The Squeeze - Nick Viall and Natalie Joy: The Value of Therapy

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

TW: suicidal ideation (35:18 - 35:31), PTSD (38:15 - 39:34), sexual assault (40:25 - 41:30). Please note there may be programmatic ads that affect the timestamp for each listener. Please find resources, including BetterHelp, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, National Suicide Prevention Hotline, and more at https://www.lemonsbytay.com/resources  For 10% off your first month of BetterHelp visit betterhelp.com/thesqueeze  Additional resources:  National Child Abuse Hotline - www.childhelp.org  National Domestic Violence Hotline - www.thehotline.org  Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - www.rainn.org  National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline - www.loveisrespect.org  National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) - https://www.nsvrc.org/how-to-help  Joyful Heart Foundation - https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/sexual-assault-and-rape/resources/family-friends-and-support In this episode, the Lautners are joined by #1 podcaster Nick Viall and his fiancée Natalie Joy for an incredibly vulnerable conversation about their relationship and their experience with therapy. First, they discuss their recent visit to NYC, where they recreated their first date, as well as their first impressions of one another and any “red flags" they were cautious of. Natalie, like Tay, works in healthcare (as a surgical technician) and wasn't in the spotlight prior to her relationship with Nick. They discuss the scrutiny that comes from dating someone in the public eye and supporting someone struggling with their mental health. Nick and Natalie also share the value they’ve found in couples therapy to help them stay connected, and Natalie opens up about past traumas resurfacing and her experience with EMDR therapy. Lastly, your hosts ask Nick what it is about his podcast that explains its remarkable success. The Squeeze team would like to sincerely thank Nick and Natalie for being so vulnerable, and we hope Natalie’s story inspires someone out there to reach out for help.  Be sure to follow Nick and Natalie @nickviall and @nnataliejjoy and tune into The Viall Files wherever you get your podcasts.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible:   Cozy Earth — Go to cozyearth.com for up to 35% off site wide when you use the code THESQUEEZE  Manscaped — Go to manscaped.com for 20% off and free shipping with code THESQUEEZE   To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail].  Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Auto-hue with Sunny Cars feels as if the children not be made. Tiesel stramble, sand forda. Actis for care, verdwine, vacancy can chaotic

be chaotic. But who'sorgalos an auto-hurt says, Uno-dos, no stress. No, no-vervicts. No,

unverwachted costs, always fullledgert. So, would auto-hue without your reiseadviseur or sunnycars. When life gives you

lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, We talk about it. Hello, hello, hello, everyone. And welcome back to your weekly dose of the squeeze. I am Taylor Lautner, and I am joined by my lovely wife, Too, Too, Taylor Loudner. Oh, sound effects.

You're getting good at those sound effects. Yeah, so I'm getting pricey too. Oh. I'm like beatbox and sound effects, you know. Oh, this isn't good for me. Co-host. You're going to have to come up with some sort of payment. We won't get into the details.

Anyways, we're getting ready to go on another trip. Mm-hmm. Woo-woo. Woo-woo. It's a little bit of mixed feelings for us. We recently got back from a long trip overseas. Yeah. And we missed our puppies.

We missed our house. We missed our friends. So we're just recovering from that one. Yeah, it's going to be great though. You guys, I'm going to, I'm planning, don't call me on this. I'm planning. Quoter. I'm going to try to vlog our trip.

Because a lot of you guys are always like, can you please make more YouTube videos? And I genuinely love making YouTube videos and I love editing the videos. but we have just been so swamped the past like six, 10 months, long time. So I haven't really had the chance to sit down and edit, even then that brings me joy. So that's a goal of mine is to start making some more YouTube videos, but we have a fun trip, which I don't want to share too much. Very fun trip. You guys need to follow along with us on our content because it's going to be fun.

Because it's going to be epic. Yeah. Well, let's get into today's... Can I just quickly, before we get into today's episode, just... I put it on my story, like, a week or two ago. But we've just been getting so many emails and reviews on the show that just have meant so much to us. Yeah. I put a few of the reviews on my story.

And I know the Squeeze account, maybe the Lemons account. maybe the Lemon's account does as well. But it's just reading the reviews and reading the emails, just how squeeze, topics, guests that we've had on, you know, have affected, you know, you or a loved one, hearing your stories and just all of the feedback has just been overwhelming and just really validates. us and the reason that we're doing this. And it makes me really, really happy.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just hearing that we have an email for the first time. That's because you don't watch our episodes all the way through and don't listen to our atroes. So I'm going to take this time at the beginning of our episodes to tell you. Our email islaughtner. Dot the Sweeyspodcast at gmail.com.

Where you can email us guests. We've actually gotten some pretty good guest recommendations that we've had on or... You just sent me some recommendations from the email. And can't share quite yet because we haven't, um, filmed. But yeah, we've gotten some really great stuff and just like stories and ideas for some stuff that will be happening a little down the line on the squeeze. But also, if you're listening to this and you didn't know that we have a YouTube channel, where we post our full, full, full episodes. Sometimes some stuff gets cut out of just the audio. But YouTube is where it's at.

So if you're watching on YouTube, if you want to give us a thumbs up, that's great. Um, you know, subscribe and all those fun things because we love what we do and, you know, you guys telling us you're loving it or giving us recommendations of how we can fix it. We so appreciate that because we do this for you and for us because we love it. We do. It's our fun little does. We do, we do. Well, today we have an awesome episode.

Incredible guests. We have the very entertaining, um, wise and crushing it at the moment. Yeah. Nick Vile. Yes. Who is the host of his podcast, The Vial Files,

which is just absolutely soaring to the top of the charts. And I'm so happy for him because he just does such a good job. And he works really hard. Yes. Very, very hard. Yes. And I'm so glad that it is paying off. Yeah.

Because he deserves it. Yeah. And he is joined by his beautiful, lovely fiance, Natalie. Yes. Who we've been wanting to meet for some time now. And we finally got to meet her. Yeah. And she is awesome.

And before we get into that conversation with them, we do want to say to all the listeners and viewers, there is going to be sensitive topics discussed in today's episode. So we do want to give a trigger warning. Natalie was able to open up and be extremely vulnerable with us, and we were not expecting it. We did not discuss any of this beforehand. she herself wasn't planning on talking about this.

So I will say that we were not prepared for this, and I wish we could have, you know, gotten deeper into it, as deep as she would have wanted to go, and also provide on the spot resources and tools for anybody going or having gone. through the same or similar thing. But with that being said, we just, we feel so thankful that we can provide a safe place for our guests to talk about these things.

So, yeah. You know, that's the whole reason we started this in a very big thing. thing of ours is, you know, we want our guests to feel safe. And, you know, this is their time to share, what they want to share, what they don't want to share. They don't need to. And Natalie is such a joy, ironically. And, you know, I'm so proud of her for getting to this place where she is able to share her experiences. I have chills again, as we're talking about this, just thinking back on the episode, but I think she's going to be able to help a lot of people from her experiences and where she's at now and how she's growing. I think she is proof that therapy is necessary

in works wonders. And also just kind of bouncing off of what Taylor said, we will be providing some resources, some links down below for anyone that. that wants that. But yeah, you know, we, we went to the episode. Just wanting to talk about Nick and Natalie as a couple, because obviously we can relate to them. Us and them are very similar of, you know, both the guys have kind of been in the spotlight and Natalie and I going into these relationships, not having that. So we're just, we're planning on talking about that. But, you know, we got really honest enough with Natalie. And it's a. It's a great episode, man.

I'm, I'm so stoked for you guys to listen to this. We love them both, and we thank them for coming on and talking with us. And nobody, nobody should have to go through what Natalie did. But she is, yeah, a living, breathing example of how strong you can come out of something like that. and I commend her for using her story to help others. Yeah. Enjoy guys. Thank you for being here and welcome to the squeeze.

Thank you for having us. Happy to be here. Okay, so we start off each episode, this beautiful jar here. We have very deep burning, passionate questions in there. If you guys would like to pull one of them. Each of us? Sure. I mean, if you want to pull two for the both of you or however you want to do it.

By the way, you forgot the best part. This segment's called Citrus Got Real. Thank you. Wow. Did you think of that? Did we think of that? Somebody put it. It's pretty good.

I think I did off a puns on Google. What do we have? I want to go first. I'm reading it, so I suppose I will. Okay. What is something that is really popular now, but in five years, everyone will look back on and be embarrassed by? men wearing ugs

because I'm wearing ugs right now and I'm loving it and I find him to be fashion forward Have you tried fuzzy crox You do that first? No but my I've just found out I have a friend It's more my sister's friend

But he works for crocs I just found out today You should try Fuzzy crocs Are those fashionable as well as Comfortable? Of course they're fashionable Okay she thinks they are

You're either on the crock train Or off the crocs But they've also had staying power as well I don't know. What is something else would be? They breathe well. I stand. Like what's really popular trends right now?

Everything has come back. Like everything that we thought was done forever is now coming back. We were in New York. Over the weekend. You are? Yeah. Recreating our first weekend together. Oh.

Because I'm a romantic guy. Stop. But I noticed in the subway I pointed out to her that like it's kind of like some guy was wearing like, I wear a lot of converse and there was someone wearing commerce and there was someone wearing like these old retro rebocs and these, and it's just kind of fascinating to me how like tennis shoes

are very, very they stand the test of time and people are going back. Yeah, and everything's kind of retroactive. Like new balance? Yeah, like new balance you see a lot of those. Yeah. We have some. I try to wear them. 30 years ago we thought we'd be having like space shoes but everyone's like no.

We're just sticking with their playing all new balance. I don't know. Yeah. Mine is if you could teleport to anywhere on Earth, where would you go? Oh. Teleport. So you could go back in time. Right? That's not teleport.

No. You know. That's time traveling. You know. She's really smart. They cut that out. Teleport is, it's a superpower that I would pick. And so what's the most?

I would go to Asia because it's a very long flight. Because it's a biotch to get there. You couldn't teleport to like, I want to teleport to the first date we had. No? You couldn't do that even though it's in the past. You know what? I mean, we'll allow it. We'll go with it.

We'll allow it. Thank you, judges. I appreciate it. I was thinking like the top of the pyramids or something. Yeah. Oh, whoa. If you could teleport. Yeah.

Anywhere. You got to think of the most inconvenient place. Yeah, the flight thing, I think, really just stuck out to me. We just got back from London, and it was a long flight. The flight back is so much worse. Yeah. So probably somewhere, like, really far. Oh.

Thailand. I was going to say Australia. Biji, yeah, Australia. Yeah. So you'd have to fly over water for all those hours. Yeah, it's rough to get to. Pretty gone over that one. Wherever the most furthest, majestic place in the world is, I suppose that's what I would pick.

Yeah. Yeah. Antarctica. You want to go there? If I could teleport, I just kind of pop in. Check it out. Pop out. Yeah.

I don't know if I call it majestic, but maybe it is. In a way. I would teleport to Stagecoach, so I don't have to make the drive. The teleport. Home from Stagecoach. They teleport home from stagecoach. They do. They do.

I'm just a cheapo. But yeah. They have like Uber copter or something, right? Do they? What? So I think definitely too cheap for that though. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

That sounds terrifying. I just, I would not like to do that. Okay. So you know my dark navy pajama set that I've been wearing, the long sleeve with pants with a white lining on it. That's very cute. Yeah. That's so comfortable.

That's also hyper. You don't have to sell me on cozy earth. Talk to them. So if you guys haven't heard of Cozy Earth, they are one of our favorite brands. we have had bedding from them for gears. Bamboo? Bamboo. Organic bamboo?

This bedding is incredible, everyone. It's like the softest thing you're ever going to get into. But they also have women's loungewear. And I have this... Men's too. So sorry, they do have men's. The cutest long sleeve set that I've been wearing around the house that is so comfortable and so cozy. but it looks stylish too.

Oh, other stuff looks great. I just went on their Instagram like day before yesterday and found a couple things that I want to get. They have different hoodies and like joggers and it's made out of, you know, a similar material that they use to make their sheets, which are absolute heaven. Yeah. So, yeah, their clothes look awesome and are the most comfortable things. you'll ever wear. I guarantee it. Heck yeah. So Cozy Earth has provided an exclusive offer for our squeeze listeners today up to 35% off sitewide when you use the code the squeeze. So go ahead. Check out their website,

35% off using code the squeeze. Can I use that? Yeah, you can. Great. So something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's Mental Health Journey, journeys as individuals, and as a couple, has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral.

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Offer is only valid on monthly plans. Other exclusions may apply. C-Sight for details. Get going on that therapy. How was New York? It was lovely. It was the most magical thing. So I went home for the week to see my family.

Where's home? I lived in Savannah, Georgia. Okay. Great. So I'm originally from Auburn, Alabama, and then lived in Savannah for like the last eight years. So that's where I go back when I go home. But it's where I was living when Nick and I met. And so he was in New York visiting there for work.

When we met? And I flew up to meet him. So we like recreated that weekend. Wow. It was all him. I'll give him all the credit. But he just like texted me. He was like, I have a surprise for you.

I'm like, he's like, I want you to get. I'm like, what is going on? And so I'm trying to guess all these things. I'm like, dinner. Our first guess was dinner underneath the Statue of Liberty. And I was like, wow. But like, no. But I don't even want to do that.

I'm not quite sure why. I was like, I was like, yeah. That's funny. Wow. Should we? Why do we have to get on a fairy now? Oh my gosh. It was really cute.

He like, came, like, stood in the same spot that he was standing in when I first walked into the hotel. You really recreated it. Okay, so it wasn't just go back to New York. I want all these details now because it sounds like the sweetest amount. Well, I got the idea because she was in Savannah and that was the big thing to like meet there. Okay. I was staying at the Williamsburg Hotel when we first met and that's been a place.

We've revisited multiple times. We just kind of like it. It is nostalgic for us. That's so sweet. And so yeah, when I got there, when we first met, I was, you know, I went down and waited for her. outside the elevator and she walked up and we met there

and so I made sure I was standing there when she got in and then we visit the place we first went to dinner and then we also kind of added in other elements to other weekends because we would go back to New York a lot

so we went to Peter Lugers which wasn't something we visited on our first day but it was a memorable dinner experience because when we first went there, that was when she, like, first said she had feelings for me, said she wanted to be in a relationship, and I turned her down. But it was also, it was memorable.

Did you really? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. So many times. So many times. And, like, it was like, I like, I like you. I would love to date you. And he's like, no.

I'm like, okay. Were you like not in the mood to date? I was very, I was fairly self-conscious about our, you know, she was, we were long distance, you know, the age, age guess. at the time I was very self-conscious about and, you know, I just wasn't sure. You know, I wanted to get to know her better. And so at the time, I was, yeah, I was, I was pretty guarded. Yeah.

So it's pretty nuts to be sitting at the restaurant talking about our wedding at the place that he, like, first rejected me. So funny. Yeah, we got the same table, too. Stop. It was pretty nuts. Oh, my gosh. Wow, that's a full circle moment.

That's awesome. That's so sweet. Are you guys, like, close to the same age? 24. 26. I just turned 26. Gosh. Okay.

Besties. There we go. Well, you're like, yeah, is close. Almost quarter of a century. Yeah. Almost there. It doesn't go up from here. Just kidding.

Great. I really panicked when I turned 25. That's the hardest birth they've ever had. I think, I feel like all my birthdays are going to be decent because he's five years older than me. So, like, I feel like he has to get through, like, the birthday first and I see it's like not that bad. Like when you turned 30, I feel like that was your best birthday. Like that was like, I was excited about 30. Yeah, I enjoyed 30. Yeah, everybody was like, you freaking out. Like this is going to suck. I'm like, no, actually 30 I'm excited about. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like

that was like your best year. So. Thank you. I feel like as I'm like, you're welcome. I feel like as I'm like, oh, Taylor did it. It's not that scary. Yeah. There you go. I'm testing the waters for you. Yeah. I did want to say, because I remember when you guys first started a day, and I don't keep up in the news. I'm so bad at it. But the one thing I do remember is it was like, Nick's dating a surgical tech. And I was like, yes for the medical field people.

Like, she's a jab. We should have known then. Yeah. She was going to work out because medical field. She loves it. She's. Yeah, I do. I don't know if I, I mean, never say never,

but I just don't see myself giving it up. It's such like I look forward to it. I love, I've definitely cut back on how much I'm there just because I'm busy with so many other things. But it's, I truly love it. Yeah. What, like, specialty are you? And for, right now I'm with an ocular facial plastic surgeon, so it's a lot of eyes. Oh, whoa.

He's like the best eye guy, probably in the world. People fly all over to come and see him. Wow. He's really, it's all celebrities go to him. A pretty good, pretty good client list. She has some good stories. Oh, my gosh. Dang.

So it's been pretty crazy. How long have you been doing that? Four-ish years, maybe. Oh, cool. Yeah. And did you start that out here? Were you still back at home? No, I was doing that in Georgia.

Okay. I worked for a reconstructive plastic surgeon, so it was a lot of intense, like, gunshot wounds, car crashes. Yeah. A lot of breast cancer stuff. Oh, wow. It was very intense. And then when I moved out here, I kind of stuck with the plastic surgery just because it's what I knew. And then it was all, like, tummy tucks and stuff.

BBLs and boob jobs. And I was like, I kind of want to get into something that like. Yeah. So the eyes has been a lot of fun. And I really like it. That's so cool. Yeah, I feel like that's like everything out here. When I graduated in nursing school, that was like the first thing I started doing.

But I graduated like or I started working right before the pandemic hit. But so then all of those closed. And then I was like, well, I'm guessing. Yeah. I guess you're hopping into the hospital. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She literally started in the hospital. Was it just before or just after? It was after. No, I started like some- Six months into COVID. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So I missed out on like the scary. Like there's no PPE, but I got like the, we have way too many patients flu season. So pick your poison with that one. But I'd love to know what your first impressions of each other were. Going back to this New York thing, because I think this is so interesting that you were like, no, we're not dating.

Yeah, I was going to say, sounds like Nick's was get away from me. I definitely found her attractive. There was that. She was very quiet. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I think I was probably, I mean, I'll let her tell.

But she was quiet. Nick was mute. I did not speak. I was like, quiet dinner. Well, you know, again, she slitted in my DMs. We messaged for a couple weeks. And then we just like both met up in New York. And, you know, I think we were both a little like thinking the other person was

a little crazy. Interesting. You know, for, yeah. It's like, why, is it safe for you to meet me? You know? My gosh. Yeah, the first time you met was that New York. Yeah, we like, it was one of those things where she was like, I got some friends in New York, you know.

And we kind of both knew that we'd end up just like spending the weekend together. Yeah. But, you know, like good friends of ours who we saw, again, saw this weekend to kind of recreate the weekend. I was just like, hey, I got this girl's staying with me. Like, we got to hang out because I don't, I don't know how it's going to go. So I think we were both pretty guarded. And yeah, and then she, like, shared some stories about her family at dinner. And, like, she, Natalie moved to New York, what, 16?

15. 15. Oh, wow. To model. And so she told me that story. And I was like, who is this person? I was like, oh, my God. But as the week went on, I remember. you know, just being kind of caught off guard by how much I really, really liked her.

And I remember talking to our friends about her because we went to Central Park and we were playing Frisbee. And Natalie was like 30 feet away. And I was talking to my friend Charlene about her. And I just remember thinking she was really great. And I wasn't expecting that. It was just more of a, to be honest, kind of a hookup weekend. Yeah. And I guess my after the first weekend, my first impression was just how easy and fun she was to be around.

Because like spending a whole weekend with someone you don't really know, it can go south. That sounds so fine. Yeah. And I had the same group of friends like years earlier. I was seeing a girl and it was early on when I saw her and she was in New York. and I was in New York, my friends were in New York, so we all went out. And like an hour and they're like, we fucking hate her. Oh, my gosh.

And then as the night went on, I was like, yeah, she is kind of obnoxious. And I literally never hung out with her again after that night. So they were a big barometer and they loved her. So, yeah. They got to see the difference. We love friends like that. That's awesome. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. So. Nick was mute. Nick did not speak. It was a lot of, like, I think he just didn't know who. I was, didn't know really like how much does he really want to open up and I think we were both kind of on the same and I'm a

chameleon I feel like so I just match people's energy. Yeah. So I very much matched his and just was very chill. And uh, but I knew I guess after that weekend I was like I am going to spend the rest of my life

with this man and I knew it and he didn't. So I was like I'm just going to hang on because I know he'll come around. And so I asked him several times today. It was my quiet confidence. I guess. Wait, this is a crazy story. It's really crazy. So for like nine or ten months, we went through this period of like where I was coming to visit him. That's wild. It's a long time. A long time. Several times throughout that. I think it's like the second time, the second or third time. Because like the first time we met New York and then like she'd actually

didn't remember that because we went back to Central, again, Central Parks this weekend, like re-creant the weekend. And we went the afternoon. I distinctly remember walking from Central Park to head back to Brooklyn, like we did that first weekend. And I remember, and Natalie didn't remember that, but we were walking in. I remember Natalie was just like, so, like, this is, like, totally cool if, like, if I never see you again kind of energy. But, like, it was kind of her pitch to keep hanging out. Got it. She was playing the whole, like, I don't give a shit of energy. It's fine. like it is what it is. Yeah.

But I'd be okay if we did. But I would be okay with it. And I kind of remember me like, I was very non-committal. You know, I just was very guarded. But then I went back to L.A. and like I think every time we'd hang out the first couple weekends, there'd be like a day we didn't talk, maybe two days. And then one of us would message the other person. And then like a week would go by.

And then I'd be like, do you want to come out to L.A.? And then like the second time she came. out. I was driving her back to the airport and she's like, this will be the last time I'm coming out. You know, because she was trying to like, you know, advance her. And I was like, okay. You know, I wouldn't give her anything. And but then like a couple days later, I would like message her. You know, we would. Oh my gosh. We would keep kind of doing that pattern. Yeah. Fighting yourself. Yes. We were very addicted, I think, to each other. I mean, we, I mean, in those nine months, we were living long distance.

and we, you know, we weren't exclusive. We were dating other people and pretty open about that. But we, I don't think we went more than a few days ever not talking to each other. Wow. And that's without ever like, that's without like any expectations. It's not like, oh, we're going to talk now. You know, it's just like, well, we should talk and I'll call you. It just, it just was very organic.

Yeah, there was a chemistry there that it was just like a natural thing for you guys. tried not to hang out with each other. That didn't go well. Clearly didn't work. You actually asked us this question when we were on your podcast, and I thought it was such a good question. Was there like a red flag at first that popped up that was either like something in the other person or something that you felt as like maybe it was like a red flag from like an insecurity

you've had from like a past relationship that like popped up when you guys like first started dating? I guess first started dating is over. for a very long period of time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, probably just...

Was the show Red Flag? Did you know about the show? So I found out about the show that weekend with our friends Charlene and Andy. Oh, wow. I asked her how they met and she was like, oh, we're kind of all in the same show. That weekend in New York? In New York. So you had been talking to him before this and you didn't know.

He had been stopped that weekend by like several things. fans. And I'm like, what? What is that? What is that? What? Oh, my God. And he was like, oh, I have a podcast. I'm like, okay. Okay. Which, you know, I don't, I don't know how you answer those types of questions. It was just like, you know, I was tired of being like I was on a bachelor.

And I honestly was just like, when I get asked those questions, I was like, sure, you don't know. Like, okay, you know. Yeah. Did you know, I mean, I guess the age gap can be your red flag. Did you learn about it that weekend or did you know that going into it? to the weekend. Learn about what? The age.

Oh, no. So I knew about it. When she first DM me, we started messaging. And then she's like, I carded at her. He was like, I want to see your ID.

Stop. That's smart. Because I think there's catfish people out there. I don't fuck around. Yeah. And so I, she's, I,

she, we exchanged snaps and then on Snapchat, you could call, you can video chat. Okay. So I call. her and I had my camera face in the ceiling so she couldn't even

see me. Because I've had people like screenshot and yeah. Do weird shit and I'm like, show me your ID. Because I just wanted to make sure she was a real person and yeah. So I knew how she was. Smart. Okay. That's very smart. Yeah. Tell her some of our

friends to do that. I probably thought that was a red flag. I mean, I definitely was just like, what is going like, can I say hello first? You're like, I don't know. Oh my God. honestly, your persistence and like... It's commendable. Very commendable.

She's a very determined person. But, yeah, the age for me was something I was self-conscious about, but there were no immediate red... I mean, again, yeah, I think I was so self-conscious about that, that quite honestly, she made it very difficult to... You know, because I was like... In fact, on that walk home, I was like, we'll never date. You know, like, just...

get it out of your head, you know. Oh my gosh. What a charmer. She made it really difficult for me to enforce that boundary, so to speak. Oh my gosh. It was quite the opposite.

I was more, she was full of green flags. That's a good, that's a good answer. Love stories, man. They all got their own beginning and I like that one. Thanks.

That's the first one. I'm tickled. So once you like guys being an official, you've like obviously learned that he was like very much in the public eye. I don't know like if that's something that you come from. But for me when we first started dating, that was like, no, I was just a normal person. So that was like a very large adjustment. I mean, even to the day still is. For me, what was that like for you and for you guys together?

with that? Honestly, kind of terrifying. I mean, I think I, we want, I just wanted to like push this, like, you know, sharing with the world as much as we could. Yeah. So I'm like, I just don't know if I'm ready to have a third party in our relationship and like everyone's opinions and. So you were wanting to hold back on it? Yeah. I was like, let's keep this just us. And we were actually outed. And then there was paparazzi outside of our house, like caught us walking. And then it was this whole thing. So it was out there. But it was definitely intimidating. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah.

Well, that's what I was just about to say is saying, you know, I'm very lucky that, like, Taylor's fans are just like, they're so loving and they're so kind. So, like, when we started dating, like, I didn't get any backlash. But, you know, the fans of, like, reality TV. and those types of people can definitely be... They can be critical at times. It can be a little less forgiving. But overall, I think it's been a generally positive experience. I mean, but there's pockets of people who look for things.

It's definitely weird to have, like, I'm sure you can relate to this, have so many people give you their opinion. I mean, I just went, I mean, I would post and go about my day and didn't really care. And now it's like, oh my God, wait, your feelings are hurt? Like, what are you talking about? I just posted like a picture of my morning coffee. Like, how did I hurt your feelings? And now you just have to think of so much, so many other people's opinions.

And it's been overwhelming. Yeah. We tried holding that back for as long as possible to. Because, yeah, as soon as you open it up and welcome the third party, it's just, it changed. Yeah, it's like by the time, I think we had a pretty good connection with each other before we opened that door, so to speak, because it can, it has its challenges. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think we went like, good, like, 10 months before. Yeah, about 9, 10 months.

Was there a time where, like, after we were public where you thought like, like, holy shit, this is, this might suck? Was it, like, do you remember your first real negative experience? probably just like the rush of DMs of like mean comments about you know I'm a child bride and I'm you know just terrible terrible things people would call me but I don't think I mean I think we navigated it fairly well and you you you taught me to not I'm pretty good at ignoring things yeah yeah yeah yeah he gave me a lot of advice on that which how But there's definitely like speed bumps with it, like being public and like definitely affected our mental health. Do you feel like it like had an effect on the mental health as you guys together if it was like individually or were you just kind of able to drown it out? I don't know. I'm, I've just recently started therapy, which has been a complete like life altering experience for me. I've learned so much just a.

about, you know, the way I process things, the way I value people in my life. And I think the most important thing is probably just how learning how my brain works. Yeah. I'm in a specific therapy called EMDR. Oh, my gosh. We've been wanting to do that. Oh, it's insane. Oh, wow.

It's so insane. Wait, what is it exactly? Yeah, it's for people who've experienced any sort of trauma. It stands for eye movement desensitization. in reprocessing. So basically through bilateral vibrations in your hands, you hold these things that vibrate. It stimulates your brain.

And then you have a licensed professional kind of guide you. And so you're able to revisit trauma, desensitize yourself from it, and then reprocess it in a way that's like watching a TV show. So it's been totally insane for me. for a long time, I am like a compartmentalizer, I think. And for people who don't compartmentalize, I think it's hard for them to understand. Nick is not a compartmentalizer. But for me, it was like putting every bad, traumatic, terrible thing that has happened to me, I would just put it in a box in my brain and live outside of it. And I was like, everything in that box is a lot.

Like none of that happened to me. It was all a nightmare. And I honestly survived that way. Yeah. And I knew it wasn't healthy. But if I didn't go about it that way, trigger warning, I think I probably would have taken my life. Wow. And but now I'm in a place where I'm able to look at everything that's happened to me and accept it for what it is and acknowledge that I've survived.

that I've survived and like I'm okay. And it's it's changed my life truly. And I think also just finding resources in a way that I never had any before. So I just lived with all of that constantly. And I think having a place to put all of your negative thoughts or trauma or anything, whether it's like journaling or having some sort of resource has just helped tremendously. So I like give that to anyone if they ever need help. Just like getting it out of your body, writing it down, you can burn it. You can rip it up, whatever you want to do. But just getting it out of your body, I think is so important. For sure. Wow. Well, it's been really crazy. Thank you. That's like, I mean, I feel like any type of therapy is a big step, but I definitely

I feel like EMDR therapy is like, it just sounds intense. And you're like, what the frick is this? But that is so awesome. And for people that do, which I think both of us do, I know I do, for people that do just push things down and don't, you know, don't talk about it, don't know how to. Like sometimes that's me. I'm like, yeah, I'll talk about it.

But like, I don't, how? Like, I don't know what to do. Show me the steps. And yeah, that seems really. helpful. It's also like such a big part of it is learning how your brain works, which like there's so many parts to your brain. Yeah. But what I've learned specifically is that there's the cognitive part of your brain, which is all your decision making. It's yes, no, right, wrong. And then you have your, and then you have, yeah, yeah. And then you have your, he's listening.

And then you have your brain stem and like your reptilian brain. And that's where all of your trauma is stored. And so when you're triggered and you like enter fighter flight, that part of your brain takes over. And like your cognitive brain shuts down. Yeah. And so that's why you just, like you're not making rational decisions. It's kind of like when you see like an adult act, like throw like a temper tantrum. It's like they're, they're literally kind of going to their child like state. Yeah. You know, really almost, and it's, it's not like they're acting like a child. they're actually being their child self. It's kind of fascinating to like understand.

Yeah. Was there like a point that you hit that you were like, I think I need to start going to therapy because there was like a big moment for me that I was like, I'm unwell. Like I couldn't remember my brain like I have severe PTSD from working in COVID. I worked as a COVID nurse and I like would dissociate like it was nobody's business. like so bad. And I couldn't remember like there's this restaurant that we've been to multiple times. It's right around the corner. Like drive past it all the time, whatever. Taylor was like,

you want to go there for dinner? And he like texted me the name. I'm reading the name on my phone. I'm like, I know I've been here. I can't remember what this place is if I've been there, but I know I've been there. What kind of food it is? Like I couldn't remember anything about it. And like I called Chase. Which was just like bizarre. Like before understanding it in the moment, I was like, Are you okay? And like before like COVID, I would like pride myself on my memory. Like I like am like I remember everything. Like I know where the sock is and the third door on the left side.

Like that is like my thing. And like I cannot remember this restaurant that we've been to. And I like that was my like breaking point where it had happened so many times and like my brain just literally like nothing was working. Yeah. And it honestly scared me. I was like this is like not good. Like I need I need help. Like really getting to.

point here where like this is going to get unsafe here soon. Yeah. Yeah. So was there a moment that you remember that you're like, yeah, I got to do something. Yeah. I kind of had all of these past traumas resurface all at once and it honestly kind of like exploded my life. Yeah. That was when I was like and I had tried therapy before actually. Nick encouraged me. Um, and it, It was terrifying. I, like, had no idea how to go about it. I Google, like, therapist near me. It's someone online. I don't know what I'm doing. I get on this phone with this random person. And we have two sessions, a second session. I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'm going to tell you everything I've been through. I don't know if it works like this. And I, I, it's the first time I've ever talked about this. But I was, I was just, you know, I was just, you. raped at 10 years old. And when I told that therapist this, she was like, well, why do you think he chose you? Like, why do you think out of all the kids, like, he picked you? I was like, holy fuck. Like, I don't know. And it terrified me. And I was like, I don't ever want to talk to

anyone about this ever again. Like, so now I think having all of this stuff resurfaced and all like slap me in the face, which I guess I always knew at some point it would. I was like, I know this isn't compartmentalizing and telling myself it's a lie and it never happened. Like, I know this isn't healthy and I know I shouldn't do this, but like I'm surviving. Yeah. And I think it all hitting a wall and blowing up in my face, I was like, that is exactly what I needed. And I immediately got into therapy after that. And it's been such a whirlwind ever since. That's incredible. Yeah. It's been really crazy. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I'm a person that is overly optimistic. And I think your story and just like the human that you are, why am I getting emotional? But just like your story is going to, you know, encourage so many people that have gone through that or something similar and knowing that, you know, like I went through this part of my life early on and I've blocked it out for so long. And I'm,

realizing time and time again that this is not, it's not healthy for me. And, you know, getting help is such a big step. It's literally the biggest step in my opinion, is getting help because you're finally addressing like those things that are in the scary closet and you don't want to open that door up. So I just commend you for that because that, that is a really big step. And I think that, you know, your story is definitely going to help a lot of women because there's a lot of women and men out there, you know, that. have a similar story, you know, and to help them not feel as alone. Yeah.

Do you feel this has been a big thing for us as a couple when I was going through my nursing stuff and was working night shifts or in COVID, whatever, I started to dissociate really bad. And Taylor, like, didn't know how to, like, address it, I guess, towards me. Like, he, he was taking it personally. like he was trying to love me more and he was thinking like I didn't love him or that he wasn't loving me well enough because of what I was going through and what like you just couldn't help me. Yeah, we talked about this with Nick. And him like realizing that he can't do anything, you know, like he can support me, be there for me. What has that journey been like for you guys as a couple? We started couples therapy right when she started her therapy.

Oh, that's awesome. kind of for that reason. Yeah. I've been in therapy for a while. I started therapy shortly after COVID started. Okay. Not because I was, it was different for me.

I felt like my mental health was generally solid, but, you know, the things I talk about on my show and mental health, I'm always advocating for therapy, and I do struggle with anxiety. So I was like, you know what?

Why am I not in it, you know, that kind of thing. And it's been really helpful for me. And I was seeing her, every week and then kind of at times I would taper back to every other week and or pick back up when I needed and then so when she got into it we started a couple's therapy and you know we had just gotten engaged so it was just kind of like kind of a very similar to when I started therapy it was just like you know this this can only be helpful yeah there were you know certainly you know

times where I think it created a disconnect between us. And as much as I might be aware of, you know, certain things in the mental health field through having the ability to talk to certain people and learn and educate myself, but when you're involved and when you're in it, it's a very different thing to process. And it's barely truly been a blessing. I mean, you know, for us, it's I think every time we leave, there's like a high. You know, that we feel more connected. And I think that's been

the biggest benefit for us is that you know, a couple of therapy. And that, you know, it's one of those things I'm really glad we did because you know, for all the people I talk to in relationships, it's like people are always looking for, it's like they wait until you require reconstructive surgery rather than like, you know, therapy's best served when it's like used

as like a safety belt or a bicycle helmet rather. But it just, it helps us stay connected. And I think we use that word connected a lot in our relationships since couple's therapy where we might, you know, instead of one of us saying, why are you doing that?

Like why, you know, why are you being distant to me or why are you being cold or whatever? You know, we'll say, I'm just not feeling, I'm not feeling us connect right now. It's in, we're using, you know, like more we and us language and things like that. But just with using the word connected, it's like, it's like you can almost visualize what that means, you know?

And so, like holding hands for, for example, like we always were handholders, but now we're huge handholders, you know, like when we're walking and, or one of us is stressed out, the other person will be quick to reach out and grab the other person's hand. And it's just a very kind of literal soothing kind of sensation. Yeah. And it's really, again, just helped us stay focused on, you know, the goal is to stay connected. You know, that is kind of our relationship goal, you know.

As individuals trying to be in a healthy relationship, our goal is to always try to stay as connected as possible. And whether we're on a high or a low, We're just trying to stay connected and then support the other person through that. So, and obviously, a couple therapy has allowed me to better understand, you know, her, you know, carburementalizing things. Yeah. Because that's definitely, it's, you know, it can be a mind fuck for someone who, you know, I've been fortunate enough that, well, you know, everyone has their version of trauma. I've, I haven't experienced. I've had a very blessed childhood and, you know, very privileged childhood.

and I've been very fortunate on to not deal with some of the horrific things that have happened to her. And so we kind of go about processing things a little differently, and so that's helped me out a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel that same way.

That sometimes, sometimes I feel like insecure about that because I feel the same way that, you know, growing up I was very blessed and, you know, thankful for the life that, you know, just the way that I grew up. and just have never really experienced extreme trauma like that. And sometimes I feel like guilty for not being able to like, you're like, just not being able to do enough or the, you know, the other person.

It's like, I feel like all I can do is like listen and be there. And I have to tell myself like that's, you know, sometimes. I know as guys who struggle with this, the just listening part. Yeah. I have. It's like, I should do something too. The fixers. I've learned that listening is a value ad.

Yeah. I still have to be reminded of it. Yeah. I'm very excited to ask you this question, Nick. Everybody and their brother is starting a podcast, right? Yeah. Look at us. Even us.

You have a podcast. It's doing all right. It's been okay. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. It's currently number one in news and society. It's number. It was this morning.

it was three overall in the world and number one in society and culture So it's doing okay Oprah's trying to hunt you down Other than you just being magnificent What do you think it is About your show That has just taken off

And what do you think the secret juice is? Well one, I love it Yeah, you know, passion. Yeah, wow. And I just love doing it. When I first started doing it, I didn't do it for the money. I wasn't really making much money for the first couple months. So I think that's important for anything you do.

You have to really love it because there is a lot of work involved in anything, you know, to do anything great, you know, and to be successful at something, you know, at the highest levels, it takes a lot of work. And if you don't have a passion for it, chances are you're going to, you know, It's not really for me. So that's number one. And then I think, you know, it's beneficial. I think the things that we talk about on our show resonate with a large group of people.

I love talking about relationships and dating and social dynamics. Love is a very universal language, regardless of your sexual identity orientation, your race, ethnicity, age. Love is something we all kind of struggle with, connect with, identify with. look for. And so, and then pop culture. And, you know, I've, you know, with my time on The Bachelor, I've been able to marry kind of my interest in both pop culture and relationships and dating. And, you know, it's throughout the time I've had my show, we've, I'm always, you know,

I also, I never get, I never settle in a sense. We've always been relatively successful, but there have been peaks and values in the show. And I think a good time to work extra hard is when my actually my manager articulated this, but well, so I'm stealing it from him. But I truly believe in this and have been implemented this for a long time. But the two great times that work extra hard is when things are either going really good or really bad. Yeah. You know, and specifically when things are going really good is a time where I've always tried to double down. Yeah, not just sit down.

And so I'm always, I see the competition out there. And I'm always, how do we keep it fresh? How do we keep it current? And so we just made adjustments to try to, you know, integrate the things that our core audience wants to listen to. Like, you know, our core audience loves to listen to various experts. Yeah. And we've had a bunch of different experts.

We've had a professor from Harvard who teaches a class on the Science of Happy. and we had them in on. It was very fascinating. We've had, you know, different therapists. We've had a dream expert on and things like that. But then we'd realize that, like, well, people really love those conversations. They didn't necessarily pop the way you wanted them to. Because it would, your core audience would listen to it. And plus, every other podcast has a lot of experts. It's kind of a go-to podcast move. And so then I kind of had the thought, well, well, we need to adjust a little bit. You know, I don't. want to lose having experts, but I want to make sure we're keeping, we're talking about the most

relevant things, you know. And so, for example, when the Johnny Depp and Amber Her trial was going on, that was a, you know, a topic we covered a lot, you know, again, relationships and dating, culture, perfect match. And then we also had, you know, the body language expert that was, you know, in the courtroom. We had her on. And so that's why we would still have the experts while still talking about topical relevant things. And so I've just been, you know, trying to stay current, you know, try to have relevant guests. And then I said the last thing is just also just kind of understanding my strengths

and weaknesses. And, you know, as someone who has come from, you know, reality TV or bachelor nation, I think every reality TV person has a level of, you know, they want to separate themselves a little bit. Yeah. They want to elevate themselves. always said like going on reality TV gives you access but not credibility so you know you want to get credibility so you want to get the big names you want to get the Taylor latiners on your podcast you know

and get that credibility and that's and that's really great but i've also leaned in to lean in and accepted that like people know me from reality tv you know i i i have a lot of credibility in that space at least and so were early on in my career podcast career i was a little more choosy with certain guest. I mean, I'm always choosy with guests. But now I've really embraced and I like to think that our show has, you know, we worked hard to become a destination for some of

the bigger like interviews in the reality TV dating space. Whether it's a big bashergat or love is blind or Vanderpump or or things like that, I've learned to accept that like maybe I should lean into this rather than try to run from it. And I think that's been really

successful for the show. Yeah. That's so awesome. I mean, I feel like you've really hit that nail on the head because every time there's like, I mean, it literally just happened like with the love is blind thing.

One day I saw that it was like all like, all this drama happened and I literally said to myself, next having someone on tomorrow. Sure enough, you had a martial order, whatever it was. And I was like, yep,

I do, like I expect it now. And I'm not even like in, I don't even really do reality stuff. I mean, Taylor does so I associate it with it. But like, even me,

like I know it's coming. Yeah. It's been great. Great. And I think, yeah, I've had to be okay with being the guy who gets the big reality TV gets rather than, you know. Yeah, look where I got you. I'm not Oprah, you know, and that's okay, you know. You're the Oprah of reality. Yeah. And so, you know, and I still like, I've had, it's been great to, I mean, for where I come from, you know, literally having Taylor and you guys and you on. Billy Eichner and I've gotten to become kind of quasi friends with Justin Long through a podcast.

Someone I always been a fan of his work. So I've been very fortunate to have some really notable guests. But it's been a mix and that's been fun. Yeah. I love that. I don't think it's a coincidence that you're doing so well. I believe the difference between good and great is this much. And I think your passion and your work ethic is what makes you great at what you do. He's the hardest worker. I mean, I felt that. I literally when we went to record and you were telling us how much you were like taping. We're like, are you going home after this?

You're like, no, we're doing this and we got this. And we got this. Then we have this tomorrow and then this tonight. I was like, the frick. Yeah, no, I've turned into a full-time job. It's like, you know, I have a nice team and and we have an office. And, you know, like after we got engaged, I was telling now, it's just like, I'm going to be at the office a lot

because I want to create like a, culture in the office. And so it's important that I'm there. And so I'm, you know, I came from kind of a corporatey America. And so, yeah, I don't just treat it like I'm the talent who shows up and record. I'm trying to be more of a mentor and a boss to the people who work for me. And it's a lot of fun. I mean, I used to be an accountant. It's so much better. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. So do you hire an accountant or do you do you run taxes? He's terrible. I wish he would do my time. He won't. I was like, no.

He also used to work at all Garden. I did. Ooh. Those bread sticks. Endless breadsticks. Tuscama soup. Pasta,

Bajoule. What an interesting word that is. Fajul. Do you want to do 1111 or a few questions in there? What do you want to? Yeah. Do you want to pluck a couple of favorites from it? We usually end with a segment called Lemon 11.

Has 11 random questions. But we can just choose some of our. favorites from it. This is my favorite question from the Lemon 11 but it is, what is the most misunderstood thing about you? That I'm nice. He's not a dip. Probably.

That's funny. I'm a tall and aloof and I've learned that has allowed some people to think I can be a bit dickish. Yeah. But I'm not. Yeah.

You seem nice. Just I have a hard candy shell on the outside. There we go. That's a good answer. Probably just that I have a personality. I kind of struggle with showing that on social media sometimes. I feel like a lot of people are just like, God, she's just whatever. And so I think a lot of people would be shocked to know that I do in fact.

Now he has more personality than... I have the personality for both of us. Yeah, great. If you could go back to any moment, what moment would that be in your life and what would you say to yourself? This is time travel. This is now.

Right. I'm here. I'm here. So if you can teleport to any moment in your life. Okay. I'm like, Asia? I was thinking about my answer. I was thinking about my answer.

I have so many. Oh, my God. The first one came to mind is I wouldn't, I wouldn't quit baseball my senior year. Hmm. Okay. You played competitively? Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty good.

But I at that point got a track scholarship. Nick was like an all-star athlete. It's a state champion in track. Natalie loves to embarrass me by meeting people. And she's like, he was a state champion in high school. No one cares about track and field or high school. Wait, I care. Thank you.

What did you do? $400 and $800. Oh, wow. The long runs? The long sprint. And the eight is, yeah. They're brutal. I don't do any of those.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember the last time I ran, to be quite honest with you. So, yeah, I'm not. We're going to get along great. Yep, neither do I. Perfect. You know, it's tough because usually you think about those things and then you think of, you know, how could I avoid something bad that happened to me? Right.

But I am old enough that I really value my tragedies. Yeah. You know, I really, I really do. I've always, I've so far, have survived them all and I'm better for all of them, you know. it takes time, you know, to move on and heal from those things. Yeah. But I really have. So I don't think I would, I don't think I would stop myself from avoiding any heartbreak or disappointment that I have experienced as a result. So I think it would just be some of those things where, you know, like, you know, I wish I would have gone out for football. You know, I didn't play football. And like things that were, I think, you know, I, you know, I would.

would have taken probably more risks and more chances when I was younger because I wasn't much of a risk taker until I was an adult. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, it is those tough times that shape you and, you know, make you who you are here today. Yeah. I would probably just appreciate things more. Yeah. And like not be such a bitch to my mom. You know, like, really regret that. I tell her all the time. We are sitting at brunch a few weeks ago. ago when there was a girl who looked way too old to be speaking to her mom the way she was. But she was so weird. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. That's right. And I was like, oh, so I texted my mom. And I was like, I'm sorry if I was ever a brat to you or like said, I hated you. I didn't mean it. I love you. Yeah. This girl was so, it was an adult woman.

She, maybe college. Yeah. But she was being so mean. Oh, God. Jesus. And her mom was just like trying to be nice. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you and your mom got through that.

Thank you. Thank you. Perfect. Well, thank you guys. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having us. A lot of fun. Appreciate it.

We'll chat with you. Yeah. Woo. Love it. Once again, huge massive thank you to Nick and Natalie for coming on to the squeeze and talking with us about all things. They're just both a joy to be around, like you said. And yeah, that was a heavy. episode. We once again are so thankful that Natalie felt comfortable enough to talk about that,

but we want to make sure, you know, we can do anything we can to help anyone that has gone through a similar situation. So I know we are going to provide. Yeah, we're going to leave some resources. Also, some therapy resources for anyone that is looking to get into that. You know, you guys have heard us talk about how highly we recommend therapy. So I definitely think that would be a great resource as well. And just to know that, you know, if you're listening, you are not alone. Know that we love you. You are so loved. And there is help out there. And we are proud of you for living another day. And just, yeah, we're just so thankful to, you know, have you on here. It's well said. You are not alone. Even when you truly, truly believe that you are, it's, you know, it's tough sometimes, but trust us. You're not. And, uh, yeah, there's, there's help out there and each day will get better.

We love you guys. That's a journey. We're on our own journeys. We're thankful that we get to share our journey with you. Is that your kiss goodbye? Yeah, I just want to hug everyone. Okay. Why don't you hug everyone? I'm hugging you all in the comment section right now. That's what I'm doing. All right.

We love you, lemon drops. We'll see you next week. Yes. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.