The Snark Tank - #72: E3 WAS GOOD/THE WORST??

Episode Date: June 20, 2021

Derrick died, Twitch becomes a fetish site, Chris breaks his glasses, Sonic denote autism, Dream makes cringey music; and our eyes soak in some news on Halo Infinite, Metroid, Final Fantasy, Outer Worlds! It's E3 2021 and boy was it mixed! Listen up, gamers! Sorry, I didn't mean to call you that.  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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he's a little dead meat. Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Snark Tank podcast. Boy, golly, howdy. Wow, it's us. I'm joined, as always, by Sweeney over here.

Unfortunately, Derek could not make it. He's in, I think he's in Transylvania or some shit. He, like, went on a vacation. he's gone he's in fucking he's somewhere in europe doing some doing european things and slaving and shit yeah he's he's he's off in a different realm and uh you know good for him but he tried he tried to join us today uh but his power converter for his outlets started uh catching fire literally so we were just like hey you know what don't burn your place down we'll just go we'll figure it out

for next time so if anybody has any questions that are directed specifically to derrick and I accidentally read them out before I realized cognitively that I should have skipped them. I apologize for that. Don't apologize to them. Don't apologize to them. Oh, okay, fair enough. Fuck you all, actually. Fuck you all. Fuck you guys.

Fucking losers. Yeah. Paint waffles. Yeah, we don't, fucking. We don't need you. Fuck you. But also, like, you know. Give us your money.

Yeah, consider tossing a dollar over at patreon.com slash a Star Tank. Anyway, this video is a little bit late for patrons. And for free feeds, it's going to go late. late a day, go live a day later. There's a lot of E3 shit that I've been doing that I've needed to catch up on. And also just like getting shit together for this show specifically, because I have done probably like four E3 podcasts at this point. And this is another one.

So there's a lot of E3 stuff to go over if this isn't your jam. if you're not a video gamist like us pro one pro gamist yeah then I guess you're gonna have a miserable time because this is gonna be a fucking massive geek sash huge

yeah massive enormous so but before before we get into that shit I broke my fucking glasses the other day and I just want to I want to tell this story specifically

because I don't understand the rationale behind it and if someone can explain to me why this makes sense, feel free to do so. I shattered my glasses the other day. Sucks. And I had to go back to like an old prescription, like from 2016. I can barely see right now. It's fucked. And I'm like wandering into the fucking lens crafters just wandering in there.

And I say, hey, I have my most recent prescription. I need glasses. and they said, oh, sorry, this prescription expired. And then they turned me away. I don't... That's fucking hilarious. I just don't... That's the funniest shit ever, dude.

It's literally a vision tax. Like, the idea that, like, I can't... Like, I understand for, like, prescription drugs, right? Like, oh, yeah, you don't want people hoarding these after they really need them, okay? Because they get addicted, all sorts of crazy shit. But I can't fucking overdose on sight. sight. What are they protecting me from?

Do you have any idea? That doesn't make any sense. I'd assume the idea was that they just wanted to test your eyes to make sure that you're getting the best possible one. But the fact that they wouldn't give you anything and it's turned your way is hilarious. Because like, what if you just couldn't get back home?

Yeah, I'm also like, look, I understand glasses take time to make. They can't just like print me a pair of glasses. But like at the same time They could if they wanted to Yeah maybe who knows But I don't know It's just

Yeah glasses elves It's just weird That a prescription like that Can expire to the degree Where they wouldn't even give you An old pair Just just as like a temporary fucking thing

That just seems weird That they wouldn't do that But Also you can like Buy You can make up a prescription On like Warby Parker And like

Really? Yeah I'm pretty sure Like as long as you have Prescription And you know your prescription You can just give them that detail or that information and they'll make you lenses and shit. So I don't, I don't know.

I haven't had glasses in like 10 years. I just stopped wearing my glasses, so. Do you need them? I don't know. I really need glasses. I feel like you see fine. I definitely need glasses. You read the TV from Far Away pretty all right, so like I don't think you need glasses.

I do, but it would be helpful because not only am I dyslexic, I'm colorblind, and I have a stigmatism. So my eyes are really, really bad. I just learned to deal with the fact that I have problems. Dude, they, they went when I went to get the eye exam that they charged me $90 for, I went in there and they took a picture of the back of my eye. I didn't even know that was a posse. I didn't even know that was a thing that.

What? I look, I, I was in a way. Someone in the comments might be able to explain this. But like straight up, like, they just, you, they, you put your eye in front of this weird, like, wally look machine. Oh, I know what that is. And then they like flash like an insane amount of light into your eye. But you don't see it. I guess. I don't know how it works. But yeah, it's like here's your optic nerve and, oh yeah, you see it's like you got a thin eye and I'm like, oh weird. You got a thin.

Do you have a thin, you have a petite eye? Yeah. I have a petite little like really small fuckable eye and like the fucking like apparently I have a scar on there from like when like I was a little child and I got hooked in the eye at a rainbow. Rainbows in the Bronx. By the way, saw this video trending on Twitter earlier today of like this dude. Huh? Rainbow like the boating place?

No, like the discount clothes place in New York. Rainbows? I only know about cookies. I know about cookies. That's about it. What? I don't remember rainbows.

You don't remember rainbows? No. Unbelievable. There was one on Gun Hill. That's the one I went to. Or Mushula. specifically. But by the way, there was like a video of like this footage in the Bronx earlier of

some dude just shooting a guy in front of two kids. So if you're, yeah, that's the Bronx. It's the Bronx that every that Sweeney keeps raving about. I don't rave about the Bronx. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't rave about it. I just say that's my home. I don't rape about it at all.

I know exactly what that place is like. You're fucking out of your mind. I miss it sometimes Not enough to live there again I miss New York I don't miss the Bronx Like Fuck the Bronx

Dude oh speaking of something crazy Bro I was just watching this guy Get into an argument right It was somewhere in the Middle East obviously Yeah of course And one guy got smacked And he was like He said something

And the guy smacked him again He pulled out a grenade And I was just like Oh shit Did it go off? Whoa Huh Did it go off?

Yes People would have When the camera ran away and you saw the grenade go off. Wait, he pulled and he pulled, he pulled out a grenade and the pin. He pulled the pin and then it went off. I don't know if he threw it at somebody or he held on to it and martyed himself. But all I know is that a live grenade was added to the party. Dude, fucking he marty-edomed himself.

That is fucking wild. Imagine being that prepared at any given moment to not only take yourself out, but multiple as well with very little. effort. Imagine just like having a grenade on you in case someone pisses you off to the degree that you'd be able to pull that out and actually just do what you need to do. You got to be bothered already. You can't just do that. That can't be a person that's not already like really upset. You don't

say the person carrying the live grenade? Because that's crazy, bro. A live grenade is like you know, a live grenade. That's like meant to end the game. Jesus fucking Christ. It was crazy. It usually is

like where was this you said definitely somewhere in the Middle East they were all like a little tanner than Puerto Rican people it's it's like the Middle East the Middle East is somehow on the lower like the lower end chain of like how frequent those videos

for some reason like it's like South America it's South America and China it yeah China was like more of a lively thing I mean general internet stuff it's like it goes I think it goes South America like Brazil and places like that

always some crazy shit then I think rushes next with like those people like sliding down museums and shattering their backs and dying on the street then then it's like then i think it's like the middle east mixed with like a little bit of the bronx it's like the middle east in the bronx yeah just someone fucking going just i saw a video i saw a russian video where this guy sneezing the explosion came out and Yeah. I immediately, as soon as I tried to send that to my friends, it was gone. Like, I was like, while I was sharing it, it was disappeared.

I was like, was it was you that sent me that video, the dude lighting the, this cigarette in the, in the shop with the gas leak, and then he becomes like a super sain. He just disappeared. That shit was insane. Dude, the internet is so fucked, because it's like, I don't even know if this bothers me anymore. But it bothers me that it doesn't affect me as deeply as it really should. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. I'd never owned a vintage camera before.

There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary in a world where everything lives on our phones. But I wanted to change that. So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera. When I finally found the perfect one on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself. I left it out on a table. Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment.

There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it. The moment became real right away. It was about choosing something. Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it. Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge, on shelves tucked into books. Each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned. That's what I appreciate about eBay. It's a place where you can find things that bring people together

and pass along things you no longer need, so they can become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On Decks Small Business Line of Credit gives your business immediate access to funds

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All loans and amount subject to lender approval. You know? It's your empathy being like, bro, there's a problem with that. Like, why are you not like screaming or crying? but my mind's like you can't scream and cry every time because it happened so often yeah it's it's uncomfortable like i i wonder if uh well no i don't warn wonder it's definitely not healthy to consume that content uh on a regular basis but every now and then you every now and then you see something that just peaks your curiosity like that gas league thing was

just fucking like because he did a jojo pose before it's like the most insane video we can't We can't show this to you, obviously. I don't even know. I don't even know. I usually don't. Look, I usually don't look into those situations because I don't like to know, like, whether or not they're okay. Because it just makes it so much worse. But I like to assume, like, oh, ha ha, they're fine.

This is Looney Tunes. It was one video where they were at a gas station in somewhere in Latin America, and a car just blew the fuck up. Like big. Like it wasn't like a small explosion. It was like big enough that the screen disappeared. You remember that like white dude who blew up like an entire block last year and no one talked about it because it was a white dude? What? No.

Yeah, exactly. It's fucking crazy. I think it happened. I think it was Christmas. I think it was like Christmas of last year that like blew up a whole block. I swear to God there was this video of like this whole block exploding. And it was like no one talked about it. Like I saw it on trending.

I didn't even see it trending on Twitter. It just came across my feed by happenstance. It's pretty insane. Anyway. It was a white dude. No one said anything about it. Classic. The moral of the story is...

The classic... The classic... He was a good kid. Never bothered anybody. Really good in school. I love those things so much. Never bothered a single soul. But the moral of the story is, just let me buy my prescriptions, you know?

Yeah, that's where we started. That's where we started. This is where we went. Jesus Christ. Does Derek ground us? No. Because we got like a real off topic real quick. Does Derek ground us?

We're not, none one grounds anyone else. We start talking about bull. You know how many times you've started talking about video games and it diverged into like pussy talk? I mean, you guys do that. No, you too. I don't. You're not exempt. Roll the tape back.

I challenge anyone. I challenge anyone. I challenge anyone. Find Chris is several times talking about pussy. You'll be able to find you. I don't do that. You talk about pussy when, when you don't initiate the. pussy talk but you do partake in a pussy well it's there like I have to keep the show

going I'm not gonna like hey guys can we don't talk about pussy please can we like not talk oh guys I get a little embarrassed like you know like I'm not gonna I'm not just gonna interject with like an awkward segue out of pussycaut if it's brought up then sure I'll talk about it but I never like bring up I never goes like a fucking saint but I don't start I don't start the pussy fire you know I don't ignite You just happily partake in the meals cooked by the pussy five. Look, I got a show to run, all right? I'm just saying.

And I want to make it easier for me to edit, so I'm not going to, like, stitch together these, like, two fucking sentences that may work. Fuck that. Ridicrous. This episode's not being edited at all, by the way, like, because we want to get this out. Oh, my God. We want to get this out as soon as possible because we're a bit late. So whatever happens, whatever mistakes, you're, this is your fault.

Lily bursts in immediately. Bubbs Oh my God That would be so That would be so disruptive I want to think about shit like that Because I wouldn't be able to just tell her to get out She'd be like how come what's going on

Are you recording it'd be ruined Anyway Anyway so yeah Broke my glasses Derek's out of the country Often fucking I don't even know Lithuania some some fucking Weirdo place

We'll see him back hopefully if he makes If he survives the flight back Lord knows all sorts of crazy things happen on planes these days Why are you just putting that energy out there? I'm just don't, can you imagine something bad happens? Yeah, it would suck dick. What if he gets Bioshocked and he's like on a plane that goes down and he's like, it's Derek, Derek's swimming through the ocean up to a lighthouse and then he goes through the entire experience of Bioshock and he comes back a completely changed man.

He doesn't want to do the podcast anymore because he's seen too much. No, he comes back with a bunch of super fucked stories. But he's still just as fucked up. He's just as the same Derek. is a really fuck mentality. Do you think you could, so do you think you could go through like a Bioshock experience and then like, or not even just a Bioshock, but just like a silent hill, any given silent hill or like any given Resident Evil?

Do you think you could like come out of that and then come back to doing this? I would have, oh man, because that's hard because you're just different at that moment. Yeah, you're a completely changed person. But we're already kind of fucked up, you know, like... Not to the degree that like... We're not like psychopaths, you know, because that would make you a psychopaths, you'd become crazy. Yeah.

Like someone would cough around me and I would put them to sleep. Because like, could you imagine someone acting weird around doing Resident Evil? Like after, like Leon Kennedy goes home after Resident Evil too. And then some guy coughs around him, he's like, yo, you cough one more time, I'm putting a bullet in between your eyes. Yeah, you'd have like PTSD associated with pretty much everything. It's like that video, the dude who gets the surprise party thrown for him, He pulls his gun out.

Dude, he pulls his gun out so fast. Dude, that life. He pulled his gun out and then cocked it back and was ready to spray everyone in that room. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay. I'd never owned a vintage camera before. There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary

in a world where everything lives on our phones. But I wanted to change that. So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera. When I finally found the perfect one on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself, I left it out on a table. Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment. There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it. The moment became real right away.

It was about choosing something. Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it. Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge. on shelves tucked into books, each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned. That's what I appreciate about eBay. It's a place where you can find things that bring people together

and pass along things you no longer need so they can become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On-deck's small business line of credit

gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment. Get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow.

Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. OnDec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. It was just... It was just his friends and family being considerate. Like, imagine the life that you'd have to live for that to be your immediate response to surprise party. Dude, my response to a surprise party is also, like, unsettling.

It's like, oh, I don't like this. People are in my house. This is a place of safety, and it's now that a losing is completely shattered. Like, I understand that. But then pulling out of fucking blicky, you know, like, holy shit. Fucking blast went ready to fucking air people out. I wish. I could come back.

I didn't come back from that. I think I'd be normal still be me. I don't think I'd still be me. I don't think I would. I don't think I'd be right. We all, I already repress a lot of my feelings. So I'm pretty sure that I could repress too.

There's only so much you can repress, though, when you're seeing, like, shit like that. Like, dude, I don't want to spoil it specifically for anybody who's played it, but you go through that baby sequence in Resident Evil 8 and you're fuck. You're like, you're not going to be okay after that. You'd have to join the military. You'd have to become a military person. Just to, dude, that's a step down.

You'd have to. You'd have to be going to the military because if you, because your brain's already used to that kind of like, that kind of shit happens. Yeah. You got to be like, I got to go use this because I'm already not okay. Just point me to people I can put to sleep. You can't put me in a Baskin-Robbins now. I will, I am violent. I cannot be trusted among civilian life. Put me in the military where my trauma can be utilized for a greater good.

Honestly. Or become a mercy. Or some shit, man. Dude, no one would hire that mercenary. Yeah, they would. Yeah, the fuck they would. Well, yeah, 100%. No, because hit, no, because Hitman, like Agent 47 isn't some dude who's been traumatized.

He's like. He is traumatized. Objectively. But he's like an autistic traumatized guy. But not in like a supernatural sense. Like, he didn't. You have to, you have to do that. If this, if, look, look, look, look, think of it like this again.

a bit of a stretch, all right. Think of it like this. Okay. All right. I'm ready. Guts from Berserk. You're telling me he would not be the hottest mercenary on the fucking block. He's killed demons, bro, regularly. A person is chump changed to him. I don't know enough about Berserk to understand. Like, is that the one with the rape horse?

I think it is. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's all I know about it. Like Trevor Belmar, or like Trevor Belmont. Like someone that's been through that kind of shit, like they're the best. because they are killers. Well, no, because Trevor Belmont's not a good assassin because he's experienced supernatural shit. Everybody in that world has experienced supernatural shit.

But he's good, but he's... He's good at fighting. He's the MC because, like, he's, he's already achieved the fact that he's good at killing anything. We've seen him kill. He can do it. I understand what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. It's just, he is not special because he has seen trauma.

He's special because he's good at fighting monsters. But what happens is if you survive that shit, like if you go through the main character's journey of some sort of fucked supernatural, zombie fucking war bullshit, you are going to be the best killer on the planet by the end of that. I would never assume. Here's the thing. If I made it through the entirety of like Resident Evil 7 or whatever the hell. or something like that. Not seven, not seven, maybe eight.

Either one of them. Like, if I made it through the, not both of them, because that's like a whole, like, two of those is like, you can't make that up. But like, if you go through one of those experiences, if I went through one of those experiences, me as myself and I came out the other side alive, I would immediately assume, wow, that was a mighty fluke.

I'm never going to indulge in this again. I'm never taking a vacation. I'm not going to fucking Transylvania or whatever the hell. I'm not ever taking a vacation. Dude, staying in my house only. I'm staying in my country at the very least, or in my state. I'm not going to go to Louisiana and get lost in a mold house. You know, like the adventures stop because I don't, I would never believe that I made it out of there by pure skill.

I would be like, oh my God, so many, so much luck got me out of there. I would believe there'd be chance. That'd have to be some sort of chance like that, but I wouldn't risk it. I would have to, you would, you would be like that guy. You'd be like Chris did that, you know, and you know shit. You'd be, your perception would probably be way better than it was before because you're always scared now. So you'd, if someone fucking opens a door two floors down, you'll be like, oh, someone's in the building. And you'd be able to track them.

That's scary. That's a scary amount of power to add. You'd be better. But you would definitely, you'd definitely probably end up offing yourself because I'm a stress you're under all the time. Oh, yeah, without a doubt. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, I guess so. I don't even remember what we were talking about.

Anyway, Twitch is interesting. Twitch is pretty interesting right now. We talked a little bit about the Hot Tub meta in one of the last episodes that we did. I can't remember exactly which one. But it was definitely. It's a powerful build, honestly. Definitely within the last, like, five episodes. I think we've talked about the Hot Tub thing and, like, the Hot Tub streamers, like, going up and, you know, streaming in, like, bikinis.

And it's essentially, like, ah, you're bordering on the line. of, you know, being a cam girl. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay. I'd never owned a vintage camera before. There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary

in a world where everything lives on our phones. But I wanted to change that. So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera. When I finally found the perfect one on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself, I left it out on a table. Always within reach, people started picking it out.

without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment. There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it. The moment became real right away. It was about choosing something. Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it. Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge, on shelves tucked into books. Each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned. That's what I appreciate about eBay. It's a place where you can find things that bring people together and pass along things you no longer need so they can become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you

get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On-deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected. expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws transparent pricing and control over repayment get funded quickly and confidently apply today at on deck.com funds could be available as soon as tomorrow depending on certain loan attributes your business loan may be issued by on deck or celtic bank on deck does not lend in north dakota all loans and amount subject to lender approval

uh and you know fine fair enough there's already like uh the thing with that shit is that there's already like a pools there was already like a pools and like beaches section on twitch i believe like stream at the beach already, so it's like, all right, there's, uh, you're, you're definitely pushing it, but like, fine, whatever. Lately, though, the last couple days that I've noticed, things have gotten a little bit, uh, extra. Uh, we got Indy Fox, uh, who was previously doing some hot tub streams. I don't know why she stopped and started doing this. Seems weird. But, uh, you know, uh, just putting binoral microphones. upper ass and farting for money

don't know what to make of this this is a little weird they opened a floodgate man they let the hot them tatam thing go they were like it's fine you don't have to watch it it's fine and now

the site is kind of chatter bait with video games sometimes. Yeah, yeah. It's very, look, I want to say right off the bat, I'm totally fine with like only fans and like chatterbid and all these things existing. Like, whatever. Like there are corners of the internet made for that.

But because I am autistic and this is the best way I like to explain things, uh, some sites are designed with their own purpose. And it is usually a good. thing for sites to maintain their identity and not kind of you don't put Sprint in a Halo game sprint is pretty cool maybe Sprint's pretty cool over on chatterbate maybe sprints pretty cool on on you know porn hub and and whatever the fuck but look Brassers has some good sprint yeah there's look there's some pretty good sprinting sites but

But Twitch, I think, is a little better when there's no sprint. I think it was designed with no sprint in mind. Now they're kind of- Now they're kind of shoehorning sprint into an ecosystem where it wasn't ready for and like, you know. And now that sprints available. It only incites different kinds of things that are going to inherently destroy the maps. Exactly. It nullifies some of the weapons that were already useful because if there's a whole

sprints meta, what about everything that was not involving sprint? People are going to assume it's too slow. Yeah, no one's going to watch the crouch jumping streams and no one's going to watch, no one's going to watch the bomb jump streams. Who's going to get in vehicles now if they're sprinting all over the place? Who's going to watch the vehicle videos?

Everyone's going to tune in to the sprinting vehicles. And then the, dude. And then now imagine the sword. Now, let's just say, someone has large, with large breasts has a sword, right? and at an on stream. And then like, if they can sprint, if they're sprinting around, why are you ever going to look at me, you know, the good old fashion,

the good old fashion melee, regular melee, you know, at 30 FOV, if they have a sword and they're just going to go around sprinting with the sword cut and everybody open, you know, inherently destroys the design philosophy. I think, uh, I imagine so many people are fucking baffled, but I, they're so fucking confused. If you understand what we're, saying though, God bless you, you probably got a big kick out of this. But I think, I don't know, man. I just think I'm not opposed to this inherently. It's weird. I don't understand this specific

genre of pornography in the first place. Like the whole like, do, but, yo, can I, hold on the fart on the mic, dude. Fart on the mic. Hold on. Honestly, I want everybody in the audience to think about this. Would you rather be caught watching porn or would you rather be caught watching a streamer fart into a microphone? Dude, I would, if I was watching. If I was watching Twitch streamers, like in hot tubs, like, you know, shitting. Like, I feel like, and someone walked in, I would immediately, like, alt tab into, like, into porn. Like any kind of legal porn. I would, you know, immediately go to.

Because that's so much easier to explain than, oh, I wanted to see fucking Amaranth fart into a microphone or whatever the fuck. Like, I don't, no king's shame, I guess, but low-key kind of. You switch to midget porn, bro. You switch to midget gangbangs after it. Well, that's it's like if someone, if you catch. somebody watching midget porn, you're probably going to think to yourself, oh, weird, but you're also going to think to yourself, ah, it's weird. People are into weird things, whatever. It's pornography. I'm not going to, I'm not going to set, I'm not going to dip my toes into this discourse. You catch somebody watching stuff on Twitch, though. Then your immediate thought is like, dude, why aren't you just watching porn? Just watch porn. Just watch porn, dude. It's fine, dude. Like, don't even trip. It's fine. It's free. It's Low res. It's 4K. There's a lot of it.

There's low res. There's 4K. Also, this weird... I like low-res porn the most. 360p, man. Because then this is a mystery what's going on there. It's like watching a fucking... It's like watching a DaVinci-Bayton move. It's implied. It's implied. It's like, oh, I can't even really see this person's face. That could be whoever I wanted to be. Exactly, dude.

I don't know, man. I just think it's... It's classic, like, 16-bit video games, bro. Exactly. It will always just be the classically. Your imagination does all the heavy... lifting for you. Exactly. I don't know, man. This whole thing's fucking just bizarre. Like, the whole, just watch fucking, and even just this weird half step between like, why aren't you just subscribing to Camgirls? Like, why aren't, why not just, at the very least, dude,

if you're like into weird shit, why not fund the people who are actually like committed to doing it instead of these like weird half step people on Twitch where just like, uh, like, I don't think they would call themselves sex workers, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, they're streamers. Yeah, they'd be like, they'd be like, I'm a streamer, but it's like, uh, okay, but. The thing is this, the thing is this. This, how everything works in the world. We understand that this is the beginning and then it will get worse and worse and worse.

That's how it works. There's always one person that opens the flood. They need to nip that in the butt immediately. You know, because it's fine. If, if Twitch is a place that has. a certain sort of conduct to it and that is the conduct that it holds itself up to then that's fine you know you shouldn't be afraid of all the people like that's not fair we want to watch it's like well no twitch is not for that there are the websites for that kind of thing you know yeah yeah and they

should have just done that but now what happens was we had the hot tubs and now we have the microphone up the ass meta and where do we go next because that's that's that's a strong evolution right there yeah next is going to be a camera uh uh inside someone pointing directly at their cervix and they're going to like make it talk they're going to like move like try and flex the muscles to make it look at speaking fucking grave mind oh my god talking and fucking rhyme that's that's the next logical step right you know you know you take the clothes off you go up the ass now you go into the ass and now it's like there's a whole there's a whole world down there you know like it's a fucking marshaland

dude this is i think is i wonder how long this is gonna last though because hot tubs were like one of those things where it's like yeah you know like i don't know you bring kids to beaches and you know like there's i could see a lot of arguments being like ah whatever it's just people in hot tubs i also understand that no one is watching those streams for any other reason than to see half naked women but you know but you know there was at least some kind of a pro like a case to be made about like the appropriateness of just a person in a bikini because it's like whatever like but it's like people saying they were watching hot tough streams because like it's like saying you watch bay watch for the characters right you

didn't exactly but liar you don't play dead or alive for the fucking male characters you're right but bay watch was on television you know like anybody could anybody could somebody could stumble across baywatch it's like all right fair enough whatever true i i i struggle to imagine an appropriate scenario where a microphone is placed up the ass of someone. That is one thing. Colonoscopy. Me and Nisa were talking about this. If you were getting a colonoscopy and someone was trying to show you how it works,

then by all means, the mic up the asshole makes sense. Yeah. Even so, in an educational capacity, I don't think it quite holds up in the same way. You'd be surprised which you could post on YouTube for educational purposes. That is true. You would be surprised. I watched a 20 minute jelking video. Yeah.

It was like, whoa. YouTube is different because YouTube is kind of like, I don't even have a way of justifying that. I was trying. I was trying. I was trying my best, but you can't. Dude, you can find straight up porn on YouTube. If you just go to most recently up,

if you Google any type of porn search term on YouTube, it'll show up. most recently uploaded because they can't filter that shit. It's just too quick and YouTube's too big. It's too much. I don't envy the people whose jobs it is to solve this shit. They're not people. They're robots. Well, that is also true. But either way.

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I'm going to oil myself. I'm going to lather myself in oil. Maybe I'll just cook myself, quite frankly. What I'm going to do is I'm going to have a mic near my face and a mic near my genitals. I'm going to get an erection. I'm going to slap my dick against my thighs. Yeah, yeah. It's fine.

That's ASMR. That's ASMR right there. It is ASMR. It's like, it's just like, you know, sensations. Yeah, dude. Like I like feeling. The rubbing of my brain with word. It's like, yeah, dude, sure.

Rub your brain with my fucking dick. How about that? Yeah, honestly, like, at this point, like, I don't see, I don't see how they could really make a case. Like, as long as you don't see it, as long as, like, you literally on camera, like, you can do fucking anything. I could just have the camera,

I could just, I can have the camera like this. And it would be perfectly fine. Look, all I got to say is that it's going to get bad, it's going to get worse for it gets better. It's going to get. And I cannot wait to see the worst. I cannot wait to see it because I'm going to be there for the bullshit. I'm going to stream Dark Alliance, the new D&D game when it comes out.

And I'm just going to be like, I'm using a fleshlight. And I'm put as much vacillated as I can. So you guys get here, everything going on down there. It's not even like a fucking, you know what's weird? The fucking microphone that she's using, it's like a binaural one. Like, it's not even like a cheap one. like a binaural microphone is the one that like is like it's like the the shape of two ears and it like it actually like displaces sound like it actually like an earwood and it's specifically for uh asmr but it's like you putting that shit up your ass dude she got money bro i mean yeah i mean she's like definitely i know people who uh who have worked for her so like i i know she's got a lot of money You know?

And by all means, like, dude, make your money, but this is going to be fucking. Oh, my God. The thing says just end if there's no fart. People are broken, man. People are broken. Just don't even stream if you're not going to fart for us, dude. Like, why are you even wasting our fucking time with this shit? I gave you a sub.

Fart loud. Yo. That whole community. That whole community. Like, fuck it. You can't, you'll never find a hive of more concerning individuals than you'll find in Indy Fox's Twitch chat. Like you just. Concerning?

Oh. Just a sincerely concerning hive. I can tell you a more concerning group of people. Well, what? Sonic fans. Sonic fans above 27. No. They're fucking, they're startling human beings.

Yeah, but they're just autistic. Like, there's nothing inherently. wrong with that. You know what? Yeah, they're just autistic. It's like there's a difference between like, oh, you know, I like Sonic, therefore I have a learning disability and, you know, being a genuine creak. You were talking about how Sonic is pretty much as an autism test?

I think it's like, dude, this, this, I don't know, look, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want this to seem offensive to anybody with, I'm not at all. Dude, listen, I'm fairly certain. I, I can't be sure. but I would be fucking staggered if I was not on the spectrum in some way like I'm pretty confident that there's something wrong

I don't open emails because they stress me out just seeing them like just like I like I'll wait until someone calls me like where the fuck are you why haven't you answered your emails like sorry I'm scared of them you know so I don't think I'm on the spectrum but I'm definitely shattered

like there's something wrong upstairs like there's you're just broken I don't think you're autistic Yeah, there's something wrong up there. But yeah, dude, like honestly, in my experience, typically, if someone likes Sonic, that seems to coincide with a certain type of person, you know, God bless him. I think it's the big eyes personally. I think it's the fact that their eyes are joined. I think it's the speed.

I think it's the speed in which she processes things because it makes them realize how bad they are processing the chain. in the world. I mean, I don't know. That's a whole, you know, we're none of us are medical professionals, so we'll leave this conversation. We'll leave this conversation to you guys. I'm trying to be a nurse. That's not, that's way bigger than what I'm going to be. I'm just going to like, like, put people's stomachs back in their bodies when they come out.

That's it. I'm a clean shit off like really big people. Like, I ain't that. That's not me. Oh, my God. That's so, I could never do that. I could never do a job like that. Oh, I'm going to definitely quit eventually. just fucking leave so we touched on

we touched on the Indy Fox thing the last thing I want to talk about before we get into E3 is this I don't know if you saw this but did you see this dream video where I have not I'm going to watch a little bit right now

to see how bad it is there's this dream song called Mask or something and it's just this terrible you've seen the the memes of like the CG character that's used in it. It's like,

it's just, my god, yeah, he looks so disgusting. It's really embarrassingly bad to the point where, dude, he's talking about like, I struggle a lot and I wear a smile because I cannot,

I cannot feel happy on my own. I wear a smile mask and I've worn it so long that it's real now and all this crazy stuff. And it's very like a hashtag deep, you know, like 17 year old. Uh, you know, Wow, how introspective.

I saw his report card meme, and he got all Fs, and I was like, bro, that's bad. Yeah, I don't know anybody. I don't know anybody who's gotten all Fs ever. Like, can you imagine failing every single one of your classes? Like, you don't find anything that you're naturally good at or just like, it's not even like, okay, you're not good. not good at math man I can't do math at all like I'm fucking in neft when it comes to math I still have to fucking count on my fingers I I fucking can't do it but but I can write shit I'm at least like a plus in English and like fucking you know there's

economics I'm okay at and all this other shit like imagine getting an F minus on more than one not only more than one all of your classes gym you can't study Hall. Imagine failing study hall. How do you get all at? I'm crying. Dude, man, that's what Minecraft does. I would be so scared to get that

report card to my parents. All right, Dream. What's one minus two? What do you mean? Do you mean one minus one block minus one block? Wood? D&T? Diamond sword?

Creep. Per. I swear. Minecraft, Steve. It can't. Dude. Box. Box.

Box. What is? Dickheads. I, look, we've all failed classes here before. Look, I was,

I was the kid that was forced to stay home and study all the time. And then I remember I took, I took honors chem and I got a 67 on a class. And I got a two on an AP. And I was. so confused because I studied a lot. Like I thought I was doing good when I took the test. And then when I got the score back,

I had to recalculate my life. My grandma made me stop playing basketball. Like that's how off I was in that period of time. So I failed classes. But all Fs is bad. That is bad. That's reset. You got to reset.

You got to figure out what you're going to do with your life because schooling. You got to drop out immediately. That's, that's, that's, restore to factory default. Like you gotta, there's something, something went wrong in, in like the updating phase,

and now you gotta defragment that entire hard drive. Like, all, look, I failed classes. Like, obviously.

Like, I think everybody's failed at least one class. Like, and there are classes where I, like, barely scrape by. Like, oh, hey, here's a,

here's a D for fucking physics or whatever. And it's like, all right, whatever. Like, it's, it's math. I can't, I'm bad at math.

Like, every math I can't do. I just fucking, whatever. It's just the fact that it's all F's. like every single That's gonna become my screen I'm making this my screen saver actually

You should make that your Twitter header This is all-ass But dude It's that whole video is so bad It's like this Really over the top edgy like

Feel sad for me song But it's not even like half as good As like Like it's just not It's not even as good as like Evan essence You know like it's just bad It's just like

It's written so poorly he's like there's a part in that song where it's like devastating to him where it's like they think I might need glasses and it's like I think I think I might need glasses as well I desperately need glasses I I have glasses and it's and it's and it's and to be perfectly frank having glasses is like one of the positives that I have like that's like that's like the thing that I have that's like one of the few things that I have to deal with that I'm like man, I'm glad it's this, you know? Yeah, because like, it's not so bad.

You could be like, you could be an ice kid. That could always be another reality where like, your mom's going to get taken away from you and you're going to get sold in a box. It's supposed to be furniture in it. They took my mom from Calabasas. Like, fucking, dude, you know. Yeah, you could be like a deported kid, but it's like, oh, they think, they think, they think I might need glasses as like this harrowing experience for dream.

How sheltered, how sheltered you have to fucking be. Okay, let's let's, I feel like such an asshole. Okay, look, the whole dream situation is hilarious. I watch a content creator called Omni, who like has been like up to day with all the dream bullshit since like the beginning of the quarantine. And he's kind of, dream's kind of an asshole. He's kind of an asshole. He has a very toxic fan base who just like just take things to the extreme. He was doxed apparently.

It may have been, like it's just so much shit going on with that whole. Minecraft sphere involving it. Well, look, that sucks. Doxing is shitty unless it's like a pedophile or something, in which case, like, look, I'm not going to tell you to do it, but like, you know, I'm not going to say anything about that. I'm not going to be like, oh, how dare you? Consistency and morals and all that. It's like, nah, that's fine. But dream, I don't know, you cheat in Minecraft,

and you get docs, that seems a bit like, the punishment does not fit the crime in that, in that scenario. 110% does not. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, fucking wild that people were like you cheated in Minecraft I should reveal where your family is because the internet is unhealthy place do people get unhealthy attachments and they just do fuck shit and it's like you you think it's okay to docks him because he cheated in Minecraft yeah what is your life like there's a lot of crazies and uh you know it that's that's the case with all corners of the internet But I just wanted to talk about it because that video was so bad.

That was like one of the worst. It was really bad. The all Fs has to become my background. That's going to be like I have to. I need that. It is. It is funny. There's a lot of good meme material in it.

And I hope he's, I hope he gets over this though because like the Minecraft fans are so bad. Well, so poisonous. Listen, the thing, not to, not to refocus criticism on dream,

but there's, This whole video is about how like you shouldn't take medication if you're having like mental illness or whatever. And it's like, or at least that's like kind of the thing that I got from it was like, I'm sad and they gave me pills, but I threw them down the drain and I feel good. And it's like, ah, ah, you know, hmm, nah, ah, maybe don't. You might be a certain case, friend. Yeah, listen, maybe you're probably just overdiagnosed. You're probably just like, oh, I got nervous before I peed my pants. And then like, and your doctor's like, all right, riddling.

Yeah, the doctor was like, oh, you're. nervous once, you have anxiety. And then they gave him pills and he was like, I'm sure that happens to some people, but it's like, like, I'm still pissing my pants. It's like, not pissing my pants more. It's like, you gave me this. I got really nervous because I saw Buff Corel on YouTube and it made me insecure.

Here, Buff Correl. Amazing. God bless Buff Corral. God bless him in time. This has been the most fucking out of this podcast. Derek does ground us. Holy shit. Derek scourges

because this is just like us talking in the house again and it's just like bullshit being said left it right That is true This is this is Every podcast with just you and me Just becomes our normal day In front of microphones Alright

Let's talk about E3 stuff Let's focus towards video games Yeah we're back now Now that all the All the current events is done Let's jump into E3 So obviously we're at the point now Where everybody's gone already

you know Microsoft went Nintendo went Ubisoft Gearbox Take 2 and Square Enix went Most of them were bad

Not very good at all There's that one Final Fantasy game Like the Final Fantasy Origins Strangers of Paradise or whatever the fuck That looks like DMC Except not fun And And

And That entire trailer is literally just that one guy for Final Fantasy being like, I want to kill chaos. Chaos. I'm here to kill chaos. I'm here to spread my lips for chaos. I'm here to fuck chaos. I'm here to put my vainie peepie in chaos.

Literally the whole thing is just that and I couldn't believe how bad it was. But, you know, new Final Fantasy for everybody. So, uh, let's go over the bad than the good. So I almost don't even remember any of the bad

because what was the, well, okay, the take to take to interactive they own really bad they publish I'm fairly certain they publish Rockstar I'm mistaken right they're fairly certain they publish like GTA and and Red Dead

and I think Borderlands as well but I could be wrong I feel like I remember Borderlands being like a 2K game but they had an E3 keynote that was literally just a Zoom call about like diversity and they didn't show any anything.

Like it was just people on Zoom talking about this industry, eh. And it was just like, okay, that's fun. That's a nice little thing. Why would you do that? Massive waste of time. Gargantuan.

I couldn't, that was easily the worst. Then... Yes. We had Ubisoft. Ubisoft, I was just bored. It wasn't like... They had that Mario Rabbits thing that, inexplicably...

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Why are you saying rabbits and Raymond? Raymond. Raymond is where the rabbits came from. Rayman. Why are you saying Raymond? Sorry. Rayman is where the rabbits came. The rabbit, because they're not rabbits, they're rabbits.

Yeah, yeah. So that's where that came from. And I was like, I did this years ago. I'm over it. But people love that game. Yeah, I mean, more power to them. More power to them. They had that Avatar thing as well that I just don't care about at all.

Avatar sucks. Like, it's just not a good movie. How are you validating, in the Avatar game almost let me check when Avatar came out actually 2009 Christmas I think it did I remember seeing it around my birthday I could be wrong though I swear I feel like I remember Christmas

2009 I could be wrong but I'm fairly certain 2009 you were nail on the head 2009 December 18th nail on the head yeah but yeah oh it got re-released the theaters again that's right get my theaters again so that game came out that movie came out 12 that movie came out 12 years ago

and they're like let's make a video game for this movie that came out 12 years ago that frankly sucks dick that movie I hate that movie so much it's not good so much like it's genuinely not a good movie like I've it's the most I'll say about it

is that it's a movie you know it's competent it's finished it doesn't glitch you know it doesn't like there's no dropped frames on the Navi or whatever the fuck the CG works I guess but like

the whole time I have never felt so hollow watching a movie that was trying so desperately to be the opposite was like look at all these colors look at all these great creature designs isn't this cool I'm like yeah but I don't care also let's be real they would have gotten swept the fuck up by the military

like I yeah I don't believe for a fucking second that robots and helicopters and V-Toles with machine guns mounted on the side of them. V-Toles. That's great. Look, the best part about that movie is that Zoe Zaldana's in it.

She is a goddess among women. Great. So Gorni-River is in it. I love Sigourney-Iritch. She's cool people, you know. But the movie was just another, we're from different worlds, but we can learn to love each other. It's like Pocahontas, just in space.

Yeah. And I don't give a fuck about Polona-Honauts. I'm glad she dies. I'm glad she. I wish John shot her earlier. What the- killed her earlier? Why are you saying, dude?

I don't even care, bro. I'm part that people and I'm still saying that. I mean it. Yo, you're crazy. You're in your mind. I hate that movie. I hate that movie.

I hate, I hate Avatar. I hate everything about it. I hope the next movie starts with all of them getting yellow fever or fucking the whooping cough or something like that. Like, I fucking hate that movie. Dude, holy, okay. I mean, I just. All right, man.

I mean it. Fuck this. Fuck that. movie. Whoa, dude. Why would it take the name as the last airbender? It disrespected my fucking show, bro. Fuck them. Fuck them. That's... I'm fucking out of here. Okay, I understand that. I can understand the name thing put that into perspective, because that's the same, that's the same thing I feel with Beyonce and Halo. Like, she ruined, she ruined searching Google for Halo stuff for me because the first thing's always fucking

Beyonce's fucking, I can see your Halo. And it's like, very cool. Very cool, B. Why don't you go ruin the Lion King? She didn't ruin it, but she definitely did not help it. She didn't help it. If it was anybody else, the Lion King would have been 1% better, but it still would have been a shitty movie. 1%. But, yeah, so Avatar was probably, like, the biggest thing they showed. They showed Rainbow Six Quarantine, too, which looks fucking generic as fuck.

I couldn't believe how generic it went. It looks like. Gears without any of the characters of gears. Yeah, it looks like gears without the melodramatic charm. It looks like Destiny without any of the good art design. It looks like, it just looks bad. Like, Rainbow Six is supposed to be, like, grounded, tactical, military action. And I get that this is like a side thing.

And it's not like, you know, freedom of expression to do whatever you want with side projects. I get it. Like, Halo made a fucking, like a film noir detective stealth game because it wasn't a numbered title. With ODST. So, like, I get it. wanting to experiment. But I don't know. Something about just, oh, let's take this thing that exists, but let's put aliens in it.

It's so fucking boring and it's so expected. One of the things that I appreciate about a lot of the stuff that we saw, honestly, this year, is that, like, people are starting to use vampires a lot more often, which is kind of cool because I feel like zombies are kind of, you know. Vampires, I hate vampires. As a classical nerd, a contemporary nerd, as you could say. I hate vampires, but it's cool seeing them in games where I can kill them. Right. It's fun to kill vampires.

There's more, there's more involved with vampires. You get to like, I mean, I don't know how these games are going to work exactly, but like, I don't know, there's a whole silver mechanic and like the whole cross and all this, you know, the steak and like this. They live from Castlevania that vampires are cool again. It's more, okay with that. It's just more interesting than zombie game number 578. As excited as I am for Back for Blood because it's like a...

That is, uh, something that made me really scream. Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun with that one. Hopefully it's good. I have no reason to believe it wouldn't be. It's the same studio. It's going to at least be fun. It's going to at least be fun.

That's all I want for me. It doesn't have to be stunning anywhere. It has to be fun. Most games that, like, copy Left for Dead are pretty solid. Like, even World War Z, that wasn't bad at all. Like, it was a bit, like, they went a little bit overboard with, like, the weapon customization. It was, like, attachment, this will boost damage.

And it's like, I don't really care about damage in Left for Dead. It's just more about, like the horde and like the bosses that come by every now and again like i don't i don't care if this attachment is going to give me like plus six damage like i don't i just don't give a shit about that shit that's the RPG aspect of shit that people like okay i'm gonna say this is it makes it really upset to say but so many games that are RPGs don't need that aspect of it it just needs like at the addition i love role playing games right but if you're going to give me RPG i want in deft RPG. I don't want like

this is plus damage. This is plus damage reduction. Oh, fire. No, I want like real deep customization. Like I want like to really be able to change their my character's function. Opposed like this character is just going to shoot, but there's going to be these airport different abilities

that come from him or like stuff like that. Like I want like real RPG shit. So like I don't really like that everything needs to do that now. Yeah. It's... Like God of War, I didn't think it needed the RPG aspect of it. Like, I don't, I don't, it's unnecessary, you know? Yeah, I paid very, very, very

little attention to that. Like, I, like, I like, like, skill trees are fun. Like, I think they're fine. Like, in Ratchet and Clank, there's, like, your weapons upgrade over time and it's like, all right, that's fun. That's fun. Yeah, like, but that's as deep as it should go, I feel like, and even for a game, like, back for blood, which is supposed to be

Leffordead. The whole fun of Leffordet is that it's very approachable, and you can pick it up and you immediately know how to, how to play, you know what a gun does because of the kind of gun it is, It doesn't need this weird knowledge of like attachments and like, oh, this one is a silencer. So it does this instead. It's like, no, just listen.

Just put a gun in front of me, have it function consistently so I can get excited when I see it on the map at some point. And just let me have fun shooting zombies with my friends. Or give me different bits of equipment that I can use. Like the Molotov and the fucking boomer bile and the, you know. Let the things that happen from the weapons be done visibly or physically. Like, you pick up a gun, you pick a pistol as a silencer on it. By nature of knowing what a silencer is, this pistol is quieter than a normal pistol. Yeah.

You don't got to give me a whole stat sheet spread of like, oh, take this off. Customize, here's this. That came from, unfortunately, the game that started that shit was Modern Warfare 2. The first game that really started the whole, like, oh, this does all this different stuff. And, like, look at that. And this is like, we don't need that. I just, you shouldn't ever be in a situation where, like, you can have a, default sniper rifle and then

soup up, put a scope on a pistol and up the damage on a pistol to the point where it's basically the same thing. Like, weapons have roles, and that's kind of like why Leopardet is so good and why a lot of other sandbox driven FPS is so good. And why I think this is probably going to be good too. I don't think they've talked about

RPG mechanics exactly, but I hope if they're in there, they're minimal as possible. Back for Blood was cool. Looking forward to that. What's next? What else? Well, we could talk about Nintendo since they went most recently Nintendo and Xbox last.

Well, they did good. That is true. So what's, that is true. Yeah, what's the worst? Let me look up. Man, I'm trying to remember like what the worst shit. I feel like we blocked so much shit out

because we were like, oh, that's stupid. Well, I'll go to the score page. I'll go to gaming real quick. I'm trying to like really, I feel like nothing was, nothing outside of what we already just talked about was really mad.

Particularly bad. It was just that thing, were either like kind of uninteresting or you know fine oh i'll voice one of my own personal um our gripes because i've been talking about it for the last like two weeks but there was no information about balders gate three from malarian studios and that really really really bothered me because i want some sort of information for that game we told you you weren't going to get it i told you i was so upset because we have one friend who's like properly involved in that business and he was like he was supposed to be there actually and he was like

He was like, I don't think there's going to be anything, man. And I was like, just let me have faith. And there was nothing. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. I'd never owned a vintage camera before. There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary in a world where everything lives on our phones.

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and pass along things you no longer need so they can become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your

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Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dek or Celtic Bank. On-Dak does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. So for all my D&D fans out there, my Larian studio fans, we got a little bit longer before we get the game. but just keep keep it in your prayers we will play balder's gate soon yeah soon well don't let me

don't say that that makes me sad square enix went they showed like 20 minutes of guardians of the galaxy which i just didn't give a shit about i don't know how you felt about that did you even see that i didn't really see it um i didn't see it uh my friend said it looks cool i hope it's actually a game and not just half a game like Avengers was. It's a single player. It's a, so it's a single player game. You play a Star Lord. You command the other Guardians.

So it's like, uh, Tor about tactics, I guess. So, it looks like God of War, except like, your Star Lord and Square is Atreus and, or Square is like, you know,

I was going to say, Dricks from fucking Ozzy and Dricks. DRAX. And like, you know, you can summon your, you're, it looks, I don't really understand it. It looks a little janky. It looks like a Marvel game.

Like it looks fine. There's nothing bad about it necessarily. And there's like some telltale elements to it too where like there are conversations that you can choose different pads on. And then like it'll say like, you know, Rocket will remember this or whatever the fuck. Rocket will remember that you shot him. Yeah, something like that. Like it looks interesting. I just, I don't think I needed 20 minutes on it because then they immediately went to do another Marvel thing that I can't.

even fucking remember. Okay. And then... Is that about it? That's pretty much it from everybody that isn't the main two. Sony didn't go, obviously. Well, they went in a weird way where they were like, hey, here's Death Stranding Directors Cut and that had like a weird Metal Gear Solid reference that...

I'm pretty sure... I'm pretty sure that's like a Telegraph. I'm pretty sure that... I think it's a Telegraph to a Metal Gear Solid remake. They've been... talking about that for a while. So, I don't know. But that's really it.

I'll let you handle Xbox, and I'll do Nintendo. Yeah. So I thought Microsoft had a pretty good show. They started with Starfield, which, you know, is a game that people care about. Like, look, I like to talk shit on Bethesda a lot, like, especially for Fault 76, which I think outside of the map design of it is a complete fucking disaster. K.L. loves that. What?

Well, Cal, I shouldn't say that. Cale hated it at first, but he's played a lot of 76. He loves Fallout. You know Cale. Like, he's a fucking Fallout nerd. But, so, look, Fallout 76 is janky. Fallout 4 was not the best. But I really like Skyrim.

I really like Fallout 3. I, even, to be honest, I enjoyed myself with Fallout 4, even though it wasn't that great. Same. I had a good time with it. It was like, it felt less like a, RPG, sure, but it felt like, wow, this is a really fun open world single-player FPS, is kind of how I felt about it. And I thought it was pretty good. And Far Harbor is apparently really good also, but I haven't... So it was right as a Tometons, man. It's not bad. I haven't looked into those because I fell

off it by that time. But the point is, it's easy to poke find at Bethesda, but for whatever reason, whenever there's a new Bethesda game, ever since Fall 3, I've just been kind of excited to see whatever the hell it is. And I'm probably going to play it, and I'm probably going to have a really good time with it. It's going to be janky. It's going to be busted. You know, but as long as it's not this, as long as it's not Bethesda being like, hey, this is a multiplayer game. They just can't do it. They can't do multiplayer. They're not built for that. They need to stop. And as long as this is a single player game, I have confidence that it will be at least pretty good and pretty entertaining. that has a date of

I think November 11th 2022 so exactly 11 years after Skyrim exactly that's kind of cool and then I think they had a consistently strong showcase there's not a lot of stuff that I remember specifically but nothing in that show made me

be like ah there was this one thing called party animals that was like that looks like fall guys or whatever the hell I don't really care about that but they showed Oh my God, I'm trying to remember exactly everything. They showed, I know they showed Back for Blood coming to Game Pass. They showed that beautiful fucking FISA game, which I think it looks insane.

I could have gone for not 10 minutes of in-depth gameplay of Forsa. It was a lot. Don't get me wrong, but it is beautiful. It is a beautiful looking game. And there's a lot of cool Game Pass shit coming because Game Pass is fucking crazy good. I don't understand. There were psychonaut information too Psychonauts too, which looks fucking sick.

They did a pretty good job. Halo obviously was the big thing for me. I'm very pleased with everything I'm seeing out of that. Even with Sprint and shit being in there, which obviously... Even with them moving fast and me not liking moving fast movement. Well, they actually move kind of slow, even with Sprint. And, like, you can shoot directly out of Sprint, so it's not like a huge hindrance. Oh, really?

Is it like Destiny where it's like you go right out of Sprint and you can use a weapon? Yeah, it looks even faster than Destiny actually. That's great. So it looks really good. It looks like they're focusing on the sandbox again. It looks like the first proper sequel to Halo 3 that we've ever had. Halo 4 was just this fucking... It was just that it was a sequel to Halo Reach, which it never should have been.

And I'm looking forward to it. I hope there's a beta soon. Somehow they dated Starfield for next year, but they didn't date Halo for this year. Don't know what the fuck's going on with that. Might be delayed. That would be unfortunate. Again, that'd be really bad. I wonder if they could get away with like putting out the campaign or multiplayer first.

If they put the multiplier first, people will shut the fuck up. People will shut up. People will clean shut the fuck up. Probably. I want that story to be good. It looks pretty fucking good from what I've seen. But like, you know, we can't tell from how little we've seen. What I am mostly excited for is the back to basic designs of the weapons.

Yeah. That is what made me really happy. Seeing the pistols design is returned back to a very smooth streamline. form of what ones was maybe really happy i was so guys granted five years ago i did not understand true halo design but i've lived with chris for more than half a decade so i have a very uh i have an eye like i can pick out each armor based on a game now which is really sad you know i don't even remember my girlfriend's birthday all the time but i can look at i can look at halar and be like oh that's halo four armor i can tell because there's far too many lines and jagged points this is halo five armor

because everything's so bulky, and I can tell one, two, and three simply by the resolution. So that's sad. They've all got different art, man. But I'm happy with what I've seen. I'm excited to play the beta whenever that comes out. I think they said summer.

So in the next, like, too, I expect by August. Like, there's no way they're going to... I have to sign up for that thing so I can be able to get the beta action. I'm going to do that right. Well, yeah, I'll remind you so you can do it after the show.

But I'm really happy with Halo if anybody was curious. I'm sure there's some people who were. they showed Stalker 2 which looks pretty beautiful as well Microsoft Flight Simulator You know that's a thing that people really like I could there was always too much for me Replaced which I think looks fucking gorgeous

If anybody hasn't seen that game It looks like fucking like pixel art It looks like pixel art Octopath Traveler Steampunk Castlevania Which is like it looks so fucking Because I like the art, the transition of art style into combat Yeah Way cool so I'm excited for that

And then they show fucking, you know, Plague Tale has a sequel. I've heard the first Playtale is really good. I want to play it. I heard it's pretty short, too. But that exists. Red Fall, which is the thing that they ended on. Wasn't super stoked on that because they didn't show any gameplay of it.

It was just like the cinematic teaser. Whatever. I'll be excited when I see gameplay of it. But, you know, it's Arcane, so it's probably going to be pretty good. Arcane hasn't made a bad game outside of that fucking Wolfenstein. That was just not ideal. Do maternal upgrade next gen. A bunch of little other things.

But overall, I think they had a pretty good showcase. Nintendo also had a pretty good showcase, I thought. Some stuff that surprised me, I wasn't expecting fucking a 2D Metroid. That is, that is what got me the happiest. I went breath in a wild too really badly. But as anyone knows me, I am a gigantic Metroidvania fan. So seeing that again is what sent me over the moon. it looks really good.

It looks like it's just more of Sammas's return, just polished up and put on the switch, which is already a good idea. I'm excited for all the new movement apps. It's a lot that goes into it, and I'm really excited. They show it like 20 minutes or 30 minutes of gameplay.

I checked last, which seemed really good. It was like a gameplay demo. They didn't give us any information about when it was coming out. No, like I said, it says October, right? For Metroid?

Yeah. Yeah, I think it was, I'm fairly certain it was, October I'll check October 8th yeah yeah so October so I'm really really excited about that along with that they also talked about Super Mario Party superstars which is pretty much Mario Party but they're bringing back a bunch of old maps from 64 which is one of the crowd favorites yeah putting it into the new game so I enjoy that that's gonna be really cool I'm excited to just play more stuff you know it's not like a

hold on you know it's you know it's crazy I'm I for whatever reason I found myself getting kind excited about what the fuck, WarioWare. Warrior is a classic. Because I, I, I only played one WarioWare game on the, I think it was Warrior Wear touched on the DS. And I fucking loved that game. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay.

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eBay, things people love. OnDec is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDex loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews. OnDec delivers funding you can count on.

Apply in minutes at ondeck.com, Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDec or Celtic Bank. OnDec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. It's so weird. But I have this weird soft spot for Warrior where it's like, ah, I like this. It's dumb. There's no reason they should have made another one of these.

But I'm glad they did it anyway. Advance Wars, too. Advance Wars. Yeah, Advanced War was one and two. I thought that was kind of cool. Joe's always talking about that game. I never got into it. But if that was like, oh my God, the smash reveal of Kazuya was insane.

The fighting game community was like, yay. And I was like, oh, I know who that is. That guy's really cool. And a lot of the smashers were like, that's not a big tit anime, girl. What are you doing? Yeah. It's like, well, the smash community, the worst community in video games probably. So a Super Monkey Ball.

I never played those games. What? I never played those games. The Super Monkey Ball. I never had a... The last Nintendo... So here's what it is. The...

I went from the NES... As far as like Nintendo consoles go, I went from the NES to the Wii to the Switch. I never owned a GameCube. I never owned a Wii U. I never owned an SNS or 64. I had a 64 until like...

I bought a 64 in like 2012 to play shit. But, you know, I didn't... I just never got it into the... these games. I know what they are though because I've seen there was this Xbox Live arcade game that I played all the time that was basically this. It was like a Marbleast Ultra which by the way was awesome and I would love for that to be backwards compatible somehow. Like I would play the shit out of Marvel Blast Ultra. It was so frustrating and good.

But yeah, new Monkey Ball. Dragon Ball Caccarat is coming also like if that's exciting to People. Mishama Tensei 5 is a really big thing. People are excited for. Yeah. I'm kind of over my JRP phase, but Shima Gama Tensei is the original parent series to Persona. So if you like those kinds of like kind of darker, gloomy, you know, sort of Japanese mythology games, you probably like that. They got Dangan Rompah is another very much so with JRP.

Colin. Colin loves Dengen Rompah. Colin Mori likes Dangan Rampa? He loves Dangan Rampa. What? Can't stop talking about it. Every time I come over his house, he goes. Chris, you got to play Dengarava, man.

You got to play Dengrova, man. And then he tells me something about Sony Liverpool and how they were shut down. We got Fatal Frame made in the Blackwater, too. Fatal Frame, I'm pictures of a remake of Fatal Frame 2 or 1. So it's a remake of something. See, I liked Fatal Frame, but I don't know if I liked this one.

I think something about this one was weird because Made in Blackwater, I think, is like the worst Fatal Frame game, so it's weird that they're, it's weird that they're like remastering. Because I remember playing Fatal Frame on the GameCube. I played it. I was the only one ever played. I played it on PS3 with backwards compatibility. So, like, I don't know.

You probably played the same one. We might have. I played two, I think. Yeah, same. So I don't remember if this is good or not, but it's Fatal Frame. You know, it's a unique kind of game for a certain kind of group. So that's thing. There's a cloud version of fucking Guardians of the Galaxy.

coming to Switch, which weird. Cloud? Yeah, so this is actually, like, real. Like, so they've been, for games that are just too powerful for the Switch to run, they've been finding ways for Nintendo to run them off of servers. From, like, the...

So, like, basically, like, there's a cloud version of control that you can buy on the Switch. Now, like, right now, like, it's been out for a while. I don't know how it runs, because I'm sure it depends on Internet and all this all this weird shit. But that's one way that I, I guess the switch is going to try and keep up by like still.

Because the PlayStation 4 doesn't even around control the best. Yeah. So I could imagine playing it on a switch in any capacity. It's probably tough. But yeah, overall, like, you know, nothing crazy. They ended with Breath of the Wild, but not really enough for me to get excited about it personally. It's just, you know, they just showed that it existed. And you get a little bit more details.

It's like, oh, you can go up into the skies of Hyrule, which is, like, neat. I'm sure there'll be, like, some dragon or something that you could fly or, like, some weird shit like that. air traversal but overall excited I'm I think I think Nintendo had a pretty solid showcase yeah it was the the Metroid thing was what put me over the top of this is like oh this is insane I feel like Xbox and Nintendo both came there and played basketball and everybody else was kind of just like yeah everybody else just didn't know what the fuck they were doing I couldn't but it's a pandemic dude fucking gearbox with Randy Pitchford running around like a movie set for the

Borderlands movie like harassing Eli Roth and Kevin Hart and just like it's just and he would he dude he would ask people questions then he would like talk over them as they were answering like he would just talk over like eli roth and shit and it's just like what the fuck are you doing you just look like an asshole uh this randy pitchford is so unlikable more like border dams you know he's just so fucking unlikable man like it's it's wild but you know i think he i think he uh blocked me on twitter really oh my god it's ass i think his at is like duval magic or something? Yeah, yeah, he blocked me.

Oh, well. What a shame. I'm blocked by Randy Pitchford. They did have a Borderlands announcement of Tiny Tina's Wonderland, which looks kind of, you know, looks neat if you're into borderlands. That's a magic one, right? Yeah, it's like Borderlands, but like it's new.

It's like a jumping in point. It's like in a fantasy setting. It's like that could be fun. I could see that being kind of neat. But overall, overall, I'd say Microsoft and Nintendo had the only, real presence there that was of any consequence. No new hardware for the switch, so, you know.

Yeah, very sad, but I'm pretty sure they're going to announce that probably, I don't know, maybe in Christmas time so we can get it in March like the switch. Let's hope because this console needs a power up desperately. But even if it gets it, it's not going to be nearly as powerful as a PS5 or Series X. That's kind of the issue. I'm fine with that, but 60 frames portable is fine for me. That's a perfect place to exist in a portable wear. That would be pretty amazing.

But because 120 is now very much so attainable On both the consoles Like it's not even hard to push that Because that's all I was talking about I'm pretty sure Ratchet can get up to 120 So no no I don't think I don't think it can Not that one

No not Ratchet to 120 I don't know I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure it's it's a max 60 yeah yeah No it is it is because it had a fidelity form That was 60 I think Yeah I think because He was just Dustin, who's somebody who does Secret Symbols with me, he was like, yeah, it's, um, there was like a glitch where it was like registering 120 and it was like fucking with the, what does it call it, the HDR or whatever the fuck?

Because it's not meant to run that way. But Raging and Clank is, by the way, really good. Amazing. Fucking, did you get to the part with the giant robot yet? I mean, yes. Like when you're running the rail, riding the rails around the giant robot? I don't know. that part is that game is visually wild yeah it's super sunny

the fur looks great the voice acting it's just a good game i'm just like oh they just did a good job on this i'm proud of them yeah and somni ex killing it and they just put out miles marales too like it's fucking that's true mosmeralus was fucking on the ps5 it was a treat i played on the ps4 and it was like good but the ps5 it was like out of this world it's getting to a point where like i'm trying to like look at games that i used to play and i'm like how the fuck did I stomach this? Like, how did I stomach 30 frames per second ever? It's jarring, bro.

Dude, because I even tried it on Ratchet and Clank where I was like, oh, let me see what Fidelity mode is like, you know? And when you pause it, yeah, it looks fucking gorgeous. Like, unreal how good it looks. But it feels like shit to play. I can't do that, dude. I noticed that first when Destiny switched 1 to 60, and then I went back into the plate on PS4, and I was like, this is.

horrendous. Yeah, playing Destiny on PC versus PS4 is like, it's insane. I couldn't go back. It was like, you remember when I was just like, I can't play with you. I can't,

I can't do it. It's so fucking bad, man. Like, I don't know how people, I, you're stronger than me, my friend. I would rather just play the game

and have it look like a PS1 game than, then play it at that fucking frame rate, man, like sincerely. I can't do 30 frames anymore. And that's what bothers me about Nintendo.

like the whole they had the uh the ancient gods uh thing and i was like oh cool i love doom eternal i beat it like a like a few months ago and i even beat like most of the dc and i was like oh i can't imagine not playing this on at least a computer because like i played it on pc and on it looks wild even better than it does on consoles so like playing it on a switch just looks this seems painful to me. Wait, wait, what are you talking about? Playing Doom not on a computer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doom on the Switch is the worst

version, without a doubt. Like, it's, it's like playing Witch, it's like playing Witcher 3 on a fucking switch. It's just like, don't do that. Like, you might as well just, you might as well just not play that, you know? Use your Switch for, like, is Tetris Effect on Switch? Is it? It should be. I feel like it should be. Just play that.

That's a perfect switch game, actually. Play Tetris, yeah, play Tetris Effect, because that game is fucking perfect. Anyway, It's pretty much all we had to say for E3. Like, overall, I would say it was kind of terrible. Yo, it's not on a Switch. Is it really not?

That's such a waste. That's a perfect Switch game. It is a perfect Switch game. Oh, well. This game could make the Switch a better console, actually, if it was on there. Tetris Effect is so good. Like, I remember you were, you would like, were you playing Tetris, and now you actually fucking play it. I love that game.

I play it more than you do probably now. Yeah, it's good. It's a fucking great game. fucking good. But I think that's all we have to say about E3 is, in my opinion, I think it was just kind of like overall kind of bland, even if the show case, the showings from the two big ones were pretty satisfactory, I thought, and pretty good. And, you know, there's a lot of shit to look forward to over, oh, I didn't even talk about like the outer worlds too got confirmed and shit like that. It's like, there's a lot of shit to look forward to, I think. But overall,

I feel like usually everybody comes with at least one thing that's worth paying. attention to you know take two with red dead and and fucking you know uh microsoft with fucking hey here's avowed or like hey here's you know um Nintendo with Metroid Prime or whatever the fuck like usually there's something with everybody but this time it just really felt like it was just Microsoft and Nintendo that had anything worth showing and fucking everybody else just went there with like shit in their pants and just expected I got scared I got really scared because they brought, what's his name out? The guy that created Zelda.

And they talked about the game and watch. And I was like, they better fucking not do it again. That was so stupid. They would not do that again. And I was like, and it was like, oh, also, here's some news. And I was like, thank God. If they would have just not said anything about Zelda, I'm like, yo, they're actually insane. I wonder if that game's going to come out in 2022 because it's like.

Breath of a while? Yeah. It said 2022 for my mistaken. I mean, you know, got a word said 2021. you know so like i mean everything is and you know how dude how long did fucking kingdom hearts three get delayed like it's fucking hilarious like every that was the the final fantasy fucking what you call it for seven also yeah but but dude oh my god i fucking i i hate kingdom hearts specifically because it was the bane of my existence every year for every e3 because i was like

i i've never been like um like a huge fanboy of a console like i have Like, I have everything and I play on everything. But I was definitely more of an Xbox kid early on in the generation where, like, that was like where most of the games that I would play was. There was my main account. I didn't really get involved in PlayStation ecosystem until, like, PS4 Pro came out. So, like, you know, I always, like appreciated a lot of what I saw out of Xbox's conferences. And then every year, I would have people over and some of them would be Sony kids. And they would be like, oh, they showed Kingdom.

Hearts so they won. And they showed Kingdom Hearts every fucking year for like five years. And it was so irritating. Just like but they showed Kingdom Hearts again. It's like that was way better than Sunset Overdrive. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Again? They're dangling this fucking carrot in front of you. I remember those years. I remember that. I remember the last one we had in like 2013 or 14. 14, I think. And you were like, what are you fucking talking about? about such an overtime looks better.

And then me, it was me, Joe and Elliot, that were like, nah, dude, you're fucking crazy, man. Kingdom Hearts looks so good. Dude, I, and they just, every year, they were like, as long as they show me Kingdom Hearts, I'm happy. And it's like, Jesus, you poor people. It was really bad, bro.

You just whipped into this dependency on, like, seeing Kingdom. And then you got it, and it was fucking just okay at best. Kingdom Hearts 3, Kingdom Hearts 3, made me grow up as a person of how bad it was. It stole the youth from inside of me how bad it was. Like after, because I played that game right after I played Red Dead too. And that's what did it for me. I played Red Dead too.

And I was like, okay, no much, let me play this. And I played it. And I was like, yo, this game sucks. That's a jarring switch also. This game is really bad. Yeah. And then I tried to play Kingdom Hearts 1 again. And I played that while I played Divinity.

And I was like, whoa, this game sucks. That's a rough moment. Are they all just bad? That's a sad moment of realization. Like, I remember thinking, like, when I was a kid, I remember thinking like, whoa, Duke Nukem, Land of the Babes is pretty fun. And then I played it like 15 years later. And I was like, this, I can't believe I had as much fun. with this as I had.

Where did you have that fun? Like, where was all this at? Like, where was this, this joy and happiness at? Because, like, I can't find it.

I can't find it here. Like, it's not, it's nowhere to be seen. Like, what's going on? It's, it is amusing.

I'll give it that. But, like, I was having unironic fun, like with it. I was like, this is great. Who needs metal arms a glitch in the system

when I have this? By the way, that's a great game that I, I miss very dearly. It was just like, Kingdom art is so good. Like, this is the best storytelling other.

And then you listen to the first, like, six minutes of dialogue in Divinity. You're like, this can't be the same world. Yeah. This can't be the same. One thing I will say, I kind of wish they would come out with, like, a GameCube, you know what I mean? Like, a GameCube virtual console. Like, because there's a lot of shit that I would love to play on the game. Like, I just said Metal Arms.

But, like, that's a game like I fucking... This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. Check out this special moment we did on our show, presented by eBay. There's a different kind of care that comes with letting something meaningful go, especially when it has a story attached to it. When you pass something on, you want to know it's being handled with respect. I took part in my first ever giant charity sale, and I was able to auction several items for,

my personal closet on eBay. Some of them were truly one of a kind pieces connected to specific moments, TV sets, or from personal collections. One of the things I loved the most about doing this with eBay is there was a way for everyone to shop. Sure, people who wanted a pair of my jeans could get them, but people who might be a different size than me could buy accessories. If you're a size eight, you're lucky, because that's my shoe size. They could do purses, jewelry, all sorts of things. Some people needed winterwear, some people wanted summer dresses. It wound up being so much fun. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps. On Deck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands. of five-star trust pilot reviews. OnDec delivers funding you can count on.

Apply in minutes at on-deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. I don't even remember if I love it, you know, but like because I borrowed my GameCube from like an uncle of mine. And that was one of the games I played.

And I remember like really liking it. And I've never been able to find it again. They never re-release it or anything. And I remember having a good time with that. I would like to see it again. but I would say that the GameCube and a Game Boy advance are such untapped wealths of like consistently like the GameCube is very Japanese like I don't know what the fuck is this. The sky's roaring outside of our fucking apartment. Yeah.

But the GameCube and a Game Boy had so many like particularly the GameCube had a lot of like very J like Japanese oriented video games that were like were really cool and be very cool to have over into American like ecosystem. But the Game Boy Advance had like consistently like amazing video games that we just we should just have. Yeah, it's a shame. So we need, like I we should just complain at them until we get it. But the thing is that we complain about online and they still haven't even thought about changing that yet. Yeah, they're never going to do it. So because like in Japan, the online system, online works well over in Japan. Like it's proper.

So they don't need it over there. But for us, we really fucking need it. It's insane. Because it got to the point that me and Bent, we literally are going to download a program on our computers so we can just play Smash Ultimate VR computers. Instead of the online thing proper. Yeah. Well, you bought the game already, so you're not stealing. Yeah.

So it's... Yeah. I can't disagree with that. It's pretty fucking crazy. Nintendo. I want you guys. the win and you released Metroid and that gave me faith that restored my faith in the force it was like when oh it's like when it's like when han started believing in the force he was like

oh shit maybe this has something to it it did that for me but i just need you guys to listen a little more to us i'm gonna say something it might be controversial some people listening and they can tell me if it is uh that 2d metroid looks cool but i i i i i I don't believe for a second that Metroid Prime 4 isn't going to disappoint people. I don't think that Nintendo can make a better FPS than Id than Bungee. Fuck, even Halo Infinite looks like it's probably going to be pretty fucking good. So, like, I just, my confidence in their ability to break new ground in the FPS space, while they're sharing a stage with like

really seasoned champions of that genre who have more or less defined it like Bungy is killing like but dude Destiny 2 still plays fucking beautifully like still like a dream like a fucking dream like just moving around like it's a 2017 game it looks good still it plays good still

like this is fucking industry leading shit and now like you know id also like came back into the forefront the fucking fathers of first person shooters came back and somehow made something amazing twice uh i can't imagine metro prime even coming close to being even half as good as like doom eternal like i can't imagine it metro my thing about metro is that i played the metro games when i was little i played prime one two i think it was up to four was up to four was up to three i don't remember if it's three or four but I remember playing both those games all most of those games and I was like

these are really cool games but they are so like they're so strange for the like even for the time they were like strange video games so I think in all fairness like I think it got delayed because they were like this is not going to be a good enough game to really put out to the market right now they have to pay to their strengths but I don't know if they have the strength for that game that's why I'm more happy about the two-d-d- Metroid because that's the games I play. I don't go to Nintendo for shooting. I go to Nintendo for

platforming or fun party games or like smash or something. So we'll just see. We'll see what happens. You know, the first well I guess I did play Super Metroid like a long, long, long, long time ago at like my cousin's house or whatever. But the first and only game that I owned

that was a Metroid game was Metroid Prime Hunters on the Nintendo DM. which it launched with the DS or it launched with like a demo I know that because that's what I had it was like oh man Ventroid Prime like this looks kind of cool looks like Halo kind of and I was playing it and I was like

okay this is a game that a lot of people like you know it's got a 9 out of 10 on IGN 4.6 out of 5 on Hebei I didn't know they had that but 4.1 out of 5 on GameStop really people love that game. I thought it was just fucking garbage. And maybe it's just, I wasn't used to FPSs on fucking the DS,

which are inherently just not going to be as good as like a console or like a PC. But that was a rough one. So, I don't know, my faith in Metroid Prime in general is like, I'm glad they're making a new one, but this, like, Metroid Dread looks way cooler to me. Dread looks like a fucking bob. Looks like a proper game. And the aspect of you being chased, because if you guys have played Fusion or other, is it Fusion or?

I don't know. It might be Fusion. Where you're running away from Dark Samis the whole game, it's such a, it's such an insane feeling in the encounters. They're like, oh, I'm claustrophobic. It's like a Resident Evil-esque. Yeah, yeah. It's being, like, trapped. So I like the idea.

I think Dred's going to be. Dred's where I'm really excited for it. Yeah. Other than Breath of the Wild, obviously. I'm really, really looking forward to Dred. I agree. Anyway, we've talked about it quite a bit. We're an hour 30 in.

Let's get into some questions. We can breeze through some of these pretty quick. James Passmore. James Passmore wrote, and he says, Hello, Cunts, I am writing because I hear you guys trash the Call of Duty series relentlessly all the time on your podcast. This disappoints me greatly because I never heard you talk about the zombies mode. And in a previous episode, you talked about how horrid survival modes are awesome. Are you aware Call of Duty had such a mode?

So, yes. I am deeply aware Are you aware Call of Duty has a zombie mode? Like what? I look I understand that Call of Duty has a zombie mode

I remember playing it when people wanted me to jump on with them and I would play it and I just didn't like it I didn't like the whole like I didn't like it zombies?

I was well yeah well you have to understand I was playing like around the time zombies came out this was probably 2009 2008 2009

I think. I'm fairly certain. I could be wrong, but I have... No, 2009, 2008, yeah. Maybe even seven. It was World at War, so... That was the first one. Call of Duty, World at War.

Release date. Release date, come on. Seven. Yeah. November 8th, November 11th, 2008. Oh, eight? Yeah, because 2007, I remember was Call of Duty 4, because Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 were, like,

the biggest things at the time that they came out. And I remember I would always like switch between him. But yeah, the next year, 2008 was World at War. And 2008 was also the year that a little game came out. Don't know if you know this. By the name of Left for Dead. Left for Dead came out literally six days later. And there was just no fucking contest.

Like, I couldn't, if people were like, you want to play a zombie game and it wasn't left for dead, I didn't understand what the fucking point was. Like, you're just going to sit in like this weird basement in a Call of Duty map and you're going to like do this weird Minecraft shit where you're going to like, oh, I got to fix the windows so they don't come in here. And there's like a little crate with like a magic box where you randomize weapon. It just felt so wacky and weird. I didn't like it. Like that all? I didn't like. And also, just in general, I just don't like the way the Call Duty feels as an FPS.

I don't like... It feels hollow, yes. Shooting zombies in the head and them not dying instantly just felt wrong to me. Like, even just everything from, like, the way that zombies reacted to bullet impacts felt wrong. Like, it all just didn't feel right, whereas, like, Leffordead was doing all the shit that was right. Like, you were, like, moving through a level, and you got to play as the zombies. and, you know, it was just so much more interesting to me than defending a basement. Like, I like Horde mode, and I think, I think Gears of War II did Horde mode the best.

Like, even Firefight in ODST, which, like, I enjoy, you know, it's not nearly as good as Gears of War's Horde mode. Gears 2, Gears 2 is something special. That's a special kind of horde mode. Like, that was the pinnacle. Like, that's how you know what a good horde mode is. but I liked Black Ops too Zombie Mort a lot

When you played as George You fought against Georgia or Mero But he had like the light And he was like frozen in the lake Like I really liked that one I didn't like World of War that much I liked the one obviousness Where everyone played Kinder

Or King or Tateon or whatever it is Yeah something Or whatever was Something like that But everyone played us So I like those games But I have to admit that I also was more of a fan

Of Left or Dead Because of just The silliness of that game. They inherit like kind of charm of that game. I also. This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. Check out this special moment we did on our show presented by eBay. When I was living in Chicago, I took part in my first ever giant charity sale and I was able to auction several items from my personal closet on eBay. They were items that marked huge moments in my life and in my career and though I was ready to pass them along, I also wanted to make sure they were going to

someone who would love them. One of the things I loved them most about doing this with eBay is there was a way for everyone to shop. It wound up being so much fun to see where each and every item was going, where it was going to be loved. And in passing items along like that, authenticity really matters to the person who's getting them. That's why I love eBay's authenticity guarantee. They weren't just listing my items. They were verifying them, making sure something was genuinely from where it claimed to be, in this case, my closet. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment,

expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, On Dex loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. rated A plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews On-Dec delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at on-deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota

all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Similar to you, I don't like how Call the Duty feels. It feels like I'm shooting bullets at the image of a zombie and sometimes the zombie's image gets hurt opposed to me literally riddling something with bullets. I always feels empty to me. Yeah. But we have played them.

I do enjoy zombies. I remember when I learned how to actually like trails on, like you finally learn how to trail zombies, you can like keep looping around and not really doing anything and shooting a few of them. Like I remember when I learned that and I was like, oh shit, this is so fucking cool. I can actually play this game.

And then we started making it to like actually higher levels. But then like the zombies just start getting like the fact that it's just you die. Like that's the point of the game. Kind of disillusioned me. and I was like, I don't really want to play this anymore. But zombies isn't bad, dude. We respect zombies for what it is. We just don't like Call of Duty that much.

Zombies, I think, is objectively the best thing in Call of Duty as far as, like, quality. What about War Zone? Well, I guess people like that, too. I honestly haven't played it. I'm not into Battle Royale in general, so, like, I'm probably not going to. But I've heard that that's pretty good as well. As far as Battle Royals, I think Apex is the one that I enjoy the most. It just feels like the most like a video game to me.

But, and it also, by the way, it also has a proper arena mode, so it's not just fucking... Oh, it does? Yeah, they added, I've been meaning to, I should do this, actually. I might do it on stream today, but... I'll play with if you play. Maybe not today, but, like, tomorrow we should do it. I'll, yeah, maybe. Because they added, like, a proper, like, team-based, like, 4V4 style, or, like, I don't know if it's 4V4, but, like, that general style, like, team death match, whatever the fuck.

Yeah. They added an arena mode to it, which is good, because that means, you know, my biggest frustration. with a lot of battle royals is that like oh this plays kind of well i wish i didn't have to like play it in this weird like permadeath way where like everything's randomized and some games are just completely useless and some games i win and some games are just like really unfun and i don't get to actually engage with the combat at all um so yeah i'm probably going to check that out but yeah no i'm aware of zombies it's fine i it's just you know with lefford dead and even as far as far as far as like horde mode goes like i don't know firefight and and hoard mode from gears too

even stuff like recently like dude dying light like there's just there's there's too many good zombie games now for me to just default to uh into zombies if i just don't like the way call duty feels but thanks for thanks for writing in we we appreciate you uh let's see let's see let's see let's see this is fucking what nicky zingie he wrote in, Greetings my windows into the strange mind of men. I have a gender specific question for you. Question. Is it normal for guys to send pictures and videos of themselves pissing and defecating to one another?

My boyfriend told me his friend sent them a picture of a long turd he made, and my response naturally was, what the actual fuck? And he told me that it's totally normal, just like comparing sizes. which is also still kind of weird to me. I have bad news. This is not normal even slightly. I have never once... Are you going to disagree? I've had male friends my whole life,

and I've never sent them pictures of me shitting. You know what's crazy? I had a conversation at one of my friends, where they were like, you haven't shown you. You haven't seen your roommate's dicks, and I was like, no. Is that weird? Like, yeah, that's so fucking strange.

And I'm like, no, it's not. Like, what? Why would I just show my friend my dick? That's just, that's actually harassing him. And he was just like, no, dude, that's his regular friendship, bro. And I'm like, that's fucking baffling to hear. That's like assault. That's really bizarre.

People are strange, dude. I can't even comprehend how that's just, like, do you not have. doors do you just not like I just can't even imagine a scenario where I would even see something like that because we all we all have rooms that's so disrespectful and

aggressive and rude it's just weird do that Ziggy your boyfriend's a little different his group's a little different yeah that's a fucking I that's not normal you know I don't know if it's I don't know if I would go far as to say it's

like unhealthy or anything, but it's strange. It's strange. It's strange. I have never seen any of my friends naked, I don't think, ever. No. Well, wait, I saw Jalen, but my glasses were off. So even that didn't even, like, I didn't even see him. There was one time where I got pants on my girlfriend and pushed over the couch and

Jaylon walked in and he ran off of me. I never seen somebody run that fast. He was just down the hallway instantly. So I didn't like, I feel like he saw was going. He's like, I shouldn't be here. is not doesn't involve me but other than that like that's it like i've never just gonna like run in your room pull my pants and i'll show you my genitals and then run out like that's just it's weird it's strange it's bizarre especially like photograph like like why would you send i don't dude when i

was making the video about uh about um edp i was just like the whole thing that was strange about that i mean aside from everything was the fact that he he took a picture of his own shit and sent it to anybody, like the fact that he would do that to a person at all, let alone a child, or like somebody, or less, let alone somebody he thought was a child anyway. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. I'd never owned a vintage camera before. There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary in a world where everything lives on our phones. But I wanted to change that. So I started the hunt for a point and shoot camera. When I finally found the perfect one on,

on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself, I left it out on a table. Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment. There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it. The moment became real right away. It was about choosing something. Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it.

Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge, on shelves tucked into books. each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned. That's what I appreciate about eBay. It's a place where you can find things that bring people together and pass along things you no longer need so they can become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds.

Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your, team or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDex loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A Plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews, OnDec delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at on deck.com.

Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDec or Celtic Bank. OnDec does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. I just, it's just such a weird thing to do. Like, that's bizarre, Nikki. And you should probably, you know, just keep an eye on them. Yeah. You know, keep an eye on his friends especially. Like, that's very bizarre.

I'm trying to rope him into something strange. You got to be aware. That's some fucking borderline cult shit. Argan Ether wrote it and he says, howdy, two-thirds Hispanic, two-thirds black, and two-thirds midget. What's a piece of media new or old that you feel gets way too much praise or hype beyond the obvious ones like Kingdom Hearts and Overwatch? Alternatively, what's some media that you feel deserves way more attention?

could use this as an opportunity to shout out some things you enjoy overhyte Final Fantasy 7 Overhyte To the fucking moon I like Final Fantasy 7

Are you serious? Listen, listen Let me explain Let me explain Okay let me explain All right I love Final Fantasy 7 In context to everything

That comes from that series Including Crisis Core Which makes that game franchise I actually have like a heart to me and then 7 proper I liked a lot, you know, when I was younger. Derr de Serbris, pretty bad. I like Advent Children a lot.

It's the first movie I saw and that kind of like 3D, C.G. style, so I like that a lot. Now, the remake, Final Fantasy 7 remake is fantastic. I think that's a great game. But I think Final Fantasy in its own is pretty overhyped. So are you talking about Final Fantasy or just Final Fantasy 7? I'm talking about 7. That's crazy.

I love Seven. I love Seven for a lot of what it is, you know. But before I played Crisis Core, I was like, I like this, but I don't exactly know why I like this. And then I played Crisis Core, and I was like, oh, I know why I like Seferoth, why I like Zach, why Cloud is cool, what his sword means. And it gave so much context to that story that was just not there at first. I guess. I don't have any of that context. And I like Final Fantasy Seven quite a bit.

Did you play all of seven? Because seven, it gets pretty convoluted in points. Well, I mean, I'm sure it does. Very, very convoluted. And I was like, I don't understand what. I was like, it was getting to him, but this is just stupid. Like, what is going on? Why is Cloud doing this?

Yeah. I don't know. These people drag race down our street. I don't know what the fuck is going on. But one right in front of our windows, too, which is the worst. I don't know. Like, as somebody who doesn't like Final Fantasy at all, you know, I have very little affinity for Final Fantasy. I think it's really annoying.

to be completely fair. That game is great. Like, just the, the art of it and the sound design of it and just the... I think it's a Star Wars situation where a lot of heavy lifting is done by pure audio-sensory design of a property. Like, Star Wars, without that iconic sound design and without that art design is probably just really bland and boring but then you have like

you know the the twin sunsets theme and then you have like the the look of Luke's lightsaber and the look of the droids and it's all like very specific and unlike anything and it's the reason why that persists and I think Final Fantasy 7 is a similar thing where it's like there's nowhere you

you see Midgar and you're like that's Midgar you know and you hear that music and it's like that's Final Fantasy 7 like I know intrinsically what Final Fantasy 7 music sounds like even though I like wasn't exposed to it as a child like at all like it's just objectively good um I I agree with all that but for me as a fan of it um I think that it's I can look past like the design of respect all the design all like the extra like more or less developmental things that go into the game I didn't see that when I was younger I was like this

looks cool you know I like the look of this you know but I don't understand why anything's happening right And I was just like, I don't get this. And then I absorbed more content from the game. And I was like, oh, this is really cool. But people like praise it so. People praise Base 7 so much. Oh, it's a good game, which is good characters.

And the characters are all kind of, they don't really mean anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what is. Like Cloud goes crazy so often. It's like, why is he doing that? Cloud to clone of Sephora. It's like, what are you even talking about? And then it gives you context to all of the stuff that happened throughout the whole entire series,

which I really appreciate. So I like the whole entire piece of seven Opposed to this like the first base game Like that's fine Yeah I don't know I'm trying to think of it's over popular Oh Pokemon

Uh Yeah Pokemon For what it is now, yes Yes Pokemon look I've been there I watched the show when I was a kid

Had a great time You know played those games on Game Boy Game Boy color I played like yellow blue red gold and silver and then I stopped because I saw the Game Boy Advance come out and I was like excited. It's like, oh, a new Pokemon game. And then I saw a friend of mine got it before I did because everybody got their games before

I did because I had no fucking money. And I would see them playing it. And I remember thinking like that looks exactly like the thing I've been playing this entire fucking time. And it was like a new machine too. So I was like expecting like some kind of jump and it wasn't really that much of a jump. And I was just like, all right. Right, well, I don't think I care about this anymore.

And the older I got, the more detached I came, I became from that series to the point where, like, I watch that show now, I don't think it's a good show. I don't think it's a good show at all. I don't think those games are even all that good, to be completely frank. And even the newer ones, which we've, dude, we've seen every other Nintendo property evolve. and I would argue that, yeah, Mario Odyssey isn't really that good. I think it's pretty good. And I think there is a general bias towards Nintendo

because they're so old, and they have, like, the most nostalgia. I think Odyssey's pretty great. I think Odyssey is good. I don't think it's even close to 64 or Galaxy or even Sunshine. I really don't even think they're even close. Sunshine is so bad, bro.

Sunshine's not bad. you're crazy. Sunshine is very pretty. It's good music. But it does, bro, as soon as you use that flood mechanic and you realize how dog shit it is, you'll take that back. I recently played, I recently finished Sunshine. Me too. That shit is dog shit.

It is, I hate sunshine. Me too. I think sunshine, I like sunshine more than Galaxy. But the fucking. Galaxy 2 is the one that's crazy. So yeah, I respect that. It's more just like the whole walk. around planets and I don't know I just I'm not really into it I think it's kind of

annoying but I don't know man just something about in what I'm saying is like Nintendo gets a bump in bias and I think that's objectively true even if those games are as good as you think they are it's like they're still like always rated like absurdly high and it's like like Breath of the Wild is great I like Breath of the Wild is great. I like Breath of the Wild a lot. But Breath of the Wild is bordering on being a tech demo. Like, it's, there's very little to that game

until the end, which is where I think the game is. But like, before then, it's just like you're wandering and there's like, there's like maybe a handful of enemy types that repeat all over the place. And it's a lot of barren nothingness. And it's a lot of like, hey, here's physics that's fun to play with. And I love physics games. I love that shit. But I don't know Like as a Zelda game It's a game about exploration

It's like you explore the game You know It's opposed to most of the other open world Zelda games like relatively You would say like Akrona at Time Or Or what's the other one Amidris mask right

The way you would inherit those Attack those world is you would go around the world Right And every place you would go there'd be this Particular thing you have to get done In that part of the world You know Right

Oppose to Breath of the Wild You go throughout the world and you experience the fact that these parts of the world are straight up different, where there's snow and there's like you got to heat yourself up, or there's places that have thunderstorms, stuff like that. So I think Breath of the Wild, I agree with you to a certain degree. It is more of a tech demo in showing you what this Zelda game will become. So I agree with you on that.

You're right there. But I think Breath of the Wild shines in just exploration. You just explore that world and you see how different everywhere it is. The shrines are kind of bare bones. Yeah. The beasts are kind of simple, relatively. I mean, the beast is where the game is. Like, the beast and the castle, apparently at the end, that's, like, really well designed.

That's, like, where the game is, and the rest of it is exploration. It's cool, but, like, I don't know. Like, I didn't get the same sense of exploration exploring Breath of the Wild that I did Red Dead when I would, like, come across a cabin, and I would find this fucking crazy shit happening. And, like, I don't know. Like, I think if any other studio made Breath of the Wild exactly as it was, except, like, it wasn't a Zelda game, I don't think it would have scored it as well I think people would have been like

This is fun, this is cool But it probably would have been like An 8 out of 10 Instead of like the 9.5s that it gets I think that's just a Nintendo bump in general But like dude Every other Nintendo property Mario Odyssey

Good game Breath of the Wild Good game Like all these other series Have managed to like keep up at the times And then you play the most recent Pokemon And it's fucking garbage Dude

It's fucking It is noticeably noticeably trash and I don't know just that theme song I'm convinced is the only reason that thing is fucking

as popular is it the Pokemon theme song I think fucking like that was not dude not only is that that like just a really good theme song but it like that was like early internet

virality too you remember Smosh did that fucking Pokemon theme and it like dude they built their imagine building an entire company based on the Pokemon theme and it's not a Pokemon company. That's straight up with Smosh is. Like straight up actually. Insane how strong that fucking theme song is. And I get it. It's persisted. But they have yet to

evolve in any way. It's baby's first JRP. And it's not even a good one because there are plenty of other, you know, easier, lighter JRP's that you could play in place of Pokemon and probably get a far better experience. There's truth to what you're saying. I agree to a certain degree. There's true. Pokemon has just been the same thing for the last like 20 plus years. And I'm, um, dude, I don't know when the last, I don't know when the last Digimon game was, but I'm certain it was better than whatever Pokemon game was out at the time. Like, I, I am sure of it. Like, I have no idea what that game even fucking is. What is it? Like, I think they make like cyber sleuth or something. Like, Digimon's Cyber Sleuth, I think is like a thing. Let me see.

Hold on. Let me see what the, what the rating is on that. Digimon Cyber Sleuth. Digimon story did you on story cyber sleuth 9 out of 10 9 out of 10 no way Look at this 9 out of 10 on Steam so like players and then like fucking game stop it's got a 4.7 out of 5 What is this game I'm not even fucking kidding I swear to you Because I wanted that game

Metacritic For a while and no one said I didn't hear anything about it Let's see let's see Metacritic that is more more of a Holy shit Yeah Well, it's got a meta score of 75, but a user score of 8.1. So, like, I wouldn't be surprised if Digimon's story Cyberslooth was a fucking way better game than whatever the last fucking Pokemon was. You're lying to me right now.

What? Yeah, it's apparently a great game. Look at that, huh? I'm going to buy it. It's only $20, too. I'm going to buy that shit. I love Digimon. Me and my friend Paul talk about, dude, there was one time, this funniest shit ever, there was one time me and Donovan were talking.

Right. And he was saying, where were you doing? Oh, where are you up to, man? And I was just like, oh, yeah, I was just crying about the newest Digimon movie. And he was like, are you talking about the one when he did the final Digivolution? And they had the courage in friendship mode. And I was like, yes. And Smokey was just like, you guys both fucking watch Digimon still. And I was like, yeah.

That is concerning. It's good, dude. Me and Paul, the only people on our friend group that like Digimon too. Everybody else makes fun of us. Look, I like Digimon. I just think it's like, you know, it had its time, you know? Yeah. You and most people believe that.

Most adults understand that Digimon goes on eventually. I remember that one movie with the bare naked ladies in them, and that's all I remember. Digimon first movie. Also, I had action figures. I did have, like, Digimon action figures that I thought were fucking cool as hell. I had Flamed Germon. The egg, right? The red egg?

I don't know. I just remember, like, the, final, hold on, like, am I remembering this right? Flamedraman? I had to Flam Jemont toy. That was an egg first, and then you took him out the egg and he'd have his pieces. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Flamesramon toy? It's got to be, yeah, yeah.

It was like he would fold up into an egg and then you could like, you could, you know, take him apart and he would be like, you could put him together and he would be an awesome fucking, dude, I loved Digimon at a time. I thought it was just, I thought it was cooler than Pokemon sincerely. Like, I just thought like it was like, oh man, this fucking badass. Look at these fucking Digivolutions and whatever. But I don't know, man. Yeah, they just get guns straight out.

And they just get guns. I like that mosquito one that was always with, uh, hot, I forget their names. Stingmon. He was green, right? I don't know. It was something like that. He was with Izzy, I think, or whatever, but. Tentamon.

That was my name. Tentamon. That was my boy. I love Digimon. But anyway, let's move on. Fran, Kurohana 10-9-6-9. Apologies if it's hard for me to read. These are an old prescription because I cannot see.

Because the U.S. healthcare system is very cool. He says, hello, trio, a future out-of-context controversies. I'm new to Patreon, and you guys are my main reason for joining. So, fucking, that's pretty badass. Appreciate that a lot. I've been following the angry Chihuahua in a human suit for several years now. I enjoy the three of you together, so fuck it, why not? On that note, my question is something that's been eating away at me since I joined.

Would you consider patrons to be simps? That's a bigger question. That's a macro scale question. I think, look, I don't think so. Like, if you buy a game, are you like a simp for the studio? Like, no. If you pay money to a GoFund me, right? Are you a simp?

If you, like, are we... Because you want to go funding us. Yeah. Let's look at the... What's the official definition for Simp? I'll look it up right now. There's got to be like an urban dictionary. Simps is an internet slang term to describing someone who performs excessive sympathy.

Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl, same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay.

When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose,

a versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch? On-Deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll,

restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment. Get funded quick, quick, and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic bank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. Uh, and attention toward another person, typically someone who doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. So if you're supporting

our show for the, for the show, then I don't think you're a simp. But if there, because there are people, let's face it, there are people who like give money and for whatever reason there's like this weird assumption that we're friends now. I've seen this happen before where it's like, hey, I supported you. We're friends now. We have to have an open line of communication because I've given you money now and that's just how that works. That's, that's simple territory. It's weird the over the over personalization of it sometimes because like I have become friends with quite a few people who have become like been in my chats like that like oh it's like bent and like cancer busts and job like those are my friends now like those are my buds but like some of them it's just a weird level of per like you you gotta be aware of that like though you may donate and subscribe it's like that which i do appreciate our interpersonal relationship isn't the way you may perceive it you got to understand the borderline between that yeah it's always it's always been a strange thing because it's like people that come the concerts it's like like, I've come to a concert,

I'm your friend, we're friends now. And it's like, not exactly friends. It's like, it really is just Stan. You know what I mean? Like, it kind of is the same thing. Like, if you think about, like, the song, Stan, it's basically a simp.

Like, really. In terms are a simp, but yeah. Yeah, but, like, I think, uh, as, look, just understand that, uh, there's a there's a reasonable distance between you know internet people and you and it's not a matter of you know oh i'm a you're a bad person or like uh you don't deserve friends or anything it's literally just we don't know people like we don't know everybody like we can't also there are people that like i've uh there are people that i i will meet recently you know that it's like i don't have the

bandwidth for this. I don't have the I just, I don't have the bandwidth. I can't do it. I can't accept. I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can be, I can be, I can be friendly with anybody. And there, there's people that I am friendly with that I've worked with in the past, but I wouldn't necessarily call them like, oh, that's my friend. If like, I was, so, here's a question. What, would you consider Lily a friend of yours?

I guess, just because she's around all the time. Okay, so you consider her a friend, right? Yeah, because she's around. Okay, so that's a friend of yours But how long did it take for you to consider her a friend? I mean, arguably until you just asked me Okay, so the thing is that for me Like if someone comes into my friend girl

If I meet someone, if I meet someone, I'm instantly friendly to them Yeah And I don't mind increasing the friendship I don't push people away to one of the hang on Be like, oh, let's talk or chat, but like yeah, dude, for sure I'll chat with you, we'll talk because that's how you meet your friends That's how it works but there is a line where like people have too many friends like some people just have too many buddies

it's like the people on facebook with like 6,000 friends and it's like you don't know these people there's no way you cannot you can't maintain a real connective tissue with 6,000 people you just can't do it unless that's literally you're getting paid to do that which no one would fund that uh so like my job is being a friend yeah like no one would that's not a fucking real thing so like you have these, I don't know, like, I typically just like, look, I'm, there are people that I have met that I'm friendly with on the internet, that it's like, like, is Nakey Jakey a friend of mine? I consider, I consider us friendly. We're on good terms. We don't hang out all that often, but like when we talk, it's nice, but like I would feel weird going on like an interview and being like, oh yeah, my

friend Jakey. You know what I mean? Because it's just, I don't know if there's really that rapport, really, uh, as opposed to like people like Paul, who's obviously a friend of ours. And it wouldn't be bizarre of me to say that. Or like, uh, Derek or or Bunty or any number of people, Veronica, uh, Zach, you know. I got to get that. Yeah. And it's just, I don't know. We went kind of off topic, but like, I guess, you know, the main thing is no, you're not a simp as long as you're, mentally stable. You're not as simple. You can simp for a personality, but not the projects in which they create.

If you fund the projects, if you need to the project, the Star Tank project, then I appreciate that or the streams that other than of us do. That is respectable. But I feel like I'm donating because I want to see your feet. I want a picture of them. Yeah, yeah. That's different. That's different.

That's different. And we got a final, final question before we wrap. map things up from Fen Harold. He wrote a new patron, but long-time fan here. My question is this. What is the most absurd or ridiculous, parentheses, or disgusting, dangerous, dumb thing? You've asked someone else to do for you and were surprised and shocked that they actually did it. Ooh, I got to think.

I have, I can, I can, I've told this story before on the podcast. I don't know if I want to get too specific about, because I don't want to tell the same story again, But long story short, in Catholic school, there was this kid who was a few grades younger than me, who I convinced, I somehow convinced this kid that I was Vegeta from an alternate dimension and I could destroy the world at any point in time. And he became kind of like a butler to me. I enslaved this kid because he believed in magic and fucking time streams and alternate realities. And like, you're such a bad person, dude I, look, I didn't think, look, I thought At first I thought he was just joking

Because like, I didn't think he could possibly believe it And then I realized that he did And I was like, oh, well, I'm not gonna waste this This is an experience I'll be He probably thinks about that still He probably thinks about how stupid am I That I believed this Or he might still believe it

But I remember There was this one point where I was like I was like hey Derek that's his real name by the way sorry if I'm out in this kid but I was like hey Derek

I'm feeling mighty vengeful I'm feeling mighty rage rage filled right now and if I if I don't get one of the what are those

ice cream sandwiches with like the cookie dough and like the M&Ms and the thing you remember what I'm talking about somebody somebody in the comments it's like a cookie on top

of ice is like a cookie ice cream saying it's like a cookie right yeah it's like a circular cookie it's like and it's got like m&Ms in the in the thing super delicious super fucking good

but I remember I was like if I don't get one of those right now I think I might destroy the school you know I think that might happen and I really dude I really

I committed to I did it in character too like I was I would like I would like I would look out at the window like really pensively like a fucking villain. And like he fucking. He begged, begged the teacher for like a dollar. I heard him screaming.

I need a dollar. Please. It's for all of us. I need a dollar. And he was a savior. He was literally a little hero. I got to save the world. No one's going to believe me.

Because only I know this. Like I have to do this. You're a. bad person look I it's like how it's like it you know what it felt like this is going to sound real fucked up but it felt like whenever you like throw a ball uh with a dog but like you don't like go of it and then the dog like runs chasing after this like fictional thing that's what it felt like and it was just so fun and he did it like he bet and he got me my sandwich and I was like good good good this we are safe but like I just couldn't believe like I didn't think he would

actually do that. Like I didn't think he would actually find the money. You know how hard is to come across money as a child? You know? Almost impossible it feels like. Yeah. So like that was, that's one thing that comes to mind. That's probably like the most belittling thing I've ever done to

another human being, certainly. What is the most fucked up thing ever? I don't remember being that fucked up. I did really wild shit. Oh my God. So when I lived in Fishkill, one of my friends had an airspace between his house and the other person's house that when it would snow he would slide down the hill then come up to hill and slide down the hill right there was this one time one of my friends was like it it snowed like maybe like a half inch there was nothing there and we're like yo dude you should go down the hill right now and he was like it's not even like i can't even see the snow we're like it's fine my friend got his hose he sprayed down the hill and he was like dude it doesn't really seem like a good eye idea you were like, bro, aren't you cool? Don't you want to do it? So my Asian friend went down the

hill on his like little like one of the like sort of like a lid ones, snow things. The thing ripped open, ripped his pants up his back and scarred his back. And he was like, dude, I'm really hurting. Can I get help? And I was just like, nah, dude, you're good. Just go again. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented.

So I searched for that same vinyl, same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose.

Aversions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. is also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't.

eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, On Dex loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A Plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews, On Deck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at on deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank.

On Deck does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. You told him to go again? Did he go again? No, we fucking helped him. We fucking helped him. We brought him back to his house. And we were like, dude, just don't tell your dad what happened, man. I just don't, don't let anybody know what happened, man.

You're fine. Oh, my God. Long story short, literally we never went down at hill again. It was so many, it was like, it was the most unfinished hill. Because you know the hill by my house, the big one, right, that you would go down on mirror and you would see. It wasn't that one. It was like one that was like an eighth of the size of that just leading into this really fucked up construction area behind my development. And the kid went down and I kid you not the fucking slate.

split his pants split his back was scraped up it was so fucking bad that's so fucked up i'm pretty sure it was just one jagged rock that destroyed everything what damn dude oh my god like dude i got to go home his back was bleeding it was so fucking funny and i was that's messed up yo that was this that was just being a 14 year old in upstate new york like that's all fun is it's fucked up that's a lot that's a lot of process but yeah that sounds about right macro stories so uh yeah i guess that'll be it for today's episode of the snark tank you know uh we're about where we've reached that time so you know if you liked somehow liked what you heard today consider supporting us over at patreon dot com slash the snark tank there's uh merch over at snark tank merch dot com uh still gotta get those

perfectly fine hoodies up keep forgetting also uh there's a good reason for that, by the way. I lost the original PNG, so I've been, like, trying to find ways to, like, get it. Solo episodes. We got to... Oh, yeah. Yeah, my...

Yeah, my... There's a solo episode... Or there will be in the next week a new solo episode question thing so you can give us questions for the Patreon exclusive solo episodes, but yeah, that's some of the housekeeping out of the way. Obviously, over at Patreon.com slash a StarTank.

$1 a month gets you early access to every episode and access to those bonus solo episodes that we're talking about. $5 gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment and you're in for good. And $25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which I will open

Patreon.com and cycle over to the thing. I usually do this ahead of time, but I kind of forgot. So now I'm talking to stall a little bit. There he goes. But 25 producers and... And count me in. Three, two, one.

Racists snake, ten hours of spawn saying Malaboga, Malabosa. Malboja. Oh, you misspelled that, dude. Malboja, relaxing sounds for stress relief, meditation, deep sleep. Derek, can you get me an in with shoe? I'm 25 and single.

A vex simulation gone sexual. Tell him Steve, Dave. Okay? Trying to find that pussy, but I am blind and must locate it by smell. What you know about rolling down in the deep? 7 or Trashbag 7. Otaku Bernal. Is hate, I Sweeney named Tom and Gay Mitha.

That's his name. Oh, my God. Just trying to fuck with me. You thought about that. Just trying to fuck with me. Tuberculized Arthur Morgan. Pimpleton. Pimpoleon?

The Pokemon Pimp Emperor of the Penguins. Ethan Cox is back with a vengeance. Keith Dactyl, Napoleon was 5'6, therefore taller than Chris. Willie Wonka's cum-diddly-umptious bar. Not gay Ben. I'm not gay. No, really, I'm not. Seriously, I swear I'm not, you have to believe me.

The fireball, little Sweeney threw and killed God. White guilt paying his reparations, but not guilty enough to shorten my name. Take my money. John Strickland, Boo Sniggins. Merks 1889. Merks. Merks. The milkman that looks like Chris, a dank magician of chaos.

The other milkman that looks like Chris. No wait, that's just Keith David. Sanguine Cynthia. John McCann, the Irish man, who will spontaneously combust if Halo Infinite is a bad game. I think it'll be fine. I think Halo Infinity's going to be a good game. Whether it'll be a great game is, you know, up in the air. But I think it'll be a good game.

When in doubt, sploge it out. The first church of Keith David. Tom Sweeney's views on the gays do not reflect our views of our, the views of our church. Goops McKenzie, D.E.L. Do. Apa yiff. If Femboy hooter waitress. Sammy and his big titty fishy. The Southern chick that keeps writing the word y'all in front of her comments and questions that you don't read. That is true. I do not read the yalls. Or I censored the yalls out. I can't say y'all. I'm not going to do that. I say y'all. I just, it doesn't work for me. It's not in my vocabulary. You all.

It's not in. You type all of you? Yeah. Or I just won't use y'all. Like, have you ever heard me say y'all? No, actually. It doesn't sound right, does it? Let me say something.

Give me a sentence with y'all in it. And I'll say it. I don't know. Think of something. It's freestyle. Freestyle it. Hey, what are y'all doing? You say you all.

You actually do say you all. Or all of you. Oh my God. Yeah. That's crazy. I just don't do it. Anyway, drunken Doolahan. A dick in the hand is worth two in the ass.

Pree-Raz. Chris Farley, death egg, tiny Asian man, one of the real biological sons of Tom Sweeney. Father, you know what to be true, don't deny me. Please help me. I haven't felt the touch of a woman in over 10 years. Oh, man. Blake 896.

Can't help you. Can help you. The Epic Ashawat, Silly Puddy Eater. YG 400 Spruce Street. What is that? Ew, it was a rapper. He's garbage. Is it really?

Yeah, Bruce Street is the part of his name, but YGF, it's YG4-100. Yeah, he sucks. He's terrible. I thought that was a fucking, I thought there was somebody

docks in somebody, but all right. Ace man, fucking kill me, Keith, David, the 12-year-old boy Lyle Rath butt-pounded on September 8th,

2017. Diego Andres Hernandez. Loading the second page. Hey, boss, I've captured all three Star Trinity. Now I don't have to crave the little bit, to crave the embrace of a human being for a,

have ascended. Ryan Luchesse, thick thighs may save lives, but tomboy abs make my world go round. Sloshy scout, Keith David. God damn it,

the third page is not loading. Come on, hurry up. That's his name. Nice one. Cute femboy with sexy thigh highs. Tom Sweeney, the atrocious alien fucker.

Please check out my podcast called How Do We get here every Thursday. Leroyerer Jankens. Hope you guys like Weaser. Virgil does have drip, and I'll kill Tali out of spite.

Let's calm down. hard hat skydiver hey you you're finally awake you were trying to cross the gaza strip right walked right into that israeli ambush i was born 9-11 and i paid taxes this year get fuck olds uh fuck you chris my name will be as long as i want i pay 25 dollars for this shit sir floyd the breathless alaskan oilfield trash i hate that name i hate sir floyd the breathless that's such a fuck that's i didn't get it at first it's so not okay dude oh my god well it's too late. I'm not editing this episode. Keith David, the arbiter of tea bags. Juan Punchman, Marcus Shorten, Keith David, I blew up a litter of kittens, call it bomb pussy. Papa Nurgle, blend a baby,

shake, fuck you, Paul Joseph Watson, you maladjusted jacket, and he, driving a car into Helen Parr's parachute pussy. Game Controller 25, Dick Vaney and the Puss administration, classic. Murder ascended. Keith David, the sucks that feels Chris's pain, some cool minion, lobotomized Jesus and his 12 downy disciples diddle dogs for doge coin. Haco. I think Chris and Derek would like Unleash the Archers. Try the album Apex. Seven-year-old Phoenix. Moto Zealot. Hey, you're finally awake trying to cross the border, right? Walked it right into that

Imperial Ambush. Same as us. Luigi's eccentric Linguini. Hiroshima Spicy Mushrooms. This is hard to read because I'm running out of ideas, to be honest. Dummy Thubmy Thames. Heartless Rich, aka the Ebony Goblins in the dump of New York City. I give it a 9.5 out of 10. That's a pretty nice cock. J.F.K.'s Mind-blowing. Mane-Blowing

Cherry Pie recipes. I'm a dick suck. I like a dick suck. I like a dick suck. I'll buy you a dick suck. yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy. Keith Ab-Sage, David, badly braved, hugger Derek, the movie theater assistant manager, Ketheerian David, and finally, the final page. Chris Gate my Pergerian hunting ass, deflated left ass cheek, all hands on dick, arrow, sunny chance,

Melfus One, killed Dr. Drew, and let me edit Wikipedia, I can prove it. Richter 86, and as always, the king of haphazard at the end. That is everybody, every single $25 producer of our show. Thank you for the support. We appreciate it. That was so hard to read, specifically because my glass. are extra bad and I can't read normally. So I hope you appreciate the effort.

I really care about you guys. Yeah, somehow. This is real love. Now give us more patrons now. Yeah. Now we're done. So I'll see you. This is Daniel Fischel.

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