The Snark Tank - #77: Bell of the Ball

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

The absurd shit you can find on YouTube, Full Metal Sheen, Space Jam 2, Drake Bell got GOT, Call of Duty and the fun words their players use, Tim Allen is the worst, dishwashers are a scam, and myths and legends! Our first episode of the Snark Tank edited by the wonderful CameraColossus! Our Editor ► https://twitter.com/CameraColossus Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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It's another snark once me. Tank Podcast. It's another one of these. We're all here. The gang's all here. And boy, we've got a lot to talk about today. There's so much stuff. Can't, I can't even,

there's really no way to even narrow it down. But, of course, nothing has happened as of the day we're recording this. There's actually, I bet there's, I bet some fucked shit is going to happen tomorrow, probably, you know? Yeah. It's going to be one of those days again.

We're like, we say, ah, nothing's happened. So we're not going to, we don't know what to talk about. And then the day it comes out, I don't know, Biden. Biden, there's like a long-lost Biden twin that, like, shows up out of nowhere. And he's a rapper from-Nega Biden. Nega Biden? Yeah. It's the negat chin.

And they fucking, they fight to the death. And then we will, and the thing that's awful is that the, the nega Biden is worse than Trump. He's like. He's like, he's like, he's like openly, seethingly racist. Did. I would love that shit. You know. Trump is pretty damn racist already.

So could you imagine someone worse than that? I did notice a jet, like, I've noticed, right, that it seems to me like the word, the word nega isn't really used that often in like fiction anymore. Yeah. You know, like they think. Yeah. That was like it made me because of the fact that it's so close to sound like nigger and people don't want to say that. But like did people, were people unaware of that? Like back then, I feel like they had to have been aware of it.

I feel like people were aware of it. People were less apologetic about just saying nigger before. So I think the world's like, let's just ease up off this for a little bit. Yeah, it was always pretty cool to say nigger, right? And then now it's kind of like, oh, you know, now it's only left to, uh, Real niggas and Puerto Ricans. That's about it. Real niggas, Puerto Ricans and white kids that don't know any black people.

What? In their social circles, for sure. There's like, there's a black kid at my school. I can say nigg all like one. Is like, have you said it to him? Nah, he's kind of scary. It's exactly every conversation. Did you see that one guy?

Did you see that one guy? This was maybe like two, three weeks ago where they were in a 7-Eleven. And I don't know how the beef started, but it was just this white, it was like, it was slim shady. It was literally Marshall Mathers. still on eight mile. And then he was just this one, you know, this one dude in slides. And he just kept saying like, uh, I don't know like what the beef was.

And he was like, oh, I can say niggas as much as I want and stuff. So I think that was he probably tweet. Is that the twisted tea video? That was ancient. That was it. That video is old, bro. I mean, I said like two, three months ago, dude. Oh, I thought, okay.

Well, yo, that twisting tea exploded on his fucking head. That was hilarious. he is. That was that was probably one of my favorite things that happened in quite some time. And that's the guy. That's the guy that's that grew up in the specific neighborhood and nobody checked

them ever until fucking third, however old he was. It took 30 years. And he's going to go say some shit like that. So like, like, you just got to know where you're at, bro. I'm a black man. And I'm not going to go to Compton calling everybody, nigger. Because I just, I just I just know, like, hey, some of these guys probably hate my nigger.

Like, I'm not going to call them that. I actually don't think I've seen that video that you're talking about, this twisted tea. It's a classic already. Yeah. Man, I helped. I uploaded that shit to some, some Doom Eternal. And it got taken down so quick. Not because the Doom Eternal, because YouTube just immediately was like, this is too violent, bro.

It was too violent. Wow. So it didn't get struck for, like, the music or anything. It actually got struck for the fucking video content. Yeah, I was shocked and it went down in minutes. I was so, I was like, what the fuck, dude? All right. I have exactly what this episode could be about right now.

We could talk about all the bullshit that's on YouTube that should not be on YouTube. Because I, as I remember very recently, we all went through like a- You mean everything? No, no, no, no, no. There's some shit that straight up should not be on the website. That's just on there. Like, I've watched, all right, now, listen. Guys, before everybody gets mad at me and says Sween, that's kind of sussy.

I'm a suss person to begin with, right? I'm a little strange, right? I teeter. But I've seen full-on videos about gelking on YouTube. Yeah. Straight up. It's just on YouTube. Because it's educational somehow.

That's all it is. That's all it is. Put the quotes on there. I've seen girls get their assholes bleached on YouTube. Sure. I've seen. naked women that are naked that I've seen, we've seen

Ariel and nip, she's cooking vegan food on YouTube and that says allowed. Oh yeah. And they're not exactly coffee innemas, man. Naked yoga is the hottest topic of 2021. You type in, you type in naked yoga and you have

videos that have been up for two days and already has over a million fucking hits. No way. Oh, never mind. It's a ton of it. Yeah, dude. It's just one of those things, like, you can sort by, like, newest. And basically, like, if you search any keywords that you would normally, that you would normally, like, not search on YouTube,

if you search those keywords on YouTube and sort by, like, most recent, there'll be, like, a fuckload of just insane, like, an insane amount of crazy shit. Like, that, I guess the, I guess the site's just too big to really, like, process all of it. With any real accuracy? Because there's like what, like, I think it's some crazy thing, like over a million hours Like a minute is uploaded or some some fucking crazy stat about you too

But it makes sense there's crazy shit on on there man like we saw what was it we we had some friends over and Yellow Spoon Girl was was over here and she was like let's look up this shit I feel like it was like milf Milf's cleaning. Milf's cleaning. Milf's cleaning. On YouTube. And it was just this crazy shit.

I was like, this is fucking just red tube. This is just red tube. Like straight up. Like, holy shit. I'm seeing mounds, dude. This is porn light. It is porn light. Yeah.

And that's why it's funny how many views, stuff like that gets, when you can actually just watch porn itself. But people just have this natural curiosity, this taboo. type of thing that they like to do they know they shouldn't be watching this on this platform so then it's just much more intriguing yeah because otherwise like why that will just go watch naked tits on porn hub I think it's right there it's a combination of it being little kids that that that have porn hub and things

blocked on their computers so they had to get crafty so they came in that is that is a good point I hadn't thought about that because it's been what like 20 years since I've had any kind of website blocked on any of my devices. So it's not even like something that I would have immediately jumped to. There's not even something I really remember that much because I feel like I wasn't really using the internet that much back then. Like I remember like the first like I would look up porn on my PSP and it would take fucking.

Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay.

Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kamen was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an

accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-360. five. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. It would take hours for like a photo to load. It would just be photos, still images, man. Still images, man. That's it. Yeah. Fucking. Yeah, I, to bypass that, um, I printed out some. You printed out, was your, were your parents ever like, what's, why do we not have

ink, dude. I mean, hey, man, fucking school, they're very demanding with our fucking work, especially the colored ink for whatever reason. They just really demanded so much from us. I would be so let down if my kid fucking printed out porn.

I'd be so let down. I would respect my kid. Especially in this day and age, and it's completely unnecessary. He 3D prints it? And my kid. Yeah. He 3D prints a porn scene, and you're like, yo, what is this? And he's like, dad that is fucking he just names the porn star's name he's like dad that's what's her name getting plowed

by some other guy and i'd be like yo hide this like you're grounded like i'm not going to tell your mom like hide this you tell him hide this you're grounded put this in your room somewhere dude i'd be like son okay i wouldn't want a 3d thing because i wouldn't want that's just the road to you know to the in cell kingdom like i don't want that is it king you know, like, yeah, if you're putting, because a printing on a picture, it's just like, oh, you're, you're just a horny little bitch, you know, like, you'll get rid of that. The 3D printing, you're trying to replicate a woman.

No, no, no, it's not, it's not like life size. It's just like they're diorama size, like, like special edition video game statue size. Yeah, yeah, it's like, here's a porn scene. This is like Riley Reed and fucking, what's it? What's that old guy the fucking guy who's like Ryan Jeremy? Like here are these two people. Why was he so famous? Anyway Like fucking that was like a that was like the first porn star that I really understood was a person Who is famous for that and he's like the ugliest person like I knew about him before I knew about like

Janna Jamison and like all of these like really like Oh my god, there was somebody else I can't remember Me was Sasha Gray. That was the first person in parts I ever heard of. That was the first one I ever heard of. I thought you said Sugar Ray. And I thought she was in Spider-Man for years. Like, isn't she in a Spider-Man movie?

And everybody's like, no, she's not. I'm like, I'm pretty sure. No. I thought Sasha Gray, isn't that a... That's her name, Ray. Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of a singer. I think her name's like Skyler Gray or some shit. Yeah, probably.

That might have been who was in the movie. No. Yeah, it's Sasha Gray. What are you talking about? Skyler Gray. Oh, yeah, Skyler Gray. You remember? Remember, what's that fucking?

Oh my God, I can't remember his name right now. Lupe Fiasco. And he had that song where he's just like shitting all over like everybody. And talks about the Gaza Strip and all that stuff. And Obama. Remember all this? It was all controversial. It was little weapons.

It was all like, and then Skylar Grey was on it. So unless it was Sasha Gray. Maybe it was. I don't think it was. I have a sneaking suspicion. It was not Sasha Gray. I learned of a porn star from Eric Andre's show. Like, Aja Akira, or Asia Kira or something?

Asa Akira? Is that it? Yeah, yeah. She was on that. Classic. Classic. Classic porn. That's one thing.

I never got into, I never got into porn stars. I just never gave a fuck. Like, to me, the concept of that was just so stupid. Or I'm like, you're, you're famous for. for having dicks in you, that's okay. Like, what the fuck? Like, I don't need to know. I just want to see some cool shit happening.

It wasn't about, like, how different, like, what are these, what are they people? What are they doing different? Like, what do you bring it to the table versus like somebody else? What do you mean? What do you mean? They're like, you're looking for like artistry. Like, you know, that's what they're doing. That's what they're doing.

That's why they're propping up artists and stars. They're fucking stars. So I'm like, what are they bringing to the table differently? Nothing. Why are they stars? I mean, there's different, there's different grades of pussy game or like, or dick-sucking air like that, there is. It's very similar.

It's not about what they bring to this. It's just the fact that this is like this is a person who takes it seriously and does it professionally. That's literally it. That's all any star is. Well, yeah. Stars don't bring fucking, like maybe Tom Cruise does his own stunts, maybe. But that's like the only person that I could think of that does anything particularly unique as far as like being a normal star. Like who does anything?

You know what I mean? Like that's particularly interesting outside of just doing the, job that they're supposed to be doing. Well, I mean, the whole thing is the idea is that the job is interesting in itself. Like, acting is actually really interesting. Like, I would do some background stuff. There are actors, too, though. I liked being, yes, they are actors, and yet, that's very true. It is very true that they are actors, but I still, it's just one of those things that, like, I'm not even trying to come from an ignorant point of view. It's just, I'm not trying to, but it's just at the end of the day, it's like, you.

You can have a movie like the Fast and Furious franchise or you can have there will be blood. You have this very huge fucking range of stuff that you can do. With porn, it's dicks and ass, dicks and pussy. Pussy's doing weird shit to each. You know what I'm saying? It's like the variety is actually much smaller. And so my thing is I understand having a personality outside of fucking. Right.

You understand what I'm saying? So I get it. So I'm almost answering my own question now. working things out where it's like, okay, you want to see this person, fuck. I kind of get that. But that doesn't mean nothing to me. Well, it's like, it's like Sylvester Stallone did porn. Like, you remember, like, when he had that tape?

And I haven't watched it. So Jackie Chan used to do porn, man. Yeah, yeah. And I bet there are people who'd be like, I'm just curious, like, genuinely to see this. That's, that is true. I've definitely, because I was a big wrestling fan, big pro wrestling fan. and even like as fucking as horrific you know like hugely muscular of the wrestler china was oh my god you watched it too she fucked this dude Xbox I had to see it how could you not see

it too I watched it too I watched it too I was so fucking I was like I don't really want to watch this my friends are like bro we got to watch this man yeah and fucking Xbox's Xbox his his fucking dick is is a fucking boomerang dude it's fucking like curves that has it has a curve to it like you throw that shit and it'll come back it was really it's not like cali you know oh it bends a little bit to left or right you know if you've been like stationed you know like it's bending this way it's i was like dude this guy's from fucking down under this is crazy like i don't even know how that happens like how do you have a a penis that curves the i don't know how that happens how are you storing your dick i saw a video of some guy you know how um you know how like shiba's tails curl up like like jay

you really curl up. I saw a video of a guy's dick that curled up like a sheep's tail. It was real, bro. You have to do, they have to do physical therapy to get your dick knocked a curve like that. I'm not even lying. I'm not even lying. If he gets an erection it would curl up. He had to get physical therapy. I'm not lying. He would have to like train it that way to stay because like I got a dude, I got a little bit of a right link because that's where I station it. From all these years of stationing my my my piece. in the same position, it has a little bit of a mold. I imagine the only way that a curl can happen is if you molded it and you just like you.

You can be born with a disfigured penis slightly and it can be, it can go upward. I've seen some weird shit on like rotten. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work.

That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kamen was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamod. Hello, Lotus Alon. and the parts to finish it.

eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion

1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Dot com, sure. But like, but a fucking curl?

It curls up, bro. I can't. I sincerely, I don't believe you. Like, that is insane. I swear to God. I swear to God. I wouldn't just lie about this. It's real. Well, it's not about you lying. You believe it's real, but it's not. It's crazy. I was like, what's wrong? with his dick. You, the thing is you would lie about that, though. I think you would.

I wouldn't. I would not lie. I don't care enough about that. All right, hold on. You wouldn't lie on purpose. I believe that you believe you saw this. But I also believe

you didn't see it. It's like the same thing with this Last of Us trailer that you convinced this existed. Look, okay. They said, okay. So a long time ago,

a long time ago, Sweeney, like, he walked into the living room and like a bunch of our friends were here. I think it was like Paul. and like somebody else. I think Joe was there too. But like,

you mentioned like, hey, did you see the trailer for the Last of Us movie or show or something? And we were like, uh, no,

I didn't know that they even started filming yet. Like, there's a trailer for it? He's like, yeah, man, I saw it. Uh,

and you were like, it looks pretty good or something. I was like, there's no way this is real. Like, I do a PlayStation podcast. Like, I know this thing is like not even finished,

like, film me. Like, there's no way there's a trailer for it. So like I looked it up and sure enough it's not fucking real, but you believed to your core that you saw it You would argue with us that you saw it look look that's really weird look this is my thing all right I can catch someone in a lot I am able to read someone in person If someone tell me something via the intertube It could be I'm like hey I guess who I would why would somebody lie to me? Well I didn't do anything wrong

I'm just here I'm just here I didn't do anything right got a lie to me about stuff Do you remember when you pretended like you never saw full metal sheen? That's not real. Oh my God. It's real. Full metal sheen? You guys have never seen full metal. You've seen full metal sheen, right Derek?

The Nickelodeon thing? No, I haven't. Full metal sheen. It's real. It's real. Why does somebody believe me? Look, there was this thing. After Jimmy Neutron got canceled, there was a show. It was called Planet Sheen.

And Planet Sheen got picked up for like however many fucking seasons and they picked it up and it didn't do well and they canceled it But they were like we still like the Jibu Neutron IP I think they'd still want to do something with Sheen So they did these like three minute episodes in between other shows of fucking sheen like in the army or something because he wanted to like emulate Ultra Lord or some shit and it was full metal Sheen and it was like three episodes and there's no like There's no record of it but I saw like this one like grainy clip of it online where it was like, I'll show it to you, I'll send it to you after. There's no, there is no record of it.

I swear to you, it's real. I have a clip of it, I'll show it to you. You're lying, bro. I'll put it at the end of this episode so you can see. It's full metal sheen. It was, I think it was Steve Lodakirk O Entertainment. How is there no record of it? Because it didn't, it wasn't good.

It doesn't matter. There's nothing terrible. That doesn't matter. There's no record of it. Yeah, but it's real. I've seen it. Oh, does it matter? Dude, there's no record of it.

Dude, I promise you it's real. I promise you, it's real. If somebody can dig this up. If somebody can dig this up, full metal sheen. It's just a waste of a lie, because we all know it's not true. Okay. All right. You're going to feel like a fucking idiot when you see the clip.

All right. No, I'm not. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt because there's a game that I played when I was 10 years old at the boys and girls club. I'd played all the time. And I tried describing it to everybody as an adult. And nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about.

It's just, I know what it is now, but I'm just going to describe it to you. So it's a side scrolling, beat them up. Okay. And it's, there was three really distinct characters. There was a red and blue, like ninja type person. And then the most important person, there was this chick with brown hair,

and she wore a pink thorn. Like that's the thing that's like the biggest thing that stood out like why is this bitch fighting in a thong? This is stupid But she was badass though in the game so I tried describing this to like everyone obscure gaming Nobody could figure this shit out when I finally gave up I finally fucking gave up on it One day I went on Twitter and I described it again in 2017 and then some asshole who knew about this game Put it on a let's play on YouTube and all of a sudden it kind of brought it up and And so when somebody searched for it, they're like, oh, are you talking about zero team? And I looked in and I was like, motherfucker, I've been looking since 2005 for this shit, like online on MySpace and everything.

And there was no trace of it until fucking just a couple of years after I was looking like I gave up at that point. And then all of a sudden there's like, oh, zero team. Yeah. I've seen this. You've seen this? Zero team? Yeah. And like, but when I would describe this to people, nobody knew what the fuck

I was talking about. There was no mention out of it other than one forum. There was one forum describing the same thing. We're looking for the same thing. And then finally, after I gave up, and then I just asked online, and then somebody, one of my Twitter followers was like, oh, zero team, huh? I just

Googled it. I googled the, and then it popped up, and I was so fucking mad. So, maybe one day. Maybe one day. Full Metal Sheen will pop up. I can't remember if it's called Full Metal Sheen or not. But I like to call it full metal she. It's real. That's probably why It's real. I probably why you can't fuck.

It was like she in the army. He had like PTSD or some shit. It was fucking weird. It's like some weird. I think they were trying to do some Hey Arnold like adult stuff with it. But not like adult adult stuff. But like kind of like a slice of life like oh it's real. It's very weird.

So you're saying full metal. What about apocalypse sheen? I'm just going through all of them like apocalypse now. No, no. I don't know what the name is. I really fucking care. remember. I hope somebody on the fucking in the comments can find it because

that would make my fucking day. Guys, he's lying. Don't waste your time. I'm not lying. Please please find this show with Adulchine with PTSD in the military from Jimmy Neutron. I know it sounds fucking insane. But like, go look it up.

You're probably remembering a clip from an episode of Jimmy Neutron. That's what you probably remember. No, no, no. I remember every single clip from every single episode of Jimmy Neutron. All right. and it was not in Jimmy Neutron. Oh, yeah? It wasn't. Tell me this scene of season three episode four.

Season three episode four? All right, let me just, I'm not Googling anything or anything. Don't worry about it. Y'all just wasting time. You're just wasting time. Jimmy Neutron. Two M's, two M's. Jimmy.

Jimmy Hat, Neutron. I love that one where he closed. himself and there's a bunch of like there's this cool version of him that almost says the N-word. Oh yeah, knit. Later Nica-Rama. Dude, that's just great. Later, knit. I love how people just find that shit.

Yeah, it's fucking, it's so good. God bless the internet and, you know, Drake Bell and all the stuff that's happening with him. We finally had a thing. I don't know. It's, it's, it's, uh, oh man, what's going on? What's going on? Yeah, so like, I don't know, it seems pretty,

it seems pretty not good, you know, it seems, uh, you know, he, he, lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Kamens in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story.

So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kamen was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamond. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories.

eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. five. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Furn, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. But he's getting like two years probation or something and that's it for like, uh, he's like, you know, he's a good boy. He's, he did so many, you know, he was so charming. He probably charmed the judge. Yeah, what do you think he goes to the judge? You guys say, whoa, take it easy, man. And then he's just like,

he comes back to Josh. He's like, hey Josh, I almost fuck the kid, but guess what happened? I only got two years. And the job is like, I parked my car in a red zone and I got shot at. It's just like, wow, that's crazy. You know, it's really crazy.

Both of the drakes. Now, here's the thing. Now that, so, you know, so Millie Bobby Brown and some influencer, they got caught, you know, the guy's like 20. She was like 16 when they were dating. You know, so some illegal shit going on.

you know, oopsie. Now here's the interesting thing. There were rumors of Millie Bobby Brown and Drake. You know, not Drake Bell, but Aubrey Graham, about them being a little bit too close because he was texting her ass when she was probably like 15, 14, whatever. And it's like, uh, that's weird, bro. With this coming out, man, with Drake being indicted or whatever and convicted.

It all comes a little circle. And now you have this Drake. I'm telling you, something's going on with the Drake's, man. You know what's fucked up too? You know what's fucked up? Drake Bell's name is also Jared. So it's like... That's...

That's... That's... Wait, what his real name is Jared? It's like a... It's like this anime, like, pedophile vegeto type deal. It's like the weirdest fucking fusion dance. I met him like three times.

I've met him so many times. I bet you did. That's hilarious. I bet you did. I bet you all had a lot in common. Let's y'all fucking... y'all y'all fucking hung around the same peoples what the fuck you're talking about it i worked at box a lot and i met him that's like he would come there with his girlfriend at the time who seemed like an adult i don't know i don't know she seemed like a grown woman i was like like a pink

bow on her fucking head and shit like she was definitely like a seam girl in her like 20s i think and i was like oh you fucking suck nigga i hate you. fucking hello katy and she's like 411 and shit like she's like an adult yeah my girlfriend's like 411 and she's like 25 so i mean women high doesn't matter. Women height doesn't matter. Somebody please isolate that. Women height doesn't matter.

I never thought that I'd be a pedophile. Have you guys seen a video of the black? I found a way. I found a way. I got to get this out there because it's some black kid playing, hey, I'm Call of Duty, right? And he's trying to see how fast you can get people to say the N-word to him. So he would kill them and say I'm black and people would call him to N-word afterwards. He got it so well that in sub.5 seconds he got someone to call him to Annward.

Like less than half a second. Less than a fucking second? Less than half a second, bro. It's unbelievable. It's pretty great. Call duty is like a magic place. Do you remember when we were living in the old apartment? And our roommate Joe is just, he likes those games.

Like he always, always jumps on the next call of duty. I'm pretty sure he's like the only one in our friend group that consistently does that. I think Paul did it too for a little while. But he came home and he was like, the new call duty's out. You guys want to test it out? It's kind of good. And we walk, I walked into his room and immediately through the, through like the in-game voice chat, N-word, and word.

Like, I've been playing online video games for a while consistently. And it's been a sincerely long time since I've heard that just in the middle of just like a game session. And the first point seven seconds of my reintroduction into Call of Duty was just there it is right off the bat. Welcome to Call of Duty population people who say this still consistently all the fucking back. It's crazy, bro. They can't help it. They can't help it. It's a part of culture.

Call of Duty is its own culture And in the culture The N-word is on the top of your list And see, this is where PewDie Pied fucked up You should have just been playing Call of Duty Because then everybody would be like, oh, it's cool Yeah, it's called duty, he's part of the culture He's just doing what he's doing, you know?

Yeah, but he played PubG and I'm like, dude, you can't bring that You can't bring that trash of PubG, man. PubG's classic, it's classy. You know what's wild about that too Is like if you If you spell Call of Duty backwards, It's literally just the N-word. Isn't that wild?

It's true. I've actually have known that for quite some time. Yeah. I was looking at, I was looking at Modern Warfare 2 in the mirror and I was like, what the fuck? I was like, goddamn.

Fans of the show, I'm tired. I'm just tired of this, man. I just, I'm just, any questions, man? Well, welcome to the Star Tank podcast, guys, I guess. I don't know if we did that. I'm pretty sure we didn't.

I think we did. I'm pretty sure that. That's the first thing I did. Yeah, that was an intro. I don't think. Did you just, like, have an auto body experience and you're just back? Like, you didn't realize what just happened? You started talking about Call of Duty.

That was just like, man, I just wanted you guys to laugh at the fact that guy got called inward and half a second. You guys went on, like, a Call of Duty light. Some weird goblin thing must have, like, snuck up behind Sweeney and, like, factory reset him. So he's, like, back to who he was before we recorded. I'm pretty sure we didn't say the whole. the whole snark tank intro thing, but at the same time, it's like, eh, we'll get to it, I guess.

There is no, well, there's no snark tank intro thing unless a person's here, really. We usually just go, hey, welcome to snark tank, which is what I did, and then we just, we just fucking went off on a tangent, because nothing's happening as of the day that we are recording this. It's been a very slow week, I'm sure again, I'm sure tomorrow fucking, I don't know, fucking Dustin Diamond will come back to life or some nonsense. I don't even know who that is exactly.

That'd be pretty cool. That's Screech from saved by the bell. The guy that did porn? The guy that did porn? Yeah, he's dead. I said that at a bar recently and nobody believed me and it was amazing

because I got to watch everybody like fucking fall apart when they found out. They fell apart that screech was dead. Well, not in like a, I'm sad way. More in like a, oh wow, I can't believe I didn't hear about this way. Yeah, I don't know.

I would break up with a girl immediately if she got sad that Screech died. I'd be like, yo, you're not worth it. You're not worth my time. You're mad that Screech died? What if she just has, like, positive associations with Screech from Saved by the Bell? Who really has, like, people don't have negative association with it. People don't have, like, oh, man, Screech is my favorite. No, everybody's favorite character was Mario Lopez.

I was everybody's favorite character on that show. I mean, people definitely have negative associations of Screech. Like, I feel like he's the most neutrally felt. toward human on the planet. Like, everyone's like, yeah, he existed. No, unfortunately, he's, uh, he's Jewish, so that's not true. Oh, he's Jewish? I didn't even know that much.

I didn't even care enough to find out. Well, you know, just, you know, you know. I might have been told that I didn't care enough to fucking hold the memory in my head because that's how much screech doesn't matter to me. Do you even know, do you actually know who screech is? Like, do you like, are you having the kid from Saved by the Bell? Of course I know who speeches. All right, just making sure.

Have you seen, have you actually watched Saved by the Bell though? Yeah. Like, actually, like, in its entirety? Not as tired, I've definitely watched like a bunch of episodes of it though I've actually never seen a single episode of that show You haven't seen a lot of stuff though You you very much so easily get like get gloss over a lot of things Yeah, I don't open myself up to a lot of television that I don't think like I saw a lot of full house and I remember being like

Why did I watch this fucking why am I watching this and I remember thinking that while I was watching? Lately car buying has become a pretty dull experience But on eBay behind every car in part is a a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there

on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver. Your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon. Hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay.

Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529. from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. But like, there was just nothing on. And I was just like, I guess this is how I felt. That's how I felt with home improvement. I would watch it. And I watched way too much home improvement. I lived in a Bronx, New York. And I was watching home improvement. And then you know what's crazy?

I watched some of the last man standing because I watched so much home improvement that I was like I should watch last man standing because I watched so much of the show I didn't really like. That was my mentality. Home improvement is so fucking garbage. It's such a garbage sitcom that I can't fucking believe it. I can't believe that a whole generation of people,

A whole generation of people like genuinely looked at Tim Allen, watched him speak and said, this is a man that is destined for stardom. This is a man, we got to give this guy a show. The way he barks, dude, this his lawnmower impersonations on stage when he's doing stand-up for fucking Kansas. Dude, we got to get this guy on primetime television. It's to get the redneck community, bro. You gotta have respite percentage But dude, it wasn't even like

A particularly redneck show It wasn't like a Jeff Foxworthy or like a Or like a fucking Larry the Cable guy It was just this this meandering kind of like Welcome to the suburbs I know what a hammer does And it's just like I don't know it's such a weird premise for a show I remember the part

where there was a neighbor who was like over the fence you never saw his face he knows like what's going on Tim because the other the other bottom of him was just a fucking skeleton he was actually a ghoul and he stole that part of the face just to appear human so I think that character I have a theory that that character was was actually just the fence and it just it created a mirage of a human's a human likeness a human envisaged just so like he wouldn't see him insane. It would just show up and he would be like, hey, what's going on, Tim? What's going on Tim?

Yeah, you're building a shed again? That's real cool. You know I know the devil, right? And it's like, pro, what the fuck is this show? But I watched a lot of it. I am the devil. So that's what Tim, Tim, Tim Taylor in the show is the devil. and he is casting spells on things,

which is that fence, and he named it Wilson or whatever. And then fucking, his assistant Sargon was fucking... That's right. Ow, whatever the fuck his name was. Yeah, literally... He did look exactly like fucking Sargonne.

He does. Same person. It was just... It was just not British Sargon. It was American Sargon That's so true I saw Sargon on a stream yesterday It was crazy

Because I haven't seen like any marker of him in fucking ages And he was having a conversation with Destiny I was like what the fuck is this about I clicked on And he had no sleeves And it just was the weird It was a sleeveless shirt And like I couldn't

I had no idea what they were talking about Did he have the arms for it? No that's the problem thing. You gotta have the arms to see the shirt. I should pretty much be shame because my fucking definition

is like gone. Like it's just like I don't have the guns no more and it's just like you gotta have the right can arms. It was fucking ramen dude. I was just like oh that's that's weird

is he trying to appeal to his fucking you know Arkansas fucking audience that he has over here whatever the fuck dude. I haven't even I haven't kept up with Sargonne at all

I don't even know what he's doing. I've like I didn't know who he's on a destiny stream recently. Can I be real? Yeah, it randomly just popped up. Huh? Destiny just has the most punchable face I've ever seen in a long time.

It's the goatee, man. He's just so, he's just, like, I don't even exactly always disagree with him. Like, in fact, I think I agree with him a good amount. But it's just like, yo, you're just so annoying seeming. Yeah, I mean, look, that's always been my beef with him. My beef with him is how he comes off. There's so many people. Like, remember back and remember before, remember, like, remember, like, say, pre, it's

like say, there's like before and after Lacey Green. There's like a, there's like a before, like, say she was kind of just, you know, reaching out to people who were being shitty to her before, and there's like an after. Like, before all that stuff, there was so much, like, toxicity. See, there was so, and then when you went, then we realized at a certain point that it's like, there's no point we can talk to each other and we can be kind of, we can disagree heavily, but we can be like cordial. And it was like almost revolutionary.

You know, like that was cool. And I've always appreciated the people that like, hey, even that we got some ideas maybe that are a little bit different or whatever, it's all good, you know? Like at the end of the day, we're just human trying to coexist, you know, we're trying to come together, whatever. But like, there were certain people. that hated that shit. They loved the conflict.

And that's how like, you know, that's how like, your boy Destiny would always come off to, or I'm like, I hate the, but you know, that's what his audience loved and craved. I get it. It's like lean into that shit. But I've never been a fan. Like, to me, it's like, it's funny as a heel.

Like when you're playing like a fucking WWE type of heel where you're just being a fucking goofball. But there's a difference. You know what I mean? Yeah. It did get kind of I don't know I think it's just like

you know drama cells You know people like Absolutely There's always There's always some new fucking thing That I can't keep up with You know that I just don't even know What the fuck's going on

Like every day it feels like There's some new like Person who's like I shouldn't watch the Oh Gabby Hannah's at it again Not Trisha Paitis What's going out with frenemies And it's like I don't know

I don't have the fucking bandwidth Like dude I can't even like sometimes I'll look at my phone and I'll be like man I got a lot of emails I should probably like get to these and it'll take me like four hours to get to the emails of just of that day and then so to go online and just have to keep up with this other bullshit like it's so tiring

I almost like am baffled by the people who like somehow keep like keep tabs on like it's important the people that like care about the personalities my mind too. I don't give a fun. Like I don't I care about personalities after the content like oh this person makes good content then I'm like oh okay cool but I'm more just watching your videos for what your videos are not so much your personality and it's weird how much YouTube's become personality driven. Well it depends on how people set themselves up right like if you're like some story time YouTuber then it's going to be all about your personality

because you don't really have much to offer you know versus somebody who's actually putting out some content that they can really absorb, you know? Yeah. So it's one of those things where, let's say, for example, there's this, you know, retired mixed martial artist, Chal Sunn, I watch his videos. I watch him all the time, and he's just ranting about the MMA community or whatever. Very basic stuff that anybody can talk about, but I actually like that guy.

Like, he's just, he's like, he's a heel. He's really entertaining. He's like one of the very... Lately, Car buying has become a pretty dull experience, but on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car,

he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteeing. to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next restamon. Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Very small few people I can think of just off the top of my head where I'm like,

I like this guy as a personality. And he's also not like fucking, you know, he's not fucking texting 16 year old TikTokers or whatever you know he's just Yet Yeah Yeah Yeah I don't even know if he knows out of work TikTok

Which is good You know which is good But you never know Like fucking after we finish recording this all of a sudden He's like oh shit You know he's fucking Getting charged with these in the cell He's in the jail cell with Drake Bell or whatever

Yeah That'd be fucking wild Dude this sounds So many, man. Like, it's so easy not to do that. It's so fucking crazy. Because, like, I don't know. It's...

God fucking damn it. It really feels like it's just like you're playing left for dead sometimes. And just like at any point, you could just turn around and there's just like a horde of pedophiles. Like, just like fucking, oh, whoa, that guy and that guy and that guy and this guy and what? You said a horde of pedophiles? Yeah. Am I wrong?

I wouldn't say a horde, but I would say, like, it's very likely. There's a whole black book of like fucking people probably like that probably, and let's be real, people that most people probably love. I think there's a lot of them. There's a lot. Well, it's Hollywood. I'm kidding. Dude, fucking Corey, Corey Feldman.

Cory Feldman and fucking Elijah Wood, like, talked about this fucking ages ago. And everybody was like, aha. Oh, you silly Frodo. Oh, boy. You're dumb hobbit. Go back to the Pry Shire and he's like, yo, they're fucking kids. Fucking kids in the Shire, man. I don't want to go back there.

They're fucking children. He's like, shut up, Frodo. You'll never get a major role again. We'll ruin your career. And he's like, I don't care. People should hear this. Dude, it's got to play them off. It's a wild, wild world out there.

So stay away from vans. Stay away from, that's probably the best advice, actually. Just stay away from vans. Stay away from vans. I don't know how popular vans are in the pedophile community. I think it's pretty played out, I'm imagining. Do you think they care about the style?

They're like, ah, that's a bit tacky, dude. I think it's what it is now is, I remember Kevin Smith's daughter almost got abducted. I mean, she didn't get in the car, but it was a fake Uber. So I think that's the play now. Fake Uber. Uber's are the move.

How do you fake an Uber though? How do you do that? I don't know. You get a fake Uber sticker. You put it on there and they're like, hey, I'm here for X, Y, and Z. I guess it's people, it's probably what they do. This is what I'm imagining. Because, you know, the people that are actually doing the Uber, they say the name to confirm.

But I imagine somebody can just take a chance and be like, hey, I'm here and not announce it. and the person could just not really be paying attention and get in. I just can't imagine a scenario where, like, because every time I get an Uber, which isn't super often anymore, but like when I used to get them regularly, I would look at the license plate, look at the car,

make sure those matched and then walked up to the car, and then by then, like, who the fuck just blindly goes into a fucking Uber? I've definitely got in the wrong car before. Yeah, but you're, you know, you're, you know. Yeah, you're an R word. But, uh, I mean, no, I'll look at, I'll look at the, I'll look at the, I'll look at the making model. And, uh, usually, I'm sorry, this, if it's in a crowded area, I'll look a little bit more. I'll be a little bit more, uh, you know, vigilant. Let me ask you some, Sweeney, have you ever gone, have you ever walked into the bathroom and, you know, you're taking care of business and you realize, oh, there's no toilet paper.

Is that ever happening? Very rarely, very rarely that's happened to me. But it's, but it's happening to you. It's happened. I thought it's happened to everybody before, though. This is sincerely something that has actually never happened to me in my fucking life. Like, actually for real, not a single time. I think that's happened to everyone, but I guess, because I feel like that's something that also could be avoided. So, yeah, I believe it. Yeah, I just, I just noticed like, hey, I'm gonna, I'm here for a purpose. And I, I want to be fucking prepared.

There have been, like, situations where, like, I'll go and take a shower and I'm like, ah, fucking out of my towel. That's, that I think is more like common, probably. But like, because what do you do in that situation? You don't have your toilet paper. Well, you just take a, I guess I'm showering right now. I've definitely, I've, that's definitely happened to me. Usually I'm just like, because I usually don't start before I look over because I usually grab my phone and I end up glancing that way.

But I've definitely sat and down and used the bathroom. Like, definitely when I was much young, like, see my teens. And I'm like, oh, there's no toilet paper here. I guess I'm taking a shower. Or there goes a good pair of socks. Oh my God. That's disgusting. That's fucking.

I don't, I'm trying to think of something like that, scenarios. I mean, my whole thing is the house, any house I ever lived in has never not had toilet paper in it. It just may sometimes, like, say it was stored in like a closet or something, so it's not immediately in the bathroom. So, and I know I've seen stuff like this. I'm just thinking of like movies or TV or something where people have waddled with their pants down to go get toilet paper and come back in the bathroom.

But I don't have a scenario. I'm trying to, I was scanning my brain, but has this happened to me before? I think it's happened, but I lived with so many people when I was young, you would just holler for somebody. Like, yo, it's a toilet paper. I think that's all I can think of them.

So it's happened to me, but I never had to do anything about it. It genuinely baffles me that people store their toilet paper, not in the bathroom. Well, I guess it depends on how big your bathroom is, man. Why would you, like, what do you keep in there? What do you got like a fucking mech suit? Like, just,

well, no, some people have fucking tiny bathrooms. No bathroom is tiny enough not to have extra toilet paper in it. Well, maybe to have a few rolls and then you run out and then, oops. But like, say, there's people that buy, like, our family, we used to buy those giant, like, 30 packs or whatever. I usually buy the bigger packs. We would have to put it next to our laundry or where our dryer was. It was like this, like, thing that you opened and then right next to it, that's where it was. Because it was too big.

You couldn't put in the fucking bathroom. So you would just get like a four stack and then you put it on that little stick. you know you put like four stacked up and then and then when the four is out what you do what you're gonna do man you never let the four run out you see oh it's two it's two now I'm gonna go put two more that like I've always had that mind

where I'm just like I'm not I can't I just refuse to be in this situation ever it's a fucking irritating circumstance I would imagine but now man bidetes have changed the game like really it's not it's not a big deal anymore if you got a fucking bidet I mean the whole thing

look man if I were if I were emperor of the fuck If I were emperor of a, like, or dictator or whatever, I would require everyone to have a fucking midday. Like, you couldn't, you couldn't not have one. They changed the game, man. You couldn't not have one. Everybody needs to have a clean ass in my fucking country. I can't, I can't fucking, I can't stand people who, I've ran into people.

I even saw, I was watching some trash TV. I was watching some trash TV fucking 90 day fiancee and this fucking chick was like, she was like, you know, because in Korea, it's normal, right? And then she was like dating some Korean. And she was like, that's so weird. I don't want to squirt water up my ass. Like, I'll just use toilet paper. Let's fine.

I'm like, but if you can clean her ass thoroughly, why wouldn't you want to? I don't understand. That's a weird fucking argument. Because people, people are weird about shit, dude. But once you use a beday, bro, mind blowing, dog. That shit is literally game changing. The first time I used when I was like 16. And I was like, whoa, this is wild.

People are setting their ways. Wild. They are setting their ways, but it's weird when it comes to like being clean. That's the thing that's kind of weird to me. I'm like, come on, man. I mean, wouldn't the ideal? Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience, but on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared.

There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body pins,

The Channels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon, and the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing

pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law firm. Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. I mean, wouldn't both be the ideal? Well, to it, you want, you, I'd say, I use both. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like what I'm saying? Like what I'm is like a bidet and toilet paper, wouldn't that be the ideal situation? Because like, to me, to me, like a bedet, I've never used a bidet, like, ever in my life. So, like, I've never, I don't know what that is exactly.

I know what it is, but like, I don't know what the feet, the pressure or whatever. But like, I don't, to me, it's like, I don't put dishes in the dishwasher because I don't believe they work. Like, I don't believe they work enough. Like, I got, I got to, I got a, stupid. You have to wash them before you put them in there. I got to have a rag. I got to have a rag and I got to scrub everything. everything off because

like I just don't I don't trust like a little fucking spritz of like a jet to do fucking anything well you gotta wash it first obviously you can't you can't but that's why I think they're useless put it inside of the thing usually well it's just it's the extra layer of cleaning it it's it's like oh I wash this off

I got everything bigger like it's like for instance when um you know when you when you make pasta and obviously pasta stains a little bit usually most things then my grandmother would be like all right this is what the times with like it's really useful to have it. You wash it off. Everything is clean for the most part. Then you put it in there and then the scrubbing jets are able to just, you know, like I got like that little fucking

like ball bead that you put over and you close over and that shit would clean off everything. And I'd be like, oh, that's useful. But I would always have to wash it first and put in it because you can't just put things straight in a freaking thing. I always hated that. That was like, I didn't have one growing up, but if I'd go to somebody's house or something and then they're like, oh, let's the help in the dishes because I'm spinning the night or whatever the fuck. like as a kid and then say oh let's do this and now let's put it in here and I'm like what the let me just like my hands

I have a lot of pressure on my hands like let me scrub the fuck out of this thing and I was really I'm not like a germaphobe or nothing but I would use a lot of soap I would make sure my shit was cleaning it and like when you rub it and like it's making that squeaky fucking sound like that's all my shit's clean there's no grease on it or nothing

and I think that's fine but hey if you're rich man why the fuck not you go go ahead and do the extra mile get yourself a dishwasher and filled up with fucking pot pod pods or whatever the fuck it's weird not having one for me now because i didn't have one when i was younger and i hit my teens and that's when i still did it do yours proper like sometimes i don't use it because i just don't feel like going through the habit of loading

everything into it i still wash it my hands but i'm just having one it's been to like a constant thing in my life i was having one around so it's strange yeah we always just use it as like a drying rack because i never yeah that's that's that's pretty good I never trusted it. It does have one good setting though. Just real quick. It just gets hot as fuck. Like it gets really, really hot, so it probably just kills everything on it maybe.

Yeah, that's probably... That's not inaccurate. Yeah. Any fucking way. Look at all this. Look at all this that we got. You scared? I'm scared.

We got some questions. We got some questions from our loving audience over at patreon.com slash the Nark Tank. These are some of the greatest people on the planet. I'm not going to read them. I'm not going to read them this time. I did it last time and I'm like eh. His reading improved, it was insane. Oh, really? Actually, yeah, because I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

My brain's working. That's what? Yeah, when you first started reading it, I was like actually kind of upset because I'm like, really? Is he going to do this? But then like it went smoothly. I was like, okay. Some of these are fucked, man. Like some of these are just like... Some of the English and them are always just really fucked.

up and I'm like, am I dyslexic or this is not written right? Guys, it's usually, it's usually not written. What game you play good? What good game play good? Game, good play game? I'm like, uh, is it which one? Is it me or is it them? That's after, by the way.

That's after I like correct what I notice is wrong. You know? I'm just like double confused. I didn't correct anything today though. So like everything in this document is exactly as the audience wrote it. And I will deliver it. And I will deliver it as such. But first, not so much of a question so much is something that, like, I wasn't aware of.

Badly Brave Road. And he says, hello, Buff Correll, Correll, and Starving Correl. Can we get a review of Buff Correll's move to original songs? I knew this was happening. I haven't watched any of them. But he says, did you see his recent appearance on Tosh.0? When are you getting him on the podcast? I had no fucking idea, dude, that he was on Tosh.

I was still around. I read the show was still around. Yeah, that's the thing that upset me, actually. I can't believe the show's still on. Yeah, what that's like... That's like the soup, right? It's the soup, and then they ripped off the soup, and then Rob Deirdek ripped off Tosh By now.

And like, the cycle continues. What is that? What is that? It's called Ridiculousness. It's called Ridicelessness on MTV. And there's like some blonde chick that cackles like a fucking, like, just... It's one of the most annoying things ever. That's it.

That's it. See, you know what I'm talking about. about. And then there's that fucking, just that black dude just because, you know, for, just for, you know, they just need the token. Like, he doesn't do anything. He's just there. And he's like, oh, cool. Now it's a little urban in here now. And then they have funny, that black guy is best friends with Michael B. Jordan. That's so fucking hilarious to me. Oh, really? It's a simple man. He can be, such a simple character could be best friends at like a kind of

impressive actor. Is it like, what the fuck? How do you know him? Michael Basketball Jordan. I hate you. Pretty crazy. I was speaking of that. Did you guys see. Space Jam? Not yet. God, I'm actually excited to watch it tonight, I think. I think I'm going to have time to watch this tonight. I'm not going to watch it. I'm excited because of how people are fucking going so hard to paint on it. They hate it. And I'm like, I'm excited now. That makes me excited. Like, when people are like actually, because when people just went like, man, it's okay, then I'm like, I don't want to watch it. Yeah, I know what you mean. There's like

a level of like morbid curiosity. Although I will say, dude, listen, this might be a hot take. I really care. There's a lot of people probably in the audience who probably like who probably tweeting stuff like yeah space jam too sucks. Let me tell you something. The first movie was also not good. The first movie was not a good fucking movie. It's a bad movie but it's a fun it's a fond memory for people like around our age. That's it's not really great like I like Space Jam because of I like basketball and I like cartoon. Remembering Space Jam is way better than watching it. Probably. Yeah. No it is because what as a as

an adult when I got it out on a Blu-ray I was excited to watch it and I was like oh this sucks yeah it fucking sucks to me it was just like dude this is kingdom hearts all over again because it's just this combination of things that I don't care about at all it was just like okay here's the Looney Tunes I look I like my fair share of like I like what's opera doc you know like that some of the classic animations but I don't give a shit about like Looney Tunes really and I certainly certainly don't care about basketball. So, like, it was just this movie that was tailor-made.

Taylor-made for me just, like, not to care about it. Did you watch it when you were little? Did you watch when you were older? I watched it when I was older. I watched it in 2010. Why did you watch it? I watched it so weird. I watched it in 2010 for the first time

because I watched the... Wow. I watched Luty tunes back in action when I was younger, and then I watched, like... And I saw Space Channel, and I was like, I think it might have been on, like, as, like, you know how, like, teachers will bring us? like we're going to watch a movie, you know?

And it was just like, because the teacher was hung over or whatever. And like they just like, here's a movie. I think Space Jam was one of those movies. But I'm pretty sure that like I just slept through it because I just didn't. It was like, oh my God, basketball? The fuck? I don't care. It makes sense.

So listen, I assure you your memories of Space Jam 1 are probably a lot fonder and a lot nicer than that movie actually is. It's just. I feel like I remember that movie to a T, but. Even my memory of it is not giving it any fucking like golden star. So I'm like, oh, man, it must have been pretty fine. Like, I liked Bill Murray. Yeah, I mean, everybody likes Bill Murray. And look, I'm not saying that the new movie isn't worse, because that's probably pretty likely.

Like, a lot of that CG looks disgusting. And I saw some, I saw this one sequence of them assembling the team together. And it was, like, edited like a fucking YouTube poop. It was the most insane, like, nauseating. It was such a nauseating edit that I couldn't believe it. But, so I'm sure it's worse, but keep in mind what franchise you're fucking talking about here, you know? People are acting like, oh, I can't believe Rick and Morty showed up. It's like fucking shut out.

They did. They did? Yeah, of course they are. Spoilers, damn, bro. Like, I was going to, that was going to be the fucking, now I have nothing to look forward to. No, no, no. There's far worse in there. Like, there's, the Rick and Morty thing was.

fine. Like, because they're in everything anyway. Like, they killed the Simpsons in like their first season or whatever the fuck, you know? So like, whatever. Dub nigger. Yeah. That's their whole thing. But I don't know. Yeah. I do, I am curious to see the second one though because like, yeah. People are really fucking. I'm going to watch it, but like I'm not like super, super excited. I'm just going to watch it be like, oh, this is bad or this is good. And that's it. When was the last movie you saw, though, that, um, you were super excited about? You know. Oh, man, I was really excited about Fast 9. I was excited about Fast 9, man. Fast 9.

Oh, soul. I love that fucking horrible franchise, Fast 5th. They went to space, bro. That's what I'm saying, man. Dude, in 2013, our friend Joe was like they're going to go to space. And I was like, Joe, that's so stupid. They're not going to go to space. And he was like, dude, trust me, they're going to go to space.

space and lo and mother fucking behold lo and fucking behold they went to space I could not believe it how did he predicted that early bro? I swear I swear I swear I think maybe around when he said it Chris probably too

he's like they're gonna go to space and I was like no they're not gonna go to that's so stupid Joe he was like they're gonna go to space trust me and they went to fucking space yeah fast five time well fast five came out 20 I'm trying to see when Fast 6 came out.

Well, here's the thing. It's like that was when, because Joe's into that stuff. And Joe, Joe wasn't so much predicting how the series was going to go, so much as he was just saying, like, I want them to go to space. No, no, no, no, no, no. I understand what he said, but you have to translate it. There's no way he knew that they were going to go to space. But Joe is the audience for those movies. It's high-offiant action.

I don't think he's the audience for that exactly. Hold on. High Octane action movie with buff guys. Like, that's exactly Joe's thing. Exactly. I don't, look, look, look, look, I know that Joe is not the most, like, critical of movies, and he can just watch something and have fun. But I remember him specifically saying, like, it's so ridiculous.

You were talking about how, like, I think might have been fast seven, how they were driving their car through the buildings. I've never seen a fast movie, so I don't know. And he was just like, yo, they're going to end up in space, man. I could see it now. See, that makes sense. Joe, no way. But Fast 7 was way, that was like, that was like 2017 or some shit.

No, it wasn't. Fast 7 was like 2016 or 17. 2015, 16. It was probably like 2016. Because I remember that movie came out not super before I moved in California. Fast 7. 15 to 16. Fast 7 was 15.

2015 and then 8 was 17. And he was like, yo, because it's getting out of hand. He was like, because I remember Fast 5. was a jump in like how things happened. Like it got crazy and fast five. Well, that's when the rock joined. And that's when it turned into an action franchise

because it wasn't before it. It was just some stupid car thing. I was like, I didn't watch the movies before because I don't give a fuck about cars. I'm like, oh, that's so cool. You know,

like fucking flashy drifting and rate. Just step on your pedal really hard and who wins. Like, I don't fucking care about that shit, dude. And then the rock joined and he's like, and then all logic, reason, and everything went out.

And I was like, this is what I've been waiting for. I'm tired of people trying to appease Martin Scorsese every time they make a fucking movie. Like if you want to just make garbage, just make garbage and entertain me. I'm not trying. I don't need a plot.

I don't need any of this shit. If it's something I care about, like say the Nolanverse, right? Where it's like, okay, shit's making sense. And then fucking the rises comes out. And then it makes no sense. It turns into Fast and Furious. Then it's like, what the fuck are you doing? But the Fast and Furious franchise was boring as shit and they're like this is fucking gay

Cars are gay We need fucking action and all of a sudden the rock shows up cars are gay That's literally Ben Diesel was like cars are gay We did action we need action and family you just brought up the fucking dark night dude I couldn't believe how bad the Dark Night Rises was like that is such a fucking monumental Dark Night Rises is is Without a fucking shadow of a doubt, dude, that is a worse movie than Spider-Man 3, actually.

Oh, sure. It is just, it is just worse. It's, because it's not, because here's the thing, it's not funny. It's not entertaining. It's fucking stupid. Bain is a little funny. Bain is the close, fucking hilarious, bro. Bain, Bain is the closest it gets.

But even then, it's like, it doesn't really, I don't know, it doesn't cross. You're right. You're right. It doesn't cross this line. Yeah, you're right. No, you're right. It never goes into that territory. And it's just, wow.

He flies, he blows up a nuke. I don't even do it. How did he get back to Gotham? Like, I need to know how he got back to Gotham. He didn't go back to Gotham. He just went somewhere else. At the end of the movie, he doesn't end up back in Gotham. No, I'm talking about when he broke out of the fucking prison.

Bro, when that old man punched him in the back to fix his back, I was crying in the theater. But how did he get back to Gotham? Like, he must have morphed, bro. How did he get back in time to do anything? It might have been showing it. Look, I don't, I'm not. It's literally fast and furious logic, which means there's none. I'm not saying this makes sense.

But a lot of fucking times in movies or whenever you watch shows, you're supposed to interpret it that you may be watching a character. at the moment, but what they're doing might be going on in the past of what's happening on the other end of the screen or the other plot in the story. I think that's very annoying and dumb sometimes, but that has become like the way you kind of supposed to interpret how things are going on. Like, wow. They just left it out. No, like while in Avengers 1, everyone's doing all their bullshit.

How is this all happening during the invasion of New York? is because some of the things that Spider-Man's doing is happening the exact same time they're showing scenes with Captain America and other shit. No, see, I understand. I understand what you're saying. I get that. That makes sense where you're showing multiple timelines. I understand that. And it's all supposed to be happening, like, you know, in one sequence.

I'm talking about fucking just him being there and getting back. Like, at any point, it just doesn't match up with what was happening in Gotham. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience, but on eBay, behind every car in part, is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay,

but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay, Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.

eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.

Too little time passed in Gotham and too, like, and it just didn't make sense. And it was one of those things where I think Nolan knew and he's just like, who fucking cares? Like there was so much stuff in that movie where he was like, who fucking cares? Like, I'm done. It was almost like what happened to Game of Thrones, right? At the end, it just kind of became who fucking cares. Well, you know what it was?

It was like, hey, we have this second movie with the Joker in mind. Oh, he's dead. Fuck, I can't make the movie I want to make. I'm going to make fucking Bain sound like Mary, Poppins. Like, what the fuck, dude? They fuck Bain up so bad. Bane is like such a cool villain. They fuck them up. And I was like, you know what? I'm on board now.

Fuck it. They fucked them up. I'm just going to watch this. I actually enjoy that movie too. Like, I don't hate it. I just don't. I just like... What was the last time you watched it, though? Like, maybe like a year ago. I watched it on a... Whoa, really? Maybe a year ago.

Why'd you do that? Because me and Lily watched the whole trilogy. Oh That's weird That's weird as fuck Yeah That's not weird Just watching movies

It's weird I don't know It feels like you should Stop at the Dark Night Maybe start by the Dark Night Maybe I like the Dark Night They go watch some animated flicks

Batman Because they're fucking superior But I also don't care I like that movie Because of the performance But also at the same time So much movie I just don't give a shit bro

What performance What performance are you talking about I Truth be told I love Christian Bail's Performance in that movie dog I really love it in all of them. He's awful on all of them. Yes.

I think he's great. I think he's, I think he's particularly good into. No, you're, you're definitely, you're definitely lying to yourself. I like, I love, of course. Christian Bail is a terrible Batman and Bruce Wayne. I mean, everyone is compared to the fact that Batman's just so, like, Batman, like, I like how they gave Bruce Wayne barely any character, because that's the, that's the point. Bruce Wayne's barely a person. He's a, he's a persona. He's pretty much a first sona of, of the bat being a human.

I mean, that's fine, yeah. I like him. You liked this fucking growling fucking shit. And then even when, like, say, it's time to fight, the camera was like, fucking on his fucking eyeball

because, like, he sucked so dick in choreography. I loved how often his tongue was out. I love how often his tongues. I was like, he couldn't breathe, so it just sounded like he was congested always. I'm like, come on, bro.

Like, the, the fact that, you have to think about how good the Dark Knight is to still have, that fucking garbage version of Batman in it. We're not gonna... Pattinson might be a good Batman.

We never know. We'll see. I think Robert Pattinson... Is it Patinson or Patterson? Is Pattinson? Okay. I think he's going to be the best live action version so far, in my opinion. Because number one, he is...

From looking into him and actually, I'm like, oh, this guy's really good actor, and they've all been shit. So that's the thing. There hasn't been a good live action Batman. Batman, all they've done well is just have Kevin Conroy voice Batman and just he just has so much swagger in the animated fucking flicks. And it's hard to match that. Yeah, the best thing about any live action Batman is literally just the fact that the world around Batman is now live action. That's literally, it's always just like, oh, interesting.

The city of Gotham, how it would look for real. Oh, hey, look, the villains that actually translate pretty well because they're just crazy. but then Batman himself just like sticks out like a fucking I love it I love it because it shows how ridiculous of a character he is It's fucking ridiculous

It's like It no it totally is But just imagine if someone tried their best to emulate A Arkham Asylum The Arkham series Batman Just

Just fucking doing what you have to do Barely any lines as Bruce Wayne Whatever But you just have this swagger about where you're fucking, the action's good and the voice is good. It's just not some dumb bullshit. You know, there's no fuckery of flight. Like, everything has been George Clooney, boring as fuck.

Val Kimmer, who cares? Everybody just likes Michael Keaton for nostalgia because they like Michael Keaton. But when you look back at what really, nothing really popped out, a bad man. A bad man. I was like, anybody can fucking do that, bro. More, more, I don't know. There's just something about like swagger that's missing from Batman. I feel like Batman doesn't really have swag.

What is? He has like a, his demeanor. Like, he has like a really draw presence. Like when Batman walks in the room, all the music stops, you know. He's like, he's like that kind of guy, you know? That's what happens in the, well, I guess, well, maybe with swag, it's the opposite, right? The music starts. So, like, I feel like he's the kind of guy that, like, I don't, like, I've never expected. Like, I liked the Joker in Dark Night.

I forget, I keep forgetting his name because it's it. Heath Ledger. Keith, there you go. I keep, I like, I like, oh, this is cool because I like the dichotomy between the two of I'm like, oh, he's crazy and Batman's crazy and they're crazy together. Yay, this is fun, I guess. This is live action. This makes some sense.

He's not strapping dynamite the babies. You know, like, I can watch this, I guess. You know, I don't like Joker that much as a character. I think he's overdone. But, you know, I was like, oh, wait, cool. I'm going to sit here and I'm going to watch this. But, like, I'm never going to get, like, even like in the MCU movies, you're never going to get the Spider-Man you exactly want.

You're never going to, you're definitely not going to get the. Batman you want because Batman don't make no fucking sense. Yeah. Well, I just, I just, I feel like there's such a good example with the animated series, you know, fucking the, the Arkham series, everything. I think it's such a good example. It's like, you don't have to be exactly this, but don't be fucking so stupid to where you're like not even anywhere near cool as this character.

And, and I feel like, say, kind of the way you say, what's it called, Tony Stark and and Toby McGuire, like, they filled the role so satisfactory towards, like, I'm cool with this. Regardless of how Spider-Man was before. I would say Tony did. Or regardless of how Iron Man was before. I love, I love Toby McGuire Spider-Man, but I would say he. But everybody, nobody did not love him. That's the thing.

That's the thing. He's really not Spider-Man. He's himself. He's his own Spider-Man. I love that what he is, but he was pretty different for Spider-Man. Well, but that's the whole thing. Like Tony Stark was just. Tony, like Robert Downey Jr.

Like, like Tony Stark wasn't fucking some cunt, not really. He was just like, he wasn't really, he was like Robert Downey Jr. made him that guy. You know what I mean? Iron Man's character was shaped drastically by Robert Downey Jr.'s personality, like drastically. Because, because that first movie was made with such a loose script. And it was just entirely like, I feel like a lot of it was, I think, I think, I think this is a fact, I'm pretty sure, unless I'm making it up. I remember hearing it somewhere.

But, like, the script of that movie was, like, largely, like, improvised. They had, like, a lot of the key elements and, like, some of the key monologues that were, like, written out. But a lot of, like, the minute-to-minute, like, character stuff and, like, the inflections and shit, that's all right, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, who am I if I'm this person? You know? Yeah, I think, I think, I think that's what, I feel like that's what Toby McGuire did, too. I feel like it's like this is, this is, who is Toby McGuire as a nerd, dweeb, uh, character who like suddenly has this fucking huge amount of responsibility.

I think that's why people like that character a lot because now, and I don't know if you feel this way too, uh, but now it feels like there's almost such a deliberate attempt to rip the character out of the comic directly to the point. to the point where it's just like... Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part, is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved.

There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay, performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamod.

Hello, Lotus Alon, and the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north,

probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.

We already have this. You know, like, oh, here's quips, quips, quips, because that's what Spider-Man does. And I agree, yeah, it's kind of neat to see. At the same time, it's like, you don't get, like, I don't know what Tom Holland's Spider-Man really is because we just kind of have this, like, thing that exists purely to be like, hey, remember Spider-Man? You like Spider-Man, right?

Quip, quip, quip time. I feel like it's the opposite for me. I feel like they've lost, they don't know. Like, I feel like for R.D., I feel like R.D., red Iron Man comics, and he was like, oh, if I was this guy, I would do this. and that's what he was from the moment on. But I think for Spider-Man,

I think they just made him a cheerleader. They're like, let's just make you a Gen Z, Spider-Man, who's super excited to be a part of the Avengers and is kind of quirky and not really that big of a nerd, but, like, you're a part of the science team. And I'm just like, this is, this is just not Spider-Man. This is some fucking, just some, this is a fucking cosplayer. This is some kid cosplaying him.

I will say I don't, um, um, um, I didn't even... It's not that the movies weren't good. I just don't really have an interest in this iteration of Spider-Man. Like, say, I didn't finish... What was it? Far from Home? Because, like, it was like, oh, this is cool, but I just...

I feel no connection. I think there's too much Sam Ramey and just animated series shit that I'm just like... I'm not getting anything out of this. Like, you know what I loved? I loved Spider-Man just fighting in Civil War. I thought that was fucking cool. I was like, oh, that shit, Spider-Man, he's kicking ass, he's doing his spiny shit. But then, like, say, when he got his own movie and he's really getting a personality, I'm just like, ah, I don't really care about Tom Holland's Peter Parker or the fucking Mary Jane or his fat fucking friend or anything.

Like, I just don't like, I don't feel anything for them. Like, I want to, but I don't. They're trying to do this weird thing where they're trying to do a middle ground between, like, he's a nerd, but he's also cool. Like, he's real cool, guys. Because he does this thing in I don't know if it's every movie, but like most of the most of the movies that he's in I think at this point or at least half of them Where he does this thing where he goes like You guys ever see that really old movie? Oh, I fucking hate that shit, dude

And it's like You would know like you're a nerd You would know that they've all seen that movie like you wouldn't have to like reference it in such weird terms. Like nobody fucking talks like that. He's talking like a kid from now referencing things from someone else. No, they don't even do that.

They just, they either know shit or they don't know shit. Yeah, they wouldn't say that. Have you seen aliens? You know, like, have you seen aliens? Like, you wouldn't be like, this really old movie. Who the fuck says that? It's just, you just say the movie. I feel like, I feel like he's just pandering towards younger people

almost exclusively now. And that's the thing, because I feel like he's always been a character that younger people have, like, flock towards. obviously that's why I love him so much I love him since I was a kid but I feel like it's just a lot of like oh Spider-Man right now is the kid you know

and they're pushing the kid aspect of him too much but the problem is that the kid novelty wears off eventually and you got to turn him into like the character that everybody really loves like all the shit he goes to it is what makes people like that's what immortalized him people hooked on him because he was a kid but what made him like

cemented in the world is his place and like how he sees himself and what goes through. I'm a fucking senior or fucking college freshman fucking. That is him at his best. That's it. That's all I want. That's when Venom shows up.

That's when Gwen Stacy dies. That's when he fucking almost kills the green guy. I'm like, it's a bunch of like really cool shit then. And it's like, that's cool. But you're in high school. I don't go fuck. You've been in high school fucking six movies, bro. I don't give a shit no more.

Yeah. I want an Uncle Ben movie. Like we're in. I want him. A really mundane movie about Uncle Ben? Like nothing really happens? Yeah, and he just gets fucking shot at the end of that's it. Oh, no.

That'd be so fucked up. It's a really mundane. It's like Napoleon Dynamite, but there's no comedy in it. And it's just like, here's Uncle Ben going to fucking, you know, going to the DMV to get his license renewed or fucking, oh, he's getting a new prescription for his glasses. Maybe he'll get the strap that goes in between because, you know, he's getting up there. And then he dies.

And then he gets shot. At the end of the day What was it in amazing Spider-Man? He got shot over milk or something? I don't even remember what happened. I don't remember how I got killed in that movie because I don't remember seeing the first one. I saw the first one and I was like,

I don't really care. That movie, by the way, is what I'm talking about when I'm talking about like how they're just like, we got to do the comic thing. Quick, Spider-Man, make jokes constantly. Like every single fucking moment, every gut is just like, oh, ah. When he's like bullying that dude,

and he pretends to see. sneeze and it's like yeah exactly exactly I get it it's all right yeah it's very neat I feel bad because like Andrew Garfield I think he's actually pretty good actor I think he is a good actor that's what's so fucking annoying is that like I think before the studios got too fucking involved I think you had a pretty interesting thing going on where you had like we where you had actors who were like yeah I'm going to play this role and it's going to be our role and like I'm the director and I'm going to direct it my style, you know?

Like Spider-Man, so every movie in that trilogy has like horror scenes in it because Sam Ramey is a fucking horror director. So like there's just all this crazy, like the scene in like Spider-Man One where like the green goblins in the fucking robe and he turns around and screams and it's like this ridiculous like evil dead. And then two with like the fucking the tentacles in the hospital and then like in three when like Spider-Man's like on the bridge on that tall building at the end and he's

like looking around for Venom and he grabs him from the top, the top of the scream, and they play this stupid scream. There's like a lot of like style in that. And I don't know who the fuck directs the new Spider-Man movies because I can't tell. I don't know what the fuck. Like it just looks like a- I haven't even checked. Looks like a fucking Marvel movie.

Like even the ones that you think have a lot of like director style. Like Tycho Waititi, like he did like, oh my God, Ragnarok. And you could tell that Tyco-Yiti did Ragnarok, but only through the Riketiti did Ragnarok, but only through the writing really. Like that's it. Like this, because like, framing and like the camera shit, it's all just like, oh, it's another Marvel movie. Yeah, but that's, that's framing and film. I feel like cinema's framing in general has become very similar. Like, weirdly so. It's kind of like

creepy because like, I forgot the framing of, who made alien? Is it Ridley Scott? Is that the name of the, you can tell when he's making a movie. You can tell when he really wasn't involved in alien movies anymore. You get like shot for shot. You can tell how he reveals things. It's because they all use the same like team like you know the oh I'm they're gonna invite their cinematographer back and so you always have that it has that same feel and that same vibe you know yeah it's kind of like the kind of like uh Zach Snyder where it's like oh how come it's always like this oh he's using the same fucking people you know yeah but you know

a Zach Snyder movie when you see it like a Zach Snyder movie at least has like style to it like it's it's him and it's like kind of unapologetic and like that's divisive and like people like it or they don't I'm not a fan personally but at least he's fucking making the shit that he's like trying to make and it's not like this weird like sterile Marvel thing where it's just like dude everything from Marvel just feels so fucking stale like it's it's insane they're not changing the formula man like blackwood could have been really sick because it works black would have been sick man I haven't seen it yet I haven't seen I honestly haven't seen I saw one of my friends I haven't seen in years and then him and his girlfriend were

talking about like and my other a friend lately car buying has become a pretty experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Cayman's in great condition on eBay, but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Kaman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamon.

Hello, Lodda Salon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at... Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. And in his girlfriend, they're all marking out about Loki, and I'm just like, I haven't even seen the first thing that came out of Disney Plus or whatever.

What was it? Wanda. Wanda Vision? I haven't seen that. I haven't seen the Captain America. I just haven't, I haven't seen any of it yet. I'm like, I'll get around. There's, dude, I barely watched Invincible last night.

Like, I'm catching up on a lot of shit. And I started watching the boys finally. And then I think I'm going to do The Witcher next. Like, it's just, man, it's too much shit. It's a lot. It's a lot. How do you keep up with shit? If you're not, if you're not happy, if you don't have a reason to keep up on that shit,

I could easily see why you could fall behind. Because, like, I only watch this as my girlfriend watches it with me. So I'm like, all right, I guess we're watching this together. But if not, I'd be like, I'm probably not going to watch that. Also, I'm like a nerd. So I watch that shit because I give us my life. Invincible is dope. I just want to say that.

That was really good. Everybody said it was going to be good. It was better than I thought it was going to be. So it was cool. Solid show. Invincible. Invincible is pretty good. Solid, solid show.

All right. Let's get on to this. We got some questions. So let's just get through this. Jack Ping off wrote in. Very nice. Very nice. He says, hey, trio of good.

I'm a bit of a history buff for ancient civilizations and wanted to ask, what's your guys' favorite myth or legend from history? Thanks for all the content you guys put out and making my work days go quicker. You're welcome. Jack, if that is your real name, I fucking sincerely doubt it. But I love history. Yeah, my favorite history myth is The one that comes to mind is Full Metal Sheen

When I invented that earlier So if you... Oh wow, you invented it. So hold on, hold on. There are people who look it up. So I'm sorry if you got this far in And like you wasted a lot of time Like trying to find this, it's not real.

But as far as... I don't know. Like I'm struggling to eat even remember like a time when something like I feel like I learned about these things on like trivia shows you know or like or like in class

somewhere because like some teacher of mine would like tell us some weird shit I haven't heard a historical myth in like a really long time like I wouldn't even know what that into like chupacabra type shit like I felt I felt like maybe he meant like

myths as in like what ancient civilizations used to believe or something. I thought maybe that's what he was talking about. Yeah, yeah, like the fucking Aztec sacrifices or whatever. You ever see that, you ever see the fucking, this probably isn't going to answer the question, but do you guys ever see the fucking that Aztec death whistle or whatever the hell? Of course.

I was just talking about that, like, I think two days ago, I was like, I forgot what it's called. I forgot, I forgot, it's name was the devil's, but I heard of it before. No, that's it's just the death whistle. It's fucking gnarly. Like, imagine fucking hearing that. shit all night people just like that's jarring that would it's crazy that would fuck it that would fuck up a modern day human so like like back then I could I could see that you know I feel like that's it that might have they might have been stoned to that shit because that

just means like oh get alert you got to do shit but like for us in like fucking mundane safe life or we don't hear sounds like that that might be the fucking worst shit ever yeah I don't think so I feel like it's an evolutionarily like Fuck it. You hear something like that. It sounds like a fucking... Wild animals and stuff. Like, their world was a world of like... You got a sound means

something coming or a friend coming help. You know, so... You think they were afraid of wild animals, too? They had aliens helping them. They're not afraid of wild animals. You know what probably is. Yeah, they're definitely. Definitely had aliens.

It's probably. What about you? What's your favorite myth? Because I know mine off the top of my head. There's so many good ones. There's so many good ones, but I'd say my favorite stuff is always been

Greek mythology and that's always been like it was cool I even got to touch a lot of the old stuff when I went to Athens and shit and you're not supposed to

but I was like I'm fucking of course you're gonna do it of course you're gonna touch thousands year old shit anyway one of the things that always fuck with me

was learning the the real myth of Hercules and basically how because like I really like the Disney I like the Disney version

It's so cool. And then like, it's like, oh, here's the real versions. And it's like, all right. So, you know, Zeus is a fucking adulterer and fucked everybody. And so, of course, fucking Harrow's all pissed off that another nigger that I didn't birth. And then he was supposed to be king. But she made sure he wasn't going to be king. She also made a, put a, a Hara put a madness spell on him and made him kill his wife and kids.

Yep. And then he's like, shit, I'm so sorry. what should I do to make it up for you? Make it up so I can forgive myself. So Harrah's like, oh, you got to do all these fucking, you got to do 10 deeds. Yeah, you got to do them or whatever, something called tasks, trials,

whatever the fuck you want to call him. And to the king that he was supposed to be king, but they gave it to this other fucking guy because he was supposed to be born and be king. Like Zeus was like, this guy's going to be king of this area. But then Harrah crossed his bitch's legs and made sure fucking he wasn't

born yet so what other dude would be born and then he became king she fucked with him all throughout his life like basically she just was like a just a terrible person his fucking ds he kept getting fucked over um or favors whatever you want to call them he was trying to finish them and do like all this stuff and then they got like oh two of them didn't count so then they made him go to 12 and just when you hear about them and them specifically i'm like how do people this is the cuntiest shit I've ever heard. Like this is, and it was so fascinating to me that, like, how thorough that

tale was. Because, you know, usually stories back in the day, where like, oh, this guy did this and this happened. But this was, like, very thorough. To the point where, like, some of the, um, some of the shit was like, very elaborate stuff. Very, very elaborate. I was like, this, it's just, like, it's a great

fucking story. It's a great story to, uh, to pick up, man, because there's, there's nothing good about it, but it's just, uh, it's fascinating. When I looked up, when I looked up Hercules. Yeah, I looked up Achilles' shit too. He's poor dude. Dude didn't do shit wrong.

He was just trying to help people out. But I did like a bunch of, for a period of time, I think when I was like first got back in the college, I did like a lot of history-based stuff. And I found out about something called the Palpevue. That's like the Mexican creation myth of like how there was the sun or something like that. Then it had like two kids. And they ventured throughout the world. And they pretty much saw the world take form. And they were like pretty much defending humanity.

And I like that myth. And then I like how it also connects to like, Taino-Caribian myth as well because it's very similar because I'm pretty sure they're just the same people. This ended up making boats and going to the Caribbean islands. Because my grandma told me about those myths when she was younger. So, like, I like the Pulpit Vu and I like the, obviously Greek, like all of the fucking gods and goddesses,

even though they're like really super fucked up, like monstrous people. They're all pieces of shit. I love it. They're all like the worst of humanity. Like, Hera is canonically probably the bitchiest bitch ever. Like, she fucked over so many kids that did nothing wrong to her. She just wouldn't fight Zeus. She would just fuck over the kids constantly.

And then Zeus would just, like, not be paying attention. He'd be fucking other chicks, dude. He'd be somewhere cheating on her again. He'd be like, all right, cool. While you're doing that, I'm going to go make your son have a horrible time. Your son that didn't choose to be born this way. I mean, if you're the king of Olympus, man, you're fucking all the pussy. I get it.

I get it. But like, God damn, bro. Like, be a good dad, too. Like, at least try to be a good dad. He got time for that. She's the king of Olympus. Yeah, man. Fuck that shit.

He's too busy, like, not fighting the Titans anymore because they're already gone. But, like, whatever. It's because he can't drain his balls. That's his curse. Like, he's always horny. That's his power, man. He can't drain his balls. That's hell on earth, man

That's fucking well It wouldn't be You wouldn't be able to focus You wouldn't be able to do anything You'd be ruined But Or you'd be able to ascend If you held on there too long

Until the pain disappeared You might be able to ascend Okay and so Okay and so I'm like Whatever We can move on I really have an answer

Because I just I never really got super into like Ancient mythology I was more into like folklore and shit Like stuff like The Moth Man in West Virginia And fucking like

like Roswell, New Mexico and shit like that. I just think that shit's like super fucking fascinating. But like as far as like, you know, fake gods and stuff, like I was interested in it, but never like so much that I like looked into. Like I didn't know anything about, I didn't know, I had no fucking idea about the fucking actual Hercules shit being so fuck. I'm gonna, let me close a line. I left shit out too.

It's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a fuck thing. No, it's fucking, yeah. A lot of, I know, I knew. I should say like I had, I could. make an educated guess that something that a Disney property is based on is probably in its original form pretty fucked. Only because of like stuff like Pinocchio and how fuck that actually is and like

Cinderella. The Little Mermaid and every all of those stories are actually like mega, mega fucked. Like if you actually look into like how they're done. Think of it like this. There's no every older story is not good because they did not live in a good world. But why, like, the whole thing, I want to know, like, what is that? Like, why the fuck? You know, you know, in North mythology?

That's why the world's fucked. Like, one thing, this is hilarious to me. The, uh, poetry is, you know, a big deal in, like, no, more, North mythology, Norse, but I guess in any culture. But the reason why there's bad poetry fucking, like, Oden, like, stole some shit. I forgot what it was. It's been so long since I learned this. He stole some shit that was, like,

good poetry and this fucking dude like was following him like a bird or whatever that was following him to chase him down because he stole some secrets and he absorbed so much of I think it was like a drink from a whale or something he absorbed so much of it that he shat some of it out and it fell to the world

and that was like irresponsible for people that are they're stupid and they suck ass at poetry like bad artist like just the fact that a god shat on fucking the world it was just like Like, that's, this is, that sounded like a fifth grader was like just making up a fucking story. And they kept it.

And just like, all right, this is it. This is what we're doing. Some guy, some guy with a bigger sword told them that story. And it's like, I can't beat him. He has a bigger sword in me. So this is just history. This is. Yeah.

Basically. This is just history. I don't know if it's so much that they were telling bad stories because the world was worse, though. I think it's more just like. I think it actually has to be it. I think they were just trying to scare people. I think it was just like stories were meant to be like warnings and now they're kind of like Stories are less warnings now and they're more just like kind of like

Lessons I guess at max and now now it's more like entertainment You know like you can have a story that's just just to entertain Because like a lot of stories back then were just like all this stuff like oh and then the fucking demon came and and split his penis into and fucking garggy is stomach acid and that's why you don't wait for the bus past 10 o'clock. It's like that's, it's just like all these like really weird like loosely connected, like, how is that related? Like, why would you, why would you scar me about that? Why would you convince me that the moth man was real and that it was going to rape me in my sleep

just because you didn't want me gambling? Like it's just all this like weird, this weird. Lit his penis in two. Hey man. These things happen. Anyway, big, big dumb film snobro and he says, Howdy, you swell and dashing gentlemen. I've been playing a lot of Smash Ultimate lately,

and Ken, Ryu, Terry, and Kazuya have made me want to step into the world of fighting games. As someone who's never gotten into them when I was younger, the prospect of stepping into a completely new world of video games is a little daunting. So my question is, what games would you recommend to someone who is completely new to the genre? Side question, what are your favorite characters in Smash?

We could focus on the main one. But, uh, I... Fighting? Huh? You said the genre of fighting? Yeah, like, how would you, if somebody has never played a fighting game, like, how would you introduce them to that genre? That's hard. I would definitely introduce them to Marvel versus Capcom too.

You know. That's such a tech-heavy game, but it's really fun at the same time. It's not that, like. It's super tech-heavy. I mean, it is, but it's one of those things that, like, I feel like I see it on the same, on the same lane as like Dark Souls where it's very like, oh shit, but you like this so much

that you're gonna fucking learn. You know what I mean? It's like it's so much you're gonna learn because at the end of the day, if you know half circle forward, you're gonna still do some projectiles and stuff like that. So you're still gonna have somewhat of an understanding,

but I would say either that or Tekken. Yeah, I was just like, Tekon 8. TechN 8's a great intro fighting game. Techin 8 and Smash. I don't think Tekin 8's a thing. Tekin 7, sorry. I was like, what the fuck? Tekken, I loved Tekken 2, and I think I played a little bit of Tekken 3 when I was a kid, but I feel like almost...

I know this isn't true from like an actual like design perspective, but from like my memory of playing both Marvel versus Kafka and Tekken, Tekin to me feels more tech heavy only because it's 3D and there's like a weird element to that that's like kind of missing in. like Marvel's Calcom is definitely like a super competitive game I would argue it's like on that weird line of like um it reminds me a lot of like

some of the better competitive FPSes of like that time where it's like this is fun to play just as like a novice and as like a social kind of thing it's like I'll relax and play this fucking game but if you want to get good at it that's also a game that you could do that with so like I think you probably like Marvel versus Capcom

2 is probably a good answer because you could just put like the difficulty on whatever you want or like play with other people who aren't super you know used to it and you'd probably have a lot of fun. I did that all the time in the fucking pizza shop like playing Marvel's Capcom 2 on the fucking arcade cabinet. Yeah and I wasn't good at that game like I had no fucking idea but that was a good fun game. I would say something like maybe I feel like Dragon Ball Fighters is pretty approachable like something like that like one of the arc system works things because those are pretty easy to pick up and play. Oh, to give it to strive, it's a very good game for New Breeze, too.

The new Guilty Gear's. You think so? I kind of disagree. Well, that all depends. Do you have it already? No, I just, what I mean is, I just feel like it's very niche. I think it's definitely, definitely very anime-ish fighter, like, different kind of thing. But I think if you're getting into a fighting game, like, that'd be a cool game to get into.

I think the style of it is very niche. Like, like, it depends on what your mileage is with anime. Like, if anime bothers you, definitely don't fucking play either of those. but if they don't bother you, I think those are pretty good fighting games and they're also like really easy to pick up and play and also like they're also competitive as well. But Marvel or Scowdhoundrel too is aged

fucking gracefully so go play that. Marvel versus Catcom Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay. It was well loved. There are plenty of Caymans in great condition on eBay.

but this one needed some work. That's just the start of the story. So after this guy gets a great deal on his dream car, he rebuilds the whole thing with all these parts he found on eBay. Performance brakes, suspension, body panels, the works, guaranteed to fit. Next thing you know, this nearly scrapped Cayman was out there on the track as a full-blown race car. You're ready to go, daily driver, your next Restamon. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it.

eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north. probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call.

24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Two, I think is the unanimous. Yeah.

It's so good. But one thing I can say is if somebody's intimidated about, like, say, combos and shit like that, number three, Marvel's Capcom three adopted the Capcom versus Tatsunoku. Like, their button system where if you want to do a combo, it's literally just light, medium heavy. That's your start off the combo. And then you just hit fucking, like, safe, roundplacist.

then you hit X to just start the fucking to air combo and then you just do the same sequence over again and it's basically it's Fisher Price for combos I hate what they did to Marve's Capcom 3 oh my god but yeah that's what they did it because if you ever played it on it was a switch it was a it was a switch uh Capcom versus Tachanoco and where it has all the like you know fucking Voltron and all that weird fucking weeb shit like old weeb stuff

like that's where they got the button scheme from and I was like oh this is really weird and then they put it to that And I'm like, okay, guys, nobody asked for that shit. And then they brought it back to... Yeah, Marvel 3 is definitely the best one to start with. It's good to like just, if you want to get a feel for a fucking fighting game. Because I still had fun when it came out. Like, I'm not like, I still, you know, I was a little disappointed, of course.

But, I mean, I still had fun with it. I love Dante as a character. I thought he was fucking cool of shit. I love Dante and Virgil. Like, Virgil's my husband. I fucking love those games so much. And I just, I didn't like how much they used. dumped it down because like that's what I was getting in because the thing about fighting games inherently is that fighting games inherently are confusing if you don't play them.

They're just a very different kind of game because it goes from it's like most games you just have to kill people or something like that but in fighting games it's a lot about positioning spacing out your moves and shielding and knowing when you can and can't attack. That's a lot like goes into it. That's really that's really if you're really trying to be competitive. If you're not you don't have to worry about any of that shit really because you can button match stuff like that but then there's like for instance. When I first got into Smash Bros. When there was like 20, 2013 is when I really got into it. For a while, I just didn't, I wasn't getting the idea of like, oh, how does this, like, why is this working and that's not working? Like, why can they do this and can I not do that?

And then I eventually started understanding like what frame data is. Is it like that? And that's before I got into like entering tournaments and like winning money or like getting like. But that's exactly what I'm talking about. I feel like somebody getting in the fighting or anything should never have to worry about frame data. That's just, that's so, that is so far down the road when you're trying to be competitive. That's late game stuff. That, that's like.

I feel like it's mid. I feel like early game is just fun. Early game is fun. You learn your moves and stuff like that and then mid game was when you're like on that frame. And then like late game was when you learn that like, oh, technically there's this gitch or my character disappears. But no, you're getting into like sword lunge territory, you know? Yeah, that's like late game content. That's late. That's very late. Like, I've played this for years and I need to learn new things about this to keep having fun.

Like, look, I play, I've played Smash for a very, very long time. I've played a lot specifically here. And I win some games. I lose some games. I do pretty well, I think. But I don't think about frame data ever. Like, I have never once thought about, like, any of that shit, you know? And I've been playing for a while. So, like, this is, this is late shit, you know? Yeah, to me at that point, it's not fun anymore. Now I'm fucking studying. I thought it's beginner to intermediate. That's thing.

If you're playing fighting games, you usually have, like, a competitive, like, like, bone in your body. That's usually, like, the people that play fighting games. So, like, I say that fighting games are very fun to get into, but, like, if you're going to keep playing it, like, don't play competitively if you just want to have fun. If you're going to have fun, just play with your friend. Play your friends. Play your friends. friends play fucking arcade modes,

do all the other shit, dude. It's like most fighting games now have stories too, just so you can actually you know, they're not like trying to rip you off as much anymore because really fighting games was only used to be three modes and then I'm like, wait, I'm paying full price for this shit. So, you know, they're kind of

arcade practice and versus and you're like, what the fuck? It wasn't really worth the price. It's $50, dude. The fuck, that's all I got. And it was all just like vary into the same exact fucking It was just like, okay, arcade is like computer versus the computer is my friend in practice is the computer does nothing.

And those are my game modes. All right. You're like, this is stupid. But yeah. And he has also favorite and least favorite characters in Smash, but I don't know. If we want to run through those real quick. Yoshi. Go ahead.

I have ice. I got nothing because I haven't played. Fair. I'm a snake, Richter, Young Link. guy, although I haven't played Young in a while. I fucking hate fucking jiggly puff, though.

Like, because a friend of ours plays him and it's like the most grueling fucking thing in the world. It's infuriating. Is she good? He's very good. Because he just, he just he knows how to scoop you off the map. It's almost like you're being like

swept into like a fucking dustpan like being like whisked away. I don't know what he did. It's this fucking jump kick fall jump kick thing. I would say I'm better than a person that plays as him, but he does beat me. Like, I'm not, I'm not just holding the title

and whooping everybody's ass every time I play him. Like, he can beat me. And it's very annoying. I hate jiggly puff. A little jiggly cunt. I want to get into Smash. I just fucking, I just can't bring myself to buy, like, Nintendo products.

I mean, I bought the Switch once just because I had extra money. I really wanted to try it out. And then I just, I sold it, like, fucking same month. I just, I don't know, man. It's I get you Maybe if I find one Like somebody

Somebody left a Nintendo DS At the car wash one time Some kid was probably Really sad And probably got a beating from his dad And that was like pretty cool Because I had a DS for a while Or like a 3DS

Or whatever the fuck it was Pretty cool Yeah so I'm hoping somebody leaves their switch Because then that would be like The reason I get another one All right Because yeah Chicken on Friday

Rode and he says Hey guys I'm just writing in to ask you your opinions on something very important. Can Shadow the Hedgehog say the N-word? Um, no. Why not? He's not a human. He's not a black human.

I mean, if Goku's not a black human and you've said, I mean, he's not, but Goku, but Goku, I can't stop Gogh, I'm saying it. If Shadow takes off his shoes, I could probably beat him. I can probably outfight him, he takes off his shoes. I feel like Shadow is like half a foot tall. you know like compared to humans I feel like

Shadow you can just step on him if he was just like not paying attention Shadow is certainly not half a foot tall He's definitely tall than that yet Shadow is Shadow is maybe I would guess sincerely

Maybe like four feet Something four feet something Four feet maybe a little shorter Because like if you played Sonic 06 You know how tall Sonic is in comparison to normal people And it's like it's it's kind of it's like Mario in New Dunk City where it's like three foot three

yeah that's still that's still not step on a bull I can step on someone who's three foot I mean not question them to death you could step on them with your like in literal sense you could step on them but like I think I can out fight shadow if he wasn't going ultra speed if he's going ultra speed I can't do anything

but that's what makes it that's what makes it like you're not going to beat him. Like, if he has it. It's like, I could be a cop if you didn't have a gun. If you're cheating, you're cheating.

You know what I mean? Well, duh, yeah. That's like, that's like, I'm step believing like, hey, cop without weapon, chance.

Cop with weapon, I'm not going to win. You know, you got to be supposed to. And what's the chance the cop's not going to have a weapon? Sometimes you can not have weapons. You don't never know.

I guess. If he's off duty, if he's off duty, if he's off duty, you catch him slipping, you could probably beat him up. Just like, I'm putting it out there.

All right, fair enough, fair enough. You can catch an off to the... Like, like, like, Shadow's little fucking

twick-ass legs, like if I grab him, if I get him, if I get him, like if I get a hold of him, I'm buying his jugular and I win. That's it.

You're not, you're not going to catch Shadow the Hedgehog off duty. If I get him, if I, sometimes he's off duty, he's never off duty.

He's got to take his shoes off and he's got to take his shoes off and he's got to fucking, go to bed sometimes. Let me ask you something. Are there ever not shadows? That's not Shadow's power, dumbass. Shadows power, he does.

I don't know anything about Shadow's. He runs fast like Sonic. He's Sonic but edgy. Is he just like Negasonic? Yeah, he's literally Negasonic. Oh shit, that kind of goes back to him saying the N-word. Would you be fine if Shadow said nigger to you? He's definitely a white kid.

That's why I can't be okay with that. If a black hedgehog came up to me, and said nigger. That would be my least concern that it actually said nigger. I don't know, man. How is this thing speaking to me? And why does it look nothing like any animal I've ever seen in my life? I feel like Shadows or Anxty White Kid.

I feel like no black kid acts like Shadow. So like I just, I can't be okay with him saying nigger. Like, yeah, I thought he's just something like like, like, I like disturbed and, man. I like fucking power metal. I'm fucking upset about shit. Like I couldn't. I couldn't let that rock. I'd be like, you gotta fight me, Shadow.

You gotta fight me right now. No guns, no super shoes. You gotta fight me. Dude, they said modern day Eggman is seven foot one. It's a big nigga. What even is that? That's like chief. That's literally chief's height, I think.

Yeah, Chief and armor is seven foot one. What that? Eggman is taller than Master Chief. That's funny as fuck. How is what the fuck, man? I mean, he is all legs, dude. Those legs are pretty impressed. He is limbs.

He is lank. He is lank. incarnate. How does he keep himself up? Like, I'm pretty sure his legs should collapse. He's also fast, too. He's like he's not slow. He's way fast.

I remember in Sonic 2. I'll never forget playing Sonic 2 for the first time. You fucking whoop his machine, the Mega, the Mecha Sonic, you whip its ass. And then, no, no, that's not true. It's before. It's right before he gets into it. You, um, you, you fight fucking Mechasonic, you know, the little metallic Sonic. Not Mecca.

That's the Metal Sonic. You fight Metal Sonic. And then, after. After that happens, you see Eggman, and he fucking outruns you to get into the mecksuit. And I'm like, how? How? He's fast, bro. He's not a slow dude.

It's pretty dope, dude. Like, if he catches you slip, he can really hurt you. Yeah, dude. Anyway. He caters you with your pants down, bro. Like, man, good night, you know, bro? Can I make him say, you know? Papa Jesus.

Papa Jesus has the final question. All right. And he says, Hey, Wild, literally, and ex-specialy. I have a simple question today. What are some songs you absolutely loathe? Personally, the All Summer Long by Kid Rock. Yeah, by Nelly, and Shape of You by Ed Shearin,

make me violently angry. Yeah, by Nelly? I've never heard that. Yeah. Are you talking about fucking Usher? Yeah, he's, this is, this is, this is. I don't know. He's probably talking about, yeah, you fucking.

Racist. God damn racist. Can't get the black man song right? Wow, Papa Jesus. Hold on. I'm gonna put in yeah by Nellie and see if that's actually a song Maybe he's maybe he says nope. Nope. There's no there's no fucking yeah. He definitely means usher Wow, it's pretty racist. He thinks fucking usher and Nellie are the same fucking person. These niggas are not similar at all I mean, I mean let's be hold on hold on those videos don't hold on those videos are pretty low-res back in the day. Oh, okay. I mean, okay, Chris. Gotcha.

All right, man. That's, I was gonna go to that. Didn't he, didn't Usher make, uh, Usher Bucks? Usher made like everything. No, but didn't usher like, I don't know, didn't he like adopt Justin Bieber or some shit? He even discovered Justin Bieber.

He just, yeah, he's the one that like fucked him first. Oh, so fuck that guy. First, first was me. What was the other ones? He said, Ed Sharon's Shape of View. all summer long by Kid Rock I don't know that song but most of Kid Rock's music is insufferable

so yeah what's the difference I actually like Shaped of You by cheering which is hilarious I like my friend My friend Brian Storm has a metal version of it It's like really fucking cool I like it a lot But the song by itself

It just sounds like some fake beach And it sounds like some Like I don't know knockoff Just tropical song, it just sounds, it sounds like, like a, even though it's the original song, obviously, but it sounds like a karaoke version. I don't know. It's weird to me. I can't describe it. As a Caribbean person, I got really over to the fact that people just make songs very horribly

about like dance hall and like our music sound just like, eh. Yeah. If I hear it, I hear it and I get happy that we're like, at least our sounds being played somewhere, you know? Hey, fair enough, man. We shine and we shine. You know, Drake ruined our culture pretty much, but like, it's fine now. Drake Bell, right? No. No. He is singing Spanish music now, though, and that shit was weird.

Yeah. My Mexican girlfriend. He thought he was going to get caught in Mexico. That's what you thought, man. That's like Drake Bell changing his name to Drake Campania or something. Yeah, exactly. Moving to Mexico. Yeah.

The Mexican kids are going to be easier to get than the American kids. what is like I'm telling you type in the age of consent of Mexico and that's why you know that's how you know that's why you get down there oh my god oh my god Derek come on I'm just saying I know I know it's dark but hey man we we got them like ladies and gentlemen we got them

ladies and gentlemen we got them type in age consent in Mexico I'm like what is your what's the first thing that comes to your head The first thing that comes to my mind is radioactive by Imagine Dragons. I knew you're going to say that. I think, and and, uh, renegades by fucking ex-ambassadors. Have you ever heard that fucking thing?

Hey, hey, hey. It's like a car commercial. Hey, hey, hey, living like we're renegades. Dude, I, we're dead and gay. Hey, hey, hey. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons is sincerely, sincerely, one of the, just the least compelling things I've ever heard. It is so devoid of merit that I cannot believe people like it as much as they do,

and there are enough of them to have made that song so popular in the first place. It is inconceivable to me that that song caught on with anybody, because it's the same, first of all, it's not even like a four-cord song in the way that, like, most popular songs are four-cored songs. It's a four-court song in the way that, like, fucking some kid in ninth grade would write a song on an acoustic guitar. And, like, oh, this is my breakout hit. It fucking sucks. You just hate that songs.

Like, I don't hate that song. I've heard it before. And, like, oh, this is a song. All right, cool, it's on whatever. You hate it. Lately, car buying has become a pretty dull experience. But on eBay, behind every car in part is a story waiting to be shared. There was a guy who bought a 2020 Porsche Cayman GT4 on eBay.

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You're ready to go daily driver, your next Restamond. Hello, Lotus Alon, hand the parts to finish it. eBay has thousands of cars and is the largest online selection of vehicle parts and accessories. eBay. Things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

It is a four-cord song in the worst way it could be a four-court song. I'll agree with you and that. It's fucking brain dead. But it's not even the worst, dude. You know what song I hate? I just, what? I hate. This is going to sound really specific.

But I hate it. any Billy Eilish song that's played rapidly after the first Billy Eilish song. Like, I can't have her on repeat because I'm like, this is the same song again. Immediately it's the same song again. I've tried to respect it. But every time,

because people that love her adore her. And it, I don't know why. But like her music comes on and I hear a song. And I'm like, all right, cool. I like, like call me when I,

I think Carmen in a party's over. It's the only song of hers I actually like. But then I listen to a literal another one on her song and she's singing the exact same way. And it's like, bro, this is the same song again. There's, look, Billy Elish, Billy Elish is, I think, talented for her age. I think she's got good composition. But, like, she's not like a, this isn't Lady Gaga, you know, like, this isn't like somebody who's just an objectively, like, incredible singer.

you know like it's not I understand what you're saying I don't think she sounds bad though I just think it's kind of like she's talking she's like she's doing what Drake does but in like pop music now she's like Yid Yang twin shit you know

it's like whispering and shit no but like dude remember that fucking bullshit that song was so disgusting that's why they had to whisper it because it was so much fucking pussy and dick me and talked about I was like yo what is this

look man Billy is actually, because I told my mom the same thing. I told her that, oh, this kid is, well, you're not kidding anymore. She's like fucking like 19 or some bullshit. But it's like, she is really talented and because she's, my mom said like, oh, I saw this fucking Billy Elish on one of those jimmies. And I was like, dude, I couldn't fucking hear what she was saying. She's like barely talking.

And I was explaining her that she's doing this style that all these angsty kids love. but she has so much range that she doesn't she barely fucking shows I've never heard her actually properly sing ever once ever ever that's the problem ever ever ever

I'm not even like exaggerating like I listen to her which was like 13 well like before like dude her fucking her her EP or whatever it was before she blew up like really huge had some stuff on there where it had some different range

it was pretty dynamic and once she did the you know the bad guy stuff and crown shit or whatever. It all, it was just like, I'm doing this style where I'm whispering. And she just, so nobody can tell that she can sing well. I remember having a conversation with, this was a long time ago, I was, my band was auditioning drummers. And this one girl wrote in, and she said, oh, I can play like all the songs to this metal band, Lamb of God. And I remember the guitarist was saying, like, ah, it's not that impressive because it's not the most technical

drums and I'm like, well, dude, just because she, you know, that doesn't mean that's all she can fucking play. She was kind of showing that like, this is my technical skills, but it's not the, it's not the end of my range. It's not the end of my range. It's like I watched my brother, my brother's like, he really loved the band Evidence and he bought a live DVD of them. And I'm like, what the, I was laughing, but then one day I was so bored, I watched it.

And I watched their drummer warming up. And this dude was playing the. fucking shit out of them. But you can't tell that he's amazing because he just plays the most basic bullshit. I feel like... I find that a lot with like live shows in general. Like if you go to a

live show, because like I think it has something to do too with just like the fact it's like it's a song, it's got to be like stable. It's got to be like repeatable. It's got to be easy to edit and post or whatever. Like for the final mix or whatever. So like there's a lot of like people who

shy away from complications. But like, when I saw Rise Against Live in like 2011 in January, they did like this eight minute version of Savior with fucking like guitar solos and shit. And I was like, this is fucking incredible and it's depressing that I can't listen to this on like Spotify right now because it was like, dude, these people are like fucking amazing. And like the drummer's doing this fucking crazy shit and it's like, oh my God. Like same thing with, uh, what is it? When I went to see and this is going to sound fucking insane when I went to see fucking haul and oats. Holland oats!

And it was like at a fucking open stadium and they were just playing like normal and then all of a sudden shredding. And I'm like, why? It's fucking haul and oats. Live shows are so fucking fun to go to specifically for I think just like bands. Because you get to see that shit. Like the weird like, because maybe like, I don't know, maybe they're like rappers or like individual artists like singer-songwriters that can make maybe do something like a little bit more

flourishy like with maybe they'll add a verse or something that's like oh that's cool but it's it there's there's so much more when you see like some dude do like an eight-minute solo in the middle of a fucking song you've heard a million times I'd say it's about the same because like obviously like if someone does it's instrument so like if someone because I've seen them I saw a paramour in concert and I heard a hailing like fucking shake the room and I was like oh that's fucking insane but then I also saw um I saw Kendrick Lamar in concert and Kendrick's freestyle for like 12 minutes and I was like oh what the fuck like it's this it just concerts in general you're more likely gonna see because they're

just they're that's straight up them performing so you're gonna probably see some like fucking wild shit like Lily Lily said she saw um she saw Kanye Weston concert and he did a whole fucking like like maybe like 30 bar spoken word. That was just like, I would love to hear Kanye West do like spoken word or something like that. Is it like that's the nature of concerts? You, you'll see the artists at their most unpolished, unmastered, but probably them doing what they do the best, most likely. The only reason that I would, like, I understand what you're saying. The only reason that I think it's like a little bit more interesting when it's people improvising with instruments is just

because like that's communication that needs to happen to make sure everything like goes off with that hitch. Like some dude could just go off on a tangent, like, on some drum thing, and then, like, the guitarist and the bassist have to know to, like, fade out into, like, something that repeats to, like, keep it going. And it's, like, there's more... There's more... It feels more dynamic, just because there's more, like, wheels turning. But I know what you... I know what you mean. Like, there's, like, that fucking famous Kanye West thing that, like, Bo Burnham parodied in... Or that Bo Burnham made fun of and fucking make happy in that special, like... He did a really good job.

So Berber did a really good job in that. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. So, yeah, there's a... There's a lot. And I think that's going to be the final... What time are we at? I think we're at, too.

We're right at two. This podcast was about nothing in particular. I love it. Well, you know, fucking sometimes... Sometimes it's got to be there. Tune in next episode where we realize that the day after we recorded this, Mexico vanished.

Elijah Farrakhan comes back and it's like, what, you're back? The aliens are going to land like the minute we press, pause. Like, we stop them. That was a good one. I don't want to hate them. Yeah, that would be nice.

Hopefully they're cool. Anyway. Hopefully, guys. Ah, God. If you like what you heard today, somehow, and it didn't, you know, send you spiraling into a state of disrepair,

um, consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access to every episode and access to special bonus episodes. $5 gets you a question right on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment and you're in for good. And 25 gets your name dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will now do. Count me down.

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Fucking hasn't Let's go That's our show I am now going to hand this over to our editor. We got one now. We got one. Thank you, Kyle, for your hard work.

Thanks, friend. Thank you, Kyle Kalinsky. Thank you so much. Could you imagine he was our editor? That'd be great. It'd be a lot of fucking, like, very, like, liberal shit in there. He just starts sprinkling in his own shit there. All right.

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