The Snark Tank - #93: Imagine No Dragons

Episode Date: December 25, 2021

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Dunstores, always better value. Terms and conditions apply if you're used on next instill grocery shop of 25 euro or more. Hey, look. It's a little dead. It's about penis. It's about cum. It's about my anus. That stupid fucking, I saw that on TikTok, that thing you did.

I was like, why are you? Who are you? It did. I just, I don't know. It popped on my head. It spent a good half hour on it. And I was like, watch this blow up bigger than anything that I've done. That's exactly what happened.

And then it makes me sad because I looked at like a, a cover I spent like a month working on and it has like on TikTok less than 500 views and this shit's about to break 100K and I'm like of course yeah dude I made I made a real on Instagram where I did the attractiveness quiz that track is like one to 10 I got a one and it was really hurtful because like I'm not a one I'm at least a seven but that video that one video has nearly a million views. It's so stupid. It's so dumb.

But I got so many really nice comments. I got a lot of followers from it too, but I got so many nice comments like, hey, man, you're at least a four. And I'm just like, oh, thanks, guys. Dude, it's the worst. It's so disheartening because it's the same thing with, with, I did some TikTok. That was like the life estranged thing. And I don't even remember what it was.

But it was, it was just like that life estranged meaning that was going around on TikTok. and I spent maybe, maybe four minutes, like from recording to like thinking of what to write, to thinking of what to say for maximum minutes. And it's like it's my highest viewed thing on TikTok. And I'm like, you fucking, this is such a shitty fucking system. It's awful.

You motherfucker you. It's like it knows. It's like it knows, man. It's like it knows. Oh, you did, you put no effort into his. Let me boost you. I hate him. Here's the boost.

I literally, I hate it so much because I'm like, man, because I can't, for some reason, like, when it comes to me, I can't, I can't make TikToks. Because my brain is like, what am I going to say for like a minute? That's funny of someone to keep on here to look at. Like, my brain is like, I just can't do something that's funny. I can't do something like this. I know, this is stupid.

No one's going to want to see this. And then I put out these stupid as reals on Instagram. And they're getting tens of thousands of views. And I'm like, this can't be the way. It's how it works. This can't be how it works. It's how it works. You know what I think it is?

It's like the algorithm kind of rewards what anybody can do because it makes anybody feel like they can blow up. And it makes everybody want to spend time on the platform. I think that's genuinely what it is. I think it's like the lowest effort content possible will always blow up because it's the most achievable. type of content for the majority of people to make. And it makes people just like want to spend time on the app. That's literally it. Because there's no other explanation.

It's so stupid the shit that I see constantly on all of my feeds. Just dumb shit. But hey man. You know, it's the way of the world now. This is how it goes. It is. And it makes me question. It really does make me question like, what am I doing?

Where I really am. I have three covers I'm going to release this month. And I've worked really hard on a couple of them. The other one, I haven't started yet. And I'm just like, what am I? Why? I should just release another gay cover of a song. Like, I should just do another.

It'll do infinitely better than anything of me putting real effort into something. So I don't know. In fairness, though, it was, I saw it come up on my feed and I was, I didn't, I wasn't expected to see it. And I did laugh. Like, it was funny. Like, actually. I mean, okay, okay.

I even, I even admitted to myself that this, because somebody said, I think this is your magnum opus or whatever. And I was like, I, I kind of agree. I think this is my, this is my final. This is my final thing. This is the end of my book. I think I should just fucking take off now because I don't know. I guess it just came together well enough.

It's about dick. It's about dick. It's about coming. It's about showers. I dropped my magnum opus for my monster opus. I think what we need to do is we need to start. We need to as a group just write. Like we need to make a snark tank TikTok and we just to collaborate on stupid shit like that.

Because it would be like what's the snark tank? And then they'd come to this show and they'd be like, what is this? nothing to do without what's on the fucking TikTok at all. They made a gay cover of every song on Duke. We could be, we could be the gay, uh, buff Corel. You know? All three of us could be the, the individual gay buff Corell. We just make these like homoerotic garbage versions of every song you've ever heard.

I'm so down. Like, I've seen some people do. some stuff like this and it's all most of it's trash most of it's trash except for that one dude that one dude that i forgot his name you told me about him last time he hits bro he makes gay rock covers song slap every single one um real real online boy he's he's good yeah he's very good um i like him um but i also feel like and no shade to him it's just i'm like i can do better i i just when i hear when i see his covers i'm like they're great but i like i can i hear things and i'm like they're And I'm like, oh, man, you could have done this here.

I like, I'll, I'll, I was like, man, I could really do this if I really put my heart and soul into it. But it's, it's, it's one of those things. When you're a fucking artist, do you, do you want to? Do you really want to? I'm totally down to do it for fun. I'm totally down to do some shit for fun. Like, right, we started TikTok and fuck around.

But it's not like I wanted to be, this is my job. People tell you, he's what you do for a living? Oh, you know. I ever hear that it's about dick, it's about penis sock? Like, yo, yeah, I heard that. That was me. I made that. You're at a date.

You're at a date with someone. I made that. You start your lady's family. You start levitating and you just, you see like a super sand lightning coming around your hands as you say it. You're just imbued with all this power. I'm a little bit scared of because I really want to meet the rock someday. You meant a lot to me as a kid.

I'm a little bit scared just because there's a big possibility he might stumble upon this because for whatever reason I don't know if he has a team but he finds every post that's tagged to him I didn't tag him on purpose because I didn't know I was like I'd wrap with him and I see this but it's gotten so big I was like fuck he's probably gonna see this and then if I mean he's like you're that fucking one guy you think that shit's you know like I don't know if I don't know

if he has that kind of thing it's about dick right it's about he just grabs you and start squeezing you. Start squeezing you a little bit. Not enough to kill you, but enough to let you know how mortal you are and he lets you go. They can easily kill me,

but it doesn't. It's not worth it. Dude, it's so funny. That's the worst, dude. You get someone and you show them how easy it is to kill them. And then you let them go. You let them go.

You let them live scared. I think the thing that the thing that's funniest to me about this stupid video that you made is the fact that it's just like dick off the rock and then the pride flag next to it

like it's like I think the fact that like somebody could look at this and be like it's like an authentic anthem it's like the funniest

fucking shit to me but yeah yeah I will say putting the LGBT flag putting the pride flag in

in stuff really catches eyes. And so essentially when we put our TikTok out, you make sure that shit follows whatever we just fucking, whatever it is. Yeah, no matter what it is. Whatever it is. Even if it has nothing to do with anything.

I don't know. Yeah, we'll discuss what our first song's going to be. Yeah. We got to make that TikTok before we publish this episode. So nobody steals it. But I think that's a good idea. Oh my God. So we got...

I just watched it again and it's the... This is a jam, Derek. Honestly, this is fantastic. I appreciate it. Hold on man. We got so much to talk about though. We got a whole smorgish board. Smorgas.

We have a bunch of news. You have a lot of news to get you. Not really. Like, I'm sure like, again, this is one of those things where I feel like nothing... I can't remember anything that's gone on. mainly because Oh yeah, that's right Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

What, which, which die Are you talking about? I was talking about that one. I was Vincent. The, the, the, the left this earth, you know, the expired one by Lord,

wait, who, who, who, Fujin, do you play Mortal Kombat? Fusion, yeah. Yeah, the wind, the wind god. The god of win. Oh, right, right. He went to the south and just, you know, he was like,

I've had enough of the, I've had enough of you. people. Yo, I can't deal to be able to do. Yeah, I heard about that. That shit was wild. Because I was terrifying. Yeah, it's scary shit. Like, I remember seeing like, like, I was in a diner.

And I was like, I was on the TVs that they hang in diners for some reason. And they were just showing a bunch of houses flying all over the place. And some guy just like, I don't know what's going on. And it was the weirdest. Hi, I'm Dr. Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health

questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And, It just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just have a stomach kick every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive.

We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on beyond. on the script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeartRadio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan. America's Large Injury Law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. Because I forgot, I don't know what it is.

This must be like a really, this is going to sound really out of touch to a lot of people who might be in the middle of the country. I just totally forgot the tornadoes were like a real thing for a long time. Because we, I've never had to deal with them, ever. There was one period where I was driving to L.A. with Jalen when we first moved to L.A., where we saw one of far, like a long way away to the point where it was like, ah, you know, that was, that's nothing, whatever. We're not going to even. It's like seeing a line behind a cage.

It's like, ah, whatever. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, it's like going to the zoo. It's like, oh, look, this is the tornado exhibit. Look at the cute tornado far away from me and like completely like out of harm's way. But it's, uh, it's a real thing. And it's pretty bad. how many people it was like

fucking dozens right at at this point I feel so from what I've seen it was a at least 80 but Jesus Christ what the fuck at some point they were saying

maybe a hundred people possibly but I know it's at least 80 bro holy shit I took screenshots I took screenshots of the fucking some you know the storm chasers like the smartest people on earth like I took a couple of Screenshots from them The smartest people on earth

Yeah, I took it I was like dude this shit Because it's it was at night too So it's like how terrifying is that shit bro Like when you see Oh my God Just imagine that Imagine that you're just chilling at night

And then boom flash and you see this angry As fucking tunnel I'm like dude I don't understand How people live in the tornado alley States I forgot what it's really called Is it called the window no not rust The Dust something states

I forgot what it was It's called, but it's like... Rust belt? No, is it a rust belt? I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, the only belt that I've heard is Bible Belt, but then I've also just heard tornado alley. That's the only two things that I know.

I heard about people that live there below my mind, dude. It's just like, why live there? Well, I mean, it's like, it's first of all, it's super cheap. That's the thing. Yeah, that is not. It ain't worth it. Well, it ain't worth dying for it. Well, you might not die.

That's kind of the thing. It's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, at least 90 people were killed and this, like this is as of 6.24 p.m. over here, East and Tandandah so like about an hour ago. And that's pretty fucking wild for a tornado. Like, I don't know how

deadly tornadoes are on average, but that's, that sounds like a fucking massive one. Yeah. It was like a historical thing. Yeah, because like, I don't know, like I feel, I feel like I've spoken to people who are from, like, dude, we were talking when Hunter was on and he was telling us about like the people who used to just drive in

to tornadoes because like, I'm used to this. They make it seem like it's not a big deal. And then you see something like this that's fucking wild. Imagine buying a house and your house being taken and drop somewhere in the middle of town. I guess.

I would prefer that than have it shredded to pieces. Yeah, totally. It's not going to lay. Your house is not going to have a clean landing. It's not going to stick a gymnastics, a Russian girl's gymnastic landing. That's just going to hit the ground and be destroyed. Yeah, it's a wild fucking tornado.

So hopefully if we have any listeners over there, you guys are all safe. Yeah, hopefully you and your family is good, man. Yeah, I hope you guys stayed safe. Are poor in your, you're in my prayers. Yeah. I should be in your job. Don't listen to him. He still thinks his girlfriend's a real person.

So his prayers mean nothing. She is real. But I think. Also the devil. But we've never seen her before. So, okay. Yeah. You've both seen her.

We've seen drawings that you've showed us. Oh my God. Y'all are just come. And they're all really, they're all really inconsistent. It just come? I've never heard somebody just call someone come. That's so fucked up. She's real, guys.

Look, if she wasn't real, I don't, like if she wasn't real. These are the ravings. I don't know where I get some shit. Some of the shit I acquire where I go, what I do, it doesn't make sense. These are the ravings of a madman. It's like, it's the raven. You're out of your mind. Y'all are just fucking

You know that girl on TikTok who sleepwalks? That's you Yeah That's you And she annoys the fuck out of her husband Her husband just has to deal with her He doesn't left her yet I would have been like yo

I can't deal with you You want to see my girlfriend too There she is What is that? He got a body pillow He got a body pillow How's it going? Is that a wait

Wait wait wait Derek is that Is that is real Is that what I think of it is? It's girlfriend It's a body pillow But I'm using it as not a body pillow Because I don't have an actual body pillow

But uh So this somebody tagged me in it months ago And it was kind of like You gotta get it And I was like, you're right And I was just hanging up there You just let somebody else decide how you spend your money Basically

I mean it was like I think it was like 20 something bucks So I'm like all right fair enough For any audio listeners He's talking about a Tali Zora body pillow that he has. Right. Like just leaning next to him, like towering over him. Just there. It's just on my shelf.

Like I'm hanging it with, it's so makeshift because my laundry detergent's keeping it hanging up. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever used loves that fucking, that shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The fact that you have them just there keeping it unstable. I respect that. I respect that.

That is good. My girlfriend is real. He's real as a day as long. I wish she wasn't real sometimes. But she's a real person. She's a real. Well, anyway, I think we've got some actual things to talk about outside of... Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down

with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids' fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well, I need to lay down.

And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Hear the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm,

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. deadly tornadoes and less depressing shit. First of all, this is the first thing that caught my eye because I totally...

So I'll be the first to admit I'm not that much of a Harry Potter person. I saw the first three movies and then the last part of the seventh one. So I don't know... You saw the full thing? I saw the first one

and fantastic beasts. I saw all of them. You saw the first one and fantastic beasts? You are confused. You are confused. You were like, what is ha? Who the fuck is serious black? He sounds like an angry nigger.

Who the fuck is serious black? I still enjoyed the Fantastic Beast as a movie. I thought it was fine. I was like, oh, this is nice. But I was at my girlfriend at that time, she wanted to see it. She was a fan of that shit. So I don't get a fuck by Harry Potter, to be honest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've always hated it. I've always hated it. I've always thought Harry was the most of. Harry doesn't cast a single spell in the first movie. He doesn't cast a single fucking spell until the middle of the second movie. And everybody loves them in school. They try to make us read the books.

And I was like, I'm not reading these books. I'm not evolving. I'm sticking to Dr. Seuss. They were like, I literally hated it for years. I hit Harry Potter. I liked the first two.

And then it just got, to me, it just got a bit too try hard. Like, it got like, where young. adults now and we've got to be like everything is dark blue you know and there's no bright colors anymore the sun will never rise again and it's like all right this is very late 2000s music video

like i feel like i'm watching die mannequin perform or something and it's like we got to just calm down with this like the first two movies had like a home alone charm to him because they were directed by the same guy which makes sense but i don't know i just never got into it but apparently in fantastic Beast, Johnny Depp plays a person. I don't know. I haven't seen fucking Fantastic Beast. I don't even remember who he plays. Yeah, it's, yeah. That's all a fucking movie. Johnny Depp. Poor Johnny. So, he plays somebody, but obviously there was a whole situation with him and Amber Hurd in which Amber Hurd is clearly the bad person, but fuck it, whatever, she gets to continue working. And Johnny Depp loses his entire career for some fucking baffling reason that I still cannot fully understand.

It feels like a fake thing that just happened and everybody's just going along with it, so whatever. And then the trailer for the newest Fantastic Bees just came out. Obviously, he's been recast. So he's trending right now. And I'd imagine there's probably a lot of not

particularly kind words for Amber Heard right about now, which is my favorite time of any period of time, is when everybody can justifiably just trash Amber. It's like it really is Christmas, you know? She sucks.

But that's kind of the also, it's like a double-edged sword because I do like it. I do like that. But then it's almost the justification for a bunch of people that are defending her to be like, see, look at all these fucking terrible people. You know what I mean? It's, it kind of happened with a lot of things back in the day when a lot of us came up on YouTube. There was, there was all those freaks that were harassing people when there was people.

when there was people that are actually just trying to criticize certain people. That's true. And then there was the freaks that were like, oh, you know, so like there's people probably saying the worst shit to Amber heard. And then they're going to take that shit and be like, see, this is why we need to protect. Oh, yeah. Or whatever, you know. Nah, she needs to suffer, bro.

She's wrong. She's wrong for what she did. She's a monster. She's shot in his bed, bro. Like, I can't forget that, dude. I can't forget that. She openly admitted to when he was trying not to aggress her, she would, hit him. She admitted to that. He was this like, she was this, she sounded like an abusive husband.

She's like, well, he doesn't answer. Obviously, I get physical. And it's like, excuse me, miss. But look, maybe, okay, maybe what if, no, I don't, what, what, what if Johnny Depp was always acting like Jack Sparrow? Because that would piss me off too. I'm just saying, what if he was, what if he was always in that role? You're trying to have a serious conversation and he's doing that weird junk. slurry thing and she's like fucking stop it and hitting him and stuff and he's still doing his wacky shit. You're like, whoop,

boop, whip, whip, whip, whip. And all these fucking sand effects that way. This is not funny. This is so fucked up. He's just like, well, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Watch her, your mate hit me next

time when he's dodgers out the way. Oh my fucking God. And she's trying to beat this shit out. She's trying to level him. And he's just getting out the way. Amber, you're right. The other angry. Yeah, that's a good score, man.

It's a good score. It's great, man. It's Hans Zimmer, man. He's the shit. Is it really? Is it really Hans Zimmer? It's Hans Zimmer. Absolutely.

I don't know. I don't know, man. Like, I got to be real, man. I love soundtracks. I'm a big fan of a lot of like, like, Danny Elfman and Darren Corb and all these like fantastic composers for video games and movies. John Williams, obviously. And I gotta be real, man, a lot of Hans Zimmer's stuff.

What are you gonna say? Fall so flat for me. And to the point where I really thought that the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack was like a completely different person. Like I really thought. It falls flat to you, you say? This is. Yeah.

This is how I, that's crazy, man. He has so many. I mean, one of the best songs he ever. He has a certain style. He definitely has a certain style. I think he has a lot of variety, man. I think like when you think about his movies Okay dude modern warfare two

Awesome fucking theme It is Fucking gladiator Yeah I guess so You don't like the dark night theme It's so good It's not my favorite It's so good

I love it Inception Inception One of the best tracks he's ever made That's in every single compilation On YouTube that has to do with motivation Or anything It's called Time

It's his Inseptic deception track. It's the, it's the goat. It's the goat of fucking scores. I think that's why though. I think I think the fact that that is so overused, that specific thing or even just like you fucking hipster, you're a fucking hipster. No, it's just I hear it all the time so it's not, it's like do you got do you remember Derek you must remember this if you were like downloading like free music to edit and like make videos in like the late like

2000s or whatever if you were doing that. I'm not sure but like I remember this was like a common thing like immediate music and like two steps from hell. Do you remember two steps from hell at all? Not the name. If I heard it, I probably like, oh. The audience will probably, like, there's probably like some weird subset of this audience that will understand what I'm talking about.

They made these incredible, like, kind of almost free, fair use, kind of, like, just really official sounding soundtrack scores that anybody could use and everybody basically did. and to the point where it was like the only thing available to the point where even though those were good songs and really well composed, they started sounding fucking really budget. And the same way that,

do you remember the Requiem for a Dream theme by Clint Mansell? It was that, yeah, that was fucking everywhere. And that's an amazing score, but all I can think about when I hear that score now is just all, every single wannabe like dramatic YouTube video from like 2009 to 209 to,

2013 just used Clint Mansell's Requiem for a dream theme. And the same thing with the Inception, like, blah, which is in every fucking trailer since 2010 till maybe like a couple years ago. It stopped a little bit. Amen. Look, I love it.

I just say that the influence is there. And I don't know. You're not wrong. There's, and so, now I will say. And I will say, One quick thing.

I haven't seen Dune yet, so I don't know. I haven't seen Dune. I haven't heard anything from it. So that might be amazing. It's good. I will say it's good. It's one of those things that it makes me pay attention. I mean, just everything, even like there's a score in Man of Steel, the last fight, Zod versus Superman.

Like it's actually, I was like, wow, this is fucking, I think it's underrated. I think this guy and his team is a team of composers, whoever the fuck he's writing with, because I'm assuming he doesn't do it all himself. Just amazing. Like, Pirates, the one thing I will say, the Pirates is basically a rehashed song from one of his Gladiator tracks. Oh, is it really?

Come on, man. Like, yeah, it's basically, it's just, you love Pirates, so good. It's great. No, it's great, but it's fleshed out. But if you, there's a fucking gladiator score, like one of the tracks in it, when it's like during the Coliseum stuff.

And it's basically the same. thing just a little more fleshed out. And I was like, all right, man, that's a little lazy. But, you know, I feel like you kind of got away with one of those right there. You know, it's really funny. Okay, I have a story about that soundtrack. There was this back when Instagram was the best place on the internet. There was a scene where some guy was like, I'm serious, motherfucker.

Don't come out here doing it to the video. He had a gun. And he walked into his house. He was like, I'm serious. If you in here, do not. jump out at me. I'm warning you. And some guy, it was a clown that came out of the room and ran towards

it with a knife. And he shot him and he was like, I warned you. I told you not to run at me. Please. Wait, did this happen? This is a real video. Someone shot a clown? Somebody asked because the clown

was the guy warned him. He was screaming. He was like, look, motherfucker. I'm not playing dope. Try no funny shit. Get out of my house. And an idiot clown thought, he was kidding. He thought it was a joke. And the cloud came out of like, he tried to creepily step out of a corner and then ran toward the guy. And the guy had a gun and shot him down. And I was like, what the fuck is it?

I wonder if I could find it. I had it saved. I'm pretty sure they removed, though, because that's when he did the purge of Instagram. But it was the funniest video I ever seen in my life, bro. That's so fuck And it was to the pirate theme That's what made it even funny It made it whimsical Instead of it being like a really serious moment It is very whimsical that score

But yeah Oh shit I think I think I saw the clip of it But you know they didn't know pirates on it so It's just the real uncut version You saw the uncut version That's way less cool It's not that funny.

It's not funny. It's not funny, but with the Pirates theme, bro, and take it to another level. Exactly. I can picture it with the Pirates team. Let me see if I can find it. Dude, next time you make love to your girlfriend,

put on the Pirates theme. See what happens. It becomes an adventure, bro. It becomes an adventure other than it just being like a typical dick appointment. It's just nonsense. You put any whimsical music over, even just like, Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman.

I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down.

And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much creative advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is

insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. Morgan and Morgan, America's large injury law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for the people.com for an office near you. That's why, I feel like that's why TikTok is so fucking popular. It's just like a bunch of people putting music over things that don't go with it. That's all it is. It's like, you remember when Giles theme goes with everything was a, was a... Beating, ding, ding, ding. Right. Beating, de, ding.

TikTok is like the opposite, where like, nothing goes with everything. anything and it's funny. Nothing goes with anything. I would probably respect TikTok if people would stop doing the lip syncing. Dude, the lip syncing is so bad. No, for me, it's the fucking animation models. That shit, the animation cycles, that shit scares me, bro. Oh, yeah.

I feel like real people don't. I don't even see that shit, bro. It just makes me uncomfortable. It makes my body, like, I makes me want to roar at somebody. Like, oh, like, try to scare them away. It is unsettling. that shit, the animation. The only reason we've seen that is because we watch

a bunch of cringe compilations. We used to watch it in the living room. And I don't see that shit on my feet or anything, but that shit's really, like, and it's always to like some nightcore song or some Living Tombstone remix. So it's extra, and it's just like they're like

cycling back and forth and like rotating across the screen and it's like, what is going on? Why? The lip syncing shit really drives me up a wall. And it's to the point where like I don't see it anymore because the app knows I hate it. Like I haven't I haven't commented like fuck you or anything like I've never like actively like outwardly hated it to the people making it.

But I interact. I scroll past it's so quick that it just never. So quick that it never. Oh, I get it. You always got a comment fuck you. You always got a comment fuck you. That's how you guys. You got a comment fuck you every time.

Every time he's a shit you don't like bro. Some chick got on my theme. that upset me because, you know, I've had a couple of, like, they try to take down my Travis Scott one. I guess maybe some people, I don't know. I don't know if they reported or whatever, but it got, I got, I appealed it. It was fine. I see like this. I'm like, all right, this is bullshit. I saw this chick. She was doing, quote unquote, yoga. Like, technically she was doing yoga, but, you know, not for the purpose of doing yoga. Her pants were so tight that, like, the camel, like, it was like, come on, dude. And then, and then she's like, it was all just like camel toe

type TikToks. Yeah. And then even voiceovers of like something, oh, I like to letter brittals. And I was like, how is this here? And I can't even just fucking make a goddamn joke. It was so upsetting. It was, I was so mad. Yeah. And, you know, there is a lot of borderline just porn on TikTok. On the internet in general. No, well, I mean, on TikTok on fucking YouTube is a ton. No, but on TikTok, it's like, look at my tits through this shirt. And it's like, yeah, I see. I'm aware. But the shit that gets taken off, like, because I had one of the, one of the life of strange things I did, I think it was like an EDP one. That got taken down because I was just like, I just did like the life of strange thing.

It's like, now it's not a good time for cupcakes. And just like, just really light shit, you know? And it got taken down for nudity, I remember, which was baffling. I was like, what are you talking about? And I appealed it and it got taken up. It got put back up again. But I go into my feed and like it takes like maybe four scrolls before I find something that's like this is. Like I like this is I'm not on the right app right now for this.

This is not the right time of day for this. It's all like wrong. And not that I'm even opposed to that stuff. It's just more like the it's more just like the. It's the principle. Yeah. It's just it's the frustration that like. A TikTok with a TikTok that I make with no nudity whatsoever gets taken down for nudity,

but I'm seeing basically everything on these people. I think I'm close to that TikTok. I think I'm close to that fucking that meme that if I could find that I can show you guys. I've been I've just been scrolling the whole time. You're at your mind. Are you looking for the fucking clown? The pirates one, bro. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Did you like it? Did you like that? I saved. I fucking saved it. Because it was so funny. Well, where'd you save it to? I save it on Instagram, but I don't know if it got,

I don't know if it got ticking off when they purged Instagram a bunch of shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably gone if it's a clown being shot to death in a house to the pirates of the Caribbean. Copyright, violence. I mean, there's a lot of shit. Yeah, it's everything, everything about it. It gets taken down for copyright more than the fact that it's a man dying. That is the most, that is the most believably.

That is the most believably. leak. Oh my fucking God. That is the internet, bro. It is the internet. Thank God. Anyway, Johnny Depp, whatever. I don't know how we got to murdering clowns in a house from Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp Pirates theme song, clown getting murdered to pirate theme song. Yeah, that's what that's the theme? Oh, I thought you were, oh, okay. No, I thought you, okay, never mind. I thought the title. I thought it was like the title of the video.

Cloud gets murdered. to Pirates of the Caribbean theme song. What a fucking wild. I really shouldn't laugh at that, but I think it's the fact that it's a clown and I already am. So they're already... It's a funny circumstance.

The person dying is not funny, but the circumstance of someone getting killed. A person didn't die. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget,

or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBJYN because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications. that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it

comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and

Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. It was a clown. Sweetie, as a Caribbean person, how do you? How do you you feel about the pronunciation how they say Caribbean does that bother you at all? I say Caribbean but yeah you say it the proper way Caribbean but like does that bother you at all that's called they say it they say it the British way like the Caribbean the I don't

the Calabian you know I thought the way I said it was wrong honestly because I hear the pirates they fucked you up you know what's you know what's weird I say Caribbean when I'm talking about the Caribbean but pirates of the Caribbean I'm I still say it that way. Yeah. Right? Because it would be weird if you said, oh, yeah, I'm watching parts of the Caribbean. People think, what?

Yeah. It's just like a completely different cadence to the point where it's like, what is that, a porn parody? It's like, no, that's just how you say it. I've seen a porn parody too. That's not how you say that. I'm sure you have. Wait, wait, there's a porn. Of course there is.

Of course there. There's like 17. People. Now I got to type it in. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm having like a wild flashback of like I, the,

time I caught someone watching a Pirates of the Caribbean porn. And it was called, it was like my cousin. It was called Stagnettys revenge. Wait, hold on. Staginetti's revenge. That shit gave, that shit extended my life just now. I'm going to live longer because of that. Yeah, Pirates Sue Stagnettys Revenge is a 2008 American porn.

pornographic action adventure film and sequel to the 2005 film Pirates. Staginetti's Revenge. I can't believe such a hyper-specific memory like this. Just came barreling. I was like a rhino charging at me, but it was like this memory. Oh, man, I think it might be gone. No, I'm still in 2018. That might be able to find it.

Oh my God, you're still looking for this? You're not going to... I have to find this shit, dude. That's the best video ever. You're out of your mind. Anyway, let's move on. We got some other stuff to talk about, I think. We got...

What should we... Which should we talk about? We got the Game Awards, which just happened. We had a lot of... Dude, I don't know... So it's my job to cover this stuff for Sacred Symbols. Like, I had to watch the entire show and then record, like, a whole thing after it. I watched it with you.

Yeah. We watched it together on stream So many fucking ads So many commercials more than I've ever fucking seen It was like a four hour show And it was like way too fucking long But these people Had the absolute audacity

I really It was already confirmed that Imagine Dragons Was going to be there right Which is already You know This is yet another instance Of Imagine Dragons just forcing themselves into my life where I just don't want them to be.

But you know what? Whatever. They'll play their fucking their stupid fucking cadence and all their songs. Then they'll be gone in like a minute. You know? And come to find out

they, Jeff Keeley's on stage and now and now celebrating 10 years of super giant games. Here's Imagine Dragons playing a song from the Bastion soundtrack. The Bastion soundtrack came out in 2011.

It's my favorite video game soundtrack ever. I love the Bastion Soundtrack. I've recommended it constantly. I think I've talked about it on this show several times. I'm sure you have. The fact that Imagine Dragons just decided. for no fucking reason to go back 10 whole years

pick a song from my favorite soundtrack and play it at an award show that I was forced to watch is so cosmically insulting and vehemently egregious that I don't think anybody could ever tell me that my hatred of this band is wrong like you're out of your

fucking mind if you cannot see why I would be frustrated by this fucking group of people that's awesome man I mean, I also, it brought me joy that I know that you had to watch it. And me, I, I clicked off of it. So it was awesome. I was like, I'm not going to watch this. You know, I'll spend a few minutes just, you know, cooking something real quick or whatever.

And knowing that like, you have to watch. And I was like, oh, this is great. I don't, I didn't know, but I read your tweet, which made it better. It's so. Because I was like, oh, he's being tortured. This is awesome. It's just, it's just so, it's just so egregious. Because people, people ask me a lot.

It's like, oh, man, like, why? do you hate them at like what did they do to you like what what's the big deal and it's like this is what they do they find things that are specific to my interests and just force their way into them i found this band a long time ago like uh i think like while i was in college called nico vega it was like a really like i really loved this this band they had like uh this female vocalist who was like really kind of like really gritty and you could tell that there was um it was very Unpolished very independent very much like we're just doing our own thing right and I loved this band They had a song in a Bioshock infinite trailer and that's how I found them. I was like this is so sick

This band's in Bioshock. I just found this new band because of this game's awesome And then a few years later they put out another record and I'm like this sounds Really weird. This doesn't sound like what they used to sound like and then I look it up And she's dating the lead singer of Imagine Dragons So immediately I was like, all right, I don't like this band. They've ruined a band that I like, whatever. This is my come. This is my come.

Oh, let me calm in ears. This is my bin of come. This is my bin of come. I love Imagine Dragon because of shit like that. That's our snark tank. Literally, literally. Literally, I was going to fucking say that for us. We got to do Imagine Dragons.

We have to. I don't mind. They've done, they've done enough damage to me to the point where I feel like it's a personal thing they have against me that I'm totally willing to like. I want them to be forever associated with that version of that song. This is my king of come. This is my king and come. Dude, I love, I love the parodies of Imagine Dragon songs. Like, that's why I like Imagine Dragons because of all of the parodies that exist.

I like the parody. I just, look, I, I wouldn't even give a fuck about imagine dragons if they, because I just, I just think they don't deserve to be as big as they are. That's all. That's really the only thing that bothers me. Because when I listen, when I hear the music, I'm like, this is, this is so underwhelming in my, like, when I see people at, what do you do at, what do you do at, what do you do with their shows? You just stand around and clap. I didn't, I don't know, I just, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, the way that, like, what do you do? I, I don't, the way that, like, what do you do? Like, what do you do? It was like what happened when I first started hearing dubstep become really big. I was like, what the fuck do you do? How do you dance to this? And then I saw people are pop lock. And I was like, holy shit. They're bringing back to the old shit.

And shuffling and it was like, it was really interesting seeing that. This I know like people aren't pop lock and imagine dragons. Like it's, I just, you know. This is my. In my dick or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's not even again.

Now. I really want to reiterate. It's not that I think they're a bad band. I do think they're a bad band. But I don't think they're like uniquely bad. Like I don't think they're like so terrible that it's egregious that they have an audience.

It's like whatever. Do your thing. You get an audience. You play your shows. Like you have concerts. Whatever. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that. God bless you if you have fans.

Whatever. It's just the fact that I can't avoid him. And it's all so personal to the shit that I like. Like you have no reason to go to the Bastion soundtrack. Are you serious? Like, that's so out of nowhere. That's like if they went, that's like if I went to visit my sister's grave and they were standing there.

You know, like playing. Like, I was like, what are you doing here? Why are, you have no, you have no reason to be here.

Why? That's a little, that's a little hyper. No, no, no. It's like Joe Budden commenting on my fucking mom's death. Yeah.

Your mom's been gone for how long, nigga, you suck. Dude, what are you doing? Why are you here? You guys are giving hyper-specific examples. Bastion is at least celebrated by millions.

It's not, when was the last time you heard about Bastion outside of me specifically telling you? It's celebrated because of a big giant. Last year, people were talking about it a lot because of fucking Hades. What are talking about? Then cover a song from Hades. I mean, I understand.

It's their first big one. I understand what you're saying, but it's, Haiti, Bastion, it's, if you were the only, If I would have played Bastian, I would one billion percent agree with me. It's just, like, if you made Bastian, you're like, oh, this is my baby.

And then all of a sudden they just took a copy and they're like, hey, hey, hey, this shit, this shit slap, son. It's a little hyperbolic. I'm just saying how it's how it feels. That's how it feels. I understand. They constantly say like, hey, Chris, I understand there's some tension between you and I, but I'd really love to have you perform with us. No, I would never do that. You wouldn't perform with them?

I would not perform with a bad thing. You have to, bro. You have to. They also, also, by the way, they did a halo thing last year, which was also like, what are you? I'm sucking dick. I'm weighing in my bones. I could feel his walls explode. Welcome, I'm so gay.

I am so gay. God damn, I'm so gay. Let's do. Let's do. I am too gay. Gay. Gay. Let's do.

Let's go on. Let's do the, let's do the whole, let's do the whole album. And then Sweeney, you'll finally see how fucking the same all that fucking songs. I think they're this, I think they're not different, but like they're not exactly. One thing I will say though, one thing I will say though, like unironically, nickel back is like way better. Like actually, like I said, like for real, I'm not even joking. Like they're a far superior band. Nickelback isn't like a lot of people got on that hype train.

Yeah. I've listened to enough of them where I'm like. Like there is diversity in their fucking music. They have singles that they release that people say maybe they're kind of similar, which I understand. Oh, totally. Fucking singles. And usually the record labels, like, I want these ones as your fucking whatever.

Like, you hear stories about that all the time. But they, they're not, the only thing Chad Kroger is a cunt. That's it. He's actually a piece. Is he really? Other than that, yeah. He's an asshole. He's a prima don't.

He's like, I did a song. I did a song with Santana in 2008. What are you doing? He's kind of like that. He's kind of, he's kind of an asshole. Yeah. Other than that, like,

I've heard enough of their music. I'm like, these are talented people. I heard them do a cover of Metallica one time live, and it was fucking phenomenal. I'm like, I can't hate on these people. I can't hate on them.

I really like that single. Their first single, though, how you remind me? I didn't hate that song. That's a good song. Never made it as a wide man. Like,

I didn't hate that song. I didn't hate that song. I didn't hate that song. God damn. I hate that bad. me talking about, bro? I hate Nickelback because Nickelback was played everywhere.

They're not near, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me explain my argument before you continue. Now, the time of Imagine Dragons is when I acquired my own MP3 player and I was free to whatever I want, so I didn't have to hear Imagine Dragons everywhere I was. But Nickelback was, you could not escape Nickelbacks if you were on. around between 2000, fucking three and 2010. Kingston. You had no escape.

Kingston, Kingston. I have an iPhone. I have my MP3 hooked up. I have my phone hooked up to my car stereo all the time. I was out today running errands. I heard Imagine Dragons three times today. That's now, Chris. That's now.

I'm talking about our past. We were growing up. Every, every fucking, like, kid. movie or any, any, any, any trailer. Yeah. It's always that, I feel it in my balls. Like, it's always, it's always, freaking, they were in, what you go? They were in Spider-Man, too, for my mistaken.

What? For you. For you. That's not imagine, dragons. That's not imagine. That's not them. That's just garbage. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the script.

A podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBJYN because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications. that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it

comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. But Nickelback was in the first Spider-Man at the... Well, Chad, Chad was with... that Josie dude from saliva. Oh yeah, at the end, yeah. Hero song. It was at the end, at the very end of the credits. Imagine dragons are, they, they suck too, but like nickel back, I hate

Nickleback because all growing up, I heard them all the time. That's like, I don't like this. That's fair. But I understand that. Why is it played everywhere? I just, I don't think their music. I just, I, why I think, imagine their music is so underwhelming. It's like, there's, I can hear, there's a lot of genres.

I don't really listen to a country. There's some country box that I heard that I might sounds good. But I can at least appreciate. I can appreciate the talent. I can appreciate it. I'm like, oh, it's not for me,

but this shit's pretty good. I get it. Imagine Dragons. I just don't, when I hear their music, I keep, I'm like this, it's like they're specifically making music for commercial.

Yeah, yeah, making music because they want to make music. They're a car commercial band. Like, it's like the new Hyundai Accura. This is my come. This is.

is my car. And it's like, oh my God. It's, it's so horrible. It's Drake. It's Drake music, but for, they're the Drake of fucking, of like country. Like the Drake of like country rock. Like, it's true. Like, this is, this is their,

this is their bag. Zero APR financing on this car. Oh, it's just like the, I fucking, it's just so bad. Like that, like, that, that, I got come in my face. Melody.

Gay. That melody. That melody is like literally everywhere. It's so fucking nursery rhyme bullshit. It's like nursing. You're sucking me. You're sucking me. You're sucking me.

I'm gonna come. And you know what? You know what? You know what? I don't know. Nickelback at least has like feed the machine, which is like I heard that reason. I was like,

that's a pretty good fucking song actually, unironically. But like, I don't know. I just. There's a variety. Yeah. I can't. I can't abide by it.

But we don't have to, I don't want to keep talking about this. It's actually like hurting me. Right. So let's, you're fass. Suck at me, sucking me until I blast. Hey, hey, I'm coming.

I'm coming in your nose now. What are you, Jim Brewer? Gay. What do you? Jim Brewer? Jim Brewer. Jim Brewer is a... So, Jim Brewer is just the X, S&L comedian who thinks loud is funny, and it's like

the worst fucking... Look, I... So he was... Loud is funny, though. It's not. Go put in... Jim Brewer and I think Hummingbird?

Is that it? I don't remember. Oh, I don't know. He did like a, no, no, no, he, parakeet or cockatoo or something.

It was something like that. It was a bird, right? He starred in half-baked with Dave Chappelle, and he did, he was famous for, he had like a two-year run

in SNL in the late 90s as goat boy. It's very stupid. I looked back at his work, and I was like, this is also not very good. But whatever, like people like him,

But he did recently, he did a bunch of stand-up at some conservative, at some, like, conservative thing. It was like some, I don't know. And it was- Fucking awful. It's really bad. He's just, he's just, he's like, liberals, man, they're just parroting everything. He's like, trust the science. And he's like imitating a parrot, but it goes on for fucking 10 hours. It's like the, it's insane.

I know who it is. It's, yeah, it is. He's half-big guy. Yeah, he's half-big guy. But it's, he looks, he's looking rough, by the way. But he looks, who's the guy that got, um, damn it. He was,

it was, it was basically a conservative comedian, um, one of the few, uh, he called his audience like bears or something. Oh, I don't know.

He got his, like his YouTube got taken down or something and it was like a big, he was trying to make a whole big thing about like censorship and shit, but he was just being insane. I can't remember his name. Oh, I don't know. That sounds like a lot of people, though, to be real with you. We usually still real standup.

He used to be friends with Joe Rogan and everything, and then they all, like, distance themselves from him because they're like, ooh, this guy's, uh, I don't know about this guy. It's especially sad because, you know, there are people who, because it's comedy about, like, the current situation, like the vaccines and, like, masks and stuff. And I really do think that there's a lot of material to go off from that. Like, the fact that we all kind of,

put a mask on before we go into like a building and then it's immediately okay to take them off like they don't care as that alone is like so absurd and ridiculous like the mask is just like this kind of i don't even know it's like a courtesy thing but it doesn't even really do it like it's a very strange thing that we're just kind of conditioned to do have you been doing that recently suiting have you like doing that thing where it's like you see people like go into a place and they they put their mask on when they go in and then they take it off immediately i can't keep my mask on when I go in place. But you've noticed this.

And I'm like, yeah, this is weird. I've only, I've only seen that in, uh, in restaurants, which always,

like I went to, I went to, I went to LA Comic Con. People were just walking around like, they walked in with their masks. They have to get them with the mask. They take it off. And I'm like,

yeah. Oh. I'm, I, I, like, I don't go out that much, but I go to a grocery store or something like that.

And you'll see a couple. It's not usually all the way off. It's usually it's on their chin. Yeah. And, And to me, I'm just like, well, those are, you know, you just, you know, those are the cunts, you know, it's, I like it. I like it. It identifies people that are just not so courteous. I like it. I'm like, okay, I know who this person is. I'll see their kids walking in. Their kids are the same way. And I'm like, oh, you're teaching them really well. Good, good stuff. Like, I'm, I like, I like, I like, I like the identifications. It's cool. Yeah. I just think that there is, there is a level of absurdity that is, like, right for, like, mockery. And all of these, like, comedians are just failing so miserably because they're just, trying to like pander to like, and that's kind of where the money is. It's like you pander to whatever political side is going to root for you because then your material doesn't have to be good.

It just has to be. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN,

because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Like, in favor of whatever the fuck they like. It's like the bare minimum of, uh... Right. What's the guy that dates Kardashian? I forgot his name.

Pete Davidson? Pete David. Yeah, like his Joe Rogan, what do you call it, sketch? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did see that. It's fucking awful. And what's no, it wasn't good. It sucks because I'm like, dude, like you're saying, there's so much material to work with.

It was like when Tom Segura, he did Joe Rogan's podcast, I don't know, a few months ago. And it was just after Joe got COVID and stuff and that whole Ivermectin thing happened. And it was just, I love John The only thing he did when they first started He was like, well, if it isn't horse face, Rogan And it was just like really funny, broke the ice And then he kind of just left it alone there And it wasn't like some like stupid weird mockery

Let me try to show that like, oh, you're a buffoon Because you're a, you know what I mean? Like that weird kind of comic The way that they did it. It's boring. And I also think like the way they did that sketch It was like really convoluted. Like Joe Rogan didn't really belong in that sketch.

It was like a, they just, sort of threw him in. It's very weird. They just want to make fun of them. Yeah, it's very weird because like, I've seen, I've seen enough of Pete Davidson to know that he can be pretty fucking funny. So it's like all the more confusing when he just isn't. Like, there was a roast he did. There were a couple roasts that he did where it's like, that's pretty good. And you see him on SNL where I guess he's just like using, I guess that's kind of the situation with a modern SNL though, honestly. You just have a lot of people who just like, yeah, I can, I can be funny, but my job is not to be.

It's very confusing. It's the read the script. Yeah, just read the script that we write for you. And it's like, what the fuck is this? Trash. Hot off the press is they probably wrote that shit the same fucking day. Oh, yeah, yeah. They show up at three.

They show up at three. All right, overlook it. All right, go. Yeah, it's particularly. I forgot about that Joe Rogan's case. That reminded me of the, you just reminded me of that, that warrior sketch with Elon Musk. That shit was bad

It's painful It's painful to watch It is painful It's a rough go man That's a rough go Cowabunga dude Cowabunga Anyway

Fucking Elon He's person of the year Do you know that? Who else would be though I guess The Rock What? Yeah He made face off

with fucking with face off. They're definitely, and it should have said like, it should have said like, it's about come or something. It should have said like right on there. It's about dick. And the times,

uh, come of the year or something or dick of the years. Come of the year. I'm not even gay, but I'm not gonna say, I'm not gonna say, never mind. I'll cuddle with the rock.

I don't, I just, I just wonder what his penis looks like. Like, not because I'm gay or anything. Like, I just wonder, like what the hell can his dick look like?

You know? It's probably so. the only person? Am I the only person that's like, like, I'll be honest. I've never thought about that, but now you bring it up. I'm like, I do want to see it. Like, what the fuck could the rock dick possibly look like? I never thought of that, but would it just be a, what it looks like one of his arms? Or would it just look like? Would it just be like a regular person? I bet he's, I bet it's got like totem, totem pole faces tattooed on it. It does. It probably has totem full paces on it. And then also I have a dream speech. on it, you know? Like, just the whole thing written at it. That's so dumb. Black and Simone on my dick. Yeah.

Black and Samoan on my cock. You would have how big my dick is. I want, I would have like one of those small like fucking chimpanzee dicks. Like they're like thin. Like red. That's fucking gross.

Like a frog's tongue. Oh. my god, ew. This mountain of muscle it's in this little thin red dick. A little thin dick. He got a thin dick. His dick looks like a twizzler.

It looks like those red things you rip the bay blades with him. Oh my god. You never go, man. A lot of small dick people do do a lot of like amazing things because you know they got to prove themselves.

Small dick people. Look, we can't keep going. Like, he's going to hear this for sure because our podcast is pretty big. No, I'm telling, bro. I follow the rock on Instagram. And he, anytime he releases something, there's so many people that have no followings, they don't do anything, that'll tag them. And then he'll repost it.

It'll retweet it all the time. That actually made me nervous. I'm like, oh, shit, there's a possibility that this asshole can see this and then take offense to it. This asshole, he finds it funny. The guy that's not doing anything. This great guy. If he wasn't, so here's the problem.

If he wasn't a Disney, like person right now, he probably would have enough humor to be like, you know what, I'm going to make this for real and cover your fucked version of it. I think he would. I think he's that much of a jokster because, I mean, he's a, he's a wrestler. And every wrestler for the most person isn't fucking crazy, like wife murdering is a clown. They're all like, just like, yeah, I understand this shit is both. Like, have you ever seen an interview with John Sina? He's a fucking goof.

And they love that shit. He's a fucking funny guy. John Sina's fucking Instagram is fucking the weirdest shit ever. His Instagram is like your Instagram. His Instagram is like your Instagram but a millionaire. So like he can't go too far. He can't go too far. But like, he's like, yo, this shit's like him posting a black him.

That was so fucking ridiculous. That was fucking amazing that he just did it. Like I love that. Like it got to him and he's like, all right, I'm going to post this. I'm not going to say a fucking word. John Sears. He probably thought he did blackface. And he follows a shitload of people on Twitter.

Like if you tag John Seenon something, say something nice or whatever, he'll follow you back. He followed me already. Yeah, he used to follow me on my old one. And I forgot. I saw somebody else to say like, oh, shit, he's following me. Oh, it was that one big-titted streamer that was daring one of the sims to come to her house. Oh, do you remember that, Swin? Oh, who is that?

Yeah, I remember Sina. She's some Twitch streamer. I don't know. I don't remember her name, but I saw her thing circulating around. But I saw somebody retweet her and saying that she was, oh, John Cena follow me because she was wearing a John Sina shirt. And so I was like, oh, yeah, I was like, I got to tweet John Sina so I can get that follow back, man. Dude, it's probably- His page doesn't make any kind of. a fucking sense.

The shit he posts on there. It's like, what the fuck is this? I love it. I love that like when rich people, weirdos like get money and stuff and they can just, you know what I mean? There's no way, by the way that there's no way John Cena is following all those people. Like that's,

that's definitely someone has his account. That's definitely just China like just following a bunch of, there's no. Like it's such an inconceit. Like your Twitter feed would be fucking useless. like if you follow that many people I don't think he uses it you ever see that you know those that fucking what is it called that Suss 808 thing

that video he's speaking fucking Mandarin or whatever and it just keeps going over and over it's such a stupid minchi link man I love I love that I loved hearing him speak Mandarin it made me so fucking happy dude

so stupid I put in John C, a suss, it'll probably come up. The black John Sina thing is so he didn't comment anything. He just posted that and he didn't comment a fucking word. He's a fucking weird person. He's like...

He's a fucking tune, bro. He is a tune. He looks like a fucking tune town person. He's like a very strange individual. Like he just sort of is there. He's like Duke Nukum. He had some small legs. I remember watching wrestling when he had his

fucking green shorts. He has such small leg. Yes, it's tiny legs. Because I remember back in the day when he used to wrestle, like he'd have like, he'd be really jacked and he'd have these fucking jean shorts on. His legs would look tiny. Well, what, hold on. He'd look like Crunk from Emperor's

new groove. It would just look wrong to me. So he had like a Johnny, he has like a Johnny Bravo. And I was like, why his legs so tiny? It was because his shorts were so big because that's the 2000s. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Big shorts. Hold on. Were his legs tiny or was his torso? just long.

No, his shorts were just huge. So it made his legs look really small. Oh, so he was wearing shorts. Yeah, he was wearing a jorts. So it's more like a, yeah, yeah. So it's more like a crash bandicoot type thing going on. Yeah, it was like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's actually, it was.

Yeah, that's probably where he got it from. Fucking binchyling, bro. Just cosplay crash manigoot? Dude, that's actually, but he would have to like probably do, black body because orange face like him

yeah orange face I guess but it looks like the I think people would you know cool because he would have to do his entire torso and face and people would they would probably

because he would do it orange but people would still because there's some colorblind people would probably think it's a shade of brown and like hey man dude I was you can't be doing that shit

so I was watching I don't know why I've been doing this but like to fall asleep I've been watching Inka Master because it's just such a weird fucking dumb show to put on like while you're I don't know this is a very easy

background noise it's like a tattoo competition show on Spike or whatever and I looked up at the screen and one guy's like all right man cats out of the bag I'm colorblind and I'm like you're doing tattoos

on people what like is that legal is that like I feel like that's I feel like that's a problem I feel like if you're getting a tattoo done by somebody, they can't just not tell you that they're colorblind. I feel like that's a law. It's probably not because it's so specific and who's going to make legislative rules about

tattoos that specific and granular. But at the same time, like, Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not.

not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child, then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north,

probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

I don't know. I remember hearing that. I was like, That seems so not possible. That's so insane. Like, hey, can you give me the red dragon? And he puts a green dog on you. He's not, what the fuck.

He's not animal blind also. You know, he could probably. Green dog. A green dog. Like, let me get the red one. And he's like, all right. And he puts something vastly different on you. And you're like, what the fuck?

Tattoos a clear tattoo on you. He puts a clear, he makes a tattoo in an event. visible ink and puts it on you. You're like, you actual fucking idiot. And you bleed and everything. It's wrapped up and there's nothing there. There's nothing there. And you're like, I feel so stupid. My skin is ruined now. I'm damaged. Oh my God. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, let's move on to some fucking questions. Yeah. That's that's been shealing. Bean chiling. Bean chiling. Bean chiling. Bean, that video made me so happy when I saw it. And when we had like,

the fucking the thing on his head because he got hurt because he got beat up by China and he was doing the thing and I was like what the fuck happened to you John John are you okay all right

here's here's the first question from a guy his name is I'm Chris Reagan and Arcane is my favorite show because it has imagined dragons thanks a fucking piece of shit you people really are the worst

like people that I've ever I've ever come across hey I don't have any offensive names for you three. Thank you. It's a nice change of pace. This question pertains to mainly Derek and Sweeney.

Which fictional character? I think you can guess where this is going. Would you give the past to? Superpowered gods like Goku don't count because there is no greater power to stop him from saying, no, they do count.

Why would they not count? Most fictional characters, hold on, most fictional characters are absurdly powerful anyway. I don't think this is a fair question if Goku doesn't count. If I'm going to be very real, you know who I'm going to give it to? You know, very, very real.

Ben Grim. I think Ben Grim can say nigger. I'd be perfectly. He's like a Puerto Rican. He already says that shit. He's not Puerto Rican. He's Jewish actually. He's like it, though.

What I mean, like I just, I feel like he has that sort of. And no one's mad. Everybody's like, yeah, nigger. Ben's like, wait, I feel like Ben can say it. but he won't say it. Yeah, yeah. I feel like, I feel like, Ben, you could just, you don't have to skip that lyric, Ben.

He's like, nah, I don't, it's not like that. I respect it too much, you know. Yeah, maybe. I agree with that, I think. That's a good, that's a good, that's a good choice. Yeah. Other than that, Victor von Doom, but he would say in a European way,

it would be real offensive sounding. He would always say the ER at the end by mistake genuinely. He'd be like, he'd be like, oh, I'm sorry, there's a different word. That's so stupid that you guys are, you specify, but, but, but nigger. Oh, my guy almost did it again. Why did you say it? Now I have to edit this.

I didn't say it. Ah, you're an idiot. You don't know how editing works. I didn't say it. All right. Someone's going to, don't worry. It's going to me saying it. Fucking, all right, one hour, seven seconds, seven minutes.

That sucks. I was hoping not to, I was hoping I was hoping I wouldn't have to do anything. The, uh, I would say Scooby-Doo. Like, that's, that's my guess. Like, I don't have. authority to give that out, but I feel like, I don't know. I feel like even if he did say it, no one would really understand it anyway. So it might.

It would be inaudible enough for people to be like, did you say something? Like, nah, what do I? I had reverer Ray Rat. But he's a, he's a dog, you know. My Rick is getting rigor. My Rick is getting rigor. You're like, what? Rigger.

Like my Rick. My Rick is getting rig. Like, what did you say? say. Scoop, I don't know if you could say that, Scoob. Scoobby's like, what? I didn't say rigor. I said rigor. You rich as wigger? Why?

Why is like a shrugging all of a sudden? You just realize more and more that Scoobies really, really, really doesn't understand words you can and can say. Raggy, Rorty, Rating, Ragey. where's he Shaggy goes into the other room where the rest of them are

it's like zoinks guys we gotta get rid of Scooby Everybody's like What are you talking about Shag It's like I don't know man Scooby Scooby's in the other room Saying the N word a lot

A lot I think he's a dog He doesn't understand And then and then Fred turns around He's like I would Wonder where he heard that from. Not me.

Everybody points at Velma. Bro. Because Velma says it the most. No, I don't think Velma would say it the most. I feel like Fred definitely was at fucking Charlottesville. Fred. Okay, so wait a minute. This is the different conversation now.

Which of the mystery gang is most like, I think Fred is definitely. Velma, I don't think, Velma, I think would say it in the way that an English teacher would say it. In like context of. like a, of like, hey, he said this and he would, she would all, and then Daphne probably fucks a ton of black news, so she wouldn't say it.

Shaggy, Shaggy's a good guy. He understands that's not okay. Yeah, Shaggy's a good person. He genuinely wouldn't say it. He has too much respect. You gotta stop saying that, Scoob. Scoob, that's real not cool, man. You can't really say stuff like that. Why is it a problem that our bankers, Jewish, Scoob,

I don't understand. He's going to Real our money. You don't read the rope there? You don't see the rope that our rakers are rue? Oh, my God. All right. Let's go out.

Let's go on. We love racist. Rigger. We just take characters and make them racist. There's no cleverness here at all. There's something funny about fictional racist people. That's why. There's something.

There's real. There's real. Like freaking misogynist solid snake is a fucking funny character. He is. But I, yeah, it's because they're

beloved characters and it's just it's so fucking out of pocket to say it's like, it's like those those fucking, you remember those clips

of fucking Sean Schemel uh, uh, go cool's voice actors saying, saying all that terrible shit. And the people really got mad about that.

That's what made, what blew my mind is that people really got mad about that. I just totally like played in my head and I got so much pure joy out of that. It's like it's Goku speaking like a child on Xbox Live, but it's the actual voice actor for fucking Goku. It's so good.

It's the best when that shit leaks, man. I love it. I love it. Oh my God. So mad about that. And I was like, why are you guys mad about that? It's like when the SpongeBob,

it's like when Tom Kenny, Tom Kenny, the voice actor for SpongeBob was like, yeah, he's fine. It's trying to fucking work and I can't get a fucking work. in it. I was like, this is so amazing. I think all of these characters, all of these voice actors should record before they die, you know?

Just record their most iconic characters saying the most out of pocket shit and have it on like a kill switch so that when they die, it just gets all published to the internet and no one can take, no one will take their place. I love that.

Oh my God. What we're even talking about? Whatever. That shit is so funny. Oh, inward pass. Yeah, yeah. I think Scooby Ben Grim and Dr. Doom are pretty good answers. I can get behind all that, too. Yeah, let me...

Ben is the best, though. I'd also give it to Commander Shepard just because I respect him so much. Shepherd? Yeah, he's close enough with Keith David. I'll let it slide. He's just blasting hard hours at fucking Captain Anderson. He's like, uh, shepherd. You should probably calm down with that.

You're up. you're a commander you gotta tone it down you should probably calm down with that shepherd you're white this time

you're white shepherd the main character did not make you a black man this time you have to watch what you say

yo what if it fucking knew what if it knew like the code fucking picked up on that that would be amazing that would break watch your damn mouth

shepherd but then like but then if he's black he's just like right on niggas what can Krogens

can Krogens Can Krogan say the N-word? Would you let Krogan say the N-word? Krogan's are pretty oppressed. I kind of like, hmm. Well, I think they're more, I don't know. I love, I love, I love, it's debatable. I love the idea in that game that they tried to validate

that they stop their race from being able to reproduce. People in the galaxy are like, yeah, we had to. It's like, bro, that's so fucking monstrous. are like hardcore hardcore I was like dude this is the most space racism any game has ever conceived they're like yeah they're too out of control

they're too brutish they're too and I'm like bro this is like they're they stopped a scourge and it's like so we didn't want them around and it's like yeah guys are demons you guys are they were too oh Garris

Garris can say the N word oh my god Garris should probably have it over Shepard, I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Mainly because, like, who's gonna, I don't know, like, can't imagine a human person, like, going to Garris and being like, you can't say that. Like, I can't imagine. Like, I feel like, I feel like the second you're an alien. I feel like you're just like, yeah, because, like, I don't know. Well, think of it like this. If from an alien, it's proper racism, though, at that moment. I, you're right. So what is, what do you do at that moment? like I would like Gareth say to

N-word because he's Garris you know like he's my boy like I'd marry him if I could so like but the freaking what's called the grunt can't say it Talley definitely can't say it Leara maybe Learra doesn't have a dad

so she might be able to say What the fuck does that even mean Learra's without fathers or she might be able to say to Edward That's so fucked All right So let's move on I see you guys

Yeah go ahead move on I sent you guys some, another fictional character saying the N-word. Damn it. Whenever you guys want. I can't see it. Whenever. Oh, God.

I'm so fucking excited. All right, let's move on. We got a couple more questions. Ribbed condoms don't even taste like ribs rodent. What are you laughing at, Sweeney? What are you fucking?

Some stupid shit I said. Can you open to Twitter or not? Yeah, yeah, I can't. I got so excited. I got so excited. I was like, is he really going to say it? What is this? He thought it was real?

I was like, you're really going to say it? No way, he can't. And it was, oh my God. That's so stupid. He's literally like, I forgot about that show. I forgot so much about fucking that show. Red Foreman. And Red Format is like literally my fit,

because he's always threatening to hit his son or his wife. And it's like, yo, man. Dude, he was in the fucking, he was in Vietnam and shit. Like, this guy's racist as shit. You know, he's like, you know they just left it out of the show, but he's that guy. He's definitely really uncomfortable on Asian people. Like, really uncomfortable. Like, he walks in and he's just like hand on his waist the whole time they're looking around.

Oh, my God. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on. ribbed condoms don't even taste like ribs rodent says greetings and salutations to my two favorite podcasters and the other one please help settle a debate I had with a friend I recently learned that after giving birth some new parents will cook and eat the placenta

I think we can all agree this is disgusting but my question is this is eating the placenta cannibalism I say yes my friend says no keep up the great work you guys This is a multifaceted question We gotta we gotta get break down This is two arguments, okay Okay

Two arguments I don't think so What are your definition of cannibalism Eating I think the definition of is eating It is eating the like Flesh and tissue Of a human

Okay I don't think I don't think it's the fluids Now the placenta Has all those cells in it for the most part But it is after birth And people do eat it I don't think it's cannibalism, personally. I don't think.

I don't think it meets the criteria. I don't think it does because then like it pretty much I would think like if you were, you know, chicks fucking swallowing those loads and stuff would be like, oh, it's cannibalism, you know, that's literally where it starts. You know what I mean? And we don't get. I guess. It's like me when I suck the eggs out of my girlfriend, nigga.

That's not the same thing. When I vacuum suck all her eggs out of her. Jesus Christ. Fucking Patrick. fucking cookies and shit that's especially grim when you consider the fact that

you're just pretending to do it because your girlfriend's not real I think I don't think it's cannibalism either I was trying to like be like a contrarian and like kind of argue for the sake of argument but I really can't think of like even like a funny way of like arguing that it is because it's just isn't

gross that's all it is it's just fucking stupid and you shouldn't do it's just fucking stupid and you shouldn't do it, you're a weird fucking freak who does it. If you do it, you're a fucking freak and you don't deserve much sympathy for it. But like, I mean, you know. Much. Right. Um, you know. I just don't know what would compel you to do that, you know? Like, it just seems like such a fucking baffling thing to just

immediately assume. First of all, it's weird to assume that you can do it in the first place. You know? It's a very weird thing to just look at some. Yeah. It's a very weird. It's like, it's disgusting. It's, it's fucking disgusting. It came out of you. Why your mind would go there? It came out of you.

Why would your mind go there? It's not. It's not meant to go back. Like, you know what I mean? It's one of those ritualistic things that some people do. I feel like it's just in the same line as cutting your baby's dick. You know what I mean? Like, where you're just, people told you was a good idea and then you fucking did it.

When there's, like, what are you doing? Like, when you actually think about it, you're like, what are you doing? You're cutting this person's dick, this little baby's dick. now you want to eat some slime that came out. Like, what the fuck are you doing? That is crazy. That is a really fucking, like, that's so gross. I'm like, imagine, imagine just, you're going home and you're like, you just had your baby, you know, your wife's home.

And she's back on the ability to be able to walk around, you know, she's not, she's not bedridden. Hi, I'm Dr. Jacobman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or, or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN,

because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. if someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation,

plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion.

$20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. And you hear someone's supposed on cooking. You're like, oh, that smells good. You sit down and you get a plate. You bite into it. It's like, oh, what's this?

Oh, it's after birth. I'd be like, what? Did you just feed me afterbirth? I'm taking the kid and I'm leaving. Yeah, she's getting Falcon Punch. She's getting a nice little. I'm taking a kid and I'm leaving. I'm leaving her wherever it's her devices.

She can live wherever she wants by herself, but she's not going to be around my kid anymore. That's it. Yeah, I think that's justifiable. Like, it's just too much. Let's see. Anything. Anything. I'm like, yo, you can't be around my child with that.

kind of bullshit. Right. I was going to hit you, but I chose not to because I'm a better man than that. I'm taking my kid. Falcon, man. Falcon, I want it. Like, literally dress up as Captain Falcon and then hitter. You dress up, you have a spare Captain Falcon costume that's fitted for your body with a cup and everything. The whole aesthetic, you have even have light up fucking what you call, like a light up visor on the front of the helmet. and then you just whoop your girlfriend's ass, bro. You whip your mother's child's mother's ass, bro. He would understand.

Like, your kid would understand when you got older. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would have beat her ass too. All right. Let's go ahead. Let's move on to Sputie Boy. Sputie Boy wrote it and he says, Hello, they're lock, shock, and cock.

What's the worst advice you've ever received from an adult, teacher, or an authority figure. I'm going to go ahead and steal this from my parents, because my parents have a really good one. We had an aunt who in the 90s was like, guys, don't invest in Apple or Google. That shit's going nowhere. That's great.

Which, you know, and I'm sitting here before you because of that. Now this is my job. Now I do this for a living. Yeah, now I'm a slave to those companies. Instead. I've learned to not listen to people when they say that. I usually do the opposite. Yeah.

A teacher when he was in high school, they had some weird thing going on. Disney was about to be popping. And then they had some shares. They were like, and then, and then they're like, don't fuck. Don't, don't. They're like, don't waste your time with this type of shit. That was basically,

cinnamon and then you know everybody around that time obviously they want to hang themselves now and they're like oh disney's so huge why would you think you know i guess at the time you how could you fucking foresee that that disney was going to be such a the Disneyland I meant Disneyland was going to be such a like banger and everything about it was going to be so fucking iconic they probably just thought oh it's probably going to be a fucking raging water type thing or some shit who knows i don't know yeah but i said don't listen to those people just fucking take a handful of anything like that And if it doesn't, if it's nothing, you wasted a few bucks. If it's something, you're fucking good to go.

Yeah, exactly. That's the thing. It's always like, you know, let's get a few dollars, throw it in there. What's the worst thing I ever fucking heard it? What's the most of the advice I was ever given, you know? It must be like some teacher giving you shit advice. Like, teachers, like, teachers giving me shit advice about, like, school. Because, like, I remember hearing so much that, like, without college, you can't make a living as an adult.

And I'm just like. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's such bad advice. Like I don't like I'm like I currently I'm like in my nursing school and like I at this moment now more so than ever in my life I am so over school. I hate it.

Well yeah you're 27. It's it's like it's just the scam is falling apart more and more. The older you get the more that you realize that this is just this is just bullshit. The institution is just ran incorrectly like I'm not being taught shit and I have to learn like I'm learning how to become a nurse on my own more so than being taught how to become a nurse and that is a huge problem because I have to save I have to protect lives and like is it's like oh yeah I hate this this is stupid but I can't possibly give up now because of how much time I've wasted on it right I would just

it just sucks that there's no alternative huh it's yeah it sucks that there's no alternative for you wasted money right right I mean it totally makes sense and like there's I thought Something really blew my mind. There's a guy named Derek from more plates, more dates, his YouTube channel is. And he runs like a health clinic and all this stuff. And people, including myself, thought he was an endocrinologist because of how knowledgeable he is. He's just like, no, I'm just a nerd. And I just really like this stuff.

But his knowledge is so much deeper than fucking endocrinologist I've seen myself. And it's just like, well, you can run a clinic and get doctors and all this stuff. And he's done amazing things. And it was cool that he can do that. But say if you want to work specifically in the medical field, there's still nothing. There's still no alternative. You still need that piece of paper.

It sucks. It's wild. I want to, I want to not like, if I didn't take off this winter, I would have dropped out and I would have lost my mind because I'm just like the point where it just makes me sick to think about school. You should just be able to take all the fucking test and prove that you know how to do shit.

And you don't have to specifically do the, you know, the prepackaged thing that's sold to you. makes sense. That makes sense. Well, no, because then people would just sell, people would just sell like the answer. You know what I mean? Like, they would be like, no, it's not like it's just because there's

still hands on shit you have to do. Right. If you know what I'm saying? Oh, right, right. Because there's a lot of stuff that goes into it, right? That's why it takes so fucking long. Yeah, I, I, I know what you're saying. I do agree that like you should just be able to, you should just be able to prove that you know how to do what you're trying to do. What happens is that if you do that,

college like banks and like the fucking iris all that shit is so heavily built into the structure of like the conation that if you that one pillar falls

other pillars will fall down so that's why you just can't do that there should be a way that you can just take a test and fuck off and forget about all that shit you had to worry about

but you can't like I'm pretty sure you can't even take the MCAT since you prove you have X amount of years of school which is so stupid because what if you just know

it already exactly But hey, you know Guys, if you want to go to school, go to school Don't let me be the person I mean it's I feel like this point People

If at this point Everyone knows how scamy school is If they're going They know and they're going for a reason At this point they know already It's not like you or I or anybody Can dissuade them Because they already know all the other bullshit

That goes into a dog A lot of young people don't know it A lot of younger people don't know it yet I don't know how they don't know it Like what are they in a living fucking underpway Patrick's rock? Like, how do you not know? They're just, they're just kids, you know? As a young adult, you're like,

we, when I was 16 years old, I figured out. I talked to my counselor and I was like, I'm not going to college specifically because for what I want to do, it's pointless. Like, it's not going to help me specifically. And they're all trying to like, what if this and this and that? I'm like, I'm not fucking, you want me to go in debt as if I have a fucking mortgage before I even do anything? Like, no, I'm good.

I was like, I'm good. And then they're like, okay, you nigger. okay you pathetic nigger go play basketball and I was like oh shit oh my god that's a really drastic respond pathetic nigga you pathetic pathetic pathetic is such an insult because it just means that you can't win it means that you can't overcome what you're fighting against yeah then uh I got knee capped because I was playing I was playing ball and I thought that I could make it and then that counselor kneecap me and they're like oh now what you can do you want to go to college and it was it was a mess but you know, I think I'm doing okay now. It's a lot.

It's a lot. You got to want to do it. And honestly, when school is proper, like, when you're learning, like, actually learning school and you're like, when school as a system works, which it doesn't really, it's amazing. Because it's just fun. It's just a time that go and, like, you really gain, like, a wealth of knowledge, a lot of experience of people that know what they're doing. But when it's not, it's just like, why am I here paying money for this?

What is this? That's the key thing, though. I think most people wouldn't mind if if there was some type of, you know, like, we say free in quotations, but it was like the government took care of this shit, right? And then he's like, go to school to become something great and then let's improve upon society and all this stuff. You know, taxes are going to be a little bit higher stuff, but it's going to be worth it at the end of the day. You know, it would be cool. Why would they do that? Why would they do that, bro?

Because then people would be smarter. Why would they do that? People would be smarter. And a lot of the shit that goes on, that shouldn't be going on. would be able to fly because society's smarter as a whole. Of course. Yeah, you can do you ask you. Stop being so fucking stupid, Derek. God damn it.

All right. Dumbie. I mean, come on, man. I'm with you. I fucking watch George Colin when it's a stand-up. I'm completely jaded and I'm aware of everything. All right. Let's move on. Let's get some more questions. Landon

Landon Hansen wrote and he says, hello, two-thirds of a Hispanic Oreo. I'm not sure how I feel about that. As a child, as a child, oh my God, what the fuck is this question? As a child who was the one woman you would let groom you, no questions asked. Wow. What is this question, son? You can't ask stuff like that, buddy.

Linda Cardellini for sure, Linda Cardalini for sure. Like absolutely. Like with that and doubt. Like Velma from the Scooby-Doo movies? Yeah, absolutely. She's aged so well, dude. Like, genuinely, she's aged very, very, very well. Or I would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, why not?

Why not? Elaine from the 90s. 90s, Elaine? Yeah, for sure. I would, I would go. I would definitely, like, start a whole storm later on, though. I'd get as much money as I could. You'd fuck her light up later on.

Yeah, yeah. I would definitely say Galane, Maxx. I would definitely say. you'd be oh my lord have you seen them titty son have you seen them titty did you guys see did you guys see that the yeah you're fucking disgusting by the way

did you guys see the that the the Twitter account that was live tweeting the Galane Maxwell trial got fucking of course it got yeated him that is that's that shit was wide they're not hiding it dude

they killed Epstein they're not hiding this shit before dude Jeffie they killed him and they put him down, they put him to sleep, they fucking gears of war headshot at him in his cell.

He got quick time evented, bro. Some CIA, some CIA motherfucker magnetizes back to a chest high wall peaked out and fucking popped his head. What if they actually got John DiMaggio to lancer him with a chainsaw? Oh my God.

They wanted to really get rid of him. John's like, wait, dude, I don't, I just, I'm just his voice. I don't actually do that. Go there. We don't want to hear. We need it done right now.

We have the CIA. You can't refuse us. Or we'll get Dom to chainsaw you. You're like, what the fuck? We'll get fake. We'll get the voice of Marcus Phoenix to kill you for no fucking reason. Because no one else will know it's just for them too. It's just for him and Epstein.

That's it. That's all the purpose it would serve. That's so stupid. They make a real lance. Could you imagine? Could you imagine holding a real lancer? You know how much that shit must weigh? That's at least a solid 30 pounds right there you're holding.

Dude, you're holding a solid 30 pound instrument right there. Not only. I would say probably 50. Yeah, because not only is it a heavy gun. Guns are heavy. but also the fact that it's a heavy gun with gasoline in it to power a fucking chainsaw, bro. That gun is a walking nightmare. That gun is a walking nightmare because since it's a gun, it's internal combustion and then it has gasoline in it.

So anything that that shit will just blow up and tear you into pieces. Well, that's why I love it is such a fucking dangerous creation. That's a 13 year old creation, like some 13 year old at school. This drew a fucking gun There's a chainsaw attached This is so fucking cool And then the teacher's like The one fucking shop teacher is like

Yo that is the most dangerous thing to be holding Your hand and he's like fuck you And he sells it to Microsoft and he gets Millions Yeah And the kid that was Jeffrey Epstein That's how Epstein got so much money Everything comes full circle

That was him It was Epstein that's old it to him bro That's why he's rich I'm pretty sure he's been wealthy for much longer than that. Just saying. I think there's like in the 80s or something or early 90s where they're partying and shit. Yeah. Trump and Musk and all this shit.

Dude, it's crazy how all of them have pictures together. So crazy. You know what I'd like groom me? Even though she's dead now. But bro, Selena? Hi, I'm Dr. Jacob and I'm the host of Beyond the Script. a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter.

In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their. OBGYN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular

sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that can kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.

One. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing

pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Selena was a bad fucking bitch, bro. She was hot. It was insane how attractive she was. She had the fattest ass of that time, bro.

Like put J-Lo to, put J-Lo to shame, bro. Yeah, J-Lo killed her. What? J-Lo killed Selena. Selena was bad, bro. I hate to say it. Selena was a bad, bitch. Bad bitch, bro.

Salinas. But I thought that way about Shakira because of her gyrating hips. That did something to me as a kid. That did something to me. That kid. Like Shakira, that Colombian gyrating shit, I was like, okay. This is different. Like, it's different.

I appreciated it, man. Because I never seen anything like that. I never seen on mainstream television. This fucking Colombian broad. You know why? Because you're not Hispanic, bro. I've been seeing. Exactly.

Exactly. Exactly. I've been seeing women shake their hips on television since I was a child, bro. Yeah. Since I was a little kid, dude. I didn't see any of that shit. So then I just had regular American television, like just Western fucking white bullshit. So then when she came up to North America and started speaking English and her song like changing the words in her song, and I'm like, I'm fucking here for it. No, man. Yeah. I remember she, uh, she did a crowd surf one time at a at a VMAs or something. And I was like, oh, man, do you know those people were fucking doing some shit they should not have been doing

while they were passing her around? You got to hope people had respect. You got to hope. You got to hope. People don't have respect in general. But like that, right. The Spanish television is so insane. It's so horrible, actually.

I love it. God bless us. My grandmother did not. Like, my grandmother was like, this is such a horrible representation of us as a people. I don't like this I disagree so heavily It's a whole It's a horrible representation

It's it's more It's like BET's representation Of black people It's like the worst shit ever It's really really really bad I don't care If they're a representative Have you watch

Flaco I Gordo Or Flokyigordo That shit is horrible Oh my God I didn't watch the show I just what I'm talking about Dude I'm not even talking about the TV show I'm talking about the news

Like just the news Just you had like watch, I would watch that shit with my I saw it. I'd be like, holy shit. I saw a little girl got hit by a van. I was like, gee, why, I was like, why'd you show me? Like, can't you just talk about it? They're like, nah, dude, check this out.

She went flying. I was like, fuck. That's no. It's so depressing. I hate Spanish television. I hate, I hate American, Latin American television. Oh, I love it. It's just the worst. I love it.

It's just like, here's some hot lady telling you, what stocks are up and down and just she's dressed in such a fucking stupid like it's she's like a game designed by 15 year old it's so stupid like so insane do you guys remember lollipop chainsaw that video game of course it's like it's like it's like of course you do yeah of course but like it's like it's like that but in Spanish and it's serious and it's TV and it's the news it's such a ridiculous I don't know, man. It completely desensitized me. Like, when I was young, I would just say I got so used to it. I was like, it's so bad. And then we grew up just really horny little boys. So overly horny little boys. But I, my grandma wouldn't let me watch it. I'd watch it. I'd be like, I don't know what this lady's saying. But her ass is so big, I'm mesmerized. As a six-year-old to sit in front of a television, just silent staring, bro. You know what's hilarious. You know what's fucking wild. I was, uh, Because I was watching Comedy Central recently, like super late.

It was just on because like I have access to like cable now where I'm at. So and I haven't had, I haven't watched cable television since like literally like 2000 and maybe 13. Like it's been super a long time like almost 10 years. So I was watching it and it was comedy central was like super late at night and a commercial. No, it wasn't a Girls Gone Wild. This time it's like phone sex hotlines. And now it's like now it's just like talk to fucking whatever. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.

this time of night and this happened yeah dude like I got nostalgic for a second because I was like oh my god I remember back in my day it was girls gone wild at 1142

you hear those fucking it'd be that Jamaican steel drums bum bum bum bum dun dun dun I was like fuck yeah dude let's go I'm glad I stayed up late tonight it just sounds like dude

I would I would for real I would time it Like I would know when it was going to start. Like I knew like by heart when it would come on. You'd feel it. Your body would pull you towards you and be like, ah, it is time now. Good night, mother. Good night, father.

I must go rest. My TV had a, had a lock on it too. So I couldn't watch that shit. But then I like, I guess the code. And I never told my parents that I knew what the code was. I would like, I would relock. I would relock it after like, you know. Well, E, the, the entertainment channel.

Yeah. That shit was fucking dope, man. Because they had, I had Howard Stern on there, which was always wild shit. And then they would have these fucking, like, tit reduction shows or tit surgery shows. You watch those. Yeah, they would show you the titties. Of course you watch. You wait.

You, that's close. Hold on. Let's watch them too. No. Oh, my Lord. That's so strange. Because, like, I saw those shows, too when I was young and I was, like, very, like, obviously, like, everybody. But at the same time, like, like, yeah.

Like I watched the shows. I was like, this is, I don't want to see them in this context. It's just, it was fucking, they'd show the bare titty. I needed that.

I need, I needed to see that. It was way cooler than fucking like going to some stupid website where it's already there. It's like, oh my God, there's titties on TV. It was like that,

it was that thing where they're just, you know, the doctor just shows up and fucking rips her shirt off. And then you start slapping her tities around just to like, and start drawing little like dots on them and stuff. Like, we're going to make them five times bigger, bitch.

And I'm like, dude, let's go. It was so fucking lit. I remember that. It would be, it would be a male cocktail. It would be like me at like 11.

I'd watch fucking Spike TV. I'd watch a bunch of fucking horrible shit that I'd go to E. And then after I'd go to E, I'd go to watch a girl, and I'd fall asleep. And it'd be like, Goddain. That's so funny because I actually just...

Unhealthy combination. I honestly just watched E. Like, I watched it because I was like vaguely interested. Because they had like Joel McKell had the super. McHale had the soup on E. And that's the only reason I would watch it. I would be like, oh, here's the soup with Joel

McHale. And I was like, oh, I like this guy. I hope he does a show called community at some point. And, and and then yeah, but then it was like all, VH1 was fucking so funny. Because VH1

had, uh, what is it? Like, I love New York and like flavor of love and all these like stupid. I used to, and rock of love too. Yeah, rock of love with fucking Brett Michaels with his fucking stupid hair ruined TV they did the first reality shows was like real world and road rules and that was just kind of it for a while then a little bit of survivor it was mild than VH1 just hey everything anything you can think of making a reality show like fucking

ruined everything yo you guys remember when I got a man I watched a couple of them I remember when 716 and pregnant came out and teen mom came out and I remember watching out one of my girlfriends at the time and I was like how can you watch this this is so sad this is genuinely the sad these are just girls that got pregnant by idiot motherfuckers just trying to make it day by day I don't want to see people be sad and girls crying about she might not be able to feed her baby I'm like this is hell it's so powerful and I'm like you're insane I have I have a very vivid memory of of not the show because I kind of dabbled with it and somebody was talking about it. And then they were saying like, oh, did you hear that Farah?

This chick name was Farah. She does she does she does she does she just getting just rammed in her ass and all. And I was like, what's happening? And so I guess this one shit and good for her, I guess she got on the show and everyone's like, oh, what an idiot. She sucks or whatever. And then she took her notoriety and went to like one of the big. porn companies and now she was getting

slammed by a bunch of... Farah Abraham, right? Or something like that? It must be that. It must be that. Her name was Farrah for sure. I remember hearing a story like something like this. Wasn't she the Octo mom? No, no, no, no, no. The Octum mom actually lived in my hometown,

which was fucking weird. She moved to my hometown is tiny and it has no, like, it's just known for good football. Nothing else. And for some reason she moved in and everyone's like, what the fuck the fucking Awamomom? Like she lives right here on my neighborhood. It was weird.

What is her name? What is the Octamomomah's name? There's no point of touching the octam anymore. She's done. Oh, Jesus Christ. Nadia Solman. Let's calm down. She's 46.

I mean, oh my God. Oh, is that why? Because maybe she was, she was born in a town adjacent. And that, oh, okay, okay. That's weird. That's weird. Hey, man. I didn't know that.

Stranger things have happened. Right. Of course. But, uh, all right. Let's go, let's go one more. Let's see if we can find one good thing to end on. Something happy.

Nikki Ziggy. Dude, that's weird. Sorry. Sorry. No, it was just, it was just people also search for when I typed in Optomomomomom and it says

Farah Abraham. That's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah, weird. Like, I guess there is some connection there. Like, either they had like similar names or something.

Like, I don't know. Or they, looked similar or they were they were trending around the same time i don't know just probably both moms that people didn't like or some shit some something like that i don't know whatever proceed all right let's see uh nicky ziggi wrote in he says she says hello boys it's been a quick minute i couldn't think of a good serious or existential question to end the year with so i have some stupid shit instead question nice what's the funniest targeted ad you have ever received i was once

watching a few shoe on head video shoe on head video When I noticed that YouTube was advertising a variety of pastas to me. Because she's Italian. That's so stupid. How does it know that? I don't know. They hear her talk and just like, oh, this fucking... Your Italian light.

His greasy fucking chick. Here you go, you want some pasta. That's so fucking rude. Oh, my God. Hey, that's the algorithm, not me. Yeah. I don't know. I used to get...

There was one time where a targeted ad I got was straight up just porn. Like, I don't know. It was just a YouTube video that was just pornography. And I was like, hot. I only got it once. And I went to click skip and I did because I just didn't want to see the ad. I wanted to get to the video. It was like something I was really excited to see.

And then it started and then I saw like actual nudity and like some craziness happening. But by the time I clicked it, I was like, wait, what? The fuck? What was that? And it was gone. Like it was never to be seen heard from again But the most ridiculous ones I see still on Twitter every so every so often on Facebook especially Even though I don't use Facebook anymore, but like when I used to about like even just a year ago

There are these mobile games that are like Save Sarah or something and it's just level one crooks and all that shit Yeah, like that stuff. Yeah, I think so I don't know I don't remember the name because I just like I saw them and they're just so striking it's just like these cartoon games, like they're flash games that are basically made for what seems like children, but then it's just like, oh, like this girl on a torture device or just like some random, some insane shit. I'm like, why is this being targeted to me? I don't play anything on this.

I don't play anything on Facebook or Twitter. What the fuck are you doing? It'll make you think, you know? It really does make you think. Yeah, I saw one of those type of games that was, uh, it was a chick jail and they're all hot or whatever. Yeah. You're a level one.

You're a level one crook and you got to break them out. And then you save her. And then you level up. But then it shows the level 30 mafia boss. She hops in the car with them. Oh, yeah. And the cop comes. I've seen that one.

Do you, do you fucking? Do you snitch or do you do you sit or do you say you don't know what happened? And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is this game? So Tuesday So almost a week ago This was so offensive to me Because I'm a towering 5 foot 6 And they advertised to me

Built in boost You fucking, it'll make you like a couple inches taller Or something I was like that is so fucking offensive I was like that is so I don't even care I'm fine why are you like you short bitch You want to get fucking two three inches taller And I was like, I was, I was, wow. Wow.

I was like, how does it know? It's such a dumb way to look taller too. Offensive. My girlfriend wears those sometimes. She's real awesome. Before you guys, you get something, you fucked it. She wears, she has. Real short.

She is real short. She's like short than Chris. He's really small. But, um, she's a woman. They're usually pretty small. I mean, she's particularly tiny. She's not that tiny. She's short.

She's like five. one dude. That's not that short. That's like pretty standard woman. Really? I feel like. I guess women in my family are tall. Because my sister's like five, my niece is like six feet, not six feet, like five, ten, maybe. And all of them are fairly.

That's just a tall woman. That's like, I would say five three, five four is the average woman. Yeah. Woman. You're not like, yeah. Mulan,

when they, when they, when they reveal, uh, pink, was a woman. I always love that scene because a woman and then throws her and shit he throws her down. I'm like, why do you that?

You didn't have to throw her to the floor, you asshole. It's a woman. Like, they respected her so much until they're like, wait, what is this? Toster and shit. You have pits. You got tis. Ew, you got a freaking. Shane was so pissed. He was so pissed. He was so pissed. He was so pissed. I was like, I was in love with this dude.

And now it's a girl. Oh, no. I was so okay with being gay I went through my mind accepting that I was gay and now it's a girl now I'm gay he gets kicked and he was like he was like oh like he was so like into being he was like he makes that smile

like uh and you're like wait a minute bro wait a minute dude you you were okay with that you're actually a little upset that it's a girl aren't you fucking damn it fuck man he was What makes that word is because you accept the fact that you're in love with a man now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of paramedopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN,

because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that can kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently. It said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. And you accept it. You accept,

and you try to move on with this phase of your life. Right. And then it's a girl. And now you're like, what? Now, what am I exactly? Where do I go? You just had a weird crossroad. That's a fucking, that's a wrench thrown in the gears for sure. Like that's like that's a lot of processing to do He thought about it He was looking forward to He's like you know what I want to try penis I'm looking forward to it

I want to I want to do stuff with it And then all of a sudden no penis And how do you cope with that You're like how do you cope Like I was about to fuck this dude happily And now like That's what to reach around And I was gonna eat his ass and jerk his dick

But like I guess I can't do that Trombone. That is such a fucking filthy name. I can't. That is so wild. Rusty trombone. I love the day. I just,

I think of the sound. Like, what's happening is, it's just making the fucking trombone. Do you think, do you think he would write in the same way that country artists in 2001

wrote a lot of 9-11 songs to kind of cope with what was happening. Do you think that he would write kind of like his own 9-11 song about almost being gay? Let's get down to bussy. Let's get down to penis because I need some come. Some calm. It's so easy. It's so easy to make everything gay. Everything gay.

It's so fucking. phenomenally easy. Like it's just like you bite as well. Yo, oh my God. Some cock. I just thought of something amazing now. It's not going to hit as hard because this album is so fucking old. It's not super old,

but like 2006 Lasers by Lupe Fiasco. Oh my God. He has a fucking song called All Black Everything. What if I made it all gay everything? All right. Let's because. Okay, yeah, we'll move on. You know what?

I'm still going to do it. I don't care. All right, let's do another way. because I think fucking man thanks for stopping by guys we appreciate you push

dick push and bust right up down my throat oh my fucking god if you liked what you heard

today boy I want you to know consider consider consider supporting us over at patreon.com what the fuck was

this episode a lot of gayifying about appropriating gay episode is you just say gay episode I'm just going to name this episode gay.

No, don't name it gay. If we have an ad on it, we can't have it. Just be the gay. This one having an ad on it because we stopped to wait for a, I gotta wait for, for the shit to come in. Yeah. Gay shadow legends. Gay, shadow.

Oh my God. Patreon.com slash the snark tank. Patreon.com slash the snark tank. Come over to it. One dollar month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes. $5 gets you question around on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment.

And you're in for. good, $25 gets your name to Slexic you read at the end of the show, which I will now do count me down. Two. I was going to say something that I shouldn't have said so. I stopped myself. One. The midget we lost at Astro World. Questioning.

What a start. What a start. What a start. What a intro. I don't think you could say that anymore. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. It's like it's a good word though.

It's kind of unfortunate. It is a good word. That's honestly most of these things are. Questing. Questing like I think retarded is such a good word still. Questing for serotonin. I never use that. I never use that word.

Let's go. I don't. I don't use that word. Not that do I. Because I think stupid sounds funny. You fucking dumb dumb, you stupid idiot. Yeah.

I don't know. I think retarct pretty great. I'm not alive. Yeah, I can't, I can't abide. Like, there are a lot of words that I'm like, you know what? I'll go ahead. You know what? Fine.

I'm not going to say that anymore. It's been deemed. It's not okay to say that. Fair enough. The Boston people saying retarded. Love it. Yeah. I don't know, man.

Like, just hearing that in Xbox Live, just hearing that in like Xbox Live postgame lobbies. It's like, I just, I'm always going to miss that shit. And like, because it's just so a great. Postgame lobbies are kind of gone now. Like, they just don't even. Definitely. gone. Yeah, like they don't

happen anymore which sucks. It's just like I miss that. I miss it's like you fucking, you fucking piece of shit, you fucking, you stole every one of my kills you fucking die. And then it would cut off immediately because like there was a time limit on the fucking post game. I think last week everybody's gonna go play Modern Warfare 2 on the old servers just

for no reason. There's like a big thing happening. I gotta look it up but I know it's next week it's 20 something. I want to be a part of it because who cares if you get banned from that shit? I would do that not even for the game but just for the post game Lobby. Like I would, I would sincerely, I would be, that would be a mood for sure. I would do it. I'm going to figure it out because I think we should definitely fucking get in on that shit.

Yeah, because it's back compad on, uh, three, on Xbox, I think. Yeah, definitely is. Definitely is. Very much so. That's exciting. I'm looking forward to that. Anyway, on with the names. Questing for serotonin. Nowhere God loves get what the, you people, nowhere God loves gets hit with an excessive amount of, natural disasters. I don't know. That makes sense. That makes sense. Now where God loves gets to it.

Yeah, that makes sense. December 21st. All right, guys, remember that. Look into it. Put in Model 1 for 2, December 21st, and you can get all the info. All right, cool. I got to check that out after this. Jackson Stuff 777. Fuck you, Steve. Your brother is better than you. Elton John's forgotten hit single crocodile cock. Board Burger. St. Maxie.

Johnson and Johnson is a dog whistle for Jeffrey Epstein and Jared Fogle. I fell asleep at a nickelback Daughtry and Stain concert Story and thread We gotta read that guy's story by the way I read it on the Patreon But I didn't have time to put it in this episode What was it? He fell asleep at a nickelback show

And it's a good It's not bad We'll start the next episode with it Because I think it's a good one But rusty cages Apoxied rat Chris sweet baby Reagan Talos Valcoran

Apothecari First Claw 10th company 8th Legion Alst the wall, no you didn't say it right I will gladly die on this hill Mega Man X8 was great you gotta calm down man It's not dude Come on First of all even if it was man

Like you're trying too hard Like you're trying too hard You know You gotta move on Mega Man X8 was a great game Y'all are fucking retarded especially for Derek for starting this Maxwell Avi Chris Raygun more like

How it feels to chew five gum I became a patron and spent 25 bucks to not be able to come up with a clever name. No Dick Seaman Demon. The transition was a success. Duncan, Master of All Things Cute and Funny, wage slave, 583. I help.

Help, I shot my son. I love the idea that he would write that in. The most effective way he has of getting help is to write it as a Patreon name that we get to read once a week instead of, Calling the cops. He's scared. You know when you fuck up and you don't think? That happens.

You're like, oh man, what do I do? What do I do? I shot my son, help. Oh my God. An eagle just flew off with my baby

to no fault of my own. Who could have seen this coming? What a sad scenario. Derek, you're just like like a lamp. Derek left. Does Sandman come sand to avoid unwanted pregnancies? Dead inside.

Arcane Furukawa. Better to pee in the sink than singing to pee. not in women like Chuck Berry, parentheses IP in the sink. Shrink is Finkel dunk, the warlock using transversive steps, and $25 gets you a ride on Santa Slay. Come have a ho-ho-hoe Christmas with the boys. I challenge

the other Connor King to a fight to the death. There can only be one. Parapologics aren't people because people are bipedal, rovus skater, the bipolar masturbator. I have PPSD. I finally lost my virginity and now my dad won't stop locking his door. Wow

Riber Flawer Riber 525 In the mystery of the sudden Uptick and Tomboy appreciation Jack Hinghoff Racist Snake Sweeney

You have to let her go It's been three years The accident wasn't your fault Gears of Hoar 4 Dom squirts galore Tell him Steve There's already a Gears of War 4 So that doesn't work

But It might as well just be Gears of Hoar You know Like it doesn't need to be the fourth one Years of horror. My penis is coming.

Oh my God. Tell him Steve Dave. Stop and stop and stick. Is this another song you guys are making me saying? Stop and stick around. Come through and dig the sound of the fly brown 6-0 psycho who throws his dick around. Derek, what the fuck, dude? Derek, you look like.

I want your come. You look so different. time. Like, I don't understand how you're finding all these different uses. You look so fucking scary. You look like a fucking, I don't even know, like an aunt almost. Like, there's something like what? There's something. Derek, you look like, you look like what I'd imagine they draw Kim John Lunez. Like every picture of Kim John Oon just drawn in such a brilliant light. A close-up of like a, you know those,

Oh my God. You know those, what are they called water bears? You know those like microscopic insects? Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Surviving space and shit. Yeah, it almost looks like you're one of those. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script.

The podcast where I sit down with pharmacist to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola. who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy.

And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Like, everything's abstract enough. I hate it. That's actually it. It's

pretty good. My name is Ryden, and the president just grabbed my balls. Andre Brooks, Antifist Maximus, the host of Mussolini's Penaida party. Vanessa, listen, it's fine. I got cream for the crabs. I'm not mad anymore. Just talk to me. God is dead because Travis Scott killed him. Bears. If I were an animal, I'd be a bear. They're cute. They're cute. Dear Lord, I'm going to hell for this. John Strickland. Limp Snihanes. Merck's 1889.

The meat beats geets neatly on her teats. Hi, I'm Paul. The first church of Keith David, the one church that doesn't touch your kids. Drunken Doolahan, Pree-Raz. Doug Dim a dumbass. A tiny Asian man. The biological son of Tom Sweeney and a side. gone whore. Come man. The man of come. The man of come. Blake 896, Mario spreading his asshole live on Twitch. The epic Ashwad. Uh, fucking kill me. Hey boss informs a copy and pasted block of

text usually posted on a message board to troll new users. Uh, Ryan Luchessey, Zagle. Fuck you, Chris. Half the time I only listen to the dumbass names I come up with. Slashy Scout. Aetrosone. combine the N word, the F word, and the R word for maximum damage. Tom Sweeney, the atrocious alien fucker. Oh my God, that is a powerful word. It's too powerful. That's pretty, that's a lot. That's, um, that's like you brought, that's like you burned down a house to get like a mouse out, you know?

Like, that's like you could have just, you could have just set a trap or got a cat or something. Antifa Sarkesian, Lord of Autism and High Priest of the Church of Asian Keith David from Cloud Atlas. And imagine dragons cover of Blow Me Away in the next Halo. Oh my God. That would... At that point, no one can fault me for being upset. At that point, like, you know it's targeted. Hard hat skydiver.

Somebody, by the way, somebody mentioned... Somebody quotuated that Imagine Dragons Suite, and they were like, what did they do? did they molest you or something? And in my mind, it would be better if they had because at least if they had, I could like out them and it would be away forever. But instead, you're so passionately angry against them. It's so funny.

Welcome to the hazo. That would fucking kill me. To the halo. To the halo. Halo. What if they did? the theme song, like the, oh,

all right, guys. And they ruin it. All right, all right, all right. None of, uh, that's it. I'm not reading the rest of the names. You're done. Sorry. Sorry, you paid all this money,

but you're not going to get to the end. Oh my God. Hard hat skydiver. Alaskan oil field trash. Evil Kevin Durant doesn't have stone skin. Marcus Shorton. Oh, my God. Marcus Shorton.

That's fuck. Alec Baldwin hauling soap from the metallic prison shower floor in parentheses. Game controller, 25. I live for your piss, Chris. Nicky Ziggy. Hey, you're in the list. Murder ascended. Keith David.

Keith David, the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain. All systems go. The sun hasn't died. Deep in my bones straight from inside. I'm about to come. Labarit. What are you doing? Derek, what

Are you hanging yourself? I'm sweating! I fucking hate this. Lobotomized Jesus in his merry I'm not going to say that, man, I'm not going to say it. I'm sorry, man, lobotomized Jesus. I'm not going to say this. What is it?

I just, I'm not going to say that. I can't. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis parentheses I masturbate while driving. Hiroshima's spicy mushrooms. I'll screen cap it. and I'll send it to you. Dummy Thick Dave,

Heartless Wretch, aka the fat black manlet from the worst borough objectively. I give it a 9.5 to 10. It's a pretty nice cock. Cumfield Twinkie versus Comfield sweet roll this Sunday. I, Christopher Maldonado,

frequently and enthusiastically masturbate my while while watching Kingston's sleep. Ah, look at that. So you can imagine so you can imagine what I didn't want to say.

Um, yummy, yummy, yummy, Come inside my tummy. Jackson, Avsage, badly brave, Hugger, Derek, the movie theater manager, Ethereum, hunting, ass, all hands on dick. Follow at retro screencaps on Twitter for anime, aesthetic screenshots. You're insane.

Richter 86. And as always, on the third page by himself. The king of haphazard. The chosen one. The chosen one. Gay hazard. He is the only... He is the only...

He was the only... He's actually the main, he's the only person funding the show, actually. Everything else was just, every name I read was just the beginning of his name, actually. He's just him? Can you imagine? It's just him by himself? I would be okay with that. Just don't leave, please.

Just don't leave. Don't leave me. Don't leave me, girl. Don't leave me, Peter. Please gay with me. Peter, they're hurting me again. Peter, they're back, Peter. They're touching.

Timmy Peter. All right, we can stop now. We'll see it. We'll see you. Bye. Peter Piper picked the penis. This is Daniel Fischel. And Ryder Strong from PodMeet's World.

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