The Squeeze - Harry Hudson: Find Your Music

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

The man, the myth, the ledge — singer-songwriter and all around incredible human Harry Hudson joins the Lautners today to discuss his cancer journey, the importance of music in his life, an...d his charity, Hey, I'm Here For You. Harry was diagnosed with cancer the same week he turned 20, and he discusses the existential brain shifts that occurred as he processed his reality and embraced death. He attributes music to saving his life and talks about the intersection of music and mental health when used as a healing tool. He speaks to the psychological toll of being released from the hospital free of cancer and being unsure how to process what you’ve just been through, as well as feeling like he wasn’t allowed to be sad. Harry also lost his father at 23, and shares how, while he embraced death for himself, he wasn’t prepared for it to happen to someone else. Lastly, he talks about the inspiration and mission for his charity, Hey, I’m Here For You, which helps enhance the lives of teens and young adults undergoing cancer treatment.  Thanks to our amazing sponsors for supporting this episode:  Quince — Go to Quince.com/thesqueeze for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns  Osea — For a limited time, you can get 10% off with our code LEMONDROPS at https://rb.gy/uhjdx  Beam — If you want to try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder, get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com/THESQUEEZE and use code THESQUEEZE at checkout To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to lautner.thesqueezepodcast@gmail.com. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner + on TikTok @thesqueezepodcast  To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You be cancer. No, go live life. And you're like, I'm so happy. And like, that's just the character I have to play. Yeah. I throw a mask on when I don't even knowing I'm throwing a mask on. I'm just like, well, I'm the happy cancer survivor. Yeah. Like, I love life. Yeah. Which I do. But then it's like that I felt like I couldn't even be sad or like, I feel like I'm like, especially with social media, my presence was like smiling all the time and being happy. And I'm like, it's not real. No, it's not real life. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze. We talk about it.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze. You have one. Taylor Lautner here and a Lily. But don't worry. Taylor is in our episode today. He's just not here filming the intro, and Lily is subbing in for Taylor.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Right? You subbing in for Dato? Yeah. Perfect. Okay, well, today's episode I'm very excited about because it is a dear friend of ours, Harry Hudson, joined us. If you guys don't know who he is,
Starting point is 00:01:09 He is a singer-songwriter. He is so talented. But Harry was diagnosed with stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma at age 20, which is kind of crazy. And we just kind of talked through, you know, his story about, you know, going through cancer and what that was like for him and the process of after and just kind of all the details about that. But also all the amazing stuff that he is doing, he has a foundation and they are doing amazing stuff. for teen cancer patients. And this episode is just really inspiring. Harry's such a joy of a human. And his outlook on life shouldn't be as positive as it is because of, you know, everything that he's gone through.
Starting point is 00:01:57 And he's definitely faced a lot of loss and a lot of challenges in his life. And he should not be as happy as he is. And he is just a joy and just has such an inspiring. Outlook on Life, and Taylor and I are so excited for you guys to listen to this episode. So without further to do, let's get this episode rolling. The Man, The Myth, The Ledge, Harry Hudson. Wow. Thank you so much for being here with us. I'm so excited to be here.
Starting point is 00:02:37 We're honored to have you. With my favorite tailors I've ever met. I mean, I hope so. It is somewhat of a popular name, but I don't think I know any other Taylor's, though. Wow. Okay. So it's like there's only one people say Taylor. I'm like both of them in my head. My head is both of you.
Starting point is 00:02:50 So it really wasn't that much of a compliment is what you were saying. No, it's the biggest compliment. Guys, this is so good. Now I'm just embarrassed. You're like, you're just the only tailors I know. Yeah. So that's why you're the coolest. I know.
Starting point is 00:03:03 It's like, when is that a backhanded compliment? Well, sure. You're definitely the best Harry, I know. Wow. Or sure. That was a nice thing But you're also the only Harry I know Fuck
Starting point is 00:03:18 What about Harrison? I don't know Nope, no Harrisons Well that's my real name It's Harrison Yeah Okay No you're the only Harrison or Harry I know
Starting point is 00:03:30 Is your full name Remington Stop That's our dog's full name Remington and Harrison That's so good That's about What are your middle names? We're like brokers
Starting point is 00:03:40 Like Remington and Harrison stock exchange or like it. You drive past what's it called? What is the old ring place where they would Everybody had all the commercials about get your wedding ring here. Fuck. Like a pawn shop.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Oh, I know what you're saying. You don't talk about Lee's or not it was like. Yeah. What is it? The old jewelry famous like stuff. They would sing a song and like, get your wedding band here. It's like it would be on like corners of the street. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:08 No, I know what you're saying. And then right next to it's like an H&R block or something. And right next side would be like the Remington and Harrison. Remington. Harrison. Like a law firm or something. Law group. We fight for you.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Yeah, we fucked up. Our parents were like, damn it, we made me for the hat. We fight for you. It's so funny. We can make a graphic for that. Should we start the episode now? Yes. Anyways, Harrison, we are very honored to have you because your story is truly remarkable.
Starting point is 00:04:38 And I just want to say as a friend, like I am so honored to know you and just so proud of the human you are. You were not, you know, dealt the easiest deck of cards by any means, but you have just turned it into just a beautiful person that gives back and helps so many people and shares your talent with the world. And I can just keep going on and on. But you're just, your story is amazing. And we're just so lucky to have you. Thank you. I love you. Wow. Love you, man um yeah you know life life has been a definitely wild of my guy i was just talking to you earlier but like i just turned 30 yeah and i'm like looking back i'm like what are my what was my 20s like and i was like fuck yeah you know and you hear the stories of like when you're 20 like in your 20s
Starting point is 00:05:30 just like mess around and have fun and figure out who you are yeah right like try things if you don't know what you love and those kind of things and i had a unique way of experiencing my 20s because I get diagnosed with cancer the same week I turn 20. Yeah. You know, so it's like it was jumped in like, I'm 20 now. Like I'm about being an adult. Like I just like felt that and then it was like, no, you're going to be a patient and live in a hospital.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Different plans. Totally. Yeah. And from there it was kind of like, okay, well, if I don't make it right, because now I'm 20 and I was thinking, I was making music. I'm about to get a record deal. I'm about to get money and maybe be famous. I'm just like thinking all these heads as a young kid or a young adult at that point.
Starting point is 00:06:14 And then you get diagnosed and they're like, well, we don't know if you're even going to make it. We just have to see, right? Yeah. And then your mind like shifts. Your whole brain shifts. And you're like, who am I even? I'm doing all this stuff. But like, is it even?
Starting point is 00:06:30 I'm making music. And then I'm listening to it. I'm like, it's not even me. I'm just saying what I think people want to hear. Yeah. And you step back and you're like, well, if I don't make it, what are these next? couple months going to be. Who am I going to be? No, it's like thinking. I'm like, I haven't really been my authentic self. Yeah. Right growing up. And I think that's that from zero to 20, you're
Starting point is 00:06:52 trying to figure out. So you're joining friend groups and you're meeting people that you're in class with that are like kind of like your forced friends. Yeah. You know, and you're like, I think I like, I like, I think. And I'm like, wait, but that I'm totally different. And then you go to a different friend group. It's like you're figuring it all out. Yeah. And then I kind of lost myself in the sense of that high school and the competitiveness and the trying to keep up with your neighbor or whatever. Yeah. And then you get, then I got sick. And I was like, fuck, like I don't even know who I am.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Yeah. Well, maybe I should, if I do die, maybe it's like the gods, you know, I believe in like the butterfly effect. And I think maybe God has a plan for everything and everybody. So I like embraced the, the death side, which is like my biggest fear. Yeah. And after I embraced it, I was like, you know, if whatever happens, it's meant to be. and you have to talk to my brother, my parents, and be like, it's okay if something does happen to me because it's like, that's just a part of the plan. And I had to figure out how to love myself in the process of that.
Starting point is 00:07:53 And you're like, well, if I do beat this, then like I have a chance to be my full authentic self and have the chance to, you know, I believe there's 8 billion people and God hand created you. It's like the odds of being born is like $1 and $400 trillion. Yeah. Isn't that great? I was like, I thought a billion or something. It was like 400 trillion. Yeah. And I'm like, and we're all like trying to compete and compare and try to be somebody that's not us.
Starting point is 00:08:18 And I'm like, imagine just like fully diving into who you are as a person and figuring out who that is. And so I think the cancer journey was the best way to figure that out. It's like dramatic as it was. Yeah. Everyone's like how it was. And I was like it's the biggest blessing I could have asked for. You know, it's like, so it's for me. I'm always like preaching and like telling my story because it's like you don't.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I mean, there's so many people who get diagnosed and there are so many people going through treatment and have cancer. But for those who don't, it's like learn through me to figure out, you know, you don't have to be on your deathbed to be like, I understand who I am. Yeah. You know, because I feel like that's a lot of people, but it's usually when they're like actually on their deathbed and it's like, I regret life or I should have done something differently, right?
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah. And I think I learned a lot about that through chemo because I was 20. So I'm considered an adult in health care. Yeah. Zero to 19 is pediatric. The 20 is adult. So I'm doing, I'm in a, you know, the white room for the rest in bright lights. And it's like this.
Starting point is 00:09:13 And we're all in a circle. And it's me with like 60, 70, 80 year olds, 90 year olds. And so everyone's like, you're like, my grandchild. You should not be here right now. You know, and then you're like, but I'm here. And there's giving me all their life advice and what they regret it and what they wish they could have done different. And there's, you know, a billionaire here who's like, I chased all this money and it's not saving my life. know, and there's a person over here who's like, I'm an art teacher and I never drew anything
Starting point is 00:09:39 until I got sick. And I started traveling and drawing all the places I've always wanted to draw. Oh, wow. You know, I didn't have the courage to, like, raise money and go after my dream. It's like, and that's most people in the world. And for me, I'm like, okay, so I got this unique opportunity to figure out who I am and what do I want in life. Right? Yeah. And it's like, for me, I knew I loved music. And music is like the saved my life in a way of like this woman who was, who was the art teacher, I was just talking about.
Starting point is 00:10:08 She sat next to me and she was like, what do you love to do? This is my first chemo. I'm freaking out. And I'm like, this orange liquid is about to get pushed into me for nine hours. Oh gosh. And like, this is like the move. Like your worst nightmare is just like, I'm right here now and you're beep, beep. And I'm like, what the fuck is that?
Starting point is 00:10:25 This woman grabs my hand. And she's like, well, what do you love to do? And I was like, well, what? Like, what are you talking about? And she's like, what do you love to do? And she's like, trying to be funny and be sweet. And I was like, I love to make music. And she's like, wow, I love music.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And she's like, would you, would you die for music? What? Hmm. Hmm. But I'm so confused. I was like, huh? Like, but I die for music. And she's like, yeah, like, you know, if that was the last thing you're going to do and this is your last, like, a couple weeks or your last like life right now, it's like, would you.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Would you die for it? So I started understanding and I'm like, looking back why I even create music and looking how it was a beautiful escape, right? And we'll get into it, but I'm like mental health and music, I feel like coincide a lot where it's like music is a healing tool, right? And I'm like, growing up, music was my biggest healing tool. I escaped every reality of my childhood that was like dark and like traumatizing with a walkman or throwing on headphones or doing something to escape.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah. Right? And that was like the best thing was like, oh, now I'm in school. And like I don't work well in a big classroom. I'm like a very one-on-one. Yeah. But you know, we couldn't afford that and we're out of school. And so teachers teaching the 40 kids or 60 kids and I'm just like writing like raps or like
Starting point is 00:11:42 journaling or poems in my notebook all the time. I look back and I'm like, oh, music like saved me. Yeah. And so then I'm like, yes, I would die for music. And she's like no matter how sick you are, no matter how tired or how nauseous or anxious or, you know, how long your session is. like always put music before the cancer. Whether you're listening to it, whether you're in the studio for two minutes, whether you're with a friend who's singing, whether you're with a friend who's writing a song
Starting point is 00:12:08 and you're just happening to be listening to a song. Yeah. Always make music a part of your day and always make it the most important part of your day. Wow. Right? And even it doesn't have to be long. And that's what she said. And she was like, and then like after that, I'm like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:12:24 And then she's like, yeah, you have to die for music. Right. And so I'm like, okay. like that was my go-to because I'm like and my doctor overheard it and my doctor's like well if you do beat this like you make music and you can help a lot of people and like you can share your story and all this stuff and so I was like amped I was like I have to beat this like I have to like I have to like then after that like I was the first day of chemo and then like I just was so locked in and she's like show up to chemo like at school you know like it's a nine to five yeah show up and that's it right you know but like focus on your mental health of like doing things that make you happy yeah
Starting point is 00:12:57 So something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals. And as a couple has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support 100% online. you'll experience the all new cerebral way, an innovative approach to mental wellness designed around you. You'll get a personalized treatment plan from a therapist, prescriber, or both in a safe and judgment-free space. I love that cerebral is 100% online because that means you have no excuse.
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Starting point is 00:14:50 C-S-C-Sight for details. Get going on that therapy. And I think that perspective changed shaped my 20s, right? Because now it's like, oh, this is me, right? And then everyone meets me. And they're like, oh, you're strange and weird and, like, very, like, approachable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Right. And, like, I have, like, my unique traits because I'm like, I understand what it's, what it feels like to be hurt inside or, like, in pain or not feel seen or not feel welcome. And so, like, I always try to make that a thing through my energy. Yeah. Because, like, I am very thankful for life and so appreciative of it. Not like I'm perfect in any fucking sense. But like, you know, I think that's shaped the 20s. And I'm like, obviously life's this rollercoaster.
Starting point is 00:15:34 You need to figure it out. And I think it's like figuring out the tools that you need to be happy and be content. And so like after chemo and cancer, that journey, I'm like, again, then it comes back. Like, who am I? Yeah. Because your daughter, you think it's kind of like, it's like, well, if I do die, like I'm so happy. And like I started social media and I started doing all this stuff when I was sick. When I was done, the doctor's like, so get out of it.
Starting point is 00:15:58 here. What? You know, you're going to a doctor every day. Yeah. Getting checked, like a baby. Yeah. I have a cold and like, they give you something. I have my finger hurts.
Starting point is 00:16:07 You know, it's like you just being a baby and you're letting all these people take care of you. Yeah. And then it's like, all right. Like, get out of here. Like, what do you want to do with your life? Mm-hmm. What do you mean? I want to?
Starting point is 00:16:15 Yeah, you want to make the music. Like, go after it. I'm like, wait, that's difficult. Like, that's a lot of work. You know, it sounds like not really, when you're doing it two minutes a day. You're like, come on. Right. And then, like, that's when, like, and a lot of cancer, like, survivors, like, say it, like, after beating cancer is when, like, a huge depression comes in.
Starting point is 00:16:35 It's, like, a big thing. They do, like, camps and, like, now, like, they have, like, places and facilities you can go to after. Because you're just so traumatized by the experience. And then you're, like, afraid of everything or you don't want to get it again. Yeah. So, like, that was a depression. You look at yourself and you're like, I'm 50 pounds lighter and I have no hair. and you still kind of look like the patient, but you're not.
Starting point is 00:16:58 And you're like trying to be like, how do I get healthy again? Yeah. Thrown back into life. Yeah. It's like, where do I pick up? Yeah. Yeah. That's so true.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah, I was going to say it's like, I mean, obviously very different. But when people like come out of jail and they're like, okay, what is life now? Like very similarly, not that you were in jail, but it's just a completely different. It's like a prison in your mind pretty much. Yeah. It's something that you have to do. It's just a complete life. shift because nothing about going through chemo is normal.
Starting point is 00:17:27 There's nothing like normal about like integrating that into your life, you know, like you have a whole new life experience on that you don't need to go be at the hospital all the time. Correct. You're like, okay, well, what do I do now? That's so, I didn't even like think about that. And then you walk outside and you have this appreciation for life. And you're like, whew!
Starting point is 00:17:43 And so I was like, get the fuck out of the road. Like, you know, you're like, whoa. Like, you're not like, what is happening? I'm like, don't you see the sky and they're like, what? It moved. Don't you see the sunset. the cat in my way. You know, and like, then that's depressing too because you're trying to talk to people
Starting point is 00:18:01 and then people are like, like, what? And you're like, okay, well, am I the only one who's this like appreciative of everything? Yeah. And then everyone's like, Harry's so happy all the time or Harry's so. And it's like, that's not the case. I'm just like when I leave the house, I try to like just be myself. Yeah. And that's like, you know, I was, I try to be happy every day because I'm like, I'm
Starting point is 00:18:22 fucking so thankful to wake up. Right? And so I'm like, how do I become my best self? And that's the everyday process of like trying. Yeah. It's an amazing outlook. How did you, I don't know if, I mean, maybe you know this. Obviously, like, we know you. So we know your story. But I feel like there's like details of it that I don't necessarily know that you may know. But how did you like find out that you were sick? Like what was that? So wild. I had like an asthma attack in my sleep. Okay. And it happened to be like my mom's my mom like woke me. up and she was like yo you got to we have to go to the ER pretty much they're like what and she's like you're choking in your sleep like I guess like I was just choking and I don't remember it yeah had you done that before no gosh and so we go to the hospital it's like the ER in van eyes and we get in the person's like oh it seems like you have asthma we just put you on like a pump or
Starting point is 00:19:18 whatever the inhalers and like a treatment and like we'll get you out of here it's about like 2 a m at this point yeah and like you've run to run it's like you've run to I'm talking about God. I'm going to talk about it. So the head doctor of the hospital left his laptop and, like, his keys. And you had to go through the ER to get back into his office. And so he's walking through and he sees me. He's not in doctor clothes.
Starting point is 00:19:39 He's just kind of like chilling. Yeah. He sees me and he's like, what are you doing? I'm the only person there at this time. And he's like, oh, what's up? And I was like, I have asthma attack. And he's like, cough for me. Cool.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Can you do this? And yeah. He's like, come with me. So I'm okay. And we go and we go into the like MRI. We go do like CT scan. We do like a pet scan. All this.
Starting point is 00:20:01 He just turns all the machines on and like puts me through all of them. Right. And then I'm like, this is weird. And so I started getting weird feelings already. Yeah. Because I'm like, ah, this is not normal. I'm very in tune with like myself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:12 And as crazy as it is, like I had weird dreams like growing up that I was going to get cancer. Great. Like visions. Like dreams. Like a lot of them. Wow. And I was like, um. I remember like, he's like, okay, we do our scans and we're waiting for like 30 minutes to me and my mom.
Starting point is 00:20:28 And he's walking down the hall and I just knew it. This is like the whole thing where I knew. I was like something's fucked. And I was like, oh, this is like. Oh my gosh. He walks down the hall with like the scans, like all like the x-rays or whatever. And he like gets on his knee and he's like this is the worst part about my job. And I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:20:43 And he puts the like the pictures up and it's just tumors like all through my body like a lot. And he's like you're like you have tumors everywhere pretty much. And my mom's like, did we catch it early? He's like, you, he has to do that chemo today. So where did they catch it? Like, at what stage? Like, early stage four, like stage three. Like, like, the beginning of stage four.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Definitely not early. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. So my mom's like, now my mom's hysterically crying. And for me, I'm like, my mom's like my fucking person. So I'm like, and I'm the funny guy. Like, I always, I've had a lot of trauma as a kid.
Starting point is 00:21:17 And so, like, I'm the funny guy. It's easy to, like, make it a joke. Yeah. Instead of, like, making it my reality. Yeah. Yeah. So it's always funny. And so I'm like, mom, like, how do I make this funny?
Starting point is 00:21:27 I'm like, mom, it's all good. Like, whatever. Like, you know, it's like, and I was freaking the fuck out. I was like, what just happened? Right. And then they're like, well, we have to get you into treatment. Like now. And my mom's like, well, we're not going to treat me in van eyes right now.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Like, we don't even know. Like, we have to figure this stuff out. So the next day, like, my grandpa was on board at like a cancer at like City of Hope hospital and like something. We're like, we got a doctor the next day. And like, it was in the hospital. I had severe pneumonia. and like we have to get rid of the it was a whole thing and now I dropped like 30 pounds in two weeks
Starting point is 00:21:58 or 40 pounds like something even crazier and then because you can't do a surgery when you're have pneumonia when you have an infection you can't you can't be put down and they had to do a biopsy they had to do like a spinal tap they had to do something else like I did like five surgeries in like two weeks wow and so like my body's just like what the fuck is happening to the point where like graphic but like I'm pissing myself and like you know it's like I can't even go to the bathroom by myself I have to get picked up and like I'm like what? I was just like a normal.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I was normal as fuck a couple weeks ago. And now it's like I don't have the strength to do anything. Yeah. Wow. And then I start chemo. Right. And then it was like you had to get rid of the pneumonia. We had to like do all these like treatments and weird things that they were trying to figure out what's happening.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And those like weeks were like the scariest moment of my life because like they were thinking it was leukemia. So if that was the case, it would be like three more weeks after that and it would have been like gone. Really. And so like those like weeks of figure out what it was was. like the worst. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:56 And so I had lymphoma, which is another type of blood cancer, but more curable and more like treatable. So it's like, when it's like curable, but it's like treatable for sure. And yeah. And then like so we just like started it was like none of it was from that day of like you have it to like blacked out for like a year and a half, two years almost like going through the whole. Is that how long the journey was like in total?
Starting point is 00:23:18 Yeah. Yeah. To like get better and like fully be like clean. from everything in remission and all that stuff. Wild times for sure. Wild times indeed. Are you like in the clear and remission I think like for good now? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Okay. Because now we pass like the 10 year like I had a 20 and now. So I'm like, ooh. Okay. We did it. So now I'm like going into like the 30s. It's like okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:45 I feel healthy. You know and that's what we're talking about like doing the marathon. Yeah. Right. It's like my 20th I was diagnosed and I couldn't do shit. And like my 30th, I'm like, the fact that I can have that blessing in life and the fact, it's like, wow. You know, I'm so lucky and I feel like I've been still learning out, figuring out who I've been in my 20s, right? Because even after treatment, I make music and then I get a record deal.
Starting point is 00:24:10 And then my dad passes that 23, right? And I'm like, so now I'm like. I didn't realize you were that young. And so I'm like, what just happened now? So I could just pass from a heart attack and that was the closest person I had. and like my biggest supporter and my biggest fan and my best friend
Starting point is 00:24:24 and I'm like he was totally fine and normal we're about to go see a movie and then like he doesn't answer his calls and then his friend finds him like dead on the floor
Starting point is 00:24:32 you know and you're like that's another traumatizing thing you know and like my brother not had to go see him and like make sure it was him and like
Starting point is 00:24:41 it was like this whole thing of like you want to be traumatizing your brain like go see your dead parent you know like and it's like that was heavy and weird and that was another trauma that just shocked my system.
Starting point is 00:24:54 So now I'm not worried about what happened if like any of cancer, anything before. Now I'm like, I thought, and earlier I was saying like I came to terms with death on my side. Yeah. But not death in general. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Because when that happened, I was like, my world is shocked. Being that young processing, going through chemo and going everything not on your own, like how do you like process that but then have to process like the death of your father right after? after that.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Like, I can't. The weird moment was that was right when he passed, like, I was about to go on my first tour. Really? And so I was like gearing up for that. Yeah. And I have this tattoo. I don't know what side. It's on this side.
Starting point is 00:25:42 And it says, singer, sing when you look in the mirror. So I'm like a hold of microphone or whatever. You can take a, like, yeah. Yeah. You see, and that's my dad would always say that because we sit on the couch. My dad's like, so sing me a song. And like, that's like my, like I want to impress him the most. of anybody. So I was like, no, like, I'm not ready. I'm still getting used to my voice. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Like, yeah. He's like, hey, you don't like, sing or sing. That's what they do. And I'm like, you know, and like this whole thing. So after he passed, like, I did my first show ever two days after he passed. I remember you telling this. And so, like, they were like, you don't have to do it. And it was like more of like a pop-up kind of like acoustic show. And I was like, but singer sing, right? Like, and I'm like, my dad would be so fucking mad if I didn't do what I love because of him. Because I know it wasn't his. that he randomly passed, right? Yeah. And you have to come in terms with that where it's like I'm in so much pain, but I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to get closer with my dad when I'm on tour and I can grieve with people.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Yeah. Right. So every night at my show is, I'm like, man, this is what I'm going through right now. And like, my brain is like wild. And so you have all these people coming and sharing their stories of people they've lost. And you're kind of finding, like, comfort in all of that, which was so unique in a beautiful experience because I'm talking to people. And like, it's not like, these are fans.
Starting point is 00:26:54 It's like, these are like your friends and family that are. showing up to support and like they hear you and they listen to you. Yeah, connect. If someone can see you, that's what I was saying. Like, that's the biggest thing. It's like being heard and feeling seen. It's like, so when people show up to your show, they're definitely listening to you and they're definitely looking at you. And it's like you want to give that back in a certain way. And so that was really beautiful. But then, you know, after the tour is done, a year and a half later or whatever, then I'm like. Yeah. Left alone with your thoughts. Yeah. But now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And here comes COVID.
Starting point is 00:27:27 You know what I'm saying? And so then it's like, yeah. So my 20s were like, let me teach you some fucking lessons. Right. And they're like, oh, you were quarantined for two years in the beginning of your 20s. We're going to fuck you again and put you back on that mask and gloves. And you're like, what? So I was kind of used to it already at that point.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I can be quarantined. I've done this before. But I was like I didn't. So and that was like where I fully started grieving. And I was like, oh my God. Interesting. You know? And you find out through like relationships here.
Starting point is 00:27:54 And you find out like through like your friends and like life. It's like you kind of figure out who you are. And I put so much shit under the rug. Because it's so quick of your life. Because you're not paying attention. It's like, you'll be cancer. No, go live life. And you're like, I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:28:08 And like, that's just the character I have to play. Yeah. I throw a mask on. I don't even knowing I'm throwing a mask on. I'm just like, well, I'm the happy cancer survivor. Yeah. Duh. Like, I love life.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Yeah. Which I do. But then it's like that I felt like I couldn't even be sad or like, I feel like I'm like, especially with social media. My presence was like smiling all the time. I'm being happy. And I'm like, it's not real. No, it's not real life. And it's like, for me, I want to figure out who I really am and then show people that, right?
Starting point is 00:28:36 Yeah. Not like, I'm figuring it out in real time. It's like, and now I feel like I finally found that. Yeah. Through the process, and especially after COVID, I'm like, okay, like, I know what type of person I want to be. I know a type of like husband I would want to be, a type of father or something eventually where it's like I get it. Yeah. And it's a blessing that a dad that loved me.
Starting point is 00:28:57 So it's like, oh, like, I get to teach my kids one day eventually when it's like, you had a dope grandpa that you don't know. But he's like me, better look at. Yeah. So I'm like, it's all the process of just like growing up. And I think it's so beautiful. But I feel like people put so much pressure on themselves right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:15 And I'm like, I've been there. And I feel like we've all been there of like, don't take it so serious. You know? And it's like there's not that much pressure and just enjoy your life, especially being in your 20s. Yeah. That's like the biggest thing. And I'm just like, I meet people and like, I'm like, I'm in my 20s now. You know, I can say that. I'm like, yo, don't take it so serious. Yeah. Find good friends. Find people that you can laugh with a lot. Find people that you can tell real life, talk real life with. Yeah. I'm lucky that I have a group of friends where I can like walk into a room
Starting point is 00:29:44 and like be like, let's get real. Yeah. I can talk to you. I can talk. Those people I can be like, hey, this time I'm feeling and I know I feel seen and do like, oh, well, we're here. Yeah. sure that's what friends are for right it's like reach out like let's talk a lot of people are like surface level yeah outfit looks cute like let's take pictures and like let's like you know go somewhere and like it's like let's distract with each other yeah and we like each other's company but I'm like having the conversations that are not easy to have yeah I don't know our very is very special yeah when you're like trying to figure out who you are totally I agree with that yeah we've we've been very lucky I feel like over the past few years we've really like honed in on like our
Starting point is 00:30:24 group that is able to have those conversations. And I feel like I've for the first time been able to like have those conversations with friends over the year. And it's so it's so rewarding. And it's so cool to like have friends that one are of safe space. But like also it can be like, hey, Tay, like, you kind of did this and like just saying, you know, like this kind of hurt me or if this kind of came across this way. And I know that it's like not, they're not judging me. They're genuinely like, hey, I love you. But like, we should work on this. And I'm like, great. Like, I trust that and it's so like safe having that. And that's like becoming like the best.
Starting point is 00:30:59 They want your friends want the best for you. Yeah. And it's like, hey, this is. Which is so hard. And you guys have, I love all your guys as friends. We also have like couples that are like the best. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:09 You guys have like a solid like couple groups of friends that I'm like, all the married couple that's like fire. Yeah. And they're all like the sweetest people. I'm like, fuck. That's the dream over here. That's the dream. We do have married friends now.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Makes me feel old. even though I'm 26. So old, man. So old. I did have it like this weird. What was it? A couple months ago. I had this epiphany or I guess realization that I turned 27 next year.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Mind you, it's in March of next year. Like, not soon really. But I literally was driving and I called Taylor and I was like, I'm turning 27 next year. He's like, babe, it's like literally eight months away. Like, calm down. What do you do? And I was like 27. She's like, I turned 30 and four.
Starting point is 00:31:52 years. Don't you know what's about happened in four years? Like enjoy it. Enjoy it. It's also feel like you're a super mature at your age where I'm like you and that's the beauty where you're like I can keep up with people and I'm still young and like have some time to figure out some stuff. Yeah, sure. We laugh because some of our friends are literally like my parents age and sometimes we're like just kind of weird. I mean we hang out with my parents. My guys are fun. Definitely. We have those ones. I'm like, you are the exact same age as my parents or like some of my friends are closer to my parents age than my age. Like this is funny, but I mean, you're five years old than me, so.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Okay. Okay. Okay. It's all. Anyways. Ah. Moofy not. I couldn't just say my age. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I'm a question. We get it. I'm old. Yes. I'm balding. All right. That's fine. You're not balding.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Let's talk about the last. Let's let's put out the elephant in the room now, Taylor. Goodness. I have three hats on right now. Three hats. He's like, I'm going to crawl in a hole now. Okay. Back to my question.
Starting point is 00:33:03 If what words of encouragement would you give to somebody that just got or recently got diagnosed and their world just feels shattered? Is there anything to say in that moment? And that's something that's like, it's a great question because so many people like have friends or family. You're like, what do you do and what do you say? You feel helpless. Yeah. So for somebody who's got diagnosed, all you can do is embrace what you're going through
Starting point is 00:33:34 and know that like cancer doesn't define you, but it is definitely a part of you right at that moment. Yeah. And once you can embrace it and be like, okay, I have cancer as the first step of getting over it is how I feel. And really like dialing in with your friends. If you have friends, you know, like that's a. It was such an important piece that I had, where I was like, I had friends come over. I'd be sick as fuck. Like, I'd be in my bed knocked out.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I'd be sleeping for hours. I would have seven friends over in my living room. My mom's making them dinner or they're ordering food and they're playing video games or watching the game. So my friends would come in my room, like, hey, we're in the living room. Like, we're here. Yeah. You know, and just hearing them. Like, oh, my God, like, changed our life.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I can cry about it because I'm like, oh, like, you know, you could, knowing that you can't get up and interact with them, but knowing that they're there. The reason that they're there is because of you. Yeah. You know, like they can easily be at home, but they're all just like hanging out with each other. And we always made that a thing like, oh, after here he's done with chemo, all the friends are going to meet at the apartment. And we're all going to just like hang out. Wow. You know, and with that, like, keep friends around.
Starting point is 00:34:38 And you might, you might lose a lot of friends because I lost friends during the process because friends, especially at that age. Yeah. Because I was, you know, right now I'm like I like to speak for like the young adults in that community. But it's like you're going to lose friends and don't let that affect you. it's just because they don't know how to handle that situation. Yeah. For me, like, where are my best friend? Some of my best friends are around.
Starting point is 00:34:59 It's like because they're like, we don't want to see our best friend die. You know, and it's like we don't want to see him when we can't do anything about it. Yeah. You know, because they're all like, we do everything together. And when I got sick, a lot of people were like, whoa. Yeah. What do I? You know, and like, I talk to my friends now because we're still close.
Starting point is 00:35:15 And I'm like, you know, at the time, I'm like, that hurt my feelings. I'm like, yeah, but like, you're the closest person I had at the time. So it's like I didn't want to lose you. You know, and it's like things like that. And you put that in perspective of like, okay, like don't, it's your journey. Yeah. And so just like be patient with yourself, but also like fine. And that's why I started my charity.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Hey, I'm here for you. Yeah. Because it's like I'm helping others find like their music. Right. So I had music to fall back on and it's like figure out what, what is your music? What is the thing that makes you tick? What is the thing that gets you happy? Like genuinely.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah. Not because someone has so many likes on it or they got the most comments. because they did this trend or they did this. It's like create your own thing and like figure out who you are. And, you know, those things are very unique. And so when someone's like diagnosed, it's scary as fuck and there's not much you can do. And it's like my heart breaks for those people. And it's like how can you now it's about like, okay, well, you have it.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Right. And that's like find something you love to do and make that a part of your day. It's like the best advice I can give somebody. And then for someone who has a friend or someone going through that or a family member, It's like everyone's like, I get to ask a lot. Like, what do I do? It's like, just be there. Don't ask all the time.
Starting point is 00:36:27 How are you feeling? You feel like shit? You know, it's like, you know, it's like, but you don't know what to do. So I get it. How are you feeling? You just want to like make them feel like, but then people just want to feel like normal and seen. And it's like just be patient, be kind and just be there. Whether it's bringing someone lunch or just showing up at the house or just
Starting point is 00:36:44 making somebody like, hey, I'm here if you need me. Yeah. You know, and that's why again, start the charity. Hey, I'm here for you. I have a tatted on my palm Oh, stop Aw You'll shake your hand
Starting point is 00:36:55 Like, what is that? It's a tat fool It's a nice segue Yeah That's a fun conversation starter I love that Where did that come from Like do the foundation
Starting point is 00:37:06 Where did the name come from Like why were you like I'm gonna start a When did you start it? When did you start it? A couple of years back During COVID Okay
Starting point is 00:37:14 I made an album And the album's called Ham Here for you Yeah And it was like this whole thing While I was making the album, then I got inspired to do the charity. And so I worked really closely with Teen Cancer America, which is foundation, like started by Roger Daltry and Pete Townsend from the Who, that band. That won a little band.
Starting point is 00:37:32 And they took it from the UK and they brought it to the U.S. And when I was sick, I did Good Morning America when I was 20. And like, they saw it and reached out. And they were like, we want you to be a part of while I was in treatment. They're like, we want to be like ambassador for teen cancer America. And so I did that. And like, I was like going through treatment and showing people what it was like. And like I was working with teen cancer America.
Starting point is 00:37:59 And what they do is they build out facilities inside hospitals. Yeah. Like a safe space. So if you're a pediatric patient, you're zero to 19. So you're 19 doing chemo with a two year old. Right. So your brain is like, I can't relate to this kid and I feel really bad for this kid. But I'm also going through some.
Starting point is 00:38:19 too. Yeah. You know, so it's a really mind fuck. And so they build out a space because hippo laws, say if we were in the, we're in the cancer center together and I'm like, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:30 I love country music and I love, you know, blah, blah. Is there anybody on this floor that likes country music near my age or something in there? They can't disclose anything. Like no little information like that, no big information,
Starting point is 00:38:42 no, not even the name, not even an age. Wow. You can't. But the nurses want to do so bad, right? Because they're like,
Starting point is 00:38:48 I think they would be best friends. but the only way you can do that if you meet in a common ground where there's no spaces built in any hospital. Yeah. And so Teen Cancer America has been going in and they build out spaces for teens to escape 13 to 19. They can escape and be in a space like this where there's computers and a TV
Starting point is 00:39:07 and it could be a podcast room. It could be a meditation room. It could be a recording studio. Like just a space where young adults can go in and feel free, draw and paint or whatever. Yeah. And most hospitals do not. not have that. And the donations in the cancer world, like pediatric, you just go down Sunset Boulevard
Starting point is 00:39:26 or McDonald's and you see a baby with a tube and it snows. And it's like, pediatric, donate to the children's hospital. Yeah. You know, and you donate your dolls and you donate your pacifiers and you donate your teddy bears and Barbies. And then the 13 and 19 year olds are like, but what do we get? Yeah. Dang. And so that's why I started the charity because I'm like, I see it because I was 20 and I felt alone. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, imagine those kids. I'm like, I get the. feeling. You want to feel seen and heard, especially in that world. They're not like a teen, but there's like the, they made it like a fantasy like fall in
Starting point is 00:39:56 our stars and everyone's like, ah, the couples that fall in love and they're sick and dying where those producers hit me up. And they're like, so is this right? Like, do they feel like this and stuff? And you're like, what the fuck? It comes like this like sexual fantasy almost like this weird thing that was happening where it was like all these teen cancer heart throbs. And you're like, what's happening right now?
Starting point is 00:40:15 I'm so confused. Definitely a few of them go dark. And you're like, I don't know what's happening. But that's what the teens get is like, you know. Yeah. And these movies are not really, I don't know what they're really doing for teens with cancer, except just like highlighting it, I guess. But it's like, you, I was so focused and so fucking passionate about building this space.
Starting point is 00:40:35 And so we built it in Nashville. Yeah. As I can tell, I'm saying. Yes. Was that a couple, a few years ago? When did you finish building? I think it got done about like right after. for COVID.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Okay. And then now it's like in the process because you couldn't go for a couple of years after COVID because like you have to monetize everything and like now it's really ramping up. Now it's right. Now it's why I'm moving over there. Love it. And so it's like I want to really be a part of it to focus on kids. And so we build out this cancer center and it's with teen cancer.
Starting point is 00:41:09 It's with me. Kylie helped us raise money for it. Yeah. Because she got to come to some of the chemos when I was sick. And so it was like, we're like, let's do something to. Yeah, right? And we got to do that, which is so beautiful. And now it's a space and now we're going to get into the next steps of like, okay, like let's figure out what these, how to find their music. So we're starting with Nashville and we want to obviously expand. But in our hospital has been reaching out like, we want and I want to do that. But I want to figure out how to really program it right. So then we can be like, okay, that's copy and paste. Yeah. Copy and paste. Because like well-oiled machine. Yeah, because without, you know, they've been. You know, they've build the center and they build a place where you could have treatment and stuff. And I'm like, pretty much what we're talking about, how do I be the fun uncle? How can I come in and be like,
Starting point is 00:41:57 I know you're going through all this stuff, but how can I come and provide? It's like not just a dream. It's like a path. Yeah. Yeah. What is what is it? Yeah. Right? Because then it could, the smallest thing could be, I want to act. Okay, cool. Taylor's like, hey, I'm in Nashville for, okay, cool. At the 155 kids, these 10 really want to act. So he can be like, I'm to come and teach a class. Yeah. Right? And then you might. be like, hey, there's three kids I really like and I feel like they have something like special. And now you're like, I'm going to put them on an email thread and like just see how they're doing once a month or once every, you know, it's like just or connect to them every, however you feel.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yeah. So now these kids who come from nowhere can be like, wait, there's an opportunity that I would never have had ever in life. And now I have something to fight for. But you're telling me that like Taylor saw me and like like there's like little unique connections that I've got to have in this world. And I'm like to build hope with kids who don't have. have it or have the most of it. Yeah. It's like really special.
Starting point is 00:42:52 And I'm like, how do I, how do I build something that can, the kid wants to be a scientist? Like, how do you lead him to or her to be that? Because a lot of these kids want to be doctors. Oh, wow. Because they want to find a cure. They want to figure out how to be, you know? And so like, it's like, okay, like, what's your, what college you want to go to in the 14 year old girl, you know?
Starting point is 00:43:11 And it's like, okay, how do we, from the next, how long are you going to do treatment? How do we provide and help you with the tools to get you to that. goal. Yeah. Right. So now your brain's distracted with like, oh, I'm missing prom and I'm da-da-da, missing football games. And now you're like, oh, I can be a full adult and like, yeah, not have it be so serious. And it's like the, it's like, oh, like I'm excited. You know, I'm having a songwriting class today or I'm doing, you know, yoga today or whatever it is. We're just, I want to provide kids to have a new vision. Yeah. Because I also think along with the physical treatments and the medicines, I also feel like the mental is. And I feel like that's what
Starting point is 00:43:48 you guys started this, right? It was like the focusing on the mental and the mental health of what's going on in the world. Because I feel like it's been way more difficult after COVID. Like a lot of people's mental health declined a lot. Yeah. You know? And so it's like, imagine after COVID and then getting sick. And then you're like, fine.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Yeah. And like the rates of young adults with cancer like spiked like 25% since COVID. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Interesting. Just because people weren't like getting checked. I know.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Exactly. I remember when I was still working at the hospital because I worked. as a COVID nurse at Northridge. And I remember hearing that, like, once we kind of, like, reopened up, it was, like, the number of, like, cancer patients, like, shot up because no one was, like, didn't, no one wanted to leave. No one was getting checked. So, I mean, that doesn't surprise me, but I didn't even, I didn't even think about that. Did I even tell you that? I think you did.
Starting point is 00:44:38 I don't know if we talked about it. Yeah. That's wild. It's unfamiliar. Yeah. So, like, that's difficult. Yeah. And then you have most of these nurses quitting.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Yeah. Because they're barely getting paid and it's so intense and they're trying to build real relationships with these kids who are passing away. It's like wild things. So I'm trying with the charity, I'm trying to take care of the nurses and also the kids that they're taking care of too. So it's like providing for both worlds because it's like they're they need to be there because they're pretty much pride like prime caretakers of these kids. Yeah. For sure. How can people support your foundation?
Starting point is 00:45:14 Just by being a, you know, click link my bio. No kidding. We're going to like it below. Like. No, so we're launching the website in the next month. Okay. We're really building it out, trying to get it all right. We're going to have like a shop and things like that.
Starting point is 00:45:28 So the volunteer, there's going to be all of that. So once that comes up, I'll send it to you guys. But it's hey, I'm herefor you.org. Right? I always get confused with the org. Yeah. It's an organization, but I'm like, an org. It just doesn't sound good.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, whoever does. did that org.com.org. But it's hammeryfrey.org. And we're going to have it up and running. It's going to be beautiful. We're shooting a video for it now just to like show because I want to be the most transparent
Starting point is 00:46:00 charity. I don't want to like write it from like an old man's perspective. Like this charity was started in 2019 and started by Harry Hudson. He's a singer and a songwriter from California. You know, it's like it's just going to be a video. I'm like, this is why I did it. Pretty much what I just told you. in 45 seconds.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Like, this is what I'm doing. This is why I'm doing it. Here it is. Yeah. Right? So we're making that video. And then once that goes up, then we're going to go live. And then people can donate through just buying merch or donate in general.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Yeah. Or, you know, just to see. Because I want to be really transparent with it. So if someone gives me money, I want to be like, it's not going into a cure. Right? Because people donate so much money, trillions of dollars into the cure. Yeah. You just put it there and you don't hear back.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Yeah. If someone gave me 10 grand, I can be like, we bought, you know, five laptops and six the iPads and this. And you can show them. And then these kids are, we downloaded this for these kids. And they're happened to be, you know, started putting music programs on it. And one's getting into graphic design with it. So you can kind of keep up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:05 And be like, oh, whoa. Like, I know where my money went. And like, that's, that's awesome because I helped kids. I would never have been able to be provided with those types of things. So we're building out that program We're doing because I just want to do it right I want to do it 100% Just like you can see where your money goes
Starting point is 00:47:21 You can you know Get the kids involved and start just building it out Because I want to make it like the 100, 200 year charity give it to like my great great grandkids Let's go The process of doing it is difficult You know so it's like I don't want to do it And just like let's make money and look good
Starting point is 00:47:37 Yeah You know it's like let's actually do good Let's like feel good Let's figure out how to do that Because once it's lined up then it's like the easiest part. Yeah, I love that. More than on your way.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Yeah. Well, congrats to you on that. Your new song that's out, emotional hangover. Where did you? You also have a meditation version, and I would love to hear why you did that. Yeah. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Thank you for that question because I like to talk about that. It's so funny because I was with my producer. There's Izzy Fontaine. Okay. Best guy. Izzy's the best. And so we're together. I was doing therapy a lot with him at this time.
Starting point is 00:48:13 And so I made it like a point after my therapy. I would have a session with him. So I leave therapy. You can go right to him and be like, that's what I feel. Yeah. And he would try to produce to the feelings I was making. Right.
Starting point is 00:48:26 And we wrote that song really quick. And I was like, oh, it would be cool to like, we're talking about, oh, what if we did an acoustic version or a stripped down version? And like, you know, now TikTok's like the spin up version and the slowdown version. It's like all these things. And I was like, what about the version without me on it? And he was like, what does that sound like? And then we both were just talking.
Starting point is 00:48:45 I'm like, because we both started getting into meditation together. Okay. And I was like, we're, I was just like, what if we made like a meditation version and take the same chords and it's the same instrument?
Starting point is 00:48:56 We just like elongated everything and like put verbs and different sounds on what the produced beat was already. Yeah. And so we like, you stripped it down, but made it more towards, and we found frequencies. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:08 So the emotional hangover frequency is like the heart chakra. Wow. And like three. like the binarial beats and so like we just like kind of like went in on it in a crazy like weird way because I was like that's because that's where I'm at and I'm really focused on my mental health yeah and sometimes it's like hearing a voice throws me off and I'm a singer and like I make music and like sometimes I'm like yeah it's crazy because the biggest like playlist are like top 100 like pop songs or like reading and medical.
Starting point is 00:49:43 meditation music. Yeah. Background music, yoga music. It's like those types of things. It's like huge. Yeah. And for me, I'm like, I meditate all the time. It would be really beautiful to do something in that sense.
Starting point is 00:49:55 And it's five minutes. So I don't like sit there. And because everyone's like, how do you meditate? And it's like, if you can just like sit without your thoughts for five minutes, that's meditation. Right. Right. And so it's like all I have to do is put this song on and close your eyes. And when it ends, go start your day.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Go do something. Or if you're a lunch break at work. Yeah. listen to it for five minutes. It's just five minutes. And you're like, okay, because the point of meditation is to come back into self. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:22 And for me, I'm anxious a lot. Yeah. So if I don't meditate, I can come home and my brother knows. He's, he'll know. Like, I'll come home and like, hey, what's up? I'm like normal for five seconds. I'm also bipolar. And so I get triggered and really like weird ass things.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And then it's just like I'm not in my, I'm not like centered. Yeah. And once I like I step away for five minutes. I'm like, breathe and listen to this meditation songs. Then I'm like, that'll send me. So sorry. I was like, how's a demon? It's like, you know, and like, it's like, give me a snickers or whatever that.
Starting point is 00:50:53 The commercial is, I'm a monster. Yeah. It's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, oh, man, I'm sorry. I was freaking out for no reason. Like, it's not that deep. I don't know what I was doing. Like, I couldn't find my water. I'm like, everything's ruined.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah. Water bottle, you know, it's like those times. So I think I did that because I love talking about mental health now. and I love talking about meditation, how it saved my life. But I'm not trying to sit here and be like, I'm a yogi. I'm just an escape to like dive back into yourself to be like, I can go through the rest of the day and be like, I'm good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:25 I'm not going to be like overwhelmed or whatever. Yeah. And so for all those songs that are going to come out, we're going to do a meditation version. Really? With them. Yeah. So I'm like, so it's taking a little bit of time because we're like trying to make all that perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Making a number of songs. And then also like trying to. to focus on the chakras and the healing aspects of the music. And a lot of people are like, we love the meditation versions of the song. So I'm like, I haven't really dove into it. And now, like, I'm about to really focus on the next couple months with like the music and this marathon. The New York City marathon.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah. So I'm like, I'm trying to do this whole meta world where like I'm going to start posting on social media. I haven't posted in so long. Yeah. And people are just like, man, what the hell? Because also like, I'm just like, I'm just trying to be the, like, I'm just trying to human and interact first because I was
Starting point is 00:52:14 so heavy on social media before and now I'm just just chill. So when I come back I'm like I want to come back in a really unique way and like not be the guy who's like you've ever been through life and lost last you know a car or something I don't know what the fuck I'm saying and then someone's like this is
Starting point is 00:52:30 a song for you or like you see that's how people promote songs and 200,000 songs get released every two days wow thing about that like 200,000 artists are just like here's a song that I made and I'm It means a lot to me. That's so crazy. You're like, whoa, I'm like, there's so much in the world.
Starting point is 00:52:47 It's like, how do you, again, be your unique self and come up with something that hasn't really been released? So, like, the meditation version of the mental health, like, we're shooting in this short film right now that's like building up to the marathon. And then also after the marathon, that's like, I'm trying to, you know, it's like, and then it's going to, my music's all going to be a part of that. Dang. And so it's like the health, the mental health, the, it all leads in. to how music changed my life and like helping people fine.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Again, their music, whether they're sick or not sick and it's like life's short and we should all be doing what we love. Yeah. Or figuring it out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:24 You're still young. You'll get it, Tay. I'll get it someday. She's good. She's not 27 until next March. Yeah, you have so much time. I remember when I was 27,
Starting point is 00:53:32 best years. Yeah. They're good years. Good years coming. So excited for you. I do feel, it is less scary because I like,
Starting point is 00:53:40 watch Taylor go through this thing. age, you know, like I watched you go through those years. That's wild, yeah. So I'm like, okay, I feel. I saw him doing like, I could do the same thing. If you got through it, I can get through it. I can be tan and handsome.
Starting point is 00:53:54 I definitely can't be tan part. Definitely cannot get there. I mean, fake tan. We all have our ways. Absolutely. Love you, buddy. I love you. Love you.
Starting point is 00:54:07 I love my tailors. I love life. And, you know, keep on rocking in the free world, you know. Let's go. Squeeze out. Squeeze out, maybe. Wow. Squeeze out goes crazy.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Oh, man. Thank you so much for squeezing us into your day. Please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube. You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my lovely wife, at Tay Lautner. Check out the squeeze on Instagram at the squeeze. And also give a little glance. and a follow to Lemonsbytee. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com.
Starting point is 00:54:53 And also be sure to email us, Lapner.org, the squeeze podcast at gmail.com. If you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see, we've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey with those around you and send our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Tootles McGoodles, everyone. The goodles. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.

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