The Squeeze - Bailee Madison: You Are Enough

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

Tay is back for another girl-talk episode, this time featuring actress Bailee Madison! They dive into Bailee’s journey—from booking her first role at a young age to balancing school while working and why she never felt like she missed out on the "normal" high school experience. She opens up about the challenges of playing so many different characters during her formative years, whether she ever struggled with her identity, and how she stays true to herself. Bailee also gets real about her mental health during the first season of PLL: Original Sin, what it was like portraying a character who endured intense trauma, and whether she found it hard to separate herself from that. Plus, she shares her go-to self-care tools, reflects on the ongoing challenge of reminding herself that she is enough, and gives a glimpse into what’s next for her!Be sure to follow Bailee https://instagram.com/baileemadison/To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram:The Squeeze:  https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/Tay Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylautner/Taylor Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/& TikTok:  https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow  https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code Squeeze Go to Cymbiotika.com/SQUEEZE for 20% off your order + free shipping today Let's do wellness on your terms, whatever that looks like and feels like for you. Find us at Walmart or Target near you or at OLLY.comVisit premierprotein.com and go to Where to Buy to find a retailer near you or find where to buy online Go to qualialife.com/SQUEEZE and use code SQUEEZE at checkout for up to 15% off your first purchase. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I was like, should I just put it on? Is that crazy? Okay, better. This feels right. Welcome to the squeeze, Bailey. Now I feel like I'm like a part of it. That's one of my like airplane movies. It's weird because I'm in it. Hello, Dr. Danny. I was you to die.

Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle? Why is she talking like that? Take me out of it. I'm like, it's a great movie. I always wonder this with child actors, identity struggle. Who is like Bailey, like aside from all of these characters that you're portraying. There's that, but then the real story. is there was no connection to myself when I was going home at night. And I think that really was messing with me as I was looking in the mirror and being like, where is Bailey?

I went through about three different therapists. It's tough for me. I just haven't, I don't think, found my person yet. Yeah. It's weird sitting and telling someone about your life. Even though I know that they can't say anything, I need to work through that to be like, I can trust you and you're not going to go put this out there or say something. You could ask me anything.

Except for the last one. I can't answer that one. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. I need merch, by the way. Well, that's great because I have one in a back thing downstairs. I was like, should I just put it on? Do you want to?

Yeah. Should we just put it? No, is that crazy? Wait, maybe we should put it on. Let me grab it. I think it's literally this. Yeah. Okay, okay, let me go.

Okay. Better, this feels right. Yeah. This feels right for us. Where were we? Where weren't we? Yeah. Literally, welcome to the squeeze, Bailey.

Thank you. I feel like that's a good at the truth. Now I feel like I'm like a part of it. Yeah. I was looking at your sweatshirt. I was like, why am I not wearing merch? Yeah. Yeah.

We got all the lemons here at the squeeze. I love it. I love it. Okay, so we start each episode off this jar. It's a game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to. That's great. Who came up with that?

I don't really know. I think I looked up like puns. Okay. So go ahead and pull a little question out of there. Oh, gosh. I'm really bad at, like, picking. Are you that kind of? Yeah. I'm like, I have like this weird little thing that is like...

I don't know why I thought it'd be taped together. Okay. Oh, what is the weirdest food combination that you love? Am I asking you this? You're going to answer it. And I also will answer if I have one. Yeah. Do you want to pick one too? Do we do two? I'm trying to think what a weird combo is. I know. I'm struggling. I do like popcorn dipped in hot sauce. I have never tried that. That doesn't sound weird to me, but I don't actually think I've heard it. I'm picking a new one.

Okay, go. That wasn't for us. What beverage describes your current mood? This is better. Oh, yeah. Go. Current mood. I'm feeling like cozy.

So maybe like a nice, like, hot, like, green tea, a lemon tea. Oh, a tea would be good. Yeah. Maybe I should be on, like, a camomile. That should be my mood. My mood is, like, your dehydrate. I drink water. It's an empty glass.

But I'm like a coffee in. So the correct mood for my mental health would be a nice tea. Yeah. Not caffeine. Yeah. No. It's okay. We need some.

We lose some. Yeah. This is better. It's good. It's good. Okay. So I'm so excited to finally just like get to like sit and chat because it's been a long time coming. And I'm just happy when we first met at the Coldplay concert whenever that was.

Yeah. That was such a great. What a place to meet. I know. Like, the vibes were high. I know. I know. I was obviously like, yes, Coldplay, like, amazing.

When we got invited and I was like, fun. But Bailey's going absolutely. Absolutely. I mean. I'll be there, babe. But I forgot, like, how many amazing songs Coldplay has. Like, every song, I was like, I don't know if I really know Coldplay songs. I'm like, wait, I actually really do.

Yeah. But we met and I remember where we're Taylor and I'm driving home. I was like, oh my gosh, she was like so sweet. Oh, that's really sweet. sweet. That's a really lovely thing to say. No, that like actually that like means a lot because I have that thing where like I'll meet someone new and have that experience. Because I went home and did the same thing like with my boyfriend. I was like they were so lovely. And I had met Taylor forever ago like when I was so young. So it's always funny to meet people then in your life too.

And but then I'm always like, oh, I hope they, I hope they also felt like it was a nice interaction. It was reciprocated. That's sweet. It was reciprocated. Yeah. Thank you for that. And yeah, that's after that I was like we should like have her on the podcast and now we're here yeah and then we need to like actually just yeah hang out and do life and do the things yeah and anyone who's watching just you guys know this has been like truly we have scheduled this we've scheduled this so way too much and I'm so sorry for that a couple times first time I got in my first car accident I was sobbing by the way I was like on the phone like I can't cancel on them they were like you can you're not okay to do an interview you should go home I was like okay So this is third times the charm. We finally have made it happen. Yeah. It's good. No better time. It was honestly, it was meant to be now.

Yeah. I really. I love it. Okay. I honestly just want to start talking with acting because when obviously like it's funny because I feel like I grew up with you because I've literally just been like watching you like as like I've grown up. So I feel like I've grown up with you. And before this I like went and looked at your IMDB. And it literally, you've done so much freaking crap. Not crap, but you've done so much stuff. Thank you. Like, literally, like, questionable. I just, stop, stop. People are like, maybe. It's just like, there's truly so much on there. I was like, I just kept scrolling. I was like, that's really nice. Because I feel like I've seen you, like, do so many things because I have, like, consistently seen you on my screen. That is really, you're lovely. Thank you for that. No, thank you. It's a funny, it's funny, because I have been blessed to, like, be doing this for a really long time. Yeah. And I think I'm still. a couple years ago, I feel like I started trying to blend, like, what my younger self did. I almost viewed

her as, like, a separate person to me rather than, like, I did that. It was like, oh, she did that. Like, she pulled that off. Yeah. And so it's been a really interesting thing, like, trying to reflect and maybe acknowledge and actually be like, oh, it's been, like, quite a ride. Yeah. I feel very, very grateful that it hasn't stopped. And I'm still navigating and figuring it out. Yeah. How old were you when, like, what was the first? job you booked? The first job I booked. Well, I did a commercial when I was two weeks old. L.O.L.L. With my mom. But that was just because my mom booked the commercial and she just had a baby. And they said, your baby can be in it. And she was like, great. Oh, my gosh, wait. That's so cute.

I know. So like an Office Depot commercial. Isn't that funny? Wait, love that. I know. So there's that. But then the real story is, so my sister's 13 years older than me. Okay. She was an actress and then decides to go to college, got a degree and stuff. But before that, she was auditioning for movies and did a film and things like that. And so I was three and she was auditioning for this movie. They saw me in like the waiting room with my mom and they said, does she act? I think they said no. And they were like, does she want to try? And so I went and auditioned for that and then did that film when I was, when I was three. And it was, I still haven't seen it because it was such a dark movie that I wasn't able to watch her when I was younger, and I just have never come around to, like, watching it. But it was

John Travolta and Salma Hayek and James Conellif. It was like the most beautiful Jared Letto. It was the craziest cast in Orlando, Florida and Little Baby Bailey. Oh my gosh. So that was, that was the first one. And then came Bridget Tarbethias. Yeah. And did you just kind of consistently do it? Yeah. Did you go to school or were you homeschooled? I went to a little private elementary school in Florida, which was amazing. I think I owe so much gratitude to them because I really wasn't able to be there much. And they weren't the kind of school to say, well, she's not here. So it doesn't make sense for us to have her. It's too complicated. Or they just tried to adapt as we were trying to adapt. And I think my mom made such a point of if I had like a week off or a few days off,

we'd go right back to Florida. And I'd go back to school and pack my lunch and learn about Jesus. And like, I think it was just a really beautiful, even though I wasn't there, the entirety of the experience, it was the only school experience that I did get to have. And built, I think, a lot of foundation in my heart that exists still to this day because of those teachers and because of my time. And all my siblings went there and now, like, my nieces and nephews in Florida have all gone to Christchurch. So it was just like a really sweet. I feel like I at least got to have that.

Yeah. Was that just for elementary school or did you do that junior high and high school? Just for elementary. Okay. I did tour a high school. I was really excited about the idea of like going to an actual middle school and high school and stuff. And so I went to the school that my sister had gone to toward it. And then we looked at my schedule for that year. And it was, we couldn't even find like three days for me to go. And so it just didn't make any sense. So then I did online virtual school, which is just, it was horrible. Yeah. Horrible. I was like, where are the books? Everything was like online. I'm still asking this question. Every day I'm like, where are the books? That's so funny. Where's the paper?

The hard copies. I'm a hard copy girl. Right, you have to. I love it. And I know it's not great. I get that. I understand. But I need to like physically touch something.

Yeah. So then, yeah, then came that, which was a whole, a whole beast in itself. Yeah. Were you, like, bumed at the time that, like, did you go to a prom or, like, have any of that, like, high school experience? I didn't, I didn't go to a prom. I didn't have those, those experiences. Yeah. I didn't, I never felt sad about it though.

Yeah. I really didn't. One, I think because it was always said to me when I was little, like if you're not happy, we can quit. If you're not having fun, like, no one needs you to keep doing this. So I always had that knowledge in my head. Yeah. But I loved it what I was doing.

So I didn't want to trade it for anything. And then I'm trying to get it back. Like I still have it in myself, but my younger self was so good at someone. I'd be like, are you sad that you're not at like the dance or the prom? And I'd be like, well, I just went to the White House Correspondents dinner. And that was kind of like a prom. Like, I had this way of just viewing things for what they were and finding the joys in it. And so I felt grateful for that.

But then I became like 14 and realized like I've never had to sleep over. So then I'm a bit delayed in those things I would say more. So I'm still trying to kind of find my tribe of people. Yeah. Do you feel like you ever, because I always wanted. under this with child actors. Do you feel like you had any form of, like, identity struggle? Like, who is, like, Bailey, like, aside from all of these characters that you're portraying? Yeah. Probably more recently than before. I think, I don't know. I think, like, 20s have been, like,

the 20, you know, the age of the 20s have been just really odd for me a little bit, a very, a lot of reflection. I just did a show for two seasons. and that basically took up four years of our life almost. And within that, there was actually more time to sit with myself than I had ever had. Yeah. Because we were just upstate filming and we filmed for 10 months. And it was the first time I feel like I got to sit there and be like, oh, oh my gosh, even within the mayhem of what our hours were and like the experience. But no, I think I think I probably have that more so now in the sense of like I'm old enough now to know the kind of life that I'm really truly working for and it's not that far away.

Yeah. In terms of just family and the things that are fragile and you can't get back and that have nothing to do with this business that just matter to me. And so I feel like I probably am feeling that a bit more as of lately than before. It's now slowly knocking and we're addressing. Yeah. No, I think that's like so common even just, you know, acting world aside. I feel like that is so normal for people in their 20s to feel.

And it's truly something that is so relatable, like no matter what industry you're in is like your 20s is just like, wait. What the heck? What am I doing? I mean, I turn 28 in next month. It's just crazy. Happy right there. But which I'm like, even like still now, I'm like I actually can't wait to turn 30 because everyone says like you feel better about yourself when you're 30. Why am I like convinced that I'm like, I don't want to rush time.

at all. I'm trying to really enjoy. But I just have this gut feeling. Yeah. I'm like, give me to my 30s. I know. I think like watching Taylor, because he's five years older than me. Right. So like watching him turn 30, he was like, he was a little nervous about it, but like watching him like turn 30 and then like feel like now like 33 and just like thriving. Like I'm like, okay, I have like something good. No, it'll be really good. It is weird saying that I'm 28 because it feels like, like so like I just think back to when I was like 16, 17, 18 and like I would hear someone was 28. I was like, whoa. That's an adult.

I know. I'm not an adult. I just had that conversation with my little niece the other day. I was just with her. She's 12. And she was just talking about ages. And I looked at her and I said, okay, I said, here's what I'm going to tell you. Just enjoy.

I was like, you're going to get there. And she like kind of rolled her eyes. And I was like, I know why you just rolled your eyes. People used to say that to me. And I'd always be like, that's so. annoying. I know. But I said it's true. So just try to, try to embrace it. She's like, okay, yeah, you embrace it too. I was like, okay. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Let's be honest, we all have a million things going on in our everyday lives that we have to worry about.

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OLL.com. That's OLL.L.L.Y.com. These statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I'm curious with, you know, having worked so much, have you ever hit a point where you're like, I need a break? Or has it felt, have you been able to? to like pace it out well enough. I think I'm, I don't think I've ever said it. Yeah. Um, one, because I don't know what I would do with a break. Yeah. Which maybe is a conversation in itself. Like, you know. Yeah. Um, but my home is a set. Like, I never feel, I'm a home sick because you miss your people, but I quickly make that a home and love meeting different people and

becoming close and forming something. And so the idea of taking a break from, that even is really, would be tough for me. I feel like I've had breaks forced on me. Like, when the strike happened, that was a break that, like, affected all of us. And I think all of us stared at a wall for a little bit. Yeah. What do we do with this information? Yeah. And then, like, when COVID hit, that felt like my first break ever. Yeah. So I feel as if it almost happens. Yeah. And then I go with it, but I've never, I've never said it. Yeah. That's great. We recently. We recently. had Anna Cathcartes on.

Yeah. And she was telling us about how, like, you know, she loved that. She's so sweet. She's the sweetest. And, like, one of the wisest people I've ever met. Like, she sat down and I was like, I could listen to you speak for hours. Yeah, she's great. Lovely.

I haven't seen her forever. But, yeah. I always, I have, like, the little ones that I keep an eye on. Yeah. And I kind of feel stalkerish because I don't know if they know that I'm keeping an eye on them. But I feel I get protective over the little guineings. I'm like, bless you all. She's so great.

I appreciate they're good. But when she was talking about something I never, like, thought of of how, like, the switch, like, growing up, acting wasn't a job. She had the same thing. Her parents were like, you don't want to do this, like, fine, like she felt was very safe to leave. Absolutely loved it. And then when she, like, switched to being an adult and then was also, like, the lead of her show at that same time, she, it was a switch that did start to, like, make it feel like work. Yeah. And, you know, there was no, like, school time.

there was no like hours. There was no like, well, actually there was, there was hours before. Now there was no hours. Yeah. Now it's hours on set. Yes. Yeah. So I'm curious to that.

Because Taylor didn't have, I mean, he like, he finished school and then he didn't have that, like, switch for him. Did you ever have that? I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think I did personally. Yeah. Mm-mm. I know.

It's so. It's like, it's different. It really is. Yeah. I always, I always say my. my like bless my mother trying to figure it all out because there is no handbook. There is no, it affects, you're throwing humans into an industry that just doesn't give any guidelines or reassurance for the most part or human acknowledgement at how bizarre it can be

too. Yeah. So I could see, I could, I could see that for her too. Yeah. Also, she goes from the movie and then to leading something to is such a different. task to take on. But no, I don't think I felt it. I think you reach an age though where then it becomes like, you realize it is your job though. And then you know, you build and those sort of things. Like that definitely is the switch where you're like, oh gosh. Yeah. But I know, I don't think so for me.

Yeah. You mentioned this earlier about being in upstate New York. Oh yeah. Are you talking about PLO? Okay. I want to talk about it. We, because we talked about with Chandler. I know. And I'm curious to see she obviously opened up about, for those of you that don't know, they are, her and Chandler did a show together. Yeah. My girl. They're just the cutest whole thing. I love her so much.

But when she was on, she was sharing with us about that experience. And I was curious what she said. Roll the tape. She, roll it back, roll it back. Roll it back, roll it. It was really hard. And I've actually never really spoken about this openly. But it was like a dark time.

for all of us. We loved the show so much, but it was just really heavy material that we were dealing with. Creating that, though, and telling those stories just, I think, really took a toll. It was heavy, for sure. No, but she was just like, that was kind of like the first time. Like, I really, like, struggled with my mental health was during that time. I'm like, this is true. Yeah. I could attest to it. As a friend, I concur. Yeah. She would say the same for me, though. Yeah. A hundred percent, I had the same experience. Yeah. What was it like for you? When did you, like, first start having, like, a struggle with that time period?

I feel like, I feel like first season was particularly tough for everyone. Yeah. I think more than the second. Yeah. I, we were filming during COVID. Not that when I work, I'm very much, I work, I go home, I sleep, I learn the pages. I'm back on set the next day. My weekend isn't to do things.

My weekend is to try to stay healthy and then go back to work on that Monday. So when I say like it affected COVID affected us, not in a sense where it was like, I couldn't go to dinner. I couldn't do this. It was more we weren't allowed visitors. We weren't allowed family to come and see us. And you're in a cabin in the woods for 10 months straight. And I think my version of it was my character specifically just was going through a lot of dark stuff from the moment that you met her. I was wearing a pregnancy stomach, you know, 19 and a half hours of the day.

like my ribs dislocated. I was kind of brushing that off, brushing that paint off for the longest time. But I think my hair was blonde. Like there was no connection to myself when I was going home at night. And I think that really was messing with me as I was looking in the mirror and being like, where is Bailey? Like all I see is Imogen right now. And I'm taking her home with me and going to set with her a bit. And that's a heavy character. It was heavy. Yeah, it was really heavy. And I love those kind of characters. I just think for this particular time, we were, we kind of felt like we were in the show, I think, and there was no escape. But it was also turned out to be the most beautiful thing that could have happened because we genuinely all had such love for each other and have so much love for each other. And Chandler was like my little, you know, my little right-hand gal because our characters were always kind of buddy buddies anyways.

And so we'd have these little side moments to build in the first season. But second season, we definitely all went in being like, okay, all the dogs are coming. Whoever has a dog, the dog is going to be there. And it was summertime and it was sunny. And we just had been established this foundation where we could all read each other in two seconds, I think, and know who needed to step out for a second or know who needed to talk or just have a read on each other. But, you know, when you first get put in a situation, you're also just learning everything at once. And the stakes are high.

doing a show where the stakes are high and everyone online has something to say. You know, I think there was just yeah, so many pieces of the puzzle. Yeah. But Chandler handled it all with Grace. Oh my God. I was so proud of her. But, um, oh yeah, no, we, we cried our fair share of tears. Oh my gosh. Just our fair share. I can't, I can't imagine. How do you like, like, do you just come out of like that tough state once you're like wrapped and you're like, okay, I'm free now? Like, is that what happens? Or do you, you have to like address, what was going on? I actually think I did have to address it. Because when I landed back from the first season, my sister looked at me. We went out to lunch the next day. And I was like, yeah, I'm doing good. Like, I just feel really happy to be back. I said it's kind of a whirlwind, you know. Filming becomes such a blur. It's the weirdest thing. It's all consuming. And then you step out of it. What just happened? But my sister was the one who looked at me and she said, I don't think you're that great. She was like, I think you're maybe, you know, a percentage.

of yourself, but you're also hidden in there. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. And I think it just took time. Yeah. Just to process and be still and be back in my place and get my extensions out of my hair. Turn your hair back brown. Turn your hair back to brown.

Become Bailey again. Yeah. Yeah. Did you go to therapy at all throughout that time? Or? I tried it. I went through about three different therapists. I know.

It's tough for me. Therapy. I feel like I love I love what it has done to people in my life. I just haven't, I don't think, found my person yet. Yeah. And I think I always try to edge on the side of optimism. And when my brain feels low, trying to turn it into joy the best that I can. And I get, it's weird sitting and telling someone about your life when in general I have a, I'm away,

even though I know that they can't say anything. Yeah. I need to work through that to be like, I can trust you and you're not going to go put this out there or say something. And so I think it just comes down to finding my person. Yeah. But I was trying. Chandler was. We were each other's.

We were each other's. Yeah. I mean, honestly, yeah. I love. I'm Taylor both preach therapy. But it is like, sometimes it's just not for people. And I always like try to encourage people if you have. haven't found the right person.

To keep trying. Yeah, to keep trying. And it does get, it can get discouraging because, like, you're, like, opening up and sharing. And then you're like, wait, you actually aren't. It's a relationship, truly. Like, so you have to be able to have that with that your person. And I know Taylor, that was a fear of Taylor's when he started therapy as well, was, you know, he's, you have to, in this industry, like, you're private. It's tough.

And he definitely, like, had so many walls up, like, even just with, like, like, like, like, those friends. Yeah. So, yeah, having that and like him, like, finally, like, being able to, like, open up has been really sweet. Really cool. Yeah, I'm going to find. I'm going to, I'm on the hunt. Yeah. I'm on the hunt. I have found this really wonderful human. Um, and her name is Valerie. And she's not my therapist, but I think basically kind of is my therapist. Yeah. Um, I think speaks in a sense of like, I will tell her everything and sob on the phone for an hour with her. Yeah. Um, but comes from a place of, I, I do feel as if I'm a bit of an. intuitive person. Like I do think people have energies and I think this world is so beautiful. And and so talking with her in that perspective has been, I started working with her right after the

first season. And that's been really a really helpful thing for me. Yeah. Kind of going. That's amazing. I think honestly just being able to like voice how you're feeling because so many times like even like I go to therapy, I feel very safe talking with Taylor about stuff. And like there's still things that I'll like work up in my head and it's this huge thing and then I say it out loud. I'm like, oh wait. I know. I actually. Did that bother me? Yeah. That actually isn't as big as I like made it. I'm actually sorry with it. Yeah. So it's honestly just being able to like have someone. He's actually there to hear. Yeah. And yeah. There that loves you and like obviously wants the best for you. Yeah. It's going to like give you. Yeah. And who at the end you're not like, I'm so sorry. Did I just? Did I take too much? Did I take too much space in talking about what I'm going through? Yeah. So I think I'm so highly aware of that as well. And just my personal life. And so it's nice to be like, no, that is your hour. And they do want to hear the ins and outs. And it's so funny because I'll get on with her and I'll feel perfectly fine. I was signing on. I'm like, I don't even know if I need this. She'll say hi to me. And I'm like, yeah. Sorry. It's so good. Taylor all the time. He like, like, I, my whole thing is I'll always like make his appointment. for him. I'm like, hey, you're going to go. Nice. And which he loves everyone. I'm not forcing

him to do it. No, no. He loves it. He loves it. But he'd be like, what am I going to talk to him about? Like, I don't have, like, everything's great. Nothing's going on. I'm like, I think you'll find something. Yeah, you'll find it. Sure enough. He's like, that was great. I feel much better. Yeah. Look at that. Funny how that happens. I love that. But I just had something you sort of made me think of, I recently was like, sharing like some personal stuff with my best friend. She lives in Austin and she's, she's a nurse, like, very, like, just normal life. And I felt like I was just, like, burdening her with, like, all the stuff. And I was, like, spewing. And I was like, okay, I was like, I can say this because, like, you know me and, you know, like my heart and you know. And I was just like, I was just, like,

going off. Yeah. And then, like, the next day, I was like, was like, a little, like, too, like, harsh on the phone. And then I called her this morning. And I was like, hey, I've just happened. Yeah. No, literally. I was. I was like, hey, at 10 a.m. I facetined her. I was like, hey, I was feeling a little bad for, like, being so, like, aggressive, not towards her, but the way I was speaking. Yeah. She was like, what? No, no. Right. You're fine. I know. Yeah. She's like, why are you apologizing? She's like, I know you. You're fine. I was like, okay. That would be you feel better. Chandler and I, obviously Chandler just had the insane dancing with the star journey that she had. Yeah. And that was just so much for her. But we. We squeezed in this little pocket of a night that we were both free for, right? Like, pose dancing with the stars. And we were like, if we don't do it now, it'll be another four weeks or five weeks for our schedules.

And so she came over to the house and spent the night. And we just talked. But it's so funny because I'll see her finally talk, knowing that she hasn't been able to have a space to say anything. Yeah. And she would be like, but also you, you know, and I'm like, no, no, you. I know. We both do this, like, bag and the court thing. I felt like she was doing that here.

Like, we were just, like, we were just, like, chatting. Yeah. We got along so great. And she was like, but, like, she says something and be like, I'm like, you're fine. You're fine. Like, I know you're not, like, trying to be, like, rude or read or I know your heart right now. Even just like, after talking with her for an hour. She's great.

I understand. No. She's a lifer for me for sure. I love that. Yeah. That's really special. But on our chat is, like, all of us are still popping. I love that.

I'm like, how beautiful is that? Yeah. You put those many girls in a room and it's like that much love. Yeah. What a blessing. Yeah. Honestly, yeah, I was just talking with someone. I'm not, not, I mean, I love, I'm for the women. I am a girl's girl in that regard. But sometimes in like a group of girls, I don't know. I get overwhelmed. And I'm like, sometimes I don't like mesh with girls. Yeah. Girls. Yeah. And so that I would like worry about that for myself if I was in like your scenario like being around. Yeah. A cast of girls. It all worked. And like you're around for 10 months. So like all your hormones think. Yeah.

Like, it's honestly the best timing when that happens. Like, we're all looking at each other like, shit. But that's literally like the best thing. When me and my like best friends all think up, we're like, we've really been getting some good quality time together. Yeah, yeah. It's so true.

It's a good measure of how much time. So funny, God. It's so funny. But that I just, sorry, this just made me think of when you asked me if I ever felt like I was missing out from like experiences. I would say second season. reason for me. Actually having those many people around me that we all had this relationship. And it was like summertime. I was like, wait, I feel like this is my friend. We all were in the same apartment

complex. And next door, you know, whoever wasn't working would make something and then leave it outside the door for that night for that person. And we'd go and just have wine and like sit and talk. And I remember looking and I looked at Chandler and everyone, I was like, I think this is, is this my college experience? They were like, I think this is your high school, middle school It's all of the above. It's all of the above. Oh my gosh. But that was actually very healing for me. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I bet it was healing one in that regard, but also to like make up for like the season filming prior. Plus that season. Yeah. We had that's like that season. If Roberto and Lindsay were on, they would also be like, that was a tough first season. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Okay, lemon drops. I have been sharing this self-care year that I want to have. It's one of my goals for this year. And when I say self-care, I don't necessarily mean, like, therapy, journaling, like all that stuff obviously is important.

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Thank you, Kualia, for sponsoring this episode. Lemon Drops, those are our listeners. That's our community. I don't know if I've ever told you guys this, but we have a form that we have our guests fill out before they come in just because, you know, we can talk about sensitive stuff and we want to make sure we're being respectful

and don't want to make people ever feel uncomfortable, want to talk about. You could ask me anything. Except for the last one. I can't answer that one. But you can ask me anything after that. So on this form, though, you wrote something that I'm... This was a while ago, too, this month.

Because I was wondering if I was going to have to update it. So what did I say? What did Bailey in that time of her life say? Yeah. I really like this. So one of the questions is, like, what would you say is the greatest challenge in your life? And you said, knowing I'm enough. and always fighting to stay honest to myself as possible.

Oh, yeah. I loved that. Thank you. I agree with that. I still agree with that. Yeah, it's complicated, isn't it? Yeah. That it's so simple, like, to know that you're enough and you're okay and you're safe and you're loved.

And this is where I get email. I knew it happened. Chandler called it too. I knew it. It's tough. And I don't want to blame it on the industry that I'm in because I think this is a feeling that everyone in their life wonders or feels. And I think you get cut in so many different ways in your life. You lose people.

You think you have an idea of something. And then it turns out to be different. And so it's something that I'm definitely still working on is just knowing that I am fine. And however anyone else wants to take anything at the end of the day, I know my. intentions and I know my heart and I know that what comes out of my mouth is honest and true and that there's beauty in itself and that is enough. But it's really, it's a tough one to actually put together and believe all the time. Yeah. Well, that's why I loved reading that because like it is so relatable no matter what, honestly, no matter what stage of life you're in. Like,

truly like knowing who you are and staying true to yourself. I say all the time like with this podcast, I started at like for the reason to be able to have like these conversations and just have open conversation with people so that people listening could feel less alone and could feel heard and could feel like they could talk to someone about it. And there's, you know, there's been times where we've been offered guests, which I think any other person would be like, why did you turn them down? Like, why did you do that? And it's something that I do. And it's something that I definitely like struggle with sometimes and trying to stay true to who at the end of the day. This is like, this is my baby.

This is like, this is who I am. And like staying true to what my intention was of this podcast. It just, it can get hard sometimes. Yeah, that must be tough because I would imagine then, then you start it. Then you get all the cooks in the kitchen. And then it's like all the, did you feel pressure quickly? I'm trying to make it something that it may be. was never supposed to be. Like, do you feel protective over it still now? Yeah, I mean, I think I'll

always be protective over it. Yeah. Because it is also just because I've seen the response, like, having people come up to me and like say that this podcast saved their life and like they were suicidal and how it's changed. Like, how they view things. Like, I, I always tell Taylor, I'm like, I don't, I don't think I could ever, like, I don't know when I'm going to stop doing this. No, no, you shouldn't. I don't think I can. No. But just like hearing that, I'm like, okay, this is like... It's worth it. This is one, what I'm supposed to be doing, but also, like, this, like, it has to

say like this because, you know... Well, the intention is such an important thing, isn't it? Like, the purpose of why you're doing the thing. Yeah. And keeping that pure and sacred and protected. Yeah. Which I think you're doing a beautiful... Thank you.

A beautiful job at. Thank you. It's tough. Yeah. Yeah. And it, you know, it is so tempting to, like, do that brand deal or have this guest on which I know, we'll get the views. We could get paid a lot.

And I'm just like, like, I know... Like, I'm trusting God to carry this, like, where it's going to be. And, like, now, like, starting, like, our third season. It's crazy. Like, having two full years, like, done with this to see where it's come from. Like, I'm also someone that had, I'm really hard on myself. Isn't like, I, like, I literally, like, want to, like, be Joe Rogan and, like, have, like, the biggest podcast. Like, I'm like, why aren't I there?

Like, I'm like, I need to be there. I'm not working hard enough. Babe. Babe, I've been up and office since I was freaking, if we go, let's go back to two weeks old, shall we? I'm like, geez, lo. Wee. Yeah. I'm, my friend just spoke to me the whole drive here. My friend McKayley, she lives in New York. And we've both been like going through it recently in the last few weeks and very mirrored with like what we were going through. Yeah. And she just said to me, she was like, yes, well, this is because you're your worst critic. You are the harshest person to yourself. I was like, I know. That checks out. We just had someone on and she was saying we need to treat ourselves like we treat other people. And I know. And I was like, wait. We. We. What? And we're like, that's so true. Like, when, when I'm having, like, a day and I, like, when I'm having a sad day and I just, like, work from bad, I just say in bed all day. Like, Taylor is, like, take your time, like, bring me food, helping the dog. Like, he's so kind. And then, like, I'm like, I need to, like, that's how I need to be to myself. I know. But it's. But I'm the same. I don't know. I, like, apologize if I go home and I have, like, I just had our family dog just passed. Bless Maddie.

Shout out to Maddie. 14 years of like the most beautiful pup. As my pup's whining. Oh my gosh. Is that a little Godwink? Wait, what? What was that? That's making me emotional.

I'm like laughing because now I'm getting nervous. I'm like, Maddie is whining outside the door right now. Wait. Does you want to come in? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hi. You're so beautiful.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, you heard about Maddie. Bye. She'll come back with the toy for gosh. I hope so. She'll be in here in two seconds. I got to go on the Drew Barrymore show. Yes.

And she has her dog. That's literally like our mini Drew. That's a really lovely thing to say. I think she's amazing. And it's very kind that you just said that because it's so funny. I was laying in bed last night. And I'm again with being kind to yourself, really bad at reaching out. for like help.

Yeah. I'm not great at that. Okay. It takes a lot for me to be like, I'm not okay. And I'm getting better at being like unwell. Yeah. Unwell is what I say. But I was literally laying in bed last night and I made my boyfriend turn on Santa Clarita diet.

I was like, have you ever seen this show? It's so good. Oh my gosh. And so we put on Santa Clarita diet and I was watching her. And she was just so amazing when I was on her show and exchanged numbers. And she was like, they ever need anything. I'm here. And I was literally laying in bed last night.

I'm being like, I think I'm going to call her. I think what's the worst that can happen? That's so true. I'm like, she doesn't answer. Yeah. But there's something in there where she's been in this for so long and she just seems so lovely. And we should give that love to ourselves. Yeah.

But from one got another, I understand it. Yeah. It's really tough. Yeah. Really tough. I started writing love notes to myself. Yeah. I've started giving myself hugs.

Have you ever giving yourself a hug? I've done it once or twice when, like, I've been learning like the different things or the different tools. Yeah. I give myself hugs now sometimes because I'm a very big physical touch person. Okay. Like huge. I could have guessed that with when we sat down you. Yeah.

I'm closer. I'm, and on set, it was so funny on PLL. They'd all call me Mama B because they'd all make fun because I'd just like walk behind them and kind of scratch their shoulder and just give them like a love to happen. But I am. I'm a very physical touch person. And sometimes we'll bottle it in. And then if you give me like a hug or you just touch me like I let it out.

It's very, it's really interesting. I don't know what that means, but there's probably something in there that we could, a therapist could help me with. No, love notes to myself in my diary, like in my journal. Okay. Because I love writing. I think there's a lot of power and putting words on paper. I found it very, very healing.

Yeah. And then, but then found it hard to commit to. Yeah. So I kind of started to reframe it a bit and writing like, hi, Bailey. I know this has been a lot, but I'm really proud of you for X, Y, and Z. And it was so strange the first time around. Yeah. And then it was really beautiful because I was telling myself the things that I think I just needed to hear anyways and that I would tell a friend or someone that I love.

So, yeah. I love that. I love notes. I need to, I need to get better at journaling. I feel like I like go. I go in phases. I was going to say, I really like go in waves. Me too.

I mean, to make you feel better last night, I was stowed with my boyfriend in the kitchen. And I said, sorry to cut you off. I was on one. I was like, sorry to cut you off. I was like, can I just say, I said, I haven't journaled in a minute. He's like, I know, I know. I said, and it's upstairs. It's in the bedroom to the left. I said, I know exactly where it is. I said, it's just been knocking on my brain the last week. He was like, well, you should pick it up and journal. I said, no. Why not? I said, I'm pissed on it. Why are you about it at the journal? I was like, I don't know, but it's bothering me right now. And I just go through, yeah, I just go through waves. I think it's because I don't want to write the same. I think it's because I don't want to write the same. I don't. I think it's because I don't want to write this. I. I. I don't. I sentence that's like, it's been a minute. Yeah. Dot, dot, dot, dot. I'm back. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I also feel like maybe you're like, maybe that means you like mentally aren't prepared to like confront what you're going to like write. Or you're putting it off because you're scared to. Yeah. I think I'm putting it off. You should, you should write it tonight. Sure. I'll let you know. You should write tonight in a journal too. You write all right. Okay. Deal. Deal. Deal. Perfect. Yeah. This is amazing. I wish there was camera for her. One of them might be able. I mean, that one could definitely pick her up.

It's a really great all you have. It's really beautiful. She always has two toys. Yeah, it's really incredible. Okay, so aside from journaling, is there any other like self-care tools that you use, mental health tools, anything like that? Worship music is a really big one for me. Yeah. And it's funny because I'll put that off too. Yeah. I understand that. Does that make sense? Yeah.

No, I definitely will put that off because I'm like, I know if I like hear anything that is like remotely spiritual right now, I'm going to cry. Yeah. Yeah. There's a song by Housefires, I think. It's like, build my life, I think, or something like that. I'll send it to you. It's like an eight-minute song. And that's my shower song when things are just not good.

And I know. And I just saw it. But worship music. do, I'll put it on, like, on the treadmill and stuff. And, um, I'm just listening to it. And it always, oh, oh, no. She'll just play with herself for a moment here. Perfect. Come on. Take it to mom. Yeah. Um, but the treadmill actually. The treadmill is like a huge one for me. Remy is currently, oh, she will, she's a tug award dog. Yes, you are. Hi. Hi. Hi. Rem. You're going to need to go out, honey. No, she's

fine. She gets, mom, I'm fine. The people who are listening to this on audio right now are going to be so good. That's true. I always forget that. Yeah. How many people do you think just listen on audio versus video? I could give you exact numbers because I know those.

Do you? Yeah. How much more is video versus audio? It just depends. Sometimes there's guests that I like need the video. Yeah. I don't know why. Yeah.

So I kind of forget that there's an option of just listening. Yeah. But I'm like, I want to see them. The ASMR of. Let me see the Tuckaboard. Yeah. Hey, Rem, can you just come here for two seconds? Come here. Oh, sure. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. You got that one out. I'm sorry. It was not a problem. She's so beautiful. No, the treadmill actually was the thing for me that saved me during, during like one of my lowest kind of spurts. And it was funny because it was the first time that I was kind of looking at working out and being so careful because it was entering the second season of PLL that like really, I realized, oh my gosh, this is just.

so good for me. Yeah. I think just like sweating, like that time to just sweat from like a mental standpoint. Yeah. Um, has been huge. And so big that like even like my family sometimes will be like, have you, have you just went and walked? And yeah. And it's not for any other reason except for, I just find that it really clears my head. Yeah. And so that's a big one. And then, yeah, it's usually just like talking. Talking out loud. Not staying. Not staying. up here. I think that's the biggest thing. So my sister or whoever in my life who I'm blessed to get to have love me, which I'm very grateful for, it's getting, it's trying to get it out of up here when it's really heavy and just trying to speak out loud. Because once it builds,

it's, it can get tough to get out of that place. Yeah. I feel like I, yeah, you then you just like it's spiral. And you're like, you don't know what ways like true. Yeah. Yeah. Or what your placing into it. And so that is something I'm really aware of now. So yeah. And I think you still, I think things can work for you then that then just stop working. Yeah. Which can be really frustrating for people. Like I have friends who are like, this is finally working for me and this has made me feel a lot better. And now it's, it doesn't anymore. And so I think it's just, the edge and, you know, flows of trying to navigate it with all the life throws at you. So it's different every day. Yeah. Life man.

Life. This life. This life. This life. This life. Speaking of this life, what's sex for you? I know you've like been dabbling in music. Yes. Do you want more of that? Are you going to act more? Are you going to do? Do something else? I do want. I do want more with music. Yeah. For myself, which I think that's why I want more for it is because I'm not doing it for any for any other reason except for if I can check off the thing that when I was a little girl said that I want. wanted to do. How cool is that? My partner is a musician who produces. So if I could connect with him on that thing and work with him and have that for our relationship, that's such a beautiful thing for us. And then I think for someone who's been interviewed since I was so little who's like asked the same things all the time to get to just not have anything twisted or half printed or whatever it is and just be in control of that story.

Yeah. Whether it's personal about my life or it's just like this persona that exists of me that I would love to write about and make it even more elaborate. It's good. But I have a song. We have a couple, but I think I'm going to release this next one. I finally, you know, it's me. And it's weird because I like, again, harsh worse critics.

So I hear it. And I'm like, if Kelsey Ballerini released it, I love it. Yeah. You know, but it's me. Yeah. No, I don't know. But I just believe in the song. And it's just, it's literally about navigating really like your 20s and which is everything that we've been talking about to today.

And then I just produced a movie before the end of the year. So like before I came here, I was on with editors and we're editing it and cutting it. Wow. I just love being behind the scenes. And so I think a lot of this year, one, it's the first time I've been free in a minute. Yeah. So just being really selective about. what energy I'm walking into and what I'm bringing into my life and who I'm surrounded by.

I think trying to be more protective of that more than ever in my life now. And I've always been a believer of God's plan. Yeah. So actually just really trusting that, being like, God's plan. Yeah. And carving out, I think, more time to be like, what is it that I – like, I love so much that you've built this for yourself. No, I truly mean that. Like, it's such a beautiful thing when I was little –

it's the thing that I would always talk about is I love people. How do I connect with people more? And so I think entering this new year and then we've all like LA's been such a mess like the fires. We're so sad. There's just so much community and reminders of outside of all the noise and outside of like what our phones show us and the perfection of everything, which is just so tough on a mind. Like what is my place in in a field like this? Because it is the truest form of my heart. So I, I think trying to just breathe and like live and I don't know. Go with the freaking flow. Yeah. For once. Just go with it. Just go with it, babe. Just go with it. Just go with it. I had to. No, I'm glad you did. The pun presented itself. I've said it before and then I get nervous.

But someone thinks that I've said it on purpose. But I'm like, just go with it. You can. It's fine. I'll allow it. Thank you. You can, you can quote yourself, make your jokes. Anyone can do it. If they did it, they can do it. Whatever. I don't care. Thank you. It's been so fun. I'm so happy. I would talk to you all day, though. That's the thing. I know. Taylor finishes his meeting. He's like, are you guys so recording for like two hours later? I did we get to everything? Yeah. Do you think the people will like this? Oh my gosh. Wait. Shut up. Yes, they will. Is there anything else you want to talk about? Is there anything on your heart that you like came in wanting to talk about? No, I don't. I mean, no, I think I think I basically just said thank you to you for this. Because I think that is what I wanted to say. It's just thank you for this. And you have people who also thank you. And I don't know. I feel like just to everyone listening, I just think the world is so loud right now. And I think our phones are so loud.

And we're all doing the best that we can. And I've just gone through such a series of change in the last two months. Like I feel like everything that I thought I knew or was in place or people that I thought were there forever. Like there's just been so much change and loss. And so from someone who's just navigating. what it's like to put trust in people, to lose that trust, to then open your heart back up again, to then retry to navigate it. You're going through any form of change. I think I just want to say, allow yourself to acknowledge that change is a lot. And it is scary and it brings up a lot of things

and people can say to you, you know, people are there for a reason or a season and they'll come out you with things that really are true and make sense, but it's really tough to hear in that time and in that moment. So just, and I say this to my sister and I try to say to myself and all the women in my life and people that I love, but just try to give yourself grace. Like, grace is the most beautiful thing. And if you're not talking to Jesus, start talking to him again if you feel like it and say hello. And just see how that starts to kind of move your soul and just be kind. Yeah. And just know, everyone's like actually pretty fragile. Yeah. For the most part, we're all pretty fragile. and just doing our best.

So lead with yourself and have no regrets if you are who you are at the end of the day. Yeah. Even if others tell you it ain't good, it is good. Yeah. You are good. You're enough. You are enough. I love that.

You're lovely. Thanks. No, thank you. I really appreciate it. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.