The Squeeze - Brooklyn and Bailey: Growing Together Through Different Seasons Part 1

Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Brooklyn Bailey, welcome to the podcast. Thanks. I think it's quite an interesting predicament to identical twin sisters, one who got pregnant within two weeks and one who's on month. I don't even know what anymore have negative tests. I remember 11 days postpartum. I just started having an anxiety attack.

Starting point is 00:00:25 I remember going over there and she was not acting like herself at all. Everything about my life has changed. That is what ate at me. most and where I had the hardest time admitting that I like needed help. I totally went into it with the expectation that I would get pregnant right away. I would not wish infertility on anybody because going through it has quite literally been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I've never felt more alone in my life and now I'm going to cry. I've never felt more alone before and it was a really scary. Sorry, isolating feeling because I have a twin sister.

Starting point is 00:01:05 and I've never been alone before. I couldn't share it with her. It was something that she couldn't really understand. Happy Wednesday and welcome back to The Squeeze. I am so excited to you here. We have a really special two-part episode, which I'm really excited about. I had no intention on making this episode two separate parts,

Starting point is 00:01:42 but honestly, everything was so good, and there wasn't anything that I felt like I could cut out of the episode. I felt like you guys needed to do. hear everything that our guests had to say. So I figured that I would split it up into two parts. But for this, part one, I have Brooklyn and Bailey on The Squeeze. Brooklyn and Bailey are identical twin influencers and entrepreneurs. In this episode, they share their background on how they got started on social media, including how their mom was a successful blogger, influencer, who inspired it all. They talk about what it's been like posting every single week since they

Starting point is 00:02:19 were 13 years old. Yes, you heard that correct. when they told me that, my jaw hit the floor. They share how they stay motivated to show up consistently and how they decide what to share and what to keep private. They also get candid about handling the hate on social media, how they create boundaries with it all, and how Bailey struggles more with unplugging while Brooklyn has found it easier to step away. In this part one, Brooklyn opens up about her pregnancy journey,

Starting point is 00:02:44 including a rare sis she had removed before going on to have a smooth pregnancy and welcoming her son. She shares what her postpartum experience looked like, tips on how to set yourself up for a good postpartum, and the boundaries she'd recommend setting during that season. She also gets into dealing with mom shamers on social media and what it's been like as a working mom, including why having something for yourself actually makes you a better, more present parent. I can't wait for you guys to hear part one of this episode. Make sure you subscribe to our channel or you're following us, however you are listening to this podcast today so that you don't miss out on part. too. That's on Bailey.

Starting point is 00:03:21 Welcome to the podcast. Thanks. This is so fun. And I'm curious if our audio listeners are going to be able to tell you this apart. To differentiate the voices. Definitely. I think my voice is lowered. Well, her voice lowered when she got pregnant.

Starting point is 00:03:35 And then it never really changed after that. It just stayed low. Yeah. So mine's like an active higher or something. Maybe. I don't know. I looked it up and said it was a thing. Is it only lower though?

Starting point is 00:03:46 Because one of our friends got pregnant and her voice, I swear is higher. I swear it's higher. I think they say it's only lower. Okay, well, maybe they'll know. Audio listeners, you guys tell us. You guys let us know. Wait, that's so funny. Okay, I need to like pay attention. It is weird, though, because I actually feel like I've been more, I don't know if Raspi's the right word, but I feel like my voice has been sounding different. Yeah. You have to ask people that, like, no, don't talk to you every day because they will, they will know automatically. Because that's how I felt like, I couldn't tell for her, but people who don't see her every day, We're like, whoa, you sound so different. Well, because I had heard a lot of people say that, like, congestion is like a constant problem when you're pregnant. And that did happen for me. And I thought that might have been why I sounded different.

Starting point is 00:04:30 But then it's just never went away. It kind of stayed the whole time. I know. There's lots of fun things. Okay. Well, I'll report back after my pregnancy congestion goes away because, yeah, I have that. Yeah. It's like permanent.

Starting point is 00:04:43 It's just there all the time. It's a really fun. It's a really fun thing. Well, I'm excited to have you guys on and chat about, all life things. But we start each episode off with this jar. It's a little game called Citrus Got Real.

Starting point is 00:04:57 Bailey, if you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there and read it to our lemon drops. Those are our listeners. I write lemon drop ladies. What's a random purchase that changed your life? I can tell you.

Starting point is 00:05:11 Oh, okay. Wait, do you want to answer? So fast. I can tell you because it changed my life. I was totally against buying a Kindle. I was purely a physical book girl. I was like, I'm never giving up the physical books. And then I bought a Kindle.

Starting point is 00:05:24 Totally. Life. My life is changed. I love that. I just really, I bought myself a Kindle on Black Friday last year because I was like, I really want to read. Like, I really want to get into it. And literally all of my friends are book girlies. And they're like, you need to start reading.

Starting point is 00:05:39 You need to start reading. And I finally read my first book. I literally finished it in a day and a half. What book did you read? The deal. Because I watched off campus. Okay. I was like, I need to, literally.

Starting point is 00:05:50 And so my girlfriend was like, no, you need to read the book. So over the weekend, I literally just read the entire book. My Kindle's actually in time out right now because I spent literally, I read a book in the whole, I was like, it's crazy. Kind of can't come in this much faster. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Like, my reading speed increased. That's so true. That's why I like the purchase so much.

Starting point is 00:06:08 I'm like, I can read 20 more books a year. Yeah. No, I, yeah. I'm really excited to like become a book person, especially just like over summer. and have something to do that's not my phone. And I've been doing it at night too. Yeah. I actually feel like a huge difference.

Starting point is 00:06:22 Like even though I can only read like a few pages before I like fall asleep. But it makes, I feel like it makes such a difference. And that's the best part with the Kindle is it's light. Well, that's what I was to say my husband loves it. Because like in the car, I used to like turn the light on when he was driving or like at night I'd have my lamp on.

Starting point is 00:06:36 Yeah. I know. I've got my Kindle. He's like, I love it. It's a win for everyone. Yeah. Do you have a purchase that you? I was sure.

Starting point is 00:06:43 I probably would have set a humidifier. my sleep has completely changed. I actually need to buy one. I've been getting bloody noses. Okay, yeah. It's dry. Try. Yeah. Because I was like, you know, I was like, oh, a humidifier.

Starting point is 00:06:56 Like, yeah. Like, the only person I knew about a humidifier is like my mother-in-law. Like, no one has a humidifier. And then I bought one and now I have one in every single room in my house. And anytime I'm sleeping, like, even when I'm traveling, I'm like, oh, I don't have my humidifier. I need the stats on this. Like, what is, what is like so good about it?

Starting point is 00:07:11 It makes me able to breathe through my nose, like, way better. Do you have it close to you? I have it. On my nightstand. Okay. Like shooting in the air. Okay. So it's like in like close proximity to you.

Starting point is 00:07:21 Because I've always wondered like you would need it relatively close. I feel like. Right. Yeah. I feel like. I don't know. That's just how I've always done it. Okay.

Starting point is 00:07:28 Great. No, that's actually on my to do list. I have one like in my safe for later and my Amazon that I need to. It is. I have to check out. This is your sign. I love that. I think my most random one would honestly be these little like they're anti-naja little

Starting point is 00:07:45 like smelly, sick things. I got them originally last year because we were like vacationing on a lake on the boat all day and I was getting like really seasick and nauseous for some reason, which I, but it was mainly, it wasn't while I was on the boat, but after, it's like, do you know like get off? Like sea legs. Yes. I was getting it so bad. And I was like, I never had had that before. So I had this little thing and also I would use it when I would fly because I get anxious sometimes. So I would just like breathe it in if I like felt claustrophobic or any form of like I have light anxiety. It's literally the best thing. It's just like sniffed this little thing and it like send it to me. Seriously send it to me. It's literally like it's a four bucks for this little stick and it I still

Starting point is 00:08:29 have them. I ended up buying like eight more when I got pregnant because just it's right. It's rid of the nausea and I have them in every purse. It's literally I had one. They're still in the rooms because I haven't moved them in every room in the house. I have one. Because when I was would feel nausea. I would be like, I need it. I need it. There's only one like on my coffee table. And the living room, it's the two remotes and then the little nodges thing in like my little necessities. Really.

Starting point is 00:08:55 That's hilarious. I need the link like ASAP. We'll link all of these. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. There we go. So you all can have our essentials too.

Starting point is 00:09:04 That's a great idea. I love that. Sweet. Okay. I want to start kind of just like a little bit more background about you guys for our love and drops that might not. know kind of your history and that you guys have really just like been on the internet for like so long.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Can you give me and our listeners kind of your backstory? Yeah. We'll do like the quick like well quickish summary because it can get really long because we've been doing this for seriously so long. But long, long time ago YouTube didn't exist. My mom was doing hairstyles on all of us girls. We have a lot of sisters. And started posting on a blog and that blog turned into hyperlinking YouTube videos.

Starting point is 00:09:49 It was just like a place to put videos. And then you would like link it in your blog. It was like a storage website. Like that's kind of what my mom was treating it as. Like, oh, I'm going to film these videos and I'm just going to put it on YouTube. Yes. It's just like a place to house them. Not like a platform.

Starting point is 00:10:02 Like seriously, family videos and like cat videos. Nothing else was on there. And then they started getting views. And then people started posting more regularly on YouTube as like a platform. And so my mom. started posting more and more on there and it sort of became like a career for her, which was so unexpected. Like, just never expected it. And we were the models for the hairstyles. So that's how we kind of got started on YouTube. And then after several years of being on her channel, there was enough

Starting point is 00:10:29 of an audience that was curious about what we were like. There was a lot of people that didn't even know we were twins because it was only one kid. For every hairstyle, it was like the back of our heads. So like they thought it was one kid. And we didn't, they should reveal our names or anything. Like nobody really knew who we were. So when we hit 13 and we were like, you know, the legally could have an account on YouTube. Like 13 was like the age that you had to have an account. We started our own. Yeah. And the rest is kind of the rest is right. We've been posting every Wednesday at 4 p.m. Central time since 2013. And then prior to that, my mom started in 2009. So I think it's been like, what? What is that? We were nine and now we're 26. So whatever. So whatever the math is.

Starting point is 00:11:08 Yeah. Wait, that's insane. Yeah. It's a long, it's a long journey. But it's like the best thing ever. We always talk about how like I think we were maybe one of the first families to have multi-generational like YouTube channels or like influencers. Like my mom was an influencer and then we were an influencer. So I think we were maybe one of the first on YouTube. Yeah, that did that. It's kind of an interesting like concept.

Starting point is 00:11:30 Wait, that's actually so crazy because I've honest like I mean, I've obviously like known you guys on social media for so long and I know that you have been doing YouTube for so long. Yeah. I had no clue it was that long. Yeah. And consistent. like literally every Wednesday. Like I, you know, some people are like, oh, I've been on, but it's like a YouTube

Starting point is 00:11:46 video here that now we're like, we are, I will give it to us. We are consistent. We're consistent. Like two Wednesdays, maybe one. And I don't even know how many years have been doing YouTube for. Yeah, we've done a really good job. It's crazy. But we also love it.

Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah. I think that plays a big part. I was just going to say like how, how are you still having like fun doing? Like, how are you enjoying it still? We never took it like so, so seriously. Like our production is like very cow. like very similar to like this where it's just like you know hang out it's just like more like a hang out I think it also helps that we film our life so it's not like we're creating a scripted thing or

Starting point is 00:12:25 anything like that that where you could feel like you're getting burnout for us it's just we live our life and we just film it so it's really a constant creation because obviously we're still living our lives yeah like we are just showing whatever is happening all the time yeah um so that's probably why we're, and then also we do it together. I'm just going to help the aspect of like you guys getting to. Yeah. It's like you ever like argue? Of course.

Starting point is 00:12:49 I mean, I would say that we're pretty good business partners though, like for the most part. But we're also sisters. We have our strengths. We each have our strengths and then we each have our weaknesses. Yeah. But we're definitely sisters. Everyone always says this because we don't usually, we actually, I can't say that we've

Starting point is 00:13:04 ever really like argued ever like on content because like what would be the point of that. But everyone's always like, do you guys fight? Of course. Yeah. Of course we do. We're sisters. We're twins. We literally share face.

Starting point is 00:13:15 We fight a lot. But we also don't a lot. Like we get along so well. We know each other so well. Yeah. That it's like kumbaya most of the time. I love that. How do you decide what you want to share and what you want to keep private?

Starting point is 00:13:29 Well, that's a great question. We really share most everything. We just started sharing everything like from a young age. But as we've gotten older and we've both been married and now I have my son. The dynamic has changed just a little bit because I'm trying to protect other people's privacy. Like they're not as comfortable sharing everything as I am. I don't share my son on social media. Like there's just a level of like protection.

Starting point is 00:13:51 So it has changed the older we've gotten. But I would say that like us two, we share almost everything. Yeah, I think it's more about like what we choose. Like we chose this and we also chose to like be open about our lives and the information about our lives. To me, we now have people who watch us to learn things. like what does a marriage look like? What does this look like? How to use a tampon.

Starting point is 00:14:14 What's your period? Like how to put your contacts in and stuff like that. So we're so educational from this, from my point of view. I'm like, why would I hide something? Because it might help somebody else or like help them learn how to do something. We've gotten so much feedback too of all of our videos like that. Like we're people's big sisters basically like helping them through things. So to me I'm not afraid to share anything.

Starting point is 00:14:34 But there are some times where we're like a little bit slower to put it out there. So we can figure it out ourselves. before like, yeah. No, I love that. Yeah, you want to make sure it's like, it's productive, like, what you're sharing. Because I get people that ask me that a lot with just like having a mental health podcast or like, how do you know, like, when you want to talk about things? And I think it's just like when I know that it's like productive and I know like the reasons

Starting point is 00:14:58 why I'm deciding to share. Completely agree. Because you have to know how to answer questions. And if you don't know how to answer those questions, then like, there's no point in saying it, I guess. It's not, like you said, productive to anybody, including yourself. Yeah. Have you guys dealt with and how do you deal with the noise of social media?

Starting point is 00:15:19 Because I feel like I'm sure you've experienced as you've gone through this for so long, the influx of hate and negative comments and things and stuff has definitely just really kicked up. I feel like over the past couple years. How is that for you? It's really interesting because we really didn't get. hate like it didn't really exist. I'm obviously it's always existed but like we didn't see it as much. Yeah. And then I feel that the trajectory changed after COVID. Kind of everything changed after

Starting point is 00:15:51 COVID. And that's when it really hit us. But we'd been doing it for a long time before that. So we didn't really have a preparation for the onslaught of hate that came after COVID. So we had to learn way later in life. We handle it differently too, like between the two of us. Like Bailey has a little, she takes a little bit more to heart. So like some of the ways that she deals with that is a little bit different than the way like I would deal with like comments and things. Yeah, I definitely struggled between the two of us. The most Brooklyn's always had this like really good attitude of just it doesn't affect me. I just believe if you can put myself and that's it. If you can put your phone down and it all goes away like theoretically like how real is that hate.

Starting point is 00:16:32 You know like if your family and your friends and your life is like on a positive trajectory and it's just like the internet that's ripping you to shreds first then it probably isn't like that serious you know what I mean like it would if the if it was that serious the people around you would also be disagreeing with your choices you know what I mean like so I don't know I just personally I'm just like well they're probably going through something like I'm just gonna but for my phone down I'm a people pleaser yeah I like everyone to like me like that's what I desire and so if I think someone doesn't like me or doesn't like something that I've done or misunderstand something I say it just eats eats eats at me yeah

Starting point is 00:17:06 So I really had to put some boundaries in there of understanding and like some mental health protections. Yeah. Because it does get dark and it can get dark for literally anybody who gets hate. It's a little scary. Yeah. Something I've been really working on lately is actually eating well during the week. Not just on the weekends when I have more time, but on the regular basis. Like on a busy Tuesday when I have back-to-back stuff happening and the last thing I want to do is figure out what to cook.

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Starting point is 00:23:28 filming and recording and doing everything. How have you guys balanced that? Has it always been easy? Was it ever hard? It's not always been easy. I don't think. I mean like it's been easy. Oh yeah, but I know why you think that. I just put my phone down. I like put my do not disturb on. She's so good. Like again with the boundaries, she can just like put a boundary in and follow through with it. And me, I love this job. I love it. It is my passion. and I think that's where I have a problem is because I love it. I constantly want to be doing it. You're like even when she's off, she's thinking about it.

Starting point is 00:24:05 I'm thinking about it. I'm planning for it. But it's because I love it that I want to do it all the time. And so she finds it really easy and I find it really hard to like put that separation. But it hasn't always been easy. We have gotten a lot better now that she has her son with schedules. Before this, it was just kind of film everything all the time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:26 And there wasn't so much of a balance. now we've gotten really good about, this is the best part about having a partner in your business is like she will take a day on and then I'll take a day. And so we actually get about half the week where we can kind of unplug from posting what we're doing, which is again, really lucky that we have each other. Well, part of the problem is we post daily on Instagram stories. So we're based in Snapchat. So we're basically posting like daily vlogs like on Instagram stories and Snapchat.

Starting point is 00:24:54 So that's really what takes the biggest toll I think because it's like, It's like every day all day, all the time. So that's where we do really good about switching off. Yeah. And it's helped a lot because she can spend time with her son, obviously. And then I get to take a little bit of a break too, which was definitely needed. And it's just like the perfect combo right now. So it got really easy after we put in his schedule.

Starting point is 00:25:16 Yeah. But yeah, it can get. I just plug in my do not to scrub. Yeah. They don't like boundaries. They really do something. I know. They really do something.

Starting point is 00:25:24 I'm the same as you though. Yeah. With this podcast and I have a nonprofit. But like I feel like I'm really, it gets hard for me too because it's something that I love and like it's I'm so passionate about it and I wanted to grow and I want to do all of these fun things. And it's really hard for my brain to be like, no. Like I'm really curious when I go on Matt leave, like how I don't think I'm going to have time to think about anything else. Um, besides caring for a newborn. But even like before I give birth, like I'm going to take some time off. But I'm already like, I need to like be very firm with myself. Yeah. Yeah. I just said like, like, out of town. I need to tell like everyone. No one sweet to me. Yeah. Well, we grew up in a productive house. Like if you're not being productive, you're not doing something basically. Like it's like, you have to be productive all the time. Yeah. And so I wonder the same thing. I'm like, what would like a maternity leave look like? Would I be itching to be working or am I like going to

Starting point is 00:26:18 want to be with my baby? I loved being with her baby. Like it, like you just like your brain shuts off in a way like it never has before. And you're just in this like beautiful. of newborn happiness and joy. Like I know people call it the newborn trenches, but that was not my experience. It was like very, like, it was the most joyful seven weeks of my life. And I wish, like, I had even extended it longer

Starting point is 00:26:41 so that I could have had, like, just because they're only that little for so long. I know. I just know it's going to be bliss. It is bliss. You're not going to be thinking about anything other than baby. No. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:50 You still think about work. Like I still would tune in every once in a while, but it wasn't like, I just didn't feel the drive. drive to like go back until I think I was maybe like, yeah, until later. Yeah. Okay. How, how long did you take off? I took, I think I came back at eight weeks. Okay. So I think like typical maternity leave is usually like 12. Okay. But I took like eight and then came back. Yeah. It was like a loose. I'm trying to figure that out. Loose eight weeks. And then it was like kind of in and out a little bit for a couple more

Starting point is 00:27:20 weeks. But yeah. Um, then I feel like that we should just kind of dive into. Um, um, fertility and motherhood. Oh, yes. And all that stuff. You guys have really, I feel like opened up on socials just about both of your experiences with fertility and infertility. I think, I honestly think I would love for you guys to give a little bit of your backgrounds, both of what you've been going through.

Starting point is 00:27:48 Brooklyn, if you want to start and share. Well, mine is, obviously, I have a son. And my husband and I, before we had decided we wanted to get pregnant, I had found a lump. And so that was like a really big concern. And I went into the doctor and, you know, took seven doctors to finally diagnose it as a skein's gland cyst, which is really uncommon. And I had to go to like this big specialist and go get to surgery. And it took a big, like it just made me put my whole reproductive. ideas is like into perspective a little bit because I wasn't like really thinking about kids like really soon but just the idea that something like could have been wrong and like I potentially couldn't have had kids and like just not knowing the all the unknowns around that just like put a jolt into my system and so my husband are like okay we're gonna we're gonna have a baby like we're gonna try so we went on like we went and hiked up to the base camp of Everest and then like on our

Starting point is 00:28:49 way back just a casual fun fact by the way it's like kind of important because I'm kind of convinced That's like part of why I got pregnant so fast. I mean, they say it's like can't be healing. And there's like a place you can pray for fertility at the top, like a part of the mountain. And so like my cousin and I were like jokingly like whatever, like did the ritual. And then we both got pregnant like within two weeks of getting home from Everest. So not to say that.

Starting point is 00:29:14 I don't know. Someone needs to study that. Because maybe there's something going on there. But yeah, we, I mean, I, that was my experience. I know Bailey doesn't love it when I say this. But, like, I barely had to think before I was pregnant. Yeah. And I had a great pregnancy.

Starting point is 00:29:29 And then when I, when I was pregnant, I decided to give birth out of a hospital. Okay. So I did a birth at a birthing center with a midwife and a doula and no epidural. Like, nothing on me, nothing touching me. Like, it was amazingly painful and amazingly, like, joyful at the same time. And, like, it was. Had you always wanted to do that? Or was that just something that, like, came to mind?

Starting point is 00:29:53 No. I, we had always talked about it. Like, just as a family, we'd always been like, oh, that would be so cool to, like, feel to, like, you know, experience something like that. And then this, like, as I was pregnant, I just, I get anxious with doctors. Like, it makes me anxious. What is it called, like, white, white coat syndrome or something where you're like, I don't know, my blood pressure, like, skyrocket.

Starting point is 00:30:13 Like, I just did not do good. Like, it literally skyrockets every time she goes to the doctor. I do not do well. So I was like, I think I'm going to do better. Like, birth is such a mental game. Like, I'm going to do so much better if I do it, like, the way. that I can control it. So yeah, I did an out of hospital birth. It was amazing. They sent me home four hours after I had my son and I was in my bed and got to sleep in my bed and it was amazing.

Starting point is 00:30:35 And how long ago? How old is your son? He's 16 months. Okay. So almost a year and a half. Yeah. Yeah. So it's been a year and a half. And how was postpartum for you? You know, I, it was pretty good. It was pretty good. You know, I know like a lot of women struggle. so I was prepared to go through a lot of like emotional roller coasters. I will say I had. Yeah, what you're not saying is. No, can I say this part? Like you, there was a couple weeks where after he was born, it was like bliss, you know.

Starting point is 00:31:07 Yeah. And then there was a part where it just crushed and burned. Like one day specifically, I remember 11 days postpartum. Like I can specifically remember the day. Oh, wow. It, like, I just started having a. an anxiety attack. I thought my son had thrush. I'll get this whole thing. And it's just like my emotions. You know, like my postpartum like like, like you're just so protective and like, I don't know,

Starting point is 00:31:31 crash out, burnout like insane. My poor husband. Like my mom had to come like rescue me. Like it was like horrible. I guess. Also, you worst. You were like there was a part of postpartum where I mean, I was over there every single day. I wanted to see my nephew. I wanted to see my sister. And probably two or three weeks postpartum, I remember going over there and she was not acting like herself at all, like at all. And I was worried. Because I know that postpartum depression is a real thing. And so I went back the next day and checked on her and she was still acting really funny. Wouldn't get off the couch, wouldn't like interact with anyone that was over there. And I remember sitting down and I was like, I'm going to stay here and watch him and you're going to go do something because you're not acting like. You're

Starting point is 00:32:19 not acting like yourself, like obviously something's wrong. Even if it's not hormone related, you are literally not sleeping. Yeah. And like they say like actual torture is like not sleeping, not eating. Like, and then you had hormones on top of it. Like you're actually kind of living torture. Yeah. But I, to like clarify, that was like a very brief stint.

Starting point is 00:32:38 No, no, it wasn't for very long. Yeah. Like I feel like in the grand scheme of things, like from all the stories I've heard, my postpartum experience was really good. Yeah. Like that was just a short brief stint. And then it was like I, I just. just like my hormone shipped and then they like came back up and I was like fine.

Starting point is 00:32:51 It was better after I got involved. But I probably would have said it was more postpartum rage than it was postpartum depression. That's a real thing. Like your patience goes out though and no. And you're just and you're so protective. Like it's crazy like how territorial you get. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:05 I think it's good to have someone that knows you so well. That's not your partner that can step in like me. I could go in there and say you're not acting like yourself and you need to go do something or how to help them get out of the. funk because I think you are in baby bliss and I think you are so like razor focus, laser focused on baby and yourself and your partner and your house and your home that sometimes it does take kind of an outside perspective. I mean, I also had like the best support system like Bailey said.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Like I had my sister. I had my mom who like stayed with us for the first like week and a half and then like didn't leave till I told her to leave. And my husband who was literally changing my diapers and the baby's diapers. Like, you know, when you have that support system, it makes me. huge difference. Do you have like a rotation plan for? We have to, we need to walk through it. We got a little bit of time, but I have been thinking that we need to. It's helpful to know, I think. Yeah, someone told me that that and even just like house chores. Oh yeah. That needs to

Starting point is 00:34:04 just be something like who's going to, who's going to notice we're out of toilet paper? Who's going to notice we're out of the trash bag or who's going to change this? Like someone that like the jobs just need to be like set so that everyone knows what's going on. It's honestly cooking. That was like such a thing like where is our food coming from and all i think because it's like if if because you especially if like your husband is like wanting to be involved then it's like well you are both so in baby zone like who where is the where is the food coming from that's like such a big one i'm not kidding when i say you make a list of things that you want done and just leave it on the kitchen counter because people like me feel so helpless i can't feed baby i can maybe change a diaper but there's so many

Starting point is 00:34:48 there who like can do that. I would rather be helpful in other ways. And it was like I was constantly bothering Brooklyn. Oh, give me a list. What groceries do you need? When do you want done around the house? Because that made me feel helpful. Yeah. Like I'm not kidding. Anyone who's postpartum make a list. There are friends who would come in and just check those things off the list. I would have, I would do it for any of my friends. Yeah. I was doing it for her. Like your protein balls saved my life. Oh, what can I say? Because like where is the food coming from? That's so good. I love that.

Starting point is 00:35:18 that how do you feel do you feel like your like perception of yourself has changed at all since becoming a mom dramatically everything about my life has changed my perspective on life my perspective on the relationships that I have with other people with myself like I it's just I don't know how to put it into words like yeah there is just like this perfect little human who is half you and half the person you love. And it's really helped me specifically with like self-criticism or like my husband's criticizing himself because I remind him all the time like my son, first example, doesn't like love his freckles. He's always talking about how he wants he hates his freckles. My son has freckles. I'm like, okay, well, you know, this is something that we have to talk about. Like we can't say that

Starting point is 00:36:08 anymore because if you say that, you're projecting that onto him. Yeah. And he's going to grow up thinking that his freckles are, you know, he's not supposed to like his freckles, you know. So that's like a lot of that like we're my husband and I are just working on like how we talked about ourselves because you know our kids are half us and they're you know they look like us and they act like us and if we criticize ourselves then we're in a way criticizing them yeah and so just like trying to work on that kind of stuff um i also think it really brought out your like your feminine what were you i don't know what the word is your comforting like nurturing nurturing side we're not naturally like very touchy people or words of aff people

Starting point is 00:36:47 very much we didn't grow up that way. We're very acts of service and that kind of stuff. So seeing her with her son, I do see like a completely different side of, of this nurturing, just loving and just really sweet, which I think totally changed, at least my perspective of you. It's because seriously, like, you could just explode with the amount of love that you have. You just are like pent up with just like aggressive love for them all the time. My best friend yesterday, she lives at Austin and she has a seven months. old now and he's just on the camera the whole time and she literally was just like eating his arm and she was like I had to stop myself because I was like I was starting to eat him and like so

Starting point is 00:37:27 cut his arm too hard. It's like you just could devour them. And that newborn smell like I'm not his mom and even I'm like that newborn baby smell. Oh it's bliss. It's the bad. Are there any boundaries that you put in place when you were pregnant postpartum? even now today that you think would be helpful for myself and other expecting moms to know. Yeah, give us the tea. What do we need to know? You know, after all that talk about me being a boundary setter, I didn't set any boundaries. I don't feel like I set any boundaries.

Starting point is 00:38:04 No, no, that's not true. I feel like I had to answer these questions for her too because I see it from the outside. We didn't do sugar. Like, we didn't introduce sugar. Like, we didn't because I didn't want that to be like some of his first food. I wanted to be more like vegetables and, you know, whatever. So that was kind of a big thing. It was like I didn't want him to be introduced to sugar, like caffeine.

Starting point is 00:38:24 Yeah. At it like a little age. That's about it. Like I let people kiss my baby. Like I love people hold my baby. I don't know. I didn't set like very many boundaries in that way because I just felt like I wanted everyone to love him as much as I loved him. So I was like, here, like love all my baby.

Starting point is 00:38:41 But I don't know. To be fair, it was all family. That's true. That's true. It was close. siblings and parents pretty much. only. So I feel like it would have changed had it been outsiders and friends around the whole time during maternity leave and stuff. It was mostly just me and mom. Yeah. I'm like, I know.

Starting point is 00:38:59 I don't think I did anything crazy. I can't remember now. I'm like, did I don't feel like I did. I like, I never had any issues like letting someone like watch him or anything. Like I never, that was never like my personal boundaries. But I know a lot of people have like different roles and things that they set. That's honestly the biggest thing I'm learning and people just have literally so many opinions about like actually everything. I guess my biggest boundary would have been like what I say goes. That would have been my biggest boundary. Like yeah, it doesn't matter if your boundary is like no one kisses my baby and I also want them to wear blue every day. Like it just doesn't matter. Like what matters is that people respect you as the parent. Yeah. And so what you say goes.

Starting point is 00:39:39 I would say that is a boundary for me. Like if someone is not respecting my rules, I'll straight up tell them if you don't respect my rules that you don't get to have my son unsupervised. Like that is just how it goes. Like, because I have these things that I want for him. And if you're not going to respect that, you know, that's okay. But like, we're not going to then, you know, foster that time. So that's so good and so valid because you want like, especially your, like family, which is who probably is with him the most.

Starting point is 00:40:07 Yeah. Yeah. To respect what you have going on. I love that. That's a good answer. Yeah, I'm definitely learning about like, just opinions on the internet. Something that has really surprised me about gooder sunglasses is how much I reach for them for everything, not just workouts. I got them thinking, okay, these are my active sunglasses that I wear when I will work out if I'm outside, getting sweaty on a walk, but they're just kind of my sunglasses. They come everywhere with me. Let me start with the active side of it because that's honestly

Starting point is 00:40:40 what sets them apart. Gooder makes what they call active eyewear for anyone, and the no slip, no bounce thing is so real. They have this special grip-coated frame that keeps them completely in place when you're sweating. So whether I'm on the run or doing something outdoors or just rushing around in the heat, I'm never stopping to push them back up on my nose or readjust them. That sounds like such a small thing until you've dealt with sunglasses that slide around constantly, and you realize how distracting it actually is. With gooder, I just put them on and forget about them. And they do their job the whole time.

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Starting point is 00:43:54 Your energy is different. You feel uncomfortable. You're just not your best. And it can be really hard to pinpoint why. For me, being consistent with gut health support has honestly made such a noticeable difference in how I feel every day. That's why I've been really into Ollie lately. They make these science-back supplements specifically for digestive health, and honestly,

Starting point is 00:44:15 they've become such an easy part of my routine because they're actually delicious. They're gummies, so it doesn't feel like a chore to take them, and it genuinely feels like a little treat. Which sounds ridiculous, but it's actually what makes me consistent with it in a way I haven't been with other things. What I love about Ali is the range they have. Their daily probiotics support your digestive health, and keep things regular. And they have fiber gummies that are great for the whole family. So it's not just something for you. It's something you can actually do together with your kids too, which I think is so cool. And then if you're someone who deals with that uncomfortable, overly full feeling after eating or

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Starting point is 00:45:35 of things that are fine but not exciting. That changed a lot when I got the breezily high-rise cargo pant from Lulu Lemon. I wore them the other day when my day started with running a bunch of errands and ended with going out for dinner. And I did not once feel like I needed to go home and change. That's actually a big deal for me because I'm usually very aware of what I'm wearing and whether it's appropriate for the situation I'm in. And with these, I just forgot about it entirely in the best way. The fabric, though, is what gets me. It's made with Swift. which is Lulu Lemon's performance fabric so it's lightweight, four-way stretch, sweat-wicking, and quick drying. But it genuinely does not look or feel like a performance gear at all. It looks like

Starting point is 00:46:17 a really elevated intentional pant that you find in a boutique somewhere. It drapes beautifully and has this relaxed polish vibe that works with basically anything already in your wardrobe. And the cargo detail is subtle enough that it actually adds something to the look instead of feeling overly utilitarian. I've had some people ask me where the pants are from, and when I say it's Little Lemon, they're always a little surprised because they don't read as workout clothes at all. They just read as a really great pant. I wear Lululemon and you should too. Go to Lululemon.com right now. New styles drop all the time and the colors go fast so you don't want to wait. If there's something that doesn't work for you, free returns always. That's little lemon.com.

Starting point is 00:47:00 Lululemon.com. How was your experience with sharing stuff about that in people's? I, really, like, let me it. I, well, I decided very early on I wasn't going to. I actually should be asking Bailey these questions because you don't look. It's true. It's me that looks. No, she didn't.

Starting point is 00:47:19 Look, we know what the internet can look like. And we heard from so many people about mom shaming. And how what could be a nice. group of women turns into a really, really vicious group of women. Like it comes to kids. The second you give birth is like, because when you're pregnant, I mean, everybody is so lovely to you. Like nobody is mean to you when you're pregnant.

Starting point is 00:47:43 Like, if they are, that's crazy. Yeah. But like, and then you have the baby and the whole world is mean to you. It's like the flip switches and it's like everything you're doing on the internet. Yeah. Everything you're doing is like the wrong decision. And I think it's just because obviously, and I think it's valid. Moms all have their ways that they do things and everyone is valid and whatever they think is best for their baby.

Starting point is 00:48:06 That's what I believe. But it is really difficult for, I literally watched her deal with, even just the slightest glimpse of something with her son, Archer. It would be just chaos. I remember one time we filmed a video where you were hand washing bottles. Oh, yeah. And that was a whole thing just about whether or not you should hand wash versus... whether they're like sterilize versus dishwashers. Because I put it in the dishwasher and then people were like, well, that's not like safe.

Starting point is 00:48:35 And then you're supposed to hand wash them. But then people were like, well, but the soap that you're using. It was like so many opinions. You know, there's just so many opinions. It's like, I don't know. There's just, it doesn't matter what you do. There's a lot of opinions. So, yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:47 I chose not to share my son. My son's face online. And I only really talk about motherhood from like my perspective. So like what I'm experiencing or like, I did this today with Archer, not so much like him. Yeah. Which has helped because it gives just like less for people to comment on. And I think like I'm good at setting boundaries and I'm good at like brushing off hate comments.

Starting point is 00:49:10 But if someone were to say something nasty about my son, like I would come unglued. So like I'm also just not going to put my vulnerable. Like I'm not going to put that out there. I don't even want to introduce that like so that people don't like I don't have to deal with that. The mom shaming. It is real. It is a real, real problem. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:24 I mean, I see it with like my girlfriends. And now I'm on like the pregnancy side of TikTok and all of the socials. And it definitely is very interesting. I do feel like a lot of the comments are like from people that like aren't even moms half the time, which I'm like, oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So that's something that I'm just like a learning and preparing myself for.

Starting point is 00:49:56 I mean, I already am. I mean, luckily, I feel like I'm, I'm kind of in the same boat that you were. And, like, it's pretty positive. Like, I feel like I have, like, a nice little corner of the internet that, you know, knows me. That's nice. You know, that's my intentions with stuff. And I know you guys have that as well.

Starting point is 00:50:13 But yeah, definitely, I feel like when I open up sometimes, I'm like, I have to, I have to go into it knowing. I'm like, I actually don't care what people say because I know my intention behind it. Right. That's, I feel so confident in what you're doing. Yes. I was about to say it's like when you know, like, You love your baby and you're doing what you think is best.

Starting point is 00:50:30 And like, then there's a lot less room for it to, like, hurt or, like, sink is deep. Yeah. So that always helps. Like, you know, when you think you're doing the right thing and you're just trying your best. You just like, it's a lot easier to be like, well, I'm trying my best, you know. You're also mom. You just innately know.

Starting point is 00:50:46 It's true. I firmly believe moms just, just no. Yeah. And I say that as not a mother. But, like, I just believe in it, you know? You know what's best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:56 I definitely think there's definitely truth to that. And I always tell myself too, like when I start to freak out about like not knowing, I don't know something. I'm like, our parents like had literally such like a fraction of the resources that we have. So not saying I'm not going to go into motherhood like unprepared. I don't think I'm ever going to be prepared enough. So I need to just accept that and do. They figured it out, you know, like they figured it. fine. My mom says the same thing I was trying. I raised you guys. When we were kids, people

Starting point is 00:51:31 didn't wear seat belts. And then she's going off about when she's a kid, she's like, you guys will be fine. Yeah. It would be so fine. It's not everything is not that serious, you know. Yeah. Some things are, but not everything. How do you know, I guess are you good at asking for support when you need it versus like pushing through because I'm getting the vibe that both of you are very just like doers and very much achievers are you threes on the enneagram? Absolutely, girl. Figured.

Starting point is 00:52:02 Three minutes. Two minutes. You have a two main three. Yeah. Opposite but the same. But how has that been for you? I mean, it seems like you have a great support system. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:12 It may not even be a thing for you. But have you had to like struggled with having to ask for support or help? The biggest, I think the biggest like part that I struggled with was, having to come to terms with the fact that I was going to work and I wanted to work and my husband also wanted to work, which meant I needed to find some sort of help for my son during the day. And like, you know, that's so common. You know, kids go to daycare. Kids have nannies. Like that is so, so common. But it's just like doesn't matter. You still feel guilty as a mom. Like you just feel like you should be able to be in seven places at once. And like that is, that is,

Starting point is 00:52:51 that is what ate at me the most and where I had the hardest time admitting that I like needed help. Like we tried my husband and I tried. Like I was so determined. I'm like we can figure it out. Like we'll just trade off days and like I work from home. And so for like three months of his life, you know, I went back to work a week. So it was probably whatever like maybe a month and a half. We tried to just do this like dual thing. And it just inevitably felt like I was maybe doing my son a disservice by not, you know, like we were only able to give him like half of our time and attention versus someone. giving him like all their time and attention. So inevitably I, you know, I had to admit defeat. And we have a nanny now. And it was honestly the best decision I ever made. Like she has, she loves my son. She is amazing. Like it has been so great seeing somebody else be able to like step in his life and teach him things. Like even I can't teach. And like it's just been so awesome and like such a great resource. But it's also sometimes villainized on the internet. And so like that combo of two things like my mom guilt and then also people potentially, like villainizing that makes it like really sensitive. And so that was probably where I struggled the

Starting point is 00:53:56 most like having to admit like I cannot do everything and be everywhere all at once. That's good to hear. Yeah. I already know that's going to be something that I struggle with. And I actually was just talking to my mom about this yesterday. I was like daycare kid. Like both my parents worked my whole life. So I did like, you know, the entire like preschool and then kindergarten through whenever until like I had all of like dance after school. I was going to after school daycare my whole life. And I'm like we were talking about it. She was like that was like the best like obviously they were working so they needed to help. But they were also like that was like the best thing for you. Like I'm an only child and people are like you are the least only child like

Starting point is 00:54:39 person I've ever met. And I think it's just because I was really so socialized as a kid. Like I mean Granted, like at home I was probably like bored out of my mind. I learned how to just like play by myself. You entertain yourself. Yeah. Keep myself, you know, entertained and quiet. But I really like, it really did like shape me. And I feel like I'm like really thankful for like getting that time.

Starting point is 00:55:02 And I feel like hearing stories like yours like of kids who still have really great relationships with their parents even though their parents worked is part of what helped me like understand that. Because it just feels like. Yeah. Oh my gosh, my kids aren't even going to be able to bond with me during the day and like, is it going to affect our relationship? Are they going to be bitter that I wasn't home with them?

Starting point is 00:55:22 You know, all these thoughts are running through your brain. It's like, a mom, that's all you think about all the time. It's like, what am I doing wrong? Yeah. And so it's always nice to hear, I think, stories like that where it's like reassuring, okay, well, there are people who do this every day. Like, there are plenty of people who have dual income households. Like both parents have to work.

Starting point is 00:55:37 And I think we're getting to that time now, especially with just women wanting to be in the work force and actually have a career outside of being a mother. And I think we're getting to a really healthy place with that. I'm really excited about to like step into being a mom. And how cool too. Like I will die on this hill of like I think I feel like I gain so much from watching my mom work hard. Like even still today. My mom is like such a hard worker. But I look at that. I'm like I'm like I'm excited to have my kids one day, like see how hard I work and like to see that work ethic and like drive and hope that one day they want to like experience that in their career too. Like so I just, I think there's.

Starting point is 00:56:28 I totally look at it kind of the wrong way. And when I, when I think of my mom, I don't think like obviously my parents worked and, you know, I was either home alone or I daycare and it was fine. That's just like what that was life. Yeah. And it's just, I think it's quality over quantity too. Yeah, 100%. That's what my mom told me.

Starting point is 00:56:43 She was like, it's quality over quantity, Brooklyn. Like, don't. Because she, I mean, my mom has like been so great with me. Okay, shout at mom. Yeah. Shout out mom. Shout out. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:51 Shout out all the moms in the world. But she literally was like, it's quality over quantity. Like, it really is. Like, it matters more that you are present when you're present than like. And sometimes it can help you be a better parent to be able to have something for yourself. Like some time to yourself. Mm-hmm. Or just doing something.

Starting point is 00:57:08 That's so true. Else. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree with that too. You need, you need that separation. for sure. Bailey.

Starting point is 00:57:15 Oh, yay. Your turn. On next week's episode of The Squeeze. I totally went into it with the expectation that I would get pregnant right away. I would not wish infertility on anybody because going through it has quite literally been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I've never felt more alone in my life and now I'm going to cry. I've never felt more alone before. And it was really scary.

Starting point is 00:57:42 Sorry. isolating feeling because I have a twin sister and I've never been alone before and I couldn't share it with her. It was something that she couldn't really understand. No one knew that we were struggling at all. And so we started to frequently get comments about me secretly being pregnant or body shaming comments about me looking pregnant or things like that. Often it was every day all day long. I was getting DMs with people congratulating me on my pregnancy and my baby. And it was all while I was almost a year into infertility.

Starting point is 00:58:21 And I remember like just absolutely breaking down to my husband. I was like, it's one thing to go through this. It is another thing to have people, I don't even know, projecting a life you want so badly, I guess. Like they want it so bad and I can't even blame them because I want it so bad. You know, like they want it for me. I want it for me. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

The Squeeze - Brooklyn and Bailey: Growing Together Through Different Seasons Part 1

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