The Squeeze - Brandon & Serene: Losing Family and Finding Each Other

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

Like the rest of America, Tay and Taylor instantly feel in love with Paradise couple Brandon and Serene, and knew they needed to have them on the podcast. This week, they join the Lautners to discuss their mental health before and during filming. Brandon talks about his experience hiring for travel nurse recruiting during COVID, and the toll that took on his mental health. He also opens up about losing a very close friend and his grandfather. While he acknowledges that society encourages men to push down and cover up their feelings, he and the Lautners are here to change that narrative. Serene opens up about the loss of her grandma, aunt, and cousin, and why her 1 on 1 date in Galveston brought up so many emotions. Brandon and Serene also touch on the pressure they feel to stay together and what they do when life hands them lemons … which may be different than you think! Be sure to follow Brandon and Serene @bmacjones and @serenebrookrussell  Thanks to our awesome sponsor for making this episode possible:   Farmer's Dog — Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/thesqueeze. Plus, you get FREE shipping  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail].  Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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rice-adviseur or Sunny Cars. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, We talk about it. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Squeeze.

I am your host, Taylor Lautner, joined by my co-host. Taylor Lautner. Very nice. That was beautiful. And joined by our studio dog, none other than Remington, who has a ball and is making lots of sounds right now. She is going crazy. And I'll tell you why she's going crazy, because we had the best night ever with

Brannon and Seratin. I don't know who loved them more. but they're just two of the sweetest, most down-to-earth people. I feel like we had a feeling that we were going to hit it off. Yeah. So we actually scheduled their taping for night so they could come over and we could have dinner and open a bottle of wine and have some fun with them. We just felt like we were going to, you know, bond.

Yeah. That's exactly what happened. Very much. We editing and full transparency. Shout out. Thank you producers. Shout out to our producing team for helping us with that. Because we filmed for probably three hours. At least.

I do think that also had to do with the fact that we had wine and charcutory and we were just like hanging out. Yeah. I do make a mean charcutory. You do make a mean charcuttery. Yeah, we had so much fun. Just talked about, my gosh, I don't, everything under. under the sun, but it was just so easy to talk with them and just get lost in conversation. Yeah, they're such sweet, genuine people. There's no other word to describe them than just like pure, awesome.

Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. They came over at six. They didn't leave till after midnight and we just had way too much fun. We literally recorded until my sound machine, the SD card, that's in there had like 0.25 of a gigabyte left of storage. Yeah. So we just, we just chatted the night away. We sure did. We went from just wine to wine and cheese to Taylor leaving to pick up our Chinese food because the postmates canceled.

And the restaurant was closing and literally called us and they were like, hey, the driver canceled and we have your food and we're 15 minutes past closed. So I end the interview. Taylor was being gracious husband and driving to pick up our dinner that we ate at almost 11 p.m. Yeah. I think what's really cool about this episode with them is we learned so much about them. Like there's so much beneath the surface of what we see of them on The Bachelor franchise, on Instagram.

We really got to just like dive deep into their history and what makes Brandon, Brandon and Serene. And that was really cool because a lot of times. you don't get to see that with people on reality TV or whatever. Yeah. So that was really cool just to learn about them and their hearts and their life. And it's a really tender moment. Yeah, they have beautiful stories. But I feel like they both, you know, even though they were on this massive reality TV show,

I feel like they both are kind of private people. Yeah. And they hold, you know, a lot of that near and dear to their heart. And they definitely were so lucky and honored because it felt like they're really just like opened up. And honestly, I think I could be wrong, but I think it was like the first time they've really done that publicly. So kind of honored that they felt safe enough to do that with us. And the episode also, we dive into their experience in the franchise separately on Bachelorette and Paradise and how those differed, how they had similar experiences when they were. individually on the show, the differences between filming Bachelor, Bachelorette, and filming

Paradise, and kind of how their mental health played a role in both of their seasons and them together. So that was cool to learn. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a little peek behind the curtain. Yeah, can't wait for you guys to listen. So sit back, relax, and enjoy Brandon and Serene. And us having a lot of wine. Was that so fun talking to Brandon and Serene? Yeah? Did you make new best friends? Oh my gosh.

She loved them. You loved them. They were so nice to you. Oh my gosh. I don't know who loved them more. Rum, rem, or me? Rumi's like, um, excuse me? Oh, it was you.

Sorry. You love them most. You love them most. I know. I know. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze with us this evening. We have some very special guest.

We have the king and the queen of paradise. Miss Serene and Mr. Brandon. Woo! I'm very excited about this one. I just want to be honest. We're excited about this one. So I have to tell you guys, when we were watching Paradise, and we were just starting to get the podcast together of having guests on and whatnot,

we're literally watching you guys. And it's probably your date at you, you guys at this table talking. And Taylor and I just like everyone else, we just loved you on the show. what we're literally sitting watching. And Taylor is just like, I just love them. We need to have them on the, we have to have them on the podcast.

Like literally out of nowhere. He's like, we have to have them. And I was like, okay, great, we'll do that. He's like, no. Like, they have to come on. Yeah. Like, he was adamant. So, I love that.

Well, thank you for having us. Thank you for being here. No. No, yeah, like she said, like the rest of America, we instantly fell in love with you guys. and just like the humans that you are. You could just, you know, it's rare on the show

that you can just sense that through the screen. Yeah, like feel the realness. And we just knew instantly, knew. But we were like, those are good people and people that definitely feel like they belong together and just honestly, people that we wanted together. get to know. So I was like, we have to figure it out. Here we are. Here we are. You guys are are making us feel special. I love that. Okay, so we start our episodes out with a little thing

called citrus got real. Okay. Shit just citrus. I love that. This beautiful lemon picture jar has a bunch of random questions in there. Okay. Whichever one of you, feel free to just pull one out. Well, they should do one each, right? Oh, sure. Why not? Let's do it. They're just, very random questions. Okay. They're fun. Love that. So, yeah, do one each? You clean first? They're very large pieces of paper.

It made it, like, easy to grab. Okay. Okay. Yeah. This is the second time you've critiqued. Yeah, I know. Hannah Polter's out, and it was like 12 inches long. I was like, what is on me? I was pressed for time with the scissors. Okay. Anyways. What is your favorite season? What is your favorite season?

Oh, do you want to guess? before I answer. Ooh, I like this. Yeah, I'm going to say fall. Is your favorite season? There we go. Is that? Oh, is that?

Oh. Okay. No, you're really close. I love far. I mean, there's four of them. Super close. Super close. No, I'm a summer girl.

But, you know, I thought you liked seeing the leaves and like all that. I do. It's like summer in Oklahoma goes really long. sometimes and so it's like sometimes I just need that break. So it's like summer is like first verse. Okay. Fall is like a second verse. Okay.

Okay. But not second because it like flip-lops. Summer, it is. Okay. Summer it is. Summer girl. What's your favorite season? We're falls.

I was going to say fall. Yeah. We're both balls. Something about that Chris Berry, you know. Yeah. Hey, look at this one. I like this one. Oh, it's like an origami.

if you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? Typically, I would guess whatever I've seen you watch multiple times, but you're always watching something different. I don't know. Is it like, is it a superhero movie? This is a superhero movie. Because that's all you ever talk about is trying to make me watch like all the movies. She needs to watch the Marvel movies, right? Yeah.

He doesn't like. I'm behind. I'm very behind. It's very daunting. There are so many now. And it's like, am I watching them in the right order? That's true. I was listening to his music today.

Mm. Oh. Listening to his music. Oh, eight mile. Mm-hmm. Easy. Yeah. Okay.

So the GM playlist is like, there we go. Gets me pumped up and then, yeah. Yeah. Understand. Okay. Yeah. I knew that.

That just like slipped my mind. My bad. Slip my mind. Do you have one? I am, I think my comfort watch is the Great Gatsby. And it's because it's my favorite book. And I just love, like, I love how flashy that movie is. I love how they did it.

Yeah. I mean, other ones are like a lot older. But other than that, I watch Star Wars like every Christmas, like the whole. Oh, wow. Yeah, the whole set. That's how we fell in love. Just like that. Just like that.

Just like that. My mom is obsessed with Star Wars. Oh, really? I love it as I mean I do a lot of books Blended in stuff now? Yeah, no I do like movies that come from books I feel like especially when you

When you read it and then they cast it really well But then you can go back and read it and imagine the characters that you watched Yeah It's like watching a movie the second time Yeah Did you reread the Twilight books? Oh, I definitely did I did too

I was going to say you got to let them know. She's like, no, I hated the cast, so I did. Yeah, she's like, the books were good, the movies. The casting, not so much. I'm just kidding. Love you. Appreciate it. I thought you did great. Thank you. I thought you did good.

Thank you. Okay, so diving into what the squeeze is all about, which is mental health. Before we get into the show in both of your journeys, you know, your separate,

seasons and then your season, you know, where you met each other. I was just curious, before all of that, like, how would you say both of your mental health was, even before going into that chapter of life? Just the normal Brandon Serene. My mental health was good before it. I just knew, so I was, you know, traveling nurse recruiting. Yeah. And so, you know, You know, with the whole COVID going on and everything and seeing what the nurses went through and being a part of that and feeling like, you know, hiring them for the job. Yeah. Seeing what they went through and knowing like they're struggling as well, but they're doing their best,

take care of the people because they put others first. I'm a very empathetic person. And so my mental health was good, but I also struggled with the job, knowing that they're doing something that they have never prepared for that no one in the world prepared for. And then knowing that I'm the one who put them in that position, kind of struggled with that a little bit. My mental health was good, but I just knew, like, maybe I was meant for something different than this. Maybe being an empathetic person, like, I did want to make a change, but I didn't think, like, maybe this was it. Yeah.

And so it was a blessing that, like, that led up. And I knew my life was going to be weird, you know, and it was going to be different than other people's and stuff like that. So I think, you know, that was the only, I think, struggle that I went through. Yeah. Was just knowing that I put them in that position. Plus side, the beautiful side of it is like they were helping the people who got this new disease that attacked the whole world. And, you know, they were the ones like, hey, I want to be in the front line, like helping these people and doing that. So, yeah.

But there was a part of you that kind of just felt that, like, weight. Yeah, because, you know, you're putting nurses in that. And, like, you know, you have all this, you know, PPE gear and, like, protective gear and all that. Yeah. But also, like, you could still get COVID. You know what I mean? It's like. That's so interesting.

Like, from that angle, like, you're literally like, here's this job. Here you go. I already know what these others. Hundreds of nurses have said about it. But here you go. Yeah. That's so interesting. So.

Wow. Yeah. New perspective. It was good, but I think that was the only thing that I struggled with before the show, which, you know, just that and just knowing that. So something, as you guys know, that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals. And as a couple, has been therapy.

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It's too long of a drive. No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work. And it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah. And it'll just keep you accountable too.

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Other exclusions may apply. See C-Sype for details. Get going on that therapy. The most recent one was losing my best friend. It was probably like a year before I went on the show that it all happened. So he just moved back home and he was going to be a part of his dad's business and like realtor being a realtor and all that. And we right out of college, we met and we worked at Enterprise.

running car. And so working there was a little bit different. It was, it was, we were working there for 13 hours a day, like six days a week. Like, we were the only staff pretty much. It was just me and him, ride or dies, and we hung out all the time, did everything together. And we did that for a while, a while. And then he let me know, like, hey, like, I got a dog after his dog. So we had matching dogs, and they were both English bulldogs. And this was a girl. Mine was a boy. We were, you know, pretending like, hey, they're going to be, you know, husband and wife, you know, dogs and all that. And, yeah, so he moved back home to Maryland. We, you know, we still kept in touch.

His brother stayed behind. And so I was hanging out with his brother. And, you know, it was that weird time in my life where I was like, you know what? I'm going to be a rapper. I'm going to be a rapper with you. Like, his brother, you know, was making music. And I never made music in my life. But I was like, yeah.

I'm going to be a rapper with you. This is what I'm going to do. And, you know, just connect with them and stuff. And then his brother actually ended up going back home to be a part of the realtor business as well, too. So, you know, we're just keeping communication. And I ended up going to see some of my friends at work. And I got on my phone. And it was his brother, you know, kind of posting.

He was like, I'm devastated. Like, can't believe this happened. He's gone too soon. Things like that. And so I was like, okay. Like, you know, I'm going to check up with me. Make sure you're good. Yeah.

called him up. I was like, hey, you know, I saw this like, are you good? He's like, are you by yourself? And I was like, this is the second time I heard this. So this was kind of tying later, but I was like, he was like, are you by yourself? And I was like, kind of walked out to my car. And he was like, John passed away last night. I was like, it didn't really hit me. I was like, you know, how do you pass away? And he's like, he's like, did you hear what I said? I was like, yeah, he passed away. And then me, I guess my brain just said, oh, he just, you know, he's just passed out

or passed out somewhere or something like that. He's okay, he's in the hospital. But, like, he's like, no, he passed away. Like, he's gone. And that hit me. And, like, mental health instantly took a tank, cried in my car, like, bowling my eyes out. And he was like, yeah, like,

I'm not going to get into it, but just like he took something that ended up, you know, taking his life. Yeah. That day. And then he told me the whole story behind it, but just literally mental health took a tank right there. Just like, you know, you don't know how to deal with that. Because I just like, I saw it.

And I was like, I didn't think the worst case scenario. And then my brain telling me like, oh, he's just, you know, in the hospital, he's fine. But like, this is what happened. And then, yeah. And then my friend from work saw me leave, like kind of devastated or quickly. Yeah. And so he came out, check on me and just found me in the car. I just cried there pretty much for like 30 minutes.

And then, you know, that's, that's something that, like, I dealt with before. And I was with my grandpa, I was tying it in. But, like, that was something before was just, like, it was just like, it was just like, someone's so close to me, so young. Yeah. And their life was just taking like that. Because, you know, we all grow up and we're like, hey, I'm going to live forever. Yeah. I'm going to live until I'm, like, 80, 90 years old.

And he was only 27 at the time. So it was like, it was like, dang, like, just like that. Yeah. crazy life taken away and so that was a hard pill for me to swallow because this whole notion of like hey i'm gonna live i'm gonna live till i'm 80 and then knowing someone who's super close to you and who you cared about more than anything yeah just like gone like that at 27 and i'm like 25 at the time dang like life is short like it just everything hit me at once everything crashed like everything i thought i believed it and everything like just crashed and so

You know, I went out and flew out the funeral. Me and his brother just hugged and cried at the funeral. And like, it was actually kind of beautiful because death is such like a tragic part. But it's also a part of life. And the only beautiful thing that I saw in it that like really like made me feel better was that it brought all these people who cared about this one human. And you all start loving each other. Yeah. Just because this one human brought all you guys together.

So I ended up making new friends, new people I met in Maryland that I'd never meet, you know, in my life and kind of became a part of that family. And, you know, and then the Kings, that's the last time, accepting me as, like, their own and stuff like that. And so, you know, I pray for them every day. And, like, because lose your son. And, like, you never want to, you want to die before your kids that. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. So that's what happened in my mental health.

And, you know, I just, like, at that point, you know, being a man in society, you got to be strong. And like you got to hold back your tears and like you got to like kind of push it down. And so like dealing with that was a little bit of a struggle. Yeah. But I realized like, you know, his brother's probably going through it worse and like his mom and his dad and everyone like is hitting harder because that's like their own kin. You know? And so yeah.

So I think that was a part of my life where like boom like that was the second part where it was like dang like got hit crazy and my mental health took a plunge and, you know, figuring out how to. deal with that. Yeah, it puts things in a perspective for you. Yeah, especially when they're that young too. Yeah. It's like you had so much life ahead of you. Like, this was only supposed to be like a, you know,

a third or a quarter or whatever. Yeah. So, yeah, that was just like a huge reality check. And that's when I knew like that's why traveling nurse. It kind of turned into traveling nursing. And like, I want to help people who are sick or help people who need it or

help people. And that's when I started looking at traveling nursing and I realized like, okay, I'm putting people in dangerous positions with this COVID that I know nothing about, but all it here is it's killing like hundreds of thousands of people across the United States. And I'm putting these nurses in position. I'm also putting them in that position because they've chosen to be in that position to help other people. Yeah, helping safe lives. Yeah. I think that was that was, that was a second time. So the first one was my grandpa. And that,

that was the biggest one. That was the biggest, like, you know, the first death. Rocked your world. Rocked my world. Absolutely. Me, my grandpa were close. And he was the funniest guy I think I've ever met. And I was just starting college, so it was a little bit different. This was September, I believe. It was September or November.

I can't, like, you know, that part of my brain kind of blocked out. Kind of like all. But it was just pretty much the beginning of the school year. I get a call from my mom. And this was the first time when I heard. So she called me and she was like, are you alone? And that was the first time I heard those words. And so it was a trigger next time I heard you like, are you alone? Because, yeah.

And so it was the first time I was like, you know, I mean, I can be. So I went up to my room and I was like, yeah, I'm alone. Like, what's up? She's like, you know, kind of like teary-eyed in her voice. And I can tell like, it was the biggest. thing is like when my mom cries, I start crying immediately. Yeah. Like no one else.

If I see someone else cry, I'm just, you know. Yeah. But if I, yeah. So I can hear her voice and I start like getting nervous and anxious and everything like that. And then I'm like, yeah, what's going on? Like, are you okay? Is I like, are you dad cool? Like, does something happen?

She's like, I just want to let you know, like, I had to take time on how to tell you this. Yeah. Your grandpa fell off a ladder. because my grandpa was mobile. This man was doing it all. Like, he, yeah. And he's like, fell off a ladder, cracked his head, bled a lot. He's in the hospital.

He's kind of unresponsive right now. He's not talking. I just want to let you know, like, it's not looking good. And so I start crying, you know, like, I was like, no, like this can't happen. Like, man's only like 70 years old. I was like, man, he had so much life. He was, you know, again, mobile.

Like, this man was moving. Man was moving. He wasn't in a wheelchair or anything like that. like man was going. Yeah. Called my mom. All my sisters were at the hospital with them. He just woken up out of, uh, I waited the next day.

So I stayed up 24 hours and just like waited until he woke up. And then my mom texted me. It was like, she texted me. She was like, hey, he's awake. And so I was like, perfect. I'm gonna call you. All her sisters were there. And some of my aunts, some of my cousins were there too.

My mom wouldn't let me go. Okay. She didn't want me to have my last memory of my grandpa like that. if it was the last memory but she didn't know, yeah. And I was like, put me on speaker phone and it was everyone. And, you know,

she was like, hey, he's unresponsive. He hasn't been saying anything, doing anything. So I was like, cool. I don't care. I hopped on the phone. And I was like, hey, big guy, like, it's your short of year. Like, I love you too much

to have you pass away now and all that. You know, this is how, this was our relationship, like, joking around. I was like, bro, like, I'm letting you know, like, that's a little disrespectful. Like,

you're gonna fall off a ladder now. Like, man, I just told him like how much I love him. I'm missing him. And I was like, like, I know you're gonna pull through. Like,

you're gonna be strong. Like, I'll see you tomorrow. Like, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you. Like, it doesn't matter,

but I'll see you. Uh, all my aunts and you know, I can hear all my aunts crying. And my mom crying. She was like, that was beautiful, whatever.

Hung up, started crying myself. And my mom called me 30 minutes an hour later. And she was like, you grandpa's responsive. he's up, he's talking, that phone call changed everything. Wow.

The nurses came in, they're like, his brain is like, his starting activity. Like, after that phone call, everything changed. And my mom was like, I think he's going to pull through. Like, I think he's going to pull through, like, your phone call, what you did. I've never seen, he has not been like this at all. And then he was just responsive. Like, he started trying to talk. He started trying to laugh.

He started doing all of it. He started trying to ask. for me. And like, like, he tried, he just tried. And, like, it was crazy. Wow. That's when my hope just went through the roof. Yeah. Yeah. Next day, get a phone call. He passed away. Wow. And then that was my first mental health. Yeah. Boom. Straight down. Yeah. Thought he was pulling through that. That I lost it all. Yeah. That's when, like, yeah, my mental health just, like, crashed. Yeah. We say that because I've lost both of my grandpas. And Taylor still has all of his grandparents a lot.

Like he's never really experienced like a family death. Before so, we we do as morbid as it sounds. But like it's true. Like you don't, you don't understand grief. You can understand aspects of it, but you don't understand it until you like are physically feeling it. So it's a different viewpoint for sure. And it was it was a weird because it was like I wanted to go to my parents. but it was my mom's dad too.

So it was like, I can't really go to my parents because they're dealing with it. So how do you handle it on your own? And, you know, society's telling me you got to push it down. Yeah. And like covered it up or do whatever. And so I tried, but like every time I kept eating at me and eating at me and eating at me until one day just like I broke. And I was in the middle of class and I just like ran out and just walked out casual once I stepped out the door. just broke down. And so

that was probably like one of the tough issues because like I just it was a beautiful thing that like I got to speak to him and somehow he just somehow became responsive and that like changed everything and he heard what I said.

Yeah for sure. And like that. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you know to have that hope and have it ripped away from you. It was like, yeah. And then you know you go on the bachelor's right. You get to the end. You think you're going to be with someone and have that hope and have it ripped away from you again. So it's like everything happens for a reason because then I wouldn't be here next to the most amazing woman in my entire life, right? So I love what you said about with your friend's passing. I have a similar story. I lost a good

friend of mine at 20. But it was from a high school friend of mine and he had gone off to college and he had passed away and suddenly he struggled with some mental health stuff. And, took his life and it was very shocking to all of us. But when they had his funeral, it was all of our high school. Everyone like came together and it was like some people were friends, some weren't, whatever. But like when we came together for like his funeral, it was like we were one. Like everyone was one. And I feel like there is such, but you said that's such a beautiful thing. Death is horrible and it's hard and it's such a hard thing to process and understand. But like the beauty that comes out of it of like forming community, forming relationships, bringing people

together. That person's life bringing so many people together. Yeah. We've kind of come to the realization, or at least I have that all of my mental health introductions, but I guess like meetings, however you want to call it before I actually struggle with mental health, was all with males. And I just, I love hearing you talk about how you were feeling and how you went through things because I like men need to talk about it more because like they don't need to be.

We kind of grow up and then we're like, hey, you just push that down. Yeah. Yeah, like me, I've never seen my dad cry ever in my life. So it's like, you know, he's probably doing the same thing. And then just kind of learn from that and hear from society. Like, that's what you do, right? So you just kind of push it down and you move on because that's what men do. Yeah.

Yeah. Now we've become passionate about changing that narrative. Yeah. That's awesome. He and I actually really bonded over some of our past experience. And my loss that I've gone through in life kind of ties into the show a little bit with how it affected me in a different way. In 2019, my grandma passed away. And it was so unexpected.

She had just had an exam like a year prior. And they were like, wow, she's so healthy for her age. and got something that seemed like a cold. And I remember my mom saying, like, oh, she just has a cold. And to my mom, that's her mom. Like, she has superpowers. And I remember looking at my mom and being like, she's been sick for like a couple weeks.

Like, we should maybe check into it. And my mom ended up taking her to a hospital. And we found out that she had had a heart attack. And only like 20% of her heart was working. but because she's a woman, her heart attack, like, presented differently. And it seemed like, I mean, there were just things that she was masking that we didn't know about. And so that was a lot. And it was kind of, it was right before COVID.

So it was like in 2019. And I was like assistant managing a boutique. I was like working two jobs and full time in college. And so I didn't have a lot of time for my family. And so whenever I first found out about that, I remember being at work and being like, wow, okay, this woman is never sick. So I need to like take the time and go to the hospital. And I remember sitting there at the hospital with her and not thinking it was that big of a deal because by the time I had gotten there, they had placed a stint. They said she's going to be okay. She'll be on baby aspirin the rest of her life. But like she's fine. And I remember thinking it was so crazy just because, you know, we had gone to see. movie and she like walked all the way to the top of this giant like movie theater auditorium perfectly fine and just she'd been masking so much and so i remember that night it was me my mom one of my aunts and you know my brothers and my family is just not very emotional like openly

and so we were all just like coping with it like quietly like oh hey we're just like all hanging out in this hospital room together and my grandma's really like strong but I remember at the end of that night she like clutched me and my brother like clutched our wrist this like a little old lady like really strong and she looked this in her eyes and was like I just love you guys so much and she never really said that like we always knew that she loved us but she just wasn't very comfortable like saying things like that I guess and I remember wondering if I should go to work the next day but like my whole family was there all day and they're like oh she's doing great numbers are incredible like

you know, she's only in the ICU because they just don't have somewhere else to put her right now. And we were told that she was going to leave the ICU that night. And she ended up passing away while I was at work. And I had decided to stay at work because they were like, oh, it's not a big deal. And so I just remember kind of being in shock, but I went into autopilot. And I remember my boss at the time, the owner of our boutique, like, talked me into letting her drive me into the hospital. because I was like, no, I can just drive. And she was like, there's no way. And so I kind of went into that because I couldn't imagine like what my mom was feeling because she felt a lot of like a lot more shock just because she thought maybe she had a cold or like didn't realize like the severity of it. And so that was like the first like major thing that kind of rocked my world and turned it upside down. And I just remember being so regretful that I had prioritized work. Like, I was paying to put myself through college. And so I was working so much, you know, showing up to birthday parties and things like, you know, towards the end or like missing people all together. And so that was really hard for me. Two years later, I ended up losing an aunt and a cousin. And my cousin was a year younger than me. We grew up like sisters. I never had like a little sister growing up. I have one now, but I didn't have a sister growing up. And she was that for me.

And so just like a lot of loss in my family, like within a couple years going from not knowing any loss at all to like almost being like, oh, here we go again. Yeah. Like kind of getting comfortable with it in a weird way. For me, when I lost my cousin, that was actually in June of 2021. And I went on the show. I think I left in September. So it was really close, but I remember getting the opportunity, getting nominated, and being like, okay, I have this weird opportunity to see the world. And she'd probably think I was crazy for this, but like I want to do things that maybe I would have never done before and just live life to the fullest. And I had such an emphasis on family after that because my grandma did not die with like a husband or anything like that, but she died with all of these people around her. Like she became like a matriarch of this family with all. all of these people that loved her so much. And so for me, like, just being a college student

that was, you know, working their way through college and just kind of on autopilot, it made me realize, like, how much family mattered to me and how much I wanted a family of my own. Yeah. And so that was kind of another reason. I was like, why am I getting this weird opportunity to go on the show? And so I really had, you know, going back to my grandma, it was really hard because my mom took that loss so hard. And then a year later, her big sister passed away. And so I felt like I didn't really deal with a lot of it in real time as it was happening just because it was so hard on my mom.

And seeing like the strongest person I knew, like me having, like feeling like I had to be strong for her, even though like that wasn't the case. I just felt called or like the need to do that. Yeah. And I had never seen or dealt with loss. before. So I didn't really know like what I was doing, but it kind of all hit me after, probably like six months after she passed. It really started to hit me. And I would have like bad dreams about it and think about it a lot. And ended up seeing a therapist like at my

college campus like just to deal with that because it was starting to seep into like every area of my life. Took a semester off of school to just really deal with those things. And so when I went on the show, I had dealt with that. But with my cousin passing and her being so young, it was more of like, we grew up so close together that it was like, I want to live for her. Like, I want to do things that, you know, she would have never, you know, she didn't really ever even, even like, leave our state. I, like, went to a concert at Red Rocks, like, right before I went to the show. And I remember, like, feeling like, wow. I'm glad that I'm making sure I'm doing these things because she wouldn't want me to just sit around and be sad.

Yeah. You know, making sure that I continued to live my life, but also in a way that, like, honored her in knowing that she wouldn't want me to kind of shut down. And so I ended up going on the show and whirlwind, you know, it was a really great opportunity, really cool. and then you start really getting deep. And I ended up talking about all this loss on a one-on-one of mine because it was like in a correlating city. And so my grandma, like, never went on vacation. Like, she was always watching somebody's child

or watching, like, one of the great grandkids or never doing anything fun. Right before she passed, we had agreed to go on a family vacation. And we had tried to get her to go so many times to get all this stuff. in and she just never would. And the one time I said no, she ended up going. And my mom's like sending me all these like funny pictures of my grandma like standing in the ocean with like all her clothes on because she wouldn't wear a bathing suit. Like just like really like happy like seeing her like get out of her comfort zone and stuff.

And I ended up missing that because of work. And the next year she wasn't there anymore. And when I ended up going on the show, they were like, oh, we're going to go on this like worldwide journey and it's going to be so cool. You're going to Houston, Texas. Oh my gosh. And I was like, geez, you guys are going to dump me because I'm in Oklahoma and you can just like dump me off easily there. So fun. I'm not going to be able to show much longer. So we end up going to Houston, Texas. I get a one-on-one day in Galveston, which is where my family had vacationed at a pier that my family spent time on in, you know, theme park and all this stuff. And they had no idea.

I didn't put any of this in my, like, paperwork, my interviews. Like, it wasn't on social media. There's no way they knew. And so I had on the show, like, I started to kind of get choked up, like, with the recent passing of my cousin and then being in, like, Galveston on this show, thinking about, like, the loss of my grandma. It was kind of a lot. And so I talked about it because I didn't want it to be like, oh, why she being weird this

week? Yeah. But when I did that, I received so much hate online because it was like, why do these people go on these dates and trauma dump? Like, why do they go on these dates and do this and do that? Oh, my gosh. And it was like, I was just sharing like this experience that is like part of why I'm here. It's part of like how I look at life and why I take these crazy chances and like why I want

a family so bad and all of these things. And so my mental health before the. show like that was that was super recently right before I went on bachelor and so I had really tried my best to work through you know what I could with the therapist that I had seen at my college but you know with my cousin that was part of what like pushed me to do that and so it was like a it was like a good experience and I was in a good place when I went there but it kind of like like watching it back It was like, oh, God, why did I do that? I think at the same time, it was an incredible experience to talk about it because I'd never

spoken about it before. It wasn't that no one asked, but it was like I had to do so much deep diving into myself to feel comfortable even explaining those things. And so it was really kind of therapeutic to do in that situation too, which is, it's kind weird, but people, I don't think people realize, like, how much. There's a lot. There's a lot that goes into it. And, you know, you might not see the reason, like, why people feel comfortable saying these things. It's, like, a promise. Like, people aren't, like, trying to, like, trauma bond with someone they just met, like. Also, you're about to spend the rest of your life. Yeah, it's like,

I got to tell you, like, this one of the way. Yeah. And also, it was like, I don't want to seem, like, like, I want to be 100% transparent. And that's how I am and everything. I do and you know that's what I was going through and working through at that moment and so I just I wanted to be true to myself and true to my feelings and like use what I had learned in therapy and not like shove it down and try to be strong and you know try not to be emotional because that was something that I struggled with in the past and so it all kind of ties together a little bit for me well that's wild that that happened to be in the same place yeah I you You want to talk about being real, whether there was cameras in front of your face or not,

if you were on a date with somebody with that full circle moment, which is crazy. Of course you would talk about it. Absolutely. And they don't tell you where you're going. That's unbelievable. We were in Houston, and I remember, like, they do this thing where they're like, hey, you got, like, where do you think you're going? Everybody's like, or in Houston, like, she's going to go on an astronaut date.

And so I'm like, get in a car. I have no idea where I'm going. and I start recognizing where I'm at and I'm like are they taking like and you know I'm going on this date with someone that you know

I'm excited about and really like and I've had really great you know deep conversations with up until this point and he's like have you ever been here before and I'm like

you're like I don't want to talk about it I was like guys actually have been here before and I don't think they're expecting I don't think he was expecting or anyone was expecting like any of that and

all actuality, like it was kind of a God thing because I maybe didn't realize how much I hadn't processed some of it, even though I felt like, okay, like I did the work and I did this and did that. And then I'm like brought to this place that, I don't know, it was. You have to deal with it right there. What were the odds? But yeah, I feel like it was also really healing for that reason. For sure. And I mean, on top of that, we were just talking with another guest.

Not that the show puts you to your breaking point. That's not what I'm trying to say. the days are long, you're like, it's emotional. It's tiring. And it's when you start to kind of like get to that state one year brain just is like what is happening. All these things are processing. But also all the producers are like checking in on you. How are you doing? How is this? You're starting to open up and like start to feel things and like the feelings are there. Everything's there. I don't know. They're like video diaries. No, absolutely. You sometimes forget you're even talking to someone. It's like very theory. It's literally like a video diary. And it's like it's crazy how quickly and how much you can get to know somebody without all the distractions. Yeah. When you don't have a phone, when you don't have the TV distract you, when you don't have your job or anything like that. Yeah.

You're just there. You're just there. And it's like I'm just here to focus on me and you. It's like, that's when people are like, oh. Yeah. I don't think you guys could work like that. like I could never do that. It's only, it's only been like two months.

Like how do you do that? It's like, well, two months. Yeah. It's like two years. Yeah. A lot of dedicated time. Yeah. You're hot and cranky in Mexico.

And I'm like, it's humid. My hair looks in us. You saw me a little worse. You saw me a little worse. You know what I look like when I'm like, we got their fat. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why. Not so many, but like, you know.

more of like the paradise relationships work is because like they put you through that and you get to like see all their sides. It's like it's bulletproof. Let's touch on your guys's time on the show separately, Bachelor, Bachelorette and then coming to Paradise, how obviously you guys had different experiences on the show separately. One of you left in tears. The other didn't have tears to put it bluntly. but it all led you right here on this couch and that's all that matters. But let's back up. Yeah.

So to your, because you were first on, Bachelor. I was first. Yeah. And isn't that kind of weird? You would think that I'd be the one to leave with no tears. Yeah. I don't know about that one. Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, my experience on the Bachelorette, was, you know, you're just kind of thrown into it. And, you know, you don't really know what's going to go on. I mean, you're very excited, you know, you're very excited to be on TV. You're very excited to be in the moment. You're very excited to possibly be your future. For sure. And so before I went on the show, what I wanted to do is I kind of got a notebook and

wanting to put out like if I don't end up with this person, what are all the positives I think I could get out of it. Oh, wow. It's a great way to think about it. Yeah. And I had one con and I was going home the first night because I'd be afraid that I wouldn't even get a chance to kind of like show myself. And then you're just kind of like, okay, well, I'm cut. But that's how I put it as like, okay, you know what?

I can make lifelong friends with these people, you know, if I stayed on with the guys. Because, you know, it's 30 guys to one girl. Yeah. So the odds of it are not great. Not great. not great. And, you know, speaking on mental health is like, if I'm going to get the best positive experience out of this and if I'm going to get, my biggest thing is I didn't want to walk out with like a what if, ah, man, what if I did this? Oh, man, what if I did that? Would this

have changed? Oh, man, what have? And so, you know, going to the end and then leaving in tears, that was the one thing that, you know, kind of saved me or that I was able to move on much better was because I took that time at the beginning. And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to give it my all. I'm going to do everything that Brandon would do and, you know, go above and beyond because I didn't want to ask myself, what if later in life? Yeah. Like, man, like, what if I did this? Would I have changed it?

So that's why you see me on The Bachelorette. I do things that no other guy does is because I was just being me. But I took it. I think I was just kind of. a different mindset. Like, I knew what I wanted. I wanted a family. I wanted a fiance at that point. I wanted a wife. I was at a point in my life where this is exactly where I needed to be. So I was like, all right, I could have lifelong friends. Boom. I have lifelong friends from it. I, and then I thought, okay, you know, I can do something that is out of my comfort zone and that I will grow from. And so

being on the Bachelorette, my mental health was great, like great. Like, like, great. Like, Because I did that list. Because I was like, you know what? What I'm realizing is that she can never be with me fully if she doesn't experience every other person here and realize I don't want any of them, I want you. Yeah. And this is what I'm here to do is like, this is her time. And it will be our time later. but I have to realize like, hey, this is her time.

She needs to experience this. Otherwise, she won't never be with me. If she just brushed off every other guy was with me, then she'd be the one asking later, what if. Yeah. Right. So I'm at an amazing outlook. That's, I can't say I would be able to do the same in your shoes.

Yeah. I mean, it's an amazing outlook. I'm telling you, when I walked down, I was, you know, still am. I'm trying to grow it out. But like baby face. Looked like I was 17. Everyone told me, you know, my producer came and was like, dude, bro.

Like, me and my producer are super close now, but like, he was like, hey, bro, you look like a baby, right? I walked down, he's a grown man, like NFL players. You know, I met Nate, he's 6-8. I'm, you know, in Oregon, I'm 6-1, 6-2, so I'm like kind of tall. Yeah. I'm like, good, right? No, everyone was above 6' foot, 6-8,

playing 6-5, like, um, wits, I think he went home the first night, but he, he's, you know, six, six, like, NFL player, like, I'm telling you, like, I was like, I'm going home the first night. Wow. He has grown men here and there's no way. And so, I would have been really out of place. Yeah. I'm telling you, I was out of place.

I was, I was out of place. But I was like, hey, this is like, this is out of my comfort zone. This is something that I have to do, right? So this I'm going to have to do to grow. This is a beautiful opportunity. I don't know how it's going to go. I have no control over that. The only thing I have control over is like, hey, give my all, do it.

So I was in a great headspace. I love that. Best time. Made all these friends, still friends to this day. I call every day, text every day, talk to every day. Lean up to it just like all the way. I think it's once you get to fantasy suites, that's when things get like real. And it's like you can be boys.

with everybody. Yeah. But then once you get a fantasy suites, that's when it gets real. It's not because of what people think happen at fantasy sweets, but I think it's because, like, that's when you make the connection off camera. Yeah. And that's when it's like, this is a real me. I can tell you all the real stuff.

Like, you know, I want to dive in more about Johnny, my friend who passed away. I want to dive in more about my grandpa. I want to dive in more about things that maybe I haven't shared because, like, I'm either scared to or like I just don't feel like I need to share that with the world. And I would share it with you because I could see myself being with you now out of 30 people, one of the three here. And then, yeah, connect with you. And then you can connect with me on the stuff that you've been trying to share with the world or haven't wanted to share with the world, but you want to share with your future person. Yeah.

And so I think that's when it got like real. And then that's kind of when your mental health, jogs itself. a little bit because it's like it's fun it's a fun time like you know you're falling in love you're doing all these crazy things that you never would have experience of and then you get to the three and you realize that you're in a hotel room by yourself and you don't go out with guys laughing in the hallway or you don't go into this huge group room where you're doing activities together yeah it's just like you and it's like okay wow like i went from thinking i was going home the first night to being here. Yeah. Falling in love. Dang, now I'm in love. What do I do next? I think the biggest

thing was not having control, like not having any control in it whatsoever. It's just you got to be yourself. And if you don't get chosen, what does that do to you? Like, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't this. I wasn't that. So I think it's like once you get there, that's when your mental health kind of like starts. I didn't think I would get there. I think that's my problem is like I didn't have the confidence in myself to where I thought like I would get there. Like I had confidence in myself, but like, you know, 30 of the most good looking at that environment. In that environment. Completely.

Exactly. Just not normal. Exactly. And so just thinking like, dang, like out of some of the best looking men I've ever seen in my entire life. Yeah. She wants me here still. Yeah. I was like, I can see myself in this family.

I think that's where my mental health kind of took a toll when I didn't get chosen. It was because, like, I thought I was going to be there. Yeah. And so, I mean, she made the best decision for her and everything worked out perfectly, how it was supposed to work out because I was never, I was never supposed to be the one chosen. Like, everything worked out. Yeah. Like, I was never supposed to be one chosen. You know, I wasn't her person.

She knew that. She knew that this was her person at the time. And, you know, she made that decision. And, you know, if I could go back in time and talk to myself, I think I would just tell myself, like, yo, like, I'm telling you, like, it's not your time to celebrate. And so I realized, like, going on paradise, you know, that's my time to celebrate. Like, this was a woman I'm supposed to be with. This was a woman that led me there.

Like, I had to go through this in order to get to that. Because if I never was on the Bachelorette, I could never be on Paradise with her. Yeah. Right? Yeah. She would have ended up with someone else or she would have been with someone else. because, you know, she's an amazing woman. So, I mean, come on now.

Come on, no. So, but yeah, so just Bachelorette, like, that was my experience. It was super fun. Don't regret a thing. I think, you know, Michelle was a great bachelorette. She did everything great. It's just at that end, I wish, you know, I was, my future self was there. Just let him know, like, not tell myself too much.

But just be like, it's not your time to celebrate. I promise you you're going to celebrate. Yeah. There's something. greater out there for you. Yeah. So that was my time. Wow. That's beautiful. I took the steps and, yeah.

We talk all the time that it's going through, I mean, this is simple to say, but it's just so true that it takes going through stuff like that. It takes sometimes meeting people and experiencing those relationships to make you fully understand and appreciate and love the person that you wind up with. And I don't, you know, I don't think I would have the appreciation and insane love that I do for you if I didn't go through anything before, you know? Absolutely. I'm sure you feel the same.

You guys are about to make me cry. I didn't know that I can love someone that much. until I went through that and then I met her and I loved even more than that. And I realized like I was ready then. I'm even more ready now. I would love to hear about your time. Okay. Yeah.

Different different experience for sure. I'm kind of known as the girl that like went out stone faced and didn't cry. And you know, it wasn't because I didn't care and it wasn't because I didn't care. and it wasn't because I was angry. It was because I was shocked. Okay. And didn't know how to react. Okay.

So obviously I was able to break down walls that I didn't know I had with that person very quickly and just able to get comfortable having conversations that like, I don't know, I just felt really comfortable. And that was something I hadn't felt. so easily before. And so going up to like hometowns, I actually felt really good. I had never really like, I don't know, it was like I was really trusting of like the relationship and like the connection that I felt. And so for me, and it's tough because you don't get to see all of that stuff. Yeah. And it was, it was really tough for my ego too, that, you know, that.

a lot of that didn't get seen just because there were more important things happening on the show at the time. But, you know, I got sent home after my hometown date. So I made it through my date and got sent home at the next row ceremony. And I was so, so shocked that, like, I was sent home. I just didn't expect it. And, you know, I was one of those people that, like, I kind of coasted through. the experience and like nothing anyone said bothered me hearing about like other connections or anything just because like I felt so sure. And so it was like a really tough pill to swallow when I got sent home. I was just completely shocked. Like I was so shocked like I was stunned. Well, I didn't know what to say. So I know it like reads on TV that like I didn't care that I was pissed. But like I was so stunned that it was like.

I didn't, I don't know, I didn't have time to process it. And then like as I started to, you know, as I was being walked out, it was just like, okay, like you sending me home right now with three other people in the room is everything I need to know. Like, and that was kind of, I just like took it at face value. You know, going home, I was really shocked. My family was shocked to see me back so soon. Oh my gosh. I literally flew from Oklahoma City to L.A.

and then right back to Oklahoma City. And it was just really hard coming home and explaining something, like when it went so well, like nothing went wrong. But there was just someone else. And it was always destined to be, you know, one of the other girls. And I was just so caught up that I didn't realize, you know, I wasn't watching the other relationships because I didn't care. Like I was so focused on not, like, losing track of, you know, my own relationship.

And coming out of it was really, it was really tough. I think ultimately realizing, like, I needed to be chosen by someone that, like, didn't have a doubt in the world. And, you know, while I said all the same things, like, you know, I want him to explore all these relationships. Like, I want to be chosen. I want to be chosen. I don't want, you know, him to have any doubt. And I left without any doubt. like I laid my heart out there.

And that was really hard for me to do. Like I said, I come from a family that is not super emotional. It's not like my first nature. And I've actually learned, you know, from the show that I am a deeply emotional person. And I am actually really in tune with my emotions now. He giggles. But I think that's like kind of the difference you see between Bachelor Serene and Serene on Paradise. that I felt so strongly about this person that was the wrong person,

what could the right person feel like? Wow. And so that was kind of what got me through, you know, just realizing, okay, like, that wasn't for me. And it doesn't mean, like, I didn't love him. You know, I told him I, like, fell in love with him. I told him I was falling in love, in love, like, you know, and I meant those things with what I had at the time.

But like going home and coming out of it, like there was always someone that was meant for him and it wasn't me. And he also was not meant for me. And at the end of the day, it just like taught me about my capacity to love in a way that I didn't realize before. And so going and meeting Brandon and us like clicking and having like easy, goofy conversations. Like we had, you know, a lot of the tough conversations. and we didn't see a lot of that because there's just so much going on. But it was like the day-to-day, like, life things that it just, it felt like, okay, like I can really do life with you. And I think that ultimately, the thing that attracted to me attracted me to him the most was him putting his heart

on his sleeve and just being 100% honest about how he was feeling. And so, you know, me seeing that was something that like I really valued in him and knew I would really like about him. But you, you know, you see someone on TV. And I say this, like, it's funny because I was on reality TV too, but it's like, it could be a completely different person, like when you meet them in real time. And he ended up being like so much more. And obviously, that's just, I mean, people are so much more than what you see on TV. And Brandon was everything I expected him to be.

but more. And I know on the show, like, I kind of talk a lot about how he loves me so well. And I think for me saying those things, it was more so like, I wanted him to know that, like, I was accepting his love and appreciative of his love because I had been in a position where I kind of like was discarded before. And I knew how important that was for him as well. But like, his, I don't know, He's just such an incredible person, like goofy, funny, but just has such a big heart for everyone around him. And I really just appreciated how real he was. And for me, I think with him, the biggest difference that I had like never felt in my life

was like the ease and comfort at which I could talk to him. And, you know, even leading up to our engagement, I was pictured. as a kid, like, being, like, nervous or giddy or... And it was just like, I'm getting engaged to Brandon today. Like, I was so calm and so peaceful with... Just felt right. Yeah, and that's something, like, you know, it's something that I, especially with not being so in tune with my emotions before

and, like, burying things down, I think that was huge for me. Like, that peace and that comfort, getting to know him. And even, like, being in crazy situations, with him and like living on that beach. And falling in love there is a special experience but it's also like not the easiest thing in the world

like you're faced with challenges and ups and downs that people might not see or know. And he was just always kind of like a safe haven for me. And so I think just knowing like the comfort that I felt was something I had never felt before

in my life. And that was when I knew, like, okay, like, this is the right person. And, you know, I love you so much more than, like, I've ever loved anyone, you know? Wow. And that, that was huge for me. And just like, just like that, that comfort, though, that came with that, especially in such a, like, odd. A fast. Yeah.

Like, it's even faster than the last time. And, like, you know, I was like, you know, my first time on this show. I was like breaking my walls down like, you know, I was getting comfortable and that was the first time like I was like, you know, getting comfortable with myself and like working through things and like all of that. But it was so easy with you. Like I didn't have to do it. I didn't have to be like, okay, now I have to like, you know, have this conversation with you and like I have to tell you this and like, are you going to be accepting of me if I like show you the parts of me that aren't so pretty? You know, and so. I know that like... You'd be scary. You hear a lot about like, I love how he loves me, but that's not all there is to him. Like, he's so much more than that. Question for you guys, because we watched your season of paradise.

And even from our point of view, it felt like there was maybe even a pressure before you guys went on the show. And then certainly watching the season. and how it all ended, you know, I can only imagine the pressure that was felt from you guys from everyone, the world. How do you deal with that? How do you keep, you know, the priorities straight there? Yeah, that's like an ongoing thing. It's like really hard.

We get so much love and support of like people being like, oh my gosh, we love you together, but then there's also so much. I will never believe in love again. I'll never watch the show again. Like, love isn't real if you guys don't work out. It's not like one or two. It's a lot. And so it was before the show.

And I kind of put that pressure because. Like literally as soon as I got sent, no, well, yeah. As soon as I got sent home, I'm like being tagged, sent things. It's like, you know who wouldn't break street? It's like. And it's like his cast picture. Oh, I remember seeing those. Now that you're saying that, I actually remember seeing that pop up on my.

I was subliminally like shooting my shot. So I do like kind of like a live like reaction to like what I'm seeing. And Supreme went home and I was like, oh no. I don't know. But I'm being sent like messages with like eyeball emojis. And then I like realize, okay. So why am I being. like tagged in this guy's like I'm being sent his story so much and then I was honestly so

scared to open it because then someone told me like he's talking about you on his story and I was like what if I opened his story and then he sees that I watched it because I look at his profile a lot and I'm not even following him yet I have no idea how to even do that even to this day so but uh I didn't realize like oh he's never going to see that he was like the thing yeah so many photos. Okay, again with another cut. This is what happens when we turn podcasts into hangouts. Our Chinese food that we had postmated, the driver canceled. So my lovely husband being the man that he is, went to get us our food. And so we're going to finish the podcast, just the three of us. Incredible hosts. Incredible. Oh, my gosh. It's too good. Okay. I have

four questions. One's fun. The other three are more intense questions, but I would love to hear your favorite quality and pet peeve about the other. Favorite quality would be her strength. She is like easily one of the

strongest people I've ever met through like hard times, good times, all of it. Favorite quality. My favorite pet peeve is when you do all your laundry but you just kind of just leave it for like a week.

I'm guilty. I am. You've done it before too, but I'm... So do you just not fold it? Guilty. Does it just sit? It's like I'll fold it, but we live in a one-bedroom apartment.

And so it's like... She has too many clothes. I've now gotten so ahead in my laundry that I don't have somewhere to put all of it right now. That's funny. So she has to wear clothes in order like... But normally I'm so behind in laundry. that I've just like never noticed before okay.

My favorite thing is I always know what I'm getting with you. Like you literally wear your heart on your sleeve. Like you're honest. You're just like your truest self all the time. Like I don't have to be afraid that you're like hiding something for me or anything like that. And then my. Peeve is when you play the game in the living room and you like are yelling. Like you were acting like you're like in the NBA championship.

Oh my gosh. As a baller and you're so invested and I'm just going about my day and you're like, ah! In the living. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things when I hear Taylor yelling about a football game or something. I'll be on the other side of the house. And like if it's a close, when it's a close game, I have to leave because like the pressure

part of the team. The pressure just like, I can't, I can't watch. And so I'll leave. And judging by the sound Taylor makes, I know if our team won or something good or bad happen. So I don't even really need to watch the games half the time because I just listen to Taylor's audibles at what he's yelling at the TV. And I'm like, oh, they scored.

Oh, they missed the field goal all day, whatever. So. Yeah, see, I'm big. I like sports, but I'm talking about his PS5. Oh, my gosh. She's talking about like when I play 2K. Oh. And then I feel like I'm part of the NBA.

Oh, my gosh. That's a circle. Yeah, Taylor doesn't. He does yell sometimes. Wait, what's the football one? Madden? Madden. Yeah, he plays Madden.

Madden. When you throw a touchdown, it's like fourth quarter. I do. Actually, that's a lie. I do hear him complaining sometimes. He hasn't played in a minute, but that's a good one. Oh, my gosh. That's so good.

Okay, three questions I have for you guys. The first one is, how of your individual struggles impacted your relationship? I think, like, how we navigate things, obviously, and we don't always do it perfectly, but like we're learning together and we're in it together. And so we get we get to do that together. We get to make mistakes together and be good together and try together. And also, you know, we were raised different. Like she was growing up in Oklahoma and I was growing up in Oregon.

With divorced parents. Divorced parents and then my parents are together and have been together since my whole life. So I think, you know, just like born different, different values and everything like that. And like how you handle situations is very much. different than how she answers the situations because like her parents handled it different with her when she's growing up and so she has different needs and like arguments and stuff like that maybe and then me how my parents handled it I have different needs and arguments and things like that so I think you know that could be something it's just like how we were raised is like she grew up with

divorced parents I grew up with married parents and then you know yeah perspective that's like one of my favorite words is like it's just like different perspectives and like perspectives. Coming together. That's awesome. Okay, next question is, how do you support the other person when they're struggling? I think it's just... It's always different.

It's always different, yeah. I think for us, it's like learning to be in tune with what the other person needs, but as the person struggling, like being open and not being afraid to say what you need because it's not fair to like... Putting away your pride. It's not fair to assume like someone can read your mind, like even if they know you really well. It's like giving that other person a chance to be there and like show up for you by like being vulnerable with them. But on the other side of that, being really supportive and,

you know, learning each other. I agree with that. I love like the not. They can't read your minds. Yeah. That was like one of the biggest things because like I'm the cleaner of the house Taylor would rightfully admit to that and like sometimes I'll find myself being like, oh, like I wanted Taylor to do this and he didn't like I wanted him to put. the two dishes away and he didn't like do it but I can't expect him to like like he doesn't read my mind he doesn't know I wanted him to do it because I didn't ask him you know or like things like just little things like that but that was like a big thing for me for sure absolutely then the last one is is there a mantra quote or habit you would encourage other couples to consider it was weird when I heard it

it was so weird when I heard it you're about to say what I think is yeah I am I am when life gives you lemons make orange juice. It was confusing as hell at first, but then I was told like kind of what it meant is pretty much like when society like has a norm of like how to handle a situation, kind of handle it a way in which you think is best on your own in your own way. So pretty much like if society's like, hey, she's yelling at you, maybe you should face it with anger. Now maybe I should do it in a way where I think that it's going to be best for us.

So pretty much like when society's like, so yeah, when your handed lemons make orange juice. So pretty much like, hey, this could be something that works for them, but it's not something that works for us. Do something that works for us instead of focusing on something that works for other people. I love that. Even though it's a little different than our clip here, but I'll take the orange juice. I'll take the orange juice. That's awesome. Well, thank you guys for being here.

I'm so excited to eat our Chinese food and finish up this charcutory board. And wine, we're going to leave their Instagram handles, all the stuff below. Thanks for squeezing us in. Thank you for squeezing us in. We'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much for squeezing us into your day. Please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube. You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my lovely wife,

at Taye Lautner. Check out the squeeze on Instagram at the squeeze. And also give a little glance and a follow to Lemons by Tay. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com. And also be sure to email us, laughtner.com. At the squeeze podcast at gmail.com. If you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see,

we've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey. with those around you and sent our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely. Tudels McGoodles, everyone. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.