The Snark Tank - #76: Dark Tank Returns Again

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Black nerds talk about game of thrones lol I don't know what they're talking about it's absurd like what?! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Subgette to Terms Detailies in the Prodesk or lobes.com Diagonaltern Subgetto a Cambios. Hey, look,

you say little dead meme. Check one two, one two, one two, what is going on and welcome to episode

I'm guessing four or five of the Dark Tank podcast. Yeah, I don't remember if it's actually

four or five but it's definitely one of those. It's definitely one of those. We've been doing this for a while. We've been out here. We've been out here

doing this, right? So welcome to the dark tank It's going to get real dark Going to get real ethnic in this bitch Yeah it's gonna get it's gonna get hot It's gonna get hot like the summer day On our skin and when we were slaves

It's gonna get real warm in this bitch Alright Also I want to say before we get started I've been Keeping this under wraps for quite some time Because I've been trying to figure out the logistics And everything But you know

Kind of like the dark tank I wanted to do something with Sweeney for quite some time and I was trying to figure everything out and I just all officially drop the name and everything so we're going to have a podcast coming out very soon within the next couple of weeks

like very right there it's called the inward club but wait I know what you're thinking I know what you're thinking it's not that inward it's like inward like inside inward

club It's such a childish fucking name, but I love it. I love it. I love it. That's why it's so good. One of my favorite podcast is called Comtown. I just, I can't get over it. I can't get over.

That's the stupidest fucking name you can come up with. But I like it. That's why I like it. Inward Club. Inward Club. It's just going to be, you know, two niggas just doing what we do. And, yeah, it'll be on my main channel. So I'll mention it one more time when it's finally launched,

but I at least wanted to put that energy out there Because to make it real Because it's just right fucking there. It's just right there. We're literally waiting on one more piece. Yeah, there's one little piece. And then we'll be starting it right after that. So guys, keep your eyes tuned.

It's going to be more of some nigg-on-nigger action real soon. So be prepared. So what should we talk about? What should we talk about? I don't like that you got that. like that you have that. I don't like that you have that. Turn it around. I bet her assholes out. It's not that bad, but she's just sleeping. Okay. I thought her whole asshole was out. Look at them fucking hips, dog. Dog, you got to calm down. You got to calm down.

Hey, man, somebody on Twitter was like, yo, fucking tag me in this shit. And I'm like, oh, you know I'm going to get it. So first and foremost, first and foremost, the only right wifu in that entire game. Here we go. Is who? Is the mom? The mom. She had the,

she had the tities, bro. What is the name? Not Tally. Oh, you're talking about Maturac Benazia? Bonesdi, dog. She had the tities, bro. She had the tities. Benesia has,

her tits were massive. And here's the thing. You know, the funny thing about massive cans is that, You don't give a fuck about them if they're covered. This is the problem. That's true. Like if you, because like I know some, I was actually watching some trash TV and one of this, this chick in it, she, this Ukrainian chick has big tits, but I didn't notice until she got married or whatever.

And they were like, exploding out. And I was like, excuse me? How did I not know this? And that's how I feel about me. That's what I feel about me jerk. That's why I felt about me jerk. Like she Her tits are just so far out

Dude I like fucked up my stand by just Like a god The primal nature of man Dude Large tits still excite us That's how you know you're still human bro It's real Because like I even talk about like

My mantra is Tits are a plus But an ass is a must That's my mantra However when big titty just flop out Real quick like immediately That that that part of me, the instinctual part of me, I'm not even thinking.

I'm just like, immediately. What's that? Yeah. You kind of just immediately, like now it, a couple of seconds later I can calm down, but there's a reaction regardless. Yeah, there's a reaction. It's like if you see fire. If you see fire, you automatically, you give it a glare.

You're like, oh, look, it's fire. You're like, oh, shit, it's fire. If you look at it for a little bit, you're like, oh, maybe I should do something about this. For people that can like, people that can see fire and immediately react, those are those are geniuses they are they have a bit of a higher level of thinking because i can't see fire and react immediately i'll look at it first and then i'll be like oh i got to do something about this it'll consume everything yeah it takes it takes a minute um it's one of those things that

yeah i there's a big possibility that most people are having their houses burnt down because you kind of i mean shit now like at the point where you're probably gonna fucking take some selfies within shit. You're gonna like, you gotta like, get a little close and do your... Do your fucking selfie thing and a sudden explodes and you're gone.

Fire? It's rare. Yeah, you got to, well, something being like on fire. You know, like, it's not gonna be your,

your, your stove or whatever the fuck, right? You're just gonna be like, oh, whatever stove is on. Your fucking lawn? Yeah, if your lawn caught fire, you're gonna be like,

holy shit, you're gonna at the very least capture a little bit of it for your Instagram story, and then you might. you might just turn that camera around and face it and then it just be like in the background and shit. That's dangerous, bro. It was good.

It is dangerous, but hey, I'm seeing, I keep seeing articles of. This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. Check out this special moment we did on our show presented by eBay. There's a different kind of care that comes with letting something meaningful go, especially when it has a story attached to it. When you pass something on, you want to know it's being handled with respect. I took part in my first ever giant charity sale, and I was able to auction several items from my personal closet on eBay. Some of them were truly one-of-a-kind pieces connected to specific moments, TV sets, or from personal collections. One of the things I loved the most about doing this with eBay is there was a way for everyone to shop.

Sure, people who wanted a pair of my jeans could get them, but people who, might be a different size than me, could buy accessories. If you're a size eight, you're lucky, because that's my shoe size. They could do purses, jewelry, all sorts of things. Some people needed winterwear, some people wanted summer dresses. It wound up being so much fun. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On Deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to Funds up to $200,000 right when you need it.

Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. Ondek does not lend in North Dakota, all loans an amount subject to lender approval. Fluencer bitches falling off of cliffs. Like, it keeps happening.

Yo, I saw that shit. I saw that shit and I forgot who it was. I mean, it's, it's, it's influencer number fucking 6,000. I forgot who it was. It might have been Donovan. It might have been Donovan. Who said some fuck shit. Like, I'm sure it was.

It might have been Donnie because he's the king of saying there's not the right thing at that moment. But someone was like, oopsies. And I was just like, what the fuck? Are you going to say that? Oopsies. Bro, I don't get why people do that. Like, oh my God.

Speaking of people taking really bad spills, me and my roommate Gabby, we were watching, we were just, like, we were on like a really fucked side of YouTube. But we finally got to like the really grim side. And we were just looking at shit. And we first, we watched a Bjork Stocker whole entire fucking video. That was fantastic.

If you ever want to watch it, don't. It's really not good for you. And then... It's fantastic, but don't watch it. And then at the end, we saw some Korean, like, parkour artists. Or not Chinese, some parkour artists who, like, he was climbing, like, really high things. He'd take pictures, obviously, because, you know, in China, you got to find something to do other than being a part of the machine. So he climbed up real high, and it showed the video where he climbed up and he fell off wherever he was at.

and I watched that video and it doesn't show him hit the ground it shows them fall off shit and I was just like I instinctively said rut roe shaggy and me and Gabby were cackling in the living room

but we were definitely like that kind of laugh where you were like oh no someone's definitely hurt really bad but why do people climb things really like we're not even we're apes you know so we're capable of climbing but like we're too big to be in high things anymore bro that's one of those

instincts that have been beaten out of us we don't have the instincts to fucking uh to go climb things when you're like in danger like the way that fucking chimps and monkeys and shit we definitely do we definitely do no when you run when you're running from a dog you instead of they go on top of a car that's what happens people people just go on top of cars i have a completely different instinct For me, I keep trying to, I try to keep going.

I will beat the shit out of a dog. Really? That's crazy. Here's the thing. You know what I noticed a long time ago? Like as soon as I hit like 16, I was like, I will kill most dogs. So I'm not afraid of them. The vast majority of dogs are your body.

You're definitely putting down. That's the thing. Like, I'm not afraid. I'm not, I'm afraid of huge dogs. Like there was a, uh, this guy had a, what, which, what is a Scooby-Doo? What is he again? A Great Dane. He's a Great Dane.

So this motherfucker brought a Great Dane, the biggest one I've ever seen into a, guitar center and that set off my like fight or flight shit. Damn really? It was so big and it noticed my energy of me being nervous. That's fault. So it looked at me and it sounded like fucking a demon. It was like it warned me. It was like, hey nigger, like you got you gotta calm down.

It wanted to calm me down because I was like, oh shit. It fucking scared me, man. It was too big. It was probably if it stretched, you know. you know, six, four or something, like if it's stretched. That's crazy. It was so big. That's why, like, I've encountered a lot of big.

Like, for me, I used to be afraid of dogs. I've always had a dog in my life. So I've never been, like, someone that was not used to having dogs around. There never been that kind of person, you know? But what happens is I saw, I saw Kujo and I saw the sandlot when I was little. So I was like, oh, dogs are scary. So if you're running from them, it's like run away. So I rode one time when I was in a Bronx, I rode like four blocks down and fell off my bike.

and this fucking big ass pit bull was chasing me and it chased me blocks literally blocks to stop and to lick me like where I fell down where I was scraped up it licked my leg and I realized that if you're not afraid of dogs more often than not I'm not gonna say always more often than not they're really not gonna do anything to you

like they're instinctively meant to like us it's like how we look at them and we like them it's kind of the same like deal. They're not really going to hurt us more often. There are some dogs that are fucked that like if you see it get the fuck out. Like if you see like a Caucasian shepherd dog, one of those bogs that kill bears and that dude is barking and aggressive, you should probably get out of there. You know, like that's not a, it's not something you want to be. But most time they're not going to hurt you.

Yeah, really. The shitties dogs have met were, you know, their masters, their owners were the biggest pieces of shit ever. And so that's what I initially encountered. People were, my friend's German Shepherd that I live with, I guess my roommate's German Shepherd. They were kind of afraid of him because he looks intimidating, but he was a little bitch. He was, he would, if there was too many people around, he'd like want to get under your legs. And I'm like, you're too big. You're too big to get under my legs.

But, you know, because he was just like a very timid German Shepherd. I feel you. My Shepherd was the opposite. She was really, she was really about that action. But like, well, you're kind of, you know. I am way. Don't put that on me Don't put that on me

That I'm a fucking I raise horrible animals She was just She was just a loud dog That's it I trained her like Textbook Like she wouldn't attack people

I could let her walk by herself And come back She never attacked anybody She never heard anything She definitely like Attack the deer one time Absolutely That's different

Because deer suck dick I don't If my dog killed every deer In like fucking North America I would give it a medal And I'd give it a fucking Golden fucking tombstone But like

Good girl Good guy Good one. Yeah. So it was fine for the most part. But we didn't do the intro for the podcast. So we should probably do that. Hey, if you like this shit, right?

If you like us. Yeah, if you like this, don't forget to follow us on Patreon. One dollar monkeys early access to videos. This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. check out this special moment we did on our show presented by eBay. When I was living in Chicago, I took part in my first ever giant charity sale, and I was able to auction several items from my personal closet on eBay. They were items that marked huge moments in my life and in my career,

and though I was ready to pass them along, I also wanted to make sure they were going to someone who would love them. One of the things I loved the most about doing this with eBay is there was a way for everyone to shop. It wound up being so much fun to see where each and every item was going, where it was going to be loved. And in passing items along like that, authenticity really matters to the person who's getting them. That's why I love eBay's authenticity guarantee. They weren't just listing my items. They were verifying them, making sure something was genuinely from where it claimed to be, in this case, my closet.

To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. On Deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws,

transparent pricing, and control over repayment. Get funded quickly and confidently. apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDec or Celtic Bank. OnDak does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval.

I think we break it down at the end, though. Do we just plug? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we plug the Patreon if you, but I think it's broken down at the end though. Okay. Because right before the names are dropped, correct? I'm guessing.

I haven't even to start taking a while. I missed one, and then we had Lyle And now it's this. So. Yeah, it's been a, I think I missed a couple. I'm frazzled tank. I'm frazzled. But don't forget to check out our merch at snarktank.com to get hoodies from us, our merch store.

That sounds wrong. It does sound wrong. It's probably like snarktank. merch or so. You go into the pin messages and grab it because I'm recording the screen. So you do that. All right, let's see what happens. I'm going to type it in myself.

We're going to figure this shit out. Oh, my fucking God. It's probably like snark tank merch or some shit. Let me, let me, you know, it's actually, hold on. Let me go to the, look at it. This is real time. This is real time shit, guys. Real time.

Yeah, so. Oh, whatever, though. But yeah, just Patreon. com slash a snark tank. If you guys want to support us, we appreciate it. We appreciate all you guys that have. stuck around and apparently

there's new people all the time too so that's pretty fucking dope we appreciate you all and yeah we just want to continue giving you more shit and hopefully you keep

rocking with those niggas you know oh you hear that fucking there's an ice cream guy this motherfucker dude we think he runs drugs because he never slows down he has the music on

but he's like he just blazes by and I'm like how the fuck do you make money He doesn't make money on that, man Okay, let's see, okay So here he is Okay, just whizzed right by

Just whizzed right by And I'm like, nigger, you're, your music's on Turn your music off if you don't want me to have fun Sometimes I want ice cream And then he just has the music on It's just fucking taunting me I haven't gone to an ice

No, that's not true When my girlfriend, my friend had a Like somewhere in Sun Valley Had like a birthday party So my girlfriend was like Kingston I'm going to need you to chase down the ice cream truck for me. And I was like, honey, I'm not a runner anymore. And she was like, well, I want ice cream.

And I was like, all right, cool. So I had to stretch. And as I ran, I felt my back crack so many times. But by the final crack, I was able to actually run properly to get him. And he was like, you're a big guy running for this trash cream. And I was like, it's for my girl. And I got my ice cream pouring sweat and walked back to my girlfriend. Hey, that's love right there, man.

I guess it's pain. Love is pain. Love is pain. Love is, love and pain are definitely fucking cousins. Yo, let's talk about something painful to happen over this weekend. Oh, man. So UFC 264 passed by pretty much everybody knows it was Connor McGregor versus Dustin Porre number three. Oh, man. And it fucking ended the way, it ended the worst way possible.

Everybody was like kind of speculating how is it going to go. is Connor McGregor going to pull up and upset and knock out Dustin Pori in the first round? He's going to be old school Connor McGregor when he was the champ champ. Was Dustin Poria just going to make quick work of him? And, you know, he kind of did technically. But at the end of the day, fucking Connor McGregor just breaks his fucking leg. Dude, it was a-n-n-nast, dude. That fight was really fucking sad.

Like, Colin instantly, like, Nigger, stop calling him calling. Connor. Connor. Connor McGregor. Connor McGregor. Connor. Connor, um, so let me tell you what I think.

Yeah. If McGregor had a year or so to get ready for that fight, he kind of beat him. He was not beating Dustin like four or five months later after they fought. I agree. Like that's not, that's not how it works. You don't, you don't get fucked up. and then a few months later beat somebody up. If you get a close fight, then, okay, maybe the next fight,

it might be something up in the air. But Dustin was eating him. He was feeding him. He was like, I'm just going to eat this guy the whole time. And Connor, though he's a great fighter, he almost locked Dustin twice in the fight, truth be told. He almost got him two times. He couldn't get the second hand when he had him,

like Dustin kind of went up on his back to prevent himself. from getting the, what's called the choke, which was good. Connor was being strategic, but Dustin was just outboxing him. He was out boxing him. Like, it was no way, there was no way, it was come to hand.

Well, that kind of lets you know that, that's, because the way, the way that there's a lot of people, there's a lot of Connor McGregor fans. And I do like, even though Carter McGregor is an idiot, like I still like him as an entertainer. And one thing I really like that,

he brings so much more draw to the, the sport, so the fighters, anyone that's associated with Connor McGregor gets paid so much more. And you want the fighters to get paid so much more. So that's why I like Connor McGreg was good for the sport technically. And the thing is, though,

it was so not going his way to the point where once Dustin kind of started, like, getting in his groove and started throwing bombs and connecting, that's when Connor clinched, which that's what, you know, you already know Connor's in trouble because he's clinching. He's going to clincher. And now he,

And this is what you usually do. If you're against the cage or you think you're going down, you're going to be taken down, which Dustin was working on taking him down, you might as well go for the submission. Yeah. So Connor was going for the submission, had it tight,

but the thing is, when you're right by the cage right there. There's no space. It's very easy. It's very easy to get out of that if you're smart, like Dustin. So he got out of it, and then just the bombs were just fucking dropped.

It was hitting in his name. And then he had him down for a bit. He had him down. He freaking got on top. He landed some shots. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did, presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers.

There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl, the same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay.

When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us, they can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things.

It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours.

Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps. OnDex loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews. OnDec delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at on-deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. Directly to the face, he stood up and then Colin stood up, right? And Colin stood up. And he yelled, he, he, he, he, I heard him, calling him, calling him. Sorry, sorry, Connor.

I saw Connor wail out. And as in me, as someone who I took, I took, I took M.A. for a very little bit. I took kickboxing when I was way younger, when I was way, way younger when I was like 15. And when someone wails out in pain, as a proper judge was to stop the fight, that's how it works. When someone's like, someone stands, someone's just standing up. And they're like, ah, and they come down, like, Connor does. Did, truth be told, he's supposed to be like, all right, stop the fight. Are you okay?

They bring you to your side to see what's up, all right? Now, Connor got up and his leg tried to run away from the fight while he tried to stay in the fight. And his shit bent bad. And then Dustin gave him a few more shots. And then eventually they realized that his leg was broken. Now, that was the problem. Yeah. And because I missed it myself.

so and and actually some of the reporters missed it because some of the reporters in the fight uh in the post fight press conference were telling dana white which was incorrect that like oh uh Connor got dropped by a shot no he fell back and he snapped his fucking leg yeah none of the punch is connected I missed it what I saw was I thought Dustin tagged him and he went down and and herb Dean herb Dean but like erb I think some people Some people We'll get into Erb D in a second But he must And which is funny Because he's a fucking referee You think he

His eyes would be like He'd be like Odin's fucking raven But even I saw that That's what made it weird Because me and my homies Who were watching the fight We were all drunk too You were like crossfaded his shit

And we were like yo His leg broke I said I yelled it out He was like his legs broken Some people saw it I didn't see it Some people saw it like obvious It just depends on

Where your eyes were at the time That's true And I was not even focused on the bottom portion of their body. When they both threw, all I saw was him go back, but I didn't see him step back. I wasn't even looking at that. So I completely missed it.

And I feel like it's no excuse for Herb Dean. He should have fucking seen that. And immediately pulled Dustin off and be like, whoa, this motherfucker broke his shit. But he didn't even see it because he was just there almost going to stop it, didn't stop it. And then it went at the end of the round. Then they noticed his shit was broken.

That shit was crazy. That's true because I Because from what I remember Or from what I know about like fights If someone gets hurt If someone breaks something On like Unless it's like Silva

The way Silva fucking kicked homie's leg And his leg fucking wrapped around his other leg Like you Like a fucking monkey's tail dude Bro it wrapped around his leg And the guy he kicked his leg Did the same shit like a year and a half later It was so fucking hilarious

Four of those In the entire UFC history. The UFC started in like 1993 or some shit, maybe even earlier. So there's only been like four of those. And Anderson Silva and Chris Wydenman were involved in two of them. What are the odds of that shit? Bro, that's so funny how

right after, right after, like a year later. And I feel like the guy that was commenting, commenting made a comment about it. He was like, you gotta watch out for what you call its leg. It's like stealing. He kicked the guy in his leg wrapped. Imagine someone's leg

rapping around your like like a fucking... That's disgusting. That's disgusting. That's so fucking gross, dude. Fucking disgusting. But I would hate that so much. But they did call the fight. I would have given it a no contest. But to be fair,

Dustin was fucking him up. In all fairness. So I do understand why they gave it to Dustin, but the referees should have been doing a better job than he did. That is where my argument stands immediately. That ref was, was off. He was way off in how you deal with shit.

Well, see, the problem with Erb Dean is that he's the best and he's the worst. Like, say, I think Joe Rogan cursed him, to be honest, because he was like, Joe Rogan hyped him up so much to, like, he's the gold standard

of MMA reffing and stuff, and he was doing so well, and then just increasingly he started making really shitty fucking calls. And you know, what that reminds me of? It reminds me of fucking Joe Rogan hyping up Ronda Rousey. Because after fucking Joe Rogan

hyped her up to, but to be fair, everybody hyped her up. But Joe Rogan... She was a great fighter, though. She had a great fighter. She had a great fucking tactic, which was her fucking judo. Her judo was amazing, bro. Her judo was fucking Olympic level. But all she did was judo fucking toss people and then arm barter. And she had no hands.

And when you would see people boxed, because she was with This guy, Ed Tarzanian, piece of shit out of... That Tarzarian... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that that guy that's, like, rich but, like, not really rich, but, like, supposedly, like, super rich? I... Is this some, like, fake millionaire, like, want to be super Vervado, dude? Because I feel like I watched a 50-minute documentary on that guy.

And I was like, what this guy is a piece of shit. I don't think it's the same person. It's... It wouldn't surprise me, but I don't think it's the same person. This guy, he was... I think he did do some kickboxing. boxing way back in the day and then he just claimed that he was the shit and had all these medals

and he was the best and all this stuff. I don't know. People didn't really check his credentials. Ronda Rousey, I think living around L.A., she went to that gym and then just fucking just stuck there. And because she was winning, she thought that he was doing something. So that was the problem.

What does name again? She was never... Ed, it should be Edmund Tarzanian. Edmund, okay. Because I feel like I've seen this guy. He's very skinny. you know, fucking just obviously Armenian. But he's just, if you, there's beautiful documentaries on this guy and just how shitty of a coach he is.

And if you see him working with Ronda. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared.

I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl, the same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me.

Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you

or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite fines. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment,

expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A Plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews, On Deck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes. Your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. On Deck does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Rousey and seeing Ronda Rousey's, her fucking striking

while she's hitting pads. Sometimes she looked good. Very rarely. But if you just looked at a compilation of her striking and her working and hitting pads or hitting the bag, she looked like Gumby, dude. Oh my God. She's too stiff? She doesn't have... She was... No, the opposite. She's too loose?

She was fucking... It was like, it was wobbly. It was... It wasn't like fucking, you know, you just come out there and you just just throw something. It was like wobbly. It didn't make sense. And like, who are you hitting with that shit? So I just recommend anybody. Even if you're not a fight fan, just go fucking probably put in like Edmund Tarzanian, Ronda Rousey.

And then there's just all these great videos just showing how much he hyped her up and how much he lied to everybody saying that like, oh, she's knocking up the guys. She's, she was saying she was fucking everybody up. But to be fair, Joe Rogan was too. Joe Rogan was saying, oh, she can probably beat up some of the male bansom weight, some of the male 135 pounds. And, you know, I don't want to be, you know, I don't want to go down that route. Maybe there's a separate. I would say she could beat some of them.

Excuse me? I don't think she's knocking out many of them. I think she could probably beat some of them. That arm bar, her arm bar is, her arm bar. She's judo. Judo is built for fighting people that are big in you. That's like the whole point of. that entire fighting side.

Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the thing, though. Here's the, Ronda Rousey couldn't hang with the best 135-pound female fighters. And the best of the UFC 135-pound male division will run through any of the women. Like, you know, it's not even like- Would you say any of the women? Yes, absolutely. I understand, damn.

It's not even like a, it's not a disrespectful thing. It's the reason there's class separation. It's not a, it's not like, it's not supposed to be disrespectful. It's just a matter of fact. It's, they weigh relatively the same amount, you know, the weight cutting makes it like kind of a difference. You know what I'm saying? Because, you know, they cheat. Geraldigan actually just came on the podcast talking about it again, how weight cutting is sanctioned cheating, which it is.

Well, duh, obviously. So, like, so, so I would say like a male 135 pounder is probably closer to, you know, 100. 160 pounds or something, probably walking around. Maybe 170 and they're just killing themselves to get all the way down there. So, and, you know, I don't know how much, like, say, anyway, my whole point is that, going back to that, that Edmund dude, that guy, I would just highly recommend watching it. It's so entertaining.

Just seeing the, the, the illusion that was created around her to make her, like, and don't get me wrong, like said, she was a bad motherfucker and what she did. but they were saying, oh, she can probably fuck up Floyd Mayweather. Like, this was real talk. This was a real conversation. Articles were written. People were actually hyping it up. And it's like, this is where we got with it.

It was pretty fun. It was pretty fun. It was really fun. You know what they do? Fuck, fuck all this shit. Put Mike back in the ring. He's shown he could do it. Put Mike back in the ring until he dies, bro.

I want... Put Mike back until he fucking killed. till he kills someone or he dies. I want him back in the ring, bro. It would be cool for him to just go out like that, you know? Because nobody, no fighter, no warrior wants to just get old and crumble. Like, you know, it was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. It was actually a scene, it was a, it was footage of Mike Tyson pretending to,

he was mimicking, um, Muhammad Ali. But like, while Muhammad Ali was sitting down on the couch. Oh, yeah, he was doing his moves. Yeah, he was like, look at me, champ, look at me, champ. And Muhammad Ali is just gone. Like he's the CTE, the Parkinson's. He's gone. Like he's so like the way his facial expression is.

And I'm like, it was, it fucking made me want to cry, bro. Bro. Because like, that was such a sad video. That's a sad video. But it was such a, that's one of Mike Tyson. That's one of Tyson's best moments actually. Because he's got to show to champ his moves because that was his, obviously that was his idol. If you're, if you're a black male and sports, period, you're probably.

Probably one of your idols is probably Mike Tyson. Mine was Rocky Marciano. Oh, of course. Yeah. Of course, yeah. Other than Rock. If you were a black man, Rocky Marciano was your fucking, you know that, you know, that Italian boxer in the 80s or, wait, the 50s or whenever the fuck that was, I don't even read what year it was. I don't care of it.

It was like, yeah, you know, Rocky's a great. All right, Rocco. No, not that, not fake Rocky. I mean, they're both, they're both, it's the same thing. It's the same. Well, white Italian niggas, you know, white niggas. You fucking white nigger, you. There's something beautiful about that term.

Like, oh, man, look at all these, look at all these white niggas in here. Like, this is something that just. I love, I love calling people nigger when they're really doing some nigger shit. I always, like, you a nigger and I mean that. mean that for real. And I mean that. I mean it. You a nigga. But sadly, sadly to say, Colin Connor, Connor McGregor got to help yourself, can you? He got invaded. He got invaded. He got invaded and it was really sad and his leg is fucked up and he'll be back maybe in a little bit, but he's he's past his prime. Let me ask you something, man. What's up? Would you want to see a

fourth match? Nah. Maybe maybe if a while between them two. I don't want it. But. I don't want it ever. I just, I can't see any real justifiable reason other than Dana White trying to make just a hell of a lot more money. You know what I want?

And here's the one thing that fucking everybody's kind of missing. Dana White is a fucking moron. So Connor McGregor is the cash cow. You want to protect him. You want to protect your cash cow. You don't want to have your cash cow. that just got his ass whooped into oblivion to six months later to be pretty much the odds are completely against Conn McGregor

to have him be whooped again because in the best interest it would be McGregor winning and then challenging for the fucking belt and then him possibly becoming the champion again and then all this money starts pouring in but what the like it just so this is the one thing that I can think of after McGregor got his ass stomped

in the rematch Dana must have thought Connor McGregor's fucking done he must have already thought that before the third one and he's like I might as well milk him for all he's worth

right now just get one last one and there's not going to be a fucking fourth one there's not going to be a fourth one yeah so that's that's the way that I see it because which should tell you a lot like about

how if I were to Connor McGregor I'd go fight fucking Dana White and be like you You fucking piece of shit, fat fucking tomato. You fucking, I can't do it. You fucking human tomato, yeah. The next fight we need, we need Jake Paul to fight Mike Tyson. I think Mike would kill him.

I think Mike would kill him. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. If the problem is, if they gave the match the way, if it was just, there was no shenanigans. because like the way that how there were shenanigans with Mayweather and Logan Paul

I think then Mike would have free reign to beat the shit out of him but I'm I'm I would be it's just like what they did with Roy Jones Jr. And him there was so many sanctions to the point where it was just like

oh no fucking blows to the head of essentially like barely you couldn't go for a knockout and all this shit because he's in his 50s and Jake like their age difference is so huge like it's such a like you know what I mean but in our fantasy Mike could kill him

I think I think I think he would he would he would poke a little bit and he would do his kind of hammer and it'd probably break Jake's ribs and he'd be like

oh no and then one to the face and then Jake would fall in that'd be amazing because it'd be it'd be like an OJ situation but in like a ring it'd be like fantastic

and people are watching it happen could you imagine I mean you try to see it Jake Paul fucking pass away like that he just kids

killed by Mike Tyson because he somehow talked enough shit to let that happen and everybody in the crowd is cheering it's cheering while he falls he's dead his body goes limp

and everybody's like fuck the fucked up thing is that's exactly what would happen yeah people would be cheering it'd be really sad I'd be cheering too until I realized like a person's life is gone I just can't

I just can't be sad about Paul dying like I can I can be sad I can be sad about a person dying once I realize it's a person

like once I subtract the person from the Paul but like while it's happening I'd be clapping like a fucking madman like a fucking waris that's whoa I mean look man

I I just, I can't, I, I have to agree, because I can't stand, I can't stand that guy. I really can't. And it, it's one of those things where, I don't think his whole bad boy problem child persona or whatever, I don't think it's fake. I think he's just really a fucking moron. And he's, and he's, not a moron, um, because he does smart business. But he's, he acts like a moron.

He, in a way that he thinks it makes him look cool. And it's not like he's just like, I'm going to do this just to get, what do you call it? Just to get heat on me. He's the fucking guy, and I might have mentioned this before, he's the guy that to get back at Faye's Banks, you know, one of those, the guy that owns Fays Clan, he had, Jake Paul had his assistant.

He had his assistant pretend that Faze Banks beat her up or choked her out at a club, like at a bar. Like there was that whole thing, and then it disappeared. You know, they settled out. They didn't, but the whole weird thing is there was a whole thing Logan Paul tried a backup. They got a fake cop to like, they did all this elaborate shit

and then fucking phase banks came out and said like, they have footage and all this stuff and like I'm gonna sue the fucking oblivion off of them and then it just went cold and I'm like, everybody just forgot about this guy just faked a domestic, like not even what would you call it? Just an assault or whatever. Yeah, my proper assault.

He just, he made it a couple. And I'm just like Dude, this is, this is worse than the fucking suicide force by like, by eons. Yeah, it's bad. It's bad. And they just forgot, everyone forgot about it. And I'm like, this is the guy. That's that guy. Like Jake Paul is way worse than fucking Logan.

The amount of cognitive dissidents created been like, like as someone who is now, I consider myself a content creator. the amount of like cultish unbelievable cognitive dissidents in this sphere like in the internet is like horrifying like the insanity the amount that people do fuck shit and they can just come back and people like welcome them after doing like objectively like criminal fuck shit is horror inducing bro Yo Like it makes me not Makeup guy Like dude

James Charles James Charles Bro that's fact Everything the people were saying about him Is like fact That's not There was false More than 10

That's already You're done More than 10 teenagers were like Hey this dude's trying to fuck me or whatever And then and then like He's just back He just comes back

And he's like Hey it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose, check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented.

So I searched for that same vinyl, same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us, they can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter.

That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. is also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love.

Cashflow crunch. On-Dex small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. On Deck does not lend in North Dakota, all loans an amount subject to lender approval.

Oh yeah, a lot of people were talking shit or whatever. I forgot. He had a comeback video, and it's like positive he received. And I'm like, yo, this is, this. This is what we're living in. And we have, there's plenty examples, all the way from the highest levels like James Charles to the political spear, like the Ian Miles nigger that we talk about sometimes where he's like swatted like multiple dogs or some shit. Like he just, he literally just remember that was, we did talk about that. That was his comeback, bro. His A1, his basic attack is a swat. His swat, bro.

That's crazy, bro. And he just, do we still? I still see people I know retweeting that motherfucker After the shit that he's done It's horrifying it's it's uh it's this It's cultish actually It's like it's really Not

Cool It's not cool It is like you said Cognit distance at the highest fucking levels I hate all this sun is in my face I feel like a shark I feel like a tiger at all this fucking sun in my face I can't even fix it

I thought you were a... I can't fix it. I can't fix it. Because I close my... I close it. I close my blinds. Okay, let me try closing my blinds. Flip it the other way around.

It'll work. It'll work. I'll entertain you people. And they call it puppy love. Oh, we back. We good. We good. Okay.

I told you, nigger. Put your headphones back. I told you, nigger. I told you. I know all this shit works, man. If it, if it ain't good on the other. side, you flip it around. It's kind of like women, you know, like, if the mouth, if

the head game ain't good, you know, you fuck her in the ass. It's all good. Okay. So, um, on to another thing you're going to talk about is the whole entire Britney Spears dilemma. Which is... That's kidding. That's fucked up. Holy shit, bro. I, look, look.

Y'all go, y'all go hate me for this one. Y'all go hate me for this one. Here we go. It's hard for me to feel bad for a white woman, bro. It's hard. It's hard to get me to feel bad about the crown jewel of the planet. It's real hard, you know. The crown jewel of that. The most

sacred creature on the planet Earth, the white woman. It is hard for me to feel bad for them. But holy shit, this poor girl. This poor fucking girl. I'm gonna be real. man, I don't know how she's clearly a functioning adult. I don't know how

this has gone on. It's even deeper than that, bro. It's even deeper than that, bro. But here's the thing though. I just, this is what I don't understand. Since she consented to it herself, herself, meaning she's not like, you know, she's not all fucked and she can't like comprehend shit. If she consented herself, why the fuck can't she revoke it? Because I think upon awarding them that much, like, first and foremost, the judge, the judge that disagreed on that needs to be fucking jumped.

He needs to be jumped ASAP. That is complete. Oh, he needs a visit from Ian Miles Chao. He needs a, there's no way on earth. There's no humanly okay way for someone to think that that's, that's for. fair at all. You gotta, I would have been like, it would have been like a 10 minute case. She would be like, I'm a functioning adult.

I can still make business decisions. I am fine. Allow me back control of all of my, all of my business, all of my name pretty much. Yeah. And my fucking body, son. Bro, the UTI that she was unfairly given. Are you an knee? My bad.

That she was unfairly given, bro. Like, what? Dude. You're, it's, uh, That is probably Like That it's so it's so unfathitable

It kind of like doesn't even seem real It's like one of those things that It seems like a fake thing It seems like some shit It seems like a creepy pasta bro It even seemed like reality It's like what the fuck It's it's that's the

That's the weirdest part to me that It's it's hard to It's really hard Once you dive deeper into it, it's really hard to just think that how the fuck the things spiral this far out of control. And it's crazy that people, because I remember a few years ago, I saw that when she was making weird videos on Instagram or TikTok or whatever, and then people were telling her, if you're okay, like, if you need help, wear yellow.

And then in the next video, she wears like yellow and shit. People are like, oh, dude, she's sending signals. So people were kind of speculating. Was that a coincidence or is she really need help? Nah, niggas, she needed help this entire time, man. You can say, when you looked at her, the way she was acting, the way she was speaking, you can tell there was something fucking wrong with her and it wasn't drugs. I was like, dude, she looks like a victim that were, you know, when the guns off the screen. Yeah, yeah, like, and you answer doing, you're like, how's it going?

And you're blinking so much. And you're like, are you okay? Like, it's like, bro, kick the door. She's telling you to kick the door so you guys can run. Like, fucking Michael, Michael, whatever his name is, Michael Myers in the house with her. Kick that door, get in the car, and drive away. Like, let's get out of here. But it's really sad, bro.

And you go through the whole entire, um, Lily, my girlfriend is a huge Britney Spears fan. Obviously, she was a girl from the 90s. Even I'm a Britney Spears fan. Like, I'm not going to act like I'm not. She's got some bops, man. She's got some bops. I'm a kid from the 90s. Like, of course, I listened to fucking.

Hit me, baby. I listen to boys. Toxic. All those shit, those are classics to me. You know, like toxic on my playlist. I don't play it out loud.

Talkic is. Yeah, there's some songs you don't play out loud. Wow. Too often, but it's there, you know? And like going through the thing,

bro, she went through so much bullshit. She went through media. Like, they attacked her. They tore her down because there's a young woman who decided to grow up a little bit more. She decided to,

like, express herself in more means. Even one of my patron saints Justin Timberlake didn't even do right by her lots of times. He was being interviewed about like if he slept with her, stuff like that. And it's really sad. And the saddest thing ever was like some person wrote in a comment, you were like, I would kill you for how hard all the things you've shown my daughter and how indecent you've become. And she was like, how could someone say that to me?

How could someone be so mad to say something like that? Christian too. Let's say something like that to me. I don't know how you could be so mad. And then the news reporter said, well, you're making it harder for them to raise their daughters. And she cried on TV. And I was like, bro, this is crazy. Bro, she has been mistreated by this planet, bro.

It's really bad. But look. Her parents failed her. Especially her dad. Obviously her dad's fucking her seven ways of Sunday. But it's one of those things. Let's say for the sake of argument, I have a kid and I'm priming my kid to be a child star.

I have to do my very best, my due fucking diligence to prep them to be like, yo, a bunch of motherfuckers that don't mean shit to you are going to say a bunch of shit about you. You got to remember, they're just trying to get a reaction out of you. They're trying to have people read their articles or consume whatever product they have, it doesn't matter.

And the thing is, all of these people, they're not taught this shit. They're just throwing out into the fucking wolves. I was listening to a Joe Woken podcast with Demi Lovato. And Jesus Christ, she's fucked, man. Like, her mom fucked her over. And then just as the way she grew up, and she's still fucked now. She's trying, but she's still, she's dealing with the repercussions of being a child, a young star, a musician, or whatever.

playing with the Jonas brothers and stadium, 30,000 fucking people. Imagine being a kid and dealing with that shit. And probably these sharks and these fucking perverts trying to come at you. So Britney Spears dealt with that like a billion fold. Yeah, she was like the biggest thing in music for a while. Right. But she kind of came out okay, kind of. She had the mental breakdown in like 0-7 or whatever.

But like I think she was afforded that. You know what's crazy? It wasn't even a breakdown. The way media portrayed it was like when she's shamed. She shaved her head. They're like, oh, she's going crazy. She's losing her mind. She definitely had a drug period where she was like hanging out with like Paris Hilton,

Lizzie Hose's hand, like doing drugs. But she shaved her head because it was symbolization of her not wanting to be the person that people want her to be anymore. So she got rid of her long blonde hair. But people use that because she literally, she literally had her first kid, had her second kid. And right after her, or Kevin Fedeline, whatever his fucking name is, cheated on her.

She got postpartum depression. And then she divorced. him. Bro, her life has not been like for a rich person. Huh? Like, how do you cheat on her? How do you cheat on her? How do you cheat on a famous? It's like when Jayzy cheated on Beyonce. Bro, I was like, it's stupid.

Dude, this nigga looks like a camel. You're going to cheat on beyond that. Dude, he looks like Joe Camel, the marble mascot or whatever. He looks fucking gross. And he would have the audacity. This thing is. Cheated on Beyonce Knowles, bro. Like, you know,

audacity. Look, Beyonce is past her prime, but she is still definitely one of the top, maybe five most attractive women, like on the planet. Like, she's hot. She's really hot. Like, I don't like her music

because it all sounds the same. It's fucking terrible. But she's gorgeous. Like that, with, she's like, her and like JLo are like two of the pinnacles. Jalos and her,

or fucking 50s and it doesn't make sense bro. Like those are two of the people that are like the pinnacle for like what an attractive person is on this planet. And this motherfucker Jay-Z, a dude that looks like, he looks like Smigel or Smigel was a black, like if somebody, if somebody race-bended Smigel into a black person, that would be Jay-Z. And this motherfucker cheated on her. And I was like, these guys.

I think money I think money makes your dick confused It's one of those things that like I feel like it's one of those things where He's probably done so much wild shit That even when you have the best You still need more

Like you have You have one of the top most desirable women In the planet Regardless of how you feel about Beyonce She's still the top desirable To the vast majority of like the population around the world. Like, so even if you're like, oh, I don't like Beyonce,

I'm like, well, it's not about you. It's about the vast majority of people. That's true. So he obtained her. And then he just like, I'm now, who did he cheat with? Who the fuck do you cheat with? Some lady who's probably attractive,

but definitely not as attractive. Yeah, she probably just said some stupid shit like, yo, I can suck your dick through my nose. He ever had that shit? And then he was like, oh, and then it just happened. It just went down. The rocks in the building. Like he was like fucking like just eating some chick snatch like that you know

Like he's just doing some crazy shit Putting fucking putting like crushing his CDs up on her ass and snorting it and shit Like just like he has to do weird shit to probably get off and Beyonce probably is like Yo the most I'll do is like Maybe I'll let you eat my ass So then he was just like yo dog like I need you to fucking take my blueprint and fucking just just crush it up into powder and I need you to put that shit in my dick

and then suck it out I need you to fucking liquefy three of my hours Hey it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay Music has always been one of my teachers There was a vinyl record I used to play

during a quiet, very formative season of my life Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl, the same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen.

And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter.

That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode

wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite fines. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. OnDec's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment. Get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain

loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. OnDak does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. You turn it into Loeb so I can fuck your ass with it, all right? That is what I need. Can you do that? And she was like, I can do you one better. I'll make four albums. He was like, oh!

Over! That's it. Yeah, I think we cracked the code. But yeah, Kevin Fetterline. What a, now that's way worse, though, because Kevin Fetterline was just some fucking gutter trash. He's a fucking bottom feeding fucking fucking fucking, I bet he has scurvy.

He looks like someone has scurvy. I fucking hate that, dude. And he you, yo, what is up with these? Yo, you, men ain't shit, dude. I'm sorry. The more I think about it, the more I'm like, yo, guys really suck.

Dick, bro. We are the worst. You're the worst. Like, you just got to not. You just got to try. You just got to try to be, like, decent. Yeah. And you'll be fine. That's why, like, so many people talk to me, they're like, I tell him I'm a relation

for five years. And they're like, I don't know how you do that. It's like, I just try what my girl and it works out. It's not hard. It's not easy all the time, but it's not hard to do that. And they're like, nah, King, you're wilding. bugging, bro. I'm gonna go cheat on my, I'm gonna go cheat on my side chick with my girlfriend. I'm like, bro, what the, that's why it don't work, but. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, I do. I,

God damn, I feel that so hard. And that's kind of that, that was, that was my issue with me actually wanting to try and put in the work 100%. And then, you know, my fucking partner, actually. It wasn't me. It was my partner actually not wanting to match my energy. If shit got too hard it was like easier to just bail. Like oh, people people suck, it's wild.

People don't know what they want. And people people, this is what things. People always see those are still like I went through this a lot when I was my ex, my ex-girlfriend before my current girlfriend. We, we, first of all, we were in rough really bad

spots. We both had like our, we both had like serious depression and we weren't And we were not helping one another get better. We were not. We were simply just stuck in a rut with each other. We were both sad with each other. And what happened was she would see, like, stories about these old, these families, couples that just work, like, everything's working out and they're doing good.

And they would be like the same. Like, oh, we just like, we had to fight for it. We had to show we wanted to work together to get it. But she would never put the work in to do that. So I would just be so confused. I would like, how are we going to, how are we going to get to? there if you don't want to put the work in. Like that's not going to exist.

It doesn't exist with one without the other. You got to do one to get the other one. And it never worked out. And I'm just like, how could you want that? But then when I would ask you, like, what's up with you? Like, why are you so upset? Like, talk to me. She would get mad.

I mean, not talk to me. I'm just like, yo, you just, you got to be alone. You got to be alone. You just have to not be with somebody. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I was with the, yeah, yeah, man, it just, like, brings back memories and stuff. But I'm, I'm fucking, I'm good now. I'm fucking, I'm good, I'm happy.

Um, I believe in my bitch. There you go, bro. That's all you need, man. Yeah, no, that's, uh, but, uh, I, I, just kind of getting back to, um, that one white woman, Britney Spears. That one white woman. Yeah, one thing I want to say real quick is, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I know some shit's happening now As of the 14th

Something's happening with the case Like they're going through the new process or whatever They're looking into this stuff If shit does not go in her favor this time around There's gonna be fucking riots dude Yeah it's bad I think it's gonna like I

Firmly believe And it's also gonna get kind of weird Because the country's gonna be really pissed off that Oh these people are rioting for this fucking rich white woman like you say it's going to be like it's going to get weird but I feel like if things don't go the right way

if she doesn't get justice like it's going to be fucking weird seeing people ride for a pop star you know like it's it's going to be weird we live in we live in strange I feel like I'm in a fucking I'm in a witcher

but we live in strange times right now where my heart is like yo she getting fucked over. People got to say something about that. But at the same time, I'm just like, you know, like, you're all going

to ride for Britney Spears, you know? Like, all I'm saying is like, that's kind of crazy. I don't know. What y'all? What y'all at? Y'all at somewhere else? The priorities are a little bit fucked up, man. Because the priorities are a little fucked up.

But hey, man, that's how it's always been, though. Right? Like, we, we, uh, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we care a hell of a lot more about these people, you know, and we prop them up and we make them rich and shit and they don't, they give us specs, you know, table scraps of return as far as like music that's mediocre, you know, like overall, it's not like some life-changing shit. Like you hear it and you fucking tear and you're like, thank you so much for existing. It's just like, oh, that sounds pretty dope and that's about it.

That's true. All right, guys. Yeah. Well, we've talked a lot about stuff, so let's get us some questions, all right? So we're getting some questions? All right. We got enough to stretch this shit out. Yeah, we got, we got some time.

All right. So first question is from Huggard Derek, the movie theater manager. Hey, three sex experts, what do you guys crave when your sweet tooth is really killing you? Personally, I crave ice cream. Any flavor will do. Thank you, boyos, and love you so much. Thank you, Huggard, Derek. We love you, too.

Yeah, love you too, man. Pussy. Really? Pussy. I was able to say the same shit. But, well, actually, recently my sweet tooth is kind of degraded. I used to have way more a sweet tooth when I was younger. Maybe like a year ago.

Like, probably pre-quarantine. I had, like, way big of a sweet tooth. But I would say now a nice piece of cheesecake, bro. That shit hits the spot in a way I can't explain. Blaine, bro. What the fuck? You don't like cheesecake? No, cheesecake is bomb, but I mean, it's just like...

That shit hit different. It's like, you know, it's the fucking... The John Smith's fucking dessert, you know? It's just like... It's like the fucking... I didn't think I'd really... I can't picture you eating cheesecake is what I'm saying. Why? Because I'm a black male?

Not only that. You're a niggas. What the fuck does that mean? As I go into the light, the fuck does that mean? I feel like you would be like, you would want, let's see, just like a McDonald's ice cream cone. That's the best. What the fuck? I eat it with my fucking palm.

I crush it and I eat it because I'm a fucking ape. What do you? Is this so disrespectful? Is this so actually racially charged? What the fuck do you like, Derek? What are you like other than fucking pussy? God damn, that's hard, man. Something about, man, there's just something about

pussy, like, just kind of, you know. Pussy-shadowed, fresh shower of the shower, like she's just fucking all wet and stuff, all the little beads all over her, and you're just like, oh, it's fucking dinner time, bro. It's fucking dinner time. Anyway, but if I'm being real, because I don't want to get lost shit.

You're a penis. You're a penis with clothes on, dog. You're fucking walking around, dick. I'm going to dye my fucking hair, like, just jizz fucking color. Dye your hair, yo, shave your head and just have, like, a little p-hole, like, segment where your hair is. And then, like, do some shit where I give it the ridge. Just be a dick for Halloween. Oh, my God, dude.

That's a commitment, man. That is. I need to do something with the hair because right now it's just in chaos mode. I didn't do anything with it. I just let it just, it's just sitting where it's at. I miss my fro so much, but, um, What happened is... You grow hair pretty quick.

Yeah. It's that fucking stupid Puerto Rican blubby. My hair grows fast. So does my... So does my fucking anxiety. But... Oh, that's cool. That's story for another day.

It's sorry for another day. I feel you, man. I've... My anxiety has been very healthy, but... Yeah. It's, yeah, like you said. But, hey... So you said cheesecake, I...

I got to go with... Look, man. This is my favorite shit ever. They don't have it. anymore, but you can just make it. You get the um, um,

chip. So just vanilla ice cream, preferably, uh, French vanilla and then you go get the chips of Hoy chocolate chip and you mash that shit in. But the thing is Coldstone would have a special signature. It was an,

it was an ice cream that was milk and cookies flavor, which was like based off of the chips at Hoy. It's so fucking good, but they only have it for like a second. And then they, it's like one of those things. It's not like they have it seasonal. It's like they have it every fucking two years or some shit.

It's stupid. It's fucking stupid. But anyway, whenever I want something, I'll either, I just need, I need vanilla ice cream. I need some fucking cookies. OREO's cool. So like, like, you know, cookies and cream. That's just, that's just all right. Ice cream is so fucking basic.

I love it, but ice cream is so like. That's what I like, man. People fucking, like, I'm tired of all you people that like the, what is it, the, what is it? Ben and Jerry shit. You people the fuck? Yeah, just people in general. that just want to empty everything out of their fucking cupboards into their ice cream tool. It's now it's fucking, it's 30% ice cream and it's like fucking 70% all the other fucking bullshit.

Like, I want it to be like 80% ice cream and then 20% fucking whatever. You're such, you have such a fucking, you have such a fucking toddler's taste buds. No, it's not a little toddler taste, but it's, you fucking people or just ruin everything by trying to shove fucking everything in it. I mean, you people by just people in general are always trying to act like they need more. They're so fucking greedy. Like, I got to put, I got to have seven different fucking toppings on top of the flavor that my ice cream produces. Like, you're mad. Look, you're crazy.

All I'm saying is this, all right? I like toppings, you know, but I, as of recently years, it is true. I've gotten a little more, like, conservative in my ice cream toppings. And what happens as a person in general, I've gotten really, really, really. really okay with just eating rice and people call me crazy for that and I'm like why it does the trick it just puts a flavor on the fucking rice

you see the flavor is already in the rice bro you're not paying attention no no rice barely rice almost tastes like nothing oh man I keep fucking on my armchair I'm going too crazy in this podcast okay we got another one from Warwolf 155 greetings live they can enthusiast, the twink in Castro's basement, an unending libido. If you could somehow travel thousands of years into the future to the point where chimps slash

gorillas have evolved in such a similar way that humans did that allow them to live along humans. Do you think they would be attractive? To summarize, would you fuck a plant of the apes chick? And would it be bestiality if they're borderline humans? I mean that is objectively beastiality yeah that's clearly that's objectively beastality

it would be like fucking homo erectus or some shit like yeah like it's just in the opposite direction war wolf you are fuck nigga for asking some shit like that bro you gotta you gotta

if you're look look look look look I'm gonna say it's everybody right now I'm calling everybody out if you ever beat your dick to fucking planet the apes you need to talk to a special Hey it's Jay Shetty from on purpose

Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared.

I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl. Same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me.

Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need.

You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. Visit eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. OnDex's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000 right when you need it.

Cover, seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes,

your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic Bank. On deck does not lend in North Dakota, all loans an amount subject to lender approval. Socialist, because that's fucked. You shouldn't be touching your dick to animals, period. All right? That's fucked up. Yo, especially that the 04 Planet of the Apes with Mark Wahlberg,

that fucking chick looked like Michael Jackson, like no cap. You like, go look at it. Go pull up a picture. I've seen that movie so many times. That shit is just like, I'm like, yo, they weren't even, they literally did that on purpose. There's no way they didn't do that on purpose. It looked like Michael Jackson. Oh, my God, bro.

Look, can we double back to another argument we had? About aliens. Someone said aliens. Fucking aliens, it's beastiality. It's not beastiality at all. It's different context entirely. Because one, apes were beasts on our planet. So to us, direct intercourse between apes that are non-human apes is beastiality.

But let's say we interact with the species of creatures that are already evolved, already capable of human-like intelligence. It's different. That's different. That's what a context gets. different. It would need its own definition. It would need its own new word. It's not bestiality, but it's some type of intergalactic, interstellar, sexual, you know, whatever.

They would have to make up a new word for it because it hasn't been done yet. In a sense that, like, a species outside of our world, we haven't fucked something. Look, all I'm saying is this, all I'm saying is this, bro. the female Twilix from Star Wars the aliens the long the long tentacles

they're going behind the head that coming blue I'm fucking not me currently because I'm taken but let's see intergalactic Kingston

that was surfing throughout space and being a fucking rap scallion with this surfboard going throughout space fucking in the world

of Star Wars I'm fucking everything I can everything that can speak and has civilization and fucking calligraphy I'm fucking bro yeah because that's the world

that's the world you live in at that moment you know like with look it with that same I want to keep that with that same argument if we stumble upon the stupid as galaxy where the Star Wars Listen listen listen listen Hold on

Okay if you fucked Luke Skywalker in his ass would you consider that beastiality. Me? I'm just saying in general, if you fuck, if you fucked Princess Leigh, okay? I'm not just, I was just,

I was just, why I got to be Luke? I'll do it, but like, why I got to be Luke? Because I just, you just land on, where is he? Tattoine, where is he? Yeah, tattooing. Like, it's fucked up because Luke is a straight dude. Like, I don't want to do that.

I don't want to put him through that. But you just see, you, you're an alien. But that's, but then, but that's got to be some, you see, we see, that's dangerous water. I know he's straight. That's some James Charles shit right there, bro. I'm not with that.

Okay, good point. That's some villainous shit, you know. Good point. All right. So, so fucking, uh, Leah. You land and Leah is like literally fucking just solvating. Oh, yeah. I'd fuck, I'd fuck Leah.

She's a human also. Yeah, so now, well, is she a human though? That's the thing. How is she a human? Because, think of it like this, okay. She may not be an earthling, but she may be humans. Because this is my argument when it comes back to the whole space thing. Do you think you can shoot sperm and her and impregnate her?

Most likely, she's a human. From everything I've seen so far. Now, this is the argument, okay? This is my argument when it comes to space stuff, all right? We already know that one plus one equals two in the context of creating humanity in space. We know that a planet with X amount of time and the proper sort of carbon-based humans have the potential to exist, not will, but have the potential to exist, you know? Sure, sure. So I would imagine that humans have the potential somewhere else it could have fucking happened that the timeline plot similarly and we have humans somewhere.

You know, we already proven. We've already proven that humans can't exist in space by us being here. So you're thinking, so you're thinking that the, you know, the tiny, and look, and I'm not disagreeing with you. what happened here on earth and the galaxy far far away happened over there maybe and with the same elements and stuff yes and so so technically

they were kind of brought up and got look that is the idea of that is so insane but just knowing how big the universe is exactly it becomes fabulous that's what that's the argument like it's so unlikely but at the same time our existence is genuinely unlikely too

the amount of shit that happened Like the amount of stuff for it to happen again in this order and with to have the same type of moon and the same like just there's so much bullshit. But the universe is so fucking huge. It's possible. It's but I think and the thing is I feel like people can't even fathom how big than known universe is. It's scary when you think about it. When you start thinking about how big it is, it's just like people don't even understand how big a galaxy is. But after I said that whole, that's what I'm talking about.

That's why I said that after I said that whole dumb space race shit about like. We can't send shit outside the solar system. People called me so stupid that like I fucking, I literally took an astrology class just to see like how, like just to genuinely understand the scale of how big this universe is. And it's wild. It's so wildly big. The best way to do it, the best way to have somebody actually, because if you tell them, they're not going to be able to visualize it. You just show somebody a video. Show the solar system.

show the Milky Way and it can have it keep zooming out And then people are gonna be like what It's just one of those things It's like the same thing where it's like Oh here's the biggest star we found When you see it in relation to And to the sun

It's fucking hilarious How like 3,000 of the suns fit in the biggest star In the fucking in this galaxy Not even in the Observer the universe It's in this galaxy bro It's funny

It's just hilarious how big is it And it's just like We're tiny We ain't shit we ain't shit and that's why I say dude shit can be popping there could be

parties going on there could be a party there could be galactic wars there could be Star Wars that's the crazy they could be

Star Wars shit going on Sparters could literally be happening in the Milky Way somewhere else somewhere down the block

in the scale of the universe and we got no clue we're saying here still arguing about if fucking women could just get rid of babies

inside of them like we got so much fuck shit going on you that's so true it's wild that's it is pretty it's I feel like once we ascend that's when I think that uh I think South Park did a concept like that where

once we figured out like some type of traveling at this speed or whatever then they were gonna they were gonna invite us into some like intergalactic club but then they tested us and they were like oh what the fuck miserably we've failed fucking miserably and I was like wow this is so real

because this is exactly how it would play down. Oh yeah, we'd fail. We'd fail. We'd fail in 100th. Completely. We couldn't. And imagine, I'm so glad that,

like, I just want to say, it depends on who we bring up. It depends on who we bring to them. Because there's some of us that could pass. Like, like, I think I could pass.

If they asked me, like, they were like Kingston. If they were like Kingston, you? Yeah, I could pass. What the fuck?

What is this a Fisher-Price-Priced? No, if they test my moral comp, But they test them on Moral Compass. Okay, moral compass is, I don't know. I think they'll probably scan some shit and be like, okay, Kingston. You know, they have their like alien fucking, it's like a floating clipboard and shit. And it's just like, all right.

So we just want to do a quick scan of this. All right, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's enact this. Explain. Okay, so go for it. Let's go. Because someone's going to animate this, of course. So let's hear it. Okay.

Okay. So they land down aliens and one of them comes out. You know, he's got like fucking, you know. know, two tentacles for eyes, but you know, you can still see somehow. Okay. I'd be like, whoa. All right. Kingston Jameson.

Yeah, that's me. Yeah. All right. So, uh, we're with, we're, we're, we're with the intergalactical fucking space niggas or whatever. And we want to, we want to invite, we want to invite you to share our fucking space gold and everything. And then you'll, every, you'll always feel like you're having orgasms and shit.

Oh, awesome. Awesome. So what we need from you, we need to make sure that you're a decent human being. So we're going to scan you real quick and ask you some questions. All right, yeah. Yeah, I guess. That'd be great. All right.

So then it like scans like bram-r-r-r-r-you-know, some like ray thing and it just looks like jizz. It just throws jizz on you. It looks like jizz, but it's just space jelly that's just testing your moral compass. And the first thing that comes up. Does it wiggle? If I can feel it moving out, that's a problem. It's just like, well, it's sliding down, like, like jelly. But it's happening.

All right. Hmm. Could you please explain to me what LiveLeak is and what is the purpose of LiveLeak? Well, a period of time went by where there was this website that you could watch. Niggil, we saw everything. We've seen everything you've watched. You've fucking failed. Wait, wait, wait, let me.

You're fucking done. It's deeper than that. It's deeper than that. It is deeper than that. deeper than that. It's far deeper than that. Allow me to explain at least. I'm sorry. At least allow me to explain. I am dropping a nuclear ball. And I would haka lugi on me. You probably disintegrate. We fucking turn it to dust. And I'd be like, ah, you fucking alien bitch, you stupid bitch. Give me a fucking cool-ass gun. Oh, no. Oh, no. We've been defeated by

the Great Sweetie and then they fucking retreat. And then I become the fucking king of the world. And they erect statues of me. fuck that I love that'd be that'd be a fuck the reality because you guys would still just know me so like out of like it was one day

where there was aliens and then the next day like I'm the king of the planet and it's just like you're the king of the planet you're like hey what's up I'm I'm Kingston and I killed an alien I was going to invade us

yippee you have a throne that is like is as, it's like, as tall as Mount Everest. It's a throne made of bitches. Could you imagine? They,

they piled a bunch of women on top of a. Throne of bitches, bro. And I'm just laying a sprawling on it. And who bothers me in my time of relaxation? Can we contact George R.R. Martin to be like, hey, man,

what do you think about throwing a bitches as a new concept? Let's not, Oh my God. I've recently been ranting about Game of Thrones a lot. I've seen that. I saw that.

I was like, this motherfucker's rewatching Game of Thrones right now. No, because I read read, I read, I read, what you go, Dance of Dragons.

That's why. Okay. And I was just like, God, damn it. It's been 10 years, bro. It's actually been 10 years.

The last book dropped. That's, uh, it. George, I think, doesn't give a flying fuck. after just just piles of money fucking slapped him in the face after the show.

I think George, I think at first he was like, I'm writing this on my own time. Like when I'm done, it'll be done. Like how artists are supposed to create things. Yeah. But then I think it turned into like spites. Like, fuck you guys. I don't care what y'all say. I'm going to finish this when I finish this.

And it's like, George, I get it. But the book, first of all, the book is a man. Masterpiece. People that have not, people that like Game of Thrones and have not read the book, you guys got to read that book. Those books are insane. I particularly like what you call it Storm of Swords. That's my personal favorite book. Do you know that's how I discovered? That's how I discovered. Hey, it's Jay Shetty from On Purpose. Check out the best of a moment we did presented by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions,

just me, the music, and my thoughts. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up, and somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. So I searched for that same vinyl,

the same version, the same cover, and I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I couldn't wait to listen. And when I finally did, the music was the same, but I wasn't. I heard it differently. I understood it differently. And that's when it really hit me. Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose,

of versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. To listen to more, check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. eBay.com to shop your favorite finds. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. Cashflow crunch. OnDec's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws, transparent pricing,

and control over repayment. Get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. OnDak does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. But I didn't, I discovered them because it was a Jedi Mindtricks song. Really? So like, yeah, Jedi Mind Tricks off of a Visions of Gandhi, a fucking great album, has a song

called The Storm of Swords. And so I was like, what the fuck does that mean? And then it led me to the Game of Thrones. It's so fucking good, man. And like, like, so. Do you remember who Yaron Grayjoy is, right? Yeah.

You're on Grayjoy in the fucking show. Is this like some fucking stupid pirate who just wants to fuck the queen? Fuck, Circe. In the fucking book, he's like a warlock that sailed to the edge of the planet and saw like real fuck dark magic.

And he has a trumpet that can control dragons. Like, he's a fucking demon. I'm pretty sure he's going to be the final. bad guy like in the book like I don't think it's gonna be the white walkers and they're gonna they're gonna get fucked by the white walkers and then they're gonna be like oh shit where where is the story in the book john just where did it end off at john died so that's where it stopped john died and then there's a few uh like small passages that are like found to my internet where it shows john inside of ghost because he can war in the fucking in the movie was like fucking ghost no

he's like he's he can war he can like do the thing that brand does All of the Starks can do it in the book, not just Brand. Brand is the best one, but everyone can do that. It's because he's crippled, right? That's the best. Yeah, you got to reallocate skill points. You can't walk no more. So he's the best one at it, but Brand is doing that.

Lady Melasandra never left Castle Black. So she's just in Castle Black right now. What else is really different? What is it called? doesn't burn his daughter, Stannis. He doesn't burn his daughter alive. Like, so much shit is just different, but there's so much worse shit, like, on the horizon.

Like, Katlin comes back from the dead as, like, a zombie that just kills people and she can't talk. And, like, it's super fucked. And it's like, George, just finish it for us. She came back as a zombie? Yeah. Not like a whitewalker? She came back as a zombie because of the, you know, the people that brought back, um, you

You know the guy that brought those, those, those like, those self-sourge. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She got brought back in a similar fashion, probably not the exact same way, but she got brought back. But when she was brought back, she came back crazy. Yeah. Hey, I want to say something. Just a quick break.

This is not for the audience. Chris, if you remember, hopefully you see this or hear this, maybe put some type of spoiler thing. Like, well, I'm going to say this. Look at, look, there's some people that haven't read the fucking books that I probably want to read them, and they're probably like, fuck. Because, like, it was giving away some juicy shit. So I just want to say this real quick. Hey, yo, fuck those people. Spoiler alert.

If you, fuck you guys. If you guys haven't read it yet, suck my dick. Suck my fucking dick. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert if you haven't read the Game of Thrones books. Yeah. So just put that at the front. If you choose.

All right, continue. Eat my fucking balls. if you haven't fucking watched it yet. That's all I gotta say. Eat my fucking meat. Jesus Christ. Fucking cowards. All right.

Let's go on to the next, let's go on to the next question. Let me see. Am I going to hit this one too? Okay. Chase Hensley says, hello, Beetle King, Music Man,

and impending Doom. Okay. Would you guys ever considering opening a P.O. box or something of the sort so people can send you things like fan art and stuff, and stuff of that nature. No. No.

The anthrax scared really molded a lot of my personality. I don't like people sending me shit. Don't send me shit. I don't want it. Keep it to yourself. Unless it's like fucking,

I don't know, to cure the depression. Other than that, keep your shit to yourself. I had a PO box for, I think, a month or so. Or I forgot how ever long I had it.

Oh, it was six months. It was a six month stint or whatever. And this was in 2017. and I did receive some cool shit. One thing, there's two things that I received that I didn't really, I wasn't too fond of. One was, it was okay at the time, but then what it molded into that whole Kekistan disaster. Oh my God. Yeah, so there's a hat.

There's a, somebody made a Kekistan hat, and I'm just like, this is a fucking relic. But I also am like, this is like awful, right? The fucking Kekistan hat. But it wasn't the worst thing in the world at the time, but then as time, It just became like the worst thing and then like real fucking Nazis started adopting it just became Oh my god. Oh my god. Right.

And then some guy, I think I still might have this shit. But I was like I don't understand what it is. I was like is this like a manifesto? I can't I don't even. It was like written on yellow paper front to back just all this. It had to been some old guy about not understanding stuff and kids these day. And it just was like what in the fuck is this? You got sent to manifesto, bro.

I don't know. I got something. It didn't make sense, though. It wasn't like there was like a point to. It was just a bunch of weird ramblings and shit. And since it was written on paper front to back, I was like, this guy has to be old. Because no young motherfuckers doing that. Like, they're not doing that shit.

That's crazy. It was really weird. But that was the weirdest shit. Everything else was cool. I got sent some like really hot stuff, like hot sauce and all this shit. Some cool things. a gift card fucking music like some like I got sent a lot of cool shit

Um, nah our friends are Our fans are too angsy They would probably send some really fuck shit And I'd be like They probably would Like I can't I can't deal with the angst anymore And I don't want people sending me angsty shit I'd be like yo it's really really

Suck dick and fall asleep for real Yeah Yeah I'd It would yeah I don't think I would Yeah It would really you would really have to like have a

I just don't know man yeah there's too many weirdos unless you told people specifically to only send this type of shit and then you can kind of direct it and then like say like oh send this stuff send uh fucking conums because I you know we'd be fucking

like some shit like that and then vast amounts of pussy bro vast like the ocean like if you put every woman in the ocean we fuck that much pussy oceans and fucking seas of sparkling, glimmering pussy. That's what we've...

All right. The next question comes from Dylan the depressed gears fan. The depressed gears fan. I mean, it is kind of depressing. Yes. Dylan is a guest fan. Bunting Donovan should be on the show,

but with only three-fifths, the host, okay, I'll compromise. That is rude. That is respectful. I don't like that. To the real question, when I was in high school, I used to act pretty cringe. And it was often hard to look back because it was so gross. What are some ways you are proud of yourself from moving on from moving on from?

You're proud of yourself from moving on from that point. By the way, Derek is correct. Talley is the only right mass effect romance. Fuck you. Fuck Tally Sora. She got them hips, though. She do got them fucking alien hits. Bra, brah, bra.

Like, just look at this bitch right here, man. We, we about to pull her out again. Look, look at that, man. Look at them hips, dude. Look at the booty. She got them hips. But how can you, you can't fuck her, though? What do you mean you can't fuck her?

Because she'll get sick. She'll get sick, though. She had a sore throat. And then, you know why she had a sore throat? Fucking, she was deep throwing the fuck out of Shepherd's massive hog. Like that's that Massive hog Yeah

You know fucking that mother You know that motherfucker is like 10 inches soft Like just soft He's just soft He's just like He's just fucking He's just fucking He's just fucking like

Massive hog Dude Whoa Dude Shepard does not fuck around Dude And he You know he's intense

He know he fucking Wrecked her And she was fine She just had a sore throat That's it She was like Oh like I'm a little sick or whatever, but like, I'm good. And I'm like, good, because round two's fucking in two seconds.

Right. Like, they cut that out, though. Oh, back to the question. Oh, what's the question? Oh, what'd you call? He pretty much asked, what'd you call, is it hard to look back on what you call it, who we were before? And are we proud of ourselves from growing from who we were? I am super proud of myself because I have learned a lot how one to not. I've, I've learned a lot. Particularly, yeah, yeah, yes, particularly. I never cared about the internet when I was growing up. I was like, internet, it's a place where I watch porn and like, it'll tell me what game is good and stuff like that. Now I've really gotten used to just like not giving a fuck about what happens. I don't give a shit.

As long as I can still look at my D&D lore and play Magic to Gathering now, I'm fine. Also, I've gotten way less edgy. I think I've gotten super like, that's not exactly my thing anymore. I've definitely gotten more confrontational because I like making fun of people more. I'm getting old and crotchety. But I think the edge is really like kind of dissipated off me. I guess. I mean, I would really have to have like people verify that, like other people that know you when you were younger and see how much different you are.

Or if people are like, man, you haven't changed a bit, you know. I would have to verify that shit. I don't know who said. I think my girlfriend gets sad changed a lot. Yeah. Other than getting fat. Oh, yeah, that happens, man. It happens to the best of it was.

What about you, Derek? Expanding. Well, I don't know. I didn't do like a bunch of crazy shit when I was young. I did some dumb shit, but I really kept to myself for the most part because I didn't really want to, like, feel the wrath of my mom. you know so I didn't get too crazy um and I mean really like I just there wasn't like there there isn't that much of a difference of me when I was younger and now but uh except for the same thing where it's just like wait I've expanded to why I'm going very horizontal

but uh I'm a wall now bro I'm a wall over here but I was a wall when I was younger but the wall had like gaps in between it now I'm just a wall now I'm just a straight enough wall yeah I'm I've gotten to the point where in I don't know this is like the weirdest thing where uh some people know that I have this heart condition but it shouldn't it's not as far as I'm concerned it's not related but like say I um I fucking I was like sitting down I was like

yo what the fuck's going on like I had a little bit of like watery tension in my ankles or some shit and I was like is this from being fat bro like I'm like am I just like am I just like getting fat and not like shit's like not circulating around as good or something like it's it's weird i'm gonna talk to my doctor about it but like i was just like yo i got a fucking i got to like turn it i got to like a hundred percent i got to go well i to me as uh maybe um it's kind of almost the opposite where you know i i didn't i was do i was so much more active when i was younger i was really curious and really hungry about consuming music and learning new things and uh and also

playing sports and doing all this shit and say now I've gotten older and I feel like maybe I'm different in kind of a negative way to where I've really slowed everything down. I'm not... I would say the same way. I used to be way

more like I was I was like an athlete until like maybe like 20. Like I had... This is Sophia Bush from Work in Progress with Sophia Bush. Check out this special moment we did on our show presented by eBay. There's a different kind of of care that comes with letting something meaningful go, especially when it has a story attached to it.

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Like, I used to like, oh, man, that must be nice, you know. It, it, dude, I fucking, like, I definitely want to get back to it. But the biggest thing, and it really, it's, it's really like everybody's fucking problem is just being completely financially secure where you don't have to worry about that shit. And then you can just focus on the other stuff. like the the nutrition and the fucking fitness and all that stuff the thing the nutrition is so hard bro like that's like because cause eating get cleaning eating habits up is like if you do that you'll pour off weight fast that is like the biggest that's like the basic to do

but it's so on almost unrealistic even for people to have money to just like completely change their diet to the point where they just eat like clean like good meals that will fill them up that are just like not going to make them gain weight it's wild. Like I wish I had a fucking dietitian and a fucking like a personal chef that would cook me things that I enjoy that are good for me. Yeah, that's another thing, right? Like the things that you enjoy because they, especially if you, I used to, I used to meal prep and I actually enjoyed it. My thing is I'm, I'm at a, I'm at a place where I really like, oh, you know what you got to. It's gone because I was living in a really dope spot and I could have meal prepped every

fucking Sunday like I used to a few years ago when I was in like tremendous shape and I got to the point where I moved where I move now in L.A. like with my family like I really was like oh I'm going to try to help out and do all this stuff and I'm going to also save some money in return and it just kind of like the worst mistake I've ever fucking made and it's like my health went it just deteriorated and I'm I noticed like I went when I when I went to Europe for three weeks I went to Lithuania um I was kind of I was feeling good and stuff. When I came back, immediately I noticed like, oh, my head's hot again. Like, just the stress thing. Like, I'm annoyed by the people that are, and then, like, fucking,

uh, the house is just, it's, it's old and dilapid. Oh, it's like falling apart some parts. And, like, we're getting ready to sell this shit so I can get the fuck on out of here. But it's just, it's destroyed me to a point where I'm like, I should have took advantage of that shit before. Now I'm in a place where, dude, the kitchen, it's so nasty. Like, I don't like cooking in here. It's because like I, you know, I live with somebody who just is basically, he's, he's a human, he's a human trash can. I feel, yeah. And so for me, what happened was that like, what you call, uh, over the quarantine, because when I used to work at Starbucks, I was like always moving someone, so that kept me like, at least like always moving. But as I, as I stopped during the quarantine,

I just like, I became a contrary. I became my pitching at streams like that like that. So my back got like a little bit of a twinge to it. And I recently went to, you know, to the doctor and they were like, oh, you just have a pinch nerve because you gained so much weight that your back curved a little bit and you have a pinch nerve. So we're going to work on that. So like I want that to be like fixed before I go like because I was going back to the gym again and I started like doing my usual cardio and lifting. But then like when I was doing cardio, I was jumping rope to like get myself to cool down

after like doing a lyrical for like 45 minutes. And I felt like a shock straight down my leg. And I was like, I probably shouldn't be jumping rope right now. now. So I have to go to a doctor and they're going to be like, hey, we're going to probably unpinch this nerve somehow or figure how they're going to do that. And then once that's done, then I'll be fully back on the horse. You're probably going to get some PT, some physical therapy.

Yeah. As a matter of fact, I need to call because they called me while I was on vacation. Because I have a bulge, I have a bulging disc or whatever. My cervical spine's all fucked. So I need. And the thing. is though it it I noticed that stress affects it more though because I was like good I fucking came back here bro and like all of a sudden I'm like oh what's happening like I'm like

it's starting to reverse so basically I need to get the fuck out of here I need to get out of here I get the fuck out of here it's that what you call it's it's it's it's it's also that like clean European fucking the trees and fucking and nymphs and shit walking around air nymphs where you don't got to worry by any bullshit it was chill nice clean pussy man I mean that like Yeah Getting getting getting like

Like Vagina revoked Is is Is is It's kind of It kind of does Kill you a little bit It turns you into a chimp

It turns you into an Like a guy Like it turns you into Gollum You turn into like a Please Anything for a glimpse of the pus And you start like

Fucking hobbling around And you just You turn it You become something that no man should. You become thirsty. And a thirsty man is dangerous because they lose their standards. And they do fuck shit. And that is the most dangerous form of a human.

Because at that moment, we can be manipulated. Yeah. I'm pretty disciplined, though. I'm very disciplined. But I suffer. It makes me, it's, I suffer. But I have to suffer because I'm, I'm not a, I'm not a trifle. human being that's just like jizzes and everything, you know, even though you may think that,

people have the perception. I am a very monogamous type of person, you know, I just want to come multiple times in one box, if you know what I mean. Yeah, monogamy is the way to go for the most part. But, um, let's see. For the most part. And I think that all about do it for today's episode of the Dark Tank v. 5 or 4. Thank you guys for tuning in. We appreciate all the love and support. Don't forget to follow us on the Snark Tank Patreon, where for $1 a month, you get early access,

$5 a month to get your question done on the show, $15 a month gets you access to the Discord. That's one-time payment, and that's it. And $25 a month get your name red at the end of the episode. which Christoph will do now. Roller skater the bipolar masturbator Deja vu, I've sucked this dick before.

Apple Jack is the best pony. I will die on this hill. Y'all are fucking stupid. I called the Coast Guard to save my anal virginity. Faking your mistaken. If you think I'm taking what's pouring out your soul, broken down a victim of your lies

Ritchchester Bennington. Jesus fucking Christ. Schindler's List part two this time it's personal. I have seen the footage. Ryber 525 and the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation. Jack Hing off. Racists snake. Ten hours of spawn saying Malboja.

I don't even have to hear. I don't have to have these on. I'm not listening to anybody else. Ten hours of spawn saying Malboja, relaxing sounds for stress relief, meditation, deep sleep. Wanting to, fuck, Tali, Zora doesn't make you a furry. It makes you based. A vex simulation gone sexual. Tell him Steve Dave.

Chris Reagan, more like cringe Gacom. Otaku Bernal, aka Kami Bernal, aka the Coom God, Canadian, that pays $33.23.25 for this tier. I almost did it as a decimal. Tubercularized, Arthur Morgan, Andre Brooks, a pimp name Slickback, Antifist Maximist, who claimed Hitler's remaining testicle. In the Hollywood Hills tread cautiously, 200 paces in the gaze of the one-eyed witch. There are Tomar Emerald Sleeps, Not Gay Ben. I'm not gay. Really? No, I'm not. Seriously, I swear I'm not. You have to believe me. Who do you think could stand up to kill God in Snark Tank?

Your guys' names are just becoming, um, just inconceivable collections of English alphabetical characters, you know? Uh, white, Jesus, I'm not even editing this. Fuck this. White guilt paying his reparations, but not guilty enough to shorten my name, take my money. John Strickland, Boo Sniggins, Merck's 1889. The Milkman. that looks like Chris, dank magician of chaos. Yes, Derek, he counts as bestiality if you want to fuck Tally Zar. Jack McCann, the Irish man who died three times to absolute bullshit encounters in Curse of Strad. When in doubt, sploge it out.

The first church of Keith David, Renegade Highway Tires, just want to hug your face at high velocity. Goops McKenzie, Dieldo. Dildo. I don't know how to say that name still. Femboy Hooters waiter. Sammy and his big titty fishy. The Southern chick that will pimps smack yo ass bitch.

drunken doulahan my name is irene you know what to do we don't we really don't uh pre-rods Doug walker is my sleep paralysis demon a tiny Asian man with a cock that's massive in relation to his body but average in the relation to regular regular size person you guys are cowards give me the fucking dolphin jelly come man the man have come back from cummy yummy grave Blake 896, the epic Oshawa's silly putty eater, can a crypt date an Asian name Sue Wu. I'm going to take a moment to check my phone real quick because this is the end of the show.

And I can do that. All right. Fucking kill me. That was actual somebody's name. That wasn't me saying that. Derek getting them chicks with his onion head haircut. Hey boss, I have captured all three of the Snark Trinity and now I have to crave the embrace of human being,

for I have ascended. Ryan Luchesse, I care about Chris's mental health, but at the same time, I'm upset that I couldn't hear Lyle's reaction to our stupid names. Slashy Scout, Keith David, but I'm not gay. I have relationships with women and jagoff to gay furry porn. Cute femme boy with sexy thigh highs. Tom Sweeney, the notorious alien fucker. Please check on my podcast called How Do We Get Here Every Thursday?

I think this guy's dead. He hasn't changed his name in a long time. Leroy Jenkins, hope you guys like Weezer. Chris, you guys can keep your skin color. I told my black dog, you Puerto Rican. Hard hat skydiver. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian. Fuck you, Chris, my name will be as long as I want. I pay $25 for this shit.

The Cajit does not talk in the third person because his father is HP Lovecraft. That weird British guy from sanity not included. Alaska Noro Phil Trash. The Pussy Hat incident of 2016. Juan Punchman. Marcus Shorten, Papa Nurgle, a crab named Heller. Jank Weiger. Reeducation Zar of Gene.

Zhang, Jesus Christ. Game Controller 25. Tom's breedable Mexican femboy. Murder ascended. Keith David, the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain. Logan Paul versus Ian Miles Chong's SWAT team. Lobotomized Jesus featuring Derek Chauvin and his left knee of night night.

Sunny side up abortion baby. Haco crumpled foreskin. Baller, ballistic, buttons banging big booty ballet boys, broken busy. Seven days old abortion. Hey, you, you're finally awake. You're trying to across the border, right, walked right into that Imperial Ambush, same as us. The first ever game to introduce Rumble feature, Worm Odyssey,

Hiroshima Spicy Mushrooms. Is this hard to read because I'm running out of ideas, to be honest? Dummy Think Dave, Heartless Wretch, aka the conductor of the Chimp Orchestra. I give it a 9.5 at a 10. That's a pretty nice cock. Sweeney eating the snark tank, soggy biscuit. I'm a dick suck. I like a dick suck. I'll buy you a dick suck. E. N. G. Jackson, Apsage, Badly, the movie theater manager. Ethereum, Chris Gate, My Pagirian, Hunting Ass, all hands on Dick. Arrow. You all should play fucking Vermintyed

Two melee focused Left for Dead like And you get to slap man high rats And Norwegians around, Richter 86 And of course, as always, King of Hap Hazard. Goodbye. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots?

Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click-and-collect slot at tesco.com. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. This is Daniel Fischel.

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