The Snark Tank - #72: E3 WAS GOOD/THE WORST??
Episode Date: June 20, 2021Derrick died, Twitch becomes a fetish site, Chris breaks his glasses, Sonic denote autism, Dream makes cringey music; and our eyes soak in some news on Halo Infinite, Metroid, Final Fantasy, Outer Wor...lds! It's E3 2021 and boy was it mixed! Listen up, gamers! Sorry, I didn't mean to call you that. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Hey, look,
he's a little dead meat.
Hey, everybody,
welcome back to another episode
of the Snark Tank podcast.
Boy, golly, howdy.
Wow, it's us.
I'm joined, as always,
by Sweeney over here.
Unfortunately, Derek could not make it.
He's in,
I think he's in Transylvania or some shit.
He, like, went on a vacation.
he's gone he's in fucking he's somewhere in europe doing some doing european things and slaving and
shit yeah he's he's he's off in a different realm and uh you know good for him but he tried he tried
to join us today uh but his power converter for his outlets started uh catching fire literally so
we were just like hey you know what don't burn your place down we'll just go we'll figure it out
for next time so if anybody has any questions that are directed specifically to derrick
and I accidentally read them out before I realized cognitively that I should have skipped them.
I apologize for that.
Don't apologize to them. Don't apologize to them.
Oh, okay, fair enough.
Fuck you all, actually.
Fuck you all.
Fuck you guys.
Fucking losers.
Yeah.
Paint waffles.
Yeah, we don't, fucking.
We don't need you.
Fuck you.
But also, like, you know.
Give us your money.
Yeah, consider tossing a dollar over at patreon.com slash a Star Tank.
Anyway, this video is a little bit late for patrons.
And for free feeds, it's going to go late.
late a day, go live a day later.
There's a lot of E3 shit that I've been doing that I've needed to catch up on.
And also just like getting shit together for this show specifically,
because I have done probably like four E3 podcasts at this point.
And this is another one.
So there's a lot of E3 stuff to go over if this isn't your jam.
if you're not a video gamist
like us
pro one
pro gamist
yeah then I guess you're gonna have a miserable time
because this is gonna be a fucking massive geek sash
huge
yeah massive enormous
so but before
before we get into that shit
I broke my fucking glasses
the other day
and
I just want to
I want to tell this story specifically
because I don't understand
the rationale behind it and if someone can explain to me why this makes sense, feel free to do so.
I shattered my glasses the other day.
Sucks.
And I had to go back to like an old prescription, like from 2016.
I can barely see right now.
It's fucked.
And I'm like wandering into the fucking lens crafters just wandering in there.
And I say, hey, I have my most recent prescription.
I need glasses.
and they said, oh, sorry, this prescription expired.
And then they turned me away.
I don't...
That's fucking hilarious.
I just don't...
That's the funniest shit ever, dude.
It's literally a vision tax.
Like, the idea that, like, I can't...
Like, I understand for, like, prescription drugs, right?
Like, oh, yeah, you don't want people hoarding these after they really need them, okay?
Because they get addicted, all sorts of crazy shit.
But I can't fucking overdose on sight.
sight.
What are they protecting me from?
Do you have any idea?
That doesn't make any sense.
I'd assume the idea was
that they just wanted to test your eyes
to make sure that you're getting the best possible one.
But the fact that they wouldn't give you anything
and it's turned your way is hilarious.
Because like, what if you just couldn't get back home?
Yeah, I'm also like, look, I understand glasses
take time to make.
They can't just like print me a pair of glasses.
But like at the same time
They could if they wanted to
Yeah maybe who knows
But I don't know
It's just
Yeah glasses elves
It's just weird
That a prescription like that
Can expire to the degree
Where they wouldn't even give you
An old pair
Just just as like a temporary
fucking thing
That just seems weird
That they wouldn't do that
But
Also you can like
Buy
You can make up a prescription
On like Warby Parker
And like
Really?
Yeah I'm pretty sure
Like as long as you have
Prescription
And you know your prescription
You can just give them that detail
or that information and they'll make you lenses and shit.
So I don't, I don't know.
I haven't had glasses in like 10 years.
I just stopped wearing my glasses, so.
Do you need them?
I don't know.
I really need glasses.
I feel like you see fine.
I definitely need glasses.
You read the TV from Far Away pretty all right, so like I don't think you need glasses.
I do, but it would be helpful because not only am I dyslexic, I'm colorblind, and I have a
stigmatism.
So my eyes are really, really bad.
I just learned to deal with the fact that I have problems.
Dude, they, they went when I went to get the eye exam that they charged me $90 for,
I went in there and they took a picture of the back of my eye.
I didn't even know that was a posse.
I didn't even know that was a thing that.
What?
I look, I,
I was in a way.
Someone in the comments might be able to explain this.
But like straight up, like, they just, you, they, you put your eye in front of this weird, like, wally look
machine. Oh, I know what that is. And then they like flash like an insane amount of light into your
eye. But you don't see it. I guess. I don't know how it works. But yeah, it's like here's your
optic nerve and, oh yeah, you see it's like you got a thin eye and I'm like, oh weird. You got a thin.
Do you have a thin, you have a petite eye? Yeah. I have a petite little like really small
fuckable eye and like the fucking like apparently I have a scar on there from like when like I was
a little child and I got hooked in the eye at a rainbow.
Rainbows in the Bronx.
By the way,
saw this video trending on Twitter earlier today of like this dude.
Huh?
Rainbow like the boating place?
No,
like the discount clothes place in New York.
Rainbows?
I only know about cookies.
I know about cookies.
That's about it.
What?
I don't remember rainbows.
You don't remember rainbows?
No.
Unbelievable.
There was one on Gun Hill.
That's the one I went to.
Or Mushula.
specifically.
But by the way, there was like a video of like this footage in the Bronx earlier of
some dude just shooting a guy in front of two kids.
So if you're, yeah, that's the Bronx.
It's the Bronx that every that Sweeney keeps raving about.
I don't rave about the Bronx.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't rave about it.
I just say that's my home.
I don't rape about it at all.
I know exactly what that place is like.
You're fucking out of your mind.
I miss it sometimes
Not enough to live there again
I miss New York
I don't miss the Bronx
Like
Fuck the Bronx
Dude oh speaking of something crazy
Bro I was just watching this guy
Get into an argument right
It was somewhere in the Middle East obviously
Yeah of course
And one guy got smacked
And he was like
He said something
And the guy smacked him again
He pulled out a grenade
And I was just like
Oh shit
Did it go off?
Whoa
Huh
Did it go off?
Yes
People would have
When the camera ran away and you saw the grenade go off.
Wait, he pulled and he pulled, he pulled out a grenade and the pin.
He pulled the pin and then it went off.
I don't know if he threw it at somebody or he held on to it and martyed himself.
But all I know is that a live grenade was added to the party.
Dude, fucking he marty-edomed himself.
That is fucking wild.
Imagine being that prepared at any given moment to not only take yourself out, but multiple as well with very little.
effort. Imagine just like having a grenade on you
in case someone pisses you off to the degree
that you'd be able to pull that out and actually just do what
you need to do. You got to be bothered already.
You can't just do that. That can't be a person that's not
already like really upset. You don't
say the person carrying
the live grenade? Because
that's crazy, bro. A live grenade is like
you know, a live grenade. That's like
meant to end the game.
Jesus
fucking Christ.
It was crazy. It usually is
like
where was this you said
definitely somewhere in the Middle East
they were all like a little tanner than Puerto Rican people
it's it's like the Middle East
the Middle East is somehow on the lower
like the lower end chain
of like how frequent those videos
for some reason like it's like
South America
it's South America and China
it yeah
China was like more of a lively thing
I mean general internet stuff it's like it goes
I think it goes South America
like Brazil and places like that
always some crazy shit
then I think
rushes next with like those people like sliding down museums and shattering their backs and dying
on the street then then it's like then i think it's like the middle east mixed with like a little
bit of the bronx it's like the middle east in the bronx yeah just someone fucking going
just i saw a video i saw a russian video where this guy sneezing the explosion came out and
Yeah. I immediately, as soon as I tried to send that to my friends, it was gone.
Like, I was like, while I was sharing it, it was disappeared.
I was like, was it was you that sent me that video, the dude lighting the, this cigarette in the, in the shop with the gas leak, and then he becomes like a super sain.
He just disappeared.
That shit was insane.
Dude, the internet is so fucked, because it's like, I don't even know if this bothers me anymore.
But it bothers me that it doesn't affect me as deeply as it really should.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay.
I'd never owned a vintage camera before.
There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary
in a world where everything lives on our phones.
But I wanted to change that.
So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera.
When I finally found the perfect one on eBay,
I didn't keep it to myself.
I left it out on a table.
Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment.
There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it.
The moment became real right away.
It was about choosing something.
Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it.
Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge, on shelves tucked into books.
Each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned.
That's what I appreciate about eBay.
It's a place where you can find things that bring people together
and pass along things you no longer need,
so they can become part of someone else's memories.
To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.
Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds.
Find what you love, sell what you don't.
eBay, things people love.
Cashflow crunch.
On Decks Small Business Line of Credit gives your business immediate access to funds
up to $200,000 right when you need it.
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payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat, with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment.
Get funded quickly and confidently.
Apply today at on deck.com.
Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow.
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OnDak does not lend in North Dakota.
All loans and amount subject to lender approval.
You know?
It's your empathy being like, bro, there's a problem with that.
Like, why are you not like screaming or crying?
but my mind's like you can't scream and cry every time because it happened so often
yeah it's it's uncomfortable like i i wonder if uh well no i don't warn wonder it's definitely
not healthy to consume that content uh on a regular basis but every now and then you
every now and then you see something that just peaks your curiosity like that gas league thing was
just fucking like because he did a jojo pose before it's like the most insane video we can't
We can't show this to you, obviously.
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
I usually don't.
Look, I usually don't look into those situations because I don't like to know, like, whether or not they're okay.
Because it just makes it so much worse.
But I like to assume, like, oh, ha ha, they're fine.
This is Looney Tunes.
It was one video where they were at a gas station in somewhere in Latin America, and a car just blew the fuck up.
Like big.
Like it wasn't like a small explosion.
It was like big enough that the screen disappeared.
You remember that like white dude who blew up like an entire block last year and no one talked about it because it was a white dude?
What?
No.
Yeah, exactly.
It's fucking crazy.
I think it happened.
I think it was Christmas.
I think it was like Christmas of last year that like blew up a whole block.
I swear to God there was this video of like this whole block exploding.
And it was like no one talked about it.
Like I saw it on trending.
I didn't even see it trending on Twitter.
It just came across my feed by happenstance.
It's pretty insane.
Anyway.
It was a white dude.
No one said anything about it.
Classic.
The moral of the story is...
The classic...
The classic...
He was a good kid.
Never bothered anybody.
Really good in school.
I love those things so much.
Never bothered a single soul.
But the moral of the story is, just let me buy my prescriptions, you know?
Yeah, that's where we started.
That's where we started.
This is where we went.
Jesus Christ.
Does Derek ground us?
No.
Because we got like a real off topic real quick.
Does Derek ground us?
We're not, none one grounds anyone else.
We start talking about bull.
You know how many times you've started talking about video games and it diverged into like pussy talk?
I mean, you guys do that.
No, you too.
I don't.
You're not exempt.
Roll the tape back.
I challenge anyone.
I challenge anyone.
I challenge anyone.
Find Chris is several times talking about pussy.
You'll be able to find you.
I don't do that.
You talk about pussy when, when you don't initiate the.
pussy talk but you do partake in a pussy well it's there like I have to keep the show
going I'm not gonna like hey guys can we don't talk about pussy please can we like not talk
oh guys I get a little embarrassed like you know like I'm not gonna I'm not just gonna
interject with like an awkward segue out of pussycaut if it's brought up then sure I'll talk
about it but I never like bring up I never goes like a fucking saint but I don't start I
don't start the pussy fire you know I don't ignite
You just happily partake in the meals cooked by the pussy five.
Look, I got a show to run, all right?
I'm just saying.
And I want to make it easier for me to edit,
so I'm not going to, like, stitch together these, like, two fucking sentences that may work.
Fuck that.
Ridicrous.
This episode's not being edited at all, by the way, like, because we want to get this out.
Oh, my God.
We want to get this out as soon as possible because we're a bit late.
So whatever happens, whatever mistakes, you're, this is your fault.
Lily bursts in immediately.
Bubbs
Oh my God
That would be so
That would be so disruptive
I want to think about shit like that
Because I wouldn't be able to just tell her to get out
She'd be like how come what's going on
Are you recording it'd be ruined
Anyway
Anyway so yeah
Broke my glasses
Derek's out of the country
Often fucking I don't even know
Lithuania some some fucking
Weirdo place
We'll see him back hopefully if he makes
If he survives the flight back
Lord knows all sorts of crazy things happen on planes these days
Why are you just putting that energy out there?
I'm just don't, can you imagine something bad happens?
Yeah, it would suck dick.
What if he gets Bioshocked and he's like on a plane that goes down and he's like, it's Derek,
Derek's swimming through the ocean up to a lighthouse and then he goes through the entire experience of Bioshock and he comes back a completely changed man.
He doesn't want to do the podcast anymore because he's seen too much.
No, he comes back with a bunch of super fucked stories.
But he's still just as fucked up.
He's just as the same Derek.
is a really fuck mentality.
Do you think you could, so do you think you could go through like a Bioshock experience
and then like, or not even just a Bioshock, but just like a silent hill, any given
silent hill or like any given Resident Evil?
Do you think you could like come out of that and then come back to doing this?
I would have, oh man, because that's hard because you're just different at that moment.
Yeah, you're a completely changed person.
But we're already kind of fucked up, you know, like...
Not to the degree that like...
We're not like psychopaths, you know,
because that would make you a psychopaths, you'd become crazy.
Yeah.
Like someone would cough around me and I would put them to sleep.
Because like, could you imagine someone acting weird around doing Resident Evil?
Like after, like Leon Kennedy goes home after Resident Evil too.
And then some guy coughs around him, he's like, yo,
you cough one more time, I'm putting a bullet in between your eyes.
Yeah, you'd have like PTSD associated with pretty much everything.
It's like that video, the dude who gets the surprise party thrown for him,
He pulls his gun out.
Dude, he pulls his gun out so fast.
Dude, that life.
He pulled his gun out and then cocked it back
and was ready to spray everyone in that room.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay.
I'd never owned a vintage camera before.
There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary
in a world where everything lives on our phones.
But I wanted to change that.
So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera.
When I finally found the perfect one on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself, I left it out on a table.
Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone
to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment.
There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it.
The moment became real right away.
It was about choosing something.
Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry, the vintage camera belonged to the room,
to the moment, to the people in it.
Over time, the photos started to pile up on the fridge.
on shelves tucked into books,
each one a reminder that meaning isn't always planned.
That's what I appreciate about eBay.
It's a place where you can find things that bring people together
and pass along things you no longer need
so they can become part of someone else's memories.
To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.
Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds.
Find what you love, sell what you don't.
eBay, things people love.
Cashflow crunch.
On-deck's small business line of credit
gives your business immediate access to funds
up to $200,000 right when you need it.
Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory,
or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat
with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment.
Get funded quickly and confidently.
Apply today at on deck.com.
Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow.
Depending on certain loan attributes,
your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank.
OnDec does not lend in North Dakota.
All loans and amount subject to lender approval.
It was just...
It was just his friends and family being considerate.
Like, imagine the life that you'd have to live for that to be your immediate response to surprise party.
Dude, my response to a surprise party is also, like, unsettling.
It's like, oh, I don't like this.
People are in my house.
This is a place of safety, and it's now that a losing is completely shattered.
Like, I understand that.
But then pulling out of fucking blicky, you know, like, holy shit.
Fucking blast went ready to fucking air people out.
I wish.
I could come back.
I didn't come back from that.
I think I'd be normal still be me.
I don't think I'd still be me.
I don't think I would.
I don't think I'd be right.
We all,
I already repress a lot of my feelings.
So I'm pretty sure that I could repress too.
There's only so much you can repress, though,
when you're seeing, like, shit like that.
Like, dude, I don't want to spoil it specifically for anybody who's played it,
but you go through that baby sequence in Resident Evil 8 and you're fuck.
You're like, you're not going to be okay after that.
You'd have to join the military.
You'd have to become a military person.
Just to, dude, that's a step down.
You'd have to. You'd have to be going to the military because if you, because your brain's already used to that kind of like, that kind of shit happens.
Yeah.
You got to be like, I got to go use this because I'm already not okay.
Just point me to people I can put to sleep.
You can't put me in a Baskin-Robbins now.
I will, I am violent.
I cannot be trusted among civilian life.
Put me in the military where my trauma can be utilized for a greater good.
Honestly.
Or become a mercy.
Or some shit, man.
Dude, no one would hire that mercenary.
Yeah, they would.
Yeah, the fuck they would.
Well, yeah, 100%.
No, because hit, no, because Hitman, like Agent 47 isn't some dude who's been traumatized.
He's like.
He is traumatized.
Objectively.
But he's like an autistic traumatized guy.
But not in like a supernatural sense.
Like, he didn't.
You have to, you have to do that.
If this, if, look, look, look, look, think of it like this again.
a bit of a stretch, all right. Think of it like this. Okay.
All right. I'm ready.
Guts from Berserk.
You're telling me he would not be the hottest mercenary on the fucking block.
He's killed demons, bro, regularly.
A person is chump changed to him.
I don't know enough about Berserk to understand.
Like, is that the one with the rape horse?
I think it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay. That's all I know about it.
Like Trevor Belmar, or like Trevor Belmont.
Like someone that's been through that kind of shit, like they're the best.
because they are killers.
Well, no, because Trevor Belmont's not a good assassin because he's experienced supernatural shit.
Everybody in that world has experienced supernatural shit.
But he's good, but he's...
He's good at fighting.
He's the MC because, like, he's, he's already achieved the fact that he's good at killing anything.
We've seen him kill.
He can do it.
I understand what you're saying.
I understand what you're saying.
It's just, he is not special because he has seen trauma.
He's special because he's good at fighting monsters.
But what happens is if you survive that shit, like if you go through the main character's journey of some sort of fucked supernatural,
zombie fucking war bullshit, you are going to be the best killer on the planet by the end of that.
I would never assume.
Here's the thing.
If I made it through the entirety of like Resident Evil 7 or whatever the hell.
or something like that.
Not seven, not seven, maybe eight.
Either one of them.
Like, if I made it through the, not both of them,
because that's like a whole, like, two of those is like,
you can't make that up.
But like, if you go through one of those experiences,
if I went through one of those experiences,
me as myself and I came out the other side alive,
I would immediately assume, wow, that was a mighty fluke.
I'm never going to indulge in this again.
I'm never taking a vacation.
I'm not going to fucking Transylvania or whatever the hell.
I'm not ever taking a vacation.
Dude, staying in my house only.
I'm staying in my country at the very least, or in my state.
I'm not going to go to Louisiana and get lost in a mold house.
You know, like the adventures stop because I don't, I would never believe that I made it out of there by pure skill.
I would be like, oh my God, so many, so much luck got me out of there.
I would believe there'd be chance.
That'd have to be some sort of chance like that, but I wouldn't risk it.
I would have to, you would, you would be like that guy.
You'd be like Chris did that, you know, and you know shit.
You'd be, your perception would probably be way better than it was before because you're always scared now.
So you'd, if someone fucking opens a door two floors down, you'll be like, oh, someone's in the building.
And you'd be able to track them.
That's scary.
That's a scary amount of power to add.
You'd be better.
But you would definitely, you'd definitely probably end up offing yourself because I'm a stress you're under all the time.
Oh, yeah, without a doubt.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I mean, I guess so.
I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Anyway, Twitch is interesting.
Twitch is pretty interesting right now.
We talked a little bit about the Hot Tub meta in one of the last episodes that we did.
I can't remember exactly which one.
But it was definitely.
It's a powerful build, honestly.
Definitely within the last, like, five episodes.
I think we've talked about the Hot Tub thing and, like, the Hot Tub streamers, like, going up and, you know, streaming in, like, bikinis.
And it's essentially, like, ah, you're bordering on the line.
of, you know, being a cam girl.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did,
presented by eBay.
I'd never owned a vintage camera before.
There was something about it
that felt almost unnecessary
in a world where everything lives on our phones.
But I wanted to change that.
So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera.
When I finally found the perfect one on eBay,
I didn't keep it to myself,
I left it out on a table.
Always within reach,
people started picking it out.
without asking, family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them
in that moment. There was no editing, no retakes, you took the photo and that was it. The moment became
real right away. It was about choosing something. Deciding this matters, even if it came out blurry,
the vintage camera belonged to the room, to the moment, to the people in it. Over time, the photos
started to pile up on the fridge, on shelves tucked into books. Each one a reminder that meaning
isn't always planned. That's what I appreciate about eBay. It's a place where you can
find things that bring people together and pass along things you no longer need so they can
become part of someone else's memories. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you
get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you
don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On-deck's small business line of credit gives your
business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips,
manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected.
expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws transparent pricing and control over
repayment get funded quickly and confidently apply today at on deck.com funds could be available
as soon as tomorrow depending on certain loan attributes your business loan may be issued by on deck
or celtic bank on deck does not lend in north dakota all loans and amount subject to lender approval
uh and you know fine fair enough there's already like uh the thing with that shit is that there's
already like a pools there was already like a pools and like beaches section on twitch i believe like
stream at the beach already, so it's like, all right, there's, uh, you're, you're definitely pushing it,
but like, fine, whatever. Lately, though, the last couple days that I've noticed, things have
gotten a little bit, uh, extra. Uh, we got Indy Fox, uh, who was previously doing some hot tub streams.
I don't know why she stopped and started doing this. Seems weird. But, uh, you know, uh, just
putting binoral microphones.
upper ass and farting for money
don't know what to make of this
this is a little weird
they opened a floodgate man
they let the hot them
tatam thing go they were like
it's fine you don't have to watch it
it's fine
and now
the site
is kind of chatter
bait with video games sometimes.
Yeah, yeah.
It's very, look, I want to say right off the bat,
I'm totally fine with like only fans and like chatterbid and all these things existing.
Like, whatever.
Like there are corners of the internet made for that.
But because I am autistic and this is the best way I like to explain things,
uh, some sites are designed with their own purpose.
And it is usually a good.
thing for sites to maintain their identity and not kind of you don't put
Sprint in a Halo game sprint is pretty cool maybe Sprint's pretty cool over on
chatterbate maybe sprints pretty cool on on you know porn hub and and whatever
the fuck but look Brassers has some good sprint yeah there's look there's
some pretty good sprinting sites but
But Twitch, I think, is a little better when there's no sprint.
I think it was designed with no sprint in mind.
Now they're kind of-
Now they're kind of shoehorning sprint into an ecosystem where it wasn't ready for and like, you know.
And now that sprints available.
It only incites different kinds of things that are going to inherently destroy the maps.
Exactly.
It nullifies some of the weapons that were already useful because if there's a whole
sprints meta, what about
everything that was not involving sprint?
People are going to assume it's too slow.
Yeah, no one's going to watch the crouch jumping
streams and no one's going to watch,
no one's going to watch the bomb jump streams.
Who's going to get in vehicles now if they're sprinting all over the place?
Who's going to watch the vehicle videos?
Everyone's going to tune in to the sprinting vehicles.
And then the, dude.
And then now imagine the sword.
Now, let's just say,
someone has large, with large breasts has a sword, right?
and at an on stream.
And then like, if they can sprint, if they're sprinting around,
why are you ever going to look at me, you know, the good old fashion,
the good old fashion melee, regular melee, you know, at 30 FOV,
if they have a sword and they're just going to go around sprinting with the sword
cut and everybody open, you know, inherently destroys the design philosophy.
I think, uh, I imagine so many people are fucking baffled, but I,
they're so fucking confused.
If you understand what we're,
saying though, God bless you, you probably got a big kick out of this. But I think, I don't know, man.
I just think I'm not opposed to this inherently. It's weird. I don't understand this specific
genre of pornography in the first place. Like the whole like, do, but, yo, can I, hold on the fart on the
mic, dude. Fart on the mic. Hold on. Honestly, I want everybody in the audience to think about this.
Would you rather be caught watching porn or would you rather be caught watching a streamer fart into a microphone?
Dude, I would, if I was watching.
If I was watching Twitch streamers, like in hot tubs, like, you know, shitting.
Like, I feel like, and someone walked in, I would immediately, like, alt tab into, like, into porn.
Like any kind of legal porn.
I would, you know, immediately go to.
Because that's so much easier to explain than, oh, I wanted to see fucking Amaranth fart into a microphone or whatever the fuck.
Like, I don't, no king's shame, I guess, but low-key kind of.
You switch to midget porn, bro.
You switch to midget gangbangs after it.
Well, that's it's like if someone, if you catch.
somebody watching midget porn, you're probably going to think to yourself, oh, weird, but you're also going to think to yourself, ah, it's weird. People are into weird things, whatever. It's pornography. I'm not going to, I'm not going to set, I'm not going to dip my toes into this discourse. You catch somebody watching stuff on Twitch, though. Then your immediate thought is like, dude, why aren't you just watching porn?
Just watch porn. Just watch porn, dude. It's fine, dude. Like, don't even trip. It's fine. It's free. It's
Low res. It's 4K. There's a lot of it.
There's low res. There's 4K.
Also, this weird... I like low-res porn the most.
360p, man. Because then this is a mystery what's going on there.
It's like watching a fucking... It's like watching a DaVinci-Bayton move.
It's implied.
It's implied. It's like, oh, I can't even really see this person's face.
That could be whoever I wanted to be.
Exactly, dude.
I don't know, man. I just think it's...
It's classic, like, 16-bit video games, bro.
Exactly.
It will always just be the classically.
Your imagination does all the heavy...
lifting for you. Exactly. I don't know, man. This whole thing's fucking just bizarre. Like,
the whole, just watch fucking, and even just this weird half step between like, why aren't you
just subscribing to Camgirls? Like, why aren't, why not just, at the very least, dude,
if you're like into weird shit, why not fund the people who are actually like committed to doing
it instead of these like weird half step people on Twitch where just like, uh, like, I don't
think they would call themselves sex workers, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't, they're streamers.
Yeah, they'd be like, they'd be like, I'm a streamer, but it's like, uh, okay, but.
The thing is this, the thing is this.
This, how everything works in the world.
We understand that this is the beginning and then it will get worse and worse and worse.
That's how it works.
There's always one person that opens the flood.
They need to nip that in the butt immediately.
You know, because it's fine.
If, if Twitch is a place that has.
a certain sort of conduct to it and that is the conduct that it holds itself up to then that's fine
you know you shouldn't be afraid of all the people like that's not fair we want to watch it's like
well no twitch is not for that there are the websites for that kind of thing you know yeah yeah and they
should have just done that but now what happens was we had the hot tubs and now we have the microphone
up the ass meta and where do we go next because that's that's that's a strong evolution right there
yeah next is going to be a camera uh uh
inside someone pointing directly at their cervix and they're going to like make it talk
they're going to like move like try and flex the muscles to make it look at speaking
fucking grave mind oh my god talking and fucking rhyme that's that's the next logical step right you know you
know you take the clothes off you go up the ass now you go into the ass and now it's like
there's a whole there's a whole world down there you know like it's a fucking marshaland
dude this is i think is i wonder how long this is
gonna last though because hot tubs were like one of those things where it's like yeah you know like
i don't know you bring kids to beaches and you know like there's i could see a lot of arguments being
like ah whatever it's just people in hot tubs i also understand that no one is watching those
streams for any other reason than to see half naked women but you know but you know there was at
least some kind of a pro like a case to be made about like the appropriateness of just a person in a
bikini because it's like whatever like but it's like people saying they were watching hot
tough streams because like it's like saying you watch bay watch for the characters right you
didn't exactly but liar you don't play dead or alive for the fucking male characters you're right
but bay watch was on television you know like anybody could anybody could somebody could
stumble across baywatch it's like all right fair enough whatever true i i i struggle to imagine
an appropriate scenario where a microphone is placed up the ass of someone.
That is one thing.
Colonoscopy.
Me and Nisa were talking about this.
If you were getting a colonoscopy and someone was trying to show you how it works,
then by all means, the mic up the asshole makes sense.
Yeah.
Even so, in an educational capacity, I don't think it quite holds up in the same way.
You'd be surprised which you could post on YouTube for educational purposes.
That is true.
You would be surprised.
I watched a 20 minute jelking video.
Yeah.
It was like, whoa.
YouTube is different because YouTube is kind of like,
I don't even have a way of justifying that.
I was trying.
I was trying.
I was trying my best, but you can't.
Dude, you can find straight up porn on YouTube.
If you just go to most recently up,
if you Google any type of porn search term on YouTube,
it'll show up.
most recently uploaded because they can't filter that shit.
It's just too quick and YouTube's too big.
It's too much. I don't envy the people whose jobs it is to solve this shit.
They're not people. They're robots.
Well, that is also true.
But either way.
This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush.
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I'm just going to start doing fucking shirtless streams.
I'm going to oil myself.
I'm going to lather myself in oil.
Maybe I'll just cook myself, quite frankly.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to have a mic near my face and a mic near my genitals.
I'm going to get an erection.
I'm going to slap my dick against my thighs.
Yeah, yeah.
It's fine.
That's ASMR.
That's ASMR right there.
It is ASMR.
It's like, it's just like, you know, sensations.
Yeah, dude.
Like I like feeling.
The rubbing of my brain with word.
It's like, yeah, dude, sure.
Rub your brain with my fucking dick.
How about that?
Yeah, honestly, like, at this point, like, I don't see,
I don't see how they could really make a case.
Like, as long as you don't see it,
as long as, like, you literally on camera,
like, you can do fucking anything.
I could just have the camera,
I could just, I can have the camera like this.
And it would be perfectly fine.
Look, all I got to say is that it's going to get bad,
it's going to get worse for it gets better.
It's going to get.
And I cannot wait to see the worst.
I cannot wait to see it because I'm going to be there for the bullshit.
I'm going to stream Dark Alliance, the new D&D game when it comes out.
And I'm just going to be like, I'm using a fleshlight.
And I'm put as much vacillated as I can.
So you guys get here, everything going on down there.
It's not even like a fucking, you know what's weird?
The fucking microphone that she's using, it's like a binaural one.
Like, it's not even like a cheap one.
like a binaural microphone is the one that like is like it's like the the shape of two ears and it like it actually like displaces sound like it actually like an earwood and it's specifically for uh asmr but it's like you putting that shit up your ass dude she got money bro i mean yeah i mean she's like definitely i know people who uh who have worked for her so like i i know she's got a lot of money
You know?
And by all means, like, dude, make your money, but this is going to be fucking.
Oh, my God.
The thing says just end if there's no fart.
People are broken, man.
People are broken.
Just don't even stream if you're not going to fart for us, dude.
Like, why are you even wasting our fucking time with this shit?
I gave you a sub.
Fart loud.
Yo.
That whole community.
That whole community.
Like, fuck it.
You can't, you'll never find a hive of more concerning individuals than you'll find in Indy Fox's Twitch chat.
Like you just.
Concerning?
Oh.
Just a sincerely concerning hive.
I can tell you a more concerning group of people.
Well, what?
Sonic fans.
Sonic fans above 27.
No.
They're fucking, they're startling human beings.
Yeah, but they're just autistic.
Like, there's nothing inherently.
wrong with that.
You know what?
Yeah, they're just autistic.
It's like there's a difference between like, oh, you know, I like Sonic, therefore I have a
learning disability and, you know, being a genuine creak.
You were talking about how Sonic is pretty much as an autism test?
I think it's like, dude, this, this, I don't know, look, I don't want, I don't want,
I don't want this to seem offensive to anybody with, I'm not at all.
Dude, listen, I'm fairly certain.
I, I can't be sure.
but I would be fucking staggered
if I was not on the spectrum in some way
like I'm pretty confident
that there's something wrong
I don't open emails because they stress me out
just seeing them like just like I like I'll wait
until someone calls me
like where the fuck are you
why haven't you answered your emails like sorry
I'm scared of them
you know so
I don't think I'm on the spectrum but I'm definitely shattered
like there's something wrong upstairs
like there's you're just broken
I don't think you're autistic
Yeah, there's something wrong up there.
But yeah, dude, like honestly, in my experience, typically, if someone likes Sonic, that seems to coincide with a certain type of person, you know, God bless him.
I think it's the big eyes personally.
I think it's the fact that their eyes are joined.
I think it's the speed.
I think it's the speed in which she processes things because it makes them realize how bad they are processing the chain.
in the world. I mean, I don't know.
That's a whole, you know,
we're none of us are medical professionals,
so we'll leave this conversation. We'll leave this
conversation to you guys. I'm trying to be a nurse.
That's not, that's way bigger than what I'm going to be. I'm just going to
like, like, put people's stomachs back in their bodies when they come out.
That's it. I'm a clean shit off like really big
people. Like, I ain't that. That's not me.
Oh, my God. That's so,
I could never do that. I could never do a job like that.
Oh, I'm going to definitely quit eventually.
just fucking leave
so
we touched on
we touched on the Indy Fox thing
the last thing I want to talk about
before we get into E3
is
this I don't know if you saw
this but did you see this dream
video where
I have not I'm going to watch a little bit right now
to see how bad it is
there's this dream song called
Mask
or something
and it's just this terrible
you've seen the
the memes of like the CG character that's used in it.
It's like,
it's just,
my god,
yeah,
he looks so disgusting.
It's really embarrassingly bad to the point where,
dude,
he's talking about like,
I struggle a lot and I wear a smile because I cannot,
I cannot feel happy on my own.
I wear a smile mask and I've worn it so long that it's real now and all this crazy stuff.
And it's very like a hashtag deep,
you know,
like 17 year old.
Uh,
you know,
Wow, how introspective.
I saw his report card meme, and he got all Fs, and I was like, bro, that's bad.
Yeah, I don't know anybody.
I don't know anybody who's gotten all Fs ever.
Like, can you imagine failing every single one of your classes?
Like, you don't find anything that you're naturally good at or just like, it's not even like, okay, you're not good.
not good at math man I can't do math at all like I'm fucking in neft when it comes to
math I still have to fucking count on my fingers I I fucking can't do it but but I can
write shit I'm at least like a plus in English and like fucking you know there's
economics I'm okay at and all this other shit like imagine getting an F minus on
more than one not only more than one all of your classes gym you can't study
Hall. Imagine failing
study hall. How do you get
all at? I'm crying.
Dude, man, that's
what Minecraft does.
I would be so scared to get that
report card to my parents.
All right, Dream. What's one
minus two? What do you mean?
Do you mean one minus one block
minus one block?
Wood?
D&T?
Diamond sword?
Creep.
Per.
I swear.
Minecraft, Steve.
It can't.
Dude.
Box.
Box.
Box.
What is?
Dickheads.
I,
look,
we've all failed classes here before.
Look,
I was,
I was the kid that was forced to stay home and study all the time.
And then I remember I took,
I took honors chem and I got a 67 on a class.
And I got a two on an AP.
And I was.
so confused because I studied a lot.
Like I thought I was doing good when I took the test.
And then when I got the score back,
I had to recalculate my life.
My grandma made me stop playing basketball.
Like that's how off I was in that period of time.
So I failed classes.
But all Fs is bad.
That is bad.
That's reset.
You got to reset.
You got to figure out what you're going to do with your life because schooling.
You got to drop out immediately.
That's, that's, that's,
restore to factory default.
Like you gotta,
there's something,
something went wrong in,
in like the updating phase,
and now you gotta defragment
that entire hard drive.
Like,
all,
look,
I failed classes.
Like,
obviously.
Like,
I think everybody's failed at least one class.
Like,
and there are classes where I,
like, barely scrape by.
Like, oh,
hey,
here's a,
here's a D for fucking physics or whatever.
And it's like,
all right,
whatever.
Like, it's,
it's math.
I can't,
I'm bad at math.
Like,
every math I can't do.
I just fucking,
whatever.
It's just the fact that it's all F's.
like every single
That's gonna become my screen
I'm making this my screen saver actually
You should make that your Twitter
header
This is all-ass
But dude
It's that whole video is so bad
It's like this
Really over the top
edgy like
Feel sad for me song
But it's not even like half as good
As like
Like it's just not
It's not even as good as like
Evan essence
You know like it's just bad
It's just like
It's written so poorly
he's like there's a part in that song where it's like devastating to him where it's like
they think I might need glasses and it's like I think I think I might need glasses as well
I desperately need glasses I I have glasses and it's and it's and it's and to be perfectly
frank having glasses is like one of the positives that I have like that's like that's like the
thing that I have that's like one of the few things that I have to deal with that I'm like
man, I'm glad it's this, you know?
Yeah, because like, it's not so bad.
You could be like, you could be an ice kid.
That could always be another reality where like,
your mom's going to get taken away from you and you're going to get sold in a box.
It's supposed to be furniture in it.
They took my mom from Calabasas.
Like, fucking, dude, you know.
Yeah, you could be like a deported kid, but it's like, oh, they think, they think,
they think I might need glasses as like this harrowing experience for dream.
How sheltered, how sheltered you have to fucking be.
Okay, let's let's, I feel like such an asshole.
Okay, look, the whole dream situation is hilarious.
I watch a content creator called Omni, who like has been like up to day with all the dream bullshit since like the beginning of the quarantine.
And he's kind of, dream's kind of an asshole.
He's kind of an asshole.
He has a very toxic fan base who just like just take things to the extreme.
He was doxed apparently.
It may have been, like it's just so much shit going on with that whole.
Minecraft sphere involving it.
Well, look, that sucks. Doxing is shitty
unless it's like a pedophile or something, in which case, like,
look, I'm not going to tell you to do it, but like, you know,
I'm not going to say anything about that. I'm not going to be like,
oh, how dare you? Consistency and morals and all that. It's like,
nah, that's fine. But dream, I don't know, you cheat in Minecraft,
and you get docs, that seems a bit like, the punishment does not fit the crime in that,
in that scenario.
110% does not. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
fucking wild that people were like you cheated in Minecraft I should reveal where your family is
because the internet is unhealthy place do people get unhealthy attachments and they just do fuck shit and it's
like you you think it's okay to docks him because he cheated in Minecraft yeah what is your life like
there's a lot of crazies and uh you know it that's that's the case with all corners of the internet
But I just wanted to talk about it because that video was so bad.
That was like one of the worst.
It was really bad.
The all Fs has to become my background.
That's going to be like I have to.
I need that.
It is.
It is funny.
There's a lot of good meme material in it.
And I hope he's,
I hope he gets over this though because like the Minecraft fans are so bad.
Well,
so poisonous.
Listen,
the thing,
not to,
not to refocus criticism on dream,
but there's,
This whole video is about how like you shouldn't take medication if you're having like mental illness or whatever.
And it's like, or at least that's like kind of the thing that I got from it was like, I'm sad and they gave me pills, but I threw them down the drain and I feel good.
And it's like, ah, ah, you know, hmm, nah, ah, maybe don't.
You might be a certain case, friend.
Yeah, listen, maybe you're probably just overdiagnosed.
You're probably just like, oh, I got nervous before I peed my pants.
And then like, and your doctor's like, all right, riddling.
Yeah, the doctor was like, oh, you're.
nervous once, you have anxiety.
And then they gave him pills and he was like, I'm sure that
happens to some people, but it's like, like, I'm still
pissing my pants. It's like, not pissing my pants more.
It's like, you gave me this.
I got really nervous because I saw Buff Corel on
YouTube and it made me insecure.
Here, Buff Correl.
Amazing.
God bless Buff Corral.
God bless him in time.
This has been the most fucking out of this podcast.
Derek does ground us.
Holy shit.
Derek scourges
because this is just like us talking in the house again
and it's just like bullshit being said left it right
That is true
This is this is
Every podcast with just you and me
Just becomes our normal day
In front of microphones
Alright
Let's talk about E3 stuff
Let's focus towards video games
Yeah we're back now
Now that all the
All the current events is done
Let's jump into E3
So obviously we're at the point now
Where everybody's gone already
you know
Microsoft went
Nintendo went
Ubisoft
Gearbox
Take 2 and Square
Enix went
Most of them were bad
Not very good at all
There's that one Final Fantasy game
Like the Final Fantasy Origins
Strangers of Paradise or whatever the fuck
That looks like DMC
Except not fun
And
And
And
That entire trailer is literally just that one guy
for Final Fantasy being like, I want to kill
chaos. Chaos. I'm here to kill
chaos. I'm here to spread
my lips for chaos. I'm here to
fuck chaos. I'm here to put my
vainie peepie in chaos.
Literally the whole thing is just that
and I couldn't believe how bad it was.
But, you know,
new Final Fantasy for everybody.
So, uh, let's
go over the bad
than the good.
So I almost don't even remember any of the bad
because what was the, well, okay,
the take to
take to interactive they own
really bad they publish
I'm fairly certain they publish
Rockstar I'm mistaken right they're fairly certain
they publish like GTA
and and Red Dead
and I think Borderlands as well but I could be wrong
I feel like I remember Borderlands being like a 2K game
but
they had an E3 keynote
that was literally just a Zoom call about
like diversity
and they didn't show any
anything.
Like it was just people on Zoom
talking about
this industry, eh.
And it was just like, okay, that's fun.
That's a nice little thing.
Why would you do that?
Massive waste of time.
Gargantuan.
I couldn't, that was easily the worst.
Then...
Yes.
We had Ubisoft.
Ubisoft, I was just bored.
It wasn't like...
They had that Mario Rabbits thing
that, inexplicably...
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Is apparently pretty good.
It was a good game.
People liked it a lot.
And I didn't play it yet because, you know, I saw rabbits and I was doing rabbits when Raymond came out because I played Raymond back in a day.
So I'm like over the rabbits and stuff like that.
Why are you saying rabbits and Raymond?
Raymond.
Raymond is where the rabbits came from.
Rayman.
Why are you saying Raymond?
Sorry.
Rayman is where the rabbits came.
The rabbit, because they're not rabbits, they're rabbits.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's where that came from.
And I was like, I did this years ago.
I'm over it.
But people love that game.
Yeah, I mean, more power to them.
More power to them.
They had that Avatar thing as well that I just don't care about at all.
Avatar sucks.
Like, it's just not a good movie.
How are you validating,
in the Avatar game almost let me check
when Avatar came out actually 2009
Christmas I think it did
I remember seeing it around my birthday
I could be wrong though I swear I feel like I remember Christmas
2009 I could be wrong but I'm fairly certain
2009 you were nail on the head
2009 December 18th nail on the head
yeah but yeah oh it got re-released the theaters again
that's right get my theaters again so
that game came out
that movie came out 12 that movie
came out 12 years ago
and they're like let's make
a video game for this movie
that came out 12 years ago that
frankly sucks dick that movie
I hate that movie so much it's not
good so much like it's genuinely
not a good movie like I've
it's the most I'll say about it
is that it's a movie you know it's
competent it's finished
it doesn't glitch
you know it doesn't like
there's no dropped frames
on the Navi or whatever the fuck
the CG works I guess
but like
the whole time I have never felt so hollow
watching a movie that was trying so desperately to be the opposite
was like look at all these colors
look at all these great creature designs isn't this cool
I'm like yeah
but I don't care
also let's be real
they would have gotten swept the fuck up by the military
like
I
yeah I don't believe for a fucking second
that robots
and helicopters and V-Toles with machine guns mounted on the side of them.
V-Toles.
That's great.
Look, the best part about that movie is that Zoe Zaldana's in it.
She is a goddess among women.
Great.
So Gorni-River is in it.
I love Sigourney-Iritch.
She's cool people, you know.
But the movie was just another, we're from different worlds,
but we can learn to love each other.
It's like Pocahontas, just in space.
Yeah.
And I don't give a fuck about Polona-Honauts.
I'm glad she dies.
I'm glad she.
I wish John shot her earlier.
What the-
killed her earlier?
Why are you saying, dude?
I don't even care, bro.
I'm part that people
and I'm still saying that.
I mean it.
Yo, you're crazy.
You're in your mind.
I hate that movie.
I hate that movie.
I hate, I hate Avatar.
I hate everything about it.
I hope the next movie starts with all of them getting yellow fever or fucking
the whooping cough or something like that.
Like, I fucking hate that movie.
Dude, holy, okay.
I mean, I just.
All right, man.
I mean it.
Fuck this.
Fuck that.
movie. Whoa, dude. Why would it take the name as the last airbender? It disrespected my
fucking show, bro. Fuck them. Fuck them. That's... I'm fucking out of here.
Okay, I understand that. I can understand the name thing put that into perspective,
because that's the same, that's the same thing I feel with Beyonce and Halo. Like, she ruined,
she ruined searching Google for Halo stuff for me because the first thing's always fucking
Beyonce's fucking, I can see your Halo. And it's like, very cool. Very cool, B.
Why don't you go ruin the Lion King?
She didn't ruin it, but she definitely did not help it.
She didn't help it.
If it was anybody else, the Lion King would have been 1% better, but it still would have been a shitty movie.
1%.
But, yeah, so Avatar was probably, like, the biggest thing they showed.
They showed Rainbow Six Quarantine, too, which looks fucking generic as fuck.
I couldn't believe how generic it went.
It looks like.
Gears without any of the characters of gears.
Yeah, it looks like gears without the melodramatic charm.
It looks like Destiny without any of the good art design.
It looks like, it just looks bad.
Like, Rainbow Six is supposed to be, like, grounded, tactical, military action.
And I get that this is like a side thing.
And it's not like, you know, freedom of expression to do whatever you want with side projects.
I get it.
Like, Halo made a fucking, like a film noir detective stealth game because it wasn't a numbered title.
With ODST.
So, like, I get it.
wanting to experiment.
But I don't know.
Something about just, oh, let's take this thing that exists, but let's put aliens in it.
It's so fucking boring and it's so expected.
One of the things that I appreciate about a lot of the stuff that we saw, honestly, this year,
is that, like, people are starting to use vampires a lot more often,
which is kind of cool because I feel like zombies are kind of, you know.
Vampires, I hate vampires.
As a classical nerd, a contemporary nerd, as you could say.
I hate vampires, but it's cool seeing them in games where I can kill them.
Right. It's fun to kill vampires.
There's more, there's more involved with vampires.
You get to like, I mean, I don't know how these games are going to work exactly,
but like, I don't know, there's a whole silver mechanic and like the whole cross and all this,
you know, the steak and like this.
They live from Castlevania that vampires are cool again.
It's more, okay with that.
It's just more interesting than zombie game number 578.
As excited as I am for Back for Blood because it's like a...
That is, uh,
something that made me really scream.
Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun with that one.
Hopefully it's good.
I have no reason to believe it wouldn't be.
It's the same studio.
It's going to at least be fun.
It's going to at least be fun.
That's all I want for me.
It doesn't have to be stunning anywhere.
It has to be fun.
Most games that, like, copy Left for Dead are pretty solid.
Like, even World War Z, that wasn't bad at all.
Like, it was a bit, like,
they went a little bit overboard with, like, the weapon customization.
It was, like, attachment, this will boost damage.
And it's like, I don't really care about damage in Left for Dead.
It's just more about,
like the horde and like the bosses that come by every now and again like i don't i don't care if
this attachment is going to give me like plus six damage like i don't i just don't give a shit about
that shit that's the RPG aspect of shit that people like okay i'm gonna say this is it makes
it really upset to say but so many games that are RPGs don't need that aspect of it it just
needs like at the addition i love role playing games right but if you're going to give me RPG i want
in deft RPG. I don't want like
this is plus damage.
This is plus damage reduction.
Oh, fire. No, I want like real
deep customization. Like I want like
to really be able to change their
my character's function. Opposed
like this character is just going to shoot, but
there's going to be these airport different abilities
that come from him or like stuff like that.
Like I want like real RPG shit.
So like I don't really like that
everything needs to do that now.
Yeah. It's... Like God of
War, I didn't think it needed the
RPG aspect of it. Like, I don't, I don't, it's
unnecessary, you know? Yeah, I paid very, very, very
little attention to that. Like, I, like, I
like, like, skill trees are fun. Like,
I think they're fine. Like, in Ratchet and Clank, there's, like,
your weapons upgrade over time and it's like, all right,
that's fun. That's fun.
Yeah, like, but that's as deep
as it should go, I feel like, and even for a game, like,
back for blood, which is supposed to be
Leffordead. The whole fun of Leffordet is that it's
very approachable, and you can pick it up
and you immediately know how to, how to
play, you know what a gun does
because of the kind of gun it is,
It doesn't need this weird knowledge of like attachments and like, oh, this one is a silencer.
So it does this instead.
It's like, no, just listen.
Just put a gun in front of me, have it function consistently so I can get excited when I see it on the map at some point.
And just let me have fun shooting zombies with my friends.
Or give me different bits of equipment that I can use.
Like the Molotov and the fucking boomer bile and the, you know.
Let the things that happen from the weapons be done visibly or physically.
Like, you pick up a gun, you pick a pistol as a silencer on it.
By nature of knowing what a silencer is, this pistol is quieter than a normal pistol.
Yeah.
You don't got to give me a whole stat sheet spread of like, oh, take this off.
Customize, here's this.
That came from, unfortunately, the game that started that shit was Modern Warfare 2.
The first game that really started the whole, like, oh, this does all this different stuff.
And, like, look at that.
And this is like, we don't need that.
I just, you shouldn't ever be in a situation where, like, you can have a,
default sniper rifle and then
soup up, put a scope on a pistol
and up the damage on a pistol to the point
where it's basically the same thing.
Like, weapons have roles,
and that's kind of like why
Leopardet is so good and why a lot of other
sandbox driven FPS is so good. And why I think this is probably
going to be good too. I don't think they've talked about
RPG mechanics exactly, but I hope
if they're in there, they're minimal as possible.
Back for Blood was cool. Looking forward to that.
What's next?
What else?
Well, we could talk about Nintendo
since they went most recently
Nintendo and Xbox last.
Well, they did good.
That is true.
So what's, that is true.
Yeah, what's the worst?
Let me look up.
Man, I'm trying to remember
like what the worst shit.
I feel like we blocked so much shit out
because we were like, oh, that's stupid.
Well,
I'll go to the score page.
I'll go to gaming real quick.
I'm trying to like really,
I feel like nothing was,
nothing outside of what we already just talked about
was really mad.
Particularly bad.
It was just that thing,
were either like kind of uninteresting or you know fine oh i'll voice one of my own personal
um our gripes because i've been talking about it for the last like two weeks but there was
no information about balders gate three from malarian studios and that really really really
bothered me because i want some sort of information for that game we told you you weren't going to
get it i told you i was so upset because we have one friend who's like properly involved in that
business and he was like he was supposed to be there actually and he was like
He was like, I don't think there's going to be anything, man.
And I was like, just let me have faith.
And there was nothing.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay.
I'd never owned a vintage camera before.
There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary
in a world where everything lives on our phones.
But I wanted to change that.
So I started the hunt for a point-and-shoot camera.
When I finally found the perfect one on eBay,
I didn't keep it to myself.
I left it out on a table.
Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking,
family, friends, everyone to take a photo of whatever felt important to them in that moment.
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and pass along things you no longer need
so they can become part of someone else's memories.
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So for all my D&D fans out there,
my Larian studio fans,
we got a little bit longer before we get the game.
but just keep keep it in your prayers we will play balder's gate soon yeah soon well don't let me
don't say that that makes me sad square enix went they showed like 20 minutes of guardians of the galaxy
which i just didn't give a shit about i don't know how you felt about that did you even see that i didn't
really see it um i didn't see it uh my friend said it looks cool i hope it's actually a game and not just
half a game like Avengers was.
It's a single player.
It's a, so it's a single player game.
You play a Star Lord.
You command the other Guardians.
So it's like, uh,
Tor about tactics, I guess.
So,
it looks like God of War,
except like,
your Star Lord and Square is Atreus
and,
or Square is like, you know,
I was going to say,
Dricks from fucking Ozzy and Dricks.
DRAX.
And like, you know,
you can summon your,
you're, it looks, I don't really understand it.
It looks a little janky.
It looks like a Marvel game.
Like it looks fine.
There's nothing bad about it necessarily.
And there's like some telltale elements to it too where like there are conversations that you can choose different pads on.
And then like it'll say like, you know, Rocket will remember this or whatever the fuck.
Rocket will remember that you shot him.
Yeah, something like that.
Like it looks interesting.
I just, I don't think I needed 20 minutes on it because then they immediately went to do another Marvel thing that I can't.
even fucking remember.
Okay.
And then...
Is that about it?
That's pretty much it from everybody that isn't the main two.
Sony didn't go, obviously.
Well, they went in a weird way where they were like, hey, here's Death Stranding Directors
Cut and that had like a weird Metal Gear Solid reference that...
I'm pretty sure...
I'm pretty sure that's like a Telegraph.
I'm pretty sure that...
I think it's a Telegraph to a Metal Gear Solid remake.
They've been...
talking about that for a while.
So, I don't know.
But that's really it.
I'll let you handle Xbox, and I'll do Nintendo.
Yeah.
So I thought Microsoft had a pretty good show.
They started with Starfield, which, you know, is a game that people care about.
Like, look, I like to talk shit on Bethesda a lot, like, especially for Fault 76,
which I think outside of the map design of it is a complete fucking disaster.
K.L. loves that.
What?
Well, Cal, I shouldn't say that.
Cale hated it at first, but he's played a lot of 76.
He loves Fallout.
You know Cale.
Like, he's a fucking Fallout nerd.
But, so, look, Fallout 76 is janky.
Fallout 4 was not the best.
But I really like Skyrim.
I really like Fallout 3.
I, even, to be honest, I enjoyed myself with Fallout 4, even though it wasn't that great.
Same.
I had a good time with it.
It was like, it felt less like a,
RPG, sure, but it felt like, wow, this is a really fun open world single-player FPS, is kind of how I
felt about it. And I thought it was pretty good. And Far Harbor is apparently really good also,
but I haven't... So it was right as a Tometons, man. It's not bad. I haven't looked into those because I fell
off it by that time. But the point is, it's easy to poke find at Bethesda, but for whatever
reason, whenever there's a new Bethesda game, ever since Fall 3, I've just been kind of excited to
see whatever the hell it is. And I'm probably going to play it, and I'm probably going to have a really
good time with it. It's going to be janky. It's going to be busted. You know, but as long as it's not
this, as long as it's not Bethesda being like, hey, this is a multiplayer game. They just can't do it.
They can't do multiplayer. They're not built for that. They need to stop. And as long as this is a
single player game, I have confidence that it will be at least pretty good and pretty entertaining.
that has a date of
I think November 11th
2022 so exactly
11 years after Skyrim
exactly that's kind of cool
and then
I think they had a consistently strong showcase
there's not a lot of stuff that I remember specifically
but nothing in that show made me
be like ah there was this one thing
called party animals that was like
that looks like fall guys or whatever the hell
I don't really care about that but
they showed
Oh my God, I'm trying to remember exactly everything.
They showed, I know they showed Back for Blood coming to Game Pass.
They showed that beautiful fucking FISA game, which I think it looks insane.
I could have gone for not 10 minutes of in-depth gameplay of Forsa.
It was a lot.
Don't get me wrong, but it is beautiful.
It is a beautiful looking game.
And there's a lot of cool Game Pass shit coming because Game Pass is fucking crazy good.
I don't understand.
There were psychonaut information too
Psychonauts too, which looks fucking sick.
They did a pretty good job.
Halo obviously was the big thing for me.
I'm very pleased with everything I'm seeing out of that.
Even with Sprint and shit being in there, which obviously...
Even with them moving fast and me not liking moving fast movement.
Well, they actually move kind of slow, even with Sprint.
And, like, you can shoot directly out of Sprint, so it's not like a huge hindrance.
Oh, really?
Is it like Destiny where it's like you go right out of Sprint and you can use a weapon?
Yeah, it looks even faster than Destiny actually.
That's great.
So it looks really good.
It looks like they're focusing on the sandbox again.
It looks like the first proper sequel to Halo 3 that we've ever had.
Halo 4 was just this fucking...
It was just that it was a sequel to Halo Reach, which it never should have been.
And I'm looking forward to it.
I hope there's a beta soon.
Somehow they dated Starfield for next year, but they didn't date Halo for this year.
Don't know what the fuck's going on with that.
Might be delayed.
That would be unfortunate.
Again, that'd be really bad.
I wonder if they could get away with like putting out the campaign or multiplayer first.
If they put the multiplier first, people will shut the fuck up.
People will shut up.
People will clean shut the fuck up.
Probably.
I want that story to be good.
It looks pretty fucking good from what I've seen.
But like, you know, we can't tell from how little we've seen.
What I am mostly excited for is the back to basic designs of the weapons.
Yeah.
That is what made me really happy.
Seeing the pistols design is returned back to a very smooth streamline.
form of what ones was maybe really happy i was so guys granted five years ago i did not understand
true halo design but i've lived with chris for more than half a decade so i have a very uh i have an eye
like i can pick out each armor based on a game now which is really sad you know i don't even remember
my girlfriend's birthday all the time but i can look at i can look at halar and be like oh that's halo
four armor i can tell because there's far too many lines and jagged points this is halo five armor
because everything's so bulky,
and I can tell one, two, and three
simply by the resolution.
So that's sad.
They've all got different art, man.
But I'm happy with what I've seen.
I'm excited to play the beta whenever that comes out.
I think they said summer.
So in the next, like, too,
I expect by August.
Like, there's no way they're going to...
I have to sign up for that thing
so I can be able to get the beta action.
I'm going to do that right.
Well, yeah, I'll remind you
so you can do it after the show.
But I'm really happy with Halo
if anybody was curious.
I'm sure there's some people who were.
they showed Stalker 2 which looks pretty beautiful as well
Microsoft Flight Simulator
You know that's a thing that people really like
I could there was always too much for me
Replaced which I think looks fucking gorgeous
If anybody hasn't seen that game
It looks like fucking like pixel art
It looks like pixel art
Octopath Traveler Steampunk Castlevania
Which is like it looks so fucking
Because I like the art, the transition of art style into combat
Yeah
Way cool so I'm excited for that
And then they show
fucking, you know, Plague Tale has a sequel.
I've heard the first Playtale is really good.
I want to play it.
I heard it's pretty short, too.
But that exists.
Red Fall, which is the thing that they ended on.
Wasn't super stoked on that because they didn't show any gameplay of it.
It was just like the cinematic teaser.
Whatever.
I'll be excited when I see gameplay of it.
But, you know, it's Arcane, so it's probably going to be pretty good.
Arcane hasn't made a bad game outside of that fucking Wolfenstein.
That was just not ideal.
Do maternal upgrade next gen.
A bunch of little other things.
But overall, I think they had a pretty good showcase.
Nintendo also had a pretty good showcase, I thought.
Some stuff that surprised me, I wasn't expecting fucking a 2D Metroid.
That is, that is what got me the happiest.
I went breath in a wild too really badly.
But as anyone knows me, I am a gigantic Metroidvania fan.
So seeing that again is what sent me over the moon.
it looks really good.
It looks like it's just more of Sammas's return,
just polished up and put on the switch,
which is already a good idea.
I'm excited for all the new movement apps.
It's a lot that goes into it,
and I'm really excited.
They show it like 20 minutes
or 30 minutes of gameplay.
I checked last,
which seemed really good.
It was like a gameplay demo.
They didn't give us any information
about when it was coming out.
No, like I said,
it says October, right?
For Metroid?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it was,
I'm fairly certain it was,
October I'll check October 8th yeah yeah so October so I'm really really excited
about that along with that they also talked about Super Mario Party superstars
which is pretty much Mario Party but they're bringing back a bunch of old maps from 64
which is one of the crowd favorites yeah putting it into the new game so I enjoy that
that's gonna be really cool I'm excited to just play more stuff you know it's not like a
hold on you know it's you know it's crazy I'm I for whatever reason I found myself getting kind
excited about what the fuck, WarioWare.
Warrior is a classic.
Because I, I, I only played one WarioWare game on the, I think it was Warrior Wear
touched on the DS.
And I fucking loved that game.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay.
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To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.
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It's so weird.
But I have this weird soft spot for Warrior where it's like, ah, I like this.
It's dumb.
There's no reason they should have made another one of these.
But I'm glad they did it anyway.
Advance Wars, too.
Advance Wars.
Yeah, Advanced War was one and two.
I thought that was kind of cool.
Joe's always talking about that game.
I never got into it.
But if that was like, oh my God, the smash reveal of Kazuya was insane.
The fighting game community was like, yay.
And I was like, oh, I know who that is.
That guy's really cool.
And a lot of the smashers were like, that's not a big tit anime, girl.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
It's like, well, the smash community, the worst community in video games probably.
So a Super Monkey Ball.
I never played those games.
What?
I never played those games.
The Super Monkey Ball.
I never had a...
The last Nintendo...
So here's what it is.
The...
I went from the NES...
As far as like Nintendo consoles go,
I went from the NES to the Wii
to the Switch.
I never owned a GameCube.
I never owned a Wii U.
I never owned an SNS or 64.
I had a 64 until like...
I bought a 64 in like 2012
to play shit.
But, you know, I didn't...
I just never got it into the...
these games. I know what they are though because I've seen there was this Xbox Live
arcade game that I played all the time that was basically this. It was like a Marbleast
Ultra which by the way was awesome and I would love for that to be backwards compatible somehow.
Like I would play the shit out of Marvel Blast Ultra. It was so frustrating and good.
But yeah, new Monkey Ball. Dragon Ball Caccarat is coming also like if that's exciting to
People.
Mishama Tensei 5 is a really big thing.
People are excited for.
Yeah.
I'm kind of over my JRP phase, but Shima Gama Tensei is the original parent series to Persona.
So if you like those kinds of like kind of darker, gloomy, you know, sort of Japanese mythology games, you probably like that.
They got Dangan Rompah is another very much so with JRP.
Colin.
Colin loves Dengen Rompah.
Colin Mori likes Dangan Rampa?
He loves Dangan Rampa.
What?
Can't stop talking about it.
Every time I come over his house, he goes.
Chris, you got to play Dengarava, man.
You got to play Dengrova, man.
And then he tells me something about Sony Liverpool
and how they were shut down.
We got Fatal Frame made in the Blackwater, too.
Fatal Frame, I'm pictures of a remake of Fatal Frame 2 or 1.
So it's a remake of something.
See, I liked Fatal Frame,
but I don't know if I liked this one.
I think something about this one was weird
because Made in Blackwater, I think, is like the worst Fatal Frame game,
so it's weird that they're, it's weird that they're like remastering.
Because I remember playing Fatal Frame on the GameCube.
I played it.
I was the only one ever played.
I played it on PS3 with backwards compatibility.
So, like, I don't know.
You probably played the same one.
We might have.
I played two, I think.
Yeah, same.
So I don't remember if this is good or not, but it's Fatal Frame.
You know, it's a unique kind of game for a certain kind of group.
So that's thing.
There's a cloud version of fucking Guardians of the Galaxy.
coming to Switch, which
weird.
Cloud?
Yeah, so this is actually, like, real.
Like, so they've been, for games that are just too powerful
for the Switch to run,
they've been finding ways for Nintendo to run them off of servers.
From, like, the...
So, like, basically, like, there's a cloud version of control
that you can buy on the Switch.
Now, like, right now,
like, it's been out for a while.
I don't know how it runs, because I'm sure it depends on Internet
and all this all this weird shit.
But that's one way that I,
I guess the switch is going to try and keep up by like still.
Because the PlayStation 4 doesn't even around control the best.
Yeah.
So I could imagine playing it on a switch in any capacity.
It's probably tough.
But yeah, overall, like, you know, nothing crazy.
They ended with Breath of the Wild, but not really enough for me to get excited about it personally.
It's just, you know, they just showed that it existed.
And you get a little bit more details.
It's like, oh, you can go up into the skies of Hyrule, which is, like, neat.
I'm sure there'll be, like, some dragon or something that you could fly or, like, some weird shit like that.
air traversal but overall excited I'm I think I think Nintendo had a pretty solid
showcase yeah it was the the Metroid thing was what put me over the top of this
is like oh this is insane I feel like Xbox and Nintendo both came there and played
basketball and everybody else was kind of just like yeah everybody else just didn't know
what the fuck they were doing I couldn't but it's a pandemic dude fucking
gearbox with Randy Pitchford running around like a movie set for the
Borderlands movie like harassing Eli Roth and Kevin Hart and just like
it's just and he would he dude he would ask people questions then he would like talk over them as they were
answering like he would just talk over like eli roth and shit and it's just like what the fuck are you doing
you just look like an asshole uh this randy pitchford is so unlikable more like border dams you know
he's just so fucking unlikable man like it's it's wild but you know i think he i think he uh blocked me
on twitter really oh my god it's ass i think his at is like duval
magic or something?
Yeah, yeah, he blocked me.
Oh, well.
What a shame.
I'm blocked by Randy Pitchford.
They did have a Borderlands announcement
of Tiny Tina's Wonderland, which looks kind of,
you know, looks neat if you're into borderlands.
That's a magic one, right?
Yeah, it's like Borderlands, but like it's new.
It's like a jumping in point.
It's like in a fantasy setting.
It's like that could be fun.
I could see that being kind of neat.
But overall,
overall, I'd say Microsoft and Nintendo had the only,
real presence there that was of any consequence.
No new hardware for the switch, so, you know.
Yeah, very sad, but I'm pretty sure they're going to announce that probably, I don't know,
maybe in Christmas time so we can get it in March like the switch.
Let's hope because this console needs a power up desperately.
But even if it gets it, it's not going to be nearly as powerful as a PS5 or Series X.
That's kind of the issue.
I'm fine with that, but 60 frames portable is fine for me.
That's a perfect place to exist in a portable wear.
That would be pretty amazing.
But because
120 is now very much so attainable
On both the consoles
Like it's not even hard to push that
Because that's all I was talking about
I'm pretty sure Ratchet can get up to 120
So no no I don't think I don't think it can
Not that one
No not Ratchet to 120 I don't know
I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure it's it's a max
60 yeah yeah
No it is it is because it had a fidelity form
That was 60 I think
Yeah
I think because
He was just Dustin, who's somebody who does Secret Symbols with me, he was like, yeah, it's, um, there was like a glitch where it was like registering 120 and it was like fucking with the, what does it call it, the HDR or whatever the fuck?
Because it's not meant to run that way.
But Raging and Clank is, by the way, really good.
Amazing.
Fucking, did you get to the part with the giant robot yet?
I mean, yes.
Like when you're running the rail, riding the rails around the giant robot?
I don't know.
that part is that game is visually wild yeah it's super sunny
the fur looks great the voice acting it's just a good game i'm just like oh they just did a good job
on this i'm proud of them yeah and somni ex killing it and they just put out miles
marales too like it's fucking that's true mosmeralus was fucking on the ps5 it was a treat i played
on the ps4 and it was like good but the ps5 it was like out of this world it's getting
to a point where like i'm trying to like look at games that i used to play and i'm like how the
fuck did I stomach this?
Like, how did I stomach 30 frames per second ever?
It's jarring, bro.
Dude, because I even tried it on Ratchet and Clank where I was like, oh, let me see what
Fidelity mode is like, you know?
And when you pause it, yeah, it looks fucking gorgeous.
Like, unreal how good it looks.
But it feels like shit to play.
I can't do that, dude.
I noticed that first when Destiny switched 1 to 60, and then I went back into
the plate on PS4, and I was like, this is.
horrendous.
Yeah, playing Destiny on PC versus
PS4 is like,
it's insane. I couldn't go back.
It was like,
you remember when I was just like,
I can't play with you.
I can't,
I can't do it.
It's so fucking bad, man.
Like,
I don't know how people,
I,
you're stronger than me,
my friend.
I would rather just play the game
and have it look like a PS1 game
than,
then play it at that fucking frame rate,
man,
like sincerely.
I can't do 30 frames anymore.
And that's what bothers me
about Nintendo.
like the whole they had the uh the ancient gods uh thing and i was like oh cool i love doom eternal
i beat it like a like a few months ago and i even beat like most of the dc and i was like oh
i can't imagine not playing this on at least a computer because like i played it on pc and on
it looks wild even better than it does on consoles so like playing it on a switch just looks this seems
painful to me.
Wait, wait, what are you talking about?
Playing Doom not on a computer.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doom on the Switch is the worst
version, without a doubt. Like, it's, it's like playing
Witch, it's like playing Witcher 3 on a fucking switch.
It's just like, don't do that. Like, you might as
well just, you might as well just not play
that, you know? Use your Switch
for, like, is Tetris Effect on Switch?
Is it? It should be.
I feel like it should be. Just play that.
That's a perfect switch game, actually.
Play Tetris, yeah, play Tetris Effect, because that game is
fucking perfect.
Anyway,
It's pretty much all we had to say for E3.
Like, overall, I would say it was kind of terrible.
Yo, it's not on a Switch.
Is it really not?
That's such a waste.
That's a perfect Switch game.
It is a perfect Switch game.
Oh, well.
This game could make the Switch a better console, actually, if it was on there.
Tetris Effect is so good.
Like, I remember you were, you would like, were you playing Tetris, and now you actually fucking play it.
I love that game.
I play it more than you do probably now.
Yeah, it's good.
It's a fucking great game.
fucking good. But I think that's all we have to say about E3 is, in my opinion, I think it was just
kind of like overall kind of bland, even if the show case, the showings from the two big ones
were pretty satisfactory, I thought, and pretty good. And, you know, there's a lot of shit
to look forward to over, oh, I didn't even talk about like the outer worlds too got confirmed and
shit like that. It's like, there's a lot of shit to look forward to, I think. But overall,
I feel like usually everybody comes with at least one thing that's worth paying.
attention to you know take two with red dead and and fucking you know uh microsoft with
fucking hey here's avowed or like hey here's you know um Nintendo with Metroid Prime or whatever
the fuck like usually there's something with everybody but this time it just really felt like it
was just Microsoft and Nintendo that had anything worth showing and fucking everybody else just
went there with like shit in their pants and just expected I got scared I got really scared
because they brought, what's his name out?
The guy that created Zelda.
And they talked about the game and watch.
And I was like, they better fucking not do it again.
That was so stupid.
They would not do that again.
And I was like, and it was like, oh, also, here's some news.
And I was like, thank God.
If they would have just not said anything about Zelda, I'm like, yo, they're actually insane.
I wonder if that game's going to come out in 2022 because it's like.
Breath of a while?
Yeah.
It said 2022 for my mistaken.
I mean, you know, got a word said 2021.
you know so like i mean everything is and you know how dude how long did fucking kingdom hearts three
get delayed like it's fucking hilarious like every that was the the final fantasy fucking what
you call it for seven also yeah but but dude oh my god i fucking i i hate kingdom hearts
specifically because it was the bane of my existence every year for every e3 because i was like
i i've never been like um like a huge fanboy of a console like i have
Like, I have everything and I play on everything.
But I was definitely more of an Xbox kid early on in the generation where, like, that was like where most of the games that I would play was.
There was my main account.
I didn't really get involved in PlayStation ecosystem until, like, PS4 Pro came out.
So, like, you know, I always, like appreciated a lot of what I saw out of Xbox's conferences.
And then every year, I would have people over and some of them would be Sony kids.
And they would be like, oh, they showed Kingdom.
Hearts so they won.
And they showed Kingdom Hearts
every fucking year
for like five years.
And it was so irritating. Just like
but they showed Kingdom Hearts again. It's like
that was way better than Sunset Overdrive.
I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Again? They're dangling
this fucking carrot in front of you.
I remember those years. I remember
that. I remember the last one we had in like
2013 or 14.
14, I think.
And you were like, what are you fucking talking about?
about such an overtime looks better.
And then me, it was me, Joe and Elliot,
that were like, nah, dude, you're fucking crazy, man.
Kingdom Hearts looks so good.
Dude, I, and they just, every year,
they were like, as long as they show me Kingdom Hearts,
I'm happy.
And it's like, Jesus, you poor people.
It was really bad, bro.
You just whipped into this dependency on, like, seeing Kingdom.
And then you got it, and it was fucking just okay at best.
Kingdom Hearts 3, Kingdom Hearts 3,
made me grow up as a person of how bad it was.
It stole the youth from inside of me how bad it was.
Like after, because I played that game right after I played Red Dead too.
And that's what did it for me.
I played Red Dead too.
And I was like, okay, no much, let me play this.
And I played it.
And I was like, yo, this game sucks.
That's a jarring switch also.
This game is really bad.
Yeah.
And then I tried to play Kingdom Hearts 1 again.
And I played that while I played Divinity.
And I was like, whoa, this game sucks.
That's a rough moment.
Are they all just bad?
That's a sad moment of realization.
Like, I remember thinking, like, when I was a kid, I remember thinking like, whoa, Duke Nukem, Land of the Babes is pretty fun.
And then I played it like 15 years later.
And I was like, this, I can't believe I had as much fun.
with this as I had.
Where did you have that fun?
Like,
where was all this at?
Like,
where was this,
this joy and happiness at?
Because, like,
I can't find it.
I can't find it here.
Like,
it's not,
it's nowhere to be seen.
Like,
what's going on?
It's,
it is amusing.
I'll give it that.
But, like,
I was having unironic fun,
like with it.
I was like,
this is great.
Who needs metal arms
a glitch in the system
when I have this?
By the way,
that's a great game
that I,
I miss very dearly.
It was just like,
Kingdom art is so good.
Like, this is the best storytelling other.
And then you listen to the first, like, six minutes of dialogue in Divinity.
You're like, this can't be the same world.
Yeah.
This can't be the same.
One thing I will say, I kind of wish they would come out with, like, a GameCube, you know what I mean?
Like, a GameCube virtual console.
Like, because there's a lot of shit that I would love to play on the game.
Like, I just said Metal Arms.
But, like, that's a game like I fucking...
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I don't even remember if I love it, you know,
but like because I borrowed my GameCube from like an uncle of mine.
And that was one of the games I played.
And I remember like really liking it.
And I've never been able to find it again.
They never re-release it or anything.
And I remember having a good time with that.
I would like to see it again.
but I would say that the GameCube and a Game Boy advance are such untapped wealths of like consistently like the GameCube is very Japanese like I don't know what the fuck is this.
The sky's roaring outside of our fucking apartment.
Yeah.
But the GameCube and a Game Boy had so many like particularly the GameCube had a lot of like very J like Japanese oriented video games that were like were really cool and be very cool to have over into American like ecosystem.
But the Game Boy Advance had like consistently like amazing video games that we just we should just have.
Yeah, it's a shame.
So we need, like I we should just complain at them until we get it.
But the thing is that we complain about online and they still haven't even thought about changing that yet.
Yeah, they're never going to do it.
So because like in Japan, the online system, online works well over in Japan.
Like it's proper.
So they don't need it over there.
But for us, we really fucking need it.
It's insane.
Because it got to the point that me and Bent, we literally are going to download a program on our computers so we can just play Smash Ultimate VR computers.
Instead of the online thing proper.
Yeah.
Well, you bought the game already, so you're not stealing.
Yeah.
So it's...
Yeah.
I can't disagree with that.
It's pretty fucking crazy.
Nintendo.
I want you guys.
the win and you released Metroid and that gave me faith that restored my faith in the force
it was like when oh it's like when it's like when han started believing in the force he was like
oh shit maybe this has something to it it did that for me but i just need you guys to listen
a little more to us i'm gonna say something it might be controversial some people listening
and they can tell me if it is uh that 2d metroid looks cool but i i i i i
I don't believe for a second that Metroid Prime 4 isn't going to disappoint people.
I don't think that Nintendo can make a better FPS than Id than Bungee.
Fuck, even Halo Infinite looks like it's probably going to be pretty fucking good.
So, like, I just, my confidence in their ability to break new ground in the FPS space,
while they're sharing a stage with like
really seasoned champions of that genre
who have more or less defined it
like Bungy
is killing like but dude
Destiny 2 still plays fucking beautifully
like still like a dream like a fucking dream
like just moving around like it's a 2017 game
it looks good still it plays good still
like this is fucking
industry leading shit and now like you know
id also like came back into the forefront the fucking fathers of first person shooters came back and
somehow made something amazing twice uh i can't imagine
metro prime even coming close to being even half as good as like doom eternal like i can't
imagine it metro my thing about metro is that i played the metro games when i was little i played
prime one two i think it was up to four was up to four was up to three i don't remember if it's
three or four but I remember playing both those games all most of those games and I was like
these are really cool games but they are so like they're so strange for the like even for
the time they were like strange video games so I think in all fairness like I think it got
delayed because they were like this is not going to be a good enough game to really put out
to the market right now they have to pay to their strengths but I don't know if they have the
strength for that game that's why I'm more happy about the two-d-d-
Metroid because that's the games I play.
I don't go to Nintendo for
shooting. I go to Nintendo for
platforming or fun party
games or like smash or something.
So we'll just see. We'll see what happens.
You know, the first
well I guess I did play Super Metroid
like a long, long, long, long time ago at like my cousin's
house or whatever. But the first
and only game that I owned
that was a Metroid game
was Metroid Prime Hunters
on the Nintendo DM.
which
it launched with the DS or it launched with like a demo
I know that because that's what I had it was like oh man
Ventroid Prime like this looks kind of cool looks like Halo
kind of and I was playing it and I was like
okay
this is a game that a lot of people like
you know it's got a 9 out of 10 on IGN
4.6 out of 5 on Hebei
I didn't know they had that but 4.1 out of 5 on GameStop
really people love that game.
I thought it was just fucking garbage.
And maybe it's just, I wasn't used to FPSs on fucking the DS,
which are inherently just not going to be as good as like a console or like a PC.
But that was a rough one.
So, I don't know, my faith in Metroid Prime in general is like,
I'm glad they're making a new one, but this, like, Metroid Dread looks way cooler to me.
Dread looks like a fucking bob.
Looks like a proper game.
And the aspect of you being chased, because if you guys have played Fusion or other,
is it Fusion or?
I don't know.
It might be Fusion.
Where you're running away from Dark Samis the whole game, it's such a, it's such an insane feeling in the encounters.
They're like, oh, I'm claustrophobic.
It's like a Resident Evil-esque.
Yeah, yeah.
It's being, like, trapped.
So I like the idea.
I think Dred's going to be.
Dred's where I'm really excited for it.
Yeah.
Other than Breath of the Wild, obviously.
I'm really, really looking forward to Dred.
I agree.
Anyway, we've talked about it quite a bit.
We're an hour 30 in.
Let's get into some questions.
We can breeze through some of these pretty quick.
James Passmore.
James Passmore wrote, and he says,
Hello, Cunts, I am writing because I hear you guys trash the Call of Duty series relentlessly all the time on your podcast.
This disappoints me greatly because I never heard you talk about the zombies mode.
And in a previous episode, you talked about how horrid survival modes are awesome.
Are you aware Call of Duty had such a mode?
So, yes.
I am deeply aware
Are you aware
Call of Duty has a zombie mode?
Like what?
I look
I understand
that Call of Duty has a zombie mode
I remember playing it
when people wanted me
to jump on with them
and I would play it
and I just didn't like it
I didn't like the whole like
I didn't like it
zombies?
I was well yeah
well you have to understand
I was playing like
around the time zombies came out
this was probably
2009
2008
2009
I think.
I'm fairly certain.
I could be wrong, but I have...
No, 2009, 2008, yeah.
Maybe even seven.
It was World at War, so...
That was the first one.
Call of Duty, World at War.
Release date.
Release date, come on.
Seven.
Yeah.
November 8th, November 11th, 2008.
Oh, eight?
Yeah, because 2007, I remember was Call of Duty 4,
because Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 were, like,
the biggest things at the time that they came out.
And I remember I would always like switch between him.
But yeah, the next year, 2008 was World at War.
And 2008 was also the year that a little game came out.
Don't know if you know this.
By the name of Left for Dead.
Left for Dead came out literally six days later.
And there was just no fucking contest.
Like, I couldn't, if people were like, you want to play a zombie game and it wasn't left for dead, I didn't understand what the fucking point was.
Like, you're just going to sit in like this weird basement in a Call of Duty map and you're going to like do this weird Minecraft shit where you're going to like, oh, I got to fix the windows so they don't come in here.
And there's like a little crate with like a magic box where you randomize weapon.
It just felt so wacky and weird.
I didn't like it.
Like that all?
I didn't like.
And also, just in general, I just don't like the way the Call Duty feels as an FPS.
I don't like...
It feels hollow, yes.
Shooting zombies in the head and them not dying instantly just felt wrong to me.
Like, even just everything from, like, the way that zombies reacted to bullet impacts felt wrong.
Like, it all just didn't feel right, whereas, like, Leffordead was doing all the shit that was right.
Like, you were, like, moving through a level, and you got to play as the zombies.
and, you know, it was just so much more interesting to me than defending a basement.
Like, I like Horde mode, and I think, I think Gears of War II did Horde mode the best.
Like, even Firefight in ODST, which, like, I enjoy, you know, it's not nearly as good as Gears of War's
Horde mode.
Gears 2, Gears 2 is something special.
That's a special kind of horde mode.
Like, that was the pinnacle.
Like, that's how you know what a good horde mode is.
but I liked Black Ops too
Zombie Mort a lot
When you played as George
You fought against Georgia or Mero
But he had like the light
And he was like frozen in the lake
Like I really liked that one
I didn't like World of War that much
I liked the one obviousness
Where everyone played Kinder
Or King or Tateon or whatever it is
Yeah something
Or whatever was
Something like that
But everyone played us
So I like those games
But I have to admit that
I also was more of a fan
Of Left or Dead
Because of just
The silliness of that
game. They inherit like kind of charm of that game. I also. This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress
with Sophia Bush. Check out this special moment we did on our show presented by eBay. When I was living in
Chicago, I took part in my first ever giant charity sale and I was able to auction several
items from my personal closet on eBay. They were items that marked huge moments in my life and in my
career and though I was ready to pass them along, I also wanted to make sure they were going to
someone who would love them. One of the things I loved them most about doing this with eBay is there
was a way for everyone to shop. It wound up being so much fun to see where each and every item was
going, where it was going to be loved. And in passing items along like that, authenticity really matters
to the person who's getting them. That's why I love eBay's authenticity guarantee. They weren't just
listing my items. They were verifying them, making sure something was genuinely from where it claimed
to be, in this case, my closet. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your
podcasts. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love.
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Similar to you, I don't like how Call the Duty feels.
It feels like I'm shooting bullets at the image of a zombie
and sometimes the zombie's image gets hurt
opposed to me literally riddling something with bullets.
I always feels empty to me.
Yeah.
But we have played them.
I do enjoy zombies.
I remember when I learned how to actually like trails on,
like you finally learn how to trail zombies,
you can like keep looping around and not really doing anything
and shooting a few of them.
Like I remember when I learned that and I was like, oh shit,
this is so fucking cool.
I can actually play this game.
And then we started making it to like actually higher levels.
But then like the zombies just start getting like the fact that it's just you die.
Like that's the point of the game.
Kind of disillusioned me.
and I was like, I don't really want to play this anymore.
But zombies isn't bad, dude.
We respect zombies for what it is.
We just don't like Call of Duty that much.
Zombies, I think, is objectively the best thing in Call of Duty as far as, like, quality.
What about War Zone?
Well, I guess people like that, too.
I honestly haven't played it.
I'm not into Battle Royale in general, so, like, I'm probably not going to.
But I've heard that that's pretty good as well.
As far as Battle Royals, I think Apex is the one that I enjoy the most.
It just feels like the most like a video game to me.
But, and it also, by the way, it also has a proper arena mode, so it's not just fucking...
Oh, it does?
Yeah, they added, I've been meaning to, I should do this, actually.
I might do it on stream today, but...
I'll play with if you play.
Maybe not today, but, like, tomorrow we should do it.
I'll, yeah, maybe.
Because they added, like, a proper, like, team-based, like, 4V4 style, or, like, I don't know if it's 4V4, but, like, that general style, like, team death match, whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
They added an arena mode to it, which is good, because that means, you know, my biggest frustration.
with a lot of battle royals is that like oh this plays kind of well i wish i didn't have to like
play it in this weird like permadeath way where like everything's randomized and some games are
just completely useless and some games i win and some games are just like really unfun and i don't get
to actually engage with the combat at all um so yeah i'm probably going to check that out but yeah no i'm
aware of zombies it's fine i it's just you know with lefford dead and even as far as far as
far as like horde mode goes like i don't know firefight and and hoard mode from gears too
even stuff like recently like dude dying light like there's just there's there's too many good
zombie games now for me to just default to uh into zombies if i just don't like the way call
duty feels but thanks for thanks for writing in we we appreciate you uh let's see let's see let's see let's see
this is fucking what nicky zingie
he wrote in, Greetings my windows into the strange mind of men.
I have a gender specific question for you.
Question.
Is it normal for guys to send pictures and videos of themselves pissing and defecating to one another?
My boyfriend told me his friend sent them a picture of a long turd he made, and my response naturally was, what the actual fuck?
And he told me that it's totally normal, just like comparing sizes.
which is also still kind of weird to me.
I have bad news.
This is not normal even slightly.
I have never once...
Are you going to disagree?
I've had male friends my whole life,
and I've never sent them pictures of me shitting.
You know what's crazy?
I had a conversation at one of my friends,
where they were like, you haven't shown you.
You haven't seen your roommate's dicks,
and I was like, no.
Is that weird?
Like, yeah, that's so fucking strange.
And I'm like, no, it's not.
Like, what?
Why would I just show my friend my dick?
That's just, that's actually harassing him.
And he was just like, no, dude, that's his regular friendship, bro.
And I'm like, that's fucking baffling to hear.
That's like assault.
That's really bizarre.
People are strange, dude.
I can't even comprehend how that's just, like, do you not have.
doors do you just not like
I just can't even imagine
a scenario where I would even
see something like that because we all
we all have rooms
that's so disrespectful and
aggressive and rude
it's just weird do that
Ziggy your boyfriend's a little
different his group's a little different
yeah that's a fucking
I that's not normal
you know I don't know if it's I don't know
if I would go far as to say it's
like unhealthy or anything, but it's strange.
It's strange.
It's strange.
I have never seen any of my friends naked, I don't think, ever.
No.
Well, wait, I saw Jalen, but my glasses were off.
So even that didn't even, like, I didn't even see him.
There was one time where I got pants on my girlfriend and pushed over the couch and
Jaylon walked in and he ran off of me.
I never seen somebody run that fast.
He was just down the hallway instantly.
So I didn't like, I feel like he saw was going.
He's like, I shouldn't be here.
is not doesn't involve me but other than that like that's it like i've never just gonna like run in your
room pull my pants and i'll show you my genitals and then run out like that's just it's weird
it's strange it's bizarre especially like photograph like like why would you send i don't dude when i
was making the video about uh about um edp i was just like the whole thing that was strange about that
i mean aside from everything was the fact that he he took a picture of his own shit and sent it to
anybody, like the fact that he would do that to a person at all, let alone a child, or like somebody,
or less, let alone somebody he thought was a child anyway.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay.
I'd never owned a vintage camera before. There was something about it that felt almost unnecessary
in a world where everything lives on our phones. But I wanted to change that. So I started the hunt for a
point and shoot camera. When I finally found the perfect one on,
on eBay, I didn't keep it to myself, I left it out on a table.
Always within reach, people started picking it up without asking, family, friends, everyone
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so they can become part of someone else's memories.
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I just, it's just such a weird thing to do.
Like, that's bizarre, Nikki.
And you should probably, you know, just keep an eye on them.
Yeah.
You know, keep an eye on his friends especially.
Like, that's very bizarre.
I'm trying to rope him into something strange.
You got to be aware.
That's some fucking borderline cult shit.
Argan Ether wrote it and he says,
howdy, two-thirds Hispanic, two-thirds black, and two-thirds midget.
What's a piece of media new or old that you feel gets way too much praise or hype
beyond the obvious ones like Kingdom Hearts and Overwatch?
Alternatively, what's some media that you feel deserves way more attention?
could use this as an opportunity
to shout out some things
you enjoy
overhyte
Final Fantasy 7
Overhyte
To the fucking moon
I like Final Fantasy 7
Are you serious?
Listen, listen
Let me explain
Let me explain
Okay let me explain
All right
I love Final Fantasy 7
In context to everything
That comes from that series
Including
Crisis Core
Which makes that game franchise
I actually have like a heart to me
and then 7 proper I liked a lot, you know, when I was younger.
Derr de Serbris, pretty bad.
I like Advent Children a lot.
It's the first movie I saw and that kind of like 3D, C.G.
style, so I like that a lot.
Now, the remake, Final Fantasy 7 remake is fantastic.
I think that's a great game.
But I think Final Fantasy in its own is pretty overhyped.
So are you talking about Final Fantasy or just Final Fantasy 7?
I'm talking about 7.
That's crazy.
I love Seven.
I love Seven for a lot of what it is, you know.
But before I played Crisis Core, I was like, I like this, but I don't exactly know why I like this.
And then I played Crisis Core, and I was like, oh, I know why I like Seferoth, why I like Zach, why Cloud is cool, what his sword means.
And it gave so much context to that story that was just not there at first.
I guess.
I don't have any of that context.
And I like Final Fantasy Seven quite a bit.
Did you play all of seven?
Because seven, it gets pretty convoluted in points.
Well, I mean, I'm sure it does.
Very, very convoluted.
And I was like, I don't understand what.
I was like, it was getting to him, but this is just stupid.
Like, what is going on?
Why is Cloud doing this?
Yeah.
I don't know.
These people drag race down our street.
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
But one right in front of our windows, too, which is the worst.
I don't know.
Like, as somebody who doesn't like Final Fantasy at all, you know, I have very little affinity for Final Fantasy.
I think it's really annoying.
to be completely fair.
That game is great.
Like, just the, the art of it and the sound design of it and just the...
I think it's a Star Wars situation where a lot of heavy lifting is done by pure
audio-sensory design of a property.
Like, Star Wars, without that iconic sound design and without that art design is probably
just really bland and boring
but then you have like
you know the the twin
sunsets theme and then you have like the
the look of Luke's lightsaber and the look of the droids
and it's all like very specific
and unlike anything and
it's the reason why that persists
and I think Final Fantasy 7 is a similar thing where it's like
there's nowhere you
you see Midgar and you're like that's Midgar you know
and you hear that music
and it's like that's Final Fantasy 7 like I know
intrinsically what Final Fantasy 7 music
sounds like even though I like wasn't exposed to it as a child like at all like it's just
objectively good um I I agree with all that but for me as a fan of it um I think that it's
I can look past like the design of respect all the design all like the extra like more or less
developmental things that go into the game I didn't see that when I was younger I was like this
looks cool you know I like the look of this you know but I don't understand why anything's
happening right
And I was just like, I don't get this.
And then I absorbed more content from the game.
And I was like, oh, this is really cool.
But people like praise it so.
People praise Base 7 so much.
Oh, it's a good game, which is good characters.
And the characters are all kind of, they don't really mean anything.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what is.
Like Cloud goes crazy so often.
It's like, why is he doing that?
Cloud to clone of Sephora.
It's like, what are you even talking about?
And then it gives you context to all of the stuff that happened throughout the whole entire series,
which I really appreciate.
So I like the whole entire piece of seven
Opposed to this like the first base game
Like that's fine
Yeah
I don't know
I'm trying to think of it's over popular
Oh Pokemon
Uh
Yeah
Pokemon
For what it is now, yes
Yes
Pokemon look
I've been there
I watched the show when I was a kid
Had a great time
You know played those games on Game Boy
Game Boy color
I played like yellow
blue red gold and silver
and then I stopped because I saw the Game Boy Advance come out and I was like excited.
It's like, oh, a new Pokemon game.
And then I saw a friend of mine got it before I did because everybody got their games before
I did because I had no fucking money.
And I would see them playing it.
And I remember thinking like that looks exactly like the thing I've been playing this entire
fucking time.
And it was like a new machine too.
So I was like expecting like some kind of jump and it wasn't really that much of a jump.
And I was just like, all right.
Right, well, I don't think I care about this anymore.
And the older I got, the more detached I came, I became from that series to the point where, like, I watch that show now, I don't think it's a good show.
I don't think it's a good show at all.
I don't think those games are even all that good, to be completely frank.
And even the newer ones, which we've, dude, we've seen every other Nintendo property evolve.
and I would argue that, yeah,
Mario Odyssey isn't really that good.
I think it's pretty good.
And I think there is a general bias towards Nintendo
because they're so old,
and they have, like, the most nostalgia.
I think Odyssey's pretty great.
I think Odyssey is good.
I don't think it's even close to 64 or Galaxy
or even Sunshine.
I really don't even think they're even close.
Sunshine is so bad, bro.
Sunshine's not bad.
you're crazy.
Sunshine is very pretty.
It's good music.
But it does, bro, as soon as you use that flood mechanic and you realize how dog shit it is, you'll take that back.
I recently played, I recently finished Sunshine.
Me too.
That shit is dog shit.
It is, I hate sunshine.
Me too.
I think sunshine, I like sunshine more than Galaxy.
But the fucking.
Galaxy 2 is the one that's crazy.
So yeah, I respect that.
It's more just like the whole walk.
around planets and I don't know I just I'm not really into it I think it's kind of
annoying but I don't know man just something about in what I'm saying is like
Nintendo gets a bump in bias and I think that's objectively true even if those
games are as good as you think they are it's like they're still like always rated
like absurdly high and it's like like Breath of the Wild is great I like Breath of the Wild
is great. I like Breath of the Wild
a lot. But Breath of the Wild is
bordering on being a tech demo.
Like, it's, there's very little to that game
until the end, which is where I think the game is.
But like, before then, it's just like you're wandering and there's like,
there's like maybe a handful of enemy types that repeat all over the place.
And it's a lot of barren nothingness. And it's a lot of like, hey,
here's physics that's fun to play with. And I love physics games. I love that shit.
But I don't know
Like as a Zelda game
It's a game about exploration
It's like you explore the game
You know
It's opposed to most of the other open world
Zelda games like relatively
You would say like Akrona at Time
Or
Or what's the other one
Amidris mask right
The way you would inherit those
Attack those world is you would go around the world
Right
And every place you would go there'd be this
Particular thing you have to get done
In that part of the world
You know
Right
Oppose to Breath of the Wild
You go throughout the world
and you experience the fact that these parts of the world are straight up different,
where there's snow and there's like you got to heat yourself up,
or there's places that have thunderstorms, stuff like that.
So I think Breath of the Wild, I agree with you to a certain degree.
It is more of a tech demo in showing you what this Zelda game will become.
So I agree with you on that.
You're right there.
But I think Breath of the Wild shines in just exploration.
You just explore that world and you see how different everywhere it is.
The shrines are kind of bare bones.
Yeah.
The beasts are kind of simple, relatively.
I mean, the beast is where the game is.
Like, the beast and the castle, apparently at the end, that's, like, really well designed.
That's, like, where the game is, and the rest of it is exploration.
It's cool, but, like, I don't know.
Like, I didn't get the same sense of exploration exploring Breath of the Wild that I did Red Dead
when I would, like, come across a cabin, and I would find this fucking crazy shit happening.
And, like, I don't know.
Like, I think if any other studio made Breath of the Wild exactly as it was, except, like, it wasn't a Zelda game,
I don't think it would have scored it as well
I think people would have been like
This is fun, this is cool
But it probably would have been like
An 8 out of 10
Instead of like the 9.5s that it gets
I think that's just a Nintendo bump in general
But like dude
Every other Nintendo property
Mario Odyssey
Good game
Breath of the Wild
Good game
Like all these other series
Have managed to like keep up at the times
And then you play the most recent Pokemon
And it's fucking garbage
Dude
It's fucking
It is
noticeably
noticeably trash
and I don't know
just that theme song
I'm convinced is the only reason
that thing is fucking
as popular is it
the Pokemon theme song
I think fucking like
that was not
dude not only is that
that like just a really good
theme song but it like
that was like early internet
virality too you remember Smosh
did that fucking Pokemon theme
and it like dude they built their
imagine building an entire company
based on the Pokemon theme
and it's not
a Pokemon company. That's straight up with Smosh is. Like straight up actually.
Insane how strong that fucking theme song is. And I get it. It's persisted. But they have yet to
evolve in any way. It's baby's first JRP. And it's not even a good one because there are
plenty of other, you know, easier, lighter JRP's that you could play in place of Pokemon and
probably get a far better experience. There's truth to what you're saying. I agree to a certain
degree. There's true. Pokemon has just been the same thing for the last like 20 plus years.
And I'm, um, dude, I don't know when the last, I don't know when the last Digimon game was,
but I'm certain it was better than whatever Pokemon game was out at the time. Like, I, I am sure of it.
Like, I have no idea what that game even fucking is. What is it? Like, I think they make like
cyber sleuth or something. Like, Digimon's Cyber Sleuth, I think is like a thing. Let me see.
Hold on. Let me see what the, what the rating is on that. Digimon Cyber Sleuth.
Digimon story did you on story cyber sleuth
9 out of 10
9 out of 10 no way
Look at this 9 out of 10 on Steam so like players and then like fucking game stop it's got a 4.7
out of 5
What is this game I'm not even fucking kidding I swear to you
Because I wanted that game
Metacritic
For a while and no one said I didn't hear anything about it
Let's see let's see Metacritic that is more more of a
Holy shit
Yeah
Well, it's got a meta score of 75, but a user score of 8.1.
So, like, I wouldn't be surprised if Digimon's story Cyberslooth was a fucking way better game than whatever the last fucking Pokemon was.
You're lying to me right now.
What?
Yeah, it's apparently a great game.
Look at that, huh?
I'm going to buy it.
It's only $20, too.
I'm going to buy that shit.
I love Digimon.
Me and my friend Paul talk about, dude, there was one time, this funniest shit ever, there was one time me and Donovan were talking.
Right. And he was saying, where were you doing?
Oh, where are you up to, man?
And I was just like, oh, yeah, I was just crying about the newest Digimon movie.
And he was like, are you talking about the one when he did the final Digivolution?
And they had the courage in friendship mode.
And I was like, yes.
And Smokey was just like, you guys both fucking watch Digimon still.
And I was like, yeah.
That is concerning.
It's good, dude.
Me and Paul, the only people on our friend group that like Digimon too.
Everybody else makes fun of us.
Look, I like Digimon.
I just think it's like, you know, it had its time, you know?
Yeah.
You and most people believe that.
Most adults understand that Digimon goes on eventually.
I remember that one movie with the bare naked ladies in them, and that's all I remember.
Digimon first movie.
Also, I had action figures.
I did have, like, Digimon action figures that I thought were fucking cool as hell.
I had Flamed Germon.
The egg, right?
The red egg?
I don't know.
I just remember, like, the,
final, hold on, like, am I remembering this right?
Flamedraman? I had to Flam Jemont toy.
That was an egg first, and then you took him out the egg and he'd have his pieces.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Flamesramon toy?
It's got to be, yeah, yeah.
It was like he would fold up into an egg and then you could like, you could, you know,
take him apart and he would be like, you could put him together and he would be an awesome
fucking, dude, I loved Digimon at a time.
I thought it was just, I thought it was cooler than Pokemon sincerely.
Like, I just thought like it was like, oh man, this fucking badass.
Look at these fucking Digivolutions and whatever.
But I don't know, man.
Yeah, they just get guns straight out.
And they just get guns.
I like that mosquito one that was always with, uh, hot, I forget their names.
Stingmon.
He was green, right?
I don't know.
It was something like that.
He was with Izzy, I think, or whatever, but.
Tentamon.
That was my name.
Tentamon.
That was my boy.
I love Digimon.
But anyway, let's move on.
Fran, Kurohana 10-9-6-9.
Apologies if it's hard for me to read.
These are an old prescription because I cannot see.
Because the U.S. healthcare system is very cool.
He says, hello, trio, a future out-of-context controversies.
I'm new to Patreon, and you guys are my main reason for joining.
So, fucking, that's pretty badass.
Appreciate that a lot.
I've been following the angry Chihuahua in a human suit for several years now.
I enjoy the three of you together, so fuck it, why not?
On that note, my question is something that's been eating away at me since I joined.
Would you consider patrons to be simps?
That's a bigger question.
That's a macro scale question.
I think, look, I don't think so.
Like, if you buy a game, are you like a simp for the studio?
Like, no.
If you pay money to a GoFund me, right?
Are you a simp?
If you, like, are we...
Because you want to go funding us.
Yeah.
Let's look at the...
What's the official definition for Simp?
I'll look it up right now.
There's got to be like an urban dictionary.
Simps is an internet slang term to describing someone who performs excessive sympathy.
Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose.
Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay.
Music has always been one of my teachers.
There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life.
Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts.
Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared.
I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented.
So I searched for that same vinyl, same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay.
When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen.
And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't.
I heard it differently.
I understood it differently.
And that's when it really hit me.
Objects can evolve us.
They can remind us of practices we want to return to,
of values we don't want to lose,
a versions of ourselves that still matter.
That's what I love about eBay.
It's not just about buying things.
It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you
or that you no longer need.
You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else.
To listen to more, check out the full episode
wherever you get your podcasts.
Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds.
Find what you love, sell what you don't.
eBay, things people love.
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certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic bank. Ondeck does not
lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. Uh, and attention toward
another person, typically someone who doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. So if you're supporting
our show for the, for the show, then I don't think you're a simp. But if there, because there are
people, let's face it, there are people who like give money and for whatever reason there's like
this weird assumption that we're friends now. I've seen this happen before where it's like,
hey, I supported you. We're friends now. We have to have an open line of communication because I've
given you money now and that's just how that works. That's, that's simple territory.
It's weird the over the over personalization of it sometimes because like I have become friends
with quite a few people who have become like been in my chats like that like oh it's like bent and like cancer busts and job like those are my friends now like those are my buds but like some of them it's just a weird level of per like you you gotta be aware of that like though you may donate and subscribe it's like that which i do appreciate our interpersonal relationship isn't the way you may perceive it you got to understand the borderline between that yeah it's always it's always been a strange thing because it's like people that come the concerts it's like
like, I've come to a concert,
I'm your friend, we're friends now.
And it's like,
not exactly friends.
It's like, it really is just Stan.
You know what I mean?
Like, it kind of is the same thing.
Like, if you think about, like, the song, Stan,
it's basically a simp.
Like, really.
In terms are a simp, but yeah.
Yeah, but, like, I think, uh, as,
look, just understand that, uh,
there's a there's a reasonable distance between you know internet people and you and it's not a matter of
you know oh i'm a you're a bad person or like uh you don't deserve friends or anything it's literally
just we don't know people like we don't know everybody like we can't also there are people that
like i've uh there are people that i i will meet recently you know that it's like i don't have the
bandwidth for this. I don't have the
I just, I don't have the bandwidth. I can't do it.
I can't accept.
I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can be, I can be, I can be friendly with anybody.
And there, there's people that I am friendly with that I've worked with in the past,
but I wouldn't necessarily call them like, oh, that's my friend.
If like, I was, so, here's a question.
What, would you consider Lily a friend of yours?
I guess, just because she's around all the time.
Okay, so you consider her a friend, right?
Yeah, because she's around.
Okay, so that's a friend of yours
But how long did it take for you to consider her a friend?
I mean, arguably until you just asked me
Okay, so the thing is that for me
Like if someone comes into my friend girl
If I meet someone, if I meet someone, I'm instantly friendly to them
Yeah
And I don't mind increasing the friendship
I don't push people away to one of the hang on
Be like, oh, let's talk or chat, but like yeah, dude, for sure
I'll chat with you, we'll talk because that's how you meet your friends
That's how it works
but there is a line where like people have too many friends like some people just have too many buddies
it's like the people on facebook with like 6,000 friends and it's like you don't know these people
there's no way you cannot you can't maintain a real connective tissue with 6,000 people you just can't do it
unless that's literally you're getting paid to do that which no one would fund that uh so like
my job is being a friend yeah like no one would that's not a fucking real thing so like you have
these, I don't know, like, I typically just like, look, I'm, there are people that I have met that I'm
friendly with on the internet, that it's like, like, is Nakey Jakey a friend of mine? I consider,
I consider us friendly. We're on good terms. We don't hang out all that often, but like when we talk,
it's nice, but like I would feel weird going on like an interview and being like, oh yeah, my
friend Jakey. You know what I mean? Because it's just, I don't know if there's really that rapport,
really, uh, as opposed to like people like Paul, who's obviously a friend of ours. And it wouldn't
be bizarre of me to say that. Or like, uh, Derek or or Bunty or any number of people, Veronica, uh,
Zach, you know. I got to get that. Yeah. And it's just, I don't know. We went kind of off topic,
but like, I guess, you know, the main thing is no, you're not a simp as long as you're,
mentally stable.
You're not as simple.
You can simp for a personality, but not the projects in which they create.
If you fund the projects, if you need to the project, the Star Tank project, then I appreciate
that or the streams that other than of us do.
That is respectable.
But I feel like I'm donating because I want to see your feet.
I want a picture of them.
Yeah, yeah.
That's different.
That's different.
That's different.
And we got a final, final question before we wrap.
map things up from Fen Harold.
He wrote a new patron, but long-time fan here.
My question is this.
What is the most absurd or ridiculous, parentheses, or disgusting, dangerous, dumb thing?
You've asked someone else to do for you and were surprised and shocked that they actually did it.
Ooh, I got to think.
I have, I can, I can, I've told this story before on the podcast.
I don't know if I want to get too specific about, because I don't want to tell the same story again,
But long story short, in Catholic school, there was this kid who was a few grades younger than me, who I convinced, I somehow convinced this kid that I was Vegeta from an alternate dimension and I could destroy the world at any point in time.
And he became kind of like a butler to me.
I enslaved this kid because he believed in magic and fucking time streams and alternate realities.
And like, you're such a bad person, dude
I, look, I didn't think, look, I thought
At first I thought he was just joking
Because like, I didn't think he could possibly believe it
And then I realized that he did
And I was like, oh, well, I'm not gonna waste this
This is an experience I'll be
He probably thinks about that still
He probably thinks about how stupid am I
That I believed this
Or he might still believe it
But I remember
There was this one point where I was like
I was like
hey Derek
that's his real name by the way
sorry if I'm out in this kid
but
I was like hey Derek
I'm feeling
mighty vengeful
I'm feeling mighty rage
rage filled right now
and if I
if I don't get
one of the
what are those
ice cream sandwiches
with like the cookie dough
and like the M&Ms
and the thing
you remember what I'm talking about
somebody
somebody in the comments
it's like a cookie on top
of ice is like a cookie
ice cream
saying it's like a cookie right
yeah it's like a circular cookie it's like
and it's got like m&Ms in the
in the thing
super delicious
super fucking good
but I remember I was like if I don't get one of those
right now
I think I might destroy
the school
you know I think that might happen
and
I really
dude I really
I committed to
I did it in character too
like I was I would like
I would like
I would look out at the window like really pensively like a fucking villain.
And like he fucking.
He begged, begged the teacher for like a dollar.
I heard him screaming.
I need a dollar.
Please.
It's for all of us.
I need a dollar.
And he was a savior.
He was literally a little hero.
I got to save the world.
No one's going to believe me.
Because only I know this.
Like I have to do this.
You're a.
bad person look I it's like how it's like it you know what it felt like this is going to sound
real fucked up but it felt like whenever you like throw a ball uh with a dog but like you don't
like go of it and then the dog like runs chasing after this like fictional thing that's what it
felt like and it was just so fun and he did it like he bet and he got me my sandwich and I was like
good good good this we are safe but like I just couldn't believe like I didn't think he would
actually do that. Like I didn't think he would
actually find the money. You know how hard is to come across
money as a child?
You know? Almost impossible
it feels like. Yeah. So like
that was, that's one thing that
comes to mind. That's probably
like the most belittling thing I've ever done to
another human being, certainly. What is the most fucked up
thing ever? I don't remember being that fucked up.
I did really wild shit.
Oh my God.
So
when I lived in Fishkill, one of my friends had
an airspace between his house and the other person's house that when it would snow he would slide down the hill then come up to hill and slide down the hill right there was this one time one of my friends was like it it snowed like maybe like a half inch there was nothing there and we're like yo dude you should go down the hill right now and he was like it's not even like i can't even see the snow we're like it's fine my friend got his hose he sprayed down the hill and he was like dude it doesn't really seem like a good eye
idea you were like, bro, aren't you cool? Don't you want to do it? So my Asian friend went down the
hill on his like little like one of the like sort of like a lid ones, snow things. The thing ripped
open, ripped his pants up his back and scarred his back. And he was like, dude, I'm really
hurting. Can I get help? And I was just like, nah, dude, you're good. Just go again.
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You told him to go again?
Did he go again?
No, we fucking helped him.
We fucking helped him.
We brought him back to his house.
And we were like, dude, just don't tell your dad what happened, man.
I just don't, don't let anybody know what happened, man.
You're fine.
Oh, my God.
Long story short, literally we never went down at hill again.
It was so many, it was like, it was the most unfinished hill.
Because you know the hill by my house, the big one, right, that you would go down on mirror and you would see.
It wasn't that one.
It was like one that was like an eighth of the size of that just leading into this really fucked up construction area behind my development.
And the kid went down and I kid you not the fucking slate.
split his pants split his back was scraped up it was so fucking bad that's so fucked up i'm pretty sure
it was just one jagged rock that destroyed everything what damn dude oh my god like dude i got to go
home his back was bleeding it was so fucking funny and i was that's messed up yo that was this that was
just being a 14 year old in upstate new york like that's all fun is it's fucked up that's a lot
that's a lot of process but yeah that sounds about right macro stories so uh yeah i guess that'll be
it for today's episode of the snark tank you know uh we're about where we've reached that time
so you know if you liked somehow liked what you heard today consider supporting us over at patreon
dot com slash the snark tank there's uh merch over at snark tank merch dot com uh still gotta get those
perfectly fine hoodies up keep forgetting also uh
there's a good reason for that, by the way.
I lost the original PNG,
so I've been, like, trying to find ways to, like, get it.
Solo episodes.
We got to...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my...
Yeah, my...
There's a solo episode...
Or there will be in the next week
a new solo episode question thing
so you can give us questions
for the Patreon exclusive solo episodes,
but yeah, that's some of the housekeeping out of the way.
Obviously, over at Patreon.com slash a StarTank.
$1 a month gets you early access to every episode
and access to those bonus solo episodes
that we're talking about.
$5 gets you a question read on the show.
$10 gets you access to our Discord server.
That's one payment and you're in for good.
And $25 gets your name dyslexically read
at the end of the show, which I will open
Patreon.com
and cycle over to the thing.
I usually do this ahead of time, but I kind of forgot.
So now I'm talking to stall a little bit.
There he goes.
But 25 producers and...
And count me in.
Three, two, one.
Racists snake, ten hours of spawn saying
Malaboga,
Malabosa.
Malboja.
Oh, you misspelled that, dude.
Malboja, relaxing sounds for stress relief, meditation, deep sleep.
Derek, can you get me an in with shoe?
I'm 25 and single.
A vex simulation gone sexual.
Tell him Steve, Dave.
Okay?
Trying to find that pussy, but I am blind and must locate it by smell.
What you know about rolling down in the deep?
7 or Trashbag 7.
Otaku Bernal.
Is hate, I Sweeney named Tom and Gay Mitha.
That's his name.
Oh, my God.
Just trying to fuck with me.
You thought about that.
Just trying to fuck with me.
Tuberculized Arthur Morgan.
Pimpleton.
Pimpoleon?
The Pokemon Pimp Emperor of the Penguins.
Ethan Cox is back with a vengeance.
Keith Dactyl, Napoleon was 5'6, therefore taller than Chris.
Willie Wonka's cum-diddly-umptious bar.
Not gay Ben.
I'm not gay.
No, really, I'm not.
Seriously, I swear I'm not, you have to believe me.
The fireball, little Sweeney threw and killed God.
White guilt paying his reparations, but not guilty enough to shorten my name.
Take my money.
John Strickland, Boo Sniggins.
Merks 1889.
Merks.
Merks.
The milkman that looks like Chris, a dank magician of chaos.
The other milkman that looks like Chris.
No wait, that's just Keith David.
Sanguine Cynthia.
John McCann, the Irish man, who will spontaneously combust if Halo Infinite is a bad game.
I think it'll be fine.
I think Halo Infinity's going to be a good game.
Whether it'll be a great game is, you know, up in the air.
But I think it'll be a good game.
When in doubt, sploge it out.
The first church of Keith David.
Tom Sweeney's views on the gays do not reflect our views of our, the views of our church.
Goops McKenzie, D.E.L. Do. Apa yiff. If Femboy hooter waitress.
Sammy and his big titty fishy. The Southern chick that keeps writing the word y'all in front of her comments and questions that you don't read.
That is true. I do not read the yalls. Or I censored the yalls out. I can't say y'all.
I'm not going to do that. I say y'all. I just, it doesn't work for me. It's not in my vocabulary.
You all.
It's not in.
You type all of you?
Yeah.
Or I just won't use y'all.
Like, have you ever heard me say y'all?
No, actually.
It doesn't sound right, does it?
Let me say something.
Give me a sentence with y'all in it.
And I'll say it.
I don't know.
Think of something.
It's freestyle.
Freestyle it.
Hey, what are y'all doing?
You say you all.
You actually do say you all.
Or all of you.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I just don't do it.
Anyway, drunken Doolahan.
A dick in the hand is worth two in the ass.
Pree-Raz.
Chris Farley, death egg, tiny Asian man,
one of the real biological sons of Tom Sweeney.
Father, you know what to be true, don't deny me.
Please help me.
I haven't felt the touch of a woman in over 10 years.
Oh, man.
Blake 896.
Can't help you.
Can help you.
The Epic Ashawat, Silly Puddy Eater.
YG 400 Spruce Street.
What is that?
Ew, it was a rapper.
He's garbage.
Is it really?
Yeah,
Bruce Street is the part of his name, but
YGF,
it's YG4-100.
Yeah, he sucks.
He's terrible.
I thought that was a fucking,
I thought there was somebody
docks in somebody,
but all right.
Ace man,
fucking kill me,
Keith, David,
the 12-year-old
boy Lyle Rath
butt-pounded on September 8th,
2017.
Diego Andres Hernandez.
Loading the second page.
Hey, boss,
I've captured all three Star Trinity.
Now I don't have to crave the little bit,
to crave the embrace of a human being
for a,
have ascended.
Ryan Luchesse,
thick thighs may save lives,
but tomboy abs make my world go
round.
Sloshy scout,
Keith David.
God damn it,
the third page is not loading.
Come on,
hurry up.
That's his name.
Nice one.
Cute femboy with sexy thigh highs.
Tom Sweeney,
the atrocious alien fucker.
Please check out my podcast
called How Do We get here
every Thursday.
Leroyerer Jankens.
Hope you guys like Weaser.
Virgil does have drip,
and I'll kill Tali
out of spite.
Let's calm down.
hard hat skydiver hey you you're finally awake you were trying to cross the gaza strip right
walked right into that israeli ambush i was born 9-11 and i paid taxes this year get fuck olds
uh fuck you chris my name will be as long as i want i pay 25 dollars for this shit sir
floyd the breathless alaskan oilfield trash i hate that name i hate sir floyd the breathless
that's such a fuck that's i didn't get it at first it's so not okay dude oh my god well it's too
late. I'm not editing this episode. Keith David, the arbiter of tea bags. Juan Punchman, Marcus
Shorten, Keith David, I blew up a litter of kittens, call it bomb pussy. Papa Nurgle, blend a baby,
shake, fuck you, Paul Joseph Watson, you maladjusted jacket, and he, driving a car into Helen Parr's
parachute pussy. Game Controller 25, Dick Vaney and the Puss administration, classic.
Murder ascended. Keith David, the sucks that feels Chris's pain, some cool minion, lobotomized
Jesus and his 12 downy disciples diddle dogs for doge coin. Haco. I think Chris and Derek would
like Unleash the Archers.
Try the album Apex.
Seven-year-old Phoenix. Moto Zealot. Hey, you're finally
awake trying to cross the border, right? Walked it right into that
Imperial Ambush. Same as us.
Luigi's eccentric Linguini.
Hiroshima Spicy Mushrooms. This is hard to read because I'm
running out of ideas, to be honest. Dummy Thubmy Thames.
Heartless Rich, aka the Ebony Goblins in the
dump of New York City. I give it a 9.5 out of
10. That's a pretty nice cock. J.F.K.'s
Mind-blowing. Mane-Blowing
Cherry Pie recipes. I'm a dick suck. I like a dick suck.
I like a dick suck. I'll buy you a dick suck.
yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy.
Keith Ab-Sage, David,
badly braved, hugger Derek, the movie theater assistant manager,
Ketheerian David, and finally, the final page.
Chris Gate my Pergerian hunting ass, deflated left ass cheek,
all hands on dick, arrow, sunny chance,
Melfus One, killed Dr. Drew, and let me edit Wikipedia, I can prove it.
Richter 86, and as always, the king of haphazard at the end.
That is everybody, every single $25 producer of our show.
Thank you for the support.
We appreciate it.
That was so hard to read, specifically because my glass.
are extra bad and I can't read normally.
So I hope you appreciate the effort.
I really care about you guys.
Yeah, somehow.
This is real love.
Now give us more patrons now.
Yeah.
Now we're done.
So I'll see you.
This is Daniel Fischel.
And Ryder Strong from PodMeets World.
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