90% of my tweets and so he's i guess appreciates like memes or whatever the fuck but i don't like that his you know it was so it's actually kind of nice that he's gone from my shit like he's i don't think he's gonna fucking find like who the fuck's gonna tell him that oh some black guy you got you go follow him it's just it's just all like the the fun people like everybody that i like like being around and everyone like talking to, they found me and stuff.

And then we're, yeah, so it's been pretty cool. So there's that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care about my. I don't care about followers.

I don't care about any of that shit, but I have like D&D creators and like people that write comic books that follow me. So like I can't afford to lose them. Like that's, I'll cry. Yeah. Don't do. Don't do what I did, ladies and gentlemen. It was such an impulse.

I was like, this is, it was so, nothing like this has ever happened before. The president's got banned from Twitter. That's probably genius, bro. You saw your time and you attacked, and I respect that. Yeah, no, it was a good. No one could front you for that. I can't even say that it was a bad idea, really. Like, it's like, that's not even like, you definitely should have done it.

Like, it's not something that you shouldn't, you know what I mean? Like, it was so good. I saw everybody giving you props. I was like, yo, this is fucking great. It was. That definitely did make it even better. I'm like, you know, okay, I don't, I don't really regret it. I don't care about the number.

I'm going to try to get a few people back. If I can't get my old account back, I'm going to try to get some other people, like, some, like, you know, people that I, that I'm stupid for, nuking my account are getting it nuked. Try to get them back. If not, it's fine. Yeah. It's totally fine. But, yeah, it's fun. Doing shit like this, I saw, like, a meme that came from Starship Troopers.

And it was, like, what's the difference between, like, a shit poster and a civilian? And basically, like, the shit poster is, like, willing to, like, risk, like, it was a really good, like, like, just. basically twisting the words from the actual scene, but replacing it with like, you know, a shit poster and, uh, kind of to smash some of the stuff that people were saying that,

like, oh, that was really dumb or, oh, you probably went a little bit too far, don't you think? And then it's like, no. This,

this is, it's fucking hilarious. You know, seeing, seeing a Donald Trump account say, I'm a, I'm gonna, Jack, I'm gonna drone strike you.

That's such a huge threat, bro. Yeah, the funny thing is there was enough comments. of people saying you got me for a second because that fucking that little verified circle or that circle with the seven in it

if you just quick glance it looks like the verification badge Yeah that's what I saw before Yeah so it's a quick glance of people like what And they're like oh fucking So I get it Yeah no it was it was good It was a good laugh

For me I muted Trump I muted him I don't have anything His content like oh show up on my thing I don't care about this guy Fuck this dude And then I saw Donald J.J. Trump was on my feed and I was like, how did he get here? Why is he saying, nigger?

What's happening? Is he finally snapped? Has he finally just cracked and it's like, I'm just going to do what I want now? No, yeah. You couldn't not seize the opportunity. It's like a pretty, it's a pretty like wildly unique time. You know, like the president has never been fan from fucking every social media platform that exists, except only fan. Like what the fuck is he?

Like, what is he going to do? Like, what is he? he can't I think he I guess he's gonna create his own fucking thing what do you think that's kind of the thing

that I'm a little bit wary of where it's like I don't know if see the I'm of two minds about this whole thing where it's like I think the way

that he used his platform probably does warrant abandance in most cases I think he has like such a unique reach to people

so that like you know everything that he's says is going to be seen by basically everybody at some point. It's pretty much a given. So with that kind of inherent like buff to character stats that doesn't exist for anybody else, anything he says is kind of like inherently more important. So like when he does kind of be like, hey, go to Capitol Hill, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It's like, all right, yeah, you probably, yeah, probably shouldn't. Probably shouldn't do that. In fairness, he probably should have been banned like a long time ago for like certain like other like really specific instances.

Sure. The concerning thing is, though, the fact that all of them kind of banned him at the same time, and it's a little weird to know that big, like, that all those, like, tech billionaires can just sort of come together and be like, let's just get rid of this person. Even if this might have been like a really warranted thing, it's still kind of inherently creepy that that's possible, you know? It's just, it's the argument that at this point should social media be. seen as a utility because it's so vital to communication nowadays. Yeah. You know, like the way that, like, you can, like, white supremacists are still able to

have electricity, you know what I mean? That's true. You still give them basic utilities, but, uh, so it, obviously right now, since they're being private entities, yeah, he's banned, uh, who gives a shit, the conservatives that are crying. I thought you guys were all about the private, uh, businesses and corporations in you, but them like, oh, you can't bake a gay dude a cake. I thought that, you thought you were all about that shit.

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like, that's wild. You go to basket robbers and get a cake and they're like, we're not going to give it to you because you're getting. They're like, well, I got news for you. I planned a whole day based on this.

I can't get my fucking cake now. Are you serious? I want to fudge you to fucking whale. I can't get fudgy to win. Yeah, yeah. It's, it's just wild. Like, he can only go on Onlyfans now.

Like, that's the only place that he could go. He has to go. He has to go. He does it. That would be grouching. ground breaking. I'd be ground shattering. I'd be like, god damn, this world makes no sense.

At that moment, I would join Army. $25 for photograph, high-res photographs of my wrinkly colon. $50 for x-rays of my urethra with patriotic music. I don't know, man.

Make America gape again, bro. Make America gape again. Yes, there it is right there. There it is. Right. That's like that's episode. Simps episode. It's just fucking crazy.

And I don't know. That was good on you. Good on you for that fucking move. I definitely wouldn't have had the, the audacity, you know? Because I definitely did think about it. I thought about it too. I was like, oh, man.

Nah. See, that's, I appreciate that, like, we all thought it. Like, people, so many people were like, oh, dude, now's, that's, that's, a great time for a parody cap now that he's gone and yeah I just I don't know I don't

that's the uh it was you know what's funny you know it's funny though it's kind of like the opposite of like a I am Spartacus you know like where like everybody's like I am Donald Trump except it's like not in support it's just sort of like

making fun to fucking shit on him yeah it's it's wild I don't know how this is gonna like obviously he's still the president he has like like he has the president account I don't think can actually be banned

like I don't think you could really ban the POTUS account I think it'd be kind of like weird and like kind of off putting Um Okay gotcha sweet appease I have a question after you're done No no so he has so what I'm saying is like he's not technically

Like the president isn't silenced You know what I mean like the president can still say whatever the fuck he wants It's just like when he's a civilian again He can't And I think that's probably going to lead to him making like some kind of like It's like some Trump social network or some Trump Trump TV Trump radio like I think that's what he's going to do I think he's going to become dangerous which yeah that's the kind of thing it's like I don't know if it I don't know if this really

I don't know we'll see how this pans out But what were you gonna say? Okay guys Okay so you know how so these moments moments like that when you really fuck up and everybody takes time To make fun of you usually that hurts me people's feelings. That's like a thing that like, like, you fuck up in class and everybody yells and you makes fun of you. Do you think that Trump understands how many people genuinely dislike him? Like at that moment, how many people came out of woodworks and were just shitting on him? Like, he had a bunch of people defending him. Don't get me wrong. But he had so

many people just vapidly shitting on him. I don't think he does. How does that affect his psyche? Like, how does that affect? I don't think he does. I genuinely, I genuinely believe that he does not paid attention to the quote unquote haters and losers. I think he only listens to things that are positive. Everything else is like I, it doesn't even, before it really gets to ingest in his brain and his psyche, it's already gone.

Like the way that he acts, like the way that he speaks, he always says shit like, everybody knows this. Like everybody knows the election was stolen. Like everybody, what do you mean everybody knows this? Clearly they don't.

That's why you're not going to be present anymore. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. That's the one that he talks. You. Yeah, it's a little weird. I don't think he cares.

I think he's a very sensitive person, but not in the way that most people are today sensitive. I think there are a lot of people on the internet who will be like, who will take things really seriously and like who will get like really bent out of shape over like benign criticism. I don't think that's him. I think he gets upset when people, like if he loses in any way. in anything. That is the stuff that I think infuriates him. Because I think there's like this whole thing about like his niece or his aunt or something coming forward and saying like, yeah, and his family like losing is like the ultimate shame. Which is why he just can't accept that he lost.

Like he's just not, he's just never going to do it because it's like it goes again. Like if he accepts that he loses, he's probably destroyed psychologically at that point. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I totally make sense. Based on his behavior, that makes sense. Yeah, and there are people like that. Yeah, yeah. I've met people like that and they're not, they're a little scary.

You know, they're not people that I were. It's fucking megalomaniacs, dude. Yeah, yeah. I don't people don't learn that. Like, I guess it might be like something like hardware-wise wrong with them. That's a hardware. Candice and, like, but like I, you got to learn how to lose, you know. Like, that's one thing I learned from playing sports when I was little was like, oh, I'm not always going to win.

Well, he definitely didn't play sports. He's because he fucking, I don't think he was telling people fucking, my dad. owns this building, bitch. I fire this person. Yeah, yeah. Daddy, fire him. But, yeah, no, and you have these videos of, like, what is it, the people who were trying to fly home who are getting, like, stopped at the airports, and because they're

on no fly lists. There's this one dude who was, like, walking away from, like, he was like, I love all of you. They called me a terrorist. I just saw that. I just saw that video today. I saw that one. It called me a Karen.

It's so wild. Like, it's so fucking weird seeing that. Because, like, on some level, like, I get, it's like, I don't, I can't care about people who, like, willingly, like, put themselves into a situation that, like, I wouldn't put myself in. Like, I'm just not, I'm not going to siege the capital for, because my guy lost an election. You know what I mean? Like, that's just not something that I would, that I would mentally ever put myself in the

position of doing. So it's hard. It's like a tag on NBA if your team doesn't win the fucking championship. It's, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's like, do you know the fucking... Did you ever see, like, that Stranger Thing season where fucking Sam Wise fucking dies? Yeah.

Where, like, the guy who plays Sean Austin, who blocks me on Twitter, by the way. Like, I don't know what I did. He blocked you. He got fucking with him, bro. I didn't do shit to Sean Ashton. I've never... I just saw Lord of the Rings like a year ago, you know?

I don't fucking... I didn't even know who he was for long time. He kept fucking bitching about him not picking up the gun, and they got to him and now, look... Chris. Yeah. He found out. No, but like, the second I saw him make that, that crucial mistake that I wouldn't make,

I was like, fuck this guy. Like, I don't give a shit. So it's like, part of my emotions are that for, like, all these videos of people getting stopped. But part of it is also, like, man, it, I feel kind of bad that, like, we have a big population that was so, like, susceptible to just, like, imagine. Manipulation. Yeah. Like, it's, it just.

paints a really depressing picture of like how our education works because like dude imagine literally imagine literally dying for like a reality TV show host who like sold you out a day later you know

like that is I couldn't like that is so fucked on in my my mind like genuine like psyche like I don't get what he like glam like vampirically glamored people. Like, they're insane.

Like, it doesn't make sense. Like, these people are, like, there's a, there's a cocktail. He's telling us, he's like, there's that video too where he's like, I love you. You know, I love you all. I love you.

Oh, yeah, he's like, I love you. You're very special to me or whatever. Very special piece. I'm like, yeah, you guys are fucking special. It's very. You're on the spectrum special. Like, like, fucking Jesus, man. The whole, like, I love you, your special thing.

Like, it, it was very, um, like patronizing you talk to a fucking pup yeah but it was also like a church thing that it reminded me of like a cultish

yeah like I love you you're special and you're special because you follow me well that's kind of the whole that's the whole thing like

I did a stream after I got banned or whatever and I mentioned that we kind of have to we're all we're all kind of like shock and like oh how the hell this happened this is insane then it's like we have to step back and think about like oh yeah uh jones town we have to think about shit like that we think about wildall country i don't know if you've seen that on on uh Netflix just like that cult that was it up in Oregon like all these little things um uh with the waco shit like there are so many different

things that some charismatic person and they're not even that brilliant they're just good at talking. You know, I was actually watching a video about how the Flat Earth Society became a thing. And it's like a guy that dropped out in ninth grade or he was, he dropped out like very early in school. I think it might have even been earlier. And he was just good at talking. And he was so good at talking. Sometimes he would make scientists bumble their words, which they're usually not very good at talking scientists or just scientists. They're not public speakers. Yeah, they're good at finding

they're good at finding information. They're not necessarily good at conveying it. Yeah. And so that's what happened. He convinced thousands of people that the earth was flat by being a smooth talking pimp. And so you don't even have to be that brilliant.

And so that's what we see in Donald Trump where he said enough things to get, you know, the right people all riled up and to the point where it's not even about the country. the flag or you know right it's about him that's where you saw that statue they replaced the american flag with trump's flag and i'm like oh yeah this is this is just we're modern-day cult like we're literally witnessing it i'm also just confused about like the association with like the confederate flag with like patriotism that also doesn't make sense to me it seems

inherently it seems it seems it seems yeah it seems inherently contradicting i don't i don't understand it but the the thing that's interesting about all this and like obviously like this is a super like this is a pretty, I would say, left-leaning podcast, all things considered. I'd say we're all, we're not right-wing people, you know, by and large. So I get like this could, this might feel a little like,

oh, echo chambery and like, I get it. This, the issue is like, if you're like right-wing, right, that's one thing. But it's like, if you're like this kind of like, in the simp territory, you know, where you're just kind of like... Yeah, like, I can't think of a president that I've ever like...

Like, I was excited for Bernie to potentially win, not because I was like, oh, I love this guy. I can't wait to just unconditionally love this guy. It was just like, oh, I can't wait until he's in there because I agree with a lot of the things he says. And I just, like, I can't wait to bully him into doing them. You know, like, that's kind of the thing. it's like these are these people are like working for you these aren't like you're not when you elect a

president you're not like picking a father figure you're not like picking a new like deity to like worship every sunday like you're you're picking an employee who's supposed to work to benefit you and the country that you live in and you it's your it's your job to kind of like put the pressure on them to do that like they don't need like the most powerful person on the planet doesn't need unconditional love and support. They need they need scrutiny like intensely and like if you're if you're like a conservative dude like Collins a conservative dude he doesn't like Trump he doesn't support that dude he doesn't like simp for the president. That's a different thing than being like to the then being so far gone that you've bursted into the Capitol building because your guy lost an election like these

are very different things. That's what I think of every time like first of all people just don't have deductive reasoning skills, I guess. Simply. They can't deduce like, oh, this is fine. This is not fine. This is okay. This is not okay. You know?

Like, I may not be a fan of Trump. But let's say, like, who am I a huge fan of? Let's say, like, fucking, I don't know. Like, Raquan, the chef lost in the president's from fucking Wu-Tang. I'll be like, oh, I may be upset, but you know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to potentially, like, do treasonous activity, you know? That's like, it just, it doesn't make sense to me. You see, the whole thing is, and this is the issue that, like, because both of you

were saying lost, they don't think they lost. Right, right. But there's proof you, like. No, no, no, it doesn't matter, though. Sweeney, there's proof of so. No, no, no. We know, look, look, I said this, I'll send a stream yesterday, I said. And I said this to people, because I know, I know there's a lot of religious people.

Most of the country is religious. I'm not trying to be disrespectful on purpose, but the vast majority of people that were there also believe in zombies. They believe women can get pregnant by just being, I guess, wished to being pregnant. Like, oh, you're proud. You don't even have to go that far. I'm not even going to dig into the whole religion thing. Look, look, look, you don't have to go that far.

There's proof that the earth is round, my guy. Like, there's proof that the earth is a sphere. Well, absolutely, right? No one that has flown. If you cannot, if you've gone to Europe, if you've gone, I've been there. Kingston, people lose. You can see the curvature of the earth. You've been to Greece, right?

Yes. When you're going toward Europe, you can see the earth curving. I mean, I've seen ships go over the horizon and they look like they're fucking falling downward. You know, the last thing you see is the ass of the ship because it's curving. You can see. If you see a ship on the horizon far enough, if you can actually see that, it looks like it's fucking sinking. Because it's just going around. It's going down.

It's curving. Off the fucking planet when you're talking about it. But there are people who will fly and look at exactly what you're looking at and see proof of the exact opposite thing. It's crazy. I don't understand it. But I've heard people talk about it where it's like, yeah, if you ever go on a plane, did you ever notice fucking this, this, this and this? It's like, what the fuck? That literally, that literally is, you're describing proof that the earth is round,

but somehow wording it as if it proves that it's flat. And I just, I don't even know how to communicate with that anymore. I saw a documentary that did that same fucking thing. Yeah. Where it was showing the curvature. It was the wildest thing I saw. It was supposed to be proving that the flat earth theory is correct. And one thing they showed was across from this lake.

You can see the city looking like it's sinking. because it's further enough away where you got some of the curvature going on. And I'm like, it's right, guys, it's right there. It's right there. It couldn't do that if it was flat. It looks like the city's sinking because of the curvature. At that point I was like, I have to turn this off.

I just, because I was like, they have to have something to believe something that's like, I guess that's like unprovable, I guess. You know, like one of those type of things where it's like. Yeah, it's like a God situation where it's, Like, you can't, you can't disprove the existence of God, but you can prove that the earth is fucking a circle. That's what's the fucking sphere. You can, you, God, that's a little tough, you know. It's, it's, it's an extra-dimensional thing, whatever it is.

It might not. It's un-falsifiable. Based on all the feats that God has, based on all the feats that God has shown in his anime and his manga and his in the manga from freaking made by the Jewish people. Sure. Based on all those feats, it's hard to just prove God in any sort of fights, any sort of bout, you know? But when it comes to things that are very apparent, like if you look at me and you tell me the sky isn't blue, the sky is fucking orange, in a broad daylight, I can no longer fuck with you. Well, the sky could be orange. You are no longer, no, Chris.

I've seen an orange sky. Yes, but if it's daytime in a clear sky, the sky is not orange in the daytime. Do you remember in San Francisco when the sky was red? That's because of something else. That's not just the sky. Well, the sky's red, though. If you tell me the sky is fucking green, fucking lime green, like fucking sprite or some shit.

You mean like Namik? Yes. The sky's green on Namik. You're one of them. And Namik's real. You're one of them. Mamik is real. How would they have just invented Namik?

You know what you do? I get a bit of plan right now. It's called you're a fucking idiot. There you go. It has dolphins and pelicans and shit on it. That's it. Dolphins. Only dolphins and pelicans.

Just dolphins and pelicans. It's a huge species war against the dolphins and pelicans. Do you know how vicious pelicans are? They're not nice. They're fucking. Neither are seagulls. They're the apex predator of birds. No, they're not.

Pelicans eat eagles. No, they don't. They do. That's so hilarious. Yo, look up. Pelicans will try to eat anything. Look up. Look up on YouTube.

They may attempt to. They're not eating eagles. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, listen to me. Look up, Pelican, eats, eagle. I'm not looking this up. I'm not looking this up. It's so stupid. It's fucking wild.

It's not mocking that up. You guys are both lying to me, first of all. I'm not talking. I would have heard about this. I would have heard about this in one of my fucking. Where? You listen to Pelicans Weekly? Like, what are my sign?

Like, you did you know? Did you? Because I've looked at books about Pelicans before. I've seen books about them. I would have brought up like, oh, the pelican, the apex predator of birds, they don't fuck around, they eat eagles. I've looked at books about pelicans before. When I was little, I would have been like, oh, pelicans are, like, you know those books that show you all the animals in the kingdoms or something like that?

Like in certain kingdoms, then they have the dinosaur one, then they have the extinct animal ones. I've seen them, that one were birds and they would have had some sort of cool package. Enough, enough, enough, hold on, hold on. Enough time has passed. Enough time has passed now that I'm sure anybody who heard that story probably Google. it already and found that it was not real. So we're going to go ahead. Someone Googles that really quickly.

They're like, what the fuck, Pelicans? Look, we got... Come on, man, New Orleans. New Orleans Pelicans. Why do you think? Come on. They're the shit. Why do you think? Get right with God. They're not the shit.

Get right with God. That's such a fucking big thing to be told. It kind of is. It's very disrespectful. Get right. Oh, my fucking God. All right We should move on to questions Because we got a metric fuck ton of them

Actually really question loves Yeah it's a stupid amount Anybody talking This is probably Like this No surprisingly But this this document's probably gonna last us For a fucking while

I'm still updating it obviously The month is still early But this is all the questions We've got so far this year Show me my shoulders A little bit Get loose Yeah don't get loose

Crizzly bear Chrisley Bear wrote in Said hello Virgin Miranda Simp Chad Talley Simp And play Mass Effect Before I Rum Tum You bitch

What does Rum Tum mean? I don't know It's not good That's all I know Yeah I think Yeah it's definitely not a pleasant thing I'm gonna look at what Rum Tum means Continue

You don't like rumtum your kid to sleep or anything I feel like I don't even want to say those things together No you don't Really short question But should make for some good stories What's the angriest you've ever made a teacher in school or a superior in the workplace.

Also, thank you for telling me to watch Castlevania. Season 3 had some stupid plot points, but great show overall. I really liked every single season of that show, but, fair enough. Glad you liked it overall, because that show's awesome. Some people are just too, their standards are too fucking high, and they want everything to be like the greatest thing of all time. Not every season is going to be season 2.

Season 2 of Castlevania is one of the best seasons of anime, period, ever. I'd argue that, I'd go on my deathbed and argue that. seen any, I haven't seen enough anime to make that claim, but it is very good. But season three is amazing. But yeah, so I, this, I, this question fucking rung, threw me back in time because I remember in like seventh grade, I, this was like the beginning of seventh grade. I was like kind of new to the area. Like we had just moved upstate. I was going to school. I brought a glass snapple to lunch every day, or at least like most days. That day. That day. I haven't had a little lunch bag, the fucking brown paper bag, everybody, everybody's had him.

And the class was almost over and I had lunch next. And I lifted my bag up to take a sip of my drink because I was like, I'm so thirsty. I'm dying. And the bag fell about like three inches and the glass kind of like cracked a little bit and it was spilling on the ground. And I was like, excuse me, Signora Valente. Can I get like napkins for this drink that's spilling all over the ground? I'd like to at least save this or at least like clean up before I make a fucking mess. I was trying to be a good fucking person, genuine.

I was like, I don't want to make a mess. I just want to fucking solve this problem for you. And she was like, you're not allowed to have glass bottles in school. Go to the fucking the detention room for lack of a better term. I was like, yo, what? For having a glass bottle? Are you fucking for real? and she sent me off

and from that day that was the third week of school maybe and at that moment I was like I'm gonna fail this class because I am dedicated to making every single day

of this class absolute torture for this person that's so petty it was bad I was not a nice kid but the problem is like everybody hated her already and then I had like that

you met Robb right have you met Rob S of you yeah it was not Rob Basingon this was like a high school friend of art he was in the same class with me and a couple of minutes later after I went into detention that first day he showed up

and walked through the door because he like stood up for me or whatever and we both like ran these like tactical ops it's like how are we gonna fuck this class up today like how are we gonna and we would bring like it was really bad like it was it was like in retrospect I sincerely would like would

apologize to that teacher like there was no reason why she should have dealt with like demons like that. But like we would bring we were, she, first of all, she sat us across the room opposite of each other so we couldn't talk or whisper but that didn't stop us because we would just, we would bring

action figures to school and like pretend like we were fighting the other action figure from across the room. It was a fucking nightmare. And I failed that class. What, what grade was this? This was like, this was seventh grade. This was a while ago. Maybe eighth, maybe. But, uh,

It was pretty bad. That's crazy. That's insanity. What about you, Derek? I know the exact. I have two stories. What's one for you? I think about this one every once in a while because of, I think it's my, the reason why I pretty much, no matter what price anything is, I always just want to, like, throw out the two bucks.

I always want to say two bucks or something. Like, oh, how much is this worth? And, you know, and just kind of, it's, sometimes it's very disrespectful if somebody wants a good price for something. You're like, I don't, I'll give you two bucks. I have a thing. And it was, I think it was in geometry in freshman year. And my friend, Jesus, is a very large human being. And he would put his feet up in the, there was like under the desk,

there was those little sections where you can put your books under, like those little whatever the fuck you call them baskets or whatever. It's like a cubby or something. Yeah. And so, GZ, he had his feet on them. Like he always does, but then he fucking broke them one day. They just snapped. And this dude, Mr. Gentry, fucking went on this monologue of just disrespecting the stuff.

And then he ended off with, and I didn't even say this to be funny. I was just kind of like, it just naturally came out. But he's like, do you have any idea how much these things cost? And I was like, I don't know, two bucks. And then, like, the whole class started laughing. And he was so mad because, you know, obviously nobody was taking him seriously that he kicked me out. Like, I've never, I was like, what the dude? Like, I didn't, I was just, I don't know, man.

Like, I didn't see it as, like, me trying to be a piece of shit. But I guess from his person point of view, he was like, fuck this kid. This was, this was freshman year of high school, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, you're a kid. You don't know what the fuck. You don't know the value of those things anyway. Of course you don't.

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm following two bucks. I'm like, I don't know, like, whatever. And then he just was so mad that he kicked me out. I was like, I was not expecting that. And that, like, a lot of people remember that. Because I guess it was just one of those good comedic timing things because I wasn't, it wasn't like I was trying, but it just, it struck him so well because he was so angry.

And I guess the real answer was to not say anything is really just, it's like, yeah. People bring, it's one of those, like, iconic things that everybody who was there just remember. Like everybody, like, a friend of ours, Paul was in that class too with me in Spanish class where I dropped the bat. And he brought it up. We met years later, actually, and he was like, oh, you're the kid that, like, that cracked the bottle in Senora Valente's class. Like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Dude, it got so bad. One day, and Paul will corroborate this, if you ever ask him, she lifted me up by my shirt. Like, I'm not, like, like, this. Did you have a smug face on, too? That's what makes it the best. Yeah, it was, she lifted me up by my shirt and dragged me out of the, like, this is a real. It was so bad. I bet, like, if I watched that, that, like, that class.

again, I'd be like, yo, kill this kid. I'd be like, yo, kill me. Like, actually kill this kid. So for me, there was a security guy at Bekipsi High School who he just hated me for some reason. I don't know why. He's just in my face. He's like, I don't like this kid.

He would always say dumb shit to me. He was always saying dumb shit to me. And like, every time he would make fun of me. And I'd be like, whatever, man, whatever. And then one time he said something, right? And then one time he said something. I was like, you know what man? how's your fucking mom, right?

And he was like, he got so upset because he was absent a few days earlier. It turns out his mom died three days before I said that. And I said, how's your mom? And everyone started laughing at him. Holy shit. And I was just, I was just, I was crying, laughing when I found out

because it was so unbelievable. And he literally hated me, dude. ever the one time i got into a fight that year he of course the one time i got into a fight that year dude he got his chance and he slanned me against a locker so fucking hard like a ragdoll and i was laughing and i wanted to say damn bro you want me to meet your mom sooner than later but i didn't say it because i was like that's fucked up but i was definitely different i was not i was not as kind hard as i am now but he he was such a dick dude Every time he was the one, he was the one that missed my friend's gun in his bag.

He's the one that always fucked up and said some stupid shit. He was a terrible security guard. And I was like, dude, what are you securing? Like, you're not helping anything. You fucking suck. And you didn't start this? You didn't start it? I don't think I started it.

I don't think I started it. I was just like, I think I made jokes. And like, I was always sort of a clown. And he hated the fact that I was a clowning person. But he failed to realize that I was also kind of funny. so it's not really safe to make fun of me because I'll just make fun of you back without knowing what I'm going to hurt you

and he didn't like me. He talked to my grandma one time when she came. He was, you're his grandson. He hated my cousin also. My cousin was another kid that went to that school and he tried to fight him. So I think that was like a generational grudge. I hate this found towards me,

but I was just like, I didn't do anything to you, bro, but the whole mom that really fucked him. I never apologized either. I never apologized. You're a fucking kid too, so whatever. That generation- I was like 16-17.

I wasn't really a kid, but like... Yeah. That generational thing is a real thing, though, like in schools. Absolutely. Like, if you have, like, because I remember when my, my niece went into school, when she moved from Arizona over here, and she was like four years younger than me. Because, like, I have a half-sister with kids. It's a long story.

But she went to the same school that I went to, like, years after I went there already. And, like, she was like, oh, yeah, people keep asking me if, like, if I'm related to you. I was like, oh, oh, no. Like, I don't like that. Like, I'd prefer to just, like, not. I'd prefer people, especially staff, to forget that I was ever there, you know? Like, I don't, it's never like a good feeling to be like, oh. Apparently it was mostly good except for Spanish classes that didn't, you know, I didn't set up a good.

Oh, I was, I didn't set up a good, what do you call? Rappore. I didn't set up a good reputation for anybody who was going into school after me with, with our family name because I didn't think anybody would because this family member of mine, that entire section of my family lived in Arizona until I graduated. So like I didn't think I had to think about like future generations of my family going to school. For me, I was the clown and then my family, my cousin was the hothead. So he was hothead and he was the one that always like fought someone.

And then I was the one that never took anything seriously. So I was the one like bursting out laughing in class like Kingston get out of class. Like I was an AP class is laughing my ass off at things that happened. and ended up like Kingston get out like I remember when I remember when we read Tom Sawyer I think someone said the N-word and I laughed my ass off I started just cackling

like I started fucking screaming because of course it was a white girl that said it and she was so not okay with saying it and I was like you see it you better say it come on say it say it say it and she said it and I was like and she said it and I was like it's not funny

Mr. James but I was like that's fucking hilarious and I got kicked out it is funny I still I still try to I still try to make white women say the N-word because it's still funny me. I tried to make my girlfriend say it and I was going to buy her makeup if she said it. I tried to get here to say. She still hasn't said it? No, she was like, this is not okay and I don't want to be a part of that.

And I was like, you're a real one. I actually love you. If she would have said it, I would have broke up with her, though. That's fucking terrible. You don't say that. You don't break your moral values with some fucking makeup. What are you talking about? You don't fucking do that.

So was that a fucking test? That was a trap, you fucking bitch? I was recording her too. So I would have had it against her for the rest of my relationship. That is the snakeiest fucking greasy slimy shit. I'm not a good person.

I'm not a hero. You should be a fucking car sales mini fucking sleaze ball. That is actually. It would almost work, man. She was like, she's like, no, I'm not doing this. This is ridiculous.

I'm not saying that. And I was like, damn, bro, you got morals and shit. I fuck with you. Oh my God. That is fucked, actually. That's villainy. Yeah.

but so what? She didn't say it, so it all ended well. I ended up finding a good person. But like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Zach Parsley, whatever. Zark Parsley wrote, uh, Zach Parsley wrote in. Uh, he said, y'all killed Dr. Dre and gave the other one COVID. I just want to, I want to read it. Dr. Dre, first of all, I don't think we've ever, have we spoken about Dr. Dre on this podcast?

We definitely have. Have we? I'm sure at some point. Because of Dr. Drew being so close to Dr. Dre, we've definitely spoken about the two of them. At some point, or at least mention in passing, I don't fucking know, dude. Look, I don't remember, I don't remember bringing up. Maybe it was in one of the dark tanks, but I will say, Wow.

Is that supposed to be? The fuck is that supposed to be? It means, it means I don't remember doing that. All we talked about was fucking Van Halen, Sebastian fucking Bob. Johan Mozart or whatever the fuck. Yeah, exactly. Don't fucking put that shit on me. I talk about Bon Jovi.

We talk about Bon Jovi in the dark tank, right? It's only, it's Barry Manelow or no one. I'm a man to I seriously can't recall any time Like even when we talk about Eminem I feel like Dr. Dre has barely mentioned I think the only time I've ever mentioned his name Was talking about that track

Crack a bottle Because since he's a part of it I think maybe that's on him So you can't blame Dre on us Also he's still alive He's just aneurysmed up He'll be fine eventually He had an aneurism

He'll be fine Yeah He seems fine He seems fine Yeah, look, if you have an aneurysm and you're still around, you're probably, you know, you're doing all right relative to somebody who's, you know, had an aneurysm and it's not around him. Yeah, pretty much you've got to like, as soon as anyone can figure out what the hell is happening, they just got to get in there, like, immediately and you have a chance to be fine. That shit scares me, man. Yeah.

Every time I'm talking about this, it, it's actually, it brings dread to my heart. Let's get moving past to this. And Ice tea, though, Ice tea was fucking giving the updates, and I appreciate him. He was like, literally, I got news for you. He's not. But he is gay He is gay I got news for you

He's alive But he's gay That's crazy Also All right So we didn't You can't blame Dry on us I will to

If here's a thing If Drew You know If he If he You know Sheds this mortal coil

I will I will take response put you in prison, bro. They're going to fucking lock you up. Yo, I didn't know it would happen. You're that kid that does Bloody Mary over and over again until one day you're found bodies like found ripped up in the bathroom. Slaughter it torn apart. Just keep doing it.

Keep bloody merry. I hate that shit. Yo, when you find shit like that, leave it alone. Like, don't. I hate that. The people in the movies who are like, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. And then they get fucked up. It's like, I can't.

The thing I've never even tried that with like real legends. You know what I mean? Like real shit? Yeah. My, my use to scary. Oh, sorry, go ahead. Look, I don't understand how there are groups of kids that are like this girl did this and her body was found X amount of miles away in his condition. And the kids are like, you know, it'd be cool.

Let's all meet at my house past dark and then do that. And it's like, no. No. Let's meet in the woods. Let's meet in the woods where there's no cell service. Let's meet in the woods on this Native American burial site. And let's have an orgy. It's like, I'm not doing that.

Do you hear about a real story? Like some people in the woods found a like voodoo doll in a cave and they took it home. And then all some weird shit started happening to them. And I'm like, why would, if you found like, a fucking crazy-ass weird carved doll in a cave would you fuck with that thing? No I don't, let me tell you, I wouldn't

take a PSP that was sitting in a cave, all right? Like I'm not... No, that's way too suspect. Anything that's in a cave? That's the only thing I would take. I would take a puppy. I'd be like, all this puppy's hurt. Yeah, and then somebody smashes your fucking head in with a mallet as soon as you poke your head

out of the cave. Like, you don't fuck up. Like, that's the bait. That's the bait. That's the bait I know, but like you, but like, look, look, look. Derek, you're lying to me right now. If you saw a whimpering puppy in a cage while you're Spillonging and you're like, yo, I'd probably call somebody because it seems way too suss to me. You know, that's true. I think that was being like, this is a puppy and it needs my help.

But at the same time, I don't know this place enough. And why is there a puppy in a cage in the middle of like an opening in a freaking. Yeah, but you know fucking Dylan, Dylan would do the right thing. He'd be like, oh my God. Listen here, Kingston. Listen here, right, dude? Listen here, right, bro? We can't leave this puppy here, bro.

It really needs our help. I'm like, dude, Dylan. Dillet, buddy, your condo waddling. Nah, man, you can leave if you want, bro. I'm gonna take this puppy home, and I'm gonna raise it to be my best friend. And I'm like, well. That fucking puppy has a bomb strapped to it.

Yo, to it. Not even like inside it where it's like, it's strapped to it, and the kid doesn't think there's anything wrong. Oh, this is such a fancy collar you've got Why does this puppy have a vest on? That's a bomb. Why is this puppy's collar beeping?

That's a bomb. If you have a friend that's that stupid, do you try to save them or do you run off and leave him? Why is his leash a long, why is his leash a long wick with a spark slowly climbing up it? Why is it say TNT? Why does it say Acme TMT on it? It's a fucking candlestick bomb Like the fucking bowling ball cartoon bombs Oh my God

Oh my fucking God What was the question? He almost got to the question I don't even think we got there We didn't even get to one We just got distracted Uh Let's see

Let's see let's see what we got here You know what dude Can I like run and piss real quick Yeah yeah Derek had to go piss So yeah So we're just here Maximo redacted rodin

And he says What's up dude Hey gang I have a simple question What makes games like Destiny solid shooters? This is a very specific question. Easy? For me, yeah, we make Destiny a solid shooting game is the one, the feel of the weapons.

So in a lot of shooting games that I've come across beforehand, and still some afterwards, including Call of Duty, every gun of an archetype feels like the same gun of an archetype, you know? Destin not only are the designs all pretty different when it comes to, like, the legendary to be like, I'm pretty sure every legendary weapon has a common weapon that looks similar to it, you know, because there's only so many models. Yeah, yeah.

But they all of the ones of certain rarities, they all have different looks and designs and sort of things that give them their own, particularly the exotics. The exotics are all very their own kind of gun, you know, nothing's exactly like an exotic. The sound design, something that Bungie has been doing very well for a long time, every weapon sounds like its own weapon. Like, yeah, there's, there's. I've been talking about this for a really long time because I think it's actually like a really underrated aspect of game design where it's like, you know, weapons in a lot of first person. In Call of Duty, I can't really tell you that, like, if you were to play the sounds of like a FAMAS or like an M16 or like a whatever other gun, like I could tell you that they're different weapons, but I wouldn't be able to tell you which one is which. but like with a game like Halo and a lot of bungee games particularly they do this where they you know they will

they will design weapons not to sound not to sound realistic or not even to sound particularly powerful but to sound like distinct and unique and like you can you can tell like even if it's across the map you can tell like oh that's an SMG oh that's a red death oh that's a crimson for me the telesto the telesto as a gun that gun has the most unique sound because it sounds like birds chirping. Yeah, it's talking about fucking

Destiny. We answered the Destiny question while you were gone because we figured that would make... It's just that. Is this attention to design in the shooting and the weapon design? It's a lot of attention to detail. It's that, but also like, the question is

like what makes a game like Destiny a Solid Shooter? I think honestly, like one of the few things that matter is whether or not it feels like your bullets are connecting. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just me, but like in call of duty and in a lot of shooters I feel like whenever I'm shooting an enemy my bullets are they're not hitting them it feels like I'm going through them like so I guess there but it's almost like I'm shooting like a hologram it's like not really there it's not

really reacting to my shots but like in in bungee games in general they tend to like there's animation like the people get hit and there's like visual feedback there's sound design feedback to let you know that you've hit hit things and then That's coming to call duty in the last couple, in the last decade, I think, that came to it in the form of, like, hit markers and, like, the, tch, ch, ch, you know. Oh, yeah, when you actually, yeah, yeah. But that was missing for a while in call duty. Like, I remember, like, I would hit people and I would have no idea, like, if I was even making contact with him. You would get a sound, a love other, you would get, like, the alert sound of a kill.

You would just, you would just get the hit marker, like the X, but that was it. But, yeah, I don't know. There's a lot that goes into making shooters feel. right, because even I've noticed, like, some of them I'll play, and I'll be like, even just looking around feels wrong in this. You know, like, I don't know what it is. There's something that I played recently that was like that. Oh, my God. Fuck, I'm gonna, I, I'm gonna fucking remember. Cyberpunk feels a little bit off. Like, like, when, when you're looking left and right and

just like, you get used to it and you adjust pretty quickly, but even just that, like, the way your gun moves to, to the camera angle. It's, it's a lot, but. It's not a shooting game, that's wise. And you notice when you play shooting games, you notice those kinds of things. That's true. You're like, oh, this would be doing this. It's the best shooting in a not shooting game, though, that I've played, in my opinion. But yeah, that was your destiny.

Thank you, Maximo, for the question. I'm going redacted. Normally we would save that for the solos, but we found, you know, we might as well just do this. While Derek was out pissing, how was your piss? Oh, man, it was fucking, it was life-changing, dude. How green was it? it was actually surprisingly all clear I didn't see that coming

I thought it was gonna be like fucking brown I thought it was just gonna be like you said I'd probably just beat my dick yeah is is that the qualifier every time I peed after I've like beat my dick or had sex is all super clear that's for me at least you might just

you might just have you might just be drinking correctly I thought that's what that meant but you know I've never actually looked it up. I've never verified when Piss is clear what that means. It's definitely... It's definitely... It's pretty much more water than anything else. That's what happens. It's definitely how you... Just passing through you, I guess. Yeah, it's definitely how you drink.

I'm not sweet. I'm not superhydride every time I've had sex in my life. It doesn't matter. Hydration isn't the issue. It's about like what you've got in your body, like, liquid-wise. It's not about like whether or not you've drank water. It's about whether or not you've drank 10 gallons of coke or not. You know, like, there's like... It has nothing to do with whether or not you've fucking coomed You know, I'm pretty sure it's a good I've noticed that about me

I don't know anyone else I've never really watched anyone else pee After they had sex I'm not really that kind of guy That's my ass function That's interesting That's an interesting observation That's interesting You have brown person you gotta go to hospital quick

That's blood I mean it's usually It usually looks like You know like the Like fried chicken You know like the fucking The batter Is that, isn't that normal?

What's happening? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The color might be. It's like... It's like fried chicken grease. Like an egg shelly, like creamy color. With the same consistency. Like an extra crispy kernel.

Like, I thought that's the shade of all people's be. Like, or, or sometimes just, sometimes, like, you ever have a long junk with the chocolate on top? You know, like a fucking, like a chocolate donut? reddish brown piss you gotta quote to a fucking yo somebody called a doctor man

and and it and it hurts it a lot when I pee but a lot do you remember back when Will Sass you remember vine first of all

yeah back when Will Saso was making fucking like the best vines that anybody ever made it was one of the few people I followed

there was this one vine I can't if anybody by the way if anybody can find this, please send it to me on any platform that you can reach me on. I've been looking for this video for years

and I can't find it, but it's a video of Will Sassau and it's like, it's something about like a colorblind man noticing that he has like a serious problem or something and he's like taking a piss in a toilet and it's just forceful

red pissing into the toilet and he's like hmm, that's weird. My piss is a darker shade of gray than the lighter shade of of gray it normally is. And it's just this, it's, it cracked me up so hard that I fell asleep. And I, I, I, I, I fucking lost consciousness when I saw it. And I never found it again. Oh, really?

Yeah, like, I never, his name. His name's Will Saso. But if anybody can find that vine, I, I would really, like, I, I will personally chat you, like, I'll say anything on, like, if you have, like, a message to the podcast, I'll fucking, I'll say it. Like, I'll be your mouthpiece as long as you send. me that video because I need to see that video again. I love Will Saso.

You're not going to find it because like every time I try every time I have to search Will Saso piss vine, you know? And it's like, it's never You probably have to sift through fucking the vine compilations of just him. I know and I just can't Yeah, right. I can't do it. I can't justify I'll do a quick search. Will Saso piss vine

and immediately I found it! Oh! What the fuck? I've searched for this years. How soon ago was it posted? How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, ages. Okay. See, now I can't, I can't, I can't fucking excuse that at all. Somebody, so, no, so, no, so, because the, the, it, the, it must be in, like, comments that are, oh, and it searched up the, I hate when that happens. That's so irritating, do.

It's such a good fucking video. Look, he saw it, you watch it. You can tell it, because there's joy in his fucking heart. I'm gonna retweet this. He's got fucking, he's got fucking great. He's got great minds. Yo, it's so bad, bro.

If you're pissed looks like that, you're in danger. It's not even, it's not even just like the red coloration of it. It's the forcefulness of it. Like, where it's like, it's a fucking fireho.

Like, Will Sassau was so funny. Like, those were, he made that platform from me. like him and like a couple other people. Yeah, Vine was fantastic for a while. People like to shit on platforms wholesale, but like I mean like there were a lot of pretty good

people on Vine. Yeah, there was a handful. There was going to be good people in every form of everything. Yeah, I can't think of any good people on Facebook, but you know. Yeah, that's fucking. My mom, I guess. Yeah, like my family, I guess, some of them. You know.

Forceful piss, dude. That shit's hilarious to me, bro. Oh, follow up on the dude who, uh, who, uh, follow up on the dude who, uh, who, was talking about bringing his PS2 to I think it was university or something where he was like asking us

our top PS2 games the whole IRS wrote in he says greetings taxpayers that funded Obama's Michigan Lakehouse slash drone factory electric bills due to unforeseen circumstances involving my dog wanting to kill anything

that moves also known as my disc tray my PS2 is out of commission and I will be bringing my Xbox 360 slim to college now the Xbox related question is as follows. Would you rather have the earth be invaded by the locust

from Gears of War or the Covenant from Halo? By the way, Chris. Years. Yeah, yeah. Well, so, you've played Gears of War, right? I feel like, Derek, Derek.

I played one to three totality. Derek, you played gears, right? Yeah, I played all of them. Yeah, I thought you would. I feel like we've had conversations about this. Yeah, I think we have. Yeah. But the Covenant are aliens

from like elsewhere and the locusts are like from underground but they're from a different planet though that's the thing what do you mean because you're not on earth in gears well you know what I mean like yeah we're on their planet they're on

it's essentially earth though I mean like it's just it's different history and different yeah it's like reach you know like it's not earth but like ostensibly it is in this context yeah yeah um I

I would rather know that aliens exist from elsewhere than know that there are mole people underneath us? No, never. Especially because they were they were sinking cities

with a giant worm! You remember that? There was a whole fucking thing. Dom! Dabbs! Fucking! Car mine! Dude, like, I don't know, man.

Like, the idea that there's these things just carving underground is like way more unsettling to me. No, it's not, bro. No, it's not. It totally is not. No, it's not. Even aesthetically, man, even aesthetically fucking locusts, look.

No. Locusts are on roids without being on roids. They're fucking massive. You guys are, you guys have it all wrong, okay? So first of all, the locusts are just mad that you're on their planet, right? That doesn't. But listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. The locust are just maddy on their planet, right?

And that's insane. But think of, Chris, you've played all of the Halo games. Think of how bad fucking shit crazy The Covenant worship the fucking They worship the shit that brings They worship the rings They're fucking elites Dude, one elite would beat the stifling

Fuck, I have a few locusts No, but listen, but that doesn't matter Because the aliens Can be reasoned with Like we've, yes, yes they can Oh that's true No, you can reason with You can reason with Arbiter and a few of the Sanhili.

You can't end some of the grunts. A lot of them. You can't reason with the covenant. Like the High Covenant themselves, you can't reason with them. You can't reason with a single locust. There's no single locust that's going to hear you out. I think a grunt could kill a locust, man. No.

No, of course not. Of course not. No, no. That's stupid. Yeah, maybe. That's silly. I don't think you've played enough gears to know this. Chris, I've played a lot of gears.

Not enough. That's silly. That makes it worse. That makes it worse, Kings. Chris, because you're saying obnoxious. Chris, Chris, Chris, think of it like this. Do you think anyone in Gears has a remarkable, I think everyone you play as in Gears would get fucking deep dick by chief?

That's a different story that we're not talking about the people. Now, listen, listen. Elites can, can. It's very possible that an elite can kill a Spartan. Chief has plot armor, but an elite can kill a Spartan. One chief, one chief would have no problem against probably all of them. You can't put the plot armor characters in here. We're talking about the non-plot armor characters.

We're talking about the aliens that are the enemies of both factions. We're talking about hyper-advanced alien races that have a lot of tech and a lot of power, but are also part of a fractured government that is collapsing and is splintering or a group of jacked mole people that cannot be reasoned with that are essentially fucking like zombie Pokemon all they do is they say they say what they do

you understand they walk around and they say boom or like fucking kill that's all they do I'd rather any day because the covenant exists, that means the flood somewhere around there. And I'd rather any day. I'd rather any day. You're thinking way too much in like lore and not just looking at what they are. I would rather, I'd rather a locus and elite any day. I'd rather, I, you guys understand what elites can do.

I understand. I would rather deal with a locust. I would rather deal personally as an individual with a locust than. an elite, but that's not the question. The question is the Earth is being invaded. The question is by what? The question is our Earth currently. Still locust, man.

Still locust man. The Covenant has fucking planet glassing beams, bro. Planet glassing beams. They blasts, they glass portions when they want to. If they want a glass whole planet, the whole planet is like a fucking marble. And the locus can destroy our planet. Cities. They can destroy cities. They sink cities,

right? You know what's worse than sink in a city? Turning a fucking plan into a snow globe. But why would they do it though? Because they just can. They have the ability to do that. But see, why did they do it though? See, the thing is, like you said, like Chris is saying,

a lot of these people can be reasoned with. There's maybe a reason. They have a point when you have the locusts are being controlled by a queen. And it's like, oh, this person is just going to destroy everything if they so please. I don't see the, I see maybe if we get lucky by chance, we'll find another Sanjali that thinks a little bit like Arbiter,

but I do not see that happening. I see it happening as they're going to come here. I'm like, oh, you guys are still upset about colors of your skin, and they're going to start tearing us apart. One elite could probably beat like 30, 40 Marines. Thanks, and let me put it this way. Let me put it this way. The Covenant come in spaceships.

They come in ships. They come from wherever. They have their ships loitering in the sky. They have banshees. They have ground vehicles. hover around, right? Terrifying. We have defenses for all of those things.

We have turrets that aim up. We have flak guns that aim up. We're used to taking down aircraft. Do you know what the locust have? They have worms. They have planet-sized, they have, I don't know you understand. They have city-sized worms. I know, I'm aware.

I played for. There's no, there's no turret that aims to the ground. Anti-ground guns. We don't have anti-underground guns. We are infinitely more capable as a current society to fend off the covenant now than we are the locust. Absolutely, I will die on that hill. Because of, I don't think we are, but I think we are. I think we have items.

We would still be, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I think we'd be fucked regardless. But we'd have a way better shot at getting through to the fucking. The idea is this, since they come from below, they will be able to surprise us, right? That is a truth. They have the ability to surprise us, you know, and we have nothing to really do with that.

I mean, we can have things that can monitor, like, you know, like, geoactivity. But, like, how to fuck do you stop a city from sinking, you know? You don't. But the thing about the covenant is that we have no means of combating them. Like, we have no means. They have fucking, they have armor that literally has shields on it. Like, you shoot an elite and the bullets won't hurt him. It'll just hit his shield.

Grunts are the size of. you Derek and wider than you if one of them gets inside of a building it's taken a lot of people with them you know then they blow themselves up then when they realize oh man I can't win this fight I'm gonna blow myself up a plasma grenades you know I do think that the covenant has a you're right they can be really have a possibility that they give you reasoned with but when it comes to combat like oh they're going to drop some if if if we're doing fucking if we're doing um what's the name of the mode and um in halo if we're doing firefight right? I would any day rather have a fire. I'd rather deal with horde than firefight.

See, if the, now the question was about an invasion, right? Yeah. It was an invasion. And now is the invasion with the intent to kill all like humans? Is that like it, because it doesn't specify because to me, if there is, I don't think there should be an assumption. An invasion could really just be somebody's just coming down to chill, but then other people like, would assume it's an invasion. You don't invade. That's not what invasion is. Someone coming down to chill, someone's coming down to chill and invades.

Yeah, I mean, you don't know that, though. You don't know what I'm saying is you don't know that. If aliens came down in droves, like right now, right now, if aliens came down in droves, people would automatically assume it's an invasion. That's true. It's like District 9. Like, District 9, like when the ship landed in fucking South Africa or whatever, that would technically qualify as an invasion, even though it's not technically an invasion.

No, it's not. That's not an invasion. That's what invasion is. You're missing the point. It's like literally based on who's looking at it from what angle. Yeah, that's interpreted as an invasion. You could interpret what happened in District 9 as that's an alien invasion because aliens have literally come down to our planet and decided to live here. Like that's not true. And we had no say in it.

That's interpret. But this person is giving us. No, it's not interpret. If I walk into your house, Kingston, Kingston, let me ask you something. If I walked into your house, like we don't live together, I walk, you don't know me. I walked into your house, set up a tent in your basement. I meant you no harm. I'm not trying to hurt anybody. I'm not trying to take anything.

I'm just saying, hey, I'm just going to set up shop here. I'm going to live here. That's intruding. That's intruding. That's intruding. That's a home invasion. That's a home invasion. That's a home invasion.

That's the definition of a home invasion, Kingston, what I've just given you. That's true. But the thing is that this, okay, if you, if, like, let's say right now, he said they are invading, right? Right. That means I would assume that they're invading with hostile intent. because that's what the question's giving me.

I'm not going to work around and try to figure out what he means. Like, oh yeah, they're coming. They're coming to invade. I'm going to defend myself. That's it. They're here to kill us. I am willing to assume that given the nature of the question that, yeah, it's probably a violent.

They're probably going to be like, let's get rid of these people and then just take the planet and we'll probably be able to get through these couple billion people in like not too long of a time. Let's just get rid of them and take the planet and use it for whatever the fuck we want after they're gone. That would be my assumption as to what, like, because that's kind of what,

like both of them are doing anyway in their respective games. No, don't get me wrong. But I'd feel like, what's up? No, no, I was just going to say, I feel like, you know, factions of the covenant, you can, it's like, what, what's the deal? Why is this happening? And then there would be, I feel like there can be dialogue and conversation. I really do.

Like, if we're trying to get, like, really into the, you're very right about that, the covenant, they're more human. So they can talk to them. Well, I feel like, when it comes to, like, local. and then different parts of locust, it's just like they're literally mindless drones. They're brainless, they're drones. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do with that? I understand what you guys are talking about. But if they're invading to kill us any day of the week, I'm choosing. I'm pretty sure with luck in a lucky shot, I could kill a locust. With lucky shot of a shotgun, I could probably blow its head off. Yeah, I don't. There's no way. Unless you're fighting a sire.

Or a boomer or fucking any number of other... I understand that I understand that. A bursker dude? A brumok? Have you thought about the brumocks? That's true. But thinking of it like this, there is room? Yeah, I don't think anybody knows what that is.

What the hell is that? What the hell is that? The brumack? Those are the thing in the first trailer, like the big, like, hulking thing with like the gun on its back? The giant like dinosaur looking at them. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah.

I think of like this. The berserkers, like, those fucking giant chicks that just run at you. If they literally fucking hit you, you explode. The blind. They're made of diamond. They're made of like fucking diamond and shit. Kingston, I think you're really underestimating these things because you don't, you haven't played these as extensively. Look, I think that's fair.

I'm not underestimating them, Chris. I just know what the covenant's capable of, dude. But you can take the covenant's guns. You can't use them. They're not built for our hands. What? You can use them. Marines use them all the time.

What are you talking about? Chris, think of. Don't argue with me on this. You're right. You're right. You're right about that. Chris, think of the idea. Think if they just send one invisible Sanhili

They send droves of visible Sanhili to kill people You're, that's it We can't even track them Here's what we'll do We'll, I'll Man, I wish you could set up, you guys I wish you could set up polls in In, uh, YouTube comments

That would be so cool Yeah It's astounding that that's not even something That they've even tried But right, um, I'm curious as to what the audience thinks of this If anybody's like, I'm sure there's a lot of people who don't know any of these who haven't played years.

It's also hard to compare them because they're so fucking different. Like say, if Sweden, like if you played Mass Effect, like maybe I can be like, oh, the Turians would be a better comparison

to the covenant because they're highly intelligent and they have a bunch of military stuff. Like there was the first war. They had the first contact war was with the Turians. There was like a huge thing. It would be easier to compare

with the type of aircraft and intelligence and all that shit where the local are so fucking different. Like, so I think that's kind of where it kind of comes into where it's like, you're thinking of the superior firepower and tactics and everything that they have versus these ground drones where it's like kind of a hard thing to you. Like, oh, easy.

Because, I mean, I will admit the fucking covenant would decimate the fucking locusts. You know? I think so, too. Yeah, so. And that's what my argument comes from with all the company. I see where you're coming from with that. I just feel like it, The locust shit seems much more terrifying to me because it's like there's ground monsters.

Like these are these moles that are, they look like fucking 17 gorillas put together. Like they're just, they're so, they're too big. Do you don't think, okay. Now, I know that the drones are definitely, like, because one, one drone, like, I'm sure a gunshot could kill one of them. I don't think so, man. Like a, like a, like a, like a dagle or a rifle? When you have like a fucking lancet, when you have your lancet or your machine gun, you have to empty like, almost. like almost the whole fucking thing to like take one down.

They're all muscle and all of it is just driven by just a sheer hive, like a pure hive minded will. It's like there's no, it's almost like there's no impetus to even recognize pain. But I guess I'm my, my biggest thing when it comes to me because, you know, obviously our answer is going to differ. My thing is the perception. Like just like a dog barking is I'm way more,

it frightens me way more than. and the threat of it actually biting me. That's very true. And I feel like the locusts, they look so fucking terrifying. Like they, like, I don't really feel terrified when I see like any type of covenant, a league, grunt, anything. The hunters, they this look like, oh, they look cool to me. But they don't look fucking, they don't scare the shit out of me, like, say,

a regular fucking locust piece of shit. Like, I'm like, dude, that is terrifying. They're scary. You know, that moment in the first gears game, I'm getting into Gears of War mood, kind of. So am I. I kind of want to play it. I haven't played gears in so long, but I've been to fuck out of it. Dom!

Dude, that moment... That moment in the first, in the first game where, like, they introduced the blind the berser is fucking terrifying. Like, still, like, I think if I play that today, like, still... And you got to, like, click your empty magazine and it'll turn around and, like, run towards you, run into the wall. Yeah, and it just breaks... It just breaks...

It's breaking through shit. Yeah, and you got a hammer of Don and outside. That's such a great... Like, they're scary, man. Like, I don't know. Like, I would, I, I would want the opportunity to fight, like, a grunt, even if I know it would kill me. Because I just know that, like, oh, man, at least there's, like, at least there's, like, tech here that I could, like, fuck around with. Like, if I get lucky and I hit, like, a grunt with my car or whatever the fuck.

And I could, like, suddenly, like, I have this tech that's like, oh, man, a plaza pistol, this is cool. It'd be a two-handed weapon for me because it's so big. But, you know, just that. There's none of that exists with. the locust. They just come up there with like normal as ballistic guns from like they take from you guys. Yeah. Bullshit that they've gotten from the cog

from the gears. Right? It's fucking scary, man. Like I don't know. Like anything that comes from below is is fucking scary. The size was scares me because I was not afraid of grunts until I realized the size they were. Then I realized how big Sanheelie are. And I was like, what the fuck? Also,

they are huge. Like the covenant are really big. All the covenant are really big. Like a hunter? What are the They just don't look that big because Spartans are pretty goddamn big. What's the name of the rhino dude? I forgot the names. Oh my God.

The brutes? There is no, if one brute was put inside of a building like a fucking five-story building in New York City, he's killing everybody in that building. And he's going to be fine. He might actually be at a disadvantage

because he's not big enough or he's not small enough to maneuver through the building well. He could probably break through shit. But, fuck, I got interrupted. Oh, The other thing with the locust that is like a horrifying implication, right?

If they're invading, like, I'm assuming that these things are invading the way that they would in the game, right? They're coming up. They're coming up from the ground. That, the implications of that are terrifying by themselves. Absolutely. Because that means that the earth, the way that the earth is structured is not at all. It's just not at all what the fuck we thought it was. Like there's enough room in the crust, the earth's crust to sustain city.

and fucking entire civilizations like I'm more comfortable we'd not notice this yeah how did we not notice this? Like how is this just coming like no one

nobody fracking notice this it's a fucking oil tycoon mountain Halloween they didn't fucking know that there was fucking creatures down there living there all the oil tycoons yeah they're just like are you noticing all of these like

weird like gorilla men coming up in our oil do Oil drink. Imagine they hit a fucking oil vein and a fucking whole last Locust shoots out. Bro. That's like

pops on the floor. That's a different world, man. That's a different world. It kills everybody there. I'm actually really curious. How tall, like, in real, how tall is a locust the drones, right?

Years of War. Seven feet tall. So that's how tall the drones are. That's so fucking stupid. So they're all shacks, dude. They're all lures. And like the main boss in the first one, like how tall is that fuck? The dude, because that motherfucker was like...

With the fucking crow aura around him? Yeah. Oh my god, Ram? Yeah, General Ram is like, he must be like 15. He must be almost as tall as Cayu. Fucking... Dude. Oh, he's 10 feet.

He looks way... He looks way tall. He looks way taller. He does look way tall than that. That's not true. That's what it's, I don't know, this is the first thing that I'm seeing on amino acids.com. I mean, Arbiter. Can that get any more broie?

Dude, look, so one of those, so one of those, a drone is seven feet tall, right? Master Chief is seven feet, seven feet tall. Seven, Sanhili's are about eight and a half feet tall, dude. They're taller, yeah. Not to mention the maneuverability of them, dude. Look, we won't keep going on. We won't keep going on. quick.

I'm curious as to what the audience who has any context for any of this, if you've played gears, if you played Halo, if you have any generalized understanding. I'm curious as to what the audience thinks, because this is probably like the longest

we spent on anything. But they're more wide. Yeah, hunters are, hunters are huge. Yeah, I also think we're not really taking into account like 10 feet like we think is like,

oh, that's not so, that's not so tall. Oh no, that's Gargantuan. It's pretty fucking, like, it's, look, look, I'm, I'm six foot two.

I'm six foot two. My father's six foot six and he's big. He's a big, a big man. Yeah. Yeah. I could imagine fighting somebody. Could you imagine fighting someone that's stronger than they should be at eight feet tall and they're fast? That's so crying.

I'd be crying. Like, why are you so fast? Why are you so fast? That's fucking terrifying. Dude, being as tall as a basketball hoop, man. being like fucking 10 feet tall and then just being able to fucking maneuver like your whatever

like you're anything dude imagine you know what terrifies me the most imagine fighting someone and you blinking your eyes and they're completely out of your range that is scary I've never experienced that but that could fucking kill me dude

you blink and he's like in back you and you're like that's too that's too fast no dude that's that's not hot How much did you? So I got up to nine feet before I ran out of space in the room. So like a 10 foot, a 10 foot creatures, but I think that's actually right. I think that's pretty accurate.

10 feet's fucked. Like, I don't want to deal with anything that that's that tall. Yeah, I wouldn't fight that guy. I wouldn't fight him. I would just try. I would hope I would hope I could run away from a long enough that he'd eventually break through something and die. Like some weird occurrence happens and he gets hit by a fucking like random saw. blade from through the window and he dies.

All right, let's move on. Yeah, okay, go ahead. Let's move on. Let's get out of it. Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot in the whole IRS. Now we're never going to forget it. Yeah, that's going to be all over the comments, I'm sure.

Fidel Cashflow. Nice. I wrote in. He says, hello, my adobe flavored Oreo. Do you guys have any real life escort mission stories to share with us? My best one was where I had to stop my drunk friend off of a... What? Had to stop my friend drunk off of a

bottom shelf whiskey from getting Maliwopped by a girl's boyfriend at a rise against concert? Holy shit! That's pretty dope. It's real specific. I had to lock him in my car and make him sleep it off. Man. Oh shit. I'm trying to... Escort mission. There was one of our friends. There was one of our

friends. Eric Chris remembers this day. There's one of our friends who got really drunk. So she's our friend. She's a good... She's a great girl, but she tends to get like fucking, like, blitzed every time. she comes here. I'm not going to say the person's name, but you know. Right.

The one, the one, for the, about the, the, she's the same girl for that. I'll just, our friend to like disappear at life as Emily. Okay. Well, she was really drunk. And I,

I sleep in the living room in our old department. Our first one. She was really drunk. And I was like, she was like, I'm going to go home now. I'm going to drive home. And I was like, hey, dude, you probably shouldn't do that.

You know, you're very drunk. and I had to wake up. That was like one of the most instinctively nice things ever did because I woke up out of my sleep. I was half asleep still. And I was like, hey dude, don't drive home drunk. You'll get in a car crash. And I had to stay up with her for like three hours until she passed out.

And then I passed back out. But she almost just went off, drove across town in Glendale, California. Well, mind you, you could get into a car crash by obeying every rule possible. Yeah, it's driving in Glendale, California is, is... A nightmare. It's fucking twisted metal. You know, there's no... There's no semblance of any rule of law.

Like, it's like... It's like crazy taxi, but you're like... Yeah, it's like crazy taxi and like Mario Kart battle mode. You know, it's just like, none of it makes any sense. It's really, it's really wild. So yeah, that's probably a good call. Yeah, that was, that did happen in the old apartment That was wild, I was fucking terrified

What about you guys? Oh my God I'm still trying to think I don't think I don't think I've really Been a, like I didn't See the issue is Escort missions are typically Like, stories like that

Where like you've got a drunk person Or you got somebody blitzed out of their mind And you're trying to like, you're trying to get them through something You're trying to like, I don't get you home safely or what the fuck but the chances are like when I was younger I didn't really hang out at

at I didn't really hang with people who were doing that like I wasn't really drinking a lot in high school like I didn't I didn't drink at all until I was 20 because I had like a very specific like thing against alcohol I was like I'm like I can't I can't do it

but the second I started it was like there was not going to be a situation where there was somebody else who was drunk and I wasn't. It was just not going to happen. That's true. That was not in the cards.

So I feel like people probably have pretty good escort missions about me. But I have nothing. I've never helped anyone who was drunk. You're pretty good drunk. I've never seen you like fucking. I've seen you in agony, but I've never seen you like, fucking like falling on the floor and shit like that. No. You've definitely seen me like really plastered like to the point that I'm like, I'm whaling out.

but only like maybe once or twice I kind of stopped drinking like that because like I was like 21 and I was already like regularly used to getting blackout drunk and I was like I can't do this anymore I'm gonna die young so

what a thought what a thought to just pass through your brain like that I'm gonna die young I should stop yeah like fucking I don't know like I'm typically pretty self-aware even when I am like I remember there were many occasions where I was the drunkest person in the room like by far like by a reasonable

margin and I was still being like hey guys we should keep it down you know like I remember these moments of lucidity where it's like hey guys keep it down I don't want to get a noise complaint and then I would turn around and go back to being fucking plastered and being just like destroyed um I don't know I got to ask around to people who I've been drunk around what about you Derek I have one story that I think I've kept off the internet because of just how bad it somebody could try to make it sound but like nothing happened

but it could have been completely disastrous where when I was I think I was like 18 or something and I was in a band I was in this metal band with like we're all like 17 18

and we just got done playing a show and we were we our basis was in his suburban and like we invited some people into it so it was like some girls from the show and some other people I didn't fucking know because they're all from like

Lamaada, Norwalk and all this shit. And it broke down. And my car was parked at the base's house and it's like, fuck, this is annoying. So his mom came, took some of us one way and then some other people went another way. And so there was like two or three people left over when we got back to the Basis house. And it was these two girls that needed like a ride somewhere. And I'm like, fuck it, I'm going this way. I'll drop you guys off wherever you need to go. I think there were sisters. I don't fucking know.

I don't really remember. All I know is, it was like, one of them was like, could you drop me off in front of, or not in front of NBC Suites, but at NBC Suites, I'm going to go to a fucking party. I'm like, fine, it's on the way. So, and I'm like, all right, I feel weird. I don't want to just drop.

What if she gets, like, murdered or something? That's stupid. So I actually walked her up there just to make sure everything was fine. And the weird thing was there was a bunch of, a dudes, like, party and, like, being very, like, promiscuous. Some dude was doing, like, blow in the bathroom. I was like, what the fuck's happening here? And then one of the guys was like, hey, where you've been on my life?

And I was like, oh, dude, I got to go. I was like, I got to go. This shit's getting wild. Yeah. You got some free Coke, man. Yeah, I wasn't really into that. I was just like, to me, I just wanted to go home, played a long show, whatever. And then the last girl, I'm like, all right, so where the fuck's your home?

What do you want me to take? And then I don't remember? I don't remember where, but I remember I turned around and cut through this alley that I like to go through sometimes, and a cop happened to be chilling that alley. And I'm like, oh, that's weird. Now, I'm not thinking shit because I'm not doing anything wrong. But it is like two in the morning or something. So this is where the story gets fucked up. Like, the cop starts tailing me.

And I'm like, oh, fucking dumbass. And then I'm like, all, everything should be cool. I'm like, are you good? I'm like, you're fucking like, how old are you? Like, curfew's fine. and then I forgot I think she was like 17 or something too because like a lot of the band members are 17 18

and I'm like you know what actually that seems awful and then so me I'm like kind of thinking like oh this could go like wrong because I'm already 18 like this could be terribly wrong anyway I pull over and he asked me like oh yeah who's this chick whatever and stuff and the guy

and this sucks because he was a brother and he was like kind of giving me attitude and then he was like yeah you're out kind of late and stuff like who is this And I explained exactly what I told you guys. And he's like, he's like, you know, I've been in this business a long time. Like, I just don't believe you. And I'm like, I have no reason to lie, bro.

And then so he had to call this fucking Brod's parents just to like make sure. And here's the worst thing. He was like, all right, would you mind stepping out of the car for me? And I was like, no problem. And here's the worst part. So around 2000, I think this was 2006, I was getting like really fucking fat. Like that was like, and no muscle. So my pants that I was wearing, especially after a hard-played show, I unbuttoned the top one.

Like, just the top button, you know, my zipper isn't down or anything. But the thing is when his partner was like, do you mind searching you? And I was like, yeah, I don't fucking care. He saw my pant was unbuttoned, the button was unfastened. And he was like, what the hell is going on here? And I was like, oh, I was like, dude, you're not going to believe me, but I'm just getting fat, bro. And then he's like, you're right. I don't believe you.

long story short i got so lucky that her fucking parents showed up and they were just like yeah dude whatever like why the fuck are you bothering me like there was like both of them showed up and it was like a yeah show something happened i guess nothing happened to me like it was totally fine but he didn't believe me and she the parents said like yeah that bitch supposed to be at the show and then obviously all of that bullshit happened to where that that is that is that is that is what i i i've have grown accustomed to calling a Seinfeldian circumstance. It was so... That is...

It could have, like, everything could have not been around anymore. You could have been a memory, bro. That's like our friend Paul has had a similar thing, like, where he was driving across the country. He was driving across the country. He was, like, moving across the country. So he had all this stuff in his car, like, a lot of, like, his important belongings in his car.

And then he was, like, taking it slow. He was, like, driving from Florida to California. It's a long drive. You stop off some places. You hang out. and then, you know, one day his car was stolen and people, like, they stole it to joyriding

and to, like, steal shit from other places. And apparently they caught the guys and they got his car and they got it back to him and he was able to drive to L.A. But, you know, he was like, yeah, I need my car. I got to drive it, so I'm sorry. Oh, but it's evidence.

It's like, I get it, but, like, I need my car. So they gave him his car. It's covered in fingerprint dust. it's covered in like the fingerprint dust that they used to scan for fucking prints and like figure out like where people are going and then he realizes oh i got to go to the airport to pick up a friend of mine who's landing in l.A. the same day I get there. So he drives to the airport in a car that is covered in fingerprint dust that is registered still technically as stolen with with his appliances like a pressure. cooker with his guns and he pulls up to the airport and he's like he I think he like he stops by security he's like hey listen

I have guns and a pressure cooker in my car I swear I have not trying to pull it but just like the idea just the idea that you could end up in that situation where you're like you end up at an airport with a gun a pressure cooker and a stolen car is just like and you've done nothing so fucking wrong

and you've done nothing wrong That's like that was, I was cracking the fuck up when he was telling this to me. I got lucky that like, what if the, what if they're, what if that chick's parents were like just evil? What if they're like, this guy, he's, he's trying to do son of my dog. Like, I would have been fucked. I would be completely different person. It would be completely, like, it would have been totally fucked. You wouldn't have made it this far.

You would have been a memory. And I was just trying to be nice. So the moral of the story is don't be nice. Don't be nice. Be smart, bro. I mean, really, because, but who would have thought, like, oh, I'm just giving, the problem was, I guess I didn't know these people, and that's where, because usually could, but I'm just like, oh, well, they're friends with the band, obviously, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'll just drop them off, and I'm going to go home, get a fucking burrito and then go to sleep. And, yeah, that shit was fucking terrifying.

That shit was terrifying, especially that dude was giving, that cop really wanted to nail me, man. Yeah. He really thought, like, he busted, like, some fucking pervert or something. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to be a hero. or something use me a dick yeah cops are cops cops cops can be pretty

antagonistic like for no reason like I remember like I um like uh I met my like I met my girlfriend she was at this she dances at a club and this was in New York this is a while ago this is like a year ago at this point

and I was like I went to I went to go pick her up it's obviously like late at night because it's a it's like a it's a dancer's place like it's a fucking you know it's a club and I'm driving her home, right? And then a cop's like, a cop shows up behind me. I'm like, oh, my God.

And I'm in New York at the time. My car's not there. I rented a car. So it's, car's not mine. I don't have registration. The car smells like alcohol because I've just come out of a club.

Right. And, like, this dude was like, hey, you been drinking in that? It's like, no, I'm just really tired. It's really fucking late. I know this isn't my car. I don't have my registration or anything. And it was just like this weird.

The only reason I got, got out of it is because he saw the girl in my in my fucking passenger seat and was just like I guess I guess whatever like she talked him out of it

I was like I would have been fucked yeah if it was just you would have fucking knocked your head around just me I was driving home in a car that's not mine and I reeked of alcohol God damn it I love it it's the worst dude I've I haven't had a cop experience in a long while because I don't really drive too often yeah

But like I just don't want to deal with it. Because I'll be like, look, officer, I just don't want to just what do you want? What do you need? I would just give you, go and me to suck your dick. Just leave me alone, man. I just want to get out of this. I just want to get. Yeah, it's the funny thing is a lot of, I don't know, because I was talking to my mom and she thought like, oh, make sure, you know, being in L.A., make sure you're safe, you know.

And I told her, I'm like, honestly, I feel safer here because more people look like me. So they really don't have any reason to single me out. And I don't drive like an asshole. That's true. And I would say 60% of the cars on the road drive like complete assholes. It's astonishing how I can't even believe it. I was just like, wow, these people are risking death every few minutes. And anyway, yeah, like, but when I lived more where I grew up, it was much easier to, like, pull me over.

Like, oh, the random black kid, there isn't that many black people were in my fucking hometown. So I could pull over every once in a while. And when I got a new car, I don't know if I ever told this on the story, but like, real. quick. It was, I purchased something from this auto dealership like, oh, I financed the car, like a piece of shit and didn't have the license plate on yet, but it had a DMV paper in the window. So it's like, oh, a cop should know what this is. He pulled me over anyway, because I was traveling with my black friend Brandon. And the weird thing was, and I just showed so much restraint because when he walked up to the window, he just opened the door immediately. And

I was like I was so appalled that my instinct was to be like what the fuck are you doing but I'm like don't say anything he's going to fucking beat your ass but I was so shocked

that I'm like can you can you do this he just opened the door before he said anything you're not supposed yeah they're not supposed to do that yeah and it was my I guess my dumb ass fault

for not having it locked but still I was so fucking shocked this was probably like 2015 or something 2016 those nuts that's how I beat my guy I have somebody

I think that's how a lot of people get Swiss cheese though man they do the reaction they have is the wrong reaction and then they get fucking the shit kicked out of them because my reaction

my first instinct would have been the right yeah but if you want to live that's the wrong reaction yeah everybody's first reaction whenever they're pulled over

is like fuck this asshole yeah for like inconveniencing me I'm already stuck on this planet and I have a long day and now it's longer because I have to talk to this this drone of the law

who's just going to be treating me like I've already done something incorrect and it's just like oh my god it's like pushing you yeah because it's not like the thing is it's like they don't they're not pulling you over because you did something right

you know like you're immediately in a position you're immediately in a position where you're antagonized like right off the bat So it's already like an uncomfortable situation because it's like, all right, I'm being harassed and I can't do anything about it. Like, I just have to, I just have to fucking deal with it. I can't even tell how many times, like, in my head, I've just, like, screamed at these people as I'm, like, smiling. You know? I'm just like, oh, you know, I'm just, I'm just coming home.

And I'm just on my way home after it's been a long day, you know. And in my head, I'm like, I can't wait for you to go home and, like, you find your wife with someone else. It's just, it's. They all deserve it. It's infuriating. It's just so fucking infuriating. But that's just part of it, I guess. I can't even tell. I remember when me and Jalen were driving. When me and Jalen were driving, miraculously, when me and Jalen were driving across the country, we made it from New York to California in about like two and a half days, three days. We really booked it. But we only got pulled over twice. And it was me first and then him. in two

I think it was in Pennsylvania and in Ohio so like two consecutive states we got pulled over we got tickets we got speeding tickets because we were just trying to we were hauling ass

but I don't know man it's cops aren't fun they're not great and what's next that's nice

added on a high note we got we got time for one more yeah so let's see and on a high note Oh, you're putting a lot of pressure on this next guy. That's some bullshit.

So we can laugh our asses off. I need it. You're putting, okay. I haven't cackle at all this episode. How many family members of yours died? That's the question. That's the final question. I could ask.

What's your favorite moment from Schindler's list? When Quigon Jin fucking has the final battle with fucking Hitler? Holy shit. When Quigon Jinn says he went out hunting for a black. like people to kill. He did that, didn't he? He did. He did do that.

If someone in this family got sexually sought about a black person, he's like, I'm going to kill a random last person. Yeah. He lives not far from us. What? He lived in on New Paltz. Oh, of course. It was a long time ago, but it's still pretty crazy that, you know, you ever got to that situation.

I've never thought that ever. I've never thought that. If my cousin gets beat up by an Asian person, I'm not going to go hunt down Asian people, period, you know. You never thought that? Damn, that's crazy. That's crazy, huh? You're going to talk to Mark Wolbach some more.

Yo, he almost killed somebody, bro. Marky Mark in a funk bunch. It's so crazy. Like hate crimes, it's like, you never fathom it, but there's like plenty of them and celebrities at that. You know what I found out recently? This is one of those things where I feel like I learn it every couple years because I learn it, I'm staggered by it,

and I forget it because I can't retain the information. Stephen Crowder used to voice Arthur. Who's Stephen Carter? You mean like the The cartoon Kid? The cartoon What?

Yeah Stephen Crowder is a conservative Commentator He's the change my mind meme Yeah He's the guy He's the guy who changed my mind He's sitting at the chair

And it says something Change my mind I photoshoped Chris next to him Where it says women are property Change my mind That's an old bit I can't I forgot you did that

Oh no he voiced brain On Arthur in Seasons five and six but he's like but like the voice actor apparently i and he voiced this this character in arthur i like conservative ideals in the kids heads fucking guy oh my god yeah he i hate him i hit his content he makes me angry i don't know i don't know you ever see his video where you try to downplay the AIDS epidemic it's the most bizarre video i've ever seen why you why would you want to do that i'm pretty sure you also tried to downplay like race in America and I was just like bro I'm sure you're so stupid if he would

download if he would downplay AIDS I'm sure he's done everything else because that's just bizarre you know age wasn't that bad right and I'm like what's like are you sure why why would you even say let's just let's give it on let's say even if it was the case what's the why what does that do it has to be mass consciousness or else everybody's going to keep giving AIDS the fucking those AIDS that slip it does it get, man. We got a good final one. We got a good final one here.

You thought I was, his name is, you thought I was Nizucoe Comedo, but it's really me, Leora Jenkins. That's his whole name. He wrote in, he says, Hello shorter George Lopez, slightly taller Kevin Hart,

and discount Stevie Wonder. What do you guys, what do you guys want written on your tombstone? Personally, if I die in the military, I wouldn't, I would want, I can't believe I died for this country. Love you guys. Stay awesome. P.S. Sweeney. Seriously play Mass Effect Trilogy, you bloody heathen.

Oh my God. I'm so sipping here and that. Yeah, well, if only there was a way to stop that. Okay. So, what do I want to? Don't bring me back. Don't bring me back. Don't bring me back.

Sort and simple, yeah. Yeah. Oh man, I don't know. I feel like I would want something, a little misdirection. Like, I'm not really under this. Yeah, something like, like, I'm, or you know what? I was like, I'm still out there. Just to make your wife and kids and everybody feel terrible.

You know, just, the son's like, I got to dig him up, mom. He's like, don't dig him up. I got to dig him up. he said he's not down there why would he lie about that then he would dig it up and find your decomposing body and he would fuck his brain up even more yeah I'd want like

just an obscure fucking just chapter of a book and it means nothing it means absolutely yeah it's just like page 40

of the chamber of secrets or something which is explaining like like one of the characters is just walking somewhere and it means nothing. It's just a fucking out of context quote. I wouldn't

I wouldn't be opposed to like denigrating whoever's buried next to me. You know? Why? What'd they do to you? Nothing. But like just like the person to the left of this deserved it. Oh my God. You know? Or something like that. Or even just, you know what? You know what? Actually, you know what?

I'll take it. I'll redirect it towards me. I deserve this. That's a good one. I'll put that. That'll be my team stuff. You spill your secrets to your wife as you die. Like, honey, I cheated twice and I have another family. Oh, my God.

Just to fuck her fucking rest of her life up. They're going to come looking for a year and soon. I like it. How about, despite what my death certificate says, I killed myself. I think that would be a good one. Just let people know. It doesn't matter what it says on there. It's fucking bullshit.

I grabbed the bulls by the horn. Derek. Derek Black, Black men. Absolutely suicide. Absolutely wasn't suicide. And I want to like a picture to be smiling with my fucking thumbs up and shit.

Like just like, Oh, you know, dude, you got the perfect. You got your RIP Marcus. Oh, my God.

That's, why did that not even come to mind? That's, bro. RIP Marcus. And it should have your real name above it. So it's just like,

Uber confusing. That's perfect. Derek Blackman, RIP, Marcus. That's crazy that some Carney killed me at. Like, some guy at Affair did that. That is so crazy. That makes no sense. I mean, I guess it makes sense.

We try to, like, decide how did that happen? Just he, because I don't think, because why would somebody type in some black guy, right? Now, does my name come up if you type in black guy? I don't know. I think what happened is some black guy. I think what happened was some black guy. I think he just typed in black guy, random black guy or something like that. and then your name pops the fuck up.

Like, that's the whole thing. Like, it's such a weird thing to stumble upon. I can't be the first thing that comes up other than some black guy. That's why it's so fucking strange to me. Yeah. This fucking asshole. You ever wonder, you ever wonder what it's like to be the first person? You know, like, if you Googled, like, white guy, like, imagine what it's like being that person.

Oh, that person? The archetypical white guy on internet. Yeah, just Google's interpretation of, like, what a white person is. White guy. I think I've seen you somewhere for. This guy looks like this guy looks kind of like

Stefan Malinu. That's what you just I was going to say that. Who's Stefan Malinu? Is it that guy of the food reviews? No. I mean he reviews

he reviews Taylor Swift's eggs but that's so this is the Google image for for a white guy on Google. So that's you know,

You know, it's crazy? The fifth picture for me for white guy on Google is a black man. It's a black guy with a fucking, he's a fucking long hair. He's like a Japanese haircut. He says it's a black dude. What? Why? It is.

I swear to God. I'm going to share my screen with you guys. Read the headlines, bro. Don't share your screen. I'm going to drag it in front of the capture. Fucking what the fuck. Read what it says, though. What is it?

What does it say? This is why white guy shut down a black woman. defending Kanye West and what the fuck is happening? The way this white guy shut down a black woman defending Kanye West in a black barbershop is pure gold. What the fuck

is that headline? You know, we have a lot of work to do to heal this planet. If you click the fucking, if you click the fucking link, this shows you a picture of a white man with waves.

I'd like to I'd like to also I'd also like to address the fact that what is it? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. So the fifth result for white guy is a black dude with a Japanese

haircut. And the seventh result is Napoleon Dynamite. So we have quite an assortment of people here. I love to. Why is there a white guy with waves, dude? But on that on that note, drip.

On that note, I think you know, speaking of waves, I saw a picture of some guy that had a puppy and he put a du rag on his puppy and he brushed the puppies every day and the puppy had waves. I can't believe you just interrupted

my outro. He just did that to wave. He just doesn't give zero fuck. Chris, do you not understand how ridiculous that is? I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about waves on a dog. I do. What the fuck? Why do you care about that?

Because dogs... Okay, you know what, never mind. Is it cultural appropriation for a dog to have waves? It depends on how the dog does his waves. Well, it's not... If it's a black dog. What do you mean? If it's a black dog.

Like an African dog? Can black dog say niggit? That should be the thumbnail. Can black dog say niggins? Oh my God. You can make that thumbnail if you want it. so bad you got to make it. All right. Well, I don't even know how to

I don't know how to get out of this. So thanks everybody for tuning in. We hope you enjoyed this daily dose of, or this weekly dose of trash over here at patreon.com slash the snark tank. Remember remember to like our stuff on iTunes, give us reviews, it helps a bit. You know, we've got Snark Tank, we've got merch over at snarktankmerch.com. Obviously on the Patreon, there different tiers. We've got a meet Canyon question thread up right now. So if you want a question

asked to meet Canyon, obviously make it a good one. I know a lot of people are going to be competing for eyes in that one. So like we got to we got to get some good ones. Get some good ones. But obviously over on our Patreon, $1 a month gets you early access to the show. $5 gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server and $25 gets you your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which I will Now do. Three. Two.

One. The strap-on Lacey used to peg Chris with a $25 sub. God damn, dude. Sweeney's Costa, Costa, Sweeney's Costa Rican girlfriend. Holman Brown's, how do they know about that? What are you talking about? What?

Oh. Do I even know any Costa Ricans? Holman Brown 98. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't know any, uh, Costa Rican girl. Oh, that's not.

Around 98. Diego Andre Hernandez. Hey boss, can you follow me on Twitter, please? Ryan Luchesse. I'm charging, I'm changing one letter every week to try to give Chris a brain aneurysm. That's fucked up. Slashy Scout. Atrosoni, Keith David shot Uncle Ben.

Please check out my podcast. How do we even get here every Thursday? You thought I was, that Japanese name that I said earlier, but it was really me. Leroy Jenkins. Master Chief's Hard is a Rock Armour Locked Cock Matthew Barrett Clark

Lowl, J.K. each shit live, you goblin twink. Hard hat skydiver. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian, absolute wagon. Chris is now an

empty husk of meat driven by the army of 101 bananas that will take Sweeney next. All new, all different. Paul Joseph Watson after he learned the Donkey Kong groundbound.

Oh my God. Yes. I want, can somebody please convince Paul Joseph Watson to go on TikTok and peel a banana. I just, I just

I desperately, I desperately want to see that, but I only want to see it if the little TikTok logo is like flashing here and flashing there and then it ends with his little screen that says Paul Joseph Musk. Monkey Monk. I was cock blocked by a turtle.

Alaskan oil field trash. Chris would be a twink if he gave into his urges. Little short dick. That's a good fucking hip-hop. name, dude. A little short dick. Yo, little short dick. Little tiny dick, the boy.

Lieutenant Lippton, not an FBI agent, Juan Punchman. Marcus Shorten, Mr. Fuck, Abusi, the Time Sweeperper, Papa Nergel, Ben Shapiro's Sleep Paralysis P-word, Danny DeVito's perfectly preserved penis, I require Chris piss,

murder assended, David Connolly, the dyslectic that feels Chris's pain, Dunderhead, homosexual POC from the cosmos. POSC. Lobotomized, yo, from the cosmos. He's in space. But he's also a person of color.

from space. I guess that's inherently like a person of color, right? No, not exactly. Right? Because they're a minority. Like, they're inherently like they're probably like the most POC.

No, no, no. That's not how that works. How does it work? A person of color refers to humans. You can't give alien the same shit. That's an alien.

You can't call an alien a person of color. It's not a human. Okay, can a dog have a personality? I don't know. They have traits. They can't really have personality. They can't have a whole developed one.

Dogs can't have a personality. Are you sure about that? They can have personality traits They have a personality They can have the traits of a personality But not a personality Yeah, because the whole person Because a dog's not smart of our personality

That's right, they are stupid Lobotomized Jesus Is my drooling Is my drooling divine savior Haco, seven-year-old fetus That's a late term Hachew! Not going to cut that out

Moto Zealot A Russian name that I can't pronounce I'm sorry I just can't I can't keep translating your name. What is it something with an ass? It's ass hunters, something like that. No, no, no, hold on. I guess I'll fucking do it.

My ass blaster? No, fuck me. It had to do with eating ass. Yeah, translate. I came to eat your ass. Okay. There it is. Remember that for next time when I get here.

Gotcha. Hiroshima spicy mushroom, slippery Steve and the stinky, sticky silicone sex toy Cyber Monday blowout sale. Super Sonic, Sween, peen, Sheen Requiem. A level one cleric. Derek's unyielding sex drive.

By the way, that guy, I appreciate because his, Derek's unyielding sex drive, the person, has a profile picture on Patreon of Kirby with headphones bopping like this, and it's animated and it's wonderful. How do you do that? I don't know. I think he just has a, if you put

a giff as your profile picture, does that. Dummy Thubmy Thick Dave, Big Dude 0444, Heartless Wretch, aka the Black Man from Staten Island, Uncle Tony's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where today's loss is tomorrow's sauce. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy. The ghost that lived in the apartment

above Kristen Sweeney, Jolly old dipshit, Hager Derek, the movie theater assistant manager, Carson Jones, Ethereum, the ghost of the weekly Reagan recap David. I added David at the end there for some reason. I just added a Keith David

pun to it. The Pergerian hunter deflated left ass cheek, all hands on dick, arrow, sunny chance, Mufus 1, El Cue Lebrone, Richter 86, and as always, King of haphazard, thank you all. King of half hazard. Hey, thank you guys.

for tuning into the podcast. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week with a fun little episode with Meat Canyon. So I don't know how long that'll be. It might be two hours like normal. It might be a little bit longer. Who knows, depending on how on a roll we get. Nice.

Just thanks a lot. I just want to say also just before we get through this, I know things are crazy right now. So we really do appreciate all the support we're getting. We do. We appreciate everybody on Patreon. And just thank you. Thanks for supporting this.

It's really cool that this is still something that we can do. And it's fucking awesome. I'm going to go. I'm going to go beat my meat.