The Squeeze - Iris Kendall: More Than What You See

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

In this week's episode, Tay sits down with content creator and Love Island USA alum Iris Kendall! Iris shares what life looked like before reality TV and walks us through what Love Island actually is and what her experience on the show was like. She opens up about what the show revealed about herself, what never made it to air, and what she wishes people understood about mental health and reality TV. Iris gets candid about her mental health journey, including her OCD, ADD, and anxiety diagnoses as a child, the warning signs she watches for when she needs to take care of herself, and what made her want to talk to a professional after the show. She also talks about her relationship with social media, how she deals with hate, how she balances her relationship and friendships with being online, and navigating people who come out of the woodworks after being on a show. Iris wraps up by sharing what success truly looks like for her.Be sure to follow Iris on https://instagram.com/iriskendall/!To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Go to tempomeals.com/squeeze for 60% off your first box.Go to OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code squeeze.Find your nearest Ross at RossStores.com.Visit facefoundrie.com and use code SQUEEZE for 20% off your first service.Shop Honest on Amazon, Walmart and Target.If you’re in the infant stage or know someone who is, you have to check out the MomcozyNight Pro Bottle Warmer or the DeepClean Bottle Washer D8. They’re offering 10% off if you go to momcozy.com and use code SQUEEZE for 10% off.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Prior to being on reality TV, what did mental health look like for you? I didn't really like prioritize it as much, but I always feel like I definitely had struggled with my mental health and like communicating it because I'm sometimes a bad communicator when it comes to like my feelings or my thoughts. I'm the type of person where I just don't really like want to hurt other people or be a burden to other people. Why am I going to make my issues like someone else's problem?

But now I really prioritize it and I find ways to protect myself from feeling stressed out. When I was like probably five, I was diagnosed with OCD. I would like wash my hands so they were red and bleeding. That was my thing. And then it turned into a different thing. One of the things that I kind of went viral for was my pout, but that's like a tick that I had. Honestly, like I'm still struggling with that. But I can't help it.

When I was younger, it was like way worse for me. Like I would like blink a lot. I also like touch my nose a lot. Like I just do like things that you would not know, but like I know that it's like my thing. I couldn't wear socks with like the line on the toes. Tags out of the shirt. I didn't wear dresses because I didn't like how the air would feel. I couldn't wear jeans.

So growing up, I literally wore sweatpants as a kid. I went to doctors and they were like, she needs to be put on this medicine. Would you say you still struggle with it mentally or does it ever come back? This is crazy because I actually never talked about this before. Okay, so since we're in September, does that mean summer's over? I am ready for it to start cooling down. I mean, mentally, I have been just locked into fall and the pumpkin spice lattes and football season and cozy and just all of the moody vibes. And I'm ready for it. I don't know if you guys love summer, but I am a fall girl. I love the autumn time. It is my

favorite time. And I am excited that it is finally here. And I'm equally as excited about today's episode. I actually know her from a personal work experience, which we talk about in the episode. But Iris Kendall is my guest today. I think most of you would know her from Love Island. I actually don't watch Love Island. So it was really fun to just get to chat with her without having any preconceived notions about who she might be or why she might act a certain way. and she is one of the sweetest people to sit across from me in this studio. Of course, I had to have her break down for me what exactly happens on Love Island and how it all works because I have only watched a couple episodes of it.

So she really dove into that with me. We talked about what it was like for her entering a show, knowing that things can be edited a certain way and how she feels a part of her never fully made it on to tell. She opens up with me for the first time I think she ever has. We really dove into mental health. She opens up about her ADD, OCD, and anxiety diagnosis, which have been a part of her life since childhood. We talk about how her OCD has changed since she was a kid and how that looks like now today and how with everything going on, she prioritizes her mental health. We also talk about what it's like for her to be in a relationship in the public eye.

Her and her boyfriend met on reality television and are still dating, and I really wanted to know how she and they as a couple navigate what they share and what they keep private. She was very honest with me about when Love Island came out, how people started kind of coming out of the woodworks, and how some of her friendships started to change. She shares with me what success looks like for her now and what her dreams are moving forward. At the end of this episode, we really share a sweet moment together, and I adore Iris so much. She's such a gentle human, and I'm excited for you guys to learn more about her and her story.

And even if you don't watch Love Island, you're going to hear some really great advice from a very sweet human. Well, Iris, welcome to the squeeze. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to get to chat because I feel like unlike most, I don't know you from reality TV, which you think is fun. We actually got to meet doing a fun mental health event. So I'm excited to sit one-on-one with you and just chat more and have our lemon drops, which are our listeners.

Good to learn more about you. Me too. All that fun stuff. Okay. So we start each episode off with this jar. It's a little game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a piece of paper out of there. This one?

Yeah. Okay. What's a completely useless talent you're oddly present? proud of cracking backs and knuckles. The way I cannot wait. I was going to say the way I cannot wait to get cracked. No, the way I cannot wait to lay on my stomach and have my back cracked. Yeah, I love that. I'm just like, I've, that's something that I miss most. I literally love to get like my bones cracked. It's so good. I do. I just like so, like, also I have like really bad back pain. So sometimes I'm like moving or like my neck is moving. Was that your back that just cracked or was that the chair?

It was probably my back because I'm telling you like I think it's like an anxiety like thing as well because whenever I get like really stressed out I always like have to crack my knuckles. I've always been like that like in high school. I would just sit there and like you know it's like a nervous like tick. Yeah. Yeah. So like I would always like crack my neck and stuff and now everything is just like really loose. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think about mine. I don't know what mine. Like something you just subconsciously do. I was just talking. I was just talking about. talking to someone that, I guess it's not a talent, but like a fun fact is like my Delta medallion status is like one of my most priced positions. So like it's not really

talent. I just, that means I fly too much and spend too much on my credit card. So, what do you get when you like go all the way? Just like perks and things. Yeah, like you get into the like access to the Sky Club for a year. You get you could, it's called choice benefits. and you get to choose between like there's like three different categories and that some of them are like worth different points so you can like gift someone medallion status or you can get like regional and out of country upgrades. Wow. It's really. So you can like sleep. Uh-huh.

Yeah. It's really something that I pride myself on as you can tell because I just explained the entire process to you. Yeah. Maybe that. I think that would be my talent, but not talent. Sweet. Okay, well let's get into it. I want to know we were just kind of talking about it before, but what did life look like for you prior to reality TV? Did you always kind of see yourself wanting to have a public facing career? Honestly, no, I didn't. I just really kind of took a chance and like went on the show because I wanted to find love and I wanted to find a boyfriend. And, you know, you go through like all these tests just to get onto the show or just to even like talk. to someone before you fly out. And there's so many different steps. And they kind of told me that

beforehand. Like there's different steps that you have to take. And I just kind of was like, I'm going to find my person in here because we do psychological tests. There's like even like blood tests and like all the stuff. So I'm thinking like in my mind, there's a piece of the puzzle that's going to fit. Yeah. And that is really cool to me that I got to be a part of like a really awesome social experiment. Wow. And there was some, you know, I have a boyfriend from just being on the show. And like, you know, it's kind of like a really fascinating thing.

But obviously I knew that there was going to be like a social media presence that came along with it. But I don't think like I expected like the extent and of all of this has happened. Yeah. Yeah. For someone like me or a lemon drop that's not listening. who doesn't watch Love Island. What is like the premise of what is it?

Like obviously it's a dating show. But like if you were to describe it, like what's happening? Okay. So basically there's a group of there's boys. I think there's like five boys and five girls. And you get you enter the villa and they meet. And then they have to immediately couple up. And then there's bombshells that come in to try and like kind of stir up the

connections because I guess like and you kind of make your own some people like can make their own like way like they could decide like okay do I want to explore or do I want to stay with that person and then sometimes things are messy or sometimes things I mean most of the time it is because it's a reality TV show like come on but um that's kind of the premise and then there's Casa more so when you're like that's towards the end so when you're already locked in with the people that like you've been like sleeping in a bed with and like kissing during challenges and talking to 24-7 mind you you don't have a phone you can't call your family you're just you the producers and the people that you're in there with and that's all you could talk to and um there also is a

I think it's a like an on-site therapist too that I don't know you don't know the time you don't no time either. They don't have clocks. So you kind of have to like, you don't know how much you're sleeping sometimes. Oh, wow. And yeah, it's actually crazy. So you do get very close to people fast. Yeah. And when people go home, it seems like they're like never, you're never going to see them again. Your new reality is just you being in this like house. So, and you kind of forget about the outside. And the cameras are all hidden. So it's not like there's cameras in your face. Yeah. And yeah, It's 24-7 recording you. Mike's on 24-7.

The only time you take your mic off is if you shower. Yeah. And it's still on, but you're just in the shower. And it's just like off your body. Was that when you first went in, like, because, like, what are you feeling when you first go in? Like, is it nervous? Yeah. I've never been on TV before.

I did like some modeling, but never anything like this. And so I was so freaking nervous. And I just remember walking in there. and I totally blacked out. And I just, it's bombshell. I was a bombshell. So I came in like to explore the couples that were already kind of locked in. And I was just so nervous.

It was kind of freaking out. Oh, my gosh. No, I can't even imagine. And I'm, I bet sure there's an element to it of knowing that everything that happens isn't necessarily going to be aired. like it is edited to some degree. Watching the show back, like before the show came out, I guess, where you, like, nervous about that? Was that, like, a thought for you that they could edit things a certain way?

Well, when I, so it was live, kind of. Okay. So it was like a day after, because Fiji's like a day ahead. Got it. And so everyone in the U.S. would watch it like a day later. And I just remembered, like, when I came off and I watched it. I didn't know like other people's conversations or like what was happening outside of like my own connection and like what my friends were telling me like that was going on. But I feel like I when I watch definitely like at least on my end I can't speak for like everyone else's but it.

It was pretty like accurate for me, you know. There are some things that I'm like, okay, like that doesn't really make sense because I remember hearing this a different way or whatever. but for the most part it was accurate. Yeah. Well, that's good, at least. I'm curious, was there anything about yourself that the show maybe revealed to you? Because I bet like actually watching yourself on TV is like weird and maybe can show you some things about yourself you didn't know. We're there.

I feel like I looked at myself in a different way. and I never had seen myself just like cry or like never seen myself feel emotions or I don't know how I'm even like talk you know how you are talking me like I'm like I don't know like I didn't know like the way I spoke to people and like the way my face is or you know whatever so seeing that and now I'm used to it but at first I was like oh my God like this is so weird for me to watch but I think like besides that I felt that very, um, I felt very like emotional in there, you know, because I was kind of alone at times. Yeah. And I just usually like call my mom to talk to her, like my best friend and I, I didn't really have that. But I would say overall, like I did get close to the girls and, um, I was able to towards, and like eventually be able to like open up to them. Yeah. Was there a part of you that you feel didn't get shown on TV. Yeah, I would say like, honestly, I wasn't even shown that much. So, so, and I made it all the way to the end. And I don't think like a lot of like my experience was shown.

Yeah. And my relationships with my friends from the show were shown. A lot of our relationships weren't shown. Like we all were like really close friends. But then when you're watching it, kind of looks like, they don't really talk to each other. Like, like. Like, do they even say anything to each other? Did they even know each other? But like we were very like close in there, you know? So it is a little like interesting to see or like, why is this person, you know, online? Like you see, you come out and you see like the discourse of it all.

And people are like thinking like one way, but you know like a different way. So it is kind of interesting, you know, how they chop things up or like took things out. Yeah. No, for sure. I want to dive into mental health because that was kind of what our first connection was. But prior to being on reality TV, what did mental health look like for you? Well, I didn't really like realize until after I got off of the show, to be honest with you, that I had, like, I didn't really like prioritize it as much. Yeah.

But I always feel like I definitely had struggled with my mental health and like communicating it because I'm sometimes a bad communicator when it comes to like. like my feelings or my thoughts because I'm, I'm the type of person where I just don't really, like, want to hurt other people or, yeah, but be a burden to other people. And everyone's kind of like dealing with like so much in their life. And like, why am I going to make my issues, like someone else's problem? But, um, I feel like after the show, like, I really like took my anxiety, my stress, things that I was, had before, but, you know, now they're magnified. Now I really prioritize it and I find ways to protect myself from feeling stressed out. Yeah. You mentioned struggling with OCD and anxiety.

Was that something you were diagnosed with before going on the show or after? Yeah. When I was like probably five, I was diagnosed with OCD. And I would like, wash my hands when I was younger. I would wash my hands until they were red and bleeding because I just like had like, you know, that was my thing. And then it turned into a different thing. And then it turned into like, okay. So one of the things that I kind of went viral for was my pout. And sometimes I like like put my lips out. But that's like a tick that I had. And I honestly like am still struggling with that, but I can't help it. Yeah, when I was younger, it was like way worse for me. Like, I would like blink a lot and then, wow. Yeah. And then it kind of would switch into other things like

transfer over. But I think that also has to tie in with my OCD. And also I'm trying to remember. I also like touch my nose a lot. Like I just do like things that you would not know, but like I know that it's like my. Yeah. My thing. Wow, that's young. I know. And like touching things like on my My mom when I was younger, like I couldn't wear socks with like the line on the toes, tags out of the shirt. I didn't wear dresses because I didn't like how like the air would feel like underneath. Oh, wow. And then I couldn't wear jeans. Yeah.

Either. So growing up, I literally wore sweatpants as a kid. Wow. Was that something that your parents felt like you needed to go like see a therapist or seek some sort of support for? Yeah, they did. They, they, well, I went to doctors and they were like, she needs to be put on this medicine and this medicine and this as a kid. Yeah. And I also have ADHD.

So I have OCD and ADHD, not ADHD, but ADD. Yeah. And I was diagnosed with that when I was in third grade. Okay. And the combination of the both, both of those things just like was a lot for them. And they didn't know how to handle that. Yeah. And my dad has dyslexia and he has ADD.

So my dad kind of like related to me. Yeah. But I think my dad worked a lot. So my mom would just take care of us most of the time. And she didn't want to put me on medicine. She was like, we're going to find, you know, a different outlet to try and like help you. And then eventually I just kind of grew out of it. And now it's like smaller things.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know of quite a few people that have, that had OCD and pretty intense, like, ticks and triggers as kids. And then it just is something that they grow out of or it becomes a lot less physical and more mental. Do you, would you say you still struggle with it mentally or does it ever come back? Like, if you're stressed out or going through an emotional time, do you feel those old triggers or anything mentally? coming back. Yeah, I feel like when I'm overwhelmed, I just, and this is crazy because I actually

never talked about this before, but I feel like when I feel overwhelmed, I sleep a lot. I will stay home and I'll just like sleep because it's better, it feels better for me than to just like have those ticks, you know, because it or to even just like be like that stressed. Yeah. And I really, like that is not good either. And so now I just like try and keep myself busy doing something. Like I bought a bedazzler. Like I'm going to, I like need to like distract myself constantly. And I think that's because I like hyper focus on like one thing and then I can't my ADD. Like I just focus on one thing and I don't, you know, if it's a bad thing, then there's nothing I can really do about it, you know? Yeah. Have you, have you gone to therapy?

I honestly like as a kid I went to therapy for a little bit yeah and then um I honestly like have found like I know therapist is good to talk to and I do have someone that I talk to yeah and provided by like the show and everything and they're great um but my mom has also like been a really big like support system for me and she just really keeps it real with me and it does make me feel better, you know? That's amazing. Yeah. That's important to have people in your life that you can say, that you feel safe enough to open up to, but also can keep it real with you. Like, I have so many, like, girlfriends that I, that is, like, my favorite part of relationships. And I feel like that is what makes relationships so strong is, like, being able to be like, hey, like, you should have maybe done that a little differently. or like you're acting a little.

She's the first one to tell me like, why did you like do that or like why did you? Oh. You know. So and then she's like, but this is how we're going to fix it. Yeah. And I think that's like a good person to have in your life. And you're right. Like good friends.

That's how you become closer with people and like build that trust. Yeah. I was going to ask like I'm always, I mean, I'm thinking about it now because I'm having a girl. Like I always, I always say I want to like I want her. to feel like safe enough to come to me with those things and I like stress about it now. I'm like babe like like what if like I want her to feel safe that she could trust me and come to me with whatever. What do you think it is about like your relationship with your mom that you can do that with her? I think she just never really judged us for anything that we like wanted to do

and it's kind of making me emotional. She has never really judged us and she kind of let us like do her thing and like made it comfortable for us to be open with her. Yeah. Yeah. So I think like having a safe space and like she was also like a young mom. So she was growing up with us as well. Yeah. And I think like her getting things and like, you know, we were wearing like juicy couture like track suits and she was too.

And it was like cute, you know. So I think like those things make you feel like relatable. me relatable with my mom like my mom's like cool like I yeah I could trust her like she's like my best friend oh that's so sweet she's probably gonna watch this and cry oh I love that yeah being pregnant has made me think so differently about food I want to eat well and I want real meals but honestly some nights the last thing I have energy for is figuring out what to make and then actually making it and tempo has been the answer to that problem more times than I can count Tempo delivers fresh chef-crafted dietitian-approved meals right to your door, and each one is ready

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got a lot going on in you're avoiding things. Phone screen time is a distraction. And then after that, you feel like you just go to sleep. You waste your day away. And then that just kind of like, I need a reminder to, you know, not do that. But I would say like it's just honestly like sleeping, like feeling tired and exhausted and just like having to distract myself. That's like definitely my biggest one. And like, yeah, I would say like that's honestly the biggest for me. Yeah.

And your people that are close to you know that you do. that so they're able to be like hey yeah they know like you're not going to sleep right now yeah you know even when I was in school and stuff I would be so stressed out with just everything that was going I'm I like suck people's energy like and me and I like don't say anything or like you know do anything really about it yeah and then I just like like I need to go to sleep you know like that's just how I am I don't know why or like how to necessarily help it I don't necessarily help it I don't necessarily want to take medication, but like, I'm open to it. Yeah. And I don't know. I think it's just like, I'm still learning. I'm not like, I haven't like perfectly found the recipe to like fix it. But I also

kind of don't think like I'll ever fix it. And it's just like who I am. And I'm honestly okay with that because I've been dealing with it since I was a baby. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's, I think that's the beauty of life. Yeah. learn as we go. Yeah. On the note of reality TV, you mentioned that you sought out speaking to the therapist, the counselor that the show provided. Was there something that made you realize you needed to talk with them? Yeah, anytime I was just feeling like overwhelmed, you know, because you go from zero to 100. Like you have maybe some people in your life before you know, they say like shitty things to you or whatever, then you go to having like

thousands of people saying that and pointing out your deepest, darkest insecurities, pointing out people that you care about. You know, I didn't even get it that bad. Like I feel like I felt stressed out and anxiety, but like I feel so much for the people on the show that like did get it bad. And it like actually genuinely breaks my heart. and because I only know how I feel. And it's just like, you know, it's crazy.

Like you just go from zero to 100. And I think like when you go to 100 and you feel stressed out, that's when you, that's when I would call someone, you know? Yeah. And it's nice that I had that person there. Yeah. What do you wish people maybe understood more or something that they forget when it comes to mental health and the impact that being.

in the public eye can have on someone in your position. I think now it's crazy because people just want, they want you to go into reality TV show and then they don't understand that like there's things that are edited a certain way. There's storylines. There's, you know, production placement, you know, things that make things look messy. And then that's not necessarily that person's fault, you know. Yeah. people do feel overwhelmed at times and maybe some people maybe not didn't react the right way or

um say the right thing at the right time but that person like me i mean there's times where i felt overwhelmed i was like when i was filming beyond the villa the spinoff show of love island i was so overwhelmed during the whole filming even love island i was overwhelmed but i would say like beyond the villa, I was like really overwhelmed since it was like the last thing that I kind of remember. You know, to judge people off of that is I understand why because everyone has an opinion. Yeah. But I think like when you go deeper into it and start like criticizing the way they look, the criticizing things about them that isn't just like that scene, I think that's horrible.

You know, like you don't need to do that. You can disagree with someone. you could think that person didn't react the right way. But to call them these names and do all these horrible things to someone that went on a reality TV show and is entertaining you is kind of messed up. I mean, not kind of. It really is. And it's wrong, you know? I think people forget that the people on reality shows, like, it's, I mean, regardless of if you're on a TV show or not, like, this is all our first time, like, living life.

and going through experiences and then add in the element of reality TV and things being placed or edited or whatever it may be, we forget that that's like not, like the situation that you're in is not normal. I have a lot of girlfriends that have done different reality shows and that's like the biggest thing is people forget when we're watching it. like they, what they're experiencing behind, I mean, even when they're on camera, but even when it's off, like, it's so different. And it's the first time they're ever dealing with it.

And most people have not ever dealt with it. So I think we need to just like give people grace. Yeah. I think with it. Definitely. I definitely think so. It's so hard. Even like I see it with actors too and singers and people, you know, they, they have like a bad character in a movie.

And everyone's like, I hate them. And it's like, they're acting. Yeah. You know. That's not actually them. That's not actually them. Yeah. That's so true.

I want to talk about social media. Yeah. And your relationship with it, I guess, I guess what is your relationship with social media now that, you know, on the note of people's opinions and sharing your life on the internet and just kind of being in a position to be. We kind of have no choice but to be open to, like the door is open because of the career paths that you and I and people in this industry have chosen to receive opinions all the time. So what is your relationship with social media? I post things sometimes and then I don't go on my phone. And then there's times where I post things and I look at what I post for like 10 minutes

And then I don't look. And then there's times where I do them scrolling. And, you know, I see things on my feed. And then I feel like, though, like now my algorithm is more like not so much Love Island anymore. Yeah. But I think that I just try not to go on social media too much. That's so good. Yeah.

I feel like we can all use that. Yeah. because what has it been like for you, you know, just having to hear people's opinions about you, about your relationships, about your friends that aren't, that aren't true? Like, I know from personal experience, like, it's not fun and there's always a part of me that wants to like hammer away a comment back to them. Yeah. What's your experience with that?

I just try, I just don't respond because I just know that, no matter what you, say you're not going to win, nobody's going to believe you. And it's like, if you say something, you're either dragging it out or no one's going to believe you or there's this and there's that. And you, you know, it's like, you know, what I can live with and I'm like so happy about is I know, like my truth and I know what I experience and the people around me do as well. And that's all that's important to me is just like having real people in my life and not people that don't even know me or don't even know my friends or my family to have these opinions and for them to affect me. I don't let that like get in my way. Sometimes it does like bother me, but now I've gotten so

good at just like, okay, well, that person is probably like a miserable person that they have to like attack me. Yeah. Yeah. I think I saw, I think it was Tom Hawley. Holland was doing an interview once. And he was saying something like, if you have a problem with me, call me. And if you don't have my number, then you don't have a real problem with me. It was something like that. And I was like, wait, it's actually just like so true. And I think a lot of us now in this social media era can really relate to that.

Because if I know I did something that was authentically myself, that I, had good intentions behind it and I know my close family and friends like agree with a reason why I did something or support it. And that's kind of like all that matters, not saying that the opinions in the comments, you know, they're still hard. It doesn't make it necessarily easier. But it's true though because I wouldn't want to do anything just to like please a camera or please a parasycial fan base and be fake about it. I would rather be real. And, and, you know, And my family will, like, tell me I'm wrong or they'll be like, you know, whatever. Yeah.

And my friends, too. And my boyfriend do. You know, like, they're not afraid to tell. Because I'm, like, the type of person where you could tell me something and I'm not going to take it personally. Yeah. Like, I will grow from whatever. But, yeah, I just kind of think, like, I don't know. I just think it's, like, better to just not.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. on the none of your like relationships how how has it been navigating for you to navigate being in a relationship living a public life and keeping keeping part of that personal and like away from the public eye how has it been for you to kind of like balance that i just kind of keep things private and sometimes they share things sometimes they don't know because a lot of my I have real friends like outside of my love island friends too and my

friend's my best friend she's a teacher like you know I don't want to like post her and like there's a lot of kids that follow me you know which is crazy but um my best friend I wouldn't want to like post her she doesn't want to be posted or anything so I hang out with her all the time and like um you know I just keep those things private and then my boyfriend and I like we will post a video here and there, because we do like making like couple content and stuff, but I just feel like we definitely have like our relationship is more private. Like we're not, besides when we did the show, like that was being filmed 24-7, but not all of it was put in. But we just try and like be, live our life, you know? Yeah. That's important. Yeah. I feel like that's special too,

like getting to. Um, come on. off of something that is so public facing and being able to not reclaim your power over your relationship, but in a sense, yes, like, it's now like up to the two of you, like what, what you want to share and how you want to share it. And I think that's special. And also, like, gives you time, gives you guys, like, the space to actually have a relationship because I think a lot of the relationships that come from the reality shows and the social, like all of those things. things, there's a level of like such highness to it that sometimes it's like, oh, are we actually compatible instead of just living in the high of the show and what comes after the show?

Yeah. So I have a lot of respect for you for doing that. I think it's important. Yeah. Oh, I wanted to know, I think I know the answer to this question based of how you've been answering my previous questions with, you know, the fame of being on. such a big show. Coming off of it, did it change any of your existing friendships or people maybe reaching out to you for the first time? Because I remember when my husband and I first started

dating, I had like people coming out of the woodworks from high school. And I was like, you bullied me. Like, you didn't even like me. Why are you texting me right now? Did you experience any of that? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Like everyone that I didn't talk to. Yeah. Or didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to them. Wanted to like, you know, I mean, a lot of people congratulated me, but like a lot of people were like now, oh my God, like, what are you doing? Like, are you, you know? And family.

Now everybody, I don't know. It's weird to switch up. But I grew up in L.A., so I'm like kind of used to people acting like that. And it didn't really phase me necessarily. But also I don't think a lot of my friends like understood when I first got out. I was so overwhelmed. And I couldn't sit on the phone for two hours on a FaceTime call and just like, yeah, you know?

And they were like, oh my gosh, like what happened? Like what's going on? And, you know, I didn't have time to like explain everything because I didn't want to keep talking about it over and over and over. And when I caught out, I did five like different podcasts. It was like be here at the studio at 12. Like it was a Zoom podcast. Like I did like so many different ones when I first got out.

So it was a lot, you know, it was like in our contract that we had to do that. So it was overwhelming. And I don't think a lot of people understood that. Yeah. No, it definitely takes a toll, especially when you're coming like straight off of that. And having to relive things and talk about things, even if it's necessary, like maybe not even necessarily like a sad or bad thing to talk about. still having to like actually talk about it over and over again

is still exhausting and it's a lot mentally because you're thinking like am I saying the right things? Am I sitting up straight? Am I like just everything in between? Oh my gosh it's so terrifying and because when you're on the show your brain turned off.

Yeah. And when you come out you have to turn it back on because you're put in your real life again. Yeah. You're kind of like like protected in there in a way and then you come out and then you feel so, much anxiety. You feel so nervous. Like I felt so like I didn't even know myself when I came out. And I was

kind of listening to other people and getting advice from, you know, people. And I don't know. There's no like perfect way to go out. There's not handbook for absolutely not. Yeah. These types of things. Now going through the shows and stuff, do you, do you want to do another what is your feelings towards? I don't think so. Doing reality TV again. I just don't really like want to do reality TV. I don't think.

I mean, I guess it depends on like the right place, right time situation, what the reality show is. But I don't think I want to do like one where I have to like talk to someone I don't want to talk to, you know, or talk about this. Like this is, have my boyfriend ask me to be his girlfriend the day. after he asked me to be his girlfriend and like, oh my God, no, like that just feels freaking fake to me. And I can't do it. I just can't.

You know? Like, it just not who I am. But like, kudos to the people that can. And like, I'm not saying all reality is fake. But I'm just saying like my, from my experience. Yeah. A lot of it was like, oh. And then like, wait, one thing is so funny that we had to like throw, me and my boyfriend had to throw parties.

Like most of the time, like Thanksgiving party and stuff. We would throw these Thanksgiving parties and like Christmas parties. And then we would like leave the mess. And everyone in the comments was like, wow. Like you guys are not even going to clean it up. You're going to leave them to like clean it up. And they, you know, in production, they're like, okay, get off the set. Like time to go to bed.

You're because you're working and your hours. You need to end at a certain time. Yeah. And we had to end at a certain time. And they have like the art department come clean it up. And everyone's like in the comments saying, you guys are horrible hosts and blah, blah, blah. Oh my gosh. And our Thanksgiving was such a disaster because we had like the most like gross food on the

Thanksgiving table because we went they were like bring something last minute because we thought they were going to, you know, production was going to have a beautiful like Thanksgiving meal for us. Yeah. But we had to like go to Ralph's and like my friend Hannah brought a rotisserie chicken because we'd have a turkey. And I don't know. Everyone was like, wow. Like you guys are like what's wrong with you guys? I'm like, oh my gosh.

Only you guys knew. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah. That's annoying that you have to deal with that. Like, obviously. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, people, come on.

We just got to use our brains. But the production can even bring food. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, they, they, yeah. They did. They knew what they were doing.

They knew what they were doing. Yeah. They always kind of know. Yeah. Okay. Moving forward for you. Oh, I was going to say, I feel like a traders would be fun for you. Yeah.

Like something like that. I would do something like that. Like something that's not like. But I would want to be like a faithful. Yeah. Because I don't really think I can like be a traitor. Keep the lie up for that long. I don't think I could.

Yeah. I really have a face where I can't like you know I'm lying. Yeah. You know? I feel like you should be faithful and you would have like their outfits on there or just like they dress to the nines. I feel like you would have some killer outfits. Yeah. For there.

Okay. I would love to taste out for that. I'm putting that into the universe. for you because I would love that. I let to know what does a success look like for you now compared to before your life kind of turned into what it is now. Well, before I was always like working and trying to find like ways to grow my business and everything. And I was so stressed out because I was like, I want to be here. And okay, well, I'll say this. My mom didn't go to college and my dad didn't go to college but my dad is a hairdresser and like he's a

successful hairdresser like he really he started when he was 14 and yeah and then he like kind of took care of my mom and then when they got divorced so she didn't like really have a job and then when they got divorced she went back in the work field and um I think like that kind of like taught me like I don't ever want to rely on a man, you know, and I want my own thing. Even if it is like a passion, I think that is so important to always have. And so I just had a goal for myself to become like really to be like self-sufficient honestly and like be able to care of myself. And before I even went on the show, I was going to sell spray tan products. And I bought a bunch of bottles and I never sold them. But now I'm like super grateful that I have my social media career and I'm able to, you know, work that way.

And I'm so thankful like for that. And it's amazing and super fun. But I think like success is truly just no matter what you do, I feel like as long as you're happy and you're around the right people. Like that's really success, you know. Yeah. And I think it's hard to do that when you're really stressed out. out and you're trying to figure out, oh my God, like, how am I going to pay rent or like my car payment? Yeah. And trying to find, be happy through all of that. But I think that, you know, when you do find that way, the person, the right person to talk to, the right method, it does get easier.

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Okay, let's move into a last little segment that I have with you. It's called Lemon 7. Seven questions. You can rapid fire them or you can give me an explanation if your heart feels as it wants to do so. Okay. The first question is what movie or song title best describes your mental

health today? Traveling? Like sisters traveling pants? Yep. Great. Yeah. That's a great answer. Love that. Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. Yep. I'll allow it. Um, number two is how open are you with people in your life when struggling? I'm better now. I'm more open about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like that's because of the show and like how to, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's opened me up. Number three is if you could follow only three social media accounts, what would they be? They could be on any platform. Ooh, okay.

I follow, you need to follow a dog account. Yeah. You know, good serotonin or dopamine. Dopamine serotonin? One of the things. What is serotonin? I actually don't know. Dopamine.

Yeah, one of them. Dopamine. Yeah, it's fine. We know what you mean. Yeah. And dog account? Cooking. and a style account.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, three. Okay, number four. What is your favorite form of self-care? Just really, like, intense, like, shower routine and staying in the shower. I have a red light in my shower. Okay, wait.

Can I, I think I need to know the whole, I think I need the routine. So I love, like, really scrubbing my feet. Yeah. I love, like, like, washing my back with the, I don't even know. what it's called. I have like the like I have a whole thing. Yeah. So it's like that is really like my favorite thing to do. Body scrub. Yeah. Skelp massager scrub. Uh-huh. And then a scalp massager. Red light therapy. Um, deep conditioning mask. Well, this is all happening as well. And then shower lotion. Have you ever tried shower lotion? I don't know. It's like lotion you put on in the shower. What?

and then you come out so you don't have to like put lotion on but you still I still put it on and then I come out and I dry brush and then I put lotion on and then blow dry my hair as best as I can and then go to bed oh my gosh that sounds so be I'm so excited to be able to like have a full routine because even just like an everything shower pregnant I'm like out of breath and dying and then I still have to like put lotion on and blood dry my hair so I can't wait to you know what I bought an at home laser thing I don't know know if that's safe but I bought it. No, I have a few friends that have it and they say that they actually. It really works. Yeah. Interesting. Wait, your red light's in your shower. So it's a shower head. It's

really nice. Like you should get one. It's so cool. It's like a shower head. Red light. So when you're washing your hair, you have like red light therapy like on your face and your head and your scalp. And it's so nice. So that's where I would get my red light therapy because I can't sit down for too long. Yeah. Without moving and do red light. I've never, you're going to have to tell me the like. You're going to have to me the link to this. I have never heard of this. I'll send it. I'm really excited to have to take shower. Number five is what is the most misunderstood thing about you? I get this question a lot. And I never know how to answer it. I mean, I guess that's a good thing. I think people just don't understand that like I really am just a human being and I'm doing life for the first time. Yeah.

And I'm young and not perfect. But I do. love everyone and I love life and I just want to live a peaceful, happy life. And that's really what I would love to say. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Six is who has had the most positive impact on your mental health? My boyfriend. Yeah, he's, there's, like when I was filming the show, I would wake up and I would have like nightmares and like I would scream in my sleep. So it was so like, it was horrible. And he was there for me. There's so much. He never like made me feel bad for like feeling so stressed out. And like, like I said, I feel like I'm a burden sometimes. I feel like I'm a burden sometimes to like people. But like he really has helped me a lot. Yeah. Do you do affirmations at all? No, but he does. I want you to do an affirmation

because I feel you are like genuinely such a kind heart. And so like, of life. Wait, why I'm like, well, I just want, I want you to know that about yourself and to love that and to know that you're not, you're not burdening people by, you know, the thoughts that you have. And I want you to leave today feeling like, you're crying. I just want, I don't know, I just want you to feel like you, like your feelings are valid enough to speak them and you're not burdening people.

Because I think you have a really great support system. And I think if you maybe let them in a little bit more. be such a good mom. You're so sweet. I think if you let them in a little bit more than maybe, like, I think if there's people in your life that love you and you're maybe like this to it and you're like not fully letting it. I just feel bad.

I feel like I don't want to like make my problems someone else's problems. Yeah. But affirmations, what do you do? Like write them down. I mean, anything. I love writing a little sticking out and sticking it on the mirror. Prayer is a big thing for me too. And I think I think just reminding yourself that your feelings are valid, where you're at is valid.

And also, I totally hear you on not wanting to burden people with your problems. But I bet the people, those people actually want to hear your problems. That's what my girlfriends and I talk about all the time is like I actually want to know, like, if you're struggling. Like I, there'll be times when I have really busy seasons and my girlfriends, like, I'll see them after a couple months and they'll, Like, you know, my girlfriend filled me in on how she's dealing with the loss of her dad. And I'm like, you didn't tell me these things. And she's like, well, I don't want to like burden you. You're like doing all these things and you're traveling. I'm like, but that's not that actually none of that even matters. And it's, it's kind of sad because it's like my friend before, I want them to like know that they can like tell me things now. Yeah. Even though I'm dealing with stuff. But that's kind of how I feel about my. boyfriend because I know he's dealing with stuff as well. So it is really like weird navigating it. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's what I'm going to try that. I'm also here if you ever need to talk. You know where to find me.

Well, thanks for coming and chatting. And I'm, I'm excited for you. I feel like you're entering like I just the energy I feel from you is you're entering this. I'm still like discovering myself. I think that's the era that you are like now you're actually getting to. Like, I feel like you, like, with being on the shows and the timelines and you're, like, navigating who you are as a human and even shows aside, like, just girls at our age, that's, like, what we're doing. Yeah. But I, like, just excited for you to navigate this with your, like, family and friends and your relationship, too.

He seems amazing. Yeah, he's amazing. I'm excited for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and, advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.