The Snark Tank - #66: We All Got Vaccinated and Survived!

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

Sweeny with Johnson and Johnson, Derrick with Pfizer, Chris with Moderna. Who will survive until the end of the episode? Would you eat elephants? Why are gibbons disgusting? Are jellyfish pests? Why is Sweeny not black enough? Chris has never seen a baby horse? All this and more on this VERY LATE episode of The Snark Tank Podcast! Spoiler: We all survived. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

At CVS, it matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At CBS, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So visit us at CVS.com or just come by your food. store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. Indeed sponsor jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Spend less time searching and more time actually

interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress. Less time. More results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsor job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Do your little ones have jam-packed schedules? Kit them out at done stores with a uniform that can keep up. Get joggers that will survive PE on the muddy pitches from just five euro and sweatshirts that will breeze through messy art projects from just three zero seventy-five. Pick up a comfy knitted school jumper from just three euro seventy-five and a three

pack of playproof polos from just five euro. Back to school. Dunn Stores. For little ones with big schedules, shop in store and online now, terms and conditions apply. Yo, I feel so fucking weird. I feel silly. I feel like I,

I feel like I just came out of like a comedy special that was real good, you know? Like, ah, ha, ha, I laugh so much, I'm sick now. But, hey everybody. That's pretty cool.

It's pretty cool. Welcome, uh, welcome to the snark tank. Uh, I just got vaccinated, so I feel really, funny. I don't know if it's real or if it's just like I'm just thinking about it too much

you know, because that tends to happen sometimes. But Oh yeah. But if I, you know, I may die by the end of this recording. I might die in the middle and they're just going to have to carry on and figure out how to get this shit edited and sorted. Sweeney's just going to have to learn how to manage things. I'm already

unfortunately. I'm already unfortunate on how to edit and that shit sucks. Premiere makes no sense to me. It makes no sense to me because I don't have a background on that. I all. It isn't fucking linear math. Linear math? Yes. What the hell are you talking about? Is there open world math?

There's linear math and there's nonlinear math. What's linear math? When you just do math like basic algebra is like, oh, this is straight up linear. I go from side to side and nonlinear is when you do certain things that points like pendass and shit. Oh, so it's like a crossword puzzle kind of. Yeah, mathematically, yes. Yeah.

With editing, is that what you're saying? Yeah, editing is this doesn't make sense to me. I feel like, you know what's interesting about that? I feel like editing is like the most accessible it's ever been. Not only because like all these, all these, um, like editing softwares are just like freely available to everybody, but because like TikTok in and of itself is, is just an editor, really. Like you can like, Vine was more record stop, record stop. It was more like, that's like how I learned how to edit when I was a kid and I would like,

oh, how do I cut? and it's just like oh you have to like record then like walk up to the camera stop recording then like rewind to a point where you want to cut and then start recording from there and it was like just really like rudimentary editing but like TikTok I feel like I feel like probably I don't even think this is an understatement I think probably like 80% of like young adults probably know how to edit now in some in some way which is fucking weird um I would say just on the in the app format or say like portrait but if you sat them in front of like a program like if you gave them like uh some type of editing program they would be like what the

fuck do i do just because yeah it's it's a little it's it's it's just basically the interfaces are so different in that aspect and even for like say if you give specific things like if you have like a photoshop on your phone it's very different from having Photoshop just on like a computer it's fucking i hate editing on the phone i hate it so much it's fucking awful yeah no it's disgusting it's why I can't grasp TikTok at all. Like, like, I, if, I, like, I could make good TikToks, but I can't use that, that fucking editor, or, or just, like, the way that they, uh, and I understand how to do it. And that's, but that's the thing.

It's like, I feel like, they would probably still not know how to use the interface of Premiere. If, if, if, if, if you threw it in front of, like, your average, like, zoomer, they probably wouldn't, they would have no fucking clue. But, absolutely not. They would definitely have. I feel like they would be more likely to figure it out or to be able to figure it out

than people who just don't fuck with TikTok at all. Yeah. The best thing is, is people always ask me about certain things and my answer is always the same. It's check YouTube. Your answer will always be on YouTube. 99.9% of the time if you need to know how to do something, like, oh, I don't know how to do this

and I look it up and some asshole put it on there. How to get away with domestic abuse? I mean, I'm talking about editing, but it's probably there. But I would say when it comes to crimes, I would never take any of their advices because they probably don't know what the fuck they're talking about. That's just a person confessing on video basically. Like he's going to prison immediately after that. I mean, maybe. So all of us are vaccinated in some degree.

Do we all have just the first shot, I guess? I took Johnson and Johnson. I'm completely vaccinated. Damn, we all got different ones. That's hilarious. Dan, you got the fucking... You got the recalled one. Yeah, dude.

I got the recalled one. That's hilarious. Is that the blood caught and blood caught one? Yeah. Yeah. It's like the one that gave six people in a million blood clots and now it's like that's the thing, though. It's not, that's such a... It's fucked up to say, but I mean, that's such a small fucking number.

Oh, it's a small number. but it's still a number, you know. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. And you know how people complain about everything, you know, so it's like, I get it. I feel like it's unreasonable to, just because when it comes to, like, say, aspirin, for example, the amount of people that die from aspirin from having a bad reaction because they just can't take it, and it's still on the market, it's still fine. Like, it's still, you know, I feel like maybe just because of the panic, it's something that they had to do. Oh, yeah. Right.

Yeah. I don't know. Like, I feel like six, I don't know. The good thing about the Johnson and Johnson and Johnson has been tested on every strain. That's the good thing about that vaccine. I know the Pfizer one was not tested on every string. Yeah, the Pfizer.

The Pfizer seems to be like the best one overall. Like, that seems to be like the fucking Louis Vuitton of vaccines. It's like that's the high-end vaccine. And then like Johnson and Johnson is like the bodega vaccine. and Moderna is just sort of like you know you pick it up at like Best Buy or something or you order it on Amazon it's not particularly high end but really accessible I guess

so you got Johnson and Johnson Derek got Pfizer I got Moderna so we have all of the we're perfect case study for this we're all only on the first one right I only get one oh yeah you only get one oh yeah yours is one yeah

and I feel fantastic now I'm just chilling I'm just waiting to be able to go outside. Yeah. What are you waiting for? Because it usually takes two weeks. It's like, let it, like, set in your body for like two weeks. You see if, like, everything will be, actually be fine, and I'm going on the week right now, so.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Fair enough. It's weird that we're kind of here. Like, I didn't even know that I was getting one, uh, like, two days ago. Like, they just sort of, like, called me up and they were like, oh, hey, go to JCPenney and get your vaccine. I was like, what?

One sec, dude, wait, wait. Sorry, we're going to have to cut this. Smokey just called me and heard the thing just popped up in front of the thing. Oh, damn it. Oh. It's going to be there. You got to do not disturb, man. Strange women calling you.

She's a strange woman. I think every girl, every girl I've dated has been at least, at least a little fucking crazy. I actually don't, I think I've only had one truly, truly crazy acts. Like, I wouldn't say Lily's crazy, but I would say she's definitely like, she gets a little buck wild sometimes, you know. I'm just like, damn. Buck Wild. Buck Wild is the name of a contestant on I Love New York. Yes, it is.

Or was it flavor of love? Why the fuck do you guys know that? Why do you know that? I don't know. Because that's the only time I've ever heard that word was in that show and never again after that. So he said it and I just got like VH1 flashbacks of just these like horrible people. God help me.

I fucking hate the way my brain retains information that I will know. Never, like, I, there are some times where it's like, oh, fuck, what's my social? Or like, ah, fuck, I got to remember, like, uh, like really important tax shit. And I just don't remember it. I can't remember what the fuck I bought. I can't remember exactly like what, you know, accounts are tied to what. I can't remember my passwords. But I remember Buck Wild from fucking, from 2008 in, on fucking I Love New York or flavor

of love or whatever the fuck show she was on. That's so rude. But that's also the correct year. I'm going to be, like, angry at you just for knowing that deep. I think it's that deep. Even so, like, even like Bopper, like, oh, like, I remember this pretty fucking vividly. I remember it too. Fuck Wild was so dope.

I remember Rock of Love, too. Fuck Wild was, was, that shit was, dude, those, oh my God, the show was so fucking bad. So it was flavor of love. So I was, I was wrong. I was right. What the, what was up with? Flavor Flav is the ugliest human on the planet. Like unequivable.

Like, he just hands down, I've never seen an ugly human. And this fucking fake-ass show where all these women want to get, oh, New York or whatever, she really wants to get with, get the fuck out of here. They're probably all vomiting. And they had to take cut all the time. They're like, we have to stitch this together so badly because people can't stop throwing up. Derek, you don't know what money. Money makes people attractive.

He didn't have any fucking money? Fairfley, yeah, he did. Flavreflav had like $5, dude. Nobody with real money has a show on VH1. Except for Ray Jays. It's just, look, hold on, hold on. That entire channel is dedicated to, like, just taking people who used to have money

and trying to milk their fan bases for money. It's like, they don't have money. Like, Brett Michaels, isn't sitting like having lunch with fucking Kanye and fucking, you know, just Elon Musk. Like Brett Michaels is on VH1 running some fucking brothel. Brett Michael was wicking up in brothel. He was shooting up heroin at a truck stop and then they asked him, hey man, I feel really bad for you. Would you like a few dollars and a place to stay to be on VH1?

And he's like, oh, thank you, Jesus. This is the call that I've been waiting for. This was the sign I've been praying every day. And the same thing with fucking Flavreflav where he was chilling and fucking Skid Row fighting off homeless people just to hold on to his clock. And then finally, some fucking Silicon Valley hipster was strolling down because you know how they like to do that. The fucking Silicon Valley hipsters always go to Skid Row. You always just see a sea of bums and then these tall, skinny white people. that are strolling through it.

Anytime you go, it's fucked up. Those are brave people. They're brave because they're completely oblivious to the danger. They see it as a museum. That's bravery. It is. But it's like they don't understand the danger they're in. You're right.

I can't argue with that. Then they saw flavor, flavor. I'm like, oh shit, dude, I think I remember you from a, was it NWA? I don't remember.

And then they gave them a show. You know what's crazy to me? Imagine living. a life where you purposely every week, you train and you go down to fucking skid row and fight them. Like, that's your lifestyle. That's the, like, that's your Friday night. Like, you put on your most disheveled shit.

You hold on to a loaf or bread kind of loose so someone like tries you for it. And then you battle all night. And you don't always win. But every day you go. you come back with a little more knowledge and your technique. You see, how did you learn to fight?

People like, uh, people like, people like flavor aren't even rich enough to be that inhumane to the poor. I'm pretty sure he's worth a bit of money, dude.

No, but worth and has are very different things. But you can always have your worth and money though. You can always have your worth. Let's see what is you fake network is. You could, but people's net worth doesn't really mean like they have this much money.

That's true. You know, let's see what it means. what is fake, I want to see what his fake network is net worth is $2 million, so he probably doesn't even have $2 million, so I would say

That's like a good gambler That's like not even like That's not because you think about No hold on really though Like because you look at VH1 shows and it's like Celebrity Fit Club and you're like Okay I wonder what celebrities are on Celebrity Fit Club and it's

Nobody you care or recognize Nobody you care about it The most famous person I ever saw on Celebrity Fit Club Was Dustin Diamond Screech from Saved by the Bell Did he die? And that was it

He died recently Yeah Along with I think it was him and Dr. Drew died in the same day You know it's crazy He had a boxing match and he fucked somebody up Screech? Yeah

It was right around the time He released that fucking dirty Sanchez porn You remember that? Yeah They brought it up on the They brought it up on the, on Celebrity Foot Club

when he was on, I remember that. He was in a porno? Yeah, yeah, well, he had a sex tape. I don't think it was like a,

I wouldn't say like he joined brazers. I think it was a real porn. Like, I don't even think it was a sex tape because it was called saved by the smell. Like it was like the, like the name of the title of it and everything. Let's,

let's verify that. That's so stupid. He ruined his, he ruined his fucking, he ruined his, that's what he's known for now. He ruined it for everybody. Fucking Mario Lopez is like,

why would you do that to me, Amigo? He tanked everybody's career with it. All right. Okay, I think you're right. I think it then he just, it was just a sex tape, but then he packaged it as, like, like a porn. Yeah, yeah, he made a sex tape,

it got out, and then he just decided to sell it, which is honestly a pretty baller move. Like, you do, he's fucking, why not? Why not at that point? But, oh, he also killed somebody. He stabbed somebody. In self-defense? Yeah, like at a boy.

That's fine. Okay, yeah, whatever. I thought it was like a Matthew Broderick situation. Nope. That guy's Simba, though. I don't care. He's Simba. He killed somebody, so what?

Mufaso is watching. Look, man. Look, man, I would be blessed to be killed, murdered, maimed, fucking destroyed, obliterated, sent to the fucking spiraling afterlife by Inspector Gadget. Look, if Matthew Brodered my family, I'd be like, dang. That's crazy. Akuna Matata. Damn, that's crazy. Go-Go-Gadget plastic bags.

Yo, go-go-Gadgett Crematorium. Go-Go-Gadgett duffel bags to hide evidence. He describes every... Go-Go-Go-Gadgett duffel bags with which to hide evidence of homicide. Ferris Bueller's day off to the fucking cemetery because he killed my family. Burris Bueller got off Poor fuck Yeah, right? That's got to suck

It's got a way on you. You're like, man I would hate to know that I'm that directly involved You know? Yeah Because I think about like the Yeah, yeah I think it was No, no, no, I think he He hit one of those like boost pads

On the highway Yeah, I think he was, wasn't it If I remember correctly he was wait wait actually wait wait wait isn't it I don't want to get my stories mixed up but I think he was like

overseas right he was like now you're thinking of Mr. Hans what the fuck are you talking about that's how Mr. Hans died right he got fucked by an overseas horse no no no no that wasn't an American horse that was definitely an American horse

you could tell by the Figure it had it was in American words. I don't even know what's happening anymore. Is there even technically a... Well, I guess there is because of the hybrids and stuff. Like there are American horses because, like, they brought horses. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200, flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You know, from like, would the only ones be technically American horses if they were just bred, and now it's technically an American horse because...

There were horses in America too, Derek. The Native Americans had horses. The Spanish gave them horses. They gave them horses? Yes, the Spanish brought over horses to Mexico and then they got horses that way. Like horses aren't like, say, yeah, horses aren't native to the Americas, from my understanding.

Now, some... They're native to Northern Europe, right? They're dated to Northern Europe. That's where they're from. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But I want to verify that. even though I'm pretty like sure, I still need to verify that because I don't want a... But do you guys...

I'm sure you caught some of this. When we were talking about Prince Corpse, like we were calling him Charles last time. Instead of Philip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we were wrong. It was Philip. Yeah, like, nobody just... Nobody caught it. Like, we...

There were some people who were like, they called him Charles the whole time, and we didn't have the heart to tell him. but whatever man he's dead now by the way he's dead now by the way he's rest in peace he died with DMX

yeah apparently what happened is they went out together in an all out brawl yeah they fought essentially DMX was he came out of jail

for a sole mission and it was to defeat Prince Philip he punched him once and then caught he caught whatever he had. Ex-go! Give it to you!

The fucking plague just shot off his face. That came out of fucking... Yeah, for real, though, that came out of fucking nowhere. Like, what the hell was that? What DMX? That was like the... No, DMX.

Obviously Prince Philip. Prince Philip was on his way out. I'm not even convinced Prince Philip has been alive this whole time. That nigga looked like a droger dog. He looked like a fucking... He was like a droger that could shout. He was a droger before

But then through time He was like I gotta get with the times I'm gonna fit in as a ghoul Because fallouts now in He's just been fucking He's just going through time dude There's a Go ahead

Hold on hold on Did you guys hear that thing Apparently that Prince Philip said Like the only words he ever spoke To an Aboriginal person in Australia Have you read the story? Yes I saw that asked the only words that he asked were like do you guys still throw spears at each other

and that was it those are the only words he's ever spoken yo i like this guy i like this guy dude he's savagely racist he i mean he fucks his cousin i mean he just he doesn't give a fuck who'd have thought who'd have thought that that's the thing it's like a lot of people were like did you know he's did you know prince philip was was not uh modern and progressive it's like wow Did you know this man that was raised in a royal family that is famous for stripping the rights from people that looked different from them was racist? You know what? Did you know that this man who is older than women's right to vote? Did you know that he isn't exactly like?

I'm sure he had two like East Indians as shoes. Like he just took Indian He was on the phone He was on the phone with Nixon and Reagan When they were having that conversation Flaming black people He was like, don't forget about the Indians blokes Don't forget about the curry flavored blokes

They're terrible too There's something about British racism That is hilarious I don't know what yet What is it about that That it's not quite as like For some reason when I think of like American racism

I picture it like particularly volatile and like particularly like evil. But like British, it's just like, oh yeah, obviously. The thing about British racism is the poshness. The thing about British racism that's funny is that British people are such a joke physically. Like they're just such a joke. It's like like really think of it. Like really think about it. Like I'm about to say some fuck shit.

It's a fuck shit. But when I was in the UK, the British people I saw there were some of the most pathetic-looking humans. At 16 years old, I was like, these people look like children. I could run amok through this city. How did they get slaves? How did they win wars? Well, that's everything. That's everything.

Everybody's getting smaller and more feeble. Like the fact that it's kind of, it's kind of what, like, I guarantee you in a hundred years we're going to look like grays. We're all going to look like a fucking, the destroy all humans alien. It's going to be small, frail, skinny, and big-headed. Your kin, my kin is not going to get that. No, I'm going to procreate with, uh, with a, with like a Russian bodybuilder who's like six foot, uh, 10 to even things out. A six foot 10 woman just sounds like a bad time. Six foot that sounds terrifying.

That sounds like a bad time, bro. Yeah. I feel you though, man. How are you going to intimidate her doing what you want? If she's a 6 foot 10, she's bigger than you. That just sounds like, wow, yeah. How does that work? You know, at the timidary, and she'd be like, hey. I haven't thought of that before or anything.

Aren't you just like the Christopher? He used to be like, hey, I'm Chris Reagan and I fucking make music. And then she'll literally just, she's already ovulating. Like she's, she's ready right then and there. And then you just, from a distance, just, you know, spray a little bit of, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know how babies are made. You know, I play Shadow of the Colossus. I can figure it out. It's not a big fucking deal.

I can figure out a tall. woman. I played shadow Colossus. That is so disrespectful to tall women Fuck that Shut the fuck up You see that show That show on Netflix

That Netflix show That's literally just tall girl It's called tall girl And the premise is this girl Has a hard time being tall Ooh poor thing Find a tall person There's plenty of tall people

There's a whole sports leagues dedicated to tall people Fucking find someone But they might want a tall girl though Every basketball player is married To a moderately size woman Is that for Shack? Shack?

No, Shaq His wife is like Lily's height what is it what yes she's like five foot three yeah but shack's a gargoyle like he's not gonna find anybody like appropriately sized

I mean he could he could at least shack is Keith David and gargoyle he's like fucking golias no who's who's Goliath Keith David from Gargoyle

no no no no that's just Keith David you're very right idiot fucking her It's actually so disrespectful. Just completely like ignore his work as other characters. It's like, yeah, so like, I've done this character and this character.

It's like, no, you're Keith David. You've been Abbot. You've only been Arbiter. That's it. No, you've only been Keith David. He was Keith David and Halo as well. None of this fucking I play a character shit. Your Keith David, own it.

Stop playing with me. If I get you off this fucking set, Keith David. That's fucking. I wish they would just like make him Keith David and everything he's ever done You didn't keep David once or something right? And he was Keith David and yeah the fourth one Yeah

He just Keith David as himself It's pretty good After years of being After years of being Keith David That's one of the things about that game franchise We're like I don't really particularly like Saints Row I think it's kind of janky and doesn't play particularly well But

They were ahead of the curb man They understood what we came to understand only somewhat recently, which is that, you know, this is a man, this is a god amongst men and he should, he should be, he should be credited for being himself, quite frankly. There's no reason. I don't know why he plays anyone else. I don't know why he isn't in everything. I don't know why he's not like legitimately president. He could be if he literally just want to run. Oh yeah. I'm cute David. I want to be president. And then people are okay.

He doesn't need a platform either. He could just Go up there and just speak. Serious question. Serious question, guys. If a policy, like, let's say, so you know we had the Regans that were movie stars that shouldn't have been president that was a president, right? But let's just say in 2030-something, Dwayne O'Rock Johnson runs a president, right? Yeah.

And he's very, very knowledgeable about foreign affairs. He has a very good cabinet like preset. He knows what he's talking about. His debates go very well. He's respectful yet stern. Would you vote for Dwayne to Rock Johnson if he actually like... You didn't even need to say any of that. I'd vote for him already.

Dang. See, this is a problem. It depends on who... It depends on who's running against him. This is, you can't just have a hypothetical election in a backing. Let's say he's running against Donald Glover. Exactly. I would actually...

I would just because I'm actually, I'm a pretty big fan of Dwayne Johnson, the person. not just The Rock. I'm a fan of the Rock as a kid. But then growing up and then following his career and stuff that he's done, accomplishments and his, like, his thoughts about a lot of things. And he's actually, I would say he's very, he's a very center left person. And I pretty much any take that he's had, and, you know, I don't know him personally, but anything that's online, he's always seen like a sound and rational and reasonable person.

And I'm like, cool, that's all I can hope for. for with the mountains of garbage we've had. We've just had garbage continuously. That's true. And so I'm like, that to me is better than just, oh, everybody having fucking amnesia. Or it's like, oh, we're going to, we're going to let's, I like what Biden's saying now. I'm like, yeah, but this guy's been a piece of shit throughout his political career. So why are you voting for him?

Well, he just, he's saying some nice things now. And I'm like, okay. So can I beat this shit out of you and then come back a few years later and be able to like just pretend like everything's cool? Like, what the fuck? What is this? What that fuck is wrong with people, man? Don't give that man his coat.

Don't give him his jacket. Don't you, don't you do that. That was, it's so funny because that was insane at the time. And if that were to happen now, it'd be like, ah, you know. No one would think twice about that. There's so many news stories that, like, fly by that should be, like, really groundbreaking that nobody cares about. Like, do you remember that fucking Galactic Federation thing that was like trending for like a day and no one cared about it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of look at it in. That's amazing that that's your reaction to that. Ah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The Galactic Federation. Oh, yeah. The Galactic Federation, bro. If there was, those niggas wouldn't come here. They wouldn't come here. They wouldn't come. They would probably, they would probably like.

send a bunch of prank calls. They check the DMs. We'd be like, we'd say the equivalent to them. We're like, yo, let me see your fucking bear asshole. And they'd be like, ah, chill out. These guys and let them be on their own. Dude, they know we're here. They know we're here.

They just, they don't want to fuck with us. Nobody in the universe wants to fuck with us. That's why we're all like, I mean, yeah, we love ourselves. I mean, we're going to pull up. We're going to pull up one day. They're going to not be ready. We're going to pull up with our fucking. unsophisticated bullshit radiation guns

and they're going to be like, yo, why would you bring that? Dude, you know how dangerous that is? And you're like, you holding that is a liability. What are you doing? Bro, if you drop that, they like come with some cosmic knowledge. It's like, did you know that every time you hold something sharp,

your life decreases 10 minutes? Like, what the, what? That's a, that's part of, that's like, that's just part of, that's just part of it. That's just part of an equation that like your eyes aren't even evolved to see. Do you even understand that every single time you ejaculate? You are genuinely. And I kid you not decreasing your life by 25%.

Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open, our call center is always waiting to take call 24 7 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Do you understand? What? I would imagine how quick.

I would have been dead so long ago. Wait, hold on, hold on. This is a, hold on. This is a fascinating premise because the implication here is that humanity could live hundreds of thousands of years, but none of us do. because we get off so much that we decrease it to fucking 70 or like 80 or like fucking 10

some of us apparently. 7. 7? So you're saying that Prince Philip fucking beat off and then he finally He didn't beat off that much because he was fucking his sister. And he didn't sure. What's sir?

Are you talking about it's just masturbation? No no, it's ejaculation period. It's ejaculation. He's like you potentially had the power. He's trying to inform us we had the power to live for so much longer. We could have done so much with the world. Dude,

that's a lot. We'd be so, I mean, I can't even quantify how long, just like thinking how long I would have lived versus, or like say somebody that I know that like has a fucking problem that like beats off like multiple times per day of like, how the fuck are you not dead,

bro? It doesn't even make sense. You know what's crazy? But now. Okay, here's another hypothetical. This is what is crazy. but it's hilarious.

What if an alien species came here? They were objectively like well-in-hands. They were like, you guys know

if you guys killed off every single cat on the planet, the planet would repair itself and the resource were replenish. You killed off every cat. Every three years,

all the resources expanded for the planet. It's just a fucking Easter egg. It's just a glorified, like, oh, did you know if you go to this point on the map and this point in the map like a fucking SUV spawns

in fucking Utah or whatever the fuck? Some. And he's just like, you got to kill off every cat. You got to exterminate them. I'd be like, bro, give me a, give me, just give me boots and I'll do it. I wouldn't, I wouldn't do the effort. I would do it. I wouldn't go through the effort.

Aren't cats? Cats aren't helpful. Wouldn't cats be like a, uh, huh? Cats aren't helpful. We're going to have a fuck ton of rats, bro. What he's talking about. Yeah. Or whatever.

Rats are uniquely unhelpful, Kingston, in the sense that they have the potential to, you know, decrease our population by a lot if given the right circumstances. You know what's crazy? Like I feel like cats kill rats but like not like I live I lived in the city dude I've seen rats kill cats like I've witnessed that happened before like I saw like three rats kill a cat and I was sad. I was like oh no but those are those are

first world like modern cats fighting against city strength rats usually usually like a good cat's gonna fucking murk a rat No it's gonna murk a mouse A cat will kill a mouse I don't think cats are killing rats like that If you got a good cat It'll kill it'll kill her

I've seen cats kill rats I've seen it too But I've seen I saw a cat once Break a rat's neck In a subway I'm pretty sure that's what it looked like anyway Because it was dead when it stopped

But You know they're capable man Cats are surprisingly nimble. It's just the babyed ones, the ones that are like, oh, come me and mommy. Yeah, the house cats. They're fucked of the guy. House cats fucked. House cats are going to get like a mouse or like some roaches maybe.

But like... I've seen cats circle a mouse and it's slapping, bro. This all of them like in unison and they're all hitting it at the same time and no cats hitting another cat. They're just hitting the mouse. Chickens do that too. Chickens will like eviscerate mice. like for no reason

because they're fucking dinosaurs still fucking savage. I love them. I love seeing animals do really really just fucking ghetto nigger shit because it's just like they're like us too. They just act like we just don't respect them enough but they do shit we do.

I hate when people are like really comfortable in their ignorance in the sense that they're like oh man evolution's not real and yet they see a chicken like fucking eviscerate a mouse for no reason even though they don't fucking do that. They exist just to be eaten at this point, but it's still got that, like,

inherent fucking programming from Jurassic Park in them where they just got to swerve around shit and peck a mouse to death? What is that? Like, how do you look at that and not understand? How do you look at it into a bonobo's eyes and not see yourself looking back? You know?

I've seen wolves. I've seen wolves kid, like, cat snatch up baby bears, and the mama bear looks at the wall. The mama bear runs after the wolves and it can't catch the wolf and the wolf turn around and look at her with the baby and it smouth and run off again

because they're making fun of it. They're like, ha-ha. That's really fucked up. Ha-ha, I got you did. Do you guys, do you guys know what a gibbon is? Yeah. They're really disgusting. They're really noisy ones, right?

They're really noisy ones, right? They're noisy apes. They're monkeys with frog throats. Yeah. I didn't even know that was a thing. They're really noisy apes. Hell of noisy. That's not the thing that bothers me.

The thing that bothers me is that they can fucking make their disgusting neck. They can blow their neck into a giant bubble, and it looks like translucent. Looks like you could pop the fucking thing. What is that? Yeah, it needs to be popped. What the fuck?

Isn't that gross? Isn't that just like a heinous creation? No, that's not that bad. I hate that fucking, I don't know. There's something about that. That's so non-primate, you know what I mean? That's such a goddamn, like, reptilian or, like, amphibian thing to do. That, like, imagine...

That's like if... It's like if a person re-grew their leg in, like, a day, you know? You'd be like, ah, that's like interesting, but also wrong. Everything about that is wrong. This is the wrong answer to the equation. A player plus B squared does not equal Q, man. Like, that's fucking... You're doing it wrong.

But the thing is that that's... Gibbons are really nice and respectful. What... Who says that? They're really, really friendly apes. Yeah, they're only friendly because they can't speak to us. Well, that's everything, bro. What the fuck you mean?

You think your little-ass dog will be respectful to you? Your dog will call you everything with a fucking son. It'll be like, you fucking idiot bitch. You stupid poor rick and pussy, bitch. Give me my fucking food, I'll kill you. I don't know how yet. No, dogs don't do that. Dogs are too stupid to hate, you know.

Chris, how can you say that when dogs kill children, dude? That's stupid they hate. What dogs kill children? That doesn't happen. Sometimes it's angry dogs. Some dogs are just vexed. They have their own problems. They bring it to the household, and then they end up killing children sometimes.

Some Chihuahua Some Chihuahua has a hard day, comes back, shakes on a kid until he fucking goes radioactive He shakes on him He lays on the kid and shakes on it to the kid Fucking gets sick That's all Chihuahua's do is that they shake He shakes on him to the kid's unstable physically

Like molecularly unstable Then a kid gets sick You know I was thinking about recently I don't think I've ever really seen a baby horse that wasn't a photograph. You know? Like, I've seen ponies, and I've seen, like, full-grown horses.

But, like, I don't think I've ever seen, like, a full, like a baby horse, like a proper, like, what the fuck does a newborn horse look like? You never seen it, newborn horse? Tendral toes. I don't think so. Do they just look like horses? Well, yes, but then there are no hooves

look fucking terrifying. Oh, I've seen their feet, but, like, I've never seen, like, a new... Ew. I've seen a baby horse. They look silly. Ew, they look so fucking half-hearted. They look silly.

It looks like such a half-ass creation. They look like the, they look like... They look like silly horses. They look like silly horses. Yeah, they look at carousel horse. Yeah, because they don't look off enough that you wouldn't understand that it was a horse, but they still look kind of like wrong.

Oh, that's so weird. I always thought ponies were baby horses. That was what I grew up thinking. I was like, oh, obviously. Really? Yeah, like, what the fuck am I going to? I realized what ponies were when I asked for a horse. And my grandma was like, little horses aren't ponies.

They're fons. And I was like, are fools. And I was like, what do you mean? Because I wanted a horse when I was a little, like, really badly. Really? Yeah, I really wanted a horse. You were a horse girl? I was a horse.

I just wanted a horse because I watched, I watched Spirit when I was little. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think any guy I've ever known has ever wanted a horse. Well, I mean, I'm sure dudes in the South that. grow up around ranches and shit. Oh yeah, so they can fuck them? I'm not talking about those people.

I saw fucking horse jerky online. What? Yeah, I was just looking for like good beef jerky. And then one of the things that came up but showed Buffalo jerky and then it showed horse jerky and then I clicked on to see what the hell even because I was like, I don't even know

what the fuck horse meat looks like. And it's just like, it's like kind of dark. And then it was just like, it made me thinking, like what the fuck? What the horse tastes like? Would you? I remember what? Would you eat horse?

Absolutely not. I wouldn't, I wouldn't eat it, like, say, if somebody had, like, a piece of horse turkey, I'd try it. But it's not, like, something that I'd go out of my way to, like, order it and, like, let me have some of that shit. I'm not that, I'm not that interested in, I don't eat a ton of meat as it is anyways, but, so I don't really have the desire to try to munch on every animal possible. Because I know some people like that, they're just like, oh, fuck it.

Yeah, like I just tried some bear and some fucking, oh shit, the last pterodactyl is here. Like, fucking just got a little bit of piece of it. You know, like, shit like that. People get crazy with it. And I'm like, I'm fine with the basic stuff we have in the store. You know, I don't really need a fucking switchball. Yeah. I love horses too much.

They're like one of my favorite animals. I mean, you can love anything if you're around them enough. I mean, animals are pretty fucking dope. Like, I like horses. I don't eat lambs anymore because lamb one is delicious. but two lambs are so sweet that I just try not to eat them. Success starts with your drive, an American public university is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to $22, $23. after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact

with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. office near you. It's like someone telling me to eat elephant. I could I would rather die than eat an elephant actually. Well, elephants don't look appealing at all. Yeah. That's definitely a lot of food. I feel like, oh, big meal, massive meal. Yeah. I look at it as almost too big to be edible. You know, it's like, oh, look,

Grand Central Station. Like, I don't, I don't think delicious. Like, I think, oh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's just a big mass of like non-edible material. I, Can you even eat elephant? I'm sure in some parts of the world you can. Definitely. It's a mammal. It's a freaking quadripetic mammal. We mustn't eat that shit.

I hate that that thing is a mammal. I don't see myself in an elephant at all. That's not the same thing, you dumbass. I don't see myself in an elephant. Yeah, but like there are so many, so are dogs, bro. I see myself in dogs. You're stupid. Dogs have human eyes.

No, they don't. Yeah, they do. You ever see that picture? dog with like the sad human eyes and it's like real it's not even like all that dog that's like looking over the looking over the camera that looks like everything but a dog yeah man they're you can you can empathize with a dog because there's like some there's some commonality there but like an elephant an elephant they look elephants are fucking they they got people emotions and shit elephants are the size of your entire lineage put together they're they've got fucking

noses that they use to eat with and like pick things up with. They're the furthest thing from a person that you could possibly put on paper. No, they're not. A dolphin is the furthest thing from a person. No, actually, a dolphin's pretty close. Maybe like an ant or like an insect or something. Or a mushroom. What?

I guess a mushroom is definitely not a person. No, we share 99% of our DNA with mushrooms. No, we don't. We do. You maniac. You should like, maybe like 12%. There was that guy who got the fucking Johnson and Johnson vaccine who like disintegrated into a mushroom. He turned into one small mushroom.

One tiny portabella mushroom. One tiny mushroom. It's just the most generic kind too. I just looked it up. The comb jelly, a jellyfish is the furthest thing from us. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense.

We were talking about that in the last episode. You weren't here for it. But we were talking about like I was dead right yeah Did you did you did you know everyone calling me right now sorry guys give me a second Oh my god you animal you have a put yourself on do not to stir I literally thought I did and someone just like I'm just gonna call again give me one set guys I'm sorry I gotta have to I got to minimize shit We're gonna have to edit over this part sorry guys sweet swine fumbled I'm sorry you I'm just gonna put I'm gonna put what what What footage should I put over this?

I'll put nature documentary footage Oh yeah It should be The guy fucking punching a kangaroo That was The kangaroo was attacking this dude's dog Yeah He came up and punches the kangaroo in the face

Yeah let's pretend to react to it Whoa Well that's crazy Look at him He's just walking up to that kangaroo oh look They're squaring off Wow Can't believe you would actually do that

Good Man's best friend right Am I right Yeah kangaroos guys you know honestly Franks how do I put myself on do not disturb

uh just pick you put a rope around your neck oh my god that's that's you know how to do not return the sender go to the bottom left

click the little fucking green icon next to your name and then it'll give you options on what to put yourself on that was sort of hidden I didn't know that'd be I'm gonna eat a little bit of horse jerky while we're waiting. A little bit of horse meat. A little bit of meatiest meat. That looks like a piece of my house.

Yeah, I don't know. Did you know that, because this was news to me that jellyfish become fucking sea anemones? Not anemones, but they become like, they become some sort of. creatures and ocean. They become like fucking sea sponges or some shit. Like some fucking, they become coral or some fucking nonsense.

Through, like, what? Just like, like, fossil, fossilizing or? No, like life. No, they're normal. They're normal. Hold on.

Let me look it up. Life cycle. Of a jellyfish. They become like other, they, theoretically, jellyfish are immortal. So they become,

uh, they become polyps, which are these, like, plants. They basically look like fucking plants. They're just like burrowed in the ground. I hate it.

Like I didn't know this. This is not... Blows your mind. Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes. He's learning. Look, you see? I didn't know that either.

His mind just got ripped open. I just thought they're just pest and they sting you and shit. They're not pet. Jellyfish aren't pests. They're pest of the sea. Jelly fish are pests. They're fucking... You walk into your basement.

It's like, ah, I got stuck. My fucking jellyfish. God damn it. They like, Slurp around. You've never been, had your house fumigated for jellyfish.

Yo, that is, you're telling me you've never had that. That is some genuinely insane shit, dude. What would the pest of the C.E.

I guess plankton, right? Or something like that? No, not plankton. They don't bother anybody. What? Yeah, they do.

No, they're just they don't even there. Hold on. Hold on. But bother is subjective, right? Because ants technically don't bother anybody.

They're just, they're just exist. And they just exist. Brow. Ants steal your shit, literally. What do they got to burst

into your fridge They would if they could. They would take your hand. So they shan't. They take your hand. They'll take your ham and you'll tell them stop and they'll be like, no. And they'll keep marching. They'll take the whole thing, bro.

They'll take the whole thing. And then they'll fucking suck it down their fucking little ant hill like it's loony tunes. You ever seen that shit, dude? It's fucking wild. They don't do that though. So they're not really a nuisance. They're not really. They are.

Dude, are you fucking serious? My old room, I'm so glad not in there anymore because they'll just start scouting a suit. If I ever bring, and it's always, I eat in my fucking room. But I throw my food out immediately. But the smell immediately, they're like, oh, it's dinner time, son. Jackpot. And they start scouting. And like, there's nothing there for them because they only smell it.

They only get to smell. And there's nothing for them to take. But they're still showing up. And I'm like, get the fuck out of my room. So your contention, the thing that makes ants so bothersome is that they come in. into your room and clean up the food that you leave behind. Oh, they clean up the food. Yeah, fucking days later, bitch, it would take them forever for them to.

If they were actually going to clean it up, it would take forever. They just... But you're missing the point. The point is what's bothersome is that they're there. It doesn't matter if, like, spiders are helpful, right? They get rid of, like, other bugs. It's still... They're cool.

They're still pests. They're still a nuisance. I wouldn't say spiders are. pest but yeah I guess what the fuck what are you talking about? If you had an infestation of spiders you wouldn't like you wouldn't have you wouldn't be like oh let me get let me take care of this I'd be like let me just let them I'll give them

their neck of the woods you give me theirs and then we'll try to Charlotte's we'll try to Charlotte's web our conversation well hopefully it writes words on the fucking webs we could talk it out spiders are like the most harmful spiders are technically the most threatening pests that you could have because they could bite you

and send you to the hospital and can't do that and it's just going to bite you and probably like move on Or like a mosquito might give you malaria or something if you're sitting on the Nile. It might give you Sika and you can't. Your fucking kids are going to be born off fucking with a bunch of water in their heads. I get, I get, I get,

I get, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He given birth to a fucking gallon of Poland spring. A water balloon head-ass fucking baby. You have to make him cry to drain it. You got to fucking put you got a fucking put you got a, You know what they got to do? You got to put a towel over your baby's head and put it under the thing at the salon.

So it fucking drains his head out. You got to fill his head with rice. Put your baby in this fucking pot of rice. Put your baby's bed in this right. Is that what malaria is? That's not malaria. What is it? That imagery.

It's some sort of South American virus that like if you get bit by, mosquitoes, you can have a baby, like I have a bunch of water in its head. I shouldn't be laughing, but it's just such a specific... No, it's funny. It's funny. You're laughing it. It's funny. It was just the funniest image I think I've ever seen. But, okay, I don't even remember what we're talking about. No, what makes pests a nuisance isn't necessarily what they do. It's just the fact that there's a lot of them and they're just kind of annoying. Like, they don't actually have to be doing a lot of.

like any amount of damage to be considered pests. Yeah, absolutely. It's like if you had, it's like if dogs kept appearing in your room like every couple minutes. That's amazing. You'd be like, what the fuck? No, it's not. That's endless friendship. That's endless friendship.

Well, you're out of your fucking mind. The definition of pest existed before like you can pester somebody being a pest before before it was, there was just like an infestation of something, right? Yeah. So absolutely ants or just something, an abundance of something being there can absolutely be a pest and you would want it fucking dealt with. That's why I hate ants the most because there's so many of them.

And cleaning them up if you have carpet is extremely upsetting. Do they go in a carpet? They dig in. They're like, all in there and then so, like, it's not like saying they're on the floor, spray them. and to some fucking, you know, weirdos, they start smelling lemon and shit, and then you clean them up. And it's no big fucking deal.

Yeah. I got rugs and then those pieces of shit. Like, because, you know, sometimes I, sometimes I fuck up. A little piece of something falls down on the ground, didn't catch it. And then they're like, it's dinner time, son. I wake up in the middle of the night to go piss.

And all of a sudden there's a fucking party in my goddamn floor, dude. It's the most upsetting thing in the middle of the night. I'll take ants over roaches Yeah Honestly I don't fuck I don't fuck with roaches man I don't fuck with roaches dude That shit pissing me

I'll fumigate the fuck out of a house I mean it sucks if I guess an apartment situation You can't you don't have the luxury Of just being like Throw the clown fucking circus thing over You know You can't Yeah

They just come in and they just They just come in And they half ass it Because it's an apartment Yeah that's fucked You pretty much got to do it yourself Um Just got to go in and fucking

cock up all the holes and fucking put out of the fucking sacrificial newborn to fucking satiate their fucking stupid gods. I really hate them. I hate them because they don't do anything. And there's no like Pixar movie about him, which is the big problem. Like ants, it's like, okay, you got Dreamworks and Pixar on your side.

You're little Woody Allen's to me. I respect you on some level. But a roach is like, I can't even... Success start. with your drive, an American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at appu.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Like, they're just always enemies. Like, even in fucking, like, what is it? Fallout, the rad roaches or whatever the hell? Giant fucking roaches. It's, it's, it's skeletons with, with bows and arrows, zombies, and then fucking roaches. Those are the enemy archetypes. Those are the enemy archetypes.

No, no, no, no. I'll break it up. It's aliens. There's, there's, there's, there's, there's, Insects, so roaches. Sure. There's... And spiders, actually.

Spiders are the most common, I guess. Spiders are enemies, too. She's fucked because they're actually not so bad. There's skeleton-esque figures. We're talking about ghoulish slash... Talk about the Prince Phillips of the world. And then what's another enemy? You just see you're like, oh, this is...

You know, it's kind of funny. It's just the law enforcers period anywhere in any game. That's true. Yeah, it's so true. Like the fucking guard in front of... fucking white run. I hate those dudes so much. I killed the chicken by mistake.

Are the guys in Witcher 3 that like like guys like bully you? The black guard. You shouldn't be here, witcher. I'm like, all right, bitch. I'm like chop your fucking head off. If they ever say anything, I just kill him. I just fucking kill him. It's just upsetting. I spent a half an hour at like level 3

trying to kill like one of the guards. It's like level 26 and he had to skull over his head and I almost killed him. He hit me one time and I died. I got so close to killing him, dude I was like dodging I was using all my fucking spells and shit he hit me one time and I died

Turned the game off for two months I love doing shit like that I love doing shit Just like someone who's way over O Pete there's one thing I liked about that If I could say something nice about Assassin's Creed Odyssey Where it wasn't there wasn't like gated For like say places I could go to

Or it's like oh don't go here Don't clearly don't go here You'll get killed by anyone And I'm like, oh, I'm going to fucking go here. And same with you. I try to fight this one guy that was hunting me for fucking, I don't know. I try to find him for a half hour. And I almost killed him.

And then he just slashed me once. The challenge is fun, though. The challenge is fun to try to actually kill someone that you're clearly not supposed to. Yeah. Yeah, that's always fun. I'm always happy when, that's one of the things that bother me about Ghosts, Ghosts, Shishima, as much as I like that game. It's, uh, whenever you reach,

a point where it's like overwhelming force or whatever like they don't even let you try like they just they just fuck you up you just get shot by a thousand arrows you just in the air flying because you're getting shot with so many arrows to say literally you're flying flying I've seen some shit like that that video that video of him flying in the air to fucking mr blue sky that show's great it's fucking it's a sight to behold um what time are we at right what the hell what the hell we're at about an hour but like what else the hell dude this is another thing so like there's a couple things we we could talk about

not really much this Matt Gates stuff is hilarious but I haven't looked too much into it so I don't know if I can really speak that much about it I don't know I haven't been on social media lately so I don't know I've been like I take a good break from social media one one thing that fucking blew my

mind that I this news just came out of fucking nowhere and this is normally news I wouldn't give a shit about and I still kind of don't but it's just fucking fascinating. This is real. McCulley Culkin and Brenda Song just had a kid. Yeah. Like, what is that? The fuck?

I didn't know they were together. Yeah, I didn't even know that that was even, like, remotely possible. She was dating, like, a gigantic black man last time I saw. Like some dude that makes me look tiny. You missed your chance then? Sorry, dude. Yeah, it's whatever, man. She had a fat ass, though. I was always a huge

fan of Brenda saw. McCauley Culkin. Yeah, so him too. Yeah, he had a stupid kid named fucking Dakota. like the widest name you can give a fucking Dakota somebody Dakota Is it the widest name? Yes, absolutely.

I feel like it's a Native American name that just became the widest kind of name. Well, it's kind of like, yeah. Dakota is a Native American name. Dakota is a Native American kind of term kind of like Minnesota and all that type of shit when you hear certain shit like that, but only white people live there.

That's true. And they moved them on out. I guess. They moved our people on out. They plagued the fuck out of them. I've only known two Dakotas in my life, and they've been phenomenally black. Yeah.

Really? Really? I can't even. What? Like blacker than me? I thought I thought you were going to say phenomenally white. Yes, blacker than you. Damn, dude.

Significantly black than you. That person, dude, they got bullied. That sucks. You look like me. Damn. Damn, man. I wish I was that black, man. I wish I was just premium.

I wish I was premium fucking. glossy sheen fucking black. But I just go to the fucking beach It doesn't work like that No it does it absolutely does No Derek I've been to the beaches beaches I've been in the Caribbean What happens is I start turning very red also

I get Red is cool That's sunburned I'm talking about a slow burn Of dude I I used to ride my bike to the beach Multiple times a day In 2018

And I started to get to know some of the locals. All those locals, they all look like Hulk Hogan, like their leathery fucking skin. They're not, they used to, they would look like Chris's perplexion, right? Or something. Just a fair skin,

strapping young fellows or whatever the fuck. Strapping? What the fuck you're talking about strappy? Strapping young, you know, just like they're youthful and just normal looking, I guess, relatively speaking. I've gotten so pale since I've been in New York.

It's crazy. I've gotten paler because I've gotten less dark because I'm inside all the time now. I know. Yeah, you are looking a little lighter. It's gross. I mean, I'm still definitely a fucking cocoa person. I'm still dark cherry oak. You look German to me.

The fuck are you talking about? I'm still thinking of Dakota. Sorry. Okay. You look German. Do you wish you were like Vanta black basically? I want to be. You go to get it.

You go to insane. You wish. you're, do you wish if you went to go get a haircut, they wouldn't they didn't quite know. They'd shave my fucking cheeks sometimes. Oh, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't find no angles

on you. I didn't have no idea like where it stops. I want to be so black that if I touch water it turns into ink. I want to be that kind of black. It's just like yeah, I want to be the black guy, the villain from status shock, that nigga that was a shadow.

I want to be that black. I just want to be, possible man I want to be dark I don't get dark like that did when I was younger never tried it you've never tried it Derek Derek I've been out I literally for years growing up I would be I didn't do sunbathing I never sunbathing that's this fucking that's what I'm talking about bitch that's lunacy it's not lunacy it's not lunacy if you want to get darkness what you have to do no but I've definitely been outside throughout full sunny days for a year that's not enough you're just talking about moments where you burned your fucking skin and now it's red that's not dude I've been out I've been out I've I've been, I've let the sun take its course, dude. And I'm just, I just get darker, but I don't get like, I don't become solid black. I got the red undertones, man. Look, you fucking Native American bitch, no. You have to give yourself.

You just call me Native American son of a bitch. Yeah, you fucking, you fucking red skin. We're talking about you turn red. I turn red, dude. Because when I turn red, I still have red under color. Success starts with your drive. and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.

$20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I understand there's a little bit, There's probably some burgundy in there. I get red too if you boil me. It's the fucking Hispanic shit.

That tino bullshit. I want you to, I want you to fucking just for the entire summer. My skin turns to bubbles in the sun. Oh my God. But like bubbles, like fucking bubbles that a little kid dips inside of a mixture and blows. Oh, that's fucking disgusting.

I had to such a vivid image of like a child dipping like, one of the bubble blowing sticks into a person's boiling back and like blowing back bubbles. Oh my God, dude. My arm is so sore right now. Yeah, you good, dude. It's going to get sore, man. It's going to be worse tomorrow, bro. And you keep moving it around, like, just fucking, just relax.

What are you doing? No, I'm supposed to move it around, they said. What? What? I guess to get too used to the pain, so it don't hurt like that. But that's what the janitor told me. That's what that guy's going to be after you. When he's zipping up his pants.

He'd also invite you to your house? Yeah, the janitor who gave me my vaccine behind the JC penny. He said like, there was a line in the JC Penny, so I went behind it instead. He's like, here you go, kid. You see that tweet that went viral? That dude's like, yo, they're heating up my vaccine with the spoon. That was a tweet? Yeah, and then he replies under.

He's like, damn, this belt's really tight. That's pretty good They're hitting up my vaccine in a spoon That's crazy Crazy dude They said that You said that to me and Jailer We were playing

It's Mortarlands Really? Oh man That makes me sad That means it's not even like a I was proud of that one You probably saw it in passing

Sorry man I mean it's not that I mean it's a pretty obvious joke I guess But All right, let's move on to some questions, I guess, since we're probably around that time. That time of the recording. We would have talked more about news,

but like, I don't know what the fuck. I feel like, like, I've been paying attention, and there's really not much. There's just depressing stuff. There's not much as far as entertainment goes. There was some Russian shit, right? Some bunch of series. Right? Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. They got those police robot dogs that, that was today. Where they're actually, like, deploying them, the Boston Dynamics fucking creepy robot dogs that people kicked in those videos Yeah What about what happened Russia

Some Russian shit happened right? Yeah there's a lot like some Fucking you hear about You're talking about police dog cops and stuff You hear about that one cop that like Couldn't tell her taser from a gun Do you hear about that? Oh my God

Yeah Exactly exactly So there's some shit going There's just shit happening And there's like a million stories like that too There's like so many like I thought it was a fucking Tays, and it's like, why don't you...

You would assume... Okay, so, look, I've seen them. I've seen, like, police tasers. They do look super similar to guns. But, like, if this is, like, a problem, then, like, make them different. You know, like, make them pink or something. Make them just something.

I'm pretty sure the side that tasers on is not the same side as the gun. I think that's purposely, like, design that way. Well, no, it's... The tasers on one side and the other side. It's supposed to be on your weak side. Yeah. Your secondary is supposed to be on a weak side.

if you have the most basic training ever this would never happen I'm talking about just basic it wouldn't happen so it kind of shows like what else is going on right what else is happening I don't I don't reach from my gun when I'm trying to get my wallet

you know like but I'm telling you man one time fucking one time I got pulled over and a cop came up to me with his hand on his gun and I'm like I was with my I was with my homie Jeezy and I was just like looking ahead I'm like what

the fuck what do you like are you about to shoot me in the face like I was giving him that kind of look because he's just walking up and I'm just like is this guy just he's like man I want to kill someone so bad like he's just like itching to just shoot somebody in the fucking face and then he probably thought about it's oh wait wait wait not yet

it's still light out let me just wait they'll see him he's very visible right now but if I do it in a nightfall I'll shoot him and say I was in self-defense also there's another person in the car I could kill them both double the points double the XP

double the points I remember I I got pulled over by a cop and he came up to my window and I looked at him and I said do you know how fast you were going and I gave him a ticket and then he shot me you know how fast we're going to the hospital huh that's so bold

you know how fast you were going you know how fast you were going you're breaking a lot too you don't see me snitching and you get killed there honestly there's a pretty good point to be made there you should never make because you will die if you make it. But if you're speeding and a cop's speeding to chase

you, that's just double the speeding. Yeah, that's actually double. They're actually better off if they let you go. Now there's two criminals. Now there's exactly... You and I. Dude, I love it. It's like...

So you go like a hundred miles an hour on the fucking in like a 35 and some cop like speeds up to you, pulls you over. You just turn to him and he's like We're not so different to you and I. You see, for you to catch up to me, you had to be going definitely over 105 miles per hour. Just saying.

You just arrest each other. That's how you solve it. You just arrest each other at the same time. It was funny. Growing up in the city, I saw so many people run away from cops. And I would love seeing people like cross cops up and then take off on them. It'd be funny. It'd be little kids laugh at police officers.

Because, you know, the police officers are the worst. It is everywhere. In every other city, they hate them. It's funny because, like, cities... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. West.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion.

$20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. are so it's so like uniquely easy to like how do i put this i don't want to i want this unbelievable it's unbelievable to it yeah because there's so many like nooks and cranes if you know an area particularly well and if you know like how to like it's really it's deceptively easy to get to the top of any building like or like up to like a what is it like a fire escape or like something anything like that. It's like

shockingly simple. It's child's played yeah. I remember I accidentally I was looking for my room at a hotel once and I actually accidentally like found the roof of the W or whatever the fuck and I'm like I'm way too high up to be exposed to the air but like sometimes you just stumble upon that shit and if you could wire yourself a route you're fucking you're golden. It's easy. It's easy. If you have a few people that have

a few buildings like if you have friends that live in buildings you could just dip into a building real quick by the time they have to knock on the door to get inside you could be down to fire escape and gone like well gone before they could find you it's crazy and most cops aren't very fast I don't even know this

I don't even know this from any like police altercation I just know this from like playing like tag with like friends and shit yeah you know you just end up in the fucking in the Chinese food place behind the thing with them yeah

it's end up walking out of a door and somebody's making General Charles chicken and you're like oh I remember like I won a hide and not a hide and seek but like I won like a tag game but like escaping into like the back of a Chinese food place and like I waited for like six hours and then like we met up the next day

and I was like I won that huh but like they couldn't find anybody else either so it's a fucking waste but anyway aside from like just like depressing shit like that I know that that fucking army dude who got pulled over Oh yeah, that guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Jake Paul sexually assaulted somebody too. There was that. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just, you know, she was just like, I don't want to do it. And then, you know, he was like,

it's every day, bro. And then he kind of just got down with it and it was pretty fucked up. That's crazy. It's kind of like. I've been staying away from Twitter because I wanted to be happy for a little bit. So I haven't been on the internet

and like just the same terrible shit as usual. And I'm just like, wow, I'm glad I'm just, I'm reading books and like writing shit out instead of looking at this fuck shit all the time. Reading books? What books are you reading? I'm reading what you call? I'm reading your second book for Dune. Oh, you're reading Dune? Dune to the second book.

Hmm. You should read. What? Reading? Or books or Dune? A little bit. A little both, kind of. A little both.

Wow. You guys are fucking. If it can't fit on a t-shirt. I'm not reading it Dangerous Dangerous mind A dangerous It's

But how do I put this Is it better for somebody Because well read Is like a term Right It's like this person reads a lot of books They're very intelligent Would you be better off

Having never read a single book in your life Or reading every single Bill O'Reilly and Ben Shapiro book. Oh no. You know? Like, because people, like, I read a lot of books, then it's like, what do you read? Fucking Percy Jackson? Like, what do you, like,

a series of unfortunate events? Fucking Ripley's, what are you reading? The fucking Guinness Book of World Records, you fucking jackass. I don't care how much the suffice might get to scratch his own penis. Fuck that. That's not useful. Yeah, like, I didn't like books when I was younger because, like, summer reading made it, like, really awful.

because there was a period of time like the first time you do summer reading I don't even know if they do this anymore because I don't know anybody who's still like young enough to be in school like all my relatives are like pretty much out of it but the second they introduce that like summer reading curriculum

the first time they do it it's usually like you have to read this you know here's Charlotte's Webb or here's hatchet or here's like some fucking nonsense right that you're supposed to read because it's it's important. It's not until like way later that they go like,

okay, summer reading, pick whatever you want to read and then do like a report on it. That's how it was for me anyway. And it just made me hate fucking reading like early on because I had like no choice. I had choice in every other realm. Like I could choose what movie I wanted to see. I could choose what game I wanted to play,

what TV shows I wanted to watch. I couldn't choose what books I wanted to read. You know what's crazy? I don't think I ever did summer reading. How is that possible? I think I just cheated. every single time I just cheated I think every single time

my friend would tell me about the book or he'd give me his report and I'd be like thank you bro I got you and I would just write it similarly but different enough because I'm not fucking I'm not reading dude I'm not reading over the summer I'm trying to go to fucking Miami and get fucked up

you know like I'm not trying to read over the summer like you can suck my you could suck your dick and everybody else dick in the room fuck you yeah it's it's not it's not super fun it was a while before I found books that I even cared to read because it just had such a shitty association with it. Yeah, the curriculum, the American curriculum, like, is so, it's, it's, it's like, it's almost

geared towards not wanting us to be smart, like, genuinely. Like, it's, it's, it's, like, it, the country does not want us to enjoy any form of academics that can make you a brighter person. No, I believe that. It's wild. I wholeheartedly believe that. because it's actually, it would be, within one year they could fix all the school curriculums if they wanted to. I believe it because of how easy it would be to.

The money thing would be the only problem with like, we got to spend a lot of money to replace all of the fucking books and stuff like that. But teachers, the stuff, they know all the shit that they need to know. And then there's the new shit that they need to just learn that night before and then teach it to you essentially. Like what a lot of teachers kind of do, like, oh, fuck, okay, we're going to learn about this. Now, let me study up on it. But long story short, if they wanted to teach us things that were essential to living and becoming an adult, they could. They don't, though. Oh, yeah, they could.

But they can also teach, like, if the first few books that were given to me were, like, books like the Odyssey or, like, like, Game of Thrones. Like, if let's say I was doing, if I was doing math in school and I got taught music theory when I was little, because I was. brought into it when I was older. If I was taught that when I was little and someone was teaching me how using math can make music sound a particular way, that would have been opened my little brain. I'd be like, whoa, that's so cool.

Or like, show me shit. Like, if someone, like, taught me about literature and characters like that through, like, playing, showing me Dunnus and Dragons when I was little, that would have stuck with my little brain. Yeah. Kids only will grab, to stuff if they if they can find good reasons to like make use of it outside of the class you know

like um because that's i remember like that's why i did super well in like english classes and like i i fucking destroyed the the writing portion of the SAT specifically because it's just like vocabulary i thought was hilarious because you could just find words to insult people and they would have no idea what you were saying they wouldn't know what the hell what is a troglodyte you know like that's so disrespectful yeah it was it was a way to it was a way to like insult people not have to face any consequences for it because they wouldn't even understand what it meant until you were long gone anyway

that it was for me and I loved it but like that's the thing it's like outside of the classes you can't really find a lot of use for fucking Pythagorean theorem yeah absolutely not you know not at all it's used to to know it.

It's useful to know it. Like her knowing, knowing that stuff isn't harmful, you know, but that shit you should learn in like middle school. You shouldn't be learning that in high school. Yeah. Well,

geometry is like one of those things that like everybody just kind of understands. Like, people have a basic understanding of geometry even if they don't care about it or like it because it's just like it's proven to be relatively useful whenever you're fucking building a fucking desk

or putting together IKEA furniture or whatever is just basic shit. Yeah. Bad algebra, you need those, but like, when you go to the trigonometry and like fucking, like, the second you get to imaginary numbers, you know?

Well, when you start doing variables, absolutely. Like, once you start getting to a point like that, you're like, at this point, I'm doing exercises that only somebody who's interested in having a career in

mathematics should be doing. And like I said, this is stuff that they should, you should have selected. You know, then when they talk, the counselors talk to you about college and shit. And then in college,

you get to select certain, things once you're there like I want to do this and this and that and it's like why in the fuck am I not doing this in grade school it's like kind of the one it's the weirdest fucking thing yeah they just spring it on you kind of they just put shit and flinging your face and like dude i it's like i my friend would always tell me like oh because he he first he dropped out of school because he was lazy and then he would always say that he's like stupid or whatever but he had the most vast and deep knowledge about a lot of stuff uh especially when it came to comics and Batman or whatever. I'm like, dude, you obviously are smart in things that you give a fuck about.

Like most people. But you've dropped out of school because of how fucking off. I probably would have dropped out of school if my mom wouldn't have destroyed me because how stupid. I went to private school because my mom wanted me to have like a leg up. I went to private school for elementary. And once I got to public school, I was baffled and offended by how stupid and useless and pointless most things I was, I first was a try harder. I tried hard and I was like, my essays and things that I were doing were at the top of the class. And when I realized that, like, I was like, wait, this is all I have to do to be at the top of my

game. And then I became just C plus C minus motherfucker. Literally not, never did homework and just did the test as best as I could because I'm like, I'm, this curriculum is for the, is for stupid people. to be honest. Like it's, it's everything that they're teaching you is just borderline,

you know, fucking your, your brain is just putting. That's crazy. For me, I got my ass beat if I didn't do in school. Up until I was like, maybe like in,

like, 11th grade, I would get like fucking screamed at and like reamed about it. Like, I wasn't getting hit about it. And when I got out of like, seventh grade,

I wasn't getting like my ass beat about bad grades. But like, I remember like, just, I would be in school. sometimes and I would just be sitting down. I just be like, why the fuck do I need anything you're talking about right now? When I was learning proofs in school, I was like, why do I need

this? What the fuck is it going to do for me? Why am I, why am I, what is this useful for? They don't do a good job of even kind of explaining, even just the general kind of, benefit to learning it. You know, like, because you could look at, like, math and be like, oh, it's just, it's not necessarily the math that's important. It's just, like, problem solving and getting you to think about things in specific, like, that wasn't explained to me until I was way past a point where I could do anything about it, you know what I mean?

And that point, it's like, oh, I understand, but also, like, I'm in college now, so fuck, like, whatever. I don't, this is beyond useless to me now. But if that was explained to me like when I was younger that it wasn't really about the math so much as it was so much as it was about just like the general idea of like kind of like flexing those muscles and like thinking about things in a certain way, that probably would have convinced me to try a little bit harder at math. But they don't do a good job of really explaining that. They don't do a good job of like telling you even just beyond that how this shit's going to help you at all. It's usually just every time somebody asks you or every anytime a student asks a teacher like when am I going to use this. It's just immediately like they don't answer that question.

He's got offended. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. you. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get big. bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. you're asking. It's like this is a reasonable question to ask. Like for me like generally if I control curriculum, I would make it so you get put the kids in the coal mine. No. Yeah. You would get you you would get taught everything relatively similar but at eighth and ninth grade eighth grade it'd be a little more specialized towards getting you use because you learned so much not useful shit in like elementary school. I get is this I get they're trying to form your brain like to teach you things but like you could give like if you explain algebra to like a fifth grader i think they can understand it if you actually broke it down like to them you'd be like okay you can't you can't no i said you can

like yeah like if you broke it down i'm like all right so x can mean anything but we're trying to figure out what x means if five plus two equal x what does x mean i'm pretty sure as a little kid i'd be like what's five plus two oh it's seven does x equal seven and if I would have messed it up, they could have went over that with me over and over again. And that would have been the foundation of like algebra right there. They spent too much time lying to you too. They're like, here's history in first grade and here's history in third grade. Now, like everything, oh, everything you learn in first grade is fucking a lie.

Oh yeah. History would become an elective. It's a lie, by the way. History would become an elective after like seventh grade. Now, if eighth grade, it'd become after like in high school, it'd be an elective. But you'd get taught proper history starting in eighth grade, like fifth grade. fifth to eighth grade you'd get taught like proper U.S. history first and then

world history the next two years. So they have like a really solid understanding of it. So when you go into high school, like all right, high school, now it's time for you to figure out what the fuck you want to do. We're going to give you relatively broad classes in every form in like the first year of high school, like ninth grade and it's like relatively broad.

And then in 10th grade, you pick. What do you want to go into? I think high school in general should just be that. It should just be like college. I think I think I think anything past I don't think I think anything I'm telling man I think anything past elementary because everything I learned every basic thing elementary school because it was private the private elementary school pushed us to like where I was learning about fractions uh percentages weird things like how to like I was like oh

I need to know about like say kilograms and how do I how do I how do I do it what's a pound versus a kilogram 2.2 like I learned this shit as a fucking kid and at first it was kind of hard but then once it clicks, it clicks, right? Then it just sticks. The thing is you just learn basic fundamentals in elementary school, which every kid can do, barring they have some type of issue, like something genuinely happened to them

or something happened. And then from there, it's just, what do you want to do, bitch? I want to do this. Take this line, just having like maybe five or six different generic ways to just go. And then go. I think that's how they do.

I think that's how they do it in, I don't know the exact country. It's like one of the, it's like one of the Scandinavian countries. It might be like Norway or Sweden. I think they do it in that way too, like where it's like, I think adolescent and up, I think like some high school, it basically becomes like not trade school necessarily, but like very specified in like what you want to do. That is so much better. That is so much better for kids.

Like, hey, what do you like doing? What do you genuinely enjoy? And it'll be like, oh, I enjoy X. And it'll be like, all right, cool. You like writing stories? All right, cool. We're going to put you through all this stuff about writing stories. And if you don't like it.

If you don't like it. You're a 15 year old. You have time. You are 15. You have into your 21 to figure out what the fuck you want to do. And that's it. So here you go. 15 year old.

Go through this. That's the issue. That's the issue too. It's like by the time you're at a. So you're. You graduate high school, right? You've done all these basic things. You have a couple of electives that don't really teach you much about what you're going to be fucking doing.

You have to go to a college where you have to take even more classes that you really don't. Like, I remember being fucking befuddled when I went to college and they were like, oh, you still have to take, you still have to take this math and this English and this whatever. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I thought that was the whole point of why high school was there to get this shit over with so I could choose what I wanted to take actually. It's just a fucking joke. So by the time you even get to a point where you're about to go to college

and you think you're going to do what you want to do, you still can't even do that. And now you've got to worry about bills and shit. Like, it's better to, like, just get that shit out of the way when you don't have to, like, rely on people

and you're not, like, fucking worrying about bills and, like, worrying about, like, getting a job and shit. It's better to figure out what you want to do then, then worry about it when you're trying to fucking

make ends of meat, you know and then you by the time you've wasted so much time working in a fucking dead-end job that it's like all right well i guess i'll fucking stay here forever but what it's it's such a broken fucking way that we go about it sucks about that is we offer AP classes right these are college classes right that you have to pay for in high school but then my niece who took AP chemistry and is trying to go into nursing like me her AP credit does not count it is void so that means that my sister paid money for that class for her And then the country voided it.

Then the country voided it. And she was like, I don't want to take that class again because I hated it. But now I have a whole entire college. I have entirety of a college like life now. I have to do all the shit. I'm playing sports. You know? Just got reincarnated.

And then she just gave her the, like I, dude, the more. And then dude, the shit that people learn in high school, I, look, this is going to be a shot. my girlfriend's cause families But they're great people But we were sitting down And we were going through the Dari Smart in the fifth grader Bullshit because you saw it on like The fucking Trisha Pade his podcast with Ethan

So it was I'm smart And the fifth grader They had the balls to ask me about Huckleberry Finn And one of the questions at fifth grade Was like who was the writer Of Huckleberry Finn, right Or what is some shit about Huckleby Finn? I was like first of all in fifth grade

George R. R. Martin You are not talking about Huckleberry Finn at all You're not even bringing that shit up. No, no, like, I'm just talking about, like, in fifth grade. No one's bringing that shit up to you. Who wrote Huckleberry Finn? Tom Sawyer.

Tom Sawyer. Mark Twain, Mark Twain. Tom Sawyer is a character. Tom Sawyer is a character. God damn. See, I didn't, I don't know that. You were, yeah. I don't know that.

Ropee doped you. You did. That was a weird that you. You soapy roped me. This motherfuckerucker said Tom Sawyer. He was the guy that was the one of the thing with N-word Jim, or whatever his name is. Yeah. But the thing is that, like,

Like we they asked there was sorry just like Edward Jyn just sounds like like a comic book like there was a question these are 10th graders these are 10th graders mind you these are 10th graders yeah they one of the question was what is sick what is 38 34 times 20 and what One of them... Wait, that's high school shit? That's not, no, this fifth, this fifth grade stuff. This fifth grade. Oh, oh.

That shit I knew when I was January like in second grade. Okay, okay. All right. They asked them that. And one of the girls looked at me in my face and dead ass said 68. And I was just like, excuse me? And she was like, don't you cancel the zero? I was like, what?

Zero. They're not my kids. I can't hit them. Well, that's debatable. And I was just like, yo, they don't teach people anything. You're not learning. You're really... You're really...

I mean, I feel like also, right? Because the teachers get paid so shit, like, why try? Yeah. Yeah. And even they try harder than they probably even should. Yeah, man. It's so bad. It's so fucking...

It just... I don't know if it's getting worse. Because I don't know if it's because I can't I can't believe people that like Grow up in the 60s really could possibly be smarter than people in our And people like us millennials you know I can't I can't believe that they can be smarter than us With all the fuck this it is they made as a as a as a group of people you know Well they had they had more to worry about that they probably they probably no less I would say Because like they actually could just go and get a job at like I think there was as much pressure on them to go to school

Yeah in the same way Because I think back in like If you were going to school in like the 50s or whatever the fuck You know you were just doing whatever the fuck you wanted to do And you could just like Yeah you had to do the stupid classes and shit But you could you know You could work at

Some fucking outlet store and then save a bunch of money And like actually get a car and actually like Fucking buy an apartment and shit I was looking at the rent I can't remember what the numbers were off the top of my head Because I did the math like in that moment and I immediately forget anything that is no longer useful to me

which is like a bad habit but I was doing the rent on like somebody making minimum wage in the in like the 50s and 60s living in the city like per hour and like based on like how many hours they would work and like how much money they would earn and how much an apartment was in New York City

and it's fucking staggering how little you had to actually work to get a city apartment in like the 50s or 60s. It's actually scary. It's so wild. Yeah. It's a lot of the world is still like that.

I know. It's like it was like 300% worse than it is now or something. Like some fucking crazy thing. It's crazy. It's like here for example, when I was in Greece and then like just a couple of countries in Europe just kind of knowing about what people make on average. Yeah. Not the movie.

Yeah. Oh. Actually, you know what's weird? For some reason, the song Summer Loving is in my head. I don't know why, but it just is.

So it's kind of funny that you even said that. My face, I got tired. I got tired as soon as you said that. Summer Loves. NWA man. What the fuck? Pretty good.

Summer Loving by NWA. Dude, you know what's wild? I didn't. No, you know what my, my first introduction to flavor of flavor was was flavor of love. I had no fucking idea he was in anything or he did anything before that. Public, public enemy? You didn't know he's a public enemy?

You think I was listening to Public Enemy, Derek? Maybe. By proxy where you're from. I told you I didn't listen. I told you I didn't listen to music until like eighth grade. That is so unbelievable to me. That is so unbelievable that you're a musician now. That's so crazy.

Not really. I mean, in a manner of speaking, people call you a musician. something I don't know. I think they're wrong but for some reason. It doesn't make any sense. I think they're wrong. You know it's insane? Like if you Google my name it says musician like it's the primary thing. And it's like what the fuck is that. I'm an editor. Look, I don't want to see what mine shit says. It probably says something really fucked up.

Fucking professional chronic masturbator or some shit. I don't even want to know. Like I literally don't want to know. Chronic masturbator. I just like just I don't want to, I hope it says nothing to be honest. It doesn't, it says, it actually says nothing. What does mine say fucking niggas? That's actually a huge relief.

I like that. What is it? Tom Sweeney just says fucking meme. I'll be like what? No, it says, see results about Thomas William Sweeney. Irish American soldier. I mean, that's not me. That's not me.

That's not me. That's not me. I'm not Irish. I'm not Irish. It's not me. That's so weird. You know, it's funny, my last name and middle name are Irish. Technically, my first name is sort of Irish, too.

Yeah, musical. musical artist. The fuck. Anyway. You know, it's crazy. I've met people. I've met people, okay,

I met someone that the first introduction to raid against the machine was a cover you made by them. What? I didn't, who, Derek?

No, no, you made a rage, you know, you did a rage cover or a parody, I think. I didn't do a rage

anything. You didn't? You definitely covered a rage song. Or you parodied one of them. It was, I promise you, I didn't. I think you did,

bro. It was it, what are you gaslighting me? I think you did. I think you did, bro No, I did There's no way that person would know that Because like I did like

A Rage Against the Machine Parity Style song It wasn't like But I put that on SoundCloud and like Eight people saw it Eight people That was not real

Eight people bro Those eight people Those eight people told eight other people Eight times eight is A number But yeah That's a number some shit. It's off-putting.

Anyway, we should get into questions. Oh my God. Yes. We should have been doing this for a while. I'm wasting people's time. I'm talking about the fucking education. Our podcast is getting more and more just us ranting about how fucked America is. We're getting old, dude. Yeah. My birthday's in two weeks, dude.

Dude, this is weird. Like, your shit's just all on the internet like this. It's fucking gross. Wait, what do you mean? What are you doing? Like, I know, I'm just Googling you. It's just like, I don't know. I hate just all your business is being compacted on the front page. It is,

but. It is really weird. People also search for Idubs, John Tron, Gus Johnson. And, and, and,

Anita Sarkeesian. What a fucking weird list of, so Chris Reagan. People also search for Rucker Rucka Ali. Idubs. Hold on. Idubs, Johntron,

Gus Johnson, Anita Sarkisian, Anthony Fantano, and Jordan Peterson What the fuck? Those are such weird characters. Hey, yo, did you hear that Jordan Peterson

in a comic was compared to Red Skull? Did you hear about that? Oh my God. Dude, there is a... Yeah, yeah, like, legit. There's a Red Skull, like, fucking little panel or something.

I only saw a little bit of it. I didn't look into it because I was like, I need to see this later. But Red Skull is saying something and it's completely mimics. making Jordan Peterson. And I was like, this is fucking, this is the great timeline. This is a fucking wonderful timeline that, that, I don't know what it's about.

But, Sweeney, I bet you would really be interested in that since I'm sure it's a part of, I don't know which comic, but it's in something. I love me some red skull, bro. Yeah. A nice shiny red-headed bald man. Shiny red-headed bald man. His head is red. Fucking Christ.

All right, let's move on. Let's get these questions out of the way. God help us. The man that will one day fuck your daughter's wrote in. Says, what's up, Keith David Groupies? Is there anything that you like but couldn't see yourself doing? For example, I look forward to it. I love the look of facial piercings, but I don't think I would ever get any.

I would say, I actually don't like face piercings. Wait, what was the question? I'm sorry. Oh, is there anything that you like but couldn't see yourself doing? doing. For example, like, you know, this dude like likes face piercings on people, but like wouldn't get him. I think it's, I mean, if I'm like his MMA. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire. APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. com.orgia.org. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion.

$1.20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recover. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Oh, really? Yeah, I love it. I took it for a little bit when I was younger. Then I was like, I don't like this. I'm hurting people and or I'm getting hurt.

This is someone's getting hurt and I don't like this. I don't really like exactly where I live. This is in between place. I understand that. I actually understand that. That's actually, that's a good answer because I think like the training is great, which I really want to, I'm probably going to join.

MMA gym once everything's opened back up. But the same thing. If somebody's like, oh, now sign up and start competing. I mean, no, I don't want, like, it's fine. Like, someone actually genuinely trying to hurt you, I'm not like, that doesn't excite me. I like watching it and stuff, but me, I don't want to break my nose. That's something that, like, I don't look forward to. And everybody who fucking fights breaks breaks their nose at some point, unless you're just incredibly lucky. But yeah, I think I would have to agree with that. I couldn't imagine what my nose looked like broken. If somebody broke my nose and didn't heal right, I don't know what the fuck my nose.

It would probably be like over here. I don't know what would happen. Imagine Sweeney with fucking, with who's Luke Wilson or is it Owen? Owen has the broken nose. Which one? Owen Wilson. Yeah, yeah, Owen Wilson. That's right.

Like imagine that nose on you, dude. The same complexion as Owens, but just on Tom Sweeney's normal fit. Ew. Like a fucking mime. I'd look like a fucking dog or something. How dogs have different color noses to their fucking faces. That'd be so disgusting. That is really gross.

I need to see that now. Someone's going to make that. Don't make that, guys. Come on. Be respectful. If no one makes, I'm just going to make it. I used to think MMA was just purely gay.

Because I didn't know what it was. And somebody was, somebody was like wearing an MMA shirt. And I was like, what does that mean? I remember I asked him, what does that mean? He says, he said, like, man-merking ass or something? He said, munching man-ass. And I was like, oh, I don't know why he would say that. He has no reason. That was when I had, like, some level of trust in people. So I was like, oh, he has no reason to, like, lie to me. Like, why would he, like, make something up?

Yeah, it's just like, all right, I guess. I just walked, just went along. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good answer. I feel like for me, it's like, any, the degree with which I see people do tattoos, like, all over their bodies, like, all over their bodies. Like, like, huge back tattoos and, like, or like, face and like, like, like, because that's something like I, I, uh, that was like my type for a while. Like the tattooed, like, like the suicide girl type deal. And it was like, because that's really, I don't know, I think it's cool. I think it looks good. But I would never in a fucking million years get a back tattoo.

Like I couldn't That It's so egregious It's just such a huge amount of space And I'm like I don't I don't know if I Yeah I don't think I could be comfortable

Covering that much of my body With like a specific image I could do it I'd be okay It's just it's just the money thing Like if there's an artist If there's literally If there's an artist that's like

I'll give you a substantial discount Like let's fucking piece you up I'd be all about it But I just not You get the wings What? You get those stupid wings? No, I have one generic tattoo and that's good enough.

Like one generic tattoo is good enough and everything else is just kind of stupid bullshit. And I'm just going to stick to. I'm kind of the same where I really like how sleeves look where people put a lot of time into it. I really like Justin Wang's fucking his pieces on him. But I never was interested in doing that shit. Like the whole, I'm going to plan this out and make everything flow and the colors are going to. I'm like, that shit's good. gay. Like, I like how it looks for on people, but for me, I'm just like, I don't care. I like that.

I just always like the idea of just, just paint shit on me. It doesn't have to flow. Like, just, let's just put something on me. It's, it's fun. And, uh, I don't really think, I don't really think anything more about it than that, to be honest. You're going to get face stats ever dirty. No, I've, I've, I, the face is the one thing I would always avoid and I still, this is the one thing that I think that I won't ever like accept. Like I never get, I always thought tattoos are fine everywhere else except for the face because that's literally where people look at you. And then so you have to like fucking now it becomes a part of your general like genuine identity

where this is the one part where everybody looks at you and then usually just looks like there's like a bug on your face or something fucking stupid. Like it just it's like say post Malone. I really like that guy. But he looks like shit now. He just looks like somebody just scribble it all over him. He looks like garbage He always looked like garbage

At first at first No because dude I remember when he didn't have any tattoos dog I remember Post Malone when he had no tattoos Like in 20 Like 20 2015 13 13th 13 like when white Iverson came out Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I saw him like he disappeared and he made rock star

And I saw him and I was like dude what the fuck happened bro Like that turned himself into a fucking high school bathroom stall Like it makes no sense And like he has he said him it clearly means something but to me like just that's just too much you know like that's that's a lot you could never hide from people either you'd you'd never go you don't go into witness protection you're obviously you like you're obviously gonna oh that's that guy oh that's that guy who tattooed his social security number on his face like you know it's like it's it's just so dumb

looking and there's you know the thing is it's like it's also just a part of your body that there isn't really enough skin to do anything interesting with and even if you could do something interesting with it, you're just stuck with that forever and you just look like an asshole. Like, I've never seen somebody with face tattoos and didn't think you look like just a colossal asshole. Like, I just, that's my immediate assumption of you. I'm sure you're a fine person, probably maybe, but this is my, it's almost like evolutionarily. Like, you're evolutionarily wired to recognize a human face.

And when it's just completely off or there's like something wrong with it, it just, it just, I feel like you just kind of inherently don't like it. It's for the same reason people don't like fucking clowns or like, you know, mimes. It's because they're off because they don't look like people. I agree. I think the tattoos on the face now is a cultural thing in the way now, nowadays, in the same way that say you go to certain parts of the world and people will diss their lips or women will fucking, you know, their neck or something,

where they grew up in that environment where they think that shit looks cool. but everybody else is like, what the fuck are they doing? So all these gen Ziers, they all think tattoos on the face is like, that's the shit. I mean, look at Mario Judah's a prime example. He just became like, you know, famous. No tattoos. First thing he does is have tattoos on his fucking face.

Like, that's like the first thing. That's so stupid. Unless he has like permanently fake ones, but like I've seen him a couple of times. I was like, oh, he put shit on his face already. Nowhere else he started with his fucking face. That's so dumb. If my kid got a face tattoo, I would take them to the place.

Take the most pain for removal. Yeah. Just a back alley tattoo removal. They just sort of sand his skin until the- It'll work. It'll work, but it's going to hurt a lot. And I'd be like, good. And I'd fucking strap him down. I'm like, you're going to pay for this.

I do want to get a sleeve. Like, I like tattoos. And I like planning, like, big elaborate tattoos. I don't know. Like the whole, like, the second, like, you see somebody in their whole body is covered in tattoos, it's like, you just, like, you just, look like a, I don't know, you're, you look strange to me. Like, you look like a cartoon.

Like, you're not even a real person, really. This guy I know, uh, he, he actually got kicked out of this band, Bad Wolves, because uh, he basically started, I think he started watching like Ben Shapiro and Crowder and shit. And then he just, uh, you know, everyone was like, hey, can you please leave the band? And, uh, that fucking guy, though, uh, he, I like him, but his, he's tattooed head to toe, His higher head is tattooed. He looks so fucking stupid. He is a very attractive, built man.

Wait, who is it? His name's Tommy Vexed. Like Tommy V-E-X-T. And, uh, light-skinned brother from New York. I like the guy. But now he just, like, he had like these modelish good looks,

but his fucking tattoos just, completely on his body and his head. And he only has this small window. Left. Wait, hold on. So, Kingston, have you, did you, did you Google this dude? I'm up ready. I'm already. Already on it. Do you see the sad, do you see the sad picture of him in the American America Great Again hat?

Tommy Vexed? Make sure you spelled it right. I did. Yeah, B-E-X-T. Oh my God, dude. Do you see that? Are you seeing the image that I'm, that I'm talking about? Dude, I'm just looking at his head. He looks like a fucking... No, look at, hold on. Look for that image of him in the Mick America Great Again hat.

Okay. Do you see it? Bro, it's literally, you spelled it wrong. He spelled it wrong. If you're not seeing it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm looking right at it.

All right, I'm going to say something. And you look at this image and tell me, I just want to see your reaction when I say this. Justin. Who's that? I don't know who he is. This dude has our friend's expression. Exactly. Like it's actually just, this is our friend Justin's face, just straight up on some fucking...

He does look like Justin actually, genuinely. He does look like... Yeah, our friend Justin looks like a teddy gram. I wish we could... I wish we could put a photo... He does not look like a teddy gram. Like, you say that all the time and I'm like he does not. If he looks like a teddy graham, I can, because like this guy kind of looks like a teddy graham. What the fuck does that mean? You guys are fucking in it. No, no, no, Sweeney, you always think I'm off base with this. But every time, like, every time I have, been every time I've been in a room full of people of who know Justin and I say Justin looks like a teddy gram everybody laughs because it's ridiculous no because it's

accurate and people think people like agree it's not like just some oh LOL so random teddy grams Chris Chris I've seen so many teddy grams Justin's a human being oh my god you're just a fucking maniac dude you're just a I'm gonna show, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna put a picture up for obvious reasons, but I'm gonna show Derek a picture afterwards. Because he, I feel like he would agree. He does look like Justin though. I'd give him that.

He does actually like, yeah. You know why? Because he looks like a teddy. You're such a fucking, faceclosed. This guy looks like, Tommy looks like, I get it, dude. I get it. I see you. What's the next question?

God damn. I can't stand you guys. I'm hungry, dude. I'm hungry now. All right. Shit, I'm hungry. Doug. By the way.

Oh, before you move forward. I just want to say there's this guy. He's on the, if I get up suddenly. Oh, look at this guy. He hurt his arm. If I get up suddenly, I'm actually, I just need to. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APU.appus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan from america's large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you i'm gonna drop somebody's meet me at the front door i just need to drop something off if i get up just suddenly i'll be like right back i'm just letting you all right well we'll just keep going yeah yeah for sure yeah keep things going uh what time snap is that an hour just gonna remember that for later well how what time we are right now.

Just hour 51. Oh shit, really? We don't hear what questions? I'll probably like edit some of the other conversations. I'll probably like cut the school conversation down a little bit. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. But, um, all right.

Doug's discount toiletries. You wipe it and we swipe it. Roaded. Says hello, used napkin, penny, and chip. Don't know who's who. Don't even ask. My question is, piggybacking off a question, uh,

with, oh, hold on, let me read this again. My question is piggybacking off of a previous episode conversation with Jonathan regarding music and its impact on movies and video game, scenes, and segments. What's one instance where music really made the scene or section of a game really great or really terrible? Personally, controls Astray Mage section where they play Take Control by Old Gods of Asgard,

old gods of Asgard is one of my favorite fucking thing specific. Dude, control. so good. I'm so glad that people, like, the fact that people even wrote in about the fucking ashtray maze is awesome. That's such a good game. But, fucking all of doom pretty much. Yeah. As, as I mentioned in that podcast, I think, uh, oh man, blow me away in fucking Halo 2 is pretty sick. I can't think of, oh, you know what? There's a scene in, have either of you guys played Far Cry 3? No. No? I didn't finish it. I didn't finish it. Damn.

But yeah, it's really good though. There's a scene where you burn down a, like, a weed farm or whatever the fuck, and they're playing this ridiculous, like, I can't remember what the song was, because I only played Far Cry 3 once, but that was a pretty good fucking sequence that I thought was pretty cool. Because it wasn't even on rails or anything. It was just like, oh, this is just happening naturally. Which is good shit.

Yeah. I always You got one because me instantly got a war two When you when you fight Perseus It's The fight is Not it isn't not nearly as good as the fucking track If you put in like

Cratos versus Perseus It's like one of the best fucking scores written in a game And it doesn't make sense And I'm like this Fight is fucking stupid Because you're quote unquote trapped in this room, but there's pillars that you could literally just walk through, you know,

but you're somehow trapped. You know, it's like one of those things where I'm like, this is stupid. I'm distracted by that, but this room looks cool and the music's fucking amazing. Oh, man, I'm trying to figure out. I mean, like, I would say there's several moments. Like, I think when you're in, um, in Bryn Star and Super Metroid, the music that plays like do do do uh uh chah

you look you this is just these are the these are the ramblings of a madman people would know people know people know about it but then also what moment um that you know it's a good

really really good piece of music people are going to get mad at me the ending of Last of Us 2 last of us one when you're telling Ellie that everything was going on that score at the very end of I think the whole game has a fantastic music musically honestly

oh no when you're riding up to what's his name's house in freaking um in Redemption 2 oh yeah jackback oh dude that's the best moment that whole game honestly that whole game is elevated by the music too like that's like that score is so good or the de angelo moment that's just legendary

oh yeah the fuck I totally forgot about oh you know what my favorite moment in Red Dead 2 is too, or one of the ones that I think about a lot, is when you're walking up to torch the mansion with everybody, and it's like, the game just sort of naturally frames it like a fucking movie. That's the moment I'm talking about, no, the part when you're writing, everyone's writing there, that whole portion music-wise is so fucking good. Red Dead Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2 is a masterpiece.

I wish I could forget Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2. So I can play it again. I tried to play it on stream, and I can't because I remember. so much of it. Yeah. It's one of those things, like, that's one of the few games that, like, I wish I could experience that for the first time again. And it's not even, like, like, because I wouldn't wish that for Halo 3, you know,

or something like that, because, like, that's more about, like, the year that it came out more than it is about, like, what the game actually is. Like, if I could experience that in 2007 again, I would do that. But, like, I wouldn't want to, like, forget Halo 3 just so I could re-experience it in 2021 for the first time, but like Red Dead Redemption 2 and like fucking God of War and Spider-Man, all of those games. I'm trying to just forget all those games and replay them again. Because personally, I feel like right now there's just no games out, dude.

That really bothers me as a whole. Like, it's just nothing to really play. They're going to be coming. Like, we're in for, we're actually in for like a fucking ridiculous 2021 when it comes to. I know, but it's so late, dude. It's so, it's so late. Like, everything starts coming out in fucking May. I will say, like, there are things that have come.

out that you just probably wouldn't like so far. Like, because Hitman 3 was fucking awesome. But it's a very specific type of game, so like whatever. But later this year we got, so we got Resident Evil on the horizon. Can't wait. Death Loop, which

looks fucking great, by the way. Death Loop is arcane. That is the guys who did Dishonored and Prey. We had Hitman, Far Cry 6, Avowed Right?

Uh- Avowed, right? Avowed. No, that's probably a while off. That's probably like, I think, 2022. Or three, probably. Far Cry 6, which has that fucking Gus from Breaking Bad in it,

which is the only reason I'm looking forward to that. Horizon, Forbidden West, which, you know, that's a pretty solid fucking... Like, I didn't care for the first game, but it's not because I thought it was bad. It's just like... I'm looking more forward to the sequel than I am.

I played that game while I was playing Ghost and that game was, you realize how, you realize how not good other open world action games are compared to Ghost Oshima while playing that game. Ghost is really good. Ghost is just a fun watch to, like, it's even just fun to watch people play. But,

uh, so we got, that's like, five Outwriters came out. That's apparently, like, people like that. I don't really care for it.

I don't like the demo. Um, it was all right. But like, it's not going to captivate me I already got it's not destiny fucking Halo Infinite this year

back for blood which is the Left for Dead fucking spiritual sequel returnal which actually looks pretty cool um fucking ratchet and clank that game looks good

uh we had Mario we had Super Mario 3D World and that fucking that whatever the I don't I hate those games but like whatever adventure yeah it takes two

which is apparently awesome Me and Lily got to play that game. We're planning on a stream. You should. You should play that on a stream because I hear that's like really good. It's definitely two-player game, right? Yeah, yeah. Do you need two controllers?

Yeah. Okay, I was buying up the controller. Or I used my PS4 controller, actually. Fuck it. Yeah. Kind of. Like, apparently there's like a thing where like to use the PS4 controller, you have to download the PS4 version of the game

because PlayStation is really dumb. Wait, what? The way that they... Yeah, let's not get into it. Mass Effect Right around the corner I cannot wait The legendary edition

Monster Hunter Rise just came out Fucking Ghost Wire Tokyo odd world just came out Which I'm happy about Lego Star Wars That whole fucking The whole thing with like all the The movie in it

Is apparently like coming out Pokemon Snap I don't know what the fuck that is Wait really There's a Pokemon Snap There's a new Pokemon Snap Yeah so you remember the one we were little That's the one I had 64

They made a new one they remade it again. Okay. Again, they was like, oh, let's just make another. Nintendo was like, why don't we just rehash an idea again? Yeah. Psychonauts 2. Little Nightmares 2, which I haven't played yet, but like Little Nightmares 1, it was fucking awesome.

Biomutant, the medium, which is actually pretty good too. Dying Light. I might get that. There's so much. Valheim, I hear, is like, really good, but I haven't been able to play it because my PC isn't strong enough. Super Mario Golf The new Mario Golf Doesn't Baldur's Gate come out this year?

I think so Balders Gate Yeah, okay I'm just waiting I feel like there's not enough out right now That fits my Vampire the Masquerade Cyber Shadow

Warhammer 40K Wait what? What? Warhammer? Warhammer 40K Why? Dark Tide Diablo 2, the Diablo 2 remake

That's true Diablo 3 comes out this year or no Two Diablo 2 remake Diablo 2 resurrected, I think it's called. But there's a bunch of shit. It's just like all of it is condensed into fall, basically, and like a little bit trickling in during the summer months. But this is going to be a fucking crazy year.

If things don't get pushed out or delayed, then that's, we talked about this on. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

Sacred symbols, but I know that that doesn't have necessarily the most overlap with this one. but I have to talk about this because I think it's so fucking interesting. Do you know MLB the show, that baseball game? Yeah, it got put on Xbox, the Game Pass. So, right. On day one, it's going to be on Game Pass. And that's a Sony, a previously Sony exclusive game developed by Sony, by a Sony studio. Like, they, they funded that money and built the game.

And now it's just free on Xbox. Which is like one of the biggest slaps in the face I think I've ever seen. Like that is such a... That's definitely like, oh. Because I would assume that that just meant that Sony was like, yeah. Go ahead. No. No.

They don't like putting their games anywhere. But the only reason they had to do this is because MLB held the license and they were like, we're going to give this to somebody else if you don't agree to our terms. And the terms were it could go on other platforms. which would normally be fine because they would be making a lot of money but now it's just like hey we're put

because this goes on other platforms we're putting it on the service like let me put it this way what reason would you have as somebody who's a fan of MLB the show to not get it on Xbox now because it's free I understand that

but like for me it's like I heard about that and I was like well I guess but at the same time like it's going on like like I don't know like you know like

MLB isn't a console seller you know if people are not going to be like, I got to get a piece. But I don't think. Not in our circle. Not in our circles. Maybe not. People play sports games, you know, like, people's like, for me, it's like, well,

that's not, that's not like a Last of Us or like a fucking ghost sushi or something like that. Whereas like, Spider-Man, like, people didn't straight up buy PlayStation, which a large mass didn't buy the console for that. But at the same time, I understand that like, yeah, that's a little weird. So just It's It's just

It really is It really is fucking crazy Just how much of a slap in the face it is though Because like You just can't Sony historically doesn't like to do this They don't like to put their shit anywhere The only time that they ever put their shit anywhere

Is when they've sold all that they can On their platform basically Like when Death Stranding sold as much As they were going to sell on PlayStation They waited a year and it was just like whatever. That wasn't like a huge seller anyway because it was a niche game.

But Horizon they waited like five years because no one was buying Horizon on PlayStation anymore because like everybody already fucking had it. So they're like, all right, we'll put it on PC now to get a bunch of more money. So the idea that like this game is either going to be $70 on PlayStation

or free on Microsoft's... Imagine your Sony and you're... You basically put millions of dollars into making something that makes your competitor's service really appealing. Yeah. Like that is wildly disrespectful. Like I couldn't believe that they fucking did that.

But, oh well. All right, let's go on to the next fucking question. We're going a little bit over, but we'll, it's because we're going to cut some stuff. Papa Jesus wrote in. He says, A, my degenerate boyos, personally, I hate whimsical advice, like be yourself, or never give up.

I like that that's whimsical. Wimcical. It's a really good way to describe that advice. That is actually like super just like. It is whimsical. Because it's cliche and vague. Do you have any practical life advice for the viewers? For example, I learned that making an effort

to always put things back in the same place is a good way to make sure you don't lose anything, especially helpful since I have major 80s. that is accurate that is a good habit to get into oh generally don't work hard work smart

actually yeah genuinely that's like one of the best advice I've got like you don't have to overly work yourself you have to work smart figure out what you know and then use what you know apply what you know

to how other things work and you'll start figuring shit out simply it's yeah and it can be easy to feel like it can be easy to feel like you're not working hard enough when in reality it's just like it's really just kind of like a work ethic

kind of like a general I don't want to say brainwashing but like it's just kind of like a thing that's drilled into our heads from very early on it's like you got to work you got to work you got to grind you know you got to really work hard to get anywhere but it's not

true at all like literally not true you got to put it's it's really not like the thing is it's like think about all the people who are billionaires right now they didn't they're not they have not worked harder than like a person at a steel mill. That's that's true.

That's true. But what happens is Chris, there's, there's like those are like those are circumstances, you know, where like, you know, you got to, you got to do things. But like, let's say like you're not, you can't compare Bezos to like a human, you know, you can't compare or you can't compare like a Rockefellerium, you know, like work, work, like work ethic is important. You need to have a decent work ethic. It's in general. Like you got to know like for me like I have I have a spotty work I think but I know when I sit down and I'm doing work I'm doing my work I got to get this done with and then my my obsessive compulsiveness is just like I'm not done with this so I can't do something else I like a tackling one thing at a time before I go to other stuff you know and I feel like that's fairly a decent like mentality to have that's good but like for people that are like like oh you don't got to work hard to really like blow up out of something else to get.

like to get to the next level of something you usually do to maintain not always you do have to work hard but the issue is like if you can achieve so here's the thing if you can achieve in three hours what you feel you need to put

20 hours into there I agree with you don't put the 20 hours in like it's just it's it's dumb like because there's there are times where I've like I've improvised a video like overnight right or I've spent multiple weeks on a video and sometimes that's like worth it

but it's not necessarily the thing that I'm supposed to be doing every single time I put something out like I don't need to spend three weeks making a video every single time because it's just a waste of fucking time because I can make more money and make good shit without working myself to the fucking bone

and that's just generally like a thing that I'm trying to figure out too right now because like I have it I attribute work to suffering almost. That's a bad. So it's almost like if I'm not, if this is too easy, then I'm not working hard enough.

It's typically like the way that I feel, which is like just programming from like a long time ago. So that's a bad mindset. So anybody who's like work hard, work hard, work hard, work hard. It's like that's worth, that's good advice,

but working smarter is way. It's more useful. It's definitely more useful. It gives you a live long, Absolutely. Everything you guys said for the past like 10 minutes, whatever, but also at the same time, you got to be, you got to be smart. Like, for instance, I say all the time now and I sound like a fucking, I sound like a fucking broken record, but there's different, put all your money in doge coins, what you're saying. But like I can't, point to the moon, baby. I can't watch content creators. Like, even my watch mojo, my watch mojo viewing has gone down, you know, because at least watch mojo's about different things each time. But like if I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't do, I can't do, repet, like, constant posting content creators. I'm unfollow everyone that does that. What do you watch on fucking watch Mojo?

I don't know. It's always some insightful shit. What the fuck are you doing? I haven't seen Watch Mojo. Oh my God. Since like. I get it. Okay, I get it.

I'm one of the few people that watch, watch Mojo, even though they regularly get millions of views. They have 20 million subscribers. Every video, they post videos like, they post seven videos a day and each video has like seven million views. Like, what the plus. Yeah, because A bunch of people like this.

Fucking quartering, dude. There's a bunch of idiots like me. Yeah, just watch it. It's just a bunch of normal people. It's just like, 10 times Schmidt was the best character on New Girl. And it's like, okay. What do you? It's just background noise.

It's like comfort food. It just works, you know. I will say, I'll, I will say, I'll give a compliment where a compliment is due. The lady who does the voiceover for why. Watch Mojo does have a good voice. Very good voice. I actually do like your voice. Yeah, it is a solid voice to the point where it's like I almost can forgive it.

Almost. But if it's like that guy or like anybody else, like I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Ash from Watchmojo. Like look, let me go over the like the most recent. Top 10 creepy YouTube missed the creepiest YouTube histories ever. Top 10 most powerful mortal combat fighters. Top 10 times anime characters asserted absolute dominance. Shut the fuck up

That is so stupid The top 10 most dangerous movie quest ever I don't watch all of this but I do watch some of it The top 10 hottest fucking cum shots That's what I want to say Thickest bics in porn It's like wow That's what I want to see

That's what I want to fucking see man Then I'll give me much mojo They'll get me back Number 10 Mandingo And it's like he's number 10 you get to the end you get to the end it's just a it's just a travesty of a human being

some dude's dick looks like a pizza with the length of a fucking bed it's like what the tripod it looks like it looks like a fucking foam roller all about it oh my god anyway top ten worst things added and Eddie have done Success starts with your drive,

and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call.

24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. What? Is that real?

Is that real? Dude, fuck you, man. Top ten most dangerous vaccines. Wow. You imagine Machuio just becomes like an anti, like a conspiracy theory site like overnight like they sell it and some guy just starts thinking top 10 reasons why the earth is flat. Top 10 reasons are top 10 times. Top ten fucking top ten gayest frogs. Top ten gayest frogs.

That's unbelievable. Top ten pieces of evidence that prove Epstein's innocence. And you're just like slowly watching this being like, this seems like... This is different. This is like a little different. Number ten. Number ten. The books were empty.

After Epstein's death, his black book was checked and contrary to popular relief, there were no names inside of it. That is made up. And it's like, what? I don't think it's made up. But there's photos of that. But Moja said it. It's real. Can you imagine you get all your information from fucking watch.

That's just all you do. That's how you study. Imagine getting all your human experience, your life experience from Twitter. Like there's a little kid and they hook him up to a machine and Twitter feed. and Twitter feeds him information and then now he just put out into the world They did that already That was Tay

You remember the fucking AI that Microsoft made That learned from the internet And started saying like white nationalist shit That was amazing Did you see the fucking that Oh my God I can't remember what platform That's real?

Hold on There was this software I'm sure you saw it Derek Where it was like You had to have seen this It was like this streaming software that allowed you to like automatically censor

like racism and like xenophobia and so and it used AI I guess to like to like customize like and it's all these sliders and there's like a white nationalism slider and like a

xenophobia slider it's like oh man I usually play with I usually stream with white nationalism set to five but like it's 10 today but like there was a toggle a toggle for the N word. It said N word. Yes.

Yes or no. Toggle. Amazing. This is such an amazing reality and I couldn't be more grateful that I'm living in it. What is wrong with the internet, bro? Like, what the fuck is wrong with the internet? It's crazy. It's unaccountability.

I think that's what it is. It just breeds the worst kind of fucking derelict creatures. What happened was we went off of Amish Donk. We went off of new grounds. We stopped using addicting games and we started using fucking Twitter and Facebook. And that was when everything fell apart. Like that is the moment, I think. Before, everything's fine.

I feel like the internet would have been fine if it just stayed that way. But now it's all wrong. People fucking dressing up like Holocaust survivors on TikTok. It's just everything wrong. I saw that shit. I saw that shit. And I was like, man, that's pretty fucking. Bonnie.

That is pretty. Dude, as soon as soon as they made, I think Ebon's world was the fucking, was a fucking something sent down from the devil. The devil came to some guy in the middle of night and he was like, make this. And upon making this, the world will burn. And you'll have infinite freedom in my kingdom. And the guy was like, yes, Satan. And he made that website.

And all the little kids came to it. little ones were like, be to see this stuff. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian rodent. This is hell of strangers that I give 1.79% of my monthly paycheck to. Seeing as you've worked, seeing as you've all worked customer service jobs or retail, I was wondering what's the stupidest question a customer has ever asked you. A couple of months ago, I asked a customer if he would like to donate to help in the fight against AIDS, to which he responded, AIDS still exists?

And when I told him it did, he said, are you sure? He's like, didn't I defeat it? I thought I ended it. It's a reasonable question. You don't really hear about it much anymore. He summons one guy who had it. And he's like, I got to go to work. That one guy who famously has it is still around.

Maddie Johnson? Yeah, he's still alive, right? Did he die? Magic AIDS Johnson. He just called him Magic AIDS Johnson. Shut your bitch ass up. Shut the fuck up. What kind of Californian says some shit like that?

You're ignorant bitch. Fuck you. Let's be real. Hold on. Stop fighting. Let's be real for a second. It is pretty magical. It is really amazing that the guy named magic just survives with AIDS.

That's pretty amazing. That's not something that can be said for like a lot of people with AIDS. Magic has money. So that's why Magic still alive. Yeah. Pretty Mercury had money too. Freddie Mercury had money not in the same time period

Freddie Mercury How old is Magic Johnson? When did Magic Johnson get AIDS? Maddie Johnson got AIDS in the 90s. Early 90s Johnson Yeah He died in 2006

No, he did not You fucking idiot What the fuck you? What are you talking? You made me so mad If Gabby heard you say that She would have been in your room She would have teleported in the room

It killed you Yeah, probably Mama I got some AIDS Set the fuck up. I didn't mean to go. Somebody came into Sears once asking where to trade gold. Did you kill them?

No, it was dead serious, too. I thought it was like, I thought it might have been like a YouTube prank, but it was like it was too early for that. And also he was like too old and no one was around. So it would have been a waste. But like, giggling. Was this, was this, was this in 2006 or seven? This was this is 2013

What? Yeah There wasn't even Was there a gold Was there even like a gold rush around that time When like Well the price of gold had just spiked around that time I think What did it?

I don't know because I remember it's spiking in 2006 And then It Okay what who cares? Whatever fuck that person I don't know For me there was one time Some girl walked in and she was like

Can I get 20 on Pump 4 And I was like this is Starbucks and she walked out and I was just like Yo what just happened I was like what is happening? What just happened? You've seen that

video of the guy going He goes to the gas station He goes like Can I get 10 on Uh And he like He walks back forever I wish I could find that video

Can I get 10 on? Some people Some people are really making like hilarious shit on TikTok, honestly. Like, I don't browse it, really, because I usually wait for Twitter to just kind of like... Spit it out? Yeah, spit it out of me, so I don't have to cycle through it.

But some of it's fucking hilarious. TikTok is just vying again. It's literally just vying again, but it's that sometimes people don't understand when to turn off the camera. So people have the camera on way too long, and I see too much of them. I'm like, bro. I saw this video of some, like, old, frail lady. She, like, opens her jacket like this, and it's a shirt and says, why?

and she goes like, why the fuck aren't you vegan yet? And it says that on the shirt too. And it's just this nine-year-old kid aiming the fucking camera to the ceiling. And it's just him in the corner, his eye, going like, I can see the wires in your neck. It's like, this is so mean. It's just a fucking, yo, honestly,

the internet's going to ruin kids. It already has. It already ruined us, I think, to some degree. I don't think it ruined me. I think I was, I think the internet saved me. Sleep to fucking live leak videos. The internet saved me. I think if it was no internet,

I would have been committing crimes and shit. Yeah. I think the internet fucking gave me an outlet to calm down. The difference would be, you would be getting caught. That would be the fucking difference. I don't commit crimes. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you can't prove it. Maybe not out loud. The cops can't prove it either. You can't prove it either, bitch. All right, we'll do one more. Imagine paying $60 for Pokemon Sword and Shield Rodin. He says, hello, Chris Derek,

and the Antichrist. Ouch. Just, shit. Just fuck you, dude. He says, question, imagine there's, my God. I was hoping we wouldn't get to this today. Here we go. Imagine there is a man who has come that tastes very good

and is one of the most delicious things you've ever had, like five-star meal at an expensive restaurant. He'd let you try it out, but only if you suck his seven-inch cock to completion as he comes in your mouth. Would any of you do that if yes, how often? No. And if any of you are a bitch and too scared to drink his gum, he'd be willing to make accommodations and dress like a femboy and or say here comes the airplane before the dick goes in. This is a whole man's question.

Let's go. Yo, this guy's a fucking, okay. I definitely do it, but not because I'm gay or anything like that. No, that's highly debatable. You know what's crazy? It's highly debatable. You know what's crazy? Saying I'm not gay is fine, but saying, I'm not gay is fine.

but saying I'm not gay or anything like that is just, Primo, I'm gay. That just screams I am actually gay. Yeah, because you're knowledgeable about all the different shades. Yeah. Remember when Lil B was coming out with a mixtape called I'm gay? I love that. Everybody made it.

Remember everybody, like everybody in the hip-hop world is making a big fucking deal about that? Do you remember that shit? I do remember that. You know what's so funny? The hip-hop community loves Little B, bro. The hip-it-l-l-l-meet by a little bit, like there's, for, a period of time there was a called task force

protect Lil B and it was a bunch of like rappers retweetin like every at any cost keep Lil B alive never let little B disappear I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't do this I would like I no there's no way there's

there's there's plenty of things in life that are fucking awesome but like you have to do some and like I imagine if you're really into nature and like I'll sing like beautiful things say standing at a top of the mountain might be like something awesome to you but would you want to make that fucking trek? Would you want to go?

Would you actually want to? Fuck no. Like, fuck no. Fuck no. So it's like, just because there's this dude's cum taste like fucking waggoo or something. I don't care.

You have to fucking no. Yeah, that's a thing because I could just go. This guy's bumble baba. This guy's come tastes like hubba baba max. The LeBron one. so it's really tasty. It's super tasty.

It's just like... You know it's wild? That's how I knew LeBron from the gum. Because I didn't watch basketball. Oh, is it? You never heard of it until gum. Okay. I mean, I heard the name, but I didn't know.

You know, I assumed it was sports. I guess. That's so crazy to me. That's so crazy to me. How you just not know who LeBron? That's like not knowing who like fucking, I don't know, like, Derek Jeter is. Like how the fucking don't know Derek Jeter is.

Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers,

starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more, at APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. What the fuck is that? You're trying to say Volkswagen Jetta?

Yeah, that's, yeah, that's it. Of course you know fucking Derek Jeter, like, you're hometown hero or some shit. He is a hometown hero, actually. The Mets, right? Damn, bro. You probably can't go back to the Bronx anymore. You probably can't return to where you were born.

That's crazy. Nobody gives a shit about Derek Jeter anymore. How do you going to say that? Dude, isn't he like fucking Jennifer Lopez or something? He's been to team the 13 fucking championships. You, you, you're about to lose your Puerto Rican card, bro. You can't immediately spout off facts about baseball. I have fond, I have fond memories of Derek Jeter and baseball and all this shit.

But, like, nobody cares about, like, I guarantee you, if you, Derek Jeter will never trend again. When he dies, he'll trend. And that's about it. That's so, you sound like a disgusting little millennial. He's like a disgusting little Gen Zier. I'm just, I'm just correct. He's never going to trend again. You're never going to get enough likes.

You're never going to do it. You can't do it. I'm just saying it's not like the most relevant thing to New York right now. He's a legend in New York. You know how New York is about the culture, bro? I understand. But like no one, people might respect, but everyone forgot. No.

Everyone forgot. I assure you everyone forgot. Everyone forgot who Derek did. That's the most crazy shit ever. Go go. No, remember when you say it. Go into a bodega. Go into a bodega in the Bronx.

It's going to the bodega connected to the part. and build and I grew up in and you'll walk in there and there's a fucking literally there shows all the championships the Yankees have won and then it's a picture of Jada and the bottom swinging. I understand.

But I'm saying this. To L.A. He is. He's not as big as Kobe as L.A. though. He's not as big. I think Kobe is definitely. I mean, he definitely transcends because like, yeah.

Kobe is different. I love Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant is my favorite basketball player. I'm from New York City. where we hate him. Yeah. Yeah. There's no,

I like that, there's no baseball transcendence. Like, nobody cares that much about baseball. There's a few, but there's not, there's,

but that's the thing, but that's what I'm saying. It's like baseball as a sport. It's like, it's an American pastime, but it's not really anymore. Like, no one cares about it now.

That's why MLB is on every console now because they gotta fucking sell more. People really care about baseball, man. It's wild. And they shouldn't. That's what's, it's fucking insane to me.

I'm not saying people don't care. I'm saying, this is the same. exact conversation with the fucking Batman shit. It's not that people don't know. It's that most people don't. Most people don't give a shit about baseball anymore. This isn't 2002.

That's weird. That's weird because in California, people really care about baseball, bro. They do. People really care about baseball, particularly in California. Just not nearly as much as they did. Because all the Mexicans are trying to pretend to be Dominicans, and they're just... That's so disrespectful. That's so disrespectful, but true.

They're not The same Northern Mexico Northern Mexico Really likes baseball Okay Yeah Northern Mexico

Can Northern Mexico Go home Fuck those guys Here's the thing Here's the thing though Like a lot of Spanish cultures really do Like just romanticize

America Like they just do Like in Cuba And in like I don't know if it's necessarily In Puerto Rico In the Dominican Republic too

But like They're obsessed With like 50s cars Like there's There's a massive obsession around like Ford cars and like all these old school like American made vehicles for whatever the fuck reason because they're just into it there because it's like old American stuff. It's almost like hand me down sometimes. And I feel like baseball is that hand me down.

Like we don't care. Here you go. We're done with this kind of. Because nobody who's the most famous baseball player today? Do you know? Today. Mike Trout. I don't know.

Exactly. You say him? I don't know exactly I think that was years ago. Personally, I don't want baseball anymore. Here's what I'm saying, though. When we were kids, we all knew that answer. It was A-Rod.

It was A-Rod and Derek Jeter. We could tell you that these people were like beyond, like, and then before that, it was Mark McGuire and fucking Sammy Sosa. Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds in his fucking forehead. Barry Mons featured his forehead. And yeah, that you're actually, that's a great point, though. That is actually a really good point.

We're also boomers that play. We're also boomer video gamers now. We don't watch anything. But that's true at the same time. But still, there's no like there's who's the ambassador of baseball. Who's the face of baseball? Like that's actually true. Like I do.

There isn't one that's big enough. But that's, I guess that's, there's, um, even, even like, say football only has that because Tom Brady's still around. Exactly. You know, like there are some people that are really huge, obviously. but like say especially Who's that piece of shit on Kansas City That just got like $400 million

I forgot I haven't watched baseball I've got football in a while Patrick Mahomes Patrick Mahomes Uh is in Kansas City He's been here for like three years And fucking already been in like Super Bowl Like twice and already won it Like it's insane

An athlete insane But like it's gonna take a while for him To be like a face Tom Brady there's a face Baseball Who the fuck? Like I got a little look it up right now Most famous baseball player right now

right now. Even in 2005, things were like, what? Who's that King Griffey Jr.? It's Mani Ramirez. But I only know that. I can't believe you said that. I was just trying to... I can't hear you said that.

I was like, what? I was trying to think of something. You know what's crazy? The first moment you said that, I was like, dude, you mean a black guy from fucking, what you call it? The black guy that I went to jail? Because I thought you were talking about freaking what's your name?

DMX? He was in a don't. He was on Dumpin, which is called something McGuire. He was in Jerry McGuire. What's his name? Oh, Cuba. Cuba, Good and Jr. Cuba Good and Jr.

And I was like, Can't Griffey Jr.? Cuba Good and Jr.? I got to jail? Jesus Christ. Look, I typed in most famous baseball players right now, and it did. Number one, it says Mike Trout. So I think I just guessed right.

Yeah. I have no clue who that guy is. I know who Mike. I'll only know because, like, when I was briefly trying to show some rally, you know, because I lived in Orange County, so it was like Anaheim Angels. So I tried to show some support.

I knew a little bit about the Angels. And then when they became the Lost Angels of Anaheim, I gave less of a fuck because it's just, how disgraceful is that shit? It's like, oh, we're going to have this team not in L.A., but it represents L.A. I was like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, the angels too.

It's so stupid. All right. Well, I think that'll be it. This is a long one. Yeah, fuck baseball. So, uh, if you like what you heard today somehow, if you liked any of that. Somehow. This episode was a mess.

This episode was a fucking mess of an episode. Fucking disaster. Fucking horror story. I'll clean it up, maybe. Nah. Don't even do anything to it. Don't do anything to it. I just put it up as is.

You disappeared for 10 minutes. A bunch of fucking things popped up during the call because of me. Oh, yeah. I think people might enjoy it. I should just post this unedited just so people could see how bad it can get. But, oh my God, my God. If you like what you heard today,

consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. I feel like I had a stroke there for a second. Hold on, got to open the Patreon. You sure you can do the names today? I want you to fucking fall asleep in the middle of doing it. I might Success starts with your drive And American Public University is here to fuel it

With affordable tuition And over 200 flexible online programs APU helps you gain the skills And confidence to move forward Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh Or pursuing a lifelong passion Our programs are designed for people who never stop You bring the fire

APU will fuel the journey Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get a bigger and badder and our army grows so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan what would I do if I got into an accident probably the easiest way is dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow Dan Morgan from Morgan from Morgan's large injury law firm thanks for coming by the show

thanks for having me visit for the people.com for an office near you I might die. But it'll be worth it, I think. You know, at least I died COVID. Well, actually, I'm not COVID-free. I have it in my body. That's uncomfortable. It's an uncomfortable.

Should have got a Pfizer, man. They did a better, a different process. He probably wouldn't feel as well-up. The Johnson and the Slontsian and Schlonson's feeling really good in me, man. No clots on me. You're about to get fucking blood clots in your eyes. He stands up to go to the bathroom and his leg is looks like Squidward's legs. I'm Jamaican, I was born of blood clots, man

I was born of blood clots, I'm fine I was bored with blood clots Oh my god Holy fuck Okay, watch your mouth Alright Okay One dollar a month

One dollar a month gets you early access to every episode And access to bonus solo episodes Derricks is going up real soon by the way So there'll be two episodes for you to go through And Sweeney's done with his So that'll go up soon too $5 gets you a question read on the show $10 gets you access to our Discord server.

That's one payment and you're in for good. And 25 gets your name dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will do now. You know to count me down? Three, two, one. You're not... Ooh, oh, okay, interesting. You're not the only trans person watching these hymboes.

Look at us. What is... So, oh, so last episode, we had somebody who said their name was like the only trans person watching this, listening to this podcast. So we've got, we've got multiples. We're starting to get more diverse, more diverse. We are more diverse. First, culturally now sexually? Well, I'll be gay if we need it.

I mean, I've been, but I'm just, I'm at the whole closet thing going on. Yeah, well, if we're talking about trans, we're not talking about gayness, we're just talking about... No, no, no, I understand. But, like, just to diversify us sexually and like from like... Oh, I see, I see. I mean... Well, I guess it is more of a gender identity thing. Well, uh, we'll, hey, we'll talk, you know, anybody, we'll talk.

Anybody will talk, anybody will talk, all right? I'm not picky at all. We got any fucking animals listening? What up? All right. Zavala. All right. Zavala, Phil.

Eris Morns three acolyte eye sockets with his luminous awoken semen God, fuck, I will take the whole snark tank crew to Brazil as punishment for their sins. When in doubt, spuluge it out.

Snarkaleptic spank tank, the trans girl that will fuck your mom so she can say God, these are getting crazy. So she can say she fucked your mom and she's gay. Oh my fucking God. Goops McKeown. Kenzie. That's really fucking funny, dude.

Keep it up. That's such a Bart Simpson-ass fucking, you know. It's just, it's so silly that, like, I can't help but think it's funny. This house was built with my, this house was built with cum. My soul. It is, is, it's fireplace. I sold my kidney this morning. That's his name.

Is every, like, everyone has cum in their name. What the hell's going on? Hey, man. We did this. We don't talk about come that much. We talk about it more than people should. I guess. That's true.

This isn't a doctor's office. Levi Sutton, Mrs. Mike Rapini, two fetuses is tied together and used as nunchucks. Femboy Hooters waiter. Sammy and his big titty fishy. Charlotte Jerd. It looks French, but it's probably not. Dr.

hand, cuckoo, the cotton candy coming clown of Chris's deepest fantasies. Cotton candy coming clown, Jesus. Pryoraz. My name, oh. I just slowed down. All right. All right. My name is DMX, and I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.

Oh, no. That is why I hesitated. Come, man, the man of come, big dick telotubby, watch this. while you watch this tummy while you gurgle that coming that's magic

that's magic bro that is magic it's so stupid and it's not even clever but it works that's pretty clever

dude I'm sorry 896 pin yap vivo the epic Ashwat silly putty eater raw butt gorilla meme

the ultra and the ultra smurfs Chris knowingly carries a knife in his knapsack knapsack to knife a night

in the knee Ace man fucking kill me subscribe to Dr. Purple on YouTube DMX wasn't paying his medical bills so when the cops came to arrest him they accidentally killed him with their knee what a shit

head. Oh my God! You're the worst why is your guys gopillar picture his fucking Picard too makes it even worse what a last. Holman Brown 98 Diego Andres Hernandez Hey boss no seriously please follow me on Twitter I am but a humble peasant wishing to have the whole Snark Trinity. Ryan Lucchese

What's the difference between Chris and Castro? I'd revive Castro because he actually had the ray gun. I don't know what that means. That's a call a duty joke. Huh? That's a called duty joke, definitely. I wish I got it.

All I know is that it's a call duty joke. Slashy scout. Atrosone, I'm rogue warrior. I kill people while telling them their parents hate them. Wipe is cheating on them and their dog is deceased. Bless Mickey Roark, man. God bless that game.

Quivering cloaca, if you don't know, that's the hole on an animal. Fuck you. You're such a shithead. Tommy, I'm not even, these are getting so long. Tommy, the atrocious alien fucker, please check out my podcast called How Did We Get Here? Every Thursday. Leroy Jenkins. God damn it, Michelle Obama accidentally sat on the drone strike button again.

In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie is $2.50, whereas a slice is $3 in the Bahamas. it's just pirates of the Caribbean you're such a shit That's so fucking I can't believe that I want that person This person's house sunk I want somebody to sink

Sunk You come to me again I'll sink your house That is so That's terrestrial damage bro I want his house sunk That's some shit that a god That's some shit that a god would tell another

God. Flippiap, forcing Chris to put on Femboy socks. Hard hat skydiver. Flipyap and Pinyap, all these fucking grunt names. Ben Shapiro's secret OACAOC worship room. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian. Lord Gavin. Whoever comes after the Hey You and Skyrim guy should continue the meme for Chris's comfort.

God, no. What else? asshole. I was clock blocked by a turtle. Alaskan oilfield trash. Lieutenant Lippton's famous teaback facials. Not an FBI agent. Juan Punchman. Marcus Shorten, Mr. Fuck. Jim Crow's daddy issues. Abusi, Popa Nurgle. Tom Sweeney's ropy streams and clam sauce bakery. Tom Sweeney Whipping a whimpering discord wumpus. Chris Comster dumpster. Nice. Murder ascended. David Connelly to the sexic that feels Chris's pain. Skydiver,

contemplating if today is the day he just doesn't open his parachute. lobotomized Jesus is my drooling divine savior Haco, seven-year-old fetus, Moto Zelet, hey, you're finally awake. You're trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that imperial ambush. Same as us. Hiroshima's spicy mushrooms.

Wintuwatsu, the African little pussy, kill that cockroach and take that pussy. Derek's unyielding sex drive. Dummy thick Dave, heartless wretch, a.k.a. The Ebonye's Goblin from the dump of New York City. Uncle Tony's Pizzeria in an abortion clinic where today's loss is tomorrow sauce. I think this guy might be dead.

The Rune Tutin. pussy chewing booty luten seaman shooting sex machine God what a waste is I clicked that and waited for it to load just for the fucking just for sex machine

Sex machine Sex machine Jackson Absege Badly Brave Jolly Old Dipht Hugged Eric the movie Theater assistant manager Ethereum Mrs. Butterhart McCormick Chris Gate my Progerian hunting ass

Deflated left ass cheek All hands on dick arrow Sunny Chance Chris you should listen to one armed scissors By at the drive And it's a good song This guy keeps recommending Difference

He actually goes through the trouble of like recommending a different song every week. Okay. Not bad. Not bad. Melfis I, Harbinger of the corporate internet. Richter 86 and rounding things all off.

The king. Hopefully still with us, King of Hapazard. Woo! Those are getting insane. Those are getting wild. These are getting, we got to.

Yeah, up and again. You got up it again, man. We, I don't want to raise the price because I think we're doing good. No, fuck no. I think we're doing good with 25. 25 is fine. That's a lot.

You gotta shorten it. You gotta shorten it. Because I will, I will not. I'll tell you what, I'll read your long names up until the point the little asterisk come out. But like I've been making an effort to not do that. Click through and read the whole thing. But at a certain point, I just got to get through this.

That's abuse. It's abuse. Hey, man. Abusi. Niggas got, got to get the money's worth, man. Nogues got to get the money's worth. That pirate guy. Pirate to the character.

being. That's fantastic. Pirates, yeah. That's one of those jokes you just get beaten up for. Yeah. That's a joke that somebody administers you with a vaccine like on purpose

the wrong way. That's a kind of joke that like if you say that shit can you get a vaccine anywhere but your shoulder? Like what the he puts it in your head of your penis? Not even in the tube. It's the fucking head of your dick. All right.

All right, episode, episode done, episode down, episode down, episode done. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu. With the Venmo debit card, a taco in one hand, and ordering a ride in the other, means you're stacking your rewards. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo stash on your favorite brands

when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment, and more. Pick a bundle with your go-tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Do more stash, get more cash. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at Venmo. me slash stash terms max $100 cash back per month.