The Snark Tank - #89: Gween Gobwin

Episode Date: November 21, 2021

Can you survive a plane crash? Could a dolphin understand guns if they had hands? Why are they making a That 90's Show if Red isn't going to beat up Venom? Is Tobey Maguire in the new Spider-Man (if he isn't I'll be very angry a very angry boy)? What types of abuse could you orchestrate if you absolutely understood the Toy Story universes rules of sentience? How did Rockstar allow the GTA remasters to look like Gumby? All this and more on todays episode of The Gays They Have Arrived! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ever feel like your bedroom's shrinking? Don't worry. You don't have to sell your favorite things to make space. With IKEA bedroom storage solutions, think dressers, wardrobes, full closet systems, even storage boxes. You can keep it all. Your vintage banties, safe. Those limited edition sneakers? Plenty of room.

And yes, your childhood teddy bear gets a spot too. Don't sell what you love. Store it instead with IKEA Bedroom Storage Solutions. Shop now at IKEA.us.us slash bedroom storage. Allergy season always sneaks up on you. One minute you're listening to your favorite podcast. The next, it's nonstop sneezing and a runny nose. Don't worry.

Kleenex ultra-soft tissues have your back and your face. They're allergist approved and silky soft to help prevent skin irritation. So you can stay comfortable all season long. Don't let allergies interrupt your flow. Be ready with Kleenex Ultrasoft tissues. For whatever happens next, grab Kleenex. Everybody, welcome. Welcome.

Welcome to another episode of the Snark Tank podcast featuring your friends, your boys. It's us. It's another one of those weeks where we feel like nothing substantial has happened, but I assure you tomorrow, JFK is going to come back or something. And... About time. Did you see that... Did you see that cue...

that like Trump or not it wasn't even like a Trump thing I think it was just like a random like Q&on rally where they like this is like this is kind of old we didn't we didn't touch it when it happened but like there was like a rally that just came to mind a bunch of people like rallied around like where JFK got shot because they thought for real that on the anniversary of his death he would show up there along with Jay John what was it Kennedy Robert Robert Kennedy and a announced that they were running mates with Trump. Yeah, you know, the guys that died decades and decades ago. They're not even like, I can't believe that.

It's real, like actually for, and you know, it's funny though, it's like, it's not even just like a standard dead person, you know, like it'd be what it's like, oh, he passed away in his sleep and they never found his body. And it's like, ah, he might still be out there. These people are like extra dead, you know, like Robert. Kevin Kennedy died in a fucking plane crash, which is like, you know, that's not, unless you're a main character in a book or something, you're not getting out of that. And like, there's no bouncing back from that.

Yeah. They say the fucking forest. It's in the forest, man. You're going to fucking survive some goddamn plane crash. Get out of here. That shit is crazy. It's crazy that like planes crash and people end up on islands and shit. It's like, people don't.

You know how lucky you are? I mean, it's, I struggle to. I can't. imagine that that has ever actually happened. People are crashing on islands? I'm sure it's happened so rare. A handful of times.

Can't be a handful. I mean, I don't know about a handful because planes only crashed a handful of times. Right, exactly. So I'm talking about like overall since planes came out, you know,

since the whole entire plane brand came out. Yes, since they released planes. Yeah, maybe the, maybe the Wright brothers, maybe they fucking like were marooned on an island. was made, you know. They didn't crash that hard, you know, the first planes because they probably only went like 20 miles an hour. What the hell?

So there's probably a couple of. What is this? I just Googled. Okay, so I just Googled plane crash survival rate. And it says, Google tells me, 95.7%. That's not true. That cannot be real. That's not true.

What is that? What does that mean? Like, maybe the data is misinterpreted. because does it mean somebody saw like almost 100% of time one person survives? What are they trying to like I'm trying to understand this. It's a 95% survival rate. So if you're in a plane crash, don't worry, guys. You're fine.

You're more than likely going to be a okay. I assume, right? That's what this means. Are they saying that like out of all the planes that have crashed, most of them did not like just slam into the ground or something? In a report In a report analyzing airline incidents from 1983, I said 1883.

It was like, that can't be real. 1983 to 2000, the National Transportation Safety Board found that the survival rate of plane crashes was 95.7.7%. Sure, there are some accidents where everyone or nearly everyone died, but those are much rarer than you'd guess. No.

They are. I feel like that's true. But what are they qualifying as a crash then? See, what I'm thinking is... And I'm thinking of an important Forced landing. Yeah, exactly. Probably, oh, we have to set down in this lake.

We have to set down in this fucking crazy area because our engines went out or something. Or the ocean, which is so fucking terrifying. Anytime I fly overseas, I get so fucking like, I'm like, can you imagine just going over the Atlantic

all of a sudden? Whoopsies. We're going to land. Dude, that terrifies me, especially if it's at night. You can't see anything. I would get so, I would get.

It's so unbelievably paranoid that I would end up having to be shot by the air marshal. I would lose my mind. I would be like, dude, the dark ocean is dread. That is ultimate fearfulness. That is the scariest shit to me. Like, at least if there is moon light bumps the fucking plane. Well, that's the thing that's scary. You can't see anything around you unless there's a sweet fire.

Hopefully there's flight attendant's burning. And then they're like, okay, cool. All right. Now I can see something. Throw his dumb ass in the water Yeah, those classic flammable flight attendants That they pack on every single flight Imagine, you gotta put up a thing and you're like

How flammable is your blood? They just lather them, they ladder them in carousine In case of an emergency so they can be So they can be lit for a signal fire The fucking... Oh my God. Did you mind how sad they'd be? They'd be like... I would rather... I would rather the pilot landed in space.

Like I would rather the pilot just like flew upwards and just be like, you know what, we're going to go, we're going to float around in the upper atmosphere for a little bit until someone comes to help, comes to help us. I cannot be in the ocean. I can't be in the ocean. At least we can see. At least I can see. I mean, I mean, I have to be holding my breath, but.

It might be, yeah, it might be real cold and my bones are kind of frozen, but. The ocean is safer technically, but like not technically, you know what I mean? So, fucking terrifying. It's a safer place to be, but like, I feel like if I'm in a plane, well, what I'm saying, then space? I feel like it is, but it's not, you know? Like, it is. I mean, it is.

It just doesn't feel like it is. But it's just not. Because in space, there's probably nothing out there, at least in our immediate rain is going to hurt us. Look, I'm not saying deep space. I'm not saying deep space. I'm saying just out of atmosphere. Just like.

Yeah, just high. Bezo space. Bezo space. Just high enough to float around a little. But, you know, like, I feel like the ocean, because, I don't know, like I would rather just be in a plane crash in space. Because if I'm in the ocean, that's something that, like, it's such an underwhelming way to go. You know, it's just like, oh, I've imagined this several times. And guess what?

It's exactly as I imagined it. I'm surrounded by nothingness. I'm in the ocean. I'm going to drown. But, like, in space, at least you get that crazy view before something. inevitably like goes wrong and you're like I bet very few people have seen this with my own eye with their own eyes you know that's a novelty

I can get but like I imagine the ocean you'd be like in the water and then you'd see like a bunch of orcas and they'd come up and it'd come to the windows with guns and they'd be like give me everything you got and you're like I'm getting robbed by killer whales in the fucking ocean in a plane yeah who the fuck would believe you too

no one would believe it Hey yo get the fuck out the place shoots the window and it all the water starts coming in I'll fucking shoot every window in this motherfucker, all right? I'm sure. They all have, well,

they all have fucking, like, New York accents and stuff, too. Like, they all have no very Boston night accent so you can barely understand them. And you're just like, get out of fucking plane.

Get out of fucking plane right now. Get out of play right now. Yeah. I'm just like, what the hell? What is this? A dolphin from Boston with a gun is probably like the worst thing

you could hope to encounter. Yo. I mean, dolphins are bad to be. begin with. A dolphin with a gun that understands it, that like takes it apart and puts it back together. That's bad. Do you think they're smart enough? Like I know they, okay, so they don't have appendages by which to really take advantage of really any sliver of their intelligence. But assuming that they had hands, do you think a dolphin could understand a gun and like its purpose

and like how to use it properly? Well, monkeys going to understand. Because they're super. smart like they're smarter than monkeys I'm pretty sure right they're not they're not say that I wouldn't say I would I would assume they are they just don't have the uh the ability to do what I mean no that that's true they're not primates they just don't have the they just don't have the ability to you know they don't have fucking yeah yeah exactly so I think they wouldn't understand like I think they would just understand if you do this this will happen right like so and zies are the smartest animal that's not us no no I know I know chimps are the smartest, right?

Research suggests dolphins are smarter than chimpanzees and second only to humans in terms of intelligence. Because of, I mean, it's, the way you can view a dolphin is not the way you view a chimps. So I understand, like, that is already a barrier. They require different types of intelligence because, like, an intelligent chimp is going to, you know, they're not going to survive in the ocean.

They're going to, they're, they're fuck. And a dolphin's not going to survive in the fucking middle of the woods. So they have to measure intelligence differently. I feel like a chimp is easy because, you know, we just look at it and it's like, oh, it's most like us, therefore it's probably the smartest. Because that's how we measure intelligence. But a dolphin's like, what the fuck is that. I know a chimp can understand what a gun is.

They understand what knives, like they get it, which is insane. It's just terrifying. Like if you give a chimp a knife and you show it stabbing motions, it will do it back. And if you just arm the chimp, you just arm the chimp with a knife. And if you give it a gun, they get excited. And they start shooting it. Wait, is there footage? I feel like I've seen footage of monkey shooting down.

It's a fake thing, I've never seen it, but I'm assuming there's a fake video. Like these militia guys giving chimps guns. But the way they react with the guns is they still lift it up in the air and shoot it and have a good time. Just terrifying. That is really scary. There's like the whole thing like when you think about because they still, they're still like the whole consciousness barrier where like say if you put a mirror. in the fucking jungle and then the fucking chimps are like

the fuck is happening like they're like they do that I know dogs and cats and should do that but I don't know if chimps can exactly like I don't know if they take time to cry about it they're like oh see that's the it's that's the barrier they don't know they're just they're like what in the fuck is happening

that's the one barrier that they can't cross like they don't understand that and it's there's actually there's actually some pretty cool videos of people doing shit like that Or it was like fucking, there's like a silver back like going up to a fucking like he's like the fuck is this and he'll slap the ground trying to challenge it and shit and he's like running away but then he comes back and I think I saw one of like a jaguar though like it was like into it. It was like it was like fucking maybe it did understand or at least thought like oh this niggas like me and it was like all fucking just chilling by the like it's just weird to see different animals. Yeah there's like a single-handedly arming them to understand that.

There's a 4 million view video from 2015 of like just a chimp looking at a mirror and just getting fucking furious Just pounding the ground just like I don't under fucking stand Yo it's so pissed it's so angry Isn't it just because like dogs and cats like they they sense things more through smell so they're just baffled That a dog is in front of it and it doesn't smell like anything so it's like the fuck is this Probably like it doesn't understand like why am I not identifying this the way that I normally would. Yeah, why is that thing completely invisible?

This ship is so mad. It's legendary. Legendary. Anyway, it still doesn't beat that monkey though, right? That fucking monkey where it was so mad that it shakes the banana. That is terrifying because that's human.

That's a human reaction. That's what bothered me the most. Yeah, that's what I loved it. Yeah. So I don't fucking want this shit anymore. I don't even fucking want it. It's like, oh man, this monkey,

his monkey's learning stuff. This monkey acts like my dad. That's fucking terrified. Yo, let's calm down. Let's just calm down us for just a little bit. Anyway, I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. We should probably go, we talked about the Spider-Man poster

last time that Sween had a fucking problem with for like no real. No real reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, because. Trailer's out, huh? The trailer is out. Willem Defoe is in it.

We know, we've known that, I guess, and Alfred Millian is in it. All the, yeah, Jamie Foxx, all the, all the old spider boy, bad people, and they're in it. It's Cooper Gray's going to be in it? I know, probably not. What if he is, that'd be cool. So they, I don't think he's going to be in it. I think that would be, I would love if he was in it, and our scenario that we painted came to fruition. Red Form and be in the.

Fuck out of him, dude. He was in a stifling fuck out of venom. That's it. He was in fucking, he was in nom, bro. He could be venom easily. Yeah, easily. What if Red Foreman's just Frank Castle, that's it? That's it.

That's it. The Punisher is the Punisher. I would love it. Red Foreman as the Punisher is exactly what we need. Dude, did you see, by the way, actually, this is kind of relevant, but we'll get back to Spider-Man in a second. Do you see they're making a VAT 90s show? I heard they made another spin-off already.

They're making- I'm not kidding. They're making it that 90s show. Is it by the same people that did that 70s and that 80s show? I don't know. That's 80s show. That's what it was. I don't know, but was that 80s show bad. It was terrible. It was really bad. It was really bad. It was terrible. It was like there was no excuse for it. And it had Glenn Howard today too. It had a fucking, oh my God, the sociopath, Dennis from Always Sunny. Yeah. He was the main character, wouldn't he? Yeah, I think it was the main guy, which is like, yeah, I could be wrong, but I think I remember that. I know there was a punk chick

That was the love interest Yeah It probably came out like a few years after That 70 show's success It was something That 70 show was still running If I remember correctly But they were like

Let's try a spinoff Not a spin-off Sorry let's just try a 80s show Because it wasn't connected And I remember there was an Asian guy That was fucking retarded in it I remember him wearing parachute pants In one episode

Yeah You know they were just hitting All these tropes that just It wasn't landing It didn't It didn't land at all. It didn't even feel. You know what it?

You know what it felt like? It felt like... It doesn't even look like it. It feels like I'm watching like something for about like about... It feels like Boys Meets World or something. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. That was the whole...

That was the problem. Like when people expect 80s, you kind of have to lead more into the tropes. Like they hit some of the character tropes. But like, uh, like some of their characters were trying to be tropey, what I mean? But as far as like, you didn't get that type of vibe. Like, ah, this is a fucking 80s. bro, I get it. Success starts with your drive,

and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.

At Arizona State University, we've made online education better, smarter, and more personalized, so you can go further in your aspiring field. I decided to pursue medicine once I realized that ASU did have the online program for biological sciences. You're still required to learn the same curriculum. You're still being tested on the same content that anyone would be tested on in person. The comprehensiveness of the program prepared me so well for medical school. Explore over 350 plus programs at ASUonline.asu.edu. Like it was just

Yeah It was pretty bad But apparently that 90s show is Supposed to be I feel you're fucking with me I'm not kidding Like okay I understand I understand

That I make things up a lot Yeah But there's a Wikipedia on it right now That 90s show is an upcoming American television Period sitcom set in the 90s Isn't it weird that the 90s Is like a period now

I know right So fucking strange I think the 90s sucked But it had some really good hip hop I thought the 90s But it's following the same people. Right. Okay, that could be potentially cool.

No, it's fucking, are you serious, bro? It's the same people, like Red is back. Every, all the characters. You're Colwood Smith. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. Is that what his name is? Kurtwood Smith?

Yeah. He's red. Yeah, that's red. I love how you know Red's fucking name. Dude, he fucking shot fucking Robocop's fucking handoff, bro. Like, that's my nigger, dude. This guy is so violent That they're like

We need him to be Foreman Like that's what they That's what I'm assuming at least Like this violent piece of shit needs to be the dad And then like he just played it up so well He it's so crazy because like somebody brought that up to me recently Because I never really watched that much That 70 show like I watched a little bit of it

But I love it Like I had no idea that that guy was in so many of those classic movies Like those like action movies Like I had no idea because he looks like significantly different Like to me Like in that 70 show Then he did in like those Those action movies that he was in.

Well, I guess he's just older, but like age hits people differently in some ways. Like he doesn't, I don't think red looks bad particularly at least in his stature. And like his, like his physique, he doesn't look very bad.

He looks pretty elderly right now, man. But now he probably looks old. I imagine now. Yes, I mean, later. Look at fucking, uh,

I was looking at Mila Koonis eating hot wings on that fucking show. And I was like, oh, holy shit. She's not fucking like, 20 years old, you know what I mean? Like, because I've just, in my mind, I'm thinking like that 70 show.

You know what's crazy, though? She got on that show when she was 14. She lied about her age. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And it makes me think, like, dude was fucking, uh, what's his face? Was Kelso smashing that shit before? Did he know?

But he was 16. I don't, like, he was 16. I don't think everybody had to be 18. I thought that was a whole point. I think everybody was 16. And some people were 18. I think that Hyde's character was 18. And if I remember correctly

You had to be 18 to be on that shit What show? What were you talking about? To be on that 70 show I thought you had to be 18 But then she lied We already proved that that's not true Because of hers She just straight up lied about it

Well no, she lied So I'm just saying like what did other people lie too What's his name? What's his name? Which one? Ashton Coucher Oh yeah, Ashton Couture What a fucking name?

What is that shit? Yeah I mean he's one of the fucking He's the dude now Like I fucking loves Kelso He's my favorite character in that show He's good Kelso was great in it

He's 43 and Miller is... She's probably got to be... She's probably like 38. I'm just assuming. You're right. How the fuck did I guess that shit? You got that exactly? Yeah, you're right.

Holy shit. You're very right. You're real real. You're a nail me Ted. Dude, I'm really weird with like, when movies come out and people's age. And I guess numbers a lot. Like, I'll be like, oh, I wonder how much this mixed marks. martial artist, how many followers he has on Instagram, I'll guess it and it'll be dead on.

And I'm like, how am I doing this? How am I fucking doing this? I was just talking about Avatar with my lady. And I was like, remember we're talking about this to a fucking movie for whatever reason? And then I barely paid attention to that movie. I'm like, when that movie came on like 2009? And then she looked up, she's like, yeah. And I was like, how the fuck did I know that?

You're a fucking rain man, bro. You got a, you got a sharp in your skills. I do know that specifically because I associate 2009 with Avatar because I couldn't get away from it. But I understand, yeah, sometimes you just fucking, you just get lucky, man. Sometimes you just have this fucking knowledge in your head that's just like dormant in your head for no reason. And you just keep it like, like, just keep it. And then it just, I know. As if I've always just, yeah.

What? Yeah, it's just like I know like Spider-Man 3 came out May 3rd, 2007. Like, I remember that very specifically. Definitely didn't know the specific of the month and shit. I've tried. I have tried to forget. But like, it's just. just watching it last uh two nights ago spiderman three really it's i'm i got to tell you it's just

it's not good i'm i try i try to like really like get into it but you have to watch it in a different perspective i know i understand i totally understand that i was trying to watch it not in that perspective i was trying to watch it just as as a movie it's it's it's it's a romance drama it's not a bad It's a good romance drama, but it's a terrible Spider-Man movie. It's like there's nothing about it that's like redeeming at all in that aspect, except for like the action is kind of good sometimes. Like I still like when he's grinding fucking Sandman's face against the train, that is a really like violent shot. He didn't know he would survive it yet.

I don't think he knew he was like capable of surviving something like that yet. That's the implication is actually, yeah. I agree. He just thought that was a man. He just thought that was a man. He was going to cheese grade this man's face into fucking a flat surface. I love when you can get away with shit like that. It's like a lot of people,

a lot of people hate on like, say, the live action Transformers movies and I totally get it. But there's a scene in the second one where Optimus Prime, he gets pissed off and he just fucks all the Decepticons up. And at one point, he fucking rips a dude's fucking head apart. Yeah. And it's so...

He starts screaming nigger. He's like, you niggas. That's me. You robos niggas don't mean shit to me. He says, like, I'll take all you niggas on. And then he just fucks them all up. He like, rips off Stark, screams arm and hits him with it and shit. Rips the dudes.

I was like, dude, like, success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. IP vanish protects every device you own, your phone, your laptop, your smart TV. If it connects to the internet, it should be protected. IP vanish encrypts your connection and masks your IP address, helping keep your browsing private at home and on public Wi-Fi. And with no device limits, one account covers everything.

Stream with added privacy. Browse securely. Connect with confidence. Right now, save 83% off the two-year plan. Get started today at IPvanish.com and take control of your privacy with IPVanish. I was like, imagine if this was humans. I think it would be the most violent scene ever.

Oh, dude. Yeah, no, no, no. Because it's machines, you could just do whatever the fuck you want to it. He says, I'll take all you niggas on. And then Sam, word for work. He's like, why did he say niggas? And then Star schemes like, why did you call me a nigger? And everyone's like kind of weirded out that Optimus said nigger, but he starts beating everybody's ass.

So everybody, no one brings it up again. They're like, oh, okay, I guess Optimus has some shit he has to talk about. But he definitely says niggas out loud to everybody. 100%. I'm Optimus prime, nigger. And I'll take you all on. And I was like, oh. And I was looking at people like, didn't, no one noticed.

But I was like, did anybody hear him say that? Like, everyone was just tuned in. And then I'm like, I guess I'm going fucking crazy. Everybody's quiet. Everybody's real quiet and you're like, Otham is saying niggas kind of a, kind of a look. Those movies are old enough to where the first one,

you were still allowed to have one of those robots be an obvious nigger. Like jazz? Yeah. Like he jazz showed up and he was all flashy. He was this cool portion. Like, what up, suck a kind of thing? And I'm like, oh, you can't do that shit now.

So it's a nice little time capsule. You got to sprinkle a little more now. That's, that's, uh, They're still definitely black-coded characters and shit, dude. Like, I see them. It's, it is different, though, because that was, like, in a tropic thunder era, you know? Like, that was, like, around the time when it was, like, we're approaching the end of when you can do things like this. We're approaching the end.

I seriously, I never saw any of the Transformers movies that, like, I only saw the first one, and I was like, it was all right. And I never watched any of the other ones. So, like, for all I know, this could all be real. I've seen all of them because I'm like a I'm when it comes to giant robots and mobile suits and stuff like that I turn immediately into a three year old like it's it's just I it's so cool to me it doesn't matter the script around it I just want to see giant robots like just fucking shut up where like uh Pacific Rim which actually I thought it was really good just because Gilmo Datoro just I love just a visionary I don't know I love what he does Yeah. But anyway, when I, that movie, like, whenever I see like just a giant sword, like, just the most impossible shit ever, my, like, brain just lights up or like, I just, I feel like I'm, you know, on the spectrum. I'm just, this is just my shit. I'm focused on this and nothing else. And I just love it. It doesn't matter how, like, no, hey, no disrespect. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying it's a weird thing. If somebody just walked in my room right now with like a fucking statue of like a Gundam or something, I would just. light up like a little bitch because I don't know there's something about them that just I think it just it was probably the power Rangers the fucking Zords I think that's what it was I think it just stayed in my DNA or something I'm somewhat like that too I can't

lie I think I think anything involving someone making fire come out of them body is cool to me like I'm like I'm with this this guy just made fire appear he's a god this is a god I'm from following you I like that fucking dude on a what was No, it's like the same thing with Spider-Man for me. It's like, if I can see him like swinging around and shit, like I'm happy. Like even if like the movie sucks, like Spider-Man 3 is like, oh, man, this is making me real sad, but like at least he's like swinging and I like it. Yeah.

I don't know. For me, Spider-Man 3 has become such a meme because like, it is a meme. My favorite meme from Spider-Man 3 ever is the idea is like, Spider-Man looking at his hands and then him taking off his mask and smiling. and then there's like when you're black friends that you say the N word. Like that is like my favorite meme from it because that's just the jubilee in his face. He's like, whoa, that sure is something.

And I'm just like, yes. Well, yeah, what does he say? All right, what is it? This is something else. This is something else. I'm like, what the fuck? I have way too much of that script like memorized. Not even-

Remember when Jalen was saying it word for word we were watching it? Because he had Spider-Man 3 installed on his Xbox and he would watch it all the time. Weekly. Every week he would watch Spider-Man 3. And to the point that he knew every single word to it. It was hilarious. But anyway, so these actors are back in this new movie.

You got Willem Defoe in his goblin. The classic shit, too. I thought they were going to redo the way some of them looked. And I think they are actually, like, midway through the movie. They're probably going to do that thing where they like, hey, everybody's got a new suit because we got. to sell toys. They're probably going to do that for literally everybody.

I hope Peter has two different suits already. I've already seen two different suits guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's whatever. Who cares? But it's, I got to be real, man. Like, I'm pretty cynical when it comes to like Marvel stuff. Like I just like, ah, just like, like,

superhero stuff in general. It's just like it's the same thing over and over again with like very minor things different. And it's like they're always fun, but they're always like, I don't know, it's like, it's like Pringles. Where it's like, these are good, but they're also the same.

like every single, like there's no like, you're not gonna get a surprising box of Pringles. So like I feel like when I saw this trailer I was like, all right, this looks like I expected it to. But I couldn't help just feeling like really happy, like seeing like, or hearing Willem Defoe specifically. And like the the potential of seeing Toby in there again makes me really happy. I don't know if that's possible. I don't know if that's actually gonna happen. It would be a massive waste of a potential if they did that. If they tease this movie the way they're teasing it and Toby is not in that movie, I can't even imagine why they would even bother making the movie in the first place.

But we'll see how it goes. But I thought it looked fun. It looks. It looks nostalgic more than anything. I have like bad feelings probably because I feel like they never let Tom Holland do his thing as his own character. Like he's always been like under someone else's foot. Just let him do his thing. you know like let him have his own villains and i know they showed a lot of his villains you know so

no matter what they do they're always gonna be um that was gonna be like juxtapose to toby fighting docac or fighting green goblin which are his two biggest villains or andrew garfield fighting lizard or electro because those are his other big villains but i can say that this movie has me very excited simply to see the other people like to see a potentially like bitter old Peter Parker that's Toby McGuire or you know see Andrew Garfield as like the mid like mid third I got it's like the idea of seeing those characters again older and see what they went through yeah at the same time they seven like Tom Holland hasn't been Spider-Man enough he's always he's just been a kid

that's just stumbling and fucking up things so I'm pretty sure he's gonna end up in the Sony universe somehow and it's gonna be really I'd be a huge waste of time I don't care where he ends up. I don't care about, I really don't care about Tom Holland Spider-Man at all. I just, I just want to see, I want to see my boy. I want to see my, like, get the fuck out of the way. There are cars there, motherfucker. I want Spider-Man to say that. I want, that's the post-credit scene. It's Toby McGuire in the movie screaming, there are cars there, motherfucker. Get out of the fucking way. And then the movie ends. I'm happy with that. I want to see Toby, I want to see Toby

get stabbed and have that screaming face from the beginning of three when he has a suit on and he's like, ah, I want to see that. I just need that one scene. Yes, he has such ugly, like reactions. Like, he has such an ugly face, dude. Like, he's not an ugly man, but his faces, his expressions are just like, oh, dude, you can't have got someone half decent looking to do this. Like when he's crying? Yeah, he cries a lot.

He cries so many times in those movies. Yo, is Mr. Dikovitz or whatever? You think he's going to make an appearance? I think he's dead. Give me right. Well, see, I said that earlier, but then I was like, did I make that up? I was talking about this shit. I'm going to look at him up.

Did I make that up? Or is he? Oh, no. He's still alive. He's still alive. He's still alive. 71 years old. 71 and kicking.

Yes. So he's going to like, he is going to team up with with fucking Red Foreman. And they're going to come after him. Like, hey, this nigga's been a, he's been a pest for too long. The Sika hasn't given me rent yet. He still has not, as of yet, give me rent. Give me rent. How is Peter Parker still dirt poor, and he's never paid me rent?

That's the end scene. Is Mr. Dittkovich standing over Peter Parker's dead body? It's like that, it's like, what is it that animation from, like, ages ago, the ultimate battle of ultimate destiny or whatever? And it was like Mr. Rogers at the end, but instead it's Mr. Dittkovich standing over a pile of Spider-Men, and it just has a bag of money all their fucking. fucking rent.

He goes to the multiverse. He goes into the multiverse. He goes into the multiverse. I would love that so much. That's how that's how giraffe it. He comes after miles and Miles's like, yo, I live with my parents.

Calm down. He's like, no, you're Spider-Man. You give me rent. You give me rent. Peter Parker has not paid me. You all will pay me now.

And he just... That's an amazing... I got to... to say, dude, like, this is dumb and like a really stupid idea, but also, like, I would totally, I would totally watch, like, I don't know, like an animation or like something of, like, Mr. Dikovic traveling the multiverse, collecting rent for multiple Spider-Man. There are more ridiculous- There are more ridiculous comic books that actually do exist. Like, I don't- Yeah, are you guys familiar with Spiders Man?

Yeah, he's Spider-Man, he's Spiders. Yeah, he's Spiders. He's, do you know, Derek? I actually don't, but it is. Spiders, so Spiders Man is Peter Parker getting eaten alive by a swarm of radioactive spiders, which then absorb his consciousness and then form the shape of a man. Success starts with your drive, an American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skill,

and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. It's cozy season and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a minky couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made, from movie nights to change.

Chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original best blanket ever. Visit minky couture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet. Who is with all the memories of Peter Parker. So it's literally just spiders, man. And I love that idea so much because it's so stupid and morbid. You know what's crazy? It's just Sandman, but he's made of spiders.

Yeah, literally, yeah. Except he can't, except he can't look normal, right? He is just like a bunch of, he's like oogie boogie under the, under the, yeah, he can't, he can't, he can't go outside. He's a hero 24-7. He can't do that upside-down kiss and shit. Oh my God. He'd put spiders in a bitch's mouth. Just a bunch of spiders fall in her mouth.

He'd be fucking great. I mean, great. I love the idea of that Dukovic is getting rent from everybody. I love it. He does some fuck shit. He goes to. through some weird gamma radiation and he starts fucking Spider-Man up

and Peter's like, bro, he hit me so hard at shat myself. Take all the rent. Take every cent of rent. But his suit is like super skin tight so it just like spreads across his entire body. I love it.

He takes up his mask and it's coming out of his neck. I love it. Mary Jane, I shit my mask. Oh my God. He comes in Aunt May's house. A maze like, what's that fucking smell? Nothing.

But yeah, I don't know. To go to the bathroom faster than anyone ever. Dude, what if like, I just want in this universe, though, like, with all the timelines being fucked up, what I would like as Mr. Dickowitz to be the one. Like, he's, he's present, Dickowitz. But he somehow ends up in the past. And he's like, Uncle Ben is alive. And then he shoots the fuck out of him for. revenge the rent because he didn't give him rent he killed.

Could you imagine how fucked up that would be? He kills Uncle Ben. He's the one that kills Uncle Ben. Can you imagine the Tom Holland Spider-Man is actually kill his uncle Ben is killed by Dikovic because he ends up in his universe way before everybody else. He starts his universe hopping years before everybody else starts thinking about it. And he kills Uncle Ben. I would, you know how much that would, I, it would be, it would be like,

I have a very solid top five movies, right? It's very hard to ever move that shit. It would immediately be in there. It would immediately just be in there. Like, yo, he killed Uncle. I feel like if I watch it at the theater, I feel like something crazy would happen. I feel like a gunman would show up.

Like I feel like someone with a gun. Like Aurora would just be like, that's not fucking funny. It's a guy dressed like the Joker. had a Spider-Man movie and he shows up with a gun and he starts letting everybody have it and in the middle of it

and in the middle of it some guy goes yo this is Spider-Man you got the wrong theater and he goes oh my bad and he leaves and he gives medical to everybody yeah because people walk around

with assault weapons give medical to people that would be that's what they're doing with their assault My weapon, dude. We're giving, giving out medical help, man. That was good. That was good, man.

That was a sneaky one, bro. I'm proud of myself. That was good. Honestly, genuinely good. Pat's on the back for that one. Yeah. You got rent? You got rent?

I love this premise so much. I really love it. Like, I'm in love with that preface. It's like they make Spider-Verse, like the comic to stop him. All the, it's no more loon. There's no inheritors. It's just them stopping Dickevich from killing every spider man. Do you think, do you think, you know how like Marvel movies,

modern Marvel movies, especially the team up movies. Like you go to the theater and people are like cheering and like, it's like, oh, Captain America pulled me all near. You think Dickovich shoots, shoots Uncle Bed, the theater goes wild. Yeah. They're fucking excited and cheering for him. I mean, I would look at, I've never clapped in the theater before ever. I despise it.

But that's the exception. That would be the exception. Never clapped once in the theater? Never once. Never once. You know why? Because the theater isn't alive. The fucking motion picture, the fucking film can appreciate an applause.

That's true. What the fuck am I applauding for? People can appreciate the applause. Like, I've clapped before. I clapped at the end of, um... For what? It's like people clapping when they fucking land. on an air like so we safely land who are you clapping for I clap because I'm terrified I

clap every I clap every time because I'm like thank God I made it what the fuck is wrong with you I don't why would you clap for that do you clap after you finish beating off like what are you doing no but beating off and landing in a plane are different no it's just a self-flatulate it's just it's a celebration I'm clapping yeah you're celebrating dumb shit like you're it's like to me a very egotistical thing to clap for yourself or it's like what are you doing? This fucking bitch.

Every time I have sex, I clap afterwards too, dude. You clap afterwards? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's the equivalent where it's like you're congratulating something that, I feel like applauding people who deserve a plot, like a plot, like if the feel like say when I got, when I got to see

Deadpool and Rob, why don't I always want to say Lightfield or Lightfield? Lyfield. Rob Lightfield. Lyfield. I always forget how to pronounce it Or light fell

And he Whatever But that that niggum You know Like he showed up At the I went to the premiere or whatever Or something

And he showed up and did some Q&A We applauded the fuck out of him Because He was there The guy that was involved You know That's cool But like if he wasn't there

I would have Tell everyone to shut the fuck up Because I don't It's an impulsive I clapped at a I've clapped at two movies The first one Here we go

Was the room when I saw it live in Manhattan I saw it on a date you saw that movie live I saw it on a date but he was there like Tommy O'Soe was there

like in the audience Vampos I would fuck his I would clap for him too Yeah he was there It was awesome He had like spoons and shit Like everybody had spoons

And they were like They would throw the spoons At the at the at the screen Awesome I'm sure It was a lot of fun And the second one

Was The day we all saw End game, I think, because everybody was screaming and I was just like at a certain point is just like I'm getting sucked into this and I can't hear anything So fucking I might as well just fucking be a loud fucking person But I'm like like being the person to start that in like a like like scream cheering and like Joe Joe rabbit or something I'd be like a bath Yeah that shit and I'm like oh my god Oh my god we got one of these I never started I never started but I do I clap that um if it's going already and

end of a story story three why did definitely did that because i was so fucking relieved i was so relieved why were you i'm sorry because i love that movie niggo no hold on hold on hold on in what world did you think those toys were going to be burnt alive i don't know but i felt it at the moment dude at the moment in every in every movie they create tension and you're like you know what i feel tense but they make it too i knew they were going i was like they can't had this can't happen that's that's the part where look it look at look at in certain movies I'll get sucked into it. I'll suspend, you know, my disbelief.

I'll suspend it. Right. That toy movie for children. It couldn't happen. Not that one, yeah. It couldn't happen. I don't care what y'all say, man. I believed it.

I was like, you know, they actually did kill them. That would be, they all burned. They're burning alive and they need to hear, you got to fend and be. It's just the credits rolling in shit. No, but it's like,

but it's like, but it's like, it's playing through, like, You ever have one of those old toys that have like audio players in them, but they've like degraded over time, so it sounds like a fucking, almost like a heart. It's just that version of you got a friend in me. All the, all the toys start to look like the daft punk technological robot, all their skin melting off of. That's a real possibility.

That's a real, that was a real possible ending. They have like real hearts. You're like, oh my God, they have real hearts. They have real organs. They were alive. They were alive. They have real hearts. Oh, my God.

Skeletons and shit. Everything about them is fake, but they have real hearts. That would send me to fuck. That would send me to fuck. You gotta suck my motherfucking. Big. Yeah. Me and you bitch.

Yeah. Man, I did not. It is a great video. I didn't like Toy Story 3 at all, man. I liked it. I like all of them, but. Yo, Toy Story 4 was asked, though. Do you see that one?

I didn't see that one. I liked four. It was weird, but I liked it. I hated that fucking creepy-ass half-scient fork or whatever. Because, like, oh, you put some shit on it and then, like, now it's a toy, so it's like half alive. That shit was fucking terrifying, dude. Yeah, it was scary. The rules of that universe get really, really muddy when you introduce the fork into the...

I mean, it's... So are dildos and vibes alive? Yes, if you put some shit on a fucking dildo, then it'll be just like... that fork. If you bedazzle a dildo will it be alive? But is it, is it the customization of it?

Or is it the fact that like, it's the intention. It's the intention. It's the intention of using it as a toy. No, but then so like, like if somebody picked up like, let's say you kill, like if you,

let's say hypothetically, like a crazy like, like maladjusted sociopath child kills a kitten and plays with the dead kitten. Does the kitten now become a toy in the toy story world? Because it's a toy to him? ready. The kitten was alive already, so maybe not. But let's say, let's say if the kid kills his mom with a knife and then he puts eyes and like little feet on the knife, the knife will be like, yo, I killed someone. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here. And it'll be alive.

That would be the sickest. But the knife will know it's not a toy. The knife would be like, I'm a knife. That would be. I shouldn't be doing this. That would be the cruelest thing to do. Like, if you, if you understood in the Toy Story world that like, okay, toys. become alive when I play with them and when I customize them and then you do horrible things to them and then give them sentience so they have to remember like all the shit that they've done purely just to do

that to them. I love it. That's another movie. See like, listen guys if there are any anybody's listening to this if I see this movie in theaters in like the next like 15 years I'm suing the shit out of you. Oh absolutely. All right. This is our

This is our creation. Yeah. Even Spider-Man, even if Spider-Man did this, like we could get that, we could win that lawsuit easily, especially if we had that brilliant prosecutor. From the Kinn house? Yeah, the Rittenhouse. Is it true that you played hopscotch?

The name of your, the name of your Twitter page was, dude, did you see that when he was like, when he was like, the name of your TikTok page was come for hot horrors. Or like, or like doors more horrors. Four doors more horrors or something. Yeah. He was like, yes, that was my TikTok name. That's fucking awesome.

So ridiculous. They were so terrible. Oh, man. They fucked it up. Anyway. I see you like the Grand Thefados. Yeah. Two in particular.

Could you explain that to me? Guys, we. Who the fuck likes Gandafoto? We have to talk. Oh man. I want to talk about this. Fucked. The GTA,

the Grand Theft Auto remasters are amazing. They're so broken. I didn't believe it was that bad until I started looking into it. I thought people, you know what I thought? I thought there was a handful of people that got a raw deal.

And I'm just like, okay, I get it. But I looked into it. I was like, I can't believe what I'm seeing. I cannot believe it. It's infathomable, bro. It's infathomable. That is the worst looking game I've ever seen.

It's not like, like it's bad, bro. Like, I don't know what the fuck happened. The fucking rain. The fucking rain. I cannot believe what I saw. The rain looks so shitty. I kid, like I urge everybody who's listening to this. Look up.

Grand Theft Auto the trilogy the definitive edition rain effect you will not you will be disappointed but also you will be staggered I have never seen

worse looking and you know what's hilarious did you see the screenshot of the rain rendering underneath the water so like so if you're looking at

if you're looking at like an ocean and it's raining it'll rain but the ocean will like be layered on top of the rain oh my god It's incredible.

I'm no developer. I would need so much time to understand the code to begin working on something like that. But come on. Like, that's fucking... There is no excuse. Rockstar is like... Ballin.

Dude. Grand Theft Auto 5 sold over 150 million units. That is staggeringly high. That is stupid, stupid high and it makes money all the fucking time. I think it makes billions like every year. So like there's no reason why they couldn't find like a reasonable studio to go into those old games, redo the graphics, like update the controls a little bit.

It seems like a large undertaking for like, you know, us. You know? Yes. If Rockstar came, if Rockstar publicly announced on Twitter, it's like, hey, we're going to be remastering the old, the all the, all the old PS2, Grand The Thoth Auto Games and the snark tank cast is going to be Helming development by. And they just... I'll be like, what do you?

I didn't agree to this. Yeah, I'd be like, I didn't... Why'd you agree to this? I didn't agree to this. I didn't agree to it. Everyone just expecting us to do it. Chris. You would get a ton of followers and then they'd be waiting to the fucking shit on us.

Oh man. That would be so... Dude, that would remind me when I fucking had to do accounting for, for an RV dealership, but I had no idea how to do accounts receivable or payable. It's the same thing. I had to learn with YouTube. It was fucking terrifying. It was worse than learning how to do something that gets your job.

Like you have to learn how to do this thing. That's your job. Now, like, hey, now you got to learn how to do taxes because it's your job now. And it's like, I've never done my... I go to TurboTax. Yeah. Should I bring all my work to TurboTex? Good luck finding a good luck finding a good tutorial now that the dislike button is all fucked up.

But, no, let's... I saw something yesterday about the Grand The Total. I retweeted it as well because I couldn't fucking believe it. If you wiggle the stick back and forth while you drive, your car slowly gets bigger. No way. No way. It's on your Twitter? Yeah, it's on my Twitter.

I think there's stuff you have to do to like trigger it. But the fact that it's... That can't even happen. The fact that that's even possible. Like, I would recommend. this game to anybody who just does not care. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu. Let's be honest.

Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary.

Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com.

That's M-O-O-D-com to get started. Who just, like, wants something to laugh at? because it really is that bad. It's been a long time since I've seen a game that's so bad, it's funny. And this is one of those where like character models look ridiculous. It's almost as if they put a filter over the original game that says like remaster. No fucking way. Are you watching it?

No fucking way. Your car's getting wider. That's insane. Oh God. It's hilarious. Yeah. The character models is, is staggeringly bad. I can't, dude, they look like some people are trying to pinpoint what they look like. And I told people, go play Mega Man Legends for PlayStation 1. That's what they look like. They look, the feel of these characters, the way that

they look, they just have these weird, like, these big eyes and they just look like fake. you know it's just they drew them a specific way to be like playful and shit like look at this universe of like everybody looks kind of happy and they kind of look like but they're not like it's just they don't look like real people it's so fucking weird where I'm like what is

who because like I don't I just don't understand like they it's like kind of clayish though like the Mega Man aren't like clayish but I'm just saying they don't look like dude it looks like dreams Like for real It looks like It looks like the game dreams I did a video on

On dreams Like a year and a half ago Where I played like this homemade Like Dragon Ball Z game Do you remember it? King Cinnamon like with all the And You were playing in the living room

And it was this fucking bullshit But like the look of it It looks like this game It looks like everybody looks like Clay or almost like Almost like low resolution felt It's like a very strange thing Like, I can't describe how bad this game looks.

It's astounding. But beyond that, just, I can't believe they let this happen. Because I think Rockstar used to talk shit. I think, like, when Cyberpunk came out or, like, something, like, there was, like, some game that catastrophically, like, missed the mark. And they were, like, we would never, uh, we would never release a broken product like that. And then here is, like, this is easily the worst remaster I've ever seen. Like, by, like, bar none.

Like no effort went into this. It's like they ran the game through like a fax machine. Yeah. I mean, because you even saw like some modders. They fixed some of the problems within a, within a few days. Yeah.

No effort. They were just like, oh, this looks terrible. Let me just dig through this code real quick and let me fix the fucking rain that is blinding you. It looks like just jizz or knives are just raining. It looks like knives.

It looks like someone's dropping glue in front of you. And you're like, I don't know where I'm going. It looks like it's raining straws. It's like the strangest fucking thing. It's like so thick and distracted. It looks like static. And they just left it in there. They left it in there. They played it and their QA was like That looks good. Yeah, let's keep that in the game. This wide car is killing me

bro. This is insane bro. The car is just wide as both lanes Oh my fucking god Does it snap back or do you like I don't know I haven't play I only I have I have I have San Andreas and I've been because it's on game pass. The fucking girlfriend dude. His girlfriend. CJ's fucking girlfriend is is is it as a I have no words.

I have no words. I got scared. Dude it's that fucking egregious. Go look at CJ's the girlfriend that you first the first meet and shit and that you know you have fucking problems with this stuff. She looks. It is the funny. I can't believe how bad she looks.

She looks like PlayStation 1 Tayzonde. It's like the strangest image I've ever seen. She does look like Tayzondi. Perfect. It is so fucking bad. This looks really bad. This looks really bad. This looks really shitty.

But I swear to God, I know I'd have fun playing this. So I don't know if that's... know if that's good or bad. Like, I know I'd have a ball. If this was, if this was 20, how much did it cost? Does anyone know how much it costs? This is 60 bucks. See, exactly. See, it's $60.

Like, fuck you. If, like, I can get all three for like 30 bucks or some shit, I would, even with it in it, it's fucked up state. I'd be, you know what, I'm still going to have fun with this. I'll wait for them to patch it up and shit, but I'm going to have fun with the glitches, but I'm not going to fucking play some glitches for $60. Like, I'm not going to play a glitch fetch for $60.

bucks, fuck that, dude. Oh, it's not even on Steam. You can't even get it through Steam. Oh, yeah, they took it off because they still had the fucking hot coffee mod in it. What was hot coffee mod? The sex mod from Grandinthada San Andreas. Yeah, because it was, it was code that they left in the fucking game in the originals. And somehow it happened again.

They didn't take it out. Well, because they ported these, this game is like the mobile version. It's the mobile version of the game. The PSP version. What? That's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And, and I can't stress this enough. I've been playing San Andreas like every now and then. Now I'm not even really touching it because the Halo Infinite's out. I can't even... Yeah. Not enough time. But there is a performance mode and a quality mode in that game. This is a open world PS2 game from 2000 and what?

Four and backwards? It's 2002, three, and four, I'm pretty sure. is San Andreas. I might be wrong, but that's around the era that those games came out. 2005, sorry. Well, San Andreas, right?

Yeah, it was 2005. How the fuck are their frame rate issues? I'm sorry. I just finally watch the fucking wide fucking car. Are you watching the car? It got wider. The fucking wheels are that. That's what broke me.

The wheels. Yeah, the wheels become like, become tetrahedrons or whatever the fuck it's like a fucking mess dude it gets wide it's so fucking funny the fucking frame I can't like I was watching who was it

I forgot which video is why I was watching so many fucking videos anyway it doesn't matter but this you know gaming company whatever that breaks shit down digital foundry that's what I was watching thank you

and yeah it was the what were they saying which one was the best like play They suggested buying the PS4 Pro version and playing it on your PS5 to get the most ability

like stupid shit like that that I can't believe good Which by the way you can't do that anymore Because they took those versions of the game Off the store ahead of this version's release So you can't even play the original

I luckily I bought San Andreas actually Like when it was like out originally on PS4 So I have it But if you didn't manage to like snag those? These are the ones you gotta play. The ones that look like Gumbi

and play at like half the frame rate of modern high intensity fucking video. Dude they look like fucking gumby. They look like Davy and Goliath some of these people. It's yeah. It's fucking moral oral. It's fucking insane. It's so fucking hilarious, dude.

Oh my God. It's real man. Like I can't even like Halo Infinite is more stable than Grant the thought of San Andreas. And Halo Infinite is not even stable on PC. It's not even stable on there. It's good. It works. You get through it.

But like it's not. Yeah. San Andreas is somehow worse. I can't even understand how they manage that. And there's like typos all over it too. Like there's like something like there's a guitar store called guitar wank. And it says guitar hank now. Or like, and like air guitar was like AR guitar.

It's like it's a fucking mess. Yeah. It's too easy, man. It's too easy to make fun of them right now. It's just, it's just too easy. The, the mistakes are,

it's, it's, it doesn't make sense. It's like, it's like, you know what it reminds me? It's like, you see,

you always see that kid that fucking just blazes through his test and you think, oh wow, that guy fucking killed it. And he just, you figure out later, he just guessed and he got everything fucking wrong. It's like that,

like, it feels like they just worked on it. Like, I just blazed through this shit. They're like, oh, we killed it, son. And they just sat on it and never did a fucking thing. And they had months to work on it. I really feel like you have to try to make a game this, to make a remaster this bad.

Because I've seen mods. I've seen player-created mods where, like, they bring, like, Vice City into GTA 5. And, like, and, uh, or they redo character models from older games in the GTA-5 engine. And they look great. Dude, my fucking, my San Andreas, uh, Be it crashes every once in a while, but it looks fucking gorgeous. Like the way that I modded it, it looks amazing. Yeah.

And I'm just, and I was expecting like, oh, cool. Like, I can, I can just delete this and then I can replace it with the defense. And I'm like, oh, never mind. Yeah. Never right. I'm good. What a mess. I forgot that that even happened.

I'm so glad read the thought it came up because we would have missed that and it would have been a crime to miss that because that shit is fucking fun. Dude, I love that Gumbie fucking rider. I love fucking his gumbie arms. His arms look like the Arbiter's legs. It is the strangest. It is the strangest thing. That's so far, dude.

It's real, though. Like, it looks so terrible. I saw him so much on my timeline. I couldn't stop laughing. Because he was like one of the most egregious. It was like him and the girlfriend. Did you see that Did you see that guy

Somebody sent it to me Where this dude His fucking His skin He looks like he has the worst case Of Vidaligo Like his it's like this Like he's almost all white

But like there's some You can see some of his black skin And it's like I was like dude This is I guess it's in the game Kudos to whoever The fuck captured that shit

Yeah Friends of thought of San Andreas Now with less black you want less black we can give it to you here it goes it's not a glitch it's a feature they wanted to be more inclusive because when you ever see people with Vidaligo in a fucking video game that's true

we never see the paliners ever I can't even think of like I can't even think of a I think Deadpool 2 had that Domino right or something yeah that was kind of cool actually I think I really I actually appreciated that interesting

does Domino have Vidalgo really well in the movie she did. In the movie she did. Yeah, it was a way of explaining... Dumb white bitch. Yeah, it was a way of explaining the fucking... I think she had like a thing on her eye. I don't remember that movie very well, to be honest.

Yeah. Yeah, it's something. But, uh... I remember liking it. I liked that, but it wasn't as good as one. One was great. I love that. Yeah, one was fucking...

It was just, because it had so little to work with it. It just, I love, like, when you have that... They did the... They made the most out of what they could do, and it was fucking great. Yeah, for sure. Let's get some questions, dude. Yeah, let's get into some.

We've beat the shirt of Grandsav Auto for the last. For the last, like, 20 minutes. He's beating it. It's beating up. Yeah, yeah, we're done. We'll get into some questions. Let's see. Let's see.

Let's see. Oh, just, so Zero the Italian, parentheses, not white, rodent. And he said, whatever. He just said, just to set y'all's gray matter straight from last week, nothing changed in black light or backlight technology in the early 2000. The Sega Game Gear in 1991 had a backlight and needed six AA batteries that it murdered like nobody's business because of it This should also help settle white cars with giant car batteries could also utilize black lights Or backlights so that's fair. I totally forgot about the Sega game gear

I I I totally remember the the fucking You know the game gear no, I don't It was fucking cuz Sega always released superior products, but they just didn't sell well Say a Saturn was fucking superior Superior product, fucking this game gear, Dreamcast. Like, they're always ahead of the curve of technology, but the shit just didn't sell.

But, like, that was their fucking Game Boy Color. That was, it's fucking, and it actually had some decent games on it. Yeah. But the thing is, it took six fucking batteries to run, like I said, six double A's. So playing it mobily was just retarded. There was just not, there's no point to do it. Something had to have changed, though, if they were able to make it work with only two batteries. Well, no, no, no, no.

Well, that's the thing. It's like, well, it's just. it got better, like the technology got a little better, I would imagine, right? Or the battery. There was no breakthrough in backlight, just that the backlight became more efficient in the way it was used. Yeah. Like it didn't just show up.

Okay, that's what he meant. Yeah. Because that's, that has to be something different. That's how that works. Because I didn't know anybody with a game gear, and I knew, I knew what it was, but like nobody. I didn't. Because that thing flopped on, man. It was like, hard.

Sega was, uh, they're so strange. It's a strange company because they really were ahead of the curve, but They just, like, were too ahead of the curb on many. Like, even just with the Dreamcast, including the Ethernet Port and, like, all that, like, online functionality, like, back in, like, when it was, like, 98. Yeah, 98. That was, like, crazy. That was, like, crazy innovative. And, uh...

That's crazy. The Nintendo Switch just got Ethernet port. Just know its console. Yeah. It's wild. That's a wild thing. That's craziness. It's just...

It's weird because things that are objectively better, it's almost, you know, it's almost, like it doesn't even matter sometimes because like timing matters more than anything. You know, like, uh, it's like with Microsoft when they were like, hey, we invented the tablet computer before most people had laptops. So like, no one's going to get a fucking tablet computer in the fucking 90s when barely anybody has a laptop because laptops are fucking expensive. And even home computers aren't all that common. So like, the fuck, what are you doing?

A tablet? And then 10 years later, Apple's like, hey, look, we invented the tablet. computer and everybody had phones and shit and everybody's like oh cool and Microsoft is like the fuck I still don't understand they use for tablets I just don't I don't get them I don't get them yet like maybe if you draw I guess they're good they're good for drawing but like I I am also kind of baffled by it like they're too inconvenient they're too in not computer yeah computers enough to be computers they're not phones success starts with your drive an American public university is here to fuel it

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com.

Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American-owned,

family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D.com to get started. It's too fucking big to be phone. Like, you can't put it in your pocket. Like, so it's just inconvenient.

Like, I don't get it. Like, I have a PC or I have a PC and a laptop. And I'm like, these are both fine for their own thing. It's just for people that fucking, I mean, I mean, to me, it's like you just use your laptop, right? Because, like, say, I see a lot of people using their tablets while they're watching TV or some shit. And so my whole thing is, well, I can put my, you know how it's called a laptop? Maybe a lot of people don't realize that because a lot of people just call them notebooks now.

And so, yeah, I mean, if you look at a lot of stores or if you look at the branding, it usually says NB for a notebook. That doesn't typically just say laptop, but it's the same fucking thing. That's so weird. Yeah, it's just a branding thing. Fuck if I know. I just remember shopping for some shit. And I was like, what the fuck is a notebook? And then I started looking.

I was like, no, these are just laptops. I don't understand the difference. Yeah, that reminds you like when they started doing Chromebook, you know? Ah, yeah. I was like, the fuck is happening. Homebooks suck. Oh my God. Yeah, they're really, they really have such close software, man.

It's crazy. My friend bought one for like $200 and he tried to like, he tried to do anything on it. Everything on it was closed. He was like, I'm just going to hack the fuck out of this. so I can use it viably on something and then it broke that sucks yeah there you go yeah like you have this surface right my old surface yeah I have the surface how's that thing holding up I I don't know it still works pretty good I'm probably on getting a new I'm probably gonna get the newest one maybe black fight because I know it's like crazy deal on like the new one is like

$300 opposed to it being like 700 yeah well so I might snag one of those up fair fair so guys thanksgiving's next week isn't that crazy that is really disgusting Oh yeah, that's weird. Especially because I'm just not really thankful, you know. I don't think for anything. Like, I just don't. I don't care about anyone. I can't.

In fact, I can't care. It's dangerous. All right. It's scary. I can't care about people. Let's get on to another question before this gets dark and grim. The Eldon Ring porn parody starring Ron Jeremy as Taurus Demon. Yes, the boss theme plays when he enters the room.

Hello, registered cringe offenders. Coming off of Travis Scott raising his KD last week, what's your worst experience at a concert gig or club that ended particularly bad? Best I got was walking back from a paint party covered in green paint looking like Shrek eating chips while my friend got sucker punched in the mouth because I knew I was far too drunk to do anything about it.

What? Damn, you just let your friend get fucked up and you eat chips. He was too drunk to do anything about it. You got to try, though. No, he knew his limits, man. He knew he was like, I'm going to get us both killed if I jump in there. He'll walk it off.

You gotta at least try, bro. So is it just a show or did you say parties? I missed that. Experience at a concert gig or a club or like, I guess like anything that's out. Okay. Yeah, if he says club, then I can, I can, I can, uh, there's a party because the show, I don't really have a bad experience in a, at a show really, other than, you know, being kind of suffocated because it was at capacity.

But that was not, that was like, okay, whatever. I just have to not be in the fucking pit anymore. Or not be in the crowd. I have to stand out on the outskirts and breathe. But I went to a party in Norwalk. And Norwalk's just full of a bunch of degenerates. Like they're like, you know, it's just right before fucking, like, I don't know.

It's like the people in the east, like of L.A. have something to prove, I guess. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck it is. But there was this party. And I first of all, I felt like I don't think I got. I just think somebody has something extra in their four loco because I was like, drinking and I got somebody shit

and after a while I was feeling fucking weird that fights broke out fucking uh my fucking some people were fighting on on the side of my car and they broke my side of view mirror and then I was I was wearing flip flops too that night because I was just lazy whatever a fucking pit bull was just in the backyard just chilling

and it came up a bit my fucking foot I was like what the fuck is this shit Pit bull bit your foot A pit bull bit bit yeah literally Mr. Worldwide, not the Cuban guy. He was in his fucking suit. And he just like,

wish getting it all. He just chimneys up to you and bites you on the fucking angle. Get the fuck off of me. Pitbull. What the hell's matter with you? And he was like, I don't know, man.

I'm, I don't know, man. I'm, I don't know, man, I'm me. That's my excuse for biting you as a human man.

I'm sorry. I just got crazy. You know, I just got crazy. You know, He's like, what do you expect? I'm a fucking pit bull. That's what he said.

He says that. I'm a fucking pit bull you expect me to do. I'm a fucking animal. You fucking idiot. Why are you asking me stupid shit? I should bite you again. He starts barking a. I want to see that shit.

But yeah, it was a terrible night. Fucking my car got a little broken because some idiots. I heard there might have been some shooting and stuff, but I don't know I think it was a fucking have you had bro it was a wild part

like okay I went to the chance when I was 18 years old it was supposed to be 21's night you already know what is going Chris you already know the chance is the

the chance is the upstate club in like the town where I went to high school that we all have been to before me Chris all of our friends I went there one day and I was just like I was just there

to have a good time. I went with my at the time white girlfriend who was from Wapinger's Falls. There's some steak on there. Huh? You know, my white girlfriend. Yeah, you know, I was a fool. I dated white women once upon a time. I'm a fool for that. But, but so I went with her and we were, we were just there. We got it. So what is we got in? Dude, I kid you not. Gun revealed. And I'm like, Bro. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at appu.apus.edu. It's cozy season and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket.

Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original best blanket ever. Visit minkie Couture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet. Bro. What? She's never been in a place like that.

I was like, yo, what's going on? What's about to happen? What's going to happen? Next, you know, everyone started fighting. People started getting pushed. Shit started getting crazy. I mistakenly knock over my girlfriend.

And I was about to run out and leave her. But then I realized I brought her there and she's my girlfriend. Oh my God. And she drove. So I had to help. her up and get out of it.

Oh my God, that's the only reason you went back is because she drove. That's not the only reason why, but that's definitely one of the. It totally is. Okay. And I was just like, I'm sorry. Like, are you okay? She was like, what the fuck is going on here? Like, I want to go home and we went home and we broke up like a week later because she

could tell that I was going to leave her. She could feel it and I was just like, yeah, well, that's a good. I was going to leave you. She was a smart girl. I was going to leave that bitch. I was going to let her die. I was going to let her die on her own. I was going to let her.

Clearly. Clearly. You're a terrible person. Yo, dude, when a gun gets involved, I'm not, I'm not a hero. Lily will leave me and I'll leave Lily and they will meet up somewhere else. That's why she's my, that's my number one. Right. That's hilarious.

The chance is, it's terrible. It's a terrible place. Chances is horrible. I remember I walked into the chance. I can't remember what reason. Like, it was like something was going on with like friends of mine or some fucking something. I walked in the chance and I had to make a call because I had to coordinate with people like, oh, hey, because the plans had changed were ended up with the chance.

So I had to go out and call people. It was too loud in there. I spent 10 minutes in there. I come in, I go out again to make the call, two cars on fire. And I decide, I don't know. But the fire truck was there. It was like, there was like spraying. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I didn't call. I just texted like, hey, there's a fire here. We might do something else. And I go back into the chance and there's like people like crying. I don't know what the fuck's going on. And I'm like, this is too much for me. I'm going to leave. I didn't ask any questions. But the chance is a place. You take a you take a chance by going, I think. That's why it's called. Perfect name. Perfect name. And fucking Mahoney's. Oh my guy. You've been to Mahoney's. I've been to Mahoney's Irish pub, of course. Mahonies is terrible. I've went to Mahoney's and I saw a bro. all happening.

Like they were like people like I've never seen it like that before like it's like in a video game or like when right then where you see people like connecting with each other but they're just hitting each other back and I'm just like how are their fist not clashing like they're just getting hit and it's throwing punches back and I'm like what the fuck is this place I want to go home I want to go I want to get out of here but I couldn't go home because I was Mahoney's like your guys is like Waffle House you know because what's our Woffice where's a place that fuck shit happens every time Chris? I definitely

probably one of those places. No, there's a crazier place. There's no, there's no crazier place. There's a place. What place is just like there's always some, the wreck, there's always some fuck shit happening, literally. There's not, there's not,

we don't have a waffle house equivalent. I would say like it's more like it's just spread out and it's almost like a public event in like a video game where it's just like, oh, it's just, Something's happening here now. And it could be anywhere, man. Like, it could be like in the back of like a McDonald's.

It could be at Walmart at 6 a.m. I know. I know where it is. It's either Walmart or it's fucking somewhere on Main Street and Poughkeepsie. Main Street, Poughkeepsie at nighttime, you have no clue who you're going to run into. It's like a place where random enemies from across the entirety of the game can spawn there. Like anything. You could fight a fucking goblin or you can fight a fucking goblin or you can fight a fucking

elderly dragon. Like it's just anything as possible. Anything, anything goes on Main Street. Yeah, that's why I never go there. It's so fucking crazy, dude. But yeah, I don't know. I don't have that many. I've gotten, like, drunk at places and just, like, ruined bathrooms, you know. Did I ever tell you guys the Florida been jumping me? Did I ever tell you guys that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was, that was actually at a fucking show. I was on tour with this band. I completely forgot about that till right now

But I don't I was just saying I don't want I don't need to retell the story but just I was just Inside the venue where I should have been It was a manager of a band got the shit kicked out of him you need to stitches And I was outside of the venue getting drunk as shit with some locals And then just to make this story short Uh Some fucking chick that I was drinking with three girls approached her and started beating the fuck out of her And I thought this is unfair

I broke it up and then all of a sudden somebody gets me in a headlock I'm thinking it's somebody I'm on the tour package with dude tosses me and then I get up to see who the fuck it was and I'm just looking confused and drunk and then he starts hitting me in the face and I'm like oh I guess we're fighting I didn't know what was happening I was so confused

so then two other people joined in I started fighting these random people not understanding what happened and then it gets broken up somehow we almost got hit by a car because I went into the fucking street. I would have threw whatever into the car, honestly. I'm not above doing some fuck shit.

If I was so confused. I was working on, I was working on polishing like a 12 pack. I had flip-flops on. I didn't know what the hell. I was so confused while I was getting attacked. Then afterwards, some guy walked up with a knife.

And I was just like, dude, you're not going to do shit with that. And he was like, like there was so many people outside of that point. I was like, you're not, I was like, you're not going to do shit with, like, you'll, you will get the knife taken away from you will die. But like, he just wanted to be like tough and he was walking up like what?

Like, I was like, dude, I fucking hate Florida so much. Winter Park, Florida. If anyone is from Winter Park, Florida, you're fucking, you're, you're, you're, you're, your, Chernobyl. You're United States, Tramobile, dude. Fuck out of you. Florida is so, Florida is literally the most insane place in this country, bro. It is really out of pocket.

that place. It is so in like it doesn't make sense like you like when when I say that Florida's so crazy that people go swimming in places where there are alligators like that's not uncommon. They do that. They do that. It rains in one part of the city and then you can see where it's not raining somewhere else. The people fucking people just have pet fucking gazelles and shit like it's just everything Florida is the Bermuda triangle but in a state it's just Iraq

it's Al-Qaeda it's Iraq it's just the fucking everything that's going wrong in the world is born on a floor It is a fucking It is a genuinely

fucking insane insane place Like the whole like When you hear about that Right when you hear about people swimming with alligators And then you hear like You know

Florida man Eat you know Or something Yeah Bath salt thing. Yeah, yeah, the bath sauce thing. How do you feel,

how do you feel when you read a story like that? Like, man swims with alligators, dies. Because I feel like the proper reaction is, oh, I feel so terrible. But I can't feel it.

Come on, why would you do that? That's mine. Like, I feel bad because it's just people being stupid, you know, like, and I've done idiotic things more than once.

But it's just like, come on that level. Not on. But you see the guy, fucking trapping the gator in the trash can that went viral not that long ago i did see that the gator was in his lawn and then he's just like hey i'm gonna deal with this with a fucking trash can hey you're going on i'm gonna get this in a trash can i'm gonna throw it away it's so fucking stupid like only in florida anybody else would just call like somebody to do their job hey could you

please remove this dinosaur from my lawn please and you remove this actual dragon from my fucking premises Like I'm not equipped to deal with this It's crazy is that there's one time I've agreed I've greeted a flirtians with some guy would kidnap the doctor To try to make his dog a mortal I tweeted that and I couldn't believe it He kidnapped a doctor to I Fucking know this story and he came back the next day bro He fucking kidnapped this bitch and then fucking after the you know like the thing got

Foyled like in the whole hostage thing was in he fucking bounced. He came back the next day. And he was like, hey, it was good, son. And then they arrested him. Bro, I don't, I don't think he's wrong. I don't think he was wrong. Yeah, I mean, I don't think so either to be out.

He wanted immortality for his best friend. Like, yeah, so he held a doctor hostage or a scientist or whatever. Yeah, niggas, tell me some shit. Give me some fucking advice. You know better than anybody else around how to do this. But only the, but it's like, it's really only the Florida guy would come back the next day. Like just inquiring, like, hey. I know yesterday got a little crazy.

Yeah, the New York version of that is, it does exactly the same thing except he books it to North Dakota, you know? Like, he's not coming back. He goes to Jersey. He goes to Jersey. And he's like, all right, I've never done. No one's going to look for me here. No one's going to find me in Jersey.

In Jersey? You know what's fine? He lost to Jersey, the fucking cracked streets with fucking lava spewing out of the ground, like fucking Mustafa, but it's Jersey? Isn't it wild? How easy it used to be? for people to just abandon their lives and set up shop. So, like, you could get on a horse and, like,

ride for, like, maybe, like, five miles and be, like, in a new town and just set up a new life. It's like, no one from that other town five miles away is going to hear about me. Like, I'm a new person. And now it's like, you can't do shit, man. You can't do anything now. And genuinely start a life somewhere else different,

like, completely different life. Like, for real. Like, that was real once upon a time. You could rape and. murder a family and then you can just ride a few miles. I'm sure plenty of people have done that. I'm here looking for work, man.

I'm just a quiet man looking for work that rapes every now and then. That's something here to do. Just a little bit. Hey, no, damn it, he let it slip and now he's got to go ride for another 10 minutes. Now he's got to go to another town. Jesus Christ. Anyway, let's get back to some of these questions. Let's see what we got here.

Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the

kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sour. from small American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started.

Oh, well, James Passmore, we already answered your question. But I'll just read it for posterity. James Passmore written, hey, what's your opinion on the old GTA definitive edition? I'm having a blast playing the older games for relatively the first time for context. I was three when San Andreas came out. Yeah, well, you've definitely got a definitive edition on your hands, buddy. It's defined by something. It's defined as broken, you know.

Jake Conklin do be gay, though, wrote in. He says, I don't know. He says, hello Doug Dimidome, owner of the Dimmesdale Dimidome. working in a warehouse, I once witnessed a forklift that weighs three times the weight of my car hit a rebar and forced cement wall at full speed and it continued driving

like it never hit anything. Do you have any stories from a time where you realize the full danger of the physics of the world? That's fucking crazy. Like, when you just realize things aren't as strong as they appear to me? I saw a video of a guy hit by a car

and he blew up and I was like, oh, that's not real. No, it was a bus and there was spliced. Like he got hit by a bus that was going fast. That's not real. That can't be real. You don't explode when you're hit by.

Like you don't explode, but you rip apart. Well, you, I mean, definitely tear apart. Like with enough force, you have to be going, the thing has to be going very fast. But it's possible the bus is going insanely fast. Because like, I've seen people explode by getting hit by a train. I've seen that. I saw a horse get hit by a train.

And it was the least funny thing ever saw in my life. What did you know? It was like way too much meat, bro. It was immediately unfunny. Wait, what did you say? I was like a horse gave by a train. And I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. There's so much meat getting like that must look.

Like a light of fling into you, hit you and kill you. Let's stay up. Blow. From the grave. Damn, dude. Hill joy. I'm pretty sure I saw somebody run over a bear. Like when I was in, I was in the northeast.

Like, I can't remember if I was in New Hampshire, Vermont or whatever, but we were driving to Maine. And what I saw on the freeway, it couldn't, it wasn't a deer. There was so much meat and blood all over the fucking, all over the freeway. A bears? And it looked like possibly bear stuff? Like, for, because it didn't look like, because you see deer get smacked all the fucking time, right? But I was like, what is, what is, what is shredded apart on the freeway right now?

A bad motherfucker. Motherfucking hit a fucking Yeti with a semi. He fucking, that is. last one. You know what's another crazy thing? I saw, um, what you call it? Can you imagine the last, the missing link gets found, but it's, it just gets hit by a semi. It just gets unceremoniously destroyed in a car accident. That'd be so fucking sad. Fucking middle ground between freaking humans and fucking other ape and it gets hit by a car by some yokel.

He was fucking be in his dick while driving. He just fucking. He's penis. Oh no! he comes, I'm gonna come eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Just some fucking his knees are, he's staring with his knees, staring with his knees. He's saying with his knees

being his dick in the horn. He's sitting a fucking horn full of the day at the same time. Just going crazy. No fucking pants, but you know he's got the fucking plaid shirt on his shit, but he drives with no pants. Beep, me, bha, bha.

fucking tycho fucking plows through the missing link he's fucking dead and he doesn't miss a beat I mean he doesn't even miss a beat like he fucking slaughters this fucking creature

and he's just like doesn't even stop still doing it doesn't stop blood over his windshield he can't even see calls his wife calls his wife do you understand

what just happened to me in Biden's America I hit an illegal I hit an illegal it's a fucking Sasquot It is a head to toe furry It is not Even remotely human

It's like it's lodged in his fucking grill He's like a fucking God damn illegal God damn Mexicans He's trying to pull it out Monkey head just fucking in the grill. Like a quilt,

like a puffy quilt through a chain link fence, man, just burrowed in there. Oh my God. I can't get over it. That is wild. Anyway,

I don't know what your question was, but I don't remember at all. How the fuck did we get to? I don't know. This is getting hit. Oh, physics and shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Terrifying shit. I saw, I saw a bear attack a car one time. And I thought cars

can prevent bears from getting inside. But I did too, yeah. That's not even, dude, I saw the bear rip through the metal of the car. I'm not even surprised. And I was just like, oh, no, then you know, then you saw blood on the window. And I was like, ah, man. Oh, fuck.

It was, ah, man. Do you know those park trash cans, the barrels that are like dense metal? Yeah. The scariest thing I ever saw was at the park, Bear Claws dent the fuck. thing and I'm like I don't want to be here anymore. Like it was fucking that was way fucking figure the car sheet fucking bullshit car metal. I thought that metal was like impervious. Like I don't know what I watched to make me have so much faith in like generic pin or aluminum.

But like I was just like, you can't rip through metal. I can't do it. But you know what it is? Yeah, you know what it is? You see those, you see those old cars getting to car accidents where they just, they don't break it all because they're made out of metal and they didn't they were made specifically to protect the car and not anybody who is inside it yeah so like so the car sustains no damage and all the damage gets thrown into your bones it's like it's like we're used to that and that's like the perception of how strong a car is and also

you just know like you just you touch a car it's a fucking strong thing you can't break it you can't you can't punch a car into paste you know you're a fucking person you're not riu yeah i was I was much to say. But then you see a bear just tear through it like it's wet toilet paper and you're like, this is like a really... Can we talk? This is... So this is...

Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.

It's cozy season and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you feel it, you're not. You'll understand why it's called the original best blanket ever. Visit minky couture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet. We'll get over it really quick. I don't want this to be an obvious thing.

But honestly, for real, I thought a plane would go through a building. You know what I mean? You would, you would assume, you would assume because of how big planes are. You're not wrong. I thought of what just went through the building. Like when I first saw that, and I think everybody knows what we're talking about. Yeah, of course.

I thought for sure that, like, oh, like part of me thought it was like, that can't be fucking, that's why I thought like when I was a child, I was like, this is a movie that's happening. They're filming a movie. Like, that's what my understanding because I couldn't understand it at the time.

But like, it just goes through the, it's almost like a magic trick. Like somebody goes like, you know what I mean? Like one of those? I did it wrong because I wasn't paying attention to it. I know to me, though. The fucking,

I just thought for sure it would, go through it. And then the fact that it hits the building and disappears. That kind of blew my mind. And it made me feel really unsafe in planes, like still to this day. Not because I saw one crash, but because I know that it can't withstand a building. Yeah. Especially like, if it was

maybe like not a skyscraper, which are, they have that, you know, they're built with that in mind. Even though they never think that's ever going to happen, it's supposed to be like, oh, these will withstand a plane crash. I mean, it didn't really withstand it. It, fucking, I mean, look, that's up for debate. That part's up for the debate. It got hit by it.

I don't know. Maybe the new ones might be able to withstand it. Maybe a little bit there built a little sturdier. You know, yeah, maybe that. But it was, you got to give, you got to give credit to the, I mean, maybe not credit, but the niggas that did the thing. They did their thing, you know. Like, like, what do you mean?

They did like. I apologize. I apologize for my earlier comments. You do not. under any circumstances, gotta hand it to Al-Qaeda. You know? You got any props to these. Props to these terror, no.

Like, if maybe like, like, they had a goal, you know, they, they had a goal and they wing the tip of the building, like the tip of it. Wing the tip of it. They were about it, bro. Like, they're not like us in America that don't have, like, real conviction.

They were like, well, we're doing this. Those are going to be virgins up there, like 72? Like, I'm going for this and they went for it. You know what's interesting to me about, like, the way that building fell. I'm not gonna get conspiratorial, by the way. I just mean it's like it's an interesting kind of thing where it's like,

New York is a place where like everybody like, the attitude is like I'm gonna keep to myself, everybody keep to themselves. Like get the fuck out of it. Like I got a place to be. And I always found it amusing that even like when a building is falling down, it's like, you know what,

I'm gonna stay in my general area. I'm not gonna fall over or anything. I'm gonna, I'm gonna stay on my plot and just fall this way. Straight down. Because I don't want to be like a complete nuisance. In L.A., in L.A., in L.A., that building would have toppled. That building would have, like, fall.

It would have, it would have, it would have, it would have. No, but that would, no, no, no, no, no. But in L.A., that's how it would happen. In L.A., that's what it would happen. Because you can see earthquakes that have made buildings fall over. But earthquakes are very different circumstance. Well, see, that's where the conspiracy. That's where the conspiracy comes from, though.

the way that it did fell was in like a controlled demolition. That's why people go so crazy about that one. They're like, uh, this felt like how buildings fall when you're doing controlled demolition. So then people lost their minds. People are so stupid. That's not how that works.

Well, it's not even, well, it's, I wouldn't even say that stupid because it literally did fall that way. It's just not like, but that's a fact, but it's just what happened, happen,

you know? Like, what happened is like if it, if it might have felt that way, if they hit the bottom and as it's falling, you know, there's wind and X, and X,

X, Y, and Z happening. So maybe you would, tilt down. It can just get like at one part. It can get weak. And yeah, like a lot of the it just, look, this is the only thing I'm going to say, we're going to, we're going to move on. This is the only thing I'm going to say about this shit. The only thing I'm saying about this thing is that I understand people who are crazy about this shit because the Occam's Razor, what people love to use doesn't apply that day whatsoever. A bunch of first things that ever

happened happened that day. That's true. You can't like, Occam's Razor is completely out window and some people who have crazy theories make more sense than the the chaos that happened because of how chaotic it was so i don't get i don't get crazy about that shit i'm like you know what dude if you read people's accounts of what happened you're like oh this is the wildest story that no one ever believe if you fucking you know explain that that never heard this shit all i'm saying is this i remember a time in my life where i brought up in school maybe in like seventh grade that cocaine crack cocaine was brought into

black communities by the CIA and I was told I was wrong. I remember saying that and being told by a teacher that I was wrong. A teacher's CIA. I remember being told that. I remember being saying like, oh yeah, it was introduced to the community. It was like,

where did it come from? It didn't just pop the fuck up up and being told that's that's hogwash. Mr. King's Mr. Kingston. Just tell that bitch to watch New Jack City, and that's it. And I was like, no, I have family members who, from, from areas like that where they said it was introduced by these random officials.

Mr. Kingston, Mr. Kingston, what you're saying is out of line. I've never did any of that. You're my teacher. You're my teacher. Why would you, why would you have done that? Go to the, go to the, go to the detention room. Yeah, and I'm just like, okay. You heard nothing.

You leave the room and he addresses the class. It's like, that did not happen. I promise you. And then years later, it becomes common knowledge. And I'm like, I said this. But that happened to me in school a bunch. I talked about Juneteenth in school and I was told I was wrong. And by a teacher to my face, I was told I was wrong.

All your teachers are CIA. All your teachers are CIA. My teacher, okay, Mrs. Pam, she is my, my algebra. She was my algebra one teacher. Like the spray butter? Yeah. Yeah, basically. And this fucking broad

We weren't even talking about anything like controversial She was just talking about like I don't know how this happened And maybe it was an appropriate conversation But I think we're talking about Macon or some shit And she was talking about like When you make out with somebody You you lick their teeth

And I was like What? I mean I do I do but like I don't think everybody does Wait I just Are you fucking with me or are you just like I like my girl's teeth.

The whole thing, all fucking around. Yeah. Yeah. Under the gums. Under the gums. I fucking till. So like, go under where the teeth are. So there's like the French kissing, right?

Where you do the tonsil hockey, as they say. Where you fucking, they say, oh, master kisser can tie a fucking knot with the cherry stem, you know, because you're just supposed to be using your tongue action on the other tongue action or whatever. I've never heard of licking someone's disgusting. fucking teeth that has food stuck in between it. I don't know. I'm not like I play Franks Natchez that life

that's life. If other people I mean we were all we were all tripping in the class you know maybe there's something to it if this I was just assuming that her fucking freak ass parents or somebody just taught her some some crazy shit that was supposed to happen. Talk about her because the best blow jobs in history.

Probably not she's probably fucking teeth in the fuck out of it tearing your skin off dude. What the fuck? You know what's wild? You know what's wild? This is not I don't think this is This is a coincidence

More than anything And just more interesting I'm not suggesting anything by this But like in high school I had a very cool teacher A very cool English teacher Who's like very very interesting He like was on the development team

For like gecks And he like we lived in Hong Kong Very strange person And he I remember This memory came to me recently We were talking about, I think,

vocab words or something, and something happened, it was like a vocab word about pandemics, and he said, this is 11th grade, so this was like 2010 for me. This is like,

we're definitely due for one of these in the next 10 years or so. And I were being like, ha, you're funny, you worked on gecks. And, you're gonna look them up now? You're gonna look them up and be like,

Dude, what did you do? You know, it's wild. I tried to look him up recently. Like, Veronica tried to help me. Find him. Can't find him. He's gone. He's not even in our yearbooks.

He went to space. Which is fucking crazy. What do you mean he's not in your yearbook? Because he's like, you know how like when people aren't there for picture day? It's just their names listed. It's that every single year. He never did a picture. There was a black guy in my yearbook named Alfonzo.

That never existed. Because I'm telling you, In my graduating class, and this was my senior year, there was only three other black dudes. There was me. There was Josh. And then there was, I think Sam was still going to school at the point. But there's just three of us.

There's three niggas. But there was this guy named Alfonso in the yearbook. He didn't exist. He never, no one ever saw this guy ever. I've asked him like, dude, do you ever see this guy on a picture day or anything? He was like, no. He was one of the slow kid classes. That's why you didn't see him probably.

No, probably. We didn't even have... No, I was in those classes. No, I was in those classes. He definitely wasn't there. Oh, we know. We did have remedial learning. We did.

Because I remember there was this dude named... I don't know why. I was good. This is a name Anthony. That was... He didn't make it. He was like 6, 5. And he had clown feet.

And he was, he was a little slow. But we were like, dude, this fucking guy is... I've never seen feet. this big before. Like it was like fucking Shaq. You ever see Shaq wear fucking like dress shoes? It's the funniest fucking thing ever. It's insane.

His shoes are so fucking big. Dude, I gotta find this picture of him like he's promoting this water and he's wearing these dress shoes and it looks at fucking shit. It's like a cloud trying to be fancy. Seeing Shaq next to regular people. It's, it's pretty funny.

There's a life size, uh, Shaq poster in, um, an office max or office depot or whatever. because he promotes that fucking shit too for whatever reason. He partially owns it. He's a genius.

He has a bunch of fucking shit. He owns some. I just saw him promoting a fucking hamburger that's as big as his hand. I'm like, who the fuck's going to eat that? It's because he's smart and he knows what to do with his money. He just went investing in a ton of shit. And now he's like very rich. I mean, he's, yeah, it's crazy how much.

Every time I get on Instagram, he's promoting a new thing. The only thing he hasn't tapped into is fucking like, is sex toys. That's all. That's it. That's all he's missing. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. It's cozy season and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort.

Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original best blanket ever. Visit MinkyCouture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet. Is he doing that Is he doing that NFT stuff? I don't think so yet I hope not Because I don't want to lose respect for him I don't want to lose respect for him dude

Like I don't want fucking I ain't down for that shit That shit is so annoying man That's everywhere The problem of this is just everywhere Like I don't even particularly think it's bad ideas I definitely think it's bad I think you're

fucking selling nothing to people It's like a baby on and shit It's money laundering It's money laundering But like when they're like Oh you're like oh, you actually own the actuality of your thing, opposed to giving things that don't normally have worth worth.

I'm like, I can kind of see where that goes. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I'm not going to do it. But at the same time, I could see how this could be, you know,

this could turn into proper. I really, I see nothing. I see every excuse that these fucking swindlers use. I've seen, but like, I'm not going to do this. Well,

you're not going to, but the whole point is taking advantage of stupid people. Yeah. Fuck them. Fuck stupid people. Let them die. I'm sick of I'm sick of everyone giving all these idiots like I'm dude. I'm okay. This is gonna be a rant But these are the reasons why we have laws bro I am not I am not a genius at all But I'm tired of people that do dumb shit getting fucking their hand held when they do shit that's objectively stupid

Bro just pay just just just just just just care just care a little bit about what you're getting involved in and life will be slightly easy Like people just make dumb decisions all the time and I'm like bro That was stupid and that's your fault Yeah and some people who make stupid decisions get bailed out by the government Yeah pretty often And you know it's crazy you know it's crazy I forgot what this called I think some sort of banks were involved in things like that Yeah I don't know

Something stupid and then like one of my close personal life got ruined from it You're talking crazy you're talking crazy Yeah, I don't know your time you're talking crazy This is just a hypothetical all. Yeah. Hypothetically. I think instead of blaming shit on...

Dude, I would rather like, because I don't want, you know, like, say, oh, the excuse stupid people should stop being stupid. I feel like the, I think the owner should be more on malevolent people. I would rather them stop being pieces of shit and taking advantage of stupid people than just having stupid people be smarter. You know what I mean? Nah, malevolence has existed forever, bro.

That's a practice. Of course it exists, but I think it morally... morally it would be better if these pieces of shit that are like you see you see the justification for the internet tees you see them you see the people they're like oh it's like there's no morality oh it's like it's like owning it's like owning the um a piece of a company it's like i've seen so many different fucking excuses of like it's like it's like having ownership i'm like dude shut the fuck up you're scamming people that's it like but you're just trying to feel better about scamming people it sucks i i believe and right but i've been proven time and

time and time and time again that there is no such thing as morality. There's just existence and there's idiot niggas that help your life become easier. That's all it is. This is exactly why we get in these fucked up situations. And I hate it and I hate it because of the fact that my dumb ass is always trying to do the right thing and then this motherfucker comes by and sells fucking comrades and he just becomes a trillion air. You know, it's just a insane cycle.

Dude, I'm with you in the sense that I wish that I was a piece of shit because I want to I would love to have a piece of the nfti pile but I have a conscience that like oh I feel like an asshole fucking people buying shit that they can just screenshot and then have I don't under this pisses me off but just and so many other things too right just I wish I could fucking uh sell people there's like a of some ads that I get they're like hey would you promote this piece of shit game that is fucking terrible and I'm like no I played it it's terrible you know but I wish I could just be like I need money I don't give a fuck hey play coin master this game's amazing you know like fuck that shit

yeah can't do it like I can't do it I wish I could have so much more money isn't amazing that people is isn't it amazing that people could just like walk around and just like do that shit and just like feel nothing like I don't understand how you do it like I wish I could do that like it'd be so I would be like next level powerful. I would be more powerful than Candace Owens bro. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I would be like the, dude, I'm the original like black politics guy on YouTube.

I'm like the OG. And then all of these people like saw what happened with my shit. And then they they turn the notch up to like a thousand and shit like Candice Owens or whoever the fuck. The Hodge twins, so I used to watch. You know, these people were just work out people. Once upon a time. They were just about working out and they started doing just apolitical comedy. I saw them live at the improv and I'm like, oh, these guys are really fucking hilarious just like I thought.

You know, watching the videos. And then they were like, I want that money. And now they're just saying whatever they can and selling these dumbass shirts that have fucking flags on them and stuff. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, they're so rich. They have like over a million subscribers in like fucking a few months. I could do it, but I can't. I couldn't live with myself.

Bro, what you got to do is this. You got to sell your soul or you got to sell your ass. You got to do all the fuck shit. And then once you get in there, once you get in there, once you get in there, once you get in there, once you get in good, you got to betray all the niggas that were there. You got to betray every. You got to betray. Because no one ever betrayers. Everybody wants their money too much.

You know, people get too intoxicated on money. But the thing is that once you're secure, you should not be harboring money. What do you call it? I think Carnegie said this or the Carnegie Grant. He said a person that dies rich. a person that wastes their money, you know, that's had has wasted their lives. You got to, you got to understand that once you're secure, you can't, you can't just keep getting more secure, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fine. You know, do your thing. I would be like, yeah, do all that shit that adventure. I'd be like, you know what, these niggas are lying. Everybody's fucking lying to you. Look at Fox News. Look at the way that niggas hair looks.

None of these guys know what the fuck they're talking about. And just fucking gold, have a Kanye moment like lies and ruin everything for that. Did you see that? Get up and leave. That would be... Legendaries. No one's done it. Yeah, but I feel like there's a reason nobody does it. Because they get killed, but so what?

Maybe, I don't know. Maybe they get Epstein or something. Maybe somebody gets them. Maybe they get just lained. There's no one talks about it anymore. She's probably somewhere fucking kids wherever she is. No, she's... So I tweeted about that.

I was like, what the hell's up with this? It's been a while since we've heard anything about it. Apparently there's like a hearing or something on the 29th of this month. about that so maybe maybe some juicy details the worst thing come out what I know what you're gonna say I know what you're gonna say I hated that I hated that I hated it I saw it I did you didn't have to say it you didn't have to say it bro and I was like oh man I don't want you to give that fucking kid didler any fucking I don't give her I don't respect I don't respect her I don't see see you wouldn't see like look at there's a lot of bitches that like say there's a lot of

like I there's a lot of bitches that I don't like Like I'm talking about just attitude or whatever it is. Like say, say for example, someone that like you can agree with, I don't care if he agree or disagree, but like say AOC, I don't like her attitude. I think she's a fucking bitch. Like just where I'm like,

I don't like the way she behaves. That's it. I don't really care about what you're saying. I would never admit to her that she has an amazing rack because I don't want to give her that respect. You understand what I'm saying. I don't want to like, it's one of those things where you put it out there

and all of a sudden you're like you're giving where it's like I want to disrespect this person and I'm not putting Gislane and her on the same level I'm just saying for example I don't want to put that energy out there to give this person the respect Jis Lane that's fucking crazy

I mean it's something like that but I just always hear Jis Lane and that's her fucking name it is Jislan well it's Gilean but like who cares Gilane Gilein who cares it's a worse version of Elaine like why the fuck would you yeah and I was like don't don't acknowledge those fucking those sweater puppies, man.

Don't acknowledge those fucking cannons. You see what you're doing at? You acknowledge you as well. You didn't even as well. It's all over now. We're fucked. The train is left. You know?

Yeah. I hate her though. They're monsters, but like God fucking damn. Do you ever see an AOC fucking tits, man? Oh my gosh. Holy shit. She of a wreck? I didn't even know.

Holy shit. There's a picture of her. Which is wearing like, she's wearing like a regular. Because she dressed, because she dressed like sharp and normal, right? There's just a picture with her wearing a regular shirt that like fits her. Like just, that just fitted. And I was like, what?

I was like, holy shit. Dude, I was like, yo, AOC's dope. I'm, I'm a huge fan. She got some, she got some tini's on her. Oh my God. What are we doing? How did this happen? Hey, hey, these people are never going to fucking glane, jizzling.

It's like, what's her name? What's that? Old bitch, what's that old bitch from, that's part of the Democratic Party? I forgot her name. What? Hillary? What's her name? No, she was the leader of the Democratic Party.

Pelosi? Yeah. Oh, Holy. Okay, that's fucking, it's gross, but you're absolutely right. She has huge plates, bro. She has huge days, no, no, he's not fucking around. Why do you?

She has, like, she has like triple fucking D's or something. They're massive. Why? Why do you know this? Twitter. Because Twitter. Look, look, look, look, look. I'm not looking at it myself.

But Twitter, that's, you see, you see fuck shit on Twitter every time you go on there. Dude, type in like Pelosi tits on Twitter. I guarantee there will be fucking like, like, what do you call it, posts that have been retweeted thousands of times. Because I remember somebody brought it up. That's the only reason I know. Someone brought it up and took a screenshot of her fucking cans. I was like, holy shit. She has fucking titters, bro.

And I'm like, she has the kind of ones that you would get a breast reduction because that shit hurts. Like it's fucking your backup Oh my Lord It's not a lie dude It's not a lie no lie man Look I understand you're not lying I would never I would never suggest that Success starts with your drive

An American Public University is here to fuel it With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs APU helps you gain the skills and confidence To move forward Whether you're changing careers Starting fresh or pursuing a lifelong passion Our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire. APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. This episode sponsored by Vita Hustle. Why aren't you eating right? Because eating right is hard? Because it isn't. Kevin Hart fixed it four damn years ago with the one.

The one is Vita Hustle's game-changing meal replacing super shake. Inspired by Kevin Hart's passionate belief that we all have the right to eat right. Kevin Hart is referring to himself in the third person because he's fired up because the one just passed five million super shake sold. Five million. Just a quick gut-healthy glass of the one gives you all the proteins, all the greens, and all the vitamins and more. One shake, no chaos. Listeners get 20% off their first purchase at vitahustle.com. Go to vitahustle.com. That's v-I-t-a-hustle.com. But I wish you got a piece on them. But I wish you would.

Peace? What do you mean? What do you, why do you know that? That's where it gets a little skeptical. Wait, Biden's got a shrunk on it. Yeah, you never see, you never see Biden's cabaltoe? It's so impressive. Joe Biden's got a fucking, fucking, fucking, all right.

Sabre of a penis, bro. A saber. They'll call him Biden for nothing. They'll call him fucking. Fucking jabbing Joe. Big Dick. Big, big Joe. Biden. Big Dick Biden.

Broad Dick Biden out here. Fucking breaking people. He doesn't even know where he is. He just doesn't because it's all he's known. I guess I could fuck someone here. Hey,

come here. Biden, stop. Joe, come on. We're in the middle of a conference. Shouldn't be fucking anybody. I'll be done a second. Oh, he has Big Dick Joe is a dick is uh it's pretty impressive it's almost as big as mine I'm Obama let's go bomb Syria Joe

Let's go let's keep bombing Syria it's just the same spot in Syria too It's not even like a new place just like man I something about this place I really like bombing it got into the point where they know where to stand so they could be as close as possible without getting hurt That's how much he's bombed they know that they know the latitude They know the latitude and longitude exactly to the degree They never changed. They just keep pushing the buttons. It's just the same. It's calibrated.

The same drone, just dropping bombs. At least for a few days comes back, drops more bombs. They even recalibrated to make sure it like stays exact. You know, like, in case it waivers over the years. It's like, ah, we got to make sure we get that exact longitude, Joe. Could you imagine standing so close the explosion? You could see the thousands of scorpions. You're just just out of the range of getting hurt.

When I was a young boy, me and Brock, we used to bomb all series every day. We used to bomb people. It was weddings, we bombed. This is, by the way, this is. We bombed high schools. We bombed racetracks. We bombed the subway stations. We bombed subways. Daycares.

We didn't care about any of those brown people. We even bombed the people who made our bombs just for fun. Just to say. See what would happen. That's such a granddad's story to you. We even bombed those who made bombs for us. That would be pretty safe, though. Like, like, oh, thank you so much for making these bombs and like, oh, okay, how do you want to pay us?

And then I'll say, e-e-ha. We have an idea. We do have an idea how to pay you back. I just imagine Joe Biden. I just imagine Joe Biden. I just imagine Joe Biden, like, in the bathroom. And he's like sitting on the toilet. like if there's a spider in the bathtub and he's like, oh, he's like afraid.

And then he just like, Barack, Barack. And then Barack comes in, throws a bomb into the bathtub. Because that's the only thing he knows. Hell the bomb at it. Don't worry, Joe. Don't worry, Joe. I've got you safe. That spider is, uh, no more.

Now come with me and Bo. We're going to take you to someplace where he could bomb some humans in the Middle East. He just bombs and bombs. I heard there's a high school graduation going. on it. I heard it's going to be the bomb. And they start laughing to each other moniically. They laugh like I laughed at the Marvin gay thing. They go, they do it.

You know what the difference? Senior gay. You know what the difference between Obama and a comedian is? Let's hear it, Bo. Let's hear it, Chris. Obama bombs on purpose. Oh, man. That's quite funny. You saved yourself a quick bombing.

would have lit your house up. That wasn't funny. What if we found out in the near future that JFK wasn't sniped? It was Barack Obama with a real tiny bomb. Did you imagine? He has like a little slingshot? Well, this is going to be quite revolting. Dude, how old was he?

He was like, maybe. Like, maybe. Maybe. He was bombing ever since he was a fucking child. That's why he's named Obama. Yeah, Obama. We sound like conservatives, dog. That's crazy.

We sound like, it's just funny. Hey, it's great to make fun of war criminals. What are you talking about? So he was like 90 years old. Just on the top, leap and free. Whatever that guy's name was about to shoot him. He's like, wait a minute, let me try this. I have quite the aim.

Oh, no, wait, no, he was two. Gagga Gugu, Gagga, goo, go go, go, go. Gag, gah, go, go. Gag, gah, boom, boom, gaga, boom. Gagga, gau, gau, gau, gong, gau, giant, fucking sniper rifle. Gagga, roof in Texas, go, gougu, gaga, Kennedy,

Guga, gougu, gougas. He's like, he's like, he's fucking, he's giggling maniacally. He's like a baby. He's like, he's like, he he he he. Go, go, boom. And boom, there he goes. You've got to have the same fucking voice, though. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. I don't know what the hell happened. This episode devolved. Thank you for stopping by. We're at that point. God. Change my diaper daddy. Right now. I still have our dreams about the day that I single-handedly made the mountain and blow up in that country.

What's the country that the mountain blood, that freaking volcano blew up and it made the country completely disappear? Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting for, fresh or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.

Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary.

Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, no, not what the fuck, you know? No, no, no. There's like one. Oh, you're talking about, um. Isn't there Italy? I have no idea. Are you talking about the old?

Are you talking about old school shit or something that happened recently? Yeah, it's old school. Um, where it blew up and a place was gone. Like, it wasn't there anymore. I forgot what it was. I know what you're talking about. I don't remember it, though. I can, yeah, it's, it's got off the top of my head of camp.

Whatever. Thanks for, thanks for listening. I remember, uh, give me. Master Chief the idea to give them their bomb back. That was me. That's so stupid. That's so dumb. Barack Obama wrote that.

He wrote that part of Halo 2. He's involved in all media involving bombs. It's like Barry. You think he's a good idea? I wrote it and go for it. I'll be president eventually, you know. We're going to call it Bombo. Bamo, too.

The bomb. He goes to Shigeru Miyamoto when he's making my own. He's like, Shiguru, I have a great. idea for a bad guy in your Mario game. Bomb bombs. All right, fucking God help us. If you liked what you heard today,

consider supporting us over at Patreon.com slash the snark deck. $1 month gets you early access to every episode and bonus solo episodes. $5 gets you your question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment in you and you're in for good. The link went live today for this month.

$25 and $25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show. which I will now do. Three, two, one. I love bomber. Bomber, man, is my favorite game. Rusty Cage's epoxyed rat. Talos Volcar.

What the fuck? Valcaran? Oh, there are new people here. So it's like fucking with me. Valcaran, apothecary of the first, Claw, 10th company, 8th Legion. All right. Derek's favorite truck cuck.

I only became a patron to say, fuck you, Derek, you clearly haven't played Mega Man X-8. It was a great return to form from X-7. You're out of your mind. Pestilence-ridden prostate, probing the human mashed potato smeared on the Travis Scott concert floor with Mikeane. Maxwell, Avi.

Chris is pronounced like having, as if having sex with your mom. It's not a joke anymore. I want to fuck Ray William Johnson. Did you guys see, by the way, that, like, your favorite Martian is, like, re-uploading a bunch of their old songs recently for no reason? I saw Doing Your Mom again.

I was like, excuse me? Did I, did I dream this came out before? It's so terrible. I forgot how bad it was. Doing your mom. God, he really tried. I became a president. I became a patron to spend and spent $25 to tell Sweeney

his bisexual slash homosexual hot take is without the worst take I've ever heard. Small Dick, Seaman, Demon, the King of Sucking Cock, Duncan, Master of All Things Cute and Funny, wage slave, 583. Just the letter H, literally just H. Same. Does... Hydrogen bomb? Does Sandman come to avoid unwanted...

Does Sandman come sand to avoid unwanted pregnancies? Dead inside. Arcane Furukawa, better to pee in the sink than to sink in the P. parentheses, I pee in the sink. Shrinkis, Finkel dunk the Warlock, who is using transversive steps. The $25 gets you into the Connor King versus Connor King death match to see who is... To see who is crowned real king this Sunday.

Eddie Burbach's sudden solo career. Oh my God. I just rated him on Twitch yesterday. Oh well. Nobody listens to these. He who nuts loudest and last ain't right because United We Stand, United We Come, the immortal words of the council have come. I challenged the other Conner King to a fight and to the death.

There can only be one paraplegics armed people because people are repeal. Roller skater masturbator, the bipolar masturbator. I have PPSD. I called the Coast Guard to save my anal virginity. Chris Ray come more like Chris Racism. The Kualoo Chow from Half Court, Ryber 525. the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation, Jack King Hoff, racist snake, ten dollars of spawn saying Malboja, relaxing sounds for stress relief,

meditation, deep sleep. My dear friend Dominic, it's with great sadness. I inform you I have, oh my God, my dear friend Dominic, it is with great sadness, I inform you that I have begun uncontrollably expulsing the essence of love. Ever growing library of Marasov foodap form. Tell him Steve Dave. Chris Regan, more like cringe gay come. Evil Tom Sweeney says, I love the gays.

My name is Riden And the president just grabbed my balls Andrew Andre Brooks Welcome to Kurt Cobain's record store Where our music will blow your mind Antifist Maximus who gargled Goebbels gray matter Vanessa if you're listening Answer your test

God I am It's really acting up for me today guys This is rough Vanessa if you're listening Answer your texts You twat You gave me crabs Oh my god

That's not saying you reveal on Patreon That's not our big thing I mean hey man If she listens to the show Then maybe she got the message Chris Chan's dripping gooch gash God is dead because Travis Scott killed him Oh God

There's if I were an animal I'd be a bear They're cute, they're cute dear lord I'm going to help for this John Strickland Limp Sniggins Merck's 1889 Dank Magician of Chaos Hi I'm Paul Oh we're three pages

God damn it We're back up to three Oh fuck Let's go. Let's go. The Bobby. Let's go. The Bobby is here.

The Bobby. The meat beats, skeets neatly on her teats. The first church of Keith David, the one church that doesn't touch your kids, the fanboy begging Derek to clap his cheeks. I'm pimp C bitch. I'm what you need. I got some cocaine and some California weed. Drunken Doolahan, Pree-Raws, Doug Dimidoma, a tiny Asian figure. A tiny agent figurenaggot?

Oh my god. Yes. Here we go. Oh, God. And last for not least, the king of haphazard. Come man, the man of come. Blake. I'm later.

No, I know. Blake 896. Oh, God damn it. I totally. Ah, you fell for it. You bitch. Blake 896. Downed Uncle Ben, but he has the martyrdom perk.

Epic Oshuat, silly buddy eater. Feature Hendrix, the Messiah of Misadry. Fucking kill me. Hey, boss. I'm watching. I like watching Chris Raygun. Suck sizzling come down his throat my two the two maytees can jack off do if they want what is wrong with you people Ryan Luchessey it is pretty gross Zagie

Woman don't matter Tom Sweeney 2021 sloshy scout atrosoney copious amounts of collected come cute fanboy with sexy thigh highs Tom Sweeney the distruss this alien fucker Basterdson Antifa Sarkeesian Lord of Autism and high priest of the church of Asian Keith even from Cloud Atlas. What the fuck? That was one name? Yeah. What is wrong with you guys, bro?

He's like, oh, this is funny. He's typing anything. Antifa Sarkeesian. It's just, Antifa Sarkeesian is a funny fucking name, though. That's his name. The whole thing is his name. That was the next one. In Jamaica, wow.

In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie is $250, whereas a slice is $3 in the Bahamas. It's just the pie rates. of the Caribbean. Oh, my God. I want to kill this guy. That's kind of clever, but like, come on. You should be.

It should be. It's still war's death, though. But that's clever. You can't deny. No, that's like, oh, what's the fucking, what, what, we can't make a joke like that because of how clever it is. What's a, what's it called when an orphan takes a selfie, a family photo?

Ah! Yeah, cool. That's clever. That one's pretty clever, man. That's ancient, though. It's too, it's too well known to be clever. It's when you mug It's a dad joke and you want to just mug the dad

You know Yeah Just teach him a lesson It's a dad joke But the dad is Uncle Ben and you're happy He's gone If tomboy sweat was a type of beverage I'd order several barrels

Cataclysmic cunt hard hat skydiver Banana 101 ASDF Monkey Monk's Monkey Monastery Plutonium Dynamite A little late term abortion with the Lily Singh Alaskin oil field trash Bonesaw is ready for three minutes of play time

RON-TROES Ready Ready I got you for three minutes Guy The Joe has to make that for you This an unnecessary Cage

Adam I love that I love it so much How dare you I love the LGBT community That was that was That would be such a twist It's like

Yes he did And I He did yes he did And I love him for making it for me. And I'm proud. You think this is a joke, son? What year do you think this is? I'll suck a dick right now.

Don't you test me. Get with the times, brother. Yeah. I hate how jacked he is. He looks. He's so jacked. He's swayed. Well, he's dead.

He's so jacked that he had a fucking heart attack from it in 2011. He sounds, in fairness, he does sound like a heart attack. Like, it sounds like he's so jack. Jack? It sounds like he's so Jack that his voice. That was Randy? Are you out of your mind? Yeah. Of course.

Who could it possibly be? We could this Randy Savage. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid. Bonesaw. He is Rocky. He's back.

Randy Savage. What if he's in a new one? He's not. He's dead. Nah, you never know. They animate him. They animate Bonesaw. He's just, but he's just like a cartoon.

It's like they don't even like CG him. He's just a fun of course. Like Tom Holland is, they put Tom Holland in that scene where he's talking about it's all again. And he's like, look, dude, you look really cool and all that. But like, uh, did your husband make that? And he's like, dies. Yeah, he did.

Randy, Randy Savage sounded so Jack that it sounded like his voice had a hard time escaping him. That's what he sounds like. It's like he was just, yeah. Squeezed. There was a moment where him and Hope Hogan's shot. took hands and they had to like, they had to like get close to each other because their fucking magnetic fields were muscular.

So they had they were pushing off each other. And I was just like, yo, these guys are on a lot of cocaine and steroids. It's crazy. Anyway, fucking God, Rony Valdez, Tom Sweeney's imaginary girlfriend, Lily. Chris's favorite band debunking Wyverns Marcus Shorten Oh like

That's so infuriating That's an imagination dragon's stroke I didn't even think about it Marcus Shorten Mr. Fock Dobby cumsock Dobby cumsock crutches Sussey

Hank Schrader Hater and public bank masturbator parentheses I masturbate in banks I live for your piss Chris Murder Ascended Keith David the dyslexic that feels

Chris's pain Whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive. Needed a second take. Ew. If, listen, if this is building up to a video of being singing this song, it'll be worth it. It'll be a good meme, but fuck you also. Lobotomize Jesus, patron saint of pillow humpers. Final page, last couple.

Seven days old abortion. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis. Parathesis I masturbate while driving. Y'all got to fucking calm down with your public masturbation. Hiroshima is spicy mushrooms, dummy thick Dave. Heartless wretch, aka. you're so emphatically wrong that it caused my synapses in my brain to stop working momentarily. By the way, if you name yourself after a thing we said recently, we're not going to have any idea by the time.

It's like four weeks later. Like we don't know what you're talking about. I give it a 9.5 at a 10. That's a pretty nice cock. Stop speed running the names or I will send a horse to you. I will send a horse to Mr. Hans you. Cataclysmic cunt. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my talking.

Jackson, Abseage, Badly Brave, Emperor Palpatine. Huggard Derek the movie theater manager, Ethereum, Hetherian, Chris Gatman, Haging, Hunting Ass, all hands on dick, Alec Baldwin's 9mmmm prop gun, Richter 86,

and actually, finally, as always, King of Halfhazard. The King, the chosen one. The chosen one. King of My Nigger. King of Haphajard

was not born a king. He was chosen by the world to be the king. Yeah, exactly. Let's not forget that. Yeah. Anyway, guys, something.

That's going to be it. it is so it is a mess it is a mess it is so it is so it is so hot in here like I've been

I've been struggling I'm not gonna lie so we'll see you guys next week it's almost December so get your holiday themed

get your Christmas themed fucking questions over to us on the Patreon because the November thread is closed now so there's gonna be a new question thread for the next

basically up until Christmas or we're gonna keep it going or up until, you know, January. So pop in there, ask your question, and we'll answer it on the show. If it's good and grammatically correct. This is Daniel Fischel. And Ryder Strong from PodMeet's World.

As cat parents, Ryder and I know the feeling of being ignored by our cats. I often wonder, does my cat even love me? Well, there's only one solution to solve that. Sheba. Feed your cat Shiba

and go from feeling ignored to truly adored in 12, days guaranteed or your money back. Sheba has so many incredible products that can satisfy even the pickiest eater. Like new Shiba grilled, made in the USA with the finest ingredients from around the world. They are savory strips in a succulent sauce that cats are sure to love. And it's 100% complete and balanced with essential vitamins and nutrients for adult cats like my bill. Made without artificial flavors or preservatives, no corn, wheat, or soy. To learn more, check out shiba.com. With the Venmo debit card, a taco in one hand,

and ordering a ride in the other, means you're stacking your rewards. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment and more. Pick a bundle with your go-tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Do more stash, get more cash.

Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at Venmo.combe. slash stash terms. Max $100 cash back per month.