The Squeeze - Loren Gray: Crunchy Peanut Butter

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

In this week’s episode, the Lautners sit down with Loren Gray to discuss her journey from starting on Musical.ly to becoming a social media sensation! Loren opens up about the challenges she faced growing up in the spotlight at such a young age, including dealing with bullying and handling constant comparisons in the public eye. She shares insights on navigating friendships while building her social media presence, the strategies she has found most helpful in caring for her mental health, and clears up some of the biggest misconceptions about her. Finally, Loren gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the filming process for her new Netflix movie, "Incoming"!Be sure to find Loren on Instagram https://instagram.com/loren/ and check out her new movie “Incoming” on Netflix https://netflix.com/title/81715819To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram:The Squeeze: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/Tay Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylautner/Taylor Lautner: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/& TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit lemonsbytay.comSponsors:Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com/THESQUEEZE.Use code SQUEEZE at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account. 1 time use only. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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without your Reis-Adviseur or Sunny Cars. The following podcast is a dear media production. I was bullied in school. I was in like fifth grade. I was really, really ugly.

I had no eyebrows and no eyelashes and I was just really ugly. And no one wanted to be my friend and like honestly respect because, yeah, I look at those pictures and I'm embarrassed. I'm dead. And I'm still and I'm 22. I honestly feel like the people like a bully are the most successful. The most successful, the most fun, like the best personalities. It's formative, but it's not going to matter.

Because in that moment you think it's like end all be all. Like in person bullying. Do you feel like that affected you the same way? like the internet bullying. I just moved to LA when I was like 15, 16. It was such a culture shop. People looked different, different priorities. I was like gaining weight and people were commenting about that.

And then I'm also in L.A. and surrounded by that, like being perfect. You have to sort of separate the two. You just kind of have to protect yourself at some point. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. Lauren, welcome to the squeeze. Thank you.

This is so far. fun because I feel like I've actually like watched you on the internet for so long. Who hasn't? Like, no, really, though. Yeah? Really. So this is fun. Like, I just, it's.

That also makes me a little nervous because I feel like I'm never actually thinking about who's watching me on the internet. Right. Like, it kind of. I made it in a good way. Yeah. No, yeah. Of course.

Thank you so much. Still, I'm like, oh, you're watching? Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I think you have a couple people watching you know, one or two. It's a little spooky. It's scary when you think. about it. Just a few. But I was doing my like prep for this episode. I figured out that you both have something in common. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. You've both been in Taylor Swift music videos. Oh, yes.

Like the best thing to have in common. Yeah. Literally. That'll be the, that'll be the highlight of our careers for the rest of time. Forever. Forever. Oh my gosh. Um, yeah. Yeah, you mentioned it to me. Yeah. You were in the, the man. The man. Yeah. Yeah, that was really fun. Um, okay. So, so we start each episode off with this jar called, and the game is called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there, cute, and answer a question. Let's see. You really make that noise quite often. You know, once you hit your 30s, you start saying, ugh, a little more. I just did like ASMR the other day for something for the movie. And they were like, you did so good. I've never done like ASMR. I actually, like, hearing your voice in these headphones. You have a voice for.

I feel like that would be really nice. Oh, hey, thank you. It would suck if you were like, gosh, shut up. If you could choose your own name, what would it be? That's a good one. Interesting. Okay. Do we all answer?

Because I kind of want to know what your answers are too. Yeah. Do you know? Honestly, no, because like my name is a family name. So I feel bad being like, yeah, that's great, but I would have gone with. You know? I don't know. Because my first name is my, my first name is my grandfather's middle name, but just like rearranged a little bit. And then my middle name, which is gray, is my great grandmother's first name. And then my last name is Beach. Wow. Yeah. But. Wait. So, so your, because, wait, okay. Your grandfather's name was Lauren. His middle name was Lauren with L-O-R-N-E. Yeah. Got it. So they just rearranged it. a little bit to make it my name. Because my grandfather's name is Lauren spelled your way.

Yeah, I think my spelling is like the, I've heard it's like the masculine spelling of the name. I didn't even know that was the thing. But I guess it was, it's never on a keychain, I'll tell you that. So. Yeah. That's funny. You miss out on those. Yeah.

That's funny. I know. I love that spelling. I don't know what my, do I look like something? We've played this game before. I know. That's what I was trying to remember. I don't know.

I don't have anything like I love my name and I wouldn't change it. But when I was a kid, when I was like kid, I literally asked my parents all the time, can you change my name to Max? I just love the name Max. I thought it was so cool. That's such like a like a kid boy thing. I was like five, six. Yeah, Max just sounded fun. Wait, that's a fun fact.

I didn't know that. There was a girl in my grade name, Skylar. And I used to love her name. So like I loved it. She was so mean to me. but I loved her name. I loved her name. So mean, but great name.

I feel like you could be a Skyler. For sure. You think? It gives, like, blonde, blue eye, pretty girl. I feel like all of those, like, they kind of have like an oomph to him, like Skyler. Yeah.

Ashley, Britney. It's always like, you know? That's like the five. Oh my gosh. But you could do like a, I feel like anything that ended in like an A also. Ooh. Okay.

Like those like like sort of long A names where you're always like, Like, as a Lauren, I always really admired girls with really, like, feminine pretty names. Like, there's this one girl, and her name is Delilah Bell on Instagram. And I'm like, Delilah Bell. That's cute. I can, you know, like, you can put little bows in your hair and be like cute. I don't know.

Lauren. Lauren. Yeah. Not the same effect. Lauren. Okay, great. I'll go with that. Anything with an A.

Okay. I love that for me. Okay, like I said, I've been watching you on the internet for a really long time. And I think what I learned is that you, correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't actually know you were like posting. No, yeah, I know. What? So I was uploading to, before TikTok was TikTok, it was musically. And it was like, you were right about that.

It was like a German company and it was sold to TikTok. It was sold to China became TikTok. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Because I remember musically. But I wasn't sure if it was the old TikTok. Yeah. So it was, but obviously it's changed a lot.

But I was uploading videos. You know how before you upload, you can save them to your camera roll and then you press post? So I was saving them to my camera roll, but I was also uploading them. And I was in middle school. In the beginning of middle school. So I didn't know the concept of like or understand the concept of people. There were no influencers really.

It was like YouTubers maybe. but I didn't know that I was uploading things publicly. I didn't know it was a platform. I thought I was just making videos that I could post on like Instagram. Right. And then on my Instagram started getting all these like follower requests from people I did not know. And then I, once I figured it out, I had like 30,000 followers on musically. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. How long did that like take for you to figure out? Not super long. All of it happened kind of in one. It was my summer. I want to say the summer. of seventh grade. Okay.

So it all happened sort of in that summer, probably like a couple weeks, but things were happening like pretty quickly, all things considered. Not the same way that things happened quickly for people now, but like, you know. Yeah. Were you, like once your followers started growing, were you excited about that? Are you nervous? Um, you just like, I don't know what's going on. And like how was, were you in school at that point?

I was mixed feelings. I, I was in school. and I definitely, like, so I was bullied in school before any of the social media stuff. When I was in, like, fifth grade, I was really, really ugly. I had no eyebrows and no eyelashes, and I was just really ugly. I know I wanted to be my friend and, like, honestly respect because, yeah, I look at those pictures and I'm embarrassed still, and I'm 22. My teeth were going all which ways, and, like, you couldn't tell what I had. I relate to that one.

I had really bad teeth that I was a kid. Like literally the second my teeth grew, my mom was like braces, you know, right now. Which, thank you so much. Like, if that hadn't happened, I'd probably still be struggling. But I ended up leaving school because of that. And I was gone for probably like a year. And then I would finish my schoolwork super early. And I had nothing to do.

So I would just watch makeup tutorials and hair tutorials and all the stuff. And then I became a full glam batty. And I love doing my makeup. up and I was like, I'm ready. I'm going back. And I went back. And then the whole social media thing happened. And then it was like, now it was a different reason that people didn't like me. Right. So I couldn't really win in that situation. But I ended up, I was only in school for like a year and a half. And then I ended up leaving again. The day that I left was so dramatic. There was this, I was in the hallway. And I was like getting my stuff because I was leaving. And my

Spanish teacher hated me. It was only like two weeks into school before I was like, okay, I'm out of here. You were getting bullied by your teachers too? Oh, yes. Like, yes. It's like a smaller town. Yeah. But there were definitely teachers that did not like me. There's a few that did, but a select few.

But the one teacher, I'm like, where are the fuck? I don't know what this. Okay, girl. The one teacher was, the Spanish teacher hated me. And I left her class. I left like halfway through. I was like, I'm not doing this. I was getting my stuff running and I like text me and I was like I'm I got to go like today is the day and I was in the hallway and this girl that had actually been making fun of me since like fourth grade said something in the hallway and I just had a whole meltdown with just her and I in the hallway and I was like you don't know what it's like whole thing left school never went back turning in my cheer uniform I was like turned in my cheer uniform I was like I'm done here and then I was homeschooled yeah but it was tough have you like seen any of these people yes

Oh, yes. So recently, last Halloween, I have three nephews. And we were taking one of my nephews trick-or-treating. He's like four. And we were, I was peach. He was towed. My other friend was Mario. We looked very cute. It was slaying. And we were going trick-or-treating in the neighborhood where a lot of kids that I went to school with used to live. And I mean, I'm 22. I don't really, I don't fully expect. people that I like went to school to still live in the same neighborhood but alas they do and I went up to this one girl's house and um it's sort of registered as I was going up I was like oh because my mom had gone there before and asked her parents to like tell her to like leave me alone it was like that bad um anyway I like took my nephew up and I was like kind of looking down and she they gave um him the candy whatever and then they offered me a drink and I was like sure I'll take it And I looked up and it was her and her parents. And it looked like she saw a ghost.

And I was like, I was like, oh, hey girl. And she was like, as I was walking away and she said to her parents, do you know who that was? And I was like, and that's when you go? And you know what? It was like retribution for how terrible I felt like as a 12, 13 year old. They made me feel so bad. And that just felt really good. Yeah.

I mean, there was no like, I mean, I was in like, I wasn't. like, girl, you know, there was none of that. But it just felt good that they were like, she was a little shook. Yeah, I liked it. I always, like, want to tell, like, the younger generation that's getting bullied, like, I honestly feel like the people that they can bullied, like are the most successful. The most successful, the most fun, but like the best personalities. Yeah. Because I was bullied. It builds character. It does. Yeah, no, I think it definitely does. But I, I've had very similar experiences going back to, like, my, like, hometown. after like being with Taylor.

And that was a big thing. She wants to, when would your, is that coming up? Next year. Oh, gosh. Oh, it's a reunion. My high school reunion. You're going? You see, I want to go.

Insane. I want to bring Taylor. You kind of have to. You kind of have to. That's what my friends say. Taylor's like, I'm not going. I'm like, never. I will just ask you this one favor.

Oh, gosh. So I can just show the people that made fun of me in high school. school and we're nice to me. Yeah. Where I'm at today. I hear you. Yeah. But yeah, if I was talking to like somebody who's young in going through bullying, but it's so hard to like really process.

Yeah. At that age. But like bullying comes from insecurity. Yeah. Yeah. That's it's like so you just got to like tell yourself that. Yeah. It's the same thing as like when I always think about this.

I'm like, I wish I could go back to school now with the brain that I have. Yeah. And like the things that I know. Yeah. And I just know it would be such a different experience. And I was doing a podcast recently in this girl. She was like 16 and she was there with her aunt. And she was talking about being bullied.

And I was like, I was like, girl, come on. Like none of it's going to matter. And that's the thing is like none of it, it's formative. But it doesn't, it's not going to matter. So I wish I could go back with the brain I have now. I'm sure 10 years from now I'm going to be like, I wish I could go back with the brain I have now. That's how it always is going to be.

Yeah. Because in that moment, you think it's like the end all be all. Yeah, like world crushing, life altering. But, you know, it builds character. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure, like, switching from, like, actual, like, in-person bullying. And then I'm sure that just, like, carried out on the internet for you.

Yeah. Which how do you, do you feel like that affected you the same way, like the internet bullying? Do you feel like it was different? I mean, it was kind of the same. It was kind of the same stuff, especially because I started when I was 13. So once I hit, like, I just moved to LA when I was like 15, 16. And I was, it was such a culture shock coming here from Pennsylvania because, you know, it's very different. People look different.

People have different priorities. And I was already sort of getting. used to that life. And then there's like, you know, the, I was also like growing and changing. And so I was like gaining weight and people were commenting about that. And then I'm also in LA and surrounded by that like culture of being perfect. Yeah. So that I think was the biggest adjustment with online comments and also where I was at. And like my environment at that time was just there was a lot of culture shocks happening one after the other and things to get used to. to. But yeah, I think it's just, again, it built character for sure. Yeah. What made you move

out here? So at the time I was homeschooled and I kept getting opportunities in L.A. And my mom was traveling with me a ton. And it got to the point where I was coming out here so much. My mom was like, well, why don't we just look at apartments? And we looked, the first one we looked at, I was like, I got to do it. And then my mom moved out here with me and my dad stayed back at home working. And my mom lived with me for like three years out here before she set me off on my way. But yeah, they took a lot of big leaps my family did for me to be here. So yeah. Yeah. Can definitely relate there. Yeah. Yeah. Tell her about your. I don't know. It's cute. I had a similar experience.

It's cute. I'm so sweet when like a parent like believes in their kid. Like the fact that your mom literally came out here like left her home, her husband. No, it's crazy. Yeah. My parents did the same thing. I still like don't understand why they did. And I'm like, honestly, I'm like, you were crazy.

But like, thankfully you did. But yeah, I started acting from Michigan. And for two, three years, we would. fly out here for auditions and stuff. And it was just like crazy. And eventually my parents were like, you know, if you want to keep doing this, we can't keep doing it from Michigan. We would have to go out there. And same thing. I was like, you know, I had friends and stuff. I was 11, 12. So I was like, I don't know. Like, can we just try it and see how it goes? So we looked at apartments. And I think they told me it was for like a six month lease but I think they were lying to me.

Oh, that's funny. I think they just knew that I would like it once you just get through the beginning of it. Yeah. But yeah, then we never went back. But I know. I'm like the support from parents is and I guess like you don't really, because I can't, I can't fathom, but I've also never had children. So I don't know what that feeling is like. And I'm sure, you know, my parents don't come from the entertainment industry. My dad's a biologist. My mom. I think at the time she was working in a bank. She's worked, she's done so many things. She's been a hairdresser. She's, she's done everything. Um, but everything happened happened so fast and they had to learn as I was learning and, um, they just trusted me and trusted that like, and I had this conversation with

my dad actually a couple weeks ago when I was visiting home. I was like, you know, thank God you did let me come out because like, oh, I would have been so miserable and I, I would have been so sad and would have never. And he was like, no, you would have had a great life. You would have went to school and you would have been happy, but like, this is what you chose. So this is what you did. And it was hard for my dad. I mean, I was gone all the time. Like, he probably only saw me a couple times a year between the ages of like, you know, 14 and until I recently got a place there. I went 20. Now I've been there more often. But like, I can't imagine. And we're so close. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. But yeah, and like the

sacrifice. There's so many things. And also just like, how do you parent? you know, when someone's just like going. And that's another thing I applaud them for. I sing their praises all the time because, you know, every family has their things. But like the sacrifices they've made for me are out of this world. Yeah. That's so sweet. I love that.

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Was that, like, hard for you to kind of, like, figure out, like, who is Lauren with, like, having, like, a social media presence, but also trying to figure out who you are and being in this, like, L.A. paced kind of style of life? Luckily, I feel like I may have had a different experience had I started everything and started pursuing the entertainment industry at all. all later. I think that would have been more difficult. But I started when I was already, I was 13, I was already, like, I didn't have a real sense of self yet. Yeah. So by the time it got to where I was, you know, making friends and learning who I was and figuring all those things out, which I still am, this was already a part of my life. You were already in it. So it wasn't, it wasn't changing me. It wasn't, it wasn't making me a different person. It was just, I was, I was, I was dabbling. different things and new things. And, you know, I got into, like, exercising and all those things

and, like, you know, singing and things that I hadn't, things that I'd always loved to do, but I was just in a new environment, doing them and with new friends and people who understood what I was going through. Yeah. But I think I'm very fortunate in the fact that this has always sort of been a part of my life that I can remember. So it hasn't really had an effect on, like, it didn't happen overnight. So it didn't blow my mind. I'm like, oh, my gosh, who am I? now. It was just sort of it happened as it happened, which I think was a good thing. Yeah. Do you feel like it's been, or I guess maybe not now, but then was it hard for you to like make friends or have like relationship with like trusting that people like actually like wanted

to be like your friend, not just like for the things? Absolutely. I started out with a lot of friends and then over time you sort of narrow it down to like two people. And now that I'm older, I feel like I, because I used to be friends with a lot of kids who were doing the same thing as me. And that wasn't always helpful. It was like kind of weirdly competitive. And so now that I'm older, I'm friends with people that are in different fields. Like my best friends, they work very normal jobs. And my other friends are like DJs. So there's like people are doing different things, which is nice because there's like, you know, you can help each other in different ways. But there's no. competition. I had so many weird experiences with people taking advantage of me in such strange ways. I had this girl one time come to my house when I was like 16. I was trying to make girlfriends. And I met her at a birthday party. I invited her to my house. Moral of the story is she was filming everything I was doing. I was putting on my shoes. She's filming me. I'm like brushing my hair. She's filming me. And it got to the point where I was getting annoyed, but I was like, whatever.

And then we went to get our nails done. And I had a pinter sport. of all of my nail stuff. And we got to the place. And she was like, oh, can I look at your Pinterest board? And I was like, sure. I gave her my phone. I get a call for my boyfriend and my mom. And they're like, did you post that?

And I'm like, what? She shouted herself out on all of my social medias. On Twitter, on Snapchat, on Instagram. She was like, hey, angels, follow da-da-da. And I left her at the nail salon because I was like, I was like, I can't pretend to. like you right now. I can't be around you because like how insane do you have to be to do that? And oh my gosh. I had experiences like that. So I had another girl that I like, I let her borrow my

phone because she broke hers. So I was like, you can use my old one until you get your spix. And she leaked all of my photos from my phone. Like crazy stuff like that of people that I thought were my friends and then they very much were not. Jeez. Yeah. And there was like nothing crazy. But like that's my. It's just an invasion of privacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. Back to the nail salon girl. Like, I'm just like, what, what, when she played that out in her brain before she did it? Clearly she didn't. How did she think that was going to go over?

Yeah. Like, eventually I'm going to see it. Right, you're going to see it at some point. So how is that going to go? She thought that was going to be a positive experience? Well, I didn't even mention it to her either. I was just like, ooh, emergency, got to go. Yeah.

And like, I hope you make it home okay. But. Is that the end of friendship? I actually have seen her a couple of times. time since then and I'm sure she's like matured and I'm a bit more normal now. I don't I don't really know. I've had very brief conversations. But that is always in the back of my mind because I'm like, girl, you're crazy. Like that is crazy to do. That is crazy. I literally cannot even. I cannot. The fact that your boyfriend and mom were like, um, yeah, my boyfriend called me and he was like,

did you post that? I'm like, post what? He was like, on your story. I'm like, what's on my story? And that is my biggest fear. My biggest fear. I answer, if I see a, phone call, I answer it every time. Because if someone calls me before they text me, I always assume it's something serious. Yeah. Which it never is. But I'm afraid, like, have you seen the memes that are like me checking my story at night, making sure I didn't post a picture of myself naked with my address as the caption? Like, that is my biggest fear. Yeah. I, yeah, I, I, I question that every time. You're like, aloof to that. You don't, they. What are you trying to say? I'm going to say you're aloof to posting if things are in the background or a reflection or a phone number. Yeah.

He's aloof to that, and I've caught him multiple times. Luckily, there has been no nudity yet. No. But there has been the addresses and things before. I'm like, dude, I don't worry about that. I'm a fairly clothed person, so that doesn't really cross my mind as much. But like, I have posted my address so many times in the car on the GP at whatever. Yeah.

You kind of, you touched on this earlier, but it was something I was curious about because I'm just like, you started on the internet at such a young. age and you have a following that I can't even imagine. Do is comparison something that you have, you know, had to deal with going through that journey? Because I know, you know, for, even for me, like, comparison has been tough, like body image has been tough. I just was curious, you know, what that journey has looked like. for you and where you're at now with it.

I think there's positives and negatives. I think on a positive side, my audience has evolved with me quite a bit. So, like, when I was 16, 17, it was teenage girls that were coming up to me, teenage girls that were watching my stuff. Now, I mean, there's still that, but a lot of my audience is college age. They're the people like, they're like the waitresses and they're like checking me out now at the store. So it's, I feel like they sort of understand.

my, the evolution that your personality sort of goes through. And, um, when it comes to body image, that was especially a struggle for me between like 16, 18. I feel like now that I'm a little older and I've made some changes, I've gotten better at handling that kind of commentary. Um, but of, of course, I mean, the, having opinions on anything is never easy. Um, But I do think that, you know, between people comparing me to like who I was three years ago or five years ago or ten years ago, it's always going to be different. But for the most part, I feel like people have sort of evolved with me. And of course, like my body changes constantly because I'm 22 and things fluctuate all the time. So, but I try not to read too much. I try to stay off that a little bit because it was not good for me in the past. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've gotten better at that. I like went. I feel like I swung so far.

Like once I started getting a following when we like went public. I like didn't read the comments. And I just like was like so far I would never even like look at a comment. Like I wouldn't even click to open it. Would you get like anxiety like surrounding even like thinking about looking at it? Because that's what I get sometimes. I sometimes get that. But I feel like I've gotten.

I've had to do like circle back because when we started this podcast, I was like, I never looked at the comments. And our listeners would be like, Tay, no, you're never going to see this because you don't look at the comments, but I love this episode because blah, blah, blah. And now I'm like, okay, there's actually like nice comments out there. Yeah. I've like just built this wall up for maybe not the best reason.

Yeah. So now I've gotten a little better with it. That makes sense. And I know, I feel like you sort of, you start to learn where to read and when to stop reading and things like that. Because I do see what people are saying. And the good always outweighs the bad.

But all it takes is seeing one thing that kind of ruins your day. Yeah. But for the most part, I mean, you kind of, like I said, you learn how to navigate it a little bit. So like maybe not this comment section, but I can probably read this one and be safe. Yeah. No, that's true. But I also just like, I don't, I've had my feelings hurt a lot. It doesn't really bother me as much anymore.

Yeah. Where's the most brutal comment section? YouTube. YouTube. Mm-hmm. Okay. I feel like people are the most... And TikTok.

TikTok is more... Okay. So in my experience, TikTok is more like... It's the girlies. And if they don't like something, it's like the snide comments that you're like, damn, I feel like I'm being bullied, you know?

Like, it feels like... But YouTube feels like criticism. Yeah. Like YouTube, it's not a couple sentences. That's a paragraph that you're reading. And it's like... I've noticed that. Yeah.

Yeah. Huh. Yeah. And Twitter is just like you really, you wrote a whole tweet. Like that is a post in and of itself that you dedicated to me. That hurts. That hurts. That's funny.

I know. We don't have Twitter, so we don't. It might be for the best. Yeah. We'll just keep it that way. We had, last week, we had Jacqueline Hill and her husband on, if you know how that is. But they're good friends of ours. But we were talking about her whole, like, we talked a lot.

We actually did two parts. but we talked a lot about like her lipstick, her cancellation, all this stuff and how just how her world got rocked. And it was interesting to hear that like back then like real life Jacqueline and social media Jacqueline were the same person. And then like now today she's at a place where like social media Jacqueline is different. It's its own person. Yeah, because you have to sort of at some point, I don't want to say disassociate, but you do have to kind of separate. the two. Yeah. Because it can be, I think when I was young and I was, I was online all the time and I, I really, really craved that, like, validation. I was on all the time and I cared so much. And now that I'm like an adult with, and you just had to have to protect yourself at some point. And I remember being so wrapped up in everything and reading everything. And that, that can be really, really, it's good to separate the two because not having that separate. can be so confusing because you don't know where to draw the line. You don't know where your

boundaries are. And isn't that so, I always think like, in real life, you would never cancel a person. Yeah. You know, like, that's not, you might not like someone. You might say, oh, what you did was really bad, but you wouldn't like, the term cancellation, I hate so much because it's like, it's like a person is like diminished to like a TV program and your like mistakes are like the end of you. And I think, you know, some people do bad things and then they need to be held accountable for it. But I also feel like it was lipstick. Yeah. It was a lipstick. Yeah. Like if that's, I don't know, it just kind of sucks because it feels like the internet has gotten so far away from being fun. And it's just so, it's such a scary place to be sometimes. And, um, the humanity is gotten taken out of it quite a bit. Like, it's almost like the more people want to be vulnerable and the more people crave that, the, the further you have to pull yourself away. And the, the, the, the further you have to pull yourself away. And, because it's like, they don't want you to do perfect, but they do. Yeah. I don't know.

It's a tough one. It's such an interesting way to think about it. Like, yeah, you're right. Like, that would never happen face to face. No, in real life, you would be like, hey, you said something shitty. Like, not cool, dude. Yeah. Say sorry.

Or just like stop talking to them. Yeah, or just like not, don't interact with them. But you don't, it wouldn't be like, well, everyone hates you now. Bye. Yeah. Like, it's very. You're done. Yeah, you're done forever.

And like I said, I think some people do really horrible things that probably do deserve to be held accountable for. But sometimes there's such little things that people get like wrecked over. Yeah. And it's really sad because you wouldn't do that to a person in real life. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to like separate that.

And it's so easy for, you know, the internet trolls to just. What do they call them? Keyboard. Keyboard warriors. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's so easy to do that.

It is. But I don't know. I think it's a touchy subject. Yeah. When you look back at videos from two, three, four, five years ago, what's the biggest change you see in Lauren from then and Lauren sitting on this couch today? I think, well, I think I used to be, it depends because like 13, 14 year old me was very defensive. Yeah. Like I responded to everything and anything and I was like defensive to the highest degree. And then I think once I hit like 15, 16, 17, I just worked myself into the ground. Like I would wake up and do my makeup and sit in front of my like vanity mirror lighting for hours and like drive myself crazy over things and then wake up and do it all again. But I think now I've got a better balance. I think I've gotten better at prioritizing. what's important to me and not what I feel like I need to be doing, which is good.

But I think I just didn't have any balance. It was like ups and downs and ups and I didn't know. I was like figuring it all out and getting used to that much attention. And also just like working and the concept of it becoming work was really weird to get used to. And separating, you know, you're like, okay, this is my job now and how much of this is personal and how much of this do I want to share because he used to just share everything. And I would like break up with a boyfriend and like Twitter knew before he did, you know, like, like that's a, that's something that I, I had to sort of get under control.

And just realizing like people don't need to know everything. Like people used to know everything. And I don't, I am who I am on the internet and in real life, but they don't need to know everything that's going on. For sure. Yeah, for sure. I mean, that, that's healthy. Yeah.

And a good balance. What tools or resources have you found to be like most helpful when it comes to your mental health? Oh my gosh. Putting my phone away. I don't scroll as much as I used to. I feel like people send me things and keep me in the loop, like the pop culture loop more from them seeing things and saying, I don't see things that often, which is good because I feel like I've given myself time to find different interests and different things that I enjoy doing. Also, like, making music, I started

making music when I was 16 and that was really helpful because it was something that I didn't, I could make something and be productive and be working on something that was not so revolved around me and the way I look and, like, being on the internet. Because I just kind of get sick of seeing my own face and like hearing my own voice and and reading stuff about me. It just gets really, really old. So I like working on something outside of myself. That's been helpful. But just being off my phone, I know that's like very cliche. But watching a show even or like doing something else is very nice. Yeah. No, it's a good. It's a very good reminder because it's so easy, especially when like your phone is your work.

Like it's so, it's so easy. And making that distinction has been really important because I, I feel like out of all of my friends, I'm on my phone the least, because I'm like, it's my job. Like,

I don't, because as soon as I get on my Instagram, it's all pictures of me, which I love, like, you know, very nice people. But sometimes I'm like,

man, see myself again. Yeah. So, yeah, I feel like making that, distinction like, you know, I'm at the car wash. People need to know that. I'm at the car wash. Yeah. I'm at the store. People don't need to know that. That's funny. Have you gone to therapy?

Yes. Kind of. Kind of. Explain. I did. I actually this year, not that long ago. And I felt like I just talked like I just talked. And she's got maybe five words in. I was like, damn. There's a lot. And I was like scratching the surface. I was like, this is going to, I'm going to really have to find the person to really like unpack with. But I also feel like it needs to be at a time where I'm not going to like send myself into a spiral by unpacking things. So yeah. Yeah. That was good. It was like situational. I was like, okay, I need to want to talk to about this situation. Yeah. But yeah, I probably should like prioritize more, but I don't. That's, that's us too. I also just think like in my head like sometimes I think I'm my own therapist.

Like, I'm very good at figuring myself out. Yeah. Spent a lot of time with myself, a lot of time looking at myself, a lot of time analyzing myself. And usually I can tell where something's coming from. I'm like, oh, girl, you got to stop. I will say, I feel like I have learned that about you. Like, when I learned that you were 22, I was actually surprised. Like, I thought, I'm 27.

I thought we were, like, the same age because of how you carry yourself. Like, I feel like you're very self-aware. I was not self-aware. I still feel like I struggle with that. but I was like not like that at all at 22. So it's cool. Like I actually do normally, I'd be like, you're not your therapist. But I actually do feel like you are very self-aware.

I just have to be, I think, I don't want to word that. I've had to be self-aware because there's been a lot of instances where I needed to understand myself so I could understand situations that I was in. and even like being at a record label and you get a lot of opinions all the time and if you don't know who you are and how you work and what's going on in your brain it's very easy to believe what everyone is like telling you there was a lot of um there are a lot of people who've mistaken me for a dumb person yeah and I feel like I needed to really look inward to be like that's not who I am and like who am I um to be able to handle those kinds of situations. Otherwise, I think I would have been very like, flippant and not, things would not have

turned out the way I wanted them to. So, and I also just, you know, there's been, there hasn't really been anyone holding my hand. So situationally, you got to figure it out. And that creates a lot of self-awareness. Yeah. And shitty situations also create a lot of self-awareness. Right. And situations where I've been shitty. Like, especially recently, I've been thinking, I'm like, man, there's been a lot of times where I've been really wrong. And just like, not really hurt anyone, but just, I was like, man, I couldn't have been more wrong. And that's important too.

For sure. For sure. No, I agree with that. Speaking of shitty situations. That was good. Oh, wow. That was good. Thank you.

You have a new movie out. I do. Yes. Literally, I'm going to be talking about this for a month. Well done. Hold that one. Well done. Oh my gosh. Okay. Your new movie incoming is on Netflix. It's out now. What is it about? Tell us I want to hear. So it's like a coming of age comedy movie. It's about four freshman boys. And they're going to this party. Two of them get in, two of them zone. And they kind of have their own separate little adventures. And they come into their own and their own different ways. I play Katrina, who is like the popular it girl, whatever. And she embarrasses herself. Yeah.

Gets herself in quite the shitty situation. I shit myself, guys. I shit myself in the movie. Oh, you shit yourself. Yes. Oh, wow. Yeah, I shit myself in the movie. Oh, so were you like actually covered in it?

Yes. Oh. Very much so. Not real shit. It was. Oh, that's good. Yeah, we were talking about this earlier. It was peanut butter.

I think it was crunchy. Not smooth. Not smooth I did Applesauce And some kind of oil And then halfway through the movie They switched to sunflower oil

discovered I was allergic To sunflower oil So yeah Not enough for me Got hives and all that That was great But yeah It was crunchy

It was crunchy Yeah for sure it was Can we title this episode Crunchy peanut butter please It's true But yeah I was rolling in it And so it was edible

Sure I wasn't like You know, like it was, that wasn't happening. But you tried it. I mean, it's bound again. I was everywhere. It's bound to get my mouth at some point. It wasn't bad.

Oh, my gosh. It's mad that is. It was in my hair. Oh, everywhere. Everywhere. Oh, gosh. What was your, is this the first, like, movie, TV thing you've been a part of?

How was your, like, the experience filming, like, that whole process, doing that for the first time? It was great. I mean, I, I've had a lot of, opportunities presented to me over the years. And I, so before I started social media, my mom used to take me up to New York every Tuesday to do acting classes because I loved it. Oh, wow.

And that was like before I did any of this. So I was always interested in it, but I hadn't really found the right thing. And I felt like if I was going to do something I wanted to be because someone thought that I was good at acting and not because I could bring viewers to the, movie. So I had a few opportunities that I ended up being like, I don't know. It doesn't feel right. But when I read this script, I was like, I loved it because it was taking what people would expect from me and making it something unexpected. And I auditioned so many times. I did self-tape after self-tape with different acting coaches. I did probably like six or seven of those. And then I went in person a couple

times. So with the directors. So it was like very intense and I was really, really trying because I loved the movie. I loved the script and I thought it would be a really good, like, place to start. And I will say I was, I feel like I was pretty spoiled because they were very collaborative and helpful and believed in me a lot, which, you know, they didn't have to. So that was, that was really nice and I feel like now I don't know it was a it was a great place to start yeah are you wanting to do more yeah absolutely I mean I had such a good time and it's it's nice to be a part of someone else's project like I love I love being able to play in someone else's instead of being the person that's coming up with it all the time it's nice to be like okay let's

put it in someone else's hands and and do their thing yeah it's fun yeah well we're So excited to watch. Thank you. Go check it out right now. Yeah. Covered and poop, dude. Covered and poop, dude. Crunchy.

Crunchy. It was, too. There was a couple times I had to, I had to do a slow motion, like, fall into the poop because we're, like, in a car. And it's, anyway, I had to slow motion fall into the poop. And I did it, like, 50 times, just throwing myself into this pile of poop. And I was like, you know what? Like, this is my job. This is what I, this is what.

And if you just. told me like when I was 12 that that's what I would be like getting paid to do. I don't know what I would have. I'm like, I guess that tracks probably. Get to the track. It lines up. Oh my gosh. Was there was that like your favorite or not favorite scene to film or what was there like something that you love doing or something that you were like scared to do? The the poop. It did get a little old after a while. You know the first couple times you're covering poop. You're like, oh, this is funny. This is funny. This is funny. This is weird. And then, you know, day 14 of being covered in poop and, like, they're trying to make sure it's in the right spots and it's in your hair. Oh, continuity with the poop. Yeah, and you can't really sit down when you're covering in poop.

So just, like, standing there waiting for your turn. That was like, it wasn't not fun, but it wasn't comfortable. But I also, like, knew very much that that was what I was signing up for. They asked, like, a million times, are you sure you're good with this? Are you sure you? You know, I was like, yeah, of course. There I was, standing on the side of the road covered in poop. The party scenes were fun because I haven't been to a high school party.

So, you know. Party scenes are fun. They're not like that. They're not like that from what I've been told. But it was fun to watch. And just to work with like really talented kids, they're really funny. Because the boys were like 14, 15, 16 when we were shooting. And they were really funny, which was cool.

Because I only got to see like two of the boys. I kind of shot with them the whole time. Okay. But they were really funny. So that was nice. I don't know. I don't really have any complaints. It was really fun all the way around.

I love it. Yeah. That's so exciting. To many more. To many more. Oh, yeah. Shall we do our last little segment? Let's do it.

Okay. This is called Lemon 7. There's seven questions. You can rapid fire. You can go into a monologue if you feel whatever is on your heart. You just go with it. Okay. All right.

Number one. What movie or song title best describes your mental health? today. Oh, boy. I'm so tired by, I think it's by Lov. That one. Yeah, I'm so tired. I am. I want to like, I can't sleep for longer than like six hours and I wish I could. Yeah. I wake up. Have you tried the lemmy sleep gummies? No. Okay. I've tried other gummies. I, yeah. I am the same as you. I'm like, I, I just wake up. I don't. know like what's going on but these dummies do something to you okay you I have one the dose is two yeah you're supposed to take two it's just it's just a magnesium and melatonin but I I can't

take too much melatonin because it gives me freaking weird dreams but it's it's a smaller dose melatonin more magnesium I have three quarters of one I took I had one last night knocks me out yeah like really I'm just like really they really do we have We have some downstairs. We need to get us. We'll send you off with some. I don't know. They literally,

I wake up at like, I fall asleep at like 10. I wake up at 1.30. Then I'll wake up at 4. Then I'll wake up and it's, it's a never-ending cycle. Yeah. But I do have very weird dreams and I think that adds to it.

Like I had a dream last night of just going through all these different rooms and all these different. Like, it's like a horror movie when I sleep. And then I wake up and I feel gross and weird. And I'm like, what was that? Do you ever have the dreams where your teeth are falling out? Yes. I've had every dream that I've had a bat, I'm walking up the stairs and I fall on my teeth hit the stairs.

Oh, wow. I've had so many of those. And then it's always like my front teeth or I have loose teeth in the dream. And I know it's coming out, but I'm trying to like stick it back in. Yeah, I have that too. What's that supposed to mean again? It's like you're stressed or like anxious about something. Interesting.

There's a lot of different like meanings for things. I've had so many weird ones. That's a whole other. That's a whole other topic. Like my nana like reads dreams and she like I would always text her if I have like a reoccurring thing. She would tell her exactly what it means. Yeah. That's crazy.

I have so many weird reoccurring dreams, especially when I'm home in Pennsylvania. Like that's when the weird ones jump out. I'll give you my nana's number. You can text her. Perfect. Number two is how open are you with people in your life when struggling? Um, not really at all. Honestly, I'm trying to get better at that.

But I feel like I don't even know what I'm struggling, you know, because I'm a very like, go, go, go, go, go person. And it's not until I'm like done and everything's still that I'm like, yeah. Uh-oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before. Yeah. Like, notices. Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. Must be nice. All right. Number three. Can you tilt that a little bit more than time? So sorry. You read these questions how many times?

Yeah. This is episode 150 and I still don't know them. She's like a teleprompter. I know. Okay. If you could only follow, and I know you're, you know, trying not to scroll too much, but if you could only follow three social media accounts, what would they be? Oh, M.G.

Let me think. Okay. I don't know, because I like the meme pages. I like the swipe slideshow. Those are allowed. Carousel meme pages. I don't have any, like, off. the top, but I would want like...

One of those? Like one of those. What else I use Instagram for? It could be cross-platforms. Cross-platforms? Okay. Probably like one of my friends. Can I do that? Just I know what like one of them is up to at least. Yeah. Sounds important.

Who's the most important one? Let me think about my favorite fact. We'll bleep it. One of them, I don't know. And then... Hmm. Probably. Trying to think of people I listen to or things.

Oh, there's a guy on TikTok that does wildlife in the Florida Everglades. He'll like go, he goes in the Florida Everglades and he catches different critters. And then he'll be like, he'll grab a frog and he'll be like, this is very venomous. And then he'll just be like holding it. This sounds like you. The Florida Everglades guy. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like you're getting a very good picture of who I am from this very short time that we've known each other. What, sorry, what's an Everglade? Is that a place or is that a land? It's like, they're like kind of, God, Florida people do not attack me. I'm just a girl. Like swamp lands, I think. Okay. Okay.

I think. Yeah, it's, that's, those are when you go on the boats, like, and you look for, like, crocodiles and stuff. Those are these, and there's the, yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like, like, dirty water. Yeah.

Dirty water. Florida people do not come at me. I don't know. I know what it's called. Girl. Just a girl. I'm just trying to make it thorough. Oh, that's good. Love those. Love that for you.

Number four is what is your favorite form of self-care? Ooh. What's an acceptable answer here? Honestly, sleeping. When I can actually like try to, like, a good nap. We love a nap. The nap's where you're just so tired, you don't remember falling asleep. You wake up, it's like two hours later.

You're like, what time is it? Yeah. That's self-care to me. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm too lazy to do like a facial, you know? I don't have the patience to be like skincare routine. Yeah.

When I go to bed at night, it's like when the makeup has to come off, it's a struggle. I usually just try to do it all in the shower. I'll bring like my pills in the shower with me. Everything's there because by the time I get out, you're just wanting to crash. I'm done. Or I'll do it at the gym. I'll like do my whole nighttime routine at the gym. And then when I get home, I just right into bed.

Yeah. Gym straight into bed. I mean, efficient. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. You see how many girlies are in that locker room though, getting ready for bed or in the morning they're getting ready for like their day.

Yeah. And they kick it. I'm like, how do you all know each other? They all know each other in there. Wow. They're like, how is Bryce and soccer practice? I'm like, girl, we are like at the Equinox locker room. Me walking through with like all of my bathroom products to like shower for the night.

Hey girls. People are probably going to think to you like don't have a shower. Oh, I know. I have a couple of those. I just, I prefer the one at the gym, honestly. I do it. The water's, the water pressure is better. It's warmer. It smells better. There's music. I don't have to facilitate any of that. If I do that at home, I got to, like, you know, light a candle and play some too much work. Do it at the gym. I feel that. We love a good water pressure. We love great water pressure. Yeah. All right. Number five, what would you say is the most misunderstood thing about you? Gosh. I don't actually know. I think people probably assume I'm like not that smart. Well, yeah, I mean, you said that earlier, which seems like it can't be further from the truth. Like you are so like sharp and thoughtful and impressive. Thank you. I try. I mean, I feel like that's unfortunately. People also assume that I'm not nice, which I hate because I'm like, man, is it the eyeliner? Is that what's doing it? Like, are you kidding me? I was bullied in school, guys.

I am afraid of you. Like, I, I'm not going to be mean. There's people have come up to be somebody. They're like, you're so much nicer than I thought you were going to be. I'm like, I was, my heart was racing when I saw you looking at me from across the room. Like, I was scared of you. So that's another thing. But yeah, I think people just think I'm probably not that smart, which, guys, I'm in college and I have a 4.0.

So let's, it's, it is community college. But I have a 4.0 and I'm clinging to that. Community college is the best thing ever. Right. I'm like full, like, community college. I went to community college. I got my nursing degree there, like full on license. It's like truly the smartest thing I ever did because I got to just focus on nursing.

And I'm not getting. And you're not 200,000. Yeah. And that's that, that's that part because I was like, you know, I want to, I want to go to school. Because I like learning. And I like having structure. So I like having something that I can do that's, I know that my brain is working on something other than me. but I was like, you know, I don't have, I graduated from homeschool.

So I'm like, I don't know how that's going to go over with the colleges. Yeah. So in community college, my friend was already going to the same college. So she helped me set it up and everything. And I have, I'm getting a degree for transfer so I can transfer to it. But I don't know, I really do love community college. Yeah, that's great. I don't know.

I think it's the same thing. Yeah. You're just having a different experience. Yeah. And like, I think college. would have ate me up. Yeah. Right.

If I went to college, have you all seen Bama Rush? Oh my gosh. On TikTok. Bama Rush would have swallowed me whole. Yeah. I would have, I would have, I don't know if I would have made it out. Yes. Oh, I was like, what is Bama Rush?

It's like, oh my God. It's like when all the sorority girls. I thought it was one word. I'm like, Bama girls. All they're like, sorority girls. It gives me anxiety. I'm like how, I went to, I technically, I went to, actual college for a semester. I was a dance major because my parents didn't know what the

frick I was doing. Dance. I was like, I'm going to do this. But I was very overwhelmed by sorority. I was like, I can't, I can't do this. And when I watch the TikToks, they're impressive. Don't get me wrong. What is going on? They do all these dances and these things and then, and they're all perfect and gorgeous. And they do, they roll tight, you know. Wait, yeah. Wait, are these those videos of the girls where they go, I'm a And I'm going to bam, spragal bam. Yeah. That's alpha beta.

Yeah. Trifecta. That's them. And they would have chewed my ass up and spit me on the ground. I swear, I would have been like, you girls got this. Either that or either that or I would have like needed to be in charge. Yeah. I would have been like, all right, ladies, here's the plan.

But I don't know. I'm literally the same. Literally the same. There's no in between. It's either I'm fully out of it or I'm like, I'm in charge. I'm running the shit. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

I have to show you some of these. I can't wait. Bender Rush. They're impressive and terrifying, but in the best way. Roll tide. Roll tide. No, go blue. They're different things though, right?

What? They're different. They're in different things, though. Michigan is blue. Oh, different divisions? Yeah. Yes. They're different divisions.

So both can coexist. Yeah. Okay, great. You can roll tide and go blue all day long. We took BAM out to go to the national championship. So they're not happy with us right now. Oh, who's us? Michigan?

Yeah. Nice. I had an ex-boyfriend who went there. I went to one of the games. It's great. You went to the big house? Um, yes, I did.

Wow. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. I was real drunk. I was real drunk. But it was fun. I love hot dog.

Um, number six is who's had the most positive impact on your mental health? Um, probably my parents. I don't know. I feel like every time I go home and I come back here, I feel like, okay. I remember what I'm doing. Yeah. And I feel like they always put things in a perspective of like, girl, you're like, it's, you're going to be fine. Yeah. And that's always nice. So I would say them. Nice. I love that. All right. Number seven, last. If you go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself? Whoa. Like, what a loaded question, guys. Um, so like I have, I have, like, serious memory loss. So I can only remember like, the past couple of months. People have tried to ask me questions about, like,

I know my life, because I've told the story so many times, but like when I actually try to think in moments, I'm like, what was I? Yeah, I have the same thing. It's just so much has happened. I feel like, kind of what you were talking about earlier, I wish I could go back to school and just feel like, who cares? Yeah.

You know? Because I took that stuff so serious. And I, like, I almost let that, because I almost didn't do social media because I didn't, want to be the person that people were making fun. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. So I wish I could be like, oh, it's not that serious and your life is going to be really cool

and great. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. I love that. I have loved this time together. Truly, this has been so fun. You are just like, I'm truly, I was already impressed learning about you, but I feel like

I'm more impressed just like, thank you. Hearing you and like hearing your perspective on life and just like. what you've been through and like where you are today. It's really inspiring. And you captured a spider for us. Yeah. I did do that. He was just a little baby.

It's dead now. I was going to leave that part out. It was just a baby. It's dead. I can't help it. It's like the... I appreciate it. It's the Pennsylvania.

It's the Pennsylvania. But yeah, thanks for joining us. Everyone go check out Lauren's new movie and coming on Netflix. She's out now. She's out now. Thank you. Enjoy the poop. Crunchy. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.