The Squeeze - Tay & Tay Lautner: Taylor’s Version

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation  So glad you made time to listen. How’s life? Well, the Lautners’ lives just got that much more chaotic with the release of Taylor Swift’s music video for I Can See You (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) and their time at the Eras Tour. This week your hosts introduce a new segment, Tea Time with Tay, and give you a run down on all things T-Swift. It’s the Tale of 3 Taylors! They talk about those iconic flips on stage, the Spider-Man meme, Back to December, Joey King, and oh, so much more. Swifties, this one’s for you.    Ahead of the next few episodes, your hosts are then joined by Wondermind Contributor and Psychiatrist Dr. Chase Anderson to discuss suicidal ideation and how best to approach someone you think may be suicidal.   Follow Chase @ChaseTMAnderson  Please find resources, including BetterHelp, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, National Suicide Prevention Hotline, and more at www.lemonsbytay.com/resources  Thanks to our sponsors for supporting this episode:  Cymbiotika — Visit cymbiotika.com and use code THESQUEEZE for 15% off sitewide  Blissy — Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code THESQUEEZE to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/THESQUEEZE  To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to [e-mail]. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner.   To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to your rice-adviseur or sunnycars. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, We talk about it. Happy Wednesday or whatever day it is.

Lemon drops. And thank you for joining us today on the Ssquees. We are honored to have you. Yes, very honored. Today's going to be an exciting day. So exciting. Oh my gosh. Where do we start?

Yeah, I know. I mean, we have some very special guests today. It's your guys' favorite guess that we've had. Mine too. Yeah. Yeah. potentially also mine. Who are we having today?

Us. It's us. Again, we're back. We're your guess. We are it. Like it or not. Yeah. So sorry in advance if you're not happy about that one.

I think you're going to like it because we got some juicy things to talk about. All the juice. All the squeeze juice. I'll just give you a little clue. For those of you watching on YouTube right now, take a look at Girl Tay's shirt. That's all I'll say for now. You're very proud of that shirt. Yeah, I've been wearing it for like multiple days.

Have you washed that thing? Nope. Are you going to? I mean, at some point. Okay. Yeah, it looks good. It's actually very soft too. Like, it's nice, it's nice merch.

Great materials. Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell the people that are just listening. What's on my shirt? Oh, for people that are not watching. a girl Tay is wearing an ERA's tour t-shirt. I use.

Yes. That she hasn't taken off for four days now. I use indeed. Yeah. I'm proud of it. Very proud of it. Yeah, I can see that. Thank you.

Smell awful, but look great. No. If I had been sweating, I would have changed it, but I've just been, you know, around the house. Yeah. Not sweating. No. So it's clean still. All right.

Well, should we kick this episode off quickly with a citrus got real question? because we always forget to do it. And today I didn't forget. So I think we just should. Yeah, great. Let's do it. For our first time listeners, we start each episode with a segment called citrus got real. And I am going to pull a question, a random fun question out of this lemon jar.

Here we go. What do we got? Mm. Which vegetable is the meanest? Oh. Broccoli was the first one that came to mine. I don't know why. Broccoli, the bully?

Yeah, like a big head of broccoli. Uh-huh. Or... Or cauliflower. No. No? Cullflower is sweet. I would think cauliflower would be sweet.

Cuddly cauliflower. I definitely agree with the broccoli. I like broccoli, but... Yeah. Broccoli, the bully, just... It makes sense. Yeah. I got pulled it out of there.

That was a good shot. Yeah, that was. Yeah, I think I'm going to I think I'm going to stick and agree with broccoli. Great. Okay. I'm glad we were in agreements with that.

All right. Well, moving on to our second segment of the day, do you want to introduce this one to our lemon drops? I do. We have a new segment I'm so excited about because now that we're

trying to do some solo episodes, the two of us, we are introducing this new segment called Tea Time with Tay. Tea Time with Tay. Tazea. Where we are going to spend some time talking about things that are happening going on in our life, whether that be something fun, something exciting, therapy, things we've been dealing

with, or exciting stuff, newsworthy things. So we're pumped to bring that to you guys. This segment's also going to include fewer questions. We'll have you guys, you know, write and answer questions. If you need advice on, you know, how to handle something, we'll answer during this time. I love this. Yeah. Just, you know, it's our time to kind of just be with you.

Because we love having guests on and as helpful as our guest episodes are at the end of the day, we're doing this for you guys at home watching listening to this. So we want to be as available and helpful to you as we can. So I'm pumped about this new little segment. All right. I am too. get tea time with taste started. Yeah.

What are we tea in about? Yeah, so we're teaing about a little secret that we have been keeping the past few months. If you haven't heard or seen, my lovely, beautiful husband was in insane, insane, can I say it again, insane music video. for the wonderful, talented, can do anything she wants. Miss Taylor Swift, she is a freaking genius man. But he was in her music video, and they premiered it at her Kansas City concert,

and we got to be there. And it was just wild. And so many of you, so, so many of you have asked us to do a podcast episode talking about it, And we're going to answer some of your questions at the end. Can I just point out quickly? We've been flooded with requests to do interviews and talk about it in the situation and how it all went down.

And obviously we're honored, you know. Yes. We're very thankful for that. For sure. But out of respect to our relationship with Taylor, we just wanted to be able to dictate the storylines, the questions that were willing and not willing to answer. So we're super excited to tell you guys all about it and talk about it. It's an exciting thing.

Yeah. But yeah, we didn't, we did want to be able to give you guys the exclusive here on the squeeze. Yeah. And we're all about, you know, making things personal and making sure people feel safe. So me wanting to also make sure my husband. feel safe and not flooded with things. We're just doing it here. So the squeeze is getting the exclusive.

Yes. Yes, ma'am. Where should we start? Where should we even start? I mean, Friday in Kansas City was an insane, you know, magical day. Yeah. Just in general. It was one of the coolest experiences, and I've experienced some cool things.

Yeah. But I don't know what compares to that. evening. Yeah. It was really, really special. We had so much fun. It was so honored by the reception of all 70,000 people in the stadium. Yeah. And then shortly after everybody online, we've been very excited about this secret for the last few months. It's been so excited. Yeah. Like, this secret is literally bigger than any secret I'll ever have. Like, this is bigger than, like when we're pregnant and we're not telling people, like this secret will still be bigger than that.

Yeah. If we can keep this one, we can keep anything. Yeah. But yeah. Probably best. We've known how freaking awesome the video is for a while now. So it was just stoked for everybody to see it and just see the genius of blonde girl Taylor. Yes.

Because she is truly unbelievable. Yeah. She can do it all. and even, I mean, honestly, the most impressive thing about her is that she is such a genius and she does do it all, but you would never, you would never think so just talking to her. She's the most humble person I've ever encountered, and that is mind-blowing to me, and it just speaks to who she is as a person. So that's definitely the thing I respect about her the most.

But, man, she wrote, directed this entire video. Well, I do think it's cool too. A word that I think can't be used for a lot of people. I actually haven't ever used this adjective to describe someone before. She is collaborative, which I've never described anyone like that. But, you know, she doesn't need to be collaborative. She is a mastermind, you know. She can... She so easily could, with everything she does in life, just say, F you, clearly I know what I'm doing.

Yeah. I will dictate the terms. This is how it's going to be. Yeah. But she is the complete opposite of that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's been, like, really cool to watch. But, yeah, so last Friday, or two Fridays ago, the concert was just, it's, we've watched it. TikToks, obviously, when we've seen videos, but getting to be there in person was just insane. It is an insane show whether you are a Swifty or not.

Oh, yeah. The production, the dancers, the stage, that's huge. Her screen, the props, the costumes. The changes, the set changes. Yeah. It's like, how did that from? Oh, at one point, there's trees coming out, and then there's a house coming through, and there's stages going like this and it's it's a production it's another level yeah it's there's concerts there's shows and then there's the heirs tour yeah it's that's that's a very good way to describe it right yeah it's not wrong so something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals and as a couple has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys,

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No, you can do it on your lunch break. You can do it before work, after work. And it's honestly just, it's convenient. Yeah. It's convenient and they have great therapists. Yeah. And it'll just keep you accountable too. So we highly, highly encourage that you guys check out cerebral.

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See C-Sype for details. Get going on that therapy. Obviously, we knew the video was coming. And I was just filming, you know, the whole thing as I knew when. Blonde Taylor, girl. Yeah, blonde girl, Tay. Blonde girl, Tay. was going to be introducing it.

So, you know, I had my phone out ready as she was, I just felt like, I just literally, if you are watch, if you are like by the tent and you were looking at me, I was like filming and I was just like this. Like, I was so excited because obviously myself was a fan and I'm so excited for everyone to see it because I know how much they're going to love this video and love so many aspects of it.

Yeah. I was just pumped. And I'm, like filming as she's getting ready and we knew that it was going to be loud. But when Boite dropped from the ceiling, the sheer panic of screams that went through this stadium was like insane. I don't even know like I watched my recording back and it's like it's one of the craziest sounds I've ever heard.

Yeah. And it's tough for me to make it out because. I was backstage at the time. Yeah, I was still out in the audience. So I couldn't fully, I mean, obviously you can hear, but you can't fully hear, you know, what they're reacting to and everything. So I was a little bit unaware. I've, you know, seen the videos and stuff since then, but I don't know if they do it justice. Yeah.

Being there and the energy that the crowd had was insane. Like there, I don't even have words to describe it. It was just like pandemonium at its finest. It was the best thing. So that was just awesome. And everyone absolutely loved the video because that's great. So why wouldn't they love it? But getting to see, you know, you and Joey together rescuing Taylor.

Yeah. And just the whole story behind the video and the story. Yeah. Why she picked who was in the video. It's just very full circle and very just, it was very, it was very tender. It was just like a sweet thing. And then of course, the video ends. And she surprised everyone with bringing out the stars of the video.

So Joey came out, Presley came out, and then my husband came out. And let me tell you. He was nervous to get on stage in front of 70,000 people because who wouldn't be? I'm prepping him like before I can tell he's a little nervous. I'm like, babe, like, you're not going to, you don't have to flip. Don't worry. Like, you're not going to be flipping. It's fine because normally when he goes on stage with our friend Kane Brown, he'll flip.

And that's like their joke that they always do in the country world apparently expects him to flip every time. Yeah. It's a big one thing. So I was like, don't worry, you're not flipping. And I'm literally going, yeah, you're right, you're right. All I got to do is walk out on the stage and just say hi. Yeah, smile and wave, boss energy. You're just living the moment.

You're just going to live there. Yeah. And this man walks through the door, starts walking down the stage. And in the video that, did you post it? Yeah, it's in my reel. You hear me. I'm filming. He starts to do his roundoff.

literally go, oh no. Yeah, you hear her say it in the video. And he doesn't. It was great. And everyone loved it. Obviously, I knew you were going to land it. But I was like, I literally just spent the past... You don't know that. I literally just spent the last hour saying, it's okay, hand, don't worry. You're not flipping. You don't even nervous. You're just smiling and waving.

Just walk and wave. And here he goes. But he was not lying when he said it was not planned. The flip was not planned. Yeah. It wasn't at all. basically what happened is I walked through the door, you know, I waved to the crowd, and then I started walking. I probably took like four or five steps. Yeah. And I looked down at where Taylor, Joey, and Presley were standing. And this runway in her show like takes up 70% of the football field. Yeah, it's huge. It is the longest runway. And I think I

I think I panicked. I think I was imagining me having to walk that far. Yeah. And just, I got nervous. It was a panic flip. And for some odd reason, my brain gets nervous and freaks out about having to walk. So I go... What's the next best option to walking?

Flipping. Flipping, apparently. Yeah. So he flipped. That was not... Not only not planned. That was not planned. I'm glad I did it now because it would have been a long walk.

Yeah, would have been a long walk. Pretty tiring. I do want to point out. As Taylor's putting on a three and a half hour show and walks seven, eight, nine miles per show. Yeah. I do want to point out, though, that, you know, boy take grab the mic and said some of the sweetest things about girl blonde Taylor. And I think a couple things about that. One, what you said is so true.

We've both said it and we sound like a broken record and we're probably going to say it more this episode. But she truly is just one of the kindest, most genuine, humble people that we've met. And she has every reason to not be. Like if anyone were to be a jerk, it is acceptable for her to be one because of the level of fame that she has. But she's not. And it's just wild. So I do think, I just want to highlight that. that what you said is true, but also I do think it's really cool. This is something that I tell,

you know, my girlfriends when they're in relationships or people, friends of ours, you know, that are struggling with relationships. Something that Boy Taylor does for me and does, you know, showed on stage is how he respects women. And, you know, I've definitely been in relationships where I haven't necessarily been respected. And I do think that it's very, very, very much. And I do think that it's very important that you did this without knowing that, you know, that young girls hear a male talking about a woman like that because it's really important for us girls to know our value and to know how important respect is because having that in a relationship is a game changer. And yeah, it's just, you know, I had that for the first time with Taylor.

And yeah, it's just, I think it was really important. I think you said that not even knowing. that I think it would help other girls know that, you know, there's this celebrity talking about another person, like you sang those kind things about a woman. I mean, I kind of was, I started thinking about what I wanted to say in the tent, like before we went on stage. Yeah.

And at first I was like, honestly, I want to get up there. I want to brag about her. Yeah. Because I know she's not going to. Because that's not her. Yeah. And I want to brag about how freaking smart and talented this girl is. Obviously, everyone in the stadium knows that.

Yeah. But, you know, she's not going to say it. So I'm like, I want to brag about her. Yeah. Because this music video is unbelievable and she did all of it. Like it's all her. I want to give her the credit she deserves. And then I started thinking, you know, it's more important than all of the,

those things that I want to brag about, you know, about her is who she is as a person. Yeah. Because she is, you know, one of the most talented people on this earth. Yeah. She is an incredible singer, incredible songwriter, incredible performer. Yeah. Incredible director. Yeah.

Right. Like, we can go on. Yeah. But more important than all of those things is she is an incredible human being who is just so, so gracious and so humble and so thoughtful. And I was like, that's what I need to convey. Yeah. Like, if anybody doesn't know that, they need to know that about her.

Yeah. Yeah. And so well said. And I love that you, I love that you did that because she deserves it. Yeah. But, I mean, after the night, you were able to relax a little bit more. You and Joe, you were able to chill out a little after being. nervous about going on stage and her show is just, I'm actually, like, normally I don't record

songs at concerts because I, like, want to be there. I'm actually mad at myself. I didn't record the entire thing on my phone because the videos that I have, I'm like, this is insane. I'm wishing I had more videos so I can relive it in my mind. But we had so much fun. We had so much fun meeting a bunch of you trading bracelets. That was my favorite thing. getting up, you guys coming up as like changing friendship bracelets. Didn't you have somebody come up to you and say that they were a lemon drop? I did. Some girl who was so kind came up and she was like, I just have to tell you, I'm a lemon drop.

So cute. That literally means more to me than anything. Likewise. That means the world. So whoever you were, thank you very much. But I just, it was one of the highlights of my night. Obviously, the video and everything was great, but that was really cool. Yeah.

Knowing that someone is a lemon drop. And also knowing that, that name is sticking and that we approve the lemon drop name. Yeah. As our community. While we're still on this topic, a lot of people online have been praising you for just like how cool you are with the situation, I guess. just like how understanding and trusting and whatever

but ultimately just like how chill you are about you know you meeting hanging with an ex of mine that I'm working with and us all hanging together

like how are you able to do that? What I think so many people wonder like or that they're like I would never be able to do that. And I don't think I would be as good as you. So what, I mean, what is it? How are you able to be that cool?

I don't know. That's a good question. I mean, it definitely helps that, you know, Taylor is as nice as she is and so sweet and so respectful. And, you know, she's just a nice person. Yeah, she's disarming. Yeah, very disarming. Like, you just wouldn't know she was famous.

If you didn't know who she was, you would never know. And, you know, that's definitely a laid-back vibe is definitely our vibe. So, yeah, I mean, she makes it easy, but I don't, I don't know. Okay. Well, you don't need to answer. I would just like to say, thank you. I appreciate it. And so does the rest of her.

Of course, I'm here, I'm here to serve. I'm here for, I'm here for the Swifties. I feel like I'm the middleman. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I have a duty to be a voice for the Swifties. That's it. It's an important job.

Yeah, I am our outlet. There you go. Yeah, I love it. Should we go into some questions? Yeah. Should we go to audience questions? Yeah. Okay.

Dive in. Some questions from you Swifties out there. Thank you for the questions. This question says, it is no secret that T.S. fans can go absolutely

feral on her exes. How does it feel to be one of the few with a positive song? Horrible. I hate it. I'm kidding. It feels great.

Yeah. I think it's also just a testament to you as a person. I just realized I'm so wearing the priest. Shut. How have I not noticed that? How have I not noticed it? I think as I normally,

wear my bracelets on this hand. What in the world, Taylor? Come up that off. You're going to be in a coffin one day and still have that on your wrist. Unbelievable. Oh my gosh. That's hysterical. I'm literally talking like, oh, that's good.

Yeah. No, it feels... Oh, wait, no, this is what I was saying. Before I got distracted from my bracelet that's still on. I was saying that it's a testament to you as a human. that you are that human that she talks about.

You are so kind and I mean, I'm not going to go quoting the lyrics here, but... I have tan skin. Yeah. And a sweet smile.

Yeah. You're so good to me. Okay. We're done. All right. Next question. Okay. Next question is,

how did you feel when you were first approached with the treatment for the music video? I... was honored. I was surprised. It definitely came as a big surprise, and I was absolutely honored. I mean, I'm not going to go into too many of the details of our personal conversation, but I knew the moment she asked me to be a part of it, that it was a yes, just by knowing that everything she does turns to

goal. Yeah. She's that talented. Like, I knew whatever it was, whatever she was about ready to pitch me, was going to be something special. Yeah. But then when I actually read the treatment and saw the treatment, then I was like super duper soul. Yeah. This is going to be insane. Yeah. And it's just like so cool too that people get to see like this side of you. Like so many people were like, I didn't know he could do that. Like, just that you're, you know, you're 31 and you could still do all these freaking kicks and flips and spins and, well, it's impressive. But also, you haven't done any of that in years.

I know. I was worried. Like, yeah, he was stressing going into it. But I knew that he was going to be able to, Taylor's a time of a person that could not do something for 20 years and then try it and get it on the first try. The only difference was my body paid for. it. Yeah, you were a little sort of the next day. But yeah, for what I was called to do, my body showed up. But the next day, I was definitely feeling it. Yeah. So I think it was really cool

that people got to see you and, you know, maybe we'll get you like a little action film or something. I think another cool part of the treatment and the idea that made me even more super duper sold was like the meaning behind the video. Yeah. Like, you know, being. You know, being. Being a fan of hers, being somebody that respects her, being somebody that roots for her. Yeah. You, it's an honor to be a part of something that is a metaphor for, you know, her reclaiming her art. Yeah. Just everything behind the video and the meaning of it is like.

Well, I do want to like point out to when we did our, when we taped our first two episodes, this video hadn't come to fruition yet. So you genuinely saying you would go back and like handle the VMAs, VMAs, the Kanye thing differently? Like you weren't, you weren't just saying that because you had done this video. Right. You genuinely felt that. So I think it's really cool that, you know, you're not just saying,

I support her because I did this video. You like genuinely have been rooting for her and support her. Yeah. So I think that that's really cool too. Yeah. You genuinely just said that and meant it. I was honored. Honored to be asked and very impressed by the treatment and all the ideas that she had.

I knew she was going to kill it and she sure did. Yeah, really did. Next question. That's a good one. Whose idea was the Spider-Man meme? Hashtag iconic. Yeah, that would be GirlTay. Yeah.

But, you know, GirlTay just thinks of the content but never gets to post it. So it's okay. L-O-L. No, I did. You got to post a good one, though. I did, I did think about that when we were, I don't know, at some point when we were headed to film, I was like, wait, this is actually the funniest thing if we did, if we did this. Yeah. With the three tailors.

Yeah. Even before we got there and filmed, Girl Tay was like, we need to get this photo. Yeah. And this needs to be the first photo that we post. Yeah. Yeah. I was very proud of that. sidestepping to the first photo you posted was a throwback photo.

Like, it was a photo of the three of us and then swiped to a photo of you with Taylor in 2010. Yeah. A lot of the internet is very curious about your manifestations and what your secret sauce is. there's a hilarious meme going around of girl Tay wearing a Twilight sweatshirt when she's like nine years old and then a photo of us married and then a photo of her with Taylor

in 2010 and then her with Taylor on the set of the music video. Yeah. What's your tricks? I don't know why life is this nice to me. Like honestly, I had a moment this weekend when, I mean, even since then, I've definitely just kind of had to be like, wow, like,

this life that I live, I do not take for granted and I know and acknowledge how blessed I am because, like, I'm living people's dream. And I don't take that lightly. Like, I also feel like I have a job that I need for us normal people. I need to, you know, I'm the voice for us. But, no, I'm just, I'm just, like, honored. Maybe I'll do, maybe we'll do an episode on my manifestation techniques or something. That could be a good one. I do want to point out, though, that photo, our throwback photo of me,

Taylor, my friend, Alexin. Yeah. That photo was taken at the CMA festival in 2010. So we were actually backstage at the concert walking. And Taylor was about to go on or something and she was driving by in a golf cart. And we were wearing shirts by best friend made shirts that said Team Taylor on it.

So funny. Wow, I was Team Taylor, before I was Team Edward or Team Jacob. Wow. So I've just been Team Taylor because I'm Team You. Yeah, you're OG Team Taylor. That's funny. So she drives past us in the golf cart and me and Alexa are like,

Team Taylor, like with their shirts. And she was like, oh my gosh, stop the cart. And she literally jumps out of this golf cart before it's even stopped, runs over to us. And she was like, oh my gosh, these shirts are so cute. Like, did you guys make them? And like was just talking with us. And she hugged us both and was like, let's take a photo.

was just like so sweet. And that's literally still how she is. I was just going to say, nothing changes. That's actually still how she was. Like, people, I feel like she like can get crapping people from like, not thinking that like, her excitement when she's performing is genuine or not.

And like things like that. Yeah. This girl genuinely loves her fans. It's, it's wild. Like she genuinely loves everything she's doing and loves her fans and appreciates them so much. So thankful for it all. And literally 13 years ago, she's just as thankful for fans as she was 13 years ago.

Yeah. So I just want to point that out. Yeah. Next question. Did you guys have an existing relationship with Joey King? This is a very good question. And I don't know if a lot of people know this. But yeah, I have known Joey since she was, I don't know, however old she was when she was filming Ramona and Beezis.

Yeah. That's when I met her. And spent a good amount of time with her and just loved her then. She was, she also was the same, like the same human. But she was the funniest, most charismatic, awesome, coolest nine or ten-year-old in the world. And I loved spending time with her and her family. But after that, I, we did, I mean, I said, fell out of touch, she was nine or ten. We weren't in touch.

I don't think she had a cell phone. But I hadn't talked to her, seen her, I think, since. Yeah. So it was really cool, super nostalgic to be on set together and see her for the first time. You guys were filming by each other? Yeah, I was filming New Moon, and she was filming Ramona and Beezus in the same city. So this came out in 2010. So does that mean that I was with Taylor when you're with Joey?

Ramona and Beezus came out in 2010. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. So then New Moon, we filmed in 2009. That's when I would have met. Wow. So we were like hanging out. It was meant to be.

The universe really brought us back together. Funny. Yeah. Wow. I love that. But yeah. super cool to be back with Joey. Now we're besties. I'm hanging out with her tomorrow. There you go. I love her and her sister Hunter. She's great. They're just awesome. It was actually really nice because

you know, I had only met Joey at like on the set. Yeah. And I absolutely loved her. But, you know, you're going to like a concert. And, you know, when you're at concerts with other celebrities, you know, like sometimes they like they don't sing along. They're just like, they're just like, they're socialized, but I'm like, I'm there and I'm losing my voice. I'm singing every word to every song screaming. She's also. And when we walked in our little

room and met them there, her and her sister were in matching outfits with friendship bracelets up their arms. I like 50 bracelets on each arm. I was like, thank you God. And I was like, I'm just so thankful you guys are here because I need someone to say, I mean, you guys have seen the videos online. I had the

best time with them and their friends. And it literally could not have been like a better little group. It's true. Yeah, I was very thankful for that. Yeah, you all were very passionate. Interesting. But what are your thoughts on Back to December?

Can we talk about this? What are your thoughts on Back to December? It's a banger. It's a banger. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good song. It's a good song.

I like it. It's a nice song. I also like that it's the one nice song that is about my husband. Very nice song. That's good. I also like probably sang it as like, a 11-year-old, 12-year-old, probably, like, crying about a guy, the boy that I liked. Oh, wow.

I probably, like, really, you know, like, singing it was such conviction. Like, um... And what? Conviction. Okay. Um, sorry, I was trying to think of another word. Um, you know how it's like, like... It was like a convection oven.

A convection oven. A conviction of, like, all those memes of, like, you know, like, all those memes of, like, you know, singing these, like, songs as a, like, 10-year-old that are, like, a potential breakup song. I would, like, scream at the top of my lungs. Like, I had just been through the worst breakup. All your sixth grade pain. Yeah. Yeah.

Your boyfriend dumped you during recess, but from a note. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was BTD for you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I definitely sang that.

Next question is the moves you do in the music video are nearly identical. to the ones that you did in the SNL skit, intentional coincidence? Hmm. This is why we wanted to give the exclusive to the squeeze because I can simply just look at camera and say, I guess we'll never know. Next question. Next question is introducing an ex to your wife is a moment in and of itself.

What was it like for you to spend time with them both together, knowing that day is a fan? It was great. I mean, I know on paper it sounds like a, it sounds like a tough situation, but I not once was ever worried about it. Because, I mean, we're just, me and Tay, confident in our relationship. Tays the coolest, chillest person ever. She also is a diehard fan of that person. and a blonde girl, Tay, is the sweetest human being on earth.

Yeah. So it kind of was just a perfect situation. Yeah, it's fun. That's great. I love it. Let's run it back. Next question. Tay, you've mentioned the guy who plays Jacob in Twilight,

and Taylor, your husband, that's me, are two different people. Is Taylor Swift, the superstar, a different person, from Taylor Swift, your husband's ex, and your now friend. For sure. Yeah. I definitely think that applies here. Yeah, obviously, like, now, knowing her on a personal level is just like,

not that she is a different person on stage or whatever versus, like, when she's in private, but there's just like, she's just like a friend. Like, it's just, it's so, like, easy and laid back. And, I mean, I said it before, you would just literally never know talking to her that she is who she is if you didn't know what she was. Yeah. It's just fun. And I love meeting people like that that are just so, like, laid back.

And you can just have genuine conversations with them. And she's cracking jokes. She's hysterical. And it's just, it's been so fun to get to know her. And, you know, I love having people. people like that in my life and in our life. So, you know, I feel really thankful to be able to call her a friend and, yeah, have her part of our life.

Very well, so. Yeah. Sweet. Well, I think, I think we may be answered all the questions. Oh, I do want to know. Final question here from a fan. What are your three top Swift song? Oh, no.

Mm-hmm. I'm putting you on the spot. We weren't going to ask this question But I just did Because I wanted to put her on the spot Oh no Top three Swift songs Go

Can I grab my phone? Sure Okay thank you We'll allow it Okay Oh wow I feel like my life is on the line right now I know

Take this very serious I do think my at the moment Favorite Okay Wow You're struggling I'm gonna go with my favorite At the moment right now

Do you know any Swift songs Shush my favorite, my number one right now at this moment is cruel summer. Okay. It's so popular answer. It's screaming in my car. It's such a good song. Yeah, it's a pop.

It is a pop. Can I just say my favorite one as of the moment? Oh, yeah. It's a song called I Can See You. Okay, yeah, that's true. I guess that's a good answer. Frick, that should have been my answer. Maybe that'll be my number two answer.

Okay, there you go. Because I do like the song. And I do feel like hearing the song and then now watching the video, you hear the song in a different way, which I think is super cool. Yes. I totally agree. Yeah. So why don't you go, that's your two? Uh-huh.

I'll go my two now. Uh-huh. And we can't like repeat answers. Okay. And we'll do like each of our top five. Okay. But we can't repeat answers. Top five?

Oh, like we can't have the same one included? We'll see how it goes. Okay. I know what your number two is. You do? Yeah. Do you? Uh-huh.

Because I can't decide right now. Yeah. I think I know how it is. The Bon Iver song? Yeah, exile. Exile. Yeah. That song is so good.

Yeah. Sure. I'll go with exile. Yeah. I do really love that one. Okay. Number three. Yeah.

Midnight rain. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, you stole that for me. You can say that's okay. No, I won't. I won't.

It's a great song, though. I'm going to go enchanted. Okay Classic And then by number four Probably Long Live Yeah Wow you got to see that live

I did That was long live was our Surprise song Yeah Number four I'll go Wow Man this is tough

Ah The one All right Go ahead This is your last one Oh my gosh This one's the number right now All too well

Time-minute version. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. Oh, I feel like I'm looking at all the names and I miss some, but we're sticking with it. I know. For my last one, I'm going to go with one of her other new vault tracks, timeless.

Yeah, that's a really good one. Great. Well, I'm actually surprised you didn't say the Emma one. When Emma falls in love? Uh-huh. Yeah, we have to see that, too. You like that one? I do like that one.

I think a lot of her vault tracks are fantastic. Yeah. Timeless, Emma, crumbling castles. Is that what it's called? Yes. Right. That's right. I don't know.

I'm bad for names. Okay. Well, don't destroy me if it's not anyone. But taking it out long to find, I got the album saved right here. I'm on, I'm on, this is Taylor Swift on Spotify. So it's like all. songs. And no.

Castle's crumbling. Castles crumbling. Oh, yes. I said crumbling castles. Thank you. And of course I can see. Well, they have a listeners. That's been tea time with day.

That is tea time of tay. Wow, that was fun. Tea time with Tay. Talking about Tay. Talking about Tay. Tay, Tay, Tay, Tay. The tale of three tailors. The tale of three tailors?

Yeah. Taylor cubed. Taylor Cube. That's become a thing. Yeah. So thank you guys for your questions. Well, we'll hit you up next time we need some more. As always, you can follow us on Instagram at The Squeeze.

And we do question boxes on our stories all the time, asking for, you know, prompts, ideas, guests, all these things. Hit us up on there. You can always comment on our videos at The Squeeze. Make sure you subscribe while you're there. I'm on TikTok too. Huh? Drop my talk. I'm not.

I didn't even say either of us. Oh, what were you saying? I was saying the Squeez's YouTube channel. Oh, sorry. I'm trying to run my TikTok. Well, I mean you got to start posting on there. Guys, follow me on TikTok. I'm on the talk now.

Yeah, you are. We're getting better at posting. Yeah, I'm going to become more consistent. I promise. Oh, also, you can email us at weltoner.com for all of your questions, comments, concerns. And now, tea time,

of day, questions, advice, things that you want to talk about. So at this point in time in our episode, we're going to take a little moment. We had the honor of interviewing Dr. Chase Anderson to talk about suicide and suicidal ideation and things of that regard. Our episode for next week is absolutely insane.

You guys are not going to want to miss it. And a few other ones that we have set to air over the next couple months have to do with suicide in that topic. And, you know, I wanted to make sure that us as host, you as listeners, just kind of like talk through the basics of, you know, what is suicidal ideation? What exactly is that? How do you have a conversation with someone who's suicidal? What are some common myths about it? So we wanted to just like take the time and kind of like lay some groundwork heading into these next few episodes because it is such an important topic. We wanted to make sure that we don't want to take lightly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We wanted to make sure that we wanted to make sure that we. We were all equipped for it because as Emmanuel Osso said on our episode, we are the suicide hotline. Obviously, there's 988 and there's a crisis line. But, you know, us as friends, as family members, as teachers, as coaches, as coworkers, you know, we are that hotline for people, quote unquote hotline for people.

So just kind of equipping us to be able to have those conversations with people, how to approach it, how, you know, just everything that is kind of, circulating around the topic of suicide is suicidal thoughts. Yeah. So I hope you guys enjoy this. It's super helpful. He's great. And, you know, we're just honored to have sat down and talked with him. But as we head into these next few episodes, I think it's going to be great. Yeah. Well, Chase, let's just get right into it. I think a good place to start would literally be like by definition. What is suicidal ideation? Yeah. So suicidal ideation comes in many different forms for different people. In the way that we in psychiatry and psychology, mental health,

think about suicidal ideation is it's the wish to want to die or not to live anymore. And that actually is broken down into different categories. So there is active suicidal ideation and passive. And the way I describe it to kids that I work with is I say that like passive suicidal ideation is like, oh, if I got it by a bus, I wouldn't mind. Or if I didn't wake up tomorrow, I wouldn't mind. and then active is more like I have plans to actually do something. And what that comes with underneath is actually thinking about intent.

So somebody can have like active plans of like, oh, I actually have this image in my mind of how I would end my life. But then they might not have intent behind it. They might be like, oh, this thought is really disturbing to me and I don't want to follow through on it. Or if they have intent, then they can be like, I actually am going to take steps towards this. So that's how we think about it. Oh, wow. That's a very simple way to break that down. Yeah, it makes sense.

I'm already feeling like I understand this. So much more. Okay, next one is what are some warning signs that someone may be contemplating taking their life? Yeah, that's an excellent question. And the way I think about it and the way that we think about in psychiatry is, first, have there been any big changes in mood for a person? Like, are they becoming more withdrawn, or are they getting more withdrawn?

or are they getting more irritable? So a lot of people think of depression as like, oh, somebody is just like in their room and they're by themselves and they're withdrawn from society. That actually isn't the case. There's a lot of people who are moving in the world with suicidal ideation all the time.

And so sometimes what you notice are like they can become more irritable towards people. They are a little bit shorter with people. They might actually become withdrawn. They might be more tearful than usual. Like things that wouldn't affect them seem like they're affecting them more. Those are some of the emotional things that we see.

And then if you notice big changes in patterns of behavior, like somebody isn't coming to events that they used to go to, or they are like doing certain things where they are saying like, oh, well, like, you know, if I wasn't here tomorrow, those kind of things. So those are some of the things that we think about. And then you always want to think also about like, has somebody gone through a history of a recent traumatic event, have they lost a relative, have they lost a relative,

Have they lost a relative to suicide or a friend? Have they had some other big major life shift? Because even things like finances or like a recent breakup, those can be things that can cause somebody to become more depressed or anxious. And then suicidal ideation can come out of that as well. What are some questions that, like, let's say a friend of mine, I'm worried about them, that they are, that they may be suicidal. what would be a good question or how would it be best for me to approach them?

Yeah, I really love that question because as we know in society, there's still a lot of stigma when I'm talking about suicide and suicidal ideation and even how we talk about suicide needs a lot of work. But what I always talk to people about and what we think about is what is making you worried. So first, being reflective of like what is making me as a person worried about somebody I care about? or somebody that I know or some of it I see. That way, when you go into the conversation, you can have that as an example and say, like, hey, like Christina, I notice lately that, like, sometimes you've been a little bit more tearful

or, like, more withdrawn from some of the things that we've gone to and, like, events that you usually would have gone to. Is there something that's going on? Because I'm here as a space for you to talk about that. And then what you actually want to do is actually ask specifically about suicide in suicidal ideation, there is thinking, or there was thinking back in the day that if you brought up suicide with somebody who didn't have suicidal ideation, it actually might cause suicidal ideation. The studies have shown that that's not true. That's played out over multiple studies over multiple

years. So it is okay to ask people. And so then you would say like, hey, Christina, I'm wondering, have you had any suicidal thoughts recently? That's how you actually can be direct at that point. Yeah, I mean, that's so true. I don't want to give away who our guest is next week, but our guests that we have on next week, he was just wanting one person to come up to him and ask him. Like literally just straight up ask him if he was thinking about it. If one person shows that they care, I won't do it.

Yeah. So, I mean, that's just like proof is in the pudding there with that. Yeah. This may be a tough question or not. I don't know. But then what should you do if someone, straight up tells you they are contemplating suicide. Yeah, that is a nuanced question, and I appreciate you asking that.

The first thing to do is breathe, because that can make, just hearing that, can make other people who are hearing it really nervous, because this is somebody you care about. This is something that maybe you haven't heard of other people experiencing or you haven't lived through with somebody else who's actually experiencing suicidal ideation. So the first thing is to breathe. and the next thing to say is like I'm here with you. Then you kind of have to figure out and what you would think about is how safe is that person.

They're famous actors, there's psychiatrists, there are teachers, there are all types of people living with suicidal ideation. Just because someone has thoughts about suicide does not mean they want to act on them does not mean that they are unsafe. So figuring out how safe does that person feel if they say, like, hey, I'm actually struggling a lot. Then you have to think about, like, how do we get you to the emergency room if necessary? How do we, there's an actually crisis hotline, and it's 988 is the number. The other way is sometimes we say call 911, but given like how sometimes police are not able to handle some of these events as readily as like a mental health professional, 988 is what we recommend people call.

and then let's say the person is feeling overall safe. Then you ask, like, do you have a safety plan? It's a plan that sometimes is built in case somebody does have suicidal ideation of, like, people to call if they feel like their ideation is getting worse or if they feel like their mental health is getting worse. The other thing is asking, do they have a psychiatrist and have they talked to them or therapists and talk to them? If they don't, that is, I honestly, like, I think we're on a, like, talking about mental health.

I think everybody should have a therapist. It's helpful. Agreed. Yeah, like, it's great. Yeah. But those are some of the questions I would start by asking. So first, like, taking a breath and then asking how safe the person feels and how, like, thinking to yourself, like, are there any alarm bells going off?

Like, even if somebody says, yes, I'm safe. Usually people are very honest when you do ask them and if they tell you. But always thinking about, like, how safe is the person actually. And, like, do I have an. alarm bells going on. The other thing is don't worry alone. So asking them who they've told and who is aware in that situation. So like sometimes I work with kids mainly and so do their parents know?

Do any teachers know? Is there anybody who can lay eyes on them if necessary or keep them safe if necessary if something like gets worse in the like coming days? And if they do feel safe and are safe to go home and like, safe to be by themselves, then checking in later on is also important too. Yeah. Those are great. That's helpful.

Yeah. What are some short-term and long-term ways to support people after that? Yeah. I really, all of these questions are amazing. So the first thing I would think about is what do they need in terms of checking in? sometimes when we hear about something having suicidal ideation or we hear about somebody having depression, the fact that they're telling you means that they probably lived with it for a long time. And they maybe have coping skills and strategies that are already very effective for them.

And it's just like something new happened. Yeah. So asking what ways do you want me to check in on you? When I've had friends who have had suicidal ideation, starting with that question gives them power back in the situation. So then they're not like, oh, Chase is going to go and take me to like the hospital right now if I don't need to go to the hospital. Yeah. And that that also happens with kids. Kids are very scared to talk about this.

So asking them what would be helpful for them. Like, do they want a weekly check in? Do they want a daily check in? Do they like, do they want to be texted? Do they want to be called? Because one thing to remember, too, is that if somebody's living with suicidal ideation, that's only one piece of who they are. That's one slipper. And then the other thing that I would think about for short-term and long-term check-ins overall, too, is that it is not somebody's job to take care of somebody who's living with suicidal ideation.

That is something that you need a trained professional for that. This does not mean that you asking questions and you being there for somebody isn't immensely helpful and potentially life-saving. However, that also then brings you into a situation where you might not feel equipped and might not have the skills to actually help the person through everything that they're going through. So also thinking about yourself as we go through these short term and long term things as well as important. And the other thing with short term is not only asking them how they like to be checked in on, but also just taking a moment for yourself. This might be something new for you to hear about somebody you care about. So also thinking about your own emotional capacity and your own emotional bandwidth, too, is important. In terms of long term, it's some of the things we've talked about before a little bit,

but thinking about, does the person have a therapist? Do they have somebody that they can talk to openly about this? Do they have a psychiatrist? Do they maybe need medications that will help them? No medication, like, unfortunately, like sometimes that can lead to remission for people, but if somebody's experiencing things like racism or, like, discrimination, no Lexapro was going to fix all of that. However, I wish it was. I would be giving that to everybody. But what it can do is give people breath where they can actually, like, when they have a

suicidal thought, with lexicro, with other, like, antidepressants or medications that are prescribed by a psychiatrist or a mental health professional, those things can give somebody a breath from, like, when they have a suicidal thought, they can be like, I don't have to follow through one of us. This is a thought. And it gives you room to actually engage in therapy in the ways that you need. So building coping skills and things like that is also important for long term. Yeah. Those are some things I would say around that. I can dive in more if you want. Those are great. Thank you. Those are awesome. Thank you for work. I do have a question. Do things like depression, alcohol, drug use, or previous suicide attempts increase the risk?

of suicide. Yeah, those are things that increase the risk. The other things that also increase the risk is sometimes genetic predisposition. There's something that we think about. So if there is somebody in your family who has had a history of depression or other things that can make you more predisposed. However, they're showing in studies that genetics only play one part. So it's also societal factors too. So sometimes let's take, for example, like LGBT.

cute bus kids, especially transgender youth right now. They are going through an immense amount of stress because of anti-trans laws that are going across the country. Now, if those trans kids who were like had parents, maybe who have depression or suicidality in their past, if they weren't exposed to those things that America's doing to them right now, they might just have regular, happy normal lives. However, the like societal impact actually can activate basically, like the stressors and then lead to suicidal ideation. So it's not only alcohol and substance use and depression, anxiety, there's also like other societal factors to you and having a family history of suicidality or like going through certain stressors as well. So that's a really excellent question.

Okay. Yeah. That's good to know. I think the other thing to think about is what happens in the media and what we see a lot is reducing suicidality to one thing. Like, oh, this was why they became suicidal. and either attempted or they suicided. That is actually inaccurate. It's reducing something that's a very complicated issue to one thing because we want a solution instead of thinking it the multifactorial nature of it. Yeah. Good point.

Yeah, that is. Yeah, I feel like I've just recently learned, I think just because we've been talking about a lot more, but just like about that suicide, like suicidal thoughts isn't just like one thing like after like you attempt like if there's a failed attempt like you could still have those thoughts and our guests that we have on next week he was like I'm like chronically suicidal I was like I had never heard that before and like yeah not about that so I just feel like I've learned a lot of that it like was a one time thought that you attempted and failed and you know

if you overcome it you overcome it and you'll never you know struggle with that again yeah it's like No, so, so many people out there deal with. No, I'm going to live with that the rest of my life. I just have the tools now to overcome it. Yeah. Yeah, those are excellent points because I work with a lot of kids who have chronic suicidality. And so it doesn't mean that they won't get better.

It doesn't mean that we can't figure things out. It doesn't mean that there isn't hope. However, part of working with suicidality is saying that, like, there are problems that you feel like you can't solve. and suicidality has come up because of it. So let's work on that and also be able to sit with when you have that thought,

it does not mean you have to follow through on it. Yeah. I mean, question for you is like, what do you wish people knew about living with chronic suicidality? Like thoughts that, you know, that maybe no one's asked or not wanting to ask. He's scared to ask.

Yeah. So just being open and I'm pretty open in my articles I write. I live with a history of chronic depression and suicidality with two suicidates when I was younger. And so I'm in remission now and, like, very fortunate to be in remission. And I think the thing that people don't ask me about, because I think it scares them and they also don't want to open me up too much, is what is it like to live with suicidality in the first place? Like, what is it actually like? We talk about it in general terms, but I think for people to delve is really hard. and I remember when it first started

when I was in seventh grade and I felt alone. I was in a classroom and I've been going through bullying and things like that for being gay and being black. And I remember I felt alone in that moment even though I had friends,

even though I was doing really well academically. It felt like I moved into a separate world or was like living in two worlds at once where like I had to outpace my mind that was trying to kill me. And then I also like had to present a, like very perfect image. And it felt like I was drowning,

like drowning in like chaos almost, even though it looked like perfect in a lot of ways. So I think that's what it felt like and I was drowning and I didn't know how to swim. And now when the suicidality comes up, I know very quickly like what's going on and how to navigate it. And so I'm like, oh, get your floaties on. Like it's time to get through this. But I think asking people,

what is it actually like for you? Because it'll be different for each person. Like some people say it's like they're being. consumed by fire or like it's a sense of overwhelm in a lot of ways and you're trying to outthink your mind in a lot of waste yeah yeah i mean as you were speaking about that i guess i've never like we talk so much like generally from like a third person perspective of like she feels this they feel that whatever it may be but like it's never like i've got like it's never from a first person point of view so yeah maybe that's what we need to start you know hearing those things and

I'm asking those things more because it just brings a totally new light to the topic and a whole new angle to it. Do you have any other questions? No, I think just thank you for sharing that with us. And we'd love to have you back on to dive deeper into all of that because you're doing some awesome things in the world. But yeah, just moving into our next episode, we just kind of wanted to have this little recap discussion. before going into it next week. And you were the best person to do that with. So we really appreciate your time.

Yes. Well, thank you both for having me on. It's really a huge honor. And it was lovely meeting both of you. Oh, my gosh. Well, this is hopefully, hopefully it will come squeeze with us again. But Chase, thank you. Thank you so much.

And happy Wednesday, everyone. Happy Wednesday. See you next week. See you next week. Thank you so much for squeezing us into your day. please be sure to rate, review, and follow our pod and check out full episodes on YouTube. You can follow me at Taylor Lautner, my lovely wife, at Taye Lautner. Check out The Squeeze on Instagram at The Squeeze.

And also give a little glance and a follow to Lemons by Tay. That's at Lemonsbytee on Instagram and lemonsbytea.com. And also be sure to email us, Lapner. the squeeze podcast at gmail.com if you guys have any questions, any guests you'd like to see. We've gotten some interesting email so far, which has been awesome. But most importantly, please continue to talk about your journey with those around you and send our show to a friend that you think could use a little extra squeeze in their life. Absolutely.

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