The Squeeze - Huddy: Finding Therapy in Music

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

In this week’s episode, Tay is joined by singer and actor Chase Hudson, better known as Huddy! Chase opens up about what it was like growing up and how the bullying he faced led him to switch to online school, ultimately guiding him toward music as an outlet. He reflects on achieving massive online popularity at such a young age and how it impacted his mental health, including the breaking point that turned music into not just a career but also his therapy. Chase shares what it’s been like to open up more vulnerably in his music, walking us through the honesty behind his new single “Fragile” and how songwriting has helped him process his emotions. He also gives a peek into his first feature film, talks about the challenges of feeling dehumanized in the public eye, and explains why community, connection, and speaking openly about our struggles matter so much.Be sure to follow Huddy on https://instagram.com/huddy/!To learn more and buy tickets to our Mental Health Summit, visit: https://www.lemonsbytay.com/the-lemons-foundations-mental-health-summitTo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code SQUEEZE.Dogs deserve the best, and that means fresh, healthy food. Head to Ollie.com/SQUEEZE, tell them all about your dog, and use code SQUEEZE to get 60% off your Welcome Kit when you subscribe today! Plus, they offer a Happiness Guarantee on the first box, so if you’re not completely satisfied, you’ll get your money back.Right now LMNT is offering a free 8-count Sample Pack of their most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase. This is a great way to find your favorite LMNT flavor, or share with a friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/Squeeze. Right now, ButcherBox is offering all new customers free bacon AND ground beef in every box for the lifetime of your subscription, PLUS $100 off across your first 6 boxes. Go to ButcherBox.com/squeeze to get this limited time offer and free shipping always.To learn more about therapy with NOCD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15-minute call with their team.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. The kind of like dehumanizing thing that happens when people see people on the TV, on the phone. Having an honest conversation with somebody, you are 10 times more likely to remember that. Because everyone out there just wants connection. I feel like that people are yearning for community right now. Me especially, I like to connect to people. So when people try to like write me off as not a real person, it's like felt very, very, alone within my feelings.

Growing up, I just expected the world to give you the same kindness that you give others because that's what you've been taught growing up. And so I wasn't ready for what the world had for me. Even like after having a mental breakdown, it was like, yeah, then I was something that I hid from everybody else because I didn't want everyone to know that I'm actually

weak, you know? Or fragile. Yeah. My new song, Fragile, I'm kind of talking about bringing it back to who I am, which is a fragile person and a human being. And just reminding people that I'm human and I'm just like you and we all kind of go through the same things. Chase, welcome to The Squeeze.

Thank you guys for having me. Ooh, Chase, honey, you'll probably like interchange them between the two. But I'm so excited to sit down and chat. I feel like I've obviously seen you on the internet for quite some time. But I feel like you, I feel like over the past like year or so, you've really like transformed your social media. I feel like you are talking about your mental health and you're like really like being open and honest, which I think is super awesome.

So I'm excited to kind of dive into it today. Oh my gosh, dude. Me too. I think this whole process of where I've been trying to find myself on this journey of life, but also with music, is how can I tell my story and how can I be more open with people and find a way to connect with everybody through it? And so now that I'm able to release some music that's kind of about it, I'm able to talk about it so much more openly. And I love it. I love it.

I'm excited for you. Okay, so we start each episode off with this jar. It's a game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little question, I know it's funny. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there and read us the question, whichever one you are feeling. Hopefully it's not like a makeup question. I feel like going for the one on the top's not.

Not the vaude. Maybe I'll go with this one. Also on the top. But who goes? If you had a boat, what would you name it? Persephone. it's like you had that prepared. Yeah.

Why that name? She's the goddess of the sirens and singing. And so she would be the mermaid that I would be looking for in the ocean. Oh, wow. Okay, that's a good. We really had that. Okay, so obviously we talked about how you're really just starting to open up through your music and your platform. And we're going to talk about that.

But I love just like getting to know our guests a little bit more and kind of who, like, little Chase was growing up. What was growing up like for you? Growing up for me was really interesting because I had a mix of like the people that like loved me and were also really jealous and hateful towards like me even growing up. Like I started social media when I was in middle school. And so from like the beginning of middle school, I kind of faced people being assholes to me. And I was always just like, I was like five, two when I was young. It took me until I was 15 before I even like hit a grossberg or like drop my voice. So I was, I was dealing with stuff and being as short as possible can be and like as tiny. And I was just like this bundle of joy that was so naive and everyone was twisted like from an early

age. And so I think like growing up, I just expected the world to give you the same kindness that you give others. That's what you've been taught, like growing up. And, and so I wasn't ready for what like the world had for me. And like it tore me down, but also built me back up because it prepared me for what I could expect from L.A. So even when I had things like that happened to me when I'm out here, I expected it a little bit more. and I knew what to do with it. Yeah. But I think, like, growing up was cool for me

because I was super heavily involved also in sports. And I always wanted to do something creative. And when I realized sports wasn't for me, that's when I really started to lean into, like, the arts. But it was something that was almost, like, shunned upon. And in my hometown, it wasn't, like, the cool thing to be a theater kid or to be in music class, right? Yeah.

But now it is. Yeah. I love it. I know. I love that we're like finally starting to have that shift. It's really awesome. Do you feel like you struggled with your mental health as a kid, like being bullied and whatnot? For sure. Yeah, I got bullied from like sixth grade all the way up until sophomore year. I actually moved to online school as a sophomore so I could finish there. Because of bullying? Yeah, it just got really harsh for me in high school. And it was a combination of starting to get a little bit of fame and a little bit of money. And like where I come from, I come from

Stockton, which is like the second or maybe first, like most dangerous city in California. Yeah. And so I only were people asking me like every day for shoutouts, but then following it up for an insult. And then I had people like chasing me to class to try and steal my shoes, like things like that. People haven't experienced someone ever, like even making the slightest bit of money. So if you wore like a $200 pair of shoes, they would try to steal that shirt from you.

Yeah. It was really weird, like, kind of facing those kinds of problems because it isolated me. And I just kind of stuck with my friend group and was just like, I'm good with this. Yeah. And so I just kind of hid in the shadows in high school and it made me like really sad. So what I would do is I would go and I would just put my head down and just listen to music in class and just like try to resolve my feelings with music. Yeah. But it actually made it worse for me because I was into like really sad stuff at the time.

And so ultimately my parents were like, well, you're failing just about everything. We should probably take you out. And I found that I liked school a lot better when I was actually getting taught one-on-one. And with all the distractions, like growing up, I had like super heavy ADHD. And so it's hard for me to focus in school in general. So when I switched online, I started acing my courses because I could actually focus on what they were trying to teach. Oh, wow. That's awesome.

Right? Cool for cool that your parents like did that too and for you to like realize that because I have friends that kind of similarly like struggled in school but if you have ADHD it's the way school is structured I mean there is a lot of changes that are happening in schools now but like when we were growing up the way it is like if you have ADHD or some type of like learning attention impairment it can be really hard and it's not that you know you're struggling with the material. It's actually just like, hey, like my, like my brain can't focus right now.

Yeah, I could not focus on a test. I was usually like the last one to finish. Yeah. But it was just impossible for me to focus when I was a kid. And also switch to online school was like a big thing that I was talking about for like, the entirety of me being in high school, my parents didn't really want to because they're teachers. And so because they were teachers, they were like, no, you need doing the right way. Yeah.

But they realized the stuff that I was going. going through and ultimately, like, made a decision that they knew would have been good for me. Yeah. You said you were in middle school when, like, online started taking off? Yeah, when I started doing social media. So, like, I really hadn't, like, gotten, like, too many followers. And TikTok really wasn't a big thing back then. It was actually, like, considered fucking cringe to absolutely everyone.

Yeah. And so if they knew that I was doing it, they would just give me shit for it all the time. I would say, like, freshman years when things started. it to go like really well but I started taking a seriously like apparently eighth grade and and so yeah I had to deal with all of that especially like in middle school everyone uh cares more about popularity I think by high school it starts to fade yeah freshman year you kind you like care the most and then you start to care a little bit less throughout the years yeah um yeah everyone ends up with like three friends by the end of senior year you know what I mean yeah yeah I look back on high school and I feel the same

way like I feel like I knew in high school I had like a lot of friends in the sense of like I just knew everyone like I was involved in so many different things so I just like knew a bunch of people but I really only hung out with like three people like I really only had like a couple like close friends yeah and I think that's I think that's awesome like when you start to learn that you don't need to be everyone's friend that you like just have your like little circle yeah it's important to have that as well and to like know who actually like cares and we'll put in the time to you because, like, growing up, I thought being popular was was cool. And then it came to high school and I was like, oh, it actually just means nothing.

Yeah. And especially once you get out of high school, you're like, it's the most fraying thing ever because you realize none of it matters and you could have been like doing the things that you thought were cool, but you were too afraid to do in high school. Yeah. As an adult. And so, like, that's, that's been me. My entire adulthood has been me, like, trying all the things that I didn't try when I was a kid I was afraid. Looking back, like, when social media started taking off, obviously, a big thing that's talked about now is kids having social media at such a young age and with someone like you

that is in like the less than 1% that it actually like takes off for the mental health that comes with that because even grown adults deal with it. But when you are a kid and you're filtering all of these comments and all like this attention. and this video did better than this, and these people are saying this, and false things are being said, or someone has an assumption about you that isn't true. How was that, like, filtering comments and, like, hateful things for you?

Well, at first, it really messed with me, that people were saying things about me, and, I mean, I got it all. I heard it all. I had people try to come at me from every angle they possibly could. and I mean most of the things people have said about me aren't true there's just you know there's a million and one rumors that everyone likes to create but also like the the hatefulness in comment sections really like kind of sucks because you know you're trying to put on your best

self for the internet and um to like get taken back or kind of just derailed by the people that are like, oh, wow, your body looks this type of way or you look this type of way or your hair's ugly, you know, the smallest things. And you're like, wait, really? Because you kind of second guess it, but you really have to try to tune those things out in order to keep a level head. And that's like a really hard thing to do for most people. Yeah.

Do you feel like you have a healthy relationship with it now? Or was there a point where you kind of had like a breaking point and needed to set a boundary with it? I think the breaking point for me was trying to separate myself from giving too much of myself online. And that was really tough for me because I've always been an emotional person. But when I started doing music, I was like, there's no point to like waste my time trying to like give the world, like chase the person when I can kind of hide behind Heidi the persona. Yeah. And so with doing that, I ended up just kind of talking about my feelings through music.

But I think from going through so much judgment online about my feelings, like that was my breaking point, was people going out of the way to make fun of me, like just trying to express my feelings. And then finding music as a like therapeutic outlet for me kind of solved all those problems. Yeah. But now I feel like I can open up to people. through the music and that's become like a way for me to express myself again. Yeah. I like what you said about like chase the human and then like huddy the persona.

What is like the biggest difference between those two people for you? Well, I mean, part of me likes to have fun and do all these things. Like I would say there's a word called Ombever, which is an introverted. extrovert. Like, I can be super introverted, but I also want to be super extroverted. And I think that those two things are very separate in the way that I like to keep my piece, but I also like to get rowdy. And so I think that those different sides, my personality kind of fall into place with Hudi and Chase is, I can be like this, but then I can go, like, perform a show and not to still and just jump around and crowd surf and do something stupid.

Yeah. That's me at my like wildest moment, but I really like to, you know, have like a very calm, chill life. Like I, you know, I spend most of my time with my dog. Yeah. The best. I know that reminds me of Tate McCrae. Her like stage name she has for herself is Tatiana. Like when she's performing, she's like, that's Tatiana and like her behind closed doors. his tape. My drunk persona has been, Huddy the Hurricane. Huddy the Hurricane.

Oh my gosh. Hurricane, Huda, either one. But like, isn't that crazy? We all kind of have our own, like,

drunk persona if you think about it. Yeah. We all need a little alter. I mean, especially if you're like performing, I feel like it is almost helpful. It's like acting. You're like switching into a character in,

in a sense. Like, it's still you, but like you're performing and you're having to put on a show. Like, obviously it's not. you. Yeah. I mean, you're trying to convey the emotions behind the song. You're not telling them

your whole life story. Yeah. You know, um, so you're putting in that muscle memory of what that song met to you, uh, into this song in the same way. They're like, okay, right now, uh, like you say, you're acting. Like, right now you need to go to the darkest, worst breakup you've ever had and insert that emotion into, um, like this scene right now. You know, that's the same thing that you kind of have to go through with music as well. Yeah. of those things that definitely keeps a lot of us from going to the gym is really not knowing where to start with the equipment or if our workouts are really even working us out and doing something to our bodies.

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slash squeeze. I feel like I just saw this on social media, but did you just like film something? Yeah. Okay, can you tell me about that? So I just did my first feature film. How to Lose a Popularity Contest with Sarah Ways' class.

We were shooting in Vancouver. I heard that's where a lot of films go down. Yeah. But, yeah, we shot a really unique and cool rom-com that I feel like it's one of those 2000s hits mixed with, like, a little bit of, like, today's edge. It's just so cool. It's really well written. And I feel like I was playing a part of myself. Like, when I read the role initially, I was like, it sounds so similar to who I am as a person and, like, my trajectory.

into like what I do today yeah like um so I I really enjoyed doing that it was so just unique and and strange for me to um to do that because it was it was like what am I what am I doing with my life like it's so it was so crazy because I yeah had only done other one other thing in acting and it took us five days of film that but it took us like a month to do this and so I mean it took some training like you have to work out a bunch and you have to train with the coach and all these things that was like wow like this is yeah next level were you like wanting to do that again or how did the how did it come to be um well i expressed to um my agents at c a like when i signed with them i was like one of the things that i really want to uh dive into is i was acting and i it's like

another one of those things where i'm just like i i don't really know how to how to get into this or where I could start. And so they just started me with doing like a bunch of auditions. And I feel like I, um, you know, I got stronger through doing those auditions. Uh, and like I prepared myself for this moment. And when it finally happened, I was, uh, just really like relieved. I was like, wow, like I feel like I've been putting all this work and it finally got to, uh, pay off. Yeah. That's so exciting. I feel like Sarah, I mean, I don't know her. I want to know her. Sarah, we'd love to have you on this podcast just to see. side note um but she she just seems like the best person to like be in a new environment like

something that you know it's a new environment to having someone to kind of like act opposite of and just make you feel comfortable she seems like she would be that person my gosh yes she's so funny and she's got some of the like the greatest stories like i've ever heard and and she's just so sweet and she's also pre-hilely goddamn talented at what she does. And, like, getting to see her and her watch me throughout this whole process, she was really just happy because we all got to become friends throughout the whole process of this. And still, we're keeping in touch with, like, taking vacations together.

They went and saw my show in Seattle. Like, she flew out from Toronto to come and see it, which is, like, a five-hour flight. Like the dedication that all of us have taken now, take initiative of keeping connected and staying friends. Like I feel like I'm going to be friends of these people for years now because of just what a beautiful environment that we kind of created with this movie. And it was so much fun to work beside her. She was just a stellar actress. I love that. That's so exciting.

I'm excited for you. Thank you. I do want to touch on this because you've, you've kind of talked about, like, meeting fans and talking with fans and them, like, making comments like, I can't believe you're a real person. And the kind of, like, dehumanizing thing that happens

when people see people on the TV, on the phone, just like they see these people and they see them in real life. And it is just dehumanizes you in a way. What's been your experience with that? it's been really odd because I'll always see myself as like a very normal person but a lot of the people in the public eye kind of see me as you know this I don't know like personified kind of crazy person I don't even know how the public really perceives me because it's like you just live who you are you know but um seeing that happen in real life like people coming up to me and telling me like, oh my God, I can't believe you're real. Like half the people I meet will just come up to me. Like, dude, it's two nights ago, a Barney's some girl came up to me and threw a phone in my face.

It was like, no, honey. And then she just posted online. And I'm like, dude, this is crazy. This is the kind of thing. There's the person that will come out of their way to have a normal interaction with you to actually try to figure you out a little bit. And then there's the person that will come up to you and just blurt five words and walk away, not say thank you. like not even like acknowledge your existence that you are a real person yeah um and i think every day if you were to go into a scenario where you were having an honest conversation with somebody you

are 10 times more likely to remember that because it's like yes that's what this is about i would to connect to these people i want them to ask me a question they've actually like wanted to ask somebody like me or me specifically i would rather them have that than something where um you know it it just seems very fabricated and or like fake yeah um you know because everyone out there's just wants connection i feel like that people are are yearning for community right now and and me especially like i like to connect to the people so when people try to like write me off as not a real person it's Like even my new song, Fragile, I'm kind of talking about the idea that like bringing it back to who I am, which is a fragile person and a human being. And just reminding people that I'm human and I'm just like you and we all kind of go through the same things.

Okay, let's get into music. Let's talk. You kind of touched on music and music just being a part of your life growing up. How did you always like kind of wanted to explore or when did you just like? to actually take it seriously and pursue it? The thing is I always wanted to, and I just didn't have the tools or the resources to do it. Like where I grew up,

this didn't have an alternative music scene, and I always wanted to make alternative music. And so when I made it out to L.A. It was the first thing that I told my manager because we were having a, you know, the meeting, like, because she wanted to be my manager. So we were talking, and she said, what's your five-year plan?

And so I was like, so like I like doing social media it's cool but in the long run I really wanted to be a musician so if there's any way I could meet people in the space and kind of fill it out that would be great because it was all foreign to me yeah so I'd never even seen what a studio look like or how to write a song but when I was a little kid I always found an interest to writing songs yeah just never knew how to do it you know and I never played guitar um so once I had like the tools and the resources I I started writing music with the label just because they wanted to see what could happen. Yeah.

And then they fell in love with it and signed a record deal with me, which is really cool. But yeah, like it wasn't something when I was a little kid, I was too shy to be a performer. I tried out for one talent show and I didn't even get an email back to you'll be hearing from us. Oh, well. You'll be hearing from us. Totally, like, bombed it for sure. I sang in a world like this. by the Backstreet Boys.

It was like their comeback single and I was obsessed with it. That's so good. How are you on stage now? I'm so comfortable. I really started to get into it. The thing that's the hardest part about performing is finding what to talk about in between songs.

Like I can perform all day, just get to the music part. But in between, I'm like, you guys are people. Hello. Yeah. What do I say? And then I'm just like, New Jersey. You know?

Yeah. A lot of the times, you know, songwriters will talk about how writing songs is really therapeutic for them. And it is like such a release. How has that creative process been for you? Music sessions are therapy sessions. So you walk in there, they're like, what's been going on in your life? I'm like, oh, dude, I just want to Paris. No, no, no, no.

Yeah. Tell me the dark shit right now. I need to hear the actual things that have been going on your life. I'm like, well, there has been this one thing that happened recently and that'll start the conversation of like really what you want to talk about within a song and I mean most music

if we look at it just in a broad scale probably like 90% of it's sad and especially nowadays but also with alternative music like the best music you can make is is heartbreak music yeah yeah like I remember my friend Motson told me he's like the being in love sucks because you can't write any

great songs about it yeah it's like the hardest music to write is a song about being in love yeah but it's been a huge release for me to talk about um the things that I've gone on in my life I've made this album all about telling the story of uh who I am and what I've gone through because my last album my debut was just about the relationships of my life and how um it's a all a process that I can kind of see coming because I've been through the highs and the lows and this is how it goes. And like that's the whole, you know, album. But with this one, it's like, this is who I am as a person and the things that I've like really gone through outside of relationships. Yeah. And yeah, and like how it's formed me as a person today. Is that like in the beginning,

was that exciting for you? Was that scary for you being vulnerable? Like what made you actually be like, I'm comfortable to do this? I think the more vulnerable you can get the better the material that you can get and I realized that after I wrote my biggest song called All the Things I Hate About You And when I wrote that song I was like oh so there's literally no limit

to what you can write about in music and just kind of open up this door of like if I'm being more like whether it's relatable or whether it's like honestly with people that that is the thing that people are going to relate to the most and find something that they can relate to you on is when you are telling them something that you've gone through

that people can either interpret or have gone through very similar situations. Yeah, that's been like my biggest thing with this podcast is the amount of people that have come up to me. It's actually really funny because Taylor mainly gets people coming up to him talking about the podcast now. and like more than movies and stuff. And I think it just shows like, obviously he's a great actor and I'm obsessed with everything he's done. But like it just shows that relatability.

Like it's a character he's playing. But when him and I sit down and, you know, we're talking about what's going on in our marriage, it gives people kind of like something to relate to in a sense of like not just a character, but actually like what someone is going through. And I think that's like, been a big focus over the past couple years with like how a lot of people you know show their

art or how they do their work whatever it is and what you said at the beginning like we're all really needing community that is like the biggest thing I preach because that I think going through COVID and everyone being so isolated it actually made us realize how important like having connections and relationships with people are and being able to relate to people yeah absolutely like COVID really brought everyone together and I viewed it as a time where everyone got to focusing on something that they want to be their next life endeavor like they had enough time to think about what is the pivot for me in these next five years for me it was music and it gave me the perfect outlet to find the time to make music and I mean it's it's really cool that

like you guys have gone out of your way and really put together at this podcast and also made it about mental health which is something I think more podcasts should be talking about. So I think some of the stuff that you see nowadays, it feels like a lot of comedians and not a lot of realness going on right now. And so I think people should be talking about their feelings as often as they can, you know? It helps people through some dark times. Yeah. And it's crazy because, like, for me opening up about my feelings, I feel so much less scary. Like, I would rather talk about my secrets than, like, film the inside of my house. Like, like, it's this weird, like, catch 22 type thing.

Like, that feels, like, showing the inside of my home feels more private than, like, me actually sharing, like, what's going on in my brain. Right. Which, I don't know if most people feel that, but I feel like with this career path that I've chosen, it helps. Because I'm just like, I'm going to talk about it. But also I think just because so many people have like when people come out to me and they're like this podcast saved my life, I'm like, great. I actually need to keep like talking and keep like sharing things and being vulnerable because that somehow is helpful. So I'm just my goal is to keep chatting and hopefully it keeps doing well. Oh, absolutely.

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with their team. That's N-O-C-D.com to learn more and book a free 15-minute call. Okay, let's dive into your new single. You touched on it a little bit, but I'd love for our lemon drops, that's our listeners, that's their name, to hear a little bit more about where the idea of the song came from, you kind of touched on it. It is like very honest and vulnerable. Well, the day that I were real fragile, it was like raining outside and I was going through a really tough time. Feeling like I couldn't open up to people about my feelings. I felt very alone within my feelings.

And I felt like I couldn't tell my friends, like the things that I was going through. It felt like it was getting to a tougher point to talk to my people. parents about it and I was even kind of avoiding like telling my therapist certain things and um same with the the relationship that I was in prior we I just came to a point where I wouldn't even tell her the kind of darkness going on inside my head because I viewed being uh vulnerable as like weakness in that time and that's just completely not true and I think going through the process of writing this song was just, you know, bringing the idea back to life that we are all emotional beings at the end of the day, whether we like to be or not, whether it's some guy out there

that thinks he's an alpha male, like, you know, like at the end of the day, like, they'll let anger and frustration kind of take over their brain instead of sadness and hopelessness and despair, you know. because people try to find fixes all the time but really like finding like peace within like your own tension in your life is is what you know helps you get through those things you know you can't just work your way around it and I think you definitely can't bottle it up either yeah so like the point of the song was really to just kind of talk about how I would keep it all in and how that was just slowly beating me up and making me feel like deteriorated and just pulling me down.

So for a while, like that was kind of the dilemma that I was going through and writing the song kind of helped me through that dilemma because I wasn't able to find an understanding for it until I wrote it. And now it's just a constant reminder to me and to everyone else that it's okay to feel and go through things. And the other thing is, is like, right, like you have to. to put on a happy face even though you are staying busy. Like I had a really bad mental breakdown in Nashville while I was on tour.

I had a week left to tour, but it felt like that week for me was super shitty because I played some shows that I felt like weren't my best. And sometimes in like the middle of America, like the crowds, like they don't go as as hard as some of the places on the East Coast or the West Coast. and I just didn't feel the love like for a few nights straight and that's not even to say that they didn't love the performance or whatever it's just the idea that I'm this like perfectionist that wants to make sure everything goes smoother according to plan

and not feeling like I was getting there and so I got off stage and I was kind of bummed about it but then I watched my friends go out and also play, and they kicked ass and everyone loved them. And I was like, why do I feel like they didn't like me? Yeah. And so I started having this, like, deep conversation with the band I was touring with Beauty School Dropout, the guitarist's dad.

He was talking to me about how you have to keep putting on these shows because this is what makes everything worth it once you've really sold out, like a huge, huge room, and you start to really get there for yourself. Like, that's when things will start to make sense because you've got to go through like the tough shows to have the amazing shows, like down the line. And so also dealing with that while you have zero privacy on tour, it was really tough because then I ran out of there like a little girl and I was crying in front of 50 people. Also, I had no friends in Nashville and we were doing with a bunch of people that just have so many friends in Nashville.

I was like, no one. Like, I don't know anyone in any of these cities I'm touring in. So I was beating myself up about all of those things all at once. And then I had things going on with work. And you can't hide from that. And if you have no one to talk to about it, then it just kind of just drives you a little crazy. I feel like the only person I could talk to about it was my parents,

which was very helpful, honestly. But even like after having a mental breakdown, It's like, yeah, then that was something that I hid from everybody else because I didn't want everyone to know that I'm actually weak, you know, or fragile. Yeah, very punny. Very funny. What's the biggest thing you hope people take away from the song? I hope people can just look at the song, whether it's a song that makes them feel or feel seen. You know, I want people to look at any of the songs that I'm releasing and, you know,

Not just say, oh, that was a good song, but kind of be able to take something away from it. Because I try to, like, write these songs as, like, baby stories. Yeah. And almost like a scene in the movie where you, I guess, with Fragile, it's like one of those, like, breakup scenes, you know, like the sad turning point where they're, you know. This summer I turned pretty, like, went and they have that, you know, that recent episode where...

Don't get me started on that. where Conrad was on the beach confessing his love and she just breaks his heart. Yep. That's what fragile is meant to be. Yeah. Cinema. I've just filmed an episode with my girlfriends and we literally talked about summer interpreting the entire time.

The entire time. I completely understand and can see that song playing in that moment. Right. We talked about earlier kind of like this Chase Huddie thing. Right. What has it been? like for you to learn like who your authentic self is and just really being like where you're at in life.

I think the authentic side comes from doing what's natural to you. Like I think if you're trying to be somebody else, it's harder for you. If you don't dress like yourself, you don't feel like yourself. If you don't look back at a conversation and say, oh, I said everything in that conversation that I would normally say to another stranger. then you're not being authentic to yourself. Yeah. I especially see that within music.

I will never release something that I feel like my heart's not fully in. Yeah. And I think authenticity just comes from doing what you want to do with your life and not because you want validation or somebody to say you look cool. You know, like you will attract the people that you need or want in your life by being who you are. You know, I learned that in high school because I went from feeling like I was trying to fit in to start to wear shirts with Justin Bieber's face on it in sophomore year. And then that was like that turning point where I was like, I don't really care. They're like, oh, that's so lame to you wearing Justin Bieber.

I'm just like, hell yeah, and I love it. Yeah. And that attracted like my friends that were also into Justin Bieber at the time. They were like, it's so sick. I'm going to get that shirt too. Yeah. And they did. That's something that I'm really thankful for. For some reason, I was just always very content with myself, like, who I was.

I think that's also because I'm an only child. And my mom, like, just, like, hyped me up all the time. No way. What was that like? Being an only child. Yeah. I don't know. Was it very quiet where your parents, like, home all the time?

I mean, I guess it was quiet at some points, but more. more so, like, because I'm the only, even like my cousins, I'm the only one that's like my age. So my cousins, they're like 10 years older or 10 years younger. So I think it made me mature fast, which I think is also why high school, like, wasn't, like, in the sense of knowing who I was, wasn't as hard because I kind of already like had it figured out in a degree. But I, I mean, I was also like at daycare all the time because both my parents worked. And then I, in high school and junior high, I danced. So I was always at dance.

Oh, that's sweet. My grandpa was a, or my grandma was a daycare girl and my other grandpa. He was like an art teacher. So like they like the little dynamic. But I always had like cousins in my same age bracket. So it was, it was nice for me. I feel like you'd have to like, I don't know. It's so weird to grow up around people that are so much older than you, I feel like.

Yeah. Well, one I realized though, like when I became an adult, I was like, I like people that are 10 years older than me because they have, like, advice that I can really take and I actually want to, like, listen to them. Like, the people my age, we have the stupidest conversations ever. For sure. But, you know, it's what being young's about. But I think, like, I owe a lot of my childhood to my two sisters.

Like, they, the second I walked in in a middle of school, she's like, you're not walking in like that. And your hair's definitely not going to look like that. And I was like, okay, what should it look like? And so my sister did my hair. hair in the first day of middle school. And I stuck to this dress code that she got me, which was flannel's blue jeans and converse. And that was my like uniform for a long time. And then my oldest sister, I credit my music taste to her. And actually a little bit my other older sister as well because she put me onto one direction, which was life changing for me because then I could wrap my head around.

It was the first time I could wrap my head around what being famous was. Yeah. And it really was like, I watched the One Direction movie because my sister dragged me and her best friend's other brother. And so we all, the four of us went and watched the movie and it just changed my perspective on music as a whole. Because the only country like concerts that I had ever been to, because my parents would drag me to country concerts and I was younger. And so I was like, this is cool, but people just want to, like, dance. They don't really care. They're just here to drink beer and have fun.

Yeah. You know, but that's not what any of the other genres are like, like, especially their concerts. Yeah. You know? How many sisters do you have? Two. And they're both older? Mm-hmm.

Are you still close with them? Yeah, yeah. Super close. My other sister, she came to one of my shows. She lives in D.C. with her boyfriend now. And my oldest sister, she's married and she's got two of the cutest cats ever. But yeah, no, I'm very close with all of them. And I feel like if I were to call them right now,

it'd be like we, you know, even if you haven't spoken in months, it would just pick up right where it left off. Yeah, that's great. I want to talk about relationships for a moment because you kind of touched on it. Specifically breakups, but both romantic and friendships, because friendship breakups,

I actually feel sometimes can't even be harder than romantic breakups. especially if you've been friends with someone for so long. You've obviously been through both scenarios of it. Right. What have you learned about healing and moving forward after the ending of a friendship or of a relationship? I think you have to study the five stages of grief and see how you can relate them to letting go of people in your life. Like, I would say that losing a friend is like a slow burn. And it happens slowly over time.

Like you kind of, you try to stay in touch, but you can feel the distance kind of happening, and you still try to hold on to what's there. But then you have to skip the three or five steps of grief and make it to acceptance. And once you're able to do that, you can find peace in it because if you can learn that the people in your life are meant to be in your life, and if they aren't going to put in the effort, they might not be meant to be in your life. Yeah. You know, even if you've been.

friends with them for six years like learning to um let go of the idea of who you guys were in the beginning of that friendship you know whenever it was at its peak i think it's the same thing that you kind of look at um in the slow burn of a relationship fading away you look at them how you first met them but you also see the good bad and the ugly uh when you um look at a relationship you have to look at it in the present time you know you can't look at it as like what it used to be because What is it right now? Like my friends aren't calling me. I have friends,

for like seven years. I consider like my closest friends. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't, nothing. And so I think when things get that stale, you have to recognize that and accept it. And with a relationship,

I mean, you're always trying to hold on to the good that might be left in it. And for me, I'm a peacemaker and I'm a, fixer. Like I want to make sure that the relationship still has its foundation, that it's good, it feels fresh and fun, and that, you know, you guys are both equally having a great time. But I think you also have to look at it for what it is because for me, I hold on to the idea of like what it was in the beginning. And I'm always trying to like get it back to like that square one point of like why we're in this in the first place.

I think that negativity can outweigh that positivity. And when things get really rough like that, you have to look at things for face value. You know, when you're in an argument, you have to take them for their word, and especially if they don't apologize. But if they do, you know, then, you know, all right, you're fine. But, like, you know, take that as like, also, like, this is the argument I'm going to be having for the rest of my life with this person. person, you know, if they really hurt my feelings now, imagine what they would do 10 years later down the line. And I think there's such a delicacy with things like disagreements, like you have to treat your other half like they're your fucking baby, you know, in a sense, like if you go too hard on them,

that's going to be something that's hard for them to erase from their mind. if you're someone that yells or says things out of pocket, you have to learn how to correct those mistakes. And sometimes it's hard to acknowledge those post-argument too, that you do things like that. But I think it's something if you guys want to keep a healthy relationship, you have to acknowledge all those things. Yeah, it's so true. And like going into, like, if you genuinely care about the person going into an argument

or a disagreement, not trying to make, like, jabs at them because you know it'll hurt them. Like, going at it, like, hey, I'm upset and I'm going to voice. I'm upset. But, like, I want you to hear me and I want you. Like, I'm not going to, like, make a dig at you just because I'm upset. Like, I'm actually going to just express to you how I'm feeling that is, like, super important. I would fall to my knees and start crying if a girl treated me that nice. That's, I mean, yeah, easier said than done, but I also think, like, Tantling.

like Taylor and I being together for as long as we have. Like he's very, he's very direct when he's upset and he'll like voice it. And I'm like, I'm better now, but I grew up being the least confrontational person ever. Like we didn't talk about problems in my family. Like,

talking wasn't like a thing like that. So when Taylor and I first started dating, I was like, I would get like freaked out like not in like I'm going to run away, but like scared like he was like being aggressive. Not aggressive. Aggressive is not the right word. But he was like,

He was just like being so direct with me and I was like, what is going on? Like the world is ending. All of the alarm bells are sounding. Like we're breaking up. He doesn't love me anymore. But in actuality, he's literally like he's fine. He was just hurt by something I did and he's asking me what my intention was behind it and whatever it is. But learning that is how Taylor reacts and then him having to learn that I like don't speak and like go mute for like a couple hours.

And then I'm like able to process what's going on. we both have really had to learn that. So I think if you're in a relationship, like really trying to learn how the other person communicates, it takes time, obviously. But that blew my mind because I'm very similar

in situations like that where sometimes I will go mute because I don't really know like how to solve a situation in the moment and then like a lot of the times like, you know, you get in more trouble by being mute, but it's like, no, I really need to wrap my head around,

like, what you're trying to say and come back with, like, something that I can, you know, figure out or change about myself, you know? Like, if there's something wrong, I always want to see it for what it is and try to make the adjustments how I can. Yeah. But I like to deal with things in a very comfortable manner.

You know, I don't like arguing. I'm like, I, hate confrontation more than anything because I think that, um, the other thing that really sucks is if you were to get an argument with somebody, say it would be two, three hours, you're not going to get anywhere until you can sit down and start to talk to them like,

like, yeah, they're your partner, you know, if you're yelling at each other, you're never going to resolve anything until you have the peaceful conversation afterwards. Yeah.

That's when I've solved every single thing. That's why I feel like sometimes me being you, I'll tease Taylor. I'm like, it's actually helpful because we're not having a heated argument. You have time to simmer down and I actually have time to like compute what I'm saying and then we can have a productive conversation. Exactly.

Instead of just like going back and forth for a very long time. Yeah. Because that's not productive. No, not at all. At all. Looking back at your past relationships, what has it taught you about yourself? I think to be patient and kind and to really, you know, cherish every moment of a relationship.

And I think you have a lot of happy life lessons that you learn from relationship. And I think you have a lot of tricky, like life lessons you have to learn with a relationship, especially like kind of getting out one at first. It's, it's a tricky path. You know, you're not always, you're never prepared for it, actually. Like, it's not something that you ever really want.

That's always the hard part is, getting out of a relationship and and returning life to normal and and figuring out life by yourself but i i i've really learned um how to come into my own person and to just be um a lot more independent because i've lived with my friends my whole life yeah i and after i lived with my friends i lived with my ex for for two years and so i still had somebody to live with to like have a shoulder to cry on and somebody to take on life with. But now living alone has taught me a lot about myself and what I want to do and what I want to prioritize and how I can take charge of everything going on in my life. But I mean, I've learned from those relationships to really, it taught me how to

understand a girl and a relationship and how to treat a girl and how to, you know, diligently handle a relationship. And I was something that, like, when I grew up, I feel like I always had these, like, fake relationships that were never really, I think, they were, like, last, like, a month, you know, high school BS. But then, like, out here, like, I've, I've been in I love twice. And each time that I've been in live, love, I've learned something really valuable. It's a good thing. Yeah.

I'm excited for this, like, next chapter for you because I think community is important, but I think having some alone time could be, like, not beneficial, but helpful because my girlfriend recently, she was in a relationship for eight years, and they separated. And she was like, this is the first time I've ever, like, had to think. think about like I get decided what I want to eat for dinner like what I want to watch like just like being like autonomous in a sense. I think it's important for especially people like us who like to be around people and you know always need that like it's important for us to like learn that we can do it on our own so that it's not other people that we're relying on it's us. Yeah. Yeah I think I've like kind

of with the conversation we were having me before I'm more of a codependent kind of guy. Yeah. So to become super independent has just like helped me be miles ahead of the curve for myself. I feel like I'm learning myself at such a rapid pace that it's something that I feel like I definitely wasn't focusing on expressing when I was, you know, in a relationship. I ignored like my love for like video games or certain old movies I like to watch 47 times. Yeah. And then, like, you know, like old TV shows. Like, I got back in the anime and all these little things that I like to do,

like one of my favorite dishes to cook is a fetichini alfredo. So that, like, that's one of those things. Like, I hadn't cooked that in fucking four years, you know, something like that, you know, where you just kind of go back to either what you know or what you haven't tried out and you're able to find yourself in the mix and and refigure yourself out. Yeah. Okay, last couple of questions.

For you, I'd love to know what you're most proud of yourself for. I'm most proud of myself for never quitting. I think quitting is when everyone that's been rooting against you in your life finally wins. And, I mean, people have always tried to kind of knock me down or discreet. credit me for what I've done in my life and for me to do all these things that I do. I juggle a lot of things all at the same time. Like, yeah, being musicians like 100% where my heart is, but then I'm going and trying acting and feeling like I'm doing a great job there and also been modeling for six years and feeling like I'm doing a good job there. Like I feel like if I'm

continuing to put myself in the places that I really care about and do things like that authentically without giving up like that's that's something i can say i'm super proud of for myself doing at the end of the day because i when i was younger i doubted myself on doing any of these things so like growing it up and and starting to do all the things that i thought were so cool when i was a kid is something that I feel like I'll hold on to and cherish you know I'll be able to look back

when I'm older and say I'm proud of myself for the career that I have put on like I would never change anything that I've done throughout my career I love that. Okay last question for you is if you can go back to one moment in your life what would that be and what would you tell yourself?

If I were to go back to one moment in my life it would be like right before before I moved out to LA and it would just be kind of a reminder to not be so hard on yourself and to just trust that one day it's all going to work out and that I'll be going through all of these really crazy trials and tribulations to let them know like you've got a crazy ride ahead of you but it's going to make you a better person and you got to know that while you're

going through the weeds that you're going to make it out. a stronger person. Yeah, I love that. Well, thanks for coming and chatting with me today. Yes, absolutely. Thank you for having me. We'll leave a link down below for people to go check out your single. But I'm excited for you and all that life has for you to come. Thank you.

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