The Squeeze - Heidi Montag: Holding On to What Matters

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

In this week’s episode, Tay sits down with singer and reality TV personality Heidi Montag! Heidi opens up about how she first got into music, what inspired her move to Los Angeles, and the story behind joining MTV’s The Hills. She reflects on her experience filming the show and what it was like navigating reality TV at such a young age. Heidi shares how she met her now husband Spencer Pratt, the tools that have helped their relationship grow stronger, including understanding communication styles, expressing your needs, and love languages, and how they continue to prioritize their relationship and family despite busy schedules. She also reflects on motherhood, her experience with pregnancy, and the advice she’d give to first-time moms. Heidi opens up about losing their home in the Palisades fire, walking through their journey of grief, what that loss has taught her, and where they are today. She also shares practical advice on protecting your home and being prepared for the unexpected, from go-bags to keeping important documents organized. To close, Heidi gives a glimpse into her new music coming out this year and her upcoming performance at the Neon Skies Festival!Be sure to follow Heidi https://instagram.com/heidimontag/!Get tickets to the Neon Skies Festival here: https://www.ticketmaster.ca/neon-skies-festival-tickets/artist/4301587Stream Heidi’s new song here: https://lnk.to/SupermodelHeidiTo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Go to tempomeals.com/SQUEEZE for 60% off your first box!Explore Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.com.Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code SQUEEZE for 40% off 2+ pairs of polarized sunglasses.Visit gatorade.com to learn more.Visit yasso.com/SQUEEZE to enter and upgrade your freezer! Find full giveaway details, rules, and regulations. Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purchase necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: yasso.com/SQUEEZESave 25% on your first month at ritual.com/THESQUEEZE.Find your favorite flavor at premierprotein.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Tricia Peda said she named her album after me. I thought I'd be super official bitch. I was like, girl, I love you. My Roman Empire right now are pop stars. I am studying for my life. I always wanted to be a pop star. Like, I would listen to Madonna when I was eight years old.

I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be successful. I always felt destined for Hollywood. When you like think back to like that time period of the hills, like what comes to mind first? Most of my experience was just with Spencer. We just had so much fun. Being on reality TV, do you feel like it affected your sense of self? I'm very independent.

I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to say what I want. I'm going to be who I want. So it really allowed me to step into myself. So it wasn't just about like, great, I'm on the hills right now. And this is it. It's like, great, I'm on the hills right now. And I'm going to be a pop star and I'm going here and I'm going to go there.

And I met the love of my life. I always wanted to meet my husband young. Go through life with someone as like my best friend, my partner. I came from a divorce family. Prayed about it a lot. Your entire relationship has been in the public. public guy. We never really looked to the public for any validation. It was more of the opposite. I'm kind of a rebel. Spencer's kind of a rebel. We both have that streak in us a little bit.

A little more serious. Obviously, he and Spencer have been very vocal about losing your home. I mean, I cried on the way over here thinking about, I know. I get so sad about it, but three-year-old saying he's going to push our house back up. It's like, I can do it, mom. I'm strong I'm going off of a let's go back. I'll push our house up and helping them through it and talking through it too. The music really got me through all of this. It just gave me such a light and it just made me be like, okay. Everything's going to be okay. Hello, lemon drops. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze. I hope you are having an amazing day. I hope your week is going great. And I'm so excited to introduce to you today's guest, Ms. Heidi Montag.

Heidi is a reality TV star singer and media personality best known for her role on MTV's The Hills. During her time on the Hills, Heidi met her love of her life, Spencer Pratt, and they are married to this day with two children. Heidi calls herself a full-time mom and part-time pop star, and I think that encapsulates her so well. She speaks openly about motherhood, personal growth, finances, lessons learned from fame at a young age. In this episode, we cover all of the topics. motherhood, what it was like for her being on reality TV at such a young age and also growing up and just going through life in the spotlight. We also talk about the loss of her and Spencer's family home during the Palisades Fire and how she's working through her grief from that.

She was full of so much wisdom and we honestly had the best time. I cannot wait for you guys to hear from her. You are going to love her. Heidi, welcome to the squeeze. Thank you. I'm so excited. I feel like you're the white of your outfit with the green and the brown is really just like you fit the aesthetic in here so well. Perfect. I'm like, it feels so good. You are, you are one with the squeeze. Okay, so we start each episode off with this jar. It's a game called Citrus Scott Real.

If you want to pull a little piece of paper. Perfect. I thought that there was trash in there. You're like, that's an odd place. I was like, that's an interesting decoration. Okay. What's your Roman Empire? Okay.

Okay. What is my Roman Empire? Like something you're like obsessed with, I guess that is. I'm like my husband. No. That's a good. I would say like any, anything that's like a YHA, I think. I'm like, like I love like the summer I turn pretty in Bridgeton.

Like anything that's like a love story like that. It's just that really. Did you see the empress? No, I haven't watched that. Okay. So good. Netflix. I'm literally like noting that.

Did you watch Victoria? Wait, no, I didn't watch that. Are you on like the line of Bridgeton? Or what? It's a little darker. Okay. But it depends. Because when you're like in a certain state of life, you only want to watch a certain type of thing.

You know? So right now I can watch all things and not have any type of reaction, you know. But my Roman Empire right. now are pop stars. I am studying for my life. I have the SATs coming up for pop stars because I own my own record label and have since the beginning of, I don't know, 15 years or whatever. Oh, wow. And I have to curate my own shows. I don't have anyone to help me, right? I have to like figure out the aesthetic. I have to figure out all the background assets for it. I have to figure out the facials, the choreography with the choreographer, like so much. Yeah. So I've been watching.

watching on YouTube all the pop stars, all the pop girlies, you know, like Jenny and Lisa and Zara and Slater and Tate and like, okay, well, what is, what are their backgrounds? Like, what's their lighting? What's their aesthetic? What's the timing? How long is in between each song? Like, what is, you know, are they pulling someone up on stage? Are they not? So it's been like a deep dive on pop. Yeah. I love that. Well, it's also, that's also fun because that's like your job. So it's fun that you're like so obsessed with your job and you're doing that. Wow, 15 years. I didn't know that. What, what originally was music always what you wanted to do? When I was younger, I always wanted to be a pop star. Like I would listen to Madonna when I was eight years old and my

headphones walking around and I carry and I was like, I would love to sing. And my mom put me in voice lessons when I was like eight, seven or eight and was always so supportive of my dreams. but I wanted to be in Hollywood. I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be successful. And my mom would drive me to acting classes, like three hours each way. Oh, wow. In Aspen, because we didn't live near Aspen, but that's where they were.

And that's where they would go to pilot season. Yeah. It was from Aspen, you know, because obviously there's a lot of movie stars there and, like, rich kids. And I wasn't one of them, but my mom, like, did everything she could to put me in, like, dance class, voice lessons, acting. So that was, I always felt destined for Hollywood. I love that. So is that what made you make the move out here? I actually was, it's like a little weird of a rewind,

but I was living abroad as a junior in high school in Italy. Okay. And I didn't want to come back to my small town of 2,000 people, maybe it was even 1,500 at the time, and have a senior year. I was like, I've literally been living by myself, going to fashion shows, in the world, And so I said to my mom, like, I don't want to come home.

I want to. And she's like, great, get your GED and have your senior year be now your freshman year of college somewhere or whatever. Yeah. So I got my GED and I got into fashion school because I was obsessed with fashion. I was going to be a fashion star because I became friends with the Monsi family. And I was like, oh, I'm going to, you know, whatever, blah, blah. Yeah. So I met Lauren at fashion school.

Okay. And then I was living in San Francisco and I didn't like. San Francisco. Yeah. I was like almost attacked by some home like a homeless person. Yeah. And the streets were just so like dirty and cold. And I was just like like this is not California.

This is not my California dream. So I decided to move. And then, you know, Lauren was like, oh, you can come be on my show. And that was it. When you like think back to like that time period of the hills, like what, what comes to mind first? Does it like happy? Is it like, oh gosh?

like what are the first like emotions when you think about it? So fun. Like I had a different experience than everyone else on the cast because most of my experience was just with Spencer. Like they, after season two really we didn't interact with anyone. Yeah. So we just had so much fun. And we were like in the music studio most of the time actually in the house. Like we'd go

film our scene as quick as we could. We're like just give us our lines. We had to go the studio. And then most of the time was actually in the studio making Superficial. So Superficial came out in 2009, but I had been working on it since 2006 or seven for like two years. And then ever since then, I did the music and then it had this huge comeback.

And I didn't realize what an underground fan base it had and what an impact it had on like up-and-coming artists. Like Slater said to me years ago and even recently when we had her on a different podcast we had. She was like, you were like one of my quintessential pop stars. and Trisha Peda said she named her album after me. She's like, I couldn't do superficial, but I thought I'd be super official bitch. I was like, girl, I love you.

Oh my gosh. That is so cool. I'm so curious. Like when, like, being on reality TV, like at, you were young, like at such a young age, do you feel like it affected your sense of self? Or do you feel like because you had lived so much life before you kind of knew who you were? I felt like I had lived so much before and I was always so confident in my own skin. And I've just, I'm very independent.

I've always been very independent. Like, I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to say what I want. I'm going to be who I want. So it really allowed me to step into myself and like who I always wanted to be because the only element I was ever missing was money. So I was like, great. Now I have money to buy the clothes I want.

to look how I want. So it was a really great experience for me. Obviously, there was hard times and it was challenging, but I've always been a really like Pollyanna type of person. So I'm like, well, great, that's hard and I'm going to work through that and think about that. And then I'm going to choose to be positive, to move forward, to focus on the good to, you know, I always had big goals. Yeah. So it wasn't just about like, great, I'm on the hills right now and this is it. It's like, great, I'm on the hills right now and I'm going to be a pop star and I'm going here and I'm going to go there and I'm going to, you know, I work so hard and I keep having a plan. Yeah. So it was just a means to an end. And I met the love at my life. Yeah. So that was, that changed everything for me.

Yeah. That's so special. It's so cool that like you, that you and Spencer really have just gone through. Like, like, you got to like grow up together. Right. In a sense. Like, I feel like that is so special and most couples don't get to like experience obviously not just like being on a reality TV show together but experience like that life together and growth together. During the week, my schedule can get pretty nonstop between work, workouts, running errands, and podcasts. Cooking is usually the first thing to fall off the list. That's why tempo makes such a difference. Tempo delivers fresh chef-crafted dietitian-approved meals right to your door. And everything comes fully prepared, so all you have to do is heat it up. It takes about two minutes, which makes it really easy to stay consistent, even on

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yeah about meeting my husband and the right person and it was so fun and now we have so many memories together and when you work with someone and especially it was us against the world we understand each other to such a depth and such a different capacity and you know right now is the first time we're kind of on our own worlds which feels a little weird and a little um a little um exciting at the same time, but we were always together. Yeah. How has it been for you guys to navigate because your entire relationship has been in the public eye? How has that been navigating hard times, good times for the two of you?

We, yeah, it can be a lot, especially with it being so public. Yeah. And for us, we never really looked to the public for any validation. It was more of the opposite. Like, I'm kind of a rebel. Spencer's kind of a rebel. We're both like have that streak in us a little bit. So we're both like, we can do what we want.

And, you know, it always united us. But you do have to go through things in life. And it is hard. And it's about even if you disagree or whatever, communicating and coming together. and figuring out how do we move forward and having the hard conversations. You know, that's never fun. Nobody ever wants to do that. Yeah.

But you have to do that and you have to really be able to speak your own heart and truth and trust the other person with that. Yeah. So you have to just be really honest with yourself in a relationship and be your own advocate and make sure you're getting your needs met. And if they're not, you need to say, hey, I need this from you, or hey, I'm feeling like that. Communication is just the most important thing.

Yeah, I agree with that. But definitely. Especially, I think that even comes down to, like, love languages, too. Like, Taylor and I have very different love languages. So, like, when I finished my first trimester, he surprised me with flowers. And, like, it's been, like, I've, like, literally sobbed so much just because he's, like, learned my love language during this. but when, I think it was for like Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day and my birthday.

I was obviously pregnant for both of those. And I was like, just letting you know, like, I would like some nice flowers, please. Thank you. That's all I want. I don't want a gift. I want some nice flowers. And that's it. And he's like, yes.

But I feel like then I'm not, like, I can't expect him to read my mind to like know. Right. And people forget. Yeah. You know, like, oh, shoot. And I didn't order them in time. And then, you know, it's like. Yeah.

We did a show called Marriage Boot Camp, and then they like dissected your love languages. And I was like, oh my gosh, you're right. It's such an important part of the relationship or the love languages. Yeah. You kind of touched on this, but I feel like you both are so busy separately in your own lives right now. How do you like find time and prioritize time for you to as a couple, but also as a family? I have a mandatory once a week date night for Spencer and I. even if he's on his phone the whole time.

I'm like, well, we're together. Yeah. And I have no expectation of the time. I'm like, okay, just want to go and you know that I'm making the time. Yeah. It's probably too much for your, I don't know if it's appropriate or not, but like intimacy is so important. Yeah. It's so important.

I will count how many times a week to make sure enough is it. You know what I mean? Like you have to stay intimate with your significant other. Yeah. And I think that's one of our actual secrets of marriage as well is prioritizing that because maybe sometimes it's less important for me or him or it doesn't notice. But also like for us, we just like we were crying laughing the other night. Like it was, you know what I mean? Like it's also fun. Like it should be fun. It's just a time to connect. Whatever intimacy is,

it doesn't have to be just sex. But like being in bed and cuddling, like that's important to me every night, you know, to like, all right, well, I want to go to sleep in your arms. Yeah. Like, at night, that's important. Um, so whatever is important to you, wherever you can find that time. And we talk on the phone a lot. Yeah. You know, we're just like, it's like a diet, walkie talkie. I'm like, yeah. So we are used to being together so much and maybe like over talking. I mean, sometimes we'll just be on the phone and it's silent. But we're like, yeah, but it's like, it's just nice. You guys are very similar to Taylor night because we're both very much like that. If one of us is traveling, like I was just in D.C.

So I literally would have Taylor on like FaceTime and I'd put him on the bed. And I was just like wanting to like hear what he was doing. And then he was also in the middle of like watching a basketball game. So like was half being attention to me. But I was changing and about to go to a dinner. But it's just like I feel like some of my friends are like, what are you doing? Like you talk to him way too much. But it's like.

There's no such thing. Yeah. There's no such thing. I love that. I like that you brought up the intimacy thing though. because I think it's obviously important. And like, there are so many other forms of intimacy than just having sex. Like there's just, I, my joke right now, because obviously being pregnant my first

trimester and even still now, that's not really like the thing I really want at the moment because I'm just so uncomfortable all the time. And so I'll be like with Taylor, I'll be like, I need skin to skin. Like, just like joking because we're about to have a baby. Right. But we're like, I need skin to skin. and I just like will lay like on his chest and I'm like it's just like having that like moment like we just we took an app earlier and like my arm was here and his arm was over mine

and just like having that like touch like connection yes you forget I feel like how much you need that and that's something I've learned about myself maybe I'm physical touch but like if I am because I'm saying this um as I'm going like throughout my day and I'm definitely I am the more and Taylor would attest to this I am the more independent one like I I'm an only child and I just have always done everything for myself. I'm like, I'll do it all. Like, that's just my mindset all the time. And so it's easy for me, not to forget about Taylor,

but to like have like that moment of touch. And I feel like since pregnancy, because I've had to like rely on him for the first time because I was like on my deathbed during my first remaster and really so heavily relied on him. Like I've really leaned into him and kind of like remembered how much I actually do, like, need to even just, like, hold his hand. Like, how much that skin to skin just, like, touch, like, means.

And it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. I feel like with pregnancy, it's unknown, unknown that whatever is best for you. If you're feeling sexy and fun and great and then great. And if you're not, then great. Yeah. Like, it's such a sacred time and you got to follow your cues. So, like, whatever that is, you know what I mean?

That's important. But probably the most intimate, orgasmic best thing you'll have is a foot rub. There is nothing better than a foot rub. Oh, my gosh. I would just shove my feet in Spencer's face. By the end of it, I was like, I am waiting and I am not waiting. I had one of my feet on Taylor last night on the couch and I was like, It was just like, flicking it towards him.

He's like, do you want? I'm like, yep. Uh-huh. Yeah, there's nothing. I'm not there. I'm not like fully there yet of like the aching, but I definitely will. Yeah. It's, it is a lot of pressure you probably feel on yourself.

Yeah. The first trimester is hard. Yeah. So you just got a really, and it's so important. And I feel like that's probably why you're not feeling. You know, your hormones are protecting the baby. Yeah. It's like protect the baby.

Make sure everything's fine. And second trimester is great. Yeah. I mean, and I know you've heard that. But it's like, okay, that's the time. And then third trimester is the same. You got to, like, different and the same as the first. Yeah.

Like, you got to take it a little more easy, whatever is feeling up to or not. And then after is really hard to. Yeah. Because you don't, like, I remember being postpartum and not realizing how hormonal it really was. Just kind of like up and down. And I'm a very positive, even keel. balanced, serious, you know, like, everything is always great.

Yeah. Like, even if it's not, I'll work through it. We'll figure it out. But I didn't realize that was, it was really challenging. It was weird not feeling like myself. And I think that was foreign. It's like, who is this person? I'm feeling so, like, weird and sad or like, I need my mom.

But it's temporary, too. And you got to just give yourself such grace because I'm, like, perfectionist. Yeah. You know, and you just got to be like, okay, I am, I'm great. Everything's fine. I don't need to be anyone right now. I don't need to do anything right now.

I just need to be and, like, nurture myself and nurture this baby. And, you know what I mean? You've got to like care for yourself because it's, you know, but you'll be great at that. I think I've given myself grace physically doing things, but mentally I haven't. And I expect the same mental clarity and mental performance. as I would before I was pregnant, but my mental capacities like still gets like so tired halfway through the day if I've worked from like eight to one. Yeah.

So I've really been having to learn to like give myself grace with that. Yes. And your brain is like changing with your hormones. Yeah. You have what are they say? pregnancy brain. Yeah. You know, it's like that's true.

No, it's very true. Did you struggle with postpartum depression or anything like that or was it just kind of like you feel like a letdown of your hormones? It wasn't depression, but it was intense. Yeah. It's intense, you know, and it would come and it would go. And it was at a time that Spencer became super busy. And it was like the first time he kind of left me to go be busy.

And I was like, excuse me? Like, don't forget. Yeah. So that was hard for me that he left. and I had like anxiety attacks being alone because I was like, what if something happens to me? And I die right here. And then this baby is left in the crib. And like, I'm going through this crazy. Yeah. You know, I never had anxiety before I had kids. Okay. And sometimes I still work on anxiety with the kids. You know, it's just a lot. It's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of stress. It's a lot

at stake. And you care, right? Like, care more than I ever have before. Before it's like, yola, whatever. And I was like, no yolo. Yeah. Like right here, right now. So, yeah, I just have learned to kind of breathe and be like, what are, what am I thinking about right now? Okay, that's not real. That's not true. Say a prayer, take a deep breath, whatever it is. I can change my thoughts, you know, like, and then if you even, if I even start saying anxiety, I like start getting anxiety. I'm like, oh my gosh, it creeps in. So it's interesting that like after you have a baby, you know, your whole world changes.

Yeah. I'd love to know, like, just like the perspective change on life that you had when you became a mom, like what, if there's something like specifically that comes to mind or it can even just be like broad of how you maybe viewed life or went about things after becoming a mom, if anything changed. I mean, I was very just Spencer focused, you know, and I would like clean the house and I was like a, like, a, like, OCD. I was just very like clean. Now like the house is messy most of time. I've had to like let that go because I can't full time clean and full time work and full time this and that. So also, um, I'm less just Spencer focused. I have to focus on the kids. I have to balance more. Yeah. Um, I think I was a very like, whatever, life is short and I'm going to do it a one and it's all good.

And that's like, oh my gosh, no. I need to like be a better long term. term. planner. I need to take other things in consideration. I need to be more. I've always been responsible, but within what I wanted to do kind of, you know. I don't know how to explain it, but yeah. Yeah. So a lot of things have definitely changed. Yeah. Do you have any other advice for first time moms, whether it's in regards to being a mom, in relationship, anything that I'm open ears. So I'll take whatever. Um, travel with the baby. When the baby is what three months old, it will be the easiest until they're not a toddler anymore. Take the baby to Hawaii. Go on the airplane, do the things

because they sleep on the airplane. All they do is sit there. They're not screaming and kicking and yelling and all like all these whole different levels. So travel with the baby, have the baby moon for sure. Like when you're pregnant and that like last few weeks that you can or whatever, just like take that time for you and Taylor, go to Hawaii, go somewhere. Yeah. And just like relax on the beach, take it in, have that moment. And then I would say also taking care of babies has changed my life. I did co-sleeping with my older son. And he just started being a good sleeper.

And he's eight. Oh, wow. So a lot of people like co-sleeping. Great. I did too until it ended up being a awful experience. Yeah. And he wouldn't sleep alone at three, four. and I can't sleep with him.

Like he wakes me up. He kicks me. It was impossible. So I did taking care of babies with my second kid. And I'm not judging anyone. All good. Whatever you do. But it was sleep hygiene because I didn't like to have the heart to do the sleep training.

Because I was like, I can't just let him cry. Like, I just can't do that. Yeah. And this was perfect. It was just about a routine. It was so helpful. I called the company. Like, even last week, I called the company.

But it was so informative and so helpful. So that changed my life. Okay. Because you don't realize how like when you have to work, you have to sleep. Yeah. If you don't have to work, great. You can just nap in the baby naps and do all that, which I did the first time. But I couldn't the second time.

I'm like, I got to be up. I got to be working. I need to do this. Like you got to take care of the second. The first one too. It's like, I don't have time. That first one, you can just have that be your whole world if you're, at home on.

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slash squeeze to enter and find full giveaway details, rules, and regulations. One thing that's really shifted for me during pregnancy is just being a lot more intentional about what I'm putting in my body. And I've definitely noticed myself paying more attention to ingredients, where things are coming from, and just wanting to feel confident in the choices I'm making day-to-day. And that's something that's really made me appreciate ritual. But they're essential for women prenatal, it just takes away the mental load of wondering if I'm getting the nutrients I need during this time. What I like is that everything is really thoughtfully formulated. They include key nutrients like coline, folate, and omega-3, and everything is traceable. So you

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Obviously, you and Spencer have been very vocal about losing your home in the Palisades Fire. And I'm really thankful for you guys being so vocal because I feel like a lot of people obviously I think people handle their grief differently but I was really moved by how vocal you guys have been through it and I can't imagine obviously going through that but then also being so like public facing during it I'd love to know kind of what what your journey with grief because this is you know when I feel like people think of grief we think of you know losing a human, but this is definitely like such a grieving period for you. How, how is your journey of grief and kind of rebuilding been like? They say it takes a year for grief, right, to really

like settle in your brain and your body and everything. And that's so true. That's definitely what I experienced. I mean, I cried on the way over here thinking about, I know, I get, thought about it, but just thinking about you work so hard, right, for everything in your home and you love everything in your home and it's so curated and your childhood things and just your children's things and their little clay pots they bring home and just stuff you can't get back, things you can't buy back. So it's challenging. It's been really challenging. You know, all of our friends live there. Our community Spencer grew up in the Palisades. He had been there his whole life. His parents lost everything. They lived in the Palisades still.

And yeah, it's just been really challenging. And there was just such a fake narrative about everyone's rebuilding and everything is great. And it's like, you're just lying. And that is so disturbing that you can just sit there and lie and say this community that is displaced, unhoused, is fine. There, we're like, over a thousand houses that burned down and there's only been under 20 that have been able to rebuild start rebuilding oh wow so that's devastating not to mention altadena and malibu that's not even counting those communities so it's just so infuriating when the government that we depend on and pay and count on just dismisses you and kind of makes jokes about it and puts it on this pedestal

like they're doing such a great job when they were responsible for it and not even taking any accountability was just so infuriating for us. And we are one of those, you know, like we don't have money to rebuild. We put all of our money into that house that we worked how many years for that we were, you know, did everything to have. And we had to have help with it. We had a mortgage on the house. And it was a small house. It was a 2,000 foot square house. But it was a 2,000 foot square house. was beautiful on, you know, on nature by this trail and this great community. And we lived there for the placement of the palisades and the safety of the palisades and growing up in a community where my husband grew up. Yeah. So it's just, it's still hard. You know, we have our lawsuit.

And hopefully in the fall or the upcoming year, we'll have some clarity on where that stands. Because I do think we have a really good case. And I do hope for us and for all the other that we win because what also people don't understand about that community is there were only recently the rich community that really moved in before it was a more affordable community and these houses were passed down through generations so you have a lot of elderly people who can't rebuild you have a lot of people who lived in their parents house I had friends who lived in their parents house with the grandparents you know like there were generations in one house but everyone was excited because it was in the palisades and it became this really rich community that it wasn't before

the village had was recent to that community as well yeah so that wasn't the heart of the palisades i feel like this is the first like tragedy that i witnessed but was somewhat like this was the closest I've ever been to something. I feel like we see the hurricanes on the news and that I see it, but I'm not connected to it because I don't know anyone really affected. But with this, I mean, we, I, I, we were out of this house for a week and a half because it was just, they were like, we don't know. I didn't have any power. And it was so many, so many of our friends lost their home. And it was one of the first times I ever, like, I remember crying to Taylor just like, because of, people like you guys and so many people just like losing your home is something that I feel like

is something that isn't talked about much because it's not that common to happen but it's the first time I was ever that close to something before and it really it really like struck a chord in me and I think I think it's kind of brought a lot of the surrounding areas together because even just driving down like PCH. Like I remember the first time I drove down it when it finally opened. I was like, like, I even still today, I'm like kind of like hit by it that it's crazy that it happened. But I thought it was so special that you guys were standing up and other people were like, no, this, no one's. But like this, this isn't happening actually. Right. Right. Because it's important because you never know. Like I only knew because I live here and I drive by it and I see it,

you know. Right. So I applaud you both really for doing that. How has it been for you? Obviously, you're a wife and a mom, and I really feel like that position in the household kind of keeps everyone together. How has that been for you trying to care for your husband and make sure, you know, he emotionally, just going through all of this and with your kids and still trying to find time with yourself to grieve and just have a moment of like, oh. I was doing it all at once. And, you know, I continued to because Spencer was so excited,

like, your songs are going viral and we're going to be able to rebuild and the community is getting behind us and, you know, we'll make enough money to buy another house. And all his hope was in the future of being able to rebuild and to make money. And I'm saying to him, it doesn't translate like that. I'm appreciative of like all the excited, the momentum. And I couldn't be more grateful and it couldn't be a better moment, but that's not what's going to happen. I was like, it doesn't, it's not the way it used to be in the music industry. It's pennies. I was like, honey, this is, it's a great moment and I'm so excited for it, but this is not going to rebuild our house. Like, this is not enough money to do that. I was like, I'll go through the motions and I'm excited because this is the

moment of my career I've been waiting for for 20 years or whatever. So I was so excited by it, and the highs were so high. And at the same time, it was so low because I'm scrambling to get my kids in school. I'm like, I'm re, I'm enrolling them. That's what I'm focused on. I'm focused on my three-year-old saying he's going to push our house back up and like, he still says that like every day. And he says like, oh, that hummingbird's house burned down or that duck's house burned down. And so everything is about like houses burning down. He's three. And he thinks it's somehow his responsibility to push our house back up and that he's strong enough. And he's like, I can do it, mom. I'm strong and off a let's go back. I'll push our house up. And so it's about helping them through it and

talking through it too and wanting them to feel those emotions and being able to have those conversations. And then at the same time, I was working the most that it was working and trying to find new nannies. And I don't trust hardly the nannies that I've had that have been vetted through agencies that I've got for five years. And like all of a sudden there are all these strangers in the house and having to leave them and in a new school. And then, you know, Spencer wasn't sleeping because he was so like, I got to keep pumping the music and this and I finally said to him, I'm like, you need to stop. I was like, seriously, you haven't slept in like a week and a half. You've had like an hour of sleep. I was like, if you don't sleep and

you don't start taking care of yourself, none of this matters. I was like, you're not, you need to like reset here and he was just in such shock and just felt so much pressure like my three-year-old to rebuild the house and to refocus on that and then for me I would just grieve in between dropping the kids off and you know just let myself like cry and pray and talk through it and you know trying to give myself a light at the end of the tunnel and and uh it's a lot it's a lot to balance it's a lot to continue to balance balanced and I am doing a lot better with it. It's still challenging. For sure. And, you know, it's just, it's kind of a life. I mean, not kind of. It's a life altering thing. And, you know,

when you see the hurricanes and stuff in Florida, you're like, ah, well, there's nothing, no anyone could have done. It's a natural disaster. You know, but this wasn't something that was a natural disaster. And that's what's so frustrating is that it could have been prevented, maybe not all the houses, but a majority of the houses. And the fact that there was no water and all these things that should have been put in place, that it was preventable, that they could have done the burn out, you know, like it should have been a parameter around the town. And that only cost a few thousand, a hundred thousand dollars or whatever to save the entire community. So it's just frustrating too when you feel like such a letdown also and yeah and then it's not helpful either

because you know it's just it is what it is at this point what do you hope people take away from your story i hope that people learn and you know and we had been talking about it but to defend your own home no a lot of the time people aren't going to come and save you i wish we had the hoses we were already talking about this preparation because of what happened in Malibu. And we were just talking to our friends who lost their house and we're like, okay, we need this mass. We need that. We need, you know, so just to prepare your own home and not to prepare on the state or the city, you know, same with like, protect home protection. Like protect yourself. The cops are how far away or whatever. Like we need to protect ourselves in this day and age. And just if you set yourself up

for as much success as you can, also to have a go bag. You know, I thankfully had our documents in a go bag. I didn't have enough of a few other things, but at least I had all of our documents, like our marriage certificate, our passports, our birth certificates. So that was helpful. And to just check, you know, your own places. But yeah, it's, you know, and people say it's just things and it's that it is. And it's not. So it's tricky. And I think if I had like so much money and I could rebuild and it would probably make it easier. Yeah. And so just to be like displaced and be like, that was my one home. I worked my whole life or, you know, that it makes it challenging. But, you know, and it is true and it's not true,

but it does put, I mean, it was already in perspective. I don't need it to be in perspective that life is short and you can't take things. And I already knew that. It's no. But yeah, I mean, through that, I even, I learned to, I have like all of our. keepsake stuff like in boxes and I have like a document bag because we've just I mean I've I grew up here so I've been you know evacuated many times thankfully you know nothing has happened but especially after palisades I was like this is where everything is like I should tell Taylor if I'm out of town I tell our assistant I tell my family like this is where everything is if anything happens this just needs to go in the car. Perfect.

So that's like something that I've learned and I think that will definitely help people moving forward. On a later note, let's talk about, let's talk about some music. I think there is something, like I want to know for you, like what role does music play for you? Because it's been something you've always wanted to have been a part of your life for so long. Like, what does making music mean to you? The music really got me through all of this. It gave me an outlet. It gave me a focus. It gave me a goal. It took me out of like a dark mode. It took me out of just being in mom mode. It took me out of just being in survival mode. So I cannot say enough really how grateful I am for every person who has streamed and everyone who has supported and like gave us such a light

and such a darkness and gave us such a focus and a drive. And it was incredible to have had that moment and it really was so therapeutic for me and being able to perform and having people cheering when I'm going out there and all these crowds and it just gave me such a light and it just made me be like okay everything's going to be okay and I just felt like so supported for the first time in my career and so to be able to have that and to be able to interact with these fans who had been fans for so many years I had people come up to me and said I actually saved their lives in high school because it gave them an outlet and that they had thought about killing themselves and that my album had saved their life and that put me in such a different

perspective too. And I was like, if my album could have that big of an effect on one person, that's what I made it for. You know, because so it was just so incredible to have the music and continues to be and continues to be such a blessing and a dream come true and a focus and give has given me re-life to a part of me that had been gone for so many years and the first time to be able to step into this role that was my biggest dream so it was like a phoenix rising really so great i'm i got to get out of these ashes and rise and and and be the the woman and the person and the mom and the wife that i'm meant to be even with this challenge and God's going to use it for good and I can move forward and it is what it is and I'm going to

focus on on the good. Yeah. You have any single coming out made first called Ivy Drip. Tell us about it what made you decide to come out with new music. Tell us about the song, anything and everything. I had been working on an album a year before the fires because I'll do it had such a huge international moment. It was like a billion streams in China. It was so big. in Asia, had a huge moment on TikTok, and I just felt the momentum of the music. And I was like, all right, I'm going to get back in the studio. Because I was always so mad at myself for spending so much money on this album. And I was like, I just threw so much of our money away. Should just put it in a house. Should have just saved it. Like, I had so many regrets over my

music because that was our main income that we got and we invested into my music. And I just felt like I kind of let us down, you know, because I was the star of it that we were investing in. Yeah. And it just, it had been such a sore spot for me for so many years. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to give it one more go. Like I never really, I never got to perform how I wanted. I didn't have the moment that I wanted. I'm going to get back in here. And Spencer was so supportive of it and like, help me get back in there and help me find the right people. And so then Heidi Wood came out. And that was great. It was number five on iTunes and top streaming and billboard and it was great. It was incredible. And then I was like, well, I'm going to work on the next

album. So this album is like escape, escapism pop. You know, it's like that dance, fun, sexy. Just brings you, brings out something else in you, you know, and that's what I love about music. And like Beyonce says, she has Sasha Fierce. And I really feel like I can channel that inner hotness. And it's also a good reminder. It's like, Okay, I'm also a hot woman with me. And I can do what I want. And I can go turn up and dance and whatever. And I'm not just a mom.

So it takes me out of like just being in mom mode, which is really nice for me. Nice for my husband. Nice for all of us. And so Ivy Drip is amazing. Nova May wrote it. And she's actually an incredible musician herself. She featured me on one of her songs, Tropicana Bar, which is really fun. So this is just one of my favorite songs off the upcoming album.

And it hits all the right places. And it is so good. It's actually addicting. My glam squad is begging me for it. They're like, when is it coming? Where is it coming? I love that. Yeah.

So the gays love it. It's incredible. It's one of my favorite songs. And it just really gives that pop dance escapism that helps you to turn up when you need to. Yeah. Well, what you were saying earlier, this makes sense about studying like, you said like Tate and Zara and like other people like that is like what you were describing like that like Tate has Tatiana and that's like that that's the same thing as someone obviously not a mom yet

will be and even before I was pregnant I always we I always like just wondered what what my life would look like after being a mom like would I still be able to like pursue the things I want to pursue and work and I've you know I never growing up I always just kind of and wanted to be a mom and a wife and stay home. But I, over the past five years, I've just, like, found this love for, like, working in my career and something that I never thought I would have. And I've always questioned, like, can I do both? So, like, you really just chasing your dreams and, like,

living this pop star dream out is so inspiring to, I know not only just me, but other women watching this right now because that's what we need. Like, we need other females going out and do it. this. Yeah, and it's about a balance. I always say I'm a full-time mom and a part-time pop star. Yeah. Because I am a full-time mom. Like I wake up and I give them breakfast and I'm there. I drop them up at school every day. I make sure to try to get back. I work when they're at school. And that's always great too. Like I try to do as much as I can get back, be there at the sports. Like I just, I had to cancel a whole day because there was a thing at school. And I was like,

shoot, it just came out. And he has, uh, his open night. And so I'm sorry, like, I got to cancel the whole day. And I felt so bad because I never cancel anything to. And it was like, full day of podcast, but I was like, I cannot miss. This is like the biggest thing of his year. Like, I'm so sorry. And clear Spencer's calendar, but whatever it was working there. Whatever I said to have. Yeah. So, yeah. So my priority is my family. And nothing will come over that. And I can also do the other things. Because sometimes you, as a mom, especially, with like two, you need a breath. Yeah.

You know, and it's like, okay, it's okay to need a breath, you know, like. And so I don't stop. I literally run from room to. Like my, my hair style today was like, girl, running. And I was like, who else is getting everything done? Yeah. I was like, do you see what I'm doing? Yeah.

Two sick kids at home, both fevers, crying, running from room to room, trying to sit in the glam, getting all my stuff done before this. I had to go and finish recording a song that's going to be that actually Zara Larson's producers wrote. Yeah, Margo wrote it. I'm so excited. He's done like so many of the songs. So any of Zara's songs.

But so I went there and that's why I was, I should have just come right from here. But I had to do that. And then I have dance rehearsal after this. Oh my gosh. And then, but I canceled half of it because then I have to get home to these kids who are not feeling good. So it's like, but I'm literally, I run from room to room. So I don't stop even Spencer says when I wake up from 6 a.m. until I go to sleep, which now I just upped my bedtime.

I'm like, I have to go to bed to nine. Yeah, that's good. I'm too tired. Ten is not on the list right now. It's so inspiring being, seeing women do, do both. And I love it. And I'm so excited for you and thankful in a sense that you are just like living at your dream because it's so, it's so inspiring to be.

And I'm like, I was telling Taylor the other day, like, I'm so excited to have a baby and like our baby to watch me. just be like a boss mom. Like I feel like I'm going to be inspired in a new way to, you know, work hard and have my kids one day, like, see everything that I've worked for and accomplished. And it reprioritizes everything. It's like, okay, what's important? What's not? It's a great filter having the kids too because time becomes more precious and limited

and it really refines your life. And it helps you to set your own goals and to focus on it. And one thing I've learned through this fire and through this process is it's never too late to have a dream come true. You know, I thought like, oh, that's never going to happen. I'm too old. You know, the moment's gone. I'm just all my dreams are gone.

But it's like, no, that's not true. You never know what life has around the corner and don't give up on your dreams and keep pursuing them. And you're never too old for something to transpire or something to happen. So you never know the next chapter that is ahead. And to go for it and just put yourself. out there. I love that. You took me in a church there and that moment. I was like, yes, preach it. I love that. Anything else fun and exciting you have coming up that you want to share?

Okay, I'm performing at Neon Skies July 18th and headlining under Kesha and Slater. So I'm so excited. I'm the third headliner. Gosh, what a day that is. I'm so excited. And I love Slater. I've known her for years. We're not like super close, but we've had a rapport. and so I'm a huge fan for her and very excited for her moment she's having. Obviously, really respect Kesha and I was on a billing under her last year in London, and now I'm one of the headliners under her. So I'm so excited and honored to be part of that night. And who knows what else is around the corner.

I just did the mass singer. That was great. Oh my gosh. I honestly feel like you had the cutest costume, too. You really did have the cute costume. I had a vocal entry that I'm still suffering from, so that kind of took me out. But I loved being on the show, and it was a really cool experience. So if you ever get that, just say yes.

Yeah. Okay. I'll be through it. I will. I love that. Well, thanks for coming and chatting. I'm so excited for you. And we'll link everything below.

So I go listen to your song and go see you headline. Thank you. And congratulations. You got this. You're going to be amazing. And yeah. Oh, also for the birth, like it sounds silly, but draw your birth. I did that and it happened.

Like, you know, I had like angels in the room and like I had a vision of the birth and, you know, like, just focus. Okay, great. I love a little arts and crafts projects. Perfect. I will do that. I love it. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.