The Squeeze - Carlacia Grant: Brave Enough To Surrender

Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. What does surrendering mean to you and what does it look like for you in this season? I think it comes from, one, having like a higher power. I believe that there is something bigger than me that always wants the best for me. Being okay, not being okay. Like I think that for a lot of it is sort of like pushing through everything. And now it's just like maybe I can't take on $75,000. things today and that's okay. The hardest thing that I've been doing is like I don't have to

Starting point is 00:00:34 accomplish something like every single day. I am a workaholic, but it is okay to like just have a day of whatever I want to do that day and that doesn't mean any sort of achievement. It could just mean, wow, I successfully rested today. I allowed myself, allowed my mind, my body's soul to just be. You someone that naturally likes to feel. in control. Yeah. I sleep so well knowing that I have sometimes done everything. I'm learning to let it go. I'm in my surrender era. Lemon drops, let me introduce to you this week's guest. We have actress Carlacia Grant on and I'm so excited because we dive into all things outer banks, but also all things mental health. As many of you know, Outer Banks just wrapped their final season and we dived into

Starting point is 00:01:45 what that emotional letdown was like for her, as well as what her character Cleo has taught her over the years. She shares what she's most proud of being a part of the show, including what it's meant to her playing such a prominent role and being a role model for younger black women. She gets candid about how she's kept her mental and emotional routines intact as her life has just gotten bigger and busier. We really dive into this word surrender in the episode, and I think it's so cool because I don't think that word is used enough and how she surrenders to things in her life. We really just dove into what that word means to her. And she has such an amazing outlook on it. Lacey opens up about experiencing a significant loss that ultimately led her to therapy. How that experience changed

Starting point is 00:02:33 the way she approaches taking care of herself and the biggest thing she's taken away from the process. We talked to all things mental health toolbox, which I know you guys know I love talking about. So I hope you enjoy. Okay, well, Carlasia, welcome to the squeeze. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to get to sit down and chat. You are looking absolutely stunning. Today, I'm obsessed with your hair. The flip that's going on right now is... Thank you. It's so good. It's so good. Thank you. Well, we start each episode off with there's a jar that since you're not here with me, you can't see, but it's a little game called Citrus got real. Basically, I'll pull a little piece of paper and read it and we'll answer it together.

Starting point is 00:03:15 Okay, cool. Okay. Okay, this one says, which fictional character do you relate to? Ooh, that's a good one. Oh, there's so many. I know. Like animated or like... I'm like, which one do I want to relate to the most?

Starting point is 00:03:32 I know, right? I know, I'm trying to think for me right now, the first thing that came to mind is Winnie the Pooh because I'm... I'm eight and a half, almost nine months pregnant under here. So I'm like... Thank you. So I'm just like eating and sitting and have a big belly. So that's kind of who my like inner character is right now. Ooh, I love that one. I feel like maybe Peter Pan. I'm just like floating, floating through right now. I love Peter Pan. Yeah. I love that. That's sweet. Perfect. Okay. Well, I'm excited to dive into all things. Outer Banks, mental health, all that good stuff. But I want to talk about.

Starting point is 00:04:15 the emotions wrapping this final season and this season coming out. Like, how are you feeling doing all this press right now? Does it feel surreal? Are you sad, emotional? What are those feelings? All the above, it's like bittersweet. Like, I feel like we're close to like our last days of our, of our press together. And it's just like I really just want to give everyone a really, really long emotional.

Starting point is 00:04:43 luck. And like, you know, just close this chapter. Yeah. Can you share a little bit with us about your last day on set? You get called, wrapped, you're done. Like what, what are those feelings? Like, was it just you? Was it everyone? We did a group rap. Like, basically, we had a day where our last day actually got changed because of weather. So we were supposed to wrap on this scene that like everyone was in, but we weren't able to do that. So basically we moved everyone's, everyone's scene to like one location. And then some people be shooting over here,

Starting point is 00:05:21 as we were over there. And they just didn't ask, they asked everyone to like stay around. Like don't leave. Like when you rap, and then we all got together. Like at the end, once everybody rapped and we,

Starting point is 00:05:31 they wrapped everyone. Like at one time, like one by one. We all did a big circle and just wraps. But it was very, it was very emotional. Like a lot of us were crying. and just like, sort of like in disbelief. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:45 Yeah, I can't imagine what that feels like, especially because they're, when you film something like this for so long, there is such a bond and like a family unit element that comes to it. And I was just talking with someone about that feeling of just in general, of wrapping a project and then leaving the bubble and then getting home and that come down feeling that you have. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:09 And then I feel like with projects like this, it's just amplified because it's like now it's officially done. You're not coming back for another season. How has wrapping this season, the comedown of that kind of differed from before? Well, this is like the actual come down. And I feel like it comes in waves. Like I feel like we had a little bit of a come down like once we wrapped like filming. And then we would see each other like in between that.

Starting point is 00:06:40 And we knew that like press, we would have always. are going to get together again having to do press but I feel like now is like the actual like come down or like all the fields of like wow we're not going to be be able to get together like in this way you know anymore yeah what are you most excited about for fans to see this season the the the twinkie explode of course like I'm excited for people's react like seeing that whole, because there's more like fun stunts after that, but that whole sequence. Yeah. I bet that's exciting.

Starting point is 00:07:19 I want to know what Cleo has taught you maybe about yourself over these past few years that you didn't expect. You know, she teaches me to just go for it. Like she doesn't like second guess herself. Like she just like like does it. Yeah. And that's something that she has taught me like as a. person, which is just like to not overthink to just like go for it. Yeah. When it comes to the show as a whole, and I feel like it's finally has this, you know, pretty bow on it. It's wrapped up.

Starting point is 00:07:55 It's complete. It's ready to go. What are you most proud of if you can pick one or two things? I am so proud to be representing like black girls, like in the. this way. Like, there's so little roles. There's so, there's so little platforms like this to see people of color, especially like dark skin, like black women. So I'm so proud that now there, there is that out there. So now it can be, it can be replicated. And I think that people, I'm hoping that there, there's more projects like this that come because this one was so successful. And I think our relationship with Pope, like to see like black love, you know, on a why a show and have so many people rooting for it and wanting to have more of it that,

Starting point is 00:08:46 you know, I hope it, I hope that it opens more doors. Yeah, I love that. I know the show has had such an impact on you in a massive way just because of how much work and effort has gone into the show over the years. And I want to know, did your mental and emotional routines kind of have, have they changed as, you know, the show is grown, you've grown as a human and, you know, as a show grows, you're obviously, you're more busy, you're doing things. How have you kind of learn to make sure you're still being intentional about that time and prioritizing your mental health?

Starting point is 00:09:30 I think every year it gets easier and easier to sort of like learn my limits and learn like how much I can like push myself. So maybe just like advocating for myself more. And I think the first year, you know, you're just so happy to be there that you just sort of like do everything or you try to do everything because you're just like in that excitement. And then as time goes on, you know, things happen, life happens that, you know, sort of gets in the way or to have a different experience. and I think just sort of like going with whatever, you know, sort of feeling in the moment. It's like first year in the league versus like fifth year, fifth year in the league. You know, obviously your changes, like your body changes, but you can handle changes.

Starting point is 00:10:20 And you as a human being changes. So just like taking the time to really listen to like what, like what emotionally I'm feeling, what mentally I'm feeling and being okay with whatever comes up. Yeah, I love that. during during filming how because I feel like sometimes this answer from people is either there's like a strict boundary with you know I work combining through Friday and then the weekends I'm not thinking about work and then other people are like it's all I'm thinking about it's all I'm doing where do you lie in that yeah I think it goes back to what what you said you're like usually like

Starting point is 00:10:59 well for me like when I first got there it's like you know it's it's work work work work work work work work, work, work, work, work. You know, not really giving myself any time to breathe in between that. But now, you know, it's like, no, like I will work Monday through Friday and use the weekends. Or sometimes even getting out of work, no matter how long a day is, like getting out of work and doing something like for myself. It could be just like going out to eat or like going for a bike ride or like talking to my friends, you know, just to. taking care of myself the person. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:36 Just as much as I take care of the job. Yeah. Love that. I think this is really sweet. You've described both yourself and Cleo as resilient. And I want to know where do you think your own resilience comes from? I think it comes from, one, having like a higher power. Like, I believe that there is something bigger than me that all.

Starting point is 00:12:02 always wants the best for me. And I think that I get it from my family. Like my family is a very strong family. You know, I got West Indian background. Like, you know, we go after, like, what we want. So, and I think my family, all right, said my family. But yeah, the people around me, the people have come before me and sometimes thinking about, like, the people that are going to come in after me.

Starting point is 00:12:27 Like, you know, how can I make a better path for the people who are going to come? behind me. Yeah, for sure. Dinner used to be this thing I'd figure out at 5 p.m. by opening every cabinet and staring blankly until something came to me, which usually meant takeout. The problem was never that I didn't want to cook. It was that I didn't have anything worth cooking. That's the whole thing Butcher Box fix for me. Butcher Box delivers 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more, all sourced to standards they can actually tell you, They've already done the research and made the tough sourcing decisions, so all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. Every box is customizable so you choose the cuts and proteins that

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Starting point is 00:17:58 in a while, like what that actually means. What does surrendering mean to you? And what does it look like for you in this season? I think it's just being okay, not being okay. Like I think that for a lot of it, it's sort of like pushing through everything. And now it's just like, oh, I'm actually, like not okay today.

Starting point is 00:18:23 Like maybe I can't take on 75,000 things today and that's okay. And I think for me the hardest thing to learn is like, or the hardest thing that I've been doing is like I don't have to accomplish something like every single day. Like I am a workaholic. Like I am very driven. But it is okay to like just have a day of whatever I want to do that day. and that doesn't mean any sort of achievement. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:53 It could just mean, wow, I successfully rested today and didn't like try to be like, oh, let me answer this email or let me do this or let me do that. Like I allowed myself, allowed my mind, my body, soul to just be. So I think that's like been surrender for me and what it looks like for me now. Yeah, I love that. And you are preaching to me over here because I am the same way. I'm just, I like being busy. Like, I like doing things.

Starting point is 00:19:23 And I also think, I also think when it comes to like your work too, and I feel like you can probably relate to this. Like I'm so passionate about, I do a lot of mental health work and I'm so passionate about everything that I do. So it's hard for me to be like to find that rest when I'm actually still enjoying it. But it is so important to try to find that. time and to like kind of be strict with yourself. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's hard. Honestly, this pregnancy has been the biggest thing that has like taught me how to rest because my my feet

Starting point is 00:20:03 have been so swollen. I call them like my puff pastries. Like they're literally just like they're so swollen. I have to sit down. I have to have my feet up. And it's so hard because I'm like such a bit I'm just I want to go and do things. And yeah. It's it's been this baby. is already teaching me to slow down and rest. Is this your first one? Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Starting point is 00:20:25 It's sweet. It's crazy. On that note of that, are you someone that, because this is how, this is how I am also, are you someone that naturally likes to feel, like, in control of things? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:20:46 Like I love control. I feel like I thrive in control or like dotting every eye and crossing every tea. Like I feel like I sleep so well knowing that I have sometimes like done everything. So yeah. I'm learning to let it go. I'm in my surrender era. Yeah, I love it. It's such a good era. I feel like that word is so underused. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You're bringing it back. We need to use that more. I love that.

Starting point is 00:21:20 Okay, I want to talk a little bit about therapy. You've previously shared that experiencing a significant loss was part of what ultimately led you to therapy. How did that experience change the way you approached taking care of yourself? Yeah. I think with therapy, or for my experience with therapy, it's like, you have all these things running through your mind, like at all times. And it's only you that are thinking of them. But like when you're in the therapist office, you're like saying all these things out loud. And then she's like, hmm. And why do you think that? Like, like, so like if me being like, well, I just feel like if I don't do something every day, then like I've wasted the day. She's like, hmm. Well, that doesn't sound. healthy. So it just helps you like really think about like what is working for you and what maybe you need to work on. Maybe some things in your childhood that you have learned that no longer

Starting point is 00:22:29 serve you. It's just like sifting through like all your thoughts and just like helping you. I think feel more comfortable and feel more confident. I think navigating change or like I was going through loss at that time. But like just navigating like, just navigating like, tough moments or even great moments like navigating those. Yeah. No, it's so true. I started therapy maybe, let's see, five years ago. And it's something that I like needed in a crisis moment. And then now I just continue with because I really think that it's so good to be mentally prepared and like have our toolbox ready and like just it's just good to talk about it even when things like aren't going on like when life's all happy

Starting point is 00:23:17 and great I'll like check in with my therapist like every other month or something and then I know it's a busy season like when I found out I was pregnant I was like I'm about to be seeing you a lot more because I know I'm going to need it so just having someone that can like keep you accountable and also I feel like when you speak whatever is flying around in your head out loud it's so much less scary Yeah. Than like what we build it up to be because I'll like say it and like how you said like you're doing something and your therapist is like well why and you're like actually that's like a really good question. I've never even asked myself why. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:23:55 Why I do this behavior. Why I'm stuck in it. With going to therapy, were you, were you hesitant to go to therapy? Like what were your feelings about therapy before going? I think I was, I didn't think about. I didn't think I needed it. Like I was like, no, I'm fine. Like, what, what can a, what kind of therapist actually do to help me?

Starting point is 00:24:19 Like, I help myself. I've always helped myself. So, like, what? You know, I wasn't, I wasn't, I don't think it was really good at, at asking for help. Or help navigating that. So, like, once it was like, I guess going back to surrender, like, okay. The worst that can happen is I'm exactly, like, where I'm. I am. So that's how I ended up being like, okay. I'll just try it and see how it goes.

Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah. What do you think if there is something you can pinpoint, like the biggest thing you've taken away from therapy? There's so many, but I think communication, like learning how to like communicate, like communicate thoughts, feelings, experiences. I think I've learned so many like healthy ways of communications, especially like with myself. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Are you with communicating? Are you, I'm curious which one you are.

Starting point is 00:25:20 Because I'm in my marriage, I'm the type of person that like can't communicate, but that's because like I'm thinking of all of the thoughts and it's hard for me to like know how I'm feeling. And for my husband, he like knows how he's feeling that exact moment and wants to talk it through. Which one are you? I'm that person. I'm that person where I want to talk about it. And I want to talk about exactly what I'm going with and what you're going,

Starting point is 00:25:43 you're going through. And I want to talk about it like in the moment. Like let's talk about like how we're feeling here. But I wasn't always like that. I was more like you who would just like ignore, ignore my feelings and not talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. And that's another thing I'm thankful for this pregnancy.

Starting point is 00:26:00 I have, my patience is very low right now. And honestly, in a good way. because I have too much patience for everyone around me. So I've really learned how to speak up for myself. And also the timing is just ironic because a couple months before I got pregnant, I was telling my therapist, I was like, I'm really like, I want to learn how to communicate better. Like, I don't like that I do this because it just like, I want to be confident in how I'm feeling and be able to say stuff. And he's like, it's just a muscle.

Starting point is 00:26:33 Like, you'll learn to work through it. And funny enough, I now have because I have. I love that. So, do you have advice for anyone that may be hesitant about starting therapy? Most importantly, I think it's finding the right therapist because they think you want someone that you can relate to and you want someone that understands you and someone that's easy to talk to. And like you said, also holds you accountable. And so that's like important. And I also think that timing is important because you can also like not.

Starting point is 00:27:06 be ready to want to face all of that stuff. So I think maybe finding a good, someone who you feel comfortable with asking people around you who have been in therapy, what do you like about it, what don't you like about it? And read the Band-Aid off, you know, just try it.

Starting point is 00:27:22 And don't quit trying to find a therapist just because you met one and it was like terrible. Yes. That's such good advice. It really is, it is a relationship. Like you got to find, like don't get discouraged. if you don't connect with your person.

Starting point is 00:27:39 I have friends that has literally taken them like four therapists to find someone and then they find the person and it's like that's it. Like they're stuck. It's their perfect match. So it's really just like, it's really just like modern day mental health dating. Exactly. Exactly. Have you ever tried EMDR therapy?

Starting point is 00:27:59 No. I did. I did it one time, but I have my therapist wants to do EMDR therapy with me. But we, I haven't, I haven't been spent enough time in LA to actually do it, but I am going to do it. Okay. Just from talking with you, I've done it and I love it. And I feel like just from our brief conversation, I feel like you would like genuinely love it. It's really it's with the taps and the noises and all that stuff. Yeah. I'm excited to get back and to try it. Um, yeah. Oh my God, I have so many

Starting point is 00:28:28 questions for you. Did it happen? Like, did it change for you like immediate? Like, was it like immediate? it or did it like take time for you to like like um like because it's supposed to be like forgetting or like sort of like have re-experiencing yeah like something traumatic differently yeah yeah for me i did it specifically so i'm by like regular like previous job for that i don't know how to say it but i'm a registered nurse i worked as a covid nurse and a cardiac nurse like during covid and i developed really bad PTSD and depression from working and so that's what i did my EMDR for was for that time period. And it probably took me, I think, five sessions to, like, feel a difference and not like think back on those thoughts because you basically like talk through, you go back to whatever,

Starting point is 00:29:17 the stress or the trigger, the moment, the whatever it is. And you literally talk through it, but it's so visual and it's like, I have my jar and I take the memory out of the jar and I talk through it. Then I put it back in the jar and it goes away. But now it's like, now I can And it really helped. I was dissociating like really bad. My brain was just like off majority of the time. I couldn't remember people's names, places. And I like I knew there was names in places that I should know and remember.

Starting point is 00:29:47 So as the sessions went on, that was like coming back to coming back to me or kind of just, I guess my brain would stop doing that in a sense. It's really cool. It's it's, it's, it's, you have to be open to it. Like my husband tried two sessions of it because I was like, babe, it's amazing. You got to try it. And the second one, he was like, no, I don't think it's for me. I'm like, great, that's fine. You tried it, whatever.

Starting point is 00:30:13 But you got to. You have to surrender to the sessions and kind of track through it. But I'm excited for you. I think you're really going to. I'm going to try it. My therapist has been like, she wants to do it. But I have not been in town long enough to do it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:30 Perfect time. You know, you're coming down. It's just. Hopefully you can get some rest or relax time after this. You shared with us your mental health toolbox. I call it the toolbox. I'm obsessed with the toolbox analogy. I think it's so important.

Starting point is 00:30:45 I love pretending it's like up on my shelf and I pull the things out when I need. What is in your mental health toolbox that is your like go-to self-care, rituals, routines? What does it look like for you? So I have journaling is very important for you. me. I also have sticky notes on my mirror at home. I have affirmations. I have

Starting point is 00:31:11 meditations. So sometimes I do mindful meditations. And then sometimes I do guided meditation. It just depends on like what level my anxiety is that day. Yeah. It depends on like what exactly I do. Seeing nature

Starting point is 00:31:27 or being in nature. Eating food is sort of like my mental health. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, my God, what do I want to eat today? That's one of my things, talking to my therapist, and exercise, going to the beach is always really helpful for me.

Starting point is 00:31:49 Vacations are always really helpful for me. And I think just disconnecting, I think. Like, I'm one of those people who, like, I self-regulate. I like to self-regulate or take like some solo time like by myself. Yeah. We are very similar. That is literally me too. And that actually took my husband quite some time to figure out because I like thrive off of solo time.

Starting point is 00:32:19 I don't know if that's just how my brain is. I'm also an only child. So I was like maybe that like has to do with it. I don't know. But he was like, you don't want to hang out with me. I was like, no. Like I actually just need like give me 30 minutes. just by myself.

Starting point is 00:32:32 I use in silence, you know, take a shower, whatever it is. I just need that time for myself. And it's, and then I'm like back to my normal,

Starting point is 00:32:42 like external, personable self. Exactly. I feel like they call it an introverted. Like, I mean, I'm a true introverted

Starting point is 00:32:50 extroverted person. So like I can be around a lot of people and have a great time. Like I'm very comfortable in that, but I'm also introverted. So I also need that time

Starting point is 00:32:59 by myself to, to, to recharge. And like you, I have to tell people around me, like, the loving, like, I'm fine. Everything is okay. I just need some time by myself. Yeah. That is me I don't love you. Yeah. But in order for me the best, to be the best person of myself and be the best version for you, I need to take this time to be with myself. I don't know. You probably gave this picture a lot of time. But yeah, a true, a true, like, solo introverted person would like understand. Yeah. No, for sure. I genuinely spend an embarrassing amount of mental energy on lunch.

Starting point is 00:33:33 By 10 a.m., I'm already thinking about it. By 11, I've Googled three different places and closed all the tabs. And then by noon, I've gone back and forth enough times that I just order something I didn't want and spent $18 on it. This happens to me almost every single day. It takes up a surprising amount of space in your brain for a decision that should be simple. And I didn't even realize how much until I stopped having to make it. That's what Hewell did for me. Hewle Black Edition is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of what

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Starting point is 00:34:39 I keep both depending on the day and either way, the question of what's for lunch is just handled. The amount of mental space I've gotten back from not doing the lunch loop every day is real. Hewle is genuinely one of the easiest swaps I've made. Make healthy eating simple. Get Hewled today with my exclusive offer 15% off online with my code squeeze at Huel.com squeeze. New customers only, thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. I know this is going to sound a little out there, but stay with me.

Starting point is 00:35:12 There is a category of food that humans have eaten for literally thousands of years that is some of the most nutrient dense stuff on the planet, and most of us have completely stopped eating it. I'm talking about organ meat. liver, heart, kidneys, the stuff our ancestors ate and our modern diets just kind of quietly dropped. And look, I understand I am not cooking liver. That is not happening in my kitchen. But the gap between knowing something is incredibly good for you and actually getting it in your routine is real. And that's exactly where primal queen comes in.

Starting point is 00:35:47 Primal queen takes nutrient dense grass-fed beef organs and packs them into just two easy capsules a day. In a formula made specifically for women, which is why it also includes female organs like uterus, ovaries, and philippian tubes. And before your brain goes somewhere weird, you don't taste any of it. The nutrient profile on these is genuinely impressive. Zinc and copper to help support energy, mood, and cognitive function. Iron, which matters because about one in three women under the age of 50 in the U.S. are iron deficient. I am one of those. vitamin A for skin and vision, a full mix of B vitamins, minerals, and amino acids, all from grass fed, pasture-raised

Starting point is 00:36:28 organs with no hormones, no antibiotics, gluten-free, non-GMO, and third-party tested. And for a limited time only, our listeners are getting a free month of Primal Queen, plus four free gifts at Primalqueen.com slash squeeze. That's primalqueen.com slash squeeze to get a free month and four free gifts today. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Okay, I have to talk about Lulu Lemon because a new fall collection just dropped yesterday, September 8th, and I genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. There's something about fall where you actually want to start fresh. New routine, new energy, new everything. And for me, that always extends to what's in my closet.

Starting point is 00:37:15 What am I actually reaching for? And what's going to make me feel like the version of myself? I want to be this season. And that's exactly what this fall collection feels like it was designed for. Because Lululemon always delivers on comfort and quality. But this fall, they seriously raise the bar on style too. We're talking pieces that don't just move with you. They actually look elevated while doing it. The fabrics are incredible, as always, buttery soft Nulu and satin-smooth Everlux.

Starting point is 00:37:42 But the aesthetic is on another level in this collection. There's real intention behind the silhouettes and how everything comes together. What I'm most excited about is the smooth, spacer, relaxed, collared half sip, and the high-rise wide-lake pants set from the lifestyle drop. Soft on the outside, smooth on the inside. It's that elevated lounge meets polished look I've been searching for. The kind of thing you wear when you want to look put together, but feel like you're wearing nothing. And the collection spans everything. Yoga, run, training, lifestyle.

Starting point is 00:38:13 So whatever fall looks like for you in terms of movement, there's something in here designed specifically with that in mind. mind. Go to Lulu Lemon to get a sneak peek at the new collection. Styles start dropping September 8th and as always popular colors go fast. So be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work for you, free returns always. That's Lululemon.com. Lululemon.com. What is, I'm curious, what does journaling look like for you? Do you have a prompt? Is it like something that's guided? Do you just write whatever's on your mind in your journal? Yeah, I'm very much so right. Whatever's on my,

Starting point is 00:38:48 mind and just like I free write yeah like it's like I sort of let myself just start writing and if the thought changes and the thought changes but I just go in there and I'll just like write yeah what is that something that has just come naturally to you to free write like that because I feel like I it took me a while to start journaling because I was like well what do I do like yeah what are right in there. Was that easy for you to just do off the bat or did that take you some time? I think, you know, it's sometimes it's easier for me to free journal if I have something like that I really mean to get out. But if it's just a regular day and I'm just like writing just because, you know, my therapist wants me to, you know, just get like any feelings out,

Starting point is 00:39:44 then I just don't force myself to like have to. write all the way through. So like sometimes I could just like write two lines and like daydream and like then think of something. So I don't rush it. So if there's a time where I feel like I'm having a hard time expressing it or writing, I don't rush it. I let whatever come up come up and I can be like, wow, that's a red board. And I could just write about the red board. And then it'll get it. I think it just frees me up to like then get to like something else. But I don't, but I used to be like, it's not working. Like, you know, sometimes I can't figure out what to write. So I'll just like write about like stuff in the room and then that'll get me like a place of writing. Yeah. That's good. Um, are there any signs that maybe you start to do or your body shows you when you are moving too fast and you haven't taken that time to have that quiet time to yourself.

Starting point is 00:40:42 Yes. Um, I think it's very, um, it's anxiety. You know, I start to feel very anxious. And I don't sleep well. Like, I'll start to sleep like less and less. And that's usually like signs that like, I need to like slow down. Yeah. Are you someone that when when that anxiety comes, do you revert back into a bubble? Or do you still like put yourself out there and still put yourself around people?

Starting point is 00:41:13 You know, I'm still learning. Like, I'm still learning like all of this stuff right now. So it depends on how comfortable, you know, I feel. Like if I feel that I can be comfortable being, or no, vulnerable, like, in that way, then yes, I would put myself out there. But if I feel like, you know, maybe I'm not in the best place and I think I would, like, stay to myself. Yeah, for sure. How have you learned, like even right now the season you're in? how do you

Starting point is 00:41:46 prioritize these practices are incorporating that self-care quiet time when things get busy I just take the great question yeah

Starting point is 00:41:56 I just I just take the time like I don't I don't ask for it like I just take it and I just do it because I realize how I feel

Starting point is 00:42:09 if I don't do it so I just do it that's so true I'm curious, what's one, if you can pick, what's one small thing that you do from your toolbox for your mental well-being that you think anyone listening, our lemon drops? That's what our listeners, that's their name, our lemon drops. Anything our lemon drops could realistically incorporate into their life, you know, after they listen to this episode, what's one thing you wouldn't encourage them to do?

Starting point is 00:42:40 I think meditations, like meditations is meditating. is the most helpful for me. Like, obviously, try to all the lemon drops, try different versions, you know, of meditating. Because sometimes it's hard for people to sit still for 20 minutes, but then there's guided meditations, and there's musical meditations, and there's physical, you know, meditation.

Starting point is 00:43:03 So find exactly what works for you, but taking that time, even if it's like 20 minutes a day, to really just like take account, of what's going through your mind, like what you're thinking about. It's the highest form of self-love. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:21 Have you ever done a sound bath? Yes. Okay. Wait, is it sound bath? Wait, the sound bath is when you go to the place, and then they do the don't. They have the bowls. Yes, yes, yes.

Starting point is 00:43:32 I have done that. I love those. Yes. I remember my first one, I was like a little, well, I mean, I love all the foo-fui thing. So I'm never actually like really nervous. to do.

Starting point is 00:43:44 Me too. But I was like, what am I going to think about? Like, while I'm lying here this whole time. And it's so crazy to just see when you let your mind, like, just kind of like free brain, like just like have like free time almost. Like it works through all of these thoughts. And like I feel like I like my heart rate would go up. And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I'm asleep.

Starting point is 00:44:07 Like it's just, it's crazy to see like when you actually sit down and you're like, what am I going to do? what your brain actually does. It's crazy. And you feel so much more rested, you know, it's like, it's, or you think that like, wow, I don't have time to do this meditation. Like, I have to go do this. And then you actually like take the time and you're so much more poised and like full. It's like, oh, okay. Now I feel like I can handle everything. Yeah. I need to do another one. It's been, that's been way too long for me. I want to talk about you and this season. Um, of life that you're in now. And moving forward, honestly, I want to know who, who do you feel

Starting point is 00:44:49 like you are in this season of your life right now? If you could describe yourself in this season that you're in and three words, what would that be? I would say brave. I definitely feel like brave. I definitely feel like I am, I don't know if there's one word, but I am trying new things. like trying like new things whatever the word the one word is for that yeah and i think the third word is honest hmm sweet yeah um is there anything that you are currently or have recently learned about yourself yes i am a i i i just did the summer camp where i went to um London for a month and did like a Shakespeare camp and I was so nervous about it because I like moved on campus and like there's like the whole experience and it was it was the time of my life and I learned

Starting point is 00:45:57 about myself that I am so much braver than I think and also I can be anywhere in the world and and still make a great time for myself. Like, you know, because I didn't know anyone there. It was meeting all new people. And I didn't know, like, how I didn't know how I was going to go. But, you know, I went there and I came back feeling like, oh, wow. Like, I could, I could really be in a lot of different places and still find my footing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:35 I love that. Wait, that's so sweet. I'm so proud of you for doing that. I mean, not that you need that, but that's awesome. I feel like it gets harder as we get older to do things like that, to be brave of like, go, like, try something new. Go do something where you don't know anyone. Like something as big as that. That's awesome.

Starting point is 00:46:54 Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. But it was scary. Like, you know, moving there. Like, we had the dorms, shared bathrooms and all that, but just going there, like, just going. Oh, my gosh. I love that.

Starting point is 00:47:06 That's so cool. It was fun. In this season, what are you making more space for? Compassion. Like compassion and self-love. I'm making more space for whatever comes up that day. Whatever comes up for me and whatever space that I'm in, allowing that to happen. You know what?

Starting point is 00:47:31 I was saying all this to say, making more space for me to be a human being. That's so good. Just, yeah, letting yourself, like, live, take those risks and make those mistakes. Yeah. And I'd be upset at myself because I made a mistake. Just being okay. Just like, it's just a day, darling. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:51 I know. I was just talking with someone and they were like, like, failures aren't actually like losses. They're actually just like stepping stones to success or change or whatever you have going on in your life. Like we need to have those little like slip up those accidents. to learn from and have that stepping stone to get us to where we're going in our next chapter. Yeah. Moving into this next season for you after the show, what are you most excited for? What are you most excited to do now?

Starting point is 00:48:21 You're like, rest. That's what I'm excited to do. Definitely rest. But I am more excited to create and create from scratch. I love Pliot. it's such a pleasure playing her and bringing her to life but I'm so excited to bring

Starting point is 00:48:43 other characters to life. Yeah, I love that. What do you think the biggest thing she's taught you about yourself is? For her, it's just like, I think we spoke about this one already, but just like, just go for it. Like, just go for it.

Starting point is 00:49:01 Like, just go for it. Like, just go for it. Yeah, I love that. Awesome. Well, thank you for taking the time. time to thank you so much sit down and chat I'm so excited about

Starting point is 00:49:09 this final season and excited for you to do your EMDR and take another sound bath and take some time for yourself I love that and congrats on your baby thank you

Starting point is 00:49:23 thank you I know I'm like I'm ready it's where it's time it's time we're there please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services

Starting point is 00:49:48 individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

The Squeeze - Carlacia Grant: Brave Enough To Surrender

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