The Snark Tank - #67: EDP445 Returns?

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

EatDatPussy445 returning after confessing to a concerning method of cupcake acquisition? Is Twitch finally banning Hot Tub streams? Chris and Sween debate the likelihood of aliens being exactly the same as humans and Derrick laments the passing of MySpace. Botox, cumming confetti, sitcom casts battling to the death and more on todays Snark Tank! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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We got this month, boy, this month, summer kicks in, officially white boy summer. Give it up. That's right. Give it up. What the hell is that? I don't like you just said that. I don't like you just said that. As a black man, you were like, give it up.

White boy summer. It's on its way. It's on its way. We can't stop. They're almost here. I have no idea what that even means. I don't even know where it came from. White boy summer.

The summer that everyone becomes a white boy. That's horrible. That's scary. Yeah, I don't want that at all. Could you imagine me going through the transition in my room? Guys, something's wrong. I like the cops. I like the cops.

The police don't seem as scary to me anymore. What's happening? Do you see that video of the, this it's the wildest twist of a video I've seen in a while it's this lady she's getting pulled over by a cop

and she's like why are you harassing me? Why are you harassing me murderer? You're a murderer. What's your last name? I can't see that there well here you go murderer. Stop shaking zoom in on that for me right? No because you're scaring me you're threatening to kill me and my son

murderer and she just calls him a murderer for like three straight minutes and you think it's like an ACAB kind of person like an all cops are bad type deal and then she just pulls out there you go Mexican racist you're always going to be a Mexican you'll never be white you know that right you'll never be white which is what you really want to be plot twist you know there's more there's more there's more story under the top of the story yeah that's like uh it's like get out almost it's like a huge twist. It's like,

that's the same of that movie we saw together and we saw the scene and we couldn't believe it. Like we had to leave the room. Oh, sorry to bother you. Yeah, sorry to bother you. That's an insane movie, man.

There's a scene in that movie that I've never, that is the greatest twist. That is the greatest twist in human's history. Like, I've never seen that before. Yeah. Better than a deep blue sea or whatever with the shark eating Samuel Jackson.

Yes. That was a twist. people consider that a twist that's a moment in a movie it's like yeah that twist in spider man too when dr octopus dies yeah this shit was crazy man here's the twist for everybody listening this is the snark tank podcast and welcome

we're uh we're we're back we had a bit of a bit of an issue for like two weeks there where my fucking hardware just fucking died and malfunctioned uh we missed a decent amount of stuff And yet at the same time, I feel like we didn't miss that much. I feel like the big thing... The big thing that, you know, it was a bit of a talk of the town that I thought was over with by now, but turns out it just keeps going.

There's more plot. That pussy, 4-5, YouTuber, kind of a meme lord. that he was sending pictures he's sending pictures of his own shit to 13 year old girls this is not like normal Chris Hansen shit this is like extra level

I would say it's pretty fucking I think I think that's what they would all do right they were just sick fuck sending shit and trying to bang the youth it's one thing to sex and it's another thing to literally send a picture of your own feces as like a flirtation method for children.

That is like... Oh, wait, I didn't... I thought shit was a euphem... I didn't know literal shit. No, it was metaphoric, no, it's just straight shit. I didn't know that, actually. This is how he flirted with people. I don't understand the...

What is the marketing tactic there? Well, you know what? It's not a market. It is someone who's fucked up and like shit. And they think I like shit, so maybe you'll like shit. Dude, what else can it be? Dude, it is the EDP 445 situation is one of the most insane situations I've ever seen on YouTube. It's like Tom and Jerry's shit, dog.

It's just a fucking exscapade. It's just like, what the fuck is it going to happen next? It's like a cartoon. It's like none of it. He gets caught by these like predator poacher guys. By the way, the people who caught EDP and EDP are, like both of them have been banned from YouTube. I think both of their channels are purged.

They're all, they're all of them are fucking gone. Because like, the guy who caught him was like also like insane and like doing some creepy shit. So it's like, it's how you manage to out an alleged pedophile. And I'm saying alleged for security reasons. I don't want to get fucking suit.

Sure. Sure. And alleged how you out somebody like that and get them to confess to everything on camera. And you come out the other side. Lately, car buying has become a pretty, dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of

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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing

pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. With people still not liking you. That is, well, impressive. Well, remember, I don't remember what episode it was, but I was saying that I always find it a little bit Suss. You know, I just, I just remember there being a tweet of somebody freaking out about the word Suss in like anime or something. Oh my God. Oh yeah. So I just, I had to use it. Uh, so there, uh, I just find a suspicion of the people that go hard in the paint on that stuff

where it's like they're, when they focus so hard on it, I'm like, something isn't right here. It's almost like they're bringing people to justice because they feel guilty about what they're doing. It reminds me back in like 2017. There were a lot of like outspoken male feminists who were out like kind of like really going hard on like social issues and like going really hard on like social justice causes. And it was like it was one of the same. It's one thing if you like believe that and you advocate for it every now and again or if you're like, I don't know, if you're like if you're like the head of an organization that does that kind of a thing. Then it would make sense that a lot of your feed would be like kind of occupied by that kind of stuff. But when it's just like these like kind of paltry kind of like normal dudes who like constantly talk about it,

it begins to arouse suspicion where it's like, why are you so, why are you trying very hard to paint this picture? Yes. And it turns out just so happens a lot of the. them got like outed for like shit and yeah right women's rights is so important dude it's so important that it ignores the fact that i've done horrible things to women myself you know like fuck this shit i did there's different things going on now and that's more important than me yeah there's like there's like an air of there's like an air of guilt with it you did something bud yeah and it's like the difference right between it's it's it's like uh where when i would make my

content i would really try to differentiate because there's the blanket term like oh it's just liberals or whatever the case is and i'm like no these people like i have no problem i live in california i have progressive friends but there's a big difference between progressives and progressive ideologues just like in anything else when you when it becomes like i like an ideologue type of zealotry then that's where the shit's fucked up not exactly the the subject itself or say i have plenty of people in my family who are religious, but then there's the zealots that I can't fucking stand. I love zealots, man. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. They're actually around you. If you have to deal with them, they're fucking insufferable. And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, I keep my distance, but still, it's funny to look at them because they're just going to, they're going to self-destruct. You can't care about anything that much without dying. It's also worth noting just, it's also worth noting that just like so many of those people,

they would, like, it was, it was, it was, um, pretty hollow and empty advocacy. like they would they would tweet about shit but they wouldn't really do anything like they didn't they weren't they weren't it was all for show and like then they got outed and then like a bunch of people man like a lot you could go through the

Twitter history of everybody who's been like Josh Whedon was like a huge one I was just about to say Josh Whedon that shit called me slipping bro I remember I was like what I remember when he was he was like he was like saying weird shit on Twitter and everybody was like why like what's up like it just

came out of nowhere and then like came out recently that he's like the worst fucking person. It's like, well, that's not surprising. Because it's like it's almost like there's almost like covering up. It's like, okay, well, if I say enough good shit, then like maybe I won't arouse suspicion, but it's like what happens is, what happens is

this, like they do fuck shit, right? And then they just, people do fuck things, right? And they're like, this guy's fucked up. I did something and that's not bad, but this guy that's fucked up. They try to validate the shit that they do be saying other people do worse shit that's what people do all the time and it's

like not even not you're not even not even the same shit it's straight up the same like just straight up the same like just straight up the literally the exact thing that they call it the people out for they they they not only have they done it but they do it like it's not even like a do it it's not even like i used to do this or i used to be a i used to you know operate in a way and now i don't it's literally just like I have been only I pretend like I'm not. Yeah. I think just only subconsciously they're aware of how fucked up they are. And then they play the mental gymnastics in their conscious mind where it kind of like

Bill Cosby is the coolest one. The coolest. The coolest. Bill Cosby's the coolest one, guys. Let's hear it. Let's hear them out. All right. Everybody, for everybody gets mad at that.

Let's hear out what Bill Cosby is cool about. right guys. Dude, Bill Cosby's fucking dope. Back to Derek. No, what I mean is he has the most interesting case of that cognitive dissidents where he'd fucking, you know, fucking three-point splash bros, the Kualooleud in their drinks and shit. And then fucking do what he does all horrifically. And then the next day or something, he'd fucking call them up and just wish them well and say,

be careful. There's rapists everywhere. boobla-gobody and I was gonna compare him to I was gonna compare him to OJ but I was just like let's not no because OJ probably never Oh J probably never talked about not killing people You know OJ OJ OJ you know what it's like it's it's like this

If somebody spends a lot of time tweeting Murdering people is bad There's no good excuse to murder a person They tweet it once they tweet it again the next day Then they tweet it like again a week later Then they tweet like PJW the PJW with the freaking the pegging thing. It's like, bro, we know you're

a backdoor bandit, bro. Come on. That's shut up. That's real talk. That's real talk. That's another thing too. We talk about this all the time. The people who like get on all these like OnlyFans girls cases about like how they're like making a ton of money on Onlyfans. And then they're in their DMs like hitting on them. It's the same as that shit dude.

Yes. The Western civilization is being destroyed and meanwhile they have like their exact account tied to all these like please step on my balls and call me mom. Call me your son. And it's like, what are you fucking doing? The best one I've seen, the best one I've seen is like, send me a picture of your asshole. I don't want to see any specks of white.

That means he just wants a picture of an asshole. He just wants a straight photo of an asshole only wrinkles. And I was just like, damn, bro. That's weird. That's great. That's, you can't just cut that out in this. That's, but you can if you really want to. It's a lot of work.

To make it a high-depth image is clearly a lot of. of work. I feel like PJW is into like gaping porn because he's like, I could stick my hand in there. You know, like, I just feel like he's like, it just gives him like, because he can't do anything with his hands, right? They're too destructive. They're too destructive. He can slap his dick off his body.

I feel like with gaping, he's like, that's something that he can possibly deal with. maybe like a girl could probably take his hand. Yeah, I want to see his hard drive. That's what I'm talking about. I want to see what the fuck's on his hard drive. That's, dude, that's a, I wish I had a power like that. Yeah, man. Power.

You could see what's on people's hard drive. Just to know, not even to use it, but just to know for yourself to like be like, oh man, I know. I know what you do. Yeah. I don't want to use it for everyone. I don't want to use it for ADP, obviously. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Oh, no, EDP is a fucking, dude, I've been. I was a fan of EDP ever since he was, he had that video where he said he shot his fucking neighbor's dog. That was like four years ago. That video had me in tears because he said he just shot his neighbor's dog that kept yapping. And I was like,

that's a sign of something not okay. But you know what? Whatever, it's funny. And now there's this. And I'm like, whoa, well, that's the thing. He had all these videos being like, because these allegations have come up before. And his response has always been just like,

you really think, I would throw my whole life away. And it's like, the first, look, the first time, Fish bump, I wish I had sunglasses.

That shit had me in tears, bro. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That's awesome to do that. The video of him getting caught, man. That should be our part.

That should be the, that needs to be the fucking, what you call it for our video today. The thumbnail The thumbnail Fist bump The thumbnail The thumbnail is definitely going to be

The EDP fist bump I can't think of a more Perfect image But It's just the video of him getting I had never seen EDP's whole body I didn't know he looked like

A black Spiderverse King's King's pen He looks like a marshmallow He looks like a fucking marshal Dude I'm Gordito I'm made it any day I'm a little I'm a little gordo I got a tummy on me

You're not that Gordo Nobody's that But that man is gortonymous. That man is gortonymous, right? That man's a rasphere. Dude, it was a fucking gas giant forming. It was like just like, it was beginning. And then it hasn't spun enough to become like, you know, like spherical.

It's just starting to form. So it's just a giant mass of stuff. Do you think his, maybe a black hole even? Do you think his abduction strategy was he would just walk close enough to kids so that they would get sucked into his orbit? We're making fat jokes right now Holy shit Okay guys That fat nigger man

You just fucking trying to Look look look Guys guys Guys don't body shame the pedophile Look Look Look Look look

His size has nothing to do with the fact That he Is a pedophile He tried to pedify But maybe it does I don't think it does You don't know his fucking journey Yeah I'm be honest

I was so disappointed I was a fan of the guy But the thing is nobody Absolutely nobody watches him consistently So everyone missed these allegations Like you know like I think I saw him Like the like you said You found him with the dog shooting

I think I saw the video called Is Jacking Off a Sport or something Or should it be a sport Dude And it's like stupid shit like that I'm like oh I like this guy And you just can't When I saw it was on Philip DeFranco's show

He showed a clip of one of him reacting to the allegations. And he was like... Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Cayman's in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.

That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamond. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Am I? Do I have a six sense of humor? Yes. semi-pedophile. He said it's so convincingly like, fuck no. He was so convincing watching that. So I understand why people that follow him probably believed him. They're like,

yeah, he doesn't seem like the type of person that would. And then it's wild though. Why would you at least wear, I mean, I don't know, man. Like that is such, I mean, I know he's huge. I know he's like planetary, but I mean, like, there's still clothes that fit everybody. The biggest issue with what transpired was definitely his wardrobe and nothing else. Yeah, that's the most egregious thing to me. It's the most egregious. No cap. Dude, that video of him getting caught, though, is like, it is one of the most genuinely entertaining things I've ever seen.

He speaks to these people for 40 minutes for like a long time. The guy was directing it. He was directing the camera. He was like, follow him. Get closer. Get closer. But what I love about it is actually, I was here to get a cupcake. A cupcake.

A cupcake. My life over, buddy. I'm my life over, buddy. What is that? I'm fucking sure you are. I could get a cupcake in one minute and it would involve no contact with a 13-year-old girl. It would be so easy. Ever, ever, ever.

Cupcake procurement is shockingly simple. But it's really interesting, though. When you think about this, because there was a part, one of my favorite shows was to catch a predator because of these people's reactions. and to a certain extent a part of me thought like this has to be bullshit because of some of their responses but this really shows you that when you're caught like this

you can't think of anything better on the spot I was going to get some cupcakes like there's people that say like oh I was just here to hang out with like oh I just wanted to stop by and bring them fucking pizza and beer and condom like I'm like dude you you can't think of something I guess you can't think of anything better

can't lie your way out of that situation. Here's what happens. I think your brain just tells you you have to lie. You can't be honest. You're going to be dead. You're going to be thrown into a... Your life is destroyed.

You have to lie. But then you know that you can't really because there's no appropriate lie that explains it. So you're just locked into this battle between like you know that you can't get out of it but your like survival instincts tell you that you have to try.

So you just have these terrible, terrible excuses. Like, I came to get a cupcake. There's nothing better than Chris Hansen's entries, bro. Tough night, huh? Tough night, huh? Some sort of party. Where's my invite? That was my favorite one.

I was like, what? So I've been seeing these takes around the internet, too, lately. People are turning on Chris Hanson, specifically because of the way that he handled the Onisian thing. But aside from the, the Onesion thing. I've seen people be like, yeah, those to catch a predator things are like really bad because they, they, uh, they interfere with, uh, genuine investigations and apparently like maybe some people don't go to jail, uh, because of, of the, the way that he handles it.

At the same time, though, dude, those people's lives are like fundamentally ruined because of that show. You know, like, even if they don't go to prison, they are famous pedophiles that, like, they can't, At the very least, there's like... Infamous. Yeah. Famous, Chris. Well, come up. I mean, it's basically...

Semantics. Yeah, it's basically the same. Famous. The famous pedophile. Well, I mean... Yeah, okay. Yeah, I know. We know what should be bad.

There are famous. Oh, yeah. What is? There's a famous pedophile. But then they convert into infamy, though. That's true. Usually, usually... It turns in infamy.

Usually it becomes infamy pretty quick. But I don't... I don't know, man. That video is like one of the most wild things. That is honestly, it's one of the most wild things I've ever seen happen on YouTube, like just straight up. Like, I've never seen anything happen like this. It was so funny. It was, it was every kind of cinema. Nobody knew that this shit even existed.

Predator Proachers? Yeah, yeah. Like, I never heard of this. And then they're, and then they're psychos too. There's like fucking unhinged lunatics. Yeah, that fucking guy with the beard, uh, there's all these. He's just, he's just like dropping the end bomb. so gleefully.

Like that's like, that was his thing. Didn't he call like a BLM thing and like just shout the N-word at him like a bunch of times? Yeah, I think he like trolled a hotline or something. I forgot what it was. But yeah, he did something like that too. Just there was a bunch of footage. There was way too much footage. And then I saw a video of him responding to it like, oh, I don't apologize for work.

Just being like a, just a cunt. Just an absolute fucking dumpster fuck. Yeah, but I'm sure there's other stuff though that got his channel nuke because just him being a douche bag is not enough to nuke his channel. Yeah, no. So there's probably some way other weird degeneracy, some weird shit going on before we just get nuked alongside with DDP. There's no,

there are no heroes. Killed me, bro. That shit killed me. I was like, because you were looking at it and I was like, what are you looking at me? He's like, yo, come look at this. And he said some shit that I, like, I was watching that video and I felt like

I was watching like a fucking, I was watching Tenant. There's so much shit I couldn't believe what's happened I was like what's going on here dude The fact that there's the video is almost an hour long It's still I can't wrap that around my head You should really watch it Derek It's a wild experience

It's wild it's hard dude like I'm telling you I was genuinely disappointed To the point where like I can't sit and watch the whole thing Because I'm just like I can't fucking believe This guy that I was excited When he when I forgot what it was an interaction on Twitter

like before my my original account that got nuked like we had an interaction on Twitter and I remember being like oh that was cool like I remember that shit being like because I respected him and so now I'm just like

I don't want to watch you know somebody said like that what's that a fucking why do I want to see Alfred quote when he says like you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain I thought that was what his name?

That was What who said that? Two-Faces quote Oh, Two-Face said it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alfred said some men just want to watch the world burn. That's right. Some men want to watch the world burn.

That's so disrespectful, but continue. I was going to Tuket a cupcake master white. That's okay. I wasn't really familiar with him. I know because we mentioned him briefly on the podcast before, I think like several, like a long time ago. I think, I think either, one of you or both of you brought him up, because there was something viral that was happening.

And I was like, oh, yeah, I've never, I never heard of him. Like, I think I might have seen, like, a video of him, like, probably, like, on Vine or something. Like, I feel like I saw clips of him somewhere. But I never, like, knew that he had, like, a real channel that you, I thought it was just, like some, like, you know, like, that fucking meme guy who died recently, the guy who's, uh, it's that giff of him laughing, the old Spanish man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. like the yeah i thought it was like that i didn't know he had like a channel and like it like

yeah like he actually had a fucking follow i i totally totally that surprised the fuck out of me yeah following bro i watch his i i'd see his videos on my subscription feed what's crazy about all this though uh they directed that video of port i i can't believe that they called the cops at the end and just let him get away that is like some of the most insane shit like you're so it's so irresponsible the way they did it but um the reason we're talking about it, even though it's kind of old news, is because, like, in the last day or two,

he, uh, post it again on Facebook. And the video that he posted is literally, it just doesn't address anything at all. He's just like, Hey, is your boy, EDP 445 coming at you with some pussy stank

or, like, some nonsense, just the normal shit that he would say. And he's talking about, like, starting a website and how he's, like, going to make videos on his website again. It's just like, the audacity, dude. Because, listen, because pedophiles have been exposed on YouTube before, you know.

They've, like, I remember, like, a while ago. Was that Austin guy or whatever? Yeah, Austin, something. Jones? Jones? I think that sounds right. It sounds right. I'm just verify it.

Yeah, I don't want to accuse some random Austin Jones. Austin Jones is like, bro, what guys? Should be very accurate. What? And, of course, we're all talking about allegations here. You're pretty convincing. but I mean it's not proven in a court of law

but it's you know there's that line maker guy from like a while ago there's a lot of there was a lot there was a big thing in the Minecraft community for a while but never never has there been a video of one of these people

showing up and they're being like a Chris Hanson style confrontation and just just a complete confession just straight up just like yeah you know sometimes I'm just lonely

You know and it's just like holy shit What are you doing? Shut up at least Like leave That's how I like That's how I feel It's like it's almost like you know Mercy for It's like it's so

It's kind of like how the way that Christianity wants you to be Like merciful towards like even like really fucked up people I almost feel that way where I'm like Just go home You piece of shit You're gonna stay there for a fucking hour?

I was hoping... Just go straight... Just go to jail, dude. Do not... Just go to pass... Go or whatever. Go. Just go to jail.

Go straight to jail. That's like... I just can't suffer that fucking hour of him just... I couldn't believe it. And like you just said, Chris, like where he said he's low... He said he's lonely. This is why he did it. And then the guy...

This was all on... I saw this clip. This is the only shit that I saw was on Phil de Franco show. And one of the skinny guy with the... mask on said, bro, isn't your like DMs just like filled with girls that want to bang you? And then he says, EDP says, oh yeah. And I'm just like, yeah. Then what are you doing?

It's such a fucking terrible excuse, man. He's got a 2 million subscriber channel. He's, you know, he's not the most attractive person in the world. Yeah. But there are people will. They're star bangers. They're people of your age. Or even people who are younger that are legal.

God forbid just at least at the very least That's the bar right I have a video that I'm working on kind of about this But like the bar for being like an okay person is so Low right now It's very low it's very easy to be reasonable It's so easy Yo look look

It's it's so easy to just fuck Of age pussy I always have to remind myself though man Like the people that Because you have to think of it from our perspective. We like women that have curves and like tits and stuff and ass and stuff like that. You ain't getting that shit from a fucking 13 year old. It's mental illness.

It's definitely mental. It's definitely like some sort of mental problems. Something going on. And I won't even pretend to understand what it is because I can't see. I have no, because I'm like EDP. Like I'm sure there's big breasted fucking chicks that'll suck his dick off in his DMs. So why would you want that? So that's like...

They're in my DMs. If they're in my DMs, they're in everybody's DMs, though. I make it so apparent that I'm in a relationship and that shit is still in my DMs, bro. No, that's no, no, it's the, see, you're doing the reverse psychology thing, not on purpose. No, I'm not doing anything. No, I'm not doing anything. No, no, no, no, no, what I'm saying is... What I'm saying is...

I think we're saying the same thing. The public relationship aspect of that, like, it's more people will jump into your DMs if they know that you're not single. Why? Absolutely. It's just a thing. They want what they can't have, bro. They want what they can't have.

That's so stupid. Every person that does. You say that's stupid, but that's fucking real. Every person that's doing that, you're fucking stupid. You're fucking stupid. Give up. I remember when I was with Lacey, it was insane. I had just had to like, I literally just had to shut my DMs down.

And it was just like I was just like not responding at all. It was insane. Like, it happened a lot. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Cayman's in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.

That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.

eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Check this out, man. Do you have, it's, I put it on the same plane as playing a game on easy mode versus, like, nightmare. Where, like, there is a thrill and a rush. out of that much difficult,

the task that is much more difficult than just breezing through this shit. That's how a lot of people are. That is how a shitload of people are. People are sick, dude. They bring it into, well, yeah, like, look it. Like, they always say,

all's fair and love and war. So there's all those people that follow that creed, and there's a ton of them that don't give a fuck if you're in a relationship or not, and they will try to get at you for their satisfaction. Yeah. And you just have to just tell them to fuck off. It's pretty simple.

They're dumb for everyone that does that is stupid. I mean they may be stupid I don't want anything that's already possessed like our own or like I'm not possessed anything that's already owned owned or spoken for okay I agree with you bro because because one time during a stream

I said Chris was there with me it was really fucked I didn't mean to we were talking about we were talking about the most confusing creatures on a planet cucks we were talking about the most confusing character There's in the cast of humanity to me. There's the the base cuck.

And I was like, how would you, how would you let someone sleep with your wife? That's like your marriage is like a property. And people are like, you think women are possessions. And I was like, no, I don't think they're possessions. But I think your relationship is sort of a possession that you guys both hold. And I had to clarify that in the middle of the same. That's, you're basically, you're just trying to say it without saying it. I'm not saying that, bro.

You're kind of implying that you're Let's be real A good relationship in the most basic Way of thinking is that you both perceive that you own each other It's like when you say I'm yours your mind Yes dude it's just like this It's the most basic thing you can text somebody say like I'm so glad you're mine and it's like oh and then reply and I'm yours

It's like one of the most basic I've never said that I've never said that but I said I'm so glad I'm with you or that I have you I've got you Have is kind of the same It's the same thing That's semantics dude No no no no no no no no You're just trying to pretend like you don't

You don't think that women are property I don't think women are property Dude bitch if you're Look at look at it so if your girl said I'm so glad your mind What would you say? You'd be like I'm not yours bitch No No honestly you guys are both very well aware

How much I fuck on my girlfriend. I'd be like, dude, what'd you say? You said I'm yours like, I'm your property, bro? You know, I'm a black man, right? Dude, that's not fucking cool, girl. And then she'd be like, I can't stand you. And she wouldn't text me for a few hours. But yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Yeah, absolutely. No, but women are, women are property, though. Let's keep it. They're not. They're not. And if they are, how much is the fucking refund, bro? You know that, you know that song fucking OPP, dude? You downed OPP? Yeah, you know me. That's literally, that's literally about women because you know OPP stands for other people's property. Oh my God.

It's not it's not about way. I was fucking right. I'm gonna say, I don't think that's. It's not, it's literally about stealing shit though. I mean, it's,

it's a, it's such a nice song about robbing. You know, an OPP. Yeah, you know me. I'm gonna take your shit. I'm gonna take your shit from inside your house,

bitch. I love it. I love, I don't know. I guess sometimes that maybe I'm like, am I fucked up for like really liking shit like that? that's objectively fucked up when you like read into it and I was like oh this have you ever heard the song beat by 50 cent I'm not sure I'm not sure when you get a

chance listen to that song Derek and I'm sure you're gonna bop to it it's the most that's the first fucked up video I ever saw because the video is 50 cents rapping and they're jumping someone behind him and it's like 12 dudes beating up this one Chris size man and I'm like what the fuck dude And I'm like in my room like a 60 year old like jam into it. Like this is a great song. That's fucking great. That sounds ridiculous.

It does. That's my life. The only thing that I can remember that I saw recently that kind of blew my mind is there's this video that was kind of going vile for a minute of Joe Biden. And he was walking to Air Force One or something or some chopper or something. with his wife and he picked up a dandelion and gave it to her and a lot of like like newsmax and like o'an and those like those like those alternatives to fox news that are like further right they were like i saw this video of them they probably planted that dandelion and it was like yeah yeah that's how they get there it's a plant i couldn't it's real i couldn't i couldn't

I could not believe it when I saw it. I was like, that is, it was beyond parody. Like, just straight up. It's like something like you would write as like a joke. If I'm not mistaken, dandelions or weeds. Well, yeah, they're not mistaken. Right. But they're also plants.

But yeah, but they're there. And I was like, what? I'm trying to figure out why they think that's a problem. That's what my brain's going. It's just what they got to do. What? Did you see Tucker Carlson take his bullshit up to one billion.

Like, because you know he's always, Terry Carlson's one of those people that has no real opinion. Like he'll literally read whatever is being put in front of him. Yeah. And this shit is the, it was about like vaccines and stuff

and masks. Like it was like, oh, if you see someone wearing a mask in public, excuse me, you need to go up to them and tell them, will you please take that mask off? You're making me uncomfortable.

Like it's like, dude, he's going to get so many people fucked up. Oh, yeah, no. Yeah. Their heads bashed in. He's going to get a lot of people jumped for sure.

And then he took it even further to say that kids wearing a mask is child abuse. And people should call child services on people that are making their kids wear masks. And then he went on and on about vaccine. That was, it was the most insane rant that I think I've ever seen him go on for sure. Because I remember, I remember like a year or two ago he was like just kind of this. Eric Fox host that was like occasionally right like he would talk about like how like oh corporations have to make too much money

and like they should probably pay more in taxes like oh yeah on about foreign war sometimes like he was like oh shit that was real yeah but then like this past year man he's just lost his mind I don't know what the fuck happened but somebody put some shit in front you know what I think it was I'm theorized man

in one video I showed that oh in the very beginning of the pandemic he was for like mask and everything he was pro like common sense. Like, hey, bro, I want to continue subjugating and stealing all your guys's money, so we need to get back to life faster. And then a few months later, completely against them. And it's just like, oh, somebody in the network was like, you cannot do that. We're losing way too many ratings for you just being logical. And then they need to just completely, they're just

I feel like he like, because what he's saying, he can't honestly believe he would want you to call the cops on somebody making their kids have mask on. Like there's no way he can actually believe that. Yeah, that's insane. There's no way. There's no way. So, like, somebody wrote this fucking dumb-ass script and then he's just like, oh, I'll read anything for, you know, he's probably making like 40, 50 million a year or something. So he just has that, like, stunted face too. Every time he's like, anytime he's like interviewing someone.

You see that video of him interviewing Matt Gates when he would when when uh when he was like Matt Gates is the dude by the way he's like a he was like I forget he was like some I don't want to say congressman or like he was somebody in government or like a representative I think and he uh he got outed for like doing some like really creepy kind of like oh yeah he was like paying you like minors or something it was like emstein's not of it's confirmed yet because it's still kind of like like It's a very crazy saga. I haven't even really been able to keep in touch with it

because it goes in so many different directions. It's like that documentary tickled. It just ends in such a fucking... It goes way too many directions for me to pay attention to. But he was on Tucker Carlson's show trying to clear his name. And here's this dude associated with like, you know, child, you know, dating people underaged.

And he's on Tucker Carlson's show. And he goes, Tucker, you remember when you and I had that dinner? You remember when we went to... went to dinner that one time. You remember that, you remember when we hung out and all that stuff and like, you were with me? And Tucker's like, I have no recollection. He's like, dude, I bet that dude caught a beating after. Oh, yeah. Got his ass to beat, bro. They jumped him, bro. Tucker must have been so pissed. He's like, dude, I'm trying to help

you and you're fucking implicating me. You fucking shit. What is wrong with you, dumb asshole? And the Tucker Carlson's like, hey, Matt, Matt Gates, have you seen him? heat by a 50 cent and the fucking beat starts playing and they start jumping him bro one guy jumps off a table on to him dude not enough people have seen

heat by 50 cent we got to make that shit popular everyone that's watching this you guys are gonna think that was pretty fucking good dude it's not hard to impersonate he just has the same exact cadence every time he speaks and like he's and he's like lost like he'll like

So what is the left doing? Well, it looks like Oh, my peepee is getting shorter now. What is a surprise? I'm pretty sure my pee. My peepee has ran inside my body. My penis is inside me now. I'm sleeping with myself.

What is, what is so wrong? What is so wrong with having a micro penis? 90% of lefts say I'm gay. Lefts. Why is that? I got to look this person up. Give me a second. You've never seen Tucker Carlson.

No, guys. guys, I stay away from politics, man. I mean, he's just there, you know, he's, he just can't escape him. For some reason, his stupid face just shows up. He's, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a fellow to keep an eye on. But he's a fellow to keep an eye on. What the fuck? That's some shit my grandpa told me about mobsters in the city.

Well, he's the kind of fella you keep your eye on, all right? He's just a suspicious dude. Like, I've heard audio of him talking about how like, uh, he just kind of like simps for, like, the rich people to pay him. It's really awkward. Like, he was also like, he's also famous in part because he got made fun of on live TV by John Stewart. He made fun of his bow tie and everybody laughed at him. And I think it put him on some path to like become a super big.

That was his Joker moment, I think. Yeah. He saw, he was with John Stewart and he was like, no grown man should wear a bow tie like that. You're embarrassing. And then he went on a warpath. man. Yo, dude, that's just like fucking fucking getting shot on by Obama.

Ernie's like, oh, yeah. My dog, Bo, we're gonna fuck you in the ass or something. I'm pretty sure my dog Bo beat up your son. I'm pretty sure, Bo beat shot of your son. He's like, what's his son's name? Some sort of stupid-ass fucking name? Garland. I don't know.

General? Like, Zaldin? Some fucking. General. Is it like Barron? Like iPod or something? Barron. Who the fuck names your kid?

Barron? What a, like, he's, fucking idiot. Like Baron Von Strucker from Von. Yeah. What the bro? Barron.

My name isn't great. My name isn't great. All right. My name is pretty stupid. But Barron is a dumb name. No,

my name is adjacent to Barron. It is, unfortunately. I don't think Kingston's as dumb a name. Do you fucking, you cut the first syllable and you got king in your name, dude. Come on.

You can't beat that shit. Look, look. That's kind of dope. It's adjacent to Barron. No. Is it? Barron's like the most, isn't that, that's like the most, like royalty of like, I don't even think Barron's a bad name.

It's not a, it's just like, it's just from a specific era. Yeah. Like, Kingston is like, it's a fucking, it's a capital. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Regent or fucking Lord, Lord Duke. Dude, there's a guy. When my brother was applying for colleges, there was this fucking guy he had to speak to at, uh, It was UCLA.

This was one of them he was dealing with. And the guy's name is, literally this is his name, Lord Sirius. Lord Sirius. Wow. That's a real person. That's not even, somebody wouldn't even name a fictional character that because it would sound too unbelievable. I just want to like to shide on me. That's such an unbelievable thing.

Lord Sirius. Lord Sirius is his fucking name. That's worse than a name, Sirius Black. Serious Black is a stupid-ass name But that's a worst name Serious Black Serious Black was a really stupid name I love that's my favorite character

From that world But I still think his name is dumb as brits I like the tree Oh my God he you can Fucking Oh by the way he's a black man Wait let me see Lord Sirius

We can't do in the middle man We gotta do either fucking No this can't be the same person Liquidius Defercin or fucking Lord serious, man. There's no in between, man. There's no in between. Liquidious McFartin.

Liquidious. Liquidious. I've heard that name one time and I didn't want to find a person. You guys are out of your mind. What's, uh... What's your son's name going to be? Well, mine? Yeah.

Miles. Oh, that's... Like a regular ass name. I'm marrying a regular person. I can't have... Yeah, but it's just too easy, man. He's going to be like, oh, you name me after a character. Don't you love me, Dad?

I'm like, yeah, that's why I named you after him. I could have, I could have, I could have shot you into a silicon tube and then threw it away. But I could have shot it to a tube and threw it away. Chris, would you name your son a green day? Green day. He's going to name his son, Rise Against. I haven't thought at all. That would just be a feeling.

to my family then. Rise against. Come in the room rise against. And his son comes in and he's already a punk kid at too. He's already there. I don't like to get creative with kids' names. That's too much. You're putting too much gambling in there. Like

you don't need a pet you can go along with. A pet you could be like, all right, come here, Spiro or fucking like some nonsense. But like your kid give your kid a name that's not going to get him like bullied. Yeah, you shouldn't get bullied for your name at least.

Your name is something you should at least like you coast on this. Your behaviors you get bullied for and your likes and dislikes. Like people named guy, you know, like I don't understand. Like, why would you do that? I know one kid named guy. You know, I think because it's a, it's a real French name. Yeah. Like Ghee, right?

But people probably saw it and they're like, because that, it doesn't mean the same thing, obviously. Like so it's just like, that's a real name. And then some people took it over here. I almost see it in the same way as some people will spill it the regular George way. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience, but on

eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story.

So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan

Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and Our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. But they'll still pronounce it, Jorge. It's not even like the J-O-R-G-E. They'll spell it the regular George way, but it's like, Jorge. And I'm like, you're kind of fucked up, aren't you? Like, what are you doing? That's so, it's something people pronounce.

When people's names are Stefan and they pronounce it as Stephen. And I'm like, bro, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, these people need to be shot. Or, okay, my girlfriend's name is Lily. Lily is spelled L-I-L-Y. She spells a L-I-L-L-I-Y. And I'm like, Bro, that's not the name.

L-I-L-I-Y-W-W? What? Exactly. No, no, no, no. You're fucking wrong. Sweeney's being, like, dyslexic in his own head. That's not how she spells her name. There's no way.

L-I-L-I-Y? Yes. There's, like, two fucking vowels. There's, like, an unnecessary vowel. That's what the Y's for. Go tell her parents. There's literally, I'm looking up. There's literally, this is just not a,

real thing. This is not a real name. Nobody has this name. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. I understand what you're saying, but this is my girlfriend. I know her. I know her. Evidently not. I know what Tiffy that spells her name Tiff Annie. And I'm like, bro, what the fuck? Tell you, some of these people, parents need to be beaten. Her name is Tiff Annie. Like the fucking orphan. All right. We got to move on. We got it. We got to move. I hate that. I'm getting so mad. Is there anything else that happened that we should probably talk about? There was probably a lot of stuff. What else happened? They changed the whole hot tub streaming shit on Twitch.

Oh, wait, they changed it? They changed it or they're they clamping down? They're coming down on it because one guy, one guy poked a huge hole in the whole art. One dude was going back and from with one of the people, one of the mods for Twitch. And he was like, well, because they were trying to say that hot tub streams are inherently not sexual. And one guy was. fucking stupid. And one guy was like, well, would it be okay if a underage girl did that? Is it not sexual then? And the guy from Twitch just stopped responding. It was just like, I don't intend to be rude or try to any kind of like converse, but I had to say that because it literally is. Yeah. And I was just like, let's let's not kid ourselves. It's pretty clear. It's pretty clear why people are watching hot tub streams. Oh yeah. No one, like what the fuck?

They're literally just half naked in a hot tub not saying anything half the time. They're writing people's names as they donate. There's literally no other reason other than to see a half naked woman. I know. I'm nothing. Dude.

The whole hot tub thing specifically, it's like no one's fooling anybody. The people who are making a lot of money off this stuff know also. Like, it's not even they're not stupid. They're not stupid. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I know people who know those people, and believe me, they're very aware that they're circumventing the rules.

Like, it's very obvious. And you know what? I respect the ingenuity of it. For real. Get your money, girl. I do. I do, because, like, it's the audacity to just, like, go on Twitch and be like, I'm going to just sit in a hot tub half naked, and it's not going to break TOS because Twitch says, as long as the attire is appropriate for the setting, then it's okay. It's like it's a really genuinely a smart idea.

It's just weird. It's just weird that Twitch is run by like people that are so, it's almost like they got lucky. They got lucky that this platform just existed before a lot of other people. Like it existed before a mixer. Like it's if it was the other way around, there's no way Twitch would be popular. It just happens to be popular.

But it's run by such dumb motherfuckers. You know, like these people. They were the first people around when it mattered. When it mattered, right. Correct, yeah, you're right. Because there were people before them. They were like blog TV was like a thing before. Yeah, you're right, you're right. And, you know, they didn't. It's the same thing with YouTube, too. There were a bunch of, like, video, like, I remember Google, Google Video. And photo bugging and shit.

Yeah, and photo bugging. Like, same thing with Facebook. They had Friendster. What matters is, like, they were around when it mattered to be around. And they were big when it mattered to be big. And now they're kind of untoppelable. I remember when everybody was saying, like, there's going to be a new Facebook soon. And then Google Plus came out. And everybody was like, oh, everybody's going to go to Google Plus. And I was like, no. These, these have been around for. a long time. They're not getting replaced. Sorry, they're part of the fucking culture now. Like, you're not going to get rid of this. There may be new things that come up that,

that there might be new sites that come up that, uh, offer like a specific subset. Like, I think Twitter is really just the feed on Facebook, but just like kind of like with more people than just your friends. And like Instagram is just like the photo section of Facebook, but like focus on photos. There might be those, but you're never going to see another Facebook again. You're never going to see another Twitter again. You're never going to see another Twitter again. You're never going to see another fucking Instagram again. You're never going to see another YouTube again. Just not. Dude, it's kind of crazy, though, like, just, you talking about that.

MySpace, Facebook is the only thing that caused the exodus. Because MySpace was, there was, what, there was no reason for MySpace to, like, die off the way it did. Because it wasn't like, say, MySpace was just stale or something. To me, I was pissed off when everybody went over to Facebook, and I'm like, dude, this shit sucks. It's just a blank page of nothing. You can't put music on your page. There's no artist section. There was nothing.

I didn't understand why everybody was going. And then I was forced to because everyone fucking left Myspace. And I was just like, I never even had a Myspace. It's crazy. Damn. Really? I just got a Facebook first. I had a Myspace, but I never used it.

Like I made one because a friend of mine wanted me to. And then I never logged in again. Dude, I fucking, like, that was, I still remember my friend created one for me, my friend Aaron, she made one of me. She took a picture of me in graphics. We had this class where we made shirts and stuff with emotion. And she took a picture of me, threw it up on MySpace, and then added like a bunch of gay dudes. I don't know how she found them.

She started, and I was just like, all right, all right, all right. So I just took over the page and I actually started customizing. I'm like, oh, this is pretty cool. And then when I got into like a pretty big band in 06, this was like a huge deal, like to the point where like, oh, in the music section on. in the metal section, we were on the top 10 of bands and metal. And I was like, dude, this is fucking crazy. Like, it was, it's how I found, it's how everybody found. I was going to say how I, but it's how people found Kid Cuddy, how they found fucking

Lady Gaga, fucking Asher Roth. Like, a lot of these huge ass, I mean, there's, sure, there's Jeffrey Starr, which sucks. You know, that fucking was a bad thing. I forgot he was a space person. I forgot. He was a part of a band. He was a singer, right? he was associated with the

he made music fucking terrible but he was associated with those blood on the dance floor people and they're a bunch of degenerates and I think one of them actually is a fucking kid diddler too which is hilarious

there's too many of these people so many there's so many in the canon of humanity here you may have so many there shouldn't be so many I don't understand well see I keep saying I keep going back to

my brain can't get off of that not understanding it's really hard. I know. Yeah. But I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. Just don't touch kids, bro. Get fucking legal vagina, bro. It's not hard. You seem really against this. You seem like

weirdly against it. You're way too you're way too ecstatic about not touching kids. Oh man. No one can wield the blade against this enemy. I can't deal with Okay, go ahead, yeah, we don't need to drag this out of it.

We got some questions. We got a bunch to kind of catch up on. So we'll just jump into it. Merck's 1889, Red. Yo, Merks was good, bro. Yeah, he's crazy on Twitch. He like, uh... Drop subs like a fucking animal.

I appreciate you, bro. Let me just start. Oh shit, do I need to get on Twitch now? Yeah, for Merks. Just rename your channel. This is the Merks show. and he'll pay you. Merch featured Tom Sweeney.

Perfect. Let me just start by saying I love your guys' podcast. It makes my 11-hour drives each day, truck driver. All the more entertaining. That's crazy, man. Sick, dude.

I'm a first-time Patreon supporter and I discover you guys after Chris's Resident Evil video showed up on my YouTube feed. Hell yeah, dude. That's pretty surprising, actually. Did I mention the podcast in the video? He probably didn't.

It probably was recommended. Good. Works out either way. Good. Yeah, I mean, hell yeah. Now for my question. When was the last time you were involved with something that you genuinely didn't want to be a part of, but just ended up in the wrong place of the wrong time or agreed to do something you genuinely didn't want to do?

Okay, here's a good one. Okay, here's a good one. I remember what yours was. I think it was 2011. I was living in Arizona at the time. And I went on one of the dating apps or whatever to meet some women. I met up with this Italian girl in North Phoenix. Now, I just worked like 11 or 12 hours.

at Amazon. And I told her, I don't want to do anything that's like crazy. I just want to fucking chill. I'm dead tired. And she's like, oh, okay, let's go to hookah bar. I was like, all right, I can do that. She fucking suggests the number one hookah bar in Phoenix, which is a fucking club that has hookah. And the music was louder than any club I've ever been to in my life. there was people doing the fucking SpongeBob stacking crappy patties and all that shit the cat daddy

people were doing the cat daddy they're doing the doggy she was trying to get me to dance and I felt so like oh my God like I can't I'm trying to be nice but I was gonna be like you just leave

I was just gonna leave and never talk to her again but I'm a gentleman I finished the night amicably and then I never talk to her again that was probably the worst

I was so fucking angry that you would have the audacity to take me to a fucking club. And when I'm just like, dude, I'm dead. And she's like, oh, fucking care. Dumb bitch. Whatever. Yeah. Dumb bitch. That was such a callished one.

She is. That was so fucking rude. That was so rude. That was so fucking rude. That is highly inconsiderate. That's just, that's just her being dumb. But whatever. It's her.

But, uh, so. So. So. Okay, so I guess there was a, I want to see what I wasn't involved in. There have been so many times that like I've just went to hang out with my friends and like someone's moving or like something's happening. I'm like, oh, yay, we got to stop hanging out and help your uncle build a shed. I would just help my friend build a shed. And I was just like, it was because for me like how to explain.

It's really easy for me to have a good time. I often don't want to do shit, but very, if at least one of my friends is there and I get to laugh out of it, it's a good, it's a plus for me. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story.

So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamod. Hello, Lotus Alon, handle the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay.

Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.

But like one of my good friends back home every time and over this house Something his dad would around us up like the three of us up and we'd go and we'd build some shit And I'm just like free labor now this like an asshole what an ass I guess where you guys all play basketball and football right and I'm like yeah How much you mentioned just I'm like at 210. He's like two 10. He's like two 10 my guys come on He would just bring us along to do shit like you got those we got those boards Bring those boards upstairs for me real quick. You know, go down, go up to the garage. And I'm just like, I'm like, dog, Mr. Chin, please.

That was always the worst. Going to your friend's house and then having to do chores. And I'm like, bro. I've done, I've been in that situation before too. Like, and I'd be like, oh, man, I have to fucking put the shingles on my friend's roof because he's fucking, his dad wanted me to. It's like, what is going on, dude? I'm not getting paid for this. I'm a child.

I just came here to play Xbox. And now Halo, I don't want to play. through anymore. Now I'm tired and sweaty. I want to go home, dude. I'll see you later. Yeah, it was just always ruined. I feel like for me, every wedding. Just every wedding. Like, I hate a wedding in a while. Thank God. I really hate weddings. They're just so fucking needlessly. You know, honestly, even worse, graduation. My graduation was something that I didn't want to go to.

I did not want to go to my graduation. I fucking hated. I have an M name. I have an M last name. so I'm like real far down there like right in the middle of like and I remember our class was like 600 people or something I fucking I couldn't ah my God I went to it and I skipped every single graduation after that

like the college was like when I got my fucking degree I was like I'm out I'm out yeah I don't do any of those things especially if they're out outdoors which they always are and they're always in the summer so I'm like no I'm not why would I do this why would I fucking like graduate

it's hot as shit I'm sweating I'm wearing nice clothes while I'm fucking sweating, which is the worst thing you can do. Yeah. I went to, I got my, I got my degree and I got my diploma. I got my degree I was fucking faded for. I was high in the kites. I didn't know what time was.

All I know is they called my name. My friend was like, yo, go, man. I was like, hi, and I. And the college one, I was just like, I really want to get this done because I want to go. Hang on my girlfriend and get graduation pool. That's all I wanted. Hey, there you go.

But it's more, those are more or less for your family. And I hate that because, like, I've realized that even birthdays are not really for you anymore. They're kind of just for the people that love you. Everything. Everything is, like, everything is not for you. Anything that you are complete is not for you. Some people that love you more. And I've got used to it.

Yeah, I actually totally agree with that. Yeah. And I've been to one wedding that I liked. There was one. It was because, you know what? It was because it was purely, it had no ties of the family. It was just a homey wedding. Oh, yeah.

That actually made it really enjoyable. That made it really enjoyable. Those are better because you just have no, there's no expectation. And it's also more like a real party. It's also more like a, oh, I don't know any of these people. I can actually like meet and mingle and like do shit. It's kind of cool. Because you can cut up at a friend's thing.

You can go there and just enjoy yourself opposed to like while you're being there for your family. You represent your family. So you're like, I have to be respectable. I am the like I have a wedding that's coming up real soon, like two of them. And I'm like, I don't want to be there. but it's my literal sister so I just can't not show up to that because that's fucked

Yeah I need The only wedding that I liked That I liked was John John's John's That was a fun wedding But every other one that I've ever been to do It was just sad I don't know

It was just like oh my God I have to sit out here And I have to wait for this priest to say something And it's like Oh God This is such a disaster Friend weddings are going to make me sad because I'm like damn there goes my friend yeah there goes my friend just died today that's

crazy yeah you'll never see those people again that's crazy chris you'll see him maybe once every three years there's no see like that's that's what happened to my homie ed like this dude that i know since i was grade where that literally happened to him but like i i would never marry a woman where i just completely i my soul is sucked away and i'm gone i'm like nah like she's dope and And we're all going to kick it. Like she's not just some fucking nagging wife. Like she's dope. She can hang with the homies.

You're gone, man. Once you, once you move in with her, you're half gone. Your form starts to fade. And then once you put that ring on her finger and you say I do, you look over at your friend, you're like,

remember me for who I was. And then you turn into lights and you disappear. That's it. Relationships are like Voltron. Remember me for who I was. And then just fade into the ashes, Into the ether. Relationships are like Voltron.

They're just like, you gotta, you gotta join your little Megazores or whatever together to form this like thing. And you gotta stay in that thing. You can't, you can't go, like,

leave your friends because then the torso is not gonna be non-operational and then you're just gonna be stuck with like a walking thing that can't do anything. And she's gonna be like, where are you in?

Where are you been? I couldn't walk all day. You take control of the fucking legs. And it's a whole problem. It's a whole mess. It's a big mess. You're, Kingston's already half gone

as it is. And he doesn't even like moved in with his girlfriend yet. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.

That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay, performance break, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next restamon. Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.

eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do? I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. I never see him. That's not true, but I'm often, I'm often not here because I have a lot. I have other responsibilities that are not mine. Catering to your girlfriend. You have marriage responsibilities, though.

I don't have marriage responsibilities, bro. You guys are married but not married. You are not married, but not married. What are you talking about, dude? You go to your girlfriend's families, parties. Yes. You're married, but you're not a thing that boyfriends and girlfriends do. That's crazy.

You guys don't have a girlfriend with close family members. Doug, that's like one-off. No, it's like one-off things. Like in my last relationship, like, sure, I met her family. But it wasn't like I'm going to come around for every function. Like, fuck you. I'm not there for every function, but God damn, I'm there for a lot of them, man. That's what that's, come on.

That's practically the same shit. That's married, dude. I don't marry people who don't do that. I'm not married, bro. That's the dream. Keep, yeah, keep the dream. I'm not that marriage tax cut, bro. Trust me.

If I was married. Well, I mean, look, no, you're, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're not ceremonially. Yeah, that's what I mean. You guys are, it's like you're married. It's ostensibly the same thing, functionally. I'm not married. All right, keep telling yourself.

Ask her. You ask her when it comes over, Chris. Go the next time I'm like, oh, do you think you and Kinks that are pretty much married? She's going to be like, no. You're going to be astounded when you guys move in and you're going to realize that pretty much nothing is strange. It is that I don't see my friends anymore. And I'm like, whoa, I'm going to talk to you and I'm going to like, yo, it's been like six years. Like, yo, it's been like two months out.

I'm like, bro, it feels like 10 years. I said six years and not freak you out. I'm interested. Why would she say, no? that you think does she want to get married and and it's I've said no I'm kidding honey I'm kidding you're gonna watch this and you're gonna freak out please I'm kidding okay okay well I'll just say has the conversation of marriage like seriously brought up like seriously brought up not just like like oh timeline

we've been together for five years dude it's it's come up that's well I mean as far as have you guys are you guys making any plans for anything not not quite yet the move the moving in for me for me i'm not doing that until i live with you for a little bit that is my fundamental thing like you got to live together first you understand if you can survive being together i don't know why it turned it in nighttime for you a little bit dark that's that was scary that that looked that looked like the moon like flew by your son i was just trying to adjust my exposure it scared me because it was like in Akrona time where it's just daytime again.

And you're like, bro, that was, it was just nighttime. I don't know how you did that. You didn't even get fucking dawn. That would break my brain. The shit that goes on in like Alaska where the sun like sets and then it like comes back up. That shit is crazy.

I was in a Norway in the summer and it was so stupid that I'm staring out the window at one p. 1 a.m. sorry. And it's fucking dusk. I'm just like, what the fuck? I can see the very, I can see the rays of the sun.

It's just there. And it's just like, all right, I'm back homey. And I'm like, dude, that's, this is like, I'm like, how the fuck could you just, I want to just, of course I want to beat the shit

out of every flat earth. But I'm like, do just, can you hop on a plane? Just go to Alaska. Go to somewhere that's very close. up by the top and then you're going to be blowing away. That shit makes you realize how small you are on a universal. Like moments like that just let me know like, oh shit, I'm nothing.

This world is so grand. It didn't freak me out a little bit. So used to just, you know, for our normal shit, you know, and then just as weird as it gets. Like it is even weird sometimes. It's how the sun just like peeks up and goes in the winter. It's like, eh, you know, it still goes away, but it's just like barely shows up. That's weird enough. It broke my brain when I went to Canada to see an East San Cayley and like it would, it got

where I was in Canada, it got dark at like 1030. Like it's when it started to get dark. Oh yeah. And I was like, what the fuck is that? This is the craziest shit. Like you're outside, things are closing and the sun is still up. It's, it's mind-boggling. A lot of people take their own lives in a normal.

than part of the world because that shit fucks up your homeostasis man. Oh yeah. In the, it really. Good. Wow. It was like three or four hours of sunlight and then people are just, they're just done. Like that's, can you imagine if you don't wake up at that small window of the day, you get no. That would really hurt me if I like, if I ever woke up and it was daytime after I woke up and I'm just like, what happened?

I would just start thinking I'm losing. days and then I would immediately jump like I was in a coma clearly duh it's disorienting it's too much especially for our cycle even just that change of just like not even being that much of a different cycle but it's just getting dark way later it's just like

it was it broke my brain a little bit it was such a weird thing to get used to you're just simply you're not used to seeing people like outside at bars at like an appropriate time but the sun is out it's just I don't know it's very weird I can never do it again we live in the middle of like the world relatively we live our lives based on it being relatively equal.

Like, oh, there's, or for us, at least it changes because, you know, we have like, because I know directly in the middle there's the most even air quote of days. So the further you get, like, it gets like, oh, it changes back and forth. Because we go through the sometimes days longer, sometimes nights a longer. So we have daylight saving times and spending time. But like when we encounter that, the way we've been raised is just like, the laws of the universe are just able to change. And I'm not ready for that.

It's too much. What is it? John Strickland wrote in. He says, Hello, Chris, Derek, and Sweene, long-time listener, first-time patron. There's a lot of first-time patrons. Thank you, bro. Thank you. You get a million dollars, but for the rest of your life, you come confetti.

You can choose whether you'd want it to sound like a party horn or a party popper. By the way, I definitely do this. I can't have kids anymore. Wait, is this guy's name John Strickland? Yeah. Is that like the same guy from King of the Hill or? I don't know, man. I don't know the lore.

I don't remember. Honestly, I don't even know if there's really an amount of money that I would do that for. Because that sounds, first of all, painful. Painful, yeah. Just, you know, just thin strips of, like, some form of paper that I can't quite put my finger on, just streaming out of my dick. I don't think I need that. Imagine shooting a girl up and she's like, did you just fucking come paper in me?

You're like, yep. You leave. You leave. the muffled sound too. It makes the party hounds. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I'm sorry, a million's not enough.

It's fucking, yeah. Not enough. Binky McStinkums, which is an amazing name, Rodin. I've heard a lot of controversial food takes on this show, so I would like to propose this question.

When you have a meal, do you eat the side dish before the entree, or do you eat them together? I am of the mindset that not eating your side dish dish first is cosmically reprehensible?

Not eating your side dish first? That's like OCD shit. I don't even think I know if I do anything specifically. I just eat the food. I might have a fry too and I'll take a bite of the burger. The burger looks really, really good. Look, yeah. A bit of a drink.

Side dishes aren't entrees. They're not, I'm sorry. They're not like, what actually, what I meant to say was appetizers. Yeah, so they're not appetizers. Do you eat the appetizer before your meal comes out? You're supposed to, and the reason why like good chefs will have sides that accent you know whatever your main fucking

courses you're supposed to eat it together i mean it's just pretty simple like eating it in a certain order on your plate is just kind of like an oCD thing that's all that's all it is yeah there's no reason to have like a list or like a specific strategy of like i i don't think i've ever thought about like do i eat my side dish or do my entree it's usually just like i'll eat whatever it is that i want to eat at that moment You know, like there's no strategy to it. I don't even think I could tell you a percentage-wise of, like, how often I do one or the other. Like, it's insane.

I want to know how this person eats Chinese food. Oh, my God. That's a whole mess. What do you do with the cookie, you know? Eat the cookie first. I eat what's in front of me. That's it. I eat the first.

I eat half the cookie first, and then I finish my food, and then I eat the last cookie. So it's like a sandwich in my stuff. And then I read the fortune. And then I read the fortune. After I've eaten the cooking, baby. Hell yeah. I hate those fucking fortunes. Yeah, they're always like, you're gay.

And I'm like, oh, thanks, man, I know. I heard what I said help once. And I was really funny. Help. Only it said help. And I was like, okay. I was hoping that nobody ever did it because there was an episode of Rockless Modern Life

where it was just a fortune and it was just a bad luck one. And it's like long and elaborate Like bad luck Will infest your pathetic soul Or something for all eternity Or some bullshit And nobody

No fucking restaurant ever took the opportunity To do that When it was popular Because wouldn't you want to fuck with people Or it's like yeah I'm gonna put stuff Yeah You would want to fuck with people

You gotta understand A potential Fuck with people And you're not getting customers back You gotta understand that You gotta understand like I mean I would do that I'd be like yo

I'm fucking your wife you get that in the He'd be like, what the fuck? All right. Normal human with human skin, Rodin. He says, hey, you guys ever think, you guys ever, what? You guys ever think about how small the penises are for the people who drive those shitty cars with the loud fucking engines. They drive through neighborhoods at 9 p.m. on a weekday speeding through, waking up everybody they know they can get away with.

What is this? Are you all right? Are you ever think about it? Okay, so I can tell what happened. This person has a neighbor or someone that lives on their block that is a piece of shit. There's someone that is clearly a piece of shit. And here's a thing, they may not have a small dick, but they definitely have erectile dysfunction. That is, which is, to me, is actually probably worse because you can have a huge fucking piece and then have it not work.

Right? Like, E.D. That would be so sad. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience, but on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay,

but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panes, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.

You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com

for an office near you. That's really sad. Look, a rectile dysfunction is on the horizon for everybody. So what we've got to do is we've got a hope that when the time comes, we've done enough of the deed. Because once it stops working, I can't do anything about that. It's not going to stop working, man. Do you not understand? We have to stop seeing ourselves as old people today. We're not going to be old people today.

Oh, no, I know that. I know that. I'm just saying on the horizon. It's on the horizon, but it's not. Because we are going to obliterate it. We're going to somehow have fucking boner pills that are so effective and so safe that our dicks are going to be hard 24-7. We're going to be way worse. We're going to be way worse than this generation.

Whatever old people we have now, we're going to be way worse. I don't think that. In what way? Just all the sugar and all the, like, all the bullshit that we're eating. And then the environment's probably going to, like, kill us. So it's going to be worse. I think the sugar and everything, that's not going to kill it. We're going to look young as fuck.

They survived off horrible shit, too. Like, really horrible shit. We would look horrible. We would look and feel horrible and be horrible if, but medicine's going to save us. That's what, that's my point, where they're going to, these smart-ass motherfuckers are going to figure out things. in like four or five decades that will make like say Botoxin pills

Boner pills fucking whatever titty pills whatever I'm sure all it's gonna be there oh you want your shit to be fucking triple Gs one day just pop this pill bro it makes me so sad thinking about all the people who just get Botox and I'm just like why

that shit's crazy it's an insanely popular I had no fucking idea it was as common as it is dude one of my home girls crazy popular here dude early 20s girls that are

early 20s that have no wrinkles are getting Botox. And I was like, that one's the one that blows my mind where I'm like, you don't have wrinkles. What is, I don't,

what's the other benefit of it? Because it just, it just poisons your face and it stops moving. It's so sad, literally poison injected into your face that dead your nerves. That is literally what it is.

And it keeps your face tight because your face is convulsing. That is crazy, dude. It's crazy. These young people, I don't understand women in their, in their, in their,

in their 20s doing, I, I literally don't understand. That's one thing where it's like, I don't understand fucking perverts, but this, like, is just,

if, if you don't, you already look young, what the hell is Botox gonna do to you? Dude, even old people, man, like,

I see old people who, like, there are old people who haven't gotten Botox, right? And then they just look like an old person is supposed to look,

right? Of course. There's something kind of endearing about it, Because it's just like, oh, hey, these are old people, you know, they've seen a lot. I get it, yeah. But then you see these old people who are like 70, and they look like, they look like, they're 70-year-olds who look like 50-year-olds who have been stung by every bee, you know?

And it's like, how can you even, like, you just look stupid? Every bee. Every bee. Have you guys seen a video of that? You imagine getting stuck by every bee in the world? You would die. You'd be killed, you'd be dead. Not even from the physical harm you would get,

but your brain would be so overstimulated with the pain receptors that you'd be just like, that's so much to process, I'm gone. There was this video of this lady holding her baby, right? Oh, the Nerd City video that he tweeted? She looked up and she looked like one of the smiling faces for Chinese mythology. Dude, that can't be real. That can't be real.

the fuck is that real. I feel it was like, dude, we have to be, someone has to put, that hope. It's like, did you see the weekend when people thought he was exposed like that? Like,

I'm hoping it's that. Like, it's just prosthetics. You know, it's just good fucking, well, you better keep hoping. It is prosthetics.

Well, I mean, yeah, either way it is, right. Yeah. I mean, for,

for the meb. That shit's fucking crazy. But there are, I mean, I mean, we've seen the, uh, the,

the, the, the, the, the, kin people like these people that are just they're fucked in the head but uh look at I get to a certain

extent because uh I like you you see some people they talk about how they can see the beauty in some other people but they can't see in themselves they can be like so fucking gorgeous but then just have like low self-esteem and I'm just wondering like I wish I can see

their eyes and see how they see themselves just to understand how the fuck they feel Yeah, it's really sad. It really is just confusing, though. Like, I just, I don't know, like, I can't, there's something about it that I just, I have a hard time just like even entering the, the headspace up because it's like, I, I'm just pretty strictly of the mind where it's like, there is really, there's very little you can do out to modify you that will make you look any better.

Like, I feel like, typically speaking, there are some areas where I think it's like a little bit more nebulous. Like I think I think nose jobs to me make the most sense just because it's your face and it's like the thing that a lot of people are staring at. But this like Brazilian buttlift thing or like I just don't understand. We're probably not having, I think it's part of it's body morphia, which a lot of people do have it. All people do actually have that. Like a lot of people don't even know they have it have that problem. But we don't have it. So it's just alien to our brains. but it just makes me sad how genuinely

like on every scale how uncomfortable people feel in their own skin sometimes it makes me feel really really really bad imagine though if I like imagine though if I got like height surgery or something

and I got I made myself like like I don't know like five inches taller I would look so stupid it would look so wrong well it would to anyone that knows you No That's just my body It doesn't work that way

It's not going to look okay And even, by the way It would look even weirder Because they would have to do my arms as well Because otherwise I'd look like I'm on still Proportionalty That'd be fucking hilarious It would look so stupid

But literally that is exactly It looks stupid That's because you don't Because we, to us it looks wild It looks insane But for them it just makes them happy You know Well look

There's let me I think what Chris is saying Makes total sense because it's like you said, people getting butt implants or transferring fat to their ass or whatever. It looks completely unnatural and it 100% of the time looks stupid

and nobody should do it. Tits, on the other hand, they can do it to the point where it still looks real. Like, obviously, there's a lot of botched ones. But to me, like, when it comes to, if you can make it look realistic, it's totally fucking fine. I mean, as far as I don't think you need it,

I'm just saying that, like, I'm not going to be able to, like oh that's fucking sad or whatever because there's been plenty of like tit jobs that are just like oh that i i didn't know that you had um plastic surgery you know because this whoever the surgeon was was actually really good um so other than that though like because you see all the botched noses where they look like michael jackson noses like it's just all like fucked up where it's like don't do anything where there's such a high probability that it's going to look fucking stupid. I promise you you'll look better the way you look better the way you do now.

But that's true. Don't do that. But to them, they don't. That's where it gets crazy. Look, well, look, man, I can actually sympathize that a little bit too because I actually did talk about that in one episode where I don't have some extreme body dysmorphia, but I definitely have it to an extent that like I, and I think it's just because I got so obsessed with like the fitness industry for a while. And the, the biggest thing. that I notice, and this is like, this is just how it works. I can see like a fat dude with a really tight shirt.

And, you know, she's just, everything's hanging out. And I'm just like, whatever. But I could never do that. I could not do it. Like,

I'm telling you, like, I would rather my fucking asshole be online exposed than to be fucking, like, caught dead with like, just this really like a small shirt with my fucking fat and my tie, you know,

my muffin top and everything. This is the way. that like that shit's like terrifying to me and like but even though that's like basic because it's not a huge fucking deal but it's just like how it is me versus other people like other people don't matter

and I guess it's like the same for those fucks that you say hey dude you're perfect the way you are your nose looks great I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you but they probably feel the way I feel about like say my body just being all fucking shitty you know it's sad I understand that it's just more that I've seen

so many botched things that I know that anything that could have a probability of this being worse than it already is, is, is, is, is, is just not worth the, it's not worth the insane amount of money. And just, I don't know, man, they're so expensive. Just these, these surgeries and shit. And it's just like, I don't know, man. Do what you do. It's, it's, it's fine.

Like, everybody can do, it just reminds me of, uh, bioshoc. There's like this, one of, it's like one of the first. I think major antagonist you facing that game is that surgeon who's like I can make a perfect person and it's like and there's just all these like crazy just fucked pictures of just like people getting like and just like that that's what it reminds me of when I see like dolly parton or these like old people or the or like these old people with Botox I just see the the people that you maim in bioshok it's just all these like fucked people it's I can't unsee it they're just who's that chick the half monsters Who are you wearing?

Who are you wearing? What's that chick's name? It's a comedian. Oh my God, I can't remember. What the hell is her name? But she's like, she's like a hundred. Joan Rivers? Joan Rivers.

Yeah, she was like a thousand years old, but she looked like she was probably 60 or something. Or like maybe 58, late 50s. Where I'm just like, that's fucking not cool. Just breed bees. Born in like 1800 or something. Just breed babies. Just breed bees.

Just breed bees. Just get bees and sting yourself. And then you can have the same. For real. It won't be permanent. It will literally smooth your skin out. That's real talk. That's real talk. It's really the same.

Like I've seen people get, I've literally like there's, I remember there was this, it's fucked actually. I shouldn't admit this. But there's this game that like my cousins and I would play where like one of us would gather Botox, Botox pictures and people who were just like stung incessantly. And we would, we would mix them up and we would try to guess which one was which. and it was like a whole game to it that's a mean-spirited game

as kids well I mean it's you know we're kids you know all kids are pretty fucked in that way they don't they don't think about that shit Gavin Morin wrote in he says hey son of Colin

son of Satan and son of black men long time fan of a you three but new Patreon member and first time question asker there's a lot of new faces here nice if you could watch any group of characters

from any sitcom fight another group from another sitcom to the death which would you pick and which do you think would come out victorious There's a default answer that's the default is Friends versus Seinfeld Yeah, that's like standard We'll not allow that

No Friends versus Seinfeld because that's obvious But Oh this oh he says my pick would be the gang From Always Sunny versus the gang from Friends I never liked friends but especially hated Ross And would love to see Dennis Reynolds rained down upon him with a storm of fists fucking Dennis Reynolds

Always Sunny is like a pretty good Pick for one Always sunny in the office Always sunny and I love Lucy Oh my God Just Ricky and Lucy and Ricky's best friend And Lucy's best friend Fucking Fred man

No wait Ah Man What am I thinking Fuck I had a good one And I'd like the willing grace Casp versus the cast I'm always sunny

I feel like that would lead to some amazing fucking shit I don't even know Always Sunny is a pretty good like PIC. Always Sunny is a good It's a good cast of characters Or the fresh premise is always sunny Oh my God I like that dude Uncle Phil

Fuchs them all up Uncle Phil would fuck all of them up honestly Uncle Phil's a heavy Lately car buying has become a pretty dull experience But on eBay behind every car in part Is a story waiting to be shared There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved.

There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay, performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod.

Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Uncle Phil has a take out. Who's the heart of Mac? Take out Fit Mac and that's it.

You're fine. Yeah, I can fit Mac. Yeah. Fit Mac is, he ain't knowing to fuck. I don't know. Danny Vito's pretty vicious, man. He's vicious, but I'm sure so is called. No, I'm sure Jeffries.

Are we talking about the whole? So we're talking about the gang, not like any of their supports. Oh, yeah, we're talking about the gang versus the other gang. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I just have to be the, yeah. Because I know Carl's, I know, well, I'm what you call it. Because let's be real. Always Sunny's winning all these fights if they have, if they have support.

If they got the guy with the big hands to, like, block the fucking lawyer. Exorbing damage to them. Don't look at my hands. The fucking McPoyles or whatever? McPoyles. Yeah, no, they're, they're, if they were. Whatever the fuck their names are? The McPoyle's play to win.

is that their names that's the their mcboils is that right no they're they're mcpoil i feel like i'm like i'm mixing shit up i'm sure it's mcpoil it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay okay i was right so fucking greasy and disgusting oh let's not talk about them i feel sick let's next okay great all right we'll move on king of spiders rodin he says what's up gradient tool gang how you all feel about ben sheper of the ben shapiro thirst accounts ben sheperlechapiro flexes his biceps a lot on his all access show calling it the gun show and has simps is this real

this can't be real yeah it is real it is real it is real it is real why does it's not being tweeted about Ben Shapiro what would you even search for this what would you put a gun show Ben Shapiro hot I'm going to regret Googling this

yeah that's not coming I like how Ben Shapiro hot the first result in Google images is his sister they do look pretty fucking similar don't they sort of Ben Shapiro sexy

I'm regretting my Google choices today the muscle show oh my god oh my god this is so weird new Ben Shapiro content yeah it's super cute guy muscle worship what the fuck

it's so weird holy shit dude Ben Shapiro Ben Shapiro I am very very sexy Oh my god That's amazing This is great

I can't I can't show you guys I can't put it in the chat Because I'm recording the screen But there's a great picture of like Ben Shapiro holding that You remember that when he bought that block At a home depot

Oh yeah yeah yeah There's a great picture of him Like next to a picture of Johnny From Ed and Eddie with Plank And it looks exactly the same Dude his fucking What of it He has like disproportionate

proportionate biceps like I mean like really cranking his fucking dick on one side oh for sure really cranking his dick on one side okay well next question please everybody's everybody's biceps like unless you work out I guess

unless you work out consistently your dominant hand is always gonna be I tore my shoulders so I have atrophime my left it's actually I have bench of your arms too so I definitely have relatively even arms what was that mean there's like right I don't think there's a real

difference between them. There is a difference because I'm sorry. I think one is long. I think one is slightly longer another. That's about it. Dude, for some reason, I heard see, you know when I said, what does that mean? I heard you say, I have resident evil arms. I was like, what's that mean? That's what I thought he said. You know, Kingston and his resident evil arms. He doesn't make me tired, man. All right. I don't like that. I don't like that Ben Shapiro has an army of Sims. That's really upsetting. Yeah, he does. But hey, you know what? Short kings rise up, you know? Ew.

I'm too old for this. Get out of my room and let me sleep, Dad, wrote in. Oh. He said, is it bestiality? If you fuck an alien, preface. They technically are a different species. These aliens are as intelligent as humans with emotional, complex, expressive intelligence to consent just as we do. Still beastiality, I think. No, it's not.

No, so fucking, fucking tally is beastiality? What are you talking about? species sex is not a bea celi. I think there's a pretty thin line between that. Banging Liyar Tassoni is fucking What other species do you know that is not a beast? The clue of the species they're talking about,

they're not beasts. Right, but that is like... An exception does not make a rule. They're an exception to the rule, but it's still the rule, I would say. No, it's not. The exceptions are outside of the rule because they're the exceptions to the rule. They're exceptions to the rule, but that doesn't change the rule.

They would still be beasts. No. If somebody's an exception to a rule, it is outside of the jurisdiction of the rule. Therefore, they're not being. But it doesn't change the rule. That's the point. Yes, that's the point.

But the exception is outside the rule. So they're not beasts. They're beasts, man. They're not beasts. They're just inner species sex. Dude, I'm saying this right now. Me, I'm saying this. I think werewolves.

I think wherewolves are cool. I can't trust you. I wouldn't fuck one. Sure. I wouldn't fuck a female. I wouldn't fuck one. I don't know. That's a rough one.

It's hard to imagine. Because, like, I don't think... Is Gamora an alien? Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.

That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamond. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.

eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Gamoara's fake So are aliens, well, it's as far as we know Is Gimora an alien? Yes, she is Would you fuck Gimora? No. Not if she was real. No, not if she was real. If she was a real person, if she was like a real

existing life form, no I wouldn't. Because I could not get out of my head that like there's very clearly no way that this is that this was ever meant to be okay, that this was ever meant to happen. What does that mean? That's dumb. Because she's just a person, Kingston. She's just a human.

She's essentially a human. If aliens came and they were essentially humans, like sayans, sure, whatever. But like most pretty high chance that that's not going to be what comes here. Why is that so? What do you mean? Why is that so? That mathematically makes less sense because of the fact that we... It makes less sense that aliens would be humans?

Let me explain. Chris, let me explain. If life on... If we exist... Chris, if we exist already, we understand. that the blueprint for creatures like us can exist. So theoretically, if there's a planet as far as away from a sun, on another, in another freaking socialism,

there could be creatures that are pretty similar to humans there. That's how that works. That's the argument for that. Literally that is... The condition that led to our rise is very specific to our planet, not even necessarily to our placement, to the sun, or in our placement in a solar system. It has a lot to do with the fact that we got struck

by a fucking planetoid. that's the reason we're here Chris that could happen to other planets that is not infathomable in a galactic scale that is just not infatomitable this is the stupidest conversation

I think I've ever had that is this not that's just not infatheavalable at all that's just not like that could happen so on a fictional planet the same exact distance from the solar the same exact distance from the sun the same placement between other planets

that happens to get hit by an asteroid in the same exact point in the species evolution on that planet. Chris, think of how Chris, no fucking way is that happening. Chris, think of how many fucking stars are in the sky. Well, look, look at how many.

It's happening, dude. It doesn't, it doesn't have to, the way that you're describing is wrong. No, no, no, no, no, what I mean is it doesn't have to happen in that exact pinpoint scenario. In order to result in us, yes. It would have exactly at all. No, that's, that's, that's,

weird thought, bro. You're out of your fucking mind. Chris, you're at your mind. Chris, if you're at your mind. You think it has to hit on the exact perfect pinpoint same spot of the exact, you have to replicate the exact thing for everything to happen. It's just like, you know, it would be like exact species. Yes, everything would have.

No, not exact similar. We're not talking about an, it's not a replica of the human species. We're talking about just humanoid. No one's talking about cloning. No one's talking about. cloning the species. They're talking about a humanoid type species could exist. Garis is a humanoid.

Yes, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people like Gomorrah or like Goku. Gomer is a humanoid. Those aren't humanoid. Those aren't humans. Those are humanoids. Elves are humanoid. So are fucking orcs and shit like that. They're all very human like they can have babies with humans. Those aren't alien. We can't go into fantasy shit because that's a whole minefield. Relatively. That's all. No, because that's all native to the same planet at that point. That's like a completely different question.

No, what it, dude, we're all made of the same shit. What is the difference between it being on intergalactic and fucking, multi-dimensional? And within the same fucking, in the same, uh, on the same planet. We're literally made on the same matter. I don't know what's in those pants is the difference. And I, I respect that. I respect that.

Morra has a fucking pussy, dog. I know she does because she's just a person. Let's be fucking real. She's a person. She doesn't have tentacles down there. It's just a pussy. I don't understand your fucking point, dude. Because it's not, there's a difference between Gamora and Garris from Mass Effect.

Garris has a birdcock, dude. Garris has something between his legs that I can't comprehend probably. Yes. It's a bird cock. Yes. It's a, Garris fucks female shepherd. Geras fucking gross. He has a cock.

It's so gross. Yes. All I'm sorry. saying is that my argument goes as far as that. What I'm saying is to result in to result in somebody like Gamora who's ostensibly exactly she's not exactly a human she's very very similar she's very similar. It's like Leara. It's like Leara for Mass Effect. They

fucking all they have is tentacles on their head and then other than that they're fucking they look like human. Their insides work like us. We're all a part of relatively the same matter like on an atomic scale so it's not that crazy. The diversity on our own planet is crazy. No, it's not. That is a thing. It's really not. We're all so similar on a genetic scale.

It's actually kind of maddening, dude. Well, look, look, it, look, I actually, I, look, I can, I can, I understand what what Chris is saying, because we're made of the same shit, but that stuff can be turned into the wildest difference. Whereas, like, we have, you know, things that share a very similar genetic makeup, but look nothing like us. I understand, look, I'm going to give Chris. Chris this to the point of

yes I would be very reluctant I would too I would too the fucking alien to fuck a female Turian we're talking about like that looked like Garris right I would be very reluctant to like want to fuck a female one of those I'd be like

oh that's I understand you have a pussy just because of your makeup where you're fucking you're a humanoid and there's probably a pussy there's tits there and stuff I assume probably I guess I assume I assume I'm fucking I'm I'm going to take my chances.

I'm not. I agree with Chris on this in a sense that I'm not just going around fucking aliens. I don't really fuck. I don't only fuck Gomorra in the context that I know she's a female because I know because I mean no shit about her. If an alien fell from the sky and was like, hey, you want some of this? I'd be like, get the fuck away from me. You might have galactic aids. I think you guys are, as far as that.

that you are very fucking boring. Yeah, I'm boring. I'm boring and alive. You're not, you're not trailblazers. You're not fucking pioneers. Look, no. If a hot alien came up to me, that's the whole, that's the thing. I have to perceive the alien as hot. That's all that matters to me.

Right. Which you wouldn't unless they were as close to humans as possible. Yeah, which is totally, look, it's it. Which is exactly my point. All this bullshit is flying around the fucking, it's all flying around in the universe. that for sure just like and look at I will and I'll say to your point Chris

I was extremely disappointed playing Mass Effect Indromana because it was just bullshit fucking like humanoid shit where it's like you're in the Adromeda galaxy and I'm like oh dude the what do you call it the imagination it could be whatever we want it to be

and then they're just like oh they're these weird tentacle fucks and then they're being converted into rock pieces of shit that all I was I hated it I hated it yeah but at the same time it's actually you know

it could the problem I have really is just the assumption that because we are who we are and we are as technology technologically advances as we are we can't comprehend that anything else can be as technologically advanced

and be space faring and be like you know capable of traveling to planets unless they are basically just us and copies of us that's just not how it works it's just not the reason we are the reason we are what we are

is due to a specific set of circumstances not only our placement in the in the fucking solar system and just like the chemical makeup of the planet but also the history of what happened to the planet that is beyond any species control we exist purely because the planet got hit by something

at a very specific time It's like butterfly effect shit I don't I don't exactly know what you mean by that I think you're talking about the formation of the moon right He's the formation of the moon right? The extinction of the fucking dinosaurs that happened to coincide with mammals existing at all What if that happened before mammals who were around Then it'd be a completely different fucking story

It would be they would probably be relatively similar to us in the sense that they'd be like You're out of your fucking door man They might be like they might be like dinosaurs if Dinosaur's never got wiped out there probably had been, that such a creature would have probably been a dinosaur. It would have been like a dinosaur that walked up right. It's the same principle of, that's why I said like, oh, the dinosaurs and why like reptiles and shit, reptilians were dominating at first. Then they got wiped out. And you think about mammals, they started out on all fucking fours and then evolved to be on two

fucking legs, right? Just walking on two feet, becoming humanoid. Why wouldn't that happen to a different sect why wouldn't that have happened to reptiles? Because... Because... Why would that not have happened if that shit didn't happen? If they had enough time to evolve like we did since they were gone, why couldn't that have happened? There's so many...

Look, with the amount of fucking galaxies there are? Diggs, that's my argument. That's my only argument. There's so many stars in the universe. There's... For the thing to be replicated, closer, maybe not the exact, but very, fucking. similar is probably out there. Like why the fuck not? I'm sure there's something similar out there, but the idea that the that the majority would be similar or the idea that like anything

that would come into contact with us would be, would have to be similar because there's other things similar. It's like, is where I think it's a bit. I say similar in the point of like, what I mean is like the reason that we walked upright is because that's just how our planet is. It's advantageous for us to do that. What if there's a planet with like super high gravity and There's not things really high up, really. Then there's no real reason for that, is there? Literally, you're describing... I'm describing...

I'm describing... You're describing Mass Effect. The species that they have, they thought about this stuff. Like, there's these species called the Elkhore when their gravity is so insanely heavy. And they're just the way that they walk, the way they evolved. And also still slowly developing stuff where they don't have any emotion. So they have to say things before they actually talk, like, with excitement. you know because it's just though it's cool how they thought about this shit because of these environments

the reason why the quarians wear suits because they didn't have the bacteria to build up an immune system on their planet the way that other like humanoids have so once they go outside of it they're fucked they would just dive they came in contact with things so i like what they did because they're just like within the milky way galaxy pretty much almost everyone's a humanoid but just to varying degrees because like the same shit is still in the same relative area so I feel like that the way the ones the only because what there's only probably like I don't know how many species are in mass effect but there's like a decent amount yeah but the thing is that is nothing compared to how many how many stars there are right so it seems like I think they did a pretty good job with like

showcasing here's how many species there are sped around how insanely huge the Milky Way galaxy is and I feel like that's very plausible. in a sense that like, I mean, obviously not like, yeah, you know what I mean. I just mean that like somewhere, somewhere on the Milky Way or in another galaxy, the same type of materials or in the relative area. Yeah, something could happen.

We could get some humanoids in another galaxy, maybe, or I always like. We could even possibly just get humans, but they would just be from somewhere else. It's unlikely. Don't get me wrong. It would fucking blow my mind. I would love that scenario,

If humans were just the winners, if humans were just the winners and like that we win, like we are going to make it. If there were humans, like they just looked like us, I would one, I would be one billion percent convinced that we're in a simulation. Like one billion that you couldn't convince. No, that might be, that might mean God is real. That might actually just straight up mean like God is real and he's made humans only. God essentially is a creator of the simulator. That's what people think he is. They basically think like, oh, this guy created our simulation.

You know, so, like, it could just be... Who knows? I wish I knew. All I'm saying is the likelihood that an alien is going to have as human a pussy as possible, I find very unlikely. But what if it has a self? What if an alien had a pussy that was like one of those fucking turbo fleshlights? Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.

But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be. shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Cayman's in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamod.

Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Bill. board of years recently, it said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion

recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always. always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You would be like, oh, no, and you wouldn't fuck him. I wouldn't fuck him either. Derek would fuck him and find out. He'd be like, oh, this is great. And I'd be like, wow.

Yeah. That's crazy. Good for you. It's silly that, like, I'm saying, if a hot alien was like, I want to give you the greatest intergalactical or intergalactic sex, I'm telling you you're going to die afterwards because of how good it is. It's like, I don't want to reference Mass Effect again. But, no, I'm just saying, I feel like it's such a,

it's like the question if aliens landed and said, hey, homie, we want to show you what we're all about, but you would have to leave everybody behind, you got to go. It's like one of those things where it's like, it's a very difficult decision to make, but at the same time, I'm like, fuck, man, that opportunity, Like you don't even want to think about it.

You're just going to be like, oh, no. No. I'm fine. I'm fine with my fucking, with my McDonald's and shit. And I'm fine with my, with my PS5. A okay with that shit. A okay. That's what I'm saying.

This is why we're in such shitty. We don't, city situations because we don't have people that want more. That's not true. A lot of people want more. They just don't want more the right way. The people that want more would fucking go or they would fuck the alien. And then there's all you young people.

that wouldn't do shit. Look, you go ahead, you go ahead, and then you come to us the next day and you're like emaciated because it's been high fit,

it's been siphoning yourselves from you because it's a fucking alien. That's sick, man. Like, look, I'm telling you. No, you're sick, Derek, you're sick.

That is a risk. I was going to say that, Chris. To interact with a fucking alien, man. No. It's like, come on.

The fucking opportunity to have something like that happened that you just would never think that would ever happen in your lifetime. I'll talk to an alien. I'll hang out with an alien. I'm not going to fuck it.

I feel like, yeah, whatever. I wouldn't touch it either. For the same reason that I would, you know, I talk to my dog. I'm like, hey, how's he going? Come here, come here. They're not the same, though. Yes, it is. It's a being that I'll hang out with and I'll be around and I'll see it and I'll exist with it.

But I'm not going to fuck it because I'm not fucking, what's his face? Kiro the wolf. Listen to me, Chris. Listen to me, Chris. All right. I'm not listening to you. A dog is not sentient. A dog can't say yes.

or communicate a yes. That's not what I'm saying. Imbecile. That's not what I'm saying. No, if an alien could, if someone wants to fucking alien, I'm not going to hold that against them. I'm just not going to trust them again because they fucked an alien. That's it. That's it.

People would be fucking, look at man. Nah, you guys just, I think it's one of those things that you, it's so situational. It would have to happen for you to even like really fully grasp how fucking insane of a scenario that would be. So like, I totally agree. Like the way that you're acting, oh, whatever, yeah, if an alien literally showed up, you would not have that same fucking, oh no, you would probably actually go along

and actually get assaulted by the alien because you'd be afraid. You're going to give it to its demands knowing how technologically and superior it is in every way, shape, or form, you know what I mean? It would just have to be as humanoid as possible to the point where it's basically just a person. Like, I wouldn't sleep with an alien

that looked anything less than human. I wouldn't even be able to do it. You're talking about like if it had like, so like the way that Lear is, where she has like tentacle head and then that's it. Everything else is like very human. Nope. That, that would deter you? Nope, not. I can't do that.

They're signing D&D called teethlings, but they are straight up just like infernal people. They have like tails and horns and they're, female ones are hot. I would go as far as to say that. There are hot female teethlings. I wouldn't fuck one. I wouldn't even fucking elf. I wouldn't do that. And elves are just pretty people with sharp ears.

Literally has fucking sharp ears. Sharp ears and I wouldn't fuck one. Nope. That is the only difference. Nah, I wouldn't put my dick in the off. No, thank you. So basically you're telling me that like any woman that cosplays, you would just never fuck them.

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't fuck that woman because I know that woman's a woman. If I was going to fuck that woman, I'd try to take her ears off and her ears and come off, I'd be like, oh my God, and I'd run away. I'm like, oh my God, you're real and I'd run away. I think you guys are just fucking huge bigots. Maybe.

You can't prove it. That's definitely true. That's 100% true. I can't prove it. It's literally, it's like, it's, it's just one step above basically you're like, oh, this, this fucking like, you know, oh, this person looks so vastly different from me, I would not touch them. So what? So what? It's very similar.

So what? All right. So what? I mean, I just, hey, big. Bigotry's alive. Well. So what? So what?

I think the interplanetary nature of it kind of softens the bigotry a little bit. But that's a debate for another time. Yeah. We have hit our time. Not fucking no fucking tentacle-headed bitch. She'd probably put her tentacles in my mouth and I'd vomit. I don't want that. Let's all calm down.

Yeah, that is something that I don't want. That's so, I don't know, man. The tentacles, the tentacles to me, like, tentacles specifically are just something that, like, I don't. You're probably picturing them, like, wiggling and shit. Because they probably do that. They're just, yeah, but dude, they're just like, I say when I referenced Lear, where they're just there. It's just there. It almost looks like, I know.

I know what she looks like. So it's like you don't want to fuck some bitch with cornrows, man. I don't want to fuck some bitch with tentacle corn rolls. Regular cornrows is fine. That's fine. God, all right, whatever, man. I can't convince you all to fuck some alien plus. It's fucking disappointed.

What if that's the tentacles at the resting state? And then the tentacles when a row start doing a whole. whole tentacle thing. What tentacles do fucking flip and flop around? If you put soy sauce on Learra, what happens? Damn, probably screams. Yeah.

Probably screams loud. I don't know, man. Leave her alone. All right. Well, if by some miracle you made it to this point after this incessance, uh, consider supporting us over at Patreon.com slash

a snark tank. One dollar month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes. $5 gets you your questions read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment and you're in for good. And 25 gets your name dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will now do. Sweeney, cut me down.

Three, two, one. Oh, nice. Antifas Maximus, basher of fash. The clothes in the yard that got soaked with milk, so I have to do the lawn dairy. You suck. I'm banning you. Don't ban him. Don't ban him.

Your money means nothing. We'll just beat him. We'll just beat him. We're going to find him. He's going to show up to one of the cons over there and we're going to handle him. I have his information. I have his email address and I have, I've got his credit card. That's so fucking bad.

I'm just kidding. We don't actually have that. Not gay Ben. Paranthesis I'm not gay. I'm not gay. God is dead and the invincible man who screams the N-word killed him. Oh, N-man. What was his name?

the character we've made up? And man. He becomes invulnerable when he screams the animal. He becomes like a superperson for a few minutes. White guilt paying his reparations. Middleman Miguel, John Strickland,

Boo Sniggins. That's pretty good name. Merck's 1889. Merks. Merck's boy. Merck boy. The milk man that looks like Chris. Okay.

Dank magician of chaos. God give me cancer or give it to anybody. It don't matter. Damn. Did you guys ever see that Philly Odd Parents meme Where it's like, I hope everybody that dies goes to hell no matter what?

That is my favorite fucking meme Because it's just evil. That's pretty evil. Everybody goes to hell no matter what. I don't have a favorite meme Because I'm old enough to pay taxes. Really? The trans girl from episode 66,

Sagween Cynthia. Jack McCann? The Irishman who will gape Chris's untouched bussy. Oh, let's hope not. Untouch, I don't know about that. Yeah, untouched something. That's an assumption. I will take the whole snark tank crew to Brazil as punishment for their sins.

When in doubt, sploge it out. The first Church of Keith David, Goops McKenzie. Yes, I did do a flip. Wait, what? Yes, I did yell, do a flip as she was lowered into her grave. Why aren't you laughing? Holy shit. Levi Sutton.

Mrs. Mike Rapini. Two fetus is tied together and used as nunchucks. Femboy Hooters waiter. Sammy and his... That's pretty good. That reminds me of like Kung Pow. Something. Oh, because he did the gopher chucks.

He did the gopher. That's what it was. That's so stupid. Sammy and his big titty fishy. Charlotte Gerdei. Jerday. Jerday? It was, God damn it.

Whatever. Drunken Dahlahan. Hey, I'm trans too. Yay for diversity. one take my butt virginity. All right, let's calm down. Pre-rise. I took all the vaccines at once and evolved to a higher state of being.

Come, man, the man of come. Big Dick, tellytovey, watch his tummy while you gurgle that cummy. Blake 896, Pinyap Vivo, the Epic Oshawa, silly putty eater, future Hendrix, the Messiah of Masagasy. Ace, man, fucking kill me. Chris, listen to the killing tree. Tim McIlwrit's ban from the early 2000s. If you like him, subscribe to Dr. Purple on YouTube.

I have listened to them, by the way. Eat that under a... Oh. That's a rough one. I get it. EDP 445. There we go. Damn, that's pretty good.

You almost got me. Holman Brown, 98. Hey, boss, it's time for my monthly plea to get Chris and Derek to follow me on Twitter. I cry every night. Ryan Luchessey, your crimes against the horny will have your cummy-wummy rights removed. Oh, my God.

You guys are fucking. into generous. So much cummy-wummy. What's going on? There's a lot of cummy-wamy, and I don't know how to feel about that. Sloshy Scout, Atrosone, go-go-gadget, magic eight ball that tells you how to abuse human rights. I want Derek to pound my tight little bussy. There's a lot of bussy, too. Whoa!

Tom Sweetie, the atrocious alien fucker. Please check out my podcast. How do we get here every Thursday? Second page. Leroyerjerkens. God damn it. Michelle Obama accidentally sat on the drone strike button again. Fuck you, Sweeney. One piece is not trash. You troglody night. It is. It is. It's really bad. It is.

Thanks for your money. Thanks for your money, but it is. Hard hat skydiver. Ben Shapiro's secret AOC worship room. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian. I agree with the tomboy person. Maximo's quivering asshole. I was cock blocked by a turtle. Alaskin oil fill trash.

Lieutenant Lipton's famous teabag facials. Not an FBI agent. Juan Punchman. Marcus Shorten. Jim Crow's daddy issues. A busy. Popinnergle. Fuck you, Baltimore.

Okay. He has a problem with Baltimore, I guess. Buy him. by him divide in Biden's booty hymen Oh Game controller 25

Chris's cumster dumpster Murder ascended David Connolly The dyslexic that feels Chris's pain Chris Raygun is the pinnacle of health Lobotomized Jesus is my drooling divine savior

Haco 7 year old fetus Moto zealid Hey you you're finally awake You were trying to cross the border Right? Walked right into that imperial ambush Same as us And

And that's where it ends It has an end at the end Oh what? Yeah, it just ends at end. Hiroshima spicy mushrooms. Honest Aves, delicious goo crape cookbook. Derek's unyielding sex drive. Dummy Thumbie Thubbe Thubbeau of New York City.

Uncle Tony's Will Live Forever, you plastic snapple bottle. The root and tootin, pussy, booty, lute, shoot, and sex machine. Seam and shoot in. Seam and Shoe In. Jackson Ave Sage, badly brave, jolly old dipshit. Ethereum Mrs. Buttergumachon. Chris Gate, My Pergerian, Hunting Ass, Deflated Left Ascheek. All Hands on Dick.

Sunny Chance, Derek, you should listen to Jezebel by Acid Bath. It's a good song. Melfis One, Harbinger of the Corporate Internet. Richter 86. The last one. The last, but not the least. Certainly not the... The king.

The king. King. If hap-hazard. Hap hazzard. That's it, guys. I'm fucking hungry. So I'm gonna go... I'm gonna gargle so much cum.

Yummy, yummy, don't come in my tummy. Off we go. We're out. Beach. If you want something done right, you do it yourself. That's why you change your own oil. You wouldn't trust your engine to just anybody. So go with the full synthetic motor oil you can trust.

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