The Squeeze - Nikki Reed: The Power of Purpose Pt. 1

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

In this week’s episode, Tay and Taylor are joined by actress, entrepreneur, and sustainability advocate Nikki Reed — marking the first time The Squeeze has ever welcomed someone from the Twilight franchise! Nikki and Taylor reminisce on how they first met, share memories from filming, and look back on what it was really like to be part of a cultural phenomenon. Nikki reveals how she first heard about the movie, what ultimately made her want to join, and the moment she realized Twilight was about to take over the world. She then opens up about stepping away from acting to focus on wellness, family, and sustainability — all rooted in her drive to live a mission-based life. Nikki and Taylor get candid about mental health during the height of fame, the pressures that came with it, and the lessons they’ve both learned since. Come back next week for part two, where Nikki shares how she prioritizes time for herself and her family, the role therapy plays in her life, why she co-founded The Absorption Company, and more!Be sure to follow Nikki https://instagram.com/nikkireed/!Check out The Absorption Company and use code SQUEEZE15 for an additional 15% off first subscription orders! https://www.absorbmore.com/To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:The RealReal is the world’s largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. With thousands of pre-loved luxury arrivals daily, no one does resale like The RealReal—and no one makes the holidays shine brighter than The RealReal. And now, get $25 off your first purchase when you go to TheRealReal.com/squeeze.Go to square.com/go/squeeze to learn more, but before you do, go support your favorite neighborhood spot. You’ll be happy you did.Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.comDon’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code SQUEEZE at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.Right now LMNT is offering a free 8-count Sample Pack of their most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase. This is a great way to find your favorite LMNT flavor, or share with a friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/Squeeze.Complete your fall look. Go to thrivecausemetics.com/THESQUEEZE for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nikki, thank you for being here and welcome to the squeeze. We have not had anybody from the franchise on. If we ever were to have the first person on, I always wanted it to be you. A very interesting thing about playing a character for so long is that people can't disassociate you from that. People come up to me and say things like, oh my gosh, you smile. And I'm like, you know, like me in person,

aka choose wisely. The moments that I remember with you, they're personal. I was remembering you doing backflips off my couch, like nonstop. Sounds accurate. This is, again, like we got to dig into it. I just forget so much at that time of my life. It was a very potent period. Did your mental health have any impact during chaos?

of everything. The human psyche is not meant for extreme level of attention. Putting my full identity into that career that was going on for me at that moment. The amount of pressure that was put on you to be a certain way and look a certain way. How could you not do that? You had the entire world telling you who you were, watching that boy grow into who you are now. That could have taken a very, very different turn for you. I don't know if I've ever told this story. I imagine that you guys got married and you very quickly realized that she is a wealth of knowledge and stories and whoever is not sitting on the podcast with you to hear those is really missing out. No, truly, I was actually really excited about that. I wanted to give you a hug and see you, of course, and have this little moment to reconnect because in this life that we're all living where everyone's going a mile a minute, you blink and a decade has gone by and you realize you haven't seen someone.

So I wanted to snuggle. But I really wanted to talk to you and meet you because I think this whole union is so cool. And, you know, like kind of growing up with someone isish. I mean, in a way, we kind of did. I mean, we went through a lot of times. Yeah, super informative or formative and informative time in yours. It's nice to see where people end up and who they end up with. realize that you guys hadn't met.

No. I feel like we've talked about it and it just has never happened, but I kind of forgot that it never happened. But I feel like we have, because, you know, I'm a fan and I listen to your podcast and your wisdom and I feel like I know you. Yeah, exactly. 12-year-old me is excited. Okay. Nikki, thank you for.

being here and welcome to the squeeze. Thanks for having me. People have been, I'm sure you can imagine asking for an episode like this for a long time. Have they? Oh, yes. I hope I don't let anybody down. Hope I get my mic clap. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of giggling in this episode.

So I'll try to keep it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have not had anybody from the franchise on. Oh, how special. Yeah. That's so nice. And I always, and I want it, I've always wanted, this is our third year. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, wrapping up our third year. And I don't know. It's always just been something I've wanted to, like, just hold because I don't know. I think a part of me doesn't want the reason we started this. podcast wasn't because of twilight or anything. And I wanted the focus to stay on the reason we started it. Yeah, which I really love. Obviously, you know, our listeners have been dying for people from the franchise because their fans were all fans and we all love the franchise. I think it was just something that I wanted to hold for like a precious moment. And I did always

in the back of my mind think if we ever were to have the first person on, I always wanted it to be you. Really? Yeah. He's not just saying that. He did tell me that. I didn't know when it would happen. I didn't know one would feel right.

This is, you know, exciting for the first time having somebody from the franchise on. But I'm very, very happy. It's you because you've always held a very special place in my heart. Ditto, my friend. Thank you for having me. And I have the utmost respect and I'm also very aligned on that. And I totally understand and can relate to that need. And, you know, I'm also here because I want to talk about really important things.

And so I get that. So let's just get the juicy stuff out of the way in the beginning. And then we can, let's squeeze the juice in the beginning. Yeah, the twilight. Yeah. So I grew up like a huge fan of the franchise, which is so funny that this is like who I ended up. She was like photos of her from when she was a child. wearing twilight memorabilia.

But I love that you also just own that and admit that because what would be really weird is if you didn't talk about it. And then at some point he like goes to your house for a family gathering. And I'm like a cardboard crowd in the closet. No, she's been open about that from the beginning. I have. I have been so open that the first time I met her, she's like just so you know I was Team Edward. And my reasoning is that I was too young to be into abs and to hotness.

You were too young. I was below the age of finding abs. Fair enough. Attractive. But now I'm team. You've come around. I have. But he did have really spectacular abs.

I'm sure you still do. They're just maybe not on display in our velvet chairs right now. They're not the same, that's for sure. And they've gone like this over the years. Well, you know what? You were so dedicated to that. And I have to say, just like looking back at, you know, that chapter, your dedication at such a young age, not just to like the abs, but the reason behind

the abs was, I mean, you know, I was like, I was always championing, well, you said it. I got fired. Oh, gosh. Oh, no. Okay. I literally got fire. And I needed to grow abs to get my job back. How about you?

We'll reframe that and say you worked really, really hard to prove. that you were dedicated to whatever that role might need. And you did such a great job. And now our age difference doesn't feel like anything. It's sort of like we're the same age. But at the time, because I grew up really fast and had, you know, moved out young and all that stuff. And I think maybe you had to some degree a slightly, you know,

more sheltered childhood. So at the time, it definitely felt like big sister, mama bear. Yeah. And so it's just like, I always felt such love and just, I was so proud of you and I wanted to always champion that. Yeah. Thank you.

I know, I was looking up like, I had obviously was doing research for this and I like Googled your guys's names and the photos. The photos of the two of you. And I forgot about something. I haven't. I haven't ever seen them so sad. Yeah. I think I.

Did we follow? I have a. It's literally like you guys walking around like downtown Vancouver and it's like you with like this big old. person to you learn like a leather jacket in the two of you just like we have some funny photos out there i don't i think you'll be able to relate to this don't air them although i guess they're gullible but they're very cute splice the men very precious oh okay yeah owning all chapters of life but i i like i i i forgot about i have this thing and i don't know if you have the same i think

it is a trauma-related thing, but I just forget so much of that time of my life. I truly can't even remember it. Like, people ask me questions for stories and, like, and I'll see pictures, and I'll be like, that seems like a different person. I don't, like, I now recall it, but I can't, like, it's just so blurry. I think a lot happened in that time, you know, and so I don't know, I mean, you choose to elaborate or not on what that means for you, but I think it was a very potent period. We saw a lot, we did a lot, we went through a lot, and I think sometimes maybe the brain takes a brain break. Yeah. You know? And you had so much you wanted to still go off and do. And so, you know, less so for me and maybe, you know, more for you, I don't want to speak for you,

but I know that a lot of that chapter was very defining in a lot of ways, especially publicly for you, I imagine. And so I think you probably needed to like give your brain a break. Yeah. I definitely, definitely did. I feel like I still do. As much as I love summer, I love fall even more. And that means I get to make those tiny, I need cozy changes at home that flip the season on, pulling out the soft blankets, and putting on that first batch of my favorite soup. Nothing extravagant, just intentional little resets that make my house feel like a sanctuary again. I treat myself to makeup the same way this time of year.

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available through my link, so you must go to D-R-I-N-K-L-M-T dot com slash squeeze. we talk about a lot of things that often feel out of our control, whether that's our mental health, schedule, space, but one area that tends to quietly create stress for so many people is money. Most of us can't even name all of our financial accounts off the top of our heads. Between 401Ks, investments, properties, savings, credit cards, it's a lot. And the lack of awareness can actually lead to leaving money on the table without realizing it. Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch. and all in one personal finance tools that brings your entire financial life together

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spot where money is sitting idle, and finally see how everything connects. It even lets you share your dashboard with your partner or financial advisor at no extra cost, which can completely take the stress out of talking about money. It's trusted by experts and everyday users alike. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code squeeze at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code squeeze. Do you guys remember meeting? Like, oh, meeting? Hmm. Remember meeting some of the, hold on. This is, again, like we got to dig into. Yeah. I know. I'm trying. She asked me this this morning. There's a lot to not be an answer because that was also like so. Well, I mean, I obviously came in late.

So I don't, during, I don't even know if we, did we meet during the first movie? Well, yes, we must have met during the first movie. But like the moments that I remember with you are all not set related. They're personal. It's like, you know, your dad dropping you off to like my living room and you constantly, I'm remembering it as I'm saying and I didn't dig this up like on the drive. just remembering you doing backflips off my couch, like nonstop. Sounds accurate.

You were super into like parkour stuff. Okay. Do you remember that? It was all about, I think you had just discovered like how strong and capable your body was or something. And it was like watching a puppy. Yeah, very puppy. It was like, my paws are so big.

I can do this. And I just remember being like, okay, T's coming over and like maybe some things are going to get broke. and he's going to do some backflips off the couch and then I'm going to cook. And didn't we used to do, I had like a workout. This is back when you used DVDs and like the internet. You weren't like YouTubeing your workouts. So I had DVDs and I would put them on in the living room and I remember you'd be like you would hang and then I would do like my three pound weights on my living room DVD. But these are all such sweet memories. You know, it's like locked in a very special little

box for me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I can, that's, that's, because my memory of then is so blurry, that's all I remember. I don't, I don't remember the moment that like. Yeah. Same. That exact moment. Yeah. But we were so young. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like your, the photos are from like, I'm trying to think how you look in these. I mean, definitely wasn't the first, but they're like new moon. Yeah. Yeah. Because there were no photos of us from the first film. We were just, what we thought was we were making a tiny little movie in Portland, Oregon, and none of us knew what it was going to be. There was no paparazzi for the first movie. No, so this had to be the second and third and fourth.

It's a lot of us like walking around downtown Vancouver. It's like. Yes, we were in. There's photos of us. Sorry, I'm just going to pull back up. I guess people, I guess fans would recognize us on the street sometimes Vancouver. and there's like photos of us taking photos of each other with the fans. There's some good stuff.

This is totally like the age of innocence too, you know? It was just an explosion of, I don't know. It's literally just, it's these. It's just the two of you strolling. Oh, the wig cap. The wig cap. I didn't look at that one. That's very cruel.

Don't splice that into the episode. I know people can look it up, but let's not like. I don't know what's worse. The wig cap or my style because my style in these photos are concerning. That's so violating that people took photos of that like walking

from trailer to trailer. I'm glad we can laugh about it now. It's so cute. So obviously I'm going to ask you guys some questions that I know you've answered five million times but I just like to know because I obviously haven't talked to anyone above. Because you know my answers but you don't know her.

I don't know anyone else's answers. You kind of mentioned it going into the first movie. You like, had you read the books? Did you know what it was? You kind of mentioned you had no idea that it was going to be what it was. Yes. So I got a call about the first film.

And I had not read the books at the time. I did after that call. And I was actually working in a clothing store in Hawaii. I don't know if I've ever told this story. but you know quick segue I think it's just always been a part of me or a part of my DNA even in between you know all those films you may or may not remember this but I would dip in and out and you know move away away away away from being in the center of it all because some part of my heart or consciousness in whatever way was always pulling me towards something else whether that was

learning a new language or whether that was experiencing life in a different way but I never felt like called to remain in the center of, you know, whatever you want to call this business that we were all in. So at the time, I was actually working at a clothing store in Hawaii, and I was really proud of the fact that I had moved up into like an opening and closing position. I really enjoyed my life there. I wanted to take pride in my work. I'm a big believer in that. Like, whatever you do, do it with all of you. And so I got the call. about this film, but it required me leaving my job there. And so not to make this sound like some cool sound by like, oh, I passed on it the first time or whatever.

That's not the point of this. The point is just that I really was enjoying my life there. You were loving your life. Yeah. And so it took me a while to, you know, commit to the idea of another life shift again. So I did read the book, the first book, and I came in and I met on the project. And I went, you know, okay, maybe this is like the direction that the, you know, the flow of life is taking me now. Yeah.

And I jumped on board and, you know, super excited. Like, wow, what a cool world that was there because I became a genuine fan. Like probably every single person that's ever read those books. It's hard to not become, you know, invested in that story. Yeah. And the other interesting thing is that as the, you know, as we were shooting these films, more was written, right? So like Breaking Dawn, the last book wasn't even. They weren't out.

They weren't out yet. So we were kind of like along for the ride as it was unfolding. Yeah. So that was all very cool and very exciting. And I remember halfway through shooting the first film, finishing New Moon, the second book, and then still feeling like I was just like continually being pulled into this incredible world that Stephanie came up with.

And I was, you know, I became a fan. Yeah. Yeah. You had already worked with Catherine twice before that. Yeah, we did. This was her third thing with Catherine. Yeah, and what's really amazing about Catherine, one of the amazing things is that because she started her career as a production designer, she has this really unique ability

to go into an empty room and bring it to life, which translates to her relationship with actors and seeing the core of a character and who she wants to play that character. And it doesn't have to be someone that looks like that character. It doesn't have to be an obvious choice, just like she can walk into an empty room and see the vision before anyone else can, you know, watch it come to life. And I find that to be, it wasn't just me, by the way, she has worked with the same actors over and over again. Like, for example, Sarah, who plays Bella's mom

in Twilight was also in 13. And, you know, she has... Yeah. Yeah, it's a really cool thing. And I love that. Like, I love her care and loyalty and creativity and ability to do that. I feel like she should forever

be praised in... I mean, she cast the franchise. And And that is all her. She's the person that sought out each person for each role. And like the characters and actors that played them that we fell in love with, like that was all her doing. Yeah, she really set the tone.

Yeah. Wow. Which is incredible. Good for her. So when after the first movie, the first movie comes out and it's like, whoa, what is going on? like this fandom is really taken off. What was your reaction to that? Hmm.

You're really bringing me back into the place. I don't prep these because like you, I don't talk about this ever. I'm, you know, jumping back into my 19-year-old self. I do remember one specific moment, which was, you know, we finished the film and it was a sweet, you know, intimate little experience because like I said, we thought we were just kind of making, you know, not a micro-micro film, but, you know, just a little film that we all loved, that we hoped, you know, there was at the time like one website that was, I guess, the beginning of what you would call like a fan forum. And a couple of people had opinions on characters and things like that. And I remember while we were shooting the first film going like, wow, so people know about these books. That's so cool, you know. But we didn't know if we would make a second. Certainly not a third, definitely fourth or fifth, had no idea. It would, you know, be a decade of. of our lives, right? And so I remember when we finished the first film,

we got invited, the film got invited, to be a part of Comic-Con, San Diego. And we didn't go. I think it was just, you know, the two leads at the time. And I remember watching them, I watched it on TV, and I remember one of them getting out of a car, and there were thousands of people screaming

as he was getting out of the car. And that was the moment for me where I was like, It was literally like, wait, is that for the, for him, for the films? Right. And that was a very defining moment. I went, oh my gosh, I think we're going to make a second one, you know? Yeah. But we had a couple of those like big aha moments along the way where you realized that life, you know, was forever, you know, impacted.

Yeah. Was your first Comic-Con the second one? I don't remember. I'm trying to remember. But it must have, yeah, must have been. I don't remember the time. But these were things that. I'm trying to remember.

I don't remember. Obviously mine was the same. You know. I was like, I don't remember either. Well, it wasn't the first. It was, I know. I don't know. There's just a series of these major a haas that we were in the moment

experiencing them along with everyone else. You know what I mean? There was no like foreshadowing. Like here's what's about to happen to life or to, you know, career or anything like that. So yeah, I mean, we talk about that how like I feel like the franchise was really like the first of its kind in the sense. I mean, there was like Harry Potter, but it was different like. It didn't have, yeah, different. Obviously that's a whole other fandom, but like just different in the sense of like it's more like adult love story in a way. Yeah. Like it transcends.

Well, it just had this thing that made it so pop culture. Yeah. And I mean, you still see it today. Like with call whatever the most recent one is I mean there I turn pretty like people are obsessed with Yeah Yeah That juice is that triangle of and it you know The you know somewhat sexual nature whatever it is like people it just shot it through Just like fandom wise. Yeah Yeah I think it also spoke to more than just one demographics that was really interesting it was a medium that was a medium that was

You know, allowed to. You could be a teenager. Well, yeah, that was when I wasn't even allowed, you saying that, maybe remember, I wasn't allowed to read Breaking Dawn until I, like, got a little bit older. I'd read the first three books. My mom was like, you're not reading Breaking Dawn yet. Did you know that? She got ahead of it.

Yeah, she had read, see? She got ahead of it. Yeah. She had read all of them in her book club, and I was like, I want to read it. So she let me read the first one. And then I had a Twilight birthday party because I loved it. Oh my gosh, yeah. Literally. I mean, I'm sure my mom kind of like prompted that one too.

But no, I loved it. I like, do you know this? Everything about that is so great. Her mom planned her. Well, when you say speaking. She was really excited when she found out we started dating. You don't know this yet, but her mom was actually in the front row at the time that. I'm going to get a call for my mom.

I was not, Taylor. Mom, you were not. Wait, she was at? Was she not at that birthday party that I showed up to? No, no, she wasn't. Oh, she was just friends with the woman. You showed up to a birthday party? Yeah.

Wait, you showed up to a Twilight-themed birthday party for her before she can be breaking done? A mutual friend of my. A friend of her mother's. Not a close friend, but a friend of her mother's. I'm from like a suburb. Everyone knows everyone. No.

I also had a connection. to this person mutually. Okay. And they asked me, would you do me the biggest favor? A friend of mine is having her birthday party. She's rented out a theater up where we live, Santa Clarita at the time. And they're screening like New Moon there for her birthday. It's just the whole theater is for her birthday.

Would you pop in when the movie's done and say hello and happy birthday? And I did. And it was freaking crazy. And it was all 40, 45-year-old women. Yeah. And it just turns out that that woman that I showed up to that theater birthday party for knows her mom. Wow. I thought she was there.

Six degrees of separation. Okay. I got that story twisted. It sounded very different a couple minutes ago. Don't worry, Mom. We're not accusing you of anything. Love you, Lisa. But no, I had read.

I mean, yeah, I loved, I had read the books and loved them before the first maybe came out. And my, you know, me being, how old would I have been? How old were you when you filmed the first one? When I filmed 16. So I would have been math 11. I was probably 10, 11 when I read the first book. So me reading it and my mom reading it. Like it just really like reached such a broad.

Yeah. Such a broad thing. It's true. It's cool. It's cool. It's something you guys can. a laugh about for years to come. I know.

And I was the one that was like going to, I like went to the like midnight premieres of each of them. So I would go to the movie theater and watch the movie that was like the previous movie. You'd catch up on the old movies before watching the new one. Like she was doing that. You were really. Yeah.

That is commitment. Uh-huh. You are. I was committed. I know. And that's why people are always like, so is it just so crazy that like you ended up with Jacob? And like Taylor's not like what I met.

I mean, he's the most like normal person. Like he's so not that. And I literally forget. Like when I watch the movies back, because we've watched them. And I'm like, that's like a different person. Like it's not like the same.

Well, that's the hope, right? But that's the very interesting thing about like playing a character for so long is that people can't disassociate you from that. So I used to talk about that a lot. But it was interesting to see like as that character evolved in the films, as Rosalie evolved in the films. and she became more relatable and more compassionate

and you got to understand her story. It was interesting to see the shift in how even I as a person was perceived because people come up to me and say things like, oh my gosh, you smile. And I'm like, you know, like me a person. You're pleasant. Or just, you know, you forget that, aka choose wisely. But you forget that I guess that's the job

is to like, you know, create as much belief ability as possible, but you being with him now, it probably feels like, you know, as it should, a totally different person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't even believe that same person as me. I know. Last time we did watch it, though, I did have like a sweet moment because I think it's so cool that like I'm able to watch these things, even like Shark Boy and Love a Girl. Like I'm able to see Taylor at that age, like fully, like, you know, doing like, I get to see you as like, like, I get to see you I was like a little person. And when we were watching the franchise back,

he has like this little scar on his forehead when he had chicken pox when he was a kid. And like there's a close up, I don't know what movie it is. You're like in the tent or something. And it's like a close up of your face and you can see it. And it was like,

oh my gosh, like how sweet. Like I get to see you at that. Like you don't get to see me at that age, you know? I can see like photos. Yeah. Like I get to see you at that age. Like it's just,

I had like this really cool. Yeah. Like shift with it. Yeah. Out of body experience. Yeah. It's true. Me just being a moody little boy.

I still am a moody little boy. You are moody. I still got that mood and that sass in me. That's for sure. I do feel like I'm sitting watching. Like I maybe should sit and then between you guys and talk about. Is there anything else you would like to share? She obviously really likes the dimple on your forehead.

No, that's what happens during these podcasts a lot. Is it, it becomes like our guest is like place therapist for the two of us. And that's why I start musical chairs. Free therapy. Should we play musical chairs? Yeah. Literally. Okay.

Now we're diving into the real deal. I got all my questions out of the way. Yeah. Thank you for me. You're good. When it comes to fitness, variety really is everything. Some mornings you want to zone out on a long, steady run. Other days, a slow grounding Pilates or yoga,

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That's the realreel.com slash squeeze to get your $25 off. Start shopping now at the real real.com slash squeeze. So something I can relate to, as you know, is you in more recent years have taken a step back from the industry to focus on all of the things you're doing. Wellness, sustainability, your family. was that like a because I know what it was for me but was that a a gradual realization or something that hit you over the head when you were like I want to take a step back this is what I want to be focusing on for me for me it was gradual I mean we were talking about it a minute ago but I have always felt called to different things I've never you know, I co-wrote a film when I was 13 years old. And, you know... It was called 13, baby.

And wax poetic on the process, you know, all day long. The truth of the matter is, in many ways, that was a happy accident, right? I was a kid. How could I have known, you know, what that was going to do to the, you know, trajectory of a career? Yeah, or real life or any of that. And so in many ways I sort of fell into this being my career. In fact, with 13, I was, you know, a very happy eighth grader given the position of like an unofficial, you know, casting director associate. You know, I got to go in and read really challenging sensitive dialogue with other young actors and it made more sense to have a young person reading it with them. And so that's what I was doing. doing. And I was just really excited that I got to take off a couple days of eighth grade to go do that, having no idea that it was then going to become, you know, a presentation of, hey, you know,

Nick, you should play this character who's not based on yourself, but you should play this other role. And so all of that is sort of a very long-winded, unnecessary way of saying that I didn't grow up with Hollywood being a dream, right? I worked. my ass off. I worked very, very, very hard because as you know, you know, I pour a 110% of myself into anything that I'm passionate about. And I was very, very passionate about learning the craft. But even the start of that film came from my desire to write. And so, you know, one was like a, you know, very positive but unintended consequence of the other. And, you know, and, you know, So as my career, it was such a weird thing to say, but like career in that space evolved,

I always took it kind of one step at a time, but I always felt called to explore other things. And there were even moments in the midst of all of that, whether it was in between shooting, you know, films that were arguably, you know, part of one of the greatest, largest franchises of all time. I would get calls from like my management or my publicist at the time and being like, okay, so don't you want to be back in Los Angeles because you're going to miss these really big, you know, awards that are happening. And if you miss that, then you're probably not going to have this next opportunity. And I never cared about the next opportunity, not because I was such a cool kid, like, wow, that's so cool of her to not care. Maybe it was actually kind of thoughtless or

dumb of me, to be honest. But I just was really excited about experiencing life. Hence why I had done, I don't know, six, seven, eight, nine films. By the time I was 19, I don't even remember because I don't look at that resume chapter of life, but certainly like, you know, more than what could fit on this hand. And I took off to go work in a clothing store because I wanted to experience that part of life. Someone had casually mentioned to me like, hey, Have you ever worked a job like this in this capacity? And it was really, to me, I was, I don't want to say like, yeah, disappointing is not the right word.

I was more like eager, like hungry to make sure that I had like, you know, experienced all those things. And so I remember my first call, I called to get a job at a grocery store. And the first thing they asked me was, can you tell us your experience? And guess what? the person on the other end of that line wasn't there to care for five seconds about whether or not I could say, well, I've done this many films and I actually wrote a film or I actually, they're like, yeah, but have you done this job that I'm asking you about? And if the answer is no, you don't have

the job. And it's, it was, um, challenging for me, you know, and so, um, I don't know, you know, at what point, I wouldn't say there was like a moment where I went, oh, I want to shift away from this career. But I think I've always felt called to do things that impact people, that are mission-driven, that change not only, you know, on a grand scale like the planet, but also people's day-to-day lives. And if there's any way to take this small platform or career that once was and parlay it into doing some good, then I feel like I've, then I've maybe done something right. You know, that must be the purpose for what that previous career was, was maybe to just move culture forward in a different way, have a positive impact that's meaningful. And that's

what it was for me. So I think it was always there, you know? It wasn't like I woke up one day and went, hey, I'm done with that experience. I want this experience. It was always percolating under the surface. During the franchise. And I know for you, I think you were maybe just like to honestly maybe just to aloof and I think you maybe like I was very aloof just kind of disconnected I needed much more of what she had but during like during the height of everything you've talked about how like it didn't impact your mental health directly in that time period it was definitely something that was after yes for you did did your mental health have any impact during like the height and the chaos of everything

I mean, without giving like a concrete answer on that, I can just say one thing that I've definitely learned from this experience in general, just from being even an observer of the experience from the outside looking in now, is that the human psyche is not meant for some extreme level of attention. And, you know, that's why you go back and you look at history and you look at all of these amazing, young, talented artists throughout the years that we've all loved and admired that end up with addiction issues or depression issues or because truthfully, I think that the psyche is not meant to handle it. Absolutely. And maybe it was because I didn't really ever feel torn between two worlds.

And like I knew where my roots were and what excited me and what didn't excite me. I mean, sure, of course, there were moments that were so, so, so exciting with just, you know, the level of success of that franchise. But I was never pulled towards that. If anything, I think maybe I was afraid of it, you know, like it was something that I couldn't quite understand and it happened to all of us so quickly. But I mean, I'm, I'm very good at removing myself from the eye of the storm. Yeah. Well, honestly, I think it's, we talk up a lot about like putting value into things. And that's something that Taylor's been open about is like,

I mean, you could speak. I don't want to put words in your mouth. Basically, I did the complete opposite of you. I put my entire identity. into that and becoming. I also am like when I do something I want to be the best, do the best. Yeah. But I put it fully into, you know, that career that was going on for me at that moment. Yeah. And putting my full identity into that.

I'm a people pleaser. So as soon as you start having things taken away from you or, you know, just, you know, being judged. or whatever it was, that is when I, because I did the opposite of you, and I put everything into that and lost, you know. But you can't be too hard on yourself about that because you were so young and also, how could you not? Right? Like, you have to remember I was sort of like a, like, I don't want to say a street kid,

but like I had a lot of street smarts and like had to figure out, you know, how to navigate things and how to see, you know, ahead a little bit just out of like self-preservation. as a child. So that was part of my childhood. And you, how could you not do that? You had the entire world looking at you and also telling you who you were and also, you know, a very different childhood in a lot of ways because of that. And I know there was a lot of pressure on you, which it's your podcast. You can cut out whatever you want. So I guess I don't have to be careful what I say about you. You can edit it. But, you know, like I watched a lot of that from the outside in the amount of pressure that was put on you to be a certain way and look a certain way. And I actually

just have such like love and compassion for watching that boy grow up and like grow into who you are now. That's why it makes me so happy like not just the two of you together, but seeing where you are now because that could have taken a very, very different turn for you. And my, I just love you so much, you know and I always have I like always wanted to take care of you and make sure that you were good and you were okay because I saw the world I saw what that could have felt like for you as it was happening yeah literally crying right now well to be honest child's work right now as much as you say you know like you would never have wanted to do this truthfully it's really hard for me to be like forward facing I'd much rather run companies and be behind the scenes and watch everybody else be the stars of things

so it's like hard for me to put myself out there. But truthfully, if it meant like seeing you, there's a part of me that was, you know, of course, it's hard to put yourself out there. So of course, I was like, can I just, well, if this reconnects us in this way and I get to spend a couple hours with you because I love you. And I want to see you. I know. I want to see you in this space too. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Totally. I've gotten through it. I'm not, I'm not through it through it. I don't know if I'll ever be. but yeah, that's what I had to learn on my own over the years. And with, you know, doing a lot of work on myself.

Yeah. I've gotten through and realized a lot of that. But, yeah, it would have should have definitely just taken more of your advice back in that moment. Things, life has a crazy way of sometimes presenting you with an opportunity to take a sharp right or a sharp right. or sharp left, you know? And I just, in these moments, like what you were just describing a minute ago, too, like with that kind of level of fame and what you had to experience, not me, but you, you have a series of choices, right? And that's what this is really all about. And like, what I wanted to praise you both for, but also talk about on here is that we all have a series of

choices of, sure, certain circumstances are out of our hands. But we get to choose what path want to take, what we want to absorb, how we want to show up in the world. And at a certain point, you have to grow up and not blame anything that's happened on anything outside of yourself. Because you have to take ownership of that space. It's the only way you're going to grow. It's the only way that you grow. Because, yes, things can happen. People can have, you know, childhoods that are messy or, you know, careers that have a huge impact on their life or, you know, I don't know, relationships, stuff, family stuff, kids, who know, you know, there are challenges, but it's how you navigate those, and those are a series of choices.

Yeah. You know, we get to choose our friend circle. We get to choose who influences us on a daily basis. We get to choose the amount of negativity that we bring into our consciousness on a daily basis. We get to choose for, you know, the most part, to a certain extent, the kind of food we eat. of course. I know there are limitations there and I'm not blind to that, but I'm just saying we get to make a series of choices on a daily basis. And if we really tune in to ourselves as

adults and try to get it together to the best of our ability, then we show up and make those choices consciously. Hey, this feels hard today, but I'm going to do that instead of this. It's like the same conversation we were having in your kitchen a minute ago about, you know, choosing to go to the gym or not. maybe that sounds like a sort of silly superficial example of this but we get to choose how we show up for ourselves and the people around us and that is the greatest to me um influence i think on our mental health because there's ownership in that right that's the really cool part of it yeah yeah i mean isn't not like the first step in aA is like admitting yeah it's like owning up that like you are struggling with something i think there's such i love i love that so much. And that's so relatable too. Yeah. You know, you get to a place in life where you realize that

everybody is actually like a human having a human experience. Yeah. No matter what your, like your story's is going to look so different from someone else's story, of course. Yeah. But the insecurities can be the same. The struggles can be the same. The challenges can be the same. Even the level of happiness, sadness, depression, excitement, whatever those things are can be the same. The coping. Yes. And it and it makes this connection feel so palpable between really everybody. Like it's, it's really no different, you know? My route was different than yours, but we're all going through and feeling the same emotions and human challenges in life. Yeah. And you know what's really illuminated that as much as I don't ever like to really like praise the world of social media because you know how I feel

about that. But what's really illuminated that with social media is just that there is more of a global conversation that gets to happen, which I'm sure you're able to. to really highlight and capitalize on just with what you guys are doing. And it's nice to see that everybody everywhere is having a somewhat similar experience. And you can hold hands metaphorically, you know, going through it. Yeah. So true. Next week on the squeeze.

I haven't heard that in 15 years. I don't like that question. We are all part of that social experiment. That lit a whole other, you know, fire under me. It's almost like an assault on your nervous system. Do you have, like, I know this is... Oh gosh, most of the time, the things that we criticize about ourselves are actually tools we needed at one point to survive.

That little girl who smoked cigarettes and only ate fast food and lived on diet sodas and threw trash out her window now is a champion for the environment and for sustainability and for health and wellness. I'm so proud of you as, person. Ditto. Make sure to subscribe or follow the squeeze wherever you listen to your podcast so you don't miss part two of our very special episode with Nikki Reid.

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