The Snark Tank - #60: We Hate 4K Rick Astley

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

A food poisoned Chris crashes the party midway through! Blackface clowns, rick roll'd in 4K 60 frames, and what is the worlds framerate? AI voices, deepfakes, the degradation of reliability! What would you rather deal with? The same song forever or the same flavor for every food? What is the chilling origin of "Let's Get Retarded in Here?" Find out here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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for Indeed sponsored jobs. Hey, look. It's a little dead meme. Yeah, yeah.

Wait, I had something I was going to say. Boodoo pooh boo pooh pooh pooh Negalorian. That's it's

a Yeah. You know, I always love that good I always love that good wordplay, that nigger play. I've been thinking about for a while, and I can't decide if I'm going to do it. But I'm leaning more towards yes of selling Sonic.

No, no, no, Sega, but nigger shirts. You know, it's in it. It's in it. So it's like, nigger. Because when you see it, you immediately say it that way in your head. Yeah, you can't help it. It's like, what you call it. There's the, um, there's the, um, there's the friend.

Franklin memes that was going on for a little while where it was like everybody's making from Franklin and I saw one that it had Sonic the hedgehog in it and Sonic called him nigger like that and I was just it was it tore me down I it tore down every wall I had as a person I was open I was open to new experiences I fucking I fucking recorded I I took a screen recording of that because I saw it recently and I was just like this is in it and it responded the idea because I've been sitting on this idea for a while. I settled for, so I have a second channel called Black Chad that I don't really use.

I found a guy on Fiverr that makes the Sega jingles and he can say whatever you want. That's amazing. And so I told him, could you do it in Black Chad? And that's going to be the intro to my Black Chad. So I was settling for that because I've had this idea for at least two years. I'm like, I got to make nigger shirts. But I was like, there's no way I can do it on. T-spring. They'll

fucking, they'll reject it. They'll reject it. So I was just like, I have to get them printed locally. You gotta go underground, bro. You can't go through, you can't go through corporate for that. You got to do it off the books. Yeah. And I'm like, that's bullshit, though, man. Like, I feel like I should be able to. It's like, hey,

I'm a black man. I can say nigger. So why can't, why can't you print nigger for me? Because, Derek, because that's implications. People, People like, like don't get me wrong. That's hilarious, you know.

But some people can't really say that's hilarious that are ruining their careers, you know? Yeah, there's, man, it's, it might be one of those things where I can only do it for myself probably. Like, I can probably, like, there's certain things that I've printed off of a T-spring that I'm not selling, but I printed them for myself. because, oh, I can't sell them. Or it really comes down when I can't sell it. It's just, it's not, yeah, like, I might get in trouble with licensing or whatever, but I just want it for myself. So I can try it at least at one test and then just the shirt because, man, I've wanted that shirt for a while.

And then, like, yeah, I'll say, oh, shit, longer. So 2018 was when I was like, I almost pulled the triggers. But I just can't, man. Like, it probably, it's one of those things that I kind of regret nuking my Twitter, you know? It's one of those things. Okay. Or, I, I, you, you should have thought about that before you, you, you don the moniker

of the fucking president and did that, right? Like, look, man, look. It was really funny. Look. It was really funny. It confused me because I thought I muted Trump. That's why I was confused. And I was like, I muted Trump.

What is your? doing on my time line. Also, why is Trump talking like a nigger? Like, why is he really being a nigger? Like, he has niggish tendencies, but like, this guy is, this is a little different. You know? Yeah, that was,

I was actually of the amount of people that were at first, like, tricked to the point, like, wait, what the fuck's happening? That was pretty sweet. But the only thing that I just, I just regret some of the contacts that I had. That's what, that's the only thing,

like, there's a lot of people like holy shit you lost so many followers but the ones that I really interacted with, they're already back which is so like I gained most of my subscribers at a time that I think most of them were political

heads anyway and they weren't even fucking with me anymore because all I've been doing for the past like two to three years is just posting memes because like I don't give a shit about you know the dunking, you know how people are always trying to dunk on people, though quote tweet somebody I fucking I stopped giving the shit

about that in 2017. Like, I was just like, I had a fun for like a year or two, probably around 2018, I was completely done. And so all those people that are looking for political commentary, they're not going to get it. So I don't think they don't have any reason to fucking follow

me. Yeah, political commentary is so 2015, 2016, dude. If I see something crazy, I'm a state of, like, when I found out about those anti-gay laws, I couldn't, I couldn't not say something about that. Sure. That was wild. There's always the exception. Right? There's always the exception.

I don't know that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Talking about politics, it's like talking about your dick. Like, eventually, you know, you get it, you know. So we get it. You get it. You get it. You know. It's it to me. We get it what's going on. But also, welcome to the Dark Tank, episode five or six. I'm not sure.

Episode five of the Dark Tanker. Okay, so Derek, first before we go into it, we got merch. We got a merch store. All right. So Snart Tank. We do. So Snart Tank is merch. I think.

I forgot what it is. We don't have the PDF right now. Can you look that up real quick? I think it's Snark Tank Merge. I think it's Snark Tank Merge. I'm going to look it up right now. I think it's Snark Tankmerge.com. Let me just, let me verify that.

I love how prepared we are. Yeah, super prepared. Chris is the preparation. We're just the fire, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's his fucking show. He's the, he's the guy. So Snark Tank is a model.

is a moniker that he created so it's like all right you can gather all this if if he assigned things to do I would do it but I think while I'm not assigned shit I ain't doing shit but I feel me? Exactly and I think he's also like I don't trust

these niggas so he says it out loud to us I don't trust y'all niggas I don't Yeah he said it you guys have no idea How much he says the NWords He does not say it very often He does not He won't stop He does not say that I live with him.

Don't put that on him for no reason. Come on, man. People are going to use that. I know he's your boy and you're protecting him, but we can be real for a second. People are going to use that against him, and he's going to have. He's already become relatively immune to it because of his constant association with black people. So he's become relatively immune. He's also Puerto Rican.

And they say nigger. They say back east, if you tell a Puerto Rican person not to say nigger, they'll try to fight you. They're confused. They're confused by that shit. They're like, what do you mean? Like, why would you? Like, it's not a thing that computes to them. How dare you?

How dare you tell me to say that, nigga? I'm just like, you got to understand. You got to understand what that word means. And you may be darker than most people, but you're not quite dark enough. You know how I learned that out, dude? You know how I learned that? Through, because I had no exposure to New York as a kid. But Fat Joe was the, that was the, that was the thing that made my brain, like, I don't understand.

I have to Google why Fat Joe is saying. nigger like five million times and no one's saying anything. You can't tell fat Joe he's not a black person. He'll tell you he's a black person, even though he's not a black person. He'll be like, yo, you can't tell me I'm not black. But that's because it's a culture exchange because California, in California particularly, even in New York, it's sort of like that, but not to the same degree. But in California, California is diverse but segregated.

Separated. It's diverse but separated. That's very California. Yeah. It's very, you can come here and you'll see people of all sorts of amazing groups, but then at the end of the day,

they'll all separate back to the groups opposed to New York. Everyone lives on top of everybody in every sort of situation. So you go to a park and you see little black, brown, white, Hispanic, Asian kids all playing together

and they all go to school together throughout their whole entire life so they all grow up in the same group living, same experience, everybody else, you know? So to them, the Brian that's Asian You can't tell him he's not a nigger

Like like Derek who's black You know you can't you can't He won't see the difference And you can't tell him the difference Because he lived the exact same experience As other kid did Maybe not he may not seem the same Like persecution

Or like immediate prejudice As another black person in the world But like he's lived that life With his black His black best friend you know Like he's been there side by side with him So you can't So telling him not to say niggum

You know, he probably shouldn't say it, but at the same time, you know, he might have earned it more than some black people who say it. You feel me? Yeah, it's a hazy argument. That's a good point. And I don't always agree with it. I don't always agree with it. But at the same time, I do understand where that argument takes root from. That's what I see immediately.

Particularly when it's a white person that's like, let's say like Swedish or some shit calls me nigger. I'm going to be like, I'm, aren't you from like Denmark or my guy? Like, the fuck you're using that word for? Your population of black people is like seven in the country. What do you do? Seven. Yeah. Yo, dude, it was kind of weird when I was in, uh, um, I was in, I was in Norway, uh, in 2019 for a little while.

And I was actually kind of surprised at how many black folk I saw. Really? I was, yeah. That was crazy. Like, I was in, like, I was in. was fucking, I was like, wow, you know, and the thing is, everything was chill, though. It's not like, say, there would be, like, a lot of people saying, oh, there's, uh, uh, immigrants coming in and they're fucking over a country.

You know how, you know how fucking, you know, those people are. But, like, everyone's just chilling. It looked like a lot of Ethiopians to me. Like, because, you know, when you see kind of, like, the mix of the North African and, like, and, like, sub-Saharan, as they say, uh, kind of that mixture, like Ethiopia. I was just like, I think that a lot of them just came over here. And everybody's just chilling, but I was like, like, I was like, I was. would go out and I would see I was like dude this is crazy like this is I wasn't expecting that I was

expecting just like white people as tall as trees course and then fucking just like I don't know just looking down because they're so fucking tall and but it was like it was kind of a it was somewhat of a mixture and man dude I'm telling me the air was so fucking clean the clean I miss I miss upstate New York's clean air bro success starts with your drive and American public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills

and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at apu.apus.edu.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch, with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen.

So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. That shit was like biting into an apple, but breathing. Chris, a nice crunch when you inhale, you know, like ice. Dude, clean air, clean air and clean water, it's such a, it's so, like, I've been in L.A. for so long that, like, I think, I think it's physically making me sick. I think just breathing, disgusting, just gross and trash everywhere. Like, my street looks clean, but the street you take Western to get to my street is fucked. It looks like an earthquake plus a fucking

like an avalanche of trash. It looks like everything you could possibly say like negative is on that street. It's fucking, it's a terrible street. So the point where I've had two friends visit and they said the same thing. They're like, wow, dude, your street looks so fucking nice because they were on Western first. Western's a fucking dumpster. The only thing that's not missing is that it's it's not on fire. That's the only thing. Everything else is wrong with it. When I lived in New York City, dude, when I was like seven, there was this mid-Avino.

If I'm mistaken, remember correctly, I lived on 169th Street in the Grand Concourse, and I would go down three blocks to Grant's Avenue, and you would cut straight down, heading east to go to where all the food places were. And I remember there was a street just shit all over this, like shit all the way down, the street like every dog's shot on that street and it was the shit every fucking step to the point that it was a game that

we would try to run down there and not step in shit and we would always lose someone would step in shit and I was just like when I look back I was like that was a real place what the fuck is inner cities are terrible look if you don't got to raise a kid in the city

you don't always kid inner city I'm being very serious if you don't have to raise a child in the inner city Chris loves New York. I love where I'm from. I love the culture in New York. I love all of the food and the music and all that shit. But if you don't got to raise a kid there, do not do it.

There's so many better places that are more affordable. You can just raise a kid and have him not experience shit up a whole street. Yeah. And not not breathe it in and not like mutate your genes to where you're going to like actually turn into a piece of shit. Exactly. You're going to be kind of shit by fucking exposure, bro. I want to be like that. And he's going to become a piece of shit.

Trust me. That's what I'm talking about, man. So, have you heard the rumor? I just saw this, and I don't actually see any proof, but allegedly there was a video circulating around, of Alex Jones being in a Findum video, a financial domination video. Like, that, I first saw it because I went on Twitter,

and there was a couple of people talking about it. Was it shoe on head and this one chick? And then I saw Smokey was on it. It was, oh, I saw it because of, it was like, e-girls posting their L's. That's what it was. That Twitter account. And then it was a screenshot of them talking about it.

And then I looked, I saw them talking about it on Reddit and a couple of news outlets, but I don't see a video. And I want, I need, if there's a video of Alex Jones, doing anything like that, I need to see it. Guys, if you guys got this video, please send it our way. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed at the same time, but like, it's Alex, it's Alex, you know. Like, he's never been a poster boy of mental stability, you know?

Oh, yeah. He really thinks that they're putting chemicals in the water to turn frogs gay. Like that's been, he argued that in front of people, you know. That's some shit he said in his house with his honest boys. And his boys were like, shut the fuck up, Alex. You're being stupid. He said a lot of cool shit like that. You know, like, you know what I love?

What's up? I love that his son is named Rex. Like, doesn't that just like makes perfect sense for Alex Jones? He named his son after a dinosaur, bro. What the fuck? What the fuck is that, dude? Exactly. That's amazing.

A dino, it's a dinosaur, bro. And then his daughter, is a velociraptor. Velociraptor. What is the, what is the dinosaur that beats the Tyrannosaurus wrecks in the third movie? I think it's the Spinosaurus. I don't know, I didn't see the third one. I didn't see the third one. You didn't see Drex Park 3?

No, dude, after they were just like, oh, they're the fucking, they're getting smarter. So I was like, I get the fuck out of here. I just, I saw the trailer and I was like, I'm good. Oh, you're a fucking her, bro. Come on. What are you talking about, man? Dude, the second one was like pushing it. Oh, fuck it.

Here's fucking, uh, the T-Rex is going ham in San Diego or whatever. I'm like, all right, dude. Like, I, look it. I enjoyed it for what it was. But as a kid, I was like, even I have limits. And I was just like, all right, dude, this is pretty cool. I love dinosaurs. You're, this is getting ridiculous.

The army could just shoot a fucking missile at this thing and then it's done. You know, like, what are we doing here? What do we? My, my suspension of this. belief is having a hard time. You know, the Sponitor's was real. Yeah. Holy shit.

I didn't know who was a real dinosaur. I thought it was like a dinosaur for a movie, like a creation. That's a real thing. I fucking scared me. But yeah, dude, come on. It's about disliking. You didn't like dinosaurs? You didn't like dinosaurs going on?

No, I love fucking dinosaurs, dude. What are you talking about? You got to see the movie then, bro. Next time you come over to our place, we'll get some pizza. Oh, God. We'll sit down. We'll watch it. Come on.

Come on, bro. There's way better movies to watch. Bro, come on. It's not a, look, you don't watch movie. Look, when you're with your boys, and you know this, Derek. When you're with your boys, you watch movies to just chill and laugh at and make jokes. You don't watch movies. They'll be like, this is an exquisite film.

No, no, I agree. I agree. It's worth it. You trust, man. I think it's a good one. I don't know, man. Maybe. Like, how does Jurassic Park 3 hold up to the new ones?

because I thought the new ones were fucking whatever. I never saw the second new one because the day my girlfriend saw it, she was like, I wasn't feeling while I was working at some shit when I worked at Starbucks. Fuck that place. But it was when I worked at Starbucks. And like I was like, oh, I can't make it. She saw it. And she was like, the little girl let the dinosaurs out.

And now there's dinosaurs all over the world. And I'm like, so that bitch just ruined society pretty much. She just ruined modern society. But how did that happen? How did like a girl, like, like, they made a, they made a rafter that was part human or some shit, and it could communicate with this girl. I already hate it. That already sounds stupid as fuck to me. Yeah.

Like, I would rather see a live action land before time before that shit. I would too. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I'd watch a live action. I put too much time into land before time to ever jump off that bandwagon, you know? Like, I can't jump off it now. I've been like, land before time, 12 was coming up.

I'm like, that's crazy. And I'm buying my ticket to see it. I'm going to go see it. Yeah, I don't remember if we talked about this, but the land before time, the song, because I feel like we had like a song, like maybe we've talked about or had a question about like emotional triggers or some shit like that. I know what song it is. Dude, the song that Diana Ross song, if we hold on together, fucks me up. Every time I, it's like, it's like Pavlovian or Pavlovian.

I can't hear it. That shit, it, I can't, like, I start to my eyes, my, my, my eyes start to well up. And I'm like, I can't hear this shit. And then it just makes me think of like the sad shit land before time, like fucking Littlefoot's mom, getting her ass fucking tore up, dude. Like I like to do to some ass, you know what I'm saying? In the same, like she just fucking just tore her to pieces. That's so fucked. Because imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine.

You start quarrely and eating ass with the fact that Littlefoot's mom got gets killed. So every time you start eating ass, you start crying. You start crying. You start crying. And your lady's like, why are you crying back there? And you're like, I can't do this anymore. Littlefoot's mom. And she's like, what?

She's like, what? Littlefoot's mom. You didn't watch Land Before Time. You fucking heathen? She's like, That's fucking amazing. For me, the thing that makes me cry every time I can't help it is every time I see the fox and a hound, I cry. I can't.

I've never been able to sit through that movie without crying. To the point that, like, I went, like, I'm pretty sure I went like five years without crying. I'm like a long time without shitting a single tear. And then I stayed away from that movie because it made me cry. Like the last time I watched that movie before, like maybe like a year and a half ago, was when I was like 12 and at the end, you know when Todd and Copper both die

and they have their little kid voices? I don't remember that. That's fucked up. I probably blocked out of my memory. They had the little kid voice. And they were talking and I was like, this is, I'm sad. I'm really sad and I'd break down. I'm like, I can't,

I can't watch this ever again. That's so fuck that shit. It's a good fucking movie dude, but damn. It's just right in the fucking, they're just, They want to be friends Even though the world

Tell them their enemies, bro That's deep, man Yeah, I mean, I get I get that man There's, there's a There's a few things like that too Where it's not Well, I actually have

I have a moment where it's not Sad, it's just so uplifting And it like It fucks me up because of Uh, Han Zimmer's my boy, dude That dude makes the best fucking scores In my opinion And uh,

Gladiator Gladiar is just like a great fucking movie Because it's well written Really Scott's a fucking pimp And anyway There's a moment where the gladiators Are supposed to be slaughtered You know like when they're actually in the Coliseum

And then because of Maximus's like Superior fucking leadership They survive and beat the fucking The chariots and shit So everyone's all like So everyone's all like kind of like Oh that what a weird turn of events And like the music that's selected

And then the gladiators cheering with like that dude from Amistad and he's also in a fucking he's the guy that goes who when Starlord's like oh I'm fucking Starlord nigga and then you know what I'm talking about that dark black dude and he's like

who that fucking guy he's in a what what what what okay okay so that

so that particular dude right this is the story that dates all the way back to like me living like 16 years old and seven between 16 and 19 dude every time me and my friend saw him we would always send each other fucking bananas because he reminded us of a fucking monkey when he would speak because he was so African that he sounded monkey s to us that's so racist coming from two black men it was me and my best friend Two black people. Every time we'd see.

He was in freaking, he was, he was, Oh my God. He was in, he was in one of the Fats and Furious movies. And he was like, this got me. And me and my friend would send

each other that and then bananas behind it. Every time. Dude, until, until. Literally like a month or two ago, he sent me that. And I was just like, damn, bro.

You still remember that? Dude, that's, I, I need, I need that dude to be aware of that. I don't want to be aware that. That's just kids being ignorant. That's just ignorant little kids. Can you guys even, can you even say kids? Because, like, you're still sending that shit. You're still a kid.

I think until you're like 20, you're not. like 22, 23, you're still definitely a kid. Technically, to the earth, you still have a lot to go. I just got out of the kid phase into being. Like, also for us, it's different. Like, we're not, like, I'm 20, I'm 26. I'm 27 in two months, right? But I'm not 27, like, my dad or my mom was 27.

Oh, hell. Like how, like, I'm thinking, like, we're going to be like a young, like young mentality people until our 30s dude mid 30s definitely dude I'm in my 30s maybe late 30s maybe late 30s I'm giving it to like 35 35 because I think that's when like

I think that's when it's like oh I think by at the time I'm 35 or or maybe even before I mean after I mean it's like okay marriage and and talk of kids and shit you know what I'm saying but like before then like dude I still and I don't think this is ever I imagine I'm going to be fucking 80 something years old and

And I'm going to see the letter 69 and I'm still going to smirk because me as a grown ass man that sees six. There's a fucking trash can I pass by on trash day down the street and it has 69 spray painted on it and I fucking smirk. There's, I'm like, uh, like I can't help it. I remember doing that in sixth grade. Dude, that's crazy. The teacher in social studies turned the page 69 and me and my friend Josh laughing.

Dude. It's the same thing. I think it's going to be the same for, like, I think I'm always going to be a clown, dude. Like, I just can't help it. Like, I just, I don't know. Like, I think if I ever stop being a clown, I would, one, I'd lose my girlfriend because I can't hold on to any other reason. I don't got anything else that's going to keep her around, you know. And then, and then, too, like, I don't know.

I just, that's what I've, I've been making jokes and laughing about shit and, like, being a nerd my whole life. Like, I can't, I don't ever see. Well, being a nerd now is accepted, it would be a nerd as an adult. So that's, like, fine now. But, like, being a jokester is something I'm always going to be. Like, if I, even when I become, like, even when I decide to leave the whole social media sphere, which is going to be, like, maybe in, like, five or six years, whenever I'm just like, you know what, I got to focus on being, like, a nurse and, like, doing my shit.

Like, I'm still going to be clown in the fucking hospital. Like, people fucking got to come with gunshot wounds and I'll be like, oh, wild, he missed your head, huh? Like, saying fuck shit like that. Like, they get their dick stuck in something. I'm like, yo, dude, you're fucking. nuts. Like I can't tell them when they have like some fuck like

just like that like it's not even that big of a deal but you tell them you have fucking three hours to live like 16 minutes to live man. Throw them a playboy and walk out. You're going to have a good one. Want me to make some calls for you or you got this? You got this? Right cool.

You got it. Yeah, it'll be crazy. You'll probably last you'd last at that hospital for like a week. Yeah. Yeah. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's. It's your happy place. Yeah, you make sure you get you make sure you line yourself up with another hospital at least Three four man having like a whole like a whole system hospitals and lily's gonna be like you got fired again It's like yeah I made I made I made a I made a I made a nigger joke and they were like they really weren't cool with it So I got fired it's cool but I got another one lined up don't worry and she's like okay As long as you got one lined up Yeah that'll be I mean that's smart that's just smart thing to do always fall back fall back

as many times as you can. Obviously, you always got to have a backup plan. Yeah, like, say, my backup plan would definitely be robbing niggas. You could rob, you start robbing? You think you could turn it to that person? Yeah, let me. I, no.

I was given an opportunity to turn into that person, and I was like, I can't do this. I can't do this. I was like, I don't want to rob people. Because I don't want people robbing me, and they were like, you pussy. I'm like, I guess I'm pussy. I guess.

I guess, because I, I can't. do that. I can rob stores. I can't rob. I can rob corporations. Like, you know what I mean? Like, say, big money where I know that their insurance is going to cover them no matter what. All they got to do on the P&L, they're going to make, oh, this is a loss, this is a loss, and they'll be covered. So that's why, like, say, big jobs when I worked at, like, New Egg, because fuck New Egg. But I used to work for them. and so I didn't steal a lot from them but I got like I felt like I got what was

you know like say bonus like oh you guys owe me some money so I would take like little things like flash drives and nothing's huge because there was like I knew a homie that was like just stealing oh I'm gonna take the Galaxy Note 2 I'm gonna take that and he got fired all quick

but like he was taking big shit he was indulging he's like I'm gonna take this $600 phone I'm gonna take I was just like I was like dude what do you don't even why are you telling me this shit like I don't even want to know involve me yeah yeah dude this is what happened when I worked at Amazon same deal I worked at Amazon I think I can't remember this was in yeah this was in 2008 in 2008 like I they were working us to death

and the pay was at for 2008 was kind of good it was like 1175 and so like I was like okay I'm making good money but I still feel like I'm being I'm being worked to the point where I feel like I'm going to die and I was like like I need more compensation. They're not going to give it. So I'm going to take some. I had a PS3 at the time. So I just took a library of PlayStation 3 games.

I'm just like, oh, this game isn't out for the next two weeks. Dude, I was number one in America for like clearing Resident Evil 5 because it wasn't out in America yet. So you fucking finished. So you were playing mercenaries way before everybody else playing mercenaries. That's so. Fucked off. And then when it came out, I'm talking days later, I shot all the way down because then the real God started playing. But it was fucking hilarious, dude.

I played all these dope-ass games. But I felt like, I was like, man, fuck. And I don't feel bad because I'm just like, this shit's just sitting in a fucking warehouse that looks like a library that stretches for like a quarter mile or something. That's insane. So I just had some fun. That's crazy. But like I can't like, I can't steal from like, obviously I'd never still from a mom or pop. I would never still like something that would actually affect the people that own it.

Like I know these people. These are real people. They're not fucking the Jeff Bezos that are going to be able to not pay taxes and also cover all their losses. Like, fuck them. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. I couldn't rob a bodega because like I pretty much grew up in a bodega. Like I couldn't. Like I couldn't.

I just can't do stuff like that. But like I could like, in theory, I could rob the government. In theory Like they fucking rob us Why the fuck not? Like our taxes are coming up right now You know like in theory If I could

I would But I can't and I won't Like I There's ways around it If you want to Do the hassle of it And that's what it comes down to So I used to follow

Somebody who used to work for Goldman Sachs Her name's Nomi Prince And for a while I wanted to like I wanted to bang her so bad Because She's pretty attractive

But like not like insane But it's just her knowledge And like her power Of like she's a powerful woman Working to gold I was like dude I need to have sex with this woman But like

You know That's that stopped That was like That was like In 2010 I was like Lusting after this girl But uh

She's like I know how you can not pay taxes But that's fucking That it's not worth the hassle That's what it usually comes down to Like she has the wherewithal and the knowledge you can buy some over books if you wanted to but like why it's just easier to just get the government off your back give them some fucking money yeah it sucks now this is

the first time ever i'm gonna have to probably pay taxes ever because i've never had to do that oh yeah instead of i've never had to do it before so it really sucks like so i'm really not happy about the fact that i have to pay the government money but at the same time it's like this is how to this how cookie crumbles you know this is what happens i hate it man goes on I hate it so much. I'm not, I'm going to be honest, people, people that are wanting to be self-employed and make your own money, fucking get yourself prepared before you really dive into it because I delve headfirst into it, unprepared, and I'm still at the point where I'm barely kind of getting a hang of this shit.

Because the thing I'm still not doing correctly, even though I've advised other people to do it, is to make sure you have all of your finances. fucking jotted down. There's apps that'll do it for you. Every purchase you make, it'll keep track of all your shit. And then I still'm like, fuck,

I can't believe I haven't done that shit yet. So then I have to use my fucking brain power to remember all this shit and then be like, okay, everything looks good, I shouldn't get audited, you know? And me, it's always like,

everything looks good, I shouldn't get audited, but it's not a, there's no way I'm getting audited. I don't have that type of security. For me, for me, every dime I spend, all the money I've gotten is via apps like it's via my chase or my credit card or like on Nintendo it emails me like all this stuff because like since I stream now luckily that's all right

off so my computer is a write off thank God my computers right off my PS5 is a write off my switch games are write-offs my um all of this shit I've bought on steam that's all stuff that can be written off luckily so I will most likely not have to pay more than like I of $102. Like, most likely. You'll see. But like I'm going to, like, I'm making sure, like, right now I'm going through

all my donations on Twitch and I'm pretty sure I have to, you have to tax, those are taxable too. If I'm not mistaken. If it's, well, if it's a certain amount of money, I'm not sure. That's where it becomes a little bit, that's where it becomes a little bit different. Like, say donations, there is a, that's what you have to look into it. And that's where I would advise asking somebody about that, like, at, tax person to be like how much do I have to if it gets past a certain threshold do then

when I have to report it. And that's the I forgot. I used to know. I don't remember anymore. Yeah. So I'm going to do. I'm going to tell it all up. I'm going to go to my girlfriend's dad.

He knows a ton about fucking everything that exists. He's just a wealth of knowledge. He's one of those people. So I'm just going to go to him. I'm going to figure this out because I'm not trying to go to jail. I'm really not trying to go to jail for just trying to make a living. That is the worst way to go to jail legally too, like a legal living. And you're just like, oh, man, sorry.

We got to put you behind bars. I would say the odds of like the amount of money we make, the odds of us going to jail is, it's almost zero because they check for the growth. Like if you go from like, let's say where I went from before to now, that's a noticeable jump in like payment. Like I get paid a decent amount more than I did before. like a decent amount. Yeah. So they might notice that. They,

look, I'm telling you, man, the, you have to, the only thing they'll, like, this is what they'll do.

This is what the, this is what the most that they'll probably ever get to you is if you don't pay, they'll just garnish your wages, waneish, wow, fucking,

they'll garnish your wages. That's probably the worst, because it's not a, like, Wesley Snipes type of you know what I'm saying like you need to get on that level towards like you owe way too much money and you there's no way you can pay this back you're going to fucking jail like it's it's basically like that imagine imagine that feeling of dread of just dread in your heart you're like yo how much do you owe the freaking IRS oh

four million dollars I just be like I'm leaving the country I would just leave the country I'm like I'm out of here that's it at a certain point right you You would just fuck off, right? It's not worth staying here anymore because they owe them so much. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I just want to get to a point where we can just like, like we were talking about,

we're joking about like, say, striking a Spotify deal with this podcast or whatever. That'd be so crazy, dude. I mean, look, it's, it's not out of the realm of possibility if we see large amounts of growth. But the thing is there's also the whole grinding aspect where, like, let's be real, man, the fucking, do we don't, we don't do anything to really, like, promote this fucking thing. We're kind of just, like, doing it because we love to do it. You know what I mean? But, like, there's- We could, we could do more promotion.

We could get more names that we know to show up on here. And, like, you know, like, we could start, we can start hype chasing, you know, like trend chasing. Yeah. We could do that. And, I mean, we're definitely all we're definitely looking toward expansion like that's what we're doing

on the podcast yeah yeah for sure making things get bigger and better you know us having a little more change in our pockets us also being able to give our fans more just better better experiences you know like all I think all it would take for any of us to do and like if I went to one con

if we all went to one con that we would blow up that'd be an explosion of our experts like our places Because of our personalities. Yeah, absolutely. We'd be in the main with people. We'd find all these things, you know, and it would just be great for all of us.

But, like, we're not doing that right now because we understand, like, you know, like, there's no point of getting big in having to funnel what you do until it's, it's a definite positive way it's going to happen. You know, like, I don't want us to be like we can't talk about certain things or we can't do certain things. Like, once we see that check, that's like, hey, keep in line if you want to be able to pay off your house type money. I'd be like, yeah, you know what? The N word, I don't say that no more. That's not me.

That's not me no more. I can't say that. That's not lucrative. Fuck. Bro, okay, look at man. I always, my favorite podcast is called your mom's house. And it's Tom Seguro and his wife, Christina P. And the shit that they show and do on their podcast and the level of, you know,

advertisement and stuff they get. is they got top of the line type stuff. And I'm just like, yo, I know we don't have to, we don't have to censor ourselves. We don't. That we don't have to do it. I've seen these motherfuckers. And I'm just like, the shit that they do is fucking, I'm telling you, man, like, we don't have to step on our toes. Now, look it.

Look at it. I know what you're saying. If there was like, I'm going to give you the stupidest amount of money and just cut the inward out, then I understand. But it has to be like dumb money, like you said. Like you're kind of saying mortgage shit. Derek, Derek, what is, what is my slogan? What is the slogan everybody knows me for? I'm Tim Swanee and I heat the geese.

Now look, look, all right? If anyone follows me anywhere or knows me anywhere, they know that that's not my, that was a joke. That was an out of context clip, you know? but base appearance someone looks up Tom Sweeney well they might get my Twitter now because my Twitter's grown a lot but like they might get my Twitter and be like oh my Twitter is that and now they'll see me like most likely talking about D&D

or making fun of some sort of some sort of person that can't get laid or like making fun of anime or something like that but for a little bit I was not the best person I have on a podcast simply because of that you know now imagine people looking at us and being like, uh, we got this kid, you got this, this, this, this frail white Hispanic kid that's either a Nazi or a socialist. We got this giant black guy that hates the gays.

And we got this other black man that pretending to be Donald Trump and threatened. Oh, yeah, they're in the don't strike fucking jack. You know, like, I get it. I get it. I think it's hilarious. And I think that gives us personality. but at the same time if they wanted some, they wanted some change in a way

we don't want to change our flow up, you know, go from lyrical rappers to mumble rap, then I wouldn't be surprised. If there was like, hey, Mr. Sweeney, you know, fix that, change the hairstyle, you know, get some bleach on the skin, make it a little more fair and all you got some money. Get some bleach on the skin.

I'm like, what? I can't be this color. They're like, nah, man, sorry. That's not marketable. Yeah, the day. The statistics and data shows that light skin pays the bills. I'm like, well. And so.

You're sure I got to change? Yeah, you do. Right, ASAP. Ross, that contract is null and void. That'd be crazy. They make you like fucking Sammy Sosa and shit. Damn, bro. Have you seen that fucking dude?

Have you seen that dude? He's fucking white now, man. He's, he just scrubbed his fucking, he scrubbed all the black out of him. It's so fucked up. The fact. The fact. that he was so ashamed of being dark-skinned. The fact that he was so ashamed of being referred to as a black Hispanic,

an Afro-Latino that he changed his skin color is wild to me, dude. Imagine being that ashamed. That's so crazy. Like what? Like, I'm pretty dark, and I'm very okay. I think I have nice skin. But this man, this man fucking polymorphed. This man is different.

This man used alter self. Like, God, shit. So crazy. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh,

or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say.

And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there. listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. I can't.

What? Oh. Boom. Damn it. Damn it. What are you fatherless loony tunes up to? Damn. You're right.

I don't got to die. Wow. That's actually true. I'm dead. Oh, I'm Chris. That's just spot on, bro. I'm mostly Hispanic. I have my father.

Look at me. Look who is the join us to today I forgot to mention that Actually the whole time Look it was Look he was at the Derek Look who has decided to

I show up on Derek and Chris call me a weeb all the time You're a weeb Kingston You're a webe This Derek you You Derek you look like a character

From One Piece right now You look like What's that? What is a wonderful peace. Yeah, what's that? You need to calm down. What the, is that is disrespectful?

What are you wearing? What's happening? What is happening? You got a broken katana? Whoa! That's kind of lit! That's kind of fire! You must die.

Damn, bro. I have a wooden one at my house, but I don't have a... That's an extender one. That's so cool. God damn. I got about a fucking L.A. Comic Conno years ago. Amazon's popping up right now.

Jesus Christ. do it do it yeah so what are you guys uh what are you guys talking about we're talking about our dicks oh no I don't remember what the hell we're actually oh oh we were talking about fucking uh selling out oh yeah like uh yeah like say if um if we're if we're offered like a ridiculous amount of money for the podcast like would we like not say the inward anymore uh

and then lighten up sweeney skin you know like do all the things that the be all the things that corporate America would probably want us to maximize our profit. You'd best believe it. Would you, would you, would you just completely alter yourself to being like as wide as possible? Listen, you'd be, I could, listen, here's the thing. I could be, I could sit here and say that like, no, man, I'm not going to be corrupted. I want to make what I want to make. But everybody's got a price. Everyone has a price. It's anybody who says they don't got a price, they're lying to you. They just haven't heard a good price yet. Yeah. Everyone's got a price.

You know how Microsoft bought Bethesda? Bethesda? Bethesda wasn't for sale. Like, they weren't like... Yeah, we're in trouble. We need to sell our shit. They're just like, hey, here's a shit-fuck ton of money. Microsoft just came to them with $7 billion,

and the dude who is receiving $7 billion is like, you know what? I could use $7 billion. That's literally what George Lucas did. Yeah. Dude, that's crazy. I'm never selling, I'm never selling Star Wars. He said that.

He said that. How's four billion? Oh, here you go. And then they're like, yeah, 100%. And then four billion dollars later. And then he was like, oh, by the way, I still have some ideas. And they just laughed at him. They're like, get the fuck out of your, get go.

They shooted him out. They scooted him out of his office. Like, they literally like pushed him out and locked the door. Sorry, we're going to have a female main character, George. And he's like, what they mean? man, carry, he's always a female. Get out. Get out. Look, here's the thing, right? I don't know. Like, at a certain point, I don't agree with that, like, the idea that, like, oh, you can buy something and then you just, like, oh, just completely forego all the, like, I don't think that's

the right thing to do. But if you pay $4 billion to somebody, you have the right to kick them out, I think. Like, you have the right to do whatever the hell. At that point, it's like, I'm not going to come. If somebody came to me and, like, offered me, like, a fucking, if somebody, if somebody offered me like $70 million for my channel I'd be like yo take it I'm like yo go ahead yo have a fucking

yeah absolutely yeah fucking are you kidding if someone do you know how much more yeah you know how much more I could do with 70 million like I'll just make a new channel and it'll be exactly immediately it'll be like better yeah you have a crew that you can hire to like

for lighting and fucking sound and shit just just your shit is just stupid now it's just stupid good that's like John Tron shit yeah the only thing it's like I like how John Tron is like $70 million, like tear in our head. But like, I don't know, man. Like I just think at that price, man, everybody's got a price, man. Everyone's that price. We're just waiting for the fucking dude with the suit.

There's one thing. There's one thing I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I don't have a price on. I couldn't be an Uncle Tom. I couldn't do that. Like I would, because if I tried it, the moment that I would snap back to myself and I look in the mirror, I would end up killing myself. But like, I could. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that. But like if someone said Kingston, like, you got to go to the right.

Here's $25 million. I'd be like, well, honestly, the days where women were, you know, back home not working. And we had the church in our schools, the country was way more lawful. In a minute, I'd be pro-war. I'd be pro-fucking pro-life. I would flip my whole flow up, bro. Yeah, I actually. I start talking like that Asian.

guy that Asian I actually I can actually I can actually say that I wouldn't because I've been I've been faced with that choice before because like way way way long ago and I think

I think Shue and I talked about this a little bit like when we were on the snark tank when we did the episode together but like back in like 2017 like maybe like early 2017 late 2016 there were a lot of like people who were like offering money

for conservative commentators and they were like hey, you know, like, we got this, like, really big check for you, if you, uh, it wasn't like as cartoonish as that. It wasn't like, oh, you know, here's money and in exchange, you're going to change your opinion or anything. It's more like, uh, they kind of thought they had you pegged for what you were. And then they were just sort of like, hey, here's a bunch of money. If you keep doing whatever it is, you think you're doing. Um, and I remember being like, ah, no, I don't want, like, I think I could do it. That's, that's okay. I absolutely know you're talking about like 100% yeah and you can tell by the way the people who did take that money

like it's it's it's yes you can tell it's certain gentlemen that we're not going to bring up but we definitely know who it is if i were if i was driven by money i would i would have been fucking i would have already been on every all the podcast you would have been for sure black man i would have fucking i would have blown enough i for sure would be what i would be a millionaire like unequivocally that that's being up the vacuum of a black conservative is It's always, it's never filled. You can always get more. And, I mean, Jesus, man, like, we all, all you have to do is just say Candace Owens.

Yeah. That's all you had to say. You could have been, you could have been the male Candace Owens if you want. I could have. I hate Candice Owens so much. Oh, God, I hate her so much. Of course you do. Of course you do, because you're not a piece of shit.

You know what? That's just what it comes down to. I don't mean to like, look, man, I don't mean to be a hipser or anything. But we hated her first. We did. Back when social autopsy was happening, we called it out and it was the fucking and everybody was giving a shit about it.

Chris, dude, I have to say this. When she rose back up after social autopsy and we were shitting on her, I went on your video and like, because I didn't, I forgot that I watched it. Yeah. Like I went on it and I saw there was a like on it.

I liked the fucking video. So I saw it when you made it all them years ago, like a year ago before that. like, holy shit, like, Chris is like the OG-O-G of like shitting on her. Like, this bitch, she sucks. I can't take full credit. I think there was one other video talking about it where I even learned about it from.

But like definitely like we were like of like of like of the people who were hitting on Kansas. 2014, right? No, 2015. Uh, 26. Something like that. I think it was 15. I think it was 15 because I was still using my fucking icon, my logo. This is how old this is, by the way.

Like I was using a JPEG of like. an animated cut out of my face instead of my actual human form because I didn't have a camera to use. So this is like ancient stuff by today's standards. It's 2021. It's like six years ago. This is old school. And I remember that being a huge deal being like, why are you bullying this person? What are you doing?

And a lot of people did agree with us. Obviously, like she was easily hateable. And that was such an easily hateable premise. But I remember some key people who were like, why are you being mean? to this woman why are you being mean to this woman and it ironically enough the same people who were like giving me shit about that are probably the same people who hate kandis owens now so oh yeah well yeah should have uh should have had some foresight there but you know my girlfriend hates kansas on so much bro it's crazy my girlfriend i don't know anybody my this girlfriend

despises her dog she hates her more than i probably hate her and that doesn't make any sense makes no goddamn sense she's like i hate her i don't like like i don't like Like, dude, it's so, she, it's, it's, it's because of how transparent she is, of how, like, like, how fake she is. I think that's what it, because it's more than, it's, there's some people that you're just like, oh, this is a, this is a stick. This is something you're doing to make money. You're like, all right, whatever.

Fuck you. But, like, just the transparency of, like, checking off the list of this is what I need to say. It's, that's what I think that's so maddening. And we had, like, streams that are still up. And we covered some of the. stuff that she was saying in defense of her, her, like, of some of her bullshit. And it was so upsetting. At one point, she said that Richard Spencer was paid opposition, like, paid by George Soros.

Like, he's a fucking, and it's kind of funny that, though, because at a certain point, Richard Spencer said, did say he was going to vote Democratic or something. He was going to vote Democrat, which I thought was kind of hilarious. But it was for specific reasons. That's a story for another day. But, like, she was saying all the way. back then that number one we're all like a bunch of trolls and just

bottom feeders. We're all nothing and then everybody else is just paid shills by Soros and stuff. She was legitimately saying this because it's in our streams and we're all making fun of it. And I remember doing like a bit of like George Solis calling me and making sure everybody got their checks and said like oh you pay.

Like because it was so fucking absurd. And I'm just looking at this rise and I'm like wow, that's that could have been me. I could have done that. I could have done that. I could be making millions of dollars and just not believing a word that I'm saying, but I'm just saying it. I couldn't do that. I think I could do it right now, but at the same time, like, I don't know. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people. who never stop. You bring the fire. APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU.org One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there

Listening That was the first time I learned that quiet Can feel full Hershey's It's your happy place I could do it I care so much about my character Like I care so much about like my character

And like the imprint I live on the planet That like Really? I do for the most part Character Is it really about Chris Chris

Is it really about character though? Is it really about character though? My character as a person as Kingston. I stand pretty resolute in what I believe in. I understand that, but your character, your character individually doesn't reach, doesn't reach nearly as many people as this fucking thing does.

Nah, dude, what? I'm off. I'm pretty often Kingston here. At moments, the Sween machine takes control, you know, when he says, he says what he thinks. I don't even like hearing Kingston. I'm like,

not, it's Sweden mode all the time. It's fucking, it's Sweeno mode all the time. Svino mode. I try to take, I was going down to Suino mode because I, one time I mistakenly said some sweet shit in front of my girlfriend's family. And I was like, nigger.

Yeah, you got to watch. You got to watch that. I was like, I can't believe I said this, man. I made a really racist Mexican joke in front of a family full of Mexicans. Farewell. Good night moon. So they're like respectable Mexican because. Yeah, they're very respectable people.

I'm an asshole. What does that mean? Does that imply that Mexican is inherently disrespectful? Unrespective? No, I've, you said that, not me. I grew up with a lot of Mexicans from Sonora. You know, they moved over, they moved over to my hometown. Yeah.

And there's no filter. And, but in culturally, I don't, not seethingly like, oh, the South will rise again, but they're just like culturally like, it's okay to say racist shit because it's just all fun in games. There is no, like, cap. Like so when I go over It's just all like Hey what's up Negro Like hey what's up like I'm I'm black

My name's black to them I don't have any My name's black Yeah it's just Negro Oh hey Negro Like it's just you're I'm here I'm like oh hey You know like

You know I'm used to it But I'm just like other people Would probably be like Excuse me Like can you Can you not do But it's it's normal And it's like

There's way I could go on a tangent About that shit But it's just like I've been showing some comics of blackface that still exist over there and all this shit that they're just like oh yeah this uh fucking there was this super racist mask that uh my friend bought for my dad and then he sent me a picture of his dad wearing it and it's just total fucking blackface and

I was like too this is this is like dude people people people don't know like and I hope it's never tapped into I hope like the the problematic people the people that have a problem with everything I hope they never tap into that like the Latin the Latinx people I hope hope they don't tap into that shit. Just leave it be. I'm very, just leave it alone. I'm very mixed bag when it comes to Latin next thing. But at the same time,

I have been to fucking, what do you call it? Are they called Banda's? Are they called Bonda's? I guess I've just been to like, it's like Mexican parties where they have clowns and blackface on. And I'm like, what?

It's like, what? It's a clown. It's a clown. I swear to God, bro. I saw, and I was my literally my girlfriend Lily saw and she

probably didn't ever see it and notice what it was because she never had that's what I'm talking about that's like a black person not close even her and your family you know they never had a black person as close as to me I'm like one of the I'm like the dad's son he calls me his son a mom calls me her son you know so like she saw that

and then she realized what it was and she was just like I'm so sorry look that's my boyfriend wait How are you here and on the TV? The little baby walks up to it and says Kingston And I'm just like What does this mean?

A baby walks up to it says Kingston It walks up to your girlfriend It greets it like it's you They go home You look down And you're dressed like a clown now Is the baby warping reality slowly? No it's just that's a

It's like a twilight side zone. Yeah. There's a moment and there's a moment where I realize I'm on TV and they're seeing

me that moment as a clown. Yeah. And I'm like, oh man, I am a clown. Yeah, yourself aware.

What do you do? What do you do in that moment? Rifle to the back. Leave. Rifle to the back of the head, man. Shoot yourself

in the back of the head with a rifle? Is that what you just if you do it? If you do that, that is incredibly impressive. You got to get your finger

there. You got to get your wrestling with it. If you use like a fucking, you bend a hanger so you could like push the trigger count. You got a whole fucking setup. Yeah. It's a whole fucking contraption. It's just like that that goddamn pepe meme of him holding the shotgun behind this.

What is this old pepe? Is another pepe about the shoot him? Is another pepe about the shoot pepe? No, it's him. It's his own arms like behind him aiming the shotgun at his temple. It's the fight. I love that image. It's like a really old fucking pepe.

but it's a good one. Oh my God. The internet is undefeated, man. Under, yeah, no, without a doubt. You can't beat the internet. You can't. You can't. You can't fight as much as you want, but you'll never, ever, ever win.

You can't beat the internet. It's because the internet is just the will of our collective existence. It's the legion. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills. and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say.

And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Yeah, it's the unregulated, it's the un, well, relatively unregulated, just canvas by which all of our brains paint on. And it's just like, you just find like, hey, here's diapermates.com.

Here's fucking, you know, here's LiveLeak. Here's fucking World Star. You want to watch some fucking, you want to watch a 60-year-old woman get fingered in a Chucky Cheese by everybody there? Here you go. You know what's the new one? Hoodside, bro. Hoodside is the new fucked up place to go on, man. Oh, my God.

How are you finding the shit? Like, it's my, dude, look, I, is it the same one? Is it the dude, the banana dude? Which one? Is it that guy? Which one? The fucking, that African that you talked about from dude from Amistad and No, no, no, no.

That's my, like, childhood best friend. But, like, yeah. Yeah, you, you missed a lot, Chris. Yeah, yeah. There's like my childhood best friend, but my friends, what happened is that I attract a certain kind of person. I befriend a certain kind of person, you know. Chris, my friend.

Paul, Mike, you know, those kind of characters are people you, people I kind of, you know, I kind of attract,

you know, people are like, oh, I found a kindred spirit, someone who doesn't care about what they say. So my friends on my Twitter DMs, this is a whole story,

it's hilarious. So one time my girlfriend was really wanted to see my Twitter DMs with my boys, and I was like, I can't show you this because you're not going to appreciate what's in here.

And is it going to be naked girls? And I'm like, know it's going to be a lot of people losing their lives and she's going to be like what do you mean i can deal with it i showed her three videos there was one video of a guy jumping off a building and when he landed he looked like a dolphin by the time he landed and she was so upset at what she saw she went home she just got up and she was like i'm going to go home now honey please would you mind walking me downstairs downstairs. I didn't get a kiss

good night. I didn't get anything. She just got in a car and drove to her house. I think she had to really think long and hard that she's dating a fucking cycleback. She was like, oh, he's crazy. He's crazy. Dude, and under it was like, ha ha ha ha, ha. Look at that dude. He's fucked.

Ha, ha, ha. Surprise he didn't die. Like, that was the comments they were leaving after that. It's wild, man. That's, yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not into, like, that's the one thing were across the line. And that was with, I remember that's when I really noticed

how different my brother and I were. My brother's like about two, three years old than me, and we would rent the faces of death videos at the Blockbuster, or no, not Blockbuster, they're Sigma,

they had them at Sigma video. And that was when, that was the moment. I just remember because, like, he, he, I saw one of them, and I was like,

dude, this is fucked up. Like, I was just thinking, like, this is fuck, they like, fucking hit a dog and cooked it and shit.

And I was like, bro. That's wild. Fucking dudes parachuting and landing in a swamp and then fucking crocodiles tearing them to pieces and you see their fucking intestines flopping everywhere and shit. My brother's just thinking this is fucking great. This is hilarious.

And I'm just like, dude, I was like, wow. Like, we are so fucking different. And yeah, like, I'm, I am, I am like, I'm like 80% sure that he's like undiagnosed with some type of sociopathy. I'm just, I'm pretty, sure. The type of stuff that he's capable of doing, but he just not on the far side of like, oh, I'm just going to start killing people, but like, I think he thinks about it. There is a lack of inherent empathy there. I feel like I'm super empathetic, but I think, I think my brain,

you can't be if you watch those videos. I think he wrestle with it. You have a cognitive dissonance. My brain just makes it so it's like, oh, this is a video, this isn't real. Because there's a few times where I've seen things that like, like I can't do the whole live league dive like I used anymore. Because that shit like, I can't sleep at night anymore. So I'm like, oh my God. I saw some guy grab copper wire. He was trying to steal copper wire. Chris showed me this shit. Some guy's trying to steal copper wire.

And his skin got cooked. You can see his organs, but the legend was keeping him alive. It was one of the craziest videos I think I've ever seen. And I saw that. I was, I saw that and it was fucked up. But I, like, I saw it and I was like mesmerized by like how insane of a, Like, because it looked like something out of fucking Dark Souls or something. Like, it did not look real at all.

Like, I think that's the only reason why I was able to watch it for as long as I did. I was like, this looks like animatronics. It was wild. This looks like a horror film. Like, I can't, like. It was, because you could tell the dudes are just not alive. It's just like literally electricity making it move. And I'm just like, this is fucking weird, man.

I saw that shit and I cried. I saw that shit. And I went to bed and I teared. Because I was like, that's a human. That's a human being. And that's when I realized. that that shell, that fucking angsty shell that I put up is just

gone because of all the shit I've watched. It's just been hitting it. I understand what you said in the beginning kind of like you've seen it kind of as a video like it's almost like different. I understand like what you did but like my brain was never able to do that. Yeah.

If if horror's done too well my brain immediately thinks these sick fucks researched how this shit would really be like and then they're just completely reimagining. And they're just doing it. And I'm just like, I can't, that's what a, I think, I might have mentioned this before,

but there was a death in the movie Green Inferno. It was the can't, they land on the island and then it's cannibals and shit. And like, there's like the first one where they like fuck some fat guy up. And the way that he sounds when he's like being fucked up and like he's like getting his eyes, no, like, torn out or his tongue taking out, whatever. The sounds he makes them like, I think they researched that. And it, because it was such an unusual sound that I've ever heard. Like, you couldn't just make that up yourself.

I'm reacting to it right now. You're talking about it. Yeah, like, nothing could sound that accurate without you having heard it before. Yeah, and it fucked me up. And I was like, dude, I was like, fuck this movie. It's interesting. I think that's like, I think that's why film was. Success starts with your drive.

and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's, it's your happy place. 24 frames for the longest time. Because you know how like, you remember when Blu-ray started coming out and then you started getting like 60 frame movies And like it was uncomfortable for a while, right? Like it was like something about it was just like this looks so, this looks too real The first time I saw salt dude Yeah, even if it was salt

That was the first blue ray movie I think I really remembered seeing That's such a weird thing to remember it was It was the first time I saw a movie that was like this looks too real That's the first time I was like this looks different What is this? I guess I can understand that The first one that I saw was the town It was around the same time, I think, probably

2010. Hey, I'm a Batman. Let's rob a bank. Yeah, basically. It's what I moved here. But fucking, no, like, it's something about that, something about something looking like you're looking at it.

Makes it uncomfortable, even if it's not inherently scary. Like, you could be watching, like, fucking, I don't even know, like something like wholesome and fine on a TV. And then if it just looks too real, it's uncomfortable it's, you know what it is, it's exactly,

this is actually a great example. That fucking, the never gonna give you up video, the Rick Astley video that came out recently. Oh fuck that dude. Where you could see that 80s video in like 60 frames in 4K and it just looks,

everything about it looks wrong because it looks like it's happening in front of you. So fucked up. It looks like there's a filter. I hate it. I hate it. It doesn't look like the past.

It looks like a filter now and that disgust me. But there's an uncomfortability to it, despite the fact that that video is not really scary or unsettling at all. It's just a fucking 12-year-old who I thought was much older singing this fucking song in the 80s, but it's uncomfortable to watch. It's uncanny value-shed. That 60 frames, 4K version of that is really weird.

It's kind of like the footage of like New York City in 1999, the HD footage, where it's like 60 frames and it's like 4K footage of like 1999 as it was and you're just like what the fuck how do they even get this like how is yeah how i don't know it stuff like that is uncomfortable i can't i can't i can't i hate it i hate i hate realization i hate the idea of realization it just upsets me every time i realize something yeah i'm just like what the fuck is this dude yeah i think that's why those videos are watchable to to more people than they otherwise would be because so many so often so oftentimes they're like grainy or they're like they're like um you know they're fucking they're not 60 frames sometimes they're fucking 10 frames you know and it just it detaches

you from whatever's happening but like the the closer it gets to like HD and and 60 frames is the more uncomfortable it is to watch yeah to me because i think the the constant i think the constant uh the state like if it's locked at 60 that's so unusually that's so unusually for our eyes. Yeah. You know, our eyes fluctuate between those frames.

So you're not catching everything. And then when it's locked in like that, when you see everything, it's always, my eyes have never, ever, ever, and they never will be

completely used to 60 frames. Because there's a weird kind of like space when you're seeing everything around that like you're, because like, if you see a human walk by pretty quickly, you're not,

you're not looking. Exactly. You're not going to see every frame. So it's weird when you see like fucking, in a video game when someone's walking by and everything's locked and seen it's like this look this this person's moving

to like it's unsettling but it's better what doesn't that have more to do with like the way that we delineate focus in like the image that we're looking at like it's like if if if because our eyes are looking at like individual points for the most

part and then we just kind of get peripheral information from whatever it is that we're looking at so like we're still like it's not like the world runs at like an inconsistent and frame rate, you know? Well, it's not our world, it's our eyes. That's what I'm saying. Your eyes aren't, what are you saying?

Yeah, no, but like they don't like fluctuate between frames. It's just that we fluctuate between focus and we just don't pay attention to it. Like if we, if our pupils were just the size of our eyes and we were just locked steady and we just saw our whole vision as clearly as like we see a screen, it would probably be like equivalent to like a locked 60 or a locked frame rate. It's just that we don't look. I'm not sure about that. Well, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's true.

if you look at like if you look like somebody punching you in real live versus a video locked in 60 frames of like a punch coming at you looks very different yeah like you don't you don't look it looks very different but that's that has nothing to do with the the frame rate of the universe per se is this our absorption of it you know what is what is the frame rate of the universe though well well i guess i don't think that's like what is the frame rate of life we don't have frame rates in life i think it's just like What I mean is like say your eyes sometimes don't have the ability to capture everything within that moment. Right. But then a video camera has the ability to show you everything. Yeah, I know. And so it's kind of like, so it's like weird.

Like I would never see this. If I, you know, swiping in front of the camera, I can't focus on everything. But a video has the ability to like capture all that shit that you normally wouldn't see and it looks fucking weird. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. But that's it's, I always feel like. I feel, what it feels like to me is I can't explain it.

It's like seeing things in 60 frames. I almost feel like I'm in, like, space. Like, there's like a weird feeling that I have when I'm seeing things. I almost feel like it's like the way when you see certain lenses and stuff, when they're capturing stuff in space. There's like a weird, like, I don't even know how to explain it. It's hard to explain that. But like, all I know is that it's easier to play video games with.

That's all I know. I'm like, I can see things better. and that's like if I'm shooting stuff I want 60 frames or more because I can see more and it's easier but like barring that if I'm watching a movie I don't need frames to be that great because I feel like I'm in a fucking soap opera I feel like it just

everything's too I used to have that problem when that was new but like I don't have it anymore because like video games are now 60 frames and like pretty much everything is 60 frames like I shoot in 60 frames I edit in 60 frames I published in 16-frames, so it's like... Yeah. I've lost...

I've lost the association with soap operas, but, like, initially, like, when that used to... When that was, like, new, I remember being, like, this looks like a fucking soap opera. Like, I don't like the way HD looks. It looks weird. I still, dude. I still can differentiate. Like, if I...

If the TV, I have to turn that setting off, whatever that bullshit is, I turn it in time I have, like, a smart TV. And I can still fuck with things 60-frame. No problem. But, If I wanted to look more real to me, like say, I remember watching, for example, I was watching Glad Eater,

and then it's just like 4K 60, and I'm just like, this shit doesn't even look like, I don't feel like I'm in Germania, like, and it's all cold and stuff. It just looks like everything's like, all right, we're just on a set. It's just like, I still get that. I can't get over it.

And it's weird. It's weird. I can't get over it. It's probably because I don't just like, I still kind of go back. I still like let me watch things in like 24 to 30. And like music, anything. I record my videos in 60 frame on YouTube,

but that's for people. Like if it was my choice, I would be like, oh, I'm turning the 60 frame off. But that's for other people like, I want to watch it in 60 frames. I'm like, yeah, this is, you know, I have the ability, so why not?

Yeah, it was definitely easier to edit with 24 frames. Like, I remember, I remember that specifically, like, because I used to film in 30 or 24 or something. I think it was like 29 point whatever the fuck. It's like, 25.19, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And like, it was way easier to edit with, with those frames.

Because I remember when I started going 60, I was like, because I did a lot of shaking edits. I did a lot of like, whenever I had text, and I wanted to shake a lot. Yeah. You know, I would do that manually. Like, I would, I would move it a little bit at a key frame, move it a little bit at a key frame, move it a little bit at a key frame. And I still do it that way.

But it used to be so easy because there were like half the frames. And now I'm like, every time I do it, I'm like, oh my God, I got to do this for the next like four minutes. Just to get this shaking for like. And it's, yeah, it's, I don't know, it's very weird. It's nowhere near the amount of animation that actual animators do. Like, like Mick, who just put out that thing. Oh, what you call it. His new episode of Blood Sun Vendetta, yeah.

Blood Sun Vendetta, it's amazing, dude. He's doing like all of this animation himself. He's doing like, he's got people helping him. Sure, but like it's like a passion project that he's working on. It's so good. It's like insane that one person is behind that. Mick is crazy. Mick is like a working machine.

So ridiculous. It's so insane. I don't have that. To me, seeing him do that. He did that. That's just him. That's just his creation. It blows my fucking mind.

I messaged him. I was like, dude, I was like, dude, you're unbelievable. You're fucking insane. He's just like, it's a lot of work. like like please guys on here please check out blood son of vendetta it's on the rest rice pirate on youtube it'll blow your fucking mind yeah he's great we want to get him on the podcast so badly we want to get him uh well we'll we'll get some guests i might have a pretty interesting guest that we won't talk about yeah we won't say you won't say yes to that one but that one is

pretty wild i am uh a static i'm i am stoked um but yeah fucking uh what what are we at on on your guys's recording since I jumped in late. Yeah. 1.15. Have you guys jumped into questions at all? We didn't have the questions. I didn't know where they were. Because I think it's last week's, last week's questions. No, no, it's still, is it still last week's questions? I think it's still lackiest questions. It shouldn't be.

I mean, because I delete them as I ask them. I can't minimize my thing because I'm recording the screen. I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh, I'll do it. So let me grab it. So it. So it probably, okay. I see what I can. I can't just minimize it. Before I looked at it, it seems like, because it's not about, it says not about our other script. We are, our vague. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the, the, the, the, the start is the same.

Oh, but the questions I always, because sometimes I don't have a, a topic in mind until we record. Yeah. But, like, the questions are usually up to date. Derek, I can't stand what the fuck you've done with your hair. I can't stand you. It looks so cool, but at the same time,

God fucking damn it, dude. I mean, I'm just, you know, they call me the last niggerai you know you just try is this when did you do this the the hair oh oh i just got a haircut last night 20 minutes ago it was actually you know the funny the the thing is that motivated me to do it though because um i've been kind of i've been kind of sick for like over a month and i was like losing my mind like what's wrong with me um i think it i think i have a sinus infection ah so but but the thing is i didn't really notice because it was like in the middle of my head not like my ears or or like say right here.

It was just like, but there's a lot of weird things happen to me. And also with my stomach, so I'm going to get an endoscopy or whatever. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much,

just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. And another thing, I was freaking out to the point where I'm like, dude, what is happening?

And I was like, do I maybe have Lyme disease? I don't know. I was just like, I was just so like I'm going to exhaust every, I'm going to check everything. And then I remember feeling like, I was like, dude, the back of my head feels like really fucked up. I'm just going to shave off the hair so I can look at it and see if there's like a rash or something like a fucking tick bought me. And then I'm just like, all right, I know I'm being retarded. I was like, I know I'm being stupid. But I was also like, might as well do it and then just have this haircut, you know, just get a little bit Asian and, you know, just look good.

I respect it, man. I'm jealous. I wish I went for it, man. Yeah. I'm the fucking resident weed here and you fucking beat me to the punch. So I'm very upset. I'm very upset about that. Yeah.

Somebody would just message me They were recommending Podcast No not podcast They were recommending anime stuff to me And I was about to laugh at him But then there was one that I saw that I was like, wait, I actually saw that

So maybe this guy has Maybe he knows what he's talking about Maybe he has credibility Yeah, some credibility Because he said one of them is called Vagabond Vagabond Vagabon's pretty good

Oh so you know Vagabon Yeah and then he suggested Berserk But I'm like I know Berserk man I was playing a sort of berserk on fucking Dreamcast Of course The Zerk is fucking But the thing is that there's a modern series now

You remember the one The 90s one That's what you remember Yeah Oh and then they there's a modern manga of it That's way different Not it's different But it's different

But it's everything that they didn't fill in With blanks between They fill in all the blanks And it's crazy Like I'm Isn't that Isn't that Berserk show The new Berserk show really bad

The animation is very bad The new manga is very good though. Right, right, right, right. The manga's really fucking good. I see. I like how you knew Vagabond, but still insist that you're not a weave. Because Vagabond's pretty popular.

This when I was younger, it was popular. I don't watch anime like that anymore. Yo, guys, look, okay, look. It's very popular. I would argue it's about as popular as Nightwing's secret identity. You know what, Chris? I can't fucking stand here, right? Leave me alone.

Fucking dick. People don't know. I don't know people don't know who Dick Grayson is. They make me so angry. We're not doing it. doing this again. It's so bad. You know I'm right. But I'm a prime nerd. That's why. So I'm biased.

There's not many fucking nerd things that I don't know. Your girlfriend broke the news to you, right? She didn't know. She didn't know. Yeah. Of course not. And she knew as soon as I said the first rob, he was like, oh, yeah, I think I know who that is. And I was like, Lily. You failed me. She could name every fucking Jedi off the top of her fucking head. Like, no, no, no, like all of them. almost as many as I can name

and she'll fight to the death that Obi-Wan Kenobi's the greatest hero of all time but she didn't know who the fuck Dick Grayson was and I was like you have failed me you have failed me you cannot take my name you win nothing good day you know what it is it's like Star Wars

is really good in that way because it it kind of turns people's names into catchphrases you know like one of the most famous quotes from fucking Star Wars was like Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi are my only hope Like I remember hearing that like I remember hearing that in like fucking

Shit that's completely unrelated from like Star Wars It was just like I it's a reference to this thing I'm like what is that name? Like it's it's crazy to think but like I'm pretty certain More people know who Obi-Wan Kenobi is than Dick Grayson? Absolutely that makes sense Yeah Yeah it's Star Wars has a thing where like the names are kind of

You always they a lot of times they'll release the names before you even know what the fuck the characters do now. That's a huge thing comes out of the series. Yeah, so it's like, oh, Kylo Rin, and people are like, oh, that sounds cool. Look at this guy. And he gave me, he takes up his shirt, and he's not broad. He's the broadest person.

He was so broad. I was like, why is he so wide? He's a Bruce Tim fucking animation. He's like a box of tea. He's so broad. He's such a strangely broad individual. He's the ugliest handsome man. Every time I think about him, though,

I think about that guy that put, your face on his chest, Chris. Like somebody fucking Photoshop Chris's fucking you know that what we did that Twitter trash and Chris did the yes.

Okay. That shit is so iconic to the point where somebody put that his face from there on Kylo Rin's fucking chest and it's my favorite thing. I can't I can't separate the things. I just see your face on his fucking body. I wish I wish you could

find that. Right? One of my favorite things is the fucking what is it oh my god somebody it was really uncomfortable when I first saw it but it's made me laugh quite a bit since I've seen it

again like out in the wild somebody like somebody like I don't know what they did they like face swapped me or like they they like used that that weird AI like face CGI shit

Oh like a deep fake thing Yeah they like deep faked me onto that kid from the polar express who the nerd kid who's like you know that is right or you know

like the fucking mandark kid and it's fucking annoying because that movie is already like Uncanny Valley CG so more Uncanny Valley

CG on it just looks right success starts with your drive and American Public University is here to fuel it with affordable

tuition and over 200 flexible online programs APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half. and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Like it just looks like I saw it. When I first saw it, I was like, that's just the movie, right? Why does that look like me? Why does this old movie character look like

current me. It like fucked me up for a little bit because I thought that I always look like me. No, no. That's what I was like thinking. I was like maybe I just don't remember the Polar Express, but that's like a shockingly similar looking dude. That's so disgusting. And it just wasn't. They fucking. That's such a disgustingly terrifying thing, man. At the moment you can't. Imagine when you start really like losing your mind. Because like we're, we're, we're, I'm pretty sure by like 37, it's going to start slipping in and out of like anything could be real. So imagine like, at the moment, like at,

the point where it's already happening and you see a video of you doing something. I'm like, was that? Was I, I wasn't in. Was I in soul playing? The fuck? No, right? No. Is I on Tosh.0?

Yeah, it's, it's fucking weird because like, especially with like deep fakes and just, uh, the widely accessible, uh, just AI speech boxes like the Jordan Peterson and bot that talks like Jordan Beazoo, you type it in. And the SpongeBob one, that mixed with like deep fakes and just like the overall, like, overwhelming accessibility of editing software and like how anybody can get their hands on it now. We're definitely like approaching a point if we're not already in that point of a, of an era of time where like pretty much nothing is reliable unless you see it. Like with your own fucking eyes.

Yeah, you have to be. And even that, even eye witness is not reliable at the same moment. Yeah, exactly. So you just fuck. Yeah, because eyewitness is like the least, what is it, the least reliable source. Not reliable source, but it's like, there's a word for it. It's like, it's like the least, um, verifiable form of evidence or like something like that. It's, it's like the, yeah.

It doesn't matter if you, it doesn't matter if you see somebody doing something. Like it. There's a level of, uh, of deep fake that it's, uh, Ethan and Ela from the office. Oh, yeah, I saw that. that shit is it's else it's like dude this is we're already here we're we're here like there's a there's a scene there's a scene from the office where Kevin the fat one like the fat uh accountant dude and this woman who I don't remember I haven't watched that episode that seemed like a season of the office that I just didn't see ever but like some woman walks up to Kevin and they're having a conversation and it looks like

Ethan and Heela and it looks like I saw it at first what I thought was like oh that's funny they dressed like office characters and built a set that looks like the office and filmed something for the meme that's funny that's really cool that must have taken a lot of time and then I continued to watch it

and then like I slowly started to realize that it was just the office and I was being manipulated then I slowly realized it was just the office It was like being gas-in-frey It was like being gaslit by a video Like it was the weirdest feeling I've ever had I was like I swore

I would on the first frame of this video I would have bet my entire income That that was just them in costume Fucking around And then by the end I would have been Destitute in a gutter with nothing That's that is it man That's it's it's

It's terrifying how good that shit is already and as like say I don't know I can only imagine like all of this fan is I just

I don't even want to put any ideas out there man but it's just people are going to do some wild shit Yeah people are going to do some really wild shit I'm not looking forward to that People already Let me just say this quick

Yeah I made A with the Jordan Peterson's AI voice thing I made a thing A couple years ago or whenever it was that just says ladies send nudes to Derek Blackman and the amount of people that were like

when did you get him to say that because it's what it doesn't even sound like weird at all like it's just and I was just like this is fucked up I understand why he wanted it gone I still I was still like kind of pissed off but at the same time I was like okay nobody thought like no one's thought was oh that's crazy how did you do that

they were like oh my God when did he say that And I was just like, okay, this is, all right. Yeah, because there was a point in time on the internet where, like, there were speech bots, but they were obviously like, you know, it's like, oh, that's funny. Like, it sounds kind of like SpongeBob. That's neat. Or the one that sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the soundboard. That was one of my favorite things when I was younger. I love that.

Yeah. The first thing that I remember in this, even this sphere of, I guess you could call it content, but like, I don't know what else to call it deep. face. Was that Jordan Peel video where he was like impersonating Obama and they like scanned his face over him? Yeah. And they just like had him saying a bunch of ridiculous shit. I was like, that was the first time I was like, yo, this is going to be a real big

problem in like the next decade. Oh. Because now it's just like video evidence is useless. Like just straight up. It's like it's uncomfortable. But that's that's real life. So I figured why why not just jump in with? these questions, huh? Yeah, the night is dark and full of terrorists.

What? The night is dark and full of terrors. Yeah, it did get shockingly dark real quick for a second. Yeah, I'm almost invisible. Homegrown, wrote in. He says, hello, love the show. I'm, look, I could be wrong. And, like, maybe I didn't delete the questions from last episode.

I don't think I did because I don't think we answered any of these, but I'll read it and you tell me if this sounds familiar. Okay, gotcha. Hello, I love the show. I'm a long-time listener and a second-time askerer. You forgot my name last time. It's a pretty simple one. Would you rather have all foods taste the same or all music sound the same?

All foods taste the same? No, all music. I don't know. I'm out. I'm out. I'll go with food. I'll go with food. You wait, so you would have all food taste the same?

Hell yeah. What flavor would you pick? Pussy. Ooh, that's nice. I'm not too-a-pussy. I'm not too-a-pussy. I'm not just-fuzzy. That's kind of crazy. That's, that's like overkill. Yeah. Damn, man. Damn, that's a hard fucking thing. Exactly.

I probably do, like, because the problem is, because if it's okay, so it's all food, if it's all food. Damn. You know, if it's all food, it would have to just be like a, like a, like, if it can just be one, like a grilled cheeseburger, like a cheeseburger with fucking grilled onions. I think I'd be totally fine. Yeah. I think I would probably choose food only because I still have drinks to offer me like a variety of flavors. Exactly. Can I just blend foods into liquids and then they'll be taste like themselves? No, it's food.

But you're drinking it. Right, but you've had to bring it to that point. It's food. I just don't know. I love food, but I love music. Like, it's real hard. I can't give up hip-hop. Oh, man.

Yeah, I'll choose food. food too. Yeah. Damn. The thing for me is that it drives me insane hearing the same thing over and over again, let alone the same song. So the thought of like never being able to listen to a different song sounds like absolute hell. I would certainly rather just be able to taste something delicious more often and probably like even if it's, even if I got sick of it. Even if it was like I want everything to taste like a pepperoni pie. Uh, that's like the worst case scenario, is everything I eat is delicious but boring you know

and I still have drinks I can like you know I could drink tea I could drink milkshakes I got I got the I have enough spice there that I could I could alleviate the the nuisances To a certain degree Yeah to a certain degree

But to a greater degree than I would If it was a song like because I don't even know What song I would pick Because I like songs I like music I have favorite songs But even my favorite song I wouldn't listen to like The whole fucking

day. Drive me insane. You lose your mind. Yeah, it's what they do. It's literally a form of torture. And also, think about it, we're musicians, so. Yeah, it would fucking, fuck us out. You would start making music and then it would start sounding like that song.

You wouldn't be able to make different music. You would just make the same song over and over. You know what's wild, though? You know what's wild about that is because it would really just be our perception of that, right? So we could look at like a guitar and kind of, We would have to feel it out mathematically. Like, we would have to be like, what's, okay, we'd have to be like,

that's a metronome, that's moving back and forth at like a very specific sound. Okay. So that's 4-4. That's 4-4. I'm going to play these notes. We're not going to hear them, but we know how they would sound.

So let's just try and make this song. You're not going to be a good music. You're not going to be good music. No, no, that's the thing. You can't make a music. Because the second you'd be, but if you manage to do it mathematically successfully, you'd be like,

okay, so this is the baseline. I know how that would sound based on my knowledge of music theory. This is the guitar part because I know how that would sound and how that would accompany this bass. You would be able to make something theoretically if you were like

really smart and really driven, you'd be able to make something that sounds really good, but you would never be able to hear it. No, you know what's worse? You know what's worse than that? You just kind of understand. Because you would hear what it might be.

What it would be? Because I would be like, because I understand music theory. Like I can read sheet music, you know? And if you give me a guitar and be like, hey, play the notes. I just see another thing. I might be able to do it. Not very well.

But you would try to, like, this sounds like this. And then you would start remembering the sound. Then it would be that same song again. And you'll be like, oh, no. My frame of reference is gone now too. Because everything sounds like living in the sunlight, loving the moonlight from fucking SpongeBob. I can't discern sounds anymore other than that.

I would definitely kill myself a song. I could not listen. that for the rest of my life. It would have to be... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers,

starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. West.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon.

She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's.

It's your happy place. It would have to be like the longest song. You know? Like it would have to be like, okay, here's a song that's like six hours. It's like, okay, well, that's the song I'm going to choose. Because at the very least, I can get six hours of variation in whatever the hell I'm listening to. It'd have to be that song. Bohemia Rhapsody.

It would drive me insane. And especially the fucking, the bridge. Yeah, Galileo. That would fucking, dude, I would. after dude at the end of one day i think i would kill my literally i'd be i can't do it i can't do it but i hate that i love that song i hate that part of that song i love that song that part is for people who like opera i'm not really an opera fan right after the song i can go i can go to an opera but like dude the fucking intro mama like great yeah it's great awesome yeah awesome yeah awesome

the fucking when the band kicks in at the end with the guitar. That shit is amazing. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's arguably one of the best songs I think ever made,

but the bridge just makes me so fucking mad. I can't stand that chick. It's like, why is this radical change in music tone? I don't know, man. It's no country roads. My little NAS-Eaks. No,

no, what? No, what's, no, no. No, what's it? Wait, wait, what is it? Wait, wait, wait. No, that's Old Town Road. What's Country Road? Country Road.

country oh take me home to a place where I belong I'm just thinking of fucking little Nazex singing country I don't like that song that much you don't like country road

that's a good song I like the chain take my horse to Virginia West Virginia I'll take my horse to West Virginia that's so fucking funny.

So fucking dumb. Dude, that song's a great song, dude. Old Town Road? Country Road. No. Such a shithead twice in a row. That's a good. To the motherfucking blades.

That's a good song, man. I don't like country really at all. There's some fucking good country, dude. But that's a good country song. Like, that's a song admittedly that, like, just, I did start really liking because of that fallout trailer because it just went so well. And Fallaut's just like a good introduction to old music. Yeah, very much so.

Like, I found some of my favorite songs from, like, Fallout 3 and, like, and the fucking radio stations. But I'm saying, it's, it's, no, the chain, just saying. Yeah, the chain by Fleetwood Mac is pretty great. But specifically that bass at the end, the boom, boodoo do do do do do do. Fucking. Yeah! Keep us together! It's fucking good.

but like I don't know it's funny listening to those old fallout songs though because like it's there's some parts of them that like they're definitely

look they're old songs so I think I know what you're going to say do you know which one I'm thinking of you know but I just I think I just know what you're going to say though you probably know which one I'm thinking of it's it's in Fallout 3

and it's bingo bango bongo I don't want to leave the Congo Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the? Bingle, bangle, bangle, I'm so happy in the jungle. I refuse to go. And I think you could probably infer where that goes.

But it's hilarious. Old-timey music, and you have to think about, you have to escape past the fact that most of the people making those songs, whatever it is. Like, oh, this person's most likely see these. racists. Bingo bingo bingo bangle. Or if they're not,

they're just using language that is colloquially okay at the time that is obviously. It would be like listening to a song. Honestly, it's actually, now that I think about it, it's not that dissimilar to like that black eyed peas, the fucking let's get retarded in here or whatever the hell. God, I love that shit. That's a song that's like, you know,

now would be like, wow, you're a real piece of shit. But like, I don't think the black eyed peas are like fucking able to devil people. I understand your argument. And that is because I think about that shit every once in a while, and it just makes me so happy. It's true. It just makes me so happy.

What kind of existence? Stupid. It just makes me so happy. Dude, when I, okay, so I think I was in seventh grade, my mom gave me a copy of that album. Because she was like, oh, check out these black eyed peas. And I was just like, oh, yeah, I think they have a couple of songs that are, right. And I, at that point, I had only heard, let's get it started.

Yeah, yeah. Right? So when I got the album, my eyes, I was fucking, like, elated. I was, I was so ecstatic. I was just like, oh, my God, these dudes won't stop saying it. They're saying it. Like, when they're saying it in unison and, like, you really hear Furgy at the top, like, it's like, get retarded. Get retarded.

Then they're like, get retarded. And I'm just like, this is, you don't understand what this does to me. It's wild. And it's even wilder that it's actually like, that's, Let's Get Retarded in here was actually like the clean version of let's get autistic in here, which came out a year prior. Let's get. It's a real, that's real trivia for you.

Let's get autistic in hot. I'm pretty sure. The song goes, the song goes and I quote, let's get autistic in here. Let's misreads. some social cues, and that's the, that's the song. That's the real song from the 90s. And then the labels were like, you know, this is, this is amazing, but we can't do this. We cannot do this.

And then they settled with retarded. I can't be on this podcast anymore, guys. It's been a good run. I'm definitely autistic in some degree. Like, I refuse to believe. I'm mentally autistic. I think there's a lot of, I think there's a lot of people on the spectrum that just haven't been diagnosed.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Like, like, you have to, like, go and get checked out. You would never know. We got to go. We got to be there. You had to be there. It's like, you're not having a self-awareness.

You're like, oh, shit, you know. It's weird like that. It's kind of like, I kind of, I didn't realize the imposter syndrome I had until people started explaining it. And then I was just like, oh, no wonder. When I'm doing certain things, I kind of cringe at myself. because and I didn't really think anything of until somebody explained like what in

like a form of impotra syndrome it's like you're doing something that especially that may be like pretty cool or really funny it's like say a tweet that goes viral like if I make a joke and it goes viral I'm like outside of myself and I feel like kind of stupid I'm like

this isn't like I almost feel like I'm trying to imitate somebody or something or I'm trying to be like I'm trying to be funnier than I actually am or something it's a weird thing that I'm like Yeah, I know exactly. Definitely. It's like,

yeah, and I was like, oh, okay, there's, there we go, like, this is,

a lot of people, you guys feel this too. All the time. I get it. When people laugh at my jokes are like, like one of my memes, someone's just fucking hilarious,

I'm like, all right, that's enough. I don't even know if it's that, so much as it's, it's not, I don't know if it's that so much as this, but like,

whenever I am, like, making something, it, it is, there's a degree of like, like, oh,

I'm just, I'm pretending to do this job. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, man, I watch so many, like, good YouTube people. And when I'm doing it, I don't consider it as if I'm doing that. It's, like, almost like I'm imitating, but not really. Like, not word for word or anything, but it's like, it's like when you would, like, pretend to have a job when you were, like, a kid or whatever the fuck. You know?

And you'd be like, oh, you know, I got to go to work or whatever the fuck. You just, like, you're, like, a four-year-old, and you got, like, some fucking notepad. And you do whatever the fuck is associated with a notepad. Just to pretend like you have a life that you're in control of. Yeah. It's like that almost. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, that's, uh...

Yeah, so we all chose... We all chose food, yeah. I think that's... What? We were talking about food? The food question. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure I remember. Yeah.

Hager, Derek, the movie theater assistant manager wrote, and he says, happy February, Chris with the big cock, Derek with the bigger cock, and Sweeney with the Man of Con. When it comes... When it comes to ice cream What the fuck, really? What flavors do you normally go for? I don't need ice cream. I'm not a fucking fool. Cookie dough.

A goddamn cookie dough? Is that the question? Yeah, I personally... I fuck heavily with pecan parlin. Paroline? What is that? Praline. Pekan preline.

Oh, he wrote Parlein. I know Pralene because of the fact that I worked at Starbucks. That's the reason why I know. And Blue Bell's Banana Put. ice crime, man. Who does matter putting hits. Dude. This fucking, that novelty ice cream shit upsets me. I'm sorry.

I'm not a fan of ice cream, really. I like ice cream. I like, so much. I think it's okay, but like of the, I don't know, like, of the, of the, of the desserts that I could have, I'll tell you what I do love. I'll fuck, I'll, and you bring me an ice cream cake with that fucking cookie stuff in the middle, I'll devour that shit. That thing is gone. That is, that cookie crack that they put in the middle of ice cream cake. Like the fudge you to wheel shit?

The fucking Fudgy the Well from Carvel. Fugging the Welf. Whatever that is. Because it's not, like, people were like, oh, it's just Oreos, Chris. It's not fucking Oreos. Don't patronize me. Okay? It's not fucking Oreos.

It's not standard chocolate chips. It's its own thing. And I don't know where it comes from. Who? Huh? It's Cudgy Crumblies. What is that? It's just cookies.

But a particular kind of cookie. broken down. I've never been able to find those fucking cookies independently outside of an ice cream cake. So maybe I'm just having a hard time finding these cookies, but that shit is crack. It's crack. Like I would actually...

I could conceivably eat that until I genuinely died. Like, I could eat that stuff until my stomach burst until I died of sepsis. Sepsis. We should try it. You should try it.

Riot dickhead. She gave it a goo. I thought I was going to die a sepsis once. I thought I was going to die like 12 times in my life, man. I'm fine. That's cool. That's cool. The day you start.

One day you're going to just die and not think about it. So like it's, I've given up on it. I hope that's what it happens. And it's not one of those things we have a lot of time to think about it. Like you're tied up and someone's like, I'm going to torch you. Then eventually I'm going to kill you. Did you imagine before they do it before you die? Some guy docks you.

Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's.

It's your happy place. like he what do you mean like he wait hold on what so he like puts his penis in your foreskin he puts his penis in your peehole okay so that's what you meant that's that's that's you didn't release your information online i was like okay no not docks is docks but like hard like he docks you see that's what i that's i thought you meant doxes or doxes you like like oh hey i'm going to send your your information out there um but what you said was was was was he touched penises and and puts a penis inside another one yeah which i thought was insane of you to say so i gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed that you meant

addressing yeah i'm and i was giving you an out but give me it's fine it's fine i understand i thought dock okay but for docking to even happen somebody has to be uncircumcised correct what isn't that the real way to do it yeah what like yeah like yeah like you don't literally put your dick inside someone's pee hole. That's not possible. I mean, it's probably very difficult. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, no, it's, that's not happening. Yo, don't make me look this up on my computer right now. I don't want this on my history. But like, I'm pretty sure if you really, if you've been sounded enough, you can do it, I'm pretty sure. Kingston, that's not a practice that is doable more than once. Because the second you do

that once, you're done. You're fucking, your, your tentals are shredded. You got, you got, You're going to have to pee like someone tipping over a can of coolant. It's going to be, it's over for you. It's done. Look, all I'm saying is that I wouldn't do it. But people, people, the human mind, its greatest and worst feature is its ability to constantly figure out ideas. We are, we've, we've done some fuck shit, man. What does this have to do with ice cream?

I saw some guy put his whole one time. fucking his whole entire knee in a woo-ha one time. And I was like, damn, bro. Once? I don't even gonna say that. What, say it, say it, say it, no, never mind. I was gonna tell a story. Say it, please.

Please, you gotta say it now. No, never mind. You gotta say it. I'll ask, I'll ask the person that it's about if I can tell it. And, uh, and then I'll, uh, it's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. But, uh, yeah, I, I, I should ask.

Interesting. But, so ice cream, huh? So yeah, I don't like ice cream. I'm not a big fan. That's fucking weird. I mean, I'm lactose intolerant. I mean, I am too. How are you like full blown or because there's levels to that shit?

I mean, it hurts. But like, but like, because there's like. My stomach is like shambles. Okay, there's like my mom like, say like, yeah, she's in agony. And then there's me where it's like if the ice cream level, if the quality is poor, then it's like I might have somewhat of a bad night, but not real. You know, it's, I get, all right. Well, it's not super, it's not super bad.

It's just like I get uneasy. But like I just don't find the, I just don't find the flavor of ice cream to be worth that unease as opposed to other forms of dairy. Like, I'm a little bit lactose intolerant, but like, I don't, look, man, nothing's going to keep me away from pizza. Like, it's just not. Like, you're not going to do shit. But pizza's very rare. You get like you react to pizza, most people in general. Well, the reason why you don't react to pizza is because, you, the enzymes that you need to break down dairy.

Like so when it comes to cheese the aging of that process It makes it so less for you to have to deal with what you do with like where it comes to like say for milk Yeah, yeah yeah So like mozzarella aged cheese basically won't affect you Like it's it's it honestly really do unless you're deathly Lacto like say if you're totally fucked then cheese might affect you but it really shouldn't it fucks me up sometimes I'm so lactose intolerant that if I eat yogurt I feel like I got drugged That's an allergy

That's crazy. Yeah, that's... I feel like I've been drug. That's how I fall asleep now. I gotta wake up early for class now. So I literally go. I eat a yogurt. And then in like 20 minutes,

I feel like somebody slipped me a roofie. And I just pass the fuck out. It's insane. Yogurt is weird because I like yogurt and I enjoy it when I'm eating it, but I never want to get it. Like, I never... Like, I'm never in the mood to get yogurt.

I love it. But if I have yogurt, I will eat it. Yogurt's pretty good. I have actually a fridge full of yogurt. and I have like fucking d'animals at probiotics and stuff I'm a fan I love d'animus

But I also have Danimals is fucking great I'll never know Yeah they're fucking delicious Yo you remember Tricks Tricks yogurt was like crack Tricks yogurt is so sweet now though You probably can't

I'm sure you can't just eat two of them now It's diabetes for sure I'm sure you can't sit down to eat two tricks yogurts now I'm sure they don't even make it anymore because it was probably too toxic It's too toxic Just fucking run off from the Tricks factory You know, man, I have, I have, and look, man, I don't watch Cartoon Network or, like, TV at all, so, like, maybe I'm not seeing the Tricks Yogurt commercials as much as I did when I was a kid.

But I don't think it's a thing anymore because, like, I look for yogurt at, like, like, I've been to, like, Ralphs and Vons and, like, Walmart and, like, fucking Target and, like, fucking Target and, like, fucking Target and, like, fucking Target, and, like, I don't know if they're still making them. Because, why? So they turned into those tall white bunnies and people are freaking the fuck out. So they got rid of them. So they turned into that fucking human bunny. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say.

And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. Interesting.

It looks like they might be gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're gone. They're definitely gone because there's a petition to bring them back. Yeah, they just discontinued them. Fucking fat motherfuckers. They discontinued. Yeah, imagine petitioning to get a specific yogurt back. Dude, people are signing it still.

35 minutes ago. What happened to it, dude? They discontinued. Was tricks yogurt discontinued? Dude Yeah, I mean They were making it And now they're not

That's what that means right Someone made this petition Two years ago And people are up to date Still signing it The Twix swirl is discontinued No wait Wow that's crazy to me

Yeah tricks yogurt's dead Hey so Andrew Andrew Gerdez is counting on you To sign this petition To get to send 10,000 signatures It's already at 8200 Almost 8,300. Did you just read Gutierrez as whatever the hell you just said?

That's not what it says. No, it says GERD, GERDES. All right. I've heard that exact pronunciation of Gutierrez before, and it, like, triggered me. No, I'm not, dude, I grew up with, like, 80% Mexicans. No, understand, Derek. That's why I was so off put by it. That's why I was so concerning.

No. That's crazy, dude. I'm going to sign a position. Yeah, hey, Snark Tank. snart-tank people, let's get, let's get the Tricks yogurt back. Yeah, let's get, like, cancel cultures come too far if they're going to cancel

tricks yoga. Yeah, I'm bringing it back. I don't give it, I don't give a fuck. Sweet, what kind of fucking ice cream you like, man? Well, what do you, what is your go-to? He said, Cookie-Doh. Oh, just Cookie-Doh, that's it. Oh, it's boring as fuck. Oh, that's really boring. I like it's nice as simple. I mean, mine isn't like, yeah, I guess.

What are you a Rocky Road kind of guy one of those weird motherfuckers? No, I already said I don't like, I'm not a fan of the novelty shit. I don't really, if you put too much shit in it, it just upsets me. So what are you in for? It's, it's, it's specifically the best thing because a lot of people just think vanilla is just a topping and not a flavor. Like vanilla is fucking great on its own. Like people are just fucking greedy, right?

So all I need is like vanilla, French vanilla preferably. Chocolate chip cookie, not just cookie dough. I mean, you get like a real chocolate chip cookie cookie. and break that shit up and put it in the ice cream and then just some hot fudge, that's it. That's it, man. And it's one of the best things I've ever had in my fucking life. Just those simple flavors together.

Yeah. Because I also think chocolate chip cookies, the right ones. Like, have you ever been to Albertsons, the grocery store? No. They have these purple and gold bags. They're like four bucks for these cookies. The chocolate chip cookies still, that's crack. That shit right there is, if I could,

If it wasn't for my acid reflux, I'd probably be like a thousand pounds because I just eat chocolate chip cookies all day. But I can't because chocolate is so acidic that I can't. Really? You can't have chocolate anymore? I can't. I can have it.

It's just going to upset me. Yeah, it's just annoying. That's crazy. I haven't gotten there yet. You can always have these things. It's just the matter of just like whether or not you're willing to deal with like the ramifications of having you. I'm so like a tolerance.

I love it. I love how high license tolerance. I am. It's fucking funny. I like, try, try to get that enzyme, dude. It might fix everything. There's like packets you can get, you take them, and then you're good. Yeah, maybe I'd like ice cream more if it didn't hurt me.

Yeah, that's good point. I'm fine. I'm making it. I'm living. I usually just go for the fucking, you know, mint chocolate chip because it's just like standard. And it's just like the least likely to, like. That's a controversial flavor for a lot of people, man. Is it really, mint chocolate chip?

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people that, that I don't agree with them, but there's a lot of people that freak out. and they're like, dude, it is just toothpaste to them. That's crazy. They can't have, there's a lot of people like that. Look, I'll agree that I can't just sit and, like, suck on a mint that just, like, taste like, because that, that to me, like, like, candy canes and shit, like, it's just too overpowering with the mint. It's too much.

It's too much. It is essentially fucking toothpaste. Even that's fine to me. Except worse, except worse, because it's doing the opposite of what toothpaste does. So it's like, so, like, for that, it's like, but, like, I feel like mint chocolate chip is, like, the perfect amount of mint. It's like it's not like overpowering. It's like it's subtle and the chocolate like, you know, the chocolate chips help it. I agree. I like, I like, you know what I used to do. It's like definitely like a definitely, another sign or something definitely wrong with me when I was younger. I would brush my teeth. The first time I brushed my teeth and then I drank orange juice afterwards, that taste was such a fucking unbelievable taste to me that I would do it on purpose sometimes. I just like it because it tastes it tastes like how I imagine Eldridge aliens look. It's a question mark thing going on in my brain.

It's like, what does this taste like? This is insane. So I would do that often. That would do it often. That's so stupid. I was a weird kid, man. I was a weird kid. That's really dumb.

There was definitely early signs that I was different that my family just didn't see. I always felt like orange, like orange juice was just. it couldn't mix with anything other than like fruits, fruits related to it because it's just like, it's just such a weird potent taste that like say like toothpaste or whatever but I started, uh, because you know there's like oh a screwdriver, uh, like the drink.

But I had a, because there's cranberry and vodka was good. Uh, you can have orange juice and vodka. Dude, when you mix all three together, it actually, I couldn't, I was surprised. It's fucking delicious. Like cranberry, orange juice and vodka was, didn't make sense that it was I was like the way this is actually good did I did I did I just create a new I mean I'm sure there's a drink it's called something I just did I never see people

doing that but I I never see people drinking it and I was just like dude this is actually good like what the fuck what are we doing here actually I'm like I might get one after this fucking podcast I'm like I'm gonna have a drink in a while I'm trying to get I'm trying to get I'm trying to get so well last time I drank I drank it like in the morning because I remember Chris came out in the living room and he's like are you drinking already I was just like yeah I'm fine I passed out And I woke up before it was dark. I went to the process of being drunk, being hung over, and the sun was still up.

And I was just like, oh, okay. Yeah, that's like, I don't know, that isn't very good. That isn't healthy men. On that note, seems like we're probably at that point, right? Yeah, just about. Start wrapping this up. Yeah, we're just about there. Yeah, we're just about there.

So, let me just get all this sorted. Take my country to the road. Take my country to the road and I'm going to kill my... I'm leaving. I'm leaving and I'm taking my country with it. Give me that. You walk off with it? That's mine.

You walk off with the ground. The ground comes with you. It's like, oh. Fuck me. This is different. It's like in like a sci-fi video game where like somebody walks, like, Like they're projecting a hologram and they walk with it It's like the world is just moving with them

It's just moving But yeah If you uh If you enjoy What you heard today Consider supporting us over at patreon.com Slash the Snark Tank $1 a month gets you early access to every episode

$5. Is that fucking What is that? Is that Matt? We're talking about this shit? Wait a minute That's the fighting game Paris Casai? Oh my God.

The Star Wars game. How do you have that? I've had it since my mom fucking bought it for me. That's amazing. I haven't seen that. I've never saw the disc. I'm so sad. Because I got it.

I stole it. I stole it. Oh, excellent. Excellent. Like I fucking burned it on my PS1 that had, uh, what is it? The, that could play burnt discs.

Oh, you had the hack one, right? Yeah, yeah. I still have it. That's such a good commodity, bro. That's the one you have here, right? That's when you have an house? Yeah.

Yeah. One that we have here is working and it's hacked. Now you guys can see it. Now you can see it. That's insane. It's not back. You gotta use that more for bullshit. Yeah.

But anyway, what was I even saying? If $1 a month gets you early access to every episode, $5 a month gets you a question read on the show, $10 gets you access to our Discord. That is not $10 a month for access to the Discord. That is $10 one month and you're in for good. And $25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which I will now do. Yes. Yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Count me down. Three, two, one. Blake Dillo, the epic Ashawatt, designated divorce paper delivery dude, silly putty eater, ace man. My unsullied series of sweet, dreamy, creamy, sweetie hentai. Fucking kill me. Your God won't love you until you subscribe to Dr. Purple on YouTube. Quitting reviews why Derek hasn't uploaded his asshole on Discord. Holman Brown 98.

What? Diego. I don't know, man. Did I say I was going to do that? I don't know, man. These are people. Diego Andres Hernandez. Hey, boss, can you follow me on Twitter, please?

Ray Luchesse, sorry. Avs are the most attractive part of a tomboy. Sloshy Scout, Atrosone, Tom Sweeney, the atrocious alien fucker. Please check out my podcast called How Did We Even Get Here? Every Thursday. Lerjankins, I'm not reading this nameless anymore. This is a bit of a tangent.

But I do like to eat out of a bowl on the ground every Thursday. What is that? Hard Hat skydiver, Chris Chandler. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian, absolute wagon, Lord Gavin, Paul Joseph Watson, seductively peeling what looks like a micro-banana. Ice-wallow comb. Ice-swallow comb. I hate this. Oh, it's ice-swallow comb. Nice. I just genuinely read it wrong. Oh, it did. Wow. I just, it did kick in for a second.

I was cock-blocked by a turtle. Alaskan oil field trash. Chris would be a twink if he grew up a little more Catholic, little short dick, not Ian Brandon Anderson, not an FBI agent, Juan Punchman, Marcus Shorten, Mr. Fuck,

Jim Crow's Daddy issues, Abusi, L.O.L. If I could step on that... Oh, my God. L.O.L. I could step on that dwarf Derek.

Papa Nurgle. Hassan Pikes. Halal Pecker. Danny DeVito's perfectly preserved penis. I let Paul touch me. Murder ascended. David Connoley.

The subject that feels Chris's pain. Dunderhead. Side note, the nameless is too long. I'm raising the price to $69. next week.

Levitomize Jesus is my drooling divine savior. Haiko. Moto zealot. Hey, you're finally awake. You're trying to cross the border, right? We're trying to get onto that imperial ambush, same as us. That's fantastic.

I love it. I love it, dude. Best fucking name. That's the number one. That's the number one, dude. You're a goat. That's the thing, man. It's all about keeping things fresh. You know, we read the same names every week, and if you can spice that shit up, I love that. I haven't read that in years.

They're finally away. Finally a naked nigger. Hiroshima spicy mushroom. Adam Corolla, sipping cola, sipping cola, sniffing yolas, banging cholas and shouting yolo, Grand Wizard of the Cool Kids Club, Derek's Unyielding Sex Drive, dummy thick Dave. Jesus Christ.

Heartless Wretch, aka the Black Man from Staten Island, Uncle Tony's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where today's loss is tomorrow's sauce. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yumme, come inside my tummy. Jolly old dipshit. Huggard Derek, the movie theater assistant. manager, Ethereum Mrs. Butthurt, McWamacunt, the Progerian hunter, deflated left ass cheek, all hands on dick,

Arrow, Sunny Chance, New Memphis 1, Nuclear Rone, Richter 86, and as always, King of Hephazard. Thank you all for your kind support of our little podcast for however long you've been supporting. A lot of you have been here for a long time. We appreciate that. Be sure to, be sure to, like, when this goes live, give us a little help, like the video on YouTube.

Please, please, please. Leave a review on iTunes. little bit helps. We've got merch it's a snark tank merch.com I believe so yeah. I have a Nintendo switch. Yes you do. It's look at how small it is in my

hands. This is freaking me out a little bit actually because I'm viewing it on my screen how like this is not supposed to be this small looking. It looks a really thing. It's a fake one and growing. It's a fake. Click and collect.

Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Yeah! Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming?

Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click-and-collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Success starts with your drive.

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