The Squeeze - Bobby Berk: Redefine the Road to Success

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

Television host, author, and interior designer Bobby Berk sits down with the Lautners to chat all things design and mental health. He discusses his upbringing and the sense that he never really belonged in his small town, how he began to make a name for himself in the design world, and how that led him to television—something he never really wanted. He offers advice to anyone out there who may be fearful of taking a non-traditional route in life before opening up about his depression and experience coming off of his ADHD medication. Lastly, he talks about his new book, Right at Home, which is more than just a glamorous coffee table book. Right at Home helps people understand design, and highlights the intersection of your home and your mental health.  Bobby Berk’s new book Right at Home: How Good Design Is Good for the Mind is available at bobbyberk.com/book  To see more from Bobby visit bobbyberk.com and follow @bobby on socials.   Thanks to our amazing sponsors for supporting this episode!  Blissy — Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code SQUEEZE to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/SQUEEZE  Osea — For a limited time, you can get 10% off with our code LEMONDROPS at https://oseamalibu.com/products/plumping-hydration-duo?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=influencer&utm_campaign=082023_PLUMPINGDUO_taylautner Fast Growing Trees — Get 15% your entire order when you go to FastGrowingTrees.com/THESQUEEZE, but only through OCTOBER 15TH  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail]. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner + on TikTok @thesqueezepodcast  To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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without your re-sadviseur or sunnycars. combe. Don't let, you know, the societal norms that these corporations have ingrained in us to think that we have to do to be a success. Don't let that dictate your outcome because you don't have to take the quote-unquote traditional

road to success to end up at a successful destination. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. Hello, your little lemon drops. Happy Wednesday. I'm Taylor Lautner. I am also Taylor Lautner. That's the first. And we're here.

And we're here. We've never done that. Live in studio. Now, it was sarcasm, babe. Oh, okay. I can't believe we're in September. Ah, yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. We're at the year ago. Man. Are you guys feeling like that, too? Because I feel like I just like I just like flew by. Blanked. Pretty crazy. Yeah.

Like we were just talking about we haven't seen our best friends. They moved to Austin. And we haven't seen them since our wedding. And that's almost a year ago. Yeah, 10 months. Nuts. That's crazy. Yeah.

Aside from that, I am very excited at September because it is technically fall. Yeah. We got all that pumpkin spice fall drinks that are out now. They got some fun flavors. Yeah. And we can pull out all of our fall decor. Yeah. Get the house looking all cute and cozy.

Yeah. Let's go. Get it looking cute before we make it looking scary. for Halloween. Yeah. I'm ready. I love it. Well, we have a very exciting episode today.

We do indeed. Yes. Who do we have? Mr. Bobby Burke. Yes. In the flesh, he is here. That was so fun. I mean, from the second he walked in, I was excited because he just has, like, a very, like, fun.

Infectious personality. Yeah. A great energy about him. And also, his outfit was really cute. He walked in. And I instantly, you know, I was like, oh, Taylor's going to love his outfit. Yeah. I want to go steal his entire outfit right now.

Yeah. Well, you know where it's from. Okay. I do. But yeah, it was fun seeing him again. We met him at the CMT Awards last year. We had a fun little moment with him and the rest of the cast that we kind of like talked about. Or I guess I didn't have the moment.

You had the moment and you shared the moment with me. But we talked about it in the episode. Did you not meet them? I did when we were leaving. Yes. They were all out there. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they were all out there. Yeah.

They're all great. Bobby, ironically, was the one that I talked to the most backstage there. Yeah, that is so funny. Getting to know all of them. And me and Bobby hit it off immediately. Besties. Yeah, really are. But yeah, today was great.

He's interior designer, extraordinary, you know, just style guru. I was going to say I took everything in my willpower not to ask him questions about interior design. Yeah, it's probably a good thing you didn't. Yeah. Yeah, but he also just came out with a book. Yeah. Which is really awesome because it like merges his love for interior design and your home.

Yeah. And mental health. Yeah. I'm so excited to read the book. It just came out. We're liking it below. Talk about it in the episode, obviously. but just how, you know, how your home correlates to your mental health and how those two are intertwined, whether we realize that are not.

And I feel like I really relate to that this past year because it's been so busy and hectic for us. And we've had a lot of construction at the house and, you know, changing things around, moving things. It's been a little hectic. And we haven't had like our safe space. That's quiet and like serene. Like I've really learned this year to value. you know, our home and that environment that it provides. It's important.

I mean, your home, your house, wherever you live, like, that is where you recharge your battery. Yeah. And you go out into this crazy world. Yeah. You know, you work, you deal with the stresses of life. And when you come back home, that's, that's your recharge. Yeah.

So it's super important that you make your home. have that environment to be able to recharge you when it's time. Yeah. Sorry, guys, for the ones, you guys who are listening on the audio, Remy's just being a complete ham. Yeah. And one of us named Taylor Lautner is very distracted by it, apparently. Also, one of us talked about needing ADHD medication in this episode. Oh, okay.

There we go. All right, without further ado, you guys are really going to enjoy this one. It's super fun. He's incredible. We love you, Bobby. Thanks for coming on. Yes. Enjoy this.

We'll see you on the other side. All right, everyone. We have a guest that we're very excited about today. And that is the one, the only Bobby Burke. Thank you so much for being there. Of course. That's what you guys. I'm very jealous of your outfit.

Of my outfit? Yeah. Todd Snyder. Okay. I love Todd Snyder. Me too. I wear a lot of it. Okay.

I did think that when you walked in. I was like, oh, Taylor's going to like his outfit. Yeah. Yeah. He stepped out of the car and I was like, dang, that's a good one. Thank you. Okay. You can finish your story that I made you stop.

Yes. So we were talking before we started rolling about a funny story, about a different celebrity, getting nervous just about going up on stage. And I, like, I feel that same way. And I'm not nearly as cool as the person that we were talking about. But when we were backstage last year, like last year now, right? I know. I was it a year before?

I know. It's so hard with COVID. Like it could have been a year ago. It could have been 10 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was 2022. I think it was beginning, like, is like April.

We were engaged. Okay. We were engaged. So, yes. It was last. year. Okay. So last year at the CMT Awards, I feel like I became the six member of Queer Eye, because they just became my besties backstage. Okay. So we're like sitting out, he goes back to present and I'm still like sitting in the audience. He presents, whatever comes back, he goes,

you are not going to believe who I was hanging out with. I was like, what? What are you hanging out with? He was like, big queer eye guys. I was like, oh, really? He's like, I love them. We were talking about this and we were laughing. And he was just like so excited.

And I was like, I love this for you. I love it. I was on cloud nine. But anyways, I was freaking out. I get very nervous about that stuff. Yeah. Like live presenting and being on stage and stuff. all of that freaks me out.

See, it's funny. I don't get nervous about like presenting at the Emmy user going up. That doesn't bother me. One-on-one interaction or like small group interactions. I'm like, like that I get nervous or like because when I'm on stage, like I am. I'm a character. I'm playing myself, but I'm still, I'm not, you know, I'm putting on this face of, oh, I'm not nervous.

You know, and I can make myself be okay. But when it's like really me, like being me and not just saying what's on a teleprompter, that, that gets me more nervous. If there's a teleprompter, nothing makes me nervous. It's when I have to actually like really be cool and have to like be cool on my own. That scares me. I feel that. I love that. I do feel that.

Should we do our citrus game so we don't forget? Yes. We forget it every week. Yeah, we forget it a lot. Oh, sorry. All right. Let's see. This is a segment called Citrus Got Real.

And these are full of random questions. We'll see what you pulled. If you were transported 400 years into the past with no clothes or anything else, how would you prove that you were from the future? Why the no clothes? Yeah, why the no clothes? Well, I would assume the no clothes because if you were transported with your clothes, like your clothes would clearly. differentiate you from the people around you. Definitely.

Um, hmm. How would you prove you're from the future? Maybe I would like, well, see, I didn't really pay attention in history class. So this wouldn't really help my case. But I was going to say maybe I would like predict what was going to happen. Yeah. But then depending on how far back you go, they could think you're like a witch and then just cut you.

Yeah, they would just kill you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they would think you were a wizard, not a future person. Yeah. Um, our time future person. Not a future person.

They're time traveler. I did not even question it. I did not even question it. Yeah. Very difficult. I don't, yeah, no. Because I was getting here to just say, I was like, oh, depending on how long I had to prove it, I would talk about something that's about to happen. But you're right.

I would probably get burned at the stake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because anything. She did a witch. Burn her. She's a witch.

That's what happened. There's some wild things you could say that people would just be like, absolutely not. Yeah. If there's no, if, if I know I'm not going to get killed for being a witch, I would say that something that's going to happen or like, show them something. Yeah. Show them something that was invented in the future that you can. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the wheel. Sandal. The wheel. I was going to say tampon. Show them a tampon. You're like, I got transported 400 years back and the only thing still with me was my tampon. Yeah. I was getting me to say.

I'm like, well, what about if you have like metal parts or something in your body? But I guess a tampon is also something in your body. I was, well, I was going to say, like, show them a filling. But they probably didn't 400 years ago. Wouldn't have gold fillings back then. Not that I have a bunch of gold fillings either. But I feel like I got silvers, right? I don't have a couple.

Do you have no cavities? Wait, you don't have a cap on. Yeah, like the silver? You don't have a silver on? Yeah. I have a collars. couple, I have a couple little small silver ones. Wait, isn't it just a filling?

Isn't it a silver like cap thing? Okay, never mind. We're getting very off track. This is what I'm talking about with this. Well, when you have a question, like 400 years of no clothes and that it's bound to go down a weird hole. Yeah. Tampons and all.

Okay. Yeah, I was like not to go back to the tampons, but it's bound to go down a weird hole. Yeah. I had a feeling today's episode We can go like this And I love it So something as you guys know

That has been a huge part of my mental health journey Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals And as a couple Has been therapy Amen And that is why I am so excited

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slash podcast and use code the squeeze offer is only valid on monthly plans other exclusions may apply c-site for details get going on that therapy okay should we um segue from the tampons holes and fillings uh please okay yeah i would love nothing more all right well diving straight into what we love to talk about here on the squeeze which is mental health awesome you have have been, you've been very open about your mental health journey and while doing our research. I kind of just wanted to go back to the beginning, like your upbringing, if you're open to that. Because I read that your mom had you when she was very young. You were adopted by your aunt.

And you grew up in an Amish town? A lot of our neighbors were Amish. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And still are. Wow. How did growing up in that environment, what affected that have on you, like starting as a child? I mean, I never really felt like I belonged there.

Yeah. You know, I remember even, it was like five or six, I think. And we were at this coffee shop that my dad and I used to go to in the mornings. And one of the old farmer, they were like, boy, you don't belong here? Do you? You belong in New York City or something, don't you? Wow. And I was like, well, I don't even really? really know what that means, but if it's not here, then yes.

Yeah, it's just, I was always a fish out of water. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it had a huge effect on me. You know, it had a huge effect on my mental health and my, my feeling of self-esteem throughout my whole life, like, growing up as a child, like, never really fitting in. You never really shake that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've had a few guests on that. I've had, you know, similar upbringings to that, knowing they were gay and growing up in, you know, in a community like that. We've had a guess on that was literally like to shun from his family and those stories always sad to me.

But it's so amazing the, you know, the outcome of like where your life is. And I feel like those, the hard upbringings like that really just have like rejected. It's given you a lot of like. Like shaped. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, if I had had it easy, you know, it probably wouldn't be where I, where I, where today. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. You know, that definitely drove me to do more. Yeah. Kind of drove me to prove them wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. If there's like a Cliffnut version, because I just think this, I mean, just going off of, you know, your upbringing to getting you to New York, you literally, you moved out when you were 15, like worked at Applebee's, lived in your car. What was like that time period of like that to, you know, obviously that's a large time period from then to Applebee's in New York, but, like, what was that, like a Clifnut version of that?

Like you said, I left at 15. You know, I knew I was gay, but I knew I really couldn't come out there. Yeah. But I knew I had to. Like, I couldn't live wearing a mask anymore and not an N95, you know, an actual, like, mask of nobody in the world knows who I actually am. Yeah. So it was kind of, you know, get the hell out or get out in a different way.

So I left at 15 and like you said, lived on my car. I lived on the street for a week once. I couch surfed a lot. Applebee's, as you mentioned, was always kind of my fallback job. Anytime I'd lose a job somewhere else that I always go back to Applebee's. So then it's 17. I moved to Denver. Everybody asks, why Denver? Yeah, why Denver? I knew one person in the world that didn't live in Missouri and they lived in Denver. So that's why I chose Denver because I knew somebody there. And I moved to Denver at 17 and then at 20 or 21 I moved to New York. I had I went there to visit. I met somebody. I fell in love. I went to move to New York for him. We broke up before I even moved there.

But I fell in love with the city. So I just knew it was where I needed to be. So I moved there, 21, I think. And I kind of went from job to job. I worked at Restoration Hardware. Bath & Beyond, the Italian lending company, a furniture company called Portico. And then after Portico, they went bankrupt one day. And that night, I started my own company. I had built their e-commerce division. And so that night, I quickly got into their database and cloned the database I

had built for them and registered Bobby Burke Home.com. And I'm like, maybe I'll sell a sofa or two while I look for another job. But it actually did well. I was probably one. of the first online retailers of furniture in America at least. My biggest hurdle was getting manufacturers to sell to me because they're like, what online? No one wants to buy furniture online. You're just going to piss off our brick and mortar stores. I'm like, little do you know, your brick and mortar stores will be gone soon. So online did well. And then I opened up my first store in Soho, in New York, and then in Miami and then Atlanta and then L.A. And the brand was doing really well. And then I just opened up a design division. And as that became more successful,

I started closing stores because retail sucks and customers are mean. It was more fun designing. And that was 2015. And then 2017, we moved to New York, or I'm sorry, we moved from New York to L.A. in 2015. And then 20, end of 2016, I started getting calls to audition for a show. And yeah, long story short, there was a show I never thought in the world I thought I would get. Like I didn't really, I had no desire to be on TV. Like being famous was never on a list of things I wanted to do. I had done some other TV things before, but it was always things to just bring brand awareness to my stores. It was always just to build my brand.

And my brand just happened to be my name. I always said if I knew my brand was going to be successful, I would have come up with a different name. It's funny. because calling it my name forced me to be the face of it. And the more and more I was the face of it, the more and more I was like, I don't like me in the face of it, but I had no choice at that point.

So I would always do things on HGTV and stuff to build that brand. So yeah, being famous was not on my list of things. And sometimes it's still not. Sometimes I'm like, I should have thought this through. Yeah. When you moved out and just kind of, went for it. Were you, were you terrified or were you like so young that, you know,

kind of like you didn't think about that? I, I can't say I've ever been terrified to do anything. Wow. Because I think, I think fear comes from a fear of failure. And I don't get me wrong, I do have a fear of failure, but there's never been like that safety net to like a backup plan. It's just like there's no parents to fall back on. There was no trust fund. There was no, you know, there was barely anything in the bank account. There was nothing to fall back on. So I was never scared because like, life sucked anyway.

Like already sucked. So trying something new, there's no way it could have made it worse. Yeah. You know, life was already hard. So yeah, I can't say that bet then. Like I was scared. It was more just like, oh, I'm going to do this and I'm going to make it work. Yeah.

That makes sense. I feel like you're the perfect definition of this and correct me. if I'm wrong in any of this, but you have no high school diploma. Correct. You. Well, I do have a doctorate. Oh. Honorary.

I'm still a doctorate. Oh, yeah. I'm a doctor now. I'm also an ordained minister. Oh. So you can call me Reverend Dr. Bob. You don't have to be crazy about it. You don't have to say Reverend Dr. Burke.

Reverend Dr. Bobby is fine. Okay. Okay. You know a lot. I love it. But, okay. So when you did this, you know, this move and you just went for it, you're the definition of, you know, you packed up your bags and you chased your dreams. What would, and became and are very successful in chasing your dreams, what would you say to someone out there that is afraid of taking that non-traditional route and being like, you know,

I need to go to college for four years and do this. And that's how the book says to do it. I would say not to let capitalism dictate the direction in which you need to go. Yeah. You know, because I'm clearly a definition of success of not taking that route. For sure. And when I say don't let capitalism, I feel like especially our country has been like, oh, you need to go to college and that costs money.

And then, oh, well, college isn't enough. Now, now you also need grad school, and that costs money. And I know so many friends with real doctorates, not just honorary ones like mine, that are waiting tables. And there's nothing wrong with that. But they're also waiting tables with like half a million dollars in debt for school. You know, so I would say don't let, you know, the societal norms that these corporations have included. grained in us to think that we have to do to be a success, don't let that dictate your, your outcome because you don't have to take the quote-unquote traditional road to success

to end up at a successful destination. There are many roads to a successful destination, and it is about the journey, not the money you spend getting there, the checkmarks on the list that society gives you. Yeah, so don't let society tell you how to succeed. Yeah, that's great. I mean, if you look at it, a lot of times the people that succeed the most are the ones that don't take that traditional. Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, I respect you so much for like you weren't handed anything on any silver platter by any means. And like you are, you are the only reason you are at, you know, where you're at today. I mean, of course, there's, you know, people and things along the way, but without your drive.

At my stores, I had one of the guy that was running, like, part of the business past, I think of it, a good friend of mine for like 20 years, but he had a business degree, you know, MBA. And that's why I brought him in because I'm like, you know, I don't know what I'm doing, even though looking back I did, but I didn't think I did. So I've always like, I'm like, I'm going to bring in somebody smarter than me at the things that I don't have knowledge of. And I think that's one of a key to success is if you don't know how to do something, either, A, figure it out or bring in somebody that does, you know, don't be, have such a big ego to think that, oh, I'm the only one I can do this.

Like, bring in somebody to this. So I brought him in. And him and I would always butt heads because I'd be like, oh, we should do it this way. And he's like, no, this is the way you're doing. One day he's like, you know, it just annoys the hell out of me that that was successful. And I was like, what? And he's like, well, don't get me wrong. He's like, you know, but you always go about things in such an untraditional way. And he's like, I think one of the reasons why you're successful is because you don't have my education. You don't have those books and those professors that are like, this is the checklist, this is a successful business.

This is the way you're supposed to do it. You have no idea what you're doing. So you're just like, hey, let's try this. And if it doesn't work, we'll try something else. You don't have fear of all these professors are this education telling you, oh, well, if you do it this way, you're not going to be successful. You just try it. He's like, and so he's like where I always have all these voices in the back of my head of all these people who, taught that weren't actually out there doing anything. You know what I mean? You don't. You just

were like, hey, try it. So don't be afraid to try things. Every failure you have makes your success even greater. Every failure you have, either A, is that moment that you're like, wait, what I'm doing is not the right thing that I'm supposed to be doing. And this failure has taught me that. And now I'm going to try and I'm going to find that thing I am going to be successful at. Or it's that failure that teaches you that the thing that you are trying to be successful, it needs to be done just a little bit differently. You need to pivot a little. Yeah. So don't be afraid of failure. Failures are in my book your successes. Like I have always say I'm like I have failed upwards of life. Yeah. That's such a good saying. Very, very good. That's how you learn. That's how you learn and grow.

Throughout like all of that timeline that we talked about and I mean, I guess even still now, do you, are you still in contact with your family? Yeah. Yeah. I just got back from my My father has passed away about two weeks ago. Oh my gosh. So I was back home in Missouri until Saturday. I'm so sorry. Thank you. So sorry.

Yeah. We didn't speak for a few years. We didn't have a great relationship at all for a few years. But the last, you know, 25 years have been great. Yeah. Like my dad loved my husband. You know, sometimes I think you love my husband more than me. Yeah.

Every time we'd FaceTime, he'd be like, where's my favorite one? I'm like, he's over there. That's literally my family with him. That's so sweet. My husband's name is Dewey and my dad's always like, where's do-do? Where's my do-do at? I love that. That's so tender. I love that. Okay, so fast-word. You get cast on this show and you've talked about that.

I find this so interesting because I feel like this, it's a common thread that people think they want fame and success and then they don't. Not saying you didn't, but you didn't like fully struggle or like you kind of like hit depression hard after your first season. Is that correct? Yeah, you know, it's Hollywood is kind of a, can we curse? Yeah, Hollywood's like a mind fuck. Yeah. You know, all like before the keys to my success was working hard. Yeah.

And being good at what I did. And then, you know, Hollywood's not about that. Hollywood's either about the connection you made or the way you look, you know. It's not about just putting the hard work in. Yeah. And, you know, that kind of hit me hard in the beginning. Yeah. because it didn't matter.

Yeah. What were you like starting to notice like that you're like, oh, I am like struggling right now? Like what signs and symptoms for? I mean, you know, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Yeah. You know, that's the huge first tall tell sign is, you know, the light comes on or comes to the windows or the alarm goes off and you're just like, yeah, no. And you just turn it off. And, you know, our business can sometimes cultivate that because, you know, most jobs, Monday through Friday,

you're at work, you know, all year, unless you're taking a vacation, but there's downtime in our business. You know, there's sometimes a few months or more, you know, where you're just, you're at home. And that makes it worse. Yeah. You know, so luckily for me, though, I, you know, I still have my design firm. So I, there was some times where I could just, like, force myself to go in there, which would help. Yeah. But yeah, our business can sometimes make depression worse. Yeah. That's what I mean. Because you're not keeping your mind busy. You're just, like, sitting around in your thoughts. Yeah. Which is bad sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't think about that.

Yeah, it's not a normal job where, like, yeah, you like work really hard for, you know, a few months, six months. And then you can go three, four months with nothing. And, yeah, exactly. And the fact that those, like, six months are very intense. Emotionally, mentally, physically, they can be very, very intense. And then you're just like, there's no reason to get up. And so that sometimes you can really fall into, I have no reason to get up. I was, you know, feeling pointless.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's very true. I love new perspectives. That's like one of my favorite things about the podcast is having, like, every time we have a guess on, I like walk away with like a new perspective on something or, you know, I haven't looked at something this way or I learned something. As you started noticing, you know, these, these signs, what did you do to help you get out of it? Like, what was the answer? I mean, for me, like I said, you know, I started making sure I kept myself busy.

I actually got medical help too. I started taking, I think it was well, butrin, you know, because a lot of times things like that have stigma. So, you know, mental health has such a stigma. Oh, it's a weakness when, you know, if you had an acre pain anywhere else, you'd take a pill for it. Yeah. You know, if you had a problem with your thyroid, you'd take a pill for it. Your brain's just another organ in your body that, you know, just happens to run all the other ones. So you need to think about that more. Yeah. So I got the help I needed, you know. And I think. that a lot of times people are scared to ask for that help because again, there's just such a stigma that's perceived as a weakness when asking for help is to me a huge strength. Yeah. Yeah. On the medication now, I actually would love to hear your experience with this. I recently had a full psych eval done and my psychiatrist recommended that I go on ADHD medication.

I read that you've talked about, you know, going off of yours, you felt like you're depression. It wasn't like it got worse, but the medication was almost treating it. So that was actually the same time. Yeah, until you brought that up, I totally forgot about that. So when we were done filming, I wasn't at an office anymore. I wasn't filming. And I'm like, oh, I don't need to take this every day, even though I've been on it my whole life. You know, ever since I was, I think, in like first grade. And so I'm just like, oh, I'm going to, you know, give my body arrest, give my brain a rest. And so I just stopped taking it, which exacerbated my depression.

And when I went into my doctor, because my biological mother has problems with depression, my biological sister does. So it runs in my family. And I had always thought to myself, I don't have that problem. They all have to be medicated. I'm fine. But when I talked to my doctor and I told him, I was like, oh, yeah, I took myself off. And he was like, oh, often Adderall is used to treat depression when nothing else works.

He's like, so you probably have been medicating your depression your whole life. You just didn't realize that you were doing so. Yeah. And I am off of it now, but I did it the right way. And I tapered myself off of it. I was in quarantine for weeks in Canada during COVID waiting to film a show. And I slowly took myself off of it. Yeah.

And now, like, I feel like I don't need it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, because I'm even like sketched out about taking an Advil, which I, I don't, why am I? Because as like a nurse working, I literally gave pills like it was nobody's business. I have no clue why. I'm like that. But I am apprehensive to do it because of like the aftermath. I mean, obviously there's a smart way to do it. Yeah. But I, I think it's, it's a great medicine. Obviously, it's, it's abused by some people. But for me, it's, if I hadn't have had it, like, I really do have ADD, like hardcore. And you. You could tell, like, I'll be painting a room and I'll be painting over here. And I'm like, oh, what am it's going to look like over there?

And I'll go over and I'll paint that corner. And I'm like, ooh, what if it's going to look like over there? And then you look and there's just like all these random spots painted in a room and not one wall is finished. Because I can't concentrate on that one wall before I'm like, oh, the next wall. And I didn't even realize that until one day I actually took a step back and I looked at this room. And I was like, oh, my God, if you could look up the definition of ADD, it would be a picture of this room. And so especially when I was running my retail and my design business every day, I had to have that to focus. Or I would have never been able to be successful at business because

I would not have been able to concentrate on one thing long enough to actually accomplish anything. Yeah. So if you have ADD, if you need that, I am in full supportive. I'm taken it. I think it's great. But like now, I don't have to run the day-to-day detail like that of my company. And so I would rather not beyond something because I don't need that type of focus anymore. You know, there are still moments in life where I'm like, maybe I should take it every day because I'm just like off in another zone. But for me now, I'm just at a point in my life where I'm like, yeah, I don't need to take it. Yeah.

Like it made me very skinny. It really does curb your appetite. Like I would just, I would work all day. Yeah. And I would be like, oh, I didn't need lunch. Wow. You know, and so for me, like I just, I wanted to focus more. I'm working out in fitness.

I have more time now. So I'm like, I actually need calories now. So yeah. Yeah. Our friend is like that. He's on some heavy ADD medication. He like won't have an appetite. But then like at the end of the day when it wears off, it'll get really hungry.

Yeah. The worst time of day to eat. Yeah. It'll be like eight o'clock p.m. He's like, I've had a smoothie and we're like, dude, like you need food. And then he's working out like crazy too. He's doing like two hour workouts. And he has a smoothie all day and eight o'clock hits.

and then all of some, he's starving. Has a lot of pizza and makes it for the calories, basically. Yeah, I know. Yeah, empty calories. So your new book, right at home just came out. So you talk about all things, interior design, and the intersection of home and mental health in your book.

Like, where did that, where did that idea come from? You know, since the show came out, even before that, people have been asking me to do a design book. Yeah. And, you know, design books are great. There's a, you know, there's a need for everything. But doing just like a pretty coffee table book filled with homes that honestly make most people feel inadequate about their own home. You know, and the things that are kind of unattainable wasn't something I wanted to do. And again, I'm not knocking any beautiful coffee table design book.

Everything has its place. There's a need for everything. But for me, I wanted to do something that would actually have. help people understand design and articulate who they were because ultimately your home is like your phone charger. You know, if you don't get yourself plugged in at night, if your home is not fully charging you, you're not going to make it through the next day, just like your phone would make it through the next day if it didn't get fully charged. So I really wanted to help people, A, figure out what makes them tick. You know, and one of the first chapters we talk about,

let's normalize not asking people what their design aesthetic is because it doesn't matter. Yeah. And most people can't articulate that anyways unless they're, it's a thing. done a lot of research into it. It's talking about let's instead ask people what make them happy. Yeah. Because that's what needs to be in your home. You know, I, we had a hero once on the show who had inherited his, his grandmother's home. And it was really cool, funky from the 70s, but not at all the home of a 27 year old bachelor and, you know, the 20 teens. And I, you know, I tried to figure out what he liked design wise. And he just didn't know. Yeah. Didn't, you know, his answers. And even if he did answer something, in my mind, I'd be like, that's bullshit. Like,

that's just something you've heard before. That's not you. You're just giving me the answers you think I want to hear. So instead I learned, I'm like, I asked him what his favorite show was. And he was like, Madman. And I'm like, okay, 50s, mid-century. And I'm like, what's your dream vacation? He's like, oh, Cuba. I'm like, also 50s, you know. Cuba's still very much stuck in the 50s with the cars and the architecture. And so I, I, did his home in mid-century modern and I did this cool mural of Havana and I did some like banana leaf wallpaper in the bathroom and he walks in and he's like, oh my God, this is exactly what I would imagine my home should be like without ever really realizing this is my home should be like everything

in here I just have such an emotional attachment to, which is really weird to me because none of this, this stuff doesn't feel like mine, but it does feel like mine because I have an emotional attachment to you. I don't get it. And I'm like, why I asked you about the things that you're passionate about, the things that make you happy and the things that, you know, excite you and that's what I filled your home with, and that's what everybody should, you know. So the book in the beginning talks about figuring out what kind of makes you tick. And it starts out with asking you're like,

what's your favorite article of clothing? You know, if it's like your worn leather jacket, like you'd probably like some leather accents in the room. Or if it's a chunky sweater, and you'll probably like some like cable knit throws and pillows, you know. So figuring out those little details that you can start from. And then we talk about functionality. We talk about organization, you know,

we talk about dealing with design and ingredients. You know, like I mentioned earlier in my father passing, like I took this book home last week and I sat it on the counter. I wasn't even thinking of it. My mom opened up to that page talking about how, you know, to help somebody move on to where they're still keeping a memory of their loved one, but where it's they're able to process it a little bit more. There is, we have chapters about color theory and lighting and plants and every single chapter also has a room guy. like kids' rooms for organization and a kitchen, like your kitchen should be your souset. You know, your kitchen should be organized in a way where it function. And we talk about how function is the mother of design. Like you first thought about a room is how does it function? How is it going to better my life?

And then, you know, there's this like little stories about teaching people how their space really can affect not only, you know, their space, but their work performance. You know, like making your bed in the morning. you don't really think about that as a huge accomplishment. Oh, I made my bed. I'm so great. But, you know, if you tell yourself you're going to make your bed and you do, you are preconditioning. I don't know if you drive electric cars, but before you go to charge your car, if you put in

the destination of a charger, your battery will say preconditioning for charging. Yep. It's getting your car ready to do it. Great charge. When you do a little accomplishment like that, you're preconditioning your mind to be successful for that day. So you make your bed. By the time you get to work, you're already in that mindset.

of I'm accomplishing the goals I'm setting out to accomplish. When it turn, when you go to walk out the door, you see that bed unmade and you're like, ah, I told myself I was going to do that, but I didn't have time. You've preconditioned your mind to not succeed at the things you want to succeed at. And, you know, and like organizing your medicine cabinet, a cabinet in your, in your bathroom, you've got so many lotions and stuff in there that are expired. You don't use them anymore. And you keep telling yourself, you're going to go through it and get away.

And I mean, I'm guilty of it as well. But you don't, you don't do it. you know, you get this beautiful, amazing new face cream. You've spent way more than you showed on and you, you know, you push it in there and you close the door. And then the next morning, you get up and you open it up and that falls in the sink. And it's glass because you're responsible when you don't buy plastic and it breaks in the sink. And you're just pissed. And so by the time you get down to make breakfast for the kids, they're pissing you off more than they should have. And by the time you get on the road and that person cuts you off, the road rage kicks in and you, and you, you, you,

end up on Twitter for screaming and flipping people off. You know, when if you had just organized medicine cabinet, that wouldn't have happened. Yeah. So, you know, just so many things in your home affect your mental health. Yeah. And I really want people to start thinking about that. Yeah. I mean, you explaining that, I'm so excited to read it because I feel like this past year,

I feel like our lives have gotten like significantly busier. Yeah. And I miss COVID, right? Yeah. Well, you probably don't feel the same of being a COVID nurse. Obviously not totally, but you know, I do miss the priorities we all changed around to where we thought about our mental health more. I think now we're almost back to where we were before where we're putting it on a back burner. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. And now that we're so busy, the like clutter of our house, if there's like a little something, it will like drive me crazy. Yeah. My poor husband deals with the wrath of me. if there's like, he'll like, he's gotten better. He's gotten better. He'll do little things like take, you know, take the trash out but not put a new bag in or like some little clutter things, but. But if he took the trash out, isn't it your responsibility to put the bag in? See, this is the thing though,

is I do all the cleaning and all the laundry. Okay. Nope. No, my bad. Yeah. He cooks, but I do all of the, all of the, everything. My husband and I usually like, whichever one of us takes the trash out, the other one will put the bag in. So we're you. We're using. So we're you. usually both in the same room as it's happening. Yeah. So if I take it back, I come back, it's in. If he takes it out, when he comes back, I've done it. I think that would.

But if you are doing the majority of the cleaning everything else thing, yeah. She's definitely the cleaner. Definitely cleaner. Yeah. But no, I'm definitely back at that point where there's always an unpacked suitcase on the bedroom floor. Yep. Because we're back to traveling again. Yep.

Sadly. Literally, we have three in our room. I think at least three right now. Great. We love that for us. We love that for us. I don't. I hate it. But I'm always now in a perpetual state of either packing or unpacking. Yeah. So you're just like, oh, what's the point? I know. Just leave it there. Take some things out of it. Put some new things in. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. But it's so true. I'm like we're passionate about your home is like your sanctuary. Like it's your safe space. Yeah. And I feel like I haven't felt that ever until this year. Like with all this construction we've been doing, I've like been out of whack like the past. month or two because I like don't have my like quiet clean area yeah to be in so it's very important

yeah which is why I keep postponing doing my own renovation of my own home I mean you're busy you're you're doing other homes that's okay um where can people buy the book and then also you're like going on tour you're doing some like fun stops so you can head to bobbybergtcom and that's b e rk slash book and there's a list of retailers um okay do me a favor support small we love our small booksellers. So before you click on the big guys, give some of those little bookshops a chance. And then I'm starting tour on the, I think, 11th of September. I'll first be in New York, and then I'll be in D.C., and then Kansas City, and then L.A. and San Francisco. And then in early October, I'll be in Chicago, I think San Diego at one point.

Wow. Yeah, we'll link it down below. So, please hang out. That's super exciting. We're going to have to go to somewhere. The LA one will be at Barnes & Noble of the Grove. Okay. Oh, fun. I love that there. Well, this has been great.

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. We're so excited about the book. Yes. For linking the link to get the book. Linking the link. Linking the link. We're linking the link. We're linking it twice.

We're going to find out if it's naughty or nice. Thank you, Bobby. Yes. you so much for squeezing us into your day. Please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube. You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my lovely wife, at Tay Lautner. Check out the squeeze on Instagram at the squeeze. And also give a little glance and a follow to Lemons by Tay. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com. And also be sure to email us, lapner.com, the squeeze podcast at gmail.com.

If you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see, we've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey with those around you and send our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely. Tuddles magoodles, everyone. Mygoodles. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.