The Squeeze - Charli D’Amelio: Hard Truths

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Things look a bit different around here! We’re super excited to show you our rebrand that we’ve been working on! From a studio revamp to getting Taylor (fully) on the cover art and more, The Squeeze is growing up! To help show off the new look, your hosts are joined by TikTok queen Charli D’Amelio. To have someone with her level of visibility (she rocks a casual 151.2 million followers on TikTok alone) speak about her mental health is going to impact the next generation in incredible ways. She joins the Lautners to discuss her anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, and trichotillomania, which causes her to pull out her hair. She shares the tools she has in place to manage her mental health, how she keeps a sense of normalcy in her life despite her level of fame, and what you can expect from this challenging season of The D’Amelio Show.  Be sure to follow @charlidamelio  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode:  OUAI — Go to THEOUAI.com and use code THESQUEEZE for 15% off any purchase  Liquid I.V. — Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off ANYTHING when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code THESQUEEZE at checkout  Skims —The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75! After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows Beam — If you want to try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder, get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com/THESQUEEZE and use code THESQUEEZE at checkout  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail]. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner + on TikTok @thesqueezepodcast  To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Auto-hue with Sunny Cars feels as if the children not be made. Tiselstramble, Zand-Worda. Actis-verkeer, verdwine, vacancy can chaotic

be chaotic. But who zorgloose an auto-hurt says, Uno, does no stress. No, no-verwashed to cost, always full-ledged. So,

would auto-hue without your re-sadviseur or sunny-cars. My relationship with social media for a while was not good at all because people

saying stuff about me, publications, press, random people online that would like nitpick everything that I did. I would consume so much of that content that I started to believe it myself. There was many times where I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate what I do. I hate every video I put out. Everyone keeps saying I'm a whole person. Like, are they right? Am I? I was like struggling to a point where like I did not want to be here. When life gives you lemons, What do you do with them? Over here at The Squeeze, we talk about it.

Happy Wednesday and welcome back to The Squeeze. Hello, everyone. Thanks for joining us on this beautiful Wednesday. A very exciting episode today. Yes. If you are not watching on YouTube, then you are missing out on this beautiful rebrand that we have done. We have been waiting to show you guys this. We put in a lot of hard work.

Shout out to my dad for helping me hang this wood behind us. Thank you, Mr. Taya. It's not just the studio. We were doing a complete rebrand because we just felt like it was time. And mainly because if you didn't start from the beginning with us, then you wouldn't know this, which is when we started this show, the idea was that it was going to be Tays thing. and I was going to be

kind of just a fill-in host. He was my full-time husband, part-time co-host. Yeah. Was his little slogan. But shortly after we started, we did the first couple episodes, we had our first one or two guests,

and I was like, okay, this is good. I want to be a part of this. So here we are. We're almost 40 episodes. Later. Yeah, almost. Yeah, 38, I think. And we just, we both, you know, as a couple, as individuals, as friends, have enjoyed this experience so much.

And we both get so much out of it. And we love seeing what our guests get out of it while they're here in this safe space room. And we love seeing what the show gives to our listeners. viewers. So we're just incredibly thankful. It's already beyond our wildest dreams what this show would have done. But that being said, we have new cover art. Yes. We have a new studio. But yeah, we wanted the cover art to kind of reflect what the show is now because our original cover art was me with like Taylor in a little corner. Very adorable. Which was cute, but not an accurate representation of what the show is. It looked like a cover of.

us weekly. Oh my gosh, it did. Where they have the like the little bubbles in the corners. That's so funny. Like the side stories. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Yeah. So yeah, I wanted to update that and yeah, if you're new here, welcome.

We are so happy to have you. Good time to tune in. Good time to tune in because boy, do we have a freaking good episode for you today. Oh, that too. Yeah, mainly that. I think we filmed one of my most favorite episodes because I don't think I've ever related to a guest like I have the guest we have today, Miss Charlie DeMilleo. Yeah, I was kind of in shock the whole interview, and you'll see me just looking over at

Girl Tay every time Charlie says something, and it sounds exactly like Tay. And I'll just like be like, what? And it just kept happening over and over and over again. Yeah, I felt like I was literally just talking to someone that like completely understood me, which is funny because like we, I mean, as you guys hear in the interview, we struggle with the same things and we have very similar backgrounds to a certain agreement. Yeah, to a certain degree. Little habits that we do that are very random, but we both do them. So it was so fun. And I, Charlie totally exceeded every sought expectation. I mean, obviously we know who she is. She's the quatim TikTok, and we've, you know, seen her everywhere for quite some time. And we thought she was a lovely person before she came in, but her sitting and actually getting to talk one on one with her, she is so well spoken and so articulate. Like, as a 19 year old, I don't think I was that. I still don't even think I'm not articulate. But she was so kind, so sweet. just a joy.

And I feel like people maybe wouldn't think that about her if you're, you know, judging her from, because she's, you know, famous from TikTok. But she's truly just like a very down to earth, sweet human who I was like, when we were done with the interview, I was like, oh, dang, she's got to go now. Like, I've enjoyed my time with her. Yeah. I mean, I knew she was going to be, like, sweet and that she's, you know, a good human. Yeah. But I will just say whether you're, if you are listening because you're a Charlie fan,

you know what I'm about ready to say, but if you're somebody like me, just joined TikTok three, four months ago, that had a preconceived idea of who Charlie DeMelio is, I think, yeah, I think she's going to shock you. She really, like Girl Tays said, like she's just so smart and just really has a lot of great insight.

Yeah. And we just, we felt like she was Tay's little sister. We really connected with her. And I miss her already. I want her back in the chair. I know. But yeah, it's a great conversation. And I think you guys are going to enjoy it quite a bit.

Yeah. Should we jump in? Yeah, I think we should. All right. Let's jump in. Charlie, here we come. Thank you for joining us on the squeeze. We are so excited to have you.

I'm excited to be here. We usually start. each episode by just going back to the beginning. But with you, we actually wanted to start just by saying thank you. Because for somebody like you, with your level of visibility, speaking openly and honestly about your mental health is just massive. And I really, I don't think I know it is going to impact the upcoming generation. And I just think it's huge. And I hope you know that because it's really wonderful and it's really beautiful.

So thank you. That's so sweet. Of course. Yeah. It's true. Yeah, Julie. We're very thankful for that. And we know it's like it's not easy to do.

And it definitely is scary and takes a lot. So yeah, we're just thankful for, you know, shedding light on mental health. Yeah. I feel like most people would assume. that your anxiety came from your life, you know, within the last few years. But is it true that you've kind of, that's always been something that's been a part of your life? Like long before Yeah. 2020. I mean, when other people in my life started noticing that I had anxiety, I was in like third grade. Wow. It was not. That's crazy. I've never lived without it. Obviously,

there's been times where it's heightened, but I've, I mean, from as long as I can remember, I've always been a very anxious person about everything. And I would say my worst time dealing with anxiety was probably like 12. That was when I used to get really severe panic attacks. And I was like, sometimes I would look at my parents when I was going through this and they almost felt so helpless because this is this 12 year old child. And I, I struggled with my mental health a lot growing up just from how my body chemistry is. That's just who I am. And I've struggled with OCD for pretty much my whole life.

I used to have this thing that not a lot of people know about. And I don't know if I've ever really talked about it, but it's called Trichotelmania. And yeah, my panic attacks and anxiety attacks would make me pull my hair out. Oh. And it's something that it's almost like embarrassing to talk about. out because it seems so random like, well, just stop. But that was how much my mind controlled everything in my life. Yeah.

And I've never lived without it. I've never gotten to experience just like pure bliss because that's always been my life, how I think. It's so crazy. And I just like wish I could give my little self a hug because that was just like so horrible to feel that, that young. Yeah. Yeah.

sure. You've also never talked about that. Yeah, I don't know how to say it. I can't, I can't ever say it. I have that as well. I struggled with it a lot in high school and even like a little bit in nursing school. But mine was like I would pull my eyelashes and I literally would have like, yeah, I guess I have never talked about it. No, you haven't. And I guess we kind of did, I kind of did too because when we started dating, I was a nursing school. But I would literally have like, just like, like, I was missing my eyelashes from like here to here. in my eye and there would literally like be nothing and that's I still well now that I have like nails on I keep them on because it helps me from doing that yeah um but before I had them on it's just like even when I like get nervous or I'm concentrating I just like pull them you're so much better with it now yeah but I used to have to all the time be like smack my hand away yeah and like take her hand out she because she would just be in this like zone and just like overthinking everything and just gnawing at her eyelashes. It's such a wild thing that that's the way your anxiety comes out.

Yeah. And there's definitely been like ups and down. Still sometimes I catch myself like, what are you doing? Like you're so far past that. You don't have to do that. Yeah. But it's such, and to meet someone else that has that, it's so crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, I definitely don't like hear about that. And yeah, I think I have gotten better. So I don't really like think about it. There definitely are times that I'm like, I find myself. I'm like, okay, now let's do something. else. But yeah, that definitely was like a very big part of my life. My mom would be like, what are you doing? My mom is an aesthetician and is very into like things. Very exciting. She had chunks of her eyelashes. And yeah, I would literally just glue a little like

the single ones in my eye, like go to school. I would wear really thick eyeliner so that you like couldn't tell. Fill it in. Fill it in. What can you do? So something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey, journeys as individuals, and as a couple, has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support 100% online.

You will experience the all-new cerebral way, an innovative approach to mental wellness designed around you. You'll get a personalized treatment plan from a therapist, prescriber, or both in a safe and judgment-free space. I love that cerebral is 100% online because that means you have no excuse. You have to go. There's no, oh, I don't have time to go drive. It's too long of a drive.

No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work, and it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah. And it's, it'll just keep you accountable too. So we highly, highly encourage that you guys check out cerebral because therapy is just done wonders for us. And we know it'll do the same for you. To get started on your path towards better mental health, cerebral is giving our listeners 15% off their first month of online therapy, medication, or both. Get started at cerebral.com slash podcasts and use code the squeamers. to make 2024 your best year yet. That's Cerebral C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L.com slash podcasts and use code the squeeze.

Offer is only valid on monthly plans. Other exclusions may apply. See C-Sy for details. Get going on that therapy. So when you are like in third grade, was it you or somebody else other people that started noticing it? you know, in you? Well, to me, that was just how everyone thought. Because that was all I knew.

I didn't know any better. So I thought, well, everyone gets immense anxiety and has panic attacks, you know? Yeah. But my parents, like, they got me a book that was Wimberley Worries. And it was like a book about anxiety for children. And I've just, they tried everything to kind of like help me. I was in therapy, very young. and I just, that was, that was all I knew.

I didn't know anything was like, nothing was wrong with me, but there was something in my brain that made me think the way I did. Yeah. I do want to ask you something because you were holding a red bull, and this is something that you can do what you want with this. Have you ever tried cutting out caffeine? It's hard. I know, I know. She went through the same thing.

We can, you know, it's everyone, you know, to each person it's different. But for me, I cut caffeine out and it was literally the worst thing because I'm obsessed with coffee, as I know you are too. And I mean, I just switched to decaf. So like it's still tastes the same. You'll do a half calf too. Now, well, now I've graduated back to half cap. But I completely cut out all caffeine because I was getting to a point where I would start my day and have like a cup of coffee. I'd be sitting. And then like two to three hours later, I would literally just like be like anxious and shaking and I would like have to go lay down and like I couldn't like do anything. thing. And we talked about it and I started seeing a psychiatrist and he was like, you should try cutting out caffeine. And we have a friend that went through the same thing. And I was like, no, I don't really want to. I really like coffee. But it was finding the adjustment or like finding the decaf or doing tea or doing like drinking Sprite. I drink Sprite all the time because that's like my like little thing. But if you haven't tried that and you feel an urge ever, it worked. wonders for me because now I'm like I mean maybe just like try it for a month see what it's like yeah that's hard the first I know the first like week or so I was like I hate this I was getting headaches and I didn't even my body wasn't even like actually gaining anything I feel like from the caffeine like it wasn't waking me up anymore but it was like I was addicted to it I like had to have I could drink coffee like before bed and be like fall asleep and be fine yeah but what it was doing

on like a cellular level and my brain was not okay. And that's definitely, um, helped me. But I just thought about that because I saw your Red Bull can in the night. Yeah, no, I'm the worst. I always have something coffee, cold brew, Red Bull Celsius. Like, yeah. I had my coffee in the car and Red Bull I brought it here. Like it's, I'm never without it. But my sister had to cut caffeine out. She has non-apaleptic seizures. And that was something that was affecting her. So she had to cut it out. And I saw how hard that was for her. Oh, wow. Because she's a big Red Bull drinker, too.

Yeah. Wow. Wait, what's non-epileptic? Yeah, it's, I think it's psychogenic, non-epileptic seizures where it's like you don't have epilepsy, but you can get seizures. Okay. It's really, I don't know that much about it, honestly, but she had one a couple months ago and literally, like, on the side of the road, I don't even know where they were.

They were like sunset, something, like, and she had to get taken in. an ambulance at a hospital was like crazy. Wow. She had to cut caffeine out for a while. Geez. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's a wild thing to have and to learn about.

Yeah, we've recently talked about epilepsy because we had Cameron Boyce's parents on. And, you know, he passed away in 2019. From a seizure. Yeah. He had epilepsy, so. But yeah, he had it rough, but they're very passionate about. talking more about epilepsy and stuff. It's so crazy. I had a friend who had epilepsy and like watching that and how it would affect

her life. She couldn't get her license when everyone else got it. She couldn't like do certain things. It's crazy how big it is and not a lot of people like are very open about it. Yeah. Well that was that was the biggest thing we learned from them is that like I mean I've heard of it because I'm a nurse and I've like seen it but like you don't hear people like talking about it. And they were telling us how, like, there's such a stigma behind it. But I'm like, I mean, it's very ignorant of me to say, but why. But it's something that I feel like needs to not have a stigma around it because, like, that's not, that's, that's that joke. I mean, if people knew how to respond to someone having a seizure, like, just things like that.

I would freeze. I know. I would have no idea. Do you want to know what to do? Do you want to know what to do? Yeah. If they're, like, sitting in, like, an unsafe area, you get them to the floor. There's different kinds of seizures, too.

There's ones that can look like strokes. There's ones where they're like, when you think of seizure, like you're shaking. There's like four or five different kinds. But you get them on the floor, put them on their side. On their side. Because sometimes you can like throw up after. So they don't choke. But get them to like a safe space and lay them down.

That's crazy. They should clip that and put that everywhere. So I think more people need to know about that. Yeah. It's scary. Like seeing someone sees is very scary. Oh, I can imagine. Yeah.

I've never seen it happen, but I saw a video. and is like traumatizing. Yeah. To see someone you love go through that. Yeah. What tools have you put in place because you've been, you know, dealing with anxiety for so long? Are there like tools like therapy or different like self-care things that you've put in place

and you're like, I need this. Like this helps me so much. Yeah. I'm in therapy for sure. That's something that I think is so important, you know, good times and bad times in your life. Yeah. I think it's important to not just do it when you're hitting, rock bottom.

Yeah. Things like just trying to, oh, one of my big things, which is funny because we were just talking about, like traveling, that really, really sets me off. And that's big OCD mixed with anxiety because I hate leaving my space, my stuff. Yeah. My dogs, my bed. Like, it really, really bothers me and stresses me out. So every single time before a trip without fail, and I've been like this for years,

even when we would go from Connecticut to Louisiana to go see my family crying every single time before I left because I didn't want to leave my stuff. So now I'm like, that's my new thing that I'm trying to get better at. But I mean, I've tried all of the different like breathing exercises, different things to do with your eyes to calm you down and regulate your nervous system. It's like little random things like looking side to side like that, confusing your brain. actually treating my ADHD helped my anxiety a lot, which is very random and weird, but anxiety and OCD together is like the worst headache.

It's because you're focusing on a million things, but no, I need to focus on this one thing, but I can't, and it's like back and forth. So that really helped my anxiety a lot, which is random. And I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD and OCD until two or three years ago. Okay. So it's pretty new and learning about what is going on in my brain and what is ADHD, what is OCD? Because it's so different on everyone. Like my boyfriend has OCD really bad, but he has it like when you think of OCD and you think like step twice, numbers this, have to say this this many times.

He has that. Mine is very internal. Yeah. So it's like it's a lot easier to figure it out once you kind of know what's going on. on, which was helpful. But like, I've tried everything. You know, tricketal mania is like a form of self-harm and I've struggled with that for a while and like to manifest itself in different ways. So it's, you know, when I don't get angry, but when I get to a point where I start to feel more anger or more mad, it's like throw ice at a wall, like random. But it helps. Got to get your mind on

something else. Just like little things like that. Yeah. I literally feel like we are the same. person. I'm just like a little older than you. Like everything you were saying I'd like to a T. I know. Relate to you. I recently just was diagnosed with ADHD and that and like anxiety and depression really coincide. And I literally just like got prescribed medication yesterday. I need to go pick it up. But like just how those like coincide and the same thing with like I can't like express myself very well in words. And that has my husband has. been very gracious with me because he's very good at, like, he knows what he feels and he's like, I feel this. And I'm like, I don't know like what I feel. It's the processing of it. The processing.

It's like when she gets overwhelmed with whatever that feeling is like and I like am asking her like, what's going on? What are you feeling? Like she can't put together. Yeah. And then I get like more upset because I can't like put it into words. And then like my thing when I get upset sometimes, I'll literally like punch a pillow. I'll like get on my bed and I'll like touch it a few times and I'm like okay I feel better. Yeah. Let me think now. Oreo just start crying. Or yeah.

I'm like I cry at any emotion because I don't know how to express myself. And my biggest word is I don't know. Yeah. And my boyfriend all the time he's like a let's just get over it right now and be just for the first time ever. He said something. He made plans to go do something and I made plans to go do something but he wanted me to go with him. And I was like, well, I didn't know it was an actual plan. made other plans. And we just, then and there, he didn't let me leave. He was like, stop saying,

I don't know. Like, you need to tell me what's going on so I can understand it. Yeah. And then we had the conversation and I was able to figure out what I wanted to say. Yeah. And then he solved it. And it was like, oh my gosh, faith, that was so easy. What have I been doing this whole time? So that's a big thing in therapy. Like, stop saying, I don't know. Tell people how you're feeling because it makes everything's so much easier, but it's so hard when I'm like, but I genuinely do not know how I'm feeling right now. So I can't tell you. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is, like, I'm trying to figure this out too. Yeah. Mine is like, I'm sorry or like, I'm sorry or it's okay. Like, that's what I say all the time. And my therapist was, it has always been, like, I'll just like tone down situations, even though

they like were very, like, I worked as a COVID nurse and like that gave me a PTSD and a plethora of mental things and like going to talk to him and I would like share with him all the stuff and I'd be like, but it's okay. Like I'm thankful for it. He's like, no. Like it was not okay and stop being thankful for it. Like genuinely no, like that was not okay. Like you don't need to say, but it's fine. It wasn't fine. Yeah. That's a big thing that I do. Oh, well, okay. It's good stuff. Yeah, we're buddies. Yeah, literally same people. Okay, I have a question. I don't like the term. overnight success. I've had people, like, you know, over the years use that a lot with me and just

people I know. And I just hate the term because so much work goes on behind the scenes, you know, that 99% of the world has no idea of before they start seeing, you know, the fruit of what you've been working towards. But I do feel like if there was a close definition, to overnight success, you would be pretty close to it. Yeah, because of the world of social media. Yeah, just the timing of everything. Yeah. When your videos just started going more and more viral,

you started accumulating millions and millions more followers daily. Was there ever like a specific moment that you just sat back and were like, holy crap, what is happening? I think there's been a couple small versions. versions of that. I genuinely don't think that it's hit me yet exactly what's happened. And I think a lot of that has to do with most of my success coming from COVID and all of these people saying that they were fans of me and me not being able to see any of these people. Because yeah, there's comments and comments and people and they're following me. But I don't, like none of these people are, I'm seeing. I'm not, you know, on tour or

or doing meet and greets, you know? I'm just, well, these people say they like me, but I don't know. These could all be bots, who knows? Yeah. It's really hard to understand, but I would say probably my most clear moment of this is crazy was winning, dancing with the stars.

Yeah. And I was genuinely like in shock. Really? It was crazy. I didn't even cry and I'm a crier I'm a big cry I was just like

what do I do I do but that was one of the first things that I really had to you know put the work in do the work you can't just go out there without practice and I

that was one of the first times where I really felt like I deserved it because I put in so much work and it wasn't just like a well it happened I was like I was like I was like

I would in that studio every single day for three months and me and my partner we were never not dancing. So I was like, good job, Charlie. You did it. You did really good. And you should be proud of yourself. And that was when I was like, look at me go. That was really cool. I do love that. I love that. But I hope you know, and I know that you know this, but like nothing was handed to you. Like you are where you're at because, one, you're incredibly talented and you have to be incredibly hardworking to be where you are. So never forget that. It's crazy.

I think back to growing up and I literally always was filming myself taking dance videos. I have videos of myself and I was like, it's been six on my big computer in the house just dancing for hours. I want to get all of those videos. Oh, yeah. I would film myself doing my makeup. I would film myself making food. I always love doing it. I just never posted it.

Yeah. It's like how much of that prepared me for what I do now. Yeah. That's so crazy. Wow. Oh, my gosh. She was preparing herself all along. Yeah.

How do you keep like a sense of normalcy in your life? Because I mean like sitting here talking to you, you're just like, seem like a normal person who's like chill. and because you are, you're constantly going places, doing all these things. How do you keep that level of like normalcy in your life? I love to be alone. I love to be by myself. Okay. Your guys are the same person.

You're literally the same person. I find so much joy in just being content on my own. And I definitely don't hype myself up, which, you know, is good and bad. But it helps me. Like, I'm not walking around the house. like, and this is who I am. You know, I also have an older sister who viciously humbles me every day, which is really fun. I mean, my parents, they've always said from the beginning, they were like, this is great,

but you don't, like, social media comes and goes. And I've always had that in the back of my mind. Like, one day, no one could care about who I am. So let's just appreciate the moment. And, like, I'm not Beyonce, you know? I'm not, I'm just not, and I'm fine with that. Like, I'm cool. She, I'm not, I can't be doing all that. So, it's just keeping in the back of my mind that like, like there's a million people who dance better than I do make more quality content, but it happened to me.

So, you know, appreciate it, but appreciate the fact that there's a million people who could do your job. And the reason that you are the way you are is because of the people that support you. so you just have to remember that and appreciate it. Yeah, that's such a good outlook. It is like, it is a lot. Even just like having a dog

who literally doesn't care how many followers you have, they just love you for you. It's like keeping those things in mind. Yeah, that's so special. Yeah. Is there something that there doesn't need to be, but is there something like that you miss

about like your life pre. Life prior to. Crazy fame. Yeah. I miss high school a lot. I do. I didn't get to finish. I stopped going to school in sophomore year. Yeah. But my freshman and sophomore year of high school were like the best times of my life. I swear.

I miss that a lot. But, you know, that's also just growing up. Couldn't be in high school forever, you know? So I don't really feel like I'm missing out a lot. And I still get to do a lot of fun things. But I'm also not, I don't like to leave the house much. So I don't feel like, oh, every time I go out, everyone wants to take photos. Sometimes sometimes I'll go like, weeks without leaving my house if I don't have to. So I don't, I honestly don't feel like much in my day to day has changed. I have a, I have a job, but everyone has to have a job, you know? Yeah. So it's, it's nice.

I really, I don't find it that, I don't find it difficult to, I guess, be me, you know? Yeah. That's awesome. That's special too, because definitely a lot of people like lose the sense of like themselves when you're handed that. I've also seen that happen a lot. So I definitely try to keep myself a little bit more grounded. And I also am doing this with my family, which helps a lot because your parents are going to tell you the things you need to hear, not always the things you want to hear.

Yeah. And they just, they have always treated me very normally. They always have. As long as I can remember, they always said you have to protect your brand. You as a person are a brand. So don't go out doing crazy stupid things. things because it's going to be on jobs, college, everything. They were always very, very, you know, worried about that.

Not that they had to be worried, like, I was going to do some crazy things, but they were just like, be the person that you want other people to see. Don't be crazy and, like, a horrible person. Yeah. That's great advice. Yeah, for sure. Has it been, because, I mean, this has definitely been something. tricky for me. Has it been difficult at all with like friends and meeting people and,

you know, sifting through the who is there for the right reasons, you know, and protecting that inner circle of yours. Like, has that been a tricky thing? I mean, I don't go out a lot. So where do I meet these people. Honestly, met a lot of my friends through work, which is crazy. I never work with people my age. I'm usually the youngest, and I spent like 15, 16, 17, 18, those very important years where you make the friends and you're going to college and you're in high school, all that stuff, surrounded by a bunch of adults. So, or people, especially in the beginning, people who wanted to make videos together, but then I was never invited to actually hang out. Right.

And that was really hard because they'd be like, well, you're too young. And I'm like, but I'm not. Like, I'm not too young to film with. I'm like, you guys are just at the house. Like, I don't see the issue why I can't come if everyone else can go. Yeah. Which was really hard. And I mean, I definitely spent a lot of time without friends for a while, like not leaving my house, not doing anything.

But I met my friends through a dance job. And I met a bunch of kids my age. and the drive and the passion that they have, because they are doing what my dream growing up was. So getting to see that, and they're also very supportive of me. And I don't get that a lot. I'm not usually around people that are proud of me because a lot of times I was around people who viewed it as a competition.

And that's just so not my mindset, that it was really nice to feel that way. And I honestly, a lot of my friends and people that I hang out with are my boyfriend's friends who have now, you know, I've become so close with them. And some of the people that were on the dance job actually knew him because he grew up in L.A. And he like knows people from here. So that's really funny. So we all hang out together.

But I don't know. I don't really go out much if I am doing something. Like I'll have everyone to come to my house, which is really fun. Yeah. But I like to do small little get-togethers, but it is hard, and I've, I spent a lot of time with no friends. Yeah. But I think I needed that to, it's not worth it to have a bunch of people that don't actually like you around you.

Yeah. Yeah. That's so awesome that you like know this, because I feel like that takes people until, like, their middle age to, like, actually. There was a lot of hard truths for, like, 16-year-old me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, you're like finding good quality friends is so tough, especially out here.

But like your friends should be your biggest cheerleaders. Yeah. But also be able to hold you accountable. There's that like, there's that balance and that's what. Yeah, that's another hard thing. I'm consistently around people that are just going to. tell me what I want to hear. Yeah, that's the dangerous part.

I could be doing something that is like so dumb or something that's so bad for me. Yeah. And these people are going to tell me that. You know, I work with these people and they're not going to be like, you need to stop doing that. They're going to support me, which is great. It's great to feel supported, but that's why I'm so thankful that I have my parents because they'll be, they had to sit me down and we're not going to let you rot away in your room. We can't let you do that. You need to get your life together. You need to go outside. And it was really hard. And of course, I was like, oh my gosh. Like you guys, I'm 18, 19 years old. Like, leave me

alone. I'm an adult. I can do what I want. And then my boyfriend had to say, you have no fun. You have no friends. Like, genuinely. You need to do something because you're miserable all the time. You don't do anything for yourself. And now I've started doing a lot more, which is fun. Last night I went to horror nights, which is my first time. And that was so exciting. And those little things. Even earlier this week, he was like, you should hang out with friends tonight. And I was like, I just got back from a trip. Like, I really don't want to. And he's like, either you hang out with people or I'm going to go hang out with my friends. And I was like, well, I don't want to feel left out. So like, fine, whatever. And I ended up having so much fun. And it just, you know. And it just, you know,

takes that little push that makes you a little bit uncomfortable, but it then is always so worth it. Yeah. She is, she's your boyfriend to me. I'm, yeah, I don't, I don't like going out too much. I'll, you know. Not that I like it either, but you definitely, you. What's important to get out of the house sometimes? Yeah, and I, I'm good at getting out of the house and even if it's just by myself doing something. And you definitely are like, I'm not leaving my couch and I'll have to be like, come on, let's go to like, so-and-so's birthday party. And he's like, no, but like, we're not going to know anyone there. Like, it's not going to be, I'm like, okay. I'm not a large group of people type of person. It's a lot. If I can't find an outfit I like, I'm like, oh, well, I guess

it wasn't meant to be. Just like, you wear sweats and no one cares. It's fine. Yeah. I literally, like, I think a good routine we have now is I'm like, we'll go. Like, let's say hi to like whoever's hosting it or their birthday, whatever, we stay for 30 minutes, if you're ready to go, like, we'll leave. Yeah. But it's as simple as that. She's gotten smart with that. You have started doing that.

Because you always end up having fun. Yeah, I know. And this, this what I'm talking about specifically, we got there and I was like, I mean, we got there like, what, nine, which is, which is like, we don't go out. Like, nine or 10. And I was like, well, just go for like 30 minutes. Say hi. Tell them, happy birthday.

We ended up saying till 2.30 and that. the morning. Taylor was the living on the dance floor. This man does not know how to count and a count, was doing all of the things in this little... I ripped both of my jeans from doing knee slides on the dance floor. Like, it wasn't highly intoxicated. Like, was just like having fun. Like, and we got in the car and I was like, you're welcome. Well, if you're like, wasn't highly intoxicated. Definitely had... You had that... Definitely had some help, but not highly.

That's what I said highly. You had a couple, a drink or two. They were great margaritas. Yeah, Casamigos all the way. Oh my gosh. So not only you, but your whole family was kind of thrown into this limelight once everything started happening. And now, which we are caught up on the Demelio show, you have cameras. I'm just so curious about this because I don't know how I would do it.

How is it with cameras and crew following you around all the time in your house? I want to know what it was like the first season, like maybe compared to now. Like the first time they like started following you. Yeah. Sorry I didn't want to cut you off. That's true. Like in your safe space. You like, you love your safe space.

Like just like me. Like my home is my sanctuary. Like I can't imagine. I can't imagine it. How was that adjustment for you? It was really weird. I've always said this. I'm not meant to be in the spotlight.

My dream was to be a backup dancer. Like, I don't want to be the focal point. I don't enjoy it. I like to do my own thing. Having cameras in your house is very odd. You never really get used to it. Yeah. And it's also, you know, like, I'm in my room.

I'm in my house. I'm supposed to feel like I can say whatever I want. I can do whatever I want. I can wear whatever I want. It's my home. So having people in there and then having to rewatch it, it's really hard. I think the hardest time of filming besides this past season was when I was really, really struggling with like really bad cystic acne. And I literally, I didn't even want to look at myself. And I would just like cake makeup on. Then my face would get irritated so I would have to take it off. And then I just had red scabs all over my face. and I don't want to be here. I know I don't look my best. I don't feel my best.

I now have to go and talk because there's scheduled times for interviews and stuff like that. So going into that, I'm already not feeling great. And then I have to watch it back and then I have to hear everyone else talk about it. And I'm just like, okay.

But I think this past season was probably the hardest for us. Oh, really? It was a lot. Our family unit was strong. struggling a lot. And that was hard when you rely on your family as a whole and you don't have that strong bond and connection like we normally do made it really hard because, yeah, our family's going through a lot and now we have to talk about it. And now we're getting cuts back and

things are edited certain ways and you're like, well, I didn't mean it like that. And then you have to relive it four times. It's like, okay, I'm over it. Yeah. I was going to ask, like, is it, like, you think it makes it harder or easier or indifferent? Like, because it is all of you. Like, it's not just, like, one of you that's famous than the other ones are, like, just, like, not involved at all. You're all, it's literally your last name. You're all involved in it. You think that, like, makes it harder or easier? I think it makes it easier in a lot of ways. It's nice to have people that are going through the exact same thing that you are that you can talk about. And like I live with my older sister. I see my parents way more than any 19 year old should. We spend a lot of time together. And it's great. I love it. But there is the other side of things that's like, well, they're asking us all to do this. But it's like, well, it sounds so horrible to say. But like if I don't know. do it, they won't be able to do it. It's like sometimes that's a little hard. But then again, my dad helps with a lot of the business stuff, which is really nice, and he can

like explain things to me. And my parents will protect and support me unlike anyone else. And they care about me as a human being rather than how much money I'm bringing in. You know, and you get people in your life that are going to guide you in certain directions. That's maybe an for them rather than for you as a human. So it's nice to have all sides and, you know, we're family. Like most of season three, Dixie and I were like at each other's throats. We were not getting along, which then people, of course, take so out of context and it's crazy, the things that they say, who gets along with their siblings 24-7?

Like, sometimes we are best friends and then she won't talk to me for a week because I didn't braid her hair. It's like we go back and forth. And it's always so petty and stupid. But then it's great content for the show. People love to watch it. And then we just look back and we're like, that was so stupid. There was no need for that at all. And we're both so dramatic. So I mean, we like go back and forth. But at the same time, our family is like, we have each other's backs through it all. And if I, I could be so mad at my parents or my sister, but if I call them and I'm like, I need help from struggling. they will drop anything for me.

And I would do the same for them. Yeah. For sure. That's so important. Is there any glimpse or tease of what's still to come in season three? Oh, there's a lot. I'm honestly, I don't know what's out now. I know.

I don't watch it, but I can't listen to my voice. I don't watch videos myself. I think I'm like the most annoying person to like hear. I can't. And I use like the same five. adjectives. Like, awesome, so cool, amazing. That is something like, okay, shut up, Charlie. But there's something I'm really excited to see. Honestly, I, the things that I love about the show is getting to look back on really great times in my life and things be captured, like all the

behind the scenes of co-hosting the Kids Choice Award. It's like, I'm excited to see that. Behind the scenes of going on the Dancing with the Stars Tour, behind the scenes. Behind the scenes, of like finding all these great friendships that I didn't have before traveling. Like the really fun stuff that I think is just so special and we're such great times. Yeah. That it was like so cool. The stuff that no one has seen like what goes into co-hosting an award show. Who knows what that is?

Yeah. And it was so much fun and such a great time that I just, I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as I enjoyed doing it. Yeah. That's awesome. That's great. That's special. I was going to say, like, the younger generation can learn so much from you, but really, anybody and everybody can.

Like, I kind of had an assumption of you going, like a positive assumption going into this, but you just reaffirmed who I thought you were more than I can imagine. I'm just so impressed by you, and you're a really special person. And we're just very thankful that you took the time to come here today. It was a pleasure meeting you. I mean, this is amazing for me to get to talk about these things so openly, you know? Yeah. It's helpful, like, person to person to have that.

Yeah. We should definitely talk. Yeah. Dance session. I mean, I have a dance in a long time, so maybe not the dance session. I have a dance room in my garage. Hey. Oh, I will.

I've got Marley floors. Oh, my gosh. Wow. You mean business. Oh, my gosh. Well, thanks for hanging with us. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for squeezing us into your day.

Please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube. You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my lovely wife, at Tay Lautner. Check out the squeeze on Instagram at the squeeze. And also give a little glance and a follow to Lemons by Tay. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com. And also be sure to email us, lapner. dot the squeeze podcast at gmail.com. If you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see,

we've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey with those around you and send our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely. Tootles McGoodles, everyone. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation. Thank you.