The Snark Tank - #86: Conservative Ghosts

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Would you want to be haunted by a conservative ghost? Do you remember 100 Good Deeds by Eddie McDowd? Dennis Prager got COVID? Was Nightmare on Elm Street overrated? Tali or Liara? Smashmouth wants to kill your entire family (they swear to god?) Did Shane Dawson’s cat put out a mix tape? Is Kanye doing wild nonsense again? All these questions and more answered on today's episode of Marcus Fenix’s Wet n Wild Ride! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Yeah! Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap?

You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do these things. POSCO.E or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, look, it's a little dead crazy taxi three. Gazy taxi.

Gazy taxi. We're on the go taking queers out of here. God Christ. Is this a fucking, fucking Prager You version? Prater U edition of Crazy Taxi. Dennis, Preger. Oh, my God, man.

Dennis Prager has COVID. That's the news. That's the only bit of news we found this whole fucking week. Unless we wanted to talk about Kanye's awful hair, which is not really that interesting. Yeah. That's this bully. He might be going bald, you know, let him be.

He's, no one's going bald like that, man. Sometimes, bro. You never know. Sometimes you get, you get bit by an animal and you get sick for little bald and you fucking balding, you know? He's going bald like a, his head looks like a topographical. map of the Grand Canyon. It's like, it's a mess. If he was going bald, I think he would wear a fucking, like, hat or a beanie. He would wear something stupid. He would wear that mask that he

fucking put on. That fucking Uncle Fester Mike Myers mask, whatever the fuck that thing was. I would just like, I really want to go bald in the middle of my head, you know, like my hair grows as full as it normally is and a middle's bald because that'd be crazy because I don't even see it. Yeah, because you're so tall. I'm tall and it's so full of. They'd be like, yeah, I don't know. As soon as you started balding at all, you would fucking freak out. Who mean? No, I wouldn't.

I don't care. Yeah, you would. Every man does. Nah, bro. Every man. You're talking about yourself, bro. I don't care. If I didn't have my hair, I'd be bald.

Ask your bald fucking friends how they felt when they started losing their hair. Go ask them. I have like maybe a bald friend. We have whisk, right? That's it. Whiskey, yes. And whiskey rocks it, bro. He rocks the red beard.

Of course he rocks. Now ask him when he started balding how he felt. I'm a different breed, bro. I'm telling you. It won't bother me. I know you say that now, but it's like a lot of people say like, oh, yeah, I fucking, I wouldn't mind. I think I can take getting shot. I think, you know, people are.

I mean, people are. I've never, I've never said that. I'm never, I'm not, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I think maybe I could. Like, I don't think I'd die from getting shot, but like, I don't want to get shot. It depends on where you got shot, right? Somebody shot me, like, in my fucking shoulder.

I'm like, well, that hurts a lot, but like, I don't want to do that again. Let me propose this, like, little hypothetical. Like, if you, if somebody was like, listen, you could, uh, you could have a life where you never go bald, but the caveat is you have to get shot once. I wouldn't take it. You wouldn't take it. You wouldn't be, you wouldn't get shot for the channel.

Can you choose where you get shot? It's not a fatal shot. It's just like a, you'll, just so you could experience the pain of being shot. If it's like getting shot somewhere where it wouldn't like affect me for the rest of my life, like say I have permanent nerve damage or whatever. whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah. They shoot you right in the head of your dick, man. Right in the head of your dick. I don't know because even, even when like say, you know, my hair is partially receded on, but not enough to where it bothers me, but like, say, you know, otherwise I would just,

because people thought like I was actually bald because I would wear a hat all the time. But I was just like, no, I started wearing hats in middle school and I never looked back. And, uh, and even before that, I would always just shave my hair down. It would always be like buzzed and very small. So it would, I already know what I would look like bald, so I guess it wouldn't bother me, so I wouldn't get shot. I feel like it's just a win-win at that point, because you get, here's the thing. It's not, you're not going to be crippled or anything. It's just going to hurt like a gunshot. And then you're going to have that experience.

You're going to know what a gunshot feels like, and you're never going to go bald. That's like two privileges, in my opinion. Like, it's like a privilege. Yeah. The privilege of getting shot. Well, it's not. It's not going to cripple you or, like, damage you permanently. It's just you get to experience.

experience the feeling and you know what it's like. You get to say that you can take a gunshot, you know? My hair line has not changed in my life ever. It's the same it's been since I was like maybe eight. Yeah. Maybe when I was younger, I was like here. No, I'm pretty sure it's the fucking same. Can you imagine?

You fucking starts right above your eyebrows. You got this much forehead to work with. But for me, I don't care. I just don't care, man. Like having, like, I love having my hair. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cut my hair again and I'm gonna go with the flat top. But like, I don't. Yeah. I'm just, I'm just curious because like, you know, I see, because I've talked to very many people that. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 500 big horn crew cab four by four for three sixty nine month for 39 months with $4,000.99 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call one, eight seven seven, seven, two. for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. Cash flow crunch. On Deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it.

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of them that they're like, fuck, man, I used to have a luscious head of hair, and now I'm bald as fuck, because me, I'm, I would just shave it off because I'm already used to it. Yeah, I think the thing about being bald is that it's just, I think it's just probably boring to be bald, you know, it's like, it's not really, you don't get to really do any, like, part of, I don't know about you, but like, I think, like, sometimes the most interesting thing that happens is your hair changes, you know, and you're just like, ah, I'm rocking this now, I guess, and it's like, when you're bald, you just bald, you just bald. Most of my life.

No, that's not true. That's not true. I've seen you have, I've seen you with different hair. Like, even in the short time that we've been in, like, Los Angeles. Chris, what? Different hair. It's either really big and looks like a mess or it's saved them down. Recently you had like the, the, the, the flat top.

A flat top for a little bit. Recently, you had the fucking, you know, the Fresh Prince thing. And that was fun, I guess. But, like, that wasn't really, that's not like a big move. I'm going to do it again, actually. I'm getting a, I'm getting a very specific haircut. for Halloween. I'm gonna do it

that I'm a permit. I'm gonna say it like a flat top that I'm a permit flat and it's gonna be like straight hair going over my eyes. That is just

you know you should do? You should, oh man I should have thought of this I already picked my Halloween costume but like somebody

I'll be really sad if nobody in our group goes as Buff Corell and does like the whole matted down like fucking Oh my yo his hair

looks insane he puts so much gel in his hair you can see the gel container on his desk. I think it's fucking Vaseline. He just vaseline's and just combs and combs and then puts it down

and he eats it so he gets stuck. You got to admire that he has a fucking poster of himself on his wall. He does. He looks great in the poster too, man. Yeah. Yeah, he does. He is definitely someone we got to take care of

as like a species. You know, keep Buff Carell going. Yeah, there needs to be. a government-funded program to make sure that he's safe and, you know, taken care of. Like, without a doubt. Like, I would be totally fine. If my tax money went to that as opposed to, like, I don't know, like blowing up a Middle Eastern child every couple days, like, I think I would sign off on that, you know.

Oh, 100%. A lot of money. Look, all I'm going to say is that what else are those kids doing, you know? Oh, my God. What are they got going on? All right. What are you going on, you know? Or playing with sticks and rocks and shit for a fucking.

You've gone too far What was that? We were talking about Dennis Prager getting COVID, right? Wasn't that what we're talking about? So Dennis Prager, for those of you who don't know, he runs Prager University. Is that fake college?

I'm pretty sure. But are you allowed to call yourself university if you're not a real... Like, is that a real school, Prager, you? I don't know. Honestly, I don't know if it's just like, say, you know, like, you're... The bank, the federal reserve,

there's nothing. federal about it and it's just like in the name. You know what I mean? Like FedEx or some shit. Wait. Maybe it's not a university, but it's just putting it in there. So here. Federal Express.

That's what FedEx is. So Prager University is not an accredited academic institution and does not offer certifications or diplomas. So it's not actually university. It's just like a name. Yeah, it's just a name. It's not even a real school. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's what I was saying. How these you have these these fucking companies using federal in their name, but they're not a part of the government. Yeah. That's what I was trying to say. So everybody just, you know, send your fucking send your money over to Reagan University real quick if you want like a really proper education. That's what Donald Trump did. That's what Donald Trump.

He had that air quotes university. Oh, yeah. And then he, uh, he, uh, he, as soon as he became president, he was like, oh, I'm going to give this to my son. Dude, Dennis... And he took a bunch of donations for no reason. Was Dennis Prager... Was Dennis Prager in that weird group of like... Did you ever see...

You guys ever see that video of the conservative, like, roundtable thing with all those, like... It was like Ben Shapiro and, like, I think, like, Matt Walsh and people. And they were talking about how, like, Barack Obama destroyed rock and roll or whatever. No, that sounds awesome, though. What? That sounds fucking amazing. So there's this... It's like Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh.

some fucking Michael Knowles I think like all these like weird like you know the in the 2019 thing I don't know how recent or how old it was I'm sure if you Google Ben Shapiro Obama rock and roll it'll come up oh yeah it just sounds so stupid it really it's a funny fucking I love it I love watching conservatives talk to each other about how crazy they are It's so beautiful. It's not even conservative specifically. It's like television conservatives. It's like a very specific...

Because Colin is conservative. He doesn't talk like these people. It's the weirdest. He's a real. He's a real person. It is the strangest group of people. It's like, yeah, because rock and roll was about white male angst, and Barack Obama said, you're not allowed to feel angst anymore.

And then it went away. And it's like, what? I don't... First of all, I don't know. I don't remember. I was a young white child when Barack Obama was... I don't remember getting that email where like we weren't allowed to feel pain. And now you can't feel angst anymore, so now I went away.

Well, let me be clear. Three days, Grace needs to stop. We cannot have any more rise against. We can't have any more of the slip, not, no more panic at the disco even. My chemical romance, more like my chemical no more. No, ma'am. me and my dog here, a band.

Me and my dog, Bo hate rock and roll. Right, Bo, Bo, Barc. Bark. What if,

what if his dog had his accent? Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark.

Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Barker bark. Bark. Um, I can say the end word because I'm my owner's black. I'm going to say it.

Man. Ken a hook. Yeah, a dog, as a... Chris, don't think about that. That's an interesting premise. What if you have a white dog but your owner is black? So, hold on, hold on. Hold on.

This is a very real question now. Do you guys remember one... Do you guys remember 100 good deeds by Eddie McDowell or whatever the fuck? That's that show where that kid turned into a dog and he had to do 100 good deeds to be turned back? No. You don't remember that? Oh my God. Wait, hold on.

Am I making this up? I could be making this up. Maybe. That sounds like an old guy. I swear to God, please someone. There was a movie called the Big Dog with a what's the name of the guy? Tim Allen. Tim Allen.

That's the shaggy dog. Oh, sorry, Chris. My bad. Fucking Mr. I know Shaggy Dogg's the back in my head. He knows all the dog movies. This motherfucker knows all the dog movies. You guys haven't read.

Tell him for pets. You guys are a bunch of assholes. Fuck you. You guys just haven't read the fucking shaggy dog grim war cards. Listen. A grim war. There's magic involved. 100, 100 deeds for Eddie McDowd TV series 1999 to 2002 IMDB.

A bully is transformed into a dog that must perform 100 good deeds with the help of a shy classmate. It's a real show. Imagine turning into a dog and your family's looking for you and they're like, where's my son? He's gone. Oh my God. And then like a few months later you come back home. We're like, Mom, I was a dog for a while. We got to start treating dogs better, bro.

They're really, they're really badly treated. Yeah. And mom's like, you're crazy. And they put you on a psych ward, but that happened to you. That is what would happen to you inevitably. Like, that's like when, uh, in Jack Frost, when their, their deceased dad became a snowman. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That whole, that whole tip. That really shone a light on, I think, how we treat snowmen as a society. Yeah. That's society. We're really abusive towards them. We kick a. and we fucking rob them. I would be, I would abuse a snowman.

How would you not abuse a snowman? It's just sitting there smiling at you. They really are. A snowman really does yearn for abuse, doesn't it? It's like it beckons to be abused. Yeah, every snowman's ass I could find in the general area. I've never seen a snowman that I didn't want to fucking just absolutely decimate. What are you smiling at?

Derek's smiling. I was just, I was just giving to that fucking show. It just like, I can't believe it's real. It has the worst fucking CG fucking mouthwards talking and shit. And I'm like, just don't make it do that. It looks so fucking terrible. They should have just went the homeward bound wishbone route where they just sort of like had a disembodied voice talking.

But yes, this is, I will admit, this does sound like a show that I would like gaslight everybody into thinking he's real. But it is a real show. And so the question here is this, is a philosophical question. The dog is inherently a slothelial. slave to its master. That's what a dog is. They're not.

Can a white child transformed into a dog if it's owned by a black man? Does he have an N-word pass? If he's a black dog, no. He can't have anemort as a dog. But everybody reflects towards dogs. But if it's a person who is now a slave animal. Okay, well then you got to figure out

a dog slave version of the N-word, but not the N-word. I feel... Oh, man. I'm gonna let you all talk amongst each other with this one. I think it's a reasonable question. If my family saw I was talking about this, they would be so upset. They'd be like, I cannot believe you guys are that.

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Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. I raised you to be better. Fine. You failed. Fine. We'll leave it.

We'll push this to the side. and feces. You're in. I'm Dennis Prager. I'm Dennis Prager. I have COVID. Have you ever seen a baby that you liked? No.

No. Babies are possible. Babies are stupid and evil. Dude, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, the, the, uh, the,

I, I, I can't stand Prager you. Dennis Prager's an absolute shithead. But the, like, those YouTube poops single-handedly justify his existence. Like, without, like, there's that one. There's one specifically that I, I think Derek showed me like a long time ago. Yeah, it's called good old P.U.

Yeah. That's the name of it. It is one of the best. Like, it still makes me like belly laughed, like to this day. Like, it fucking kills me. I've seen this one. This one is ridiculous. It's fucking great.

There's another one where I found. I found another one where the guy found, you know, the sentence mixing. It's so brilliant. But he made him say, tie me down and fuck my gaping ass. asshole. Like he made... Prager, you say that. If you hold a baby

underwater. The baby fucking dies. The baby fucking dies. Oh my God. It's such a good video. It's such a good video. Yo, don't go to Prager You, but like look up Prager You, bro.

Like, good old pee you. The YouTube poops are so, are genuinely such some of the best content I've seen on YouTube. It's great because the content that they talk about in Prager You, makes it just up great for sentence mixing. Like all the saying shit like the N-word, urine and feces and just communism, all in the same

fucking video. It's like, I have so much material to work with. Yeah. I think I'm so glad that he exists. And, well, he may not exist much longer since he has COVID. Oh, yeah, that's right. We'll see. I mean, he might inject the horse pace into his eyes.

You know, maybe he'll survive into his eyes. And he screams real loud and he's cured. Hold on, we can't call it horse paste. It's not horse paste. You can get it from a doctor. Right, you get a human version. A human version of horse paste. Maybe if you're a coward, if you're one of them yellow-bellied cowards, you're going to get their human version of it.

So I saw, like, that's the one other thing that I saw. I didn't know if I wanted to touch on it or not because I'm not really familiar with it. But, like, I saw Joe Rogan talking about how, like, yeah, they lied about me taking horse dewormer or whatever because he was taking Ivermectin or whatever. Oh, yeah. And I don't know, man, like, I saw some of the clips and I was like, yeah, it's not really necessarily right to call it that. But at the same time, it's like, I think the point is that it's just not for COVID.

Like, you can't take Ivermectin for COVID because Ivermectin is a very. a parasite thing. It's a dewormer. It's not necessarily. You can get it over the counter for people, obviously. Just like anything. It's like people can take like increments of horse tranquilizers, but they're still fucking horse tranquilizers. And it's like, COVID isn't a parasite. So you can't take it for that.

It's like that's... And so you got to... Sorry. No, no, no, go ahead. Go ahead. I was going to say, you got to question Joe Rogan's doctor that would be willing to prescribe. the human version of ivermectin to to defeat COVID.

And he also had the question this doctor because he also got prednisone. Which prednisone is for inflammation. Yeah. lowers your fucking immune system. So if you're trying to fight a fucking virus, you don't want to take prednisone. But here's the thing.

He's rich, so he has regeneron. He's got the monoclon antibody, just like Trump did. That's what fucking helped him. But everyone's talking about this stupid horse bullshit. And he's playing dumb. Joe Rogan is playing fucking dumb.

He knows that it's the fucking regeneron that fixed him. And furthermore, when he's saying CNN fucking lied, they didn't lie because he never clarified that he took the human version. When he came out this stupid fucking video was like, I took this and this and this and that. He never said, I got a prescribed by a doctor. This is the human version.

Dude, this fucking horse version skyrocketed after that video came out. After Joe put that stupid video on Instagram, it's skyrocketed. And so he's like, they're lying about me. I'm like, no, they're not. You never clarified bitch. That is, like, that is a good point.

Like, they, the horse version specifically, people, people were actually going to, I think, like, farm, like, like, like, the places that, like, facilitate farm equipment and farm, you know, I don't even know what the proper word is, like, pharmaceutical. Yeah, pharmaceuticals. I don't know. Cultural shit, whatever. Yeah, pharmaceutical with an F but, like, it's, it's, it's very clearly, like, his fault

for not specifying, like, what he was taking, because a lot of people jumped to the first conclusion that they found, and the first conclusion that they found is, like, hey, the primary use for this thing happens to be an animal dewormer. So I think it's, like, look, I get it's annoying, like, especially because if people can, it's not necessarily unfair to assume that, like, if you hear somebody say that, especially, like, Joe Rogan, who's, like, rich and probably, like, I don't think Joe Rogan's an idiot.

So like, it's fair to assume that he's taking the human version. Like, so I could understand maybe his frustration with people misconstruing, but at the same time, you have a show where you have said this thing, and that led to wrong thing being bought by millions of people. So it's a bit of a situation where nobody's necessarily the smart bat. That's not his fault, man. If people are dumb enough to do dumb shit, then they're dumb. I just, here's the thing.

When you, when you have a platform that big, it really does beg the question, do you have a responsibility, like, do you have, should, is, are you morally obligated to be responsible? When it's that fucking big, because when you have that many people that are, that are, you know, that are listening to you and they're taking advice from you. And here's the thing, like, I've been listening to Joe Logan for quite some time. COVID broke him. I don't know what the fuck happened to him. He's out of his mind now.

Because before this, he's never given fucking medical advice. on the level of saying, oh, if you're in your 20s, you shouldn't get vaccinated. Like, he straight up just saying that. Or taking a fucking article about chicken vaccines and saying it's about COVID and spreading a fuck ton of misinformation. And the fucking guy that wrote the article, the doctor, the scientist or whatever, was like, hey, motherfucker. Like, he's some fucking Australian bloke.

He was like, oh, mate, you're killing people. This is about chickens and shit. Like, however the fuck he talks. And I was just like, this is incredible. And then people are like, preach Joe Rogan, and I'm like, I'm done. I was like, I'm fucking done with this shit, dude. I think, I understand what you're saying. But at the same time, part of me, yeah, I understand.

Part of me would say, and this is not the most moral thing. But if there are people, if there are people who would hear Joe Rogan say, I took Ivermectin for COVID and then they're like well I gotta go to the farm feed store and buy buckets of Ivermectin mix it in

with my fucking protein shakes you know dump it in a butt chug this shit at a fucking kegger like at a certain point I almost feel like it's like it's morally the right thing to do to get as many of these people doing this shit as possible

I'm Look, let me, look, look, look, I'm just saying. Let me, let me, let me be the, let me be the middle ground, because Chris is obviously the darkness. And then dark is the light in the situation. Let me be the middle ground, okay? Let me be the middle ground person, okay. I wouldn't say I'm the smartest tool in the shed, but what I do is I research things. You got to have some sort of understanding.

If I heard Joe Rogan was taking this thing, I would like, oh, what's this call? I'd look it up. And I'd be like, hmm, that's for horses. And then the next thing I would do, what I would look for is it for humans? I'd find a human virgin. I'd do that. If you are taking, if you are not doing enough research about what you are putting in your body, not even food-wise.

This food-wide is takes too much time to do research about food. Because food goes all over the fucking place and there's things everywhere. But if it's medicine, you have to at least know what you're about to put in your body. I'm a person that doesn't use medication or medicine at all. Chris has seen me have serious headaches, and I'm just like, nah, man, I'm fine. I'm just going to wait till it goes away. Insanity, but whatever, that's your prerogative.

I was going to until it goes away, I'll be fine, whatever. I didn't use it before. I'm not doing it now. That's why right now, if I took a Benadry within 10 minutes, I'd pass out. You just die. I can't. My body's not used to it. It's terrifying.

Look, I just want to say something real quick to Chris's point because I normally, no, no, no, no. normally agree with that one billion percent it's in this particular thing and this is what i've been saying about what's been happening recently we've always known how stupid people are we've always known this but we never thought that it was really going to have a consequence and effect like any of us in our bubbles or at all people stupid people doing stupid things what i'm saying is we would completely be out of the pandemic if it weren't for these fucking people now let those things Let them die, let them die. Let them die. Let's find a way. The thing is what they're not doing is they're not dying at an alarming rate.

They're spreading this shit more. It's not going away. Yeah, yeah. Beyond that, any other time, I'd be like, if you take something, if you ingest poison and you die and you get sick, I don't give a fuck. This is affecting other people. That's the only reason why I'm bothered. That is the only reason why I'm bothered. Can I just say how perfect it was that Sweeney started his whole, like, argument or his whole section of this conversation with, I'm not the smartest tool in the shed.

Which is like an amazing... It's the truth. I'm not. But there are no... There are no smart to... It's the sharpest. I see. I fucked it up.

It's so perfect. You know, it's funny? I didn't even notice. Exactly, because most people don't notice. I'm not the smartest tool. I even turn it in my head the fucking all-star song from Smashmouth. That's what it is. It's just smartest tool.

It's just smartest tool. You look and kind of cum with your fingering. You're coming. And you're calm. There's cum on your forehead. You don't stop coming and you don't stop coming and you don't stop coming and you don't stop coming. And you just keep coming. You keep coming and coming.

Oh my God. I have never had a topic come up so organically before. I just remembered that the guy from Smashmouth went insane at a concert this week. oh yeah and they're done right yeah they're done what happened what wait whoa what happened he went on some alcoholic rant about like I don't know like they were trying they were at some concert he finally was like fuck shrek you know you finally came out and said it now he didn't say that now he would never say that damn they are they are shrek basically um he can't separate the two hold on wait what what happened you just keep coming why that was just getting in my bum and then I start running

dude I'm gonna come about to come I'm coming again I can't stop from coming dude that was actually so it was actually so fucking perfect because like we didn't write this story into the news or anything this just genuinely didn't happen it was just genuinely organically brought up but I'm reading a report here on I don't know New York Post which is like not the most reputable source but this actually did happen so it's like big deal whatever but smash mouth lead singer Steve Harwell no longer a part of the band the 54 year old rocker is retiring for music to deal with his physical and mental health Steve has been dealing with long-term medical issues over the last eight years.

What did he say? He said something hilarious that I'm trying to... Hey now, I'm a booze hound. What do you say? I'm gonna come again. I gotta come. I'll fucking kill your whole family, I swear to God. He said that to somebody in the crowd.

Hey now, I'll kill your whole fam. I swear to God, Dan, I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill your fucking dog. I'm gonna take his body To your wall He said something like If I could masturbate better I wouldn't leave

I wouldn't go anywhere Or something like that That's fucking awesome Yeah It's just it was so fucking funny I couldn't masturbate better I would never go anywhere That's the fucking most man

statement ever That is the statement of a man Right there He's not even fucking bitches He's just like Trying to figure out how to master masturbation and he's like fuck I need to go out and and seek more information like he's looking for the masturbation Buddha or whatever the Buddhist to teach him and then he'll stay home forever

I just love the idea of the guy who sang the Shrek theme basically just masturbate himself into a coma bro he's just dead he's just hey now I'm jerking off now I'm jerking off again I'm gonna do it one more time my hand hurts so I'm the other one is the mysterious person Hey, I'm gonna keep me in my dick. I'm gonna keep me in my dick. They said it appeared that he did a Nazi salute, but I actually don't think that's true. I think he was like, I think he was like,

I think he was like waving his, I think he was drunk and he was like flailing his arms around. But everything else, it was like, he was flailing his own than boom. He's one frame of solidness. Hey now, I love Hitler. He's just, he's drunkenly screaming and he's like flailing around and suddenly like real,

Real organic Real strong They just goes back The fucking cranking and yanking Oh man But that's a very real thing that happened So smash mouth is gone They're dead

Damn bro They died So sad Now who's the All-Star I don't Shrek I guess He's the wrong right He replaces that piece of shit It's Shrek now

They gotta digitally render him in And he plays at guitar And sing You know it be hilarious If the rest of the band Took like a group photo But they used that Instagram filter Where Shrek is like

He's like kissing you And caressing you and shit Yeah Dude I'm fucking annoyed I did that thing as just like Oh I'm gonna do this real quick Before I fucking play 2K Or whatever the fuck I was doing

And then like blew up on Instagram I'm like Damn, man. Anything else that I'm really trying to promote never hits. Oh yeah, no, it's never like a video. You can't expect the internet to care about things they should care about. No, what you care about? Talent.

I've been working on these two videos for a while now, and by, like, the big video is almost done. It's like 30 minutes or whatever. It's taking me ages. I know it's not going to, I know it's not going to do super well. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26, RAM-500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,99 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM-572 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial.

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my phone just doesn't... If I have the notifications on for TikTok, it just like doesn't shut the fuck up. It's exploding. And I'm like, of course it's this thing that I thought of in like a minute and recorded in like maybe five max that explodes.

That I did because I was bored while I was taking a break from doing the thing I gave a shit about. God damn it. You can't expect them to care. They're not, they're not, they're not there all the way. Like, they're not all the way, you know. Yeah, I mean, I get it. It's just how it works, man.

Yeah, I get it. It's just sometimes I see like, uh, like I will see like a musician with something, a clip of whatever they're doing blow up. And I'm like, damn, hopefully I can get one of those, never, not once. And then like, I've, the dumbest shit that I've done like where I, I pretend, there was the after image you can do, we can clone yourself, and then I pretended to suck my own dick, whatever, that fucking blew up until TikTok took it off. It was violate, it was stupid, because I'm just in my fucking boxers.

And I'm like, how does this fucking violate anything? It was just implied fallacious. I didn't even do anything. Yeah, I remember I said, that was actually a fucking funny video. But like the, there's so many, like, basically naked people on TikTok. It's insane. Like, I come across it all the fucking time. I'm not complaining.

I'm just saying that it's there. I'm not complaining or looking exactly. I'm not exactly like constantly staring at it. But I'm just saying it's there. So like I did something, I did like a Shane Dawson the video game sketch with like the Life Strange music because everybody's doing that weird like, you know, the Life is Strange meme. I was like, I'll just do Shane Doss in the video game. And I did like a whole joke about like, ah, uh, uh.

I better glaze my cat with my semen. The cat's not going to come on itself or whatever. And it got taken down for nudity. It is just me. Chris, Chris, were you naked? No. Be honest. Be honest. I promise.

Did you have clothes on? Did you have your shirt and pants on? I wasn't naked, but I didn't have clothes on. he just were you just Donald ducking it you just had fucking a shirt

on no no one says shit about that I don't get how no one says a damn thing about

Donald Duck walking on with only his fucking shirt on no pants a little piece of shit are you kidding everybody knows

everybody knows Donald Duck is a pedophile everybody knows that he can clearly he hangs out you know you know why his voices like that

it's because he's been kicked in the fucking throat by by children every day for the rest from for the last

like 50 years he's been kicked in the throat I can't even do the Donald Duck voice He used to sound like Like Hellboy He used to sound like What's his fucking

What's his name? Like the clay guy Wait that's Ron Perlman Yeah Ron Perlman He used to have a silky smooth like Ron Perlman voice And now he sounds like that But he's being kicked in the larynx by children I'm Donald Duck

I'm Donald Duck What's going on there Goofy You want to talk about Mickey some more? Or you want to go get these kids with me? And Goofy would always be like, Welp?

Uh, no. I have a child of my own. Yeah, I have a child of my own. I don't really think that's funny, Donald. I don't support. Oh, you're a bitch. You're a bitch. Matches doesn't want to fuck.

Oh, my fucking God. All right. Yuck, Maxie, stay home. Don't go over to Donald's house. He might try to assault you. And then Donald Duck walks up to to Matt.

And he like he whispers in his here. I'll kill your whole fucking fucking family. I swear to God. Yeah. If I could masturbate, if I could masturbate better I'd stay home. That's a real statement. Well, wow, wow, wow. You know they had other songs, right? They had like one other song. No, they don't. They got like that song and that's it. They had one other song.

Walking on the sun, right? Yeah, yeah, you might as well be coming on the sun. You know what that one? You might as well be coming on a sun. Yeah, that's real lyrics. Yeah, I didn't even change anything I do remember that They also did that weird cover of

I'm a believer That's right Because I was in Shrek too Yeah, that was in a Yeah, that was right Well, yeah Then I came on your face Now I'm a believer

Yeah I can come even more now I could come real fast Careful, careful You can't say come Or else you're gonna be banned on TikTok For nudity I know right

That's right Oh yeah yo About chain Dawson I don't think we mentioned this Did you know that he got... No, fuck, I don't care about that. He, on, uh, somebody hacked his Spotify. Did you hear about that?

No, what does that mean, though? Dude, they, somebody, well, someone hacked his Spotify and they uploaded a song. Dude, it's a fucking banger about fucking this cat. Was it on there still? No way. I completely forgot about this. Is it on there still? Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals.

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loan attributes your business loan may be issued by on deck or celtic bank on deck does not lend in north Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval i downloaded it if it's not it might be on you i'm sure someone re-uploaded on youtube whoa i had no idea i completely forgot also i would mention it's a fucking bang your dude Dawson cat song I guess

it has to be it it has to be it I'm not seeing anything it's all it's all auto tuned and everything someone might have taken it off let me look

let me see Shane is it called I fucked my cat yes that's it oh man I wish where is it at where is it at

where is there it is it's called I fuck my cat it is oh my god it still has various artist topic it's still up there this is the one

that I downloaded just in just in case it fucking left it was so under the radar are bro. Oh my fucking God. This sounds like heat.

This sounds like heat. Wait, wait. We can't, well, oh man. It's not bad, dude. This is so, well, I guess if everybody who's listening to the show, you can go find this. It's called, it's called I Fucked My Cat by Shane Dawson, but not really. So I don't know, I don't know how you'd find it. Yeah, you can find like a little one on YouTube and, uh, it just,

Dude, this went crazy under the radar. Yeah, I didn't know about it until just now. I forgot about it. The only reason why I, we were actually, I was what I was prepping for a Sween in our show. And I was gonna, I was gonna do a hip hop theme of some horrible shit that I've heard. And that was one of the things.

Like, Dicco mode, the best song ever. Dicc-o-moed my actual favorite song. Most of the things that I found were like, just horrible white people, like, rapping like just the worst shit you've ever heard that I'm like dude your yours your spine's actually gonna fucking like just collapse from like that much of like break it's gonna break I'm a fucking folding off myself dude I fuck my cat it kind of goes hard man it took a pretty good trap meet too and like I got some sense in there as well like

they're like look man Shane I don't know man you might just want to you better admit you did it so you can get this fucking shit behind you bro they give me some good songs yeah because if he didn't do it now he sucks I can't believe someone actually did that though like they fucking hacked in there like you have to you have to first you have to

find out who's his record who he's going distributing through and then you gotta find that fucking password to get in there people like that's pretty incredible people are and those are like irritating passwords too like that's like not a super

that's not like a super elegant system that a lot of these back-end distributors have. Like, it's kind of, you know, not great, but that's a great, that's good hacking. Like, that's a good hacking, Frank. It's not like, oh, I fucking, you know, redirected all your funds to Al-Qaeda or like, oh, I, you know. Did you imagine, too? Shane Dawson, Shane Dawson's dirt, poor, he's actually been funding Al-Qaeda.

Crazy taxi. they mean grooming him to be the next bin Laden grooming him they started with the fucking cats man you got the fucking cat to become a real terrorist that's the only requirement do you hate America and do you want to fuck a cat

you want to fuck a cat yo oh my god bro this is amazing I love this episode Oh, by the way, welcome to the snark tank podcast. We didn't even do that. Hey, look, it's a little dead meme. Oh, welcome.

It's 40 minutes into the fucking show. I totally forgot. We got so immediately thrown into the best conversations you could possibly hope to have. Fuck, man. Yeah, go check out. I fucked my cat. You know, it's a real banger. You know, by, what does it say on Spotify?

It says like, by Lil Radio or something. Yeah, Lil Radio Gator. Yeah, it's the hacker. That's so fucking funny. That's an awesome name for a fucking, an artist, little radio gamer. Oh my God, Shane Dawson, Little Radio Gamer. Chase T-783, the godly P-TG. I love it.

I love it. Just terrible names. Fuck you, Shane Dawson. Your life's over. Fuck you, dude. God, well, he just put out that weird fucking thing

that I didn't watch because I, you know. Why? What is it like a comeback thing or something? I think it's an attempt, but it's literally just him doing like his ghost hunting shit.

He's like, I'm in a fucking house with a ghost. And it's like... Oh God, really? Yeah, I don't know. I didn't watch it. I don't wish harm on him particularly,

but like I want someone that does that one data be found like mangled like somewhere random. Oh, I want all of them dead. That's a ghost, right? That's a really angry goat. Yeah, I also want to be clear. Like, I don't hate Shane Dosser. I don't know him. I can't pot. And I don't really know what, like, there, sometimes, here's the thing, sometimes things happen with internet people where a rumor goes out of control and then people believe it. And is this fucking.

a cat thing? Did he come on his cat? I don't know. Probably not. But it's funny. So I'm rolling with it because I like that it's funny. But I can't hate him. I don't know him. I've never met him or anything. We should do a ghost. We should do a ghost hunters episode of snark tank.

When we're all in the same area one day, we do a ghost hunter snark tank. What would we do? Like, I don't know. We go to some place that's like objectively not haunted. But we do like a bunch of fuck shit. Like we rent out somewhere. You'd be like, oh my God, I think I heard a ghost. Would you?

And there's going to be someone yelling a hard R real loud. Would you be, would you guys be down to like finding like some like haunted like place, renting it out and just recording an episode in there just for shitting giggle? Yeah, it's definitely not haunted. Well, no, it has to be a haunted place otherwise. It can't be a haunted place, but it's not actually haunted because that's not a actual thing. Right, exactly. It's not an actual thing until it's a real thing, you know.

like you know like yeah because you know all the ghosts the Taliban wasn't a real thing until they fucking put shit emotion are you are you fucking comparing terrorists to fucking ghost they're fucking both terrifying they are both terrifying they both make good they're both terrifying man

they're both terrorize okay okay they do terrorize the fucking the fucking Scooby-Doo is fucking they find a terrorist I think they would wait. It's a fucking, they take off the mask and then it's fucking Osama bin Laden.

You're not dead. I've never been dead. And he blows himself up with the gangnair. You know, as how they die. As far as the English language goes, a ghost is kind of a terrorist. I mean, it's not a political terrorist, but I guess it is a terrorist. It's not a political or a zeal-a-zelatrous terrorist. There's no zealotry involved, but it's still.

terroristic. Yeah. It terrorizes. It is, yeah, it is terrorizing. I just, I guess the definition of terrorist is tied to... Political. Political.

You're terrorizing for political gain. Well, how do you know that ghost doesn't have fucking opinions, bro? That's actually a good point. That's a very good point. Yeah. You know, like they could be the ghost of a fucking terrorist. The ghost of... Could you imagine?

The ghost of a fucking Dennis Prager. It comes out of nowhere. It's just like... Paternity leave is a sin. The ghost Don't masturbate. Can you imagine a conservative ghost

where you're just like you're trying to hear, you're trying to sleep and then some fucking figure sitting on the edge of your bed. It's like, I noticed you've been sinning with your penis by yourself. Here are three easy steps to refrain from masturbation.

Oh my God. Can you imagine evangelical fucking ghost? That's scary because those niggas are insane. Abortion is a sin even if you simply drank too much sugar by accident and the baby

died. What you've done, you see what you've done is terrible. You attended a BLM march. You are part of the problem. Then it fades away like fucking Gasper. It jumps in the air. like, who it's like

ghost back. Casper, the deo-conservative ghost. Oh my God. Oh, my God. That's the one that needs to be drawn. That's the one I need to see. Casper the transphobic ghost.

He's not. He's actually properly afraid of trans people. Like he doesn't treat them differently. he doesn't have these jarred views. He's scared of them. Yeah, like he thinks Dave Chappelle's most recent special is a TED talk and not a comedy show.

This is very good. I enjoy this. Dave Chappelle and then Dave Chappelle fucking dies because he's so scared from seeing a ghost. He scares Dave Chappelle to death and Dave Chappelle records on hella funny before he dies and he dies. You come out your shale, You're showering, right?

You're showering and you come out of the shower and then your mirror's all fogged up, but like it's written on the, it's like, are you triggered? On the fucking foam. I just saw some guy fucking saying some shit about being triggered because he wrote a diatribe.

Essentially an essay, a thread on Twitter about speed runs like a lot of radical leftists are do speed runs. He's like, I noticed. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low-mile lease on the 26.

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And I'm like, holy shit. That's, that, yeah, that is insane. Do you remember back in the day when like the main, the main criticism of a lot of like, you know, left type content, and especially in like 2015, 2014, was the fact that they turned everything into a needlessly political battleground that didn't need to be political in the first place. Yes. That is exactly what that is.

That is the exact same thing. It's like, if you're looking at somebody who speed runs, it thinks like, must be a leftist because they don't want to do hard work. It's like, you're fucking out of your right. First of all, speed running is insanely hard. Literally. The amount of discipline it takes to learn again.

Look, I have plenty of games that I love dearly. Like I love Halo 2 to my core. I have no fucking clue how to speed run that thing. I've played it well over a thousand times probably at this point. No clue how I would get through that game in like an hour. Like I have no idea. But there are people who do that who go through every single game and like find the nooks and crannies. Like constant play test, constant like testing and failure and testing and failure.

Just to find the right formula to get through a game that is usually fucking seven hours long. in 10 minutes. That is not simple or easy at all. That's crazy. Such a stupid thing. Like, really, dude, like, have you ever even tried to speed run anything? I think, obviously not. Obviously not.

It's just people that are stupid that have platforms so they can spread this stupidity to other people. Gasset. And it's like, there always has to, someone always has to fill the void. Because it was, for a while, there was a lot of fucking, fucking pompous fucking progressives that were just saying stupid shit. And people are like, hey, calm down. And it's like some of the people are antsy.

And then some like this fucking re this, this conservative gentleman. This fucking gentleman. This gentleman had to fill the void. Like he's just itching. Like nobody's being stupid enough. I need to fucking just, I feel like, why can't people just chill the fucking. count. Somebody always has to take over. Leftists can speed run a video game and it's impressive.

But when I speed run sex, I'm pathetic. That's me. That sounds like a fucking Ben Shapiro thing. That sounds like Ben Shapiro would make that fucking... Say and mean. 100%. Can you imagine being haunted by Ben Shapiro's ghost?

Dude, I'd kill myself so quick. That's fucking... I can't deal with that shit. I would just make fun of him. I'd make fun of him until he left. Let's say hypothetically, ooh, ah, ooh. Let's hypothetically, I frowned you

at that attempt at this day. Were you a bitch? Oh my god. Let's hypothetically, I took my penis out and I peed all over your bathroom. You're still an atheist? Well, how do you explain me? Ben Shapiro, the ghost.

I've actually been a whole good point. Yeah, it would be a really good argument. I would be a really good argument. I would actually be like, wow. Yeah, I mean, you know, This is one time your debates have made sense entirely. He literally had to die to be right. Bro, what's the name of the book he wrote?

I would have killed Lincoln. No, he wrote a book that was like, it had like a little black kids name in it that was like ultra offensive. I forgot what it was called. It was the name of a book. Oh, you're right. Yeah. He wrote a book and a Mainekeye's little black kid and the name in the book was like Lee Roy, the little nigger by.

Ben Shapiro Black Kid book It's amazing I didn't know what else to search I mean I got it I found it I think True Allegiance is the name of the book

How Ben Shapiro writes black characters In his novel Okay hold on this is on page two of chapter one Let me read it I'm gonna read it for you guys Oh man On the second day of school Brett was sitting by himself at lunch He wasn't one of the Irish kids

And he wasn't one of the Italian kids So he couldn't sit with those clicks and he'd made the mistake the day before of trying to befriend a couple of the black kids that hadn't gone well he'd ended up with a black eye and a few new and a few new vocabulary words to add to his dictionary so today he sat alone until he made the mistake of looking up standing above him glaring at him was a behemoth a black kid named yard yard what is that Nobody knew his real name. Everybody just called him Yard because he played on the school football team.

Stood 6'5, clocked in at a solid 280 pounds, and looked like he was headed straight for a lifetime of prison workouts. The coach loved him. Everybody else feared him. If Brett hadn't looked up, everything would have worked out just fine. But then again, he didn't have much choice, given that Yard grabbed him by the shirt, pulled him out of his seat like a rag doll. When Yard mumbled something in his face, what? said Brett. I said, Yard growled. Did you just call me an N-word?

Because I just heard you call me N-word. The entire room turned to? He growled it. He growled it. Like a... He's a saying word. You don't get a word, never. Aruga.

You know that classic video that dude describing like a dog attack? And he's like going insane at the camera. Yes, he did it. He was really good at it, dude. Yeah, it was like a perfect... That is crazy. That's, like, yeah, that's pretty... I was expecting a crazier name, to be honest.

No, there's another one that was worse, bro. I was... I was expecting, like, a Jaquimbo Monsanto or something. I think a Jal Quimbo. He had, like, a fuck name, and I was like, oh, man. Yeah, I'm sure you can find it. You sure it wasn't, like, a crowder, because I know that guy's pretty fucking, like, transparent.

Yeah, like, I don't know if he's written a book or something. He's just funny. He's just funny. He's like, I see. You know who I think is more ridiculous than Crowder and stuff now? I hadn't really, I've only recently seen Matt Walsh clips. Oh, yeah. I've never seen any of his shit before until very recently.

And I was like, this guy's a fucking real person. I can't believe this. Matt Walsh is a fucking idiot. I remember doing a video on him a long time ago, back when everybody was saying that I never made fun of conservatives, by the way. made this video about Matt Walsh who had this whole take about how like playing violent video games objectively makes you a worse and less moral

person like he, this is a take that he genuinely has. Oh, this guy, I know who he is. Was that when he was fucking playing like GTA or Grant the Fado or some shit? Like, did you see that where he's like, fuck video games and he's like playing Grand The Fotto like, oh, he's killing running everyone over and he's like, oh, this

is bad and he's having the time of his life. This is bad. And he's like giggling up. he's laughing and shit. He's definitely the kind of guy that like opens his mouth and fucking faceplants doodles, man. Like this guy is a fucking moon. He's a guy sucks. He's a fucking asshole.

By the way, if you're conservative and you're a little like, listen, this is, we're talking about very specific people here. We're talking about caricatures of conservatism. These fucking joke of their characters. They're not people. I keep trying to tell people that like if they, like, if we make fun of somebody with like a particular set of beliefs, right? and you know

people get offended on behalf of that because like they see themselves in that person you shouldn't see yourselves in those people like even if you like have the same even if you're like aligned on the same political spectrum like there's a fine there's a pretty big difference

between you know Colin and Matt Walsh you know yeah I feel like I'm I feel like we sat him in a room with Colin. He'd be just as confused as we would.

Yeah. He'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? I'll tell you what Colin would be like, now, you say this thing and I just, I cannot grasp how you think this way. I cannot grasp how you feel this way. He'll be like really academic about it. He's so vocal and people are stupid.

I love him. He just, he has to talk to you about it because he gets scared that it's going to spread. So he's like, I got to figure this out quick before he gets everywhere. He actually had a, he did an interview. on, and this is weird because I'm technically

like shilling another podcast, but like he had an interview with that Philip Mnuchin guy, the guy who like he plagiarized the Dead Cells review a couple years ago at IGN and got like sat. I remember that. He had an interview with them recently and it's actually like pretty fucking interesting but throughout the whole interview

he's like, I just can't understand how you didn't understand that plagiarism was a bad thing. Like I just, I can't wrap my head around. It's so funny. It is a good conversation but it's also, it's just it really is. just one of the situations like it's literally one of the things they teach you not to do

in school yeah like academic writing immediately teach you how bad plagiarism is like like the first thing you learn like hey you plagiarize you get a failing grade it's so yeah no shit right it's it's such a bad thing to do that even I don't do it and I have no reason not to really you know because I'm not an academic writer like I don't have to not plagiarize but I it's just I think the worst part about it is it's just Lazy and like unoriginal like if you're gonna Imagine imagine plagiarizing your opinion Like that's that's such a crazy fucking

You I don't know just shows that you don't actually have an opinion about this subject right? Yeah, otherwise you want to speak up people on people so often To make money, right? People so often don't have proper understanding about things they talk about and they bring it up and it is like oh yeah This is that and it's like bro to shut up if you don't know it doesn't admit you don't know it Yeah, like I had That's fucking yeah. I did a Halo video.

Like, I'm still working on it. It's going to be out in the next couple days. But, like, I've been doing a halo video, like, assessing my thoughts of, like, the infinite flights that we were playing. And I made a specific point not to watch anybody else's video before I wrote and filmed mine. And, like, after I had filmed it, I went and watched everybody to make sure, like, I wasn't repeating anybody.

And there were some parts... Right now with Ram Trucks Declaration of Deals. Well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab. for $3.69 a month for 39 months with $4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer

at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. Cashflow crunch? On-deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat with flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment. Get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank.

On Deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. In SkillUp, he does like video game reviews. There are some parts in his video that I noticed were like very similar to. stuff that I had said independently without seeing it. And even then I was like, you know what? I'm going to cut that out. It's not hard

to do really. You know? Or at least, like, I reworded it at the very least just to make it seem like it's, you know. Because that's unfortunate. There's only so many different opinions you can have on the same game, especially when everybody kind of unanimously agrees it's doing pretty good. But, right. You got to be out there as much as you possibly can be.

You be like, yo, this game is... You know, this game is dick cheese and fucking shit water, man. Like, I hate this. Ew. This game is fucking not come. I'd rather suck Ben Shapiro's ghost dick and play this game. I would never let you suck my dick. I'm the straightest man.

I'm the straightest, I'm the straightest ghost alive. Like, seeing as I'm not gay, you hypothetically are homosexual not because you want to suck my ghostly cock, yeah, but I'm not going to let you do that because I... All right. Let's move on to some... I don't even touch my own winner.

I don't even touch my own winner. I don't even touch my own. Do you guys, do you guys see that tweet that he did where he was like, oh, I think it's like one of his kids or something. Yes,

yes, yes. It's like you came into my wife's bedroom. I was like, bro. Yeah, it was about Columbus Day. You said that his kid came and asked him about like, hey,

what's today is today Columbus Day and then went into his wife's bedroom and that's the same thing and was really proud. The tweet, It was deleted immediately if it was real. The thing is, I feel like somebody just, you know, I wanted to be real so badly. Yeah, yeah.

It does just, I'm like, it seems like something he might say. My wife's bedroom. He walked into my wife's bedroom. It's probably not real. That man's a fucking, that guy's stoic, man. I love him. I love him. I love how much of a beta he is, bro.

Let's move on to some fucking questions from our lovely. patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank remember you can support us over there for a dollar if you want and you can get early access to every episode just letting you know that in the middle of the show just so you know um let's see let's see let's see let's fucking see

do we have any questions from preger you from dude's prerger you do not write in prager you supports us entirely wholeheartedly but they have not written into support it he refuses he's actually the highest grossing patron would you take would you take a sponsorship from break you. I would. Yeah. If they, tell you what,

if they were willing to pay, if they were willing to pay, well enough and they let us do whatever the fuck we wanted with it, they had like, they were like no notes. Yeah, I would do it. Yeah, for sure. I'd do it. How would, how could you not? How could you not waste that opportunity? Like that is, that is, that'll become viral. Like, that's a legendary

moment right there. You're given an scaliber and it's like, okay, now don't go fuck around with this. This hold on to it. Like, nah, I'm gonna go cut shit in half, man. And we'd be like, hey, welcome to the Snark Tank. You want to know how abstinence is the only true method of safe. Safe sex? I would love that.

I would jump at the opportunity. Look at me. I, Tom, swinging, I'm abstinent. I've never touched myself or anything ever. And I would show them my hand, my fucking stark, beautiful white hands. I've never laid my palms upon anything. The only liquid leaving my body. is the tears when I'm reading a good book by Ein Rand. Let's move on some questions.

Let's move on to some questions. Cupomatic wrote in. This is a Halloween-themed question. I guess vaguely. Hey there, trio of death. Since this is a spooky month, what was your worst nightmare that may have been realistic in some way? P.S. hope you guys have a wonderful month.

So you guys ever had like a fucking stupid realistic nightmare that... I had a nightmare last night. I don't really remember. I had a nightmare last night. Yeah, actually. It was really fucking, it was really, it was really, really scary. But like it wasn't anything going on. But it was a really frightening dream.

Because I had a dream that me, because my girlfriend has this problem where she just likes going into like festive. He's like, oh, it's, it's fall. Let's go do all the fall stuff. I know she's listening. And I had a dream that we went to a pumpkin pass. And it was like this maze at first and we got out the pumpkin patch and it was like this big field and there were tigers In the field and I and then they were like just calm down their friendly tiger is not gonna bother anybody And the tiger came up to me and I was just like what the fuck that's a tiger and everybody else seemed to not

Understand the power that tiger's hold and I was like okay. I'm gonna wait and a tiger walked away and a tiger walked away and And then some guy came with a pug and he's like let me lead you guys past this place if you go running by yourself You might have sight the tigers and they'll attack you so this is like small person with a pug walked me across this field full of tigers And I remember at the end of the dream I screamed at my girlfriend and I broke up with her because she brought me to some place with live tigers Oh shit and I just woke up and our heart was beating so fast That was just like, what the fuck? Why did you...

It's such an insane dream. That's a really good reason to break up with somebody, though, to be completely real. Like, if... Why the fuck would you bring me someplace with live tigers? What is your problem? They're friendly tigers. Oh, no, they're friendly tigers. I don't know if I have...

She was like, fine. She was like, oh, well, they're just tigers. I don't know if I have any, like... Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessee. get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram, 1,500, Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months, with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, license extra, license extra license extra extra license extra extra license extra extra extra license extra extra extra license extra extra restrictions apply, take delivery by 331. Cash flow crunch, on deck's small business line of credit gives your business a immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it.

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Like all of my nightmares now are not, they're not particularly. fantastical. Every now and again when I take Militone to go to sleep, I'll have like a fucking insane nightmare where like it's just all me and my friends and we're like walking through a broken down Manhattan and we got to all these like weird

like video gamey like theme parks area. It's like oh this part there's a train in the middle of the stream. We got to go through the train to get to the other side of the street for some reason. It's like all right, whatever, fucking weird. And then it gets dark out of it. But like the most horrifying dreams are the ones where like they I could like concede. They could

conceivably be real. You know, like, I wake up, like, I'll be, like, in my room and I'll be doing something. And then, like, knock over water. And then it'll, like, land on my computer. And then my computer will catch fire. And then my house burns down. And then my dog walks out half burning and it's, like, screaming. And I'm like, oh, my God, what the fuck?

And then I wake up. Jesus Christ. Oh, the worst dream I've had ever is what you call it. I had a dream is right after I started getting, um, you start. started doing a podcast and I was saving the money to renovate my my my new room and I was like oh man I'm so excited I'm gonna get a nice computer I'm gonna get all this cool stuff in my room and then as soon I had a dream that someone stole my account and spent all my money and I was like yo that's like $8,000 just God what am I gonna do what am I gonna do I can't afford to move I can't

do anything and I woke up crying I woke up on the side of my bed tearing and I was like I hope it's not true. I didn't even check my car because I was so scared if it was true. I hate being vulnerable like that man. It scares me.

Yeah, I got you. I don't fucking, I don't have dreams like that, man. I just, I have just mundane bullshit. I don't, I have one nightmare and it wasn't even scary.

It was just stupid. It was like, I guess I don't even consider it a nightmare. It was just, I was in front of my grandma's house and some fucking bullshit that I don't even remember was chasing me.

And I was, jumping over entire lawns of grass like as if it was normal to like run away it made no sense right and then I got cornered in a fucking shed and before I got to see what it was I woke up and I'm like what the fuck was that

it was so weird I remember that vividly but that's pretty fucking stupid I love that though like sometimes I'll have nightmares that don't ever happen and I understand What?

Wait, what does that mean? What do you mean? Is anxiety the whole time? No, so what I mean is, you know how like, there's a distinct difference in the way that a dream feels right off the bat than what a nightmare feels like. You know what I mean?

Like, a nightmare has like a tone or like a feeling that like, you're kind of aware that it's a nightmare. And I remember kind of recently, like in the last year or two, I had one of those where I'm like, oh, this is a fucking nightmare. And so I was waiting for like

the scary thing to have. happened and it just never did. I was just in a place with a feeling of nightmare. And I just woke up and it just never happened. But it was a nightmare. It was the, it was the strangest fucking thing. I want to know if this is happening to anybody else because I feel like an insane person when I tell that story. Oh, because you are. Yeah, but I mean, I would like to know if there are others. I imagine so. That doesn't sound too like unreal. You know what I mean? That sounds like that could be pretty common. I do remember, I just had a thought, though,

like when I was, this was, damn, this was in, like, 2013, I wasn't that young. But it was just like, I went through a bad breakup, and because of the anxiety and, like, depression and that moment, right? I know, right. Fucking, sorry.

But, dude, my dreams were fucking crazy around that time. That was the weirdest shit, where I had an intense dream about the level where you fucking, beat sniper wolf in metal gear solid and like I was fucking like I was

so anxious and so like god like I don't want to get fucking sniped you know it was crazy it was so fucking crazy and you know what the fuck the thing is it looked exactly like PlayStation graphics like so it was like all fucked up and like blurry and shit like

because you know PS4 was already out by that time and so I was it was it was a really weird dream because like I don't necessarily consider a nightmare but it felt real even though it looked fake as shit. That was weird as fuck. I don't want to get fucking snipes. That's such a genuine plea.

That's a real plea. I don't want to get fuck. Especially my fucking sniper wolf, motherfucker holding a sniper at one fucking hand and walking around blasts the shit out of people. Like at least fucking get shot in the face by a revolver ocelot or something. I don't know.

It just seems getting sniped like just seems so that's so fucked up. man like it's just the you don't even see it coming and then you're dead like I just I hate that your head just fucking explodes yeah that's gotta be the craziest fucking way to die man like that is insane no imagine you're just on a date with your girlfriend and shit you know you're all talking and stuff your head blows up and you're like you know what do you know got to not care about it you got to not care about it because you care about it too much you're going to get shot too.

You got to happen. You gotta fall to the ground quick and then get out of there. In an episode recently we were talking about like head shots

and gears of war and like the sound of it. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026.

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as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic Bank. Ondek does not lend in North Dakota, all loans an amount subject to lender approval. So it prompted me to like redownload Gears 5 and like play through it. So I've been doing that and I'm just like damn, it's so satisfying.

It's so satisfying to just pop these fucking heads. It's so juicy. Like look, even just using the fucking handgun, I can't remember what it's called, but you just kind of like zoom in and just start shooting it until the, the, the, the,

the chattering one? The chattering one, right? The one that shoots like three-on-bursts. No, not the three-on-one, but just the,

the one that you get, just the, the, the stock one that you get, that you have. There's, there's, there's,

one is it a gna-gun or something? No, no, it's, so the first one that you get, the default one that has like a fast-fire rate, that's a snub.

Snub, snub, that's it, that's it. And then the second one, the proper hand cannon that Dom fucking, marks his wife with. awesome. That's a, that's a bull talk. Oh, I love that so much. That's fucking. They were fucking

he blows, he blows her head off and I laugh. That was like, dang, that sucks. Damn, you have no heart. I actually fucking was, that was actually real sad. Dude, at that point, you got to, son. I mean, look at her. He's like, ugh. She's fucking ugly. That bitch is broken, though. That's literally the only reason. He didn't even care about her being all like fucked up. It was the fact that she just looked gross. He was like, oh, I can't, fuck this anymore. I can't, I don't even want to fuck you. Damn it. Do it, Dom, do it. Dom,

don't think about it. I'm coming again, Dom. I'm squirting again, Dom. Quit, Dom. Dude, that fucking... He's just busting his panties. That scene would be so different if you heard that in the back.

I'm going to come again, Dom. You just saw it raining on them a little bit. He just saw it get fun of a little bit. God damn. It's so much that it's darker. The room is. darker because of how much water he's shooting out of his puts.

Hey, Marcus, you need to stop coming everywhere, eh? Hey, Holmes. It's not how Dom sounded at all. What are you doing, Marcus, man? You gotta chill out with that, man. You've been squirting for hours, fool. He doesn't even sound like that.

Marcus. Dom doesn't even sound Spanish. I didn't even like, I knew which Spanish as I looked at him. He's probably Spanish. He didn't even sound Spanish. It's like, oh, his name's Dominique. Oh, that makes sense.

His name is Dominic Santiago. Of course he's Spanish. But still, he's just, you know. He's an American. He's just a guy. He's an American man. But he's like, he's that type of, he's that type of guy. He's just always super American.

Well, he's really about, he's really about the truth of compromise. You know, people that he doesn't, he doesn't like ugly women. When things get a little bit tough, he kills himself, you know, straight up. That is a very male statistic. Dude, that's, that's, bro, I looked at that statistic and it's sad. It's a sadly high number, bro. It's a pretty staggering. It's a daintlessly high number.

Like, the male suicide rate is like, I think, like, twice the female or maybe three times. I was actually, yeah. Definitely, it's tons of folds. It's a lot of folds. Yeah, it's really scary. I was actually thinking of going for Halloween as the male suicide rate, but I couldn't figure out how to convey that. Just, you just use a bar graph. It's like a bar graph and you walk in.

It's just a bar graph that goes up. Excuse me. Excuse me. Would you have a moment to talk about the male suicide rate and how rampant it is in our society and how no one's talking about it? Not a soul. Not a soul. God. I would be, you can't come in this fucking party. You're like, he's the fuck out of it.

You can't step inside here. You're going to make every girl leave this party. Go home. Everyone's going to be fucking so dry. They're going to be anti-Marcus Phoenix. You know, get up. You don't go to parties to talk about statistical suicide rates? That's why I go to party.

That's the only reason I go. I bring my acoustic guitar and then I sing about him. Oh, you got a guitar, man? Oh, man, I don't really play, but. I love that. I got to go to the party. And he's like, oh, you got a guitar. He's like, yeah, I got a guitar.

I play a little bit. And then he goes wherever there's the most lit place he sits down and plays the guitar. And you're like, dude, what the fuck is your problem? I want to smash that shit I don't really I don't really I don't really play but like

I'll dabble and he starts noodling he starts noodling like fight through the fire and flames but he turns his head up he's like the male suicide

right in the United States is 50 times higher today than it was in the 1950s why do you think that is and it's like all the wet spots for the basic girls

just dry back up in their pants it just completely it just it just and everybody's like bro what the fuck are you talking about man give me a second

a second verse is going to really hit you um yeah anyway let's move on and $25 gets Nicky Ziggi her name read out loud

at the end of the show wrote in that's this person's name because Jesus fuck Christ if you had if you had to choose would you have the podcast

sponsored by LiveLeak Ben Shapiro or Nickelodeon. Consider the restraints each, consider the restraints each one would place on the content of the episode compared to different amounts they would pay.

Lively? That'd be legendary. That'd be legendary. That'd be a legendary collaboration. It'd be like when, it'd be like when, it'd be like when they gave Kanye and Nike work together

and they were like, yo, this is unbelievable. It'd be me and Lively. It'd be me like reaching out and grabbing the sun. It would be like, yo, we're going to put some fuck. We can't put it on YouTube. We would not be able to put that one on YouTube.

Sure, we could. We could sponsor. We don't have to show anything. We just have to be like, hey, you want to go someplace where you could see that senator blows brains out? You know the one I'm talking about. We've all seen it more than once. Yeah, we've all seen it more than once. We've seen that man's head turn into a fucking chocolate fountain.

Let's think about the place where we can go to see it. Well, LiveLeak is gone also. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it's gone. But now they have Hodesville TV. Oh my fucking God. Of course you know the alternative. I haven't, I've only been on there one time.

And I was the one time with the guy that, that, uh, Derek, don't go on there. I think you think you want to go on there, Derek, but don't go on there. I've never went on hoodsville on my computer. My main PC, I've never went on there. I'm like, I'll put on my VPN and then I'll check it out. All right. It's really, it's really bad, bro. That's why I saw the video of the guy, you know, finish himself and the dog walked in, like,

really mad like what the fuck's up with all this noise it was really God I hate man I can't even watch that shit dude it's really sad you know what I love though unironically still to this day still has not gotten old for me the stuff that is it will

always be funny this stuff on eFucked is top tier that EFuct is amazing that shit is the funniest fucking nonsense I have ever seen I recently saw on EFUKFUK video where they were somewhere in Latin America and they were fucking. And it was like, it was like, it was like it was a bar full of people. For some reason, it was too like younger people up there fucking this girl, right? One guy was getting her from the back. The other guy was getting a blowjob. And the guy I was going to blowjob came all over the guy that was hit her from the back. And he just kept fucking her. And I would be like, yo, everybody in the bar was cackling. And I would have lost. If someone, first of all, first of all, how to fucking fucking somebody in the middle of.

of a stage. In front of a ton of people. But then Troopers. He came on him and he didn't immediately go feral. If someone comes on me, that's it.

It's on. The person I am, for a few moments, I'm not going to be that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a, you're a, a super villain at that point.

That's your origin story. You bet that's your origin story. You got come down and then you're just your whole worldview change. I instantly become carnage. That's it. Like, oh, come on me. I'm Carnage. I'm Cleans Cassidy.

Everyone's a fucking victim now. I made a common book character very similar to that, actually. Oh my God, what's his name? Well, his name's, uh, I might, I feel like I might have mentioned this before. I don't know. But his name's pimping taco, all right? This was when I was 13 years old.

I made the whole product league thing. It was like the Justice League. Long story short, this fucking guy, he's radioactive. He fucking working at a taco stand. The pimps wants a taco. He's being rude. So the dude comes in his taco. Pimp eats it.

He's like, what the fuck? And then he turns all radioactive and he turns into a taco pimp. And he's, and now all he does is just hunt this guy for the rest of his life. And he's just trying to kill him. I wrote this when I was 13. He can't get away. He's fucking just,

he never, like, instead of, everybody else is like a superhero. And this guy is just trying to kill this other guy. That's the only thing that he's doing. And the other guy slips away every time, like Hitler and Danger 5. It's like, like Hitler in Danger 5. Like slightly. He just barely gets away every time.

That's basically what happens. Furious. He's like, I can't believe. I can't kill this one fucking taco stand working motherfucker. Why can't I kill him? Look, this is the last, this is the last issue I wrote. This is probably like issue four or some shit. It was like a comic little thing.

How he got away the last time he followed him up a fucking New York building, whatever is like, you can't fucking get away. The dude fucking comes really hard. Like, you know, he's just really fucking hard. and then it shoots up and hits the plane of a, it hits the wing of an airplane. And it fucking causes the, to collapse on the building.

And then there's this chaos. So then fucking, you know, then he eventually gets away that way. So, I thought he said he caused 9-11. He comes on a building. No,

he came on a plane. He caused 11. Yeah, he caught, he essentially, he didn't cause 9-11. That would have been too much. A teacher would,

I probably would have been fucking expelled because that happened the same year, I think. I think that was the same year. Dude, that's so funny because when I was in like, I think, I think elementary school I would draw comics too. And they were all so mean. Like it was just me and my friends and we had this one kid that we didn't like. I'm going to call him Carl for the sake of safety in case this kid's listening.

But every episode would just be all of us. I don't remember like what it was called. It was drawing like the South Park style because it was like the easiest thing for us to do and we were children. and right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current fca lessees get a low mileage lease on the 26 ramb 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for three sixty nine a month for thirty nine months with four thousand ninety nine due at signing tax title license extra no security deposit required call one eight seven seven seven ram five seven two two for lease details requires dealer contribution and lease through stilantis financial current vehicle must be registered to

consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify extra charge for miles over thirty two thousand five hundred not all customers will qualify residency restrictions apply Take delivery by 331. Cash flow crunch. OnDex's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat.

With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDEC or Celtic Bank. Undek does not lend in North Dakota all owns an amount subject to lender approval. It was just, every issue was just all of us killing this kid. That's so fucked up, dude.

Yeah, it wasn't like super, like he was like an alien who would come down and then he would like try to like take over the world and he would immediately get swatted into like every single bee that was that lived on the planet or something. Just like absurd. And I would get pretty like, like his eye would be like falling out of his head. It was pretty fucked out. Like, if anybody saw this shit, they'd be like, he's got a... He needs probably a doctor a little bit. Have you guys been, I'm keeping up with the evil versions of, like, the evil memes? Oh, yeah.

They take the memes and they refers them. My favorite time... I just got sent one. My favorite one so far is, um, is, uh, Evil LMFAO says every night I'm suffering. I love it. It seems like kind of a basic meme, but I appreciate it. It's pretty basic. I got one recently that was like, I'm evil.

Chris Reagan. I love Imagine Dragons or whatever. And I'm like, ah, even Will I M's, I got a feeling tonight's going to be a bad night. Because it's something funny about that. Those are a little better. This one. I just got one right here. It says evil Ronald Reagan be like, removes crack from minority neighborhoods. Yeah. There's another one where there's a ton of them. There's one that's like evil Drake. We'd be like started for the bottom and we're still there.

these are just such simple memes they're so stupid but that that's why they hit yeah yeah like I don't know like I have a there's something about my brain where if it's this simple comedy or just loud noises I laugh like loud noises just make me laugh

evil evil machine gun Kelly doesn't hit on children oh yeah that's right I totally forgot he hit on a Eminem's daughter I totally forgot about that That's how the beef started. I totally ran about that. She was 16 at the time.

Yeah. Oh, because I thought she was like my age. Well, yeah, she's an adult now. She's an adult now. He has two daughters. This was a while ago. He has another daughter? He has two daughters, I'm pretty sure.

I had no idea. Yeah, I don't know. I know. I know. I know. I think we, you know, Nickelodeon and Ben Shapiro notwithstanding. I think lively takes it. I think, yeah, for sure, of course.

All right, let's go. I don't know. Like, did you have a different, like, what did you think? Derek? No, I'm good. I'm good. I don't fuck with Live League, but if they're paying, you know, I'm fucking I'm on board. I'm fucking. If they pay, I'm fucking. Oh my fucking God. All right, let's, uh, let's see. What do we got here? We got so many questions. Like, I put every single question in this document. Let's fucking do it. Let's do it. Let's kill them. This is my, I put this in. I don't expect us to answer this. I just put it in because I thought it was hilariously written. I mined 500, Bitcoins. I mined 500 bitcoins using an N-Gage, Rodin. And he said, do you think animals be pedophiles?

Yeah, probably. Yeah, fucking, I don't know, whatever. Does he, no, what? I can't even, there means so much elaborate. Animals can't make consent laws. So, like, probably. You know what I mean? Like, there's probably, like, mosquitoes, I know, for example, absolutely are pedophiles because I learned over the over the weekend I was watching like some some documentary about mosquitoes because I hate them and I want to know more about them so I can destroy them but apparently like some mosquitoes wait for eggs to hatch like they wait over like over where like eggs are laid and then when the eggs hatch they immediately mate with like whatever the fuck comes out of the egg so that's like that's fresh out of the gate like that's

like immediate you know and there's not even like a moral brain now that's just like in that's an instinctive pedophile. If you wanted any more reasons to hate mosquitoes. There you go. That makes sense, right? The, like, the worst fucking bug on the planet is also a pedophile. That makes perfect sense. They really fucking suck, man. Like, I can't think... The worst. It's them and roaches, man. Literally can't respect either one.

Yeah. They don't do anything. They just exist. Yeah, but roaches don't kill you, though. You know what I mean? Well, they can spread disease. They, not in the way that, like, say, a fucking mosquito will give you sweet malaria just if you're in the wrong place. That is true. It's so, you got to drink that gross water. You got to drink that gross

water. You got to drink that gross water. I got to malaria. I forgot what it's called. You got to drink that because I tasted that water before. My friend was like, yeah, my grandma got this kind of water because she was like, oh, someone's sick. I was going to give it to them. And I drank it and I took like a solid gulp of it. And I kid you not, my face went white.

My face went white. And I just felt like, what is this? This isn't water. This is not regular Poland Springs. what is this? Who are you giving this to? It's a mosquito water, idiot. One of the most ironic things that makes me so happy

is that apparently there are smaller mosquitoes that feed off of mosquitoes that have recently fed. Which is awesome. Like, God, but they deserve, like, there is nothing worse than mosquitoes, and it serves, it makes total sense that they too would, you know, be susceptible to the fucking plight

that they fucking, cast on the rest of the world. I fucking man. Apparently, um, uh, I can't remember, was it,

Bill Gates was trying to, like he was making mosquitoes to kill the mosquitoes? Yeah, was it Bill Gates? I, let me look it up. You can keep talking, but let me look it up.

Yeah, I remember something about that where I was like mad respect because, look at me, I don't, I don't want to get religious at all, but I'm just like, how could you,

Like the things that exist on this fucking planet I'm like does it There's a really offset like rainbows and sunsets and shit You know people are like all these things these things are beautiful like bunnies and rainbows and sunsets like I'm in awe of our creator But then there's you know cancer mosquitoes Oh my god I think I think the good things outweigh the bad things definitely in nature do you? Absolutely I don't know if I agree necessarily a hundred percent

Feeling nature is almost entirely bad. No, it's not. It's a very optimistic point of view, but I feel like... It's ultimately bad. It's a pretty vicious cycle, though. I mean, it's unforgiving. If, like, if you're not, like, smart and savvy and, like, protect yourself. Like, everything will destroy you.

It's kind of beautiful. It's kind of beautiful. It will kill you if you're in the forest. You know, just killing that lady, like, talking, like, fucking out the wild pig. Yes. The people don't understand that wild pigs are, like, crazy dangerous. Wait, what do you mean? That show was fucking hilarious.

You didn't see that pig. Fuck this bitch up. Look, it's a wild pig, you know. Luckily, you didn't have tusks. But like... Yeah. Is that the one when like the pig's walking up casually? And then right and then it smack.

It's fucking great. I love how casual it is at first. It's like, I'm gonna fuck this bitch up. You got to put that video in the chat. I haven't seen it. But I found the article, by the way. It says genetically modified mosquitoes released in U.S. to fight disease-carrying species.

Let's go Remember old people Were getting killed by fucking West Nile and shit You remember that? That shit was real bro West Nile was having an effect On people, dude

I loved it I mean I know Man that's unfortunate I loved it Oh damn bro Oh shit Dude that's crazy I like that

The only good thing about West Nile Was that that was kind of a dope-ass name For a virus I don't know I just kind of like It sounds like It sounds like a like a group, you know?

It does. That's all kind of like West Nile. Yeah. Like there was like a band that came out. I was like, hey, we're West Nile. Like,

it sounds pretty good. Like, honestly. Yeah, I'll check it out. That's how I felt about the whole, when the first time I ever heard of Latinx or Latinx, I thought that was a fucking band, like legitimately. I was like,

who's Latinx? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. We're Ebola. Yeah. Ebola in the building. Let's go. is getting pop and yo we're gonna make you bleed out your ass and eyes have you heard that stupid song that was circling around ebola don't touch your friends did those like some stupid

it's don't touch your friends yeah dude he ever seen the meme there's a meme when you bring that up it was like where there's a bunch of black people talking about covid and they're like it's a fucking virus man obviously it's viral and then the guy's like yo niggas stop touching people with your fucking head dude I'm touching niggins with your head. I did see that video. That video is so, oh my God, man. Misfortune is makes for the funniest shit, dude.

It's just so perfect. You type in Ebola and YouTube, the first thing that comes up is Ebola song. Oh, gross. Ebola, Ebola. It's not even fucking African. All right. Ebola, Ebola.

All right, what's the next? Yeah, let's move on. Since we're still, we're going to stick with the theme of, it being kind of spooky month because why not? Okay. But Nikki Ziggy, hey, wrote in.

Hello, Gunther, Sween King, and Derek. I recently watched Nightmare on Elm Street as it is a classic horror movie that I've never seen. And it was dog shit. I was so bored and I have no idea why it's a classic when it sucked so damn hard. This question isn't directed at Chris

since he isn't cultured in movies. What is your opinion on horror movies? And do you have a favorite or least favorite classic? Personally, I love the original Halloween and it's fantastic soundtrack. Nicky Ziggy, thank you for you. I got it. Halloween soundtrack goes fucking hard.

That soundtrack is amazing. That's the... Soundtracks... Soundtracks don't... I feel like soundtracks, you know, sometimes it's like, oh, that's the only good thing that came out of the movie.

That's how I feel a lot of times. It's a bit of a crutch a lot of the time. But for me, my favorite horror movie is either I love Insidious, but that's more of a modern one. I love that movie. I don't see that movie is so funny, but it's not supposed to be funny, so definitely I know people like, when I bring it up, they're like, I don't want to watch with you because you're just going to laugh the whole time instead of like watch the movie the right way.

Yeah. But you can't though. Like, I can't. How do you watch, like horror is one of those things that this, the suspension of disbelief is so fucking difficult. Yeah. it's so hard to where I can't I can't enjoy most of them you have to assume because in horror all it takes is people probably being like a little more attentive and smart and then like that's why the best horror but one of the best horror movies is Exorcist because Exorcist it's nothing they don't do anything wrong like bad shit just starts happening to them you know and that's what makes that movie like a little better than most it's cool it is like I barely considerate horror, you know, in the way that like, I don't, I mean, I'm sure it was scary to a lot of

people, but it's really entertaining. Like, the way that it was done. Yeah. It's a well-shot movie. I would say that. It's definitely a horror movie, though. A hundred ten percent it's a horror film. It is a horror movie, but what I mean is, like, say, with, like, say a lot of times with horror, there's, like, a lot of death or, or something, some spooky shit happening to people, or not in the way that, obviously there's the exorcist that they're being fucked with, But I don't know. I'm just thinking of like the, your, your Friday the 13th, your fucking Halloween's, your fucking nightmare on Elm Street. Like, it's all, there's all a bunch of fucked up shit happening.

And Exorcist was like, simplistic, which I like, I like that. I like when people can kind of take a very small concept and be like, we're going to really make something out of this where it's like, wow. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But horror movies in general, though. Oh, Rosemary's baby. Yeah. I think movies amazing personally.

Yeah. I love rules. I don't, I'm... I like... Wait, what do you got, Chris? What do you got? Um, I don't know, man. I think, um...

When I think, I'm not really that into horror in general. Like, I'm already, like, pretty lack of... Like, my... The amount of movies that I've seen that I can recall are very small. Like, I don't know.

Like, they don't stick with me as much as video games for some reason. Yeah. But, when I think of, like, horror movies that I'd love, light. I think of like evil dead and the thing specifically. I think the thing might be my favorite

horror movie. If it is a hard movie. Because that's like... Well, I know it's unfortunate but it is basically among us at this point, which is like really fucking depressing because it is about like an alien imposter. But yeah. That's like genuinely an amazing movie. Not only because

like the time it was made. Also Keith David's in that movie. Is he really? He's child. He's the black guy that's survives. I know, right? I haven't seen it in a long time. The thing, Keith David. Keith David, look at that all comes back. You guys got to understand that Keith David is in everything. Wow, yeah. Yeah, he's just a fucking kid, man. Everything that's good. He's in it. It'll keep your good, you're, I guarantee you, you're never going to stop finding him in shit.

That's amazing. It's never going to stop. Like, you're going to, if you look at his IMDB, it's fucking, it's like 70 pages. It is crazy long. One of the most religious experiences I ever had was like one of the flights either. Like I was I was like flying either to New York from L.A. or, you know, to L.A. from New York. I can't remember which one. But I was on the plane and I was next to this woman who was watching some weird Western movie. And I was like, I looked over and I was like, oh, and it was just some dude in a cowboy hat.

And then it cuts to Keith David. And I was like, no fucking way is this happening. I think I remember I told you about it. I think I might have mentioned it on the show. but yeah I think the thing is fucking awesome man like the special the special effects in the thing

the original the one with Keith David in it I can't remember like what year that was I think it's like a 70s movie but the special effects in that movie fucking hold up like crazy well because it's all practical and like done with like really good lighting and just like no CG

because they couldn't do that right but it somehow doesn't feel dated like it's like a really moderate feeling movie like honestly uh well that's why like i appreciate like when you look at uh fucking um alien and stuff yeah when you like in the and the fucking the the prop and the and the practical effects of that it's so it's still when you look at it

like god that looks so fucking good like that like that that fucking scene with the saguerie weaver when that it's right in front of her fucking face and she's like eh like that that's so fucking like that shit still looks like it's still satisfying to see it's still satisfied It reminds me of the fucking in Spider-Man too, the fact that like all the arms were actual like puppets that were like maneuvered by people. Yeah.

And shit like that. I just recently saw somebody do the behind the scenes where he's like dancing and shit with them. Yeah. People are like clapping. It's awesome. But like it translates. Because like there are close up shots in Spider-Man too like when of like him with the arms.

And it's like that looks. Right now with Ram truck's declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. RAM,500 Big Horn crew cab 4x for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM-RAM-5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial.

Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. Cashflow crunch? On Deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds Up to $200,000, right when you need it.

Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondek or Celtic Bank. Ondek does not lend in North Dakota all loans an amount subject to lender approval. Fucking incredible still. And you can tell when it cuts the CG like later.

on during the 5thens, it's like, ah, that's unfortunate, but like, those practical arms look so fucking cool. I'm so excited to see those. I know they're not practical in the new one. Yeah, it's all CG now. They're probably gonna, they might have to do something about practicality because of how like... No, they already said that.

They already talked about it. Yeah, they confirmed it's all CG. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. It's gonna be, I mean, CG's way better now, though, so like, whatever. Right. If they put money into it, it'll look fucking fine. Yeah, just don't black panther it and it'll be it'll be fine. Just black panther.

Dude, for real, though, that's so sad. That scene is real. Like, I like Black Panther. I think Black Panther is, like, a fine, like, movie. Like, it's, you know. It's okay. It's good. But, like, that, that, that, that, that C.G.

in that last fight is fucking unreal. Like, it, it. Oh, no, no. When him and, uh, fucking, I don't know. Kilmonger are fighting. Yeah, when they're fighting in, like, the underground place. Oh. And it looks like PlayStation 2 graphics.

It's, it's, it's, it just stopped giving it anymore, buddy. they like like we're good you already got too many you already got too many niggas here right we can't afford anything else we got all the most expensive niggas in the world in this movie all right we can't do this

dude that show is crazy I mean they I mean at least god what the fuck are they didn't do in the next one yeah what do they do how are they gonna make sure do they're gonna do they have to like rewrite the entire fucking script I mean

or did they already have one because I'm assuming he told Chadwick told them that oh low key I'm dying you know I'm assuming he told his bosses I actually I think he kept it a secret actually no one knew I know he kept it a secret from the world but it's like wouldn't you

tell your boss is like oh by the way I might not be around for the next fucking movie well put it put it this way you get you have I don't know you have brain hemorrhaging cancer and AIDS or whatever let's say something you have like some fucking crazy thing

it's gonna kill you in the next few years and then Disney comes up to you And they're like, hey, we're going to give you millions of dollars and you're going to be in, you're going to be an iconic superhero for millions of people. Good point. You're not going to tell him. You're not going to tell him.

You're not going to tell you. I'm fine. I'm like, wow. I can't wait to work with you for a long time. Long time. Six sequels. I can't wait to essentially become immortal now as long as you need me to because I'm going to work as long as I can.

Yeah. That's a good point. And maybe he also thought he could beat it too. So, I mean. Yeah. I mean, another reason why he probably didn't say, anything. He looked really bad in his last days though. It was very sad. Yeah, right? And that sucks that like no people were just clowning on him because they didn't know. But I mean,

how could I don't even feel bad because like I don't like like like a shame on you type of thing. How the fuck the people didn't know? They thought he was just points of 50 cent. Yeah. Even something I was trying to like fucking remember that shit? Oh my God. He was so thin. He was like, I'm going to win an Oscar. Go show. And then nothing happened. Yeah. Even just. Um, I don't know that you crazy. how big 50 cent is because he said he only goes to the gym like twice a week.

That's a fucking lie. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude? Like that, you must eat great. That's the fucking lie. There's no, there's no point to it. Like, what a fucking liar. He's just lying. I mean, God name is writing on a God could happen,

but it's just like, what the, like, what? No, man. Let's, let's. Because he was, he was jacked well before he even was like slightly famous. He was just a big dude. He was making, There's a lot of, but the idea of like, oh, I only work out fucking twice a week.

Unless he's just saying I only go to the gym and then behind the scenes, he's at home fucking, you know. He got shot a couple times. They probably like rewired some stuff, you know. They gave him nano fucking peck. He got shot more than a couple times, Chris. I think he has the record for the most shot and not dying on a person, probably. No, that's not true. I'm sure he's up there, though.

Jack Black got shot 64 times. Shut the fuck up. You say stupid shit sometimes, bro. Like, what? On the set of Nacho Libre, they filmed it in Mexico, and the cartel shot him 64 times. And he's... You don't imagine. He's totally fun.

Because they all shot him in the same exact place. All the bullets went in the exact place. Yeah, they just kept passing through the same fucking... Yeah, they kept passing the same... He's got, like, if you ever see, that's why Jack Black doesn't wear shorts anymore. Because he's got like a... He's got a hole in his calf that it's... You can put like a rod through it.

Yeah, it just never closed. They just can't close now because how much sense he's been shot there? All the cells there are dead is necified. That makes perfect sense. That's why it was in Jumanji, duh. Jack Black was not in Jumaji, but yes he was. Was he really? Yes, he was.

Yeah, the fucking rock Jumonji. Oh, right. Okay. The original. Obviously, that's not Jumanj. Nigel Forger. He was the monkey kid. He was the monkey kidd.

He wasn't Yeah, it was him All right Let's move on He was the monkey kid All you do is look pretty And then you fuck They call me

Too Short Baby Rodin They said Hey y'all Mississippi girl here It's my birthday month October 21st So I'm hoping That my question will be read

What are your favorite Horror movies and friends Oh I should have read that With the other one What are your favorite Horror Movies and franchise That you still watch this day Mine is scream

Call me cliche but I was in junior high Windows came out and it's a bit nostalgic Yeah I can understand that We kind of answer this Fucking gay but I get it I totally get it Scream's pretty

I like the mask though I like I like ghost face I mean come on it's that's iconic It is iconic I like those movies but it just Like well scream The main character that girl That makes a lot of good decisions

She makes a ton of good decisions So I fuck with her Sidney Sidney Sydney Sidney Sidney Hello hello Sydney I'm gonna fuck your ass

I tried to watch Friday 13th and I'm not Friday 13th that one is you can't beat that nigga I think it's invincible but I try to watch a Halloween white and it's like yeah why doesn't someone just pull up on him while he's doing something with a gun and is blow the back of his head off Here's the thing though and look it look it man I'm not gonna watch this movie and this shit's out I guess There's clips everywhere did you see the clip where the clips no yes The clips with the door this fucking chick right she's in like a nurse costume I think Yeah. And she's like blasting.

For some reason, Michael Myers is in a car just chilling. He's in like a low rider just bumping. And fucking this shit pulls up and starts, shoots him, shoots at him in the car six times. With the last shot, motherfucker kicks the door,

pushes the door and it hits the gun and it shoots her fucking self. She shoots herself because the fucking gun, the car door hit the gun. It's the, Do you, I haven't, I'm going to send it to you right now on Twitter, dude, because it is incredible. It's so fucking funny. It like twists around in her hand and shoots at her face. She somehow shoots herself.

Did she shoot him? She tried. She tried and I'm telling you that he was just fucking just doing some gangst shit and nothing happened. I mean, she's just a nurse. It's like the least respectable career person could have. So she's not super. Is she actually a nurse or is it in the Halloween? Oh, I said, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. She looks like a fucking Power Ranger. What the hell is this shit? She's like, All I'm saying is this, dude. Let someone get captured.

You know, like, if it's happened to say with us, right? Let me get captured. I'll be trying to wrestle them off me. And then one of you guys come with a fucking knife right in the back of the vertebrae. That's it. He's down.

We get frying pans. We flatten his head. I'm pretty sure, like, people have done so much bullshit to him that I'm like, he's going. It's like, yo, he's white male rage. Yeah. Isn't he also just a guy? Like, isn't that the story?

Like, he's not like a supernatural. I have no idea. Is he? He's just some angry white man, bro. That doesn't make sense, though. He's been like, he's never really, like, excited me in any real way to go see him.

Angry white man, bro. I've seen the first ones, I think. I was going to watch H-2O Halloween 20 years later, and I'm like, ah, I'm good. And then they kept going. I was like, oh my God, this chick, what's her name again? The main chick?

Jamie Lee Kerriss? Jamie Lee Kerr? Yeah, I was like, I can't believe she's still doing this. Like, I'm, I'm shocked. Like, it's got to be some sort of record. Like, like, she's almost, she's probably, like, just neck and neck with, with Hugh Jackman and Wolverine.

Like, as far as, like, playing a fucking character? Probably, shit. Who else has been playing the fucking characters as long? Who else? It's, no, I know, it's her. She definitely, that movie came out in, like, the 80s. And it's like 2000 fucking, like, 20, what, 21? This, this bitch.

been at it for a while. You've been to have a long time, right? Is Nightmare on Elm Street the one where at the end, the woman is like standing on her porch and she gets pulled through that little hole in the door? That scene is so fucking funny to me. Like, I can't. It looks like a blow-up dog getting savagely like, have you seen that video the monkey taking the banana from that guy? Yeah. And the way is so pissed.

Dude, the, the expression of that fucking monkey is so fucking mad. Dude, the expression of that fucking monkey is so human when it gets his second arm in there and it's like wrestling it away from that guy. It is the most- He got it and he shook it. Why didn't even eat it? It's great because he's so mad. He's like, I don't even fucking want it anymore. That wasn't the, when the shaking, the violent shaking wasn't even the funniest part of me. To me, it was like when he went like this, he went.

Dude, it's so violent. The expression on his face and everything. It's such a human feeling. My monkey was upset, dude. I love that video. I love how mad he was. Hey, I sent you that on that clip. Did you see it?

I sent you that clip on Twitter. You got to watch it so you can... So you can be on board. Oh, I think I see you the wrong one. No, I see it's the right clip, but somebody added something to it that made it even better. Someone added some fucking... Like, they added a drop to it that made it better. Oh my fucking god

I can't stand these people I can't, yo, she fucking It's a good clip That's so stupid You guys should definitely watch that clip of Halloween Of the nurse getting fucking Mirked by her own gun

Michael Myers gets out of the fucking out of the car and stuff And then he just like He wipes off his collar and shit like that And adjust his fucking jumpsuit Where the hell he wears I remember when Buster Rimes beats on his ass. Buster Rimes kills him, actually.

Oh, yeah, I forgot they were in a movie together, right? H-2-O, he kills him. I mean, clearly he didn't kill him. Well, no, he died. But they restarted. He got restarted. He got restarted the continuity. So ridiculous.

Did he wrap him to death? Like he was rapping so fast that Buster, that Michael Biles just died? He just, I can't take it. He's too white. He died. Oh, yeah. Blow.

You know what? actually is kind of entertaining, I will say, like, uh, fucking, I enjoyed the reboot of the Texas Chainsaw Massacres. There was like two of them in the, in the mid-2000s. There was a, there was one before that, too. There was one just a Texan saw the first one. It begins, which was a prequel. Uh, which I, I enjoyed them because it reminded me of like, if you played Resident Evil 7, it basically, it's that. Like, the Begins one, it's really, it was, I enjoyed them. They're kind of fun. All right.

Because they weren't trying to scare you. It was just like, oh my God, these are psychopaths. You know, like, I like that. All it's, sorry. For me, just, why don't people have guns? Like, everyone just makes such bad decisions. That's what bothers me. It's like, everyone just does such stupid shit in those movies.

They're just like, I want you all to die. I want you to die. Yeah. I remember there was this one movie called like Contagion or something, something like that. And it was like just like zombie virus or whatever the fuck. And there's this scene where like there's this woman who like, I guess like lost her daughter or whatever, and she gets like entranced when they're like, uh, they're going through this empty house, like, trying to scavenge for, like, food or equipment or, like, gasoline or some

shit. I don't really remember. But she goes into this room that has a crib in it and she gets, like, transfixed on it. And she goes in, like, she walks in. She doesn't check the corners of the room. And there's a fucking zombie in the corner of the room that she doesn't look. And it's like, oh, well, fucking, you're an idiot. Like, I can't, I can't watch this anymore because they don't care.

I don't care what happened. You don't deserve to live. You don't deserve to live, you know, like, yeah. Was that? Fucking Don of the Dead. I think I was on the Dead. Dawn of Dead is great. That's a great movie.

I think that was Don in the Dead, the one with Vin Reims in it. Or like there was that crib scene when that that that? Because I think Contagia is just that boring virus movie. You know, no. That has Lawrence Fishburn in it. For Dawn to the Dead is the mom gives birth to the baby. And she's a zombie. And then they kill the baby.

Oh, is that what I'm thinking? I thought like, I remember. Okay, it's something. But contagion, though, I know it's that. It's that movie that came out in like 2011 that everybody started watching when the fucking pandemic. cabin? Yeah. That was just a boring one. It's just like a natural

disaster type movie like no fucking zombie. I don't I don't remember what the fuck. I don't remember what it was like something like that like in infection or like it had like a shun at the end of it. That's it. It's a shitty movie. It's not worth scouring the internet to find. Gotcha.

That spider that crawls in your mouth while you sleep rod in. He says hello my wait what the fuck. All right. Let me reread that. Jesus. The spider that crawls into your mouth while you sleep, wrote in. And he said, I have been posting questions

for the last six months now and only been noticed once. If this question isn't read, I'll make you past tense. My question is for Sweeney now. My question is for Sweeney. Now that you've had some time playing Mass Effect Legendary Edition,

who is your favorite romance option? P.S. I watch you in your sleep. Oh, just ignore that last part. Garris? Garris? Yeah, Garris? Garris. I'm too.

Garris, you played a female shepherd? No, I play his male shepherd. I fuck Garris. No, my favorite, my favorite,

um, is, uh, it's, uh, I forgot her name. Well, I dare you.

The blue girl, her name. Leara? Liarah's my home girl, she's fucking canon, though. The developer's kind of pushing you towards her. Oh,

they definitely push you towards her, but like, I like Leara a lot. She got her, I would fuck her mom if, I could her mom has those big blue tinnies matriarch banezia dude matrilynezzan got the biggest bluest dude when you become when you become a fucking matriog your tits explode like I don't know what the hell that's all about biggest it's a good race ever seen in my life bro it's a good race it's a very

good race it's a very good race like dude they all look like sexy women like there's no fucking dudes there's not a single man when they become about like 900 years old their tits expand Like that's a fucking good race This is a solid choice It's a solid choice of a fucking creature It's like very very solid It's like when you're playing D&D and you pick elf It's like this solid choice

It's good Overall nothing's wrong with this race Like the sea in the dark I get the move a little bit quicker Everything's fine Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals Well qualified current FCA lessees Get a low mileage lease on the 2026

Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500.

Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. Cashflow crunch? On-Dex small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently.

Apply today at on deck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. On Deck does not lend in North Dakota, all loans an amount subject to lender approval. It's like when you think about the, like, Leara and, oh my God, we're really? they called again? I don't remember. Yeah, it's like, it just left my head. Oh my God.

Because for some reason, the Slarians, the Slarians, Toreans, the, oh my God, I can't believe where I forgot. That is crazy. I totally forgot it too. That's crazy. I should know what they are, too. I've recently played a game. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. When it's red. The second season, Asari. Asari. Asari. How the fuck did I forget that? I was close You were close to what you see

Yeah you were close But yeah like It seems like some That race Like if you if you were to think of like Some horny teenager Like that's like how you would make an alien race Like how the assari were made

Yeah They got tentacles They're fucking There's no girls There's no guys Sorry Yeah Yeah

It might have been a little Freudian right there But Hey man He got What you hope for you know But are there any male turians, not turians, what are they called? I'm sorry?

No, what's the name of the, what's grunts race again? Krogan. Other female Krogan's? You meet one, right? Yeah, you meet, you meet a couple. You meet a female, turn. You meet one in the second one, she's pretty, she's actually extremely important to the game, and then you meet

a third one. No, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm getting my shit fucked up. I think you only meet one in the third game. And she has fucking clown shoes on. She has clown shoes on in the and uh if you if you remember because you know like if you look at like say all of their feet they it's just armor so it's covered like you know their three prong they have three toes or whatever but for some reason that chick that's like her name's like shaman or whatever the fuck her name is um uh she surrendered her name um yeah she has clown shoes on

she has fucking goofy shoes or soros shoes or whatever yes and they look fucking stupid the fuck, they're like crocs. Put it in a true group chat. I gotta see this. If you just Google female Krogan Mass Effect, uh,

it's in, it's in like the first page of Google images. It's like maybe like the second row. But you could see them. Like they stick out because you can see like the, the alien looking feet

in most of them and then this one where it really is fucking cracks. I was like, dude, what are these fucking shoes? What the fuck? Why does she have those? that is really

fucking funny I don't know why they chose those fucking shoes I love that you remembered this fucking detail because it's so fucking wacky it's so fucking like they could have just gave her the same

type of shit that they gave the other like the people that are in armor and stuff and I guess she's just wearing not armor like regular Krogan clothes but even those people aren't wearing fucking clown shoes like but she

She is for some reason. That is so fucking funny. Rogan's a fucking hard to deal with, man. I remember fighting my first Krogan and freaking Mass Effect one in a tower, and he was just, he was just not a dope. He was just not, everybody else was like, oh, putting these guys down. And then that Krogan came out. And he was just like not playing. I was like, whoa, dude.

That is so goddamn funny. All right. Let's move on. Holy shit. I love FOV sliders, road. this is about music he says hey Jerry George and Kramer what is the perfect

wait what is a perfect or your favorite incorporation of a song in any movie TV show or game like tequila in Sandlot for example you already know what it is oh I don't know what I need a hero

and fucking strike too man that's perfect damn yeah it is a great one it's a really it's like there's nothing wrong with that that is a perfect example really that's a really good one It's hard to beat. Not going to lie. For me, the first thing that comes to mind is a recent thing from a game that I have not played yet.

I don't even think it's out. I think it's only the demo is out. But I don't know if you guys saw this. I don't even know, I don't even remember if we talked about this on the podcast. But there's a Final Fantasy game where the main character, it's like a prequel. What is it? It's like the villain's story from Final Fantasy 1 or some shit. I don't know, whatever.

But the character is given some information. and he says, bullshit. And then he pulls out his phone and then he starts playing what really sounds like limp biscuit for no reason

as he turns and walks away slowly. And then it fades to black and then it fades back in to him shutting the phone off and turning to his friends going like, we have to go kill chaos. Or like, whatever the fuck. It is the strangest

fucking thing I have ever seen. I've not seen that If you look up Final Fantasy Limp Biscuit the clip is like Everywhere it is the funny It's not Limp Biscuit but it sounds a lot like him And it's the funniest fucking shit I've ever seen All I have to say is that Tetsu Nomura

Needs to no longer be hands on when it comes to video games Yeah He needs to just step back He doesn't know what he's doing anymore Give it a fucking rest Take a step back Jack says bullshit Like him and CoGIP plays on his phone

Have done great things Now sit down and watch the rest of the world make games while you guys just watch. No, I disagree. I think I think Kojima needs to still be doing things. Nah, he doesn't. He definitely does. I think he needs to instruct people. He can give ideas.

He can see it. Storyboard. No, no, no, no. Because here's the difference between Kojima and Nomura and even like people like the guy who created Sonic, right? The guy who created Sonic, you know, God, God bless him. You know, he contributed a lot to the gaming industry, whatever. And then he made fucking Balin Wonderworld. That fucking thing where there's only one button

and it does the same thing as every other button. That's a travesty, right? Nomura, his stories are just fucking way too stupid. Nobody enjoyed Kingdom Hearts 3. It was like a fucking mess. Death Stranding. Death Stranding is a weird fucking game. and a lot of people don't like it

but that is a like a game that reviewed very well and a very like solid like thing that exists there's artistic merit to the stranding where it there does not exist any artistic merit in fucking kingdom hearts three or fucking balin wonder world

you don't think there's no key but you don't think there's artistic merit in Final Fantasy seven uh I mean I think there's a ton that game's great no I think there is but like a lot of that is just groundwork that was already there Like he's just remaking a story that was already great. And in fact, a lot of people have a lot of problems with the additions to that game.

So it's like... Oh, they're dumb. Those people are stupid. Well, I don't know. They're stupid. But, um, but like, I think, like, I think what they did for him when seven was right. They were like, hey, you're involved. You can, you can point us around.

You're not writing anything. You're not writing anything that happens. You'll just tell us like, hey, would Cloud do this? And he's like, yeah. And it's like, all right, cool. Go back in the shed. Yeah. That's it.

Nothing more because he's old and he's crazy now. The thing with Kojima is that he makes games that like aren't necessarily. I can't. Did you or Derek? Wait, what did you say? Derek? Sorry.

Oh, no, I'm just doing. I'm like a limbiscuit soundboard right now. I keep going. No, I was just saying like, I think the things that Kojima does,

like even some of the stuff that like, like Metal Gear Solid 4 is a game that I fucking hate. I hate that game. I think that is one of the, I fucking despise it. Right? I like I like four more than I like five but I like four more than like five because at least four stories a coherent metal gear solid story opposed to five story is just a nightmare of a video I just I just don't like playing that game at all it is like one of the least fun video games I think I've ever played but I don't like being old snake it's awful I don't like old man snake I don't like anything I don't like it's fucking

he's not physically old though he just looks old pretty much well he is physically old because he's fucking that's how his DNA works but he's not like enabled like he's him being old doesn't affect him he's just still doing his. No no it does. Dude his back fucking hurts he's still doing the game. He's still doing shit. He's still doing shit. But you have to but you understand what I'm saying it's

I know what you're saying there's whatever keep going the the experience of constantly having to see old man snake is grating and annoying I it's it's like a very unpleasant audio visual treat to constantly have to suffer through.

But that's a game, but what I'm saying is like, that's a game that I really don't like. But I would say that that is a, probably a good video game. You know, like, and that has a lot of merit to it. Middle Gear Solid 3 is a game that I don't like nearly as much as Metal Gear Solid 2. But that game has merit to it. Death Stranding is a game that a lot of people don't like either. But I think that's a game that has a lot of merit to it. Ballin Wonderworld

does not have Mara goat If I'm gonna be real I'm gonna be real I don't think The only good Sonic games Are the Sonic games That are on Game Boy Advance

And like the first three Like there's no Sonic games aren't good video games Oh wow that's an interesting to I don't like I really like Sonic and Knuckles man Oh yeah And that's one of the earlier games Yeah.

Before they left the second dreamcast, it was a good game franchise. It needed to stop big. That's what happened to fucking Mega Man X, bro. That's what happened to Mega Man X. They fucking did the same fucking thing. Hey, man X was cool, but it made it 3D. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26.

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Dakota all loans an amount subject to lender approval damn when they did i was like what the fuck i played it and i was like what the fuck is this shit then they made another one after that i couldn't believe it i was like who's buying this shit who fucking yeah they made an x-8 dude like where seven i played it i was like this game. I don't even remember if I beat it. Is X6? Is X6 the one you play at zero finally? Yes, yes. Okay, that's X6. That's the one I thought

Yeah, 7 is when it goes 3D and I was like, what the fuck? I was just, it was just so weird. It felt like fucking the Sonic shit, all that. There were so many X games, bro. There were so many Mega X games, like repeated, like, rapid fire. Dude, I am, the X4, X5 has one of the best

like, it has, because you fight zero in it. That has, it's, that's the, X versus zero. If you look up that fucking soundtrack, God damn, that shit is fucking amazing. Just saying. We should get off of this topic because I don't want the Sonic Twitter account

coming after us because they're, they're really vicious. I think we're, fuck them all up. I think we're, I think we're done. I think we've reached our time. So, thank you guys for listening.

if you like what you heard today please consider supporting us over at Patreon.com slash the snark tank $1 month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes $5 gets you a question read on the show $10 gets you access to our Discord server that's one payment and you're in for good

$25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show which I will now do Nikki Ziggi as always is for some reason absent I don't know what's wrong with Patreon but yeah so uh fucking count me in three two one Avi I became a patron

and spent 25 bucks to tell Sweeney his bisexual slash homosexual hot take is without a doubt the worst take I've ever heard. That's an entire person's name. That person, you just paid me to eat to say that. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. You paid my rent saying that. Thank you.

In fairness. You're also right. Yeah, it turns out most people agree. But that's that's that. That's, you know, that's that episode. It's the head of the past, baby. What the fuck? You look like you're gonna been a piss. It's like you're in a world of piss. Derek, Daddy, protecting

my by ass from the mean-sween machine. Duncan, master of all things, cute and furry. Funny. Let's go. Wage slave, 583, the half gay that can only say half the F word. Stout. Ah. Does Sandman come sand to avoid unwanted predancies dead inside? I got it right. time. Arcane Furukawa. Sorry for crashing your Halo 3 customs.

I just wanted a gravity hammer jakey. Shrincus Finkel dunk, the warlock who is using transversive steps. And $25 gets Nikki Ziggy, her name, read at the end of the show. Notfest, the Slipknot Fest. Wait, Not Fest is Slipknot Fest. It was a furry joke, you cretans. Listen, I don't know what that means. He who nuts loudest and last ain't right because United We Stand, United We Come.

the immortal words of the council of come. I challenge the other Conner King to a fight to the death. There can only be one. Parapologics aren't people because people are bipedal. Roller skater, the bipolar masturbator, Grubin's sucking history's fat cock.

I called the Coast Guard to save my anal virginity. Chris Reagan, more like Chris Racism. The Kualoo shot from half court. Ryber 525 in the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation. Jack King Hoff. Racist snake.

For my peripheral, I thought you were a Spider-Man villain or something. Derek, that was really weird. You look terrifying, dude. You look like a deep-fried Morpheus. You're a deep-fried nightmare. Neil, it's so fucking hot. Neo, help me.

He'll be a fucking burning. You look like, you look at that scene of fucking, what is it, Arnold's, not Arnold's horse singer. That dude in that in total recall, when he, like, goes on the surface of the fucking of Mars or whatever, and his head starts exploding. Was it Arnold? Yeah, when his eyes were like,

and he's making those retarded noises and shit. Yeah, yeah, it's totally him. I don't know. I've never actually seen that movie. I've only seen that part. Have you ever seen a fuck? Oh my God, I forgot. Keep reading the names.

Ten hours of spawn saying, Mabozia is a relaxing sound for stress relief, meditation, deep sleep. Racist snake. Dom, I'm squirting Dom. Best name. Ever growing library of Marasov food of porn. Tell him Steve.

Hif and Dave. Chris Ray Gunn, more like cringe gay come. When life gives you come, make cum a maid. Tubercularized Arthur Morgan. Andre Brooks, the guy after me is gay. Don't let him tell you otherwise. Not gay Ben. I'm not gay. No, really. I'm not. Seriously, I swear to you, I'm not. You have to believe me.

Derek would fuck the shit out of God to kill him. Bears, if I was an animal, I'd be a bear. They're cute. They're cute. Dear Lord, I'm going to hell for this. John Strickland. Merck's 1889. Yes, Derek. It counts as bestiality if you want to fuck Tally Zora. When in doubt, spooge it out. The first church of Keith David, Renegade Highway Tires. Just want to hug your face at high velocity.

Sammy and his big titty fishy ever since I can remember I've been popping my collar drunken Doolahans Free rise Free rise You guys see my teeth You guys see my tea Oh my god

You look like Racism You look like the little nightmares game Doug Dimm a dumbass A tiny Asian who's cock is massive in relation to his body But small in relation to regularize people A cum man the man of cum Blake 896

Bpa blah blah Down Uncle Bend Down downed Uncle Ben has the martyrdom perk. Oh my God. Fuck. Can you imagine Uncle Ben dies in Spider-Man and his grenade falls out of his pocket and kills everyone? That would have been amazing.

He kills Peter. He kills Peter when he's fucking Uncle Ben. Bay. Peter. I'm sorry, Peter. I forgot to unequipped martyrdom, Peter. Boom. Immediately as soon as he says that he blows up.

I'm not leading. side, Uncle Ben. That's not real. That's Call of Duty. You've been playing called duty for too long. He croaks a grenade rolls out of his hoodie. He doesn't have the time. He doesn't have the time to fix the world. He's like, oh no, I can't dodge all the stratanol. Stratanol. Stratnol. He dies. Shrapnel of strategies.

The epic Ashwat, uh, fucking kill me. Hey boss announces um, Lamau. I caused the slick, spick to do a gamer rage on camera. LMAO, this shit was funny. I'm starting a new sentence. Ryan Luchessey. Chris,

I can't live outside of a city. I'm a city slicker Maldonado, sloshy scout, Atrosheny. This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come. Tom Sweeney, the nutritious alien fucker

and Keith David's Golden Boys. If Tom Sweeney, if Tom Boy Sweat was a type of beverage, I'd order several barrels. Hard Hat Skydiver. Yabaabaabba domestic abuse. Alaskan Ophiel Trash.

Debunking Wiverance. Marcus Shorton. Queen Elizabeth's Crystal. Queen Vigine. I live for your piss, Chris. Murder ascended. Keith David, the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain. Welcome to the new age. To the new age. Chris radioactive cover.

NFT. coming soon. Lobotomized Jesus, patron saint of pillow humpers. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis. Parantheses I masturbate while driving. Hiroshima spicy mushroom. Derek Pilot. Future Blizzard CEO. Dummy thick Dave. Heartless wretch, aka the idiot who spent four hours trying to find clips of full metal sheen.

I give it a 9.5 out of 10. That's a pretty nice cock. Ramsey ramming a Remington into his own mouth. Yummy, yummy, yummy, coming inside my tummy. Jackson Abseh,

Badly Braith, Huggard Derek, the movie theater manager, Aetherian, Chris Gate, my Paturian, Hunting Ass, all hands on Dick,

Melfus one, L. Q. Lebrone, Rictor 86. And, as always, rounding out our list, the king of haphazard. A king of haphazard.

That's everybody. The mighty one. The mighty one. Thanks again for all of your support. We really appreciate it. Dicus. And, hopefully this episode

makes up for last episode. I think we have I think this one is a pretty fun one I think this is ridiculous this is a ridiculous episode yeah I don't know if it's I don't know if it beats

Marcus Phoenix squirting up a storm but yeah that might be the best thing that's come out of this podcast in a while but thanks for some thanks for your support Marcus Phoenix squirting shirts I think we need a new merch

yeah let's get all the best artists to collaborate on just a big mural of Marcus you think if we get you we get lush sucks lush sucks

oh my god we probably could he probably I do I will I'll fucking DM him I will let's let's yeah let's put a let's put a

what does it call a kickstarted together I'm fucking down you're gonna I'm squirting I think he would actually do it though yeah I think he would

all right guys we'll see you next week peace up I can't stop Tom, kill your girl so we can be together and you can make me squirt. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required.

Call 1-877 RAM 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to least to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. Struggling to see up close, make it visible with Viz.

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