The Squeeze - Laura Lee: You Are Worthy Pt. 2

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

The Lautners welcome back YouTube star Laura Lee for part two of her exclusive episode! If you missed part one, Laura opened up for the first time about growing up with an alcoholic father, navigating life in severe poverty, and how those early challenges fueled her drive to create a better life. In this week’s part two, Laura Lee reflects on her rise to YouTube fame and the challenges of navigating a public controversy that turned the internet against her. She opens up about the deeply personal journey of adopting her niece, Eryn, sharing the reasons behind her decision and the grueling court battle it entailed. Laura also bravely discusses how her sister’s time in prison became a turning point, the profound pain of losing her mother to Covid without the chance to say goodbye, and the ongoing process of grieving that loss. Wrapping up, she offers insights into where her career stands today, what she’s most proud of, and heartfelt advice for anyone growing up in households shaped by addiction.Check out part 1 of Laura’s episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ebSMUWjFggBe sure to follow Laura on Instagram https://instagram.com/larlarlee/ and on YouTube https://youtube.com/@laura88lee, as well as her podcast https://youtube.com/@foolcoveragepodcast!To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram:The Squeeze:  https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/Tay Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylautner/Taylor Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/& TikTok:  https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow  https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop for person this season at saks.comVisit repurpose.com and use code SQUEEZE25 at checkout for 25% off your entire order. Visit DrinkCulturePop.com and use code SQUEEZE at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Get JackBlack.com/SQUEEZE and use code SQUEEZE for 10% off your order.Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com/THESQUEEZE. Start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18+ to your subscription today.Get 25% off + free shipping on Roots Focus at drinkroots.com with code SQUEEZE. Visit drinkroots.com for details.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Auto-hue with Sunny Cars feels as if the children Not me's Beasel stramble Sandvorda Actisvercere Verdwine Vacantia can chaotic

But who'sorgalose An auto-hurt Says No No Stress No own-vervict Novelte costs Always Follettive So foothoher sonder

Sonderger Go to your Reisadviceor Orsoniccars. The following podcast is A Dear Media Production You are in my opinion the definition of resilience and having a dream in going for it.

There's a lot of people out there who have a dream but are afraid to go for it or just don't think that life is possible for them. What would you say to that person? Through all of it is my worthiness. Like I struggle believing I am worthy of this and even when I got something imposter syndrome coming, you are worthy of everything that this world is. good has to offer you no matter what you've done, where you've come from, what your background looks like. You deserve the world wherever you're at listening. Dream as big as you can possibly do. I'm really big into manifestation and dreaming. Write down the biggest things that you could

ever imagine that seem too good for you, too big for you, too special. You write them down and believe that you are worthy of it because you are worthy of everything. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. Okay, lemon drops, welcome back to The Squeeze for a very special part two episode with the lovely Miss Laura Lee. Oh, yeah. If you missed last week's episode, highly recommend you go back and watch it before listening to this one. Yeah. Because we've covered a lot already. We've really got to know where Laura comes from. She's got quite the story, and it's going to make this second part that just more unbelievable. So go watch it if you haven't.

But where we left off is you made the big move from Alabama to Los Angeles. In the first two years that you're here in L.A., your YouTube career takes off in like that that dream that you had, living in small town Alabama has actually come true. Yep. You are just crushing it. Ty quits his job, his great job, because yours is going that well to help support you in that dream. What did life look like for you then in the L.A., in the L.A., influencer

world. What were you thrown into? The influencer world was a little newer back then and it was hot shit. I'm going to say it. We were all cool. We were all making a lot of money

very quickly. Yeah. We were overnight, all of us, normal people, every one of us and we were all superstars and had tons of attention,

tons of eyes on us. had a hard time going to restaurants going out because we were so relevant in the world of internet fame. New amazing apartment. My brother needed a car, so I gave him my Honda, had it shipped back to Alabama, bought a brand new Porsche,

living the drink, paying my mom's bills, giving her money, supporting my family, wanted to start a makeup line, all the friends in the world, because I'm super cool. So, of course,

people naturally want to be friends with you and you are relevant and you have a lot of followers online. So I'm like, wow, it's so cool. All these people want to be my friend. You know, I wonder why. I must be that great, you know, really thought that. And that's kind of what my day to day, like a brand trip every week, one week Fiji, one week Morocco, one week private island, you know. Wow. We were a hot commodity because we were, us beauty gurus, I'll speak for the beauty gurus, we, we could do numbers in business. And brands saw that a commercial on TV or buying an ad in a magazine or putting money on a sponsored post on Instagram, didn't move the needle an inch compared to one sponsor with one of

us. And the crazy thing is, is though I never saw my audience as a bank. You know what I mean? Like, I remember my manager, she wouldn't get mad at me or anything. She understood where I was coming from. but I was like, I only want to do one sponsorship a month on my YouTube channel, just one. Because back then, like, if I do too many, I don't want to sell out to my audience. Like, these people, like, brought me to where I'm at.

Like, we got to do, like, one sponsor a month. I was making a ton of money through Morphy. You guys heard of Morphy before? Yeah. Talk about it once or twice on this podcast. Okay. I was in the Morphy bed, too. I was in the Morphy cahoots.

I had my discount code. made a ton of money on my own with that. So really didn't even need the sponsorships. Made a ton of money off my viewership because YouTube pays you for your views. So the income was flowing. The travel was amazing. I mean, you had to remember I never even got on a plane until I was 24 years old. And now I've traveled the world in the last two years, you know? It's so crazy. I don't mean to cut you off here. But it is so this would be like overnight success. Correct. Like for anyone. 100%.

But from where you came from to within two years, you're buying a Porsche. You're paying off mom's bills. You're giving brother a car. You're in Fiji, Morocco. Like from where you came from, two years ago, this is insane. Insane. I used to lay my bed and cry at night because I was sad. I was so fucking happy.

I was the happiest ever. Like, I did it. And I did it too. It wasn't some rich man that gave it to me. Like, I did it. And I'm a star. Like, I did it. You know what I mean?

Like, I was the happiest ever. And I'm going to say this. As people caught on to how big beauty was growing so fast, the drama in it grew just as fast, meaning like every five minutes, you know, I noticed things. started to take a turn. You know, every five minutes, my best friend, Mani would be talked about negatively. Jacqueline Hill would be talked about negatively. God knows I was right in that ring,

too, and it could be over nothing, you know what I mean? Just because your views and your relevancy so high, it happens today. I mean, in the media, like the popular people get talked about, you know what I mean? Making up stories. So there's like little tip for tat dramas all the time. As amazing as it is, you know, how quickly things happened for you. And just the skyrocket of success, the crazy and unfortunate but real part about this industry is as quickly as you get things and things seem on the rise, you also can have that rug pulled from underneath you. And I had no concept of that really whatsoever. Yeah.

Like, that wasn't like, I mean, I definitely, you know, the longer I'd been on the line and the little tip for tat dramas taught me, like you have to be careful online. but because of the lack of guidance online, I really didn't understand that, you know? Yeah. And to be honest with you, me earning this career for myself and making this money fulfilled a huge pot in my subconscious, which was certainty.

I learned this through a lot of self-work, a lot of life coaching and self-development. I always crave certainty in a steady life. And this type of money and career guaranteed that for me in the way that it was going. So when the rug got ripped out from underneath me was the one thing, it gave me uncertainty and it put me, like, mentally and everything, you know, right back in that childhood spot that I had done everything to escape from.

Yeah. And that, too, was overnight. So I got myself into big drama. I retweeted some horrible inappropriate tweets long, long ago, many, many years ago. And it sucks because when something like that comes out, your audience and people don't view it as something you did years. Oh, God, that was so old. And, you know, people, my God, grow and change and they're young.

They don't view it like that. They view it more so as you just did it because they're just finding out about it, you know? So I don't blame them. Right. But, you know, that was a blip for me. That was a horrible mistake for me. Just, you know, doing that. And how I handled it was worse.

And I. And I do want to jump into that some. When it's that, you know, resurfaced, what did life look like for you at that moment? Because I can imagine those were dark days and you were feeling lonely and not sure how to, you know, respond to this. Yeah. Before we get to your response, how did you, how did you react to that drama? It was honestly so big and so much to take in for one human being. I don't even think our brain chemistry is meant to, because we have social media and computers and digital and like everything can come at you.

I mean, this isn't all face-to-face, so so much more can come at you. and I felt like I was literally on fire. I was losing so much so quickly. I had also created a makeup brand and that was almost on fire more than me for whatever reason. My makeup brand people wanted to take down. So it went through the fire too, which was something I had built. So it came me on fire.

And at that time, what people didn't know is that I was in the middle of a court battle to adopt my niece, Aaron, from my sister who had gone. herself so bad off on drugs. Like she was truly the worst I had ever seen her. I never seen her this bad off. She, my God, I mean, just horrible. And my niece had all Fs in school. She was filling everything. She barely went to school. My mom had her full time, but my mom, you know, she's older at this point. And my mom didn't raise us with like an importance and those things. And I'm like, damn, Aaron's going through kind of the exact same childhood that I did and I see it happening. So I'm like, this is nuts, but like, I have to take this child. Like, I have to take

a child. And this is going on. What was unfortunate, it went on like the exact same time as my cancellation or like the drama online. That went on at the exact same time. So I'm on fire online and people want to response. You know, they're like, how could you do this? Like, speak on it. Apologize. Say your peace. And when millions and millions of people are coming at you, at some point, someone had gotten my mom's phone number and was threatening to kill her.

I was worried for my family's safety at this point. I am worried about a court case I have coming up because people are writing articles about me. and articles are so terrible, then my fear was that, you know, the courts could easily access this. Because, I mean, you just look my name up and they can easily see this.

And, like, how am I deemed fit to take a child? And I'm scared that because of the drama I've created for myself and that I've gotten myself into is going to literally blow the chances of me rescuing a child and, like, that I can never forget myself for. And I will only have myself to blame. for all of that. And my response made it even worse

and that I too have myself to blame for 100%. Yeah. I am only the one to blame for that. But it's, I should have waited to respond it, but the heat coming at you, you know,

and you feel like I'm losing everything so quickly. So like I do need to say something. Yeah. But my mental space, it was gone. I was on fire. You know, like, and all this happened within a couple of days. Yeah. So my response was horrible. And at that point, I said, I'm going to lose my niece. I'm going to lose rescuing this child. I've got to stop. I'm going to stop this career. I'm going to go offline. And people are like, oh, you should take that video down. I deleted every single social media app off of my phone because I was done. I was completely done. And I was going to figure out something else.

Also, I had made a lot of money. I was going to lose a lot of that money because of a lot of different reasons in the cancellation. But I literally was raised to be a survivor. Let's go back to that. So, like, I know I'm going to be, like, I'm going to be okay, me. But I was like, I have to let go of this career. Being an influencer is done for me. Like, that was my mindset.

I'm in the heat of it. I'm going offline. I'm done with social media. I've deleted everything. had Pinterest on my phone. It was the only app. It was safe there. No one talked anything about me on Pinterest. If I saw something about me on Pinterest, I was going to lose it. I was like, even you Pinterest. It was safe on Pinterest. And I was focused. I spent that time focusing because when you're trying to take a child from another state, your court case, lawyer, attorney, everything has to be in

that state. And Alabama is literally across the country. And, Right before I got canceled, my niece had spent the whole summer with me because she wasn't in school so I could just take her without the custody of her. I took her and I tried to, I'll be so honest and transparent, I tried to manipulate my sister into signing her over to me so I could avoid all this. I could take her. I could give her a better life. I could give her the structure and the life and what I needed. I could give that to her. and my sister was so bad off on drugs,

like the conversations with her, they didn't even make sense, and I hated my sister for the person she had become in like a nuisance. You know what I mean? Like, if you've ever dealt with someone on really hard drugs, it's really hard to deal with.

So I hated her. I did. I had such a bad relationship with her, but I would fake my relationship with her, and I would fake talking to her on the phone, like I loved her. And that's terrible for me to do, but I wanted to manipulate her into giving her

giving my daughter up to me. She caught on to me so quick. My sister, even on her worst day, she's extremely smart. And she's like, I know exactly what you're trying to do. You're trying to take my daughter from me and I'm not going to let that happen.

And I was like, oh, so she like, she was like, no, you're not. She was like, you're absolutely not. And I'm like, why not? You don't have anything to do with her. But really the problem is, I would move her across the country and my sister wouldn't get to see her ever again.

And said that with my sisters, why not? It's selfish, but you'd remember someone's not in the right mind. She's not in her right mind. She's on hard drugs at this point. She's living in, I don't know what you would call it. I don't want to use the phrase a crack house, but like she's living in that. Okay. She's dumpster diving for things to sell for crack.

She's like, I mean, that is her life. Yeah. And she caught on to me and she was like, I'm absolutely. not going to let that happen. And we had 50 blow-up fights screaming at each other on the phone. I hate you. I hate you. You know, all of that.

And my mom wanted me to have Aaron. My mom was on my side 100%. Okay. So like when your sister is you know, literally out just on drugs, not present at all, where is her daughter,

your niece, Aaron? Where, who is watching her? Like, what what does her relationship like what does their relationship actually look like? My niece is at my mom with my mom my mom. My mom is getting older

at this point and does not have the abilities to really raise a kid that's 13, 12, 13, 14 years old. Yeah. Also, the school thing was kind of big for me because my mom kind of didn't make her go to school at all

and she had an F in every class and that part just comes from my mom's upbringing and how we were raised too, so I don't blame her for it. But at the same time, my mom knew things had to be better. So my mom was like, you got to take her.

Yeah. And so that is when I started to develop my court case. And then I went through a huge drama online during the midst of that, terrified more than anything. And more than anything ready to shut down the career at the sake of all for Aaron to get my niece. I wanted to get my niece. Yeah.

And I knew how volatile, how this career had turned out to be, blame myself for a lot of it. And I knew it was going to blow my chances of getting money. So went offline for a long time. What a lot of people don't know is I actually, because I was going to be done with the social media career, I had started improv. And I would go to improv classes every day because I was offline for three months. And it was like this new family of people who didn't know who I was.

They didn't know who I was. It was just like random people. And I got really deep into it at groundlings. And we just take improv class all the time. I remember my 30th birthday. I was offline, turned 30, and I was in an improv class and celebrated my 30th birthday with strangers that just filled me with love when everybody hated me. Yeah. That's really special.

Yeah, that was just like a cool little blip that happened, you know. But anyways, it's weird how the industry works. Because at this time, I'm still offline. We're kissing almost three months of me being offline. And there's a lot of drama channels. A lot of drama channels are bigger than our channels as it is. And it's kind of like the conversation started to change on me. And no, they weren't saying anything positive about me.

But they were just kind of like, where is she? Like, why does she go away for so long? Like, what happened there? Like, is she ever going to come back? Where is Laura Lee? That kind of blew up into a big conversation. And what happened then, you know, I still have this huge audience, which I don't think I have anymore. I do. I still have this huge audience. And they start emailing me and like contacting me. I'm sure my

DMs and all were blown up. I just didn't have the apps on my phone. But what I saw was my email. And it got to the point we could not even use my email anymore because we were getting thousands of messages every day. People begging me to come back online. And at this point, I've had three months to absorb what's happened, absorbed where I went wrong, absorbed how horrible my response was to it, take that in, acknowledge it. I guess I kind of felt like, look how far I came. Like, look at all that I went through to get this. And my mom was like, listen, you can come back here and start over and like get out of that life.

But she was like, damn, like all that we've been through, like you're going to. like be tough like get your ass back out there and take that beating and just do it and so I was like by the way I can't remember I came back online right before my court date um and so I had come back back made a very short video admitting where I've gone wrong admitting you know addressing it and then I jumped back in and I took my beatings you know because obviously I wasn't very loved and a lot of people didn't want to see me online even though there were a lot of people that did and I just I think I upload like four videos that week and just like paledro through it right through it. And yeah, I lost more. I took my beatings. People talked about me nonstop and I just like I was like, I'm just going to keep going. I'm just going to keep going. But this time I was like, I'm going to do it different because I had absorbed and learned so much. I was like, I'm going to do it different. I'm not going to share anything anymore.

I'm not going to talk about my life. I'm not going to share any of my friendships, whether it's social media people or not. Me and Mani were best friends. He got in drama at the same time as me. And we both agreed because we stayed best friends through it, which is really cool. We both agree.

We're like, how about we never show each other online together again? And he was like, bingo. He was like, great idea. We can be best friends forever, but we'll just pretend we don't even know each other online. Because I was like, I don't think people want to see us together anymore because a lot of our drama was like intertwined. Hindsight, we have a podcast together. People have to listen to us.

Yeah, we're on forever. That's so sweet. Yeah. I feel like you guys, like that era, were really just the guinea pigs of like everything. Of, you know, of blowing up, being internet famous, like, really like pioneering what that looked like. pioneering the freaking cancellation process and like going through like all the good and the bad. Yeah, truly. And it's so like crazy to look at, you know, things that happened then and, you know, some of those same things happen now. And it's like, well, that's what I was just going to say is these

things I feel like happen all the time now. Yeah. Yeah. But because that was the beginning of it, It felt like it was under a microscope so much worse. Yeah. You know? Well, I mean, it was all that there was. Like, I feel like that birthed, like, internet trolls. And, like, I think a lot of people thought the beauty community was like this lovely thing, this beautiful thing. And it ended up like, the beauty community.

It should. It absolutely scares me. Love the beauty community. I'm still scared of it. Yeah. But it's just, it's like, it's a beast of it. And it really just was awakened during that time period for you guys. So, like, you know, you guys like figuring out, like, how to go about things and really, like, not having, like, someone to go off of is just crazy to me.

Yeah, we were one of the first, um, we, I think we, me and Manny were, like, the first big cancellation and big drama in the beauty community. Like, the first, like, big one. I think we were, like, the pioneers of that, not primarily. proud of that at all, just so we're clear. I don't say that proudly. And, like, everybody, like, it's happened so many times. I think every week it's something now. Yeah. And, like, it's like, everybody knows the song and dance and what to do with it.

Back then, I was like, all right, it's over. That's a wrap for me. You know what I mean? I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know when to respond. I didn't know what to do. Yeah. So as soon as I was on fire and a million people are like, what do you have to be?

to say, I pick up a camera and blow the whole thing. Make it 10 times worse. Right. This episode is brought to you by sacks.com. Sacks.com is making it easy for me to find the perfect gifts for even the pickiest people on my list. Sacks.com's holiday gift guide includes gifts for her, gifts for him, stocking stuffers, beauty gifts, and gifts for kids. Their website, the way I have it laid out is really just so easy.

easy to shop. I get so overwhelmed by websites that are just cluttered, aren't organized, but the way Sacks.com has organized, their holiday gift guide has made it perfect. I love their stocking stuffers category. Some little standout pieces that I loved is Tom Ford's gloss, two-piece moisturizing lip gloss, and also David Yerman box chain bracelet. Another amazing gift to give that I absolutely love receiving is Advent calendars. And Sacks has a two-piece. 25-day advent calendar that has 25 pieces, full size and travel size of their best-selling beauty and fragrance products. This is valued at $1,200 for a price of $295. They have so many gifts you can choose from. And honestly, even for myself, I'm not buying myself gifts, but I feel

like Taylor's always like, what do you want? What do you want? And I just say I truly have no idea. So it's really easy to not only scroll for other people, but also to get ideas for yourself and see what you actually are wanting this holiday season. If you're looking for gifts that will help you win the holidays, then head to sacks.com for inspiring ways to shop for everyone on your list. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard to shop person this season at sacks.com. This holiday season, whether you're hosting or you want to skip the dishes, let's keep it stylish and sustainable. Ditch those boring paper plates and plastic cups and replace it with repurpose. Repurpose offers plant-based compostable tableware,

like their chic stemless cups that help you celebrate without harmful waste or forever chemicals. Better for you and better for the planet. From compostable plates to their sleek, ultimate, entertaining stemless cups, repurpose makes eco-friendly swaps easy and fun for modern host. All of the products are certified to compostable and made it without forever chemicals, ensuring that they're safe for you, your friends, and your family, and most importantly, the plant. Whether it's Friendsgiving, a holiday dinner, or a weekday lunches, repurpose products,

are practical, beautiful, plant-based, and ego-friendly. Taylor and I love hosting dinners, parties, everything. We love having our friends over to our house. And having a company like Repurpose just truly has been a game changer because I don't want to do the dishes every time we have a party. And I also don't want to be wasteful and just constantly buying paper plates that aren't good for our planet. So having repurpose has truly just been a game changer for how we host. Celebrate sustainability this holiday season. Visit repurpose.com and use code squeeze 25 at checkout for 25% off your entire order.

That's repurpose, R-E-P-U-R-P-U-R-P-O-S-E dot com with code squeeze 25. And you can also find at Ralph's Kroger, Whole Foods, and Albertsons. This year, replace it with repurpose and post with joy for you and the planet. If you guys have been following me, you know that I live for an afternoon. I'm always looking for just a little something. to take the edge off. That's not alcohol. Don't worry. But just a little something to get me through the rest of the day. And I feel like I have found my new afternoon graze. Really, I have it at all

times of the day, but really when the afternoon 2. 3 p.m. lull hits and it's culture pop soda. Culture pop soda is like the perfect mixture between a seltzer and a soda. It's full flavor, complex, and refreshing. It's delicious refreshing with the perfect amount of sweetness. Culture Pop is sweetened with only fruit juice and made with only organic fruit juice and organic spices. They don't use any sweeteners, no added sugar, no cevia, no aspartame. Culture Pop is a delicious soda made with real, simple ingredients.

Organic fruit juice, herbs, spices, and live probiotics. Which means that it is also good for your gut, which we love because as scurly's gut, some tummy problems, and we love anything we can get to help our gut out. Culture Pop is sold nationally at over 10,000 stores, including Whole Foods, Walmart, and more. You can visit DrinkCulturePop.com and use code squeeze at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Again, that's code squeeze at DrinkCulturepop.com for 20% off your first order. You guys need to try CulturePop if you haven't had it before. It is delicious. They have so many flavors. Can't wait to hear which one you liked the most.

Let me ask you a question. If you could go back to that moment where you feel like you're on fire and you're drowning and people want an answer from you. If you could go back to that moment and respond differently, what would you have done? I would have absorbed all of it. I probably wouldn't have deleted the apps on my phone. I would have taken in my mistakes. I would have taken in where I went wrong. And I would have waited. Unfortunately, that's not what people want. It's the height of the moment and they want that response.

Right. And then I wouldn't have given it. I would have taken the time to understand what I am saying and what I did and what's happening to me. I would have understood it. I would have absorbed it. And I would have taken back when I was ready, taken full accountability for everything. apologized and kind of what I did the second round when I came back, I explained how I'm going to do better and that this is the last time you will see me in

drama. And by the way, it was. It was the last. That was it. There was like a million little dramas, a big drama, and that was it for me. Because I was like, I'm going to do this differently now. But I would have answered it in a mature way and said, how truly sorry I really am and how like I own this. And I do think there's like a really beautiful

thing and mistakes. By the way, my icons are Monica Lewinsky, Pamela Anderson and Martha Stewart. Because we all got the road bumps, right? We all got those speed bumps in our in our story. And like where they're at today, like they're my heroes. Because I feel like I relate to them a little bit. Yeah. But there's a beauty in making mistakes because I feel you can take accountability for them, but there's so much you can learn and grow from them. You don't learn and grow on your best day of life. I didn't learn and grow while I was on a private jet going to an island.

I didn't learn and grow making millions of dollars. I learned and grew from my huge mistakes, you know? And they changed my life forever. And the best way, they changed my life in the best way. because coming out of that and, you know, bulldozing my way through online and take, also when you take that level of heat, it makes you a different beast of a person. Like, people are like, I'm so scared to get canceled. I'm so scared to mess up. I'm scared to have that career.

I'm like, oh, well, the worst has already happened for me, so I'm not scared at all. But it really makes you a different beast of a person because one, it's like, damn, at one point in my life, the whole world was coming out of me. And, like, I'm still alive. Like, I live through it. Yeah. You know, like, that's a miracle in itself. And, like, I can look back at that and be like, damn, like, you have to be tough to go through that. And now, not that I'm bulletproof, I'm still human and always will be, but the degree of what I went through, even though it was my fault, comments just don't bother me anymore.

Let me say it that way. It's really hard to upset me with comments online because, you know, I've seen the worst of it. Yeah. The noise is a lot, a lot, a lot quieter. Yeah. So the second round of my, so in my head, I'd taken so much time off, best decision I ever made, absorbed it all, came back, I'm bulldozing through the drama. But I also was like, I'm never going to tell anything ever again. Friendships are going to be private. And this are the things that made me who I was on. This is the reason people loved me. This is the reason people followed me.

And I was like, I'm just going to be a machine and I'm going to ease my way out of beauty because I saw how volatile beauty was. And it was like the next year it was another person in beauty getting canceled. The next year was another person in beauty. Like it was like every year they were hungry for it, you know? And like people are always going to make mistakes. You're going to have plenty to catch people up for always. But I saw the direction that was going and I was like, I'm going to be a lifestyle. I'm going to transition into a lifestyle.

And I had my niece at this time. And I hadn't told people like, why my niece live with me. You know, there's a lot of speculation. And I had someone on my team was like, hey, you should talk about that. And that was huge for me because I was like, I will never be that stupid again to just be like this wild open person that share, share, share, share, share, shares. Yeah. And they're like, no, this is big. And they're like, I think a lot of people go through families and with custody with kids.

I think a lot of people deal with, you know, drug abuse and all of this. And like, people just knew why she was living with you. Like, that would give them so much context on you and what's going on in your world. So made the one video explaining that. And I never regretted it. It was the best decision ever to tell my audience who have been loyal to me. I mean, my audience is built different. Okay.

As I always say, I'm like, my audience is different. They're not just like your regular old. Oh, I like that girl. They've been through it with me. You know what I mean? Best day. worst days. So they are like, die hard. And like, I do owe that to them. Because they've showed up for me on my worst days. That's so special. Yeah. I was wondering when throughout the whole like court case and

Aaron coming out here, did she want to come out here? Like, what was her perspective on leaving her mom and moving in with her aunt? She wanted to come out here. And I wanted to say a really cool thing that the courts does. I don't know if they, you know, they do this. They take the child, the judge, takes the child to a back room and interviews them so the child can out anything. So if they're like, I don't really want to live with this person or this person's lying, they can go in a private room and they have time to tell the judge anything, which I thought that was really cool that they did. I was happy to see that. I was like, well, thank God. And then in my court case, I had one custody of Aaron, praise God, all the drama, everything,

I got my niece after this huge battle. Um, my sister ends up getting herself in a lot more trouble, which I didn't even know what was going to happen. And she ends up going to prison for five years. Wow. Um, and I would have had to take my niece anyways. You know what I mean? And I didn't know that was going to happen. Yeah. So it's crazy. It's crazy how like the universe knew and it all worked out. You know what I mean? And I had my niece here and I will say whenever I got her here. She was in bad shape mentally. She was not in a good. She had a lot of, like, quirks where, like, she couldn't let her feet show or she had a mental breakdown or she couldn't speak to, like, you know, to order food or, like, speak to an adult.

Like, or she would just, like, lose her mind. One time I asked her to go refill my drink at Chip Flores. I was like, oh, do they counter give me a refill? She was, like, freaking out. And I'm like, what is wrong with you? I was like, I was raised with animals and you can't get a refill of a drink. Drink a Chick-fil-A. Like, what is going on?

Girl, we've got to toughen up a little bit. Like, we've got to show the toes. We got to talk to adults. You're 14 years old. And because I wasn't raised with like, oh, you have anxiety. You might have a little depression or there might be some mental health scares going on. I wasn't raised that way. It took some time learning like, oh, shit.

Like, Aaron's got a lot going on. And that's why these things bother her. So I immediately got her into therapy. But what's cool is like, I grew up in a very chaotic environment and so did she. So like when we talk about it, she's not talking to it with a person who came from a perfect family. I'm like, girl, tell me about it. You know, it's the sky blue. Yeah.

And it's so funny. So she has an absent father. And she used to be so, that used to be like a huge thing for her. Like, why did my father not love me enough to be there for me? And I would look at her and be like, have you ever? had an absent father that lived with you and tormented you every day, but was absent as well? I was like, baby, be glad he's absent because it can be much worse. And she's 20 now and she was going, I was going through the gigs with someone.

And she looked, and they had completely cut me off. Don't talk to me anymore. And that upset me. And she looks at me and goes, be glad they're absent, bitch. Because she was like, you told me the same thing. She was like, because it could be much worse. they could still be driving you crazy every day and coming at you. And they decided to cut you off.

So she was like, be grateful. And my perspective did 316. I was like, I'm so proud of you, Aaron. Like, I'm so proud of you. Oh, my gosh. But I put her into therapy and it changed her life because I was like, baby, we can cry about this and talk about it until the dogs come home. But like, I don't have tools, you know.

And I feel like you need a therapist because there's a lot to unpack with her, you know. Good for you. Yeah. You hit the nail on the head with that one. people say, like, you know, I can talk with someone, like, you know, even like Taylor and I, I feel like are, we're so close with each other. And I feel like I could share things with him. But at the same time, like, if he's going to open up to me about something, I don't have those resources or know what to say and what to ask to help him, you know, solve the problem

where he figure out why things are happening this way or why he might be feeling this way. Yeah. How to guide you. And that's why therapy is so important. They, our listeners are probably sick of me saying that. For you to be able to see that in that moment and be like, oh, I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to cry with you. I'm going to like, you know, listen to you. But to be able to say in that moment, I don't have the tools to piece you back to, you know, put you back together piece by piece. Yeah. We need something else here. I just commend you for. Kudos to you for that. That probably like, you know, not to be Germanic here, but that probably saved her life. It did. 100%.

I think what made me realize in it is because we spent so much time talking about all the time. And she never wasn't, she never felt better about it. And she was always still hurting and so upset. And I was like, yeah, like, I see you're going to, I am not going to be able to fix this, but you can. Like, you are strong enough. You can, Aaron, like, you're not responsible for who you, where you came from and things you went through as a child.

And I say that for myself, but you are responsible for yourself and how you come out of that. Like, as an adult, you can't blame other people. Like, you have to work on yourself and put the work in. So therapy changed her life completely. Huge for her. So amazing. Yeah. And I will say with therapy, I want to say this, like the first couple of therapists didn't do it for. And people don't talk about that. Yes. You know what I mean? It takes work and it takes finding the right person that you vibe with. It's a relationship. Yes. Yeah. It's, and, you know, it's so easy to to get discouraged when you get one bad apple. Yeah.

And like, you know, like those first few sessions, you're like opening up, sharing your trauma, sharing your story. And that's like, oh, wait, I actually don't buy it but this person. And then it's discouraging. Sorry, not a bad apple, just one that, an apple that you don't connect with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a green apple instead of a red apple and you like red apples. Like, it's just, that's what it is. And that's, I feel like having, it's hard, you know, having to do that multiple times. I'm not saying it's easy. But. Yeah. It is. Not to have people get discouraged.

It is to start over and be like, here we go again. Let me tell another person. Yeah. Yeah. It's so hard. When he first started therapy, I feel like you were like, I don't like, like having to like start to say. It's the worst part.

It's like where do I start? God, right. It's like I got to bring you up to speed. Am I going to like you? 30 years of my life. And you've already done it with someone else. That sounds exhausting. It is.

It is. And you know what? It actually kind of happened to me. I started with a therapist when I got out of my drama because I was like honestly so still like mentally and well from unpacking. unpacking like that level of honestly hate online like it like it warps your mental brain I'm telling you it's crazy but I went to a therapist and I was like this person is just like doesn't even know what online is like how is it's it's going to work and it just didn't work and I found a younger

life coach she was a life coach and she was a life coach and she was huge for me and then I found myself in the world of self development like heavy in the world of self development going Tony Robbins seminars, walking on hot coals, joining Colts, all of that. Change my life forever. Change my life forever. I guess. Wow. I did want to ask, when Aaron moved out here, what was, I guess, for both you and her,

what were your relationships with your sister and her mom? Like, was no one talking to each other, were you guys still? Because I know she went to prison, so like she would have had to come out here anyway. Right. So there was a small window. My sister was still out and about me and my niece. None of us are even speaking to her. Tyler actually went and got her, put her on her plane in January 2019,

and we got her and brought her right out here. And like it was cold cut off from my sister. And of course I talked to my mom every single day. And shortly after that, she got herself in some pretty major trouble and ended up going to prison. And so she had a court case, you know, as prison works, whenever you get, I don't know if it's called charged with something, but whenever you have your pending court case for your sentencing, it was funny. My sister got sober really quick because she knew she showed up in court and was still on drugs and still tested positive and still looked like she was on drugs. It was going to not be good

for her. So she was like, let me clean it up real quick before my court case. She did. So I would talk to her a little bit here and there right before a court case. She had, her judge was one of the hardest judges in Montgomery. She's like called, I can't remember, like Mary Max or Max because she always gave the Max Sentencing. Like she always just slammed them with the Max. And that's what she did in my sister. She was like, I'm clean now.

She's like, nope, Max sentence. So my sister got five years. And I want to talk about her journey just a little bit because it's so big. Like I'm, I can't believe saying this, but like I'm so proud of my sister. Because the drugs she was on, it's like. nearly impossible for people to get off of that. And people would always say, you know, prison, we need more reform in our prison for people because they're human beings. You know, we don't need to toss them away, especially people to just make mistakes, you know.

And there's a program called Ardap that in the prison. She went to the same prison that Martha Stewart went to. Iconic. Well, there's a program within that prison called Ardap, and it's specifically for people who are basically in there. for drugs and we're on drugs and addiction. Okay. And it is a tough program. It's like boot camp for the girls.

It's tough, tough. You break one rule. You're out. But the plus side of it is if you're able to get through it and you're able to graduate art app, you can get time off your sentence. So there's also a big, you know, like, what do you call it, to want to join it? Incentive. Yeah.

Yeah. There's incentive to want to join it. This is probably a stupid question. No, I have to. You don't have to go through this program. It's a choice to. Yep. Okay.

100% of choice. My sister's sober in prison and she joins the program. And it's crazy because like if one person does something that's against the rules in ARDAB, you have to stand up on stage and call them out and tell on them. And in prison, that's not easy to do in that life. I mean, it is a tough thing to go through. And she went through the full program. I had pictures of her.

She would send me with her. And all the girls, I'm like, you guys look like you're at camp right now. But she graduated and she did get out early. But what sucked during the time of her being in prison, my mom passed away. She got COVID. And in two and a half weeks, she was gone, which is crazy. It's just crazy because it's so rare. I mean, I guess it's not rare because we lost so many people to COVID.

But actually experiencing that is different. You know, my mom was like, the light of my mom. life and the light of my niece's life and my sister's favorite person in the whole world and having to call my sister on the prison phone and everyday update or like I think we're going to lose mom. And what was so hard for my sister, one, to go through that in prison. That's tough because she didn't know when she went away that that was the last time she would ever see my mom.

But like she said that, you know, when you're in there, you're around people. so much. You're never alone. You're never, ever alone. And they have like bongs. And there's like four people for a little room. And so she's like going through something like losing your mom. You never get one moment, not one moment to yourself to just cry because there's always people there. And like you're screaming crying. So of course people are going to be like, are you okay? Like try to be there for you. And you just want to be alone. You just want to be left alone. And so yeah, I felt so bad for her during that. I really did. Yeah. Tough. Tough stuff. Can't imagine. Yeah. Yeah. That breaks my heart.

Yeah. The holiday season is upon us and I just absolutely love giving people gifts. And one of my go-toes is Jack Block. They never fail to have gifts sets that are really just great for anyone I'm buying for and I stock up for the guy's favorite skincare products too for all of the men in my life. This podcast is sponsored by Jack Black. Jack Black offers a full line of men's products for every need from cleansing to moisturizing to beard care.

So your man has skincare that always makes him look and feel good. And just in time for the holidays, Jack Black's gifting sets are available. So the guy in your life can be well groomed for the holidays. I just absolutely love their gift sets. They have so many gift sets. Lemon drops, it's actually unreal and it is perfect to get your husband, boyfriend, partner, whoever they need to try them out. One of the favorite sets that I love is the triple play and includes a facial cleanser, SPF, and body and hair cleanser. But the way they design these gift sets,

they're all so cute. You can almost like hang them on the tree. You guys truly need to check them out. this holiday season, if you want simple, effective products that your significant other will love. You need Jack Black. Head to get Jackblack.com slash squeeze and use code squeeze for 10% off your order. Once again, that's get Jackblack.com back slash squeeze for 10% off and make sure you use my promo code squeeze so they know that we sent you. Truly, if you're looking for a gift for your man, you guys need to check it out. Do you ever find yourself scrolling through the vitamin and supplement aisles at your local grocery store or maybe browsing the internet and just being overwhelmed by so many options, so many different companies of vitamins and supplements?

And if you're like me, I feel like I can get a little bit skeptical about which one actually is good for you, especially because I just learned this, that women were excluded from clinical research policy by federal law until 19. 93 is when they were finally added. And women belong in scientific research. They're essential. And ritual knows that. I have been a fan of ritual for years, years, years and getting to talk about them on this podcast, truly has been awesome. If you haven't heard of ritual or they're essential for women 18 and older, this is a high quality and traceable key ingredients in a clean bioavailable forms. There's nine key nutrients and two delayed release capsules per day that optimize your body's absorption. It's gentle on the stomach with a minty essence in every bottle that helps making taking your multis actually enjoyable. And if you're like me, I do not like taking

pills. So I love ritual because it has that minty essence. It takes my mind off of taking pills and makes me actually want to take them every day. So no more shady business. Ritual's essential for women 18 and older is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash squeeze, start ritual or add essential for women 18 and older to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash squeeze for 25% off. You know the saying, when life gives you lemons, we talk about it here on the squeeze. And today I want to share something with you that has been a game changer in my routine, especially on those days where I have a very long to-do list and need to stay sharp. And you guys know how strongly I feel about my to-do list. I absolutely live

by them. But I want to introduce you to Roots Focus, the plant-based vegan-friendly powder designed to enhance mental clarity and support cognitive function, allowing you to maintain sharp focus throughout the day. It has a subtle 56 milligrams of caffeine and a two-gram dose of synergistic four mushroom blend per serving delivering smooth, long-lasting energy without the jittery, or crashes. You guys know how sensitive I am to caffeine. I've gone completely off coffee. I've gone decaf, half-calf, all of the, all of the caffeine I've done. So I'm very sensitive to drinks that make me feel jittery or any just skin-crawling thing. Roots Focus has not done that for me. And I would absolutely recommend it because it also comes in four delicious flavors,

fruit punch, spicy pineapple, blackberry, lavender, lemonade, and strawberry watermelon. Anything lavender is my absolute favorite. So that Blackberry lavender lemonade has had my name written all over it. If you're looking for that extra mental edge, here is a deal for you. Get 25% off roots focus on Amazon with code squeeze. That's squeeze for 25% off on Amazon. Or you can visit drinkroots.com for more details. Trust me, you will love the smooth focus that this brings.

And I cannot wait for you guys to try. What was just to touch on quickly since you brought it up? What was losing your mom like for you, you personally? What was your grief journey? It was because it was so shocking. Like we didn't know. Like I hugged my mom at the airport. She went back to Alabama.

She got COVID. My brother calls me one day and he goes. mom seems really sick. Should I take her to hospital? I was like, put her in the car right now. Take her to the hospital. This is serious. Takes her to the hospital.

And the whole time, I'm like, my mom for sure is going to be okay. For sure. I don't know why. I just, I never thought about losing my mom before, you know, never really let that sink in

that one day I'll be here without her. Like, I never let that sink in. So it was just like a, a blip and they were like, you know, it's over. Like, it's done. She's not going to make it. And I remember, I flew back to Alabama immediately. And I wasn't there during that time because if you remember, the hospitals didn't allow people in. You couldn't go in. So what would I have been doing there, you know? And I had my niece out here. My sister was in prison. So I was in California. And as soon as they told me that I got on a plane and I just went there. And I hate it going there. But I just went there.

And the hospital literally snuck me in to look at my mom through the window with her literally last breath just so I could just see her one more time. And they were not supposed to do that. She was like in the ICU and COVID was happening. You know, she literally has active COVID and people are dying and they did that for me. It was a small southern hospital. Mind you so they could get away with stuff like that. And like the last time I saw my mom was like, dying in the hospital bed through the glass.

I couldn't even touch her one more time, you know? And that, you think that cancellation's hard, but it was like cake compared to losing my mom. I would be canceled every day of the week and go through that rather than losing my mom. I remember the feeling of it settling in that I'm really never going to hear a voice or see her ever again or hug or touch her. or that's like a pill I still don't think I fully have swallowed and it's been three years, you know, like, because losing a core person in your life, like one of the core people. And like, if my mom was like 85 and had lived out her days and it was old age and it was time, I think I could absorb it a little bit better because I think at that point you start

and think about life without your parent. But I just had it. So I was so unprepared for that. Like so unprepared. So I think everybody handles grief differently. I think I was kind of angry for a little bit because I was like, fuck. Like life has been so hard growing up and like I made it out. And then it got so hard again.

It was so hard with my niece. And now you're going to make it hard again. Like give me a break. Like let off the gas. God. And I still, like, I can't even, I can never talk about my mom without crying. There are a few moments I can laugh about, she was the funniest person in a world, it's fully where I get my personality.

Yes, I just call myself funny. She was like the funniest, like she was a star. This woman, she didn't live the life. She did she would have been a star. She was such a star. So I can talk about, like, that about her, you know. But like, anything else about her love or anything, it's still like, oh, I just have so much to unpack there. Like, I haven't fully grieved it. I grieve it every day, every Sunday,

or on the weekend, I go to the beach and I go running, which is like a mental health thing for me. And I just cry the whole time every weekend. I just run when tears run it down my face. And I know people are at the beach like, damn, what is she going through? I'm like, sorry, my mom died three years ago. And like, I'll listen to her favorite songs. And I don't know. I just, it's like so hard for me to say like what's grieving her like because everybody does it differently. And if there's a wrong way to do it, I've definitely done it the wrong way for sure. I don't know if there's a right way to do it. Yeah.

It hurts so bad. It just hurts so bad. And I have people write me all the time because I did, I had to tell people, you know, my mom's gone. Yeah. And then it's so sad because people will write me because they'll lose someone in their core, like their mom. their father, someone they love so much. And they're like, I'm in so much pain, Laura, what do I do? And I'm like, God, I know, but I don't know what to tell you what to do is the problem. Like, there's no answer. And I will say, like, as your life goes on, it goes on without that person.

You have no choice. And, like, time does heal everything to an extent. But, like, the loss of my mom was like, it just seems like the wound that will never close, you know. Yeah. So I don't know. I just don't know the answers. I definitely, I try to grieve it and like feel it, though, because I feel like that's what I should do. Feel it. Let it hurt, you know? It hurts. Yeah. I think that's so important to do to feel things because so often than not, we're like, no, like, I'm fine. Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to get through it. Like, let's just push it aside, push it down. Not think about it. But that only just makes the situation so much worse. builds. It's like a big bubble. You know what I mean? So I think one day I won't have to cry about as much though. I really do. I think there's a day there because I'm way better today than I was three years ago when it happened. You know, so that gives me a little hindsight. I'm like,

okay, well, maybe in like six years, like I'll be even better. You know what I mean? From it. I think it was just like the abruptness of it. And the lack of preparation of losing your mom that like hit me like a freight train. I thought drama online was bad. I mean, It's just like the perspective when you lose someone like that. You're just like, whoa, that was nothing. Like, this is everything. My world, you know. And I feel like with how much you do feel it just almost shines a light on how special a person your mom was and truly just like your love for her and her support for you and just how amazing she was.

I feel like just further proves that. Yeah. And, I mean, I've thought this entire conversation and last week's conversation, but, like, her light lives so much through you. Even when she was alive, I see so many similarities. You didn't just get, like, the funny side of your mom. You got your mom's heart, and you can see that. from way back when your mom wanted the best for you when she saw what life you would have been living if you stayed in Alabama.

Yeah. And she was like, get out of here. Yeah. She put you above her and she was like, you can do this. You can live a better life. Go do it. You literally, you did that same thing with Aaron. You became your mom.

Yeah. And you were like, mom did it for me, I'm going to pass it down and I'm not going to let the same thing happen to Aaron what would have happened to me. So it's just amazing to see how much you, you know, learned from your mom, took this beautiful light from your mom and implemented it into your life and has, you know, saved Aaron's life and now, you know, cut to, which we, you know, can wrap up with, but your sister, I mean, her life was saved. Even today, moving forward, your mom's light is still shining through you.

And it's such a beautiful thing. That's so nice if you just say, and I appreciate you bringing that up because I think everything that I do and like my mom, every time I even get nervous doing something or something bigger and opportunity or everything I do, I literally do it because my mom would have been like, come on, you're a fucking badass. Like, get out there and do it. And, like, I'm like, mom, you don't even get to see half this shit. I've done.

I've done so much more after you died. Like, I'm like, damn, if only you saw this, mom, like, you would be fucking screaming for me right now. So I feel like, not that I live for my past mother, but, like, it definitely lights a fire of me because I know she, biggest fan, always rooting for me, no matter what it took from her. and I want to make her proud. I want to make her proud of me.

She was proud of me. She'd be proud of me if I was the biggest loser on this earth. My mom would put me up on a pedestal and been the most proud of me ever because that's just how she was. She was like the pit of me of love. So, again, losing that makes it really hard when you have someone that special and amazing in your life. But yeah, I really appreciate you saying that because like it runs through me. Now, her gone. Also, it, like, brought attention to our mortality, like how fragile we are as humans.

You think young. You think you live forever. And life's actually really, really short. It really is. It goes by really fast. Yeah. You know, and it really brought that perspective when I lost my mom and she was 62 years old, you know? Yeah.

For sure. I've lost both my parents. By the time I was, I think it was 32 years old, I'd lost both my parents. Like, that doesn't wake someone up to go, damn, life is short, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Having that perspective now and moving forward with life, career, are you happy with where you're at? Do you have goals to get to new places? How are you feeling with that now? This is the best part of the conversation. Finally, we get to some really good stuff at the very end of the second podcast. I'm like, by the way, guys, I'm great. Everything's actually great. You've been through it, but you're good. I've been through the gigs, but hey, I'm doing amazing. I feel like, now and probably like the past four years, I have lived my dream. I have finally in my dream career that I've always wanted. I'm in the dream life that I've always wanted. I upload. I have the best, most amazing supporters and people that follow me. They support me every single day.

My writer dies. I have the most incredible community surrounding me. I started a new business minimal L.A. It's thriving. I'm in zero drama ever. No one cares to shit talk me. And it's just blissful. And I stay in my little bubble and I'm smart now. I'm really smart. Unlike before. And I know how to do things and navigate things. And I understand how this industry works. And when people love you and when they're using you, like I get it all. And like the goggles are off. And my life is like clear. And every day I wake up and it's like a dream. I'm living a dream. Like bitch me. I have a beautiful home. I'm healthy. I have beautiful cats and husbands. Spend that loves me and still supports me after all of this. God bless them. Let's talk about him. Like he didn't know he was getting into any of this. He was like, brother, I was just trying to be an engineer, this crazy girl. My niece is healthy. She's happy. She's 20. She's my best friend. I love her. She's like this spiritual, like hippie girl who you would think she'd be like a cool, like my hands of a YouTuber like I'm cool drunk elephant, cool outfits. She's just like this like

whimsical like flowing through life like happy she looks like a total hippie like she's just like the coolest person in the world i wish i was as cool as her but i was a try hard and she's not she's the opposite of a tryhard she didn't give a shit about any you know cool person or whatever like she's the bomb and like she's good my sister's sober let's go my sister got out of prison my sister got out of prison she was on probation for a long time and like she's good my sister's got out of prison she was on probation for a long time and she's remarried to someone, as I was telling you guys earlier, that she actually met through the jail system because you go to jail for a little bit before you go to prison before they figure out where they're going to place you. Which my sister said, that's the hardest part because jail is basically a holding cell for like six months,

and that's a living hell. And there's like people in and out of there so you don't like make friends and build a family there. She's in jail and she saw this guy that she liked through the window, men's gel, women's jail. Why is there even a window? I don't know. Seasons in the window.

He cleans the lunch trays every day. And a girl, she was like, I think he's cute. I like him. I'm like, such a smart decision, Ashley. Yes. You're literally going to prison. And she's like, I like this guy. And she's like, you can get him a note.

Put it on lunch tray and we'll get it to him. You can get it to him. So, of course, she did it. He got the note. You know, they communicated a little and then they both went to their separate prisons. The guy did, she did split, right? Different prisons, different states, everything. So they both left Alabama.

Then after they got out of prison at the same time, both moved back to Alabama, and they were both on probation and basically fell in love. And they're both sober and have been. They both completely got off probation. You should have seen my sister with an ankle monitor because they put her on an anchor monitor for a long time. And she thought it was the funniest thing in the world. She took pictures of it all the time and try to hide it. It was just so funny.

She's very comical about all this stuff and very heartache. She was raised like me where, like, Like, it's just not that big of a deal. You know what I mean? Like, this isn't a big deal. And, yeah, the guy has, her husband, he has a really amazing job, which my sister finessed for him. And then my sister's a dog groomer, and she makes a killing. She's the biggest hustler.

When she's sober, she's smarter than me and a harder hustler than me. So she is powerful. I'm like, damn, mom, like, what do you do to us? Like, she is. And they just bought a new house. living, and they've only been out for, I don't even know how long now, maybe like two or three years and like, they're living the dream. Living the dream.

Killing it, both of them. Wow. This story is insane. They need to make a movie out of my sister's life, not mine. Her is a way way more interesting if you heard her stories on this podcast. Your story is pretty interesting. I'm telling you, my sister makes my story like a walk in the park. Wow.

Let me ask you something. what are you most proud of yourself for? That's a really good question. Let me think about that for I spat out an answer. Every day I do think about how proud I am in my resilience. I'm really proud because I look at the life I was born in and I look at the other people that were also born in similar lives and not to compare where I'm at today because we're both successful

in our own ways, but it's a fucking miracle that I have what I have and that I got to where I got and I'm at where I'm at. It is a, it is a miracle. None of this should have happened. Like, people don't get out like that, you know. And I'm so proud of myself for being so naive and just gunning for it and going for every step of the way and taking every beating along the way and just kept going. And that's resilience. You know what I mean? And I'm so proud of, my niece taking my niece. That's huge. At the time, by the way, when I was doing it, I did not feel like a hero. I was a villain. And a lot of people had a lot to say about that in Alabama. You know what I mean? Because I'm moving her across the country. And it didn't feel good. And then I'm battling my sister. I'm battling the court. So I don't feel like a hero doing it. As a matter of fact, it's something I'm doing behind the scenes because I don't want people to know about it. But now that it's done and I look back, I'm like, holy shit, I took a kid.

Like I took someone's kin raised it. So now I get to look at it like that. I'm really proud of myself for that and my husband for being on my side in it. So it's just a journey. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Last question. We'll see.

You are like, in my opinion, the definition of resilience and having a dream and going for it. I know there's a lot of people out there who come from similar situations and have a dream but are afraid to go for it or just don't think that that life is possible for them. What would you say to that person? Well, one of the things I think I struggled with through all of it is my worthiness. Like I struggled believing I am worthy of this. And when I got something imposter syndrome coming because I'd believe I wasn't actually worthy. He-h-hi-hi. I got the joke on them.

They made this loser cool. You know what I mean? Like, you are worthy of everything that this world, good, has to offer you no matter what you've done, where you've come from, what your background looks like. You deserve the world wherever you're at listening. Shoot for the moon. You will land them on the stars, which is much better than the world. the moon in my opinion. Dream as big as you can possibly do. I'm really big into manifestation

and dreaming. You're supposed to write down, you know, all the things you want to do and accomplish as so many people dim them down because they're like, okay, well, that's not realistic. Let me write down the realistic things. Write down the biggest things that you could ever imagine that seemed too good for you, too big for you, too special. You write them down and believe that you are worthy of it because you are worthy of everything. I love that. I'm emotional. It's true.

It's just, it's just, it's so cool to like get to learn. Like, we were just at lunch the other day and like, you know, obviously I know a little bit about your background and you are such a lovely person and I feel so safe and comfortable. And like, I know that you are genuinely like want to be my friend and you are just a loving human and hearing this whole story and what you've been. and where you've come from and how how everything has happened. It's just I don't like have words. It's you're just such an inspiration no matter what background someone may come from. Hearing your story like I'm like I'm so inspired to like dream more and to work harder. But look at where I'm at today. That's so great to talk about. And I am so desperate for people that are in my situation, I've been through my situation, hear me, see me, and go, I can do that,

I can do that. And that crazy girl right there can do it. God knows I can do it. Look at me as inspiration and go for it, go for it, all do all the things, get into trouble, get out of trouble, make mistakes, learn from them, grow. Do everything. Do everything all the time. That's my advice. Just go for it. Yep. That was so good. Thank you for for trusting us with this, obviously, I know that wasn't easy for you to talk about, but we're just so honored that you felt safe enough to open up. And I think your story- Gave you guys to me. Oh my gosh.

I do. I did. Your story is just going to help so many people. And it's, you know, I feel like when you're saying it, it feels like you're the only person that's going through it. And like, you're like, I don't want people to think I'm weird. Like, I went through this. They were going to judge me. But it's so, there's a part of your story that's related.

to everyone. And I'm just so proud of the woman that you are. And I'm excited to be your friend more and get to learn more about you. And just thank you, honestly. Yeah. Same thing. But yeah, just like your heart is so big. You can't deny it. And, you know, a part of your journey is a part of each one of ours, which is we all make mistakes. And, and, you know, a part of your journey is a part of each one of ours. And, you know, a part of your journey is a part of each one of each one of ours. And, And that just, that comes with life, but it doesn't define you. Yeah. But what does define you is your heart and how much you care for others. And it just, it shines through and shows in everything you do in life. So thank you for sharing your heart with us. And the listeners, I'm really honored.

I'm honored to be here. Thank you guys. This was amazing. We love you. I love you guys. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.