The Squeeze - Jenna Johnson & Val Chmerkovskiy: Dancing Through Life and Loss

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

TW: Infertility & Miscarriage ~30:20 – 43:35 — programmatic ads may affect the exact timestamp for each listener  Dancing with the Stars legends and power couple Jenna Johnson and Val Chmerkovskiy join the two Tays for a laugh-filled double date and your weekly dose of mental health chats. While Jenna and Val are happy as ever with their baby boy bundle of joy Rome, transforming their family from two to three did not simply happen overnight. Val and Jenna open up about their journey with infertility and miscarriage, and how only after they decided to give themselves a break did they find themselves pregnant after Jenna’s birthday trip to Cabo. But first, they’re telling us all about how their relationship formed after they connected on Dancing with the Stars, where Val took advantage of his incredible charm and somehow good-smelling sweat to ultimately win Jenna over. Val and Jenna get honest about everything work and personal, including watching your partner develop close relationships with those of the opposite sex, how parenthood has altered their relationship, and why Jenna's new post-partum body has actually improved her confidence. Plus, they share advice for those struggling to conceive and new parents!  Be sure to follow Jenna and Val @jennajohnson and @valentin and watch them perform on Dancing with the Stars this Fall!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible:   Cymbiotika — Visit cymbiotika.com and use code THESQUEEZE for 15% off sitewide  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail].  Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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auto-hure, don't know your re-sadviseur or sunnycars. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, We talk about it.

Hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday or whatever day it is that you're listening to this. And welcome to the squeeze, the squeeze, the squeeze. I'm Tay. And I am Boyte, and we are very grateful to have you here with us today. Yes, sir, we are. We very much are. We have a very awesome episode coming up that we'll tell you about momentarily.

but before that, I just wanted to check in with everyone. On a scale from 1 to 10. We'll check in with yourself. What are you at, hon? I'm better now than I was this morning. Okay, that's too right this moment. This moment, I'm an 8. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Had a bit of stressful morning. Honestly, woke up, great. Yeah. Probably woke up at an 8, 9. You were really happy when you woke up. But then, you know, a couple stressful life things happen. And definitely went down to a three or four for a moment.

Well, you handled it greatly. And now we're here. Yeah, I'd say I'm like a seven. Okay. I'm probably right around there with you. Well, I'm going to do my best to get you up to at least a nine. Oh, snap. Yeah, I got a little something planned.

Oh, no, you don't. I know what we're doing the rest of the day. You don't have anything planned. I was going to figure it out. Oh, okay, maybe you still can. Okay. Oh, you know what? Will help me get up there?

Huh. I think you could guess. What? Cleaning the counters or something weird. Yeah. What? No, you already cleaned the island this morning. No, it would just be helped taking the trash out.

The trash? Yeah. Actually, I always do the trash. I need to open our Amazon boxes. Yeah, I know you do. It just needs to be done. Okay. I'll take the trash out. If that gets me up to a nine, great.

Is there anything I can do for you to get you to get you to a nine? I don't know why I'm laughing. We can stop talking about trash and cleaning counters and start talking about this episode that we have. We have with us today dancing with the stars legends, Val and Jenna. Yes, we do. The cutest little couple. They're very adorable. relationship together is so funny and it's fun. It's very fun. Yeah. Very fun. Yeah.

They're so different in ways. They're probably, you know, I don't know them super well, but based off a conversation with them, I'm sure they're similar in many ways too. Yeah. But yeah, we had so much fun with them and we talked about a lot of stuff. We kind of sidebarred a lot of the conversation because we were just having like a great time talking with them. But I feel like we really like covered a lot from you know, their careers as dancers like them being together before they were together. Pregnancy. They've had a struggle. They've had some struggles in pregnancy. Their little boy that they now have. Yeah. He's so cute. They had some speed bumps and they're very brave to share their story. but I think, I mean, did they talk about taking?

I know, I think we talked about it. And if they didn't, I mean, they do talk about it that they were so frustrated and hurt that they kind of just stepped away from the process and said, we need a break. Yeah. And that's when the little miracle happened. They give some really good, just relationship advice. Like, you can tell that like the two of them, like, they love each other so much. and they just gave very good advice on the adjustment of going just the two of them to now the three of them, which I feel like was very helpful for us to hear too because we love each other a lot and we spend a lot of time together and like them.

They love each other a lot and spend a lot of time together. So they almost kind of like mourned the two of them going to three even though it was such a fun thing, but it's still an adjustment. But they were just like very honest and open and very down to earth. earth and practical and yeah we loved our conversation with them yeah well should we dive into the episode we shall okay enjoy everyone we'll see on the other side val and jena val yes yes hello hi thank you for joining us we are excited to have you guys we appreciate you coming thanks so we start each episode off with this little jar a little game we call citrus got real so So if one of you would like to pull a little piece of paper out of there.

Or each of you can pull one. Or each. However you can pull one from you. Okay. I'll get too. Oh. Do you think the sea is salty because the shore never waves back at it? Oh.

What? Who wrote this one? I love this. Hmm. Definitely. Super salty, especially in California. What? If you were a candy bar, which candy bar would you be?

Oh, I'm actually really curious. I would be a Twix so I could give you half of me. Oh! I'm like gagging and so loving that. How did you come up with that? So quick. That's quick. Or a Bueno bar.

I mean it. Thanks. Twix. Oh. I don't, wow. See, I was going to say Twix, but not for that reason just because I like voice. It was really deep.

Oh my goodness. Do you know what you like me? I don't know, but I don't want to answer after that. I feel like you would be like, I don't know why. I think nerds rope came to mine, but that's because you did that commercial for them when you were a kid. Thank you. Okay.

I don't know why I thought Katie. This is really cute. It's just really cute. I'm like holding the nerds rope in his mouth of like, like, it's like an eight-year-old. It was like one of my, before I ever even booked like an on-camera thing, it was like a print ad. And I got this nerds rope ad. And I actually, they had like a rope hanging from the ceiling that I swung from and they turned it into a nerds rope. Where are those photos?

I don't know. I'll find them. Yeah, I want to see those. Internet? Internet. Do your thing? Do your thing. Get rid of it for us.

Okay. So I want to start. Taylor's probably rolling his eyes at me. I danced my whole life growing up. Kind of went to college for it and then did nursing. But you guys live out my dream. Love you, babe. But what is it like dancing together?

Because I just think that is like the coolest thing. Have you ever been to the show first of all? No. You have to come this season. Great. It's the best. Okay. Back to the question.

It's amazing. And honestly, truly one of the reasons why I think we fell in love. There's just something so sensual, so like touching, you know, like physical. Did you do partner dancing at all? now it's next level it really is because i also grew up doing like ballet jazz and all of the stuff but there's there's something so intimate about ballroom and then being able to do it with somebody that like you love and i think we have very similar styles of dancing yeah it's it's magic yeah i don't know it's so corny to say it like that but i i do prefer him as a partner

to anybody else there's just like a certain touch feel sensation it's just yeah it's But also because I'm a great partner, not because she, you know, we're attracted to each other. Well, that goes without saying, obviously. I'm great at my craft. She's together after your Twix bar. Yeah. I really am. So after hearing that, do you want to take a ballroom class with me?

Come on. I can't even get him on the dance floor, like, at a wedding. And that's like, what? Probably like our biggest. We're going to do quick 101 salsa after this. Like, side together. I need something. It's rough.

Or just to even. Even a dip. A dip gets them every time. Yeah. You could flip me. You can do like a little thing. Or I could just flip myself. Or you could flip yourself.

Sorry, I cut you off. No, but I want, you guys met on the show. Yeah, we met on the show. Okay. Yeah. We're one of you there before. Yes. You tell your story and then I'll tell mine.

No, no, no, you go ahead. Your story is better. Okay. So, Val, how many seasons were you on before me? It was like... Like five. Okay, five. There's an age gap.

He's a little older. So, yeah, he was on five seasons before me. I had just finished so you think you can dance. I had gone on tour with them. And I got asked to do dancing with the stars. I was like fresh 19-year-old. Oh, wow. I moved out to L.A. for dancing with the stars.

And it's like my first day of rehearsal. I walk in. I'm the only new person that season. Everybody already knew each other. There's like great energy with everyone and I'm like shaking. And we randomly got partnered together in the routine that we were learning. And this guy just like New York accent, he was like trying to flirt with me the whole time. I was trying to flirt with you the whole time.

Yes. And I'm like, just be, being professional, I don't want to get fired my first day. I was kind and chivalrous and understood that she was probably intimidated and I were trying to make the environment as. Yeah, it wasn't a rude flirt. It was just like, you were flirting. Okay, I just wanted to clarify. And I was like, trying not to be distracted. He was like, I was just being nice.

Yeah. Well, I just want to differentiate flirting, my definition of flirting and just kindness. So you telling me how good your sweat smelt was. Did I say that? Yes, he was like, you know, my sweat. I was like, oh, my gosh, who is this guy? Anyway, funny enough, in that same rehearsal, his brother was also a pro, Max. And for those of you that don't know Max, Max, he is.

a character and the best ever, but he's a full character. My older brother is also on Dancing on the Star, was for a long time. Yeah. So he was in the rehearsal. I randomly had to spin, get partnered with Max, and Max looks at me and he goes, who are you? And I was like, I'm Jenna. He was like, no, no, like, who are you standing in for?

And I was like, so I'm actually part of the show now. I'm here. I stood up to him and he's like very scary if you don't know him at first. Anyway, so that's kind of how it started. And then it. It just was a whirlwind from there. That's the story. What did I mean?

She came into this barbaric environment. It was intimidating. One guy was like, smell my sweat. The other one was like, what are you doing here? And now you're my family. Yeah, no, we had physical chemistry. I liked her energy and spirit. And then throughout the season, we kind of entertained that attraction.

But he was a bachelor. was 19. Yeah. But also I was just not, you know, I was so focused on making it in my work. Yeah. You know, I wasn't really trying to, you know, I wasn't trying to find love. I was trying to find success. Right.

And. I wasn't either. I was also trying to make it. Yeah. But again, we collaborated on the work. Yeah. Yeah. And I think in the foundation, which we had to redefine our relationship as it grew.

And, you know, obviously, we're. We've come a long way. But some of the pillars in the beginning were work-related. And again, when I say work-related, our passion is our work. So a lot of it came from respect. I admired her as an artist and as a professional. And she helped me out a lot. Those first few years, she assisted me on a lot of choreography, a lot of ideas.

And my gratitude grew with that as well. And yeah, we kind of made a great team, again, with work-related stuff. And then out of, you know, off-time, off of work, we also, you know, we weren't sick of each other. We still wanted to hang out. We still wanted to kind of discover ourselves. Yeah. That was a cute way of saying. Yeah.

We weren't sick of each other. We weren't sick of each other. But again, I do have to say, you know, eventually we had to, you know, make agreements, make arrangements, speak to each other. because, you know, I also didn't sign up to be a duo when it comes to my work, right? My work is, you know, one of the times we spoke is like, you know, I've had a relationship with my craft way before, you know, I've met anybody. Yeah. And I want to not preserve it, but I just want to at least respect it, you know, and I want us to, of course, work together because you're awesome. you make me better.

Yeah. But I don't want that to be a given, you know. That it's always the two of us. That is just, okay, we're together now. Yeah, well, we met as individuals and individually great at our craft. And so having to kind of figure out working together, dancing together, creating together, but then also. Supporting each other. Of course.

Yeah. You have to just find boundaries. So something, as you guys know, that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's Mental Health Journey journeys as individuals. And as a couple has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support.

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No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work, and it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah. And it's, it'll just keep you accountable too. So we highly, highly encourage that you guys check out cerebral because therapy is just done wonders for us. And we know it'll do the same for you.

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Like, were you like never, like, was it even a thought or? I always said no. And then I always ended up dating dancers. I hate pop dancer. Stop. I did have a few of those boyfriends. Yeah, I think it goes back to just sharing that passion with somebody. Yeah.

And I'm attracted to, I think, passion and, I don't know, like athleticism in a sense, too. So I don't know. Aesthetic. Good smelling sweat. Sweat. Good, sweat. Smells really good. Yeah.

I had to ask. Does it actually smell good? It does. Well, like, back in the day, he was doing Creed, but it was like 17 squirts of Creed. And so he would walk anywhere a mile away. And he was like, Val was here. Right.

Creed, creed. The description of like the douchiest guy. Stop. Creed is really good smelling. You know, like saturates himself in Cologne. No, but it would look soon. But you know that like your sense of smell leaves an impact of memories or, you know, emotion, feelings.

for sure. So I would dream about creed. So maybe we need to bring the creed back. Yes. Maybe you need to start wearing that. I'm Googling. Try it out. Eventus Creed, okay?

I do want to know, too. Is there like, I don't know if there isn't any because it's just like normal on what you guys do. Is there like a, I don't know what the word I'm trying to say is not butt heads, but is it, is you can say butt heads? Do you butt heads like? You dancing with the male and you dancing with the female. Does that ever like, because obviously like Taylor like does these things and like does these things.

We'll do TV shows or movies, whatever and he'll like have to kiss a girl. But I'm not also kissing a boy. Like I'm also having doing that same thing. So like it's only really like a dress for you. But with both of you doing it, how is that dynamic? Is it just like normal for you guys? That's also part of the growth that we had to do for sure. I never had to be confronted with that until this relationship.

Well, I think too, so we've both been dancing with an opposite sex since we were very young. Yeah. Which is odd in general. You know, like at 12 years old, I was like body rolling on a boy. And that was just normal. That was what I did. Odd, but awesome. But awesome.

Yeah. Well, as she says, odd, in the same breath, I think it's one of the things I'm most proud of as a competitive ballroom dancer. You know, I had to, I had to. I was lucky to share the stage with a female partner. You know, we built camaraderie with a female partner, you know. Well, it's really the only sport where you do have a teammate that is. That's a girl. Yeah, and I think that was really important from my relationship with women and how I

approach them and the respect that I have and, you know, the quality in which I view them, if not even more. Yeah. So because they, you know, they have to dance in higher heels backwards. Yeah. So I think watching him dance with another girl, I'll say this. Like as a, as an artist, never affected me. But I think when we were dating and weren't as secure in our relationship. And obviously with our show, there's, we have amazing fans. But they lean into like the shipping and, you know, because there is this magic. that's happening during the season that nobody else gets to feel, you know? And so it, it was hard just because of those added elements. Like, if it was just on an artistry level, like, I was so proud and to cheer him on with another girl, you know.

Yeah. But yeah, it's when those, the other nonsense gets, yeah, gets involved. And that's when you're like, you're like, oh, gee, like, wait, what? Yeah. Are you actually a track? Like, the thing is, it's, I look at it as a, as it's, as it's, tool as well. Like this is part of my craft is I do it with a partner. Yeah. And part of that process, I also have to convey a really strong sense of chemistry and an emotion. And I mean, that's,

you got to infuse the work with that. And that's the kind of the double-edged sword is like, the better I am at that. The more impactful that might be on our relationship. But again, And it's really all the other noise that adds, it just pours like that toxic energy on. Otherwise, it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing to see us at our best. Yeah. But yeah. Well, and I think for a while, too, on the show, I didn't have a partner yet.

I was on what they call a troop. And so I didn't have a celebrity partner for a few seasons while he did. And so it wasn't like I was experiencing what he was kind of like what you were saying, you know. And then I started to get partners and I understood the time commitment. The like he said, the more chemistry you have with your partner, the better your season is going to be. It just is. Even for the two of you to get a long better, but for the audience to want to vote for you. You know, so I started to get more of an understanding for what that commitment was.

But really it's like what she said is the time, right? I'm also obsessed with what I do. Yeah. Now, as again, as I get older, my responsibilities outside of my work change. I'm trying to find a better balance, and I am. But ultimately, you know, I have undivided commitment and energy towards my work. My work revolves around one other person. That other person is of the opposite sex.

And I spent much. You did, yes, which was amazing. But again, the jealousy or I threw that word out. Yeah. That feeling that you might feel. Yeah. Oh, I know where you're going. Yeah, say those.

Is more focused around the time spent with this other human. Yeah. And the joy shared with this other human. Yeah. You know, and as somebody watching someone that I love, it's tough to be like, man, she looks so happy spending all her time. Yeah. Yeah, with this other person. Creating these beautiful things that are then broadcasted to the world and the world is responding.

Yeah. You know, and they respond and actually, and then we talked about the toxicity in that response. Yeah. Amongst all other beautiful responses, you know, some of that. And those voices are the loudest. And now I'm exposed to those voices too. And it's like it takes a lot of discipline and a lot of trust to be okay with. all of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really have to have a firm foundation. And tools.

Yeah. Yeah. Communication. I do just want to ask what was it like dancing with Jojo and how was, because I'm sure like choreographing it, like did you have to change how you did it? Because normally it's like the male, like male dances like a male and the female dance is like a female. When there's two females, how to do like, what was that process like? It was so scary going into it. Yeah. Because like you said, I knew what all of my male celebrities, like I knew it would make them look good. Right.

And it was me dancing around them, dipping on them, flipping on them or something. What else? Stop! I didn't say grinding on them. No, but then when I was approached with now a girl and I was like, oh, man, I have no expectations of what I'm stepping into or how to choreograph or how to begin a dance like this. But it was such a great challenge because especially in that time of my life, I was just not in a good place. I was like super depressed. I was going through it personally. And I was also, I had done the show so much. It became a little bit monotonous to me where I was kind of just going by my routine and not really enjoying every second of it or challenging myself. And so this was the perfect little experiment, I think, for. just myself as an artist. I like really every week had to think through

how are you going to approach this week and this dance. And also play with sometimes I did the boy choreography, which I would never do. And it ended up being one of my favorite seasons creatively. And yeah. Yeah. It was so much fun. Yeah.

Well, because you're also reimagining a genre of dance that has a longstanding tradition of how it should look. Right. And it was cool to see. that it can still, you know, respect the genre without, and still reimagine it at the same time. Yeah. Like looking at it with like a fresh set of eyes almost because it was like, you've done this for so long, but you've never done that. Yeah, for sure.

And it was, yeah, it was the scariest thing. And before it started, I was like, why did I say yes to this way? I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. But also, I think it had to do with the responsibility of this was such a big moment for the show, like having the first same-sex pairing. And I just didn't want to let anybody down or let this moment down, let Jojo down with the show down. But it was the best. It was exactly what I needed at that moment in time for sure.

That's cool. And again, so much conversation about sexuality, got connected to it. Same way when there's a guy and a girl dancing. And my thing is like, yes, that is an element that, sure, you know, we don't. have to just completely negate, but that is such a small part of what makes this thing so special, you know, what makes dance so awesome. And the fact that that is always kind of like the go-to that overshadows all the hard work, all the creativity, all that, you know. Totally. So for me, that was what was cool is to kind of, because I love dance, I love ballroom

dance, and I really love to see it in a different way, different performed in a different different way. Yeah. That's super cool. Yeah. You did it. Thanks, babe. I'm done with all my questions. None of those questions were even on here. I was just want to. Yeah, I wanted. I wanted all. Well, you have to come to the show this season. Great. It's the best. I'll come all the time. I'm available. It's every Monday. So, great. You'll be there. Yeah, literally, it's just, you like, walk in and I'm just like sitting there the first person in there. I'm looking on a Sisee every week. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, I'm I want to say congrats on the new baby.

Thanks. Oh, my gosh. What has parenthood been like? I'll let her take the lead because she does most of the work. No, I want to hear also your thoughts, though, too. I mean, I'll start. Okay, fine. It is the absolute best thing ever.

It is so exhausting. Yeah. And we were even talking about this this morning. He was like, man, I'm just so tired. And somehow you wake up and you just have. so much energy to do it. Because there's this little light beam staring at you and just looking into your soul,

like, I'm all he ever needs. And it just gives you the energy that you need. And it's the best. It's, oh. It's great. Yeah. It's wild. It's great.

It's probably different for everybody. Yeah. We're very fortunate to have, you know, some means to have some help along the way where it's not, you know, like the first thing we thought about were, how single moms do this. Yeah. Multiple kids, it's like,

while having a job, it's unbelievable. It's so much respect. I literally cannot believe it. I don't know how. Yeah. I took him with me to buy, you know, to run some errands today. This morning. By himself.

By himself. Like for the first time, I had to take like a 20 minute meditation just to kind of like get myself ready. You know, so to think what they go through. So, yeah, no, it's a lot. It's a lot on the, on the woman for sure, especially. on Jen, but it's also, yeah, the most rewarding thing. Most difficult things are the most rewarding things.

And this one is definitely up there in both. We'll have to show you this video. We did a little family shoot yesterday. And Val one day came home and he had this mini baby Yankees hat. Val wears the Yankees hat like almost every day. He has them like in every color. He's very proud. Very proud.

It's not about the Yankees. It's about the New York. The New York. Yes. Yes. Anyway, so there's this little picture of the two of them in Yankees hat and I, I died. He is, well, first of all, our baby realm is the chunkiest baby you've ever seen. He is so cute. He's, wait, how old is he? He's only four months, but he, like, eats one-year-olds, like, beyond. He's so chunky. So his cheeks are like, less big with a little hat on and it's the best.

It's been super fond. And it's fun to kind of reimagine parenthood as well, because, you know, we have examples of our parents. Yeah. You know, they're incredible examples. We're very fortunate with awesome parents. But they did it at a different time on different circumstances and with different means. And like I said, with different like society norms as well. So it's awesome to see Jen back at it doing podcasts, you know, working, like looking incredible and feeling mentally.

strong and ready to pursue her life. Yeah. You know, where it's, yeah, I think our parents, you know, struggled with that. It was a different time. So for us, no, we want to kind of create both, like, take care of our responsibilities as parents, but also make sure there's enough time left for her to take care of her own self and me to take care of her. But yeah, it's been super.

It's been really fun. For me, it's also been incredible for our relationship. And I, you know, there's a, like, a toxic way of, you know, having a child in order to bring a relationship together. I don't think that's productive necessarily. We were in a beautiful place when we had a child. Yeah. quadriple, you know, in all aspects. And it's, yeah, it's wild because you don't have any time for each other.

Like, I'm thinking back to all of our years that it was just the two of us. I'm like, wow, we had so much amazing time together. Right. We did everything. And then you barely have time to see each other. Maybe that's why the love elevates. Probably. There's less time spent together.

But it's, you just, yeah, love, like. It's been great. Knock on wood. You know, it's awesome. Our wonderful time said that same thing. I think also seeing your partner as a father or as a mother, I think is also just a little dream come true. Seeing that responsibility take on. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Wait, so I'm trying to do the math. What was his birthday? Because I feel like he's close to one. I don't know. January. January 10th. Okay.

A little before me. Okay. January 10th. That's my mom's birthday. No way. Yeah. She's literally lovely, but very stubborn. She actually is the loveliest human actually to ever watch.

She's actually insane. Yeah, on February. Got it. Okay. Close. But I do want to touch on, and obviously, I answer this how you want, or we can take it out. But a lot of our friends have struggled with infertility miscarriage. And I know that those were a part of your journey before.

What was that? Like, because I know that I think I've read that you even. and just kind of stop trying to get pregnant before you ended up getting pregnant this time. Yeah, it was, and it sucks because I think we, once you have your mindset on, we decided like, oh, we're ready to start having a child. I think we thought, oh, we're just going to get pregnant. And then that's that. Well, because in high school, they told me if I look at somebody without, you know,

she's getting pregnant. Right. Yeah, it's little that I know. So I think we got very, very excited and like our hopes were so, so high. And so we started trying. And much to our surprise, it just wasn't really happening. And then you start to question yourself. You start to question each other.

Like, are we doing this right? Yeah. And then our friends started getting pregnant right, left and center. And then it just adds a level of pressure and stress and sadness. And then again, the conversation is so when are you guys going? gonna have a child and all these questions answering that.

And you're just like, oh my gosh, we're trying, but you don't want to say that. Anyway, so it took us about a year and we finally ended up getting pregnant.

It also kind of just like ruins sex for you. And not ruins it, but I feel like we've always loved our sex life. And it's been such a sacred thing for us. And then it just became like scheduled and a job.

You know, and I didn't feel as connected to each other anyway. Well, talk about AI taking over your life. Like, there was an app that was telling me when we needed to do this. Yes. It was on a schedule. It was just a lot. It was the worst. But I ended up getting pregnant, and it was so exciting.

The best feeling sensation in the world. And then being able to tell him. And then I ended up miscarrying. And I had never really heard that word. Like, it's such a taboo, like, scary word that I never just heard thrown out casually. And so then coming to terms with, oh, I just experienced a miscarriage. There's something definitely wrong with me. But no one could find answers to why or what had happened.

Yeah. But also that high to low emotional rollerbusters. I can only imagine. Yeah. It was just, and she's glowing. And, like, I mean, it's crazy. Her whole aura started to change. Like, overnight.

Immediately. Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, and then the lowest. Yeah. And you just feel so helpless in that moment. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah, I experienced some miscarriage.

And for me, I was like, you know what? In order to feel good again, I want to get pregnant right away. Like, we've got to keep trying. We've got to keep trying. So I put this pressure on us to like keep trying. And I don't think I fully accepted what had happened or like grieved through it properly. So it honestly made me spiral And I was just like spiraling

I got super super depressed I was just not myself I was like a shell of a human being And it was actually Val that was like You know I think we should kind of take a break And at the time I was really upset at him And like really emotional Not upset but I was just like you don't want this

Like this has been our dream We almost had it blah blah blah But I think he knew that like I was not in a good place. I just wasn't. And we ended up deciding to take like six months off. We didn't put a number on it. We were just like, let's take a break.

So we didn't even talk about it. We didn't think about it. Obviously I did. But, you know, we just wanted to enjoy each other and like reconnect as, as friends, as lovers, like partners, each other was just our priority. And then about six months later, we went to this trip in Cabo, just so carefree.

I mean, now I know why the whales go down there. Oh, my gosh. Only go for mating down there. OMG. Is that why we went? No, it's for my birthday. But seriously, and they always say it, like when you're least expecting it

and when you're not thinking about it, it just happens. And I got pregnant on my birthday, and yeah, it was great. But this struggle to get there was exhausting. It was just, it was rough. Yeah.

Yeah, but you know, what helped was just hanging out with friends and starting the conversation. Again, this wasn't my conversation I have. So, you know, obviously I was letting her lead the way on when she was ready to talk about it. But once she was ready, you know, I'm very emotionally available to my friend. So I was like, you know, this happened. It's been taking a toll. And they were like, one of my friends was like, dude, me and my wife tried for five years before we had our twins. And then we started, you know, we had to do the IVF thing.

I was like, really? He was like, yeah. My other homey was like, yeah, we had two miscarriages. We tried for over two years. I'm like, what? That was like, why doesn't anybody telling me these things? Exactly. And that was the saddest, but most beautiful part.

And they have kids now. They've had kids for some time, you know, but I never knew how they got to that place. Well, that was the wild part is you just learned that it's such a common thing. Yeah. And no one really talks about it. And it's happening all the time. It's one and every four women will experience a miscarriage. I was going to bring that up.

Yes. And so that also made me feel way more seen and understood. And then there's a massive community that I didn't know about on YouTube, on social media. And a lot of people are super vulnerable and open to sharing their experiences. Yeah. And that helped me heal a ton. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I think that's why I wanted to wait until we had our baby because I just, well, Europeans in general are very superstitious. Like, oh, M.G. So superstitious. And so I wanted to wait until he was actually here before I opened up about it. But I knew that I wanted to share our story because I think it is super important for people to know that you are never alone in this. Yeah.

And it is just so common. And it gets better. Yeah. Because eventually it does. And it's going to suck. in the process, but once you have your little baby, that journey is so worth it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's something that we've, I mean, obviously, our friends now are starting. We either have friends that are just starting to have kids or like older and have kids. So, like, we didn't really, like, know much, like, about just, like, pregnancy journey, but our best friends, like, struggled with infertility for a brilliant long time. Like, years. Like, they tried for years. And they've been very, they've talked about this publicly.

But they did like several rounds of IVF, years of trying and just was like, it was horrible. But then they finally got pregnant. They had their son last year. They were told they were never going to naturally be able to have children. Stop. Fast forward. They have their son. He's just a little over a year.

And we get a phone call. FaceTime. From them at the beginning of this year. Weren't even trying. And it just happened. And now they have another little one. When they were told they never be able to get pregnant. And they naturally got pregnant.

Spent three, four years trying to get the first. It's, yeah. I've heard so many stories like that. Even our sister-in-law, she had three miscarriages. She has a son that they got pregnant their first time. He's six now. They tried for years. She had three miscarriages, and a round of IVF didn't take.

Wow. Naturally got pregnant. Yeah. Randomly just. It's something that's just like so, even it was so random. Two couples that were at our wedding both were pregnant at our wedding, but then ended up miscarrying. Right. After the same time. And we both found, I just got chills thinking about that again.

We both found that out separately. And we were like, is it that like common? And then we started really learned. It's so common. But there's still so much stigma around, like, as women, like, losing this thing, like, you're growing inside of you. Like, am I not adequate enough? Yeah.

But in reality, it's so normal. Yeah. Like, it's nothing that you can do sometimes. It's just the science of how things are working in there. The whole pregnancy thing in general, you don't know what it's, how your body's going to react until you start trying. Yeah. And until you're actually pregnant.

Yeah. And that's the sad thing. Not sad, but we were just like, oh, why did we wait so long? because it ended up taking us a little bit longer, but it all worked out how it was meant to. Yeah. No regrets. Maybe you guys already answered this,

but what would you say is the biggest thing you learned about yourselves as individuals and as a couple through that journey? Yeah. During that journey, actually, was the first time that I did therapy and that I actually started therapy. And I think also, I think we've definitely come a long way with the stigma towards therapy and mental health in general. But I think that it was a big reminder that I need to check in with myself and I need to take care of myself. Even in those moments that I'm super high.

Yeah. Because I am going to have those really low moments and I don't want to be all the way rock bottom once they hit and not have the tools to be able to navigate that. So I think that that was a really big eye-opener for me is how important therapy is and what a blessing it was for me at the time. And I think it really helped transition to my mindset that got me into an okay space to then let my body relax and get pregnant, honestly. Yeah. I mean, just what an incredible husband I am. You do have to rely on each other a lot. And he was there for me for a lot of dark days and times.

And I'm... Yeah, I mean, I learned a lot. I don't know what to pinpoint to, but, you know, at the end of the day, we're kind of useless in the process, you know? Men, you mean? Yeah. So I didn't feel like I was taking on the kind of the bulk of the tragedy, right? I mean, it really was around her, you know, for her to handle.

and I was just trying to be supportive, but like I said, the hardest thing about the miscarriage moment is the helplessness, you know, so. But yeah, I mean, I guess the one thing I learned about us is that, and I don't know if it applies, you know, medically if it like checks out or applies to others, but like when we love each other and when we're happy and when we're in a good space,

you know, we got pregnant, we can accomplish anything. And so I think checking in with ourselves and then with ourselves, I think is really important. Yeah. What advice would you give to someone that is maybe like in the sick of it right now,

similar to what you guys went through? I would say to open up and reach out to people because the more that you talk about it and find others that are going through your same experience, you're going to feel a lot lighter. And even just venting helps a lot. And, you know, I think finding those people with shared experiences also just gives you an example to look to and be like, okay, you know, they're coping this way.

Maybe I can also try that. I don't know. So not put so much pressure on yourself. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, again, I'm sure time is of the essence. But also don't be a time.

And if you're not ready to share, that's totally fine. But I do think it really does help and find a community that will help you. Even if it's you silently looking up YouTube videos at night and watching people talk about it, that also helps me. You know, I would sit there and just like watch these videos. And they didn't know I was watching it, but these anonymous people helped me a ton at that time. So yeah, I just reach out if you're comfortable and open up. It really does help. And just keep on.

Having some sex. Head and Cabo. Head to Cabo. To wear the whales. Follow the whales. Follow the whales. A one-way ticket to Cove. Too much.

Okay. Transitioning off of that, I wanted to ask both of you, but Jenna, you specifically, because you've opened up and talked about struggling mentally and specifically when it comes to comparison. And this is something that. a lot of people, I feel like in our generation, deal with today. I myself deal with and struggle with. I just, you know, think with social media and you comparing your life to somebody else's highlight real. Yeah. Yeah.

It's horrible. Could you share a little bit more about your journey with comparison and what helped you throughout that? I think I'm still on that journey. to be fair. But as a girl and being a dancer, I mean, you know, Tay, we spent all day

staring at ourselves in a mirror. You know, and you're just like picking apart your body. And I think a lot of my comparison had to do with body image things. And I never experienced

this sort of insecurity towards my body until I started dancing with stars, honestly, which is kind of terrible. But I think on the show, on the show, you know, we are half naked dancing around. And that's also when the height of social media

started to happen. It's also when we started finagling, if you will. And a lot of his fans weren't so happy about it because they wanted him with anybody else but me. And so I would just get annihilated. And at the time, I also was going through some like hormonal imbalances that made my body really fluctuate with weight. And it just took a toll on me. And it was the first time that I ever was like, wait, is there something wrong with my body? Cut two, I learned a lot during that time and found a healthy relationship with food and exercising. It's when I started to get into exercising. Then it became a little bit of an obsession to a fault because I think I was always trying to reach this perfection of what I thought that was in my head.

And trying to appeal to others. Like you said, there's highlight reels every day of people's feeds. And how do you keep up with that? Yeah. And it's not realistic. Like, that's the thing. It's not. But again, it's a journey.

You have to learn. And you know what's so funny. I was just thinking we were kind of actually talking about this today. I just follow people uglier than me. That's how you do. That's how I do. Don't follow anybody that's handsome or successful. I do think being pregnant and postpartum has made me more confident than ever.

I love that, which is weird because I was the biggest I'd ever been. Your body is, you're in a foreign body. It's huge, but it's so beautiful. It's carrying a freaking child in there. And everything expands, but you're just like, feel like you're superwoman. And then even giving birth, I, postpartum is a trip because you still don't feel like you're in your own body. Yeah. But now the human is outside.

You're like, oh, wait, this is now my new body. And it's a little bit jigglier and rollier. And I've truly never felt so confident in myself. And I have like less time. You know what it is? I have less time to obsess over myself or to like tear myself down. Right. And the less time I think you obsess over that or pick it apart, you're just happier.

Yeah. It's crazy. Like, I haven't been to the gym in this whole week and in my past life before children. I would be devastated. And I'd be like, I can't even go through the day. Like, I would just be anxious and so uptight. And now I'm just like, it's great. I ate today.

I cleaned my room. and I have the cutest little human throwing up all over me, and I'm so happy. Yeah. I think there's a big deal of gratitude in our life that's helping us cope with a lot of insecurity. Definitely. And, you know, when you commit yourself to being of service to someone else, I think that also alleviates a little bit of that anxiety. Sure. Right now, obviously we're of service to this young life.

I think it's preoccupying us. Yeah. And just in general. So that's always been my vehicle. Definitely. I definitely also, I mean, I wouldn't say I struggle with that, but I think we all struggle to with it to some degree. You know, my arrogance and self-esteem definitely hold me up there.

Yeah. But no, the truth is, yeah, every time I feel that way, I just, instead of thinking of all the things that I don't have, I try to focus on all the things. that I can share and take the opportunity to share them, you know, and help somebody. I think last little thing, too, to also help my, I feel like I've learned to not care as much about what people think. And. But how? I know, it's hard. We're literally on a show where we're campaigning. Yeah. You know. And we literally get judged. Like our craft gets judged. That's what I was telling Taylor is like, I, my joke is like, during nursing school, like, people would like get offended if

their teachers would say something. And I'm like, I take criticism so well because I literally would get yelled, chairs thrown at me, like, spit at, like, wouldn't dance because that's like, that's just the nature of it. That's how you get better. Yes, that's truly is how. But like, it's so true that you're, you're judged your entire life. You're constantly being like, oh, your body needs to look like this more or you need to do this better. Like, it's constantly like that. And you're constantly comparing, oh, this person has a better turnout or they're like, it's an entire of the mine or whatever it may be, you know. I think it's just really just coming into terms with caring less about what people have to say

and having more confidence in myself overall, which is really, really tough because it still affects me. But I don't think it affects me as much as it did. I was saying it's tough to not care what people say. I just think it's just caring about the right people and what they say, not caring about everybody. I mean, especially if you have a huge. following, like, that's a lot of people. Yeah. You know, I don't think we've evolved as humans, because we need validation, we need approval

from our community. We, that's what makes us human. Yeah. We want to congregate. We want acceptance and we want to feel like we're part of something. Yeah. I think social media has exponentially expanded that to a degree where I don't think is healthy and our minds can process correctly.

Yeah. Before all of this, I mean, your community was like 100 people tops. Yeah. Right. And throughout the day, you interacted with maybe 30 people tops, you know? Even if you lived in the city, like how many people are you actually interacting with throughout your day? Every single day. You know, so this is a very new phenomenon.

And if this generation is struggling with mental health, it's not because there's anything wrong with this generation. It's because we're given completely different parameters to live in. Yeah. And this is all part of that. We're all figuring this out. You know, this is like when they used to prescribe smoking in the 30s, you know, for whatever. It took some time to realize that wasn't good for us. I think, you know, some, I don't want to use the regulation word, but some sort of moderation to social media access.

Right. I think is in the near future, hopefully. I hope so. at least the amount of time we were exposed to that. I'm not saying cancel it, but like give us a weekend off. You know,

like we're just shut down. That's it. It's not open. Yeah. You know, we're okay with things. Instagram's closed for the day. Yeah.

It's so true though. Like said, we talk about it a lot in our personal life on the show, just like the effects that social media has. And even just like your phone, getting work emails at 8 p.m. 9 p.m. 10 p.m.

And then, like, responding to it. Like, you shouldn't be doing that at that time. But it's so normal for us because everything is in the palm of our hand. Yeah. And like, see it. It's like so hard to like ignore it. Yeah. And I thought I was being good with like setting boundaries of like, okay, like only going

on Instagram or TikTok for this amount of time, whatever. But I didn't realize that like my phone is like like texting is like obviously like my main thing for work. So I've like management. My production team. Everyone's texting at once. And like I've been having to. as much as I love that they're always working

because I am always working in my head. But just having, like, I need to put my phone on Do Not Disturb at, like, 8.309. I need to remove myself on that. That deserves a prize. You know, how they give, like, Pulitzer Prize for whoever invented. Do not disturb.

You won. The guy that said, keep watching, five-second countdown on Netflix, you know, he killed his. And now this guy who created the Do Not Disturb thing. Because- Or woman. Probably a woman, honestly. Because there is that guilt of not responding, right?

So somebody, your colleague, texts, who's something important. Whether you need to address it right now or not is irrelevant, you want to give them some sort of response. And this option is like perfect. You're like, sorry, I am sleeping. Actually sleeping today. Yeah. Very true. But yeah.

And back to the generation thing, you know, it's. It's like, I mean, I have my things with this generation, but it's not a generation thing. It's like I see it with my parents. Yeah. For the longest time, they were very distant from social media and technology like that in general. Now they got Facebook and Instagram. You know, again, because I got them like, they're their own thing because so that they could follow our life. Yeah.

Yeah. And they're like, it's not good for them. I see the change in my mom. Yeah. My mom used to read a lot more. That was her thing. If she's just sitting around, she'd read a book. Now she's doing that same thing.

It is true. That is very true. Right? Yeah. We know that. Yeah. We get a lot of videos from our parents. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We get a lot of Instagram links. Did they send you these videos and memes? I think they also just spend a lot of time on it. Yeah. Very much like keeping up with us. Yeah, that is the thing, like keeping up with, I mean, even though I talk to them all the time. But that algorithm, we'll get them.

That algorithm, man, they'll get you. Okay, so we have three questions that we ask, we try to ask couples every time they come on. But I have a fourth one that I'm adding in. I want to know how the adjustment has been, you guys kind of talked about it, just like not having time, like, for the two of you with the baby now. Because that's, like, that's something that I, like, we're not ready to have kids yet, but that's, something I think about, like, I really want to nail down our, like, time. And then I know when I have a kid, everything that we have nailed down is going to fly out the window. But how have you, like, had time or how have you been working towards or what tips or how have you been able to

prioritize, like, the two of you or alone time? I think exactly what you said. You do have to prioritize it and make time for each other or write out a schedule of like, we're going to do a date night on this day. I think a beauty of working together is now I think we appreciate that a little bit more and take advantage of spending that time together. But it's hard. And when I was pregnant towards the end, I started, and I said it to you a few times, I started getting like a little anxious about grieving our life together. Yeah. Because we had done so much and traveled together. And I loved our alone time together. Like it was so special. He is a lot of fun.

You seem like it. But I was like, and I felt a little bit guilty. Like, am I going to be okay not just having the two of us forever? Yeah. And I think you just, you're way more present when you have those moments together. Yeah. And you take advantage of it. So I think just prioritizing it and making it a point to just have one on one time.

Yeah. And getting past the stigma of prioritizing. yourself. I think there's stigma in that. Again, if you grew up in a healthy environment, there's a good dose of that unhealthy stigma. Because our parents sacrificed everything for us. They never made time for themselves. And so for us, that's the example. But it doesn't necessarily mean that that's the right example to set because I think down the line, down the road, your marriage will suffer if you don't prioritize it. For sure.

And so, you know, and from there, everything else will collapse as well. So I think it's really important that we prioritize time together and continue to, you know, fall in love together. Yeah. That's a perfect segue to the second question here. How has your individual struggles impacted your relationship? For better or worse. Yeah, right? Well, no, a lot of personal stress that I bring home, as I know for sure has impacted our relationship and her view on things.

You know, we come from very different backgrounds. So, you know, just learning to, again, for her to learn to cope with the challenges that I have in my life that she necessarily didn't have to face. and vice versa, you know, the things that she goes through. I have now taken ownership of to some degree as well and we kind of help each other in that way. I think also when we're not taking care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, that's when we find our more conflicting times. When I am constantly meditating, praying,

doing self-care for myself and taking self-care for myself and taking seconds for myself to like be okay. I am such a better wife, friend, daughter, mother. I just know that. And so I think always checking in with myself, I'm a better partner for him. Yeah. I don't know if I'm answering your question, but yeah, I liked it all.

Okay. Whatever it was, it was great. It was to squeeze. Yeah. It was juicy. Okay. Next I have, how do you support the other person when they're struggling? Mm.

it's kind of like read the room. I know, I just know when he's not okay. Yeah. And even though he'll tell me, I'm fine, I'm fine, and he'll do it like a little passive-aggressively. And I'm like, okay, he's not fine. He's not fine. Right.

Clearly. Um, I just, I try to give him space, I think also because I think he's not as comfortable in that moment when he's feeling a certain type of way, opening up, like he needs a little bit to digest it himself. and like internally battle himself for a couple hours. And when he's ready, then he'll come tell me or open up. So I think just understanding that and not being like nagging on him, like, are you sure you're not out of me?

Are you sure you're not at me? I know helps him. There's also things that I want to take care of myself. Yeah, I know. Which for me, I would rather him share everything so I can help take on that load. But that's just what makes us different in that way. It's different. It's probably.

things that I still need to improve on, you know, be more vulnerable, be okay with being more more vulnerable in certain things, be okay with like dropping the ball as a man in that department. You know, but still, in my mind, I, you know, there's certain things that I just want to take care of still. Yeah. But I think in those moments too, I always try to make him laugh. Because I know if I like make him laugh in a certain way, will like get a giggle and we'll both feel better. I feel like you guys have a lot of laughter relationship. We do.

Getting sense. Okay, last question, and then we'll get you on your way. Is there any habit or routine you would encourage other couples to incorporate into their relationship? Hmm.

This is good. It's all different. I mean, for us, actually, it's so silly, but working out together really added value to our, relationship because it's something that we both like to do. Obviously, I think if you love to do it for yourself, by yourself, you could do that.

But even when we go together, it's not like we're talking the entire time. You could still have your own space, but it's just been helpful for us. Just another, like, I guess, ground that we share. I agree with that. I love working out with you and you know that I wish we did it a lot more often. Okay, we will. Even I think just like making the trip over there, you know, showing up together and having like a shared purpose.

Yeah. It's fun. And we're also psychotically competitive. So it's like also fun to like be competitive. Something else that I feel like recently has become a habit is we kind of do a check-in at night where we'll go outside on our patio and turn on a fire and just talk. And we'll try not to talk about work, but just have conversations. And some of those moments are my favorite moments together.

And we're super tired. And no matter how late it is, you know, he always, he loves sitting outside. And it's, I think it's really good for us. Yeah. Just like unwind together and just talk. Yeah. As life becomes more burdensome or at least more responsibilities show up on your plate, I think it's just tapping into the dating version of YouTube.

I think we'll always bring value into your relationship. Like, you love each other and you have all these things that you've built together. But do you like each other? You know, do you like spending time together? Do you still make each other laugh or whatever it is that you like about a person? I think making sure that you still like one another is important. Yeah. That was really good, guys.

Thanks. I know, about the whole time you're saying that. I was like, we're going to sit outside together tonight. Right? Yeah. I was jotting notes down. Oh yeah. Again, I have to, I have this problem with having the computer in front of me. I want to take notes a half the time. Like when someone says something good, I always write it down.

Oh, that's so cute. And I have to be like, put my hands in my armpits and not. I'm not like taking notes. We have it recorded. Yeah, you can watch it later. Oh, my gosh. All right. Well, thank you for joining us, guys. Thank you so much. Thanks for having. Thanks for a job. It's really easy. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you guys so much for listening and watching this episode of the Sweet As always, you can follow us at The Squeeze. You can follow us at Taylor Laughtner at Taylor Lautner. What else am I missing? Our email. Our email. Latner.com. Letner.com.

Go ahead and leave us emails there. You guys have been flooding that inbox. So thank you so much for all of your ears. Great suggestions. Keep them coming. Yeah. Advice, what you're liking, what you're not liking. Any thoughts you have will take it all. Yeah.

We will. And as you head into the rest of your love, Wednesday or whatever day it is that you are listening to this, I want to challenge you to go tell one person that you love them. I like it. Yeah. I love you. Bremi, I love you.

I knew he was going to do that. We'll see you guys next week. I love you, too. Bye, guys. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.