The Squeeze - Taylor Lautner: Fame is a Drug

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

TW: body dysmorphia   In this episode, Tay Lautner interviews her husband and co-host, actor Taylor Lautner, as the two discuss growing up in the limelight, body image, and men’s mental health. They touch on Taylor’s hiatus from the entertainment industry and explain why fame felt like a drug to him; one that would be healthier to abstain from, but would be rough before it got better. All of his wife Tay's experiences with mental health struggles prior to her own were with men in her life, so it is important to both of your hosts to destigmatize and openly discuss men’s mental health. In particular, the two touch on body image battles, an issue often attributed to only women, and offer words of encouragement for the men out there struggling. Lastly, Taylor tackles the Lemon 11 segment, during which he opens up about his massive misinterpretation of “that” moment at the 2009 VMAs. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at The Squeeze — we talk about it.  To send us your questions or share your story, you can email [e-mail].   Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast, and subscribe on YouTube so you don't miss an episode! Plus, you can follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner. To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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or sunnycars. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, We talk about it. Everyone, welcome back to another episode of The Squeeze. And by another, I mean our second episode ever, I'm so excited. I'm here with my lovely, beautiful, talented, amazing, stunning co-host, my husband.

Wow. Mr. Taylor Lautner. Thank you, Taylor Lautner. We are also joined by our dog. If you're watching this. She can't decide which Taylor she wants. She keeps going back and forth. to our couches. Okay. Okay. She'll just go there. Yeah. By the way, this is exciting. It's our first time having

our headphones. Headphones and a coffee table. I am going to be asking Taylor some questions. Yeah, how you feel? How do I feel? Yeah. Nervous. I think you'll be all right. Yeah. I'm not really sure what's coming my way, but buckle up, boy. Muckle up. My also do you want to disclose that Also for those of you that are watching this, last episode, I was in full on outfit. I will be dressed in sweats and sweats suits and those types of things from here on out. So, yeah, I just didn't want to mislead anyone there. Don't worry. I'll dress up for you.

Yeah, Taylor's a little fashionista. That'll a little well. Okay. You ready? Okay. Let's do it. Let's get started. Okay.

So, of course, I kind of did some research. I knew most of it, but I did some research. Did you do some research on me? I did. Oh, my. Just, I had to get the full, I had to encompass everything. I already knew like a chunk of it.

But I just needed a little refresher. But as I was doing it and just thinking about you and your life and the person that you are, I like got emotional at 8 a.m. sitting at my desk just because I'm so proud of you. And this is literally what you kept saying last episode and I'm literally just going to keep repeating it. you now? People listening and watching are just barfing. I know, they're like, like, we get it. You like each other. You're in love. You're married. But on a serious note, the person that I met five years ago blew me away. I didn't know men like you existed. And now sitting here literally five years later, I didn't, I didn't even think you had room to

grow. And here you are living life to your fullest potential. And it's just awesome and encouraging to myself to keep growing. And I'm so proud of you for putting in the work. And just like trusting the process and working through some stuff. And it's been so fun to watch you and encouraging and just I'm pretty. Thank you, baby. I kind of done it with you. without you. So I want to start this, I guess, basically like when we first started dating, so five years ago. When we had first started dating, you had flown to London to film the last season of the show Cuckoo you were doing out there. And then after that, you came home and you basically took like a, what was it, like a three, four year hiatus from work from the industry. Yeah.

Was that planned? Was that planned? Like, did you intentionally get home and you were like, now I'm done for a bit? No. It wasn't a decision that, like, I got home and I was like, I'm done. Like, I'm not going to work for the foreseeable future. I think it was more so realizing and in real time learning what more there is to life.

because, you know, for so long, you know, I started, I started acting when I was eight years old. Yeah. And then through school and certainly my teenage years and even into my early 20s, it was just nonstop, go, go, go, filming, promoting, working, which I'm so insanely grateful for. but I think it just took having a moment to slow down and not to butter you up, but, you know, meet, you know, the love of my life and just like the simple things. You'll understand this when I say it, but just like, you know, meeting you, having like our first dog, my first child, my doggar, just stuff like that, meeting the love of my life's parents and, you know, being like, wow, this is going to be my family for the rest of my life. Just stuff like that that I never fully got to experience before. And I think it just took realizing that there's so much more to life that I wanted to sit back, relax, and enjoy, and just soak in fully. So I think that just kind of happened. I've been working nonstop, haven't been

able to focus on these types of things. And I think that's important. So yeah, it wasn't, I didn't plan it. I think it just took having to get to that next chapter in life for me to be like, okay, you know, working has been great. I'm going to get back to it. But for right now, I want to learn some things that I haven't really been able to in life. Yeah, I definitely feel like when we first started dating, a big thing that you talk about is like going to the grocery store. You go to the grocery store more than anyone I know. But we would go to the movies and you're like, I don't remember the last time I went to the

movies or I think we went to like the mall or something. Yeah. And I was just going on the mall. And you were like, I don't remember the last time I stepped foot in the mall. Yeah. And terrified. Like when we did, it was like, movie. theaters and malls. Yeah. I went to a couple amusement parks, but movie theaters and malls were two

things that I hadn't done literally in a decade. And it brought me so much anxiety. Yeah. Whenever the first time we went to a mall was, yeah, you were like, yeah, I was here last Tuesday. I was like, I was here in 2009. Yeah. God. And it was terrifying. And it's simple, stuff like that that I hadn't done for so long that it took me just having to step outside of my comfort zone to do and realize what I've been missing out on. Yeah. Like, my gosh, a movie theater is so much fun. My gosh.

A grocery store. I could spend two hours in a grocery store. This is so relaxing. I mean, you get close to that sometimes. Yeah, no, I do. I love a grocery store. I get on every aisle. Take my sweet old time.

You do. Because obviously there's like the mental aspect of fame, the spotlight, all that stuff that we have, you and I have talked about that you've kind of started to talk about publicly. Taking that time off, did you realize anything about yourself? Or was it just more this is what normalcy is like? I guess like, for example, you talk about fame being a drug for lack of a better word. Yeah. We have it and it's taken away from you. Yeah.

It could be really dangerous. When you took that step back and you weren't in the spotlight anymore, you were dating a normal person that literally had nothing to do with that. We just literally sat at home and ate Mexican food for good. That sounds good to me. A good portion of our early stages of dating. Yeah. Did you see that that had any negative effect on you? Or did you just feel like the break was just like, oh.

Because I know when I, either if I meditate or if I take time to sleep, slow down, then like thoughts creep in. Yeah. Like new ones that I never knew were there. Cropton, did that ever happen to you at all? For sure. I think if I were to compare it to anything, I feel like it's similar to if you're an addict in any way, whether whatever it is, alcohol, drugs.

Like you know that it would be healthier for you to get off. of it. But when you pull the plug on it, it's going to be rough before it gets better. And fame is just like that. Yeah. Yeah, you know this because we've talked about it a lot. But fame is a, it's a dangerous thing. It brings you to the highest of highs and brings your dopamine levels to just the extreme, you know, going, traveling the world and having people scream your name and just like, you know. Rip your clothes off and rip your backpack off your back and all the things. Yeah, it makes you feel, quote, if you're listening, loved. And it makes you feel good. It does. And valued too. I guess like, it's probably where that's like, not that you're intentionally doing it,

but you probably definitely found value in that. Yeah. No, it makes, to feel appreciated and loved and respected. And it's a great feeling. But I knew that I knew there was other things in life to experience. And it did require me taking a step back from that to be able to, you know, pursue those. And I think it is dangerous when you get, you have something like that that is that impactful ripped away from you. Yeah. And I think it definitely, you know, took a bit of a toll on me where it was a new thing.

It's like, okay, so I'm, you know, going to go to a restaurant or wherever and not have photographers following me around all the time. You know, I'm going to not be on a set every, you know, six months. Like, it's, yeah, I think it definitely got worse before it got better. Yeah. But, you know, yeah, I mean, jumping to the next chapter, I wouldn't have changed it for the world because I think it was the right decision for me. But yes, like anything else, I think when you get off of something, even though you know in the long run it's going to be better for you, it was challenging. Yeah, that was going to be my next question is, would you take it back? Would you change it?

Would you do anything about it? Because I know I get asked that a lot about nursing. And I'm like, heck no. Like I want to do it all over again, maybe even a little worse, not knock on wood. But I wouldn't be sitting here. We wouldn't be doing any of this if it wasn't for that. Yeah. No, no, absolutely not.

I mean, I strongly believe that no matter what anyone has gone through, that is, that's what has made you who you are today. And that's for the better because you're beautiful. who, how you are today in the ups and down, the highs and lows have really just shaped the person that is standing here today. So something as you guys know that has been a huge part of my mental health journey, Taylor's mental health journey journeys as individuals, and as a couple has been therapy. Amen. And that is why I am so excited to share our next sponsor with you guys, which is cerebral. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support 100% online. You'll experience the all new

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Get going on that therapy. I do want to go into your character a little bit because I feel like I have even gotten asked this about you. But I always say you are, quote, the worst famous person because you're so normal. When people ask me, like, what was it like the first time you guys met? It's just Taylor. you have such like a calming presence about you and you're just the sweetest human to everyone. How, because I'm sure a lot of people are wondering, like, the amount of fame that you experienced to such an intense degree that most people who are in the industry will never experience.

How are you still so grounded? I know you probably don't. So that's a heavy question, but you're one of the wisest, kindest people that I know. And it just baffles me that you had this whole life before me. I mean, obviously, it's still very much part of our life today. But the things you experienced are just less than 1% ever will ever experience that. So is there an answer to how you're. It's a tough question.

You can brag about yourself. It's okay. No, I've definitely been asked it a number of times. And I don't feel like I have the perfect answer. I think I say this every time because it's true. I think it stems from how my family raised me. And, you know, like for example, when I started. you know, working and getting my first job.

I, you know, was starring in a superhero franchise at 12. The Adventures of Shark Boy and Motha Girl, right? But when I finished filming and I came back home, my parents, they weren't like, oh, you're Shark Boy? Cool. That means you don't have to take out the trash. Like, that wasn't them. Honestly, they were more so, your Shark Boy, we're going to remind you.

that you're also 12 years old and you have the same chores, if not more. If I was being honest, they probably added a couple just to make sure. So I think that absolutely is where it stems from is my parents and my sister too, six years younger than me, definitely kept me in check. But yeah, I think that's very important, you know, no matter who you are, what kind of life you live, what job you have, you still got to take out the trash, you know? It's a metaphor, but yeah, it's like,

I strong, this was another thing that my parents instilled in me is like, when you're filming a movie and like we don't care that you're in front of the camera, everybody is equal and you treat everybody with the same respect. So that janitor cleaning out your trailer when you leave for the night, you wouldn't be there if it wasn't for them either. So I think that was just another thing that was instilled in me is just respect for everyone. And you know, because it's dangerous when you're that young experiencing that.

And I feel like it's important when you're that young to be reminded that you are not more important than anybody else on this planet. Yeah. And you definitely embody that and lift that out still to, today. That's good to hear. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad.

Kudos to you. Kudos to them. So I want to go into the aspect you are male into men's mental health. Obviously, the men's mental health is a huge thing to me. Ironically, I was just thinking about this. All of my experiences in life prior to mine into mental health were males. Yeah. Which is obviously.

concerning, but that just proves even more how important it is for us to normalize men's mental health and to talk about it more. And I thank you for wanting to talk about it more because it's something that is very special to me. And so I love that you want to share that with me. But I want to talk just about this part of body image. because when we hear mental health and then when we hear the subdivision

of body image, we immediately think of females and how they struggle with their looks, the people with the plastic surgery, the blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But a lot of men struggle with their body image

and literally having your identity in your abs. For lack of a better term. Still couldn't convert you over to my team. But, But seriously, you literally, for 16, 17, 18 years old, you were known for how you looked at such a young age. And that's, you're still developing.

You're still learning who you are. This is a large question. But how have you noticed? Because I've seen how it's affected you firsthand and I've seen you overcome that. Hugely. Is there a short answer to put how that affected you? Did you realize it affected you until you? grew up or

I know this is a long answer because we've been together for five years and we've talked about it for five years and we have 45 minutes but is there a short answer to that? So the answer is no. I definitely,

when I was in it, when I was 16 through 20 years old, you know, starring in this franchise where my character's known for taking his shirt off every other second. Yeah.

No, I did not know that it was affecting me or going to affect me in the future with body image. But now looking back at it, of course it did. Of course it's going to. If you can get through that without having body image issues, kudos to you. But for me personally, yeah, you know, being viewed as having this unbelievable body and it's a lot easier to have an unbelievable body when you're 17, 18, 19 years old. Well, I was just about to add, it wasn't easy though.

Like the diet you were on, the amount of workouts yet. It was my entire life. Like, you weren't just out of the womb. Here is all of this. Like, you had to work so hard for that. Yeah. Yeah. And the first movie, I was 140 pounds.

And in New Moon, I was 175. So, yeah. I, that wasn't my natural body. Yeah. I had to work very hard for it and very, very hard just to maintain it. So, yeah, when the franchise ended and I started noticing it for the first time when I just started rebelling against a gym. I was forced to be in a gym multiple times a day, six days a week, you know, for those years.

and I think the first time I started noticing it was being like, I don't ever want to see a gym again. And, you know, what happens when you don't want to see a gym is you start losing the A-pack. And yeah, I feel like I, you know, I started having more normal of a body. and I remember one of the first times seeing it online was very tough. I was filming a movie called Run the Tide and my character and that is not supposed to be a bodybuilder or ripped guy in any way. I still, I thought I looked fine. You did?

Like, I thought I looked fine. but then seeing it online where they put the side by sides of me shirtless in the ocean in a scene from that movie compared to me in eclipse or whatever and being like, wow, he's let it all go. I was like, oh man, did I really let it all go? I didn't think I looked that bad, but, and then those side by sides continued for years and years to come. And I kept rebelling against, it would come in waves. I'd buckle down again and I'd get in shape and then I just, and then I would let it go. And then I'd get in shape and then I'd let it go.

And that's been something that I've, you know, struggled with over the last 10 years. You know, you know, you know, I've gotten healthy again, but I think in order to get my body. physically healthy. It took my mind getting healthy first. But yeah, those side-by-side images continued for years and years and it really, uh, it messed with me and it hurt. Yeah. I can only imagine because even to today when people do the side-by-sides of you, it literally angers me. Yeah. So much. Because you look great. Like you're literally comparing a 16-year-old to a 30-year-old Yeah, that metabolism doesn't work like it used to. But I do like what you said about your mind needed to be there.

It needed to be healthy first because I definitely had a front row seat of watching that happen with you. And you realizing just kind of the mental state that you were in. And I think a lot of people would attribute like to, oh, I lost away. I'm confident now. But it was like, it was obviously a much deeper. issue than just like shedding a couple pounds you've been this has been a part of your life for years and it's been so cool to watch you go from one of your darkest places to now you like strut and do a room it's just so awesome to watch you like have grown through that thank you so i applaud you yeah you know

yeah you know because you were there and i wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you but yeah you know it was a a tough journey. I'm just, I'm so thankful for everybody in my life that helps get me through, you know, the tougher times. Yeah, no, I'm just, I feel really good now. And you need to get to a place where you realize that your body and how your body looks doesn't say anything about you as a person because there's a flip side too. And that's, your body can look unbelievable. You can be ripped, shredded, whatever, you can lose weight, you can put on muscle. And if you're not, if you're not healthy mentally, then that's all for nothing. Because that can, that can work against you. Yeah. Like there's two totally different sides to it. And I think it, I think that was the

thing I needed to learn because for so long, I told myself, if I get my body back to, to where I want it to be, then I'm going to be happy again. You found your identity in that. That was like, that was where you found value, quote unquote, so to say. Maybe not value, but you. No, you need to find value in the right places. Yeah. And it's very, it's tough to learn, but important to learn that value does not come in what

you look like when you look at yourself in the mirror. And a lot of people think that. I thought it. I thought it. Yeah. I literally was like, when I get my body back to where I want, all of a sudden, something's going to click and I'm going to be super happy. Yeah.

I mean, we'd all be lying if we didn't agree that. Yeah. Everyone, I feel like, to some degree, put some value in that. Yeah, absolutely. Do you have any words of encouragement for men that are dealing with body image? Because I think we hear so much of like women encouraging women about their body image stuff. Do you have anything for the male listeners and men that are struggling with that? I mean, first of all, I imagine other men can relate to this. I'll say it because I know for a fact

it was, you know, it's true for me and for other very close friends of mine who deal with the same thing. First of all, it's not as bad as you think. You always tell yourself. that it's worse than it is. Yeah. Like I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, and then I'll have you or Jason, you know, close friends of ours be like, bro, what are you talking about? You're looking at a different human being than the rest of the world is.

And that's how scary it is because you distort things. Your brain just sees things differently. So first of all, just know. Even if your eyes and your brain can't see it, just know deep down. It's not as bad as you're making it seem. Your brain just has an issue. And that's normal.

So just know that right off the bat. And then also realize we just touched on it that don't find happiness in what you want your body to look like. don't think just because you lose the 20 pounds or you put on the muscle, you're going to wake up, look in the mirror and all of a sudden be happy. That's not where you should be finding value. So I would say those are the two most important things. You need to do it for the right reasons. You need to want to get into the gym. You need to want to lose the weight. You need to want to put on the muscle for the right reasons. and number one is mental health.

I don't know how many studies I've read that just says that nothing is better for your mental health than, you know, working out and being healthy, you know, eating the right foods, exercising. And if you make that the priority, then you're going to find the best results mentally and physically. I love that. I don't know where I just pulled up from. Told you. Your wise man, your years. That made me think of two, random thoughts.

One, I love this saying, we find our value where we put value. And I feel like that is very applicable to, if, let's say you, for example, if you're putting your value in other people's opinions, then you're going to think so poorly of yourself. But if you're putting your value in your mental health,

your relationships, your, you can actually control, then it's going to be a night and day situation for you. Yeah. And it also made me think of, I'm not going to say this right, but in an interview that I watched that, Megan Traynor did, she did 30 days of standing in the mirror naked for like a minute or two minutes and just staring at herself. Like she, to help with body image, she literally would stand in front of the mirror and just stare at herself. And the first day she was nitpicking all of these things. And then by like a week, she was like, oh, I like my boobs.

Or like, I don't know. I remember what she said, but she like pointed out something on her body she didn't like. And I think that would be cool, like, to try. Wow. I don't know. It made me think of that when you were. All right. Let's get naked.

Oh, boy. Is that what you were saying? You wish. Oh, no. That wasn't your point. My bad. My bad. Do we put that in there?

Oh, boy. Okay. Are you ready for some questions? I don't know. Our Lemon 11. Oh, our Lemon 11? Yeah. Oh, yes, of course.

Frick, yeah, you are. Let's do it. Okay, numero uno. What movie or song title best describes your mental health today? Well, as you know, we're just being honest here on the squeeze. As you, my wife, knows, I've been irritable today. What? You have been, but I can't believe he said that.

Why? You got to keep it real. You got to keep it real. Got in a squeeze. You were talking about our mental health. You think I was going to lie to everyone? I've just, I can't put my finger on it. Well, it's weird because you woke up actually in a great mood.

Did I? Because I went to bed in a good mood. I was like, you know what? I'm really excited for tomorrow. And I want to like, I want to do this and I want to do this. And I literally had like a list of things I wanted to do. And I was so excited for it. I didn't even want to sleep.

Yeah, when you came downstairs this morning, And you were like, I had so many thoughts. I should have written them down. And you were like asking us what was on the to do list. Normally, like I have to wait like 30 minutes to an hour. That's because of how I went to sleep. And I think I was so excited about the list in doing all these things that when one little hiccup went wrong, it just sent me over the edge. And I was like, this isn't how I envisioned it.

When I went to sleep last night, we were going to. do this, this and this. It was going to be super joyful and fun. And then like something happened where it just drove me insane. And I was like, this was not the plan. Oh my gosh. I think that's what happened. So yes, I've been irritable today.

So back to your question. Song or movie that describes my mood today. I did say mental health, but I'm like in this mood thing. Oh, that describes my. mental health? No, it's mood. Okay. Well, my mental health is... Is moody? Irritated. I would say that it just feels like every step I'm taken, every move I make, feels lost with no direction. And you know what? My faith is shaken. But I'm going to keep my head held high. Is that right? Did I just butcher it?

I know, I think you said it right? It's the climb by Miley Cyrus, everyone. I'm on the climb today. Oh. Gotta keep my head held high. Keep the faith in a name. I don't know if I did that correctly. Forgive me, but that was my point.

The climb by Miley. My faith is shaken, but I, no, and then I goes, but I got to be strong. Got to be strong. Got to keep my head held high. Okay. So basically. Long story short, long melody short here. Yeah.

The climb. Yeah. You've been climbing today. I felt lost today because I can't put my finger on it. I appreciate the honesty. But you know what? I'm going to keep my head held high because it's all going to work out. Rick, yeah.

And I know that. So we'll just, you know, we'll start again tomorrow. Okay, great. Okay. We'll go to bed with happy thoughts and then. Maybe less of a plan when I'm falling asleep. Yeah. Number two.

How open are you with people in your life when you're struggling? I was going to say you know this, but definitely more in the last couple years than before that. I think when prompted, you are more so. But I'm not just voluntarily like, hey, I want to talk about my mental health. Yeah. I feel like I'm not open about my feelings, but I'll be like, I woke up really in a depressed mid today. Like, I feel like I'm on a lay in bed. You did the opposite when we're in a discussion.

You know how you're feeling. You know your emotions, you know, like what made you mad, but it makes you happy, whatever. I have to sleep on it. But then when it comes to sharing that, like what you're struggling with, definitely feel like it, you're less inclined to do so. I feel like the hardest part for me is it's tough to share it with somebody else when I myself can't put my finger on why I'm feeling a certain way.

For sure. That's my, by far my most difficult thing is I would share it, but most of the time I can't even figure it out myself. Like what we just talked about. Like I'll just wake up not in a good mood. But I don't know why. I'm like, where is this coming from? And it's frustrating because you're like, nothing happened. Why do I not feel in a good mood today?

So then it's tough. If I can't put my finger on it, then I'm like, I'm not going to bring it to some. somebody else. So yeah, that's the toughest part for me. But I would say in the last year or two, I've gotten a lot better at it. What is your favorite part of your morning or night routine? Night, you know this. I love just winding down with you and the pups and just like watching a show or something together. Whatever it is. I love just like snuggling up on the couch and just having that quality time, you know, and something just to like wind our brains down. So whether that's watching a show or whatever, I love just chilling on the couch with you

and the do. Morning, we touched on this as well, but I feel like for me there's not much of a better way to like start my day than a workout. Be like getting outside, listening to music, working out, getting a good sweat in, definitely is like the best, it leads to the best rest of the day for me. Sweet. I love that. This next question, pretty much you can just rewind to the beginning of this episode and then I'll answer the question.

How is your career impacted your well-being? I would say, yeah, quite a bit. Yeah. Rewind. When I was in it, when I was 16 through 20 years old, you know, starring in this franchise where my character's known for taking his shirt off every other second. No, I did not know that it was affecting me or going to affect me in the future with body image. But now looking back at it, of course it did.

Number five. What is the most misunderstood thing about you? Dude. I love this question. I hate this question. I'm going to need your help with this because I never know. how to answer this question. I just like, I don't know, like we talked about, like, I try and now stay off of what people think about me because it's never fantastic. So I just, I don't know,

like, how people perceive me. I think people don't think you're as down to earth and genuine as you are. Like I said, you're, you're so normal and you're so easy and laid back. I think people would assume you're like a foo-foo-y, whatever, head-held high person. Hey, I can be foo-foo. Maybe it's what we were just talking about is even I, us. Like, just wake up some days and just don't feel good. Just wake up and just know, like, I don't know if today's going to be a good day. And I just need, like, a reset.

Like that is normal for everyone. And we all have those types of days. And it's just important to know that's normal, that everybody goes through that. And sometimes you just need a reset. Number six, what is the greatest advice you've ever been given? This is tough because I've definitely been given a lot of great advice. But you know how important. I feel like we talked about, did you think,

say this for this question on our last episode. I forget what you said, but I know we talked about it. You know how important this is for me. It sounds so simple and cliche when you say it, but the power of putting yourself in somebody else's shoes. I just feel like, not I feel like I have learned and experienced over and over again in life, how powerful it is. whether you agree with somebody or not, it doesn't matter if you want to protect the relationships in your life. If you care about somebody, whether they are a friend, a romantic friend, a mentor, whoever, the power of just being able to understand where somebody is coming from is, just like massive.

Like you don't, we do this all the time. If we're in a disagreement, if both of us are able to say, I don't agree with you, but I understand why you would feel that way. I understand where you're coming from. And if both of us are able to do that, it's going to squash it right then and there.

Because nothing is more important, no argument or disagreement is more important than our love and respect for each other. Yeah. And that goes with, you know, any relationship in your life. If you can just get past your ego and just realize I don't have to be right. All I have to do is everybody wants to feel hurt. Yeah, I was just going to say that. That's the biggest thing.

Everybody wants to feel hurt. So if you can make somebody that you care about, about feel heard, it's going to diminish a lot of, you know, problem and friction. Yeah. Number seven. What does wellness mean to you? What does wellness mean to me? I'll go back to this.

Touched on it already. There's so many different avenues of wellness in life. But mental wellness has to be first all the time. you're yeah we talked about it but you want to you know there's wellness and you know body image working out uh knowledge just like growth like yeah career there's wellness and all those avenues but you're not going to be able to um be happy with any of those your career how you look what you think when you look in the mirror, any of those, until you prioritize mental wellness. Yeah, for sure.

That's a great answer. What is your relationship with social media and do you think it affects your well-being? Well, it definitely has, and we touched on that. It for sure does. And I make an effort now to read less in the comment sections, especially if it's not on like my page because my gosh you go on some of these websites and they post something and those tabloids me oh my tudness oh my goodness uh yeah those comment sections are dangerous it just feels like 90% of the people on there are only on there to just bash other people

yeah no it's true yeah and you just have to know that so it's better now that i understand that and know that going into it, but just find less importance in... But your value somewhere else? Yeah, it goes back to a post that you did on Lemons recently that I talked about quickly on my story, which I just thought was so important, which was differentiating what is in your control and what is out of it. Yeah. As long as you know that and you tell your brain that, you can read some negative

stuff, hear some negative stuff about you, but you know that it's out of your control. There's nothing you can do about it. So read all you want, but it doesn't matter. Yeah. It doesn't need to affect your life. Yeah. What is your favorite form of self-care? The same as mine. What's yours? Facials. Facials. I do love a facial. Does exercise count? I just feel like that's, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that gets me in the right headspace. whether I'm stressed or whatever, that tends to, yeah, if I'm feeling like I need to blow off steam or anything, it's like I need to go out and just do like a jog or a speedwalk or lift some weights, whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, but do love a facial. I love a mask too. Oh, and I masks. Under eye patches, full mask. Every morning. Cold rollers. Yep. All of it.

That's why your skin looks so good. Oh, hush, my gosh. Oh, hush, hush. Next question. Who has had the most positive impact on your mental health? It's tough. Obviously, I'm not going to... You, for sure, you know, you said it about me.

Okay, just because I said about you, doesn't mean you have to say it. No, I'm not saying it because you said it about me. I'm saying it because it's true. Obviously, we're married. We spend every day together. You have taught me so much, and I'm the... person I am today because of you. But that's obvious. It'd be weird if you weren't. Yeah. It would mean we're probably not in the right relationship. Yeah. But so yes, it is by far you.

But I also have, you know, other people who have contributed so much to that as well. I mean, I don't need to go listing them off, but I'm very close friends. The list goes on. I'm just, I'm very thankful for everybody, you know, family, friends in my life that I'm surrounded by because, yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here without them. But, uh, I know you're not saying names, but Jason definitely had, I'm saying it because you didn't say it. He definitely has had a very large impact on your mental health. So, Jason, if you made it this far, thank you very much for supporting my husband. Again, comparing women to men here, like women supporting women, like the men, you to support the men.

And that's like a big thing that you and Jason's relationship has kind of like grown and blossomed into and it's been really cool to see him pull, you know, because like a wife,

a fiance girlfriend, you can only pull so much out of your partner. But when you have that outside, when you have that friend come in, like the things that I've seen Jace pull out of you that I maybe not have been able to

or maybe to think to ask or do or whatever has been really cool to, watch that over the past few years. That's a different relationship. There's things that you, you know, wouldn't really want to talk about with your spouse, but you'll talk about with your best friend and something that Jace has taught me is just how important vulnerability is in a friendship. Yeah, for sure. You can have, you can have all these friendships, but, and you can have so many friendships

that are like surface level and like you you truly care about the person but like taking a deep dive into a vulnerable friendship is life changing and that's something that he has definitely taught me and uh it surround yourself with people like that people that will challenge you to be a better human. Yeah. And that is that is him to me. Yeah. For that I am. For ever great, for me. Oh, I love that. Okay. Last question. If you can go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself? Probably the 2009 VMAs when I presented the award to Taylor and was unaware that the Kanye thing was not a skit. I'm deceased.

I've fallen off of the couch onto the floor. Yeah, that would have been helpful. Did you plan that answer? Did you plan that answer? Of course, I did. Oh my gosh, that was good. Sorry, but explain. So you didn't know that you and Taylor had just gone public or whatever.

Yeah, I presented the award to her. So I gave her the award. I took, you know, five steps back and was standing. five feet behind her. And yeah, in the middle of her giving her thank you speech, Kanye jumps up onto the stage. And I'm standing behind them. I can't see either of their faces. Well, you probably can't, like, hear them well because I know, like, when you're on,

like, you can't, like, the speakers aren't made for the people. Yeah, because all the speakers are going out. So I can barely hear it. I can't see them. I'm just assuming that this whole thing was a practice and rehearse skit. Yeah. because why else would Kanye West be jumping up on the stage interrupting Taylor Swift? Rightfully so.

It just didn't make sense. So I literally, and if you look back at it, I'm actually caught like laughing and like giggling at it. I'm like, I can't hear them, but this is probably really funny right now. And then after, yeah, he jumped off, she finished. The second she turned back around and I saw her face for the first time, I was like, Oh. That wasn't a skit. No, this, that wasn't good.

God. Probably should have said something. It's okay. You made up for it in your opening monologue on SNL. Appreciate that, babe. Yep, I got you. Yep. So yeah, that would be the moment.

That's great. That's a great choice. It's a lot better than mine. Probably the best answer we're going to get on the show. Oh my gosh. Thank you very much, my dear, for putting up with me and my questions. and thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. And I am so grateful to have had you sitting across from me.

I'm so excited for next episode. You're going to be sitting on the same couch as me. We're going to be together. And I'm just so excited to go into this whole next journey with you. It's going to be so awesome and so fun. But thank you everyone for squeezing us into your day. Be sure to follow our show. Rate it.

You can listen to us with Spotify, Apple, whatever one you are listening to us on right now. We also have our videos up on YouTube. Go ahead and check them out. You can see me falling onto the ground with Taylor's last answer. We also have Instagram. You can find us there at The Squeeze,

along with emailing us at Lautner. Dot the Squeeze podcast at gmail.com. Email us. Any guests you want to have, any topics you want answered. Any questions for our segment that we haven't introduced yet, but we will be introducing next episode

because it's our first guest. Heck yeah. When life gives you lemons, what do you do with them? Over here at the squeeze, we talk about it. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.