The Squeeze - Cameron Rogers: The Honest Side of Motherhood

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

In this week's episode, Tay sits down with motherhood and mental health creator, podcast host of Conversations with Cam, and founder Cameron Rogers! Cameron, who is currently pregnant with her third child, opens up about the symptoms she's experienced across her pregnancies, why she swears by pelvic floor therapy, and how every pregnancy and postpartum experience has looked completely different for her. She talks about being very open about her anxiety and intrusive thoughts journey and how medication has helped her live a fuller life. Cameron gets candid about her postpartum experiences and her postpartum depression journey, and shares advice for women navigating pregnancy or postpartum right now. She also talks about what she tried to put in place before having a baby, including division of labor conversations, her experiences with breastfeeding and placenta encapsulation, and how she prioritizes her mental health with kids. Cameron then shares all about her journal, the intention behind naming it "quiet your mind and busy your hands," and what healing truly means to her!Be sure to follow Cameron https://instagram.com/cameronoaksrogers/!Watch Tay’s episode on Conversations with Cam here: https://youtube.com/watch?v=KuHSyD-LUOUCheck out Cameron’s journals here: https://quiet-your-mind.com/collections/journalTo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/SQUEEZE to claim $10 off your first order.Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code SQUEEZE at oseamalibu.com.Visit https://justingredients.com/SQUEEZE and use code SQUEEZE for 20% off your first order.Go to lululemon.com right now. New styles drop all the time and the colors go fast, so don’t wait. And if something doesn’t work for you, free returns, always.To shop the most wonderful deals for school, check out staples.com/TheSqueeze.Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code SQUEEZE at checkout to get 30% off sitewide during their Summer Sale.Shop Honest on Amazon, Walmart and Target.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Was mental health something for you before your pregnancies? It was something that I now looking back can realize I dealt with anxiety, majority of my life. It wasn't until after college, I ended up getting hit by a car while I was crossing the street and suffering from a really bad concussion. So I was on disability. And that was when I started like journaling and meditating. And I had this idea of leaving my job to do this like Instagram food account.

So when I left to do that, I remember sitting in my neurologist appointment. The doctor was like, do you find that you're anxious? And I was like, no, I left my job. What would I be anxious about? Like, I'm fine. And my mom and I left and she was like, hey, so like, you're very anxious. And I think that was the first time I really like came to terms with it. And so I went on medication.

I started sharing about it. And it was mind blowing to me. The response, literally everyone in my DMs is saying they're experiencing the same thing, but they feel alone. And I felt alone. So like, we're all going through the same thing, but we all feel isolated. I eventually ended up switching medications in that like off period. I had a surprise pregnancy.

So I started my first pregnancy not medicated. And I had never felt anxiety like that in my entire life. And that's when I started searchally. And I've been on that through all pregnancies and postpartum. And I was very open about that because I don't think enough people talk about that. I just found pregnancy to like really suck quite honestly. And I have so much gratitude for the fact that I was able to get pregnant so easily. And I don't like pregnancy.

And like those two things can coexist. I think now I'm in such a better place where like I'm still medicated. I still do the things to like prioritize my mental health. But I also feel like with time I've gotten to a place where like I know what helps me and what hurts me. And I really try to prioritize what helps me. Okay. The fact that we are halfway through July is just crazy. This year has gone by so fast.

I don't know if it's the same for you guys as it is for me. I feel like part of it went by one because I was down for the count during my first trimester and everything. I just feel like I blinked and it was so slow and then just so quick and over. But I definitely feel like this year is just going by so fast. And on the note of pregnancy and motherhood, this episode is super special because I have motherhood and mental health creator podcast host of conversations with Cam and founder Cameron Rogers. Cam is currently pregnant with her third child and I got to ask her all of the questions

and really get to learn about what pregnancy has been like for her. She shares about the symptoms she's experienced across all of her pregnancies, why she swears by pelvic floor therapy, and how every pregnancy and postpartum experience has looked completely different for her. She talks about being very open about her anxiety and intrusive thoughts journey and how medication has helped her live a fuller life. She gets candid about her postpartum experiences and her postpartum depression journey and shares advice for a woman navigating pregnancy or postpartum right now. She also talks about what she tried to put in place before having a baby, including, the division of labor conversations, her experiences with breastfeeding and placenta encapsulation, and how she prioritizes her mental health with kids. Whether you're thinking about pregnancy, you are pregnant, you've had your first, second, third, fourth child. This episode is for you.

Cam shares so many great details. And honestly, even if you're not on that journey right now, it's important for us as friends to know what our pregnant friends and mom friends are going through. I wish I would have been able to listen to this episode when my friends, were pregnant, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Cam, welcome to the squeeze. Hi. I'm so excited. We've literally been talking for like 30 minutes before. No, no, I'm excited to keep yapping, as we've been doing for the past 30 minutes.

But I made you cross your legs because we start each episode off with this jar. It's a game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there and read it to our lemon drops. I love that name for your listeners. It was not fun. What's a compliment that has stuck with you? Oh, God. Are you answering to her or just me?

I will also answer, but I'm like, what is a compliment that has stuck with me? Okay, this is such an easy out. But, like, my older son will sometimes be like, you're such a good mom. Oh. And I'm like, honestly, thank you so much. Like, that to me means more than anyone could ever say.

Like, any other, like, oh, you look so pretty or, like, you know, oh, that was so great, whatever. Yeah. That coming from him. And like when my husband is like out of nowhere, complimentary of just like, you're just the best mom we could ever imagine. Like that is the best compliment I could ever receive. Yeah. No, that's your good answers.

Yeah. I think whenever whatever my husband tells me, like he's proud of me, I'm like, oh, like that is like, I'm like, maybe I am like words of affirmation and like all that stuff. Because I'm every, anytime he says that I'm like, I'm like reset and I'm like good for like years. I had a funny one. I just had a guest on. and they told me that I had the, what was it, the hurts or like the frequency of my voice was like a calming frequency. And they were like you could do like something.

And I feel like a meditation nap. Like, yeah. I look, I feel like I could not do that. I do think you have a calming voice. That's nice. I feel like my voice is annoying. Like, why? I think that's just when you listen, you know, you listen your voice back and you're like too

much. Tell me about my face sometimes. You know when you're doing too many. and your editing and stuff. I'm like, I just don't want to look at myself. Yeah. For a very long time. Yeah. Well, that's why I got Botox originally was because I had just started doing social media. It was back when I did YouTube for a very short little stint, but I was recording myself. And I was, like, so expressive on my face. And I was like, oh, like, this is what I look like. You're talking to the queen. I'm the most expressive person. And I haven't gotten Botox. Yeah. And I have a wonky eyebrow. That will go crazy. I'm sure at some point of this recording. and it drives me insane when I watch it back.

It's so funny. Well, I haven't noticed it. But I've now, obviously, because I'm pregnant and I can get Botox, it's like, so, but it actually, the timing, I will say was nice because I was starting to want, like, I don't get a lot. I do, like, baby talks. Like, I don't get a lot because I don't. I still, like, want to be able to, like, move my eyebrows. But I feel like almost all of this is completely wear it off.

But before, before I found out I was pregnant, I was like, I don't think I want to get. I think I want to wait it out a little bit before I get some because I was wanting more like movement in my face. I can't stop looking at your forehead. You don't have any wrinkles. Like none. You don't even need it. That's really nice. I've been I've been stressing about my skin. No, I'm, you have a baby face. Like your forehead is like a. I've also, I also feel like I'm really plump right now because I, um, my OBIS yesterday told me that I need to just make sure I keep walking every day. Because just to make sure I don't like gain too much weight and I'm like really like hurting and struggling in the end. I feel you. So I just feel like very plump right now.

So I think that's like really filled out the. I get it. I'm the same way. I feel that we're the same week. So yeah. Yeah. It's it's a fun. It's a fun all time.

What number is this for you? Three. Okay. Oh, so you're like. Yes. No. Okay. Like I think for me,

What helped the first, my husband and I would just talk about this because someone was like, has this been your worst pregnancy? It has been the worst symptom-wise. Okay. However, I haven't enjoyed being pregnant and ego around. And the first, I think, was the most daunting and depressing because I really thought that it was forever. And I feel that way about postpartum too and if we can get into it all. But once you have the knowledge that it's not forever, it does make it easier. So, like, yes, the beginning really sucked this time around and maybe worse than the others.

because I also was caring for two kids. But at the same time, I'm like, okay, I know this actually isn't forever. Yeah. Where I really thought it was with the first. Yeah. Because you convince yourself. What were your symptoms with the first and second compared to this one? The same symptoms, it just felt heightened with this one.

Like, nauseous all day long and just, like, stuck in the back of my throat. Like, I never actually got that sensation of throwing up. This time around I did. Okay. Where I actually, like, felt the release and I did vomit, which was honestly kind of nice. I get like really bad chills and shakes that I can't explain, but people who experience it understand. It's like from my below my boobs almost to my throat inside shivers, especially at night, like 6 o'clock to 9 o'clock p.m. were the worst hours of my day.

And I would just be like literally shaking, but I wouldn't be cold. So interesting. I can't explain it. Yeah. Depressive. Like I get pretty depressed during my pregnancies. food aversions but starving, disgusted by everything, smell so bad. Like I don't even want to be in my own existence. Like, I would like for it and be so appalled by myself that I'm like,

I just want to exit my own orbit. Yeah. And then like the congestion, the massive booze. I have no clue about the congestion. It's the first symptom for me every time. Yeah. The heightened sense of smell and the congestion. Yeah, that was, I think that was my first one. I've definitely, I've now realized like my girlfriends who haven't been pregnant yet, I'm telling them like basically everything is a symptom. Like anything you can think of is a symptom. Everything that sucks can happen. Like actually everything.

Oh, headaches. Yes. Yeah. Did those last your entire pregnancy or just more first trimester? No, they last kind of the whole time and they got worse at the end. Also this time around, like I've made this joke a few times, but each pregnancy just feels like you're like a used car that's taken another lap. around the lot. And like, I don't mean that in a negative way. Like, it's just the reality. Like,

the second time I got pregnant, I remember being like, whoa, my uterus, like, really like, stretched out earlier because it's like, we've been here and it's already expanded. With my third, I swear I took a pregnancy test and I looked four months pregnant. Like, I looked so pregnant, so early on that it was nearly impossible to not share. And I shared as early as I humanly could have with my community. I told everyone in my life literally the second I got a positive test. And like the weight gain this time around, I've already gained my entire first pregnancy's weight in 19 weeks. So I'm just done looking at the scale and I'm just ignoring it. And it is what it is.

Yeah. Yeah. That's been, I think the, there's been like a lot of things for me. But I think the weight gain has definitely been the hardest one for me because I don't. I guess I just didn't think that it would happen that fast. I also like my, I had like two and a half, three-ish weeks of like in first trimester where I like have a fear of throwing up. So every time I would get nauseous, I would shove my face with bread.

And that was also when I was having the food aversion. So it was bread, grill cheese, buttered noodles and like mac and cheese. And so I literally gained like 12 to 15 pounds in two weeks. And I like completely just had a meltdown and like saw myself naked in the mirror for the first time in like a couple weeks and was just like what is going on? Like how is this? Yeah. like happening so quick. But I kind of had to, and I'm so, I literally cried on Monday at the Nordstrom.

I'm sorry. I feel you. I've been there. But I'd so funny and like, you know, I, I sound silly saying it, but like, I know I, like, I know it's fine to say. And like, I can vent to like my pregnant girlfriends. I don't think you sound silly. I think it's the reality. Yeah. I also think it's really, really hard in the beginning and at the very end. Yeah. Because it's. in the beginning, you almost feel like my cousin once said, you just feel like Spungebob, you're just squishy everywhere, but you're like square. Yeah. Then when you get a bump, it's like, okay, at least it's clear I'm pregnant and I can kind

of try to dress this. I can do like under the bump pants with a top or something. Yeah. The beginning is just confusing as all hell because you're like, is this bread and bloat or do I have a baby in there? Yeah. The end is honestly just like a little. It's just, it's crazy.

Yeah. You're just huge. But you also are so aware that there's a baby in there and that you're close. So I really find the beginning the hardest with the body stuff. Yeah. I am struggling right now. I literally looked in the mirror last night and I was like, I'm an orangutan. My boobs are just like, you know those videos of orangutans like breastfeeding?

I totally know what you're talking about. That is how I feel. Like it came to me last night when I was like, loosening my body. I was like I look like a fucking orangutanang. Just like it's just, it doesn't feel like me. And I'm like, it's just uncomfortable. Like my boobs are hanging on my belly already. No.

And they're touching. That is such. And I've never had like, I've had like a little underboob like sweat, like a little something. But like now it's like I'm sitting in their foot. Like when I don't have a bra and they're like fully on my stomach. And I'm like I literally will have to take my shirt and like foot. When I don't have a bra, I actually was on a work call.

And luckily it was just like, you know, it was all girls and one of them is also pregnant. it was fine. But literally during the work call, I literally did the boob tuck with my shirt. And I was like, I just did that while on a video. Like, that is not like, I'm clearly comfortable with you, but also like that is, that is the one thing. But they're right. Yeah, that's definitely. I feel like and I will say with the third, the pain is earlier. Like I get really bad lightning crotch. I don't know if anyone's told you about this. I've, I got it. I had it for like two weeks and now it's kind of gone away. Okay. So it sucks. as you know, it literally feels like a knife is like going into your hoo-ha.

And it was really bad at the end of my other pregnancies and like sciatica and just all of that pain. And that has all started earlier. So I have already started my like once a month massages. I do pelvic floor PT every three weeks. I'll move it up to every two weeks as I get closer and then potentially every week at the end. Like I don't think enough people talk about that. Pelvic four PT is so helpful.

Okay. especially before delivery, definitely after delivery for like recovery, but to prep you. Yeah. And like help with pain that you don't even potentially realize is related. Mm-hmm. So doing things like that, I'm just trying to exist. We're just trying to exist. We're just trying.

I know. I feel like luckily there's so many people that are pregnant right now. So it is really nice being able to talk to so many people. Like two of my close friends are pregnant. It's game changing. The fact that like we, the three of us have just been able to like. text all the time and be like, can we eat this? Is this normal? When did this happen? Is it there first? Yeah. It's all, it's yeah, it's all of our first. So, um, it's been, it's been really nice to be able to,

like, just talk about it with someone. Because I mean, my husband is lovely and he's the most kind of caring person, but like he can't, he'll never get it. Yeah. No, like, they can be the best husband in the entire world. They will never understand. Yeah. So it's nice to be able to like, even just be like, I feel fat today and they're like, me too. And I'm like, great, we're in this together. I also will say I have two best friends who are in the same boat right now. We're like three weeks apart. But this happened with my second two.

It's helpful during pregnancy. It is so helpful during postpartum. Like I will say 10 times more helpful to have those people who are close in your life who are really in it with you. Yeah. And I always think that there is benefit to having friends in different stages of life. you know, like having a friend who is maybe a year ahead of you who can be like, oh, don't worry, that's not forever.

Like your baby will sleep or like you're not always going to be covered in breast milk or those types of things. Yeah. But having someone that's in the weeds with you is really beneficial to like be texting at three in the morning when you're both up feeding. Yeah. Or being like, oh my God, are you going through this sleep regression or how are you handling teething?

The people who remember it because they're in it. Yeah. Is really beneficial. Okay. That's good. That's good to know. I know we've like. You'll rely on them a lot.

Yeah, that's sweet. I'm, I'm very thankful. Very thankful for that. Okay, I want to get into like mental health. You talked about postpartum, but I guess like starting mental, you're very open about mental health and pregnancy and postpartum, everything under the sun with that. Was mental health something for you before your pregnancies? Was that something that you dealt with? Yes. It was something that I now looking back can realize I dealt with anxiety, majority of my life. Okay. It was like high performing anxiety. So, you know, I was always like getting these accolades, mainly around sports, not necessarily

around school academics until college. But it was like, I was always a responsible one. I was always the captain. Those types of things. Yeah. But it was because of my anxiety. And I remember very vividly having, I don't know why like the end of time really freaks me out.

It's not death, but it's that like time never ends. and it's like a very specific trigger for me. And I remember as a kid multiple times having this conversation with my cousin, who's now my right hand and producer, and we would be like, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Like we have to stop talking about it, not knowing that it was like an anxiety attack feeling coming on. Yeah. And so then it wasn't until after college when I was working in like a very corporate, I was in sales and trading and like all of my overachieving. high functioning, competitive things were like really well suited for that industry

but it turned the dial up on all of them and I was so go, go, go like there was one way and that was the only way and it was fast and if you were slow, get the hell out of my way like that was just how I was. Yeah. And I actually ended up getting hit by a car

while I was crossing the street and like suffering from a really bad concussion so it was on disability and that was when I started like journaling and meditating and I had this idea of leaving my job to do this like Instagram food account that I had that I was making no money off of. But I was like, I can health coach and I can like meal prep for people and maybe like write recipes.

So when I left to do that, I remember sitting in my neurologist appointment for like post-concussion treatment. And my mom had come with me because I was still experiencing these symptoms. And it was a very emotional topic for me at the time because it was very trauma related to the accident. And so she was like, let me just come with you and like take notes. And in it, the doctor was like, do you find that you're anxious? And I was like, no, I left my job.

What would I be anxious about? Like, I'm fine. And my mom and I left and she was like, hey, so like, you're very anxious. I was like, what do you mean? Like I left my, I'm not anxious anymore. I don't work there anymore. Yeah. And she was like, yeah, but it wasn't all tied to that job.

Like, you definitely struggle with anxiety. And I think that was the first time I really like came to terms with it. And so I went on medication that was to help anxiety, but also specific to like post-concussion symptoms. amatryptolin. Okay. And at that time, I had a platform that was very small, but I started sharing about it because I've just always felt very comfortable talking about these things.

For sure. And it was mind blowing to me the response of people being like, thank you so much for saying your own medication. Like, I'm on medication, excuse me, and I feel so isolated. I don't know anyone else that's all meds. And I was like, literally everyone in my DMs is saying they're experiencing the same thing, but they feel alone. And I felt alone.

So, like, we're all going through the same thing, but we all feel isolated. And this was 2018. So it was a little bit before we were all so open about this. For sure. And then I eventually ended up switching medications because I had said I wanted to try to get pregnant. And they were like, okay, we don't want you to get pregnant on this one. Let's take you off, see how you feel, and the potentially put you on one that you could get

pregnant on. In that like off period, I had a surprise pregnancy. So I started my first pregnancy not medicated. And I had never felt anxiety like that in my entire life. Wow. where it was just this like buzzing level of energy that I could not stop. And it wasn't anxiety around the health of my baby. It was just this like constant hum.

And that's when I started Searcherlane, which is brand Zoloft. And I've been on that through all pregnancies and postpartum. And I was very open about that because I don't think enough people talk about that. And I know so many people have fear over like stopping medication when they're pregnant. and I just found pregnancy to like really suck quite honestly. And I have so much gratitude for the fact that I was able to get pregnant so easily. It's such a privilege and I feel so fortunate. And I don't like pregnancy.

And like those two things can coexist. And I felt very depressed and anxious. And my first postpartum rocked me. And I was very open about that. And I think now I'm in such a better place where like I'm still medicated. I still do the things to like, prioritize my mental health. But I also feel like with time, I've gotten to a place where, like, I know what helps me and what hurts me. Yeah. And I really try to prioritize what helps me.

Yeah. I love that. What was your first postpartum like? Um, I think the, I think a lot of it stemmed from the identity crisis and the metrescence, which is the like evolution of becoming a mother, which is equivalent to an adolescence period for children. children. And I just, I also think it's important to note it was during COVID, which I didn't know played a role until I experienced a postpartum not in COVID afterwards, because that was all I knew. Okay. So there was obviously heightened level of health anxiety around that. Um, but I just felt like my life had been turned upside down in a way that I was not prepared for. And I didn't expect me to not recognize myself so much. And I don't mean physically, but like,

What do I care about? Who do I want to spend time with? What do I even talk about? Like, what are my interests? What is my job now? Like, how much time do I want to spend working? Do I want to be with my kid more? All of those things. And it was just this feeling. I just have this one very vivid moment that, like, explains how I felt the first few months where I was probably end of summer. So it was like four months postpartum. And we were at my parents beach house, which is like my happy place. My sister. were there. Everyone was hanging out. And I just kind of like walked away from everyone and went upstairs. And my husband came and found me. And I was just like sitting on a couch in a dark room, not doing anything. Like I wasn't on my phone. I wasn't watching TV. I was just like, what's going on? And I was like, I just want to sink into this couch. Like I have no interest in anything or anyone or any aspect of my life. It was just like a complete disinterest. Yeah. And I was it almost like a numb feeling?

It was very numbing. And I had felt like, I had always thought postpartum depression was feelings towards your baby of like that not feeling connected. Yeah. Or, you know, what we see and hear about of like the baby gets put on your chest and you don't feel connected, which happens to many people. That's not necessarily like a sign of postpartum depression or the only sign. And mine hit me a little later.

And it was almost around this four month window when like I kind of started getting back into life again and I just felt like my kid was the only thing I loved and everything else I felt completely numb towards and disinterested and disinterested in my own being as well. Yeah. And so that was when I, obviously like I talked with my psychiatrist. We changed my dosage. I personally decided to stop breastfeeding shortly after that, which I think played a huge role in that. Everyone has different emotions around breastfeeding and lots of opinions. Fed is best. I don't care how you feed your baby. Yeah. And that really helped me. And I don't feel like it was until that nine month window that I was like, oh, I am like my own human. Like I'm allowed to do things for myself and have interests for

myself and like prioritize myself. And that I think opened a whole new world of also accepting that like two conflicting emotions can coexist at once. Yeah. Because I, I would feel this layer of guilt if I ever felt like, oh, I want a second to myself or I'm touched out or any of the other emotions that we feel outside of positivity, which is just the reality of motherhood. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, thank you for sharing all that.

I love, like, just learning about, like, I'm, I think the thing that stresses me out about being pregnant is I, like, want to be, like, I love being prepared. Like, I am, like, an overpreparer for things. And so I, like, want to know, like, every possible thing that I think that's also maybe just like the nurse background in me. Right. But I like want to know everything that's possible. So that's like really like it's almost not a reverse postpartum, but like different.

Again, everything is a symptom. So I feel like with postpartum, like anything could happen. The only consistency about pregnancy and postpartum is that everyone's is different. And every single one is different. Like my second postpartum was so different than my first. very curious to see how my third is. But like I totally get the desire to prepare. Yeah.

And you also kind of have to just be like, you got to be willing to accept what comes your way and work with it. Yeah. Yeah. I think the biggest thing I'm like preparing for what you were saying is like the breastfeeding thing. Like I just feel like I now know so many people. Like I had a girlfriend whose baby was like allergic to her breast milk and had to go.

That was my second. Really? Like it made him hysterically cry and so uncomfortable and spit up like I've never seen a baby spit up in my life. Yeah. From my breath's milk. Okay. That's insane.

I had never. I had never. I had never heard that before. And my girlfriend is like very, she's a very healthy, like clean person. And so I'm like, I'm literally like having formula like stocked. Yeah. Like that's a number one thing. And that's what my girlfriend.

consultant. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I need to try to find one before you get birth. I need to do that. Because like you need to remember to do that. I always say like before you're pregnant, having a therapist and a prescriber. And then before you give birth a lactation consultant because you never know what could happen. Like my two feeding journeys were completely different in every single way. Yeah. And having someone that you already have a relationship with. Yeah. Even if it's just one call so you know that they're available or like potentially in your network or whatever for them to come because it's going to be like a we need you now yeah whatever we're doing isn't working yeah no I already texted my therapist last week on because I'll see him like I see him like if

nothing's going on I see him like once a month yeah and since being pregnant I've kind of seen him like twice a month but I texted him last week and I was like I like actually I can't my my brain is like acting very weird so I need to like come see you so now I'm like to weekly seeing him because I'm like you need it when you're pregnant yeah and I feel like I

feel like I feel like I'm having a lot of realizations to like everyone's like pregnancy just like gets you like so deep in your thoughts of thinking things but then I'm also like borderline like trying to figure out like if I am feeling like I've this month I'm so big so I feel like I'm kind of distracting myself, but I'm like, am I feeling, like, depressed? Am I trying to like cover up how I'm feeling with how busy am and I'm not like addressing how I'm feeling or is it just my, I don't know, how I'm feeling about myself?

I mean, there's so much going on when you're pregnant and it's so hard to decipher what is what and why you're feeling a certain way. and it's every possible emotion you could feel so heightened. Yeah. I think like being gentle with yourself, which is the most annoying advice, but like honestly. No, I have had to tell myself that a lot. It's so important. And reminding yourself, like, if I could tell any first time to be or new mom, everything is temporary. Like, you will not feel like this forever.

And that is what I struggled with a lot during the first postpartum. I was like, I love my kids so much and my life is ruined. Like, I'm never going to sleep again. My body is ruined. I'm always going to be covered in breast milk. My life revolves around a schedule of him eating and shitting and sleeping. Am I ever going to see people again? Will I ever have anything to say other than like what his like poop consistency is?

And it's so temporary. And like that I think was so freeing during my second postpartum. So I was like, oh, it's okay. Like he'll sleep one day. I won't have to clean and feed bottles all the time. Like I won't feel like my husband's my roommate forever. You know, like it's, it is so temporary, but it feels so permanent in the moment that it's really daunting. Yeah.

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That's lululemon.com. Lulumon.com. Was there anything that you kind of like tried to put into place before, like before your first or even second, like, you know, date nights with your husband or anything? Was there anything that you tried to even things for yourself? Yeah. Like, that you tried to implement before baby. I will say division of labor.

I am like gung-ho on division of. labor. I could write a TED talk on it. Great. Um, we had a dog before we had a baby and we had lived together, which is probably obvious. But I felt like my husband originally, when we were dating, moved into the apartment that I had already lived in. Okay. So it kind of felt like I had already had all the, like, home tasks. And when he moved in, I just kind of kept them. And I started, I vividly remember this one moment where like the toothpaste tube was running low. And you know how you're like, curling it up and stuff. And I had this thought to myself where I was like, if I don't buy new toothpaste, would he go buy toothpaste? And so I secretly had my own tube of toothpaste that I was

using to see how long it would take for him to be like, I'm going to go buy toothpaste. And then one day he was like, I think we need new toothpaste. And I was like, you think? Like why, but why are you telling me? You know, like, why haven't you gone and bought the toothpaste? And that was when my mentality shifted around it where I was like, I'm not. owning all of these tasks. And I know I did because I lived here first, but like, this is not my house that you live in. And when we had a dog, the same thing happened where we really configured like, okay, who's doing morning walks? We were in an apartment. Like, who's doing morning walks? Who's doing afternoon? Who's doing night? Whose responsibility is what? And that was the first time

we had to really like put someone else's needs before our own. And I want to say it was after we had our first, I found out about fair play method by Evorzky, which like I highly recommend to any parent, new parent or not. Fair play. Yeah, fair play. There's a book, but there's a deck of cards. Okay. And she's come on my show.

It's one of my favorite episodes. Like, she's awesome, her work. So within the deck of cards, there's like a card for my husband. My husband's going to hate that. He's going to hate this. Yes. No, literally. Husbands will be like, screw you.

Yeah. Like my friend's husbands hate me because I'll be at their house and like, I'll watch them do something and I'll look at them. I'm like, talk about weaponized incompetence. Get up and go do it. And Joe's like, why do you do this? I'm like, because this is ridiculous. Like, this is insane.

So it's a deck of cards. Every single card, you can do it if you don't have children. And there are cards for like house tasks. Like who's buying the groceries? Who's making the grocery list? Who's filling in the fridge? Who is noticing that you're out of said grocery? Who's buying the toilet paper, whatever.

Then there are cards if you have an animal. Then there are more cards if you have kids. So like who's doing the doctor's appointments? Who's doing the school forms? Who's doing school drop off? Playdates, camp, all the things. And you sit down and you decide. like who owns what task.

And so before we decided, we went through it and we picked up all the tasks that we owned. And it was very clear that my stack was a lot higher. And I was like, see, a lot of the stuff I do for a kid at the time we only had one is invisible labor. It's like the mental aspect. You think I'm just buying diapers, but I'm doing the math in my head. How many packs of diapers do we have? When will he run out? How many does it go through a day?

Is he still going to be a size two next time I order or should I get half size one? It's constant with children. Constant. Don't even get me started on the closed aspect of it all. So we reconfigured the cards and the concept is if you own a card, the other person should not have to think about it. So like for instance, cards he owns, I literally don't think about it. I couldn't tell you what day is trash or recycling or putting gas in our car, which like

sometimes bites me in the ass or like other things like that. and he doesn't know when our next coterie shipment is coming because that's a task I own. Yeah. So splitting that up, I find is essential. But the concept being like every relationship is going to have different amount of cards held depending on like your jobs and your hours and what works for your family. Yeah. But I fully believe with equal partnership and like your husband should not be your child. And I will die on that hill.

Like I should be able to walk out the door of our house and be like, hey, I'm going away for three days. I love you. I'll see you later. And he should know how to run every single thing with our children, with our house, all of it. And it's insane to me how many people are married single moms because their husbands do jack shit. So I will say having conversations around a vision of labor before child is important. And you can't know beforehand what task you're going to want because you might think like, like, oh, all, I won't mind cleaning the bottles.

Like, I don't mind doing dishes. And then you're going to be like, I don't want to look at a bottle again in my entire life. So I think you can talk about it and then really assess after the baby is born. Like, actually, I despise doing this and I don't mind doing this. I have like these weird moments. It's literally like every other day. I'm just laying down on them.

I think this baby's going to come out of me. I'm like, I'm pregnant. Or I'd like, just like there's, it's just so funny. And I've like really like started to feel like movement too. Yeah. So that's just been like, I just got the first one on camera. I didn't even, I felt like the biggest movement. I was like, let me just fill my stomach.

I was laying in bed to see if I would like catch anything. And I did it me and Taylor were like, oh my gosh, this is like crazy. That's when it really feels weird, especially towards the end where I'm like, there is a human, like some of the movements at the end are so insane. The weirdest thing for me was after my first was born, I remember like they put him on my chest, whatever, like we clean him off, we swaddle him. And I'm like, you're cute. Like, you're cooked.

You're human. You were in here like that. Because in my head, you're an alien. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think of, like, a cute baby being in here. Yeah. I don't know what I think of.

But, like, I was looking at him, like, three hours plus delivery being like, you were just, like, scrunched up in there. It's so crazy. It's crazy. It's superhuman alien shit is what I call it. Like, you're literally creating a human. Like, how, I just, that. my ultrasound photos I just got back, you could see the cord in the photo too. Oh, the anatomy

scan is crazy. And I'm like, like, you can literally see the spiral of the cord in this black and white thing. I'm like, this is crazy. The placenta is wild. But did you do something with her placenta? I encapsulated mine. Okay. Both times. Um, and I took them. Okay. I kind of stopped with my first because I had mastitis twice, like very early on. I think I had like five days postpartum, which is a sick joke. And I had a really bad fever. And like something about it was you weren't supposed to take the pills if you had a fever, probably just like to protect, like, I don't know if anything really could happen, but whatever. And I feel like I never got back into the routine of taking them. Okay. And then they also made like a tincture that was supposed

to help with like PMS symptoms, which is ironic because I suffer from PMDD. But I've just been like too creeped out to ever use it because if I look in the bottle, I can see like a chunk of my placenta. I'm like, that's just like too much for me. That's so funny. But the pills, was fine with. Yeah. I know. I'm thinking about doing that. I also just heard that you can turn your frozen breast milk into powder. Yes. I've done that. Okay. Okay. So that wasn't a thing that I knew of with my first in 2021. But with my second, like I said, my feeding journeys, journeys were completely different. And I have a mass oversupply with both. So I had all this breast milk in our freezer. and when my second, we decided that my breast milk was actually making all of his, like,

digestive stuff a lot worse, I was like, okay, well, now I have all this breast milk. What am I going to do with it? And I hadn't, like, properly tracked at that time. Like, if you want to donate it, there are a lot of things that you have to, like, do beforehand, kind of, whether it's, like, the dating or, like, your diet. And I was like, I don't know when, I know this was, like, within the last few months, but I don't have the exact date, all these things. But I had a few friends I knew my sister was going straight to formula and she wasn't having her milk come in eventually when she had her second. And I knew my other friend was about to have twins through surrogacy. So I looked into that and then we had it turned into powder because it has a longer shelf life.

So then I was able to give like split it between my sister and my friend to give them. And like I marked like certain bags. I had marked colostrum, which is like more important if they're like sick or in the first few days. and like we were able to mark the bags of powder milk, which was like it's so awesome that that's an option. And I just like, I don't know, something about thawing breast milk to me. Like that mental, that task of like bagging milk, freezing it, thawing it, I never used my frozen milk with either kid. So I was just like, I hate this process.

Yeah. I gave my first frozen stash to my sister. Okay. Now I literally just learned that in my best friend. has a six-month-old at home and she's like, she's, we can call her mom a cow. She's like,

just has, she produces so much milk. It's amazing. Yeah. And her freezer is completely stocked. She just donated a bunch and she's like, still is like producing so much. And I'm like,

I need to tell her about it. I forgot to text her yesterday. The different levels of production is wild. Yeah. And like, you would think it's like biological. My sister and I would sit on a pump for 10 minutes and she would barely get an ounce. and I would have like eight to 10 ounces.

And it's just like so wild how everyone's different supply is. Yeah. I can't think about it or I can't think about it. But that's, I think I just, I'm not expecting, because obviously people have asked me if I'm planning to breastfeed. But like that's such a crazy question to me. Yeah. For so many reasons. But like you could have a complete plan.

And you have no concept of what's going to happen. Correct. Yeah. Like your kid could not mesh with your breast milk. Your kid could have both my kids had tongue ties and a lip tie. Like I had inverted nipples with my first. Like you just have no idea. Yeah.

And so like when people even ask that, it's like, well, who knows? Yeah. Summer is so fun and don't get me wrong. I love it. But by the end of it, I'm ready for a little more routine. And I know that I'm not alone in that. The chaos in summer is real. And back to school season is honestly a collective exhale for parents.

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research on baby products lately. The amount of label reading, ingredient checking, and general overthinking I've been doing when it comes to what I'm going to use on my baby's skin is a whole new thing. And I feel like that's just what you do when you care because the decisions feel so important. That's exactly why I've been so drawn to honest. They make baby essentials made for life's most delicate skin. And the whole brand is built around this idea. that parents deserve to feel genuinely confident in what they're using on their little ones. Honest holds every product to their highest standard, the honest standard, thoughtfully choosing the ingredients they put in and the ones they leave out.

Their baby products are also hypoallergenic and dermatologist tested. And that combination, knowing someone else that has already done the work and held it to real standard genuinely gives me so much peace of mind as a first time parent still figuring all of this out. As a parent, you want to feel like someone has your back when it comes to this stuff. And Honest genuinely does. I think what really sets honest apart for me is that it doesn't feel fear-based or overwhelming. A lot of the conversation around baby products can feel really anxiety-inducing, like you're constantly worried about making the wrong choice. And Honest just flips that.

It's less about what to avoid and more about feeling good about what you're choosing. That shift in mindset has honestly made me feel so much more calm going into this whole new chapter. Knowing there's a brand I can lean on that has already done the vetting for me. Shop honest on Amazon, Walmart, and Target. Being a mom and mom of multiple and soon to be another multiple, how do you prioritize your mental health? Like, what does that look like for you? Okay, this is the most annoying advice I fully realize that.

Like, whenever I say it, it's so annoying. And it doesn't always happen right now because I'm pregnant. But waking up before your kids is like the number one piece of advice I can give them all. And I get that no one wants to hear that 100%. But for me, especially as someone who like navigates with over stimulation, that time is so sacred to me. I've always been a morning person. I've always loved my morning time of like silence. Like my family knows when we're together, like don't talk to me for the first 30 minutes

of the day. Like I like to be by myself. So waking up ideally before my kids and just going downstairs, I'm not even saying you have to like do anything crazy. You can, I mean, sure, like I would love to meditate and like some mornings I journal, but oftentimes I just like sit and have a glass of water in literal silence and just stare into the abyss for 10 minutes. Like not going on my phone so that no one needs me because I think as a mom you're like constantly being needed. And having that time where you're just you is really nice to start the day. Yeah.

In an ideal world, I would love to like get a workout in and have a coffee and like take a poop before my children wake up. But like that doesn't happen every day. So that's like the number one thing. I mentioned like meditation, journaling. Exercise is a big thing for me. Yeah. It doesn't at all look like what it once did. I used to be like such a class person.

I would be like in a Pilates or a hit class like four times a week for an hour with like a 20 minute commute each way. That's insane to me now. I'm like, what? I try to do one Pilates class a week. That's like a huge win for me. Yeah. Otherwise, it's like 10 to 15 minutes of like a program literally on my mat in the kitchen while the boys are like playing around me after they've eaten breakfast. Female friendships.

Like I don't think we talk about the importance of those enough when it comes to mental health. I prioritize and protect my female friendships so intensely. And so whether that's like just group texts or that's girls' nights, it could be a dinner out. Most of the time it's like sitting on a couch and hanging out in someone's backyard. I play tennis once a week with a group of girls. Like that is really important to me. Yeah. Prioritizing time with my husband.

Like I would love to say we're better at it than we are. We're a work in progress. Pregnancy also makes that hard. But I do think it's really important. And then the obvious of like therapy. and medication. Yeah. You have a journal.

Yes. Can you tell me about that? Yes. And I have one for you. It's called Quiet Your Mind and Busy Your Hands. And it really started because I wanted to somehow integrate modalities that like helped me in my mental health. And like journaling has been a staple for me over seven years.

And I felt like whenever I said I journaled, people would be like, what are you writing? Like, do you need prompts? Do you know what? I never know what to say. And I'm like, I just talk about the weirdest shit. I don't know. I just start writing. So I didn't want to make just like any type of journal because I was like, okay, well, what's going to set it apart?

There are so many. And for me, as someone with ADHD, I always want to do something with my hands. And I'll notice like, if I'm talking to someone, I'm doing something or like, you know, when you're watching TV and you like grab your phone and then you're watching a show and you're scrolling. And I don't think that social media consumption helps my mental health. I know it doesn't. For sure. And I noticed how meditated. coloring felt when I had kids and we'd be coloring together and my kid would like walk away

and I would still be coloring and I'm like oh wow that time passed and I'm a big affirmation girl like I started doing affirmations when I was struggling with body image stuff like eight 10 years ago and then it went more into like self-worth and like encouragement and I do it with her kids all the time so we merged all three where it's journal pages and then adult coloring affirmations and all of the affirmations are these like five by eight images so you can also cut them out and frame them, five by seven, sorry. So like they fit in a standard frame. Yeah.

And it's like such a labor of love. I love the product so much. We also have a kids edition, which I'm obsessed with. Oh, cute. And like I do think we'll probably lean more into kids moving forward because it's just, I think also so important. And then we have a new edition coming out, which I can tease on here because it's very timely to this conversation.

But it's a what the fuck is happening to my body addition. So it's specific to pregnancy. it's broken down into first, second, third, postpartum. And within each, like, trimester, there is, like, kind of text about my experience of symptoms and, like, laying out kind of what to expect. And then there are tracker pages for you to track your symptoms and emotions and feelings throughout each week. And then all of the journal prompts, affirmations, and images are, like, pregnancy-related.

And I'm so excited for that one. Oh, my gosh, that's so exciting. I recently got into journaling probably, like, like, I think, towards the end of last year, I really consistently got into it every morning. And it was like my favorite thing. And then when first trimester came, then it kind of like slowed. And I'm trying to like figure out my way back into it. But I'm really excited. I also think that's something that plays into the whole conversation around like depression and pregnancy. It's like, am I depressed or am I also just like simply trying to survive and don't have the energy to do all

the things that help me not be depressed? Yeah, like so out of my routine. that makes me, like even like lighting a candle. I'm like, I can't smell this candle or like doing skin care. Yes. Dishes in the morning. Like I love skincare. Now I'm like, I can't use any of my products. I'm breaking out so bad.

Like it just is there's. Even just like the task of washing. Like I would be at night and I would look in my bathroom. I'm like, I do not want to go in there and do any, not even like a face wash or like showering. Like the simplest self-care. Yeah. Felt like a mountain to climb in the beginning.

And so it's like, sure, maybe I'm also depressed, but I'm also not waking up before my kids. I'm not meditating. I'm not journaling. I'm not exercising. I'm not eating like nutritious foods. I'm not doing any of the things. So it's just like such a mountain. But in reality, like you can't expect to do all those things.

You're creating a human. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot. Okay. Last question I have for you is what does healing mean to you at this point and in life? Healing for me is. letting go. I used to be a really type A control freak and children completely changed that for me.

And I'm so grateful for that. And I feel like continuously I am more and more just like let go and let be. And like I always say the universe has my back in a way that I'm like not what's meant to be will be, but it'll work. And it may not be what I'm expecting or what I want, but it'll make sense. And I think that is like very healing for the 20 year old me who used to just be so tightly wound and obsessed with everything and like overanalyze, overplan, high strong. Yeah. Like that is so healing to me. The idea of like this is just such an easy example. If I were going anywhere on a trip, I would have like every single meal planned out.

And it was part of my orthorexia. I would have to know what restaurant, what I was getting, everything, and like have a full itinerary. And if you traveled with me, like, it was probably exhausting. And now I show up places. Like, I've gone on trips with friends and we get there. I'm like, where are we staying? They're like, what is happening? I'm like, I don't know.

Joe booked the flights. I assume you booked a hotel if we're all going together in Airbnb. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. And they're like, you are a different human. Wow. And that is very healing to me. I love that.

That's so special. Well, thanks for coming and chatting. so excited about your journal. We'll leave a link. We'll also leave a link to your podcast, which also I might be on. Yes, they'll be on. We'll also might just be looking in the same, in the same outfits and the same positions. But I love it. Thanks for coming in time. Thank you so much. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.