The Snark Tank - #71: Fight Night
Episode Date: June 11, 2021YouTubers are boxing again, Gorillas vs Bears, Jeff Bezos fucks off to space, Samsung fetish fuel, and more nonsense on this episode of The Snark Tank! Don't forget to eat your vitamins. Advertising I...nquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of the Snark Tank podcast.
It's me, Chris.
I'm here with Derek.
I'm here with Sweeney.
We're still doing this.
Yeah, you're just going to stare?
stare at the fucking, what are you doing?
Sweeney, I was going to come on the podcast, but you're an asshole.
I'm Keith David.
Something like that.
I didn't get that at first.
Yeah, it's not, you know, I don't got it down on the way, but I think I got the cadence down.
Private Allen.
It's definitely not incorrect.
It's not the best, but you'll get there.
It peters out.
Everyone has moments of sounding like it peters out because only he has that voice.
Exactly.
He recently had a birthday, so happy birthday, my niggoo.
Happy birthday, Keith David.
All love to the most high.
God bless you, Keith, David.
We've got a lot to talk about since we didn't go last week.
So there's a good amount of, well, there is an exclusive solo episode on the Patreon where a Sweeney answered some of your questions, which is great because now I can do my next one.
So that'll be coming soon.
There's exclusive, load them up.
Yeah, there'll be exclusive solo shows.
on the Patreon if you're interested.
But, man, what do we even want to start with?
I assume the big thing, the most recent thing to happen,
this Floyd, Mayweather, Logan, Paul, fight, or, I mean,
fight is like a pretty generous word to describe what that was.
It was a fight.
It was this.
Jamberie, something like that.
It was a bonanza, but I call it a fight.
I don't know.
It was a, I saw the whole thing.
it was a fight. I think it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a spar. Let's be real. I saw one clip where
Logan just didn't stop flailing. Yeah. Oh, the button mashing. Yeah, the button mashing sequence
where like, I was just like, what the fuck is happening? And the rest of it I saw screenshots of
just them hugging the whole time, which, yeah, Logan, Logan was hugging a lot.
That's all he does. There was a lot of Pride Month memes associated with, with the, with the match.
Yeah.
Floyd, this isn't you.
That was my favorite one.
I think I saw, I think I saw like 40 of those jokes in a span of like 10 minutes on Twitter.
And I was like, yep, okay.
They hugged a lot because that's what boxing is, apparently.
I don't know, man.
I didn't know this fight was even happening until it was like maybe 10 minutes from completion.
Oh, same.
Like, I thought this would have been a bigger deal than it was.
But it just wasn't.
Well, it wasn't because Logan,
no one gives a fuck about Logan Paul right now.
He's not doing anything to garner hate.
Like, say, everybody's talking about Jake Paul
because he's being an asshole
and he's, you know, talking shit to the MMA community.
There's a huge thing going on over there.
Logan's not doing anything.
He's not even saying anything.
Yeah, he's not even saying anything controversial on his podcast.
He's just having a regular podcast.
So nobody gave a fuck.
So the point where I took a nap, I woke up and checked my Instagram, and there's this fucking weirdo name Hardcore Nick, or Hard Rock Nick, sorry. Hard Rock Nick on Instagram. He's fucking, he's a trip. And I only remembered the match because he was like, oh, I'm, see if you can see me in the crowd or some shit. And I was like, wait, it's Sunday. Because I would assume, oh, fights are on Saturdays. So what the fuck? Like, I didn't think there was anything on Sunday anyway. So I damn near missed it too.
and yeah and and who gives a shit
it was a it was a fight
Logan Logan had a strong first round
because he was doing a lot he was doing a lot the first round
well he knew he had to he had to
that was his only shot
but what happened was after that
Floyd was playing with him
was playing with his food
because every time Logan got hit Logan would like realize
oh shit I'm fighting a
probably the best one of the best boxes of all time
so he would hit him and Logan be
like, oh shit, because Floyd would just go into the pocket because he knows how to fight.
He's like, I'm not going to entertain this guy's range.
I'm just going to push up on him.
Floyd hit him.
Logan would be like, oh, shit.
And he'd, you know, start trying to swing sporadically.
And then Floyd would be like, all right, I'm just going to go in again.
Because Floyd looked perfect after all eight rounds.
And Logan looked bad in like the third round.
Yeah.
I mean, he's over 200 pounds when he's fully, you know, hydrated, completely gassed for trying to fight somebody like him.
I mean, when you, when you, anybody that has any understanding of like,
boxing or sparring during rounds, you, with three minutes, it sounds like, oh, that's just
three minutes.
It's, but it seems like fucking forever.
Like after a round, you're like, holy shit, I'm kind of tired.
That's, it's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Think of how fast fights stop in actuality.
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Hey, how's it going today? It's going
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do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an
attorney and a managing partner at
Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest
injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
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Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
Like, I'm pretty sure I've never had a fight more than,
more than maybe three minutes.
Maybe.
Because fights don't last that long.
Yeah.
For me, nowhere near that.
Nowhere near that.
It's definitely like half a minute.
Yeah, fights are quick enough for, you know,
to speed run in, like, you know,
compilations.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So I respect Logan for doing what he did.
So wait a minute.
So who won?
Well, so first of all, there's no judgeings because nobody would sanction it.
Nobody would sanction it.
So there were no judges.
But Mayweather definitely won.
Like, if there were judges, they couldn't sanction it because of how stupid it was.
Mayweather is 44 years old and he weighs less than 160 pounds.
they just wouldn't sanction it.
They wouldn't because usually you'll do like a catchweight when it's so different.
But it's way too different to nobody wanted to sanction it.
So they didn't.
They couldn't have some fucking guy there though.
They couldn't have at least some guy being like.
They had honorary ESPN or Showtime people do it behind the scenes.
Like if we scored it like say it would have been like, you know, Logan was down pretty much.
He didn't win any rounds essentially.
Like so maybe he won some.
I don't know.
I don't think he did.
The people.
Some people assume that he may.
once because maybe he did a little bit more in the beginning but if you even if you run the if you run it
back a little bit and just watch it so damn near got knocked down and this was really interesting
Logan damn near got knocked down at one point because he got hit he got hit in the ear and so his
equilibrium was gone but mayweather was kind of propping him up anybody else probably would just let
him fall and they would account as a knockdown which made me think that mayweather probably
has a lot of money riding on nobody getting knocked down because you know you bet
bet on everything. So I bet
like he controlled the fight so
much to the point where, because he was talking
about like, you know, like, oh, who's going to get knocked down?
Which round? And that depends on how much money you want to bet.
And he probably had his
people bet all this money
about no one getting knocked down.
And because Logan was about to get
knocked down, you'd see him. He's like
supporting him. Like Logan's like, oh.
It looks like a fucking like Pinocchio
or some shit on strings before he's like
turns into a gay boy or whatever. And then
he's just like, oh. And I was like, oh, that's
crazy. Like, he's completely controlling this one billion percent walking him down. He's walking
down a giant. What little man walks down somebody that big? It's supposed to be the opposite.
Like, I'm the bigger guy. I'm going to come after you and smash you. It was really interesting.
But yeah, Floyd was controlled that whole fight. It was really, it was funny. It's funny watching
Logan Paul just realized that he's not a boxer. Like him realizing himself.
I mean, surely he knows that. The, the thing that's concerned.
confusing. So Floyd Mayweather, he's, has he been like retired for a while? Is that, is that what's, is that a thing? So he came out of retirement to do this thing that wasn't even sanctioned for like no reason. Like I just don't understand what the purpose is. It was an exhibition match. So he wasn't out of retirement. He was just having an exhibition match. Because I'm pretty sure it was for charity. Some of the money was for charity. But it was pretty much like, oh, I'm not going to risk my title fighting this guy that's way bigger than me and just has the potential to if he hits.
me the right way could pretty easily
knock me out. So this is a quick
sparring match between two people.
But he's like a professional boxer.
Like, why would he even be,
why would he even be slightly worried
about fighting Loebuckold? Because you can still get
knocked unconscious by somebody that's much bigger than you.
Boxing's fucking stupid, man. It's a
fucking dumb sport. They call it the, they call it
the puncher's chance, right? Like any
slack-jawed yokel could knock
out a professional if he just hits
the right angle, hit the right button as they say.
But here's the thing.
One of the reasons why there was never any buzz is because Mayweather, even him being,
Logan Paul being a giant, Mayweather is too good and too elusive to where people are just like,
I can't, look, he fought Canello in his, you know, I wouldn't say, I feel like Camel was better now,
to be honest, but even when he was undefeated back in the day.
He was out of his prime, for sure, but he still destroyed Canello.
Who the fuck is Cornetto?
C Conello?
Oh.
Wait, were you being serious?
I forgot his name.
I forgot his name.
Canelo Canelo Averez.
He's the, he's the, the ginger Mexican.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah, like super Irish looking, but he's like.
He's a puncher, bro.
He's a bitch.
I like him.
He's a beast.
I like, I like, I like, I like, he talks too much.
He talks a lot of shit.
And all of them, we're doing all that celebrity shit.
Who?
Who? We're talking about Canello?
Oh, Canello.
Canelo's got a mouth on him.
Oh, he had the audacity to say that.
I mean, why wouldn't you?
But he said that, like, in his prime, he could have beat Mayweather.
And I was like, ah, you were in your prime when you fought Mayweather and you lost, bro.
You definitely lost.
And I was like, well, Canello's got a little bit of mouth.
He is currently the best, though.
He's currently the best.
I give him that.
In his weight class, he's, he's number one right now.
But he's got a slow his role.
I mean, he's, I think he's pound for pound without, with Mayweather being
retired because he only lost him Mayweather.
He's still, he's, he's the shit.
But like, who cares?
He lost the Mayweather greatly.
But he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, did he lose Triple G?
He didn't lose Triple G both of those fights.
He beat him both times.
Or he drawed him once, I think, right?
I think there was draws, and then Candela came on top.
Yeah, no, no one cares about Russian fighters.
Dude, no one cares about Russia anymore.
They're gone.
As far as boxing goes, no, anytime I want to hear about Russia, like, I don't want to care
about their bots.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The only thing I appreciated with Russia
is wide Putin.
That was it.
Those wide Putin memes,
I don't know where they came from,
but you just stretch it,
like just completely stretch footage
that's maybe supposed to be like four by three.
And then it's just over that weird song
and he's just walking.
I don't understand it,
but I was like, this is, I like this.
That reminds me of the,
that reminds me of those,
do you remember when,
you remember what,
you ever stretched out stout scarce
when that was like,
Yeah. Yeah. Classic. That's
classic fucking air.
Or putting to making a bird wave at him, bro.
That shit was crazy. It's the funniest new ever dog.
Dude, that was a fucking lot. That was a spy bird.
Like, how the fuck did that bird do that?
It was a bird that knew if it didn't wave back, it would have got killed.
So it waved back immediately.
I mean, that bird waving is obviously a fake video.
But I wanted to believe so hard that that was real, you know, that a bird.
would just completely ignore its physiology and wave in a way that it obviously can't and wasn't evolutionarily designed to do.
Yeah, no, I don't know, man.
I wanted.
People are catching weird shit.
Animals doing weird shit, man.
There's a video of a of a bear seeing a knocked over traffic cone and then it puts it back in its place.
What are you talking about?
What are you saying?
A bear like saw that there was some symmetrical, like it was, like, it was, what's the word I'm looking for?
it was fucked up.
Like, there was some symmetry going on
with these traffic cones
and it's like, this isn't right
and it fixed it
and then went about its day.
That's wild.
It's just like it's...
Bears are strange animals, bro.
They are.
Dude, did you see that fucking,
that teenager pushed that bear
that was trying to attack its dogs?
Yeah, yeah.
Shove the bear, yeah.
Shove the bear over a fence.
The fucking a teenager.
I thought like,
oh, this is probably some mom
that doesn't give a fuck
about living anymore.
But there's like some kid that's like, oh, get away from my dogs and shoves a fucking grown-ass bear.
People in my Twitchshod have the audacity after a video like that to say, oh, I would rather fight a gorilla than a bear.
You're fucking out of your goddamn mind.
You're crazy.
I would too.
You don't understand.
How would you not?
You would rather fight a gorilla than a bear?
I'd rather fight a gorilla than a bear.
Wait, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the.
The problem is
Chris, you would rather fight a bear than a gorilla?
A bear is a bitch.
A bear can be pushed over a fence
and be scared away by just puffing your chest out
and standing straight up.
I know this because I've seen bears in person
multiple times and I've never once been afraid.
The first time I saw it, I was like,
huh, concerning.
And then I remember,
literally the basic step-by-step programming as if it's like the way you make popcorn
just like oh how to get a bear to leave you alone and then you do that and it does it
a gorilla does not have that predictability because it is as complex as we are and it's going
to do whatever the fuck that's a stupid thing to say are you're not compared to a bear my guy
gorillas most likely just won't hurt you because they just don't hurt people they just
really don't they're like they just don't except for that kid that
got dragged through the fucking mud.
It wasn't hurt.
It literally could have popped it with its fingers.
It could have popped its head with his fingers.
Yeah.
If he wanted to kill it, he could have slapped it and he died, dude.
You don't think he knew what he was doing.
He was trying to get some fucking hostage so he could barter away out of there.
I wanted to play with them probably.
It was probably like, oh shit, look at that.
It wanted to play with them.
Yeah.
Because gorillas are super nonviolent.
They would drag you a little bit.
Gorillas might be nonviolent, but a bear is a programmed being.
You can just do everything by the books to get a bear to go away from you.
You can.
I've done it.
I'm five foot four.
That by all means.
I don't believe anything.
You don't have to.
I'm sorry.
You had a bear going to attack you and then you did what you had to do.
No, it's just there's a bear around whenever you go camping and shit in the fucking wherever the fuck we went.
We drove some bullshit woods.
And there's bears in the woods.
You come across them.
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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,
which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
They're half domesticated,
like stray fucking cats hanging around a liquor store.
It's completely different.
Like, they're there, but they know what humans are.
Right.
As opposed to going somewhere where fucking Joe Logan and his dumb-ass friends
would go to, like, shoot things in the face.
were if you encounter one of those things
Like trying to like
You'll kill you
Play dead
It's just gonna eat your face off
Yeah as opposed to a wild gorilla
Well a gorilla
See what a grill is gonna do first
Is pound the ground
It's gonna slap the ground
To be like get the fuck away from me
Does scare you away
If you don't leave
Then it'll up and cut your head off
So it's pretty simple
Like no it'll charge you
It'll charge you first to get you to run away
That's the next step
The first thing guerrillas usually do
Is they pound the ground
It's like the, it's, I always feel like, cat, imagine getting slapped by a fucking gorilla.
What do you see is slap the ground and then like all this shit just like, like,
Donkey Kong.
Yeah, like, yeah, like, yeah.
That one, getting slapped by a gorilla would be so.
I want to see a gorilla go to like a club.
I want to see a gorilla like go to a club and like, you know, just like, grab this girl's ass, you know,
and then this dude comes like, what the fuck?
and the girl slaps the guy
and his head is completely
gone.
His head's completely gone,
but the thing is the club is still just going.
Pumping.
Bumping, bro.
This man's death meant nothing to anybody in the club.
Everybody's dancing.
The girls dance with the gorilla now.
Like, it's the fucking tambourn.
Everybody's tripping.
Everybody's tripping on something.
They probably don't even know that had happened.
It's like strobe lights going off.
They're like, whoa, do you see that?
Do you guys get that hallucination?
too about that guy who got killed by a gorilla in the middle of the club crazy right but you know why
people are kind of accepting of it so let me give you the spectro quick right what well what we got here
so what happens is that guerrillas are way stronger than they should be for their size size wise
gorillas are incredibly powerful so they are stronger than bears bears way more and they're much
bigger and they have these things called claws which are knives attached to their hands
So, you see, they don't even have to hit you hard.
All they got to do is to swing by you, and they have a little bit of range to cleave you open.
Now, a gorilla, in theory, is more dangerous as a smarter animal.
But gorillas are not hostile.
They're not predators at all.
They don't hurt people often.
Bears aren't inherently hostile either.
Bears are actually super sociable and very chill.
That's not true.
Bears are hostile.
Oh, my fucking God.
No, those are bears that often see people.
No, no, bears are so acclimated to people for the most part, the ones we encounter.
If we go to like a mountainous area where there are just like bears and like goats and shit,
it'll try to eat you because it's like, oh, your food.
What is he doing?
That's why bear attacks were so common in the beginning of the country.
Swin, swing, swing.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Are you downloading like 10 fucking terabytes of porn?
I'm not downloading anything.
Why are you so delayed?
Are you not wired?
What?
What? Is your, is your computer not wired into the...
No. I've never been wired.
Why are your...
Ethernet, baby.
I've been doing this the whole time, bro.
So who wins?
Yogi Bear or...
Or, um...
Or, or Girolla Grod, who wins?
Girligrida, you see.
Guerrilla Grod.
I think Yogi's got some fucking moves, dude.
Yogi...
Yogi is evlusive.
Yogi is cunning.
He is cunning.
He can trick.
He can put bombs in a picnic basket.
Daryla Grod went back in time to assault Barack Obama and he just did that.
Like he's not fighting Yogi Bear with any semblance of a threat.
But did he actually complete, he didn't actually kill Obama, right?
I didn't see the episode.
He failed.
I'm assuming he failed.
Can you imagine that's just part of the flash universe?
The Gorilla Grod goes back in time kills Barack Obama?
Who the fuck is our president then?
I
Gorilla Croticane
It was McCain
Oh my God
I'm sure he'd come to some sort of agreement
No
No yeah he failed because of
Bo and then
But I feel like
Yogi
Would trick Obama
And would offer him
A picnic basket
Because you know
Normally he's trying to steal picnic baskets
But he finally got the picnic basket
From Yellowstone Park
Or wherever jellystone
Or wherever the fuck he lives
got the picnic basket
and he filled it with anthrax
and then offers Obama a sandwich
filled with antithras
so let me get this straight
what we're doing right now is we're pitting
these animals against each other
not in a battle of sheer strength
or will but whether
or not they would
succeed in assassinating
Barack Obama in the past
the 44th president if I'm not
mistaken
or 14th.
42nd.
I mean, I guess, I guess Yogi Bear would win.
I give it to a good rod.
Because he's, here's the thing, he's a two-dimensional cartoon character.
And they have, they don't, by definition, they're almost not even bound by the rules that bound the rest of us or that bind the rest of us.
So I'm going to go, yogi.
They're bound by more.
No, they're not.
Yeah, they are.
He just turned sideways and go invisible.
You know how valuable that would be as like a, it's like an ability?
that's crazy
they can't see it right in front of them they can only see
this to the side
which is insane
fucking lunatics
I'd be terrifying to see
2D people
2D things in fucking
in real life
that would be
just in a 3D space
that's not how that works
you're walking down the street
and it looks empty until you cross
and then you realize the street is
full of people walking this way
that is a wild
scenario
that could kill me
That could kill me.
That could scare me to depth.
You think if somebody runs, a 2D person runs really fast into you?
They cut somebody half?
Yeah, what they fucking just slice you up?
Well, what is the texture of their thinnest?
Like, would it be like, would it be so thin that it's essentially a blade?
Or would it just be like a really thin, like slab of meat hitting you?
You know?
That's a good point.
That's weird.
So are they like super vulnerable from that angle?
Like say...
Because there's two dimensions.
They have no depth.
That means that if you hit them,
you'd be able to pretty much punch through them.
But you'd have to hit them from the side.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
What if the wind blows?
Can they stop the...
Like, can they stop?
Like, what do they weigh, you know?
Like, where's their weight at?
I think...
Oh, man.
This is getting too much.
This is starting to stress me out.
Anyway...
This is why 2D things can't exist on 3D plane.
That's why we can't.
One thing I will say.
One thing I will say, every time this conversation started with the bear and the gorilla, you keep bringing up polar bears. Polar bears are completely different thing. A polar bears are going to discerate you. A polar bears. A polar bear is like a polar bear not only is that thing so removed from anything that's around us, but it's like it's also way bigger and fucking. And starving. Because it's not the other family to eat. And starving. There's no like, there's no, you know, Yahoo answers on how to deal with a polar bear that is reliable enough to actually employ in practice. That is not something you want to go around. Polar bears. Polar bears are like the top.
at the top, you know, gorillas.
No, they're chill.
You give them a fucking Coke.
Get them a Coca-Cola, and they'll become your best friend.
Try it.
Shut a stupid, fucking white polar bear bitch ass up.
All right.
Going to water and kill seals.
Fuck you.
Do you think if you gave a polar bear Coca-Cola, do you think it would react well to that?
Are they capable of digesting that?
Probably not.
Most likely not.
It might develop.
What if that becomes its new diet?
Like, once you just, it tastes that shit.
It's like, dude, fuck these seals.
like teal seals tastes like shit i like that coke man give me fucking bear diabetes and shit
and then that's that's in its DNA now bear me fucking bear be like and the babies now they
they have a like a taste for coke and now they somehow make a ship out of ice to sail
to the to the nearest i don't know coke manufacturer can even and then that's it it's new
beginnings.
That is
a ship out of
ice.
Yeah.
That is the most insane
should have
making a ship.
How
evolution, baby?
How effective
would that be
really?
A ship out of ice?
If you had
if it was,
assuming,
obviously,
let's assume this is not
a fucking engine
boat or anything
because obviously
it's going to melt
with all the heat.
But like,
theoretically.
Eyes is really
boignant.
So in theory,
I guess,
that might work.
Boinient?
Yeah,
boignant?
Aboyant? My bad.
Boignant.
It's really good at floating ice.
Yeah.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll be good.
It'll be like if they just make, just get a giant glacier and then they carve it out into a boat.
That seems more likely.
Yeah.
And they release whatever sort of fucking thing is frozen in the glacier.
Ever caught a disease or some shit?
It's frozen in the glacier.
And they sail it to the mainland.
For Coke.
For Coke.
And then they just see fucking all these polar bears.
rating the coke factory in fucking Tennessee or wherever the fuck it's at.
I think it's in Georgia.
Taring people the fuck up.
Taring people to fucking shreds.
That's a whole.
They cut someone open, pour coke inside of his stomach and eat his introos.
That's scary.
That is real.
Remember the fucking, uh, the scene from Model 1 for 2 when you're in Washington, D.C.
Like, I picture that when it's like just everything, you're actually trying to get
into the White House.
I picture just that, but bears.
You know what's funny?
I only know about that scene
because I used it in the video I did
about the Capitol Hill Riot,
where I was like,
they make video games
about trying to break into this place.
That's how hard it's supposed to be.
But, uh,
oh my God,
just desert,
just a fucking blitzkrague, bro.
Just straight forward every bear,
even the little ones.
It's just running straight towards the Coke
factory.
The little ones are the scariest ones because they could fit in places where the big ones
can't.
You know, they're crawling through the vents.
It's like a sea.
It's like a flood.
It's like fucking, uh, what is it?
A what?
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
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There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.
It was well loved.
There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay.
but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track
as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamod.
Hello, Lotus Alon, and the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts
and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's
largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said
$20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere
north probably closer to 22 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows
so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get
in contact with morgan and morgan what would i do if i got into an accident probably the easiest way is
dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call center is always
waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan from america's large injury law from
thanks for coming by the show
having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
It's like the flood, but little bears.
Little tiny bears.
I can't even imagine.
The premise of seeing many,
you know what it is?
The idea of many polar bears together
is literally something that I don't think is even possible.
Like, I don't even think that has ever happened.
Because they're so isolated.
Yeah, they're such isolated animals.
So the thought of them putting aside their differences
and sailing together is horrifying
because they're so violent and desperate and hungry
that like there's you can't reason with that
this is why it's not like it's not like these black bears
that are just like total bitches or these uh what are they what are the
are they brown bears or black bears which are which are the ones both there's both
like i've seen them like up close and in person they just sort of like
they're just like i don't know i've never seen you before but
I'm gonna go.
It's kind of the vibe I got
from every, I think I've seen like three bears in my life
up close in person.
And I forgot what you're supposed to do,
but like there was a thing that you did
and they just, they would just walk away.
You make yourself seem big is what I always heard.
I've never seen a bear in person.
Yeah, but it's not, I mean,
I mean, I was probably even less than 5'4 then,
so that's, I don't even know how that even works,
but we'll see.
You might have seen, because I know black bears
are the smallest ones, if I'm not mistaken.
And they're the ones that people usually push around
like get the fuck out of here. But then there are the big
brown ones that
sometimes they'll wave at you.
Like I don't understand. Like bears are so
halfway towards being pets. It's scary.
Yeah. Like they're like, they're like maybe like
one or two generations of us really
trying to like make them pets before you can go
buy a bear at like a fucking,
a breeder.
I don't think that's accurate. But
bears are fucking
enormous. So, I mean, I know what you're saying. They're like weirdly sentient in a way that
like a lot of animals aren't. Like the fact that they can wave and put traffic cones apparently
back where they're supposed to be and ride bicycles in Russian circuses. That stuff is like,
you know, that stuff is wild because you're not going to get like a Caboto dragon to ride a tricycle,
you know? You're not going to, you know, every Russian has a bear. I want to see that so badly,
though. That would scare this shit out of me. That would scare the fuck out of me, dude.
It should. But.
You know, that's, they're not trainable.
They're trainable in weird ways that, like, is not common with a lot of animals.
So, like, in my opinion, I wouldn't say you're ever going to get a bear and a fucking breeder.
They're just too big.
But you never know, dude.
But you're never, here's what you're never going to get.
A fucking gorilla.
Oh, absolutely.
Because a gorilla will probably find its way out.
Gorillas are smart.
Yeah, they are smart.
And they're also strong.
And they'll probably be like, hello, mommy.
And then they'll hug you.
And then you're fucking suddenly, you're spying.
goes numb. They don't do that.
They don't do that. They don't do that. But they're like, they're too, because people live with
gorillas. Like people live with gorillas. No, that's like not fake. Like people go and they spend
time with guerrillas like in the wild and in sanctuaries. That's like a real thing.
Yeah, fucking Tarzan, dude. Come on. Oh yeah, Tarzan.
Not like, it's not at like a hundred percent like not kidding, not joking. It's true.
Even Jane Goodall drew the line at chimpanzees, you know?
That's the chimpanzee woman.
She drew the line way too late, but still, yes.
By the way, chimpanzees, way smaller than gorillas,
fucking weak as hell in comparison.
Just will scrape your face off like the cream of an Oreo.
Just, there it goes.
Now you're a fucking homunculus.
Now look at you.
A chimpanzee will smack you in the back and you'll die, bro.
Now you can't open your iPhone because it won't recognize you.
And it's all because you fucking hung out with that chimp.
Are chimpanzees taller than gorillas?
No.
Because I think gorillas are bigger, but I don't think they're as tall.
What is Christ?
They're definitely taller as well too.
Yeah, because I don't remember how tall are good.
Because I know gorillas have really, really, really short legs.
Do you think chimpanzees are just slenderman?
They're thinner, they're thinner, but I thought they might have been tall.
I could be wrong, though.
No, that would be terrifying.
Like, if chips were, like, just as tall as, like, humans or some shit?
They're nearly.
No, they're not.
They're not nearly.
Okay, put average size of chimps.
So five feet tall, average grill.
A chimp is about like, what is it?
About 3.84 feet tall is a chimp.
Yeah, okay, never mind.
All right.
Yeah.
And a great ape is fucking certainly not.
It's five feet.
Put a silver bag.
They're about five.
They're only five feet tall.
That's crazy.
Well, yeah.
Their legs are pretty fucking small.
I mean, that's the only thing.
Like, if their legs were as big as their arms, imagine that shit.
Imagine that shit, dude.
They'd fucking be very tall.
They would have won a race evolution.
They would have won an evolutionary race, and they would have been like, they would have been gorillas.
But.
But here we go.
How tall is the tallest gorilla six foot five?
That's crazy.
Wait, what time period was that, though?
Shot in Al-a-Mongo, which is the place,
modern Kibu in May of 1938,
fucking six-foot-five gorilla.
Murdered in cold blood.
I just see that.
Fucking, when was basketball invented?
Murdering cold blood by some, by probably some white dude,
by some fucking white explorer that fucking couldn't do,
couldn't survive a hand-in-hand fight,
got killed this job.
Gigantic gorilla.
I don't know, man.
It's a murder.
Maybe, maybe it was a bear.
Maybe it was yogi.
He just got, dude, they literally killed fucking Bigfoot.
Like, that's, that was the fucking Sasquatch.
And he shot it in its face.
And it's like, oh, it's just a silverback or some shit.
And it fucking had, like, it had a name and necklaces and shit on it.
Yeah, it's just a silverback.
It had a silverback with a homemade vest on it.
And an ID.
It had a fucking.
It had a, fucking.
fucking Air Jordans.
He was carrying
fucking fruits
to his family
and he blew his
fucking head off.
What do you do
in this hypothetical
situation?
You're walking through
the woods.
A gorilla is
dead in the woods.
It's a six foot five
gorilla.
You look around
you notice that
it's holding a wallet.
It has an
ID in it.
It's a,
it's his ID.
And it's like
state of Utah or something.
It's like,
it's some fucking
like an officially licensed
gorilla.
Is it naked?
Is it naked?
Uh, yeah.
Or is it clothes?
It's a, I mean, it's a gorilla.
It's naked.
It's hairy.
It's naked, but it's naked, but essentially it's covered.
It had its wall, like, and it's fucking, like, black fucking gorilla.
Yeah.
I'm like, whoa, fuck, dude.
Yeah.
I wouldn't want to leave it.
I would have to bury it.
I'd have to go get a shovel and, like, at least bury him.
That's it?
I'd be like, yo, this thing lived in Utah and no one gave a fuck over there.
They just photographed.
it and issued it a fucking like an actual identification number.
I would love to have to have the the means and like equipment to just make fake IDs.
Like because if I could just like if I lived in upstate New York still because there's so many like dead deer and shit, I would have definitely been the person if I had the free time.
It's like, oh, a dead deer.
Take a photo, make a fake ID planted on it and just like let somebody else find it just to see the bewilderment.
You plant
You cut the deer
And you fucking
Somehow with enough time
You make it seem like
It's a pocket on the deer
They're checking the deer
And they open a wallet
With like $15 like a few cards
A receipt
And then a fucking ID
It's a Quiznos
A Quiznos like
A Quiznos like uh
A Quiznos card
Yeah
It's got like
He had seven stamps
He was so close to getting
A free Quiznos sub
In his wallet
It says
On my way to Quiznos honey
Or it says
Why would he say that?
Why would it say it would say it with his wallet?
And like a little note in his wallet.
And you're like, what the fuck?
Photo of his children.
I was going to say, yeah, a photo of his kids and fucking like just a family portrait.
Like that picture that they did with the death row or whatever where it's like all black.
They're all wearing black and like that perfect portrait.
I would, there's no way.
I'd have to be this has to be like a marketing stunt.
Like that, that when they did the.
Space Odyssey?
They did that 2000.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What was the whole thing,
the 2001 Space Odyssey thing
that they were moving around?
Remember that?
That happened last year, I think.
That fuck,
because you know, in 2001,
there's the,
the,
what is it, the,
yes.
Yeah,
and you're talking about the obelists
that, like,
the ones that, like,
popped up across the world or whatever.
Who fucking did that?
You know what that was for?
That was for Auntie Donna's
big old house of fun,
which was like this,
I swear to you,
it was just for this fucking
Australian sketch comedy,
show. It meant nothing.
It's a good show. It's a very amusing.
I love that show. But it's also like, why
the fuck did you? There's a video of them putting it up.
So those obelisk things everybody was freaking
out about was from Auntie Donnas? Yeah, they put them off.
I can't believe that. I can't believe
there's a video of them putting it up.
I thought it would have been from
something else that had to do with something.
Those things were just being found all over the place.
That's like bananas.
Yeah. I thought it was going to be like Arbys or something.
Arbys.
It was, well, I should say.
say at least one of them was on to i don't know if the whole thing was for that but i know one of
them was definitely them they put it up shit like that is why i can't trust i can't trust anymore
because you see shit like that and you're like oh this is this might be a sign of something really
crazy about to happen and then you find out these fucking australian comics did it and you're like well
i can't fight anymore what about um this fucking samsung woman i don't know if she has a name
this fucking samsung woman popped out of nowhere i saw her all
over my feed people were like simping left and right I don't get it I don't
understand it I cannot fathom how we went from nine foot tall vampire like big
titty lady to this them alien eyes man like people are really into the just
those giant doll anime eyes that look totally fake and creepy in my opinion but
people are really into that shit man
And like, that's, that's what, that's what the Sims want these days.
They want women to, like, sew their eyes open as far as possible.
And then they're like, now, now you look real.
Now you look like, now you look acceptable.
I just don't want any more women.
I just don't want women anymore.
Just take them, take them all away.
Go somewhere.
Like, go far.
Like, go far, far on your side.
And I'll stay on my side of my bros.
and we'll get drunk and kissing shit.
Like, go away.
Like, go off.
Go off.
Well, maybe they're geniuses.
Because what if it was some, like, huge busty-titted chick and maybe people would have overlooked it and be like, you're trying too hard.
I don't know.
Maybe, but this looks like an iridescent elf.
Like, I just don't understand, like, she's so scary pale and not even like a, not even in like a goth way.
Just like in a, like, I'm, I haven't eaten well.
for millennia and like i the sun is foreign to me and have i died yet maybe it's just a very like
unsettling paleness like i don't know how else to describe it well she she looks like a hybrid
she looks like a hybrid of like every tic-tok girl every like uh like she reminds me of a little
bit of like she's like every like she like that girl the leader or whatever the hell whatever fuck
her name is and tick talk and i mean she's got mom jeans on which is trendy now is it for like
yeah it's uh because you know it's always been like women for forever wearing tight jeans and they kind
of went back to like you don't i want to wear pants that are fucking above my belly button and i want
them very loose fitting like that's very that's very hot for a lot of people now um you know it is it's
It's never been my style, but, you know, I get it.
People are retro as fuck.
Just take them all away.
Go!
Go from here.
There's already so many, there's already so many foot drawings.
Of her, there's drawings of her feet?
Yeah.
It just.
Wow, the internet works fast.
I'll give him that, you know.
Yeah.
At the very, you know, God bless him.
I just want people to.
to live in reality, to be honest.
That's all I want.
I want, like, the people, like, they simp way harder for, like, fake girls than, like,
women that look at atomically correct.
Yeah.
I'm like, I can, there's a lot of women that don't look real at all that I'm like,
oh, yeah, that looks adorable.
That's cute.
But there is no, I have no desire to be like, I want to fuck that girl so bad.
You know, I don't have that, I don't have that.
Well, like the cartoon women?
Yeah.
There's people that are, they see the cartoons that are like, real women suck.
They look like shit.
And I'm like, damn, bro.
I have seen that.
That was a big meme.
It's like 2D, 2D women are better or whatever the fuck.
Like back in the, I remember that was a common thing on the internet back in the day.
I was like, holy shit.
I just, I, it's so fucking baffling.
But look, look, I don't even know if it's official, by the way.
It's easy to talk to a fake girl than a real girl, I guess.
Is it?
They don't talk back, though.
Like, it's so easy to talk to it?
them, no?
Okay, so hold on.
Samsung Sam, commonly referred to as Samsung Girl and Samsung Virtual Assistant is an unofficial
virtual virtual assistant for Samsung Design and presented by Visual Arts Production House
Light Farm in May of 2021.
The reveal was followed with memes and horny posting on social media, yeah.
So it's not, I guess it's not like proper.
It was, I guess, a pitch to them.
Ah.
Which is interesting.
That's such a fucking interesting pitch to just be like, oh, it's just a person.
It's just an elf lady
So I just stumbled upon a drawing
Where there is a BBC
Coming from the left side of the screen
And you can only see the BBC
And then it says
Can you fix my Samsung pen
And then she's holding a Samsung tablet
And blushing and like drooling with pleasure
Why would the British broadcasting company
Be helping this woman?
Yeah I know right
I'm not to confuse myself
Yeah
Yeah that's exactly
I too am confused.
Black Cock broadcasting.
That's a...
Big British black cock broadcast.
All right.
Well, we got...
What is this?
Did you hear about what Jeff Bezos is doing?
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche-Caeman GT4 on eBay.
It was well-love.
There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these
parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown
race car.
You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod.
Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.
eBay. Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.
1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere
north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our
army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an
accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 316.
five.
Wow. Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
After he retires?
What?
Gonna assimilate half the planet?
No.
So this is a real news report.
Jeff Bezos will be flying to space on the first crude flight of the new shepherd,
the rocket ship made by his space company, Blue Origin.
The flight is scheduled for July 20th, just 15 days after he is set to resign as CEO of Amazon.
So he's going to space.
He's just fucking off.
He's leaving.
He saved all that money just not paying his employees.
Crazy, man.
Yeah, all to get away.
He can't be arrested in space.
You know, what are they going to do?
The police don't have the funding for that.
You know, they're not going to chase him to fucking Alpha Centauri just because he just
missed out on paying his taxes for the last, like, forever.
They can't hear you screaming space, bro.
I just love the idea of this.
I just love the idea of just like, yeah,
the millionaires are just going to come here, destroy our planet,
enslave us for years, and then like,
and then just book it, just leave.
Just like the fucking audacity of that is just so wild.
Mad respect.
Yeah, he just got divorced too, right?
You think this is like a divorce?
Was it just?
I feel like, oh, maybe not just.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm thinking of Bill Gates.
They're all the same person to me.
Yeah, the billionaire.
Bill Gates isn't isn't Jeff Bezos.
Let's just clear that up.
Bill Gates, it turns out as a fucking weirdo.
He's a bit weird, but he's not like a monster.
Bezos is like just not a good guy straight up.
Bill Gates is like debatable.
Like, he's done some good and he's done some kind of fucking.
I would argue, I would argue they're probably not all that different in, in personality as far as far as like how good of an individual person they are.
But I would say probably Bill Gates contributed more.
positively to the great to society in general, I would say.
I mean, he helped fund the vaccines, like a lot of the money for the vaccines in general.
Did he?
Yeah, but there was also like, yeah, there was also some shit, though, about like patents and stuff that seemed kind of shady.
Was that him, though, directly?
Or was that the CDC?
Well, he's a part of it.
Like, since he's part of the funding, it's like, you'd feel like, hey, if you want this thing to disappear quicker,
release the patent so people like like countries like India can fucking actually get the
vaccine.
Yeah, I think I think he was, I think he was saying stuff like.
Was it him?
Was it him about a patent?
I think it was.
I think it was him saying like, oh, I think he said something specifically like, oh, we don't
want to share the patents or something.
Yeah, there was a reason.
I forgot.
I don't know what his reason was, but he was a part of like, you know, but obviously the
reason is the bottom fucking dollar like at the end of the day.
Like making sure you're making billions upon billions of dollars.
you know and staying because that's that's how billioners you know get yeah he's about to lose half
of it so I know but yeah isn't he like he's like homies with like Epstein and shit that's like the whole
reason why she was like I'm out of here no that was too that's too recent for that to have been for
that do you think well no well that's one of the things that came out that she was like it was it was
it was one of the I think that I guess that started the everything unraveling I'm assuming
Because that was like one of the big things that people kept discussing that he was way more chill with Epstein than he was leading on, I guess.
And it, which is weird.
But I mean, it's kind of weird that, I mean, it's not weird, right?
The richer you are, the more stuff and get away with.
Because there's way too many people on like the black books and all this stuff and all these flights that I'm like, we couldn't get away with this shit.
If I was on that flight one time, I would never hear the end of it.
Oh, yeah, no.
Oh, my grandma would know.
People, people still...
Like, what?
Dude, people give YouTuber shit for things that are like maybe like 1% as bad for like as for just as long.
Like, I'm sure like...
I'm going to say this, but I'm going to beep it out just because I don't feel like fueling it anymore.
But dude, like, fucking how many, how many years later and people still talk about fucking candid every now and again?
That fucking app?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a message from a YouTuber.
And I basically was just like, I'm going to say my piece on what I think that is, which is just nothing.
I was just like, oh, this is the fallout or whatever you want to call it was infinitely more interesting than what happened.
Because nothing happened essentially.
It's one of the dumb.
It's on the same level of that fucking.
YouTuber, what's his name?
John Swan that he got caught lying about
Dream, the other YouTuber, about some
bullshit. It was the dumbish fucking drama
that it was, I was like, I can't believe people are talking about
this because, like, I understand
that there was, it was to talk, oh, he got caught lying about some shit that he,
who cares, why did he even lie in the first place? Like, I'm not to get into all of it.
Somebody got caught lying about something that nobody,
the whole dream thing, like, but it's just like,
they were involved, like that John Swan and Dream, they were all involved in some drama.
And it was the most mediocre milk toast thing.
And I was just like, I can't believe this is the thing that people are, or they act like being a hypocrite is, is on par with like murder or pedophilia or some shit.
Like that's basically how these people act.
It's so fucking weird.
It's so weird to me.
I'm like, oh.
It's just drama YouTube, you know, they got a milk, they got a milk shit as much as possible.
Well, drama's like, I don't have a problem with drama.
I'm like, it's like the only equivalent of trash TV.
But trash TV usually at least like it does things in a way.
It's good at manipulating people to make things seem like they actually matter.
Everything I see with like this kind of low grade YouTuber shit, it's not done well.
It's, it's I tune in and try to follow along and I'm like, oh, this is this is really stupid.
You can't even get me to care about this stuff.
Now, if we're talking about dream cheating, I think that's hilarious.
I think that's pretty good because he's so much of a bigger YouTuber.
What made the dream thing strange was just the fact that he didn't have to lie about it.
Like, no one was mad about it.
Like, if he just could have just told the truth.
That's what made it so weird.
He could have just told the truth and it would have been fine.
I don't even know why.
No one was crushing him about him not telling the truth.
I don't even know why he would even cheat in Minecraft.
He just kept lying about it.
He just kept lying about it.
Well, he's still technically lying about it.
He's still lying about it because he said,
oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
And I, that's one billion percent impossible to not realize.
Like, if you play a game that has R&G and you know the drop rates of stuff,
if you play a game that much, you know the drop rates.
It's like me playing raid fucking shadow legends,
where I know the drop rates of stuff on like shards and like pooling a legendary.
And if I,
we're like pulling them like like oh holy shit fucking every third or fourth of my fucking
shard pulls i'm getting the best shit when it's normally supposed to be less than a percent
of a chance i would know i would notice immediately yeah can't be like oh i did how do fuck
i just didn't fucking realize i'm like you he's still lying like it's such a he's a he's a
he's being an ass it's such well he just knows that most of his people uh with the people that
listen to him they're all fucking 12 year olds you know what's that's like you know what it's
I care so much about that.
What's astounding about dream is that this is a person whose name I've heard like a million
times only in the last like several months, right?
Never before that.
He never came up at all.
It was almost like he fucking sifted in here from like a fucking rift in time where he was like
a famous YouTuber in some other reality and he just like respawned here somehow.
I have never seen a dream video.
I don't know what he sounds like.
I don't know what his real Twitter account is.
I know fucking next to nothing about this fucking person.
All I know is that he cheated in Minecraft and that's it.
And that's probably the last thing I'll ever know about Dream as well
because I just don't give a shit about these people.
That is it.
That's what I was saying.
That was the original point with that John Swan guy and then that app,
all of that stuff where it's such low-tier drama.
but people are trying their best to blow it up to make it something that matters.
And my whole thing is, let's like trash TV, you know exactly what you're watching.
Now, make some good production and let's just have some fun with it.
But don't fucking pretend like it's earth shattering.
And that's what I guess what annoys me the most, where like the dream thing,
oh, he cheated in speed running in Minecraft.
I don't fucking care.
Even if I played Minecraft all the time,
I'd be like, oh, what a cunt.
And then that's, that's it.
It's the communities, man.
It's, it's his community.
The Minecraft community is really toxic.
So inherently, if somebody's saying he's cheated, there's a lot of people, there's a
community is really huge.
He obviously cheated.
There's going to be his fans who are most likely, like, 13-year-old boys and the easiest
to lie to young teenage girls.
And they're like, he didn't cheat.
That's so, that's so not true.
And then what happens is that they all go on Twitter and they type about it, and they
just get really loud and annoying, because that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
what it always is it's usually never like a like there are toxic like creators obviously you know
know but most of the time the worst part is their fan bases because then they breed these really
horrible fan bases that the ones that take shit over the fucking moon and just make it the worst
and dream fan base is Minecraft which happens to be very
very gonna say but you know they tend to be of a certain group of certain unfortunate disability
or different mental function
and they get loud.
In fairness,
Minecraft is like the most popular game
on the planet.
So like,
yeah,
the,
you know,
the percentage of people
who play Minecraft,
even if like one percent of them
are like sociopathic lunatics,
that's like a lot of people,
even if it is like a small percent.
You know,
it's just,
that's just how numbers work.
You're not going to be able to fucking,
you know,
you can't.
Lately,
car buying has become,
a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of
Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these
parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon.
Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.
eBay. Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan.
Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded
years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get
bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes
on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an
accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.
Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
Really get away from that. But that's really everything that I can think of. Was there anything
that we forgot? Was there anything that we forgot news-wise? We were going to talk about something else?
I feel like we were going to talk about something else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's, um, I'm sure some people, I just thought this was kind of funny.
It was, uh, I don't know if I'm pronouncing her name right, but Nico, lo, or Nick, what is it?
Right, right, Nico Loll.
Nicol, okay.
Uh, so if, if you're not familiar with her name, she is the okay boomer girl.
You know, she blew up on Twitter where she's doing that little dance and she's wearing the Bernie Sanders shirt.
and there was actually some pretty good post
when that when the replies to that tweet
was pretty great like there was actually some boomers on there
that were saying some very interesting stuff
and one of them I actually
it was fantastic where the guy said
why don't you call me what you really want to call me
and then he says the N word like hard R
oh my God it was like where did this guy get this shit from
it's a man you can find it I love people
I love people trying to take that blight.
You know what you want to call me.
I'm just the precious to the group.
Other group.
You're calling me the N-word.
It's like, nah, bro.
It's not that.
You're old.
You're just an old person.
It was weird that he was there.
Nobody said, like, no one said that at all.
Wasn't it like a famous article?
I think I did a video on this.
Of like, there was some guy who was like,
boomer is the new N-WR.
Yeah.
Oh.
that guy must have read that article
because that's exactly what he was saying
that's basically what he was saying
he got charged bro
he read that and got charged up
yeah anyway
so
she's uh so niccolo
is known for being
like you know
pro
she's progressive you know
in democratic socialism and stuff like that
tax the rich you know she's a Bernie bro
or whatever
so she gained a huge
audience of people that are like oh fuck yeah i'm down for that shit and then in one of the
most tone deaf moves one of the most like worst read the room scenarios is she posts a video
on youtube that is a tour of her two million dollar apartment and the ratio the like to this
like ratio is just it's punishing and props to her for keeping the video up it's still up
and but it is punishing.
There is no way.
There's no way she thought this was going to happen.
But she should have known this because of,
and obviously it's not a huge deal.
Like you get a lot of money.
You want to buy nice things.
I fucking get it.
But if you paint yourself as somebody who's the taxed the rich person,
you'd want to do this stuff in your, in the privacy of, you know,
just don't put it online.
You wouldn't want to buy a $2 million.
apartment and then give a tour of it having a fucking refrigerator that is specifically only for
wine and having a closet that's pretty much as big as my fucking room you know what i mean like
yeah that's the type of shit that people that are progressive it was don't want to fucking see
it was definitely it was definitely like a tone deaf move i think at the same time
there is this weird kind of uh projected
double standard that I'm seeing where it's like
she she believes the rich should be taxed a lot
and yet she's rich but it's like
that's
that's possible
that's like that's not inherently hypocritical
like you could be like a billionaire and be like yeah I think I don't pay enough
in taxes I think I should be taxed like way the fuck more yeah
you know what I mean like you could make a ton of money
and still believe those things in principle
And like no one's no one who's actually like no serious person anyway and I'll say this because I'm like a super left leaning like Bernie dude right.
I don't think anybody is really suggesting nobody's allowed to be rich, you know.
It's just more of like there's a level of rich that becomes kind of inherently confusing and and debatably not all right.
Like if you have like if you have like if you're making like six billion dollars a month, you're.
You know, like at a certain point, it goes like, that's a bit, like, especially because you know that money's just sitting in the fucking Cayman Islands, not even fucking, you know what I mean?
Like that money is, that money is being quantified as American dollars, but it's not here and not being put back in it.
Yeah.
Of money, so it's fucking our country.
That's the kind of shit.
That's like problematic.
Right, right, right, right.
But that's what I'm saying.
It's like, it's not necessarily hypocritical just because like, hey, here's my $2 million apartment.
Also, I believe that rich people should be taxed.
It's not inherently counter.
Those two statements.
That's not counter.
I don't think that's the only thing she doesn't.
Right.
Okay, go ahead.
But at the same time, even somebody like me who is aware of that concept, I still wouldn't.
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.
It was well loved.
There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay.
but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track
as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamon.
Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts
and accessories. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's
largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said
$20 billion. $1.20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think,
somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder
and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an
accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.
Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit for the people.com for an office near you.
Post a fucking tour of my $2 million apartment.
I wouldn't do that.
Just based on the sheer, like, messaging, it's, you know what I mean?
Like, it's obviously like a bad look.
Like, even if it's not, like, actually hypocritical.
It's just, like, don't fucking...
You expect this behavior from people who, like, you would presumably very vehemently disagree with, generally speaking.
Right.
For instance, we live in a nice apartment in our...
our apartment and living a nice place.
I'm gonna go ahead and beep that out.
I don't know why you would say that.
You know, we don't live in like the best place.
We live in a nice area, right?
We don't do fucking house tours, you know, like that's not how you do that.
Also, who the fuck gets a $2 million apartment?
That's the first thing my brain went to.
I was just like, I showed Chris and I was like, Chris, she got a $2 million apartment.
Who the fuck would do that?
And you were like, I don't know that's stupid because it's dumb.
That's property right there.
So a million dollars you're buying some property.
property appreciating wealth. That's, that's it. I'd buy a building for $2 million.
It's a hard flex. It is a hard flex. It's just a flex and it's like that's stupid.
It's one of those things where it would be less egregious if she didn't even put the number in there.
If she just spent, hey, house apartment tour, people would be like, holy shit, she has a really nice apartment.
That's way less agreed than saying this was $2 million, bitch. You'll never be able to get something like this.
It's just one of those things. It's just that type of look.
When you express when you throw numbers into it.
It's like, ooh, oof.
Like, I would never do that.
Yeah.
Also, like, if I, I would never do that.
If I got a lot of money, I would buy.
I know people that comment on that video and make comments about the video, and then she blocked them.
Yeah.
Oh, for real?
Yeah, she unfollowed a lot of people.
She follows me still.
Jay Aubrey.
We'll see.
We'll see how long that lasts.
Well, we hopefully, you know, she'd probably at least in the fuck of snark tank.
Yeah.
I know.
It's not like I dislike her.
I just think it was a dumb, it was just a dumb idea.
Yeah, you know. It's just stupid. Like if I was, if I was homes with her, I'd be like, hey, uh, why?
It's a bad voice. I'd be like, hey, hey friend, why'd you do that? Uh, but honestly, like, I don't know, it probably is just like, it's like with anything on the internet. It's like, I'm going to do this. This isn't going to create some buzz. It might be negative, but it's buzz. Buzz is buzz. Like it's true. You know?
I haven't thought about her since that OK boomer shit happen.
So, because I don't, I'm being honest, I hate all that shit, that simpy TikTok shit.
I really don't, I don't like it at all.
I don't like any of the, the exaggerated fucking, just not acting like a real person.
The lip syncing and the dancing on TikTok.
All that shit.
And even like, I watched her video, even the tour of the apartment, the way that she acts, it just annoys me.
Because it's so, it's so inauthentic.
It's not like a whole real person would act.
Like, that's not how she acts in real life, obviously.
But she's not.
It's not like she's doing it to, for comedic.
It's just like, it's like, you know, sometimes there's certain hosts.
Even sometimes there would be like, a host for certain awards shows or gaming stuff.
Like, where they just, they're way to, they're hamming it up.
And I'm like, dude, just bring it down.
Bring it down.
Just be good.
Comedic timing's great.
I understand that.
If you're trying to ham it up for comedies,
purposes. But if you're just trying to be up your personality, it just seems, I'm like,
you just seem like the fakeest person on earth. And if you were like this around me, I would
just walk away from me. I wouldn't even say like, I wouldn't even say anything mean to you,
but I just would leave. Because I'd be like, you fuck this person. Let's just fake as bullshit.
Be real. That's it. Like, it's just, and that's anybody. It's nothing against her. It's just all
that TikTok shit. I just, uh, I'm covering the song from this, uh, what's her name?
Bella Porch
She had
She's a TikTok person
That does all that shit
I didn't even
I didn't really know when I when I was shown
I was just like
Oh whatever I erased
Blocked it out of my head memory
Then I heard this one song a couple of times
Called build a bitch and I'm like I'm gonna cover that
Because I'm trying to get some fucking clout
And it turns out as the same person
And I just they all seem the same to me
They all act the same
They do the TikTok dances
They do these exaggerated, like, you know, like their eyes and they're all, hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, fuck, this is for fucking, this is what you do to entertain three-year-olds.
I'm not even fucking joking.
That's how you act when the baby, you're like, ooh, hey, and you pouty and you, and then they're like, hey, this is so great.
But they're doing it and like, simps are loving it.
And I'm like, you're fucked, dude.
It is very scary.
You have mommy issues.
They want to be babies.
Yeah.
But there's the very premise of just lip syncing.
Even this was a problem like five years ago when TikTok was musically and everybody hated it.
And then they rebranded and suddenly everybody likes it again.
Right.
Like lip syncing is quite possibly the lowest form of entertainment that anybody could possibly indulgent.
I don't
I sincerely do not understand
how a human being
I mean it
I'm sorry if you're a friend of mine
and you love that shit
I would never tell you this to your face
but I believe it
okay
you know
because I know everybody's had a hard year
everybody's had a hard year
I don't want to make anybody feel bad
especially when they're in the room with me
that's uncomfortable
but real talk
actually finding that stuff engaging
is fucking embarrassing
it is it's like the fucking
James Corden like oh carpal
karaoke and they're just like sitting there
lip singing it's like what is the
what is the entertainment value
in seeing like oh hey
here's a woman singing a rap song
or like oh hey
here's a fucking here's a
portly fellow singing a woman's song
but they're not really singing
it's just they're making it seem like they are
it's like I don't
get it
that's stuff you do in like the shower
Like, would you watch some fucking James Corden washing his nutsack on fucking cable television?
Would that be interesting?
Like, I...
Some people would.
Some people would because they're fucking broken.
Some people are fucking damaged.
It's a bad example.
There are plenty of perverts who would absolutely watch that.
Yeah, if he had nudity in there, come on.
Yeah, everyone.
I'll check that out.
You know, I got to see what that's all about.
But I just, I don't know, I just, there's no...
I don't want to say there's no talent in there.
there because there are definitely people who like like I think of like drunk history or something where
it's like that's kind of lip sync base but it's also like there's more to it than that it's like
it's a whole fucking production that they got going on at drunk history so like yeah I understand
the value in somebody being kind of good at that but it's not good enough to just by itself
like support like the entertainment value of an entire program it's just not I fucking I hate this
shit and dancing is also just I don't know when I don't know when we collectively as a culture
decided that dancing was a punchline.
Like, I don't know when that happened.
Like, it must have been, I definitely, obviously,
post 9-11, but exactly when, I don't know,
exactly what year did it become like,
oh, look, he, like, dances well, and that's funny.
When did that happen?
I don't know.
I don't even, I don't acknowledge it.
I don't even know.
You don't know, you've never seen, like, viral.
dances and that's all the content is and it's just like oh isn't this funny and I'm like
bro what?
Yeah, I love I love dance.
It's nothing to me when I see when I see somebody do something like that like it was
supposed to be like exactly what you're talking about like almost like a TikTok pretty much
where there's people doing dances and it's like they're doing it to songs and they're
sinking it and shit and I'm like I I don't even register it at his thing I'm to the next
thing.
Yeah.
It's not even enough for me to elicit a response.
I'm like, this is so stupid.
I'm just like, my brain doesn't understand it.
It's not even content.
It's disrespectful.
It's like dancing is so fucking such an art form.
And people do shit like that.
I'm just, you're less.
You're less than what you're supposed to be.
You're a failure.
Yeah.
You're failing.
Yeah, dude.
I actually, for a while when there was like a bunch of dance shows,
they were like, I was like really impressed with some of the.
people that I was like, holy shit, it's crazy what the human body can do.
It's some, some, uh, remember those fucking weirdos, the Jabberwockys?
Remember those guys?
They wear masks and shit.
Yeah.
Like that shit was like, okay.
Yeah, that, like, when I see that shit, I'm like, that's what I see like, what dancing is.
I'm like, oh, wow, these people are fucking incredible.
Like, this would take, I don't have enough patience to ever do this, ever.
I would never do this.
And so, but yeah, as far as any, seeing like some fucking.
I don't know, some white chick with no ass, like fucking shaking nothing.
And to some, I'm like, what's happening?
I don't know what's happening.
I have never seen.
I have never seen dance.
I have never seen a dance that I was thoroughly or even remotely impressed by.
I don't think I've ever appreciated even a modicum of dance at all.
Like I just, I really don't.
Like, I remember, like, I remember seeing videos of like Michael Jackson.
People like, isn't this crazy?
I was like, no.
it's the person moving around
like I don't do so like I just don't like
I don't get it
person moving around that's like
this is not the equipment
of doing that
yeah
I'm not even I'm not even exaggerate
listen I'm not exaggerating
for the purpose of the podcast
I really mean this
I just don't see
that's so wild
I don't see it's
I feel like that's
that's
I feel like that can't be true
only because of there's certain things
like seeing a fucking human do like multiple black
backflips like say gymnastics
which is like almost like a form of dancing essentially
where you're like and you can't be like wow
that's really impressive because I could never do that a million years
well
you grew up in New York City bro
you go to Manhattan all the time and there are so many
unbelievable street performers in Manhattan
that you're just going to see eventually
and you're never like oh that's pretty
impressive.
I mean, I've seen it my whole life.
It's just like, it's just like, okay, yeah.
But you're still not like that's impressive nonetheless.
I've seen hundreds of people move like really impressively.
So it's like, to me, it's just always like, oh, uh, anybody could do that if they just
tried to do it, you know, if they really dedicated themselves to doing it.
Obviously you have to have the right, like, obviously you can't.
Obviously, young Crip isn't going to go breakdancing.
But like, you know, like, you know, like, he might.
He might break dance.
I mean, we'll see
Maybe Ricky Burwick could
Could break dance
But I don't know, like
Oh my God
I just
Well, then what's impressive to you, Chris?
I mean, gymnastics is impressive
Because that's like, you know, that's
But it's this, your body's moving in a way
That is fucking really impressive
It's the same concept
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's far different
Because I know
No, no, no, no, you know how I know
Here's you know how I know
Because I took, what is it?
I have seen, there's no risk in dance, really.
You just, the biggest risk you got is that you look kind of dumb if you do it wrong.
Gymnastics, I've seen people, I've seen people look like dogs afterwards.
They've got their knees bending backwards.
They're suddenly, they're arbiters after a while.
And it's like, okay, that's a big deal.
Not in the same fucking way that like a gymnast is.
dancing too, but you can definitely hear yourself of a dancing.
Yeah, yeah, you get a paper cut opening a Pop-Tart.
Dude, fucking, go talk to ballet dancers.
Dude, ballet dancers would heavily disagree with you.
Oh, that's a whole, that's a whole barbaric practice.
Literally one of the most fucking dancing.
One of the most rudimentary things ever.
It's dancing.
That's classical dancing, actually, because most dancers learn ballet first, actually.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just, I don't find it all that.
Like those, those dance, they don't.
Mucho.
I don't know.
Like, to me, it's just like, I've seen a lot of dance.
I've watched those dance shows, and I just, it's just like, I don't know.
It's, they rehearse this.
It's cool.
Like, I get it.
But at no point is anybody, like, to me, like, flipping a million times around a pole
and, like, flipping up in the air and landing directly, like, completely straight,
that is infinitely more impressive than, like, somebody, like, moonwalking.
Like it's just I don't think they're even close to the same amount of like physical strength.
You're fucking talking about like one of the most difficult things to do at the highest level versus a basic dance move.
You're not even putting them on the same thing about dance move like say get to the ballet which is one of the hardest things like the the flea, whatever the I don't know any of those fucking I don't know what that's called.
But the shit that they do and when they're fucking like flying in there or like say all that crazy shit or say like a B-boy spinning on his.
fucking head for like a minute.
You know what I mean?
Like when you get to the highest levels of dance,
and I feel like you need to,
you need to put them against,
like you're fucking putting like the fly weights
versus the heavy weights, man.
Like it doesn't work.
It doesn't fucking work like that.
I think you would be very impressed with dance
at the highest levels,
but I guess for like the moonwalk,
you're like, oh, he's pretending to walk backwards.
I can understand how some people would be like,
I can do that if I put my mind to it.
But try spinning on your head, right?
and do a shuffle to a fucking windmill
and spin on your head
and tell me like
oh I can do that if I fucking like come on dude
like that shit's up of a one arm afterwards
it's like what the hell
it just jack off like pull your pants down
and jack off hard to you too
it's I don't know to me
to me it just seems like
of the things you could do
in a physical way of expression
that seems to be like
the most pick upable thing
Like I really do think anybody could learn how to dance
Whereas like I feel like things like
Even things like skating to me
Like I part of me can't even conceptualize how people are able to like
Fuck it like even just the basic premise of like
Oh they're in the air and the board remains stuck to their feet
Even though they're in the middle of the air and like
It's not actually stuck to it's like what the fuck is that
That is like wizardry to me I don't understand how that shit works
But like a dance move regardless of the level of complexity
I just know that a person can do that if they just wanted to do it.
You just have like a weird cognitive dissonance about dancing.
I mean probably.
I mean, I would imagine.
Like dancing and gymnastics eventually like at the higher, like once you get into like
B-boy dancing and like freestyle and a hip-hop dancing, it becomes pretty gymnastic by nature.
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.
It was well loved.
There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay,
but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod.
Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.
eBay. Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit for the people.com for an office near you.
I don't know.
But it's just gymnastics with, like, you have to have rhythm also to be able to do it.
I've just, I've just seen too much.
Even, even, like, even this, you know, boxers and, like, a lot of professional athletes.
I just, I don't see.
Like, I can't do that.
it, but like, I don't know.
Once you've seen a plane flying to the Twin Towers,
suddenly everything's less impressive.
Oh, my God.
Hark gets back to 9-11 again, everything.
Let's move.
Let's move.
And 9-11, Chris became self-aware and everything changed.
He realized he was a human boy in a feeding mortal shell.
Hey, man, you grow up pretty fast.
All right, let's move on to some questions by our beautiful friends over at patreon.com
slash the snark tank.
We got a lot of, uh, we got some first timers here today too.
But, uh, we'll get to that when we, uh, when we get to it.
Connor King wrote and he says, Chris Sween and Arbiter of all opinions.
Chris, you often sing the praises of grappling hooks, but I never hear you discuss my very first
grappling hook video game experience, Lost Planet.
Have any of you three had the opportunity to play this game?
If not, I thought you ought to give it a shot.
If so, why, why did it say?
like nobody talk about it.
I mean, it's an old game, Connor.
Like, it's not like...
It was one of the first Xbox games.
It was one of the first 360 games.
Yeah, that was the first
proper 360 game that I played
online.
I remember that
because, like, Halo 3 wasn't out yet
and they had a multiplayer demo
that you could download on 360
and you could just, like, play online for free.
And that did have grappling hooks, you're right.
It was fucking awesome.
I remember I thought the snow in that game
looked fucking incredible also.
But it probably doesn't look all that impressive now.
Not anymore.
Yeah, definitely not.
But I don't know.
I liked Lost Planet.
It didn't set the world on fire or anything.
Like, I don't know if I'm nostalgic enough about it to, like, if they put it out again,
I don't know if I would be like, oh, yeah, I got to jump into, you know, I really got to relive
those Lost Planet glory days.
Like, I don't know if it's that kind of a video game.
But I have fond associations with it more than.
more than I remember it as like a game that I loved, you know?
It's just kind of one of those middle market kind of, not too shabby kind of deals.
That was a Capcom game, right?
Yeah.
Is that Capcom?
I think it was.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
Let me look this up.
Yeah, it definitely was.
That sounds right.
It definitely was.
I think it was Capcom.
Yeah, yeah, Capcom.
Valve.
It looked like a Valve game.
Kenji Inafune.
Yeah, it's a fuck.
that's crazy but yeah
lost plan it was cool
I like the second one actually a lot
I never played the third one
I never played the third one I just saw the third one
glitches
there's like there's a really good glitch or
there's like a sequence where
everyone's like shooting each other with lasers and shit
but like the main guy only
his his top torso was gone
so his legs
doing the entire sequence it's fucking great
it's probably pretty easy to find
it's one of the most egregious
fucking glitches of last planet three
or it's really good
it's really good
yeah that was
I don't even know there was a third one
I don't know there was a second one
that series is like
synonymous to me with like that period of time
where there was just like a new video game
like all the time about like
even Sony was like putting out
just random shit like it was like here's Hayes
here's PlayStation All Stars
Battle Royale here's fucking
uh
mod nation racers
and it was just like what the fuck is what is what is all this
why are you making so much
fucking weird nonsense
But yeah, damn, Modnation, I remember that.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I think that became something else.
But I think a little big planet carding or something.
There was like some cart racer for a little big planet that didn't do too well.
But yeah, no, we've, I think I've talked about Lost Planet before.
Probably not on the Star Tank, though.
So fair enough.
Jacques 552 goes, he writes and he says,
Hi there.
you humorous bags of meat
out of all the fictional characters
you can think of which ones have the greatest
drip. Stay safe
and stay sane fellas
The greatest drip.
Yeah I love that question
Out of the fictional characters.
There's definitely Master Chiefs up there.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I have a fucking Luli.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dude, he has fucking armor on.
He looks insanely awesome.
Get the fucking awesome.
We're talking about drift, drip in
the fucking world as we live in, dude.
You know exactly what drip is.
Yeah, I'm thinking like Dante.
Virgil from my, Virgil.
Yeah, I was thinking Virgil.
Virgil from, uh, from, uh, what?
Bro.
Dude, Virgil is fucking, like, is like Lord Byron shit, dude.
That's not drip.
You're not fucking, you don't, you know what drip is, bitch is, bitch.
Virgil from Denver May Cry 5.
Virgil from Denver May Cry looks flying in a bitch, bro.
He's fucking, that's not, dude.
That's like, that's like saying Prince fucking Charles or whatever, it has drip.
that's what that's that's that's not fucking drip
Virgil looks sick
Virgil dresses like he's fucking royalty
That's not drip dude
Bro
Virgil looks sick as
Now he's dressed like a full metal alchemist
Like one of those officers
Like that's not
He looks drip
Woo on a bitch
Dantay looks way cooler
Dante is definitely more on the drip level
Right
I don't I don't think
He's got a lot of swagger
Come on man
I think they're both people
I wouldn't get one of the other
No man he's got that red
He's got that red jacket, like the, like the casual, like a half button down.
Virgil.
Virgil has that blue fucking open coat with the fucking katana with the golden red.
The katana is so anti-drip too, man.
That's so like fucking traditional and discipline.
Dude, no.
If any, go ask any, okay, if go ask any hood nigger, all right?
Okay, here we go.
If they had her choice to wield a sword, do you think any of them would be, oh, I want the katana dog?
No, they'd want some fucking big-ass fucking.
You know what is what is what?
They would take Katana because web culture and black culture are so synonymous
each other now that I know people would say Katana.
I, 100% of me like a berserk.
They'd want a berserk fucking or a cloud strife shit, dude.
They wouldn't want that little bitch-ass fucking.
They wouldn't know that you would want a Katana because you're like, oh, we watch
Demon Slayer.
They're like, oh, we watch demons slayer.
They don't watch.
They don't watch.
They don't watch demons slayer.
They do, bro.
12-year-old white girls and you watch Demon Slayer.
Derek.
That's it.
Derek.
That's it.
That's it.
That's the Democratic.
I have, Derek, Derek, Derek, I have a young nephew who is a nigger.
He is a New York City.
And I'm embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed for you.
Tim wearing nigger.
He wears Timsy plays basketball.
He shoots dice.
He is a nigger.
And all his homies, all his homies, all his homies and everybody in the school went to see the demon slayer movie, bro.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm not even lying.
Our kids actually still shooting dice.
Are they doing some C-lower and shit?
No.
That's the hood.
That's the hood, bro.
That's just the nature of the hood.
I thought that shit was over, dude.
Nah.
I don't think, bro.
You think it's over.
I don't think dice.
Oh, my God.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I will say, I believe Sweeney about the dice.
Because a friend of ours lives in an area that is not ideal.
And I have walked through there many.
a time and people are out on the street. I don't know if it's
dice, but I've seen people
not
not, it wouldn't be
absurd to assume they're around my age
playing jacks
in the street.
Damn, they're going backwards, man.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy. I remember I saw that
it was, it was like seeing a
fucking pterodactal, like just
roaming this, it was like how the fuck is that
still around?
But yeah, that is, that is
real. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be surprised
to see dice. We grew out of it. We evolved past it. We got older. We were like, all right, cool.
We also left no more. Very true. We also left the hoods. We're all like, we don't do dice no one.
That's some old shit. I don't got money to throw away like that. But they still do shit like that. Closest I have is I got I got dominoes.
I haven't played him yet. Damn, that's some hood shit. I haven't played. I haven't played with him yet.
That's some Puerto Rican people's shit, bro. I learned how to play dominoes. One, I learned how to play spades and dominoes in the same night.
I never learned that.
You know how to play spades?
Nah, I never learned it.
You don't play Remy?
What was the, I, I'm aware, but I don't really, you know what I mean?
I stay away from a lot of gambling.
The only gambling that we did is kids and our school tried to ban it.
I don't even remember if I had a name, but you would, you would crease the opposite corners of your dollars, and then you would flip them.
And so basically, and you would call the side you want, the hedge or tails, and whoever got it.
you keep the, you keep, we would basically,
it was basically like playing, uh, what, like war,
I declare war, whatever.
Yeah, yeah,
has the biggest number takes the pile.
We, yeah, we were all gambling and then they,
they started banning that shit because I guess it was,
we're going to be morally corrupt.
I was like,
dude, shut the fuck up.
Kids want to make a couple extra dollars.
They stopped playing dodgeball in my fucking school because we were,
we were gambling on the games.
Really?
That's why they stopped for you guys?
Well, that's,
that's, that's the assumption.
because like until we were like we we were doing it regularly and we got like really comfortable with it and then we started not hiding it and then suspiciously it stopped being played but uh stopped them i said somebody got people got hurt people got hurt often in dodgeball can i say something regular what's uh i have never seen a single person get hurt in dodgeball like actually for real i've seen people get hurt very often i've seen i've seen a um a not a full blown broken nose but like a bloody nose i've seen that shit yeah yeah like somebody just throwing the
fucking really hard at somebody's face.
I've seen that a lot.
It's fucking weird to me that they were just like, hey,
because when I was a kid,
they were like,
dodgeball's so violent.
We can't let that happen.
Meanwhile,
we got like a football team
and kids are like fucking concussing
their brains.
I always hated that fucking bullshit.
It was because for our school,
we would always gang up on the more portly kids.
Because like,
you pick your teams.
Well,
here's,
well,
hold on.
Let me,
the real reason why they got rid of Dodgeball
is because there's no professional dodgeball
where you could make money.
Really what it was,
it was just like,
hey, football is way more dangerous, but there's a path to success with football, whereas
like if you're just getting hurt slightly a little bit every day from dodgeball, it's not going
to help you all that much.
So we're just going to stop doing dodgeball.
I mean, the thing is that we didn't play in high school, like in gym time, you weren't
playing proper football.
No, you weren't playing like straight up regular football.
But there's a team is what I'm saying.
There's a team.
But for us it would be like, you'd pick the teams.
It'd be two people, right?
you picked the teams it'd be okay every kid that plays a sport would be on the team right so it'd be
oh kingston you play basketball you're on my team i was always like one of the top four picks every time
in dodgeball was never like one of the later picks i was good at the game and i knew how to play and then
it'd be like a girl and like a chunky kid last and somebody would always pick the girl
you'd be like yeah the girl got picked and it'd be that big kid that would be bombarded in the
beginning like we'd like all right go we'd all run for the balls the team with the most athletes
usually gets most of the balls, and it'd be that one kid that just gets hit with three balls immediately.
And you're like, dang, this is not cool.
He's fishing a barrel. He's fishing a fucking barrel, man.
Like, he can't move.
I'm throwing dynamite in that barrel, bro.
Like, I'm trying to kill him.
Yo, I was always perplexed by some of the, because there was the complete contrast.
There was all these big dudes.
Some of them had muscle, so they were fastest shit.
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part, is a lot of,
a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was
well loved. There are plenty of Cayman's in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes,
suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped
Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go daily driver.
Your next Restamod.
Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.
eBay. Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest
injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion
one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north,
probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone
get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is
dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is
always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan,
America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Because their muscles can carry their weight.
And then there was the doughy motherfuckers that were slow, like, they were so slow. I didn't
understand how is your body, like, it's not possible for you to, you must be. You must be.
be able to move faster. Like humanly, you must be able to like get up to at least five miles an hour.
What are you doing? It didn't, like, it would get me mad because I feel like you're not trying to
move because you must be able to move quicker. Like it was the weirdest shit. And then we had some of
those motherfuckers on our football team that weren't even benching 100 pounds. And we were like 16, 17.
And I'm like, dude, this is, that doesn't make sense. Like your body's carrying like all 300 pounds of
you, you should be able to at least lift 100 pounds.
What happens?
You unlock that, though.
You unlock that.
Because what happens is when you play sports, stuff like that, you eventually, like, how'd I
explain it?
Like, right now, I can't spring the way I used to when I was younger.
But when I was, eventually you learn, like, how to actually jump or how to properly
propel yourself and run or, like, because a lot of people I knew they couldn't, they
couldn't run and look behind them and catch a football.
Like, people couldn't do that.
Some people just couldn't do that around me.
And eventually, you pick that up as you, like, you keep running around and you
stay active, you learn how to you, like,
really use your body to do something.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like the big doughy people in Dodge Bowl,
where they were just like,
they wouldn't dodge,
but they'd be like fucking ace at catching,
because they had to.
They could, yeah,
they just double fist them,
and I'm like, yo, I can't do that.
I could never catch him.
Like, if I was gonna,
if a ball was coming at me,
I was done.
If, if I couldn't move.
Like it was,
but I was fucking slippery,
dude, and I was small.
I was always the last person,
but because I couldn't,
I also couldn't throw very hard, so I was always like I would just outlast everybody until they got tired.
Fatigue.
I just feel like there was like an explosiveness that was missing.
That like that like I and I and I theorize why like say a lot of black folks develop the explosive is early is to evade getting your ass beat by your parents.
Hispanic people too.
I specifically Hispanic people.
Yeah, brown people in general.
There was I specifically and I might have even told this story before where I don't.
remember what I did, but I climbed up on my bunk bed and my mom was waiting for me to get down.
She was just going to whip my ass. And then so I was like, I'm not coming down, obviously.
And she wasn't going to come up there. So eventually she went away. But I knew she was waiting for me.
She wasn't, she didn't completely retreat. And I was like, I got one shot. And I fucking jumped down and ran as fast as I could.
Open the door. She was right behind me. Almost got me. And then I went out the back and I fucking didn't come back a few hours later.
And I'm like, that's the type of shit that got me really good.
at like jukeing and just my agility
where it's like I have to go or I'm
her fucking leather belt she was ruthless
man she was ruthless
she would beat you till she broke the skin
and then she would fucking place
some Jedi mind tricks to be like
you know I love you
yeah like that type of bullshit and I'm like this
is so fucked up
it's so mean
my agility is garbage now
it used to be so high
I used to be able to fucking
I used to be able to juke and like
I used to be able to jump so high
and now it's gone
just gone
you don't use it
if we use it it it would be different
if we use it it'd be different because like
we're not even out of our primes yet we're like
not even past like 35 like I'm 27
I'm just being near my physical prime
like in strength wise
yeah and I'm just fat now like I don't do shit
like I go to the gym again and like every time I go to gym
I feel like I'm gonna die afterwards
opposed to when I was younger I could go play basketball for like
six hours and come back home and still
be awake until like 12 playing video games
now if I go to basketball for like 30
I'm going to come back home and die.
You're in, you should.
Well, I don't know.
You just got to build that stamina again.
Yeah, you just got to do it again.
But I think we've reached a reasonable conclusion here that Virgil does not have drip.
Oh, my God, that's where we started.
Virgil does.
Yes, he does.
Eddie Gordo.
Eddie Gordo.
That's my pick.
Does Bayonetta have drip?
Would you describe bayonetta is like being?
She's like Virgil though.
That's a complicated one.
well because she's got hair
I think her clothes
are pretty fucking dope though
I think I think like
they're not like
she doesn't look like some fucking
she's going to a ball
you know what I mean
that's her does sort of though
that's what I'm
who else has drip
who else looks badass
I think Geryl
who is Friesing
Who
Geryl
yeah
I mean
if he was
if Geryl
was born in today, I agree.
He would have like, he would have like the best shoes
and the best watches and shit.
And I agree. I agree with that.
He would have like, he'd be pretty well dressed.
What about, uh, this is kind of cheating.
Because you can choose to dress him however you want.
But Agent 47.
From him in?
Yeah, sometimes he's got that like red tucks or whatever
that's like fucking obnoxious.
I mean, he looks pretty, he looks,
hmm, that's, that's actually
because I don't, I think he's, to be honest,
I think because of his background and how he grew up,
I think he, he would,
people would think he's like, on the spectrum,
to be honest.
Oh my God.
Because he's so, like, he's,
he grew up so fucked up and so isolated,
people would just assume.
Like, I don't think like he has the capability.
You're probably right.
good at blending in like a sociopath because his job.
But like,
I don't think he just on a normal day if we're hanging out with Agent 47,
it would be the most awkward shit ever.
You're probably,
that's probably an accurate statement.
He's probably on the spectrum.
But I mean,
come on.
How can you have no chance if you grew up with some assassination?
Like,
it's like fucking Master Chief.
Like,
the way he grew up.
Yeah.
You don't have a chance.
You don't have a chance to be like,
He's not a social person.
Yeah.
Oh, oh my God, Donkey Kong.
Let's move on.
DK, he got the fucking tie on, bro.
He's got a tie on that says DK, bro.
That's kind of fire.
Funky Kong, if we're going to go there.
Funky Kong's the one that's got drip.
Thank you.
Funky got drip.
Funky got drip.
You right.
You right about that.
Let's move on.
God help us.
Hey, go wrote in.
He says,
Hey, guys, long-time listener and supporter, and loving the show so far.
I like how he says so far is if there's like a narrative here that it's going to like eventually get better.
Just for just a random general question for you all out there, what are your thoughts on cryptocurrencies?
Elon has been hyping them up recently and I just wanted to, wanted your guys take on it.
Again, happy you're all keeping the show going despite knowing I'm trying to keep my sanity intact with all this shit that's going on.
peace. So that was Haco.
Honestly, I don't know shit about cryptocurrencies.
I just invest in the ones that like my friends who are too, who are super nerdy about it,
tell me. And they're usually pretty on point, you know.
I, I, I live and die by their advice.
But I have no idea what a Bitcoin is.
I don't understand how. Like, I know it needs a lot of computers and I know it's
apparently environmentally unfriendly. And I know like, you know,
it's a bunch of like ones and zeros that get kept in a blockchain and a blockchain is something
that I'm only vaguely familiar with as a concept.
You know enough.
You know enough.
Enough to understand the terminology, but not enough to understand how any of it really relates
or like where it's going.
Yeah, it's kind of like knowing like, yeah, I know that jerky is dehydrated meat,
but I wouldn't even know like how do you even do.
How do you do that?
You know, like, I don't know how to dehydrate a meat.
You know, I don't know the first thing about that.
So to me, it's just this alien thing that I occasionally dabble in when I feel confident.
That doge coin shit was hilarious.
I, because I fucking, I knew it.
I knew like he was going to be on Saturday Night Live, and I'm like, oh, he, every time Elon Musk does something publicly,
his stocks and anything that he's
attracted, anything that he's remotely attached to,
fucking plummets.
So I was like, all right,
I'm going to wait the last possible second
before Saturday Night Live starts
and I'm going to sell my doge.
I was like the exact right time to do it.
I was fucking laughing my ass off.
But, uh,
I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing, though,
at the same time.
You don't really need to.
That's the whole, that's the beauty of stocks.
Like, since cryptocurrency is being traded
and it is you know it's that's that's really all you need to know it's people that are usually a lot smarter than you give you good advice and then just you know the basic thing don't fucking don't invest what you uh which well what is the what's the quote basically don't invest what you wouldn't be comfortable losing thank you yeah so that's it's as simple as that where i'm like oh i'm gonna just throw a little bit into this doge and i'll make a little bit of money and that's all i've been doing i you know made a like a little bit of change with a bitcoin something
like that. Just making a little bit, I've never
thrown in enough to where I would have been
mad either way if I'm like, oh, because it's
whatever. But yeah, but it's been all
it's been all pluses.
Because I'm not throwing in that much money.
So it's pretty easy to just see
little trends. You see something's
happening like, oh, let me just get this real quick.
And that's what a lot of these fucking, yeah, you just got to
be a little diligent and, you know, the more
volatility, you just got to be like, okay, I'm going to have to just hopefully I can buy a dip,
and then I can sell you.
Like, it's just like, just pay attention a little bit.
But as far as it, like, say, cryptocurrency being like the currency of the future, I don't know what, because like at a certain point, like, I don't know what governments are going to do.
Yeah.
And what, so.
It's not going to last.
I don't think it's going to last, like, particularly long.
I think it'll last a while.
That's potential.
That's potential.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I do think it's going to last a while
Only because I feel like, dude, the government barely understands like the internet
And that's been around for like
Fucking how long has it been
Cryptocurrencies are like fairly new
It's been like within the last like I think 10 years really
They've really started to become a thing
Which means government is probably going to be even further behind on that
And they already are on the very fucking mechanism
That allows it to function in the first place
But because there's so much money there
I feel like they have more of an incentive
to kind of like figure that shit out before anything else
Like a government official doesn't really have
There's no benefit really for them to understand TikTok
In any real way other than like
Understanding kids I guess
But you know
If you're a corrupt politician you should definitely know about
Ways that people are going to make money
That are completely untraceable
So we'll see
I would give it maybe the next
sometime in the next 10 years to the later half,
I would imagine you're going to see some serious regulation on that shit.
But I think it's interesting.
I just, you know, I wouldn't call myself like an enthusiast of it
or somebody who's particularly knowledgeable on it, though.
What is this? What is this? What is this?
Dank magician of chaos, road.
And he says, hello, moral compass, immoral compass, and chaos incarnate.
Second time asking this one, well, it's the first time on the show, then.
my first daughter is expected in two months.
Whoa.
Hey, oh.
Yeah, man, congrats.
And I figured who better to give life advice than the man I'd be worried if I myself was left in charge of.
So my question is, what advice do you wish someone gave your parents before raising you?
Ooh, that's real specific.
Oh, shit.
What advice.
Use your words instead of your hands sometimes, you know?
Just like, yeah.
Use your words.
Sometimes, like words work.
Like words work too.
A kid can be reasoned with.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
Like, you got to, you got to understand that like, it's, it's a, it's a generational thing, you know.
Like, our parents got the rod.
So they thought, well, when I did this to discipline me, my parents used to, used to give me, you know, give me a beating.
And it would work.
What happens is that instills bad habits in the family and it goes down.
It just goes down the chain.
And you can, you can notice it.
You notice it in people's families that like, oh, this guy that's really violent is always threatening to fuck somebody up.
I wonder if his dad's similar to that.
And you can find out his dad or his mom or something like that.
But sometimes all you got to do is understand that like just we may not be as smart as you as kids, but we can still very easily be spoken to.
We can understand things.
Yeah.
Like I like here's a good example.
My neighbors that moved in recently, like maybe six months ago, uh, white is shit.
It's weird that there's like a bunch of white people moving in the hood right now.
So I keep seeing them.
I'm like, oh, shit, it's happening.
But anyway, they're very chill.
And the dad, like, the kid was in the car.
I get in my windows open, I can hear him.
And he's like, Colton or whatever, like, you, I need you to get out of the car.
You know, I'm going to count to three.
And then he's like, one, two, he's like, you want me to count to three?
You want me to hit three?
Like, you're going to be on timeout.
And then the kid gets out of the car.
And I was like, what?
the fuck instead of just getting smacked in the fucking face
get out of the fucking car you know what I'm saying it was like yeah
yeah that's that's wild I'm like that that can be done you know what I mean
yeah that's like a magic trick but uh yeah I don't know I think I would say
uh aside from like obvious things like hey invest in Apple um I would say like you know
probably like college will not be as important in a couple decades as it currently is.
And maybe it's not even that before.
I know.
But like what I'm saying.
I think condense that to fuck college, homie.
Well, what I'm saying is like, I think kids can be a lot wiser than people give them credit for.
because, like, I remember, like, people, like, or kids when I was younger who, like, wanted to do things, like, very specific things, like, hey, I want to go down this creative path.
I want to go down this creative path and then, like, their parents would be like, there's no future in that.
Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.
It was well loved.
There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay,
but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kamen was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod.
Hello, Lotus Alon.
and the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle
parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7-365.
Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you.
Because they grew up in a time where there was no future in that.
And then lo and behold, 20 years later, there's an insane future in that,
like, in these things that didn't exist before.
And I knew that too.
Like, when I was young, I was like, oh, this is, this internet thing is new.
I've never seen this before.
This is a whole, like, there's,
a bunch of opportunity here and I knew that what I wanted to do and I knew that it was worth my
time to like invest in that but because and my parents it's not like they didn't support me or anything
like they were totally like down with it but they were also like they grew up in a time where that was
stuff like that was like a waste of time so even though they did support me in doing that there
would always be like hey you should probably go to school even though you don't want to
you should and I did and I regret going to school because it was just film shit that I was learning how to do for free online anyway.
So I would just say like there is wisdom in kids when it comes to like what they want to do.
You know, like I think they're more in touch with, I'll say it this way.
I think kids know more about how the world will be than their parents do.
I think just naturally, just because they're growing up,
because they're just growing up in a time that is a little bit more
ever-changing.
My parents could never have predicted the internet.
And I think most people couldn't have.
But like, even I knew when I was like fucking 11
that it was going to be a fucking big deal.
And I would just say, yeah, just put some...
Let your fucking kids explore this shit.
because they might stumble across shit
that's like why, like you wouldn't even have even
thought about. Also,
also love. Love works, bro.
No. No. Carrying on a kid works,
man. It does.
I mean, that should be, it should,
that should be default.
That should be like love your fucking kids, right?
But yeah, like, to kind of
Chris's point, it's nurturing the passion
is, man, that's so important.
Because I was actually thinking about this recently.
I was thinking, why the fuck was I playing football?
I liked football, but it was not my passion.
It wasn't like, oh, I want to be a football player.
I was playing since I was like 10 years old or something.
And then into high school.
And I finally stopped when I got injured a bunch in JV.
And I'm still injured to this day.
And I was like, what the fuck was that even for?
And it was because, oh, my mom loved football.
My mom, like, wanted me.
And I remember being in Pop Warner like 10 years old.
Just having no passion, even though I was good for this,
I was just doing it.
Like, wow, that was awesome.
And I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing here.
That was, like, that was exactly me in baseball where, like, my dad was like this big Yankees
guy.
He fucking loved playing.
And you're like, hey, we're going to play baseball.
You're going to be on a team.
I was like, all right.
I guess is how the world works.
I mean, I thought, I literally thought everybody was on a baseball team.
Like, you just do it.
I literally, like, when I was the point where I was so young and I just thought everybody
did that.
Like, I thought every person, every person.
everywhere all over the planet.
They were just like, oh, when did you join the baseball team?
And they were like, what?
Yeah, dude, I don't even remember my mom asking about,
because I played baseball too for a couple of years.
I don't remember asking.
I don't remember asking about football.
I just like, you're going to do this.
Like, all right, you're going.
I don't, it's the weirdest fucking thing, man.
I just remember the, good, go ahead.
No, I was, I was saying, I think one of my earliest memories,
is just existing on a baseball team.
Like, it's this flash.
I have, this, this is the sequence exactly of how my memory evolves.
I was like, I remember being like a baby and my sister's friend, because my sister was
10 years or 10 years older than me, her friend who was older than her picked me up.
And I remember I grabbed her boob and then they put me down.
I remember this.
This is like one of my earliest memories.
Damn.
And then I'm on a baseball team.
That's the chronological
Like intro to my life as far as I can remember
And it's just like
What the fuck? How did I end up on this baseball team?
I just played basketball
I was like
My grandma was like
Do you want to play a sport?
You don't pay instruments
And I was like
I don't know
She was like all right
She put me in a piano
It's a piano for like three years
I remember barely any of it
I could just play keys
And I can read music
And now she's just
And I was like I want to play basketball
She was like all right cool
So I played basketball
It's like oh you're not horrible
at it and I kept playing basketballs.
I was like in 12th grade.
And that's it.
Then I just stopped because I was like, dang,
the people on my team that are better than me didn't get recruited.
So I ain't going no fucking where.
So I stopped and I started smoking weed.
Yeah, there you go.
There you go.
At least she gave you an option, man.
The people that I could barely defend that would get points on me were not getting,
we're getting ignored.
And I was like, well, fuck.
my eight nine points of games and like get me into the league
fuck that
bro that's what I thought about
I go ahead
I actually used to be pretty okay at basketball
but like I just I never played it like really
like I could shoot really well
like I was really good at shooting and then it just like
and then I didn't do it for like seven years
and I tried it again I was like ah
this is gone it's all over my prescription is worse
I mean right and at a certain level it's
you kind of realize
all right so everybody everyone's infinitely taller that's gonna really do something with this
they're not gonna like it's so it's such a diamond on the rough when somebody's like in our in the
five foot range that ends up in like NBA or even plays college ball and uh and that's why I thought
about when I was on football I was like I was like fuck varsity and my coach was so disappointed
he was so disappointed me and I was like why so you're you're mad that I'm gonna sit on the
fucking bench I was like the guy that that's that that's that that's that
I'm competing. We're competing for spots.
I was way short than him. This guy was probably like 6-2, 6.6.3.
And he almost beat me when we were sprinting.
Like I was too injured. I was like, what am I going to do?
If this guy's way bigger than me and he almost beat me, what the hell could I possibly do?
And he's like, I just, I just started a no man.
I was like, you're fucking, I told him that you're fucking crazy.
Like you're, I'm not going to sit on the bench.
I was like, I'm going to go fucking do nothing with my friends.
That sounds way better.
Yeah, dude.
And it was.
It was so much.
It was so great when, like, I got that, like, when I first realized I played, because for basketball practice, we practiced every other day.
So I'd finish school and I'd go to basketball practice, like, all the time.
Well, I'd say in the gym play everybody.
I remember seeing you when I wasn't playing.
I'd finish school and it'd be like 2.45 and I'm like, yo, what are we going to do?
Like, yeah, we're going to smoke.
And I was like, for what?
Really?
Like, like, right now, like, right after school, like, yeah, dude, we got time.
I didn't fucking do you do you it's like
nah so I had so much
free time available to me all of a sudden
that it was overwhelming
I was just like oh my
I could talk to girls I can go to the mall
I could I could do whatever
I fucking want because I don't have to run
three miles every day thank God
yeah
blessings bro
yeah
but if you've got the part
I got it
yeah well hopefully that was
some useful advice on
parenting from people who don't have kids.
Yeah, sorry.
The most important.
That we know of.
That we know of.
That is true.
I don't got any fucking kids.
I'm fairly confident.
I would have found out by now.
You don't know that.
I would have got a friend of note.
Someone could totally just be like, okay, they were so ashamed, and then it just
gone on too long.
And too long to the point where it's like, oh, my God, I got to say something at some
point.
And then finally, hey, here is your fucking 10-year-old son.
ashamed of me
that's not my kid
that's not my kid
it's been 10 years
it's not my kid
but it's 10 years
that's not my kid
it could be that's not my kid
come on 10 years ago
I'm like
you can't expect me to raise this
all right
all right
I think that's about the time
that we got for today
uh
Jesus Christ
if you like what you heard today
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Tank, $1 a month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes, of which there are currently three.
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That's one payment that you're in for good.
and 25 gets your name dyslexically red
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Count me down.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Nikki Ziggy, when the bullet hits the bow,
Chris, can you get me...
What?
An in with shoe.
I'm 25 and single.
Hey, oh.
Hey, man, shoot your shot, but I can't help you.
A vex simulation, don sexual.
Tell him Steve Dave
This is the Star Tank podcast saying
Happy 20th birthday to Misha K
Also come man come back
Seven
What is it? Trashbag 7
Otaku Bernal
God there's a lot of new names
What the fuck is going on?
Are these new people or are you guys fucking with me?
Yeah, because who the hell's Misha?
I never heard of Misha before.
Yeah, I never heard of that either
We're growing bro, slow, steady growth
Yeah
My gay is name
and I Sweeney the Tom Hate.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
Jesus Christ.
Asoka is my wifu.
Bra man from the Fifth Flow.
It's a character from the Martin show.
I've never seen Martin.
I don't remember that character.
I don't remember it at all.
I was watching like the Parker's and stuff, but like I never saw Martin.
Martin.
Ethan Cox is dead now.
I'm Ethan Cock.
Jesus.
Keith Dactyl.
Keith David.
Willie Wonka's come-diddly umptious bar.
Not gay Ben.
Parentheses, I'm not gay.
Parentheses.
No, really, I'm not.
Parentheses.
Seriously, I swear I'm not.
You have to believe me.
The fireball, little Sweeney threw and killed God.
White guilt paying his reparations, but not guilty enough to shorten my name, take my money.
John Strickland.
Boo Sniggins.
Merks.
Merks.
The milkman that looks like Chris.
Dank magician of chaos.
Adi's janitorial assistant.
assistant, sanguine Keith David.
There's a lot of Keith David's because it was his birthday.
That makes sense.
Jack McCann, the Irish man, who,
just kidding, is, it's
Keith David, you stupid bastards.
When in doubt, spooge it out.
The first church of Keith David, remember the
day of our lord.
Goups McKenzie, Levi Sutton,
D. Ildew,
Appa Yiff, oh my God.
Femboy Hooters waiter.
Lately, car buying has become
a pretty dull experience.
But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.
There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.
It was well loved.
There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay,
but this one needed some work.
That's just the start of the story.
So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,
he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.
Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit.
Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman
was out there on the track as a full-blown race car.
You're ready to go daily driver.
Your next Restamod.
Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it.
eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.
eBay.
Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,
which is America's largest injury.
law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north,
probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone
get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is
dialing pound law. That's pound.
down 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow. Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
Sammy and his big titty-fishing, Keith David,
drunken Keith David.
A dick in the hand is worth two in the ass.
Okay.
That's so stupid.
Pre-Raz, Chris Farley, Death Egg.
Tiny Asian man.
And one of the real biological sons of Tom Sweeney.
Ah, you see, you got a son out here.
Substitute come man, Blake 896, the epic Oshawa, silly putty eater,
future Hendrix, the Messiah of Misogyny, Ace Man,
fucking kill me, Keith David, Paul Joseph Watson, dunking on Chris.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Oh, shit, that's the big thing they didn't talk about.
Next time.
We'll fucking do it next time.
I totally forgot.
Wow.
Top 10 anime betrayals.
I can't believe I forgot that.
Our cat recently broke his foot.
Can you help us fix
Dokes foot on GoFundMe?
Help us.
I guess there's a fucking broken cat on GoFundMe that you can go fix.
A broken cat.
Hey boss, I've captured all three of the Star Trinity.
Now I don't have to crave the embrace of a human being.
You guys are fucking out of your mind.
God damn it.
It takes forever to load too.
Ryan Luchessey, amassing an army of hairless chimps
to take over the government and return to monkey.
Sloshy, scy.
out. Keith David. The Dark Loader was naked after getting resurrected. Doom Slayer got to see
his slung. The Snark Tank Cruise Femboy cum slut that's locked in the sex dungeon and loves it.
God help us. Tom Sweeney, the atrocious alien fucker. Please go check my podcast called How Do We get
here every Thursday. Leroyro Jenkins. Hope you guys like Weezer. Tom boys are the ultimate straight man's
choice unlike space gypsies. Hard hat skydiver. Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying
to cross the Gaza Strip, right?
Walked right into that Israeli
ambush. Oh, you switched
it up. He switched it up.
Twisted. Hey-oh.
Thank you for switching it up. I appreciate that.
Keith David again.
Fuck you, Chris. My name will be as long as I want.
I pay $25 for this shit.
Keith David's Captain Anderson
should have been a romance option in Mass Effect.
I agree.
But there would have been, there would have been some
impropriety there, given, you know.
Your ass is so juicy, Shepard.
Oh my God.
I'll fuck you read than that.
I've never,
I've never seen such a
luscious cock shepherd.
I'm rather starstruck.
It's so shiny and long.
Keith David, the Arbiter of Teabags,
Alaskan oil field trash,
Juan Punchman,
Marcus Shorten, Keith David.
I blew up a litter of kittens,
call it bomb pussy.
Papa Nergel.
Blend the baby shake shack.
Fuck you, Paul Joseph Watson,
you maladjusted jacking any.
Drying.
Damn, I can't believe we forgot.
Driving a car.
driving a car into Helen Parr's parachute pussy
Oh my God
Game Controller 25
Dick Vaney and the Pussy administration
Murder ascended
Keith David the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain
For the love of Christ
Please talk about Matt Gates I'm begging you
Lobotomized Jesus and his 12
Downy disciples diddle dogs
Diddle dogs for doge coin
Haco Unleash the Archers
Is one of my favorite bands
I think Chris and Derek would like
Try the album Apex
I've actually heard
heard of Unleash the Archers.
I listen to it.
They have that lady singer and they're like kind of,
what's that, what's that power metal?
Yeah, yeah. It's like,
yeah, yeah. I think I've heard a little bit of it.
Yeah, they ain't bad.
I'll check out that album.
Seven-year-old fetus.
Moto Zealot.
Hey, you, you're fine.
Oh, so there's like two?
Wait.
What?
That can't be.
Yeah, there's two.
Hey, oh.
Is it the same?
No way.
Hey, you.
You're finally awake.
You're trying to cross the border, right?
Walked right into that imperial ambush, same as us.
Okay, so this is a new person shaking your name up.
Way to go, hey you.
Calypses.
Hiroshima's Spicy Mushrooms.
Is this hard to read because I'm running out of ideas, to be honest?
Dummy Thick Dave.
Heartless Wretch, aka the Ebony Goblin from the dump of New York City.
I give it a 9.5 out of 10.
That's a pretty nice cock.
JFK's mind-blowing cherry pie recipes.
Master Chief, you mind telling me what you're doing in Epstein's cell?
Sir, suicide.
Yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy.
Keith, Absege, David, badly braids, jolly old dipshit,
hugger, Derek, movie theater manager.
Are you not an assistant manager anymore?
Did you get promoted?
Congratulations.
Congrats, bro.
That's a really subversive way of saying that.
Keith Eury and David, Chris Gap My Pergerian Hunting Ass,
and we're finally at the last page,
last handful, deflated left ass cheek, all hands on dick,
Arrow, Sunny Chance, Melfis 1 killed Dr. Drew,
and you let me edit Wikipedia, I can prove it.
Richter 86.
And as always,
Keith David.
Oh.
And that's him.
That's him.
Okay.
I'm going to say King of Haphazzard anyway,
because I have to say it.
If it's not him, then I feel sick.
Yeah, I'll be sick if we lost King of Haphaazard.
But thank you guys for stopping by.
I'm going to go edit this now, and it'll be up on time.
All right.
We'll see you soon.
Don't say the N-word in public if you're not the right color.
Peace out.
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