The Squeeze - Emily Miller: Surviving an Ectopic Pregnancy

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

TW: Ectopic pregnancy, ~24:05 – 36:50 — programmatic ads may affect the exact timestamp for each listener  One half of Too Hot to Handle’s favorite power couple, Emily Miller (still with boyfriend Cam Holmes!), joins your hosts to discuss her time on the dating show, her relationship with Cam, and, for the first time ever, her pregnancy loss. Emily shares what it’s been like dating in the public eye, which has surprisingly never been a negative experience for her, and dives deep into her love-at-first-sight meeting with Cam. Over their 2.5 years together, she and Cam have experienced ups and downs as all couples do, but most notably, Emily’s ectopic pregnancy, during which she was mere days away from death. Emily explains how she and Cam both dealt with the loss and offers advice for others suffering through the same nightmare. Despite the tragedy discussed in today’s episode, Emily’s incredible personality lit up the conversation, and your hosts applaud her contagious positivity and outlook on life.  Resources: Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/  Pregnancy After Loss Support: https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/  The Ellie’s Gift Project: https://www.relaxwithlucy.co.uk/elliesgift  The Worst Girl Gang Ever: https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/  Dad Still Standing: Baby Loss Support for Fathers: https://www.dadstillstanding.com/  Tommy’s Baby Loss Support Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Tommysblsupport/    You can follow Emily on TikTok and Instagram @emilyfayemiller and Snapchat @emilyyyymiller and follow Cam @camholmess  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail]. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You do with them? Over here at the Squeeze We talk about it. Hello, everyone. Happy Wednesday. Welcome to another episode of The Squeeze. The Squeeze.

The squeeze. You're right. Happy Wednesday. Happy hump day. I hope your week has been... Okay. Let's keep it BG, okay? Mental Health.

Hope your week has been good so far. I hope that this episode can spark some joy in your life. I mean, yeah. We'll definitely. spark some joy because Emily is delightful. Yes, on this episode, we have Miss Emily Miller on from the infamous Too Hot to Handle. Oh my gosh. Netflix series. That bite me my favorite reality show. We are suckers for Too Hot to Handle. Yeah, we truly are. So I was very excited to have Emily on. Cam was supposed to come, but he had to head back home because I live in London.

Which is incredible. I just have to say this, that one, if you even find somebody from a show like that, a reality dating show, that you leave with, it's like, wow, that's great, incredible. Then three months after the show, if you're still going, it's like, holy crap, you're like one of the rare ones. Yeah. Let's go to a year after the show, it's unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, you're just shattering records. They are over two years, two and a half years into their relationship since filming the show.

Yeah. Which is just insane. I don't believe in the best way possible. I don't believe anybody else from Too Hot to Handle is still together. No, I think that's all I want. I believe they are. I think Kayla and Seb maybe are still together. Okay.

I'm not sure. It's been like last of a year. Okay. So I am very excited about this episode because it is not what you think it's going to be about. You know, it's not just some reality TV start coming on here, sharing whatever the heck about their reality TV experience. It's actually a lot more personal and there's a lot of depth to this episode, which is really awesome. Yeah. We were super honored because we got a call from Emily's team saying that she would love to come on the show. She watches the show. She's a fan of it. And she wants to discuss something that she hasn't publicly before. She's posted about it on Instagram. But that is all. She has never talked about it. And for whatever reason, she felt comfortable. And

to come on the squeeze and discuss it with us for the first time. And it just, it was, it was a tough conversation. It was, I cried. Yeah. It got, it got very emotional and I, I didn't like seeing her like that, but I'm glad that she is talking about it. And she's, she's doing great. But the first time you ever out loud, you know, speak about something that traumatic. It's going to be emotional and it was, but we were so thankful to have her on and talk about that. So I look forward to each and every one of you hearing Emily talk about it. We do have a trigger warning of pregnancy loss for this episode. So if you're out of place in life where this episode is not for you, you're not ready for it. Just go ahead and pass along, join us next Wednesday.

But those of you that are ready to listen to it, I think it is going to be a very good episode. I have chills right now thinking about it. Because with everything Emily has gone through, she is such a light and she is so just positive. and so just like encouraging, like that she can have that kind of attitude and have almost even lost her own life, you know? So. Yeah. I truly want Emily's outlook on life. I strive to look at everything the way that she does in the positive spin that she puts on absolutely everything.

Yeah. Finding the positive in the worst of times. Yeah. And I really want to incorporate more of that into my life. And I learned a lot from her. So, yeah, I mean, me, myself, and I, just very, very thankful for our time with her. Yeah. We love Emily.

And I think after this episode, if you guys don't know her yet, you will love her as well. So let's get to it. All right. Let's dive in. Emily, thank you for being with us. We're very excited to have you. We are both huge fans of the show and fans of yourself and Cam. So, yeah, I'm giddy right now, to be honest.

Payton's meet, show, trust. Oh, my gosh. I love it. So we start each episode off with this little jar, a little thing called Citrus got real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there, I'd be honored. I didn't delve very deep, but I feel like Yolo. Let's see. Hello.

What's the strangest thing in your refrigerator? Oh. Hmm. That's a good question. See, that's a tough one because I haven't been home for a couple weeks. Yeah. We've been living out of a hotel. We don't have a fridge, do we?

We do? Is it the leftover Chinese? Yeah. There we go. It's about three-day-old Chinese. sit in the fridge right now. Great. I feel that.

Yeah. That sounds so good. Yeah. That does sound good. And I have no shame. That's great. Yeah. The amount of time that we keep leftovers in the fridge, we know we're not even

going to eat it and we just put in the fridge. We're like, we'll eat it later and a week goes by and we're like, it's just still sitting in there. I can't not, but it never gets eaten. I know. The intention's there, but they actually is like, it's the thought that counts. Exactly. Yeah.

Honestly, it just adds more dishes. Yeah. Well, you don't do those. So it's okay. Okay. You know, I do my own things, and you're right, the actual dish. Okay. No, if we're going to go there. Oh, it's her choice. She doesn't want to use a dishwasher. That would make life a whole lot simpler. Wait, do you have the dishwasher? Yeah. We've got two. And she doesn't want to use any because she needs to hand wash every single thing. I grew up without a dishwasher

And so my mom always handwashed everything So I mean I didn't have a dishwasher Until junior high high school when we moved So and my mom still doesn't use it So like I've never used it So it's just like that's so crazy to me I mean don't give me grief I don't feel bad for you

Do you just feel like it's not clean If it goes through dishwasher Yeah or if I put it in the dishwasher Then I trust it but I'm basically washing it You wash it first And then yeah I mean I'm a big pre-bring I love to pre-w rinse things, but then put it in a dishwasher and let that do the hard work.

I don't like making more work for myself. Yeah. Yeah, I need to let that one go. And she'll let it, like, build up. She doesn't do, like, little bits here and that. Sometimes, but you do like to let it build up where there's, like, a sink full. And then she'll just go into, like, her mode and put on her, like, yeah, and lit up at the gloves. Some rock music.

And for an hour, just go ham on the dishes. Yeah. Anyways. Back to our point. What's in our fridge? Oh. What? I know it's in our freezer. That's weird. What? We have like four whole chickens. Oh, I thought you're going to say like dead rats or something. Definitely not that. But like four frozen whole chickens that probably need to be thrown away. Is it for you or the dogs? That's a good question. We bought like. You would think the dogs. We've had it way too long. It's not good anymore. It's got we chopped it. We did? Yeah. Okay. Wait, does fries and chicken go off? Well, you see, we got it like in 2020.

It's been in the freezer since then. Yeah. We got like a huge shit. Are you like a hoarder? That is Taylor. But no, we got like this big shipment of meat during COVID because I don't know. Our friend was. We didn't buy the whole chickens just to be clear.

Our friend has a restaurant and they have like, you know, all this amazing stuff. like, can I send you some, you know, treats? And I was like, sure. And I open it up and it's just whole chicken. Is it seasoned? No. It's just like a, what is it called? Like air suction, air sealed.

Oh, vacuum packs. Uh-huh. But like a whole chicken. And it was too much of the chicken. We don't need to get into this. No, and I'm a vegetarian. This isn't great. Yeah.

Anyways. So olives. I always need to have green olives. Oh, what are they called? The nice. Nissela, Nichella. Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Mine are, see, I also can't pronounce it. It's like Kastron, Kass, C-A-T-S-R-E, something. But I need to try your all, little. Yeah, I'm going to try yours. Okay. Oh my gosh.

Anyways. Oh, and pickles. Oh, we call them Girkens. Gerkens. Yeah. Gerkens. Oh, my gosh. That was my favorite thing while we were over there was hearing.

what, like, the differences of things, or even just like the accent difference. There's that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like bacon. And then, like, filet.

Like the nuts? Yeah. Pecan nuts. Yeah. Wow. And then filet. Fillet. Oh.

Well, well. So some people say filet? Like if it's like a McDonald's fillet or fish, then yeah. Okay. Oh. Okay. That's good enough. Or like a filet mignon, you know?

Oh, you would say that. Yeah. Every place we went to, I was like, I'll take the filet, the filet, the filet manion. And they'd be like, oh, you want the fillet? I'm like, I almost just started saying fillet because everyone said it. And I was like, is this disrespectful for me to be saying it? Yeah, I thought they were going to kick us out of the restaurant. I don't know.

Well, we was in Starbucks yesterday. And I went, oh, can I have a sashay of honey? Of honey. Sashay of honey. And he was like, you are? And I was like, a sashay of honey. And he didn't understand. what I was trying to say. He thought I was referring to like a gay term, like whether he sashay away.

And I was like, no, no, no, he'd like a packet of honey. And he was like, oh, a packet, yeah. I like that. Yeah, sashet. That sounds better than packet. Yeah. Yeah, right. I'm going to start using that one. See, us Brits are fancy. Yeah. You are with your high teas and. Starbucks may just not be the right place for a, I think Starbucks has packets, like some local, you know, Like a mom-taw shop. Yeah, may have sachets. Yeah, yeah.

Sash away. You have to start saying that. Oh, my gosh. So something, as you guys know, that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals. And as a couple, has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys,

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No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work. And it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah. And it'll just keep you accountable too. So we highly, highly encourage that you guys check out cerebral because therapy is just

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offer is only valid on monthly plans. Other exclusions may apply. See site for details. Get going on that therapy. Okay. Let's dive in and go back to the show since you know I'm such a big fan. I know you modeled before going on the show and had a little bit of a following. But how was your experience going on the show and then coming off of it and all of a sudden? and, you know, being overloaded with millions of followers. And how does that affect your life? So it's funny to say I had a little bit of following, but I honestly had about 4,000, 5,000 followers when on the show. So me going on the show, it was literally just for fun. Like, it was at the peak of COVID,

so there was nothing going on at home. And so when they came to me and asked me to apply, I was like, well, why wouldn't I? Yeah. Then when I kept getting through different sort of, interviews and things like that and when like shit started getting real i was like what about you going on so yeah going on it really didn't seem real to me until we so what did we do we had to um isolate in we had to isolate for two weeks before going into the actual villa because of COVID

right so even in that two week period it was just me and my chaperone and I was just like laying out and the sun all day every day like living the dream like I didn't have my phone it did take your phone off you um but even at that point I was like even if I just go home now I'd still love it yeah so Yeah, going into actual villa was just, yeah, like I say, a bit of fun. And you're told at that point you're going on what show? A show called, oh, parties in paradise. That's what we were told, we were going on. Because there was already a season or talked to handle.

They didn't want to, like, give it away. I always wonder that because, like, I feel like as the seasons keep going, it's going to be really hard. Like, did people recently know? Well, everyone I speak to on the new seasons, they do say, like, yeah, we know. Because I feel like it is so hard to cover that out now. Yeah, at this point. So I don't know how they keep released in all new seasons. I know they filmed like season five, six and seven already.

Wow. Oh, you'd be glad to know. Okay, that is really good now. And you does release dates. Yeah, I guess your season was probably like the last where it probably came as a complete shock to you all. And it really was. So we had a fake host for the first few days.

You know, we were allowed to hook up with whoever we wanted, do whatever we wanted. Yeah. So we genuinely just thought. oh this is a brand new show. Yeah, until, you know, the night me and cam we're going to seal the deal. That's when Lana pops up and ruins it all. So, but yeah, I just took every day as it came. Like, it really just was an experience for me.

And I don't sound cliche, but you really do forget the cameras are on you. Like, because there's so many like CCTV cameras in the house. And that's all it really is until, you know, you get like a big camera on you. And that's when, you know, you know, you're being filmed. But normal day to day, you just go about your day and like, yeah. So there's not, you know, men with huge steady cams in front of your face the whole time. Not the whole time, no, no, no, yeah. No, that's really only a small part of it, which is the bits they show mainly.

Because like you say, there's like 24 hours in a day, and the whole thing was 10 hours when it came out on Netflix. So you think, like, they couldn't have filmed everything. Yeah. So, yeah. It was just, it was a good time. Oh, my gosh. How long ago was that now? That was December 2020, 21, 21, 20.

20 going into 21. I think so. God, I can't remember. Yeah. Yeah, but I think with Cam two and a half years now. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, I guess that goes into our next question is,

I was going to ask how long you guys have been together. But compared to previous relationships, what has this adjustment been like dating someone now in the public eye both of you being very public figures now. Yeah, I mean, it was crazy. It's never been negative. Let me start there. It's never been negative.

It's just, I actually feel quite lucky to have gone through it with him. Yeah. Because I feel like, I don't know, I just can't imagine doing this without him. And, you know, we both sort of came from small towns and no one really knew us. So to come off a show like that, it's just, yeah, it was crazy. like the reception we got. Like even now, people like go crazy

when they see us together. Yeah. So it's really, really sweet. But the funny period was when the show had been filmed, it was like a six-month gap to when it got released.

And Netflix had told us we weren't allowed to be seen with each other. Oh. So that was fun sneaking around for those six months. I must admit. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Do they like help you sneak around? Because I know like, I know like the bachelor. We have friends that have been on The Bachelor and they like, what do they call them? They have like the getaway.

Happy couple trips weekends where they'll fly them to like New Mexico like rent a house Oh my god I mean I don't know You've got a lot of followers

Beren't how the show's going right now But I know that they'll do that That does seem helpful Yeah no we didn't have that at all So you just had to sneak around Well he's from Wales So he moved to my mom's house at me And yeah we were just living our little lives

at my mom's house. It was great. It was actually really, really nice. I'd actually miss those times. Yeah. Like going to what, you don't know what waitrose is. Do you know waitrose? Oh. No. Like a supermarket. Yeah. Yeah. So we'd like have like wait a show to waitrose do like normal things for anyone knowing. I could just go looking like a homeless person. It was great. But you know how we do that anymore. Oh my gosh. I do. I've just like accepted it. That it's just part of your way out. Yeah. I'm I'm in comfort. I'm rarely like in jeans. And you're married now. I'm basically married. Like it's fine. Yeah. Is that like in the cards? Well, I mean, I don't know, because he's younger than me. He's

not in a rush. Yeah, I'm a cougar. How old is he? He's 26. Holy crap. And I've just turned 29. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So I do want to, like, really soon, but he's just not interested right now. Oh, I didn't realize he was that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that's how you were, even though you're five years older than me. Yeah. Like, I was more like, okay. Yeah, let's go. We've been together a bit.

I know. But, I mean, it took, it's probably like. Yeah, I proposed after four years. And was that off your own back or like, were you really, like, sort of pressuring? I had, like, pressured a little prior. I just knew advice that. Yeah. I was like, not pressuring.

I was just like, hey, like, maybe we should look at raining. Yeah. Yeah. I've never looked. It was gentle pressure. Gentle. But it wasn't like an ultimatum kind of thing. No.

Because I've had a friend that's done that. Yeah. Yeah. No. I've also like in my previous relationships, I've, I mean, my entire life, I've always just, like, wanted to be, like, a wife and a mom. I'm an only child. And that's just, like, how I've always wanted to be a mom and have a family. And it's funny because when Taylor and I started dating, I was like, oh, like, I can wait to be married and then I ended up being, we ended up dating for so much longer than I ever, like, thought I would.

but I didn't like obviously I wanted it but you know I was like I'm really like happy so it's just like very content yeah and now that's how I feel like having kids I'm like I can wait which I literally was like I want seven of them now I don't well you already have two so yeah that's what I tell everyone they're like so kids I'm like we have two and the puppy is honestly a child she she yeah she requires a lot requires a lot of attention but I feel like you and Cam's ability to stay together throughout all this because like there's not that many people that stay together like after these shows. So I feel like that is such a huge testament to you guys as individuals, but also just like as a couple. I think that's just like so cool. Yeah, I agree actually. Like I've not really ever been a relationship kind of girl my whole life. But in that villa, as soon as I saw him, I was like, wow. And he thought the same. So it was literally, I don't sound so cringe, but it was love at first sight. That's awesome.

I was talking to a friend like probably yesterday about having you on. And we were just talking about that like the fact that you guys are still together from that show, you know, two and a half years out is just like unbelievable. And I'm literally

just repeating exactly what you said right now. Well, no, it was the conversation we had. I'm not hearing it. It's fine. I think we had talked about it, or maybe it was a while ago, when I was like, hey, babe, I want to have Emily on. And I was like, she's still with Cam. And he was like, what? They're still together. I was like, yeah.

People are she so shocked. They maybe people that just don't follow us. But yeah, I still get comments regularly. Like, oh my God, you two are still together. Yeah. I think it's just like how uncommon it is for people that. Because, I mean. It's hard enough.

Who, has anyone else? Like, I mean, Kayla and Sep are still. Yeah. I mean, I don't know their full story, but I'm pretty sure they weren't together for a long period of time after the show came out, but they have recently just, yeah, sort of rekindled. Is there anyone from the show that's still together? No. No. Yeah.

Just us. Oh, my gosh. You guys should host the show. Wow. Wow. I mean, maybe TBC. Yeah. They're literally.

Yeah. Yeah. They're literally like the Tristan. The clip. They're literally like the Trista and Ryan. Yeah. Who's that? Yeah. Trista was the first Bachelorette.

Oh, okay. And they're still together. And it's been like six, 17 years. Okay, so we've got competition. Yeah, they've been together for a while, but they're like, you know, the Bachelor royalty. I think you guys are. Yeah, I think they have a full, it's been like 17 years. This is, when I said you, loves reality.

TV. This is what I'm talking about. He's literally watched the bed. I don't know. He's a diehard. Yeah. I have a problem. I love that for you. Thank you. He loves. He loves love. It's time consuming. It's a full-time job. Oh my gosh. Cam.

Toxic dickon. Let's go. It's actually so funny. So everything we post will it be Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the comments are just flooded with. Right, Cam, when are you going to propose, when you're going to propose. It actually annoys Cam to the, but I think it's quite amusing. I'm here for it.

I'm like there liking all the comments. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Has there been something that you could maybe point out that's been like maybe the biggest struggle with having a relationship, like public like it is? There was, I don't know, there was one point in our relationship about last year. There was a lot of speculation around our relationship in the media and in the press.

So that was probably the hardest time. But we did have a little bit of time apart. That was literally like a month. Yeah. So that was probably the hardest time. But, you know, we worked through it. And we actually came back stronger than ever. That's great.

But yeah, that's probably the only thing. But other than that, like I said, everyone's so supportive of us. Even at that time, all our fans were just like, no, like, you guys have got to figure it out. Like, if there's no cameron. People call us Camelie. There's no Camelie. I don't believe in love, like, all this. Aw.

That's awesome. Yeah. Everyone's always been like, as I think you guys say, shipping us. Shipping us. I don't say it. I'm not that trendy. But I do ship you guys, just to be clear. Yeah, we do ship.

Big shipper over here. Big shipper. So I want to bring up something that happened in your life that you have recently shared something that you went through that was very personal and haven't spoken about yet. we obviously have talked about it. If you wouldn't mind sharing your experience and kind of what the past few months have been for you.

Yeah, of course, as you rightly said, it's like the first time I've ever spoken about it, so it's really weird for me. But yeah, last year, I got pregnant and I found out when I was about like six weeks. Obviously, as soon as I found out, I told Cam shortly after both of the group, read and I hadn't even told my mum at this point.

I kind of read something somewhere where you should wait for like 12 weeks until you should say something. So it's about nine weeks at this point. Everything was going fine. Well, I thought it was going fine. And I started getting like pains in my stomach. Like not so bad. I just would like pop a load of pain killers every day for like a few days.

And it got to the point where I was like, this can't be right. But I'm one of these people where I just like rushing under the carpet. I'm like, I'm fine. I'm fine and fine, like, especially like my job. I always tell people I'm fine. That's her too. Yeah. And then it got to one day where I actually called my manager and we actually know, sorry, just before that, we went to the shops just to pick up some groceries.

And I collapsed in the shop, like literally to the ground. And we was with my friend at the time, me and Cam was my friend at the time and he had no idea. I was pregnant. So when he was like, what the hell's going on? Are you okay? Oh, wow. I was like, no, I don't really. I was like, I'm pregnant.

And he thought I was joking. And I don't even count at this point, didn't realize the seriousness of it. I mean, I definitely didn't know how it was serious. I just thought it was just, you know, a freak accident. Yeah. like right away. And I was like, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. And so eventually I did, I called the ambulance. And right away, they came and picked me up. They said I was having something called an acrobic pregnancy. And I had no idea. I've never even heard that.

No idea what it was. In hospital, it took about, I don't know if you ever seen a show called 24 hours and 80. Have you ever seen a show? It's literally 24 hours and 80. Like, it was so busy. I wasn't getting seen. The pains were like, you know, you know, still progressively getting worse. And I think it was like two and a half days later, maybe in the A&E, someone finally saw me. Two and a half days? Yeah.

Yeah, me and Cam both slept at the hospital. We got given like a little chair to share, like sleep on this chair. Oh my gosh. Welcome to the NHS. And then Hannah came to see me as well. So yeah, it was quite a tough time. And I kept saying like, hello, like I need someone take me seriously. Like this is really bad.

Anyway, finally got my scan. And as soon as the scan results came through, that's when people were like, shit. They were like, we need to get you operated on now. I was like, what do you mean? Like, what's happening? And they said, yeah, you've got ectober pregnancy. And basically the baby was growing in my fallopian tube. And they were like, if we leave this any longer, you are going to die.

Yeah. I was like, what? And that's when I started like, really hit me. and so yeah within six hours I was being rushed into surgery it was so traumatic

I could actually get a bit emotional daughter yeah you can take all the time you need yeah yeah she's one of the things just never think

what happened to and it was still at this point I hadn't even told my mum because it was just all happening so fast and then so you're just to rewere before waiting to surgery I was like

oh my God I need to call my mum so I called her she was like freaking out which made me freak out I've got Cam who's freaking out and it was just like oh my god but anyway yeah I just remember I being pushed away from Cam

Cam was crying I was out of here I'm gonna be right here waiting for you he asked me all my favourite things he wanted to have waiting for me when I got back and I gave my whole list of things I wanted and yeah the next thing you know I've woken up and as soon as I woke up I had a massive panic attack

because I was now still in like the operating theatre kind of bit, like the whole operation had been done, but I was still, I don't know if it's like a, it's like a holding area kind of thing. Yeah. And I just had a massive panic attacks, then doctors had to come over and like give me morphine after more, like kept having given me it because the pain was just so bad. So I think I was down there for about another hour, and I just kept to him, the doctors are really, I didn't see Cam, like to really, really want to go see Cam. So they finally took me back upstairs, and then, yeah, Cam was waiting for me. And it kind of just It kind of felt like I think it was getting okay as soon as I saw him.

But yeah, I kind of got discharged so soon after that. Like, I'm talking about six hours after. I had a little rest and they had discharged me. And they didn't give me any aftercare, nothing. I was like, this is crazy. But I got home and me being me, I wanted to look at my stitches. One of them was like completely open. I could see my inside.

And I was like, brilliant. So the very, so I called them back and I was like, my stitches are open, blah, blah, blah. Shocker, had to wait but another 12 hours to be seen for them to stitch me back up. So I was like, just get me out of this place. I want it to be done with now. Yeah, that was the experience. Oh, my goodness. I mean, I don't even, I mean, first of all, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that.

I think what you said is so true is you just never think that that's going to happen to you. We recently have two friends that both miscarried and you just don't think it's going to happen. It's nothing you prepare for. And there's no way to prepare for it. Exactly. And then afterwards, there's no handbook on how to go about life and, you know. Exactly. And so they told me I can still.

get pregnant, but I obviously only have one for Lopian tube now. And they actually told me after surgery they were this close to having to move my ovary as well. And thank God they didn't. Wow. So yeah, I just have to, I still can get pregnant. It's just I'm very at high risk. And I just have to go for early pregnancy scans, like quite frequently. But yeah, extant pregnancy is such a crazy thing. It only affects one in a hundred people. Okay. Which, I mean, I am glad about. But yeah, yeah, it's just such a crazy experience. You hadn't gotten to the doctor at all prior to that?

No. No. Okay. I don't even know when the first time you're supposed to go. And I neither. Like you said, Taylor, nobody gives you a habit. Like, you just don't know. Yeah.

I started researching about it after I found out we were going to be talking to. And the biggest thing that I read about it is the danger that it can cause the mother. Like, that's, I'm so glad that, you. you got in there, you know, early enough and they were able to... Exactly. And that's the most scary thing. Like, I was days away from dying. That was that was their words. Like, it's crazy. Yeah. So I can't imagine, like, having to process, like, losing, you know, your baby, but then, too, like, almost, like, you. Yeah, I know. You know, just like... But then it goes back to it's like, oh, what did I do to deserve this, you know? like it starts playing like mentally on you but it's just one of those freak things I think

you know it's nothing I could have done yeah how has this time since like how were the first few like days weeks for you kind of after that and like processing you know yeah um well suppose you say that I'm not very good at processing I'm very much just try and forget about it yeah um I think it's just the way I've been like the way I've grown up like it's my family That's kind of what I've been taught. So it's not often. I've sat down and actually really like deep to it, which is why I think I got emotional

because I haven't really spoken about it. Obviously, Cam was there with me, so that's fine. But other than that, yeah, I don't really speak about it. So, yeah, I'm not very good at processing things. I don't like talking about myself or feelings too much. Like, it's kind of like an scary thing for me. Yeah. Is Cam more talkative?

Oh, yeah. So Cam, actually. he suffers of mental health. Being with him has been such an eye-opener. Like, I didn't even, I didn't really know anything about depression. I knew it was a thing, but I just didn't know,

know about it. So for him, it actually really affected him. I think sometimes more than it affected me because he's so in touch with his emotions. He, like, wants to talk about things all the time, whereas I'm the complete opposite. So, but yeah, it really did affect him as well.

Yeah. I was actually going to ask about that because I can't imagine, you know, how I would feel going through that. If, you know, Tate was going through that, I would be an absolute disaster mess. Yeah. So I'm sure that was also a traumatic experience for him. I wanted to know if you had any advice for somebody that knows him. anyone that is going through something like this. Or even people that, you know, we have our friends that have had miscarriages, you know,

have lost a baby. Yeah. Was there anything that he did for you or just, you know, your lovely friends that you have? Like, what advice would you have to somebody? I mean, it's difficult question to answer because everyone's different. But, I mean, I guess patience is probably the best thing. Cam's so patient with me. Just, you know, if I needed to be alone or, you know, if I was needy and needed him to be with me all the time or, you know, he was just there for me.

So I think just being there for that someone is very important. And, yeah, just being able to listen as well. Like, because some days I'd be angry. Some days I'd be sad. Some days I'd be fine. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess just patience is the main one. That makes sense.

Yeah. Well, I'm going through something. just knowing that she's there. Yeah, whether I'm angry, like, devastated, just whatever mood I'm currently going through, just knowing that somebody that I care about is there to listen. Exactly. That's all you sometimes need is just someone to listen,

like not necessarily even save them back. Yeah. Just nice to have someone to listen. For sure. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. Thanks for listening. Of course, of course.

Oh, my gosh. to anyone that is listening that, you know, has had a similar situation, know that we love you. And it's definitely hard, like, what you said. Like, why do these things happen, you know? And something that I've been told a lot through my life that I feel like has gotten me and just has kind of pushed me through things is like, God only gives us what we can handle. And I can never imagine going through that. but like the strength that I see and you sitting here is just like astonishing and the people that you are going to touch from sharing your experience, your advice, the type of mom you're going to be one day, you know, like I think that that has, well, that got me emotional as I was speaking.

I think that, you know, there's there's always a reason why things happen. I don't think there's coincidence. I think, you know, that happened for. I think, you know, that happened for. reason and I think you and Cam as individuals and as a couple are going to come out so much stronger from it. Thank you so much. That's really sweet. That's true. Okay. Lighter, lighter subject to wrap this thing up. Yes. If you're still listening, it gets lighter. We have our little lemon 11 segment that we like to close our episodes with. Just fun. 11 questions that we love and we'd love to know about you. Okay. You want to start us off?

I'm excited. Okay. All right. Number one. What movie or song title best describes your mental health today? Do you know what? I would say, cool, a bit egotistical, but I would say pretty women. Let's go.

Do you know what? Just because since it's being in L.A., every single day, people have come. come up to us three to tell us how pretty we are. Wow. Haven't they? Yeah. And I think it's really lovely because back home you don't get that. That's good to hear.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. It makes you feel good. I mean, look at you guys. You guys are all, I opened the door and I was like, oh, wow. Oh, right? I should have had the song playing when you guys came in. I think that means that you need to come and visit more.

Yeah. Absolutely. No, definitely. Sealed the deal. Number two, how open are you with people? in your life when struggling. I'm not very good at that. I was going to go.

Yeah, not very good at all. I am just, as soon as someone asks me how I am, like, yeah, I'm fine, how are you? Yeah. Deflect. Yeah, exactly. I'm a good deflector. I just like to deal with things internally.

I just don't like, I feel like I'm boring people when I offload. I'm not an offloader. Like, I just don't do it. It's just not in my nature. Yeah. Yeah. So are you a good listener then? Yeah, I'm a very good listener.

And I'm one of those people I always would wish I listen to my own advice. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. I feel that. I feel that. I feel that's a bit of my style too.

Yeah. All right. Number three, what is your favorite part of your morning or night routine? So morning routine is definitely cuddling my dog for a whole hour in bed before I get up and do anything. Oh my gosh. And my nighttime routine, well, my bathroom looks like, well, you guys call it CVS, don't you? My bathroom looks like CVS. Okay.

Oh, my gosh. So my favorite to talk. part time of that is, yeah, doing my face and skincare and all my LED lights and and lotions and potions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can bond over that.

Oh, what are your LED lights? Wow. Well, I have a whole mask, which covers the entire face, which is either lay there, or I've just bought a new one where it's like a wand. Uh-huh. And it like shocks your face all over. Oh, it's the, um, what is it called? A microcurrent?

No. Yes. Yeah, it's like, it's electric current. Yeah. Those are great. I need to find mine. I don't know if it's good for you, but I do it anyway. I think it's fine, probably.

I don't turn the bolt stopped too high. Yeah. No, I'm a wimp with it. I'll, like, put, like, a piece of, like, cotton. Oh, yeah, you separate it. I'll, like, put something down, like, over my skin to protect it because, like. Our facialist does that, too. She uses it on us, and she puts, like, a tissue or something on our face and then zaps it through the tissue.

Maybe I should start doing that. You get facials? Oh, yes. I really love a facial. I can tell. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

It's great. Yeah, I do. It's kind of a newer thing. Like, I haven't, I started getting facials, I'd say, a few years ago. It's working wonders for you. Thank you. I appreciate that. There's not a single, like, line or anything.

People ask me if he gets Botox. And I'm like, no, he just has a creaseless forehead that literally, like, looks like a baby's butt. It's not fair. It's all that reality TV. Yeah, that's what does it. Keep you young. I know. I'm like, yeah, I'll take it.

Okay, number four, how has your career impacted your well-being? Honestly, like, for the better. Like, most definitely. I wasn't really into the whole working thing before this. Like, I could never really hold down a job for more than, I'd say, two months. So this was really a blessing for me. I love that. Yeah. What's the worst job you ever had? Worst job? I was working for this real, as you guys say, douchebag. What do you say? Whanker? He owns a little like MOT garage. And I obviously lied on my CV to get this job.

But I just to be like an office manager, because I just thought, I was a little company. It would be a walk in the park. It would be fine. And so I just do like my general daily online shopping. And little did I know, he was, had a camera behind me the whole time. I was watching what I was doing. Stop. I know.

I'm about invasion of privacy. Oh, my. So. Just watching you, like, scroll, revolve or whatever. And then he'd obviously play it back because he'd come down the stairs. Obviously, I'd click off. And he'd just watch it back to me, like clicking off everything. What a creep.

Thank you. Yes. Oh my gosh. He played it for you? No, no, no. He didn't ever show me, but he eventually told me. He literally sat me down. He was like, and he, what he did?

He printed it off all my, like, history. He printed it? He printed it and laid it in front of me. Oh, I know. He is a wanker. Thank you. I'm a stalker. Oh, my.

Yeah. I need to meet this guy. You don't want it. Well, I'm glad that you got out of that. Thank you. And you are crushing it. without the wanker. Yeah, exactly.

It's such a hard R, right? It sounds so much better when she says it. It's almost pretty when you say it. It's like wanker. I'm like, wanker. It's disgusting. Oh, Lord of us. We'll leave that to you.

Whose turn is it? Is it? Okay. All right, moving on. Number five, what would you say is the most misunderstood thing about you? Well, I don't know if it's really misunderstood, but no one knows I'm half Indian. Okay. Everyone just thinks I'm British.

Do you think I'm British? People just, well, people just either assume I'm British or just assume that I have something in me. But no one actually knows I'm half Indian. Actually, when I first came off the show, I was accused of blackfish in. Oh, wow. Yeah. Because people, like I said, assuming that I was white. And when I was...

You were really tan. So, because I was in the Caribbean. for six weeks. And because the Indian at me, that's what happens. I literally just have to look at the sun and I'm, panned. Yeah. See how people were just like, because I'd get up a picture of me when I'm like, pasty in the winter and they put it next to me

coming off the show. And I like, this girl's black fishing. And then I literally like, actually I'm just half Indian. Yeah. Yeah. What's your houseage? I need to do a freaking 23 in me because I have been told that I'm French, Dutch,

and German. Which maybe it's all true, but I just don't know. I can go in the sun for five minutes and get a tan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I really have a range of color. Yeah. So, yeah, I feel that. Yeah, you definitely do a day test. There's got to be. There's something in there that I'm not aware of. You look like Hawaiian. Okay. Yeah. I've gotten Hawaiian before. Yeah. I look you've gotten everything. Yeah. People ask me all the time and I say it and they're like, that's it. I can see you like in a hula skirt. Really? Yeah. Okay. With your coconuts. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Like coconuts. I wouldn't be mad about it. Bring on the coconuts. Number six. What is the greatest advice you have ever received? The greatest advice. This actually came from a guy I used to date.

I'm not sure if he was like talking about us or just in life. He said, um, What if it could be better than you ever could imagine? Hmm. And it really stuck with me. He probably was talking about me and him, but I just didn't listen to that. I just applied it to my everyday life. Yeah.

I thought it had to hit deep. Wow. Yeah. I love that you got that out of that relationship. Yeah. That was one thing I got, right? Yeah. There was one positive.

I like that. If I said anything to you that deep? Because that's really good. I'm sure. Okay. Not off the top of my head. All right. Number seven, moving on.

What does wellness mean to you? I just recently started CrossFit. Oh. Which I don't do fitness. Okay. And especially, well, I wasn't to yoga, but then after the whole pregnancy thing, I kind of just really was just like, just fell out, fell out of it as like, don't care or anything. But I recently just started getting CrossFit, and I really am enjoying it.

And it's the one thing I look forward to it, not just the one thing, but it makes me get up in the morning now. Yeah. Whereas before I would just lay in bed of my dog. Right. But now that I really am passionate about. Nice. And I feel like, I mean, you may not be able to tell, but I feel fitter. Yeah.

So that's been a really big change for me because I'm quite lazy. So, yeah, that's been a real positive change recently. What do you think you like about it? I've never done like a proper crossfit class. Right. Maybe you should try because it's hard to explain. but I feel like it's because someone's shouting at me and telling me what to do. Okay.

I kind of like that. Yeah. Because otherwise, when I've ever gone into a gym, I, if I'm left my own device, like, it does not go well. Like, I will literally just be on my phone, like, and then see you. But then it's also the fact how you're with so many people, and you don't want to let them down because you do things in team. Okay.

It's like a good team exercise. And, you know, they're all cheering you on, like, come on me. And I'm just like, fuck, say, okay. So it's a kick up the ass I needed. Yeah. Yeah. I do need a bit of that because I'm the same way. We, I mean, yeah, we have like a gym at the house, but it's when it's just sitting there and I'm just going to go into it alone and there's no like extra motivation.

I'm just like, ugh. Yeah, I could be sitting and watch and talk to handle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You feel me. Number eight. What is your relationship with social media and do you think it affects your well-being? Personally, and this may be controversial, but I love social media.

There we go. I do. I don't have many hobbies, but social media is definitely one of them. It's true. Like, I could spend hours happily just scrolling on TikTok. And it makes me feel good. My whole feed is just full of animals and dogs and what's not to love. That's great.

Yeah, that's something we talk about a lot is, you know, making sure there's stuff on your feed that, you know, it's good. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Positive stuff. Yeah, exactly. And that's all my feet is. So, yeah, I'm having a great time, really. I love it. That's awesome.

Okay, number nine, what is your favorite form of self-care? And it can be something that you've already said if that applies. No, I wouldn't say CrossFit. That's not my favorite. LED face masks. Yeah, that is pretty up there. Can I say my dog? Yes.

I believe that's what I said. Yeah. Like, honestly, he is the one thing in this whole world that just makes me feel like everything's okay. Yeah. Being in L.A. and not being with him is literally killed my soul. He is just, yeah, the one thing that makes me happy. I just have to look at him and just everything's going to be okay. I've had a really shitty day.

Just give him a big squeeze. Even if he doesn't want the cuddle, I don't care. He's getting a cuddle. He's getting it. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that is. Taylor. Yeah.

Just with both of our dogs snuggling them all day. That's it. Forced them to. Yeah. And the smelly breath in my face, I don't care. Give it to me.

What is his name? Twix. Twix. I didn't call him that. He was already called that from the rescue center. Okay. I was going to rename him to Dyson

because he literally eats everything like a Hoover. But then, yeah, that's actually my mom's idea. That's a good one. Yeah. That's so funny.

But he wasn't really responding to Dyson. Okay. Twix. We just kept his twiddle. But now he's deaf, so it doesn't matter what I call him. Okay, got it. I was going to say you could just, you know, at he's 17.

Yeah. At 17, you could give him a middle name and he'd be Twix Dyson. But that's actually a big idea. Well, actually, I tell you what, just because I'm on the subject and you brought it up. Cam has officially changed his name to Tony. So that's his name now. Because he's an old man. He feels like it suits him more.

He's his name Tony. Do you both call him Tony now? We both called him Tony. You went from calling him Twix to now you call him. call him Tony. Yeah. I know. I know it's great. And he really can't even hear it. Yeah, he doesn't know the difference.

Really random. It's the whole name's now Tony Snow. Okay. Tony Snow. Like John Snow, but Tony Snow. Yeah, because we love Game of Thrones. So it's Tony Snow. Oh my gosh. We have our puppy. Her middle name is Virginia. So her full name is Remington, Virginia. So when she's in trouble, we literally call her Virginia and she knows that that's also her name. So she'll like, when she's in trouble, we say Virginia and she listens.

If she's not listening to Remi or REM, I bust out the Virginia and she's like, what? Oh. Yeah, that's good. That makes her listen. Yeah, it's good. Okay. Number 10, who has had the most positive impact on your mental health? I would, you know, honestly, I would probably say my manager, Hannah.

Wow. Yeah. Honestly, she, when I first signed with her, I didn't really think too much. with myself, I just thought, you know, whatever. She really, like, saw the potential with me. And she's kind of just listened to all my goals and ambitions, and she's been there for me through everything. If I ever need advice, she's the first person I go to.

If I had a really shitty day, she always knows the right thing to say. So, yeah. Yeah. I mean... Don't get emotional. To be honest, I'm not surprised you said that because... in that moment, that difficult day that you had, other than, you know, Cam already knowing you've said she was the person that you called. Yeah, she's literally like my best marriage. She's not just my manager. She's my best friend.

Yeah, no, I can feel that. That's so special. Yeah. I love that. All right. Last but not least, number 11. If you could go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself? See, that's really difficult because I haven't had like kids or marriage. or anything like, it's not happening to me. It's really difficult to think about. I mean, I guess it would be, you know, lying on that surgery bed,

just telling myself that everything will be okay. Because at that moment's time I didn't, we thought like it wasn't going to be okay. And I think that's what was getting me so like worked off and the whole panic attack kind of thing. Yeah. So just to like go back to that and, you know,

just to be able to tell myself that everything will be okay and you will be okay. And you will get pregnant again. And you will have that baby. Yes. Yes, you will. Oh, my gosh.

That's amazing. It's so true. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for squeezing in with us. I thank you for being so open and honest and sharing your story. I know, you know, that was really eye-opening and just great for us to hear. And I think it's really going to impact a lot of people listening. So thank you for sharing that.

Thank you. And I would also like to say, just quickly, before we wrap up. Something that I really love about you is your outlook on life. Just in this short conversation, you find a way to put a positive spin on everything, and that's the type of people that I want to be around, that we want to be around.

Your outlook just on everything is so positive and so pure. It's really cool to just listen to. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's special. It's talking emotional again. Thank you. No, you guys have been great. You're so down to life and lovely.

I've really, really enjoyed this. Appreciate it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. That was such a good episode. Emily is just a doll. We love her. We love her team.

We just had truly the best time with her. Yeah. Everything under the sun. I don't think I've ever on an episode gone from like belly. laughing to crying as much as this one. It was a super fun conversation and obviously a very powerful one. Very powerful and I think it's definitely going to help a lot of people. So be sure to subscribe to The Squeeze. You guys watching on YouTube, we have our full episodes there. Of course you can follow us on Instagram at The Squeeze throughout the rest of this week. The Lemons

by Tay account is going to be posting. some resources, some tips. If you yourself have gone through pregnancy loss, you know someone that has and you're trying to figure out how to work through it with them. So go ahead and head to Lemons by Take as we're going to kind of like walk through, you know, different resources and things like that as well as on the squeezes Instagram. But in the caption of our video, of our audio, you can go ahead and check out some resources down there as well.

Let us know how you guys like this episode. Yeah. And our comments on YouTube, I think it's, I think it's a powerful one, and I'm so honored that, you know, Emily came. Yeah, we love you, Emily, and we love anybody going through that difficult situation. It happens too often. We have so many friends that have gone through that recently. And I don't know if there's a positive way to spin it. It's a horrible situation. and I don't want to see anybody I love go through that. Thank you guys for listening. We will see you next Wednesday for another episode that, shockingly, I am very excited about. What was that?

I'm just excited about every episode, but I'm very excited about next week's episode because we have a guest, but we also have some special guest that join us during our interview. What? Taylor's like, what did we film? What?

Anyways, see you guys next week. A clue. Thanks for listening. What is this? They had their own headphones, remember? Oh, okay. I got you. See you guys next week. All right, tutels. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.