The Squeeze - Alyson Stoner: Stepping Away from the Industry

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Cheaper by the Dozen fans and dancers... this one’s for you. Finally having the chance to reconnect, Taylor introduces Tay to Alyson Stoner, and the two discuss their time working together and growing up in the industry. Alyson explains how there was no way for her to understand the long-term implications as a child, including how parts of her did not get a chance to fully develop. She shares how the industry affected how she understood connection: what became to her a cycle of a deep bond, followed repeatedly by a “deep break”. Tay, our resident optimist, asks Alyson if there is something about the industry she loves, which pivots the conversation to her relationship with dance and movement. She dives into what dance means to her and what she hopes to achieve through Movement Genius, her all in 1 subscription platform that takes care of your mind, body, and emotions. Alyson also speaks to what wellness means to her, and how she’s hoping to offer a space for wellness in the most authentic, inclusive fashion. At the end of this episode, we learn that if Alyson could go back in time, she would alter the course of her life and never have entered the spotlight. Would Taylor do the same? Tune in to find out.  Follow Alyson @alysonstoner, and for 50% Off Annual Access to Stress Hacks & Mental Health Routines visit MovementGenius.com/store and use code TAYLORS50  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible:   The Farmer's Dog — Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/thesqueeze. Plus, you get FREE shipping  HelloFresh — Go to HelloFresh.com/thesqueeze60 and use code thesqueeze60 for 60% off plus free shipping  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail].  Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to your reis-adviceur or sunnycars. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze.

I am your host, Taylor Lautner. I am also, Taylor Lautner. And if you are watching this, we have Remy, girl here with her ball. Oh, no. About to destroy our studio. Yep, there's a lot of wires and equipment. Oh, God. I just took a sound bath a couple nights ago.

Yes, you did. And in it, the girl that was facilitating the sound bath, she said something and I thought it was like so simple but so profound. She was like, when's the last time you told yourself you loved yourself? Like once the last time you looked in the mirror and you were like, I love you like to yourself. And I was like, oh, I have not done that in a really long time. Yeah. And I thought it was just like so profound because we have to love ourselves.

All right. All right. Let's do it right now. I'm going to look into this camera. Okay. You're going to look into that one. Great. And let's give this a shot.

Okay. Okay. You're going to go. Then I'm going to go. Yeah. Okay. This is dead serious. Okay.

Hey. How you doing? I love you. I never going to stop loving you. Bitch. Okay. Your turn. Hey, Taylor.

How are you doing? I love you. I know I haven't said it in a while, but I just want to be. I'll let you know that I love you. I cherish you. And I also love Remy. Remy.

Do you love mama? Do you love mama? Okay. Thank you so much. The title of this episode, Allison Soner and Remy, ASMR. Oh my gosh.

So, yes, our episode is with the beautiful Allison Soner. And Taylor and Allison were in cheaper by the dozen two together. Yes. Yeah.

We were lovers. You were lovers. It was super cool to hear you guys just like reconnect and cool, just cool memories and that you guys literally haven't spoken in so long. But our conversation was so great. Yeah. And she's just, she's lovely. She had so much wisdom.

And we both related to so many things that she said. Because I feel like she'd say something. And I was like, oh, that's totally Taylor. And then she said something else. I was like, oh my gosh, I've never thought about it this way. It was literally a free therapy session. But I am so excited for you guys to listen to it. You can just tell she's so kind.

Like the energy that she has is infectious. Yes. Very infectious. Yeah. I looked and we had been recording for a very long time. And I was like, oh my gosh, this has gone on a long time. but I'm so thankful for it. And I've learned so much.

And we are so excited for those of you watching, listening to join along in our conversation. Get ready. Because she's got a lot of wisdom. Yeah. I mean, we learned so much ourselves from talking with Allison. I, you know, can't imagine the impact that she's going to have on all the listeners. Enjoy. Ooh.

Allison, thank you for being here. It is so good to see you. after all these years. I've been so excited to introduce the two of you. So I'm just thrilled that you joined us and we're both really honored. Thanks for reaching out. Yeah, it's great to meet you, Tay and see you, Taylor, and to know that this is a whole family event today. The reunion is really beautiful. It's pretty exciting. Pretty exciting. Yeah, I mean, I guess I just wanted to start with something that both of us can relate to because we both kind of grew up in the same industry at the same, you know, time in our

life. And I know how like it's affected me. But I mean, where would you at this point in life, where would you say you stand with the industry and like what is your relationship with it? How has it affected you? I'm going to start off, you know, just a mild question. I mean, that was like seven questions in one. I know. Just wanted to just throw it all out there. Taylor, why don't you answer first? Who are you? I mean, you literally skipped our intro game and you just got, you wanted to know.

Oh, I forgot about citrus got real. It's my favorite part. Oh. Wow, what a bookmark. If we go to Citrus got real from that question. I mean, let's be honest, citrus did just get real. It's about to get real. Since you're not here, I'm going to pull one.

you, get ready. Okay. Very intense questions. My ASMR drum roll. Oh, wow. Deep. Oh, shoot. What?

If you can have an, it's not. If you could have an unlimited supply of something for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh. An unlimited supply of anything for the rest of your life. It would be liquid, IV. hydration packets. Wow. Because I drink them every day and it does add up over time.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. But I have always had kind of like low blood pressure and I get really dizzy really easily. And liquid IV has been like the go-to where I don't have as much fatigue. I don't have as many headaches. So I don't know if it works for, you know, everyone's body this way. but I would get the liquid IV hookup. Okay.

Liquid IV if you're listening. Alston needs a lifetime supply of liquid IV. Oh my gosh. It's in my water right now. Oh my gosh. Now I'm craving one. So, I mean, where does your current relationship stand with the industry and how has it affected you? That is such a loaded question.

Is that a big question? And I know you know all. of the dimensions from health and well-being to identity to just the sort of workaholic tendencies that we grew into in our youth. Currently, I actually stepped away almost entirely from the industry. I just sent my kind agents an email last year and said, I'm going to focus even more of my energy on being a founder for my company. and I don't need representation at the moment because I'm not going to audition and I can field whatever

incoming opportunities I have. And there's been something really liberating about that because it would be a lie to claim that I never wanted to do, you know, I never wanted to be in the industry. Right. I, of course, really enjoyed so many of the beautiful opportunities. working with you and your family and being on these wonderful sets and having these one-of-a-kind experiences as a child. And yet there was no way for us to understand the long-term implications of those decisions and experiences. And so I think there were really important parts of me

that never got a chance to develop socially, just professionally outside of the industry. And so now I feel like I've spent the last several years reclaiming those parts. And what's interesting is the more I feel empowered to use my own voice and to solve my own problems, the less I feel interested in playing the game of the industry. And especially with social media and digital media, like by now, I've written, produced, directed, and edited my own content for over a decade. And I've completely cut out the middleman of meeting Fox or NBC or ABC to give me a chance to share stories. And I have complete creative control over the messaging. And I can immediately interact with real people and have meaningful conversations.

that bring change to real social issues. It's just like it's becoming harder and harder for me to believe that the industry is the best vehicle through which, you know, I can contribute to the world. Now, with that said, maybe in a couple of years I'll circle back, but, you know, I'm on a couple animated shows right now, and those are wonderful. It's like great groups of people. I've been working with them since I was 11 years old. Yeah.

But other than that, it's like, I don't know. Life is so much more interesting outside of the business to me. But what do you think? Where are you at? Are you working, producing? Are you kind of taking a break? I mean, I love that answer. And, I mean, for a lot of that, I'm sure you were thinking, is that me talking or her talking?

Because I literally, yeah, I feel the exact same way. I went through the same, like, period that you're, it sounds like you're going through. And a couple years ago, a few years ago, I pretty much did the same thing with my management and agents. I was like, hey, like, I don't want to waste your time. I'm just not in a place right now. where I don't know. I just, the truth is I don't know if I want to work right now, and I don't want to waste your time.

So I feel bad when you send all these opportunities, and I keep shooting them down because I think I'm learning that I'm not ready right now. So I did. I took, I took, you know, a few years away for the most part, and I think it was what I needed. I learned so much about myself and exactly like you said, there were parts of me, you know, growing up that I never got to explore and normal stuff that, you know, 99% of people get to, you know, learn about themselves and experience in life. But we never did. And sometimes it takes, you know, a reset. And for you to go, hey, you know, what's more important working on another show, doing another film, or, you know, focusing on what's

important in life. And I had to do that. And yeah, it was really empowering. And I feel like I'm just coming out of that where I'm not even, I'm still not sure. I don't know, I don't know what I want to be doing. I don't know how involved. I want to be with things. I'm figuring it out. I'm figuring it But I've definitely over the last few years learned a lot about myself and, you know, feel like I've filled those voids in my life that I didn't get to fill earlier on. So, yeah, we're both on this journey together. Yeah. I mean, and even watching you two through your relational journey and getting married, it's

almost as if when we were hyper-focused on the industry, there wouldn't have even been space to pour into a relationship in this way and to build a foundation with someone. And it would have been so centered on just whatever the industry was dictating in terms of schedule and, you know, priority. And so, you know, I hope that in that time, you two have also had a chance to lean into each other as humans and not have the industry be as much of a third presence, which I feel like it can be. I know that, you know, all of us are on social media and that has its own kind of third presence in everyone's relationship these days.

But it's just interesting how Hollywood, looking back, you know, when I'm either speaking with my therapist or I'm conversing with friends, I recognize that so many of the patterns I have around attachment, feel like they weren't just involved. formed by my family, but also like the industry having a presence in how I understood connecting with people. For me, I noticed a lot of times, like, we were always going from project to project. And you were expected to bond quickly and deeply and intimately with people because you're playing, you know, family or lovers.

And then a week later, boom, you never see them again. and you have this recurring experience of like deep bond, deep break, deep bond, deep break. And I notice now I still have this tendency to, you know, feel skeptical that something's going to last. Or I feel nervous to totally be authentic because I grew up, you know, bonding quickly and saying, here's my heart, here's my mind. Wow, you say you love me. this is amazing and then never seeing you again just after this project. So, you know, it's like so, so many things that I'm working through that in a, you know, typical psychology analysis,

we might be like, oh, you have to look at the family of origin. You have to look at the household. Look at the early relationships. And I'm like, when I tell you, Hollywood has its own presence as if it's a person in this kid's life. It's like a pseudo authority figure. It's a pseudo-teacher. It's a pseudo-lover. It's a whole dynamic that's like super preoccupying. Yeah.

So fully support us both being like, hey, taking a break. Peace. So something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey. Taylor's Mental Health Journey, journeys as individuals, and as a couple, has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is Cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support 100% online.

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Everything you just said, I was like, that's a thousand percent Taylor. And I had never thought about that whole, because I don't come from the industry. I'm just a, just your normal, your average show girl, lady. but I had never thought about it. Yeah, exactly. I celebrate. But it's so interesting, like, to the point of the bonding and then leaving, because obviously, like, we've talked about, Taylor will make comments to me.

Well, I told him once we got married, he's not allowed to do it anymore. He still sometimes does. But he's like, are you going to break up with me? Like, do you still love me? You saying that, I'm like, oh, for sure that. I've never thought about, I've literally never thought. I'm having so many epiphanies and we're barely 10 minutes into this episode. I'm like, wait, wait.

I know. Yeah, as you were talking right there, I'm like, oh, wow, that's probably where that comes from. Yeah. Like literally, that's what I was thinking. I was like, because I do. I have, I don't know, and I've never been able to figure out why, but I think you just did. I have this like fear of people leaving. This podcast is literally free therapy for us. Yeah, right. Thank you, Allison. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I have this like, this fear, this insecurity, like this massive. insecurity that something's going to be there and then it's going to be gone. Like, right? I'm terrified of that.

Yeah. And like he knows I'm not, he knows we're not going to break up. Like, he knows that we're fine and he doesn't say it when like we're in a, like, we'll be lying on the couch cuddling, watching a TV or whatever. He's like, do you so love me? I'm like, yeah. Like when I'm cherishing, you know, a wonderful moment is when I usually say it. But clearly there's something deeper in there.

And I feel like what you just said makes sense. much sense. That's crazy. And I have to say, it's interesting because we all have our own disposition. So, you know, I admire you for still choosing to be in relationship with someone, choosing to trust, choosing to navigate whatever insecurities come up and build that reassurance. Whereas for me, I noticed that, you know, I'm hyper independent. And I have more of an avoidant strategy where, like, I need to know absolutely every detail before I even dip my toe in. And it's difficult because it can be isolating, but it takes so long for me to build trust with someone. And I think it gets easier.

You know, if you build trust with yourself and you're able to kind of become a reliable place for your mind and your body to say, hey, when we tell you we're tired, you're actually going to listen when we tell you we're hungry, you're actually going to eat because I think not just in the industry, but in general with our society, we're so disconnected from the real cues of our basic emotional and mental and physical needs that it's easy to just kind of intellectualize whatever your diet program or your fitness program. I know you know this Taylor. Like so many times we were doing things from the outside in that had nothing to do with well-being from the inside out. And so, you know, as I build trust with myself and I'm able to say, hey, body, hey, mind, when you tell me that you have this struggle, I want to create space to acknowledge it and to say, you know, what do you need? How can I respond in a way where you know I'm on your side? Like, we're in this together. I'm not an enemy to you. I'm going to actually respect you now.

I think that has made it easier to start trusting other people too because I'm first going through the process with myself to say, hey, as a kid, you had no consistency, no structure, like no predictability. So now, like, establishing simple rituals for myself is like, it's been so powerful. And it's so small to other people, right? When people are like, you know, why is it such a big deal that you learned how to brush your hair and brush your teeth on a daily basis? And I'm like, You don't understand. Like, everything I did was usually just behaviors that had to do with my work. And so if I wasn't on set, I wasn't thinking about these things.

Like, I combed my hair because I was going to be on camera, not because I was just going to comb my hair. Now I get to comb my hair because I just don't want knots in my hair. And that's amazing, you know? And people who aren't in the industry are like, um, what? But, you know, you said, like, you got a chance. to connect with some of the normal experiences. And I wish, I wish, I wish we could like give people a chance to experience the abnormal industry side of things as kids and then show people just how beautiful everyday mundane life is when the most boring of things are the most profoundly beautiful

gifts in this life. And yeah, I mean, now I'm meandering. But yes, all that to say, rebuilding trust with self helps me lean on others. And I respect you for still being like, hey, I'm going to lean in and actually like let myself connect and be loved and be heard. Because I'm like still, still on that journey. Yeah. Oh, I mean, it's definitely a journey. And it's cool because I feel like you're in the place. Not that you don't know your identity, but you're definitely, you're just still trying to figure out like what you're doing, where you're at. Me as a person outside of the roles I've played, outside of, you know, the world that I grew up in and, you know, was told, you know, that like, this is how I'm going to make a living. Like, yeah, it's like, it's two totally different people. Yeah. And we joke about it a lot, but, like, because I did grow up living a normal life. Like, Taylor barely went to high school because he had to leave and start filming. Like, there's so many things where he's like, you did that. I'm like,

yeah, you do that in high school. And then I'm like, oh, Taylor didn't go to high school. So that's like, that makes sense or like playing sports or going out after football games or like whatever you did like as a kid and in high school. Like we'll have these moments. And I'm like, yeah, that's what we did like in high school after the game or after whatever. He's like, oh. And it's just so many moments like that that still like we're five years into this relationship. And I'm still like, there's things that I do.

And Taylor's like, why do you do that? I'm like, what do you mean? Why do I do that? That's the normal response. And he's like, well, I didn't do that. I'm like, well, you didn't have a normal upbringing. So, but it's just, it's just so wild, like the differences that we're still learning about each other that we're five years into this. And I'm still like.

Yeah. I know I'm always, I'm constantly learning from Tay. And, yeah, I'm just very thankful to have somebody like her. my life because, yeah, I feel like she set me back on track or put me on the right track. Like maybe I was looking for my track and I didn't really know where it was. And she gave me the stepping stones. And yeah, you're right. Like, I tried relationships before.

Like, I've been in relationships and long-term relationships. but when the industry was in between, the industry was in between those relationships. For sure. And I think it took me realizing, well, hmm, something's not working out here. These relationships, you know, aren't successful. They're not healthy.

You know, I want to be in a better relationship. What do I need to do? And I was like, I need to be. put work aside for right now because this is more important. And as soon as I did that, our relationship flourished. So, wow. Thank you, Tay, for your patience for people like us. Exactly. Oh my gosh. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's so interesting because there's like obviously majority of the people listening, watching however you're viewing this. Like we all don't come from that background and like, we've talked about like how much fun like the cheaper buy the dozen two set was and like Taylor would be like you had all like there was like a trampoline or like a jumpy thing or something and like it's so much fun when you're like a like a kid and you're like on set doing all this stuff but then like what you said Allison you don't like obviously you're not like being tortured as a child you're having fun with it yeah but the effects of like not properly socializing trying to find your identity like all that stuff like is maybe fun in a moment.

in the moment when you're an eight-year-old because they're making you have fun so you're not sitting there bored. Yeah, but you can't see where that's going to go and what that's going to do to you as an adult, you know, 10 years from now. Yeah. Speaking of which, we do have our producer of the show, she's apparently, I just learned this morning, a massive cheaper by the dozen fan. And she was like, if you run out of content, which we definitely are not. But if you run out of content, can you ask her? like how filming those movies was. And I know you guys were, you filmed on the lakes in Ontario.

She lives in Ontario. She was like, you guys filmed over here. I want to know how the summer was. How was the lakes? Like, she seems very proud of the lakes in Ontario. So I would say that I have great memories there and the lake was just beautiful. Yeah, agreed. Wasn't it called Stony Lake?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because. Stoner on Stony. Yeah, we had some gathering at like a local restaurant on Stony Lake. And I don't know if it was Bonnie or someone else, but they changed the Y to an R because my last name is Stoner for those who are not putting that together. But the rest of the restaurant had no reference point. And they were like, you know, this is a late joke to make for this group of young people.

That's so funny. Yeah, and I remember, I don't, was it, you only did the second one, right? Yeah, not the first. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, I just remember our ping pong tournaments. It's like a distinct memory. I felt like almost every night it was you, me, Kev.

Sometimes Alex was his name, potentially, or am I making that up? Do you remember that? Or am I making up all of this? No, I know, yeah. I remember. um ping pong for sure i mean it really just it felt like it was like a kid's summer camp dream like i mean i only did the the second one but yeah it was uh quite the quite the fun yeah even though we age it seems like younger generations still though the material same with like disney projects camp

rock i was just teaching at a dance convention this past weekend and there were so many little kids who came up and said, I love Camp Rock. And I was like, first of all, how do you even recognize me? Because that was 47 years ago. Yeah, I know. I think the same thing. Yeah. It's just Twilight still play kind of everywhere like that. Yeah. Yeah. Very much. So cool. You got like the marathons. Yeah, the E, the E marathon. Yeah. Obviously, like there is bad about the industry, but there also is, I think, like, some beauty in regards to, like, people like you guys getting to do your art and, like, to do things that you love? Is there, is there something about, like, do you still love doing voice acting? Because I know that you mentioned that was kind of like what you were doing. Is there a project that you did that you were like this? I really like this. I'm very optimistic. I'm like annoyingly optimistic. There is, I feel like, a lot of cons to the industry, but I do feel like it has brought like Taylor's. obviously thankful for aspects of it. Is there a part of it that you're thankful for, maybe a lesson you learned, or project that you loved? It could be any of those.

Yeah. Thank you for asking that because I don't want to just harp on my earlier experiences. I think something that's crystallizing for me these days is specifically my relationship to dance and movement. And now that I've joined this dance convention as a fact, I'm bringing my company's mind-body tools to support these young movers and support their mental and emotional health. Now that I'm back in the environment and I'm seeing young people connecting with music and accessing this creative outlet and this way of expressing their experience and I'm hearing the music fill this large room and, you know, the lights are dimmed and we're able to tap into the innermost parts of who we are and draw them forward through art, it's helping me

reconnect with the pure love for dance that I really lost probably soon after it became, you know, a commercial product for me. And so I'm really appreciating that even as a young person, though I was on set and had to be precise with my movement and there was, there was a performance aspect. It still was such a powerful tool for me to learn about myself as a person and to also take care of my physical, mental, and emotional health with this one activity. And, you know, as I've gotten older and stepping into full-time founder mode, I'm, you know, at my computer way more often and I'm, you know, not moving as much. And that stagnance takes a toll on my mind and emotions. And so I'm rediscovering my love and appreciation for dance. And I have to

find the beauty in the fact that dance really was threaded throughout a lot of my career. And, you know, yes, there were tough parts of it, like the 10-hour rehearsals where you didn't get a snack break or any water. Yeah. That's tough. And it also was still a special gift to have as a young person. So, you know, that's something that sticks with me. And of course, there are so many one-of-a-kind experiences. I was just reflecting the other day. You know, I was fortunate enough to judge some film festival in Osaka, Japan, as a teenager. Like, was I qualified to do that? Probably not. But, I did my best and I would have not have that opportunity otherwise.

And then, you know, I got to tour and perform some of my original music, not just, you know, the characters I had played on films. And I remember South America, they were the first batch of crowds where the people knew my lyrics and they chanted my name. And you're in these large, you know, arenas or stadiums. I forget what we were playing. Yeah. But that's like wild. Like that's such a special experience. So I do hold on to that.

I think now it's just been about, you know, you talk about Taylor being like, okay, I just want to be frustrated and Tay about seeing the silver lining. And I think where I am right now is holding the both and and just really being like, okay, on the best days. there's still a complex crisis somewhere and on the worst days there's still something magical about being alive and I'm just trying to kind of hold it all with some semblance of grace and dignity and acceptance but it's it's a it's a lot to yeah acknowledge the full spectrum of the human experience on a daily basis like it's there are so many things I'm sure going on

in all of our lives personally, that we're just like, how do you manage all of this at once all the time? And then for folks, like my sister, your sister, who is now taking care of another life on top of it, I'm just like, yo, how do you all do this? Like, I'm just trying to manage the simple things myself still one day at a time over here. I love that. That was beautiful. Selfishly, I want to talk about dance. But yeah, I knew that I was. like now who can relate to this. It's ching in my seat. So I grew up dancing my entire life since I was baby. Did it competitively dance at the studio. Did high school dance team, went to college for dance before I left and did nursing. So dance has been a huge part of my life. And it's been such an

outlet for me. And I honestly haven't dance since leaving college because I went in it. I did, I did dance for a semester. And that was the first time it was ever work, so to say. Like I was being graded on everything and not that I wasn't being, I mean, I grew up being judged and critique by our lovely dance teachers that have a very, I take criticism very well because of dance and I swear that's what got me through nursing school and being a nurse. But I haven't really danced since leaving college because if you're not professionally dancing, it's hard to like find to go. Like I'm not going to go drop in the West Hollywood studio and like me like break my hip.

in the back corner while people, you know. But you've said before, you're like, I just, like, if you're going through something, you're like, I wish I could just go into a room right now and just dance. Yeah, the movement, like, does not stop in my head. I'm constantly, like, I'll walk and I'll move. I'm constantly dancing in my head. One of my good friends, she, I grew up dancing with her and she still dances. I was like, she's like, do you still like do stuff in your head? I'm like, I don't know when this is going to stop. I don't know if it's ever going to stop. I'm not mad about it, But recently we went and got our brain scanned and it was like, have you, have you heard of Dr.

Amen? Yeah. Okay. So we got our brain scan and talking with him, like my brain showed he was like, you need to start either like dancing again or do something that requires like coordination. He was like, go do tennis or go do something that like uses this part of your brain because you can see like, not that it's underdeveloped, but it's like, it looks sad. The choreography for your brain, right? Yeah. And I've been struggling over, like, the past couple years trying, because dance has always been

such an outlet for me and because I don't really, like, move my body anymore, even though I easily could just, like, put headphones in and move. But it's, like, it's hard to, like, find that. And I'm still just trying to, like, figure out, I think that's why it's harder for me to process emotions. Like, I'm the person who, like, has to sleep on it and think about it. And I think that's honestly, like, because of dance and just, like, dance was, like, I process everything through dance. And since then, I'm going through, like, all my stuff with the hospital and life, it's been interesting for me to try to figure out, like, how I cope with things or how I work through stuff because all in the past, it was with dance.

And I'm still trying to figure how to. What that new outlet is or how to get back to that. How to, like, incorporate that. but I would love to like just kind of hear like what kind of an outlet dance has been for you because dance like all my friends that have dance. It's such an outlet and it's such like a freeing thing. I have friends that don't even dance. I're like, I just need to move. I'll just flail my arms and I'm like that's like dance is such a beautiful thing. And it's like what it like the fact that my brain scan was literally like you need to dance. I'm like, okay, this is just wild. So I just want to hear like what like dance has done for you because I know you've been doing. it for so long and it's been such a huge part of your life and just kind of what it's done. Yeah. But I relate to you in terms of the relationship to it, kind of having its own arc where I stopped moving and I also needed to reorient my relationship to it. You know, there was stuff that it just doesn't fit the way it wants fit. I have to find a new way of letting myself

move. And so, I mean, I spent a lot of trial and error over the past several years. For a while, I didn't listen to any music at all. It was like no music, no movement. And it almost then gave me a blank slate so that the next time I did hear a song, it was like I'm hearing it for the first time instead of when I used to be in the studio and it was all day long. New song, new combo, new song, new combo. And so, you know, then I tried, like, going online and taking a couple three dance classes that were just on YouTube or doing, like, dance-based workouts, or, you know, trying to freestyle.

But even that would bring up this performer side of me that was, like, you know, still self-conscious as if anyone was around or cared. And so it's been an interesting arc. You know what I will say recently? I was trying to add some activities to my schedule that were not work-related. And I took this pottery class, which is something I grew up enjoying. Like, I used to paint pottery. That's cool.

But I kind of thought that like the childhood effervescent. excitement would kick in and I would just naturally automatically like this because it was a neat activity and I used to like it. And it was only four weeks. So, you know, one class per week. And it was so interesting because I had a moment where I was like, I appreciate that I'm doing this and it's fun. But I don't know if it's for me. And I felt kind of sad because I was like, Dang, when I was a kid, it just seemed like whatever you put me in, I would just like it. You know, cool. Let's do this.

Yeah, let's do that. And now I'm like, hmm, I know myself a little bit better, which is great. But now, like, some things really don't feel like they used to. So trial and error here. Like, got to find the vibe. Or we just have to wait for, like, some huge life event to happen where the only thing we can think to do is move our bodies through it. and then you're going to have this breakthrough moment of like, wow, dance, and then everything will be okay. Yeah.

Okay, speaking of dance and you touched on it, can you tell us a little bit more in the listeners about movement genius? Yeah. So movement genius is a subscription platform and it's your all in one safe place to take care of your mind, your body, and your emotions. So we have a library of over 200 mental health tools, stress relief techniques, and movement programs that are designed by psychotherapists and experts, and they help improve well-being wherever you are any time of day. And we also host our weekly live community classes. So you get to learn directly from the expert and just be around real humans. who are, you know, a safe community where you can share support and just come as you are. Something I really love about our community is that it's intentionally inclusive.

So we've got, you know, lots of folks who identify as queer, lots of folks who are living with chronic pain or have limited mobility. And I've found that our classes can really meet them where they are. because a lot of wellness platforms, they sort of have a performance quality to them, and it's sort of like no pain, no gain mentality. And this is all about tailoring everything to your mind and body. So, you know, we have several folks who are wheelchair users and they know when they come to class will have variations for seated and standing and lying down. And you can choose what feels best for. your body in that moment. And yeah, I think it's just, it's been so special to be able to provide these very practical, simple tools. We just heard some beautiful feedback the other day. When I was teaching at this dance convention, I used a certain technique as I was helping the students explore their awareness and come into, you know, a sense of safety in their own body. and a person shared that, you know, they live with Tourette's, and so they're used to different ticks, both verbal and physical.

And that class was the first time in their lives that they've ever made it through a whole class and not had a single tick. Wow. Wow. They felt like they could focus and remain comfortable in their minded body. And, you know, of course, I see that as like, that's them. like they did it. Sure, we're providing some tools, but that's something that they can hold on to and recreate for themselves. And then, you know, we have some members who used to deal with stress seizures. And after using these techniques, they haven't had a seizure in months. And it used to be

daily. And, you know, you hear people who deal with panic attacks who are like, okay, I used this and it actually brought me back down and, you know, that kind of self-empowerment is, I feel like we all need that just to get through modern lifestyle, the busyness, the stress levels, all the information that we're bombarded with. So yeah, the whole premise of our community and our library of content is for you to have the tools and skills. we all need to manage day-to-day experiences and feel safe and comfortable and confident in who you are authentically, not just some narrow picture of wellness, but really like genuine well-being, however that looks for you.

So I'll make sure I give you a little link so people can sign up if you put in the show notes or something. Yeah. Yeah, because it's super affordable. That's also the point is like we know talk therapy is expensive. We know, you know, getting on medication is complicated. And yes, we support, you know, those as important steps. And in the meantime, these tools hopefully can strongly, you know, support your journey as well. Yeah.

Wow. That's awesome. I love that. And I feel like it aligns with something that is so much of what I believe in what we believe in is like, mental wellness, like self-care things. Like, it's for everyone no matter what you look like, what you believe in, what you identify, whatever it is. Like, everyone needs it. And I love that, like, how broad. Like, I was obviously like looking it up and looking at all your content and everything. And I was just like, wow, like, there's this. There's this. There's this. Like,

it was just like, you just have so much stuff on there. And it's just, I applaud you for that and for, like, doing something that you're passionate about and helping others. And I just, it's, it's so cool what, what you're doing. Sounds really special. Yeah. Thanks. I love it. Yeah.

I mean, we, we have such a wide range of teachers and expertise. And I look forward, you know, the vision is to be able to help tens of millions of people. And until we reach that, we're, you know, going to do our absolute. absolute best every single day to, you know, provide the best tools and deliver them in the most engaging, relevant way that matches, you know, the quality of content we're now used to. And it's exciting. It feels like I'm doing my life's work. And, you know, I'm sure that in 10 more years, I may discover something completely different. But I used to think that the term life's work was like, you know, something kind of coming to you almost unexpectedly and

showing up and saying, aha, you have been assigned this mission. Yeah. And now I'm realizing, at least in this experience, my life's work at the moment is turning around, looking at my past and saying, what are all the skills you've gathered so far? Like, what do you know about? and what can you learn about? And then turning forward and saying, okay, what problems are going on in the world? And where can I use the skills I have to do something about, you know, these problems? And it's been really intentional. Like it's not something that just magically appeared.

It's very much like kind of a methodical journey of like who am I so far? What can I do with my position in society and, you know, and also my age? And I'm going to try my best to do this for the next several years. But I'm also like, who knows, I might have to go back to school after this. And so, like, before I started the company, that was the two pathways. It was like, am I going to school for psychology or am I going to try to bring in the best psychologists so we can reach people through the audience we already have. It felt like this can solve problems faster. Yeah. This still feels important, but like maybe, you know, I'll do this

one after. Yeah. You can always go back to that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you in the whole like, who am I and what now? Ah. Oh my gosh. You ready to move into Lemon 11? Yeah. This is our Lemon 11 segment. These are 11. Just, you know, questions about mental health and, yeah. So we'll give us a shot. Questions that we like. Yeah, okay. I usually do evens, but maybe I'll do odds this time.

Hit it, yeah. Okay, sure. Change it up. Number one, what movie or song title best describes your mental health today? Oh, wow. I think anything from the artist Banks. She's a little shadowy. And I think it's less of the lyrics and more of the production.

So I'm thinking like the low synth lines and the muted, percussive sounds and a little bit of that mystery. Because I'm like sorting through some things. I feel a little bit like I'm in a dark night of the soul. So, yeah, I think it's Banks. Banks is my soundtrack. You painted that so well. I was like, I was there.

I was listening to, I was, I was there. I love that. We love Banks. Okay, number two. How open are you with people in your life when struggling? Oh, wow. You know, I have a small group of four. or five people and I am learning over the past several years to at least give them a little,

give them a short message, letting them know something is a little off and creating a thread of connection because it's so easy for me to isolate and to just think that I should be self-reliant all the time. So I think as I'm getting older and life is feeling a little bit tougher in some ways, I'm starting to really see the deep need for close friends and not just like, you know, lovers and partners romantically, but like friends, friendship community. So yeah, I'm getting a little bit better about that because I need it. I actually need it. Yeah.

Yeah. Badly. Definitely can relate. Yeah. That's something that we have learned to. Not prioritized, but we've definitely, like, really found a great community of friends that were able to, like, have deep conversations with. And I feel like we've gotten to a point, especially me, like, yesterday. I was having, like, the worst anxiety, but I didn't know why. It's normally how it happens. Didn't know why. But I was like, I'm fine. I'm getting through my day. I just, like, feel really heavy. And I think I was, like, walking into an appointment. And I was like sending Taylor a voice out. I was like, just so you know, my anxiety is pretty high today. But I'm fine. Like, I know I'll get through it. But just. so you know. Just want to let you know. Just end of the voice know. I loved it. Right. But since I've

been doing that, like, it gets easier too to like just be like, hey, like I don't, we don't need to fully dive into it, but just so you know, I may need to dive into it or I may need to We don't need to fully dive into it, but I also don't need to fully bury it. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what

we've found helps both of us. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Number three, what is your favorite part of your morning or night? routine. Oh, that question assumes I have a routine. I do not. About seven days ago, I told myself I should moisturize and I have yet to follow through on that. So tonight, my favorite part of my routine is going to be the lotion on my face. Oh my gosh. I love that. It's so true though. Like, I like, I, it's so hard to like stick

for me and you, I guess. Like I have a routine and I definitely feel better when like I'll like take some quiet time in the morning to read or to just journal or whatever. But it's so hard to like actually make that a consistent. Yeah. Like people that do that, I'm like, I applaud you. People that wake up and they drink their lemon water and they go and do the the journaling and all the things. And I'm like, how do you? I got to wake up at like 4 a.m. to fit this in.

I don't understand how we're doing this. but right so funny so instead i watch instagram posts of people's morning routine literally all the tic-ttocks and instagrams are like oh wow look at them making their coffee oh that's really nice oh they got the heart the heart shaped ice cubes oh my gosh that's actually me number four how is your career impacted your well-being we can just reverse on that one just do a little

there was no way for us to understand the long-term implications of those decisions and experiences. And so I think there were really important parts of me that never got a chance to develop. Number five, what is the most misunderstood thing about you? When people see me expressing joy and happiness, I think it might be easy to assume that that's just an easy default setting. And for me, joy and happiness have been hard earned. It's been something kind of difficult for me to access because I used to be afraid of expressing joy because I thought it might look too youthful or foolish. And I didn't want to seem too young on set. I wanted to be responsible adult and treated like an adult.

And so, you know, maybe there's a misunderstanding of like, oh, of course you're happy. Everything seems like it's going well for you. And I feel like for me, joy and happiness are really a choice and a practice. And yeah, I guess I'm way more serious than people probably assume, which I feel nervous. saying out loud. So I'm like, no, don't think that I'm moody all the time. But I, you know, I'd be lying if I, if I claim differently. So yeah, I think I can be like pretty, yeah, internal and like, not brooding, but like just always thinking about trying to solve complicated problems in the world. Yeah. Wow. I love that. I don't, I shouldn't have said any of that out loud. No one wants to be my

friend anymore. Oh my gosh. No. Dude, just chill. No. I mean, I love the like joy, like, and happiness, like sometimes takes work. It doesn't just magically happen sometimes.

So we should celebrate those moments. Yep. Yes. And I really deeply appreciate them because I feel like I've been pretty close to, you know, hurt and pain in other ways. As many of us, all of us have been.

And so, yeah, I think I have a deep appreciation for those moments connecting to beauty and being able to find it amidst the complexity of life. Number six. What is the greatest advice you have ever received? Seek first to understand before expecting to be understood. Nice. Wow. I read that in I think it was like, you know, the habits of highly successful people or something. And it changed the way I communicated from there on.

And I think it's one of the reasons why I've had a decent experience in learning how to, you know, listen and sympathize or empathize because that stuck with me. Like, oh, before I expect you to hear what I'm saying, how can I understand where you're coming from? How can I know the story underneath your story? And I really, you know, advocate for being as active as a listener as you can be, ask clarifying questions before, you know, giving your input. Yeah. I try to be, you know, cautious about just dishing out advice before spending time with the person and knowing, like, what is the context of what you're sharing with me? And what do you actually want or need from me right now? So, you know, in another world when I'm not answering questions for a podcast, I prefer to be a listener.

Yeah. You're an incredible listener. Like, that is just you, you know, I know you from many moons ago, but like even from talking to you in the last hour, you can tell that you prioritize listening. And, yeah, like, I already gathered that before this question. Yeah. So you're doing a good job, I'm asking. What does wellness mean to you? I have to admit that the word wellness still sometimes has,

I still have sort of a distaste for it because it's been hijacked by like corporate brands that show you some image of a person drinking a green smoothie and living a specific lifestyle and having a specific body. And so in some ways I have an inversion to the word wellness until I redefine it as, you know, this all-encompassing way of being in the world, organizing your life in a way that allows you to flourish to the best that you can in your circumstance and with the access that you have to, you know, the tools that we need to take care of ourselves. Something that's been really present with me recently is community wellness. And I feel that a lot because of our company. When I take care of myself, it's one thing. But if I go outside and

the rest of my community is suffering, that doesn't feel like true well-being. And so for me, you know, I feel only as well as my community is. And, and I know that deeply everything is, we're all so interconnected and interdependent anyway that when I help ensure that you have the tools you need, we both can then better support each other when we need the village. So, yeah, I'm thinking a lot about community and well-being and like looking out for, people who do and don't have access to the tools they deserve. Yeah. That was beautiful. I was beautiful. I loved that. I know. My mind went straight to your company as soon as you started talking about it. I was like, oh, well, you're doing that. Yeah. So, bravo. Okay, number eight, what is your relationship with social media and do you think it affects your well-being?

That's my relationship with it. I am kind of ready for it to not. exist. I do, I will say that I have really chosen some wonderful accounts to follow that are, have been life-changing. They've provided perspective and insight. They've taught me about legislation and, you know, social issues. I hope, obviously, that they're like, legitimate sources. But I think, you know, I've, I've tried to make it as helpful as it can be um but i don't know i just i think i'm maybe just a little burned out from it at the moment and and it does affect my well-being um i grew since i grew up on camera it's not the whole comparison thing i know that is for a lot of people they're like oh my gosh everyone's doing all these cool

things and you know sort of the fear of missing out and jealousy or insecurity and that's that's not the case for me because we grew up in a competitive environment. We were always compared to each other and pitted against each other. And now, you know, I think, I think the way it affects my well-being is just, it takes me out of my body and it becomes this distraction tool where I look back at my day or week or month or a year. And I think, wow, if I just spent an hour today, and I've done this every day, that's multiple days of my life purely just scrolling and not engaging with the world. And so, you know, I feel a loss from that. And I don't like feeling so distracted. So, you know, I think if I can kind of curb the habit to be more, you know, ways to go and see

what a couple friends are up to and then learn a couple fun posts and then go back to your day, great. But it's just, it's designed to be so addictive that, you know, I know I'm not the only one. Like, we're all like, why do we open up Instagram when we're on the toilet? Why do we open up Instagram when we're getting in the car? How am I opening up Instagram? And I didn't even know I was on Instagram until 15 minutes later. Yeah. So, you know, I'm like, ah, I want a break from that, I think.

Yeah, absolutely. Feel that. Number nine. This can be whatever it is, but what is your favorite form of self-care? This is a specific activity that my therapist actually suggested. So I deal with a lot of anxiety, and she's helping me recognize that sometimes when you're anxious, it's about learning how to just like regulate. You got to like actually come back down from that moment.

Other times it's like a signal of, hmm, I wonder what's underneath. might need to explore this. And so whenever I feel that second urge, I grab a journal and I will use my dominant hand to open the conversation with anxiety and just say like, hey, checking in, how are you feeling? What's up? And then I switch hands and I let my non-dominate hand write from the perspective of the anxiety. And some of the beautiful things that happened during that, one, it slows you down, kind of slows down your thoughts to really connect with how you're feeling. But it also has this bilateral stimulation. So you're using both brain hemispheres and it helps integrate the information from logic and emotion. And so that's been like a really profound activity for me to get in touch with like

where the anxiety is coming from, what needs are under that or fears. And it's like a still like tactile thing. So, you know, it's not just all in your head. It kind of like allows you to put it on paper and see it visually. Because also like typically, unless you're ambidextrous, your non-dominate hand kind of looks like chicken scratch a little bit. Yeah. So there's this tenderness that comes with seeing like, oh, this is a vulnerable, maybe younger part of you that you're interacting with. So yeah, it's, that's been a helpful self-care practice for me lately. That's so cool. I've never heard that before. I've never heard that either, but I want to try it now.

Aw. I said all because I thought of you. I literally thought of you like journaling and it was the cutest thing to me. My response was all. Okay, move on. Okay, question did. Who has had the most positive impact on your mental health? My first therapist, hands down.

She changed my life. She was the first person who taught me these somatic body-centering tools. And without her, I don't know when I would have learned to safely re-inhabit my body. So she in so many ways was also a parental figure for me and gave me a roadmap. And I remember being in her office and she had like, forgive me if you ever see this, but she had this couch that was just such an outdated pattern and the walls were, you know, it wasn't like a fresh or modern office. It was kind of old looking. And something about that was so comforting because she had no interest in aesthetics, no clue about what was happening in entertainment. no, you know, interest in technology.

And it just became like truly a safe area to like talk about all the things that matter and not the distractions. And so, yeah, I just, I think she really honestly saved my life, changed my life and helped me chart a course for myself where I knew like no matter how tough it gets, there will be some way through this. I still to this day reach out to her every once in a while. I feel like she gave me my foundation for navigating the world. Wow.

Yeah. Really cool. I love that. That's so sweet. Okay. Last but not least, number 11. If you could go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself?

Oh my gosh. These are tough. I don't want to end on like a sort of sad note, but maybe there's some empowerment in it. I think I would go back to the moment in Ohio when my family was debating whether or not to move to L.A. to get into the industry. I was six or seven. And I think I would turn to my younger self and say, you know, hold my beer, even though I don't drink. So hold my lemonade, my freshly squeezed lemonade.

And I would talk to the adults in the room and just say, hey, what are you really thinking when you're making this decision? And I would advocate for a different course. I think I would say, hey, I hear that you want to support her talent or charisma or, you know, budding. skills and the performing arts and like what part of this has to be in the industry. Look at all of the wonderful local theater groups there are. Look at all of the other ways to celebrate these skills. So yeah, I think I would go back to that moment and I would redirect my parents. And yeah, obviously can't do that. But yeah, I don't know how you would answer this question, but lately people have been saying, if you could go back and change it all, would you?

And I feel like the typical answer is like, no, because everything that happened, turn me into the person I am today. And I'm like, no, I don't wish that on anyone. I would go back and I would say, nope, nope, to all of you and nope to this. So yeah, that's what I would say. I would tell my hunger self, hold my lemonade, and then I would go advocate for her because, you know, she didn't, she didn't really know how to do that yet. I want to flip it on you and ask, like, if you could go back, for both of you, if you could go back

to your childhood at a critical moment where you felt like something happened that really changed the course of your life, would you change it? Or would you keep it the same way? I don't think

and I mean, I really respect your honesty. with the question and like that's like a really vulnerable answer. I'm trying to be super honest and vulnerable with myself right now. I don't think I would go back and redirect it and not have gone there altogether, but I think I would have gone back. I would go back to a moment in time where it was like a life altering, you know, stage

that I was coming up on and like remind that person like what's important in life. Like even, you know, like, hey, you're about ready to experience some really, really cool, you know, exciting, rare, awesome things. But remember, like, that's not what it's about. And don't get caught up in it and don't place value in things that don't actually matter. because that's not going to lead to true happiness, you know, in the end. So appreciate it and, you know, enjoy it. But that's not the end all be all.

So don't place, you know, your value in that. I think that's what I would do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, back to your answer is like you're, I think that's super empowering because you're, it's never too late to, yes, you can't go back in time and do what you just. said, but it's never too late to redirect it. And you're, I respect the crap out of, you know, what you're doing right now in your life because you're, you're doing that. You're walking that

walk and you are redirecting it. And yeah, just, you know, have the utmost of respect for you you and you have so much wisdom and it's just been such a joy to listen to everything you've had to say. Likewise. Yeah, I appreciate both of you being so honest. and letting me also just answer vulnerably instead of like, hey, this is, everything is good and everything is fine. And there is, like I said, you know, a lot of beauty that we did cover and there's so much goodness to appreciate. And like life is just so full. So, you know, we're just trying to learn how to be with it all. And I really genuinely, I'm grateful that, you know, we were able to just like jump right in and go here even after 10 plus years.

Yeah. And also, Tade, you know, speaking for the first time and being like, hi, these are, you know, the shadowy parts of my brain. But, yeah, I appreciate the space. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And I know that our listeners are going to gain so much. It has really been, like, such an honor. And we've both learned so much.

And I'm excited to check. out movement genius and to give a link to everyone watching listening to go check that out. And yeah, just thanks for sharing all the stuff. Truly, thank you. Likewise. I look forward to seeing you both, maybe even in person, before another 10 years go by. Thank you so much for squeezing us into your day. Please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube.

You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my. lovely wife at Taye Lautner. Check out the squeeze on Instagram at The Squeeze. And also give a, give a little glance and a follow to Lemons by Tay. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com. And also be sure to email us, lautner.com.com.com if you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see. We've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey with those around you and sent our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely. Tudels McGoodles, everyone. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.