The Squeeze - Tay Lautner: Life Lessons and Life Updates

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

In this week’s episode, Tay is going solo for the very first time! She kicks things off with a recap of her recent trip to NYC for The Summer I Turned Pretty season 3 red carpet premiere, and reveals whether she’s Team Jeremiah or Team Conrad. Tay then opens up about a pregnancy scare earlier this year and how it reminded her of the importance of choosing a partner who shows up in the hard times, not just the fun ones. She shares her thoughts on how to know when you’ve found “the one,” how changing up your routine can reset your mindset, and why both working out and therapy are essential for mental health. Tay also offers tips for improving communication with your partner, practicing self-love by treating yourself like someone you care for, and finding community in a new place. To wrap things up, she shares an exciting update about our upcoming Mental Health Summit on September 20th!To learn more and buy tickets to our Mental Health Summit, visit: https://www.lemonsbytay.com/the-lemons-foundations-mental-health-summitTo email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail] sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on all of our socials:The SqueezeInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesqueeze/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thesqueezepodcastTay LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mrstaylautnerAmazon Storefront https://urlgeni.us/amazon/FDXj7 Taylor LautnerInstagram: https://instagram.com/taylorlautner/TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@taylorlautnerTo learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow https://instagram.com/lemonsbytay/ and visit https://lemonsbytay.comEpisode Sponsors:Visit LiveConscious.com and start your journey to natural beauty. Use code SQUEEZE for 15% off.If you want to stay strong and energized now and as you age, then you have to try Mitopure Gummies. My friends at Timeline are offering 20% off, just for my listeners. Head to timeline.com/SQUEEZE to get started. Your cells will thank you!Learn more and join using our link. The first 1,000 get a $100 credit toward their membership. Visit https://functionhealth.com/THESQUEEZE or use gift code THESQUEEZE100 at sign-up to own your health.To learn more about therapy with NOCD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15-minute call with their team.Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop!Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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and bought a ring pop. And the next time they hung out, he picked her up, was like, hey, look what I got you. I think that's the hardest a man has ever tried. I've ever heard a man tried to sleep with someone. I apologize to the single woman out there. Not in the studio, but this is actually my first time ever sitting here one-on-one with you. Just because your communication with your partner is good doesn't mean you don't fight. I want to make that loud and clear.

I did cut it out of a couple episodes. I didn't really want to like talk about it yet. Um, but I'm going to talk about it with you today. Dun-da-d-d-d-dun. When I tell you that there is truly no better feeling than your therapist telling you that they are proud of you, I'm clearly like emotional. I don't know why I cry a lot. Ask my husband. You're fine.

You need to get over this. You're overreacting. Guarantee you. You are not the only one. Hello, lemon drops. Welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze. This episode looks a little different not only because am I not in the studio, but this is actually my first time ever sitting here one-on-one with you, which is honestly kind of crazy. I've been doing this

for almost three years and we've never had a proper sit-down together. So I'm really excited to sit down one-on-one with you today and to just dive into some life stuff. I feel like I have so many life updates for you and I don't really even know where to begin. I think a fun place to start, which I know that you all have been wanting me to talk about and I haven't talked about yet is my New York trip for the summer I turned pretty season premiere. I was there on the brick carpet. Prime had me come out film some content for them. And when I tell you that I literally had the time of my life, I am not exaggerating one bit. I was frolicing like a little fairy on this carpet.

I was just having the best time. I am really just like comfortable in front of the camera. I guess I picked a good career choice as I'm sitting here in front of two cameras. But I just had so much fun. I filmed so many TikToks. It was just, it's a show that I love, and you guys know that I love it in it. So organic and fun, and I really just got to live out our dreams together for all of you lemon drops and all of my summer. I turned pretty girlies or guys, which my husband has slowly been converting to.

It has been a little hard, though, because I feel like this season isn't the best season to jump into. because I feel like there has just been so much going on every single episode. There's also so many new storylines, which we haven't seen in the first couple seasons. So he's kind of like, what's going on? Why are these people acting this way? So he has been needing a little recap for seasons one and two, which I think since there's only one episode released a week, I think him and I should probably catch up on the two seasons because who doesn't want to rewatch the first two seasons of the show?

So my next most requested question is if I am teen Conrad or team Jeremiah. And I have an answer for you. I will say at first I really felt pull to be team Jeremiah because of a certain love triangle that I may be like married into with my husband. I felt like I needed to be Team Jare because of Team Jacob because I am now, Team Jacob. And when I was watching the Twilight franchise, I was Team Edward. So I felt like I needed to be Team Jare. But as I keep watching, I have discovered that I am a Conrad girlie through and through.

I literally get giddy with him and belly look at each other. I giggle like a little girl and my husband looks at me like, what are you doing? These are fictional characters. But no, babe, it's real life. I am, I am team Conrad. The biggest thing, I feel like people are going to be mad at me for not being team Jeremiah, because I'm team Jacob. The biggest thing is like, Jacob didn't cheat on Bella multiple times. Like they weren't dating. So I feel like it's justified for people to be team Jacob, but it's a little hard to be team Jeremiah. That being said, though, I do want to talk about something that I feel like I've been seeing

on the internet and on not only my post, because I've been sharing some content that I did with Gavin on the carpet, but also just all of so many accounts posting Team Conrad versus Team Jeremiah. I just felt like I needed to give a little reminder. that Gavin is not Jeremiah. Gavin plays a character in a show. So I just want us to make sure we are being kind and remembering that Gavin as a human does not in any way sure perform reflect Jeremiah.

Because I just feel like I've been seeing a lot of hate towards him. I haven't talked to Gavin at all about this, but obviously he and his wife are friends of mine and I don't like seeing hate towards anyone. So I just kind of felt like I needed to share that little gentle reminder. Yes, we can be Team Conrad and Boo on Jeremiah all we want. But let's just remember that if we're going to leave mean comments, let's not do it to the actual humans. Just a little reminder as we head into the rest of the season. I do want to share that next week's episode is going to be along the topics of what I have

been talking about for like the past five minutes. So you're going to want to stay tuned for that episode because we got an episode for you girly bops. I feel like I have so many life updates because we haven't done a solo episode in so long. I think a good place to just. is probably my pregnancy scare that I had at the beginning of the year. Dun-da-d-d-d-done. I don't know if you guys, I've kind of talked about it with a couple different podcast guests,

but if I'm being honest, I did cut it out of a couple episodes because I didn't really want to like talk about it yet. But I'm going to talk about it with you today because I feel like I can. So basically at the beginning of the year, I had the biggest, like, pregnancy scare I thought, I fully, fully thought that I was pregnant. I was almost two weeks late on my period. I just was not, it was, I've never been late in my entire life. So I was fully convinced that I was pregnant.

but we had a big week of podcast tapings and I didn't want to take a pregnancy test because I was like I want to focus on these episodes. I feel like I wanted to pour my heart into the episodes and make sure the guests were given, you know, I was doing the proper research to make sure I could give our guests the best episodes possible and the best attention possible. So I kind of just pushed it to the side and then another week went by and I still hadn't got my period. So I was, like, okay, after this podcast episode that we were filming, I am going to go take a pregnancy test. I know that I have one in the closet. I am just going to go take it. I'm not going to tell Taylor. I'm not going to get them worked up. It's probably nothing. I did, you know, a couple months ago,

change my birth control. So I was like, it's probably nothing. But I've never been as late before my entire life. So it could be something. I go to grab the pregnancy. test and this thing is so expired like three years expired four years expired i didn't even buy them i bought them for someone who was staying with us that needed to take a pregnancy test so these things were these things were old so i had to go downstairs and i had to relay the news to taylor that i needed to go to cvs because i needed to get a pregnancy test and i cannot explain to you guys i just i just don't know i just I don't know what I was expecting Taylor's reaction to be, but it was literally the best reaction I could have ever asked for because I actually started getting like really worked out because I was like, this is not playing. Like I was just so overwhelmed because it was the first time I ever really considered the thought of I could actually be pregnant right now.

And Taylor was so calm, so cool, so collected. He was just literally was being such an amazing support system to me. And he was just like, okay, well, how late are you? What are you thinking? Do you actually think you could be pregnant? Do you think it could be your pill? What do you think? I'm like, I don't know.

I just need to freaking go to CVS and get this test because I need to take it right now because now I'm freaking out. So we drive to the store. I grab a test. He's so sweet. He goes to get out of the car with me. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, do you not want me with you?

And I was like, no, I'm just going to go get it. And he was like, but you're going to take it in the store? And I was like, no, honey, we're going to drive home. So we, he was like, oh, okay, got it. We bought it. Drove home. And I walk in and he's like, do you want to, do you want me with you? Do you want to go take this on your own?

What do you want? And I was like, I think I'm just going to go upstairs and take it. So I go upstairs. I take it. I'm just kind of like pacing upstairs. before I go upstairs, I kind of like start, I started crying, definitely because I was emotional, not because I would have been upset if I was pregnant, but it was just, again, it was the first time I had ever been that close to actually being pregnant.

And it was just really hitting me all at once and the support and the love that I felt from Taylor in that moment, he was just like hugging me and telling me it was going to be okay. I'm either not going to be pregnant and life's going to go on or I'm going to be pregnant and it's going to be the greatest blessing ever. So I go upstairs. I take the test. I'm like pacing around the bathroom, waiting for it to, you know, read. And then I finally flip it over and it says negative. And, you know, Taylor comes up and I show it to him and I'm like, okay, so this is definitely probably just my birth control.

But I'm just going to take one more just to be safe. Took one more. It was negative. come to find out. I call my gynecologist the next day. I talk with someone in the office and they're like, oh, so this new birth control that you're on, people take it because they don't get periods and that's why they like it. Which I did not know. She definitely could have told me that and I just probably completely missed it when I was in that appointment when I was changing my birth control. but I was literally in shock. I was like, why would people not want to have a period?

They would think they were pregnant. But we found out that it was because of my birth control. I don't get periods because of my birth control, not because I'm pregnant. So that whole experience was truly just a whirlwind. And I'm sure so many of you out there can relate to that feeling. whether thinking you're pregnant or actually being pregnant, whatever it may be. And it was in that moment when I realized why I married Taylor.

You know, he is such an amazing human and he has so many great attributes. But I heard Kylie Kelsey talk about this on her podcast and how she was talking about how she chose her husband. She handpicked him, you know, her kids, that's what was given to her. Her family, that's what was given to her. She was born into it. Her kids were born to it. she had no say in picking who those people were.

But with her husband, she specifically chose Jason to be her husband. And in that moment, I really realized why I chose to spend my life with Taylor because in those moments, he is such a great person to lean on. And he is my biggest supporter. and I recently saw a TikTok that was like you, when you pick your husband, when you pick your life partner, when you pick your wife, when you pick whoever your life partner is, you're going to spend it with, make sure you choose someone that you not only have fun with and, you know, have so much fun experiencing those highs and you love going adventures on and doing being goofy

and doing silly stuff, whatever it is. But also that that person, that person, that, that, that you know that that person is going to be able to support you and care with you and be there for you for when a family member dies, when your child gets sick, when you are sick, when a friend is ill, whatever it is, through those hard times, you want to pick a partner that you know will be with you and support you no matter what. And I just think back to that moment of Taylor, just really supporting me. And I just, I can't even put into words, but that moment, it was such like an intimate moment for us to share together. We've never shared a moment of thinking we were going to be parents before.

So it really just reminded me to make sure you pick your partner for the hard times, not just the good times. Another one of those moments I had recently about choosing your partner when times are tough is I had to get an MRI on my hip because I've been having some hit problems. you guys know I danced my whole life and I got some I got some injuries in my body that had been lingering so I went and got an MRI and since working through COVID I have developed a severe claustrophobia fear I just don't I don't do well in small spaces tight spaces because of the PTSD from COVID and I had to get this MRI I don't know why I thought

it was going to be in an open MRI, but it was fully closed. I don't understand how people can get these things. But luckily, I didn't have to go all the way in. It went about to like right here on me. So I could like kind of see out, but I wasn't fully in. I was starting to have one of the biggest panic attacks. And I was like, okay, I can either leave and I have to come back and I have to redo this and go through this all again. Or I can just try it and try to get through it. because I need to know what's going on with my hip. And I had Taylor with me, of course, because he's my support system. And the tech was like, he can actually go in and stand with you.

So God bless my husband. This man stood next to this loud ass MRI machine for like 30 minutes as I was trying to not panic in this machine. I had my arm like this out of the machine because remember, it's like right up to my eyes. eyes. So I was literally like this. And this sweet man was just holding my hand, was rubbing my hand. And then he started kind of like rubbing my head. And then I would like switch hands because my arm went numb. And he was just literally holding my hand. His arm went fully numb. But he did not let go of my hand because he knew how freaking terrified I was being in this machine. And I'm sitting in the samurai machine. I'm, you know, I'm trying to get over this panic. I keep, you know, going through my little

grounding techniques. I'm breathing. I'm reassuring myself Taylor's air. If I look really high, I can kind of see like the outline of his hair. This thing is so loud. I have noise canceling headphones on. And I just had this moment of, oh, this is why I chose you. I started crying in this machine. Obviously, emotions were very high. But I was like, how cool that I have a partner that literally, one, chose to come with me, but also to stand next to me and hold my hand. and have his arm go fully numb just so that I can get through this thing that is terrifying to me, but I know that I have to get through. I just feel like I've been having a lot of those choosing your husband moments.

And after I heard Kylie talk about that on her podcast, I've really just been noticing a lot and really just being so, so grateful for my husband. And for somehow at 20 years old, I had the foresight to pay. someone that was kind and caring. And it's something that I'm so excited for my single friends to find in a spouse, to find in their life partner is to have someone that is going to support them and respect them and just love them that the way they are meant to be treated. Want to relive your 20s without reliving all of the chaos.

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that men will go through to get you to sleep with them. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I am not single anymore, that I got wafied up very young. And because my poor girlfriends, with these women have to go through dating. And these men, I just don't, I just don't know what goes through these men's heads, clearly just sleeping with the women.

one of them was, you know, talking about how she was kind of going back and forth, back and forth with this guy. They were just, you know, flirting, whatever. And she was like, I'm looking for someone who could provide for me. And he's like, well, I can provide for you. And just like, just like saying all of these, all of these sweet talking things to get her, to get her to seduce her, basically. But my one girlfriend, my one girlfriend told me when she,

was she just graduated high school and she was kind of talking to this guy and they were kind of hooking up just kissing nothing else um and and he was trying to you know do more with her get it get her to do more and she was like no actually i'm just kind of holding off on this either till i'm married or i'm just like waiting for like a more serious something i'm not i'm not just you know, gonna sleep with you just to sleep with you. And this man locked on to the thought of her saying that she's waiting till marriage, he went out and bought a ring pop. And the next time they hung out, he picked her up and was like, hey, look what I got you. And put it on her finger. And literally was trying so, I think that's the hardest Amanda.

has ever tried. I've ever heard a man try to sleep with someone. And she literally was like, oh my gosh, you're insane. And they didn't talk after that. They didn't hook up anymore after that. I just, the men these days are, I apologize to the single woman out there. But on the other end of the spectrum of, I feel like I've been getting a lot of questions about this on Instagram of people asking for advice on how to know when they're really in love. and not just settling for convenience. And I think that can definitely be hard, especially when you have been together with someone for so long,

when your lives are just kind of like intertwined. You have the same routine or whatever it is. It's just easy and you're comfortable. And it can be so hard to really take that step into either breaking up or having that full conversation of, hey, are we good? Is this like, are we going to keep moving forward with this? Or is this just a convenience thing?

We live together. We have the same routine. We both enjoy each other's company. Is this actually an in love relationship or is it just convenience? And I think my biggest advice there would be is to really kind of just examine yourself and what you are wanting in a partner. And if the person that you're with, you know, checks those boxes because, you know, sometimes there is a chance that they do when you've been together for a long time.

You know, Taylor and I have been together on, we're coming up on eight years soon. And, you know, we have been madly in love with each other, but I'm not going to lie, there's definitely been seasons where it's not fun and exciting and it definitely can feel a bit mundane or we're going through the cycles or it's just like not fun and thrilling and honeymoon phase like it used to be. But I think it's how you get out of those moments that really, show you if you are in love or if you're just together for convenience if that person is what you are wanting in a life partner if that person is showing you love and showing you care and putting you know your feelings for theirs as you with them i think a good way to check it could be you know

doing a date night trying to go out trying to change it up whether it's a walk after dinner maybe you don't go outside. It doesn't need to be a full blown. We're going to go on this weekend vacation, which I love a staycation. Those are the best. But also even just changing it up, maybe it's you walk the dog after dinner. You guys have a glass of wine and play a card game. Just doing something to change up the routine to make sure that spark and that love and connection is still there. And I think that's something that can go for not just in your relationship, but also when the life just feels so mundane and you feel so stuck in the same cycle. You guys know how much I love a routine. I am a routine gal through and through. I literally do

the same 10 steps every morning of turning lamps on, lighting candles, letting dogs out, feeding them all. It's literally step by step the same thing every single day. And it's something that I need to get my morning going and just feeling like I'm on pace. for the day, but also, I'm not going to lie, there has been plenty of times where I get so into this routine and then I start to feel stuck and I start to feel like almost like a midlife crisis, which sounds so insane, but it's almost like, what am I doing with my life? I do the same thing every day and routines are great, but also I think when you do have the same routine, that feeling of what am I doing with my life? I feel stuck. I feel on repeat. I can't get out of the cycle.

that's when it really starts to creep in and that's when you really start to feel it. And that's when I want to challenge you if you are feeling that way to step outside of the box and try something new, something that you haven't done before, whether that is going somewhere, whether that's trying a new restaurant, whether that's going for a walk, laying out in the sun, trying a new food, playing a new game, watching a new movie, flipping something in your routine that will kind of change up that stuck feeling. An example for me is I obviously work from home. And when I start to feel stuck, I have to change up my scenery. I have to change up where I'm sitting. And I will bop around my house like literally everywhere.

But then sometimes I feel like that's not enough. So I make sure to go out and go to a coffee shop to change my scenario, what's around me. Another huge thing that I need to be better at because I feel when it actually when I do this, I feel it so much. Like I feel the difference in my body. And it's actually working out to start my day. And it sounds so silly and so simple. But actually when I go and I take a workout class at 9 a.m. It doesn't need to be 5 a.m. Maybe you're maybe you have, you don't work from home and you have an office job. So it needs to be early. But I encourage you to take a workout class, whether it's a in person class, whether it's a peloton, whether you're, there's a treadmill, whether it's a walk outside, listening to a podcast, listening to new music,

listening to an audiobook, doing something that removes your mind from our phone and laptop. We are just so stuck on these things because we work from them. There are social lives. They're literally everything. And it's really important to make sure you're starting your day detached from that. Giving your brain time to fully wake up to come into its own to be like, hey, you know, I'm doing this. Get those endorphins going, the dopamine going, the serotonin going, and pumping blood through your body. It sounds so simple, but I feel like it is so important and it's something that is so underrated that we don't talk about and that we don't do more. I recently have been really trying to work out more because I don't do it enough. And I was getting in a good routine and I found

myself. I'm clearly like emotional. I don't know why I cry a lot. Ask my husband. I definitely like am emotional and just cry a lot. It's fine. But I was taking a workout class and I just found myself like having such a moment of gratitude because I, it sounds silly, but I don't think my body enough for what it does for me. And as I was taking this workout class, I was just like, wow, what my body does for me. like I'm able to move. I'm able to lift weights. I just had this real like epiphany appreciation. I have, you know, I have a body that is able and that is functioning and I'm able to go take this Matt Pilates class, take this reformer class, go walk on the treadmill, whatever it is. I was just like, wow, how cool. And I have just been sitting on my butt feeding my body, junk food, not giving it the love that it deserves.

And in that moment, I was like, okay, I really am so thankful. And I see why people have been saying for years and years that working out is so good for your brain. Because it was just like this mental release of, wow, I'm so grateful and thankful for what my body can do. And the way I've been treating it, I really need to give it some love and attention and start getting a good workout into my routine. And even just walking outside, getting some sunlight. into my routine has made the world of difference. And I feel like that's a good reminder or a good motivation to work out. When you are working out, the mental benefits that you feel are truly so amazing.

And going into your workout with the mindset of you're doing this for your mind and not strictly for the physical change of your body, I think will truly just change the way you see the gym, the way you see a workout class, the way you approach workouts, the way you love your body, I think that it's so important to really view it as that when I work out now, I don't view it as I'm working out to, you know, grow my glutes, to get more abs, to get definition here, to do whatever it is. I'm working out because it is, it's like free time for my mind. It's like recess for a kid. That's literally what working out is for your mind. And that's why I approach workouts now.

I need to actually work out because I know that my brain is going to function so much better if I'm taking that time to prioritize my brain. Another way that I obviously love to prioritize my brain is therapy. You guys, if you've been listening to this podcast, you know how much I advocate for therapy just because I feel that it is so important to have a safe space to talk freely. I feel like I can talk freely with my husband. I can talk freely with my family. I can talk freely with my close friends.

I feel like I have super safe spaces where I could say the most absurd feelings and thoughts and I won't be judged. But that is great and that is important and that is definitely something that I would love for everyone to have as a safe space and a human. But in the same breath, I also feel that having a safe place where you can go and talk to someone who is actually not in your everyday life and you can really share something judgment-free and this person can give you real helpful tips that they have been professionally trained to give is so important. I chose function because it's the only health

platform that gives you access to the kind of data most people never see and the insights to actually take action. Inside function, you can tell you. over 160 biomarkers from heart and hormones to toxins, inflammation, and stress. You can also access multi-region MRI and CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. It's an enhanced view of what's happening inside your body. That's why top health leaders are all behind function. I am such a huge fan of function because obviously with my nursing background, I feel that it is so important for us to have access to actually what's going on in our body and what

our blood is saying, what is going on. And a lot of people don't know this until it's too late and they're in the hospital or they're at the doctor's office finally getting checked for something that's wrong. But we really need to focus on preventing things from getting to that point. If you were to do this on your own, it could cost over $10,000 easily. But with function, You pay $4.99 a year. That's $1.37 per day for cutting edge health insights. The lab visits are fast and convenient at over 2,000 locations across the U.S. All the results are tracked over time in one secure place, so you can see how your health evolves. Learn more and join using my link. The first $1,000, get a $100 credit toward their membership.

You can visit www. www.functionealth.com slash the squeeze or use gift code the Squeeze 100 at signup to own your health. This episode is brought to you by No CD. Have you ever had recurring unwanted thoughts pop into your head that you just can't shake? Maybe it's a concern about your health, a fear of something happening to a loved one, or a disturbing image that keeps replaying in your mind. If you can relate, you're not alone. These could actually be signs of obsessive, compulsive disorder or OCD.

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they are proud of you, it just, it trumps everything, anyone ever being proud of you. obviously your parent telling you they're proud of you is amazing your spouse telling you they're proud of you i'm words of affirmation so when taylor tells me he's proud of me i just simply melt and pass away um so hearing someone tell me that they're proud of me is something that i just absolutely love and need but there is something when you're therapist who literally knows the good the bad and the real ugly of your brain tells you that they are proud of you. you, it just, it, it, it just heals something. It heals something inside of you. And that is, there's just truly no better feeling. There's some things that I will share with my therapist that I won't share

with my husband, not because I don't feel like I can, but just because I, you know, I feel more comfortable sharing it with my therapist. And I know my husband's the same way. I know my friends are the same way. and I just think it's a cool space to really openly talk through your thoughts and your feelings and get a professional opinion and professional advice and help to give back to you. I recently was asked how I could or how this person should encourage their spouse to start going to therapy. They really felt like their spouse needed to go to therapy. they recently just lost someone in their family and they were like, how can I encourage my spouse to go to therapy without sounding like a nagging wife and forcing them to go?

This is something that I feel is really tricky because there is definitely still the stigma around therapy where it's a negative thing, where people feel like they, by them going to therapy, they're not strong. By them going to therapy, they are weak. They, you know, aren't capable of working through things on their own, that they, how pity them, they need that extra support. That is definitely stigma. We are still fighting because I believe that therapy should be all the time, no matter what you're going through, because you've got to do the work when you're happy and healthy and things are going good to be able to work through those hard times. But I think the biggest way is to have an honest conversation with your spouse. I think listening to them, observing them,

seeing if it's just something that you feel like they want because you maybe are tired of dealing with whatever they have going on and you just want to get it over with and you want them to go see someone else. Or if it's actually them and their actions and you see them withdrawing, you see them maybe acting out, lashing out, you see them not being able to regulate their emotions or asking you questions that you maybe don't have the answer to, I would just say if you're encouraging your spouse to go to therapy and they are not as willing and open as, you know, Taylor was when I was like, hey, you got to get in there, buddy. And he was like, great.

If they're not as open and willing to do that, I would just continue to love on them, to listen to them. not over, don't talk over them. Don't talk about therapy. Don't talk about them needing to see a therapist all the time. Really just be a listening ear to them and love them and support them and be there for them and make them feel comfortable with where they're at isn't an unhealthy thing. This person, you know, just went through a loss in their family or maybe your partner has

some childhood trauma. Maybe your partner is going through burnout at work. really just listening to them and coming at them with an honest conversation of, hey, I've been noticing this and you, you've kind of been acting this way or you've been acting like X, Y, and Z. I just want to check in and make sure you're okay and see how I can best support you or if you're wanting some extra support, I would love to help you find a therapist. Coming at it in a very calm manner that isn't lashing out at your part.

that isn't demeaning to your partner, coming at it in a true way of love and a sense of support and a sense of, hey, I want you to be the best version of yourself you can be, is actually the best way to go about that. And if that's something that you're struggling with, I really encourage you to start to take those steps to make sure that is the type of partner you're being for your partner. Another thing I want to touch on, and it's something that Taylor and I talk about a lot. and I actually overheard these two girls at lunch the other day talk about it. And I think there's a little bit of a misconception that I want to clear up.

Taylor and I talk about all the time how we have really learned to communicate with each other. And that's why we have a pretty healthy relationship. I heard these two girls talking and she was like, you know, we've gotten better at communicating, but we can't, we can't stop arguing. I feel like we're fighting all the time. I wish that maybe we're not meant to be together because our communication is good, but we can't stop fighting. Just because your communication with your partner is good doesn't mean you don't fight.

I want to make that loud and clear. It doesn't mean there's not going to be arguments. It doesn't mean there's not going to be disagreements or fights, whatever it is. It means that when you have those disagreements, those fights, those arguments, that you are able to get your point across respectfully. hear the other person's point of view respectfully and work towards a goal or outcome together that you can both agree on and love on and, you know, close the door, close the book on that argument with. Maybe it's a little confused. People get a little confused by it because

communication is, I feel, the key to a successful relationship because you need to know how the other person is, well, for me, for example, I needed to learn. how to communicate. I'm a horrible communicator. I need to learn how to communicate my emotions to my husband who is a very good communicator and very much knows his emotions. And when we would be in an argument, he would over-communicate his feelings. And I would under-communicate mine. And there would just be no resolution there at all whatsoever. But now that we've been together for so long, we've been in therapy, we now understand what the person needs in an argument. I need time to kind of think through my thoughts. Taylor knows his thoughts right away. And now that we kind of both know the other

person, when we do fight, which we obviously do, we're together all the time. When you're in a relationship with someone, you are going to fight. It is literally bound to happen. It doesn't mean you need to break up. It doesn't mean you need a divorce. It doesn't mean that you're not meant to be together. How you know if you're meant to be together or not, I truly feel is how you communicate through those fights. And I feel like Taylor and I have kind of been budding heads a lot recently because we've been on summer break and we have actually been together 24-7. I love the man dearly, but we have been together so much. And I kind of feel like we've been budding heads a little bit in this season of life. And it's how we communicate and work through those things. And I feel like after we work

through an argument. I love him even more, even if I was just pissed at him like 20 minutes ago. After we've communicated and we've closed the book on that argument, I love him even more because we just communicated through something and I felt like my feelings were heard and I was able to make him feel heard also. And it just gives your relationship a type of intimacy that I feel like those that don't take the time to hear the other person out, kind of miss out on. And I feel like that level of intimacy is so important in relationships. And that's what makes long lasting relationships kind of keep like that spark alive and that love for each other.

And you're just reminded of that person does love you and values you and actually wants to hear your opinion and wants to make you feel hurt as well. If you feel like you and your partner don't have good communication, um, you may be asking what would be the best way to start those steps to have better communication. I think maybe the first step would be for you to ask yourself, what kind of communicator am I? When I start to find my, when I find myself in an argument, am I one that knows my emotions? Or am I someone that maybe needs to take some time, starts to feel flustered when an argument happens? and I need to take some time to kind of re-center my thoughts and figure out what's going on.

Am I the person that when I'm upset, do I say I'm upset right away? Do I say what I'm feeling? Or do I harbor that in and do I kind of start to build resentment and I don't share because I don't like conflict? Whatever you are, I think it's important to figure out what you are first. in when you're in an argument, when you're in a disagreement, and then take some time to figure out what your partner is. I think if you've been together for a bit of time, it will probably be a little easier to figure out what kind of communicator your partner is. I learned very early on what kind of communicator Taylor was. And I also had to learn that when you're not a good communicator like myself and you're with someone that is, I found myself starting to

feel attacked when Taylor would bring something up to me. Not because he was attacking me at all. It was just because he knew his emotions and he knew how he was feeling and he was able to just say it to me. And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes. I don't know what's going on. I feel attacked. But in actuality, that's just how he communicates.

So that's kind of been how we have learned how to communicate and also really just trying to attack those disagreements and those arguments. as level-headed as possible and making sure when you are fighting with your partner that you're not making digs at them. I think that that has been a big thing in Taylor and I's relationship. When we argue, we do not say things out of spite or to poke at the other person because we know it's going to upset them. That is something that I am so grateful for in my marriage and something that I think a lot of people can bring into their relationships is, you know, if you do actually care about that person, you don't want to upset them.

And trying to remember that when you're in an argument like, hey, is what I'm about to say hurtful? And do I actually mean what I'm going to say, this is not an overnight thing. This has taken Taylor and I have very long time to grasp. We've been together for a long time. And I think that it's not something that comes overnight. So I think giving you and your partner grace and maybe having a conversation of, hey, like, that's focus on our communication and how we can communicate better and making sure you're not

coming at your partner with your claws out ready to attack, taking that moment to breathe. If you feel like the conversation isn't going in a positive place, take a pause and revisit it once emotions have calmed down. I think that's been the one good thing about me not being conversational is I don't want to talk right away. So I need to take some time and figure out where my head's at, what I think, what I'm feeling to really know what's going on. And with that, it takes some time for our emotions to kind of come down and we're able to have a fully level-headed conversation, even though we may disagree on something. So I think making sure you're taking those steps with your partner

will really help your communication and help your relationship thrive and grow. Another question I was asked recently is advice on showing yourself more love so that it's easier to expect the same from others. This is something I feel like we've kind of been talking about a lot on the podcast is when it comes to mental health, when our friend comes to us, let's say, and they're like, so sorry, like, hey, I've kind of been, I've kind of been struggling mentally. Right now I'm going through a little bit of a hard time. you're like, oh my gosh, don't worry about it. What can I do? Can I get you a coffee? Can I get you a smoothie? Do you need me to come over? Let's eat ice cream and watch movies. When our friends say that to us, that is how we respond. When we start to think that in our own mind, our first response is suck it up, buttercup, you're fine. This isn't real. Let's move on. It's not the giving grace and it's not the supporting. It's the you're fine. You need to get over this.

overreacting. There's things to do. You need to send this email out. There's so much going on and not giving ourselves the grace that we would give our friends. And I think that's a great reminder on how to show yourself more love and more respect is kind of looking at yourself in a third person point of view, being like, hey, if my friend did this and they came to me and they said these things and they were having these thoughts, how would I be there for them? How would I support them through that. And I think that's something that we need to then just kind of flip onto ourselves, be like, hey, I feel like I've really been struggling with anxiety lately. I wake up. I've been feeling super stress, heavy in my chest. I've just, I don't know. I can't get out of this anxiety

funk, whatever it is. What would you tell your friend? You would say, hey, maybe, maybe take a sick day. Maybe we need to go lay outside in the sun. Maybe we need to talk through something. Take that and turn it to yourself. Hey, maybe I need to wake up a little earlier and have some quiet time with myself with a cup of coffee. Maybe I need to journal. Maybe midway through my workday, I need to go step outside and lay in the sun for 10 minutes. Maybe I need to have a one-on-one night with my partner where we go to dinner or we watch a movie and we put her phones down. Maybe I need to go take a workout class. Maybe I need to talk to a professional. Having that point of view change onto yourself and start viewing yourself, start viewing yourself as someone that you love and care about,

I think is the first step in really training and teaching yourself how to accept the love that you deserve. I think that quote is from Perks of being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. And we are also worthy of true, deep love and respect. And we can't, we can't have that if we don't have that for ourselves. We can't expect other people, a life partner to have to be at that standard. If we're not at that standard with ourselves and making sure you're being kind and giving yourself grace when times are tough, just as you would, a friend, is the perfect place to start. Another question I got was how do I find community and relationships in a new place. This person had recently just moved for their job to a new place.

They didn't know anyone and they were asking me how to find community, how to find people that they can have a relationship with. As you guys know, community is a huge, a huge, huge, huge, huge thing that I believe in. And I think having human interaction with people is so important. And if that is you in that season in life, then in that season of life right now, I would just encourage you to try something new. Really step out of the box. And maybe it's going to a church that you have been wanting to try. Maybe it's going to a, you know, like a concert in the park. Maybe it's going to a music night at a coffee shop, seeing what events you have going on in your community. If your job is doing,

a little get-together if your school has a club that you're interested in, really just going out and trying to build those relationships because I can guarantee you, you are not the only one that is searching for community in those environments. People are always looking to build that interaction. And I think if you go out and take that step, even though it's really scary, you might surprise yourself. So the last thing I wanted to share with you guys, we announced it last week, but we are hosting our first ever mental health summit. I am literally, like, so excited. I cannot explain to you. We have been needy, been planning this thing for quite some time. And I'm just, I'm truly so excited. Like, I can't even express it. It's one of my favorite

things is community, which obviously I just talked about in this episode. But getting to share a day, talking about mental health and really opening up. up and diving into some important topics with one another in person is something that I am so grateful for and I just can not wait for. The summit is taking place on September 20th. It will be in LA. The location is on the website. I would love to see you guys there. Our speakers, you're probably going to recognize a few of them from this podcast, which I'm excited about. because you, it's just I couldn't have asked for better friends and better people to have on these panels, people that have gone through real life things and are using their platforms for good.

And also people that I know that you guys really just resonate with, you resonate with their stories. And I know that you are going to want to hear more. We have some amazing activations that are going to be happening at it as well. I don't want to get too much away. But let's just say we have some fun stuff planned. There's also some amazing goody bags from brands that I love and adore and believe in. And I can't wait to spend the day with you guys. I'm leaving a link down below in the subscription. If you take one thing away from this episode, let it be that you need to be at the summit. Tickets are on sale now. There is limited space. So make sure to mark your calendars, buy your tickets, secure your spot because when I tell you, you are really not going to

want to miss it. I'm not, I'm not lying to you. Well, it was so nice to get to finally sit one-on-one with you and chat. I was a little nervous about doing this because I've never done this before. And I see my friends do it all the time on their podcast and I was like, you know what, we're going to give it a shot. We are going to prop some cameras up. We are going to get the mic going and we are going to have some fun together. So hopefully I yapped your ear off for an hour. Hopefully you can like still think and hopefully I made sense. I'm going to listen to this back and be like that didn't make sense at all. But now that I love you guys and I hope you head into the rest of your week feeling loved and taking something from this episode and really putting it into action

into your life, I am so grateful and thankful that you are along with. me for this squeeze journey and I can't wait for you guys to come to the summit and be with us there but also for next week's episode it's going to be a lot of fun see you later please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode