The Squeeze - Kelsey Anderson: Carving Her Own Path

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

This week, Tay returns for another girl-talk episode, this time featuring Kelsey Anderson! Kelsey opens up about her upbringing and shares her journey of losing her mom to breast cancer, including the tools that have helped her navigate grief and how her mom’s passing reshaped her perspective on life. She delves into the challenges of transitioning from The Bachelor to life in the public eye, revealing how she and fiancé Joey Graziadei support each other through all of the ups and downs. Kelsey also talks about her close friendship with fellow contestant Daisy Kent, her approach to rising above comparisons, and how she’s building her own identity beyond the show. Wrapping up, Kelsey reflects on her experiences during Joey’s Dancing with the Stars journey, her most surreal “pinch me” moment, and the accomplishments she’s most proud of this year!Be sure to follow Kelsey on Instagram https://instagram.com/kelseyanderson/!For breast cancer resources, we suggest checking out:https://www.breastcancer.org/https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram:The Squeeze:  https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/Tay Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylautner/Taylor Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/& TikTok:  https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow  https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Get 25% off + free shipping on Roots Focus at drinkroots.com with code SQUEEZE. Visit drinkroots.com for details.Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop for person this season at saks.com.Get JackBlack.com/SQUEEZE and use code SQUEEZE for 10% off your order.Visit DrinkCulturePop.com and use code SQUEEZE at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.Discover Drunk Elephant’s Protini Polypeptide Cream at Ulta Beauty stores and online at ulta.comVisit Justingredients.us and use code squeeze for free shipping on your order.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Whenever Joey and I are talking about, like, the wedding or, like, things like that, it makes me sad to know that, like, she's... My mom was just, like, the kindest person. She took anybody in. We had foster kids growing up. My mom just had the biggest heart and always took care of everyone around her. When was she diagnosed?

She had, like, radiation, like, pills that she would take. But she was having to take, like, morphine every day. Like, her bones were breaking in her sleep. And she, like... After a month, she had a... She had a stroke. She didn't really know who anyone was and she was really scared. Or like my dad would try and like bathe her or something and she was like terrified.

I guess what did those first few months look like and how do you feel it's evolved? Like at the beginning I just wanted to push it all the way. I didn't want to think about it. I was just going out all the time. I was eating terrible. I was drinking a lot. Towards the end. My mom wouldn't want me to be like this.

I think I want to like emulate my mom and like, bring her joy and reminds me that the wedding is about him and I and, like, the people that we love most being there. And it's not about, like, all of the extra bells and whistles that come sometimes with all that stuff. Kelsey? Welcome to the squeeze. I'm so happy to be here. So fun. I'm so excited that we're doing this because I've been wanting to do this for, like, a really long time. I know. I feel like my schedule has been all over the place, but I'm excited that we finally got to do this. I know. I actually feel like it happened when your schedule is probably like the craziest. Yeah. Well, you know, sometimes it just happens like that, but I'm having to

hear it. We love it. Okay. So we start each episode off with this jar. It's a little game called Citrus Got Real. Okay. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there. She's got some questions in her. I know it's so hard. It's scared. Let's see. Oh my gosh. What is the weirdest food combination that you love. Okay. The immediate thing that came to my mind actually is I love getting a turkey slice and then putting cream cheese on it. Yes. And then a pickle. Oh, and then wrapping it up, like wrapping the pickle up around with the cream cheese and the turkey. Oh my gosh. That was like my childhood. My dad would always make like cream cheese roll-ups. Oh yeah. That was like what we would call them. Put a pickle in it. If you're a pickle girl.

I'm a big pickle girl. So yeah, it's it's really good. But Joey, I've tried making him try it the other day and he was like absolutely not. Like what what is the turnoff for him there? I think just the combination of it all. He's got to try it. Have him try it without the pickle maybe. I think that honestly it might be the cream cheese that freaks him out about it. Does he not like bagels and cream cheese?

Does he not like happiness? I don't know. That's a good question. That's why you're here, not him. Oh my gosh. That's funny. I don't know what mine would be. I'm just like a sauce girl.

Yeah. Like I love dipping things. Ranch is like the go to. Ranch is superior. Yeah. So are you a pizza ranch dipper? Yeah, me too. Oh, I would say pineapple on pizza then.

Okay. I like pineapple. I like that too, though. Yeah. Joey likes it, but he was like, as long as you put jalapinos on it. Okay. The spice and the sweet, that's what he likes. Taylor is run for the hills.

Really? He hates, like, if there's fruit and anything of his, he's like, I'm done. Yeah. Like, he cannot do a fruit salad. I want to know. Taylor needed me to ask if you're a Saints fan. I am a Saints fan. Do you watch a Saints fan?

Do you watch? football. Are you just like, I'm actually going to the Saints game in, on next Sunday. Oh my gosh. The Saints versus the Rams in New Orleans, though. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That'll be fun too. Yes. I love New Orleans. I love the culture. I love the people. All my best friends are there. So, I go there a lot. Yeah. How far did you, like, where did you grow up in comparison to? So I went to high school in Leesville, Louisiana. And so it's like four hours away. And then I went to college in Lafayette, Louisiana, and that's two hours away. And then after college, I moved to New Orleans for work. Okay. I kind of want to, like, dive into childhood upbringing,

because you, like, did you travel a lot or did you live in Germany or something like that? Yeah. Okay. What is that? So I was born Louisiana on Fort Polk at the time. Now it's called Fort Johnson. Okay. And then we moved to Germany whenever I was like five, four. And then I was five years old, I think. And then we lived in Germany for seven or six years around there. And then we moved back to Louisiana. I got stationed back on Fort Polk. But yeah, my dad is bilingual. He speaks fluent German. And so, oh, okay, this makes a lot more sense. Because on the show when he started speaking German, I was like, oh, well, that's a fun fact. Like, I didn't, like, I didn't know if he was, like, fully, like, bilingual. That's so cool. Yeah, he's, his German is really good. And so I think that's

part of the reason why we were able to stay there longer than, like, typical. family usually probably only stay there for about three years whenever they get stationed over there. Yeah. But we were there for a little bit longer and then moved back to my dad tried to stay even longer, but they would let him. But also my eldest brother. He's my half brother. Okay. Um, but I love him like a fault. But he, he's half German. His mom's German. Okay. So he has dual citizenship. He has a thick German accent. Oh, wow. Yeah. So did your dad just learn like from being there? Whenever he was 18, he got stationed in Germany. Okay. Um, And he got two Webster dictionaries.

One was in English. One was in German. And he would flip through the pages. They were the exact same. So he would flip through the pages and read the American word and then read the German word. And then he would learn enough words, go to the bar and then practice. Oh, my gosh. And that's how he learned, which everyone says, like his accent, like his German accent, whenever he's speaking it sounds like he's from there.

Like, he's so good. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I was like, pretty cool. That is so cool. I don't know if I could do that. No, I feel like, I feel like us younger generation people, we just, like, could not do that. Right. We got to work on that.

Did your dad ever try to teach you it? No, my dad didn't ever try to teach me. Like, we knew how to get around everything. Like, he taught us how to say, like, thank you, please, things like that. But I always wonder, I was like, why didn't you teach us? I asked my mom the same thing because it's my mom's side that's Greek. And she's fluent and great. Yeah.

I'm like, bro. You're literally right. Didn't care. My nana always teases her soul for not teaching me. I feel like I used to know a decent amount like growing up. I could hear it. I couldn't speak it that well, but I could hear it and like understand what they're saying. I feel like I still kind of can with like when I'm around them long enough. But I know like little things that are like, you know, like numbers or like, you know, manners or like commands of like it's really funny because when Taylor and I are like out in public and instead of like saying look, I'll say it in Greek and he'll like he for some reason it makes them like listen to me quicker, which I'm like maybe I should learn Greek and he'll pay more attention to me. No, just kidding. But if I'm like, babe, look, it like takes him. I feel like a while to look.

But if I stayed in Greek, he's like looking really quick because he knows. He's like it's an emergency. Yeah. It's for real. That's so funny. Wait, how many siblings do you have? I have four. Okay.

Yeah. I have my eldest brother Pascal and then Jordan and then Taylor are my two older sisters and then my little brother Matthew or we call him Mateo. Oh, my gosh. My dad says Matthew we call him Matteo. Oh, really? Oh my gosh. And there's a Taylor in there?

Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, we're like, we are, we are your family. I love that. What was your guys' dynamic growing up? Are you guys like a close family? Did you guys kind of do your own thing? Yeah, we were really close. So my eldest brother, I didn't meet him until he was 18, actually. Okay. Because of his mom. So we weren't able to meet until he turned 18. But my other siblings, like, we were raised, you know, together. And we had family dinner every single night at the dinner table. We were really close. Obviously, but heads a lot. And we all have very different personalities. But also. very similar and I think that that's also kind of why we butt heads. Yeah. But now we all get along pretty well. Me and my little brother are probably the most similar. I love that. Yeah. That's so special. Auto-hue with sunny cars, it feels as if the children

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Head to getjackblack.com slash squeeze and use code squeeze for 10% off your order. Once again, that's get jackblack.com backslash squeeze for 10% off and make sure you use my promo code squeeze so that they know that we sent you. I kind of want to talk about your mom. Yeah. That's all right. I would kind of love to know about her. Like what was she like? Her energy.

Like, what are some things that you loved about her? My mom. So growing up, my mom was just like, she. She brought everyone into the house and made them feel like they were part of the family. I think that that was the quality that I loved most about her. And whenever I was younger, I think that I didn't always realize that I loved it. Like I was like, oh my God, you're being annoying, you know? But now I look back at those qualities and I'm like, I miss them so much.

But she's just like the kindest person. She took anybody in. We had like foster kids growing up, like living with us. And like, you know, kids from school that, you know, didn't have the best living situation that like came in. My mom took them under. she would like pay for kids lunches that you know they couldn't pay for their lunches anymore like she would go and pay off their lunches or things like that like my mom just had the biggest heart and always took care of everyone around her she was also so funny always dancing always making up

songs and like weird dance moves like she had this one dance move called the one paw dog and you just like go like this and she loved to embarrass us like I remember whenever we were in elementary school she would come in wearing like a big old rainbow wig oh my gosh and eat lunch with us, like my siblings. And I was like, oh, my God, I want to die. But she just always was like a ball of energy, so much fun, so positive. And yeah, even like whenever she was really sick, like she was always bringing light into any room that she came into, always telling the nurses how great they were doing. And even though she was like really sick or, you know, not feeling great, I feel like she always made sure that the people around her felt good.

That's so sweet. Yeah. What? Do you think that's just how she always was or was there something growing up? Because I feel like as like a parent you have your own kids to look after it, but like, you know, fostering kids and bringing kids like paying. Was, did anything she grew up with? Like, do you think had an effect on that? She definitely had like a hard childhood growing up. And she always said that, you know, her goal in life was to be a better mom than her mom was to her. My grandma, I think my grandma was, is a great. person, but I think that my grandma had her own struggles in life. And my mom wanted to make sure that we all always felt loved. And, um, like, we were all very important. And my mom, whenever she was younger, she got kicked out of, uh, her house. Um, and she had to live with like a friend, things like that. Uh, she had to join the army because she didn't really have another choice,

kind of, you know, yeah. I think that the army gave her a lot of structure and stuff. That's how my parents met where it's in the army. Yeah. But yeah, I think she had a hard childhood growing up and she was definitely a very protective parent, pretty strict on us. But I think that it's because of how her childhood was growing up for sure. Yeah. Yeah. When, when was she diagnosed? So she was originally diagnosed. I can't remember what year. But she was diagnosed. But she was diagnosed, about five, no, probably more than that. I was in high school whenever she first got diagnosed. And she went through chemo and radiation.

She had a double mastectomy. And then she was in remission for about two years. And then it came back and it metastasized to her bones. So, well, it was on her bones and then metastasized to all her organs. And that's how she passed away. But whenever a cancer moves, for instance, it originally was breast cancer, but then it came back as bone cancer. It's still considered breast cancer because that's where it started. So, yeah. But she had metastatic breast cancer, stage three and four originally. Is that what stage was it at when she caught it? A three than four. Yeah. She had two different. What did she like feel a lump or how did she, like what prompted her to go? Yeah. So it's actually crazy. So she found a lump in her armpit. it like right around here. And I remember she would, she made all of us feel it to know what it felt like and everything. And she, um, she went in and got it checked and they did like some kind of like ultrasound

or some kind of scan like that. And they're like, no, it's, it's benign. Like, it's fine. You're good. And then she had like a gut feeling and she was like, I just, if it's not supposed to be there, like I'd like to get it removed. She got it removed and then found out she had stage three and stage four breast cancer. The type of tumor it was, it was like you couldn't kind of see that it was cancerous or something like that. And so, yeah, so if she would have waited a little bit longer and then, like, the tests came back or whatever, like, who knows how long she would have had, we probably wouldn't have been able to have her for as long as we did, you know? Yeah. But she was really healthy. I mean, not really healthy, but like she went through it well. And, like, in her

remission, she was good. And then whenever it came back in her bones, and it was just really aggressive and she passed away in about, like, three months or so. Does breast cancer or cancer run in your family? So cancer does. Okay. But I'm debating if I, I think I, I think I'm going to get the Braca testing. Yeah. I just talked to my doctor literally like probably two weeks ago about getting it done for a while. I didn't want to get it because I was like, I don't really want to know because I don't want to live my life like scared. Yeah. In a sense. But then at the same time, it's like if I do know if I have the gene, like I could be even more careful and like preventative. And my mom had all of these books. Once the cancer came back in her bones, she quit her job. My dad was going to take out his life or his, like in his work stuff, whatever. He's going to take it all out. They were going to go to Mexico. They were going to do all the testing or like all the research that they could. My mom was watching videos every day, taking notes of anything that she could do. But it just like happened too fast that they weren't able to. Like my dad wasn't able to get the money for them to go do like this intensive like care in Mexico and all.

of this stuff. But they were, they were trying to do all of that. But yeah, I'm honestly, I'm glad that she wasn't having to suffer for as long as I think, they said six months and she passed away in about three. I'm glad that she didn't have to suffer like for two more months because she was, she was like having a really hard time. Yeah. Was she on chemo or anything after it came back? Yeah. She had like radiation like pills that she would take. And everything. But she was having to take like morphine every day. Like her bones were breaking in her sleep. So yeah, it was hard for her.

Yeah. And she like, towards the end. Take your time. You're good. After a month about, she had a stroke and she had a lot of fluid in her brain. So she was just like, she didn't really know who anyone was and she was really scared. So I think that was the hard part just seeing her like not know who was taking care of her. Or like my dad would try and like bathe her or something.

and she was, like, terrified. Like, she didn't know who anyone was. She thought my sister was her sister. Um, and I think that it was just hard for like everyone, especially her. Yeah. Yeah. No, that definitely adds like such a level of, I mean, it's already like hard for the family. And, you know, I worked as a nurse and I got to see like a lot of that.

And I've had, um, family members that have had similar situations to hers. But it is just, it brings. it brings the situation to such a different level. Yeah. When, when that happens, um, obviously I can't imagine like what you've gone through and hearing like how like

wonderful of a woman she is, which I feel like just, you know, makes it that much harder. But how, how has your grieving process been? Like what did, I guess what did those first few months look like and how do you feel it's

evolved? Yeah, I think it's sad. Like, I, you know, you never really, no one knows how to grieve. Yeah. You just kind of figure it out along the way. And a lot of people ask me like, oh my gosh, like how, you know, how are, how do you have this positive outlook on it now? But it definitely took me time to get to where I am now. At the beginning, I was really depressed.

I missed my mom so much. She was like, I was really close to her. We all were. And like at the beginning, I, I just wanted to push it all the way. I didn't want to think about it. I was just going out all the time. I was eating terrible. I was drinking a lot. I was just trying to go out and like take my mind off of everything. I was in college. I started like doing really bad in school. And finally, I think that I just kind of had this like, like, almost like switching my brain. That was like my mom wouldn't want me to, you know, be like this. And so I started. slowly like getting into working out. And I think that honestly that helped me a lot with my mental health and being able to put my frustrations out through like weightlifting or running. And I was able to like while my brain was going crazy, whenever I was working out, I feel like it kind of went

still. Yeah. And that helped me a lot honestly through grieving. And then I started journaling and I started you know, listening to different podcasts or writing letters to her. And yeah, I think that it was just like a slow process, but also looking at it in like the light that my mom would have wanted me to. And honestly, now I'm just like, I feel so thankful that I was able to have my mom for as long as I did because a lot of people never have a mom like mine. So I'm like, I do feel really lucky. And my mom shaped me a lot as a human. She shaped all my siblings. I feel like we all have really big hearts and like want to help others because of the way that she raised us. So special. Yeah. I literally like got lost and everything you were saying. And I completely forgot.

like the question that I was going to ask. But I want to know how, how is your outlook on life changed since surpassing? I think that I just want to make sure that the impact that I leave is positive. And I just want, I think I want to like emulate my mom and like bring her joy and her love for people like in the way that I live my life now. Yeah. I think you do a good job of that. Even just like, I mean, even when I saw you the other day, the dancing with the stars taping, like, just you're like so like, you're just warm and you embrace so. You're like, oh my gosh, hi. Like, I feel like you just have that warm, like energy about you. So you definitely are doing a good job at that. But yeah, it's so grief is such like a crazy thing. And it's something that we talk about. It's probably our most common topic on this podcast, which is kind of crazy. But I think it helps. like it's something that everyone pretty much has gone through or will go through. And it's universal, but at the same time, it looks so different for everyone. So we always like want to ask people that have been on like what their process has been and it is so different for everyone. But I love, this is going to sound weird, but it's going to end better. I love seeing you get emotional about your mom because we had Stacy Chapman, who is one of the moms of the Idaho murder victims on. And she, we were talking about grief. and, you know, she still cries about her son.

And she's like, I'm happy that I do because I still feel. And, like, you know, sometimes I don't want to cry. But it's a reminder to me that I still, like, he's still, like, with me and I still, like, remember, like, how he was in his presence. So I think it's, like, really special that, like, you still have that about your mom. Definitely. I know. I'm like, I do feel, yeah, like, I also feel lucky that I feel this pain because that just

shows the impact of, like, my mom and, like, how much, you know, love. that I have for her and she had for me. And like my grief also, it's like it comes in waves. Sometimes it's like I have a really hard week or like certain things now. It's like whenever I get really, really happy, I sometimes miss her extra. Yeah. Because I wish that I was able to like tell her all these great things or like whatever, Joey and I. Whenever Joey and I are talking about like the wedding or like things like that, it makes me sad to know that like she's not physically going to be. Yeah. Do you feel like that has an effect on how you guys like are wanting to like wedding plan moving forward? Yeah, I think to an extent. I think that it just reminds me that like the wedding is about him and I and like the people that we love most being there. And it's not about like all of the extra, you know, bells and whistles that come sometimes with all that stuff.

Yeah. I have a friend. She lost her dad and it was. very similar thing. She was like, like, what am I going to do? Like, he's supposed to like walk me down the aisle. And like, she's like, I don't even know if I want to have a wedding. And she just had to like remind herself and, you know, after talking with friends and stuff that it is like truly just about like you and your partner that day. Obviously, that doesn't make, you know, so means you're going to miss that person on that day. But like, I think it's important to still like celebrate it.

Yeah. like have, be able to just still have that day for the two of you. Yeah. You know, other people you want to have party with you. I definitely, and I also think about ways that like I could like slightly honor her. And then also like Joey's grandma who passed away recently who, you know, he wishes could have been there for that. Like I think about little ways that we could honor the people that aren't there physically

anymore. But I think that they're still, you know, watching over us and they're going to watch it all just from a different seat. For sure. Honestly, they probably have a better seat. Better seat. Yeah. They're not going to have the rubber neck or anything.

Yeah. Is butterflies your thing with your mom? How did that come to me? I don't know. I just like every time that things would happen that whenever I was thinking about her anything, I would see a butterfly or anything after. So for instance, whenever I got the call that they wanted me to go on The Bachelor, I was a little like, oh, do I actually want to do this?

Because it's a long interview process. I wasn't sure if I was actually going to get asked to me on it. I was like, we'll see what happens. And then I was a little worried. I was like, I don't know what I should do. And then there was like a butter, I walked out of my work and there was a butterfly. That was just, it was flying right in front of it. And I was in the middle of downtown New Orleans.

Like, yeah, I was like, why is there a little butterfly down here? It smells really bad over here. Yeah. And yeah, I think that that was like a thing for me that always, it just kind of like, anytime I feel like I needed her, I would see one. Yeah. Yeah. And I just started noticing them all the time.

On Joey and I's hometown date, there was a butterfly following me around the whole day. And then we were doing separate interviews. And it came over to me. It was flying around me. All the producers were like freaking out. One of them started crying. Like all the camera guys were like in awe. Start flying around me.

And then it went over to Joey and started flying like over to him. And he was like way over there. Wow. It was crazy. I have chills right now. If you're looking for a good soda drink, but just tired of all of the yuckiness that comes in typical sodas? Well, have I got the alternative for you? Culture Pop soda is like a perfect marriage between balance, love child, middle ground,

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on these discounts and new arrivals and get ready to explore the best and natural nourishing products now at prices that are too good to miss. Okay, you touch on Bachelor. I want to talk about it a little bit. I guess more so the after effect of it because I'm always curious how the transition of like coming off the show and the influx of people and opinions and, you know, seeing your name and headlines and all of this stuff. How has that adjustment been for you? Maybe like from when it started to where we are now. Yeah. Well, when it started like whenever I first went on the show like I mean, I was getting. comments about anything, you know, about everything that I had yellow teeth, that like I had like,

oh, my gum, my smile's too gummy, my this is that, my whatever, you know, my hair's frizzy, my hair's crazy. Now people love my hair. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. No, but I think that at the beginning I was really laughing it off. And then after the show, towards the end of the show, whenever the spoiler came out that it was somebody else that Joey was engaged to, my good friend Daisy, that I think that that was. That was, you know, was hard because people were like assuming things and it was like, well, it's not this and it's that. I think that it got really hard for me at the beginning. And then now I've been able to just like let it go. Yeah. But I'm glad that honestly it was like harder at the beginning and now I'm like,

whatever. Yeah. In my mind, people that are, you know, over critiquing me or like being hateful in that way, it's like you need more hobbies. I don't think that people that are really happy Teared out of other people. Yeah. And so honestly, I just, I feel a little bad for the people that are, you know,

being like that. That wanted, like, DM me, like, really crazy things, you know? Yeah. I mean, that's probably the best outlook. It was weird. But I think I've gotten really, really good at, like, just, yeah, ignoring it.

Do you feel like it, um, it was like a lot and then it kind of got quiet and then it got a lot again, not got quiet because you guys are, have not not been relevant but with dancing with the stars it's kind of just like yeah like ignited that fire yeah but honestly like I had already figured out how to like sort through it you know after the bachelor so this was you know easy yeah how do you how do you guys go about that as a couple because I know that's something that Taylor and I have definitely like had to have like navigated to

what your guys is like approach to it and in what sense of like people talking about Yeah, just like giving assumptions or whatever. Yeah. Well, the craziest thing, actually, anytime I go to New York, all of a sudden there's this person that starts messaging Joey, commenting on all of our posts saying how I'm cheating on him, blah, blah, blah. Kelsey's, Kelsey followed this guy on Instagram. I'm like, I'm not a lot of following anyone on Instagram, barely. And I just was, the first time it happened, I was like, Joey, like, I swear, like, this is like, not true. He's like, Kelsey, I, I know. You know, I think that we just trust each other a lot. And I would never be with somebody who I would ever, you know, assume of anything like

that. I think that we both are both, you both are good at communication and like opening up. And if something is bothering me, like, I will tell Joey and he's able to talk through it with me. I don't think it ever really like festeres into much at all ever. That's so good. Yeah. Were you guys big communicators like in previous relationships or is that something you've like really had to learn with this, you know, influx of opinions. I think that Joey has always been really good at communicating. I, sometimes whenever I get overwhelmed, I shut down. And like, I just don't want to talk. Like, I need a moment. And Joey and I did a couple's therapy, right after the show, like, while we were in hiding and everything until a couple months after.

And I think that we really learned how to accept each other's communication styles and how to adapt to them. So Joey knows that whenever, you know, I'm having a hard time, he just needs to comfort me. And then it takes me a minute to come and talk to him usually. But then also I know that whenever Joey's having a hard time, I need to talk to him immediately. But it's, I think that we try to adapt to whoever's having the issue. We adapt to their communication style. Yeah. Yeah. That's so special that you guys learned that. That took Taylor and I minute because he's like, he's the communicator, talk about it right away. Let's get it over with. And I'm the, I just press everything down or for in an argument, I'd like go mute. Yes, I'm the same way. And so us like learning,

like how to go about that. And, you know, Taylor, like, when he would like ask me something and I would be quiet, like, he knows I need a minute to like actually like thinking for him not to get frustrated and I'm not like ignoring him or not like trying to make it feel the way. It's actually just like I'm like trying to like. I feel like I just have a million things going out of my brain. It's hard for me to sort them. So it's like, give me a second to sort through my brain because it's like, I want to say something. But I don't know which one to. pick and it's like yeah and then i'm like and then i started thinking like oh wow it's been like 15 seconds since i haven't said anything oh now it's 20 seconds and then the thoughts are still going i'm like

yeah yeah sometimes i like to write out my thoughts too yeah sometimes i feel like it helps me organize them yeah but i know that that sometimes might take a minute so i'm like no the the notes section in the phone is a good friend uh-huh um do you struggle with comparison at all and you can absolutely say no i don't and that's right no i think i do in some aspects. Yeah. But also I try to under, like, I try to tell myself and like remind myself that just because like this person is great in this way doesn't take away from me being great because I have my own great qualities. Also, Joey's always very like, like I, even though I'm like crazy sometimes, like not in like a like I'm just like that. Like I'm weird. That's the right word.

Sometimes I'm really weird. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm too much for Joey. He's like, no, I love that part about you. And he's really good at like, reassure. me, even though we're very different in a lot of ways, that that's like the qualities that he loves most about me. Yeah. Is our our differences. Yeah. That's so sweet.

I'm curious because I always like wonder this of people coming off the show how like you've been able to like stay friends with Daisy and Rachel and like, I mean, I don't know, Rachel. She seems lovely, but I know Daisy and she just seems like a gym and so do you. And I feel like it might just be easy because you all are like good humans. Yeah. But was that like, was there ever a question of like not being friends? or like how do you approach that? Because that's weird to think about as not like, you know, in normal life.

I wanted to respect Daisy afterwards. So I didn't want to like come to her and be like, hey, what's up? If she needed time because I understood that like the end of all of this was, you know, it's a weird situation. It's like she's my friend. But like, you know, Joey and I ended up together and I wasn't really sure for fully how she felt about it. So I wanted to respect her. So I let her have her time a little bit.

I wanted to text her immediately and be like, hey, how are you? Like, I wish I could give you a hug, like all this. But I felt like just because of the situation we were in, it would have been like maybe weird for her, for her. But ended up, we ended up talking like, I think a couple months after. And she was like, no, I wanted to text you right away too, but I was trying to respect you. Oh my gosh. At the beginning, I think it was a little hard because I was like, oh my gosh, is he sure? Like he wants me?

Like, oh, my God, like, what if he has second thoughts? Like all this stuff. It's like a weird situation. Um, after a certain point, like, of Joey, you know, reassuring me and telling me like, you know, I want this to work. Like, I, like, it was going to be you. It was always going to be you in a sense. Um, I feel like Joey and I had built a lot. And at this point, it's like we've built so much since the show that it's like our relationship compared to any of the women's on the show. It's like it doesn't compare because like you learn the big things on the show. But afterwards, you learn all the little things. And you also learn how to, you know, work together, how to. You know, work together. How to.

communicate together, how to, you know, live life together. Yeah. And so I feel like our relationship doesn't compare to any of those that were on the show. Even though they, you know, he, I'm sure he had big feelings and all these things for these other women. It's just like, it's different now. So I feel like I don't have to wonder or anything. And I feel like very comfortable hanging out with them.

And I think that, you know, they all feel comfortable hanging out with me. I think they do. Okay. I want to talk about dancing with the stars a little bit. because because we have to talk about it. Of course. Did you watch the show before? I never have watched it before.

And now it's like all I, like my whole feed. I'm like watching past seasons on like my TikTok and stuff. No, it's consumed your life. How has this time been, I guess for you and for you guys as a couple, because I know that it is like truly like so time consuming for the contestants. Yeah. At the beginning, honestly, I was like, why are people talking about like Joey? Joey's only practicing four hours a day.

Now it's like all day, every day. And I mean, like, I think that at the beginning, honestly, I'll say that at the beginning was a little difficult, but also it helped us ease into what it is now where he's like all day every day. Yeah. Me being able to figure out my own groove and the things that I want to do. And it's like, when he's training during the week, sometimes I'll, like, go take a trip over here.

I'll go see these friends over there. Yeah. And I'm also like, you know, trying to figure out our house situation. I was like looking for places for us for a couple weeks. And then now I'm trying to find furniture and like, you know, doing all these things of like putting our house together. Setting up the electricity, the gas. Those stuff. All the adult things.

The man job. No day. But yeah, I think that it's been, it's been crazy. But I feel like it's also helped us grow a lot in another sense of like, finding our own things and our own independence within our relationship. Joey's doing dancing and he's crushing it and I'm so proud of him and I know all the hard work that he's putting into it. It's like I want him to be fully committed to this. I wouldn't want to take away from that. Yeah. That's so special. I actually, this made me think about a question that I was thinking about earlier. You saying independence. Being, like just being your own

individual because obviously me being Taylor's wife. I've always, you know, I'm known as the wife, which I absolutely love. It's my biggest badge of honor will ever wear. Like, I will die on that hill. I love being Taylor's wife. But at that same time, you know, I would like to, you know, be invited to an event and not have, be both of us. Or like, I would be, like, I would love to see EverQuest come into, like, do a podcast where it's just me and they're not, like, also wanting Taylor, which I love doing things with him. But at the same time, it's like, who, like, who am I as an individual?

Like, am I worthy? And I feel like that's something that I don't tend to struggle with because Taylor, like, because I love him and we love, I love doing things together. So it's not like, darn it. Like, I'm just the wife. Like, I love doing things with him. But sometimes those thoughts do creep in or like I was at an event once and like, we have the same name. So like our name was like on the thing.

It was my name. And I was like checking in. I was like, hey, Taylor. And then like Lautner. And she was like, oh. and then like let me in. And I was like, okay, well, got it. Like, which like is fine, but sometimes it's just like, dang. Yeah. Um, do you ever struggle with like, with that at all? Yeah. It's funny. I told Joey, I was like, I don't want to, I, like you said, I love being Joey's

fiance, but I don't want to just be known as like Joey's fiance or like the bachelor winner or like anything like that. It's like I want us to have our own individual things and our own individual like, I don't know, like, I don't, I don't want us to always just be a unit. I was told my team that I was like, I don't want to, there's a, there's a point where it was like the deals that I was getting. It was all like, Joey and Kelsey. And I was like, I am also my own individual self. And it's like, I don't want to always have to do all of this together, even though we are a unit. But it's like, I also want to be, you know, have our own things as well. I think that's important. And any relationship is like, you know, having your own things. So, yeah, I think that. I think that,

But one of the only reasons why I wanted to do, and I'm like kind of interested in doing another TV show, is just to also be known as myself, you know, because I feel like, you know, Joey was on The Bachelorette and then he was The Bachelor. And now he's on Dancing with a Star. So I'm like, he kind of has his like separate identity a little bit. And I think that I've been able to kind of form that through social media alone, just through like my TikToks and stuff. I love being Joey's fiance. But I also want to be known as, you know, Kelly. see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's now denying internet. So don't come after us. We love our men very much. But no, it's, and it's something that I feel like you kind of have to be intentional about because like,

because Taylor and I are best friends. And we love like, like, we literally do everything together. So it's like hard when it's like, you know, even this podcast, we're like, oh yeah. Like we like, we like do everything together. Like we do it all together. And then it's like, wait, actually like, like, we have to be mindful. Like, okay, this is going to be yours. This is going to be like my, like how we like do things. And like sometimes in the moment, it's like, Like, we both want to do it. Yeah, because he's your best friend. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, it's, and also with you, y'all share the same name. I know. I know. I know. We're just like really intertwined over here. Really intertwined. But I know. Yeah. And I think that like adds like another silly layer to like all of this for me that I like didn't like think about. Like sometimes I'm like, should I have just like kept my name? I'm like no. I never wanted to. Yeah. What is your main name? Dome. Dome. Yeah. That's cool last name. So I'm excited to be gratisia day though. I'm like, gratia. It's a little bit more interesting than Anderson. He's Anderson No, wait, actually it's funny

My sister She dated a Taylor in high school Oh really? Yeah, my sister Taylor Yeah, like they were Taylor squared Oh my gosh, that's funny The finale was last night Mm-hmm, quote unquote

And we're big on manifesting here Yes What would you like to say To Joey after he won last night? I always knew it, babe I always knew you were gonna win from the first moment. I ever saw this hip shake.

You knew it. I knew it. It's actually crazy how good of a dancer he is. When I was talking to Jenna, I was like, even I think the first couple weeks, like, it was obvious. But when I went, I think it was like week four that I went. And like seeing him in person too, I was like, wait, like, because you never know with like the cameras and how they move. Yeah. They definitely like make things look good.

But when I was talking to Jenna, I was like, you guys kind of like actually went like, How is he so, like, good at this? And she was like, I don't know. And I'm not going to ask questions. I'm just very thankful for it. I was like, yeah, you should be. Everyone's like, thinks it's so funny. Like the Joey lore. They're like, it just keeps coming. Like where it was like, all of a sudden they're like, oh, he played drums. Oh, he was a cheerleader. Oh, he did this and this and this. It's like, is that why this all makes sense. But honestly, Joey is just very like, whenever he puts his mind to anything, he gives it 110%. Like our relationship, like after the bachelor, like he was like making sure that. this was going to work and whatever he could do possible. Like he was going to put his effort into it. And I feel like he's done the same thing with dancing. And that's just how he navigates like anything that he like commits to. And so I think that, you know, there are other perks like he has, you know, a good understanding of like rhythm and music. And then like, you know, he's very athletic. And I think that tennis being light on your feet helps. But also I just think that he is very determined. Like I saw him dancing in the shower the other day. Like literally practicing his routine. I like looked at him and he was like this. And I was like, I literally was like, what was that? And he was like, don't ask me about it. He was like, I'm practicing my routine.

And I was like, okay. Every night he's watching footage, like, as if it's like his like huddle footage, you know, like of the football or whatever. It's like he's watching it and like analyzing it and seeing what he needs to do better. Oh my gosh. Buddy. Oh, my gosh. He's freaking crushed it. Winning or not, he like, he did so well.

I know. Like he's such. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, regardless of where he places, like we're going to celebrate. because he deserves to be celebrated after everything that he's done. Absolutely. No, he's worked so hard. We have so much enjoyed watching him on TV.

I know. I love all the trends that everyone's doing from the season. Like, Danny's and Joey's and like all these different like lifts and dance moves. It's really cool to see like everyone just really enjoy it. Yeah. It's been sweet. Such a fun way to bring to bring people together. Okay.

I have a couple final questions and then we'll do a little segment. But curious. over this past year, what has been, like, your biggest pinch me moment? My biggest pinch me moment was probably whenever I was at stage coach. And Lana Del Rey was staying at the same place that we were, like the same house. And I, like, I love Lana Del Rey. Like, I think that she's amazing. And she was, like, hanging out with us in the same area.

And I was like, I have to go up and say hi. Like, I just have to. And I don't really get starstruck that often. Yeah. But I was like scared to go up to her. Joey brought her up with me. And Lana looked at me and she was like, you. And she was like, I loved you. Like I wanted it to be you. All of this stuff. She watched her season. She gave me her number. I didn't text her because I was too scared. I was like, what am I going to say? You need to text her. It's been like a couple months. I don't know if I missed the mark. But yeah. And then I like, we did cold plunges together. I think that was the biggest pinch me moment that I was just like, you're bonded. Colton. You're bonded. She's probably like, why hasn't Kelsey types of me? She's totally like, did I say something? Her brother moved to New Orleans. And so that's why she gave me her number because she was like, if I need to know anything, like, I need to know good areas and stuff. Well, didn't she just marry someone? Yeah. A swamp tour ride, I believe.

Frick. I don't know. I did one of those once. Yeah? I've never done one. And like, I forget, I forget, like, I don't know if there's multiple swamps or there's like one area that like you just like do it in. A lot of swamps. It was like. It was cool. But we also learned about the people that live on the river, too. It's like crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I know one of my friends in college, her family were like, they did like alligator hunting and stuff like that. I was like, that's crazy. Have you tried alligator? Yes. Yeah. It kind of tastes like chicken a little chewier, I think, right? Interesting. I haven't had it in a while. I've never tried it. I feel like people come to Louisiana and they're like, we got to eat gator. I'm like, people here aren't eating. I think it's more of like a touristy thing. Yeah. That's funny. What has been the biggest thing that you've learned about yourself this year? I think I've learned a lot of confidence. I really do. I think that I've always had a little bit, like a good amount of confidence. But I think that I've just, with interviews, with podcasts, I used to be really nervous about them. And I was like, oh my God, I'm going to mess up. And honestly, now I'm just like, you know, I'm just going to say whatever's on my mind and trust what's coming out of my mouth. I think that you can kind of tell that to like watching the show. I was saying a lot of ums and likes because I was kind of not really trusting what I was saying. And now I just kind of say it how it is. And I think that I have a lot of more trust and confidence in myself for sure. Yeah. I love that. What are you most proud of yourself for? And this could just be in life in general. Hmm. That's hard. There's so many things. No, I'm drinking. So proud of myself. How do I know how do I know how I don't want? No. I think that I'm proud of the way that I've

navigated myself out of the show. Like, I think that I've really tried to stay grounded and not let anything get to my head or think that I'm bigger than anyone or anything. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I think that's very evident that you and you and Joey as a couple have both done that because you both are just like so like warm and nice and you can just tell from like your social media too that you guys are just yourselves. That's not that hasn't changed. I love that. Okay, Lemon 7. Let's get into it. Seven questions. You can rapid fire. You can monologue. You can do whatever is speaking to you in the moment. Number one, what movie or song title best describes your mental health today? We'll say better now by Post Malone. Okay. Because I feel like at the beginning,

after the show, I was all over the place. I feel like I was worried about what other people were saying. And now I feel great. I'm able to brush it off. I'm like focused on the right things now. Yeah. That's so good. Number two is how open are you with people in your life when struggling? I think that I could be more open. I think a lot of times I worry that, you know, the people that I want to talk to, I'm like, oh, well, they have a lot of things going on and I don't want to add to their stress. But I think that, you know, it is important to talk to the people that you love about if you're struggling or if you're having a hard time. And I'm learning, I think, to do better. Yeah. I love that. Three is if you could follow three social media accounts, what would they be? Okay, there's this guy, the Italian batch, I think, is, Oh, I don't know. He's like from, I don't know, he's from England. He's, I got an English accent. He's one of the funniest accounts. I am obsessed with all of his videos. Me and my brother always send all of his stuff to each other. He's so funny. Him, obviously Joey. But I love looking at his pictures. And then, I don't know, I really like Alona. I love her, I love her content. She's so funny. And like she just comes up with all these. Amazing. Yeah. Oh, and the squeeze. You don't have to throw it. That's nice. We'll be three and a half. We'll be three to half. Okay. Number four is what is your favorite form of self-care? I love just taking a long shower, washing my hair, feeling clean, getting in bed, and eating or eating something, getting in bed, watching a good movie. Yeah. Eating something yummy and good. A good shower. Just a good movie. Yes. I love that. Number five is what is the most misunderstood thing about you?

I don't know, honestly. I think that people say a lot of things, but also, I just, I don't know. I feel like an open book, honestly. I don't know what the most, I don't know. I don't know, because I feel like there's, there's things that people say sometimes, but it's not like it's the whole masses. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I mean, you were like on a dating show, so I feel like people have a good understanding. Okay, well, maybe the most thing that was misunderstood during the show was that I feel like they didn't show a lot of my personality. And I think that I'm pretty funny. I would second that. I would second that. That's funny. Number six is who's had the most positive impact on your mental health? My best friends, like my girlfriends. I have a really, really, really, really great girlfriends. And I, yeah, I feel like there are people that I can always count on and are always looking out for me and supporting me. Even whenever I have a hard time replying to them, they're always there for me and telling me how great I am and how deserving I am. And I think sometimes

you need that. For sure. Yeah. That's so special. Okay. Last question. Number seven, if you can go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself? I think I would go back to whenever my mom passed and just tell myself to like feel the feelings because it's okay to be sad about something that's sad. Yeah. That's special. Okay. Well, thanks for hanging Thank you for having me. This is fun. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.