The Squeeze - Brooke Averick: Naming Your Emotions

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

In this week's episode, Tay sits down with author, comedian, podcast host and lifestyle creator Brooke Averick! Brooke shares about blowing up on TikTok during Covid and what that growth looked like, meeting Connor Wood and how their friendship led to launching their podcast together, and what they cover on it. Brooke gets candid about her mental health and OCD journey, including the signs that showed up at a very young age, who first noticed she was struggling, and how starting therapy early shaped the way she understands herself today. She talks about what she thinks people often get wrong about OCD, how simply naming an emotion (like saying "I feel anxious") has been one of the most powerful tools in her toolkit, and the boundaries she sets with social media to protect her mental health. She also shares the signs she watches for when she needs to slow down and check in with herself, and the self-care practices that help her reset. Brooke then shares where the idea for her book Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It came from, what she's learned about herself through the writing process, and what she hopes readers take away from it.Be sure to follow Brooke https://instagram.com/brookeaverick/!Get Brooke’s book Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It now! https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-itTo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Please donate today at ronaldmcdonaldhouse.org/donate/mcbridefamily to help more families stay.Visit drinkspindrift.com and use code tay for 15% off.Visit Crocs.com or a store near you to find your perfect pair of Classic Clogs!Go to tonal.com and use promo code SQUEEZE for $200 off your purchase.Go to ogee.com/TAY and use code TAY to get 20% off certified organic makeup that performs like luxury.Head to goodr.com/SQUEEZE to claim $10 off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Did you know the whole internet is just like a cable that runs under the whole ocean? Brooke, welcome to the squeeze. Thank you so much for having me. I don't really like bubbles. And like that is like something that I'm insecure about. Can you burp or do you have the thing where you can't? No, I love burping.

Okay. The duvet cover. Me and my husband have a really good cycle of me like going into the thing. And I like wiggle my hands up and he like puts it and then he like pulls it over my head. That is reason enough to get married. Honestly, yes. Something about naming an emotion is really helpful. Like, if I'm nervous about something, I have to be like, I'm really nervous.

If God forbid something happens where I, like, have a panic attack, like, you knew it was a possibility. Are you under educational? Because I feel like your podcast could be very educational. I think we'd get sued if we were under educational because everything we say is somehow always just like a little bit exactly wrong. I'm not Brooke on a date because if I was broke on a date, I'd be like throwing up on the table. But I'm Brooke playing a girl going. on a date and she's so confident and she's not throwing up at all after.

No. Until she's getting home and no one is around. Yeah, exactly. Lemon Drops let me introduce to you today's guest, Brooke Averick. She's a content creator, podcaster, and author who rose to prominence during the early TikTok era in 2020. Originally working as a preschool teacher, she gained viral attention for her comedic, highly relatable videos, especially one centered around reading her childhood diaries, interests of thoughts

and anxiety-driven humor. Since then, she's best known for co-hosting Brooke and Connor make a podcast with Connor Wood. Brooke shares her unfiltered honesty around mental health, including OCD, anxiety, and depression. And this month, she is coming out with her debut novel, Phoebe Berman's going to lose it. This episode is so fun because Brooke and I truly just sit and yap and we will go from like dying laughing saying the most random things to having such serious conversation about mental health. We dive deep into Brooke's OCD journey about how she was diagnosed with it as a child, how it's manifested in her life, and what it looks like for her today. We talk about what self-care looks like to her and how she prioritizes her mental health.

I'm also so excited about her book. Like genuinely, this is probably going to be the first book that I actually fully read. The concept is so great. I'm so excited for you guys to hear her share about it because it is kind of parallel to what she has going on in life, but it has a fun spin on it. So without further ado, here's Brooke. Welcome to the squeeze. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm excited. I love having podcasters on the podcast because I feel like there's just like there's like a level of comfort because like you're used to like this. Yes. Going on. No, there is. And it's always nice like and I'm sorry because you're hosting, but it's always nice to like not host. Oh. For once.

I completely agree. So I'm really, I feel very safe and comfortable in your hands. No, it's I completely agree with that because you don't have to like, you just like show up and you're just like, have. Don't have to think about anything. So we start each episode off with this jar. It's a little game called citrus got real if you want to pull a little piece of paper on there. And you can read it to our lemon drops. Okay, great.

Our listeners. Hello, my lemon drops. Okay. Oh, I love this. What's something small that can instantly make your day? Oh, cutie. That's good. Normally they're like, if you were a tree, what tree would you?

Okay. This one's cute. This is cute. And I think my answer right now is clean sheets. Ooh. Because that sounds so nice. I don't think it's something that I can make happen for myself today or maybe even tomorrow. But hopefully soon I can get around to doing that. Hopefully within the week. Hopefully within the week. That's something I'm excited to maybe happen soon. Oh, I love like, I love like a good crisp like getting into bed. I do too. But it is really hard for me to even start to think about washing my. sheets like that's my big I know the duvet cover is something that I've really um me my husband

have a really good um like a cycle of me like going into the thing and I like wiggle my hands up he like puts it and then he like pulls it over my head and we've got a good like that is reason enough to get married honestly yes it cuts the time and half it really takes me like 45 minutes yeah I don't know how you would do that by yourself no it's pretty it's pretty I'm sorry you have to go through that thank you thank you but clean sheets I think yeah I'm trying to I didn't think it. Wait, what was it again? I'm trying to think if I had one. What's something small that can instantly make your day? I was going to say like a yummy drink.

Like I love like a, like a midday, like pick me up, like a match or like a any type of like little like yummy. I've been on a tea cake from Starbucks randomly. Like a cold one. Like yeah, like a like a what's the one I get? The iced green tea peach green tea lemonade. I don't know what order could go to wear. But one of those just like really, and I just sip on it throughout the day. That's like. That sounds good. Yeah.

Are you a soda girl? I'm like a healthy soda girl or actually out of all the sodas. I'm a sprite girl. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. I feel like that's not typically people's go too. I know.

That has just like always like if my stomach's like at all hurting me. I'm like I need a sprite if I'm out and I'm like I just like always get a sprite. I know. I love that. I don't know. Are you? I don't really like bubbles. Okay.

Like that is like something that I'm insecure about. But so I try. Like I'll like casually try and sip like a poppy or something. But like I feel like I'm three years old. I'm like I hurt. It's like spicy. Can you can you burp or do you have the thing where you can't burr? Oh, I love.

No, I love burping. Okay. Never right. Because I was going to say I know people that can't burp and then that like would bother them. That must be really uncomfortable. Yeah. But no, it tastes like really spicy or something to me. And I'm not like a spicy girl.

I love a spicy spray. Yeah. Oh, that's like no feeling. No, I'm very jealous because it just, it seems just like a. good activity. Yeah. To drink bubbles. Then you can do, do you like macha?

Yes, I love macha. Okay. Then that could be like your. Yeah. That would be my treat. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah, I'm not a big, I'm not a big soda, really.

But if it's, if it's bright or ginger ale recently because I've just been nauseous all the time. Gingerail is good for. Ginger rails for me. For the tummy. I want to talk about the podcast because I, when I was telling, like my friends, my friends are always like, who are you having on? I'm like, oh, I'm having Brooke on.

And then they're like, Where would I know her from? I'm like, you know the clip? Luckily, I have purse. And they're like, oh my gosh, yes. I'm like, that is her and her co-hoops. So the great thing about that one is it's definitely like the most like viral Brooklyn Connor clip.

And it's actually not me in it. Oh, it's not you? No. Oh, my gosh. The one episode I miss. That's so funny. It's like the most viral episode of all time. It's our friend Kelsey.

That's so funny. We kind of look alike and have similar mannerisms. Yeah. So everyone is always coming up to me and is like, I have purse. And it's like, yeah. I wish I did too, but it's Kelsey. You actually saying that now, I actually don't think I've seen the clip. It's very, it's like, or I've literally just seen like the one thing of Connor and just, I've just like, I mean, I use the audio.

It's what really popped off. And it's fun fact, it's not me. And I always feel bad. Like I'm like, I hope like, I don't want Kelsey to think I'm like stealing her like her moment because it's such a good one. So, yeah, I feel like you guys have good audio clip. So where, how did, how did you guys meet? We both started posting on TikTok in like peak COVID 2020. Okay.

And I think like not a lot of people yet were like using it for like just talking to the camera. Yeah. And so we would get tagged in each other's videos a lot like, oh, you remind me of Brooke and oh, you remind me of Connor. Oh my gosh. And so we started DMing and we were like, yeah, you're so funny. You're so funny. And then we eventually met. Yeah.

And then we really hit it off. and then I moved to L.A. Okay. In 2021, but I can't do anything alone. So I was like, what if, like, we lived together and we had another friend who lived with us, too. And I was like, what if we, like, made videos together and lived together? And that worked out for a few months. We lived together.

Oh, my gosh. And so that kind of transitioned me to L.A. And then eventually we made a podcast. That is so. Were you listening to podcasts? I always, I always want to ask podcasters this because. I never listened to podcasts. I'm glad you said that because no, I'm not either.

Okay, great. No. I still don't. No, I still don't. Because if I'm driving, like, I need music. Yeah. And music or I'm like calling my mom. Yeah.

I agree. And I think just like part of also having one it's like. Yeah. Maybe that's it. It's like podcast fatigue almost. Yeah. But I definitely love the art and the craft. Yeah.

I can appreciate the art. I totally appreciate it. But yeah, I'm not a podcast. Okay. That makes me feel better because everyone's like, what podcast are you listening to? Like, you probably know the best ones because you have one. And I'm like, I love clips. Yeah.

I will consume everyone's podcast clips. Yeah. But the whole thing, yeah. Yeah. If I ever have said I've, I've made me watch like two or three like full podcast in my life. And that's normally when like Alex Cooper has someone on. Right. I like watch the tea.

My celebrity crush is on some ones. but like otherwise it's it's a clip for me. I'm so glad that you feel that way. When did you guys start the podcast? How long have you been doing it? 2020. I think we just had our three year anniversary. Okay.

Yeah. So a long time. Yeah. Yeah. You like it. What do you guys just like chat? We really do. Yeah, I love it.

It is like coming on three years. It's like what, what else do we talk about? I always wonder that because do you guys have guests or is it? used to have a ton of guests. Okay. And then we've kind of, it's a, it's definitely like a very different dynamic when there's a guest and sometimes

it really works. And then sometimes it doesn't. So I think we've kind of just like lean towards having a guess when it really like makes sense. Yeah. For sure. So we have them rarely now. Yeah.

But we'll still like have one every once in a while. But usually it's just us like kind of talking about like just like, really random stuff. Like, did you know there's an, like, the whole internet. It's just like a cable that runs under the whole ocean. Like, that's my one talking point for this week that I'm going to talk bring up tomorrow. Because it's like, what else do we talk about besides that? Well, isn't it like also like satellites and things?

Probably. But like, I didn't know that like the internet cable. It's called like the Atlantic internet cable that runs across the whole Atlantic. Anyway, this is how we start every episode where it's like, we're like grasping, like, that this is what we have. But like it always turns into something. You've exhausted every topic. We've exhausted like moments that we've shared together that are like funny to bring up.

Yeah. So we really are just like starting with something is like that. And then luckily we both kind of devolve into whatever happens. But like that's kind of what we're working with right now is like internet cables and stuff like that. Like last week it was like Connor was. Connor was like I was reading up on Wikipedia about the potato famine. And like that's how we started. And then look like, I don't know how we get 60 minutes out of it. Are you under educational? Because I feel like your podcast can be very educational. I think we'd get sued if we were

under educational because everything we say is somehow always just like a little bit exactly wrong. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I think we're actually under like lifestyle, which doesn't necessarily make sense either. We started out as under relationships, which made less sense. Yeah. And then I think we're, or maybe we're under like society. Yeah. Whatever that means. So. Actually, no clue what that means.

I don't know either, but we're definitely not under educational. Wow. I'm like really excited to look up this like internet. But the thing is, I'm probably wrong. And like that's what, why we can't be under educational. Because I saw one TikTok about it. So I'm like, that must be true. Uh-huh.

Yeah. That is fast. That is always when I'm like, I was reading this article the other day. It was a TikTok. I absolutely watched. I did no reading. I did, I read the subtitles and that was it. I do know further research.

I'm like, that cable is so amazing. It might not exist. Yeah. But like, let me tell you all about the transatlantic cable. Yeah. No. So anyway. Yeah, I do that same thing.

I got to my husband. I'm like, babe, I was reading this article the other day. I'm like outing myself because he has no clue that I don't read articles. I'm like just watching TikToks. And I'm like, did you hear about this? He's like, I don't know if that's true. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't think it was true either. No, my goal for like just as I age and just the future is to like double check.

Yeah. I'm not a double checker. Yeah. Yeah. If you take anything away from this episode is to double check. Or at least like double check before I say it into a microphone, I think is maybe a goal of mine. You like start adding a disclaimer at the bottom of your description of every episode. I do always say that I'm like this could be a lie.

Yeah. But there's a cable. Yeah. So it's fine. That's great. Yeah. It's good. It's good tapping points.

It really gets the brain moving. It gets the brain moving. And I think that's, yeah, that's what the podcast is really, basically. I was getting that brain moving. I love that. Maybe I'll. Take a listen. No, no, watch the clips.

Hey, listen. Just watch a clip for two. Yeah, love it. I love it. I feel like when we talk about going through something really difficult, we often focus on the big moments. The diagnosis, the hospital stays, the things that feel overwhelming in a very obvious way. But I think we don't always think about all the little in-between moments,

the day-to-day things that suddenly become really hard when everything else is going on. Like where you're going to. sleep, how you're going to eat, how you're going to take care of yourself while you're trying to show up for someone you love. And that's what really stood out to me when learning about Ronald McDonald's House. The level of support they provide goes far beyond what you might expect. After a car accident led to multiple hospital stays, surgeries, and the premature birth of their daughter Juliana, the McBride stayed at Ronald McDonald House in Kansas City, which provided them with essential resources, a community of support, meals, and accommodations near the hospital

at no cost to them. And when you hear that, it really starts to paint a picture of what that kind of support actually looks like, because it's not just about having a place to stay. It's about everything that surrounds that. Ronald McDonald's House programs are thoughtfully designed for families with serious chronic conditions, including mental health support, stocked kitchens, accessible bathrooms, space for physical therapy, medical freezers for breast milk, art therapy, music programs, sibling support, and so much more. Ronald McDonald House provides far more than a place to stay, and for families like the McBrides, it's the support system they need to heal. For the McBrides, every detail mattered. Because when you're going through something like that, it's not just

one thing that makes it easier. It's all of the small, thoughtful things that come together to support you as a whole person, not just the situation you're in. It's making sure families feel cared for, seen, and supported in ways that go beyond just the immediate need. And that's exactly why the McBrides are sharing their story. Today, as the first ever global spokes family for Ronald McDonald House, the McBrides are sharing their story to help others understand the essential support the organization provides for families in need around the world. I think it's hard to fully understand the impact of something like this until you hear what it actually looks like in someone's life. And when you hear it, you realize how much it matters.

Families who walk through the doors of Ronald McDonald House programs are forced to navigate one of, if not the most challenging times in their lives. Ronald McDonald House exists to ease the burdens and tolls they face. So families can focus on what matters most, the health of their child. And that's really what it comes down. to, giving families the ability to focus on their child without having to carry everything else on their own. Support families like the McBrides by donating at Ronald McDonaldhouse.org slash donate slash McBride family. I feel like there are certain things that have just

quietly become a part of my routine and I don't always talk about them. But one of them is what I'm actually drinking throughout the day. And Spindrift has genuinely become my go-to. I keep a dash of them in the fridge truly at all times, which if you know me means I am serious about something. Spindrift is the only sparkling water in America made with real squeezed fruit. Yes, you heard that correctly. I know that that's actually crazy to hear, but you can honestly taste the difference the second you crack one open. It's not that vague hint of fruit you get from other sparkling waters. It's actual flavor because there's actual fruit in it. And it's unsweetened with no added sugar, So it's one of those feel-good drinks that doesn't ask you to compromise on taste at all.

I honestly have been absolutely loving my Spindrift little afternoon break. I mean, I had them with dinner last night. I had one midday yesterday. But really, I just love a little midday pick me up. You guys know if you've been listening to this podcast. You know how much I talk about needing something in the afternoon. What's different with Spindrift is I can actually read and I know all of the ingredients on the label. I just posted about it on my story because I'm just baffled that something can taste this good

and have such good ingredients. Every spin drift is probably made the hard way from farm to can. Our listeners get 15% off their next order of spin drift. Visit drinkspindrift.com and use code Taya checkout for 15% off your site-wide purchase. One use per customer valid through 1231-26. not valid on subscription orders. That's D-R-I-N-K-S-P-I-N-D-R-I-F-T dot com and use code Tay for 15% off your order. Crocs have had such a moment, and I honestly think it's because they figured out something most shoe brands haven't yet, that comfort and personality can actually live in the same shoe. You guys know how obsessed with my crocs I am.

I actually don't even know how many pairs I have. like there's too many, probably 12. There's so many different occasions for my crocs and I am truly obsessed with them because the comfort is genuinely next level. Crocs shoes are so comfortable, you can wear them all day and forget that you're even wearing shoes. You can just slip them on and go. You can grab them on your way out the door and never have to sacrifice convenience for style. I also love that there's genuinely a style for everyone. Crocs shoes come in so many fun silhouettes. Some are more elevated like classic crafted clogs, which are made with 100, percent soft wash canvas upper. And if you like to keep it simple, but enjoy little embellishments,

the classic buckle clog is a great option. It comes with a cute buckle on the heel strap that adds a touch of elegance to a classic shoe. And then, of course, we have to talk about the gibbets because there's a gibbet charm for anyone. Whether you're heading back to school, making memories with friends, or going about your everyday life, Crocs just fit into it all. Visit crox.com or a store near you to find your perfect pair of classic clocks. talk about your mental health on the podcast? I, yes. I don't think we've ever gotten into like a really like in depth. Yeah. Like this is when I started exhibiting like my first signs of like OCD type of conversation. But like I'll always be like my mental is like so bad today. Sorry if I can't get a

sentence out. Yeah. So like I am like very open about it and people, I would say everyone like knows that it's something that I struggle with. Yeah. But I don't know that we've really gotten into the weeds. I used to have a podcast that I did solo. Okay. And I would have guests on that. And so I think there was an episode I did with Jake Shane. Okay. Where we were really like, what meds are you on? Yeah. When did you start? So that, like, I've definitely, like, said a lot of stuff on the internet. Yeah. About it. But I don't think, like, on Brooke and Connor that we've really dealt. Have you, has that always, like, come naturally to you to, like, be open about it? Yeah. I think it's just, like, such a big. part of my life. And I also like, it puts me at ease to like say how I'm feeling first.

Yeah. Before anything. Because it like something about naming an emotion is really helpful. Like if I'm nervous about something, I have to be like, I'm really nervous. And somehow that makes me less nervous. Just like as long as we all know that, like if God forbid something happens where I like have a panic attack, like you knew it was a possibility. Yeah. You know. So always like I'm, it makes me more comfortable to be like, I am experiencing something today. I think that's, I mean, that makes complete sense because I feel like I'm always, like, my biggest, like, mental health thing is I'm always like, just speaking it if you are struggling makes it so much less scary.

And I really feel like that's like what you're saying. If you are, like, struggling or if you're feeling an emotion, like naming it and like hearing it, it's like, oh, okay, like, I'm just nervous not to take away from what you're feeling, but it's like, I've been nervous before. I know this feeling. Like I've been anxious before. I know this feeling. Then like actually like giving it a name and just like.

Totally. Getting it out of your head. Because sometimes when you're anxious, like you truly think like you could be dying. Yeah. So it's like when you just say like I'm nervous, it's like you're totally right. It's like, okay, that's what it is. Yeah. Done.

No, I was actually thinking about this. My first ever panic attack I had, I like fully went to the ER and I was like, granted I was like studying for my unclex, which is like the nursing exam. like the state board exam. And I like fully, I just ended up being having a panic attack. And I like had no clue. But like I literally like felt like I was dying. And how yeah, that's how it feels.

I didn't like realize then that that was like what was going on. They were like like, like you're fine basically. And I went home and they didn't really like, I feel like they didn't do a really good job. But like being like, hey, like you're having a panic attack. Like, you know, it's like, okay, you're not dying. but after I was like, oh, like, that's actually what that was. Because I was like, maybe it was like, sometimes like acid reflux can like give you like a pain like up here for having like bad acid reflux.

So I was like, okay, maybe it was just like that because I have my tummy issue girl. Oh, me too. But no, it was definitely, it was definitely a panic attack. Yeah. No, it's so scary when you don't know what that is. And so like knowing the signs of a panic attack is like, I feel like the best like treatment for it. so you can just like get in the mindset.

Yeah. I mean, speaking of the pit, one of the doctors has a panic attack in one of the episodes. While he's like on the case? Yeah, she actually. And they like, she like gets, they literally think she's like having a heart attack and they get her all hooked up to everything. And she ends up like being fine. Wow.

And that's like she was having a panic attack. So I was like, even doctors. Even doctors. Yeah. Even the best of us. How old were you when you were first diagnosed with OCD? Well, I was five. when I first, like, needed to go to therapy and was, like, put on meds.

But I wasn't diagnosed with OCD until much later. Okay. Basically, when I was five, it was 9-11. And I was, like, seeing, like, news coverage about it and hearing all about it. And I was like, oh, my God, I did that. Like, that was my fault. And I don't know, like, how my brain did that. but I was so convinced that because I could like picture it that it was my fault.

So then that's kind of what launched me into therapy because it was really consuming. I was like confessing to anyone that would listen. Like I couldn't like sit with myself because I was just like had these like terrible feelings of guilt. And then that like quickly morphed into like very severe ametophobia. Yeah. So I was just like really struggling. when I was young.

Yeah. And looking back to me now, like, both of those are so clearly OCD. Yeah. But I think, like, at the time it wasn't, OCD was more understood as, like, very behavioral. Yeah. And just, like, physical compulsions. So I didn't get diagnosed with OCD until college. Okay.

But I think it would have helped me knowing what it was then. Yeah. Because it was always, like, labeled as anxiety. Yeah. Which I do also have. But, like, in those moments, when I would get so stuck on a thought that always, like, felt different than anxiety and, like, harder to explain to people. And so having that diagnosis, like, later in life helped, but also,

like, I definitely wish I had it earlier, too. Yeah. I feel like, well, because I know, like, ADHD is, doesn't get diagnosed a woman until we're, like, 40. Right. But I do wonder sometimes if that also translates with things like OCD. I mean, I definitely think we have more knowledge of, like, all of the different aspects of OCD now than we did back then. But I do always wonder like if that also like bleeds into it because we do have emotions and we do like, you know, feel things or we like think deep. Like I feel like women are like just tend to be deep sinkers more often of stuff. So I always like wonder if that like bleeds into it.

Yeah. And I also think like if you have OCD like I feel like it's pretty impossible like not to have like anxiety or like get depressed because of like the way that it affects your life. Yeah. You know. So I feel like they're all so closely related to that if you have one, like you probably have something else like to. It's like very all encompassing.

Yeah. I was just at the doctor and he was like going through like all of the things. And he like reads over the like all the psych stuff. I'm like, yes, PTSD, depression, anxiety. Like it's just like always like click, click. And I'm sure there's like, you know, he was a very sweet old man, like very old. But I'm sure like they probably giggle at us. What like all of us are coming.

It was like depression anxiety. I know. Like I always think that too. And it's like I feel bad. But like also you would too. You would too. You know. Yeah.

But no, I was thinking that like my author bio was like, Brooke is like very open about her struggles with it. It's like 15 like things. And I'm like, what if we just did mental health like instead of like OCD? anxiety, depression. And it's like, okay, that's like, it's just a very extensive wit. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. How long did you do therapy? Did you stop? Did you start back up again? Where are you at? I have been in therapy all my life. Okay. But on and off.

Okay. I think what I was usually like when I was younger, it was when I was really like struggling like acutely. Yeah. And then when I would have these like moments of like peace. because it usually like comes in phases for me. I was not in therapy. Yeah.

Which looking back, I'm like I should have been in it when I was doing well too. It's not just for like when you're like really in pain. Yeah. But now I'm in it and I'm not like in like acute struggle right now, but I'm still like in therapy, which is great. So we can kind of like talk through things when I'm not like in an active mental health crisis,

which is nice to be able to do. No, I'd say that to. everyone obviously therapy is very helpful when you are in a crisis but I think it's so important to like you don't need to go every week if life's fine but like you know I had one last month and now I'm going like I go like once a month or twice a month when things are like still like fine just like you know have the check-ins because I also feel like too sometimes when I don't see my therapist and I have like so many things to film in on it's like I haven't even told them what I'm going through because I had to film in on all this other like stuff that was going on and then the

session's over and exactly. And it's like, we didn't even get to. Yeah. I know. Yeah. It's nice to just have someone that knows you too. And it's just like, even if it's not like mental health related, just like knows like who your friends are and like what your life looks like.

Who was the first person that noticed that you were struggling as a kid? I think it was my dad because I, when I told him, I did 9-11. And he was like, oh, okay, we've got something happening here. Oh, wow. So I think it was him. And then I think my parents didn't know what to do with that specifically. And they were like that, this was weird and we'll probably pass. And then it very quickly morphed into a metaphobia.

Yeah. And that is when I started therapy. Because I was having trouble like leaving the house and going to school. And like I couldn't go on play dates or anything. And I just thought like everything I did that like veered from my normal routine, I was like, this will make me throw up. For whatever reason. Yeah. So that was when I like really started therapy.

Yeah. It's so funny because like having, since having this podcast, I've actually really learned that I have a menophobia. Like I was like really bad as a kid. And like it's gotten, I think, a little better since I've been. Actually, no, that's good. That's a complete lie. I was going to say it's come out.

It kind of went away. And then I feel like since pregnancy, it's honestly. come out again because like I have not I didn't throw up once my first trimester and I was like I think that's because my brain was like you're not doing it's not an option yeah no it was like but I was like eating like because you're nauseous when you are hungry yeah so I literally was up like multiple times in night eating so that when I would wake up in the morning I wouldn't be nauseous hungry really like I just like was eating so much food and like crying because I didn't want to eat food because I was nauseous but I didn't throw up so it's I'm seeing it again but I have like

I bought like the blue bags from Amazon because like I'm like I could grow up and I like literally put them in every person, every car. I have like all the smelly things. And I'm like, okay, we need to just like I need to calm this down again. No, it's so common. But it's, yeah. I didn't know that until I started talking about it. Yeah. And I got so many DMs that were like, I have this.

And I think like when I was little, like I thought I had this like rare disease. Yeah. Like a metapobia. Like I didn't know anyone else experienced anything like it. Yeah. And if I had known that, I think I would have felt so much better. Yeah. Just to know that, like, I'm not like some, like, freak of nature. Like, this is. Exactly. I know. And I think I always just thought mine was tied because I have, like, a bad lactose allergy. Yeah. And when I was a kid and I'd like go hang out of my friend's house, I would drink milk because I was like, like, I want to drink. Like I didn't like, now I know if I have like ice cream, I'm like not going to feel great. Right. So I don't have it. But as a kid, I was like, no, I'm going to have a glass of milk with whatever. And then I would be sick. Yeah. And so I just always thought that it was like, I thought it was something that formed that was like related to that. But it actually was like, it's totally its own thing. And my parents too, they were like, you would cry when you would like at a stomach bug. You would just like cry and be like.

pray it away make it stop like i was like i would like ball as a kid when i did her up and then i would like so anxious that i would like i always have to know where an exit is it sucks how related anxiety and throwing up are especially when like throwing up makes people so anxious and like it's a horrible cycle yeah when i'm anxious it's in my gut and i'm like yeah i'm in how do i not i'm a very nervous puker and i'm nervous about puking so it's like the worst yeah it's like how do we get out of here Yeah, exactly. That's not fun for us, but it is funny to. It's honestly, it's just nice to talk about.

Like, again, just. It really is. Like, I feel like I've learned so much about myself just from talking with people. And, like, it's crazy how relatable, even like something that's honestly, like, kind of so specific as this. Like, it's so relatable in so many different aspects. Yeah. And I think that's, like, one of the great things about, like, being open. Yeah.

about your mental health is like one other people can feel like they're not alone because they're like oh my god i've experienced that too yeah and for me like i get so many messages that's like me too and i feel less alone so it's just like so it really has been like a great yeah place i feel like working out is one of those things where the mental load of it can sometimes feel just as exhausting as the actual workout like figuring out what to do whether you're doing it right whether it's even making a difference, it's a lot. And honestly, that's usually what gets in the way more than anything else. That's why I love Tonal. Tonal provides the convenience of a full gym and the guidance of a personal trainer at home with one sleek system. It's right there whenever you have a window to work out,

which is not always when the gym is the most convenient. And the thing that really sets it apart is how much it takes off your plate. It's designed to reduce your mental load. Tonal is the ultimate strength training system, which helps you focus less on. on a workout planning and more on getting results. You don't have to think you just show up and it takes care of the rest. Plus, there's no more second-guessing your form. Tonel gives you real-time coaching cues to dial in your form and help you lift safely and effectively. And it adjusts with you as you get stronger. After a quick assessment, Tonal sets the optimal weight for every move and adjust in one-pound increments as you get stronger. So you're always challenged. I also love that there's

so much variety built in, Tonal lets you choose from a variety of expert-led workouts, from strength to arrow hit to yoga, mobility, to keep you coming back for more. So whether you're in the mood for something intense or something more restorative, there's always something that actually fits where you're at that day. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your tonal purchase with promo code squeeze. That's tonal.com and use promo code squeeze for $200 off at your purchase. That's tonal.com promo code squeeze for $200.com. off. Have you ever put on a full face in the morning and by the end of the day, it somehow looks worse, like heavier, cakeier, almost like it's working against your skin. And I feel like

that was me for such a long time. That's exactly how I discovered OG, a certified organic beauty brand that truly performs like luxury makeup. What makes it different is the crystal contour collection. Most makeup is 80 to 90% pigment and filler, but OG flips that. It's nearly 90% skincare ingredients. It has ingredients I'd spend real money on in serious skincare. And now it's also in my makeup too. It's also an NSF certified organic, which is one of the most rigorous standards in the beauty industry. No synthetic fragrance, no artificial fillers, nothing unnecessary. There's three sticks, copper for warmth, rose quartz for flush, and opal for glow. You can do your whole face in five minutes and look like you're just having a really good skin day. It makes your skin look like your skin,

just better. If you're ready to raise your beauty sanders, OG's got you covered. Go to OG.com slash tay and use code Tay for 20% off. That's OGEE.com slash tay and enter code tay to get 20% off. I think sunglasses are one of those things where you either find a pair you're completely obsessed with or you're constantly dealing with one of those slide down your nose the second you start sweating or bounce all over the place when you're actually trying to move in them or just look so boring you don't even want to wear them. And for a long time, I feel like that was just kind of the deal. Like you had to pick between cute and functional.

And then I found Goitter and I genuinely cannot stop talking about them. Gooder makes active eyewear for anyone. And the whole brand was built around solving a really specific problem. Sunglasses that were expensive and totally over-engineered. So they created something fashionable, affordable, and all performance without any extra stuff you don't need. The performance side is seriously impressive. They're constructed with special grip-coded frame that eliminates slippage when you're sweating, which alone is a game changer.

And the fit is snug and lightweight, so there's zero bouncing while you move. No fidgeting, no adjusting, mid-workout, no distractions. You just put them on and forget about them in the best way. And the lenses are polarized with UV-400 protection and block 100% of harmful UVB rays. So your eyes are actually taking care of when you're running, hiking, sitting at brunch, or watching a game. And the fun part, the styles, bold colors and wild themes. They instantly pull an outfit together without trying, and there's genuinely something for every single look.

From timeless tortoises show to the most fun on-trend colors you've ever seen, once you know about Gooder, you'll start noticing them everywhere. Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable, head to Gooder.com slash squeeze. Claim $10 off your first order. That's G-O-O-O-D-R. dot com slash squeeze and off. I'm curious if you have

an answer for this, but what's something that you think people maybe get wrong about OCD? I think like what we were saying, I think a lot of people still think about it as like physical compulsions and also that you have to be like really clean. And like I am a

slob. Like truly like I like am very type B. And I think people think of OECD. is like a very like type A quality. Yeah. And that it like couldn't be further from from me. So my OCD is very much like I just get so stuck in my brain. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel that. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I definitely think we're finally breaking that. I think so. stigma.

Yeah. Around it. I think so too, which is great. That's probably because people are talking about it more. People are talking about it and a lot more people are getting diagnosed now too. Yeah. which is great. And I think people that are, have platforms that like people,

people like you and Jake Shane and people that are like, oh, these people are cool. Like they like look, you know, like look up to you guys in a way. I feel like it makes, it makes it more approachable and not like some like, I don't know, creepy person as like, it was like we think of it as like this like scary thing. But it's not like this person's like really cool. And like,

they have this platform and they're doing this. Like, and they have OCD and they're talking about it. Like it makes it. Maybe more digestible. Yeah. Is the word? No, that's so true. And I think I wrote a book about, you know, a girl with OCD and anxiety.

And the goal that I had when writing it is because I've read a lot of, like, great books about people, like, struggling with their mental health. But they're usually, like, they, like, struggle a lot, like, in life in every aspect. Yeah. And they're not, like, super, like, functioning. So I think my goal with this book was to like show somebody who is like so on it in every way and like so successful. Except for just like she really struggles with like a certain aspect of her mental health. But like other than that, life is good. Yeah.

Because like I think that you're right. Like we don't see a lot of like success stories. Yeah. How do you feel like sharing on social media are now like being a public figure and having a platform, do you have to set any boundaries with your time on social media or anything with like making sure like it doesn't like trigger your OCD or something? Like has, has it had any correlation for you? I, at the beginning, I was really, really struggling because I had like never, I did not like expect this for myself. Yeah. And like didn't really ever post

on the internet before like I downloaded TikTok and I was like obsessed. with checking notifications, refreshing every five seconds, like really like tying my worth to whatever I was seeing about myself online and just how many likes I would get. And just I definitely think that was like a part of like some sort of mental health thing was tied in there for sure. Yeah. But I don't know what happened. Luckily one day I just kind of like snapped out of it.

And I think that's happened to me with like a lot of phases I've gone through. with my metaphobia, like one day I just like snap out of it. Yeah. For better for worse. Like it just is like this you shall pass, I guess kind of thing. Like I don't know. Luckily it just kind of like stopped. But it was really tough there for like a year.

Yeah. No, I bet. What are some like signs that you need to slow down? Like what is like, oh, like I need to do a little like self-care check in? I think I'll still get back into some like compulsive checking. Uh-huh. Like I, with my book especially, like, I am not supposed to be checking reviews. But I do.

Yeah. And like this is, we're recording this like long before like the book comes out. So like it's not out yet. And I think hopefully I'll be good about not checking them once it comes out. Yeah. But like those like pre-publication reviews, I'm like constantly refresh. but me and my therapists have made a schedule. We're weaning.

So right now it's every four hours I can check. Tomorrow it will be every five. Oh. And then, yeah, so we're kind of like how you like taper off a medication. Absolutely. We're in the process of tapering off checking good reads right now. I love that. Yeah.

And this will be your accountability. When this comes out, you're going to be done. No, when this episode comes out and my book comes out, like I'm not checking anymore. Yeah. So accountability. Yeah. I got you. But definitely, like, I am a compulsive, like, checker.

Yeah. I mean, it makes sense, too. Yeah. It's your baby. You know, you want to, like, see how people are liking your, like, in your work. Before we get into book stuff, I want to know, what does, like, self-care look like for you? What is, like, your go-to? Do you have any go-to things?

I have two. Okay. And it depends on, like, what, where my head is. I'm a big, I love my bed. and I'm a big napper. Yeah. And so that is my self-care when it feels healthy. Yes.

Because sometimes it's not. Like sometimes it's like napping is like as much as I want to rest. Yeah. Like that is not what I need. Like I need to go on a walk. And like that is a form of self-care that I don't like. But it is still self-care because like that's what's good for me in the long run. It's like getting out of the house.

Yeah. So my walking self-care is my self-care when I don't want to take care. of myself. Yeah. And my nap is kind of like more of a reward. That's good. When I'm like kind of feeling good. I love that. That's so real. Because yeah, I'm like, I'm the same. I love bed. I could eat, obviously, sleep, watch TV. Like I'm like, I could do. That's my office. I could, yeah. I'll have like, if I have, if I've had a busy week and then I have like Friday, I'm at home and I just like have calls, I'll literally just like hop into bed and I'll like just work from bed all day. Which like in that scenario, I think it's earned because I've been out of the house all week. But no, and my

husband is so not bed. That's probably the biggest, like, problem in our marriage is that I would like to watch shows at night in bed. And he is like, no, we have to be on the couch. That would be hard for me too. I watch it on the couch. He always wins. But I get to go to bed. I go to bed before him. So I technically like it, like, some, like, nice quiet time in bed. Okay. That's I'm into your book. I actually want to talk about, like, writing in general for you. How long, so the book you're talking about earlier, not this book you're talking about. This one. That's what you're This is my first born. Okay.

Yeah. My only, yeah, my one and only baby. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Where did the idea come from? Because I feel like we always hear like, because it's a fictional book. It's a fiction, yeah. Okay.

Where'd that come from? I had been sitting on the idea of a 30-year-old virgin who, basically the book is about Phoebe, who is turning 30 and she is like deeply obsessed with romance, such a hopeless romantic. But it's also like the thing. that she is the most scared of. Yeah. Like she has a severe, like, fear and, like, phobia of intimacy.

But it's also, like, what she wants the most. So she's, like, approaching 30. And she's still a virgin. And she's, like, what am I going to do? Yeah. So this book is the 30 days before her 30th birthday. And she kind of makes a list. And she's like, all right, we are losing, we as in Phoebe, are losing my virginity by the time I turn 30.

So that is the book. Oh, my gosh. And that is something I've. was just sitting on for a while because I'm also turning 30. Yeah. Like when this book comes out and I am very much like a virgin in my heart. Mm-hmm. Like I have never been in love.

I've never been in a relationship. And that's something that I really want. And I think the like 30 deadline for whatever reason is really scary for a lot of women. Yeah. And so that is something that I wanted to do with Phoebe. and truly was like the best therapy I've ever had. Writing this was so cathartic. And like it just really took the pressure off of that 30 for whatever reason.

It was just very, very healing. And I hope that people will feel that when they read it. Oh my gosh. Wait. That's, I loved learning like what the book was about. Because when I read the title, I was like, I thought like lose it like she was like going to like go crazy or like be upset. but then when I read the description of the book, I was like, wait, this is actually, like,

the cutest thing. Yeah, it's like a double entendre. And also, like, relatable. Like, even if you still, like, even if you're not a virgin, like, I feel like it's still, like, it's so relatable. Something that I learned while writing it is it, like, everyone has their virginity. It's just, like, whatever it is. Like, everyone has something where they feel behind.

Yeah, that's so true. Wow. So I think that this book will, like, call to that aspect of everyone, whether it's, relationships work whatever. I love that. So you were just like, I have this idea. I'm going to write a book. Well, I've always wanted to write a book. Okay. But I really was like, thought that I needed to like go back to school and like master, get a master's in like creative writing or do something like take a class. Yeah. I was just like I'm not qualified. Yeah. And then I just kept seeing people be like, you just have to do it. You just have to do it. Yeah.

Because I was like looking up all these like classes at USC and I so I kept getting fed like a lot of like writing stuff. Yeah. Just do it. And I was like, I don't know if I can. Yeah. And then I started talking about it a lot. Yeah. Like wanting to do it.

And then agents reached out and they were like, you know what? Like if you have this idea and you want to write this book, there is nothing stopping you. And I think I just kind of like needed to hear that. And then hung up from that phone call and like just started writing. Yeah. And that was that was it. I love that. So what's been the biggest reward or something you've learned about yourself

throughout this whole like writing process? I think I always, there was always a part of me that like felt like I was special in a bad way kind of. Like why am I, why me? And like, why do I have this anxiety that like it doesn't seem like it's happening as badly to everyone else. And I think this book was like the kick that I needed to be like, no, it is. Like, you're not special. Like, it is everyone has their own like virginity. Everyone has their thing. Yeah. Everyone is anxious. Like everyone has something that they're hung up on. And I think I really kind of needed to get out of that like victim mentality. Yeah. That's so interesting. And I think that

this book really helped with that. I love that. You, I think you need to like use that line more of everyone has like their own virginity. I like, I, have you like been saying that? I think that just slipped out. I think, I really think, I really hope by the time this airs that you've been saying it. Okay. I really like that too. Yeah.

I feel like it's like, it's like, like when you said it, I was like, oh. Everyone has a hang up. Yeah. So yeah, that's what I think I've, I've learned the most. What do you hope people take away from it? I hope that people take that away that like everyone has their virginity. Yeah. And also that like their.

I think a big thought that Phoebe has in the book, like, all the time is like there's just something so wrong with me. And like it's incurable. And like, there's just like a recurring thought. And I think that I hope by the end of that book, if people are relating to that, they learn that there is just nothing. There's nothing wrong with you. You know, you're not broken. You just have this thing. And it's not a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Well, I'm excited for you. I feel like everything about this is like, like, Like, I'm normally like not like a big book person. I'm starting to get to it. I got a Kindle. But I feel like everything about your book. Like I'm actually not just saying this because you're sitting here. The title is so catchy. The cover art I'm actually like obsessed with.

Like it's like perfect amount of like girly pop, but like the 20s 30 like vibe. Like I feel like everything and the description of it. I feel like you've really done a really good job with it. Thank you so much. The cover designer, her name is Sarah. she was so incredible. I was like, I'm thinking like early 2000s nostalgia. Yeah.

Like, just like, and she just, yeah, she just nailed it. Yeah. So I love that. Thank you. I'm excited. And I hope you can get it on your Kindle. Yeah, me too. I'm really excited about your Kindle.

I think that'll change the game for you. I've been really, I was really good with it. And then I got pregnant. And then I did nothing. That'll do it for about three months. And now I'm starting to do things again. Okay. So that's, but I feel like this, I need like a good, like, fun yet relatable fiction book because I'm, I'm definitely the type that is like the memoir reading, like self-help book learning.

Like I love to learn and it like my brain needs to not learn all the time. Like it needs that is a great quality. But it needs like a chill. This could be that. Not that you, not that like you won't learn anything, but like it definitely is like it's like. It's like passive learning. Right. It's a beach read with.

Yeah. I need to find a term that's like beach read, but like a little more like heart. There's a lot of heart to it. Yeah. Yeah. Beach read with a twist. I'm like, ask chat. Beach read on the rocks.

Like something like, I don't know. I mean, if anyone's going to think of it, it's you. I'll get back to you on that as well. Okay. Okay. Great. I love that. Great.

I have one last little segment to do with you. It's called Lemon 7. Okay. Seven questions. You can rapid fire them or if you have a story you want to share. Okay. It's your time. Perfect.

You're the guest and I'm just here. No, I love rapid fire. Okay. First question is what movie or song title best describes your mental health today? That's such a good question. I think I've been trying to romanticize my own life a lot recently. Yes. Which is very fun and very good for your mental health, I think.

And so I've been listening to Perfect Day. by Hoku, that song that's at the beginning of Legally Blonde. Yes. And it sounds up. That one. Just to kind of get in that, like, main character. Like, my life is a rom-com. I love this for you.

Yes. Spirit. So, like, that's the first song I listen to in my car every morning. And that is doing wonders. It's like a little bit of like Prozac for me. That's amazing. I've been hooked on like Rihanna radio right now. Oh, that's so good. I'm just like anything like early 2000s is really resonating with me right now.

No, I need a little. or something. I love romanticizing life, like, so much. It's actually like, I think that's why I like doing little, like, staycations or travels like that, because it gets me, when I'm in the house, I'm so, like, my brain doesn't sleep. Like, I'm like, there's always something that could be done. There's always something that could be organized or I could be working on this or there's this. But when I'm, like, out of the house, like, staying, like at a hotel or even just, like, driving in the car, I'm like, okay, like, it could, like, be quiet. So I think that's why I love, like, if I'm, like, staying somewhere, like, at an Airbnb, like, I'll, like, take, like,

like my quiet time. I try to do it. I still do it here in the morning. Like I'll light a candle. I like put my little like jazz music on the TV and just like have it like zen and quiet. If you pretend you're like the main character of a movie like it really like it's helped me with dating too. Like I am like playing the role of girl on a date. And so like you there's this like confidence that comes with that too that has it's helpful.

I'm playing this role of girl on a date. I'm not broke on a date because if I was broke on a date I'd be like throwing up. on the table. Yeah. But I'm girl playing Brooke. Absolutely. Or Brooke playing a girl going on a date. And she's so confident.

Yeah. She's not throwing up at all. Until after. No. Until she gets home. And no one is around. Yeah. Exactly.

That's funny. Okay. Number two is how open are you with people in life when you're struggling? Very. Yeah. Because I have to say it or else I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. Number three is if you could follow only three social media,

three social media. accounts, what would they be? That's such a good question too. I think the, I would follow, I used to knit a lot. Ooh. And so Tom Daly, the Olympic diver, nits. And his knitting account is the greatest thing that I've ever seen. He's so talented.

And every time he comes out with like a new piece of clothing, it's like the, and like watching him create is incredible and therapeutic. And just they're so cute. Yeah. I think it's made with love by Tom Daly. And that is my favorite, like my thing, my favorite account. I think he's like, it's just like the sweetest thing to me. So I'd follow him.

I also think Jake Shane, I really adore, like, as a friend. And just like the way that he complains. Yeah. It calms me. Yeah. I don't know what that says about like me, but it's just like I find him complaining to be so soothing. Yeah. I see that in the way.

Because it's like, yeah, it's just like relatable and also like you could all, things could always be worse. Like you could be Jake Shane like in an hour five of his delay on the plane and like you're right now. Yeah. So I love him. And then I think also the only person I have post notifications turned on for is Sarah J. Mass, who is the author of the Akatar series. And whenever she posts, I think that's like how people feel when like a new Taylor Swift song. comes out. Like to me, I'm just, like, she is my Taylor Swift. Yeah. So I think her as well. Okay. Yeah. Did you watch her call her daddy interview? I did. That is the, that's the podcast

episode that I watched multiple times. Yeah. I think the only one. I love that. Yeah. I have not, as you can probably guess, have not read them. I wouldn't dive into those first. Yeah. I would like maybe ease up with, let's say, I don't know, Phoebe for example. And then we can talk about kind of the harder stuff. Great. Yeah. That was a very good organic plug. Thank you. I'm very proud of. Thank you. Thank you. Number four. What is your favorite form of self-care?

I mean, I do, you know, napping when it's appropriate. Yeah. I also, I think taking a bath and making it a bubble bath. Yes. And lighting a candle. That's another like main character. Romanticize your own life. Yeah.

Thing. And then walking to, I can't walk. Like, I have to walk with a end goal, like, which is a treat. So either like walking to get ice cream or like a sweet drink or Barnes and No. noble, something like that, walking, yeah, with intention of getting a treat. Yeah. It makes it more fun. Yeah.

Number five is, what is the most misunderstood thing about you? I don't know how much people think this, but I think I'm really, really sensitive. And so sometimes I think that can come across, like, I get defensive. Like, if someone says something about me that, like, hurts my feelings, I'll be really quick to, like, be like, no, it's not, like, that's not what happened. like just very defensive. And that's, I think people can take that as like, I don't care where the, I just care too much. Yeah.

So I just think that I'm really, really, really sensitive. Number six is who's had the most positive impact on your mental health? I think maybe John Green, who he wrote The Fault and Our Stars, you know, he also wrote a book called Turtles All the Way Down. Okay. Which is about a girl with OCD. and that was a part of me realizing like, oh, this is what I have. Okay. Because he wrote about it in a way that like it's very much happening in her mind.

Yeah. And that character kind of helped me realize what I was going through. And so I think he, I would say John Green. And he's very, he's also very open about his mental health. And just like having that arc of like author with like the mental health lens, like is very inspiring. on your podcast. I would love that. I don't know that that's something that he would be down for. But like I would always like he is. I wrote him like a letter and like page maybe we have to cut this because he never answered it, which is totally fine. He's very busy. But like I did write him this letter

about like asking him if like he would read Phoebe with like saying like, hey, I thought I did 9-11. and because of that, like, you've really helped me. And better in, like, a lot of different words. Did you physically send this in the mail? No, I, like, my agent, like, sent it to his. But, like, with like, hey, here's this book that you. Wasn't it, it was a physical mail? No, it was an email.

Okay. Like, it's just hard. Like, it's busy and, like, it's hard when you get all this request. There's also, there's so many emails. Exactly. There's so many emails. I miss him zero in zero way. But that is someone that I was like, please read this.

I'm sure he will hear you. talking about this now and we'll probably hear from him. Any, John, whether I hear from you or not, who cares, I love you. You are the best, thanks. She's like sweating now. Anyway, that's my answer. I love that.

Okay, last question is, if you can go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself? Another great question. I think the first time that I like nervously puked, I was like, it was around this boy that I really liked. And this is a lot of what inspired this book as well because of Phoebe's like anxiety with dating. Because I just like liked him so much and was so nervous. I was like, oh, great, I'm throwing up now. Yeah.

And I was like, this is the end of the world as I know it, truly. Because it was so embarrassing. And after that moment, like I would not even like. look at a boy for years because I didn't like I was like I'm going to throw up. Yeah. Um, so if I could go back, I would go back to that moment and be like, you're fine. Like this is actually like, this does happen and like you're not. I thought I was like truly like the biggest like freak.

I was like, this is not normal. So I would say like this is, you're fine. Like it happens and like. Yeah. And I also would say like I like lied about it a lot. I would be like, I have food poisoning. or like, so if I just could be like, sorry I had a panic attack, I think that would have taken so much pressure off of the situation.

Yeah. I would have just handled a lot of that differently, I think. Yeah. And just, I just wish I could have relaxed. Yeah. Yeah. And gone easy on myself. That's sweet.

Well, thank you for coming. Thank you so much for having me. This has been so fun, equal parts, fun, and like heartfelt. I feel the same way. It's so good. This is very therapeutic and just lovely. I'll leave a link for your book. I'm excited. I'm going to read. I actually do one.

Well, I'll, of course, send it to you. And no pressure. But also, I think, no pressure to me and no pressure to John. No pressure to anyone, to John, Tate, to anyone listening. Read it if you want, don't. Who cares? He just like, no. Yeah, if you want, it's totally whatever. So it's out on May 26. Do whatever you want with that information. This is coming out somewhere around there. Yeah. We can just end this one. We said great. Thanks.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.