The Squeeze - Kevin Hines: All I Wanted to Do Was Live

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, addiction, prostitution  In the year 2000, Kevin Hines became one of only 36 (less than 1%) to survive the fall from the Golden Gate Bridge. Today, he is a best-selling author, public speaker, and award-winning documentary filmmaker who travels the world sharing his story of hope, healing, and recovery while teaching the ability to survive pain over and over again. Today, he opens up about his traumatic childhood, the day his brain broke, and the journey he has been on ever since. He discusses the instant regret he experienced as he tried to take his life, his experience in psychiatric wards, and meeting the love of his life. Kevin offers insight on how to have a conversation with someone you think may be suicidal, what he teaches people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, and what to do when someone tells you they are suicidal. Lastly, he provides an inspiring update on his fight for a net to surround the entirety of the Golden Gate Bridge, his foundation, and offers a direct message to anyone out there considering suicide. Please: Be Here Tomorrow.   To learn more about everything Kevin is doing, visit kevinhinesstory.com and on YouTube   If you or a loved one need support we encourage you to contact these providers:   Call: Lifeline 1 800 273 8255 (USA Only)  Text: CNQR to 741 741 Crisis Text Line (USA Only)  Visit: www.suicide.org (International Phone Numbers)  You can also find resources, including BetterHelp, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, National Suicide Prevention Hotline, and more at lemonsbytay.com/resources  Thanks to our sponsors for supporting this episode:  Lume — Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code THESQUEEZE at lumedeodorant.com/THESQUEEZE! #lumepod  Jenni Kayne — Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code THESQUEEZE at jennikayne.com/THESQUEEZE! #jennikaynepartner  Liquid I.V. — Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco or get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code THESQUEEZE at checkout  GreenChef — Go to GreenChef.com/thesqueeze50 and use code thesqueeze50 to get 50% off plus free shipping  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail]. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner.   To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Over here at the Squeeze we talk about it. Welcome back to the squeeze. Thanks for joining us. Another Wednesday. Or whatever day it is, you're listening to this. This would be true.

I'm Carl Tay. I'm Boytay, and if you are watching on YouTube right now, highly recommend. We will see that we also have our little angel Remington. Yeah, Lily was asleep on the couch. I felt like joining us today. No, she never wants to. But yeah, how we doing today, folks?

We doing. We do it. We doing good. I did have something fun to share. Well, first of all, we had our second solo episode last week. We did. How'd you guys like it? What do we think?

Let us know. Yeah. Send us an email or. Leave a comment down below. Yeah. And let us know what you thought. Yeah. I was going to share, though, that, I mean, we've talked about it on here before, but I've,

honestly, like, since our wedding, I've really struggled with working out with trying to get back in the jam or in a class and do something. I just have not been motivated or wanted to. But I went for the first time in a while this morning and took a workout class. And it was lovely. Let's go. It was great. I missed it. You missed it.

What was it? A bar class? Yeah. How was it? It was tough? I mean, yeah, of course it's hard. The bar is hard. People don't think that bar classes are hard because, like, it's very, like, is it

minimal movement? Is it, I don't know if that's the word. Don't quote me. Sorry. Okay. Work out people. It's just like very like little small movements. It's not like. Yeah, but that burns.

Oh, yeah, it does. I mean, there's me and then I'm, it was me and five other ladies who the youngest was probably like 50. Wow. And they're all like, I'm literally holding like these one pound weights because I was like I'm not going to survive today. I could have done two, but I did one. These ladies are literally holding like five pound weights, if not more, like doing all these things. It's impressive. Yeah, it's great.

It was very humbling, to be honest. You'll work your way up. But it felt really good, and I felt good to be back, and it was definitely, like, good. I mean, we talk about it all the time. It's very, working out is so good for your mental health. And we've just been so busy lately that I feel like I needed to get back in there and do it. So if you've been contemplating getting back to working out, this is your sign. Highly recommend.

Come do it with me. We will do it together. We're in this together. Okay. Yeah. Go team. Proud of you. Thanks, honey.

Well, ladies and Jets, everyone listening, you are in for a treat this week. Yeah. Because this episode is powerful. Yeah. We were very, very excited when we found out that Mr. Kevin Hines was going to come on our show and tell his story. We honestly don't want to get into the details too much of telling Kevin's story because only he can tell it like he does. Yeah, we want to do it justice. Recapping it for you right now. Yeah, he has an unbelievable testimony and it's just powerful.

It's moving. It's touching. And he's for those, for those listening, and watching that don't know, Kevin jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. He's less than 1% of people to survive jumping off the Golden Gate. And now he travels the world, sharing his story and helping people, you know, how to look out for people who may be suicidal, motivating people to speak up if they are. just lots of things that he will kind of dive into. But if you missed our last episode, at the end of it, we had Dr. Chase Anderson on,

and we kind of sat down with him and dove into, like, the basic questions of suicide and suicidal ideation, what they are, myths about them, symptoms, what to do if we think someone's suicidal, what to do if someone tells you they are, things like that. Yeah. And just to kind of help better prepare us for this episode and a few of our other upcoming ones that we have. So if you haven't watched that yet, I highly encourage you to either go now and watch it or after this episode.

If you still have some questions, obviously Kevin answers some questions. But Chase does a very good job at putting things into layman's terms and not using big scientific words that confuse people. He works with children. So I think that was probably a big help. For sure. He was lovely. So after this episode, head on back to our last one. It's like the last 15 minutes or so of last week's episode. Yeah. So that'll help because we definitely learned some stuff.

I learned for the first time interviewing Kevin that you can be chronically suicidal. I had no clue that that was a thing. I guess I was just very ignorant to the thought of after someone has an attempt. Like, I never thought about what happened after that. And not to share too much. but in, you know, Kevin's story, he instantly regret it. So you just like, you'd think, well, if he, you know, went to do that and he instantly regretted it. Yeah. You would just, you just assume that he wouldn't struggle with that thought ever again.

Yeah. But that's just not the case. Yeah. Tons and tons of people struggle with chronic suicidal ideation. Yeah. And Dr. Chase talks about there's two different kinds of suicidal ideation. There's passive and active. And active.

Yeah. But yeah, that was a really great thing to learn and be more aware of. Yeah. Yeah. So we are just truly so excited. We've been so excited to air this episode and share it with you guys because the story is powerful. And we learned a lot. I'm excited for you guys to listen, feel inspired.

And yeah, I hope you enjoy. try it. Yeah, it's amazing. Grab your tissue box. No. We'll see you on the other side. Okay. Kevin. Yes, Taylor. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for being here. We are fans of yours, truly inspired by your story. And just really never thought we would be able to get people like you on this show. So that's, I mean, that was our biggest goal. And it just feels surreal sitting here. here and having you in front of us. Oh, it means a world to me. Thank you very much. Absolutely.

Well, you are both loved for all that you do too, so we're fans. Thank you very much. Thank you. So before we get into all the fun, we kick off each episode with a game of Citrus Got Real. And in this jar, this lemon jar, are random questions. And if you don't mind, could you pull one for us? Okay. And read it.

and I'd love to hear the answer. Okay. They're very, very serious questions. Okay. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? I'm so glad that was the question because I have an immediate, an amazing answer. A. Spindra. And detective, I would watch it over.

I mean, I did. I watched it probably a thousand. I am not your personal entertainer. Oh, God, I love that movie so much, and I love the great Jim Carrey. He is a legend, and I mean, I would watch any of his movies open and over again, but that in particular is the one.

That's a good one. Yeah. Wow. I love that you knew that right away. I know. Didn't even need to think about it. I love the Truman Show, but that's a little hard to watch

because, like, my brain lived that life. So, you know, psychosis is a terrible thing. I've seen you also talk. about some, like, quotes and stuff that Jim Carrey is set. Yeah. Yeah. So not only did you admire him as an actor, but also think he's kind of smart at times. He's very smart and his art is beautiful and he is extremely talented. One of the things that caught my attention to him is that, like, well, first of all, his

former wife and daughter are related to me through marriage. So I always say I'm kind of related to Jim Carrey. Yeah. But he is my absolute. favorite actor of all time. Wow. Yeah. And he's a fascinating human. Fascinating human. Genius. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Wow. What would yours be? What would mine be? Here's would be some Denzel Washington movie. Oh, it would be, what's the one with DeCa that you love? Man on Fire. Yeah, he loved that movie.

Equalizer 17. Yeah, I do. I know. I'm trying to think. I do, I do love Denzel. You can't really do wrong. Yeah, man on fire, definitely. Is it a lot. Is it? I know. I'm trying to think. I know. I'm trying to think. I do wrong. Yeah, man on fire, definitely, is a go-to. But it's also a sad movie. I don't know if I don't want to be sad that often. Or a Sandler movie. I think mine might be anker man if we're going with like the happy ones. Okay.

That might be my. Oh, Anchorman. Yeah. That is your like go-to airplane movie. Yeah. All right. I like it. Well, my dear, I'm going to pass this to you because I know you got a lot to say.

I do have a lot to say. So Taylor kind of touched on just how. excited we are for you to be here and as like we've known your story but obviously doing some more research into you and just your whole story your story's very parallel to a close friend of mine that took his life in many ways so i kind of feel like this is like a cool moment for me and i apologize if i'm emotional i'm also um it's also my time in the month So I'm a little emotional today as it is. But I kind of think this is just a really cool moment for me

because I feel like I'm getting to ask my friend Jared like questions that I haven't. I wasn't able to ask him because his outcome wasn't the same as yours. So I'm just, I'm really excited as emotional as I'm feeling. I'm just like really excited to be here to talk with you about that. Very well said. Yeah. Name was Jared.

Yeah. May he rest in peace. He's over there on my. on my desk the bigger photo. Jared, we love you. Yeah, he's the best. Okay, so obviously we're going to get into your big story of you attempting to take your life. But I want to kind of start from the beginning because I think that's also important to learn about you.

And I think it is really... That's where you, like, sorry to spoiler alert, but that's where you like see so many similarities between like... Yeah. Jared and Kevin. Yeah. Yeah, if you start, not to start from the beginning, but what was like home life like for you? Because I know you were kind of born into an unstable family environment. Yeah.

To say the least, I was born to biological parents I'm adopted who had, after they had me and my brother succumbed to severe substance use issues. and alcohol and hardcore drugs. And in my infancy and with my brother who was 10 months older than me, shotgun babies, Irish twins actually, sorry. And I think, I know that my birth parents loved us. But they had no resources. They had no help. They had no family with them.

And they struggled every day to survive. They had no money. We were born in abject poverty. We lived in the worst neighbor in San Francisco, then, the worst neighbor there today. When we were born, we were in the first few months of our life living in crack motels, the places you pay for by the hour, and if you don't, you're out. And mom and dad did whatever they had to do to pay on that hour by that hour, however illegal that they had to do it. They did squirt and sold drugs every day.

it's my understanding that my birth mom potentially had to sell herself. That was our life. And that meant that they neglected their two children all day long to go do, score, and sell drugs. Leaving infants on a box spring for a mattress over a concrete slab floor. Had we had we had had fallen, we would have cracked their heads open and died. Had we have touched the dangerous drug paraphernalia sharp metal objects on the bed, could have killed us until one day one seedy motel clerk made what I have always called his most unseedy decision.

He heard our screams and cries of pure neglect one too many times and he called the police. And the police came in with child protective services and they swooped me and my brother up smelling sour and putrid of our own filth. And they placed us into foster care. in our formative months, we were fed what mom and dad could steal. Kool-Aid, Coca-Cola, then sour milk was our first diet. It's why I have so many gut health problems today. And, you know, they didn't have the science back then that we have today about gut

to brain health and about how your gut microbiome houses and creates all of your bodies and brain serotonin and dopamine affecting your mental well-being. Yeah. Imagine being fed from birth. those severely processed and poisonous foods. So I was damaged from the very beginning of my life, emotionally, mentally, physically. And in foster care, my brother and I are bouncing around with one idea that we're going to be adopted together, but that's rarely what happens and that's not what happened here.

We both got a vicious strain of bronchitis and went on the foster homes and he died seemingly right next to me. And I immediately developed a severe abandonment issue that I have until today. Every time somebody I love dies, I feel like they're leaving me on purpose and I can't shake it no matter how much therapy I do. And I do a lot of therapy. I was a sickly child and my brother passed away. I kept bouncing around to different homes. But unlike him, I got really lucky.

I landed in the Heinz home. And obviously, you know, my last name, so this works out. Yeah. Debbie and Pat Hines made me their son. And this was very special because they could have had natural born children. Yeah. But they took in three kids from three separate homes. Kids who had nothing and no one.

Kids who were born to parents who had mental struggles and drug use issues. And they saved our lives. Yeah. They saved us. They're not perfect. They're flawed, but they're beautiful. And they saved us. And, you know, I'm mixed. My birth dad was half Mexican and half Italian. My birth mom was Jamaican, black, African, Airwok, Indian, Portuguese, Scottish, Irish, English, and Sephardic Jew.

And my brother's black and my sister's white. And I always say when people saw us, they were very confused. You know, and they made that known. But, you know, with all the racism we experienced, we didn't care because we were happy. Yeah. And growing up that household was probably the most beautiful thing at the time that could ever happen to me. Yeah. And so I grew up, you know, and things were going great until they weren't. So something, as you guys know, that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals.

And as a couple has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support 100% online. You'll experience the all new cerebral way, an innovative approach to mental wellness designed around you. You'll get a personalized treatment plan from a therapist, prescriber, or both in a safe and judgment-free space. I love that cerebral is 100% online because that means you have no excuse. You have to go.

Like there's no, oh, I don't have time to go drive. It's too long of a drive. No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work. And it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah.

And it'll just keep you accountable too. So we highly, highly encourage that you guys check out cerebral because therapy is just then wonders for us. and we know it'll do the same for you. To get started on your path towards better mental health, Cerebral is giving our listeners 15% off their first month of online therapy, medication, or both. Get started at Cerebral.com slash podcasts and use code the squeeze to make

your best year yet. That's C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L.com slash podcast and use code the squeeze offer is only valid on monthly plans. Other exclusions may apply. See site for details. Get going on that therapy. At what age were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder? When did you realize that? So, you know, like I said, we're growing up and and loving life and thriving, right? You know, high school, WCL wrestling champion, football team went to state on the speech and debate team for two days before they kicked me off. but I was there.

Their loss. But at 17.5, it all came crumbling down. My brain broke. And my brain broke on a stage and a theater show in front of 1,200 people, a sold-out audience of one of Mr. John Finnell's plays. And he was the theater director. He was my hero.

He was my mentor. He was my friend. He was my second father figure. and I'm on that stage playing the character Gatch and the show How to Succeed in Business without really trying. And Gatch is like this floundering businessman. He's got the wife at home, but he's messed around a lot of secretaries in the office, you know, that guy.

And I'm wearing one of my dad's old suits and ties that they'd hem to fit me because he's 6'1 and I'm not. And I looked out into the audience. And now I've been having a hard time mentally for. for a while. I've been having these symptoms that I didn't know were called symptoms. Paranoid delusions, hallucinations, depression, mania, all of these panic attacks, heart palpitations, but I didn't know what they were, so I was quiet about it.

My family knew I was unwell. They didn't know why. I didn't know why. And I'm on that stage, and it's not even intermission yet, and I have a complete mental breakdown, and I begin to believe that 1,200 people are going to simultaneously rise, rush the stage, and end my life. So I run off the stage. And I run to the lobby and Mr. John Fennell meets me there. He is, he is, you know, absurdly drunk.

He can never bear to watch his show sober. Oh, wow. He had substance use disorder just like my birth parents. And he approaches me in a drunken stupid, he goes, Kevin, can you please finish the performance, it's not even intermission yet, what are you doing? And I just babbled incoherent nonsense the next 10 minutes.

I couldn't make out three words in a row that made sense. John called my mom. And my mom came to pick me up. I will never forget the look in her eyes. Because I could see inside them that she saw within mind the depths of insanity brewing behind them.

Yeah. She takes me to see my first psychiatrist and he diagnosed. me with major depression. It puts me on those medications. I skyrocketed into mania. He now knows I have bipolar disorder. Triply diagnosed by three separate doctors, including him.

But I didn't want bipolar disorder. I didn't like the term. I didn't want to be labeled mentally ill. So for the next two years, I lied through my teeth about what I was really going through so people wouldn't see me. And in doing that, I in effect got great. That's something a lot of us are good at, silencing my pain.

And when you silence your pain and you bury all of your struggles, they only bubble and grow and fester and until they burst. Yeah. In things like rage, aggression, violence, substance use disorder, eating disorder, suicidal thoughts, it deals, or actions. Yeah. And at 19, I couldn't keep it down anymore. Yeah. And I remember as September rolled around of the year 2000, I was crying every day in my room.

I was going to the bathroom mirror and self-loathing every day and looking in the mirror and hating what I saw. Yeah. It was just, it was brutal. And then I was hearing voices in my head telling me I had to die, auditory hallucinations that I thought, I mean, they were so real. Yeah. I was seeing things that nobody else could see. see, I believe that it would be the only reality, but I didn't tell anyone. Not even your parents.

Not even. My dad, mom had divorced. I was living with my father. He and I were fighting every day. Arguing, screaming matches that should have had the police call. It was terrible. On September 24th, I sat in my room and I petted a note. The note to my mom, dad, brother, sister.

I told them I love them. I said, I was sorry. I asked for forgiveness. I was going to take my life. And I had chosen the Golden Gate Bridge because I believed that I had understood you died upon impact, which most people do.

You know, people say that people go to the Golden Gate Bridge for its beauty and to die there. I think that's nonsense. This whole romanticism of suicide is, it's something people push to spread a narrative. It's not real. People go there because they are in the greatest amount of lethal emotional pain

they've ever experienced. Yeah. And they just want that pain to stop. Yeah, they're hurt. They're hurt. I mean, let me ask you, what is the one thing you want to happen when you find yourself in the most excruciating physical pain you've ever had? What do you want it to do?

Disappear. Disappear. That's physical pain. Relate that to brain pain. Yeah. It's worse because everyone around you invalidates it. Yeah. I can't see it so it can't be real.

Yeah. And so, uh, On September 25th, I convinced my father, who honestly did try to help me that day. Yeah. I convinced my father that I was going to be okay. Mm-hmm. And he drove me to City College. Never forget.

He dropped me off at the kiddie corner off the side of City College campus. And he said, Kevin, I love you. Be careful. He said it every day. He knew. He didn't know how I was going to do this. Yeah. He just knew something was off.

Yeah. He didn't know how to, how to, you know, Nobody taught Pat Hines' suicide prevention. Yeah. Nobody taught Pat Hines that when you have the inclination that someone is considering death by suicide, you must ask the questions, are you thinking of killing yourself,

have you made plans to take your life, and do you have the means? Those questions are proven to get a more honest answer than even the question, are you thinking about suicide, or are you thinking of self-harm? Because the term suicide is such taboo, and self-harm is, by definition, not suicide, it's self-harm.

So, and people think, oh, you put the thought in their mind, that's not real. That doesn't happen. If the thought's already there, they're thinking about it. If it's not there, you're not going to implant it by asking the question. You're going to make sure they're safe. But people don't know that. So my dad picks me up, or drops me off, and I go in a class at City College,

I drop all of my courses with the counselors department. They don't ask me one question. Nine and a half units of 12 and a half units dropped in one moment. Not one question. Now who, what, why, where, went, how. Wow. I go to my last remaining class and I leave that class

I get on a mutine train and I get on the bus and I'm sitting on this bus in the back seat crying like a child bawling like a baby at this point ambivalent

hoping one person will see my pain and ask me if I'm okay if something's wrong can they help me and as I'm sitting there crying yelling aloud at the voices I'm hearing in my head leave me alone

but I don't want to die Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you? And now 100 people are staring at me on a bus, but saying nothing. And the only man to my left says to the guy next to him, what the hell's wrong with that kid while laughing at it? Laughing at my pain.

The bus gets to the Golden Gate Bridge parking lot. 100 people debaward right there. I'm broken. I'm hoping the driver will see me. He says, come on, kid, get off the bus. I got to go. I walked right up to him. waterfalls are now flowing from my eyes.

He just motions for me to get off the bus. I walk across the span of the Golden Gate Bridge walkway. I pace back and forth for 40 minutes crying like a child. Bikers, joggers, runners, turrets, patrol officers searching for suicidal people go by me twice. And for those 40 minutes you're waiting, hoping for anybody to see you're in a hand. One person, see me. Yeah. Please, God, see me.

Say something to me. I can't say it out loud. I can't verbalize it. Yeah. Give me a sign. The voices in my head were so loud. Beckoning. You must die.

Jump now. You must, it's just over and over again. And I remember, and this is something I don't often share, but I'll share with you. I remember as an actor, I think you'll understand this. I remember right when I found the particular light rail, I remember thinking of the film, What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams, because John Fennell, my theater director, seven months before my attempt died by his hands

meant the world to me I remember thinking that film What Dreams May Come with Robin and how his wife passes away in the film and she was his everything and he ends up dying and he wants to go to hell to bring her to heaven yeah

it's probably one of the most beautiful films ever seen and I said I said to myself John I'm coming for you delusional I was like I'm gonna go I'm going to get you and I'm going to bring you to heaven. And then a woman from my left approaches me. Blum and curly hair, giant sunglasses that didn't fit her face. I look at her and she smiles at me.

She's going to ask me if I'm okay. I don't have to do this. I don't have to die today. She pulls out, digital camera and says, Will you take my bicta? He said, sure. She posed several times. Give her a camera back.

She said, thank you. And she walked away. And at that moment, I said to myself the greatest lie I've ever told, absolutely, no one cares. Everybody cared. Everybody cared. And the voice in my head back in jump now, and I did. Yeah. At the moment of free fall, instantaneous regret from my action.

Wow. And then 100% recognition that I just made the greatest mistake in my life and it was too late. Yeah. I fell 250 feet, 25 stories, closing on 80 miles per hour, nearing the speed of terminal velocity in four seconds. In those four seconds, I called out to God and begged him to live. Yeah. I hit the water, immediately shattered my T12, L1, L2 lower vertebrae into shards, missed severing my spinal cord by two millimeters, went down 70 feet, and was drowning, and I didn't want. to drown. All I wanted to do is live. But I thought it was too late. I frantically swam

to the surface. I got closer and closer and I thought, I'm not going to make it. This is where I go. What have I just done? I remember saying to myself, Kevin, you can't die here. If you die here, no one will ever know you didn't want to. No one will ever know you knew you made a mistake. I broke the surface of the water. I bobbed up and down and I prayed, God please save me. I don't want to die. I made a mistake.

On repeat, he heard me. A woman driving by in a red car saw me go over the rail, called her friend in the Coast Guard, who happened to be manning the waters the bridge at that moment. The only reason they got to me in a timely manner before I would set in hypothermia was because of that phone call.

Yeah. In the water, I kept going down. I couldn't get back to the surface. Boots water logged, They're pulling heavy. And I really think I'm going to die here. Yeah. What did I do?

And that's when something begins to circle beneath me. I was like, you've got to be kidding me. I didn't die jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and a shark is going to devour me. Perfect. It turned out to be a sea lion. And the people above looking down believed it to be keeping my body afloat into the Coast Guard boat arrived behind me. If you don't call that a miracle, I don't know what is. I affectionately named the creature Herbert.

Herbert saved my life that day. Thank you, Herbert. Thank you, Herbert. Coast Guard arrived. They were amazing. The doctor at the hospital, Dr. Jonathan Levin, who I just had a reunion with after 22 years. Wow.

Dr. Jonathan Levin, he asked me to do the Grand Round speech at his event, at his possible event, and he saved me the ability to stand, walk, and run. Wow. He performed a back surgery on me the first of its particular kind. And I thought it was the only of its particular kind until recently when I learned, when the doctor's there, that they took that surgery that he invented for me and have used it now 13 times to save the lives of all the other jumpers off the Golden Gate Bridge that have survived.

Wow. So of 39 survivors, less than 1% of those who jumped in the last, you know, almost a century, we all have the exact same back surgery. Same injury. They have effectively raised the mortality level of jumpers off the Golden Gate Bridge because of this surgery. Because of the surgery. Yeah. Wow.

So I always look at life like, I get to be here. Yeah. I get to be here. And getting to be here is a privilege and a gift no matter of the pain you might be in. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. I just had one question.

I'm curious about if you'd be here. don't mind those four seconds. Yeah. Did that feel like eternity? Like did it feel like four seconds or did it feel like what did that feel like? It actually felt like less than four seconds. Okay. It felt like I went from the rail to the water immediately.

Okay. The thing that occurs because the fog, in the area is the fog when you're going that fast feels like shards of glass hitting your face. Wow. Yeah. Very scary. Yeah. My first thought that I have is I always say with my friend Jared, like with loss,

I feel like comes just like great purpose and value and drive because with like the loss of his life, it is now fueled a lot of what I do to do stuff and I'm able to help save people. and the same goes for you that, you know, you had this event. Not only are you saving people's lives by talking about what you went through, but you're literally saving people's lives because you broke your back. And now this doctor has the surgery that he's been able to use on so many people. Yeah. Like that's not coincidence, you know?

That's divine timing right there. Yeah. With that. Yeah, absolutely. So you're there. You have your surgery. What was recovery? like because not only are you physically recovering, but I'm sure you're mentally recovering and

I don't know, like are you asking yourself like God, why did, why did you let me live? Like, why am I living? Like what was that time after like for you? Yeah. So, so you have to understand like it, I jump, I live. I'm in the physical hospital of four and a half five weeks, going from a wheelchair to a walk in a back brace to a back brace and it came after my 10.5 hour back surgery to replace my shadow ruby with titanium and a metal plate and metal cage. And then into my first psych ward, because you can't just go home after that, right? Yeah. And that was brutal because there was so many people in there that were so seemingly much more

broken than I was mentally. And even the people I roomed with were just very, they were gone. Yeah. And it was vicious. And, you know, even in California, straight jackets were illegal then, but they were still being used on all of us when we were out of. line and you'd be placed in white walled padded room in a stray jacket, which is the most restrictive thing you can imagine, which no one wants, right? And then I would have 10 psych words days

after that until 2019 pre-pandemic. But I will tell you the most important psych word stay for me was my third psych word stay of 10. It was where I had what I call my epiphany and the gift. The epiphany came in the form of my uncle George. He was my... Favorite uncle on my mom's side. He was a character, big old barrel belly, and he made everyone in our lives laugh with terribly inappropriate jokes and still does to this day. But on that day, he came to see me. He was in a really bad mood.

It was my third psych ward stay, and he and my family were done. And he comes in with a rolled up magazine in his right hand. And he comes in on a special admit against visiting hours. And he goes, Kevin, your family can help you until we are. blue in the face. But until in one young man, you take a hundred and ten percent responsibility for the fact that you have this disease and you fight a tooth and nail,

kidding, nothing going to change. Do you want to be in and out of these places the rest of your life? And I said, no, Uncle George. And he goes, well, get it together. Kid, we're counting on you. And he walked out. Wow. Drop the magazine, said, read it and walked out. I'm like, you're not my favorite uncle anymore. Because it's already gone. I pick up the magazine. Time Magazine article

on how to fight bipolar depression, mental illness, with regimen, routine, and win. And I'm thinking, you mean I can do these things and I might actually feel better? Why did my first three psychiatrists say anything about this routine and regimen stuff? Yeah. And so I read the magazine article twice, how to build a routine with mental illness. And I go to my case manager, Jana from Brooklyn, Tough Lady.

And I say, Jana, you've got me on 10 forms of therapy and give me five forms of therapy and something productive to do. I'm bored. and I basically built a routine of like exercise, education, eating healthfully, being honest in therapy, who knew that was a good idea? You know, like, I just built a 10-step regimen on my own, but what I was going to do is change my world. I started getting better. And I'm in the hospital for two months because I'm waiting for a halfway home for

the mentally ill. Nobody is willing to take me home. Not my family, not my friends. Nobody is willing to house me. It's either get new halfway home for the menloyal or be homeless. So in this third psych ward's day, and the gift came in this moment where this young man rolls in on a gurney. He's catatonic, meaning he can't move and he can't talk. Methanthamphetamines and other drugs.

He had an overdose. And he comes in on a gurney. And it really broke my heart because the staff of the hospital would not help him because he couldn't help himself. So they roll him in a wheelchair into the cafeteria for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. and they'd leave him there in front of a tray of full food. And then when he couldn't eat it, they'd take that tray away full of food. He was starving. And everybody else ignored him.

Staff, patients, I would sit with him every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I would tell him stories with the hopes that I could elicit a response. The most important part of this young man, his name was Eduardo, is that 15 to 22 people would come to visit him every day. Nobody comes to visit you at a psych ward. This kid had two entourage. It was beautiful. Phyllis,

Spanish American family, gorgeous family. Every single day they were there. They couldn't even get in during visiting hours at the same time. Only two were allowed during the,

and you switch off during the hour. So they're all in the tiny waiting room with the wired glass putting their hands on the wired glass. Taking turns. Taking turns. Well. With this catatonic kid

who couldn't even respond to them. I'm talking him every day trying to get him to break out of his show. Finally one day he goes like this. Jesus Christ, man, you talk too much. I know your whole life story.

Got a guy at break. people are clapping in the background. I mean, it was just the lady that was always clapping, but she meant it for me. And I'm thoroughly excited. Anyway, so I go to my case manager again. Jana, I need a job. She goes, you want to volunteer for the psych ward? You're staying?

I said, Kevin, that's highly unethical, probably illegal. That's not going to happen. I said, well, Jana can I at least have a hug? She said, get away from me. Jana goes on vacation the next day. Tough lady. Yeah, tough lady. Jana goes on vacation the next day, and the new case manager comes in, certified San Francisco

1960s hippie. Huge salt and pepper hair out to hear, curly fried and cued. Lay of flowers around her neck, she handpicked from her garden every morning and made herself flower in her right of her, tie-dye shirts that she claimed were different every day. It was the same shirt she smelled.

She had underarm hair. It was just her prerogative, that's fine. And so I end up going to her. I'm like, hey, give me a job. And she's like, you all have volunteer for the psych ward? That sounds like a lovely idea. What can we have you do? And I said, and so she goes,

she turns around and they had left this lady alone at the nurse's psych ward station, which was huge and it was dangerous. She goes to the row of binders, 22 giant green binders. She says, I know, you can file these. I said, what are they? She said, patient binders. You ever heard of privacy laws, nurse? Can I can't do that? She said, just do it alphabetically and don't look at the details. Don't look at the details. Oh, my gosh. So I did it alphabetically and I didn't look at most of the details. So I finish filing the binder. She gives me my next gig. Clean out the giveaway clothes closet

when people leave the hospital they get something to wear. So I walk over there and I box, bin, label everything, separate it out, and I realize all the men's stuff sort of fits me. So I come out of the closet

with a Ralph Lauren, double-breasted polo suit and a 70s yellow-flared collar like some kind of gangster owns a place. And I walk up to the intersticicicist station and I have five-finger disc discounted a notebook, clipboard, and pen, and now I'm the official hospital documente.

It's just leaning out at the Ninja Turtle that I'm drawing. I still have that drawing. It's incredible. And I put it, you know, I'm working. I'm working there. It's my job. And the next day I'm wearing a pink polo shirt, khaki cargo shorts and sandals right out the box

from the giveaway clothes that fit me to the teeth. Wow. And I'm at the Nurses of Psychwar Station. And if they've got one of those microphones that, you know the drop-down mics from a boxing ring? It looks like that. Yeah. Except with the stand on it.

And I'm making the visiting hour announcements. And I'm rhyming them because that's more efficient. And I get a tap on my left shoulder. And there she was. Her eyes were almond brown, sexy, and cool. And I was done. I was done. And I knew she'd be the rest of my life. I just didn't know how. And I was like, don't tell her that. That would be awkward. You just met her. And in front of the entire staff, everyone was like 20 people were there. She goes, excuse me, do you work here? Just like that. And I was like, as a matter of. a fact miss, I am a volunteer. And she, and they didn't say anything because I worked to her.

And she goes, I'm looking for my cousin, Eduardo. Do you know what room he's in? And I said, madam, right this way. And I put my hand on the smaller back in her elbow and I glided her there, which she said was later just creepy. I saw my dad do it once. But I get her to the room and the kid sees me and he hates me. I talk too much. Remember? And so this is her cousin, the kid at water, the catatonia. And he sees me, and I duck out into the hallway, trying to be slick. And she goes, your nursing staff is so nice, because I'm the only patient, not in that hospital gown. Right. And, and, um, and of course, the clipboard. And he goes, that guy, that guy's a nutball. That guy jumps off bridges. Don't talk to that guy. And I ran in there. I said, excuse me.

It was one. One bridge. That's ridiculous. And she goes, why did you lie to me? I said, Margaret. I didn't lie to you. I am a volunteer at this very hospital. I just happen to also live here. And so she comes out and she ends up visiting Eduardo like every day. And he's about to get out of the hospital. And she comes in one day and I muster up all my courage. And I stop her short at the hospital room door.

I said, Margaret, when I get out of here, could I like take you a coffee? And she smiled at me. So I thought, Oh, I got this. And she looks around at the H-shaped psych ward and she goes, oh, honey, hell no. And I was destroyed when I was persistent. So the kid gets out of the hospital for me, right? Okay.

He's doing well. And by the way, he's sober and clean today. He's incredible. So he gets out of the hospital and I get out and I go to my halfway home. I get into the halfway home. I do my 30-day probationary period. Father rules, two of the tier, you're out of there. Okay.

I'm living off at $3 a day. Social Security disability goes to the house. I get $3. Wow. Bives me a cup of coffee at Tullies or half of a bagel. If Pete at Noah's, it's nice to me, he wasn't always nice to me. Right? So I start saving up the $3 every day and eating the frozen food at the halfway home.

I'm saving up the $3 to take Margaret out to dinner in my mind. I call Margaret 30 days into the halfway home. I say, Margaret, it's Friday. I'd like to take you to dinner. She goes, she was just so thrilled. She couldn't find the words. I said, Margaret, it's a date. If it goes out, you never have to see me again.

She goes, oh, okay. I'm so excited. We got a second date. And just this weekend, we had our 16-year wedding anniversary. And I tell you the story because she is my best friend, my hero, my heart, my everything. And the reason I have survived chronic suicidal thoughts for the last 20 years is because of Margaret Heinz. she's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

And I feel like, you know, people said I was the luckiest man in the world described in the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm not. I'm the luckiest man in the world to have Margaret Hyde. She's my greatest gift. And without her, I wouldn't be alive a thousand times. And, you know, I just, we're working with producers right now on a scripted film version of the story, narrative film. And, yeah, after the writer's strike is over,

we're going to attach writers and officially begin development, and we all can't wait to begin. And I'm just so blessed to be sitting with both the you, because I never thought this would be possible. Every moment I get past the day I should have died is a gift. Every millisecond I get to breathe is a gift. Every person I get to meet It's a gift

Yeah So thank you very much for having me on this show Of course Of course Well I did not know Your guy's story So that was So Eduardo

Is your cousin Wow Did not see that twist coming I was on the edge of my seat When he said Looked into those brown eyes And I was like oh I was like, we talk about the brown eyes that I think we are talking about.

Your ability to like, just like laugh about literally like you're cracking jokes as you're saying, oh, I didn't die from jumping off a bridge. I'm going to die from a shark now. Like how do you how do you do that? Like it's so cool that you're able to do that. You have to find humor in the pain. Yeah. Yeah. Because look, if I go to a speech and, And, you know, I travel 250 days a year telling my story. If I go to a speech and I leave the audience in pain, I've done my, I've not done my job. I've done a terrible job. Yeah. I can't do that, you know.

I have to go to a speech and I have to bring levity at every turn because how else are we going to hear this really? It's a really, it's a hard story to hear when you really break, like from the infancy to, I mean, you know, I've been drank until blackout in high school until I was 21. I went out of alcohol poisoning. and I haven't touched alcohol since my 21st birthday because of that alcohol poisoning. Like there's so many aspects of the story. And I think that's what, I think that's why people relate to it. Yeah. Because there's so many different things, foster care, birth parent, you know, the whole, the whole story affects somebody in some way.

Or you meet people who lost loved ones to suicide. And like to people who have lost loved ones to suicide, I always say, hear me right now. It was not your fault. they didn't die because of you or in spite of you or something you said. They died because of a lethal emotional pain that had nothing to do with you. My sister blamed herself for the next 15 years from what I did. She became homeless because of it. You know, she nearly lost her life because of it.

You know, and someone saved her and her most dire moment, you know? You know, those three questions I said, are you okay? Is something wrong? Can I help you? The questions I wanted desperately to be asked. When I left off the Golden Gate Bridge, somebody walked up to my sister in her moment right before she was going to kill herself and said, are you okay? And can I help you?

That woman saved my sister's life. Wow. Gave her a home, housed her, clothed her, fed her, saved her life in every aspect that you could possibly imagine. Yeah. You know, and so, you know, if we just take away from this story that kindness and compassion, no matter what the person believes in, where they come from, what gender they are, what race they are, no matter any of that crap, no matter if they judge you, don't judge them.

You don't know what they've been through. Yeah, for sure. You know nothing of what they've been through or what they're going through. Yeah. Just be kind, compassionate, loving, caring, empathetic, and non-judgmental to every person you come across. Yeah. Every person, no matter what.

Yeah. Because that kindness can go a long way. Yeah. I did a speech at the Lollapalooza of the Crisis Text Line years ago, and I told, this story and I talked about if you see that person on that park bench or that

or that bus bench and they're crying and their heads in their hands and they're in a desperate round of pain. Don't walk by them anymore. Walk up to them and say something. You could save their life. Suicide prevention is everybody's responsibility. Yeah. Yeah. That's so true.

And I feel like it's scary because it's like an unknown thing. They think you need to ask like do you want to commit to it? Like they think you need to ask stuff, but it's really just those simple questions. And I know for me, even with nursing, like, when we do, like, the crisis scale on people, you have to, like, ask them those questions. And I've always just thought there's a different way to, like, approach it. Obviously, when you're, like, medically, there is a way to do it. But I never felt comfortable doing it. And I

always questioned, like, how am I going to approach someone? Yeah. And say that. Like, I feel very uncomfortable asking my patient if, like, if, like, they're debating, like, taking their life right now. If they, you know, there's a, there's a way to do it, which I think a lot of people don't fully understand that it's literally just like causing and talking to someone and just having an actual human conversation and asking a simple question, are you okay? Like, what's wrong? Like, checking in with someone. I think, I think parents often ask me, like, what do I say my teenager and ask?

How do I start that conversation? Yeah. I'll say this first. The question, the conversation needs to be had at the bracket of lunch and dinner table of every home on a regular basis. more teens and children are dying by suicide than ever before in the history of this world. More seven to 10-year-old children are dying by suicide than ever before in the history of this world.

More five to 10-year-old black children are dying by suicide than ever before in the history of this world. And so we have to look at our children who are being destroyed by pain and we have to say in a calm way. Hey, and if you're in the hospital, it's like this. Like, hey, you know, I don't want to offend you, but I'm worried about you.

Yeah. I'm worried about some of the things you've been exhibiting, and I want to ask you a couple of questions. But before I ask you those questions, I want you to be 100% honest with your response. You're not in any trouble. These are important questions. They matter, and you matter. Okay, here we go. Are you thinking of killing yourself?

Have you ever made plans to take your life? Do you right now have the means to do so? wait for the response. If the response is no, why would you ask me that? Great, there you go. Great, great answer. They're safe.

You're not going to put the thought in their mind. But if the answer is like, how did you know? Okay, well, elaborate, what do I know? Well, I was thinking about taking my life and I did have a plan and I do have the means.

Okay. What is bringing to that conclusion? Why do you think you have to take your life. Extend the conversation. Don't shut it off. Don't make them feel judged. Don't tell them they're wrong.

Millions of people around the world of suicidal thoughts. Millions upon millions. They're not bad people. There's nothing wrong with them. Don't make them feel stupid. It is normal. Normalize the conversation.

Exactly, Taylor. Normalize the conversation. Yeah. Courage, normalized, question, recovery. Conquer. Courage to talk about your mental health. Normalize the conversation. Ask those three questions.

Are you thinking of killing yourself? Having me planned and sake of life, do you have the means? Recovery R is living proof. Yeah. I'm living proof. Yeah. I'm not,

you know, the biggest thing people don't, like, get wrong about me, I think when I, when I meet them in person, um, is they think I'm healed and recovered.

Right. I'm not recovered. Right. I'm in like recovery, like one would be from substance use, like my birth parents would be if they were still alive. Like,

I'm in recovery every day. I struggle every day. I'm struggling now. I have paranoid delusions, I have hallucinations, I have depressions, I have it all. But I have the tools to cope with it and to always survive it. The two things I do every time I'm suicidal and I'm suicidal a lot of the time. Chronic thoughts of suicide, they plague me. Two things I do every time.

Two things I teach people around the world to do. Find a mirror, any mirror, anywhere. Look in that mirror and say these words. My thoughts do not have to become. my actions, they can simply be my thoughts. The second thing you need to do is turn to the closest person to you and say four simple but very effective words. I need help now.

Make that your shorthand for when you're through the saddle. Tell everybody who loves you what that shorthand is so they know what to do. I need help now. And if you don't know the person, it doesn't mean they can't help you. It means you need to work and say those words. until you find someone willing to empathize. Don't stop until you find that person or those people. Say it until you get the help you need.

Yeah. And for the people listening who think that someone might say that to them and the people listening who have someone come to them and say they're suicidal, my suggestion is to sit with them. Just physically be there. Open your ears. Listen to understand, not to respond. Yeah.

Hear what they're going through. Yeah. feel what they're going through and let them know there are other options. Let them know that hope is around the corner. But you have to put in the hard work, the effort and the time and the energy to get to that hope.

It doesn't just come naturally for all of us. And not everybody has a support network like I have, but I didn't always have a support network when my family abandoned me. For sure. I built that. I created that. So every technique, every tool you can learn, Google University, YouTube University, do your homework.

Go to my channel. I've got 700 videos designed to help you better your brain health. Take them. They're free. They're yours. We have to be willing to learn from others how to survive for ourselves. And if we are truly alone, if we truly have no one, we have to be. come our best advocate. We have to be the ones that say, I'm not going to let these thoughts

take me from this world. I deserve to be here until my natural head never to have my hands. Yeah. It's a matter of perspective and perception. Change yours now. Yeah. Yeah. I love listen to understand and not to respond because I think so many people just need to be hurt. I mean, it was like you on that day, that morning. Like, you just, if you would have been heard, it might have prevented that. And I think that's just like listening to people and just letting them know that, you know, there's, there's people out there that, you know, want to hear what they're going through and just care what they're going through. Like, that alone can help save lives.

You've petitioned in the past about this net surrounding the Golden Gate, and I believe you probably can update me. Is that coming to completion this year? Has it yet? And what were your first thoughts when you heard that they were going to do it, and you saw that net for the first time?

So there has been an 87-year multiple effort, to raise the rail or net at the Golden Gate Bridge. I didn't know about that. Seven fights that failed. Wow. One fight that is succeeding. Wow. In 2006, the film The Bridge came out by Eric Steele.

My father and I were featured in it, documentary, for 10 minutes. Okay. It was said and acclaimed by many to be the most poignant part of the film. The film goes on to be critically acclaimed and then also damned by people who didn't get what he was doing. But he showed people dying off the Golden Gate Bridge and said, why is this happening? What are we going to do about it? There was no bias in the film, pure and simple. These people are dying.

It's a public health crisis. Why do we allow it to still go on? My father, Paul Mueller, and Dave Hall founded the Bridge Rail Foundation right after that film came out. I was a founding board member. We fought for 23 years to raise the net at the Golden Gate Bridge to effectively stop the suicides there forever. Yeah. The net was approved on June 27, 2014. Delays ensued all the way until now.

It is 70% complete across the bridge that is 360,000 square feet. It will be done by December of this year. Not one more soul will ever again die off the Golden Gate Bridge, and it will become the largest, brightest, most powerful beacon for suicide prevention right around the world. It's going to be incredible. We all worked for so long to make this happen. A great group of small people,

small group of like many people got together and said no more. And consequently, we're making a film called The Net, a documentary about the journey to this point. It's going to be one of the most historic films of its kind because nothing like this has ever been done on the most frequented spot for suicide in the world. This is one of the most special things I've ever been involved in. Can't imagine. I can't wait for the Net to be done so that no one. else has to die at the Gongay Bridge. And now what's happening is because of this fight, the Bridge Railroad Foundation is opening

up itself up to teach people how to change policy. We change policy here. We can do it anywhere. Yeah. To change policy in tall building structures, buildings, bridges, and railways to stop suicides around the world by reduction of access to lethal means, which we know saves lives. Why? Because when you show people in a community that you care, it sends a message to the rest

the people. When they put up a net, a railing at a bridge, suicides drop there to zero. They drop in the metropolitan counties around that area because you've shown people a community that you care and that people matter. Yeah. And that they're important, that they're valued, that they're loved. Yeah. And they actually see what happens in those places and they go, I need help now and they get it. Yeah. Because I imagine sometimes it just, it takes that moment, like it back to just realizing that. people care and just seeing that alone could change somebody's mindset. That's really special.

That's unbelievable. As a matter of fact, I'm happy to say there's already been one save. Someone didn't realize there was a net, jumped in the net part of it, and was saved the next day. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Truly amazing. You and your wife have your foundation.

Can you tell us a little bit about what you guys do? because you guys are really changing the game and changing the world. So we travel the world sharing stories to all walks of life. You know, one of the biggest things we do is work with the military. And we do that because so many of our servicemen and women are dying by suicide every day. You know, the number is 22 a day, but it's far more than that because it's so underwere. reported. And we work with law enforcement because it's a huge, a huge death rate for suicide. Doctors and lawyers, huge death rate for suicide. We work with them as well. And we actually,

we gave scholarships for youth to go to suicide branch and conferences and try to be, to join the field to become therapists and clinicians and doctors. So we've done a lot of that work. But we are focused with all that we're doing more on our film endeavors. and creating content that is science-backed, evidence-informed, proven to change people's minds, perspectives, and perceptions so that when they're suicidal, they can watch these videos and films and choose life. We made a film called Suicide the Ripple Effect a few years ago. It came out in 2018.

It's been credited with saving over 700 lives. It's been seen by 2 million people in 20 different countries, and that's why we're continuing to make documentary films that have that similar effect. But obviously with all that work, you need help to do it and to scale it. And so we're looking for people around the world who have the same mission who help to fund these projects. And they're vast and they're expansive. But you have to understand that they are absolutely saving lives.

We don't call ourselves lifesavers. Like, I'm a conduit. I give a message. I give a message. People go home. They do the work. They're really saving and changing their own lives. I'm just the guy that got them to think about what they're going to do to change their

position in life. That's how I see it. But I can say that people credit us in these films with saving the lives. And as far as the YouTube channel is concerned, we get thousands of letters saying that this or that video saved my life. And then the people write it and they say this video saved my life and continues every time I've become suicidal because I'm learning that so many people have chronic suicidality, but they never knew how to say it out loud. They never used the terminology before. Chronic suicidal thoughts, which people don't really understand, but they're they're thinking of putting it into the next DSM on mental illnesses. So it's the handbook of mental illness.

So it's going to be a continued effort until we die of natural causes, never by our hands to make these films and these types of viral videos so that they can have an effect on lives and change lives forever. And when I think about the impact it's had personally, hundreds of thousands of people have written to me and said the video I saw, the story you shared, the speech you gave, or seeing you in person saved my life. And there's nothing more therapeutic in the world

than something like that. I actually stopped going to therapy regularly because I get so much from my family and friends and from the people who come see me that I'm not saying I don't need therapy. I love to talk, you can tell. But I love therapy, but I don't need to do it. Now I do it. once a month or something. You don't do it every week now. Yeah.

Because I volunteer for a cause. Yeah. That is bigger than myself. And when people volunteer for a cause, they're 63% more mentally healthy than those that do not. So give back wherever you can. Yeah. You know? So we do a lot in that realm and we're working very hard to make those things real and

and to have them change lives. We're working on some projects with addictions and substance use issues. and obviously mental health. We try to do it in subtle, moderate, mild, to somewhat overt. It depends on the project. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow, wow, wow. So special, guys. Yeah. If there is somebody listening right now at this moment that is, you know, struggling with the thought of taking their life, what would you say to them? For all of you right now

who are listening, viewing, watching, who are considering dying by suicide, stop. Take a breath. Take 30 more resonance breaths. Into your nose for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Release six to eight seconds with pursed lips like a whistle but no sound.

Do it 30 or more times. Bring your body and your mind to a calm. It will, I promise. Breathe. Going to pass away someday. None of us have cracked the code to immortality. I beg. of you, please give yourself time plus hard work for things to change. There is no uberification

of your wellness. There's no one pill to take. There's no one exercise to do. You will only improve one percent a day with effort, energy, and time. You deserve this life into your natural end. You are beautiful just as you are. You are a thousand times greater than the worst thing you ever have done. You're meant to be here. Please, please, stay. Be here tomorrow and every single day after that, and if nobody else says it today, we love you. We want you to stay. We love you. Yes, we do love you. And Kevin, we love you. And we are so thankful for you and for your story and for the work that you do. And thank you for being here.

And thank you for being here. Thank you for just sharing your story continuously and inspiring people and just doing what you do. You're a very special human being. And we're beyond thankful to have you and to have met you here in person. Ditto. Sweet. Ditto. Well, thank you, Kevin, for sharing your story with all of us and being so vulnerable.

And, I mean, I was holding back tears there. I don't even know. I didn't hold back. I couldn't hold back tears. I know. Yeah, I mean, I talked about it a little bit during the interview, but parallels that, you know, Kevin's has to my friend Jared, who unfortunately isn't with us anymore, definitely kind of took over me and are creeping in as I'm talking about it now.

But it's just so cool that, you know, Kevin's, like, he's here today. He's living. He gets to share, you know, his story and just help save so many lives. Oh, yeah. He's truly changing the world. Yeah. Saving lives on the daily. Yeah.

And then once this net is fully complete. I mean, it's already saved somebody's life. Yeah. It's just, it's, it's just amazing. It's really like, out of loss for words. And we're so thankful for Kevin. And again, if you guys have any more questions about us thoughts, want to further your education on suicide and suicidal ideation had to our previous episode

with Dr. Chase Anderson. It's the second half of our episode. We kind of go over the basics there. So I highly encourage you guys to do that. As always, you guys subscribe and are following us. You can email us at latner. dot the swee's podcast at gmail.com for any

stories, comments, concerns. Last episode, we introduced our key time with Tay. So if you guys need any life advice, any requests on anything, anything you guys want us to talk about, you could send it there. We always do question boxes on our Instagram at the squeeze. We newly have a TikTok called The Squeeze podcast.

So lots of, lots of social media for you guys to check out and be inspired and get some good, you know, awesome, encouraging content. Yeah. But we're very thankful for you guys. I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. Yeah, and go take that workout class because I did it. And you can do it too. And we'll see you guys next week.

All right. See you. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.