The Squeeze - Ken Eurich: Finding Balance in a Digital World

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

In this week’s episode, Tay is back for some girl-chat with content creator Ken Eurich! Ken shares what made her want to move to Austin, Texas, how her social media journey started just for fun before turning into a full-time career, and what it’s been like going from small-town life to living publicly on the internet. She opens up about her relationship and boundaries with social media – how she decides what to share, the mental health struggles that come with constant opinions, and even dealing with Reddit hate and a hacker who wouldn’t leave her alone. Ken also talks about her experience with therapy and medication, why both have been so important for her mental health, and how she’s learned to separate her real life from the online noise. Plus, she joins Tay for Tea Time with Tay to spill on love at first sight, texting rules, and the worst date she’s ever been on!Be sure to follow Ken on https://instagram.com/keneurich/ and https://tiktok.com/@ken.eurich!To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code SQUEEZE.Take the guesswork out of your dog’s well-being. Go to ollie.com/squeeze and use code squeeze to get 60% off your first box!Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.com.As an exclusive offer, our listeners can get free protein in every box for a year PLUS $20 off your first box when you go to ButcherBox.com/SQUEEZE.For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire first order at happymammoth.com — just use the code SQUEEZE at checkout.Learn more and join using our link. Function is a near-360 view to see what’s happening in your body, and my first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward their membership. Visit www.functionhealth.com/THESQUEEZE or use gift code THESQUEEZE100 at sign-up to own your health.Level up your bedding with Quince — you’ll feel the difference right away. Go to Quince.com/SQUEEZE for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to your rice-adviseur or Sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media production. I don't know how to tell you this, but like, Just because someone can conversate does not mean that was the best first date ever.

You don't know how to tell him this. He's the worst actual date that I've ever been on. And he knows it at this point. Like, to me, I can talk to a wall. So if I'm having a hard time speaking to you, it's bad. I always have to be a little bit tipsy before I try something new. Oyster is the vinegar vessel. And that's how I get it in me in a way of being just like, because I could sit there and actually drink vinegar.

My little vehicle to get it into my mouth in like an appropriate manner. A man needs to blow me up, loki. He would face me like, I would call this like cool call. He would call me all the time. And I'd be like, what are you doing? I was very much against my relationship. This was the most I've ever been against a relationship in the beginning. He's like, face for me to hang out.

I'm like, get off me for a second. Like, give me some space. This is, okay. I'm like, this is pretty awkward. It's definitely he's gotten it back to him that it, this has been the worst state. It gave me this weird thing of like self-importance, but not like in a good way. Why did I share that? No, I post it right away.

I film it and it's posted. And if I did say that, I was a little liar. Okay. They pay for my therapist these days is like out of pocket. I haven't seen her in a minute, though. Miss her. Call in and check up on her. See how she's doing.

She's going to be like, hello? Ken, welcome to the squeeze. Hello, thank you for having me. We were just talking about the river in Austin and how it's probably a no-go. Yeah, it's a no-go. It's just too many moving parts. I would like to do it someday.

Yeah. And decide I'm going to do it, but I just know that if I do it, that's probably going to be the first and the last time. So it better be good. I have to go in there with a good mindset. Well, not that I'm thinking about it. Do people swim in it?

Or is it just a float? I feel like it's more of just a floating situation. But then you would want to float. You would want to float when it's like hot and sticky, but then you wouldn't be able to get in the water. But also, I feel like with some of the water in Austin, it's so, because it's so hot, the water is warm. Like, I know like in the lakes and stuff like that, like a lot of the time the lake water is not super. It's not refreshing. Like, yeah.

If you go in like, especially the prime of summer, you go to the lake and you jump in and you're like, oh my gosh, it was like bath water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Yeah. Yeah, no. Fun.

Okay. Well, welcome. We start each episode off with this jar. We have a little game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there. Sweet. Many to choose from. Favorite restaurant in Los Angeles or wherever you live. Okay. I'm not in Los Angeles. So, and Austin, I would say as of late, it's been Uchiba. I'm like, I just discovered sushi recently. Like, no, like I just started trying it. Okay. I would not eat sushi for the longest.

I just grew up, I feel like in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania. That just wasn't a common dish or anything like that. Yeah. And so I always grew up super scared of trying anything new and I've been a picky eater. And just within this last year, I've been really going out on a limb and trying new things. And so I've been, like, one thing about me when I try something and I like it, I become obsessed with it and I need to eat it every day, all the time it's all my mind thinks about. Like, I truly get, like, obsessive with things.

And for me, it's been sushi for sure, specifically homic chili from there. It's, like, the best thing ever. Were you, like, just full send with all of the raw fish? Or were you, like, if... I'm still trying to figure out. where I stand with raw fish. Like there's some things where I'm like, okay, yeah, easy, I'll try that.

But there's, like, stuff for some reason, like scallops, anytime there's anything with scallops. I feel like scallops a little hard. You know? If it's cooked, it's, I prefer them cooked. You can eat them raw, but it kind of, I don't really like it raw. It's like a texture thing.

Yeah, and that's for me. It's always a texture thing for me. And I feel like I always have to be a little bit tipsy before I try something new. I feel like that's always, like, my introduction is, okay, I've had a drink or two and I'm starving. And it was the same thing with oysters. I went through this huge oyster phase last year

where like all I would eat was oysters. I never had one up until last year. Finally had one. Next, you know, I'm like, I need to have my hands on this every single day. Like,

how do I get oysters? I had that same phase because I, again, I'm like a texture girly. So I was just like, I'm not even going to try. I've always liked sushi, but I was like,

I'm not going to, this just grosses me out. So I'm not going to. And then at our wedding, we were serving, like, during the cocktail hour, they were doing like past like oysters.

That's my dream. Seriously. That's my dream. I was like our, when we did our full, like tasting the caterer like brought it out and they were like this is an option and I was like okay if this is going to be served in my wedding like I need to try it yeah and I tried it it was literally the best thing ever and then I was hooked like I'm like chucking them left and right for me

it's all about like I feel like the minionette is like the big part of oysters for me yeah and I feel like I just use the oyster as a vessel to like I love vinegar like I could chug vinegar I love vinegar the oyster is the vinegar vessel and that's how I get it in me in a way of being like okay this is like tame enough where I can, you know, do it and I'm not just like, because I could sit there and actually drink vinegar. Yeah. So that's like my little vehicle to get it into my mouth in like an appropriate manner. That and horseradish. I don't really mess with the cocktail sauce though. Yeah. I can't do, do you like a lot of horseradish? It depends. The husband loves it. Like, yeah. He like wants his nose to like burn. When you feel, I will never forget the first time I ever, I think that

was the first one I ever had horseradish and like that feeling in my nose where it felt like everything was like exploding up my sinuses. It was a weirdly addicting feeling where I'm like, I hate this. But like, I feel like it just cleared me out. And there's some place. It's like a high, literally. And I've realized though there's two different types of horse outages. There's like the fresh stuff that's like shaved. And it's not usually that strong.

Yeah. But then I feel like the stuff that's like pre. I don't even know what it is is like that's the stronger stuff. That's where I can only take a little bit of it. Yeah. That's how I feel like that's how wasabi is too, honestly. See, I'm never, I'm never, I still haven't really tested wasabi. I like fresh like shaved wasabi.

Like I can do that on sushi. But I don't like it when it's like the paste. The green paste. It kind of scares me. When I was a kid, I told my girlfriend that that was like a mint dessert and she put the whole thing in her mouth. I don't know why. I'm literally just actually having that revelation. I forgot I did that.

I was probably like 10 and a couple of my like, I'm still friends with them today, but I told one of them it was like a mint or like a green tea. You're like, that's no haunts me. Every once. Sometimes it happens though where you think about things that you said or did as a kid and you're like, oh, that like, that actually makes me cringe or like haunts me in a weird way. I thought it was a funny thing. We had this like garage above our house growing up. and I have no recollection of ever saying this, but my friends have convinced me that I claimed

that we used to live in the garage like up above my house and I used to apparently tell them like, oh no, I live there. Like, we fully lived there. And then one day they came to my house and asked my parents, my parents, like, we never lived.

And I'm like, I never said that. Apparently I did. That's what they said. So you're sending the record straight today. So I'm sending the record straight that I never lived in that garage. And if I did say that, I was a little liar. Okay.

So born and raised in Pennsylvania. Yes. Small town. What was that like growing up? Honestly, I feel like when you don't know anything different. I feel like now I have a lot of feelings about it. But at the time I was just, you know, when you're younger, you kind of assume everybody's life looks like yours. And I think that's a big revelation I've had, especially with like family life lately as you grow up. You think that everyone

has the same family situation as you and their home life is the exact same. And then you get older. And you're like, oh, wow, like we all have very different lives growing up. And it's so weird how when you're younger, you just think everyone's the same. And I think being in a small town that really, you just feel like everyone has the same life because now in Austin and like I'm exposed to so much. so many different people. And back home, I feel like, nothing really ever changes back home, which is very great when I go home. I'm like, my God, nothing ever changes.

I feel like I come home and everything is just how I left it. And I definitely would like to go back eventually. I think I could like raising my kids in a situation like that. But then there's also that fear of everybody, it's kind of scary when everyone has that same mindset. And I think that's the only thing that kind of holds me back of being there is I feel like now I've been exposed to so much that I have so many views and so many, beliefs that I just didn't have growing up, which is a great thing. And I feel like if you, you know,

if you raise your kids with that, it's a whole different conversation. And that's, you know, great. But no, I mean, yeah. What made you want to move from there? Or why did you? I never really had like a college experience at all. Like I went from living in Pennsylvania with my family and then doing community college there. And then two years in a community college, it was time for me to transfer. I was about to transfer to like a college 45 minutes away. And I did end up transferring and lived there for like six months, but I ended up dropping out of school as soon as before I even started. And so Austin was my first like big girl move. And it was a very manageable city to me. Because I feel like other places you go and they're so big and there's so much. I kind of had

known a couple of people in Austin. And it was it was very digestible. Right. Like Austin's a huge city, but it feels so small. Like the second you get there, you start to really meet people and you're like, oh my gosh, now it's like you can't escape it. It's very incestual. It's a very incestual. And now I feel like after being there for three and a half years, I'm like, all right, I know too much. like now I need to go.

I actually do think I need to move soon. But it's been a, it was a really great transition city from going from like small town to like that was my first big city. And now it's starting to feel small. And I'm like, okay, what's the next step? Yeah. So did you move just because you were like wanting something different or was like social media starting to take off and is that why you moved?

Social media definitely, I think, was like the main reason behind that because the only reason I'd been to Austin like three times before moving there and I feel like that's what everyone always says like they've only gone a couple of times and then they just decide like I need to be here. I want to move here right now. Yeah. And I feel like I mean it was super young. Every time I'd visited it just seemed like it was like the most post grad place everyone could go and it kind of gave me that college feeling almost that I didn't really ever get. But I had some friends who kind of run the social media space and I feel like compared to where I grew up, everyone is very traditional. Yeah. And the idea of like even doing what I was doing, I feel like my parents didn't really understand it.

no one really believed in it. And I think I kind of met a group of people that were all either young entrepreneurs or people who were in the social media space. And it kind of just changed my entire outlook on everything. And I was like, wait, I can do this. And this is very inspiring. And it was kind of one of those things that, you know, like when people give you advice, sometimes you have to really take a step back and be like, why am I taking advice from these specific? Like, do I want a life that's like these people? Like, I love my parents and they're amazing. But, you know, I think they had a very old fashioned look on things. And we're like, no, you need to go to school and you need to do this and that's the only way to be successful.

Yeah. And I kind of took a step back and I was like, but wait, nobody here is doing anything that I want to do. Like, you know, this isn't really where I feel like I should be taking all of my advice from right now. Like knowing what I want to do, I know it's very different from what anyone here has done or wants to do. Yeah. Was what you wanted to do social media or is there something else that you, like, are dreaming of or we're dreaming of? I think social media has always been like, I grew up in a very digital world. Like I feel like I was right at that generation of people that were seeing people online turn it into a career. Like ever since I was so little, I remember like being obsessed with YouTubers.

And like I remember like realizing in high school that a lot of these people were now doing it as jobs, but it still seems super unattainable. And like, okay, that only happens to like the lucky few. And then TikTok happened. And when I realized I could do it, I immediately was like trying to jump on it any way I could. And trying to profit off of it and being like, it didn't start off that way. And then once, you know, I feel like once you start getting followers, you're like, wait, I know people make this a living. how do I do this? Like I need to find the people that can help me make this a living.

And I think now I'm, I love social media. I'm never gonna probably ever stop posting on socials. But I think it would be nice to be able to kind of like move on from that in a way, whether it's, you know, I have this like weird fantasy about acting. But I also know that acting is one of those things where I feel like you have to have like the death of an ego in order to do it. Yeah.

Because I've tried like just like reading scripts and there's something so embarrassing about doing it. I don't know why. I can't shake the embarrassment of like reading a script and like pretending to be someone. I'm not. So that's like my goal right now is what I'm trying. I'm trying to do that. But it's a slow, it's a slow process.

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quince.com slash squeeze. On the note of social media, how, what's your relationship like with it? Because I know you're like, I feel like you're pretty open. And I love like seeing your videos because I feel like you like save my intrusive thoughts out loud. I'm like, oh, great. It's not just me. But how has that like shift been, especially growing up in a small town and now like obviously with social media, you're flooded with people's like opinions and things. Right.

But how has that been for you? I think at first when you first start doing it and you first kind of start getting those initial negative comments and stuff like that. It's so shocking because especially me sitting at my parents' house, I'm like, you're spending your time, like leaving a hate comment. You just are like, I'm such a normal person that I can't believe anyone even cares to give me any sort of hate, but whatever. And it's, it's kind of funny at first, but then it also kind of really angers you because you're like, oh my gosh, you feel the need to explain. I think it's just human nature to be like, you don't know me, right? Like you want to be defensive and tell people and

set people straight and then I think I went through a phase of like really being obsessed with what people think of me, you know, and especially I think once I moved to Austin, there was a definitely a switch in my audience. I felt like my audience had been pretty supportive. I would get hate comments here and there and whatever, but I feel like there's this kind of weird thing with social media where people always want the best room, we want you to do better until you do better. And I feel like that's kind of where a lot of people then the hate would start to come from is, oh, she changed or she changed this way or that way. But for me, it was always so odd because I felt like if anything, it was me having more life experience. And I feel like I was, the hate was

kind of making me more compassionate. If that makes sense, like I became a lot softer of a human in my real life. I feel like dealing with hate. I started to give people a lot more opportunity and chances. I feel like that I ever did before that. So it was actually really great. In a weird way, I'm very thankful for social media and all that it's taught me because I feel like mentally it's like pushed me so far. Yeah. It made me grow up in ways very quickly. But for a long time, I would really like sit on hate and I would really let it eat at me. And even sometimes there's some things now that get to me, but I'm at a place with it where I feel like once something kind of major happens and you kind of hit your big breaking point with hate and you have to become so sure

of who you are. Yeah. And I think that's what kind of happened to me. Like I would kind of let hate get to me here and there and then a big blow up kind of happened where I feel like everyone was trying to tell me who I was. And that's when I feel like you either like sink or swim, right? Yeah. And either like so positive of who you are and you have to now go in through life being like, now I know who I am and no one's going to ever tell me who I'm not. Yeah. And that's where I'm at with it right now. Like it doesn't really, it doesn't get to me in the same way that it wants it.

I think every now and then there's comments or something like that are kind of like, kind of push out that defensiveness in you. But I also think TikTok has gotten like a really good. I don't know if it's an AI, what it is, but I've been getting a lot of hate comments lately. And I'm like, I think that TikTok is getting really good at like spotting. I used to be able to go and look into like reviewed comments that people, like the TikTok was like flagging.

I don't even have that anymore to like review me in comments. So I'm like, I don't know if TikTok's just really good at like getting hate comments right before I even see them anymore or what it is. But I'm not asking any questions. Sometimes I feel like I get really bad anxiety because I used to like just go off on people all the time and be like. And then I feel like it got to the point where I was just so defensive over everything. People would say things that weren't even necessarily hate comments. But I was so, my mind was so set on everyone hates me. It's so weird how social media changes your perception too.

Like I feel like it gave me this. it gave me this weird thing of like self-importance, but not like in a good way, not like I'm so important, people care about me. More of the, when you have, I feel like especially with like the rise of places like Reddit

and all these things where people gather to just like talk about you and talk about every single thing that you do, it's hard to almost not put yourself in a mindset of like, wait, everything I do someone's looking at and someone's making comments on and I do feel like I'm under a microscope, not in a good way, in a bad way.

And then like when you go out in public, I kind of have this weird thing on my mind of like, I'm constantly being perceived when that's probably not in the truth. But I feel like sometimes hate makes you think that that everyone's constantly like, oh, she's doing this or she's doing that and is being overly judgmental when in real life, that's not true. It's a very small amount of people that are sitting online doing it. And it's not really the people in real life. Yeah. And I think the more when you like, not ignore it, but ignore it too is so, like I have never been on Reddit and I refuse to go on Reddit. No,

don't do it. My girlfriend who is an influencer, she will check it every so often. And I'm like, no we're not gonna do that we're not gonna do it we're not gonna do it no I still remember like whenever I first discovered like I even had one because I will never forget like the day I remember like sitting and being like oh my god somebody made a Reddit about me and I remember like that day like scrolling and like doing the refresh doing the refresh because people were just posting and posting and posting and posting and then honestly after that I haven't looked at it since there's been times when like things have happened in my personal life where like people around me have checked it because we knew that stuff would be posted on there this and that but for the most part I've had a very healthy

relationship because it is like an addiction. Like I know a lot of people they get so addicted to reading things about themselves and they want to fix it. I just feel like it's a never ending game. When you do that, it's like you and people, it's just, it's a crazy mind game. So is it like, it's kind of like Twitter, but this is literally, I'm literally sound. I don't really get what it is, to be honest with you. I think it's, people just kind of make pages. People just feel like going on there and and then they just talk shit. So like, essentially. You don't like follow anyone. No, no, no, no, And, well, I don't know if you follow people. I think you can follow pages.

I think you can follow pages. Okay. And like people can like subscribe, I think to like pages. Okay. So if someone like makes a page, someone can subscribe to that. Okay. And then get in on that and whatever.

But I feel like too now reached a point where it's like so there was a time in place for it. And I think that like the Reddit stuff was thriving. And everyone took it as like Bible. Anything that was like being said on there. And that's where it got really scary, I think. Yeah. For a minute was oh my God, people are just like saying like,

I remember like in one point there was rumors that my my dog ate my cat. Like it was, it was like some water shit. No, no, because it's insane. It's like, it's insane. I have like pit bulls too. So like that actually obviously upset me so bad because like they already, pit bulls already get such a bad rep. And the fact that people were,

and people just make up crazy conclusions like that and that and people take that as fact of well, I read it on there and that must be true. But I think now we're getting to the point where at, at first it started off as a thing people would go to as kind of like, kind of gossipy. And then it went from just like, gossip beat is straight up, I feel like lies and people on like rampages of hating people and just so nitpicky that a lot of the people in these communities, I started to feel like we're like, this is so out of control. Okay. Like this person cannot win. Like this is so unfair. You know,

if you're just constantly being like this person's ugly or those aren't valid criticisms in any way. So I think now I truly feel like the whole Reddit thing is dying down. Maybe it just I don't hear about it. Yeah. A lot is I feel like in like 2022 when it first started, my page first happened. I heard about it constantly. People would need to try to scare me and DM me and be like, you need to go check out and I'm like no I don't want to see it I don't want to know about it and I think now we're having like more online awareness of like yeah it's a lot of BS and thank God because yeah what you said is so true like we have to remember like you could literally like go on and like say anything you want on social media and because I don't know if it's because when we

were like brought up like just having like Google and like the answer like we were able to find the answer so now people think that yeah with social media them finding the answer answer. There was like a, I don't know the stop, but I think it was last year or the year before. I mean, it's probably still the same. But like our generation goes to TikTok to find the answer rather than Google. For sure. And like you can. I even catch myself doing it sometimes where I'm like looking something up. Like I was I was trying to last night, literally last night in bed. I was like looking up these rings. And I was looking them up on TikTok instead of just like looking at Google and seeing people's reviews on Google. I was like trying to see TikTok. People were like making videos about this ring and bracelet because I wanted to buy them. And I was like, I need to see the review. I need to see the review. And yeah. I was. Yeah. I was. went immediately to TikTok. And I had this, like, crazy experience, actually, the other week that I feel like also made me have, like, this, like, big woe moment about Reddit. Yeah. And all that type of stuff. Like, I was getting a tarot card reading, so random in New Orleans on, like, the side of Burbin Street. I'm not even kidding. Like, random as hell. And this, the girl who was giving me this reading, she was just like super nice. She was like an older woman, probably like in her 60s,

very negative, very just like. And we end up getting in this conversation. And she, we start talking about Inkmasters. Somehow the show Inkmasters gets brought up. So random. She starts going in detail about how she's on the Reddit account and she's talking all this shit about these people that were and I'm hearing this as like a bystander and I'm just looking at her like you sound insane right now like she's going out about this person didn't deserve to win and I'll

get on writing and people this did and I'm like oh my god you're the type of person that is probably writing about me right now and I'm you cannot take this seriously like this girl is getting so emotional I'm like why is this get what's just like emotional for you yeah this inkmaster show has gone to the point where it's so emotional for you that I can't even I'm like is this what people are doing when they're on my page

like they're getting so worked up But like seeing this in real life made me be like, this was like my, I touched, I just touched grass in that way. I was like, oh my God. I was like, I'm not, I'd be a bigger fish to fry. Like, it's never that serious. If these are the people that are like getting so upset about me and getting so worked up, I can live with it. Yeah. I think it's okay.

It's so, it's so true. It's such a good. I was like, I can't believe this is real right now. Like it really put things into perspective for me that I was like, oh. Because I think in your mind, like, it's because everything's so anonymous or like it could be anybody and it could be. And then the truth is it's like, and I don't, I think when you realize. that none of these people, I mean, they care, but I feel like they don't really care that much.

You know what I mean? Like, this is pure entertainment for them. I feel like I also had to put myself in, because sometimes I find myself in like celebrity gossip or like watching videos about straight up gossip that is definitely not true and it's just like hearsay. And then I have to like take a step back and be like, girl, what are you watching right now? Yeah. You know, but I think it's also knowing having the awareness of like reading something and being like,

okay, this could be true, but this could be also completely made up. I feel like we've kind of lost that. Yeah. I don't even know what the word is, like literacy, like media literacy almost, like reading stuff. I feel like it got to a scary point where everyone just thought everything they read was true. Yeah. Yeah. And even, I was talking with someone.

They were like, I've never, like, met a happy person that has left, like, a negative comment. Like, I would never, like, comment about someone's looks or, like, their character or anything. So if someone's going to do that, I know that I'm, they're not a happy person. No, and it's like, if you want to talk shit that bad, send it to your friends. If you don't have a friend to send it to, if you really, like, it is killing you. Like, you feel like you need to. Yeah. Why can you just send a link to your friend and, like, say something to your friend?

It just gives me the vibe of, like, you don't have anyone to talk to you about it. And actually kind of makes me sad. And I'm like, you don't even have anyone to talk shit to if you really want to. You can't even send it to a friend and be like, this, this girl's annoying me, this or that. Anna Satara always, she tells me, like, they just want to be, like, involved. Yes. It's people that just, it's a validating thing. People just want to be, like, involved in what's going on.

so like they leave a comment so that they can like be involved. I feel like it's a huge form of validation for a lot of people. Yeah. Where it's like, I don't know why. I feel like, because if you have these feelings or whatever, you should be okay with like sitting with, you see a video. If I ever see a video that bothers me, scroll, scroll, scroll,

I don't need to like be giving out all of my opinions and emotions. But I think that it's like this weird addiction to having people validate you. Yeah. And tell you like, oh, no, I agree with you. And then people kind of get on this like powerful. Yeah. high horse of like, yeah, see people agree with me and I hold power now because people agree with me and it's kind of, yeah, it's bizarre. If you've been wanting to make your workouts more

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themselves. And that was like a huge part of like when I was kind of starting my content, I was like, well, I'm very much me and I have no problem being me. And that like was the forefront of all my content was just being very open. And that was great. It helped me really build a community. But I think then you kind of get in this unhealthy place with people where it's, it's all funny game sharing and, you know, letting people in on your life until you realize

there's this like weird switch that happens where people then feel like they know you. to an extent of like they get so parissocial and then they just then start making assumptions after assumptions after assumptions and I feel like that's when it started to get dangerous and just overall bad for my mental health yeah and moments like that and I feel like there was a huge phase for like 22 to like 24 honestly 2023 24 and where I was like struggling so much with like what do I share what do I not share because I'm trying to set these weird boundaries but also do people even have interest in me if I'm not over exposing my life because that was a huge thing that started all of my content. That was a huge, you know, that's what made me me online was being

me and oversharing. And now I think I've gotten to this place where it's, I want to protect myself and I want to protect the people that I love that I still, I feel like have slipups of sometimes I share things. And I'm like, why did I share that? Like that was too much. But I think just setting that healthy boundary of like, you know, I can't give people as much. because it kind of turns into ammunition, you kind of just start handing people ammunition. And for the people that like you, and then they turn on you one day

and they know all this stuff about you and then they think they can make all these assumptions about you or you're giving all of your information to like the people that it genuinely does not. They don't need to know it. Yeah. And I think that's where I'm at right now with trying to like decide.

And I've gotten a lot better at it, but I would be lying if I said there's definitely not days still where I'm like, I post stuff and I'm like, why did I say that? Why did I post that? Yeah. Do you like ever, do you like film something in the post it right away

or do you film it and then like save it? No, I post it right away. And that's also like my, yeah, yeah, no, like I film it and it's posted. Like there's no, there's never any looking back. There's never, I'm sitting on this video. I don't know if I should put, no, it's like post it. And then then you find out by the comments sometimes where you're like, okay, maybe I jumped the gun on that.

I maybe I should have thought about it. Great. We just saved it in the draft for like 24 hours. Yeah. But with me, it's like an energy thing. Yeah. It's like, oh my God, like I'm feeling the vibe. Like with all my content, it's all like, unless it's like, obviously like branded content

that needs to be approved and all that stuff. All of my like organic content is filmed, posted. Like, unless it's like a draft and I'll acknowledge like this is a draft. But no, it's like it's an energy thing of like I feel as high of like, let's just do it. Like let's just get it up there. Let's post it. And then that's when I get in trouble. Yeah.

Yeah. You mentioned your mental health kind of struggling with social media. What was going on during that time? I think a lot of it was just having like a lot of people's opinions about me. in my life and especially being so open on social media and giving people so much stuff to work with. Had me really questioning, like, who I was. And not even, I think not even realizing

that's what I was doing during that time, but now it's kind of more clear of like that's what was really going on was I didn't know who I necessarily was because I had so many people, like I thought I knew it. And I've always, I feel like since I came out of my mother's womb, I've been someone who like, I know who I am. There's no question about that. Then being on socials, you know,

you kind of have all these people telling you who you are or who you're not. or, and it really does make you question yourself in so many different ways that you don't even realize you're questioning yourself. Yeah. And I think when I look back to that time where I was like really struggling with all that, it was because I had so many people shoving things down my throat and telling me who I was and me not knowing, thinking I know and then kind of being like, well, these people, a lot of comments are saying this.

So they are probably right. And I don't think it was until that like first like big blow up where I feel like people were really coming at me that I had to be like, okay, I know this isn't true about myself. And I can either keep on listening to these people and trying to defend myself or just being okay with what I know and moving forward. And I think that's how a lot of now my social media, you know, mental health thing has been is just being so sure of who I am. And also seeing like therapists.

I talked to therapists and I talk therapist, which was really great for me because she put a lot of things in perspective and a lot of just like, like go touch grass, basically without saying go touch grass, like, being like, this is, you have to look at it like it's an art project or like you're an artist and just be like, you have to separate yourself from the art. And for some reason, hearing that was like major to me being like, she's like, you post these like 30 seconds, 60, whether you talk and you're very open about your life or not, like these people do not know you. And nobody will ever know you except for the people in your real life. And you just need to separate that. Yeah. And that was huge. And I dig it on medication

for a minute. I was on Lexa Pro and I had a whole journey with, you know, being medicated. I feel like during 2022, it was like a lot was happening at once. Like I had this hacker that got into my Snapchat and posted photos of me online. And that was like a whole thing. Yeah. No, that was like a whole thing. That and he would like randomly, I was like getting anonymous text messages and I knew it was him. Like he would always just like come back around. Yeah. Randomly. Like I'll never forget like the day I got logged into my Snapchat and I immediately got text being like Kennedy. And I was like, no, this isn't her. And then it was immediately just like photos of me and I was like, I'll post these everywhere. And then they did. And it was one of those things,

where you kind of have just like come to terms with there's you can't get people power. I think a lot of it comes from like you just can't give people power and that was a, I made that switch actually very quick to not giving him power. But I think when he would come back around and just like anonymously text me being like, hi. And I would always know it was him. That like always had me in like a constant state of like just not even feeling safe in my home or anything like that. And then that's 2020 was kind of when that was going on. And then the whole Reddit stuff, I think that's whenever like Reddit was really like a big thriving thing.

And everyone kind of had this fear of Reddit. I don't feel like it is as fearful as it was back then, but at the time, it was definitely a scary thing. And I remember going into, it was actually a gynaecologist appointment. It was so random. And I had to fill out on the paper, like, you know, how you're feeling on a scaffold one to, you know, I did all of that. And I remember she came into the room and was like, okay, so we're actually not doing your checkup today at all. Like your answer is really very concerning. And we need to like come up with like a different plan. And I was like, wait, really. Which like, no, it really wasn't that surprising now looking back at it because like I was definitely down bad. And yeah. She put me on Lexapro,

which I know a lot of people have like mixed feelings about a gynecologist, but I'm going to be honest, my gynecologist was like the only professional I've ever talked to who I feel like really cared about my health and mental health and just overall well-being. Like she really was all about women's health in general. Yeah. More than, like I went and ended up seeing like a psychiatrist after that.

And I feel like it was very much like a, okay, go, you're medicated go. They didn't really care about me. Whereas like she sat and she listened to me and put me on Lexpro and that ended up being, I remember the first night that I was on Lexapro. It was the weirdest experience. I felt so out of it. And like I never really had like thoughts of wanting to harm myself. I just had such bad anxiety that I think it was like this cloud that was just over me.

And I couldn't sleep. But I also all I wanted to do was sleep. It was, you know, like it was mostly of an anxiety thing. And I remember though like feeling this weird feeling of like, oh my God, like I want to crawl out of my own skin. Like I was going absolutely nuts my first night on Lexapro. And eventually I got used to it, which I feel like that should have been a red flag that if I felt that terribly. but they said you're going to feel weird and whatever. And it was great for a while.

And then it slowly turned into this like, I'm so numb that nothing affects me. Yeah. Like I don't care about anything. You could say anything you wanted it and I'd be like, okay. And like, and it got to the point where I feel like, you know, my manager was like one day was like, listen, I can't keep working with you if we don't figure this out.

Like this is like we can't get worked or we can't do anything. So I went back. I got put on Welbutrin with it and I kind of did like a little like cocktail thing. Yeah. Once again, that made me feel so much better for a little bit. And then kind of came back down and went back into that numbing. And then ended up going on Zoloft for a little bit and dropping the Lexa Pro. And that was probably my best option that I had had with my medication.

But then I just felt like I was really starting, I just didn't feel like me. I feel like everything kind of eventually was coming back into that gray area. And maybe once again, that just wasn't the right medication. Yeah. But I've been off medication now for like probably almost a year coming up maybe like eight, months. And there was this really weird feeling when I first got off of it, like a month or two off of it, where I was like, all my human emotion was kind of coming back again. And I would just find myself crying my eyes out in the car being like, wait, this is kind of amazing though. Like,

it was the first time in like a year where I had had emotion, you know? And I was like, wait, there's something kind of, and don't be wrong, medication is so great. And I think it's one of those things that like, for sure. That especially mixed with therapy, like everybody is so different. And I think that's like what the huge thing is, is like you just have to do things that work for you and try things out. It's a very personal thing. And I think medication was a great band-aid for me. And I think I really needed it, especially when I first got on it. Like, I was so bad that that was the only thing that really helped me, like, get up and be a human again. Yeah. But I think after a while, you know, it wasn't really the best fit for me. And getting off of it was like this

huge, like, oh my God. Like, I like having emotion, you know, like when I remember first feeling anxiety again and being like, I'm actually thankful to feel this tiny little bit of anxiety. and to be able to have these feelings and evoke such like an emotional response. But I've definitely had times lately where I'm like, wait, am I getting kind of too anxious again? Where I'm like thinking about possibly getting back on medication and whatever. It's just a whole journey, you know? And I think that's like the big thing with all of that is it's a journey. Yeah.

Thank you for sharing that. That's like I love hearing. Like there's just so many different stories. Like it's so it's the same thing as therapy. I feel like with medication. Like sometimes it works, sometimes it does it. Sometimes it's good for a little bit. Sometimes it's good long term.

Sometimes it's, there's no, which I think is what kind of like makes it scary for people. Is there something like a cookie cut or answer? And then you hear horror stories. Yeah. People get online and they're like,

this one made me gain weight, made me this and made me that. And then it's hard to kind of shut that out whenever you first get on a medication. Yeah. You're like trying to do all the research you can. And then if you keep on seeing all these like negative videos, but then also you probably see people being like,

this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Like that I think is the scariest part of if I ever get on a medication again is diving into like yeah I don't it's hard to like go through that process and it was really hard getting like Lexapro especially getting off of it I was so ill getting off I was gonna ask how how that was getting off so loft I was honestly pretty okay but the Lexpro made me I will never forget like I was so out of my like sorts and I remember just being like I couldn't even get out of bed because my head was so I was like so out of body with it that I remember being like I never want to take medication again like this really

This really freaked me out. But I think it's just something you have to really commit to, right? Like, you know, fixing your mental health is not going to be. And I've been doing a lot of, like, exercising kind of lately. And I think that's been huge for me. I was never an exercise girl ever. Like, I did sports in high school and stuff like that. But after that I was never, like, seeking out any exercise.

And now that I've kind of been getting into routines and just going for walks, it sucks to do. And especially when you're, like, when you're, like, anxious or depressed, you don't want to. You're like, I don't want to stay in bed all day. But pushing myself to do that has had such a. a like good impact on my mental like I think that's a huge thing too is just like even in moments where I feel like I'm not feeling grateful I've made it kind of a habit to like go into my journal and even on days where I'm not feeling grateful for I'm not feeling that I always just like write down I'm grateful

and things that I'm grateful for and it does kind of help my mind I feel like slowly over time just overall have like a just more gratitude yeah it's I feel like we we talk about it a lot or it is talked about a lot like gratitude and whatnot but I really think practicing it Right. Can really shift your mind. You have to. That's so important. And I feel like that was like a huge thing.

I was like emotional, when I was like crying again and stuff. It was like these weird moments of like gratefulness for like I don't even know what. It would just be random things and I'd be like, I'm so grateful for this or I'm so grateful for that. Yeah. No, my girlfriend, she cries all the time and she's like,

at least I have emotion. I'm like, you're not wrong. No, you're not wrong. Because honestly like there was a long time where I got I didn't have it. And I was like, oh my God,

the things I would do to just be able to like ball my eyes out right now where like feel sad or feel anything other than just like numb, I would kill for that. Yeah. I love that. It was your gynecologist. My gynecologist is like very similar. She's the best. I love her and she like really cares about women's health as a whole. But I think that's important what you said because I think oftentimes psychiatrists are so quick to prescribe a medication and I'm all for medication. I have a background in nursing and so I'm all for it. But I do think it's really important to talk with a therapist and talk with someone so like you can actually figure out what's going on. Yeah.

And properly treated because I feel like sometimes the psychiatrist are so quick. That's what they do. They just do it all day. Not all of them. I know some great ones, but that is. Yeah. They just kind of, I feel like sometimes getting the groove of doing things.

And I remember just being like, oh my God. Like, am I, my kind of college just made sure like to give me recommendations for like therapists, places, whatever therapy. Like I don't think she could actually technically give me like recommendations of people. But like there was like, I don't even know what she. me something that, and she was just like, listen, medication and therapy has been like proved to be one of the better, but you have to do both, right? Like, sometimes it's, and, you know, that's a whole thing too. Like, find the right therapist can be like, I got lucky. Mine was pretty good, but, you know,

I know that can be a whole thing for people too, and that can be so discouraging when you're, like, talking to someone and you feel like you have no connection with them or they're not listening to you or, so. I know that's like, I'm a big advocate for therapy because therapy has changed my life And it is a relationship. You have to find someone that, you know, it's either like, maybe you want to talk to, if you're a girl, you want to talk to a girl. Or maybe you want to talk to someone that has the same religion or the same, whatever it is. You've got to, like, really find, like, who that is. And then it's, like, a complete game changer.

And there's so many different, like, there's better help. There's Rula. There's, like, so many different online platforms that make therapy, like, accessible now. Yeah. That's, like, my biggest thing, lemon drops, if you're listening. there are so many platforms you can go do it on. Because that's the biggest thing is, you know, I don't, I pay for my therapist out of pocket. And a lot of people can't do that.

No, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I have to pay for my therapist these days is like out of pocket. I haven't seen her in a minute though. I'll miss her. Maybe I should give her a call in and check up on her. See how she's doing. She's going to be like, hello? She's going to be like, are you okay?

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Visit www.functionhealth.com slash the squeeze and use gift code the Squeeze 100 as sign up to own your health. It's always funny though, because I was talking about my, like, to my friends about therapy. And one of my friends just started it recently. And she was like, I didn't even think that I really needed it. Like, but I was like, okay, I'm going to try it out. And she was like, all she did, like, the first question was like, how are you? And she was like, I just lost it. And I was like, dude, same thing.

I feel like that kind of happens to a lot of people. Because like, even though people ask you those questions all the time, there's something about going into a conversation, knowing kind of, you know, you're going to be talking about mental health and you're going to be talking about these things. And there'd be random questions that my therapist would ask me that would just evoke so much emotion because I think you're actually kind of putting yourself in a place to think about it and you're not just going through it being like, oh, yeah, I'm good. You know, you know you're kind of

expected to sit there and talk. And I remember one time they just like asked me about my brother or something like that. And I just like sort of crying about my brother. And I was like, I don't know why I'm crying about my brother right now. Like this is so random. Like my brother's fine. I'm fine. But it just evokes different things out of you when you really sit down and think about it. Yeah. It's important to have like an unbiased professional opinion. Because like obviously my husband and I've been together for almost eight years and we've like walked through a lot of mental health stuff together. So we know how to talk to the other, maybe what the other needs when we're struggling. And still like there's things I won't want to share with him that I will more willingly share with

my therapist. And I bet he has the same thing too just because it's like I don't want to sound like this to him or I don't want him to be offended if I say this and he like takes it out of con. So it's like, it's so important to have someone that is like. That's been huge. And my. relationship lately because my boyfriend grew up with like a mom who was a therapist and so she's very good at communicating and I feel like he's very good with communicating and I grew up with like just like a very just like my parents just say thanks right like my there's never been much thought between what my parents say like I have a good relation with my parents but like we're just I feel like very as it it just say it right just say it and I think there's not really much thought that goes behind it

and then when I started eating my boyfriend it was a huge shift because I'm someone who just I always speak my mind too and that's just how I was raised just speak. your mind and say things and I don't always say things in the best way and I can I think especially someone who's kind of more sensitive with their words and they're careful with what they say. It was like shocking at first for him where he's like, I don't like how you're communicating. I don't know how to like take this. And I was like, when you communicate to me, it's hard because I'm like just get to the, just cut to it.

Right. Like just you're beating around the bush too much. Just say what you're feeling. And so I've been trying to definitely find that balance with my relationship right now of like being more sensitive to things because that's one thing I feel like I am not. I am not a very sensitive person. Like I just say it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to like it.

But I think, you know, when you really love someone, you're like, oh my God, like I got to change this thing about me. And it's going to be hard. But for everyone's sake, I think it's better. Yeah. How long have you guys been together? Think about like five or six months now. Okay.

So it's still very new, but it's one of those things where it's like, why do I feel like I've known you for so long? I feel like I've known way longer than five or six months. That's sweet. Yeah. Were you like nervous to share him on social media? media or what was that like decision like I was but I also wasn't because it kind of it started off in a very odd way compared to like most of my other relationships I feel like yeah we haven't started we kind of

started online me and him immediately like there was kind of this like online thing that happened where he made a video about me and so it all kind of started out very publicly okay and it felt like there was kind of nowhere to go from there other than okay well then then we started hanging out and then even like our first date was like this like dating show thing that was ended up being recorded and published online. Okay. That it was like there was really no escaping the internet of it all. Yeah, the internet of it all. Yeah. Like people knowing and being, you know, aware of that type of stuff. So it was definitely odd and it caused I feel like a lot of weird feelings at the beginning of the relationship just on my end being like wait like, you know, you'd never know people's intentions and stuff like that. And it was definitely

difficult. And I think now like I'm still trying to navigate because this is probably one of my more public relationships, especially because like he posts me and I post him. And I usually dated guys before who really weren't on social media at all. Yeah. So it was always a very one-sided thing and now having it two, you know, two ways. And it's, I'm still working through that and a lot. And it's made me really have to be better. And I'm like working on my trust and everything like that. I feel like I have a lot of trauma from past relationships. And it's really hard not to let that get in the way of like your new stuff. And people necessarily haven't been the most trustworthy. And you're like, you're like, you always want to like jump up. Yeah. And I think having just people like be able to be in my business like that is

something I'm still kind of getting used to. And people are like, you realize it happens to everybody that's public or, you know, you have to face these things. And I'm getting used to that. Yeah. How do you guys like set, have you had any conversations with setting boundaries of like what you share online about your relationship? I feel like there has been times where we've like, well, definitely, there's been situations. There's definitely been situations where I think to him too, because like the whole social media thing is so new to him kind of. Yeah. that we've had to have talks of like, I've been doing this for a minute now

so I kind of know how things are going to be perceived and I think I kind of have this whole other viewpoint of things. And I dug it wrong, I still miss and I still post things that I'm like, oh my God, I should have done that. But I think with him it's been a whole learning curve and, you know, he's definitely had to get used to social media and that it's its whole other game kind of in a weird way.

Yeah, it's a learning curve. What's one thing that people like would be surprised about your relationship? Like what's one thing people maybe you think they assume or maybe don't know? I think that he's like the soft one. I don't know if people would think that he was more of the soft one. I mean, I'm kind of like this aggressive tone about me. So I feel like that's kind of believable. But I feel like I don't know.

I feel like he's always like the one who's just like very sensitive. And he's very like considerate. He's a very considerate person. And I feel like that's where I'm, that's where I sometimes miss. out on. Like, I'm considerate in my own ways, but overall, it's something I could definitely, I think I could work on. And I don't think people would expect him to be as, like, soft and as sweet as he really is. That's sweet. I love watching you guys. Videos are cute. Okay, I have a little fun segment for us to do. Let's do it. Just a few questions. So it's called

Tita and Latay. We actually haven't done it in a while, but we have some questions that people have just, as I hit my mic, have written in and advice or your opinion, and I will show Ryan, but the first one is, do you believe in love up for sight or do you think that grows over time? For me, it's always been like one of those things that grow over time. I feel like anytime I've met someone and I think it's like love at first sight, I think it kind of like goes and it comes and goes very quickly, for me at least. Yeah. I feel like sometimes with boys, I don't know. I feel like I always see these videos of like old couples being like, they ask them And women are like, oh, no, I did not like him at first.

And the men are like, oh, no, I knew immediately. I think sometimes that came, come at play. And I feel like even with my relationship now, it's so funny because I was very much against my relationship for the long. This was the most I've ever been against a relationship in the beginning where I was like, I just don't know if I kept on hanging out. And I was like, I don't know if I like him like that. Like, I like him and have to keep hanging out with him.

But I just don't know. And then out of nowhere, like hit me like a truck. And then ever since then I feel like I've only gradually liked him more and more. And that was really rare because I feel like in a lot of my relationships, it's been the complete opposite where like a lot of my relationships, lot of that comes at the beginning and then the more you get to know someone the more I'm kind of like oh okay like I don't really know if we're a match we're this and that and I feel like with him it's like it was a it was a slow burn for sure and it built up and now I'm like oh my god like every day there's

something new about you that I learn but it's like always in a positive yeah it's always positive I know I feel like I was kind of the same like I maybe I was just like in denial that like because my my husband's sister introduced us but she didn't introduce us to date well he thought that. Basically she brought me over to his house for a game night and was like, I'm bringing a girl that I think you're going to like. But I was just going like as a friend. You're like,

I'm just trying to hang out. I had no clue of the setup, but he knows. So he was like trying to talk to me and like for a couple weeks. Like he had followed me on Instagram and like we were just like chatting like hanging out. But like never just the two of us always in like group settings. And my parents were like my dad actually. He was like he likes you.

And I was like, no. And my dad's never said that. And I was like dad, he does not like me. And he was like, no. He likes you. Trust me. I'm like, Dad, no, he doesn't.

That's, no. And he did like me. But it wasn't, I didn't have that same. Like I was in like, oh my gosh, you're my person. I feel like the guys kind of know that like that. I feel like boys kind of from the big, yeah, they, something like happens and so I was like, why are you still like chasing me? Like I was not really giving him much at all.

And I'm like, yeah, he's like facing me to hang out. I'm like, my God, get off me for a second. Like, give me some space. I know. But I love what you said because I was, I was actually thinking about this, the, Taylor's song wish list. Like the fact that I'm eight years into my relationship, but I still like get giddy at the thought of like having children with my husband. Like it's still like that's like, I feel like that's like the love that you try for. So like I feel like this whole, we put too much

pressure on the love at first sight thing. Yeah. Like I feel like you now. I always say it's like the two year rule. I have friends like that that put so much pressure on like yeah. And I was always kind of that way too where I'm like, no, I know myself. Like if I meet someone and it's just like not the vibe, I know it's not the vibe and then next. But I think my boyfriend really changed my perception on all of that of like, we just kept hanging out and I didn't even know. I think I was at this weird phase of saying yes to everything in my life. And like he would ask me to do stuff that was like out of my comfort zone a lot.

And I would just be like, yeah, I would never actually ever like want to do any of this stuff. But like go paddleboarding and go to like this random country concert that was like far away. It was just so not my vibe. But I was like forcing myself to say yes because I was kind of down in the dumps. And it ended up turning into this like really beautiful thing. So all my friends when they were like, no, I went on a date and like, no, I'm not feeling I'm like, maybe just give it, you know, give it another try. You never know.

You have to stop going into this idea of like, I would know. I would know because I also thought that I was like that. And it turns out I actually wasn't. Yeah. Well, that's so true. What's something people should stop doing on first dates. Maybe it's that. I think, yeah, I think being so critical and being like, no, it's not, it's no.

I don't like him like that. I think you have to give people sometimes a little more chances. And I think something for me personally, like, and I know this, I overshare too much. And to me, it's just me being me. and I struggle with like that idea of like, is this just me being me? Like if it's me being me, there shouldn't be a problem with that. Yeah. But then also I look back at like random first dates I've gone on and I've been like,

maybe it was too much of myself. And sometimes I feel like people love that. Like a lot of the time I feel like it actually never backfires. Like people love that. But for me, I'm just like I walk away from it being like sometimes like I get like anxiety. You know what I mean? Like where I'm like, I should not have been telling them all that information. Yeah.

What about you? No, I think it would maybe be that. I mean, I haven't been on the first date in a very long time. You're like, well, for me, it's been about eight years. So let me think about this. How long have you been married? We've been married for three. Oh, okay.

We were together for quite some time. Yeah. Yeah, it took a little bit. But no, I think mine would probably be like to not be like critical of it. Because that's the biggest thing I tell my girlfriends. They're like, well, I don't know. I'm like, well, like, go on a couple. Like if you enjoyed their company, but you like, you don't know.

Right. Like, I must go on another day. I'm my friends like, oh, well, yeah, he was cute and he was nice. but, but I'm like, okay, but what? Like, what do you? You think that, like, it's just going to be, I feel like all of a sudden. And then sometimes when you do feel that way where you're like, oh my God, I love this guy and I need to go out with him again. Sometimes he doesn't feel the same way.

Like the amount of videos that it always just me so nuts. And I don't know why I'll see videos of like, I think I was so weird. But I like saw a psychic this one time. Well, a couple times actually, I was consistently seeing the same psychic. Like using him, like, his name's Mano. Like, I was calling him all the time. And he always is like, you're like very male. Like, you're very masculine.

You have a lot of masculine qualities about yourself. And for some reason, I feel like it comes out in your, like, female relationships or girl relationships where you don't understand. Like, there's a lot of things that girls do that you just don't, you don't understand. And it always comes, it's always about, like, males. And I'm like, okay, like, I didn't really get it. And then I'm like, I think I know what he's talking about. Because sometimes when my friends are talking about it or, like, I'll see videos of people that

were like, they'll go on first dates and they'll be like, and we were just, like, hitting it off so hard. And then he kind of ghosted and, like, we had the best first date ever. And he just, he's not giving me answers. And I'm like, oh, I don't know how to tell you this. but like, just because someone can conversate does not mean that was the best first date ever. You know what?

I feel like sometimes, especially with women, like women are very good conversationalists. And then when you meet a man who can keep up with you, you can be like, oh my God, it's him. Yeah. He's amazing. And it's like, no, I think you just met a very charming man for once. And like someone who could actually like keep up with you.

And now you're thinking like you guys were in love and it was a day. But you only went on one date with this man. Like it might, we need to stop putting so much pressure. Like I have friends that like have a couple like a good date. And they're like, no. And he won't text me back and I'm in love. but I'm like, I don't think, because if he felt that way, he'd be texting you too.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, what's your take on texting rules? Who should text first and how soon? Oh, my God. I don't even know. I feel like me, I'm so bad with my phone in general. Like, a low key, a man needs to be blowing me up. Like, a man needs to blow me up, Loki.

Like, my boyfriend would call me randomly at like 2 p.m. I'd be like, want to go for a walk? I was like, this is so random. Like, why are you, why are you faced? He would face me and I would call him. I would call him all the time. He'd be like, like, what are you doing? Like leave me alone, but I actually, that's like why I feel like we hung out so much because he was like pushing the going out.

Like I think if you really want to see someone though, like there's no shame in texting someone. I feel like it's all like an emotional thing. Like it's so up to you. And I truly believe like if it's meant to be. Yeah. It'll be like there's really no rules. When it's the right person, there aren't really rules. Yeah.

But if you're blowing them up all the time and he's not texting you back, it's like, okay, maybe we need to like. Yeah. I think you can, I think you can text first and like show interest because I definitely like sometimes my girlfriend's like the guy will text them after a date and they'll wait like 24 hours to respond. I'm like, why? If you enjoyed it and you want to go again, just text him. Yeah, no one, you shouldn't be thinking about it that deeply. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I think you can text, but then if you're like texting and then they're not putting an effort, then you need to put the same. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, I think it out and being like, okay, like, if he's not text me back, do you really think he's at? No,

he's not. So I need to stop letting him take up. And too, when you're keeping space for people, like, you'll never find someone. I feel like I have friends that like, there's like these guys that they didn't even like date or they actually only met a couple of times but they like save space for them in their minds and I'm like guys we need to stop this guy's not saving space for you and you're not gonna they're like well I just never met I just don't think I'll like meet anybody like him again I'm like I promise you you will yeah when you stop holding space for him yeah no that's so true um what's the worst date you've ever been on oh my god I always feel so bad but it's always the same answer I went on a date with this guy and it was like through a mutual friend and he was cool but it would

he's still like whenever I would like ever be single like he always would still like me again on dating apps after the fact like after this date and I'm like I don't have to tell him this he's the worst actual date that I've ever been on and he knows it at this point like it's definitely he's gotten it back to him that this has been the worst date so I'm sorry but he's just like I'm to me I can talk to a wall so if I'm having a hard time speaking to you, it's bad and I remember like all of his friends he's like I was told he's like such a goofy guy and all this and that and that and I think I think that's true I think sometimes just like maybe you want to date and either you're nervous or you're this or that you're this or that you're you're just like you it's hard for you to really tap into being yourself. But I remember I'd be like, oh, like, so like, you know, did you play sports in high school? If you're asking about high school, that's when you know it's bad. It's like, I have to ask you about high school. We're struggling. And I'd be like, oh, so did you play? And he'd be like, baseball.

I'm like, oh, okay. Well, this is, okay, I'll go fuck myself. Like, this is really awkward. So I think, like, if I can't have a conversation and that was one date where I was like, oh, my God. And then we both had mutual friends, like, meeting up at a bar. And my friends had met us out. And then it was just, we just, like, split up.

There was no end to that date. It was just kind of like, oh, I'm going to go see how to my friends over here. And he was over here with his friends. And then that was it. That was the end of that. Oh, my gosh. What about you? Do you remember a bad date you had?

You're like, actually with my husband, there was. No, well, honestly, the example I'm going to give is with him. But, well, I mean, I was 20 when we met. Oh, okay. So I hadn't really, like, the guy, I dated a guy before him for almost two years. So, like, there wasn't really like. A lot of dating that actually, yeah. Yeah.

There wasn't much, like, dates that occurred. But I was a serial date or so, baby. I got mine. I got my dates in. Yeah. I've done enough dates for a lifetime, I think. You did it for both of us. No, but our, like, one of our worst stage, which is obviously just a fun memory now, is I think

it was like our six-month dating anniversary, whatever you want to call it. We had gone to the sushi restaurant that was like supposed to be like this hidden gem hole in the wall and it was disgusting. Like, it was so bad. And so we were literally taking bites of food, putting it into our napkin. Oh, God. And we took turns going to the bathroom and flushes down the toilet. Oh, my gosh.

Like literally both. And they were like, is it good? We were like, mm-hmm. Like it's actually so, yeah, because I'm like, I can't, I can't speak up like in that situation because I just feel so bad that I'm like, oh, my God. Neither one of us are like that. And my husband especially is, he's just so nice. He would never, and I could never because I'm not confrontational.

So we both were just really shit out of luck in that scenario. So we both went to the bathroom. times. It was like one of those preset menus. So like there wasn't anything like I couldn't, like there was nothing I can do. And he was still kind of newer to sushi. Yeah. I had like sushi, but he was still kind of figuring it out. He's figured out what he does not like. In that moment, he was figuring a lot of what he doesn't like. Yeah. We were both nauseous and we were like, okay, so we're just going to, we literally did, each made like two bathroom trips. And like, I think I threw my napkin away in there once. And I was like, can I get a new napkin? I dropped it.

And then like got a new one. Yep. And then we went and got Mexican food and then it was great. Um, at least it had a happy ending. Yeah, no. One time me and my boyfriend went on a, it was like right before we started a date. It was actually way before we started dating. It was still when he was like trying to, I feel like, court me back in the beginning days. And he asked me to go paddleboarding. And I was like, just like not my vibe.

Like I don't mind a paddle boarding situation. But at this point, I'm like, it was a crappy day outside. It was like a Saturday morning. Yeah. It was with all of his friends. And at this point, like his friends that were visiting and their parents. And I was just like, whoa. Like, this is a lot.

Like, I don't know any of these people. They're all visiting from out of town. Went on this dang paddleboarding date. And everyone just kept like, he kept making, I think he, like, thought it was, like, funny to, like, I think sometimes boys find humor and, like, fucking with people. And I was just, like, not feeling it. Especially because I'm, like, I don't know any of your friends like this. I don't know their parents like this. Yeah. And he kept on just, like, messing with me, making jokes about me not being not being. And we were partaboarding. And then I just, like, started, like, going back. I was like, I'm leaving. And he was like, where are you going? I was like, I'm leaving. Like, this is not fun. Okay. It's, like, started. I don't know anybody here. I keep on getting bullied for not being. I was like, I'm going. I was like, paddle for not being. I'm going. I'm going. I keep on getting bullied for not being. athletic. And he learned, I think, quickly on, like, that was too far. I'm done bullying her. She actually does not react well to being bullied, like, especially in front of people. Oh, my gosh. That's funny. Okay. Last question I have just for you, outside of this tea, time of tea, is I'd love to know what you're most proud of yourself for, because I feel like you

probably what I've learned from you today is I feel like over the past five-ish years, like, you've been through a lot of like growth and change and adjusting and new life. So I think love to know, like, what you're most proud of yourself for. I think for me, I think just knowing where I came from and seeing where I am now is like the biggest thing. You know, like I feel like it's so, when you're, you know, in a small town and you just see everybody kind of doing the same thing. And it's just like a very, everyone's doing the same thing. And you don't really realize I can think what all can be out there in the world. And I think now that I have this experience and I can like look back at a lot of the stuff that I've accomplished, it's kind of crazy.

I even managed to get as far as I have. Yeah. And I think that. just overall whether even like moving like that is such a big like so many people I feel like where I grew up like don't get the chance to move um and it's not even necessarily I think like people can't move it's just that life is just a certain way you know when you grow up it's just very comfortable and there's nothing wrong with that but I think that putting myself in situations that has made me uncomfortable I'm very proud of that because I think that's kind of abnormal from from where I'm where I came from so just doing that and not following what was easy I think at times it would have been the easy decision just to like go to college and do what probably my parents

wanted me to do. And I'm happy that at such a young age, I'm proud of myself to be like, no, like I know this is what I want to do and this is worth it for me and I'm going to try it out. And I think there's just been so many situations along the way in the last couple of years that people have been like, well, how did you know? How did you know? And I think people always expect there to be like your big moment happens and everything just hits you at once. And it's like, now I know. And it's never like that. At least for me, it was never like that. just kind of like, you have to tell yourself you're okay with failing. And I think I went through a lot of phases over the last couple of years of being okay with failing. And sometimes I do.

And then sometimes you don't and you move on. And either way, you grow from it. And I think I'm just really impressed with my resilience over like the last couple of years. Hmm. I love that. Thank you. Well, thanks for joining me today. Thank you so much for having me. I feel like we could have literally chatted for like. Oh, I told you. I had to talk. I can talk, girl. So good. Note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.