The Squeeze - Laura Lee: You Are Worthy Pt. 1

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

In this week’s episode, the Lautners are joined by YouTube star Laura Lee for an honest conversation about her journey from a chaotic childhood to building an online empire. Laura opens up about growing up with an alcoholic father, her family’s struggles, and how her sister’s teenage pregnancy led her, her mom, and her sister to leave her dad—only to face severe poverty. She shares how those early challenges fueled her drive to create a better life, from posting her first YouTube videos to moving to California with her now-husband Tyler Williams. Laura reflects on her rise to success, amassing millions of followers and launching her own makeup line. Check back next week for part 2, where Laura dives into how a major public controversy led to one of the lowest points in her life, the court battle to adopt her niece, what she’s most proud of today, and more.Be sure to follow Laura on Instagram https://instagram.com/larlarlee/ and YouTube https://youtube.com/@laura88lee, as well as her podcast https://youtube.com/@foolcoveragepodcast!To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram:The Squeeze:  https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/Tay Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylautner/Taylor Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/& TikTok:  https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow  https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Put your water to work with Gatorade Hydration Booster. You can use code BOOST20 on Gatorade.com to try it yourself for 20% off.Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code Squeeze.Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop for person this season at saks.com.Head to JLOBEAUTY.com/SQUEEZE to receive 20% off and THREE FREE GIFTS - a one hundred and seventy-five dollar value.Visit DrinkCulturePop.com and use code SQUEEZE at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.Visit Justingredients.us and use code squeeze for 15% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Take your time. I've completely shut off my personal life and like sharing that. I'm so ready and happy to open up. I hated him, to be honest with you. That was very eye-opening for me. Like, he started drinking so heavily. Police being called in and out of our house growing up, arresting him. I don't want to get emotional.

I honestly don't. I just wanted to talk about it, you know. My dad ruined every moment that could have possibly been a good moment in my life. Life had gotten rough, like worse and worse and worse. I remember that, okay, I hate that I'm crying about this. I really do because, like, it hurts. This part hurts. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them?

Over here at The Squeeze, we talk about it. Welcome to The Squeeze. Ooh, I'm so excited to be here. We are just absolutely so excited to have you. We adore you. And we're honestly really excited for people to hear your full story because you have lived a life to say the least. And a lot of it you've never really opened up about before because it is so sensitive. And we just feel like so honored that you're here and that you trust us with this to share your story.

So thank you. Yes. No, thank you for having me. I'm a huge fan of this podcast. I love everything you guys do. And I am so recruited online because I've been online for so many years. I've been doing this for 11 years. So I feel like, you know, maybe like these past five, six years, I've been so recruited.

I've completely shut off like my personal life and like sharing that. And we can totally jump in and talk about that. But recently I've been like, damn, I want to go back to like the old me and I want to open up more. And then you guys reached out to me of this podcast. I was like, wow, the universe really. just delivered this on a silver platter for me. So I'm so honored to be here. And like, I'm so ready and happy to open up now. Like the time couldn't be, timing is everything and it just can be more perfect. Yeah. That's awesome. It's so full circle because can we say that like the Jacqueline

connection? Yeah. You know, we've had Jacqueline and Jordan on the podcast. Yeah. And we've become very good friends with them recently. And she was like, you need to talk to Laura. Like she is just incredible. would love her. Her story is just insane and she's just an amazing person. So we were like, oh, we need to reach out to her. And here we are. Wow. That's how it, that's how it all happened. What an honor. Which is just so cool. Thank you. Love Ms. Hill. Yes. We are a fan of a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. Okay. So I figured we should just start at the beginning. Yeah. Because you had a very chaotic, to say the least, that shaped you in a pretty big way. And when you think back on your childhood, what are like the first few things that come to mind? I've mentioned like online that I've had a chaotic

childhood, but I've never really gone into the details of like what that was. And I've mentioned online that my father was an alcoholic and that had a lot to do with my, why my childhood was so chaotic. But I never really talked about the details of that. And I'm, I'm excited to. I'm ready to. I want to. So I grew up from Montgomery, Alabama. And just to give some context to my parents, they grew up like in a super like country rule area in Alabama. Like my mom grew up. She was born in 58, but she grew up in the 60s and 70s. No running water in the house.

You know, just like super country. She had seven brothers and sisters. And like they all raised each other. And it was just like the wild, wild south that my mom grew up. And kind of same for my dad. My mom dropped out of high school at 17 to marry my dad. They moved to Montgomery, Alabama, which is a capital city, but it's still a very small city. It's probably 150,000 people population.

So, like, I live in L.A. What are we 9 million? You know what I mean? It's all about perspective. So if you're from a smaller part of Alabama, you're going to be like, no, this is the city. But, like, my perspective is smaller. But my parents moved there, got married. And my mom was, God, they were so young.

But they started having children. that have my brother and sister. And then I was born. And my parents didn't raise us traditionally just because for them, they were raised, like, so southern. They're, like, working, like, on a farm. And, like, that was important. And you had kids to, like, help feed the family

and, like, take care of, like, farm, you know, life. It was just so different how they were raised. So they kind of raised us that way, honestly. Which is so interesting because, like, we weren't born at that time, kind of raised similarly to them. Yeah. And my mom, by the time my mom had me, I will say my dad, my dad was a good man, but he started

drinking so heavily about the time I was born. So my whole life, my perspective, my father is him being an alcoholic. And when I say I had like chaotic childhood, it really has to do a lot with him and that, because my mom was the best, absolute best. And then, you know, gosh, all the days. details that go into that. It's like, where do I even begin with that? My earliest memories are police being called in and out of our house growing up, arresting him. My dad won Thanksgiving, we were, you know, God, we're just jumping right in. I'm like, where I was doing anytime?

Let me talk about my childhood trauma. I'm opening a red-up. That's what we do here. We just did. We get to the point. We're getting right to the point. For three minutes in. And I'm not excited, but I'm like ready to talk about this and I want to. And like, my perspective in my life, I was like, I'm never going to show this up. We're going to tuck this stuff away. But they're being raised in a family with alcoholism and addiction, no one, people do talk about, but they don't talk about enough how it affects everyone in a 10 mile radius of that, especially the children that grow up in that home, right? But, I mean, we had Thanksgiving, like, driving down to see our family in the South and my

dad's, like, pulled over DIA and arrested out of the car. And, you know, as a child, like, that's a core memory for me. And, like, I'm screaming for the place not to take my dad, and I'm probably like five or six years old. And I remember it clear's day, and I hated cops growing up because I had such a bad relationship with them because the many instances they were called into our home to break up fights, even with my sister, you know, called into our home to deal with my sister. And my sister, I don't want to say she was just as chaotic as my dad, but it did get there. You know, I feel like my dad ruined every moment that could have possibly been a good moment in my life.

Like every now and again, we would drive down to the beach. And I remember, it was so small. And I don't know who let this man rent a jet ski. Going great. Just imagine some Southern drunk guy with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth going crazy on a jet ski. That's like the epitome of my dad, okay? And he pulls up on shore so fast, he much runs me over with a jet ski. Takes me out.

So the guy who owns the company sees it happens, sees him over run over, this little girl on the beach. He didn't even know it was his own daughter. Ribs him off the jet. He starts beating the shit out of my dad. So for me, I'm like, oh, my God, this horrible man beat my dad. You know, like, that's trauma for me. Like, I'm not seen as he was the problem. Yeah.

You know, we go to the lake. He's pissed drunk and they're like, you can't drive your truck. David, that was his name. And he's like, I'm driving. I'm driving. I'm driving. Drive his truck into a ditch. Recks it leaves us all stranded and in trouble.

That is like just a couple, like, pinch stories of my childhood that I grew up with. And that was my normal, I guess we could say. Well, that's the thing for, for, you know, a kid that's that young, that's, that's normal. And you're in your mind at that time. What do I have to compare it to? You see somebody beating up your dad. You're like, why are they beating up my dad? You don't see the, the chaos and crazy that his life choices are causing everybody around. Right. Yeah. I just think. that our life is crazy. I'm not like pinpointing him because I'm young at this point. And to be honest with you, like growing up in Alabama, there are a lot of families that are just like mine.

Yeah. So like I'm not like, wow, why is this family so great? Like honestly, a lot of the families around me were like similar situations as mine. Yeah. So it was normal and I really wasn't judged for it. Yeah. Did addiction run in your family or I guess two questions. One, did it run in your family? and also did something spark your dad becoming an alcoholic? It's a good question. It's a really good question. You know what's funny? Addiction run in my mom's side of the family and she had no addiction issues,

but it didn't run in my dad's side. And we had a neighbor move in about the time I was born. He moved in next door and he was an alcoholic. My dad became his best friend. My dad always drank. He'd been smoking cowboy killers, what we call him with the marble red since he was 15 years old. And he always drank a lot. But he was in like, he was totally functioning.

wasn't an alcoholic and he knew he could put it down. But once he started hanging out with his neighbor, it's so cliche because living in Alabama, but going fishing with him constantly, it was like boom overnight. Wow. Yes. And my dad, you know, growing up,

just like a regular day in our life, he would come home. He worked at a car lot. And my mom was a daycare teacher, so we were very low income, very low income. Like our water power were cut off literally all the time. Like I would even see the man's, the waterman truck come up to the meter and you'd go plug up the bathtub and turn it on.

So you would get water for the day. Sorry, I don't want to get emotional. I honestly don't. I just want to talk about it, you know, until your parents could get it cut back on. So he would come in for work, hands shaken. Every day he would drink a 12 back of Natty Light, which is crazy to me, the concept of drinking 12 beers. Like, that's crazy to me. as an adult, like realizing what that is.

I'm like, how do you even do that? How did you even do that and stay alive for as long as you did? And he would chain smoke the cigarette. So my mom didn't like cigarette smell in our house growing up. So we had a tiny little storage shed with a refrigerator in there. And he would go out there every night and just sit out there all night, drinking, smoking, and listen to country music. And we would have pictures.

He have a cigarette, the ash that long on it hanging out of his hands. Every night, every single night. And that was my normal. Like, I wasn't like, oh, my dad's so crazy. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, oh, daddy's in the store should. You know, and he didn't really have anything to do with us. Did you, was there ever a point where you were like, oh, like, that's like, my dad is an alcoholic.

He's really struggling. Like, that's not good. Or was it just, you never really thought about it. Was it always? That's dad. Yeah. It was always that's dad, but my mom was never one to shelter us from anything going on. because and she like,

she loved my dad so much, but she hated him because he made her, it's all miserable and her miserable. And she was just very vocal on your damn daddy's an alcoholic, and he's ruining her a lot, you know, like, she was very vocal. So eventually that clicked for me. And like my mom was very open, like, this is the fucking problem. And so it's like, why she lived off a daycare salary. So I think she was making about $8 an hour raising.

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is the bar or or is the bar in hell? Yeah. No, not violent. I would say honestly, just being transparent, my dad put my mom through so much. Not that she was like violent towards him, which she was just outright hit him. But I remember one night, again, the biggest fight ever. And he decided to walk through the house with a cigarette. And as I said, that's like huge no-no. Which is funny because in the wintertime, we used a fireplace, a wood fireplace to warm our house. So she would let him smoke cigarettes in the house because she thought the smoke would go up the chimney.

I'm like, mom, the whole house smells like a marble rat. Like, babes, it's not doing what you think it's doing. Like, you think it's not. Good thought. Right, right. And like the carpet in front of our fireplace had like 50 cigarette burn marks because he would also pass out there every night, just passed out.

Oh, that became the new shed. Yes, exactly. In the winter, that was the shed, but he would always let a cigarette burn out on the carpet. Wow. Yeah, so that was normal for me. But my mom just made it so vocal. Like, I realized pretty early on outside of like, you know, six, seven years old,

I started, I feel like catching on like, okay, he's the bad guy here. The police aren't the bad guy that's arresting him. Yeah. Family's not the bad guy. He's the problem. Yeah. And how much older were your brother and sister? My brother's six years older than me.

My sister's two years older than me. So me and my sister were like pretty much the same kind of age. Yeah. And then my brother was a bit older. And to be honest with you, my brother experienced a little more of my dad outside of his alcoholism. So he kind of had a real love for my dad. I think he still does. My dad's past now.

But yeah, I think he still does because he would kind of defend him. Yeah, like a soft spot for him. Exactly. Yeah. That's interesting. I think he saw something that I didn't, but also these things affect kids differently. And sometimes you yearn from the love that you didn't get. For me, I did not yearn for his love.

You know what I mean? I hated him, to be honest with you. Yeah, I was going to ask how have the three of you coped? Has it been similar, different? Completely different. It's so funny because the three of us were raising the exact same chaotic environment, but we all came out 100% different. my sister fell right into the addiction and honestly she from a young age I don't want to put on that she was like my dad because they were just like two completely different people but their habits were the same and their behavior was similar like their bad behavior was similar to be honest with my brother he removed himself from the situation pretty quickly when he graduated high school at 18 and just never came back he was like I'm out okay and I think because I'm

the youngest, I absorbed it all. You know, like, I was like, okay. Yeah. Crazy pants over here. My sister couldn't stand her because she was in so much trouble made our lives even more chaotic. The older she got, like in a junior high school, high school, she was like. Yeah, when did her problems start? Honestly, elementary school. Wow. What would that look like? What would that be at that age? I mean, she would get in big people trouble. I would say that she would get in big people trouble. She had trouble with the law, the police by sixth grade. Wow.

You know, she was riding around drinking at probably 14, 13 years old. I remember she had gotten a pack of my dad's cigarettes because she wanted to smoke at a young age. Gee, I wonder where she got that from. Yeah. And she would smoke them, but my mom would totally beat her ass if we were caught smoking cigarettes at a young age. And I remember she used to run off to the woods and make me come with her and make me smoke the cigarettes too because I couldn't tell on her if I smoked. if I smoked the cigarettes. Oh, funny.

Genius. She's a genius. She's a genius. And that's what's so sad about her trouble because my sister's like the smartest, biggest hustler I've ever met my entire life. I think if she was raised with structure a father figure, a traditional family, we'll get into her a little more. But I don't think she would have ended up where she ended up at all. Yeah. And then me, I was on the outside end.

So I'm absorbing all this. experiencing all of it. You know what I mean? I'm looking at it all and I hated it. I hated it. I hated how my family was. I hated how my childhood. I used the word from like Tony Robbins seminar, but like uncertainty. There was never certainty. It wasn't safe. It wasn't secure. So I think I craed that. Yeah. So you saw what was happening with dad, with sister and your, By the way, did your brother struggle with addiction? Not at all. No.

He doesn't even drink a drop. Completely sober, but because he needed to be sober, not at all. But when he turned 18, he was just like, I'm out of here. Yep. Okay. But you saw then what's going on with your dad, your sister, and you were able to, like, rebel against that and be like, I see what that does to the people I care about. I don't want that for myself. Right.

And I feel like that's rare. Like I feel like most of the time, and maybe I'm wrong about that. And that's why I want to open up and talk about it. But I feel like most of the time you become like the environment you're raised in. And I do. So my mom worked at a day kid that was attached to a tiny Christian school. It's expensive private school to go to. I went to public school, of course.

And my mom had worked there enough years where she earned one free child to go there. And so she was like, I'm going to put you in private school and give you a good chance. And I was like, Mama, I don't want to go to the school. I don't know these people. They're like, honestly, I was like, they're like weird Christian kids. And like, look at my life. Like, I can't be thrown in with these kids. Like, are you crazy?

Like, I'm going to be a demon next to them because they were so sheltered and holy and precious children. Yeah. They were raised with these great traditional parents and got straight age, you know. And I went to public school and those kids were like me. And I fit in there. And she was like, no, you got to go. And I tested to get in. And like, we were so far behind.

in the public school education system. Yeah. That they had to hold me back, a whole grade. And I was so big. It was fifth grade. And I was so pissed. Little did I know. Like, babes, it's fifth grade.

Yeah. You're going to be all right. You're going to be all right. But I ended up going to school there. And I went for a few years, made some really great friends. But, like, as far as, like, the staff in the school, I was completely alienated. Yeah. They knew I went there for free.

They knew I was one of the free kids. There were a couple of us. a couple of us free kids. I knew I was one of the free kids. And one of the biggest problems for them was, like, I didn't go to church there. And we really didn't go to church at all, to be honest with you. I did missionary work. I have a lot of lives I lived.

But from, like, the age of like somewhere in like 12, 13, 14, I became a missionary for a little bit on my own outside of my family. I just started going to church to be a part of something. I would walk to church. Oh, my gosh. I know. So crazy. That's a South for you, though. I'm like, I think I'll be a missionary for a few years and then go back to live in my normal.

life. But I did that for a while. But anyways, at the time ago in that school, I really didn't go to church much. And so every morning they would ask who went to church with attendance and you would have to raise your hand and say if you went to church or not, isn't that weird? Oh, wow. Like as an adult in my age, I'm like, hold on. That is weird. And we wonder why people have, like, religion trauma. Yeah. Yeah. Raise your hand if you went to church or not. And then, like, make you feel shame that you didn't go to church that weekend. That's exactly what it was. And as a kid, I would like sometimes have to lie because I'm like, God damn, it's been like a month.

Then I haven't raised my aunt once I went to church and like the whole class is raising their hand because they all, all their parents are a part of the church, the school. You know, I'm on the outskirts of it. And there were probably two or three of us that was. So sometimes I would just lie and be like, I'm going to hell. But I was like, I'm in church this Sunday. I was there. So that's so funny So that was weird for me

And then by the time I was going in the ninth grade I said my mom won't go back to public school You got to get me out of here Like like that also at that time I may be jumping ahead too far But I had to start working You know and these kids Like babes they were going to start work

Until they graduate But I had to start like providing And working and grow up really fast And my life was so different from those And by the way those kids Because I would hang out with them sometimes and their families were so wonderful and beautiful. That was like the first time around fifth grade,

I would go to their houses and realize, oh, shit, my family, this isn't normal. Right. Yeah. Like, I have a rough family. Right. I would see moms and dads love each other. And, like, the dad would do everything for the daughter.

And I was just like, I'm like, dad's do that? Yeah. You call your dad when there's a problem. I'm like, what is that? I never had a man that you call. ever. Yeah. Wow. So that was like my first, that was my whole point trailing into that. They gave me my first understanding that there is a different life out there. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. It's kind of crazy. And then your, when your sister is 16, yep. She gets pregnant. Yep. And so you're 14, she's 16.

She gets pregnant. Mm-hmm. How long was it after that that, because jumping forward here, your mom ends up leaving your dad? Yep. Was it around that same time? Yep. That's exactly what it was. So, I mean, you guys be like, like I said, like, why wouldn't you just leave this horrible, chaotic man? It was because together they made enough money, but separately there was like no way.

So that's what was holding her in it is I can't survive without the combined. That's exactly right. They couldn't survive without them being combined, and neither of them made great money. But they didn't even really make ends meet, to be honest with you, with them together as it was. Like anything we ever had, like our home, any car, anything was because my grandpa would help out a little. And they would always be like, can you throw us some more money? I know it was so sick of us because my dad was literally terrible. So imagine having this tyrant of a terrible son that you're constantly having to make up for.

And by the way, I'm like, why did you guys have three kids? Like, let's talk about that. Yeah. Like, look at your situation. Look at your income. Like, they lived in a trailer for a while. Like, why are you having three kids? Like, that makes life so hard.

Like, my God. But they're from the South. And they just didn't really think like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Having kids is just what you do. And then you make the best you can out of it. Yeah.

And that's life. But, um, so my sister. came home. I remember I was laying in the bed and she was crying on the phone and we shared a bedroom our whole lives. And she was saying she was pregnant and I was 14, but oh my God, I'm going to shit my stomach out because I was like, what are we going to do? Like truly, like, life had gotten rough, like worse and worse and worse every year. My dad's drinking was worse. More chaotic than ever. And now it was like a baby. Um, his brother gone at that point. Had he had just left.

Gone. So it's just you and your sister left in the house. But now you're like, we're going to add a newborn baby. And my sister 16. She was going into the 10th grade and she had to drop out of high school. And but at that time my mom was like, I made a huge mistake suffering it out and raising three of y'all with him. She was like, we're going to leave.

And I'm going to get a divorce. and we're just going to have to live, like, we're going to have to figure it out. Yeah. And at the day that she worked out, she had a lot of really lady, really beautiful ladies in her life that also didn't have perfect lives. Totally bonded together and helped her with all of that. But I remember, I remember that, oh, so hard to talk about. You're good. Take a deep breath. Yeah, let me take your time.

Take your time. I remember that my mom was like. Like, okay, we were always in coats together. So everything my mom was doing, even though we were young, she tells everything. Like, okay, I think we're going to get an attorney. I think we're going to get out. Like, we were all in it together. We weren't like her children that she was like, she protected us.

But her whole point in leaving was to protect us. But we were always like sisters. You know, we were like in it with my mom. You were a team. Yes. So she was like, we're just not going to tell him because we have to live with him. And at the last minute, when we're going to split, we'll tell him, we'll leave, we'll get out. Great.

The night he walked through the house with a cigarette, oh, my God, he knew it would trigger her so bad. She picks up a perfume bottle, starts spraying the man in the face as he's walking through the house. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's going to kill her. And she's going to kill him. And she's like, I got a fucking lawyer and I'm leaving your ass. And I was like, no. Because I'm like, we still have to live here. That wasn't the plan.

That wasn't the plan. Not what we talked about. I'm like, what are you doing? She ratted us out that night. She was so mad. She was so over him, just so done. And he locked himself in the bedroom and got a gun out. And I was like, I thought I was going to kill this.

But I think my mom thought that too. And that's the hard part of the story. And I don't remember what happened that night. But after my mom passed away, I was cleaning out her house. And I found a police report from that night. But I don't know what happened. Like, I don't know what happened. I don't know if I blocked it out.

I don't know what happened. But everybody stayed alive. So there was that. And, like, we had to live in that. Like, that's crazy. You know what I mean? But shortly after my mom left, we moved into a teeny tiny little apartment. Me and my mom shared a room.

And my sister and her new baby shared a room. And that was like, honestly, I thought, like, was hard before, but I just remember my mom, she thought she could do two jobs and just make it happen, barely make it happen. We can make it happen. I can get a job. My sister can get a job. We can figure it out. Especially if there's only us three girls, you know, four technically we have a newborn baby, but the baby and three women. And we really couldn't. We like barely made it, to be honest with you. Like, I remember one night, our power got cut off in our apartment. And we had like, I hate that I'm crying about this. I really do because like, it hurts. This part hurts. Because I remember

it stuck with me for the rest of my life. But it's like out of all the things I had been through in my life, like this one really stuck with me. Our power had gotten cut off. We have a newborn baby. We need a warm up food with the baby. We can't even do that. And I remember my mom's like, I can call the power company and literally beg them and tell them we have a newborn and like please just give us like a day with power. And like she went in the bedroom and closed the door and I remember just sitting on top of the stairs listening to her beg this power lady to turn the power on. And she was like, no, we cannot do that. And the lady on the phone, I even felt bad for her because she was on speaker and she was like, can you ask your church? Is there a family member like they can

help you? And there was just honestly no one. Like my mom just had to herself and I was like, fuck, the world is tough. Like, I was, I think 15 at this point. And I was like, damn, the world is hard. Like, this is it. Like, that was very eye-opening for me. Like, the world doesn't care, you know, that you have a newborn. If you don't pay your bills, like, you don't get power. And I absorbed that that night. Like, that was a night I'll never forget. And my mom was like, felt like such a fucking failure to leave all that. And has ended up in a similar situation. So my mom picked up a third job.

She would work one daycare from 630 to 2, another daycare from 3 to 4, and a pet store at night from 5 to 9 every single night. So she'd work 6.30 to 9 p.m. And we still had no money. So it's like, damn, the world is tough. It's a tough world, you know? Yeah. So I had to grow up quick.

My sister had to grow up quick. She was a new mom. She dropped out of school. And yeah, life was fucking rough those years. I thought it was going to be the best when we left my dad. By the way, my dad, as soon as my mom left, got fired from his job that he'd been out forever for being drunk on the job. But I do believe that they had kept him on there because they knew he had three kids and a wife. And they knew it's like the style, like they knew that they fired him.

They were like going to destroy our lives. And as soon as my mom left him, they were like, you're out, buddy. Yeah. You know. Makes sense. Yeah. So is your, at this point, your sister has a newborn. The four of you are, you know, living together and trying to make ends meet.

Is your sister at the height of addiction here? What's going on with her at this point in time? I also want to talk about teen pregnancy because it affects people in so many ways that you can't even imagine. my sister, one, kind of always into trouble, always into bad things. I don't want to talk about, like, the specific thing she was doing, like, drugs, because I don't know what all she was taking and doing, but in it, in the muck of it. Yeah. Gets pregnant, obviously, was clean for that section of her life.

And then has Erin, I think she was probably, like, good for, like, a year or so. but her having a kid so young, I think it affected her too in so many ways. And then she went straight off the deep end, really bad off. Probably about the time Aaron was like two years old. Really bad off. She had like kind of in and out of our house. My mom had Aaron a lot. But she was in and out of, you know, our house, like, I don't know, getting into God knows what.

And at this time, I'm like, Mom, I want to go. back to public school. I'll get a job. I'll figure it out. Like, I'll figure everything out for me. And my mom's like, okay, you go back to public school because we couldn't even afford, because you go to private school for free, but you still have to buy uniforms and books. And we, like, my God, that was like the least of our problems. Like, you know, like, Jesus Christ. And this is where I tap into, like, education wasn't important to my family because as you can see, the circumstances was more like, we need money. We need you guys. Yes, exactly. We were raised for survival our whole life. Like we weren't raised to be a star or an entrepreneur or a college grad. Like those things

weren't. Someone asked me in there today, they were like, oh, what's your parents graduate from college from? And I almost busted out laughing just because they don't know me. And like, I'm like, man, if you knew anything, you would never ask me that question. But it was just so funny. Like, oh, where they graduate from? Yeah. I was like, Brown University. No. Like that stuff I can laugh at. You know what I mean? There's so much of it I can laugh at. But us hashing it all. all out definitely hits a soft spot for me or like a trauma spot for me. I don't know. But yeah. So I started going to public school. I didn't care a thing about school at all. I just went to class and I what the thing is though I did I want to graduate high school because my mom never

graduate high school and my sister never graduated high school. My life goal was like man I want to be like the girl in the family that gets a high school diploma, you know, like that was my goal. But at the same time, you know how like high school kids are like, you know, you have a curfew and they teach you how to drive and you study and your parents look at your report card. You can get in trouble for bad grades? None of that for me. It was just like, bigger it out, boo, like mom's working three jobs. Like I have to support myself. I have to come up with money to feed myself and take care of myself at this point because my mom can't do it. She simply cannot do it. She's taking care of a baby herself is too hard. So I honestly partied a lot in high school,

just being so transparent. Like I'm not going to out like an angel. I didn't have parents that really cared. You know what I mean? So like as a kid, you're not going to be like studious. I didn't want their life. Like I didn't want to repeat history and have the same life as them. At the same time, I'm a naive young kid just in the Wild Wild West in their own. And I needed resource. And I remember, so my mom had probably been on her own for two or three years. And God, we struggled so hard those years. Those were the worst years. So she eventually met a man. And it was my stepdad, which I never liked him. I never liked this man. So this is during high school. So I'm probably in 10th grade now. She's met a man. And I'm so happy for her to be honest with you because he was not a rich man at all. But it would be two incomes, which puts us back in a a way better spot. So I was so happy for like, thank God you met someone and she was happy again. This woman was miserable her entire life and she's the sweetest woman in the world, most hardest working woman in the world. Most accepted. You know how parents, like you have to hide stuff

from them so you don't get in trouble? Dude, you can tell my mom anything. No judgment. But again, look at my background with her race. Like, how are you going to judge me? Like, you know. So my mom was the best. I was happy for it, but I didn't like my stepdad. And, I needed resources. So I started living with my boyfriends in high school. So in 10th grade, I lived with a boyfriend. He had a car. I could get to school him back every day.

I could learn how to drive through him. It was resources, you know. Live with him, broke up with him, live with some friends, girlfriends. 11th grade year, new boyfriend lived with him fully. He helped me pay for my cell phone. He taught me how to, this one really taught me how to drive a car. He was the same age as me.

He just had more resources than me. And these people are not rich people. These people just have a little more. And I remember on my 10th grade year, I had failed math, and I had to take summer school. And there was no transportation for me. So I remember the boyfriend had a car, and he would let me take it every morning to get to my summer school class and back. So I was like, this guy is a resource. Like, I can live with this guy.

And I'm an 11th grader, you know? Yeah. That relationship, too, was just like absolutely. horrible. I won't go into the details of what happened in it, but it was horrible and no one should have been in that relationship. And I lived with him and his dad. And then by the 12th grade, we had broken up over the summer of 11th grade year. And I started living with my girlfriends throughout my 12th grade year. I had two friends primarily, Deanna and Andrea. God bless their parents, by the way, whose parents let some random girls. stay over six nights out of the week. You know what I mean? And they totally did. And I stayed with them.

And then I met Tyler at the end of my 11th grade year. There we go. Yeah. And everyone around me and every guy I dated is just, I don't want to shit on them, but they were dumb. They were just like not good. They were patterns of my past life that I didn't want. And I saw that.

Like I was like, but then that's all I had dated. So I was like, damn, is this how every man? is out there like there's such thing as like I just you know that was the concept of a man to me yeah yeah yeah a tyrant yeah a problem yeah um but also a resource and I was kind of raised that way too and then I met Tyler and Tyler's parents were traditional they were smart um his family was smart they were really kind they were loving they were strict but the thing is about Thai and I stayed away from kids like that because I was so different you know that just She didn't work for me.

But the thing about Ty is he was sneaking. He would go out and drink and party with us. So I thought it was the coolest guy ever, but I got to know him. And I was like, oh, my God, he's so smart. This is a smart man. I met a smart man. Like, this is crazy. And he wanted to date me.

And I was like, I don't want to date you. I just date two crazy motherfuckers. And I don't want to date you. I don't want to date anyone. I want to rage. I want to party every single night. And can you mind I'm in 12th grade. Like, I'm supposed to be going home.

home and going to bed. But I was like, I just want to party with my girlfriends and live the best life. And I did that. I did that. I did all of that. And I had the best time, barely graduate at high school. But like as the year went on, we had so many classes together. We like grew together closer and closer and closer. And at the very end of our senior year, I was like, okay, I'm ready to date. Do you want to still date me? And he was like, yes. Oh, my gosh. I know. So he waited for you. He waited for me. And thank God, because he like, saved me and I hate to say a man saved me, but he kind of did because I couldn't have done half of what I've done without them. Yeah. That's very sweet. Yeah. That's a partnership. So special.

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So Ty had moved away to college. Okay. Very smart kid, wanted to get an engineering degree. I don't even know how to do math. I have a funny story. Maybe I shouldn't tell on his podcast, but I take online classes and night school at this time. As I was telling you guys, I couldn't get into college because my GPA was so low graduating high school.

I had a teacher chewed me out, by the way, the night before rehearsal. She was like, Miss Lee. And I was like, good God, your GPA is terrible. I was like, am I going to graduate? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, bitch, I don't even care. I was like, that's all. And she was like, what did you do?

and she wanted more for me. The teacher wanted more for me and she was disappointed. But anyways, and Ty, by the way, it was like 4.0 kid. I'm like, Ty, you can't let me cheat more? Anyways,

he would help me out a lot with my math classes and I remember when it came down to the exam, you have to do it live on webcam. So I was like, you're going to hide in the closet and I'm going to write down the math problem. I'm going to slide it to you.

You're going to do the math problem. You're going to slide it back and I'm going to type it in the computer. There's no way that worked. Do you want to know how it didn't work? He got diarrhea in the closet and started farting so loud uncontrollably and had to get out of the closet to take a poop. He literally couldn't say in the closet and ran out and I had to slam my laptop clothes and failed the exam, failed the class. Then you were screwed.

Yeah, because he got diarrhea. He literally got diarrhea. I know. He literally got diarrhea. My cheating scheme. My cheating. Those is our back. Not where I was going.

No. You got caught. I really think it would work because it started to work. Like it was happening. Like it was working. Like they couldn't see the paper go over and come back. It was working like a charm. And then he got some stomach issues.

He got some stomach issues and blew it for me. Literally. Literally flew it. This, okay, that's horrible to do that. Guys, never cheat in college because you're going to end up having to drop out anyways. If you can't pass the math classes, classes are only going to get harder. And this is like my naiveness. You know what I mean?

And this is my survival skills kicking in. Like any way to make something happen in. vibe. That's how it was raised. Yeah. Um, so that's just a funny side story. That is hysterical. You should give him some tombs to take in there or something. I'm like, dude, you couldn't just fault it out in there for me. You said he diarrhea at the closet. I've literally still died. It's so good. Right. Can you imagine picturing this? Like, what an idiot, first of all. Why would he go along with this plan? He's so smarter than me in that way. I'm like, why would you go along with this? He's supportive. He is so supportive. And okay, so I'm working as a medical assistant. I'm going to

to night school, taking online classes. He's at a big university, probably two hours away, getting an engineering degree. I'm about to fell out of college, to be honest with you. And I'm making $9 an hour as a medical assistant, $9.50, I think. And I'm totally on my own at this point. I have moved out. I moved out shortly after high school with a couple of girlfriends. And we found this like run down house that nothing worked in the house. Okay. No oven. Nothing. No stove. Nothing worked in the house. But I think the rent, I'm not even kidding. you, I think we split like $400. Three girls split $400.

So, I mean, like a girl out of high school, we can afford that, right? Yeah. My girlfriend's got me on at a dermatology office and I trained on the job. So I was up to $9.50 an hour to found a job to make $9.50 an hour, which then supported me. And then I was able to go to night school because I just wanted something more for myself, but I didn't know what. And I wanted to be successful.

And I did want to end up like my family. Like, that was my huge goal of mine. And Ty went to college. So I was like, maybe I should go to college. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea if I could barely graduate high school. I was on the cusp of like not making it throw. Like it was things were looking hairy for me. Diarrhea story happened.

And I was like, I got to figure something else out. Yeah. And then I ran across a couple girls doing a what's in my purse bag on YouTube. And the wheels were turning from then on. The wheels just, I was like, this is it. This is it. A star is born. Wow.

Have you ever seen the movie, Maxine? No. She's like a serial killer, but I relate to her a lot, not in the serial killer ways. Not in the serial killer ways, but she grew up in her rough life and she wanted to be a star. It makes something out of herself and live a different life. And her motto in life was, I will not live a life I do not deserve. And I'm like, dang, Maxine. Like that was my.

And she's like Southern in the movie. It's so good. And so every time I see the movie, I'm like, she is me. I am her. Yeah. But I was like, I'm going to drop out of college and be a YouTube star. And like, this is 2012. I was going to say, to be clear, at this time, that didn't really exist. There wasn't YouTubers. There wasn't influencers. You had this idea that was foreign. Yeah, exactly. And I didn't live in Los Angeles where we're very hot on and like hip with everything.

Like, you know, we're early on everything. I'm in Alabama. Yeah. You know, so people are really looking at me and, like, discouraging me. And like, girl. That's crazy. Like, yeah. I don't know. A lot of people, the number one thing people would tell me is YouTube's going to go way.

That's the number thing. They would all be like, it's going to be, it's an app or it wasn't even an app back then. It's a website. You're going to put all your marbles in this YouTube thing. And then like Myspace or whatever. Yep. It's not going to exist. Just like MySpace went away.

Yeah. They're like, you're like, you put all your marbles in this website that doesn't exist. anymore. And ignorance is bliss because I was like, I think it's going to be there forever. And no one was rich off YouTube. Okay. We're talking like, all these girls I'm watching are like in their one bedroom apartments driving their Honda Accords. And I'm like, that's my goal in life is to support myself and never count on anyone and a man and never be in the trouble that my parents went through. Like, this would cover my bills. And this is a career for me. And like, I loved makeup so much. And I was like, I can be a makeup star. And so I bought a camcorder off eBay, you know, like the ones you would record like a soccer game with, not even like a camera. These bitches today have, you have everything that you are so, everybody's so lucky. I'm like, if I had this back then, it would have changed my life. Like, ugh. But back then I still had a flip phone.

Yeah. And, yeah, I bought a refurbished, a $100 refurbished camcorder. My first YouTube video is still up. Really? And I want people go for it watching and look how horrible it is and just know that that girl has not one thought behind her eyes. But she's a dreamer. She's a dreamer. And I started. I started. I got to watch that video. Yeah, please don't. So you're how old at that time where you're like, I'm going to try this YouTube thing? I think that was between 23 and 24. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And I want it to be a YouTube star. So I had started.

at my YouTube channel. Ty's getting his degree. He's still at college. And I would drive up on the weekend when I was off work and be like, can't help me film this? And, you know, like, can you pause on this degree for a minute? I got a YouTube video. You know your engineering thing.

Yeah. This whole little engineering thing. I have a YouTube video a lot to film. Yeah. So I was obsessed with it, too. Like, I really feel like I had found my calling. Like, I felt like, I don't know, like the world was calling. again. Like I had something to live for. Like, this was it. And I was working at a dermatologist. So every day I'd come in with my videos and God bless my coworkers. I'd be like, this with the whole computer. Like, you see it? Like, are you watching the whole thing? Like, making them all line up and watch it because I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. Like, I'm a star. Like, I did this. So how long had you been doing it before you guys moved out to California?

Two years. I did it for two years. I got it. to 10,000 subscribers in Alabama. That's a star. A star is born. And I told Tyler, I was like, he's about to graduate college at this point as those two years went by. And I was like, I had quit. I was working part-time at my job because I was living off student loan money that was

supposed to buy classes with. But instead, I decided to pay my bills with it. Go part-time. So I could upload five YouTube videos a week. Because, you know, they'll give you some of the loan money. Back then, they don't know how it works now, but they would give you. your full financial aid and then you would go ahead and buy your first semester of classes, but they would give you the second semester of money and you're supposed to be responsible

and go buy your classes when the time come. And I'm like, oh, you gave me a lump sum of money. Cool is an investment for me. I'm going to use it to pay some of my bills and be a YouTuber and drop out and just take the money and run. So I did that, started my channel. Ties graduating college. I was like, this is. sounds crazy, but like, I want to live in Los Angeles and be like one of those big YouTubers out there. Like, that's what I want to do. And it's crazy because you would think at some point, except how smart he is, he would put

some logic into this and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's pump the brakes. Let's think about this. He just wasn't. He believed me. I don't know what I told this man. He's a fool. I mean, I guess he's not hindsight, but it's really crazy to believe me. So he took a job out of college at Frito Lay.

We were going to move to Macon, Georgia. and we went to look at the area. And I was like, I literally told this man, I said, I can't be a star here. I can't be a YouTube star here. I was like, this city will not, he's like, you can drive to Atlanta. I was like, nothing's happening for influencers in Atlanta.

I was like to live in L.A. And he was like, well, there was this job with Amazon. I was like, Amazon. And he was like, yeah, they offered me like a little interview. Because industrial engineering degree, like you can eat. easily get a job. It's sought after. So you get like college fair job fairs. You'll get a lot of offers out of college with that. And I he's like, but I had to fly to Illinois for the job interview. Like it's a huge deal and there's no tell him where we'll end up. And I was like, but there's a

chance we can end up in California. And he was like, yeah, you can end up anywhere in the United States and even in Europe. So I said, you're going to tell Frito Lay to fuck off. You're going to tell him you're going back to school. I don't care. He's like, I already accepted the job. I'm like, uh-uh, we're not taking that. And you're going to go do that Amazon interview. And so I remember we went to the Montgomery Airport, teeny teeny tiny airport. All flights canceled was going to miss the interview. Atlanta's two and a half hours away. It was the biggest storm ever. It rains a ton in Alabama. And so they had grounded all the flights. And I said, get in the car. I said, I'm going to drive you over 100 miles an hour. You're not missing the

interview. Like, you're not. And I got my red Honda cord. And down the freeway. We call them the interstate there. Going 110 and one of the biggest storms passing 18-wheelers and everything. Tyler, I've never flown on a plane before. Neither had I. I'd never even been to an airport before.

Never even drove through an airport before. And I got them to the airport when they were closed in the door. They let them on the plane because Amazon booked him a first class ticket. So they were like, your seat still open. And they put them on the plane and got the job. And they said there's, pick your top three places. want to live and I said Riverside, Marino Valley and there was a Bay Area, California, California, California. Okay.

Yeah. And we got Riverside. Okay. And we loaded up a U-Haul with all my thrift store furniture and junk. There was literal trash. Strap my Honda on the back and hit the road. What did your, at this point, what did your mom think about this? Was there any?

I love this question. Yeah. Like, you're like, I'm going to. move to California. And the goal is to, you know, be a star. Be a star. Do you know the craziest thing? And this gives so much context

to who my mom was. She was like, hit the fucking road and never come back here again. Oh, wow. She was like, you're a star. And I just cry because she's gone now. So it makes me sad talking about her. But she was the coolest mom in the world.

She would just would hide me. You know, most parents would be like, you know, you got to be careful. I had never even been to Los Angeles. I flew out here on my last dollars that I'd save forever to go to a beauty convention in Pasadena for like for 48 hours and went back to Alabama. But I'd never even been in Los Angeles before and I was like ready to move there. Never been to Riverside. Never been even been to the West Coast really.

Yeah. And my mom was like, get in the car and never come back here. Yeah. Go. Because she wanted me to have like such a different life than her. And it's like so cool. My mom was like, no parent would do that. I don't think.

I think most parents would be like, you know, we got to look out for you. We got to make sure you're staying at school and you're going to have a great life. My mom was like, I can just tell you're a star. Isn't I not? And a lot of parents would want you close. Yeah. Okay. They would put their own, you know, I don't want to say selfishness, but, you know, them wanting you close ahead of

what they think is actually best for you. But it sounds like your mom is the definition of she was able to see what her life looked like and knew if you stayed in that environment, you may turn out the same way. Hit the nail on the head. Literally, you hit the nail on the head. You know, as tough as that may have been for her, she just truly wanted what was best for you. And at that time, like, I was like a steadiness in their life because I had a consistent income and I had a car and like I had like on my own apartment and like like like I was like kind of a help for them you know for my mom to be like get out of here she'd seen enough to believe that you can do it

yeah and I don't know why because I hadn't proved anything I didn't really I guess I proved that I could survive on my own my mom had also never even been on a plane before you know or I mean we didn't go anywhere growing up I mean there was I know and I hear these stories of families going to Disneyland stuff growing up. And I'm like, what do you mean? Florida with your drunk dad fighting everyone? I'm like, wow. But I'm really happy I didn't experience those things because I'm going to promise you, none of the amazing best parts of my life would have happened if my childhood wasn't like that. And I do believe that. It made me who I am. Yeah. It's so cool. You're able to like have that respect. Oh, yeah. I know for a fact, if I had a loving father that helped me with stuff and all,

I would just have like a traditional Southern life. I would have married a man, had a bunch of kids. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that life. It's not the life I wanted. I wanted so much more and I never would have got that without my chaotic childhood and like how I was brought up. Yeah. And I feel like it gave you the resources to be resourceful, to be scrappy, to like work hard and like really launch this YouTube career for you. And I never would have made it honestly, because it took so much hustling and working and networking and like being street smart, if you want to call it, to get to where I got. And I never would have got there with like traditional, amazing supportive

parents. I really wouldn't have. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you and Ty make the move to Riverside for him to work at his Amazon job and for you to go after this dream of yours. Yep. How, how, how, how, When did things change? After you make the move, when do you go from the 10,000 subscribers? That's awesome in Montgomery. That's awesome in Montgomery. To being one of the biggest YouTubers on the planet. Well, you know, I believe in manifestation, but back then I never even heard the word before. And I did everything that you do to manifest something, put into actions, thoughts, visualization, like everything you do, I was doing. I was working. Also, when I moved out here, again, I was humbled because remember, I think I'm like so big online. I come out here and everybody's got millions of followers.

I'm like, oh, God, I only got 10,000 followers. We're not going to make it. So he's working full time. We have a tiny one-bedroom apartment in Riverside, California. By the way, I thought Riverside was paradise because of where I came from. Absolutely. And people with shit on it in Los Angeles. And I'm like, I love Riverside.

What are you guys talking about? Leave Riverside alone. It's so nice. There, they have a movie theater and malls and have a restaurant. and everything is so cool. I love Riverside. Still do. I.E. people, what's up? Shout out Riverside. Shout out to Riverside. Those are my people. But I quickly was like, damn, like, I'm going to have to halt because like no matter what bates, I just moved across the country and left everything. We are making this happen. So I immediately went to hustle mode. I got a job

at Dick Sporting Goods because, like, I wasn't making money still like offline to help pay bills. So I'd work at Dick Sporting Goods part time out here. And then I would film like five YouTube videos a week. So every single day of the week I'm uploading. And then I'm driving to L.A. on my days off because there'd be like a little event or something to mingle with other creators. And keep in mind, I thought Riverside was really close to L.A. I didn't know what traffic was like. It turns out it's like a hard two hours out, like a hard two hours. Like I'm doing this multiple times a week and I've never even driven in a big city before. So I'm like hitting in Atlanta. But to me, none of those things scared me or matter because my eye is on the goal. You

know what I mean? I'll do whatever it takes. So I'm driving out to L.A. and I was very, like, I didn't have guidance. I think a lot of people's parents guide them. Like, you start doing YouTube. They, like, guide them on what to do, say how to be, like, don't get yourself in trouble. You know, don't share too much. Don't tell your personal stuff. I didn't have any of that. So, like, I came online, guns blazing, and I would tell you anything, everything. I was the most raw version of myself at all times. I genuinely think that's why I blew up online because huge personality, really smart about the content I was creating and I was very analytical with YouTube and I knew how their system work. I knew how their titles worked. I knew how their thumbnails and text. Like, I had broken it

down to science. So I knew how to get the clicks. But you don't build an audience off that. You build an audience off who you are. And I was so raw back then. You can ask me anything. I'd be like, oh, yeah. And just tell you. you like because I didn't have anyone to guide me like, hey, you might not want to share that with millions of people. You know? You were like, no filter. No filter. This is me.

Love me or hate me. 100%. That was me online. Just Alabama girl in the Wild Wild West having the time of her life, right? And it blew me up within two years, you know, tired work for six years on this engineering degree. And I was like, we, we've made so much money, like your paycheck compared to what I'm making online. was nothing. Like he would make in two weeks

what I would make off one brand deal. So it was just like senseless for him to be working. And I need help because things are blown up for me. And so he quit his job. We moved to Los Angeles. And I have officially made it. I'm a huge YouTuber, huge in the beauty community. Okay?

The beauty community is just kind of blowing up and we're developing this quote unquote beauty community online. And I'm a huge face of it. You know what I mean? You think of 2016 makeup. There's me and Jacqueline Hill and Manny Muea. Stamped right there, you know. Iconic even.

Truly. Truly. And this is where things start to pivot and downfall. This is where I land myself in a lot of drama shortly after probably had like one good year of being a star that I always want it to be. And it honestly blew up in my face. Well, let's dive into it. As people caught on to how big beauty was growing so fast, the drama in it grew just as fast. But real part about this industry is as quickly as you get things, you also can have that rug pulled from underneath you.

And I had no concept of that. I always crave certainty in a steady life. So when the rug got ripped out from underneath me was the one thing it gave me right back in that childhood spot that I had done everything. thing to escape from. That was a horrible mistake for me. And my response made it even worse and that I too have myself to blame for 100%. If you could go back to that moment, respond differently. What would you have done? Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.