The Squeeze - Dr. Sasha Hamdani: The Truth About ADHD

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

In this week's episode, Tay sits down with Board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD clinical specialist Dr. Sasha Hamdani! Dr. Sasha shares her background and what inspired her to write her new book Too Sensitive. She breaks down why ADHD is more of a disorder of regulation than a deficit of attention, how someone can be completely hyperfocused on something interesting while unable to complete a simple everyday task, and what differences in the ADHD brain actually look like during emotionally charged moments like criticism, conflict, or embarrassment. She explains why people with ADHD tend to feel emotions more intensely, what rejection sensitivity really is, and why ADHD symptoms can feel more intense during your menstrual cycle. Dr. Sasha also gets into what happens in the nervous system when someone perceives rejection or conflict as a social threat, what people can do when they recognize themselves in these patterns, and clears up the most common misconceptions about how stimulant medication works in an ADHD brain. She wraps up with the biggest thing she hopes people take away from Too Sensitive!Be sure to follow Dr. Sasha on https://instagram.com/thepsychdoctormd/!Get your copy of Too Sensitive here: https://msha.ke/thepsychdoctormd/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAcGRvZgJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadLkEqBK-UUHhs8d1wHpoIW7OMm6PrJEXW02ihjYdXNPaC8dVp-C7PrEohX0A_aem_53e2rG65E13BgJO7F-gSnATo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/SQUEEZE! #squarepodFor a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% OFF your first box! Go to TempoMeals.com/squeeze.Use code SQUEEZE at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #adHead to ladder.fit/SQUEEZE and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use my link and get a free 7-day trial with NO credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join.Whatever brings you joy, find it at Target.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. I want to know why ADHD symptoms can feel more intense during your menstrual cycle. With your cycles. And this is at multiple points, not only just in a month, but at different points in your life. When your estrogen drops. So think about the week before your period right after you deliver. Think about perimenopause, all of these times in a low estrogen state. When your estrogen drops, your dopamine drops because they travel together.

And they, you know, the estrogen kind of impacts the dopamine breakdown, having high estrogen. estrogen helps with dopamine synthesis when you get that drop. And then it's harder for you to do things that require executive function. It's hard for you to plan. It's hard for you to organize. It's hard for you to have cognitive clarity. So a lot of people complain a brain fog. Motivation is impaired.

Emotional regulation is so impaired. And so this is really important because a lot of times with people who have underlying ADHD, that premenstrual week comes, their dopamine drops. Their focus is trash. They can't get anything done. Because emotional regulation is not part of the criteria. when they are having a really hard time and their mood gets impacted as well, that's when people are like, you have anxiety, you have depression,

and you're really not just encapsulating or looking at the neurobiology of like, what is changing? What is this related to? And so they're being put on medications that may or may not help. This week's guest is special because she's actually been on the podcast before, but it's been a couple years than she's been in the studio. I'm joined by a board certified psychiatrist and ADHD clinical specialist, Dr. Sasha Humdani. If you've been with us for a while, then you may remember Dr. Sasha's previous episode before.

What I love about her and what makes her and her practice so special is that she herself has ADHD. So not only is ADHD the topic that she specializes in, but she also is able to relate to it and understand it in such a personal way. She has a new book out called Too Sensitive, and the book is all about breaking down why ADHD is more of a disorder. of regulation than a deficit of attention. You guys know how much I love the science behind these things. So diving into this topic I really have never even thought about before was really interesting. She explains why people with ADHD tend to feel emotions more intensely, what rejection sensitivity really is, and why ADHD symptoms can feel more intense during your menstrual cycle. We also get into what happens in the nervous system when someone perceives rejection or conflict

as a social threat, what people can do if they recognize themselves in these patterns and clears up the most common misconceptions about how stimulant medication works in an ADHD brain. Sasha has become a dear friend and I'm so excited that she's back on the podcast this week. There's so much to take away from this episode. I can't wait to hear what's it up to you. Well, Sasha, welcome back. Thank you for having me again. Were you on the first season?

I might have been. It was a while ago. It was a while ago. It was a while ago, but it was such a good episode. I loved it. It's one of my favorite podcasts. I loved it. I loved it.

Well, I'm excited today because you have a new book out, which I'm excited to dive into because I love your work. And I feel like I love recommending people to you too because it's personal. Like you have such a personal touch on like your job. So I think it's really special. But we start each episode off with this jar. I think we had the jar maybe last time you were here. Citrus got real.

If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there, and you can read it to our lemon drops. Let me see. Oh, my God. What's your most irrational fear? I feel like I have a lot of them. I'll tell you this because I was just flying. I'm scared of the exit row because I think I've seen too many like flying.

I'm worried the door will just like pop off and then I'll just get sucked out of the plane. Yeah. And that's like, no. I can't help anybody. That's so funny. I'm trying to think what mine is like, I don't think. Getting sucked out of the plane is yours? I don't think that's, I mean, the thought definitely has crossed my mind before.

Don't get me wrong. Yeah, probably like some like irrational, like intrusive thought. Maybe like an intrusive thought will win. Okay. Like about health? No. Like sometimes when I'm driving, I'm like, what if I just like, okay. Like one of those.

One of those might be. One of those might be. No, actually, you know what it is? It's me finding out I have a new allergy and like needing to go to the hospital because I'm like, my throat's closing and I'm dying. Oh, don't put that on me, man. Like, now that's mine. I think it's because I think one just because of the nursing background, but also I have multiple friends that have severe nut allergies. And so I think about it all the time, even though I'm not with, like, even when I'm not with them, I'm thinking about nuts.

Not so they're in food. I'm like, oh, so I can't have this. So I think that's why, but I'm like very, like, if it's a new medication or a new food that I haven't tried, which there really isn't many foods I haven't tried. But yeah, I think that would be that I'm like having an allergic reaction in my throat's going to close. I was insane. I just, I was on an antibiotic a few weeks ago. For the first time in my life, I had got. hives, which I've never, and I was like, first day I was like, hmm, I feel pretty hot. That's weird. Second day, I'm like, ooh, I'm very itchy. And then I called the doctor and I was like, something weird is happening. Like, I don't love how I feel on this. And they were like, there's only seven more days. Just keep going. And I was like, no, I think this is bad. And then like, I started getting scratchy around my neck. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. That was new for me. Oh, gosh. But not, like, my throat didn't close up. I mean, well, that's not.

That's scary too. I know. Well, I'm glad you're, you made it out of that. Alive and well. Yep, you're thriving. Alive and well and UTI free. We love that. Okay, so for our lemon drops, I maybe missed your first episode.

Can you give a little bit on your background? Yeah. So I am a psychiatrist, an ADHD clinical specialist. A lot of my work has stemmed from, like, research in ADHD. And then as, you know, things have progressed. And honestly, in the past three or four years, it started to move more into like looking at ADHD comprehensively and specifically into the emotional regulation side of things. And then that's what kind of led me into this newer pathway in terms of looking at just like emotions as a neurological phenomenon, like how we experience emotions, how we process emotions, just in general, which I think is even broader than ADHD. Yeah, for sure.

But a lot of overlap. Yeah. Your new book that's out. Yeah. Where did the idea, where did the idea come from? What has it been just your work or what made you want to write this? So in 2024, my dad passed. And it came really, really quick.

I think maybe the first time that we had the podcast, he was like starting to get sick, maybe. We've talked about it. Yeah. But so he, he had. had like underlying lung issues goes in for like just like he had like pneumonia because my cousin got him sick goes in for like standard kind of thing they're like there's a spot on his lung stage one cancer they're like it's going to be annoying I'm sorry but like we'll do the chemo we'll do the radiation then he's going to be fine and so we're like all right cool we did chemo

we did radiation and then he calls me and I was in Kansas City he was in California he's like I feel terrible. I fly back out and he looked terrible, looked really bad. So like, I rush him to the hospital. I was like, somebody do something. They were like, it's too early to get a pet scan. It's not showing anything. And I was like, I don't like, just figure out what's happening. They do a scan cancer everywhere, died 13 days later. Oh my gosh. So it went, like, it must have seated into a lymph node and just gone everywhere. And they couldn't, like, it just spread so aggressive. So in that time, obviously grief, difficult time. Yeah.

But it was the first time, I think, in my life as like a person, but also as a psychiatrist that I actually put together, like my emotional status directly impacts my functional status. So like the fact that I can't regulate my emotion in this like big, significant way, I also am having a really hard time caring for my young kids. I'm really having a hard time with working. And I'm like, okay, well, then let's go back and look at all these other things that grief objectively hard for everybody.

But like what about these other things? Like if like smaller emotional stimuli, I get locked up in the same way where it's hard for me to progress forward. And that's what made me start thinking about emotions just kind of along a spectrum, how people neurologically process them. Yeah. And that's the whole story. Yeah.

again, the personal background to everything. I want to kind of get into some of the topics in the book because you know me and you know I love learning about all of the things. Talking about ADHD as more of a disorder of regulation versus attention. Do you see, like can you explain that basically what that means? Yes. So ADHD, as it stands right now, the criteria is attention, definitely. hyperactivity disorder. And I hate the name.

I hate it so much. Just because I think it's too narrow. I don't think that for a lot of people who struggle with attention, it doesn't always look like attention deficit. It can be a hyper focus and people can have like difficulty pulling away from their focus. Hyperactivity, a lot of people don't recognize that in the classical sense. And even disorder to some degree, I know that for severity we need to have a clinical term like that right now, but overwhelmingly, like, a lot of people feel that this is a difference in

wiring. Yeah. But when you're looking at the name, it really hammers in the name and the criteria, really, really hammers on attention, attention, attention. And my argument is that it's so, ADHD is so much broader than just attention. Yes, there is dysregulation when it comes to attention, but also when it comes to energy, when it comes to motivation, when it comes to sleep, when it comes to emotions. So I think it's an underlying dysregulation.

And I think when people start to look at it more comprehensively, then you actually are able to get to the right diagnosis. You don't misdiagnose people with anxiety or misdiagnose people with depression or put them on medications that they don't have to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. What do you think is being regulated differently between the attention and the emotion,

those different things? It's more complex than just one simple thing. But a lot of it has to do with dopamine dysregulation. Okay. And so dopamine is that neurotransmitter that is vital in terms of attention and motivation and alertness and reward. So if you are having, you know, if you're looking at the brain or thinking about the brain conceptually and thinking about like, okay, if these are the areas of the brain that are being activated and these are the areas of the brain, dopamine should be present. And with ADHD, a lot of times it's not necessarily globally that you don't have enough dopamine. It's that it's not present at the right time, at the right place, in the right amount.

So it just, there is, you know, the way we view ADHD just because of this underlying dopamine dysregulation as only focus and attention is so incredibly narrow. Yeah. This dopamine affects so many other things. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they would ever change. Don't start.

I mean, I've barked up this tree. So here's my, because I just changed the PCOS. I know to PMOS, which is way more appropriate. So here's my sneaky agenda. My sneaky agenda is that the thing with psychiatry,

that's, that's frustrating. It's just that everything is so glacially paced. Like we just, everything is really slow to make changes. And everything is like, like, like being an, academic medicine. I'm not an academic medicine right now, but like the people who are making

decisions and things like that, it's so much circular thought and not actually resolving a lot of stuff. And so a lot of times when things change in the DSM, you know, where we put our diagnostic criteria. Yeah. It's quite literally because there was a public outcry for it. Yeah. The public was like, this is dumb, change it. Yeah. And so my hope is that with this book, it's so like, it, it, it, It shows people that here is, here's the evidence. Here's what the rest of the world is doing. Because in 2019, Europe changed its criteria to include emotional regulation into ADHD. Like, we're behind.

Let's do something. But I know that there needs to be noise and public interest in it before things change. Yeah. Yeah, that's so. Backwards. It's so interesting. Yeah. I was shocked when they changed the PCOS name because I was like, oh, yeah, that actually makes

complete sense. Way better sense. Because I have PCOS and I don't have any. Sis? Yep. No. Not at all. No C. There's no C in there.

Yeah. When it comes to ADHD, this is something that I always wonder. I know a lot of people wonder is how can someone be so hyper focused on like something interesting and be able to do it for like six hours at a time. Yes. But feel so like physically unable to do like the basic task of like taking the trash out. I mean, truly. I think that, again, it all stems back to this regulation thing.

Yeah. So I think that the way that I've explained to many people about ADHD is ADHD, you have an interest-based nervous system. So the way that your brain activates that dopamine and getting that chemical cascade to happen is if the task is interesting to you, if it's new, or if it's urgent. Yeah. And then your brain is like, all right, let's do this. But if it's like, this is going to be good for you, but, you know, you have to put in two years of

effort. It's down the line. It's far away. There's no real urgency. Do it at your own pace. You're like, no. No. Yeah. No, no. I know. You know when you walk into a small business and everything just feels right, the checkout is fast. The receipt comes to your phone before you even put your card away. And the whole thing feels polished and put together. I've had that experience so many times and then found out later, it was square running the whole thing behind the scenes. There's something about seeing a business operate that smoothly that makes you trust it immediately. They just keep adding tools that actually make a difference for the people running these businesses. The newest stuff is genuinely impressive.

Squares AI tools can now take all your business data and turn it into answers you can actually use, like what's selling, where you might be losing time or money without having to dig through a bunch of reports yourself. Square savings can automatically set aside a percentage of your sales for things like taxes or slower months so you're not caught off guard. And eligible square businesses can now show up AI-powered experiences like chat GPT and Claude, which means customers can actually discover your business, browse what you offer,

and in some cases place orders, all connecting back to your existing square system without you having to manage anything separate. And all of this lives inside the same system that already handles your payments, staff, payroll, scheduling, online, and in-person selling with synced inventory, and Square checking for instant access to your money. Square launched its most powerful tools yet,

designed to give local businesses a competitive edge without the complexity. If you're ready to sell smarter, run faster, and stress less, right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash squeeze. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash squeeze. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. October into November is one of those stretches where the calendar just stacks up so fast.

There's always something going on. Halloween, then Thanksgiving prep starts to creep in, then suddenly it's the holidays and you have no idea how you got there. And in the middle of all of that, cooking an actual dinner every night is usually the first thing that goes. I stop even thinking about it and I start defaulting to whatever is fastest, which is usually not great. That's where Tempo has become a game changer. Tempo delivers fresh chef-crafted dietitian-approved meals straight to your door. And they're ready in just two minutes. Not quick for a home-cooked meal, two minutes?

Actually, two minutes. Every week, there are over 20 recipes made with nutrient-wrench ingredients, so it never feels repetitive. They have options for however you want to eat. Protein-packed meals with over 30 grams of protein, fiber-rich options, calorie-conscious, gut support, and even GLP-1 smart meals, if that's relevant to your goals. It's genuinely flexible, and that is what makes it so easy to actually stick with. You're not locked into one thing, you just pick what works for you that week.

The thing I keep coming back to is that it does not feel like a compromise. You're not eating well despite being busy. You're eating well because Tempo makes it easy enough to actually do it. That distinction matters a lot when the rest of your day is already asking a lot of you. And for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com slash squeeze. That's tempomeals.com slash squeeze for 60% off your first box. Tempomiles.com slash squeeze.

Rules and restrictions may apply. At some point, I looked at my makeup collection and realized I had accumulated a ridiculous amount of stuff. Products I bought because they were supposed to do something specific, and most of them were just sitting there. And my actual routine, the things I reached for every single day, was maybe three or four of those things. Everything else was just noise.

And Jones Road Beauty is what made me realize I didn't need most of it. The Miracle Bomb is the one I can't stop talking about. It's a highlighter, bronzer, blush, and lip tint all in one product. And you just put it on with your fingers. It makes your skin look glowy and alive and like you're having a good skin day. Not like you're wearing a ton of makeup. It's replaced so many steps in my routine and I genuinely look forward to using it every morning because it's so fast and the result is so good.

It has definitely earned its permanent spot every day. What I love about Jones Road Beauty as a brand is that every formula is actually good for your skin. It's nourishing your skin while it's on, not clogging it or sitting heavy on top of it. It's clean beauty that actually performs. And they just launched a mascara, which I'm excited about because now I can do my entire face with products I genuinely trust from one brand. The five-minute face just got even easier. Modern day makeup that's clean, strategic. and multifunctional for effortless routines.

For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free full-sized mascara mascara on their first purchase when they use code squeeze at checkout. Just head to Jones Road Beauty.com and use code squeeze at checkout. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Okay, I want to get into some science parts of ADHD. Love. This prefrontal cortex coupling thing?

Yes. What exactly is that in layman's terms? Because I feel like I've been reading it. I feel like I also was seeing it before I was doing prep for your episode. I feel like I've been kind of seeing it on the internet. Yeah, I haven't known what it is. So basically when we're talking about emotional regulation, and this isn't even related to ADHD or anything, just like in general.

Yeah. There are two big areas of the brain. There's obviously a lot more, but two big areas that we talk about. The first one is the migdalene, which is that emotional threat detector in your brain. And so that is like the small almond shape structure in your brain. And that is hyper responsive. Then you have the prefrontal cortex directly under your forehead, smartest part of your brain in charge of judgment, decision making, processing. Like, that's where your brain kind of reality checks everything else. That is under responsive. And then to make situations worse, the

connection between the two is weak. So basically what it's saying is that for people that are highly emotionally sensitive, which is where I live. These people, they're wired where that emotional threat detector is on and ready at all times. And then that logical part of the brain that should be like, you're cool, things are fine, calm down. Where is that guy? So like maybe two hours go by and then the frontal lobe can kick back on.

They were like, that actually wasn't that big of a deal. Yeah. Move on. But it's like, okay, well, I've already sent like 10 very insane texts. Yeah. It's already happened. Okay. That's so interesting.

How, how, how, how does that work with arguments, criticism, embarrassment, and other, like, emotional changes? Triggers and things. Yeah. When you're looking at someone who has that kind of hyperactive emotional side and underactive logical side, timing becomes an issue. Yeah. So when you have some sort of emotional stimulation. coming in, then you're looking at the situation already. Your brain is like primed and ready.

We're ready for. And so it's ready to spring into action. So even if something is neutral. Yeah. Like someone is giving you, I say constructive criticism, but all criticism hurts my feelings. But like if they're saying something that should be constructive, my brain is already like, they hate me. They think I'm dumb.

This sucks. And then I'm, I've like run off with it. And then it takes me like a second to recalibrate. And for a long time, I didn't know that's what was happening. And the thing is, if you spend enough time spinning in that, that becomes your reality. Yeah. That's what you're doing. That's that.

So if you think it enough times, like, I'm stupid. I'm dumb. Then, I mean, that really propels that narrative that you're telling yourself. Yeah. Is the emotion itself bigger in ADHD or is it just the brain? How you process it? Yeah. I think I don't, I wouldn't even put this.

I think a lot of. of people with ADHD are highly emotionally sensitive, but not necessarily all of them. But for the people who are, I think for people that are wired to be highly emotionally sensitive, they feel things more quickly, more deeply, and for a longer time. So the motion might be like, you know, just a standard emotion, but the way you process it is very different. Yeah. I feel like that kind ties into the like rejection sensitivity of it all. What what exactly is that and how is it different from what people call rejection sensitive dysphoria? Well rejection sensitive dysphoria is a concept of this it's a neurological phenomenon that is this incredibly robust emotional

response sometimes physical but mostly emotional response to real or perceived rejection, criticism, disappointing someone else. It's like your whole nervous system is on fire and you're responding to this, even though the trigger may be completely out of proportion. Yeah. This is different from just like standard rejection because like nobody likes being rejected. That's not like a human thing that they're into. But they're not feeling it in a way that it's so amplified that it is like causing physical

pain, physical sensations, or it's getting to a point where it's limiting to their daily function. Like, well, because this happened, I literally am paralyzed. I can't think past this. I can't do this next opportunity. I can't proceed past this. Like, I feel like I'm, I'm on the brink of panic. Yeah. Like, that's a very different phenomenon than, oh, this sucks. It doesn't feel good. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, for sure. Emotional intensity and hormones. Yeah. Specifically during our lovely cycles, which I have not had in quite some time. Um, but. I'm not kind of freeing. What is it?

It's kind of freeing. Yeah. No, I do. I do like at the tampons in my bathroom and I'm like, one day. One day. I have realized though that I, like I used to think like, well, at least like I'm not going to have my period. I would, I would trade.

You're like, that's better. I would probably trade a couple of my pregnancy symptoms to like still have like have to have a period. That's you and you alone. Like, no. You're like, I'm okay. Awful. But no, I want to know why.

why ADHD symptoms can feel more intense during your menstrual cycle. Okay. So let's go backwards. So we talked a little bit about dopamine, being that like underlying regulator for all of this stuff. With your cycles, and this is at multiple points, not only just in a month, but at different points in your life. When your estrogen drops. So think about the week before your period. Yeah.

Think about right after you deliver. Think about perimenopause. All of these times in a low estrogen. state. When your estrogen drops, your dopamine drops because they travel together. And they, you know, the estrogen kind of impacts the dopamine breakdown. The dopamine, having high estrogen helps with dopamine synthesis. And so there's, there is when you get that drop, you get the drop in dopamine. And then it's harder for you to do things that require executive function. It's hard for you to plan. It's hard for you to organize. It's hard for you to

have cognitive clarity. So a lot of people complain a brain fog. Yeah. Um, motivation is impaired. Emotional regulation is so impaired. And so this is really important because a lot of times with people who have underlying ADHD, that premenstrual week comes and their dopamine drops, their focus is trash. Yeah. Um, they can't get anything done. They're, because emotional regulation is not part of the criteria, when they are having a really hard time and their mood gets impacted as well. Yeah. Sometimes then that's when people are like, you have anxiety, you have depression, and

you're really not just encapsulating or looking at the neurobiology of like, what is changing? What's changing? What is this related to? Yeah. And so they're being put on medications that, you know, might, may or may not help. That's so interesting. Yeah.

How do we like determine, how do we help determine, diagnose that? because I know like the average age for women getting diagnosed with ADHD's. 30s. Yeah. Yeah. I truly think that this problem will get better. Yeah. If emotional regulation is in the DSM.

Like if that's in there, like, then we will stop. Because right now, doctors are only, this is not a doctor problem. We're only as good as working with the tools we have. Yeah. Right? So like to expect everyone to have this comprehensive understanding. where it's not being taught regularly. It's not in the criteria.

It's in the criteria everywhere else. Like, it needs to be in the criteria. Gives us, like, this huge, huge hole and gap in diagnosis. Yeah. So, I mean, what we need to do is we just need to talk about it. And we need to be aware as women. And, you know, I think the emotional regulation encompasses way more, like, my son is super sensitive and I see it in him.

As humans, I think we just need to be able to look at the way we process emotions neurologically because then we can kind of figure out like if you do have ADHD and if you are processing them, you can figure out like, this is this kind of my baseline? Is this anxiety, depression? Like, what are we dealing with? Yeah. Yeah, that's so interesting. Now I'm like, what do we do?

How do we talk about it more? Because I know so you're doing it. Okay. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, you're doing it. I didn't think about that. But I feel like I know so many women in the fact that, you know, the fact, honestly, I'm really shocked the fact that PCOS got changed before this got changed.

Because PCOS is so, like, because I feel like we're so behind in women's health. Oh, my God. And everything. I'm shocked that this has a very much. And mental health were behind also. Yeah. And mental health for women were behind. because like I feel like we don't we don't talk about emotional regulation in men as we should

but we don't a lot of times when people are like I feel like my emotions are out of control it's women yeah you know yeah no it's so true because the men don't feel like they can men are like I'm not you did something to me my emotions aren't out of control yeah it's so true for a while I was actually pretty consistent about working out and I still wasn't really seeing the results I wanted, which is one of the more frustrating places to be because you're doing the thing, but the thing isn't working. And it took me a while to figure out that the issue wasn't the effort. It was that I was just repeating the same stuff over and over with no real progression behind it. You can be consistent and still be spinning your wheels if you don't have a real plan.

And that's what the latter app gives. And it genuinely changes the way you think about working out. The latter app is not a library of videos you scroll through and pick from. It's a real structured strength training plan built by certified coaches that gives you something new every week that builds on what you did the week before. It's progressive programming. The same thing you'd get from an actual personal trainer, except it's in your headphones guiding you through every set with cues, form reminders, and motivation while you work. What I love is that there's a plan for however you like to move or whatever equipment you have.

gym, home, dumbbells only, glute focus, hybrid, it's all there. Your weights and reps get tracked automatically so you can actually see yourself getting stronger over time. There's also a real community behind it where your coach answers questions and members motivate each other. Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking. Everything is planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit slash squeeze and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use my link and get a seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. There's something about a target run in the fall that just hits differently.

I don't know if it's the seasonal reset energy or what, but I always walk out with a bag that somehow perfectly captures where I am in that exact moment. What's in my bag right now? Honestly, the Wrangler and Target women's denim collection has been on my radar since the moment I heard about it. Wrangler's first ever women's collection and it's exclusive at Target, which is just such a target thing to pull off. You're walking in for paper towels and walking out in a denim moment, which we all know I am guilty of. The Western inspired pieces feel so fall without trying. And the fact that you can find them at Target and have them be genuinely cool, is exactly why I love shopping there. Then there's always something beauty in my bag, and of course something always dog.

I get so many of the girls' treats and toys from Target, and they definitely have their favorites. And then something from the wellness aisle I did not plan on. The half-day prebiotic iced tea has been a constant in my rotation. It's actually a good tasting iced tea that has prebiotics in it, which feels like the exact kind of thing Target just quite. I think slightly stalks on a shelf and you stumble across it and it becomes your new thing. You all know how much I love Target and how I could literally spend hours inside of one because it just really fills my cup. And there are so many options to choose from.

Whatever brings you joy, find that target. When someone perceives either like rejection, criticism, conflict as a social threat, what happens in the nervous system? So going back to that thought process about the amygdala and the frontal lobe. Amygdala lights up. Like we're under attack. This is dangerous. Something bad is happening. Literally is spinning around.

It's getting agitated. It's dumping alarm chemicals. Dumping stuff that's telling you like this is time where you need to be in fight or flight or freeze. You need to do something. And so as this is coming down the pipeline, your entire, it's not just a a mental thing. Your entire body is responding to this in real time.

And your frontal lobe, because of all of this neural chaos that's happening, isn't able to kind of like jump in and help in the scene. So after a while, after those alarm chemicals have cleared, then it starts becoming more active. And then you can kind of logically process your way through it. But a lot of times, if people don't know that, first of all, if they don't understand that this is a neurological phenomenon that's happening. Yeah.

If they don't understand that they're tools that you can use to kind of stop and bypass this process. And if they don't know that this is a pattern, how are they supposed to fix it? Yeah. That's so true. And I was going to ask, how can someone recognize, like, the difference between an actual threat and their nervous system? Just. You can't.

You can't. Because your brain literally does not understand. Like, there is this area of the brain called the interior. singular cortex where it assesses pain, whether that's social pain, whether that's physical pain. It's all kind of in that same area. And your brain truly does not know what is what. Am I being stabbed? Am I being taunted?

Am I being like, am I just being rejected? Like, who knows? Because it all feels the same in that brain. Yeah. Wow. The problem. It's a problem. I mean, hearing all of this, like, what are your most effective?

tools for like what what can people do to help if they are listening to this and they're like oh this sounds like me yeah so with the way that too sensitive was built or i mean is the way that i kind of understood it in my brain so i think the structure is important first part of the book exactly like the questions you were asking me is all about the neuroscience it explains what's happening in the brain because that like when i was in residency that's how like psychiatry's weird because you can't like look at it in a scan and you can't do like blood work. And it's, you have to really understand from a conceptual level.

Yeah. And so, you know, the way that my attendings would explain stuff to me was like, here's a part of the brain that's active. This is its function. This is what's happening. So that's what the first part of the book is. Then it goes into like, okay. So if we're dealing with thinking about emotional sensitivity on a spectrum, what is that spectrum? Like how do you know what's normal?

How do you know what's too much? How do you know what's too little? How do you know where you fall? And that took a lot of work in terms of figuring out, like, if you're thinking about the middle of that spectrum, as, you know, a situational trigger happens, you elevate appropriately, your mood drops appropriately, and you can handle it to some degree.

On one end of the spectrum, it's apathy, where it's like something emotional happened and you're like, I'm not going up or down either way. You're just kind of numb and blank. Yeah. On the other end of the spectrum is, where I think high emotional intensity and then, you know, rejection sensitive dysphoria live, where it's, you know, you feel things very robustly.

So something that could be seemingly small, your body makes it into this huge neural event because they're responding to it. So when you figure out where you fall on that spectrum, there's actually like a self-assessment you could take and then figure out where you fall on that. Once you figure that out, then you can start moving into, like here are the tools. Once you understand this is where I am, this is where I fall. Yeah. And the tools I pulled from neuroscience and psychology and psychiatry because I wanted to find,

they're all stuff you've heard about. Yeah. Every single one of those tools are things you have read about, heard about, probably been told. But I wanted things that work in the moment and work over time. And I wanted to find a way to teach people how and when to use them and how to practice them when you're not dysregulated. Because that's my problem. Yeah.

Right. My mom will say like, just take a deep breath. I'm like, get out of here with that. I like, no, first of all, offensive. Second of all, like, I can't even do that right now. Yeah. So once you kind of understand, like, hear the tools and to practice, you can start to understand what's happening in your body.

So like if you're in a situation where, and I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but like there's sometimes where I feel, especially with conflict, especially especially with conflict, I feel that. it's almost like a restless energy. Like I want to pace. I want to move around. I can't sit still. I'm checking my phone every five seconds.

Like I'm very overactive. Yeah. In those things, people will tell me, my husband will tell me, my mom will tell me, like, just take a deep breath, calm down. I'm like, I truly, I'm not capable of doing that. Yeah. So then the tool instead is like lean into it. If you are restless, let's use this energy.

Let's push that oxygenated glucose to the frontal lobe. Lean into movement. Yeah. Like start doing. movement, try to use that energy so you're not like as chaotic. Yeah. That's one thing. If you're on the other side where it's like, I got this bad news and now I'm like kind

of in like freeze mode and I'm like on the cusp of dissociating and I'm just like sitting still, what can I do? And then it's like, okay, can I just like gently think about kind of challenging that narrative reframe? Is there anything else they could have meant? Is there anything else? Like let me challenge these negative thoughts. Let me do this.

So working on that from that perspective where I don't feel like I'm on fire. Yeah. So it just, it kind of depends on how you present in the moment, but there are just 12 tools every single one. It's like accepting the present moment and challenging negative thoughts and moving your body. Delaying their reaction is a huge one. Yeah. I'm like an immediate tech. If there is a problem, I want to fix it immediately.

Yeah. I will never give it a second thought. I will fix it immediately. And so delaying the thought and response is so. huge and I don't know why I only discovered that now. I mean, those are, those are really helpful and it is interesting. Like, I don't know if I've ever heard like necessarily leaning into, leaning into how you react. Because I feel like normally it's like we want to suppress whatever that reaction is.

But I think that's really interesting because of how your brain is wired with ADHD. you can't just what you were saying earlier, how it views, you know, pain as all pain no matter what it is. Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah, I like that a lot. And I think also I like what you said about practicing when you're not in the heighten. Yeah. I feel like that goes back to even like how I talk about therapy and doing all of the, you know, self-care, breathing, all that stuff when you're not heightened.

Because when a trigger or something happens, it is easier for you to implement that because you've done it. I know. And I think that was my problem in that, like, even when I was talking to patients and stuff, I didn't have a good, you know, we look at these kind of things. Like, when you're feeling this way, try to breathe through it. And it's just like, there's no way they're going to remember that. Because, like, you should be, like, starting to work on that breathing technique and all those stuff. and in a way that feels very non-judgmental and safe first. And then you'll start to it.

It'll be in your brain. You will use it when you need it. Yeah, for sure. What? I'm curious about this because what do most people commonly misunderstand about how stimulant medication works on an ADHD brain? So there was a study that came out of wash you in like, it's like around Christmas, so December 2020.

And they actually did, they actually did research showing how stimulants work in the brain, which is like, that's incredible that we've gotten so far and didn't have definitive answers. But they said it works in basically two ways. The first way is pushing towards reward and motivation. Like this job, I have to get done because something good will happen to me. Let me push in that direction. Yeah. And the second is to work on a.

alertness. It quite literally fights off sleepiness cues. So the reason why this was important for psychiatrists and primary care doctors and anybody else who's prescribing is it really caused most of us to double back down and be like, we need to look at this differently. Instead of just looking at like what's going to give you more energy, more energy, like push up stimulation. Yeah. We need to be focused on how do we maximize your sleep, give you restful sleep so that you have a, so the stimulant can work. Yeah. And that was a huge shift in thinking.

How would one recommend to maximize sleep in order to like get the full? Well, it really depends. Because I know that there's so many people, myself included that I, first of all, I don't like sleep. I think it's boring. Like I don't, I don't want to go to sleep. I like at nighttime, that's like when I have this flurry of ideas in my head and I get, like, my husband says I have the zoomies. Like I just like I'm not in the mood.

to settle down. So I've never enjoyed shutting down for the rest of me. Plus, people with ADHD have delayed melatonin onset in their brains. So they, their natural sleep cycle, instead of being like, I feel sleepy at 10 and I wake up at 7,

really it's more like, I feel sleepy at 1 a.m. and I could very easily wake up at 10. If I could do that, be over for everybody. Yeah. I'd be amazing. But that's not how society works.

Yeah. That's so interesting. I love learning about that because just like the balance between like the medication and what like what it can onset offset versus what whatever is being offset needs to also be prioritized. Totally as well. How can someone tell the difference between the wrong medication, the wrong dose and untreated condition? What how can what would your advice be for someone that might be questioning that? So I tell, like, family members who are going to practitioners and I tell my own patients and I tell people on social media, your relationship with your doctor, whether that is a

primary care doctor or a pediatrician or a psychiatrist, should be one that has this mutual curiosity and it should be very collaborative. Because with psychiatry, when you are dealing, especially when you're dealing with medications that you're putting into your body to impact how your brain works, you want to be so sure. And I know, I know I'm a psychiatrist and my job is to prescribe medication. That's literally what, you know, you go to school for and you learn about. But I think on the, like, if you were looking at the scale of, like, psychiatrists, I'm probably one of the ones that's like the biggest weenie about medications because, like if I want to do something to help, like if we do need medication and they're life-saving for so many people.

Yeah. And so I'll never say anything bad about medication. But I also want to be very sure we're treating the right thing. I want to make sure that people are well educated ahead of time. Like this is what it is. This is what the side effects are. This is what it looks like to get off of. And I want to make sure that it's going to tick as many boxes and that we also have a plan to

behaviorally modify on top of that. So we can work at it from both angles and not just rely on medication to hopefully, you know, as we as we age, we become less neuroplastic, less capable of kind of doing those like immediate changes like we would as a kid. Yeah. So we have to work harder at making sure that we can both chemically and norally through behavioral changes make changes. Yeah. And so it's interesting. Yeah. I feel like I know so many people in here.

all the time that, you know, people are just expecting the medication to solve their problems and everything. But there is so many more steps that go into it, but also that specifically of just like making sure really that this is the proper, you know, medication, the dose, the time, that all of this. And asking questions. I tell people, like, I want you to leave the appointment and feel like you can teach other people about this medication. I want you to feel so well informed. I want you to have all your questions answered. And if you forgot something, you let me know later because I want you to have agency over your

body and your brain. I want you to know what you're putting in your body, what the intended effect is, how long it's going to take, what the side effects are. Like, people need to know. It's not like it's really confusing to me when I kind of feel like it's. it's a gatekeeping process. Or maybe it's not even like as malicious as that sounds. Yeah.

But like, you know, sometimes the way that modern medicine is, you're just, there's not enough doctors. Yeah. And so they're seeing huge volumes of patients and sometimes it's hard to be able to spend like as much time as you would need to get all of those things done. But it is vitally important. Yeah. And I feel like we want there's, we just like want things. So like, click and now. Click and now and easy.

For someone that feels like they may need to change their medication, isn't liking it, wants to better advocate for themselves to their doctor. What are some questions that would be helpful for them to ask? I think it honestly stems from what they're experiencing. Okay. Because if they are, I always tell people, like, as clinicians, we really thrive on data points. So if you're in a situation where you're like, I think this is not doing well for my sleep, but you have one night of data on that. And you're like, okay, well, you know, maybe that's because I took some other medication or like I or something weird happened or, you know, it could be another factor. If it is a repeated pattern, if you have data and you're tracking down like,

went to sleep at this time, woke up at this time, woke up at this time, woke up at this. Like, if we have data points, it's easier to take that information and start to figure out, is this a dosage change? Is this the wrong medication? Is this a medication interaction? Like, so we need data. So my best advice to people is if you have questions, concerns, things like that, you should always talk to your doctor. You should never feel like any hesitation because it's your health care. Like, that's, this is for you. The job of the physician is to help you. And so you should never feel bad about that.

But the best way you can help yourself is to provide them data. What is the biggest thing that you hope people take away from your book? I hope to if there is two. Okay. Thank you so much. My biggest thing is that the goal when you're dealing with emotions, I think the goal is not to like suppress or to be less sensitive, I think the goal is to be just more in control and be able to navigate them a little bit easier because I really think that emotional sensitivity is

wonderful. Like I love being emotionally sensitive. I think it makes me a good doctor. I think it makes me a better parent. I think it makes me an okay partner. But like I think that all of those things there is so much about being emotionally sensitive that in terms of like the empathy and the way that I think differently and the way that I approach problems and the way that, you know, I see so much of how I am and how I'm wired in what I saw my dad doing. And to me, that was like my gold standard. So I saw it in him. I see it in myself. I would never trade that. So I just don't want to drown in it. Yeah. I just want to navigate it a little better. Yeah. That's great. I love that. I'm really excited for this book. I feel like a lot of people are going to be like feel

seen with it because it is something that isn't talked about, but a lot of people do struggle with and aren't even aware that it's even going on inside of them. I know. I know. I love it. Yay. Well, thanks for coming and chatting. Always. I love having you back. Always. Can't we love being here. I can have you back again. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're like, please don't even think about that. I can't even think about that. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements. for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.