The Steve Dangle Podcast - Merry Chrysler | December 21, 2019

Episode Date: December 21, 2019

On this episode of The Steve Dangle Podcast, it's the last day of school and Steve was CBC's The Story Store (00:00), who wore the crown for THIS SEASON (08:00), We talk about "Don't F**k With Cats: Hunting An Internet Killer," the documentary on Luka Magnotta and serial killers (22:00), Jake Gardiner, P.K. Subban, and back troubles (32:00), have the World Juniors lost some of its magic? (1:03:00), Shawn Simpson versus Darren Dreger (1:17:00), BACHELORETTE BIOS! (1:21:00), and opening Christmas gifts! (2:18:00). Originally aired: December 21, 2019 Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/WM73924wgC0 Merch: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/fancydangleshirts Follow us on Twitter: @Steve_Dangle, @AdamWylde, & @JesseBlake Follow us on Instagram: @SteveDangle, @AdamWylde, & @Jesse.Blake Subscribe to us on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/steve-dangle-podcast/id669828195?mt=2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

panago pizza presents s s d p p the steve dangle podcast with your host steve dangle adam wilde and jesse blake let's go welcome to the burnt out like jesus we're so tired ah this is you know there are two times of the year where we're actually burnt out This is one of them. The other one is the episode that happens July 2nd or July 3rd. Both of these shows are just a bit goofy. But they're the last day of school. They are the last day of school.

So this is the last day of school. We will be back on the 5th for our show. Of December. Yeah, we got our little holiday gift exchange that we're going to do today. We got some Bachelorette bios. Oh, I forgot. That's amazing. Oh, wait.

Did Steve forget something? No way. And as a fun thing over the holidays, it was suggested to us that we should do several different topics. And we're going to record them after we record this show. But you'll see them come out throughout the winter solstice. Is that what it is? Yeah, well, it's coming up. That's like tomorrow.

Yeah. You're going to see the Leafs all-decade team. Top Leafs moment of the decade. Top three NHL moments. of 2019. Some predictions. Yeah, some predictions. So we're going to have

a whole bunch of that stuff that you're going to be able to have while we're gone so that way you don't forget about us. You know, because people call us the content kings. Content kings.

KCs. We're right up behind. We do not do that. What's that kid's name that made $26 million? Ryan something? Ryan's World. Ryan's World is the

top paying YouTube kid. His second year in a row and over the last two years, in 24 months, he's made $48 million. Less than 50. It's like Jordan Belfort Which pissed me off

I fell just short of a million a week Which pissed me off That's that kid That's unbelievable man That's crazy money Crazy money Crazy money So I was doing an interview

With a, I don't want to say boomer What's just after boomer? Gen Z No Gen Z No sorry Gen X Gen X Okay so I was talking to a Gen Xer who was going to, like, they were going to...

Well, like, what year were you thinking they were born? Gen X was, like, you came of age in the early 90s. They're, like, a little over 40. Okay, a Gen X. Yeah. So they went to, it was a bar down event that happened recently. And they're like, Steve, I don't get it. I don't understand any of it.

I saw this video. Whoa! Oh, my God! You all right, Jesse? Just an update for anybody not watching Jesse almost died I got it He's good

There's a light that's the only thing in this studio taller than he is And it almost fell right on top of him We're gonna have to just tighten that little screw on the thing there Watch the cord there It's around the middle of it That's okay, the cord's fine Anyway, so why were you bringing this up? This is interesting

So he's a Gen Xer He went to a Bar Down event, doesn't get it Now I'm trying to remember why I brought it up He's like, oh yeah, I don't get it so I was like, man, there's lots of things about YouTube and podcasting. Here, I can enlighten you. I go, for example, do you know who the highest-grossing YouTuber is? To my surprise, he actually threw out a couple names.

Like PewDiePie, something like that. Well, he didn't know the name. He's like, that video game guy. And I'm like, PewDiePie? No. Ninja? That might be it. Okay.

I go, no, it's this 7-year-old that you have never heard of. He's like, what? He Googled it, and it's the South Park. And it's the the world's most famous person you've never heard of them. Yes. Yeah, and and it's toy reviews. I'm alive He's alive That's all he does you go. He just plays with toys. That's it. It's cool. Yeah, that's what I do I just do my videos for my toy dungeon and figured Sorry, and just have a great time

Years does he play with them and like I've never watched one of the videos I haven't played with it and like a fun. I'm sure when when Everly grows up I'll have to start watching all the bad YouTube videos. But you know what? From what I understand, the toy unboxers are really interesting because they'll start and they'll just be in like an apartment or a dirty, dingy basement or something like that. And then over the course of a couple of years, you could sort of track their success by the background of their videos.

So like they'll get like a ring light and then they'll upgrade the camera. And then all of a sudden, it's a beautiful white background. and all of a sudden they're in a palatial mansion because they make so much damn money. And sport, like, we picked, really, you picked, Steve, because honestly, there's no show without you. You picked a niche sport that's really popular in Canada and is like the sixth most popular in the United States.

Oh, if that. Yeah. If that. You really went for that global game-changing audience there, Steve. I didn't mean to. Whenever people scold me on my career choices, I'm like, I didn't mean to. I just kept doing stuff.

We could have just picked toys. We hitched ourselves to the wrong wagon. We could have done a children's show. We could have been Baby Shark. Yeah. Hey, one of us has been on a kid's podcast. Adam, show of hands. No, that's me.

You were on a kid's podcast? Yes, I was. How was that? The Story Store with Gary the Unicorn and Mr. Orlando. And it was great. I don't know what that is. You don't know that? Oh, I'm not.

You're saying that like I should know. On the podcast. Let me explain it. And you can all look this up after. You listen to this right after this podcast. So CBC Kids has a show called The Story Store. And it's a store owned by Mr. Orlando. He's a moose.

This is a TV show. Yes. On the CBC. But they have a podcast now. Oh. Yes. The Kids Show has a spinoff podcast. Yes.

2019. National broadcaster. Absolutely. Mr. Orlando owns The Story Store. And Gary the Unicorn is his helper. But he's very hyper and often doesn't help as much But he has a heart of gold Gary the Unicorn does

So kids write into the story store And they say I want a story about a triceratops Playing the guitar And the story store has to come up with a story About a triceratops playing the guitar This is awesome Live on the spot?

Not live on the spot But maybe they do I don't know the magic of the story store I'm not an employee like Gary the Unicorn and Mr. Orlando So I barge into the story store And I just tell them that I'm their biggest fan And I stand there While they make this story for this child

About a triceratops playing the guitar Wow Have you ever been on that? No You do this in the podcast Yes Wow, that's cool Yeah, I'm a big hockey fan And Mr. Orlando says, Steve Dangle

This is awesome That's really cool, man Yeah, it is When did you do that? It was like a month ago Really? Yeah, I recorded it in the summer oh okay there's so much going on now that it's almost like it's it's pretty tough to keep up with

like any any like even our like i do a lot of shit we see each other twice a week which is more than i see my parents um almost as much as i see my family and sometimes it's just impossible to keep up with what's going on with you too i don't you know it's just a lot going on oh and i see jesse every day and i'm like ah that's there's still stuff that slips through yeah did you hear I did this thing called Dang It's. Oh, yeah. And then I filmed that Dang It's right before I did ice surfing.

Yours should be called Bang It's. Bang It's. I think that's something else, Adam. Oh, sorry. That might be a different website. Hey, I'm Jesse with Bang It's. Look, no. You need to talk to Jay Z over there, Adam.

There you go. Yes, what's up, Jay? Hey, let's get into Who Wore the Crown. Again, you live generously and life will treat you royally. Why not pour yourself a crown royal? Why not? Maybe for your friend, too.

Why not? What? Because we got to find out who wore the crown where we with the help of you recognize one leaf player from You know the last game or whatever who represents our town in our crown, but here's what we're gonna do differently this time Because live generously life will treat you royally. That's crowns motto who has For the first I think 31 games of the season Lived up to that motto live generously life will treat you royally So we're doing crown of the season crown of the first half of the season

I got mine. You guys got yours? I got mine. Let me think. How do you... Shut up. My crown has to go to this team's most valuable player. They show up every single night.

It's rare that you point at them and go, Ugh, what are you trying? Is it going to Carlton? He can do a backflip in a bear suit. And I don't think there's many Leafs who can do that. I don't think there's one. Mine goes to Carlton the Bear. No, mine goes to Freddie Anderson.

Wow. Freddie Anderson. I know. On a team where three players make it over $10 million, who at least two of them deserve to. Which is a talk I'm sure we'll get into. But Freddie Anderson. Is that a talk we're going to get into?

I don't know. We've done that. Who knows? Well, we've done that. That is like a ubiquitous topic. It's like, hey, I'm doing a radio show this week, and I don't know what to talk about. Let's complain about who's contractually paid what on the Leafs. That's when you're paid money to do a radio show for five hours a day, five times a week,

and you're like, whew, what's going to fill 4.30 today? I'll get Mitch Martin to learn from the Kawhi saga. Yeah, why not? Back in a bit. Yeah, taking your calls. We're going to open up the phone lines. Man, when they open up the phone lines, I'm like, I am leaving. I don't want to hear.

I stopped listening to sports talk calls when somebody said, remember, I think I told you guys this. I was listening to the fan and they were talking about whether or not the Leafs were going to get the first overall pick. Because that year they got the fourth overall pick and it was going to be Connor McDavid. We got Marner, but it was going to be Connor McDavid. And the guy's like, they should trade Connor McDavid. And Roger Lajoie was like, what? And God bless Roger Because he's the nicest guy in the world

I would have just laid into this guy Because it was so stupid But he thought for some reason That we could somehow voodoo a Peter Forsberg Eric Lindros trade out of somebody And somehow end up with A player just as good as Connor McDavid In return

Which Peter Forsberg turned out to be And And I was like you know I think I'm done with the sports calls In the summer we had a caller Like in our first segment And Scott McArthur Just turns to me

And he hasn't gone to bed This person Scott seems like a great guy by the way Scott is effing fantastic Because you guys were on the morning show So you assume it was still his night Yeah and it's like 6.30 in the morning And this guy's gunned

Just on the radio So if I got a radio show and I go Hey line one We got Adam on line one We're going to him We're talking right now About if we think There are three players

On the Leafs Who deserve to make Over ten million dollars What do you think Adam Yeah Yeah guys First time Long time

Yeah I mean I know Tavares Or whatever Yeah he's pretty good I guess he's good Adam the mic is way Too close to your face It needs to be about

Several kilometers Yeah I'm trying to Mimic the guys The way he's holding His phone too Yeah Yeah like Listen, Matthews seems like kind of a jerk, but yeah, he scores a lot of goals, eh?

He's not like Dougie. It's just a shame that Marner makes less. That's what it would get into. It's like, it's this, first off, Matthews will never, for some reason, until he hoists the cup, there will always be people in the city who are like, yeah, Marner's better because he was born here. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Which is beyond the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Guaranteed there are Leaf fans who would have liked to go more, a lot more, if he didn't score so many darn points every time he scored he could have been laying a hit yeah true getting in a fight there were people back then that called gilmore soft what because he wasn't wendell clark ah and like in today's nhl he would be nothing short of an axe murderer oh yeah oh my god just like this the the doug gilmore hits compilation on youtube he leaves his feet every time is it it's aggressive they all do yeah they everybody like if you watch the wendell clark thing it's like illegal illegal illegal illegal that would might be a charge illegal illegal wow he really

knocked that guy out with the pads that they used everyone it was just high flying bones yeah it was crazy so you were all just bags of bones flying into each other my crown's gonna be a little bit different and it might not be the most popular crown but i'm gonna give it anyway it's a dual crown not a trade kroner a duke kroner oh what a two kroner my crown goes to brendan shanahan and Kyle Dubas. Wow. And I give it to them. Is that allowed?

Okay, I'm going to give it to one of them. Is that allowed? Is it allowed? I don't know. Is it a hat trick, Jesse? It's not. It's not a hat trick, but it's four goals. Somebody made the best argument that I completely forgot to make.

When you get an A-plus in school, did you also get a B, a C, a D, a F? No. You got an A because you surpassed the other levels. When you score four goals, you get four goals. But you earned a B. You did earn a V. Yeah, but you passed it. You don't say, hey, I got a D because I got an A plus.

I got 90%, but I also got 50. So can we call a four goals a Matthews? We just brand it a Matthews? You got a Matthews. Call it a donut. Call it whatever you want, but don't call it a hat trick. A top hat trick. Because a hat trick is three.

It's a top hat trick. Cool. That's cool. As long as it's not a hat trick. Or a dick trick. Cool. Don't like that one as much. Let's not do that one.

They had that for the Joe Thornton, Thomas Hurdle thing. Oh, that was funny. That was funny. That was funny. In retrospect. I'm going to give it to Kyle Dubas and Brendan Shanahan for having the guts, the cojones, whatever you want to call it, to say we're not going anywhere this season with this head coach and firing the head coach. And that had to be especially tough for Brendan Shanahan, who, you know, went out of his way to hire Mike Babcock.

I mean, I would love for there to be a book written on this era of the Leafs, starting from when Brendan Shanahan took over, because there are so many conversations that I wish I was privy to. I would love to know, Mike Babcock was as good as a Sabre coach as they could come. And I would love to know how Brendan Shanahan said, let us do this for you. Because the Pagoulas were willing to pay whatever, and Tim Murray was going at Babcock hard, and they were that close. So what was it that Shanahan did? And then they brought him in, and they had the big background, and they gave him a jersey, and all those things. And three and a half years later, into an eight-year deal, he's gone.

That's a tough one to sell the board on. Sure is. It was tough to sell him, to bring him in. I got to imagine it was harder to get rid of him. Also, Brendan Shanahan has a career in politics ahead of him. Because he talked about the Johan Franzen story that came out. So yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, but barely anyone discussed it because it was just so right down the middle boring.

He didn't bring it up, is what he said. wish he hadn't done that obviously it's regrettable yeah clearly a guy who learned a thing or two from Lou Lamorello I wish Dubas had learned anything from Lou Lamorello

he'd bring back Wendell Clark that's why Chelios doesn't like him Chelios said he doesn't like Shanahan because Shanahan is too political or too good politically or something like that I remember that there was some sort of interview and you know what I think that just makes Brennan Shanahan a pragmatic leader which is what you need when you're dealing with Rodgers, Bell, and the Tannenbaum family owning this team

and trying to fire a head coach who's just been paid $40 million of his $50 million. Yeah, I liked Chelios' appearance on Spit and Chicklets as well, but a lot of people rightfully pointed out, like, okay, fair enough and everything, but this is Chris Chelios. I don't know what Chris Chelios has done that would make people say, but this is Chris Chelios. Other than the name of his book, which is like Chris Chelios Stars and Stripes or something like that. Chris Chelios, America. Yeah, honestly, it is. Basically inferring that people attack Gary Bettman in the wake of the first lockout.

He was part of the Team USA crew that trashed their hotel room. No, it's even better than I said. Chris Chelios, Made in America. Oh, it's literally that? That's the name of the book? It's called Made in America. That's a bad name. Forward by David Goggins.

Oh my god. This is a not-at-soft motherfucker. Yeah. I mean, it's not. The guy in Napoleon Dynamite who's wearing the America pants in the karate studio? I don't remember that movie very well. He's teaching him how to... Never mind.

Somebody listening knows what I'm talking about. That great piece of cinema. Napoleon Dynamite? Is trash. Oh, God. That's a bad take. Hold on. That take is hot.

We need to leave that take. That take needs to be left. It's one of the greatest movies of all time. I need to know... Where to play? I need to know what it took for Shanahan to get Babcock here I want to know what it took for Dubas and Shanahan to say okay enough Because you know Steve kept saying are we done here? Are we done here? Are we done here?

It is you I can't tell you how hard it is To unless you're in corporate management, or you've had some sort of window into it, and I have in radio So very small level right? um i gotta tell you it's really really tricky stuff and it's very political well you guys looked at it so interestingly like on the show where he got fired but we didn't know and just the way you guys were saying it is like steve it's not that easy we have to talk you off a ledge i kept childishly going but they're bad with him and you were right i know but so were you in retrospect after i listened back they said they were different it's my favorite quote

you said you were different kyle i trust it it's the mean we're screaming at the cat no i'm the wrestling guy it's still real to me damn it that's 100 me i thought james reimer would be our goalie forever um i did no i i think it's i think what it is is it took a lot of guts to do that because of all the things that go on behind the scenes. Nothing in Toronto is regular. Firing a coach isn't regular. Hiring a coach isn't regular. They had the guts to do it

and the team is 8-4 since. And that is exactly what you want. This team, if they had gone on just playing the same way they had, we would be at this point saying they're going to miss the playoffs. They're 100,000% going to miss. And they would have. And so good on them for making the change,

finding what seems to be, at least thus far, the right guy. Not an easy decision. Dubas and Shani, get my crown. Jesse. I'm curious to know. Who will it be? Well. Who will it be?

I'm looking here, and I have in front of me 241,000 reasons why this player deserves the crown. I googled William Nylander trade, and that's how many results came up in Google. How many? 241,000. And he's never been traded. And he's never been traded. God bless William Nylander for playing this season after being traded 800,000 times. It's crazy.

It's crazy. I want to know how many times he's on CapFriendly. What do you mean? Like just trades, armchair GM. People just sit at home doing the trade checker. I wonder if CapFriendly has, and CapFriendly, if you're listening, I know sometimes they do. I wonder if they have metrics on the player who's traded most on their site. I don't know if it's publicly available.

You know what? It's not publicly available. Not like at all, but. I'll send him a text. Ask him. Because I'd love to know. Because I think at that top of the list will be William Nylander. And by the way, I think somebody thought that Cat Friendly was one person.

It is. I don't know how many people it is. It's at least three. Yeah, I would hope so. I got a sneak peek at the new feature they just released. the trade calculator. It's so good. I heard Cap Friendly was just a puppy.

And just a puppy smashing keys. It's just a puppy going... It was the blirst of times. You stupid puppy. I said salary retention. So, Jesse, why do you give it to Neylander? It's just... I gotta commend a guy who can sit

in the largest media market in hockey and constantly be traded by the media. The media. And throughout it all, keep his mouth shut. Never address it. Keep his head down and just play the game well. He's having a great season.

On pace for his best season in his entire NHL career. After last season's very disappointing effort after that debacle. And thank you, Nylander, for bouncing back. Having such a great season. Making me look great. There you go. There's your crown. There's your crown.

This is the crown for this season so far and not all of 2019. Yeah, shut up. This crown started in September. Yeah, well, nope. Yep. Well, that's who wore the crown for this episode and this 2019. Brought to you as always by our friends at Crown Royal. Next time the puck drops, why not?

Why not? Live generously and treat your Leafs crew to a Crown Royal old-fashioned. You know, that started just because I thought it was funny that you always said why not. Really? Yeah. Just the way you suggest it. Why not? Why not?

Like, why haven't you? What's wrong with you? It's crazy. You're moving pretty slow there. Better get to the crowd. Mrs. Dangle told me that yesterday. She's like, because I wanted to watch that Don't Fuck With Cats documentary. The one about somebody who wants to go to junior high?

Yes, we'll get into that. Are we going to get into that? Stop saying we're going to get into that. About everything. We're not getting into that. We are getting into it. Who said that? You don't know.

This is actually the Don't Talk With Cats podcast, and we're going to be talking about that for the next 45 minutes. We'll get into that. Anyway, she told me to have a drink, and then I did. That's all I was going to say there. Do you want to get into that? Well, okay. I asked Adam a question yesterday, and he never returned my text.

What was the text? What was the text? Okay, Luca Magnata. Yes, the serial killer. Insane serial killer from that movie Don't Fuck With Cats. Didn't he go to Centennial? I don't. I'm looking at his Wikipedia.

And he's not a serial killer from the movie. They made the movie about the serial killer. Did I say the movie? He said the serial killer from the movie. Oh, my bad. The serial killer. It's a documentary. From the documentary that is real.

Yes. Now, it doesn't say on the Wikipedia page, so I don't know. Because his real name is Eric Clinton Newman. Yeah. And he's older than us, right? So you wouldn't have gone to middle school with him. But he did go to that school. Because you went to Centennial, right?

Centennial Road? Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't say here, but I bet Centennial Road was like, we're going to just go delete that from the Wikipedia page. Wow. I don't know. I'd have to watch it. But did you see the Etobicoke thing?

Oh, God. So there's a place in Toronto called Etobicoke, and the guy who's one of the main guys in the Luke of Magnetophil. And best people, because he's helping solve this crime. Can't pronounce it. And I'm like, you piece of garbage. Etobicoke. He goes, Etobicoke.

Etobicoke. He didn't even try. Nobody even corrected him. Like, there was probably six or seven guys in the room, like, hey, maybe somebody want to look up how to spell that, pronounce that? Anyway. What are you doing? Yeah, no, I've heard that's a fascinating but kind of scary documentary.

Saw the first one. I can imagine. It's messed up. Yeah, it's messed up. But it's fascinating because it's Canadian, right? Yeah. Or sort of. There's a Canadian connection.

Well, he's the second major serial killer to come out of Scarborough. We also had the... And he idolized the first one. Bernardo? Yeah. Really? I was watching it and going, oh, he sounds an awful lot like Paul Bernardo. And he, like, idolized him.

Do you want to hear a very weird story? Sure. I got one, too. So Bernardo was known as, originally, the Scarborough Rapist. And they didn't know who he was. And, obviously, he was committing an obvious crime. Yeah. And this is before he, because it happens in stages, right?

So this is before he was killing people. and so my dad and mom didn't have a lot of money they were just starting out they had me and they wanted to buy a house and they happened to buy a house on a on a street called bathgate and um uh i think it was six months after one of the neighbors said hey and they were they were sort of surprised it was a big house and it was sort of cheap and yeah those are big houses and one of the neighbors when they when they um when they moved in said hey you're aware right and they're like aware of what and apparently he had committed several of the crimes on the street on bathgate and that is why that is why the house was cheap that's a that's that's or or nearby it was

like down the street no way yeah so it like it brought down property values in the area it was such a shock like it was such a everybody was like watching it right and that gave scarborough some of its worst rep it was a nice little pocket of scarborough but scarborough has this terrible reputation in toronto here's how close that house was to mine i once drove to your house with a geography textbook on my roof the whole time and it was there when it got there you go right so yeah yeah that's part of the reason that's why my parents were able to afford this house my dad so they didn't know the description of the guy was you know uh roughly six feet tall blonde and there was like this shitty sketch that was up around the neighborhood and my dad

fucking hated it because he was around the same height oh blonde jesus he said he would get funny looks and like he would back away from the poster i think i watched a special on 60 minutes once about police sketches i think it was 60 minutes i might be wrong and they basically talk about how in times of extreme stress your chances of actually recognizing what the person looked like and remembering it properly are pretty slim and so a lot of these composite sketches have been used, and especially in the States, you know, going after people of color and that sort of thing,

they will have these composite sketches and they'll get the wrong guy. Based on a sketch. It might have been 48 hours. Maybe it was that one, yeah. Because when I Google that, some stuff comes up. Are you the best at trivia night? No, I'm terrible. Why? You know so much

random shit. I don't know, I just love that stuff. I find it so interesting how I find, I don't know, I don't know what I find interesting. I find interesting what I don't I can't commit to memory at all You know what I mean? No There's some people that can like you know the people that are good at school that can take any piece of information and go Whether it's boring or not. Yeah, I can just insert into the brain just photographic right and they just regurgitate

I can't do that. So anyway, I found that fascinating and Anyway, I don't know how we got into this but so you've seen part you said you watch episode one the documentary. Yeah, that's good. It's It's different. It's different from anything I've ever seen before. Because this guy was really messed up, right? Oh, my dear God, yeah. This is on Netflix. Okay.

So I thought I'd have to check it out. Promote it? Shout out to X-Men. You know, Netflix needs the promotion. No, I just saw it because it's the number one thing they were promoting. And I'm like, and then they showed a news clip that was very clearly CTV Toronto. Oh, fun. Oh, yeah.

What? And so I obviously kept watching him like oh shit This is the and I've always sort of wondered what the hell happened I find it really interesting that in in Canada when you have Crimes committed and this is very different from the States like in the different in the States You had like net member Nancy grace forever No And she would like she would take entire years of her show and focus on one case

So I think one of the ones she had was the she called her the tot mom But I was Casey Anthony Casey Anthony. She called her the top mom all the time the tot and the top mom Yeah, well the top she wouldn't call her Casey had that he just taught mom and and so they have shows in the States because They're so much bigger dedicated to that sort of thing right and you can get away with that and make money off that that's the Only reason they do it in in Canada when you have tragedies or massive crimes the people that commit them are Except for Paul Bernardo are on the news for a split second and then they're gone and it's almost like everybody agrees to be like let's not focus on

that person um and and like think about something like this and this is going to be a little bit how much do you hear about paul bernardo now very little very little right in the states how many unabomber um uh what's his name ted bundy manson charlie manson documentaries they're out every year charlie manson i freaking you know what i mean i called him the south park character Charles Manson. Yeah, Charles Manson. Same thing. It's crazy.

There's a whole different focus. It seems a bit weird. Reminds me of a joke from an American comedian. I heard it just for laughs. You know what I love about Canada? You guys report all your murders. That's actually true. I was like, huh.

Okay, dark. That is true. Even like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood that came out this year. That's about Charles Manson. Yes. Adjacent. Another perspective on that. Right.

Like, it just... He's in, like, Mindhunter. Mindhunter's just a show about serial killers in America. By the way, Mindhunter season two was sort of a letdown. They had, like, three interviews. It was like... Okay. The whole premise of the show is they interview serial killers.

So they did an entire season of the show. Charles Manson didn't kill anyone. He ordered people to kill people. But he never killed anyone. Oh, did he? No, it was his followers that did. So they interview him, and then they interview some other guy. I haven't seen season two.

I've only seen season one. It's such a, you're like, oh, come on. I saw the Zac Efron one. Who's he? Ted Bundy? Oh, Ted Bundy. There you go. Another one.

Yeah, they did a whole movie featuring Zac Efron. And I read the criticism of it before I'm watching, and I'm just like, did no one watch it all the way through before making that? So what was the, what was the, what was it? Well, that they made him into like a dreamboat. But that's what he was back then. Yes. The whole point was to illustrate, yes, here's how this guy portrayed himself.

And in the end as you very clearly find out by the end of the documentary. He is a psychopath a monster Yeah, yeah, I thought it was very good It was I saw the documentary with his tapes on it Yeah, and what was so interesting was that the judge being like sorry I have to convict you of murder But you seem like a great guy. Yeah, like oh, yeah Yeah, the judge was always like ah he seems like a chill dude Yeah, hey listen if you hadn't committed all this murder it seems like you would have been really great We could have played golf you know

What the hell is that? Can we get a couple beers before he goes to jail? Yeah. Yeah, we're bros. Let's try it. Zach or Ted or whatever. Jail for life, but we're still bros. Yeah.

It's so messed up, man. Don't delete me on Facebook. Yeah. If you ever get out, just hit me up. So it is a good movie? It's worth watching? Yes. Man.

You should check that out. If you like that shit. You got two weeks. You got plenty of time. Got lots of time. I'm so excited. Done in Florida. Jake Gardner turned down the Montreal Canadiens.

That would be the best transition in the history of the show. Whatever. Just go for it. Chick Carter. Turned down the Montreal Canadiens. $5 million a year he was offered on July 3rd. Apparently almost as long as his contract with the Hurricanes. So he turned down something like $4 million because he signed for $4 million a year with

Carolina. That works out to $16 million. He would have had $20 million with Montreal. But he didn't want to do it because he was exhausted. Because newsflash, Leaf fans are exhausting and he didn't want to play in another major hockey market well every time he made a giveaway it wrote off his instagram for six months like yeah do you blame him who could possibly blame him the fact that he even entertained the idea of staying here is a miracle the fact that he still has positive things to say about being

here is a miracle that's a miracle i wonder what he says in private his dad even told james myrtle and this is what this whole article is from uh told james myrtle um yeah like that was when he got booed at home it was like the lowest point of his life yeah which i mean some of you will say well pretty good life that's true but he didn't have to have that happen to him yeah and then i loved that he the team looked like complete shit without him complete shit yep and it just still never sunk in what's your thoughts on fans and stadiums booing like do you have the right do you Do you have the right to boo your own team? Do you have the right to boo the other team?

You have the right to do whatever the hell you want. Except for threatening other people. Yes. And racism. Right. But... Yes. Okay, and a list of about half a dozen other things.

Yeah, but you know what I'm saying. But for the most part, like, booing... No, booing's fine. But, like, people are allowed to turn around and chirp you for being an idiot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So is it... It's fair that people chirp Jay Gardner if he makes a mistake in game six?

It's not fair. I think the reasons why they chirped Jake Gardner weren't necessarily fair all the time. Did Jake Gardner have a big case of the holy shits when he had the puck and gave it away on a spectacular level? Absolutely. Fans were not wrong about that. I can't even get too mad at him for how he played this past Game 7, which was his third as a Leaf. He shouldn't have been playing. He shouldn't have been playing.

Didn't have a back. He didn't have a back. Straight up shouldn't have been playing. You put in the article, no, he was down to 30% of his strength in his right leg. What the fuck? He couldn't even push. Yeah, I believe that. Jesus.

I mean, you fucked up your back before you came in today. Yeah. How's walking? I was about to say, I'd like to stand because sitting is agony. Yeah, do whatever you want. I'd like to stand until standing is agony. They're saying that's what's plaguing P.K. Subban right now. Friedman and Merrick dissected a little bit on the latest 31 Thoughts podcast.

Lift it up. Yeah, just lift up the leg. Yeah, there you go. There we go. They dissected it a little bit, and they're saying that somebody is going to have to convince him to skate a different way because his back isn't the same. And somebody sent Friedman a clip and being like, hey, he's noticeably not skating the same way because his back isn't good. He's got to work out differently. So they're saying a lot of it, they're just speculating, but it might have to do with how much he loves powerlifting.

Oh, yeah. Because that's one of his big training regimens, and that's what he does all the time. He's got to stop. So they're saying... It's not good for you. He cuts that out, and then now he just, like, his skating can't be the same. Right. So, if that...

But that's why he struggled so mightily this season. That's what fucked up Tiger Woods. Yeah. Because he had, like, that military... He was training like an MMA fighter for golf. No, a Navy SEAL. Navy SEAL. That's ridiculous.

He went to the Navy SEALs, and he trained with them. He's already... He was already the most jacked golfer by miles and miles. In the history of golf. He's playing against, like, who's buddy who always wears the Captain America pants? John Daly? John Daly. He's playing against John Daly.

He's got a fucking cigarette and a beer. He's drunk. Yeah, having a burger in the fucking cart. Yeah, with lime green shoes. And Tiger Woods is like, I need to train, like, I'm going to invade a country. Yes. That book on Tiger Woods is fascinating if you've ever read it. I haven't.

It's a good, get the audio book. The thing about it is that it can be tough because these guys get to a certain point because you can do that in your early 20s. You can do, especially if you're an athlete, like CrossFit is not healthy to a person that's never worked out before. But if you have the form right, yeah, it'll work great for you if you have the form right. Yeah. And like 1% of the population has perfect form.

And some of those people are athletes. Athletes can do CrossFit, but there's a lot, there's a reason why a lot of people get injured doing it. And yeah, they're like, hey, you never did a deadlift before? Great. You're going to do max 100 times today. And you're going to deadlift this tire. Right.

But if you say that to P.K. Subban, you're like, that makes sense, right? Because he can do that, and he's got the mobility, he's got the posture, he's got the core strength, he's got the ability to do that sort of thing. He obviously doesn't. But he doesn't anymore. Well, anymore. It sounds like it's an age thing, right? Well, that's the problem.

Or just that's doing it too much thing. Remember a while back, I said something along the lines of, you know, I was talking to, well i'm not talking to i was a fly on the wall for brian burke talking behind the scenes and he had all these really really insightful things to say i was like oh my goodness what you know what's he about to go on air and say and i'm watching the tv from the room that he had just left and he's like i think this is trade kneelander and i'm like what i just couldn't believe it based on all the things he was saying but uh one of the things he was talking about and it wasn't about suban it was about someone else this was last year

once you hit a certain age it's all got to be like calisthenics and body weight stretching listen to me talking about this as I can't even sit down in a chair right now it's about mobility especially like even in your own life if you can do yoga once a week and just stretch and this is somebody coming from somebody who needs to do it

has almost zero mobility the thing that holds old people up is the fact that they can't move anymore and once you lose your mobility your health is gone the greatest predictor of any cause mortality is leg strength.

Really? Because once that goes in your old age, amongst the elderly, because once that goes in your old age, you're immobile. So they say that after that, your cause mortality rate skyrockets. Wow, it's a good thing I have a fucking leg day all the time, bro.

So don't lose your mobility, people. It's not about... So for PK... I'll get her going, man. That might have worked when he was winning the Norris Trophy in Montreal. But he's going to have to change his workout regimen. He's going to have to change the way he skates. He's going to have to change the way he rehabs.

Because you just cannot do that forever. You just can't. And it's hard for athletes because they've been able to do whatever they physically want to their entire lives. Right. And then all of a sudden they can't. And how do you even change your style of play? How do you inform your brain that I can't do that thing I did last year? One example they used was John Tavares.

They say he made the adjustment because he was going down that road where his back was giving him issues and he relearned how to skate. Wow. Yeah. And Barb Underhill, Leafs, Barb Underhill would be an awfully good teacher, I would think. Dude, we got to give her so much credit. What do we say about every freaking Marley who comes up? They're skating. Holy shit.

Pierre Engvall couldn't skate this fast. Trevor Moore couldn't skate this fast. And they were just talking about another guy, Adam Brooks. When he started with the Leafs, he wasn't a great skater. Now he's freaking dynamite. Development. Yeah. You draft potential.

What are the two teams she works for? The Leafs, for sure. And? I want to say Tampa. Yeah. Oh, really? Good skaters. I know she has a lot of Tampa clients.

She doesn't want to work for just one team because she can make more. And if you're the Leafs, you'd be like, we'll pay you whatever you want. Just keep working with our guys. I think she's mostly Toronto-based now. Her, no, she's always Toronto-based. It's just her clients come and see her. I saw her working with a couple lightning prospects a few years ago. I was there for a different shoot.

I don't remember who they were, but, like, she made it look like they were me. Like, they had never been on skates before. She was showing them how to go backwards and do these. It's hilarious. That's cool. You know what would be cool? That's such a secret weapon to have. And just destroying these guys.

It would be kind of fun. I don't know if we could ever do it. That's another thing. She didn't win medals in hockey skates. No, right, so she taught herself and she's still better. It's ridiculous. Yeah It would be cool one day if we could and I don't think I mean who's gonna have time But it'd be so great to have her teach us how to skate and do a video About it

Yeah, yeah, yeah like one like an hour on the ice with her would be awesome with PK One of the most interesting case studies I've ever heard of in sports is a guy named Andy Pettit Andy Pettit was a pitcher for the Yankees and the Astros and probably some other teams in between. But Andy Pettit pitched for 26 years. And he was not, he didn't just pitch for 26 years. He was like an ace for 26 years. I think, hold on, I'm going to look at Baseball DB.

Which, by the way, Baseball DB is hilarious because, or Baseball Reference, because it'll show you a bunch of stats you've never heard of before you get to, like, wins and losses. He went from 1995 to 2013. team so i'm wrong well wins and losses for a pitcher tells you nothing dick hall yeah however um he was yeah that's right he was playing he was he did new york and then a couple years in new york again and right up until and he was 46 years old when he retired or something like that no 40 years old or something it was ridiculous anyway what he did doesn't matter what what his

age was or what stats were what he was able to do he comes into the league and he's a fireball pitcher guy has like a hundred mile an hour fastball he's got a cut fastball that's ridiculously fast or whatever he's got but there's a shelf life there's a shelf life and that's about five seasons you look at what's happening in steven strasburg he's been able to switch but he came in with like this fucking cannon andy pettit went from that to this cerebral assassin guy who was able to get you he would he would nibble on the corners of the plate he'd give you like a he'd give you like a slow fastball

and then a change up change up change up and then a curve and like he was really good at pitching slow which sort of goes

against what you think pitching should be his main pitch was a cutter that would be it was like 84 84 miles an hour it was devastating

85 but it just nobody could nobody could hit it because he was just so good at finesse you know learning more about baseball

has been great it's fun it's a great sport it's really interesting yeah Yeah, especially if you like numbers. Like, how do you become better by slowing down? Yeah.

There's not a lot of stories where you can say that. You speed up, and then you slow down, and then you speed up, and you slow down. You know what changed Austin Matthews' career is he shoots at half the speed. Nope. Nope. Oh, that's a change-up shot. Ah, yes, which I'm sure he'll develop. A cut-slap shot.

And we'll talk about why it should be illegal. Well, everything should be illegal. No, I think that Andy Pettit's a great example, And I believe he changed up his workout regimen, too, to pitch differently. And so with PK, I would imagine that his results this year, he's such a driven guy that I think he's going to take it. He's probably already got a plan in place. Oh, he's not stupid. No, he's a pretty smart guy.

So if the evidence is in front of him, I trust him to identify it. And I think he'll take it personally. Like, he'll look at the numbers and he'll look at his peers and be upset at it, I hope, and change his ways and get back to the level he's at. If you're a team like the Leafs, like Tyler Ennis showed up early a year and a half ago to rehab his back over the course of the summer. The Leafs have an incredible medical staff, which they used to have a terrible medical staff. If you have Barb Underhill and the Leafs medical staff, like if you're the Leafs, do you not feel like with PK, it's like, hey, if we can get him for half. Do you not try? You gotta, it takes two to tango, man.

Tyler Ennis was a, if I can bust this out. a student of the game you know like if if i can bust that out he he was on board with it but if the leafs go here's what you got to do and he's on instagram fucking throwing six plates on there yeah yeah it's not gonna work if he's like watch how much i could squat yeah yeah no you got to be on there like connor carrick with that weird rubber band that goes across your ribs i don't even know what it does and friggin doing all his calisthenics although that guy is slowly becoming Super Dave as well. He's freaking huge.

Well, no, he's freaking huge, but he almost got his face busted open by a puck. He almost got his finger slashed off. It's a fun sport. Injuries, yeah, oh yeah, it's great.

Hockey, super cool. Even the refs are in danger. You see Ovechkin drill a guy the other day? Yeah, yeah. How'd you get hit by Ovechkin and not expecting it? By the way, since I called out

Carey Price for not being good this year, he's been like 5-1-1. It's stupid. Asshole. But that's how it always ends. It's just back problems seems very prevalent in the NHL. I guess it's just the nature of the game.

Half of it is using your back. And when you play hockey, one of the issues I have from playing hockey growing up is you have overdeveloped calves and legs. My ass is thick. And it's funny because my mom and dad do not have round butts. I have a round butt. And it's a hockey butt. He's not lying. And I look at my mom and dad, I'm like, whose ass is mine?

Where did it come from? Well, sometimes you say things, and they sound a certain way in your head. What happened? I check out my mom's ass. That's what you said. Well, you know, you look at your body, you're like, I do not look anything like that or like that. Keep digging. It's good.

It's not deep enough. It took me a while to realize how weird that sounded. Just keep digging. Make sure you use your legs and your ass. You'll hit the ocean if you go deep enough. Just keep going. No, but I think the point I'm trying to make here is that what happened is that my hips are, they go really good this way, but my side to side sucks.

Because I spent my whole childhood pushing backwards and skating forwards, right? And skating backwards. So when it comes to any sort of mobility, I'm terrible. It's all tight. You change to the shape of the sport you play. Yeah. You know what I always notice? Hockey players, they love their sandals.

You ever actually look at the foot? Ah! It's mangled. They're all over the world. Basketball players do. Shaq's foot. That one is... I haven't seen Shaq's foot, Shaq.

Oh, don't look at Shaq. I'm going to look at it. I'm going to Google it. Now I got to know. But yeah, hockey players, they tend to have little mangled little feet. I imagine soccer is pretty bad. Whoa, why is his toe this way? What happened to his toe?

I don't know. Shaq things. Like, he played basketball and walked on a 350-pound body his whole life. Yo, LeBron's feet are weird, too. Their toes are always in. Oh, I forgot about LeBron's foot. I don't even want to put it up on the screen, people. You can Google that yourself.

There's a meme that's just Shaq's foot disagrees and it's his gross foot. It's going the other way. there there's something non-human about playing a sport that competitively every single day from age nine to 35 man i've had the it's crazy i've had the good fortune of uh i got to interview johnny bauer before he passed and i got to talk to bobby bond who is extremely old too and they're both of them extremely witty their minds are entirely there but you just see the horrors that being an athlete inflicted on their bodies Bobby Bond played two games with a broken leg uh at the highest possible level Johnny Bauer like he couldn't he had these enormous paws and just

like couldn't bend them he oh yeah I got to ask him two questions he told he told me he's like you know, I can only do two because I had dental surgery. I think it was like the day before or a couple days ago. Gives me his first answer, and at the very end of it, whoop, spits out his teeth, and he caught him. Because they were falling out, and he caught him. And then he jammed them back into his mouth and looks at me, and he goes, all right, what's next?

Wow. Yeah, I think a lot of people think that being an athlete's healthy for you. It's not. No. And Bobby Bonds got this waddle back and forth because, I don't know, he broke his leg and then scored a cup-winning goal. Being an athlete at a normal level is good. It's the best thing you can do.

You're being healthy. But being an athlete at the 0.0001% of people on earth probably isn't the best idea. Once you retire and have to just live a normal life and your body is like, I don't know what this is. Be Justin Bourne. Do it for like five years and then chill. And just write and talk on the radio. Did you guys see the Ronaldo clip this week where he's like diving through the air and he he's like he's probably two or three Foot yeah above the other defender and it's off his head and in the net. Did you see it? No, it's crazy Steve

It's the most insane clip. But the thing I looked at was not him heading the ball into the net It's how he landed and he lands on one knee and this is a 35 year old, right? This is not a young man It's crazy. So good, but he's like he doesn't drink. He doesn't eat sugar like he looks basically the same Yeah, he's like insane like Johnny like Tom Tom Brady's insane. No, right like, you know those robbers Yeah, like no mushrooms. Nothing. That's a nightshade. I don't know what a nightshade was until Tom Brady told me It's an attack you can use with Gengar There you go. And also gas or it's when you're talking shit about somebody at night. It's a nightshade But

You have it up there Jesse. I'm just pulling it up for Steve You got to see this Steve before I can really but I want you to watch in this clip How he lands because that is the most interesting part Jesse's looking for it right now Okay, here's 35 year old wearing those weird long-sleeve soccer uniforms Okay, dude first of all how did he get that high look second of all? Oh, how does he do that? He's like a couple feet in the air And then he just lands on his left leg And it absorbs all of the power of his body

And he lands perfectly Ironically, you know what I was watching today Who's buddy on the Boston Celtics Who broke his leg Gordon Hayward That's what I was watching earlier today How didn't that happen to Ronaldo He's jumping, he's on an angle

And look at how high he is And look at the leg muscles He looks like two big chicken wings That's what he's walking on He's like an antelope. It's coming up again. Two big chicks. That's what he looks like.

It's crazy. Oh, my God. Let me see this. I don't even know how to. He is landing diagonally. All his force is taking him to the side. But he lands with a flat foot on his instep. How?

Did he play the rest of the game? See what I mean? He was fine. He was fine. And that's the thing. So he's 34. He's born in February. So he'll be 35 soon.

And he's still able to do that. And when you look at how high he's jumping, like, I think it's a bit like you're like, oh, yeah, of course he can jump. Okay, the defender's jumping and Ronaldo's waist is at the defender's eye. Look at that. That's how high up he is. He's easily four or five feet off the ground. It's absurd.

He reminds me of an old, listen to Joe Rogan talk about MMA. It's still fun. He's like, you know All men are created equal Nope They're not You don't try to be Anderson Silva Nothing you can do in your life

There's no training that will make you Anderson Silva That's why I love the Charlemagne book Fuck your dreams You can be Cowboy Cerrone Maybe Maybe if you work your absolute hardest possible But No

Anderson Silva is the best ever because he worked really hard and kicks like a nightmare. See, this is the difference. People always say, like, how come NHL teams can't get the first-round picks right, right? There's a lot of first-round picks. Remember we were talking about the 2004 draft last episode? How bad it was. Yeah, how many misses there were after Ovechkin and Malkin.

And what's interesting about it is you touched on it there, and that's obviously a Rogan thing. They have the ability, but a lot of these players and a lot of athletes in general have been so good their whole lives they don't know how to work hard, quote-unquote. Right? They don't know.

And you'll hear this a lot in NHL players being lazy. You're like, what are you talking about? How is that possible? Remember what they said about Jake DeBrusque and the other guys in Boston when they first came to camp? Out of shape. Out of shape, yep. All three of those first-round picks.

Because there is an extra gear. You are the 0.1% of people that can physically handle this, right? You're the Eric Carlson who can somehow heal your Achilles heel in six months when it takes the average person 18 months. You know what I mean? And somehow, someway, there are guys who get there and they have the talent. But then there's the guys that get there, they have the talent, and they have the mental stamina to push themselves. and that is something that's the other thing

that's the next that's the screwy thing that's the unbalanced thing it's the thing like Sid Crosby I wonder what it's like to talk to Sidney Crosby about not hockey

I don't think it happens like how long could you have a conversation with him where it didn't go back to hockey I don't know all the rumors I've ever heard about him

that's just what he does he's like the stereotype of Kurt Angle he just it's wrestling and drinking milk with Sid Crosby

It's, I guess, making Dempster's bread sandwiches And playing hockey That's what he does That is what he does That's what he does And, man, you can work so very hard But you can work your absolute hardest your entire life And you probably won't be able to pull off what Cindy Crosby can

And you could have started playing It's maybe not the greatest message to give kids, but No, you could have started playing hockey at two And there's still no chance There's no chance And that's not a bad thing It just means you weren't meant for that There's late bloomers, too

Yeah Yeah, Pavel Fransos, which is the fourth pronunciation of his name. Yeah, because we said Frans-oos for like a week now. And I said Frank-oos before that. Apparently it's Fransos, the backup goalie in Colorado. He's 29, I'm pretty sure. And you go and look at his entire career, and you're like, why didn't we know he was good?

10-1, 9-30 something. Something stupid like that. But you go and, oh, he was good in the KHL. Oh, he was good in the Czech League. Oh, he's, and all of a sudden he's been amazing for half a decade, and I'm wondering how long, or why it took this long for him to get here. Yeah. Yeah.

It's wild. Just a wild, anyway, the human body is a fascinating, fascinating thing. Yeah, we went to a lot of places with Jake Arden and Brogan back. I know that, like, goalies today are just, they're shaped different. It's like, oh, well, I made a goalie. Yeah. Like, the doctor hands the baby to the mom and goes, congratulations, it's a goalie.

Because they're just... Lottery. You can't train to have longer limbs. Yeah, you can't train to be 6'4", either. Yeah. And goalies today, they're just so good at angles. It's unfair that they can just be like, okay, this guy's at this position.

If I just stand here and I do this, I don't have to really do anything. The puck is just mathematically going to hit me in this little window. It's genius. That's Frederick Anderson, too. Yeah, it's definitely Cary Price. Isn't it sort of funny that it took the NHL this long to figure out, just get some pretty big guys and angle it off?

Yeah. Like, the fact that 5'9 Darren Pang ever played in the NHL is just shocking. Look at the size of Donnie Bauer. Greg Millen. Greg Millen. I don't want to take anything away from those guys. I don't at all. But if you were scouting back then, all they wanted was these big, bruising guys on forward and defense,

but these pipsqueaks in net? I feel bad for Jonathan Bernier, who was just drafted, like, I don't know, five, six years too late. Yeah. Like, everyone thought he was going to be this elite goalie because look at the things he can do. He's elite. Most goalies can't do the things he can do, but he's 5'11", which is just a thing of the past. I guess it was more, you've got to find a guy who's athletic and can move and is quick. But they never thought, hey, what about just a guy who's big and can block everything?

But they're drafting all these knuckle-draggers in the 80s and 90s. They're like, oh, we've got to protect our goalie. How about the goalie's just big? One of those guys. Yeah. He, speaking of Quick, this guy's a freaking unicorn, but I went back and watched the triple save that Quick made. It was either against Nashville or Boston in overtime. The one that just happened?

Yeah. No one plays goalie like that. But he's so fun to watch. Like, when he's on. Anyway, when he's on, like, the 2012 Cup run was so fun to watch. And don't look now, but the Kings and Quick are actually playing much better. Yeah, they won a bunch in a row, right? Well, and it's funny because a few weeks ago, there was like some analytics discussion.

And I saw a bunch of people go, well, the Kings analytics suck. And look at them. Or no, no, sorry. The Kings analytics are great. But look at them. They suck. And here they are. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.

They're coming back. They're 4-4-2 in their last 10. Let's not chugga, chugga. It's better than a last place. Let's not. Let's not. Chugga, chugga, baby. Let's not chugga, chugga that train too hard.

No, and I think they weren't using the right sound. I think a big reason for why their possession was good is they're always losing. Right. They're always playing from down. Yeah, they're second last in the entire Western Conference. Second! Woo! Who's last?

The Anaheim Ducks. Ew, really? And the Anaheim Ducks also have two games in hand on the Kings. 32 points for the Ducks, 34 for the Kings, the Blackhawks, and the Sharks. The Rangers are the only team that did crappy last year that are, like, actually competitive like I thought they would be. I thought the Rangers would be better. I thought the Devils would be better. Man, me too.

I thought the Ducks would be better. No, I didn't think that. I didn't think they were the Ducks. I didn't. Why did you believe in the Ducks? They won't be good for a little while. John Gibson and who? Because they have good prospects, and Dallas Eakins, their coach now.

That's right. He's coaching the NFL. I forgot. Yeah, because he did a great job with their farm team. It's the story of the Leafs all over again. and say, oh, yeah, he did well with the farm team. Let's call him up. Oh, whoops.

It's not his fault. He's been saddled with the crappy Oilers, and now the crappy Ducks. They're a poorly constructed team that has terrible salary cap implications. There's something there. There's something there with them. I think they might be another one of those teams that once everyone's ready, they make a real run. Also, low-key, back on the Jake Gardner thing, he hasn't had a great year.

No, he's been absolutely terrible. Remember how we said yes? Remember we said last episode, it's like, well, he's had eight points, in 35 games, which is odd for him. Which tells me the back might still be bugging him, although he says he's healthy. Well, it tells me he's not able to do the things that he needs to be able to do. Right. There were no stretches

during Jake Gardner's even struggles with the Leafs where he had 8 points in 35 games. No, he always had more. He's a half a point a game player. And what's interesting is that you don't hear about it because they win and their defense is really

strong. But it was really smart of him not to sign somewhere and put all that pressure on him Because imagine he signed again with the Leafs. Somehow they fit him under the cap. And he's playing like that. Or even Montreal, like you said. Oh, my God. That's just as crazy a media market.

Well, and he would have had to have been a bigger part of the Montreal Canadiens. Yeah. Which he's just not at that point in his career right now. I mean, who knows? If he says he feels good, maybe he'll be a rare example of getting better. But for right now, he can't do anything. Speaking of Montreal, Montreal won in overtime last night. You know what's shocking to me is the season Shea Weber's having.

Never in my wildest, and good for him. Have the Montreal Canadiens won that trade? At this point, I don't see. I mean, like, again, for two of three years since it's happened, you would have given it to the Nashville Predators. I stand by everything that I said at the time because it was right. Yeah, and I think if you look at it in three years, When Montreal's still paying Shea Weber and P.K. Subban's paying, like, the contract doesn't exist anymore,

I think you're going to still say that for cap alone, Montreal's going to get burned on that cap no matter what. Yeah. They're toast on that cap. So right now it's looking really good. But again, the whole idea was it's not that Shea Weber was bad. Shea Weber's fantastic. It's his contract. And the age, right?

But maybe he's going the Zidane O'Chara route. where it's like five or six years after you thought they'd be toast where they finally, ah! Like, Chara's still great. Like, he has really exposable flaws now, which he

never used to, but he's still great. Yeah, he is. Placed with strength. Weber might be great all the way until the end of that stupid thing. Chara is the Andy Pettit of the NHL. He slowed down and gotten better. I mean, yeah. Is there a smarter defenseman in the game than Zidane

know char well he gets away with everything so yes hockey acumen i don't think there's a smarter player interesting like uh like lidstrom but brutal yeah like lidstrom had the finesse though char has never been fully that although he's nobody was smart like to only throw one body check for a whole cup run like you need to be brilliant yeah right and char's char is he's a different kind of smart he's what i've always said about the bruins where he just knows how to get away with shit yeah and he understands how big he is and he understands his flaws and he's got this underrated people always focus on the uh power of his shot but they don't realize that he's got a deadly wrist or two oh yeah sneaky game three uh 2018 he scored uh to make it 2-2 bruins tied it

up and it was just like freddie gave him this sliver of light to look at and he just roofed it He's ridiculous. The World Juniors start here pretty soon. And one thing we never really cover on the show is the World Juniors. Because we're usually off, honestly, and we need a break. And maybe I'm not the typical hockey fan, but I just don't care anymore. And I don't know why. Can you tell me why?

Yeah, because I'm there, too, and I'm a little World Junior-ed out. Is it burnt out? it's see for me it's complicated because i i think this whole country caught the fever when they won five straight yeah um and they won it in such preposterous fashion the eberly 5.4 goal the shootout to win it um a really uh it wasn't the most even gold medal final but it was against sweden and there was so much heat there and jakob markstrom was the goalie and he dove the whole gold medal game and Canada was this bunch of brutes and Victor Hedman was on that team too it was so good so many stories the first and second overall with

Tavares and Hedman then the next year it was another great story to me Eberle had an even better clutch performance two goals to tie it in the final two minutes John Carlson wins it in overtime for the states it was whatever year it was might have even been 2011 where canada didn't even get a medal they finished like eighth or something i want to say there's that picture of boone jenner crying because he was on that team the interest started to die a little bit and then when it came back in 2015 and didn't sell out yeah it came back in 2015 and i mean mcdavid Duclair, Domi, Nick Patan, that hat trick. Yeah, he was unreal at that tournament.

Yeah, in 2013 and 2014, Canada didn't medal. Yeah, it was brutal. So, yeah. But it wasn't the same. Something wasn't the same. And maybe that's just us. Like, our time with the World Juniors has passed. And, like, is it a young tournament?

I don't think so because there's a lot of people that get really excited about it. Do we get more excited about it because the Leafs were complete garbage and it was just better to focus on the World Juniors? Well, if that were the case, then I would be more interested this year because they haven't been great. Well, maybe. Maybe they did great recently. Could that be it?

Like finally a team you can actually cheer for? Was that it? I couldn't cheer for the 9-10 Leafs. No. Or the 0-8-0-9 Leafs, which I think is the team that ended up winning the fifth straight. Because the hockey's fun. The hockey's fun. It's mistake-filled.

It's crazy. It's still unpredictable. There's something missing. I can't put my finger on it, though. I still like watching it. Yeah, I put it on. I always watch the gold medal game, no matter who's playing. It's always good hockey.

You don't follow it, though. Right. I used to dive into it. Right. I used to know when they do the pre-camps in the summer and when the rosters are finally announced and then now they're heading overseas and all that stuff, but we seem to don't follow it as closely anymore. Do we know that it's overhyped then?

Maybe. Is it even overhyped? Because the hockey's always good. It is, yeah, but I think it's about the future and you want to say, oh, I watched this guy at the World Juniors and oh, Nick Patan, he's going to hat trick every game and he's going to be frigging sick and he's you know he's in the nhl but he's nick patan right and there were there were so many of these guys you watch nigel does he's gonna be in the all-star game every year yeah khl you know justin pogey is that justin pogey that was oh god such a heartbreaker yeah

who could have seen tuka rask at those world juniors and thought pogey was the better one i just oh ah that drove me insane i don't think i honestly don't think the leafs watched It's pretty clear from the trade they didn't watch. Rask beat Sweden on his own. On his own. It was a Finland versus Sweden game, and I watched it not even knowing Rask was a Leaf prospect. Well, the reason it happened, though, that trade happened, though,

was because John Ferguson Jr. knew he would be an assistant GM in Boston one day, and Tuukka Rask would be his goalie, and now he is. 100%. And now they have 48 points in, like, three games. Makes me sick. It's crazy. Makes me sick. Yeah, I don't know, and I don't want to diss.

I'm not trying to diss it. Like, I don't need your angry tweets about how I'm stupid. Yeah, we all know TSN is the better network, and that's a given. Wow. So, like, we don't need to overhype anything. Well, I mean, they are the Toronto Sports Network. The what? Toronto Sports Network.

Toronto Net. Leafs Net. Do you think, is this just me, has TSN dialed back the promotion of it? I think so. I think they have, because they... They used to, like, follow the guys to their rooms, and it would be like... They way overdid it. Yeah.

Do you think they're just not allowed to do that anymore? Yeah, that might be a Hockey Canada thing. Yeah, like it's almost too much for these guys. I do know there is one person in the media who a player on Team Canada had to be like, can you get this guy away from me, please? Wow. Really? Hell yeah.

Well, that's a story you'll have to tell us after. Don't say who, but what happened? oh it's basically just this player on team canada just had to finally say to someone like enough with this guy like he basically he's too buddy buddy acting like he's their pal yeah yeah no get out of here yeah that can leave me alone i'm trying to play that can be a problem you're not you're a reporter you're not on the team you're not friends you're not friends with these people i didn't say anything it could be you know what the the thing about it's an odd position we're because I think there are people that have heard stuff

and there are people that we're aware have listened to this show and don't like us, or people that do, but there are people that we very definitely know don't like us. And it's funny because you have to cover them and they don't want to respond to you because they don't want to give, like they don't want to, apparently from what I've heard, specifically one guy does not like us at all. What is happening?

No, it's not in the media. It's a former player. Hates us. And, you know, Steve, you just can't remember because you can't remember. But as soon as I say it after the show is done, you're going to be like, oh, yeah, of course. We've talked about this multiple times. But there's a few people that it's such a weird thing in the media because you love the sport so much. You watch these guys all the time.

You sometimes get the chance to meet them. And then sometimes you meet them and you go, what have I said about this person that would probably make them hate me? Right. That is definitely a tough thing for me. And, like, I'm at a point in my career where, like, I don't want to talk to the Leafs. I'm not trying to be friends. No. Not because you wouldn't be friendly.

Yeah. But because it's, like, the career that you're in puts you at loggerheads with being friends with somebody, right? I'll just straight up say, like, one time while he was still a Leaf, I got a text from Ben Scrivens about something I said. Oh, really? And I was caught between, you know, I really like Ben, and, like, I consider him a friend, and also, this can't be happening. Wow. You know what I mean?

Wow. Like, Zach Hyman's a great guy, and I'll say hi to him whenever I see him, but, like, I don't know. It's got to be arm's length. Yeah, and I know Paul Bissonnette, he's just, like, he hates us. Nah, does he? What? Yeah, all the time.

He, like, gets in my face, and he's like, you know? I don't know if Paul Bissonnette knows who I am. If he does, he hates you. I believe it. And I'm like, Ben's nasty. You need to chill. Dangle's a good dude. and he's like, nah, I'm going to knock him out with some vodka.

Listen to Spittin' Chicklets. The one time I ever spoke to him, I think I've told this story before, it was for a Nike shoot, and we could only, it was like a five-minute interview, and we could only use like ten seconds of it because he spent the entire time chirping my shoes. That's so funny. He was chirping my Nike shoes because, I don't know, it was a busy shoot, and I like scuffed him on something, and he's making fun of my Nike shoes.

That's amazing We couldn't use it You're a freaking idiot Do you think he knew? I don't know Do you think he Galaxy-brained it? No, I think he was trying to be funny Yeah

And he was But Nike's like Those are our products You may not make fun of them Can I give you an example, by the way Of when you met someone And you go What have I said?

Okay John Scott Oh my god, yeah And you surprised me What if we had him on the show? Had him on the show, yeah Because I had him at BT And he had his book out, right?

Yeah And that's how I got him on the show here mm-hmm, and it was funny because I don't think he knew that we talked about No, cuz I think American washin ski. Thank God. They took all the heat for that They did because it was funny that whole situation for voting for him for the all-star game literally the same day are Both of our episodes come out yeah And we both went to the same place about voting for John Scott for the all-star game Yeah, and it was funny because afterwards people were like hey Did you guys like like there was a couple of a couple people on Twitter?

they were like, uh, you guys playing this? You ripped off American Rusinski. Yeah, which we didn't. You ripped the ball off. They had the same idea. I'll be honest, their episode came out the same day ours did. I didn't have time to listen to it before we did our show. This is my story from that day. So we recorded the podcast, and then I went to the

CBC studios from the other Sportsnet campus where the protest was. And Merrick comes up from behind me, taps me on the shoulder. He's like, hey, see the John Scott stuff? And I went, yeah Oh yeah, you heard?

He's like, huh? I'm like, you heard our show? Like it just got uploaded You got it on notifications or something? He's like, no, we did that And I went, uh-oh And I went and looked at the website And he was fifth already

And I was like, uh-oh And then he won by like a landslide Well, yeah, they were Well, it wasn't winning It was just the same idea No, no, no, John Scott won Oh, yeah, I thought you meant Merrick won the war of who did it first. I did not want to win it.

Well, they took all the shit from the NHL, and we didn't. So thank God for that. The league called them, didn't they? Yeah. Called Sportsnet and was like, what the fuck? Maybe there is one legendary Merrick story about that, but it's just not mine to tell. One day he'll tell. We've got to have him back on.

Oh, yeah. That was one of the most fun episodes we've ever done. We'll do ice surfing on the podcast. Whoa, Jeff surfing. Jeff surfing. Jeff surfing. We have a title already He is

Jeff's one of the great minds In hockey broadcasting What I would love to do with Jeff Is some sort of Because he's got like An encyclopedia mind right He's got one of those minds That you like read the page

And it's committed to memory Right I would love to do like An NHL fights version of that Oh yeah So he knows them all So would he know the dates They happened on

And why they happened And stuff like that too Oh my Yes He I We had I had a podcast a long time ago with Justin Fisher, and we had Merrick on.

And I go, what's the best hockey fight you've ever seen? He took a second and he goes, Nasty John Morasty versus Steve Bossay in the Quebec Senior League. Okay, Jeff. And I looked it up, and damn it if it's not the best hockey fight I've ever seen in my entire life. It's insane. Cocaine fists. Just the entire time. Was it the 80s?

uh no no it was like i think the year started with the two wow really just shocked freaking shocked uh john marasti he is a great guy to look up youtube videos for all his fights are a thousand punches per fight there is one fight i remember from the year i covered the khl he played for a team called vidas which is basically owned by a gang uh and they only wanted to see fights and he's in a fight with this poor russian guy and the russian guy is punching john scott uh john scott john morasty in the head morasty looks at someone sticks out his tongue like a lunatic and then turns around and one punches the guy who he was allowing to punch him in the head there's another video of um john morasty and yablonski i forget his first

name, but Vetus had four of the meanest goons from North America, and they just used all their import slots to have these guys on their team. Because the owners of the team just loved fights. And they never wanted to make the playoffs. They never wanted to win, right? That was the weird thing with that team. They just didn't care.

And then, so those guys are at a wedding, and a bunch of these guys, someone pulled out their phone, and a bunch of these guys at the wedding are just drunk off their asses, and they're trying to fight them. And these poor guys are trying to say, no do you know who i am like mma emmet like and oh yeah that was another thing in the off season

they fought mma not trained fought um like actual pro fights yes so it mma mma and they just the video ends with them knocking out an entire wedding they just yeah they knocked out like a dozen people because they wanted to fight look it up john murasty uh and yablonski it's freaking ridiculous. That's insane. It's on YouTube, this wedding fight between these two guys. It's like four of them, they're backed against a wall, and they're like no, this is going to end very poorly for you, trust me.

I don't even want to see this. Yeah, I'm almost like, I'm like, that's Well, the guy holding the camera is going, Merasty, Yablonsky, he's the one guy who knows. This sounds terrible. And he's like, oh, let me pull out my Russian camera, because I know this whole wedding's about to get knocked out. And then they

knocked out the whole wedding. I probably could use that for insurance. Are we going to get to Bachelor by this? Yeah, we are. But let me just tell you one quick thing. All right. Did you guys see the back and forth between Sean Simpson of TSN and Darren Drager? No. I saw one.

So let me just read the sequence of tweets to you, and then we'll get to the things. I'm sorry. Wasn't Sean Simpson the guy who allegedly was sort of in the running for Sens GM? I think so. And he's also, wasn't he part of the Leafs too at one point? Wasn't he part of Leafs men? I don't know. Anyway.

So he's in Ottawa, I believe, now. Yeah, 12, TSN 1200. He tweeted this yesterday. Duchesne has the cement legs going. Little flashes and tricky plays, but no real pace. Which is a legitimate criticism. You can say that. Darren Dreger retweets him and says,

always an easy game from where we sit, Simmer. i mean oh so you're just never supposed to critique just everything's fine then all players are trying their best and you should never criticize anyone for anything so sean sean simpson tweets him back and says not easy at all dregs we are paid to give professional opinions do you agree or disagree i didn't think i'd take this guy's side on a debate But, yep. Darren Drager retweets him and says, Nothing wrong with opinion, but I haven't watched every Preds game this season or every Dushane shift.

Not sure I would ever use, quote, cement legs to describe an NHL player. That's just me. Dot, dot, dot. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Yes, what is? Yes, it is just you. I saw, it was Platinum Seat Ghost goes,

Oh, God, who's Dushane's agent? Yeah. And then, by the way, it's Brisson. Yeah, it's not. Sean Simpson then retweets him and says, I've watched lots and watched him in every game in Ottawa. Can you give me a scouting report on his play? Love to hear what terms you use.

Oh, geez. This is awkward. These are two TSM guys. Yeah. This is where it gets weird. Right? It goes from like, it's very odd. And then it goes, and then it gets personal here a little bit.

It feels like anyway. Can you give me a scouting report on his play? Love to hear what terms you use. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. Are they quote tweeting each other? Yes. They're doing this publicly.

Why? And this is over the course of an hour. It starts at 8.45. We're now at 9.54. Darren Dreger, not going to spar with you, Simmer. Not that invested. I would rank Duchesne among the many NHL stars. You lean to the negative, but you use your platform as you see fit.

I didn't realize, quote, cement legs is still used as a common scouting term. Wow. You're telling me scouts do not say I don't like how this player skates. And Sean Simpson retweets him again. and says in caps K well in cap

is that not the most awkward back and forth you've ever seen in your entire life that is so passive aggressive that is going to be so awkward when they see each other at high school on Monday I couldn't believe it was two guys from the same company going back and forth like that take this offline boys

yeah that's bad text each other you must have each other's numbers i guess maybe they lost it now but like part of me is like okay yeah i i see i 100 see sean simpson's thing where it's like hey man like yeah i was just using a term to describe duchesne's play but then he goes so far like it goes at him so hard and it's like whoa whoa whoa i don't even think duchesne would care about that no like that's that's very run-of-the-mill criticism right for sure and that's just saying you're having a slow night and that happens but then to have

that went there but he went at Dregs pretty hard for it too yeah what the hell what's going on there man it's just like

both parties are it's like I think he was pretty upset that he's a game for us Simmer it's like well that's what I'm paid

to do man and then Ian Mendes is just sitting there like I'm just kind of a nice guy yeah but Eugene Melnick banned me from everything

remember didn't he get banned from everything because you need Eugene Melnick because you need Eugene Melnick he wasn't allowed to do

I got a lot of time for you Ian Mendes. We've got Bachelor bios. So these are the Bachelorettes, but the show is The Bachelor. This is the version. So it's women, right? Yes.

There's the guy, and they're all fighting for this guy. The guy this season, Peter Weber. What's Peter about? I'm going to read his bio here. Tell me what you think about Peter. It's a boring name. It is.

It is a very boring name. All the Peters listening are like, what? Excuse me. Peter Weber. No, no, Peter Weber. You know what's a really boring name? Pete, as in Blackburn. Yeah.

Take your short kings and shove it. That is my new favorite brand. Is he just cheers for the NHL short players? Yeah. Sam Gerard and Alex DeBrinckhausen. He's very good at what he does. God damn. That guy's a genius.

I just like sometimes going through Pete's Twitter and just being like, what did he tweet today? Yeah. Oh, every now and then, like if he says something about the Leafs where I go, what? I got to remind myself, it's Pete. Yeah, yeah. He's the best. He's so funny. Airline pilot Peter Weber caught the attention of bachelorette Hannah Brown and all of America

the first night they met, stepping out of the limo and expressing his desire for a co-pilot in life. While Peter seemed sweet at first glance, it became clear this charming man in uniform could bring the heat. The passion between Hannah and Peter was undeniable. After expressing his love to her and spending a memorable night in a windmill together, all of America was left shocked and heartbroken with Hannah's decision to end the relationship. Returning home from Greece, Peter was forced to confront his pain and pick up the pieces of his broken heart. Now, Peter is back to take his search for true love to new heights on the 24th season of ABC's hit romance reality series, The Bachelor, premiering January 2020. That is a great elevator pitch.

Wow. Damn. That is a really good elevator pitch. ABC can write. See, Hannah Brown chose Jed Wyatt as her fiancé, although they broke up after filming. After it emerged through People magazine that Wyatt had been in a relationship with another woman prior to and during his stint on The Bachelorette. Brown later asked runner-up Tyler Cameron out on a date. Hannah, I think it's about time you just move on.

How are you going to cheat on national television? Yo, I don't know how people think they can get away with that. That's a wild story. Every year someone thinks they can... You know what I notice about a contestant on The Bachelor? The audacity. It's crazy how they're like, hey, I'm going to go on national television, and my girlfriend back home is not going to realize that I'm on TV.

Yeah, honey, I'm going on a business trip for two months. Six to eight months. I'll be back. By the way, I looked up Jed White on Google, and he looks like how a Toby Keith song sounds. His name is Jed. Does he look like ripped jeans and a cold beer? Yes.

It's a ripped jeans and a cold beer on a Saturday night. Is that a Toby's song? Back of my pickup truck in my cowboy boots, it's a ripped jean and cold beer kind of night. Yeah, there's a top ten list of things I must rent. First of all, that was really good. Thank you, thank you. It's literally like country music is either rock from the 70s or 90s pop with ten different things in it that make it country. Cold beer, my girl, boots, truck, maybe your dog.

Probably jeans. Jeans is a very popular country topic. Especially Wrangler. They go deep, man. They go deep. They got to be Wrangler, though. They got to be Wrangler jeans. I think there's a Toby Keith song called I Like This Bar, and I actually really like that song.

Self-aware country is listenable. Yeah. Like, he's got another song called Red Solo Cup. Also great. You ever listen to a country song and go, ugh, they mean it. Yeah, yeah. Turn it off. They mean it.

Oh, these guys are kidding. Yeah. Keep this one on. Yeah. No, he's kidding. That's fine. Country songs at the end of their talk to listen to. So a native of Westlake Village, California, Peter, 28, grew up just minutes from the bachelor mansion.

Wow. He's in his prime. He was raised with a strong example of the marriage he wants by his loving parents. Having met while working on the same flight for over 30 years ago, Peter's parents have set the perfect example of lasting love. So that's crazy. His parents met on a, they worked together on an airline. That's beautiful. He and his brother, Jack, followed in their parents' footsteps, developing a passion for aviation.

At 23, Peter was working as a pilot, and by 25, he landed his dream job as captain for a major commercial airline. Landed. Another good thing they do is just all the little aviation stuff. All right. New heights. All that's missing now is someone to whom to share his life, with whom to share his life. When Peter isn't flying for work or fun, he's embracing his mother's Cuban culture in the kitchen or letting loose on the dance floor. This hopeless romantic is eager to find his co-pilot to join him for a full life of love.

Damn, if he can make a good Cuban sandwich, I'd sign up for this show. I love Cuban sandwiches. So that's Peter. That's Peter Weber. Now you guys know. Now everybody listening knows. The Pete dog. Now we're going to run through the people they've brought in to potentially spend a life of co-piloting with Peter.

I'm just picturing the corny ABC writer. All right, he's a pilot, so we're going with pilot lines. Everyone who thought we were going with Cuban cigars, sorry to disappoint you. And there's one writer just crip, crip an entire notepad. They're like, damn it, I did the Cuban ones. I dedicated six months to cigar jokes Damn it It's my dream to write bachelor bios

For CBC, ABC Damn it I think I will do this I'll read out So Amy Kaufman Who's a writer for the LA Times Amy in LA Love her

Great Twitter account So she did little tweet summaries of the bios I'm going to read the little tweet summaries that Amy Kaufman has done. When you hear a red flag, wave your red flag, and we'll do a deep dive into the rest of their bio. Gotcha. You cool with that, Adam? Yeah, I'm into it. All right.

Start with Aaliyah. Aaliyah, 24, won Miss Texas in 2019 after entering or competing in the pageant three times previously. In her spare time, she likes to write poetry and scroll through Reddit. she actually seems kind of cool yeah i'm struggling to i mean i myself scroll through reddit i write you were a pageant queen beauty queen yeah i mean i think this sort of goes with the territory right don't you have to be obnoxiously hot on both sides yeah so it's like okay yeah i would expect you won some beauty competitions what's her name alia alia i and i like alia's Aaliyah.

They still have two A's. Or three A's. Aaliyah. Okay, red flag. All right. No, she's cool. Avon Leah. Her full name is Avon Leah?

A-V-O-N-L-E-A. Avon Leah. Avon Lee? Avon Lee? I think it's Avon Lee. I think it's Avon Lee. I'm going to go with Avon Leah. I think there's a show called Road to Avon Lee, too.

What do her friends call her? Lee or Av? Maybe they call her Von? Road to Avonlea She's 27 What is the show about? Road to Avonlea Sarah Stanley is said to live with her deceased mother's relatives

In the town of Avonlea January 7th, 1990 to March 31st, 1996 And it has a 8.5 out of 10 on IMDB Curiously similar story and timeline to Harry Potter Yeah, right 27 Cattle rancher who thanks her cows

For their hard work each time she milks them Okay I like that I'm polite to animals Do we want to do a deep dive onto Avonlea Yeah you want to learn a little bit more about her Alright let's pull up the full bio Okay

Here's why One reality show character Has changed How I view The Hard working gal There's a character Below deck

Is a show that I've talked about many times It's about yachties Which is just people who work on yachts Lil Yachty The rapper She was a boat captain in Alaska And she's one of those tough I mean you gotta be nails to friggin survive in Alaska

Period And then to survive on the water it's a different thing Here's the thing about her She will punch you in the neck At any given moment for no good reason So whenever I Here's someone that might fit that profile I'm like, oh, she might punch someone in the neck

I want to know if Avonlea Will punch someone in the aorta She's looking for a gentleman Who knows how to take care of a Texas woman A Texas woman Here we go That's an orange flag That one's orange

She may be a city slicker now But she lived on a ranch until she was 13 And up until that point in her life She assumed everyone had cattle in their homes With her degree in ranch management, this Texas beauty has quite a diverse lifestyle. When Avonlea's not working hard in the family cattle ranching business, she's strutting her stuff on the runway for local Texas designers. So she's a model.

Local? Okay, I can get behind that. Wait, is this her full bio, or is there more bio if I say red flag? There's more bio coming. Are you serious? Yeah. Wow, it's deep. Okay, let's keep going. Yeah, I told you. go ahead. There's the quick summaries

and then if you want to do a deep dive, I'll read the full paragraph on them. If you hate this, it's once a year. Shut up. I'm having so much fun. A lot of people really like it. No, let's go deep dive. Deep dive this one. Alright, we can keep going on her. There are days when I'm bailing hay in the morning and going and doing a runway

show at night. That's her quote. Okay. You could definitely say Avonlea lives the best of both worlds. Avonlea's ideal husband knows what he wants and goes for it. She wants someone who values family above all else and believes in romantic signs from above. Speaking of signs,

Romantic signs from God? Romantic signs from above. That's what she says. Okay. Speaking of signs, Avonlea's parents first met when her mom was a flight attendant. Sound familiar?

Oh. They wrote sound familiar in the bio. Pete the pilot. And then here's her three things. What's my opinion about her? I don't know. It's up in the air. give me a job

fasten your seatbelts we're getting ready for takeoff oh Adam oh I'm sorry so Avonlea is a certified scuba diver

and has traveled to almost 50 states in an RV I don't know she sounds kind of cool that came out of nowhere though the RV thing

I would do the RV thing yeah but where did that come from like this whole time we're talking about her ranch stuff and then all of a sudden we learn that

She's been around America in an RV? Yeah. I think they just decided to focus on the ranch theme. Because that's always a popular theme. So did she spend her 20s in an RV? The second part of her bio is clashing with the first one. Because 50 states in an RV is a lot of years. I want family first and also non-stop travel adventure.

And a fucking scuba dive too, somehow. As I was driving through North Dakota. Yeah, like this Am I wrong saying this sounds like too many things? Well, she definitely seems like You would have to be a high energy person You know there are high energy people That's totally fine

Okay, am I Are we now getting into void filling territory? What do you mean? You do a bunch of different stuff to fill a void Because you're running from something? I don't know Or you're RVing for the podcast Oh yeah, she's not running

She's RVing RVing, yeah And scuba-ing and also ranching and walking catwalking catwalking did I miss that one

yeah she she's a pageant queen and then at night she's a model she runs the ranch in the morning and she models at night I was literally

picturing her picturing her with like a leash walking cats oh my god what the fuck wait that's a thing who knew

I was confused that's so cute that you have your own leash I was like I'm a leash a psycho why would she do that

I'm an idiot Alright, Jesse, keep it going We're going to the next one Next one, let's go Alexa, an esthetician Who owns her own waxing salon She's a what? Esthetician

Esthetician Who owns her own waxing salon She will call people out to their face And hates roller coasters Oh, give me the red freaking flag right here You think Alexa? I love people like this You know, it's like

These are the people that are like Hey, you're a piece of shit You know me, I just say it how it is You know what I mean? And you're like, wow, you were just extremely insulting Yeah, but you know I speak the truth I tell it how it is And they surround themselves with a bunch of sycophants

Who are like, yeah, she just says it how it is I just hope she doesn't talk about me Okay, so she will call someone up to her face And what? And likes a good puzzle And hates roller coasters Okay, so she's out there cussing at roller coasters She will throw a drink on someone

but it'll be when they're by the pool so they're wearing a swimsuit so even though she threw a drink on them it's not high stakes because they're ready to get wet anyway you know someone is really mad at you

if you're wearing clothes and they throw a drink at you she's a posing drink thrower so Alexa deep diving into her bio because somebody raised their red flag I did I did Alexa she puts in her factoids. She decided to move to Chicago during a game of heads or tails Red flag

To penalty flag down on the field all right Yeah So she had just broken up with her high school sweetheart of seven years and was finally ready to to move on so in a game Of heads of tail she decided to move to Chicago. She got her esthetician license and opened up her own waxing so far. That's great Yeah, she said she calls herself a total free spirit and it has a lot of hippie in her She's all about love and acceptance. But at the same time except for what she has to call your shit out She's all about love and acceptance but at the same time this girl has opinions and isn't afraid to express them Oh, she prides herself on being the type of person to call people out to their face rather than behind their back.

Can I be honest with you? Anybody that says it quite that way, and I feel like they're transcribing, is somebody that probably is too aggressive when they're saying. See, Steve, if I needed to address an issue with Steve, I would address it with Steve. But I wouldn't be like, Steve, I need to call you out for something. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're saying it with attitude. There's a, ooh, there's an edge to that, you know? Adam and I have known each other long enough that we've had fights.

Yeah. I think, I don't know, we're a good couple because we fight well. Yeah, we're just like, hey, hey. Hey. Okay. It's never been, Adam. I need to call you out on something. You better listen up.

I'm not afraid to call you out to your face. You get your jeans out of the goddamn freezer, Adam. okay am i off base saying that someone who fancies himself a free spirit slash hippie is probably self-centered uh but it's yeah your friends have to call you that it's the worst because she says she's a she's a hippie which is about love but i'm gonna call you out love and acceptance yeah what the fuck is that that is adam you're so good at this yeah your friends to be a free spirit your friends have to

call you that kids I am a free spirit it's like me saying I'm an old soul you'd be like what shut up no that's something someone has to say

about you you know about like the closest thing I've ever gotten to that is Steve's like different dude I can't be like you know I'm a different dude

people would be like what the fuck are you talking about but Steve says it and it's like oh now it makes sense no self-proclaimed old souls

always think they're way smarter than they are you're like oh I love Edgar Allan Poe and I love reading dickheads by myself.

Oh, you're a wanker. Yeah. Oh, you're a complete wanker. Yeah. Oh, you're the kind of person who gives their kid a bad name so you can tell people at a party why you chose that name.

Yeah. Great. So anyway, this is Atticus. No, I actually like old dudes. This is my kid, Atticus, and Harper. You know, Harperly. Anyway, the... My cousin who you work with

has a daughter named Harper, you bastard. We're gonna wave our two or three red flags for Alexa. Please stay away, Peter. We're moving on to Courtney. Courtney's 26, a cosmetologist who is extremely claustrophobic and extremely turned on by men in cowboy boots.

Cosmetologist. Is that makeup? Yes. Okay. Was that or space? I think we're good to move on. All right, Courtney. I mean, like, good for her.

Men in cowboy boots are good. You're a regular-ass person. To look for with her, she is the one who gets picked on. Why? I just smell it. By the way, liking, yeah, no, never mind, never mind. All right. No, let's keep going.

Well, because there's the bully. Let's move on. There's always the bully, and then there's the one who gets picked on. Oh, I think we just talked about the bully. Oh, yeah. D'Andra, 23. I'm going to call you up my flower crown, motherfucker. Anyway, sorry, continue.

Take this. The kind of person. Flowers in your face. She just takes it off and whips it at you and be like, time to be called out. Starts a mosh pit at Coachella. Yeah, I know what you mean. Alexa's the worst. No, starts a mosh pit at Woodstock in 69.

Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Where the stakes are, people actually die. Sorry. 23 is a home care coordinator whose favorite feeling in the world is being the center of attention. Red flag. Okay, there we go. Let's get into it.

She has 10 siblings. She wants a man who will kill a spider for her as she runs away screaming. Okay. So she's got 10 siblings and wants to be the center of attention? She's Ron Weasley. Stop. I don't blame her for wanting to be the center of attention after being, like, one of ten kids. Yeah, I can't blame her for that.

She's Ron Weasley. Let's keep going. I know what she sees in the mirror, Rivera said. You want to learn a little about her? Yeah. Red flag's up, so. Yeah, red flag is up. D'Andra still cries when she gets her blood drawn.

She considers herself to be a farmer's market aficionado. Oof. She hates EDM. What's EDM? Electronic dance music. She hates Edmonton. I was about to say. What do you got against the Oilers, man?

I was just calling it techno. Oh, she's from Calgary. I don't like White Ave. I hate it. Jerome McGill, I can't stand him. That's the only good thing about him. Hey, you know what? The Gretzky Oilers weren't that great anyway.

Oh, boo. If you ever adjust their stats, they weren't all that impressive. Animal garbage. Anyway, continue. She's independent, intelligent woman who comes from a diverse background and isn't afraid to be herself. She was born in Texas, but grew up in Maine and spent a whole lot of time in Nigeria where her father was born. Oh, worldly. I like that. She's now moved back to Texas and loves to spend her free time bar hopping and trying out new restaurants.

One thing D'Andra has going for her is that since she has grown up, grew up with 10 siblings, she knows how to stand out in a crowded room. Her favorite feeling in the world is being the center of attention, and according to her mom, she thrives in the spotlight. D'Andra has been in one serious relationship in her life and is ready to find her forever. She's going to go deep. You think so? I think she's going to go deep.

Because that whole show is you need to stand out in the crowd. And she's had to fight with 10 siblings her whole life. Oh, she's going to be good at this. But, like, not fight-fight, like charm. Yeah, you're right. She's going to go deep. You're right. Good point. All right, let's move on to the next one.

All right. That's a good point. Wow. Eunice, 23, flight attendant. They're lining up the flight attendants. Flight attendant who can knock back Uzi like it's water. Uzo. Uzo.

What's Uzo? Knock back Uzi. In the States, you can imagine it could be Uzi. She's good at Grand Theft Auto? No, Uzo is... The Greek shot. It tastes like black licorice, I think. Her signature dance move is something called

The ponytail helicopter Oh she just swings her head around She's Willow Smith I went to school with that Remember Uppercash He would always put the glow stick in his head And while doing it with his hands He would also swing his head

Hannah Ann 23 She's a model who lives with her parents Where the walls are all decorated with her artwork She's painted Oh no Do you want to learn more about that? She's probably, yo, red flag, only child. I guarantee it.

And I say this as an only child. Adam would never date himself. Would you date yourself, Adam? I could not date someone as selfish as I am. That's a good line. There's got to be balance, man. That's a good line. Yeah, they've got to cater to just you.

Hannah Ann could watch home improvement shows all day and never get bored. When Hannah Ann is nervous, she becomes very talkative. Hannah Ann's home is decorated with artwork that she painted. She grew up in Tennessee with her younger sister and younger brother. Not an only child. Two siblings. Her parents are not her only role models. They are also her landlords, as she still lives at home.

Does she pay rent, though? 23. That's important. They don't mention. If you pay rent, then I have mad respect. If you pay your parents rent, mad respect. I can't talk shit. 23, I was still living at home.

There you go. I was in and out. She travels the world for work and would love to find a man to join her on her adventure. She has a cute southern twang, which we know Peter is a sucker for. Hannah Ann describes her last relationship as all chemistry but little friendship.

Now Hannah Ann is ready to find a man who she can be her best friend. Hannah Ann's getting on my nerves. Is Ann her middle name? No, I think they call her Hannah Ann. There's probably two Hannahs, that's why. Maybe. I'd rather be Hannah 2.

Hannah and it just doesn't work. What are we giving Hannah? She's there. I thought I was going to be like, and my parents did this for me. And my parents did this for me. Because you've got to think about that. It's your parents' house, and it's decorated with your artwork. And that's why I defaulted to only child.

because parents of only children such as myself tend to be overly proud of their very otherwise mediocre kids. Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood. There you go. Jade, 27. Flight attendant. She got married at 22 due to pressure from her Mormon culture.

If she had to describe her aesthetic, she would call it organized chaos. Okay. I already like this person. You know why? What? Because she went against her own societal norms and got a divorce

in Mormonism. She had to escape shit. Dude. There's some character there. There's someone who's lived life. Yeah. I want her to stand

for something. I like it. All those escaping Amish shows? Well, Mormonism isn't that. Parts of it are. Wow. But majority of...

I don't want to... It's a different version of it. Yeah, it's a little different. But it's all the same. You are expected to get married awfully young and expected to play a role and good for her

for not doing that. So what's the... What does she go on to say? She grew up... I have a thing stuck in my throat. You'll be okay. I believe in you. Is that actually San Pellegrino, or is that your bottle that you've been reusing?

It is. This is a fresh one. I bought it when I went over to Longo's today. Wow. Keep going. She grew up in Mormon culture where she says there was a lot of pressure to get married. Unfortunately for Jade, that's what she did. At 22 years of age, she knew right away that she and her ex were not compatible for the long haul.

Very mature. That is. Now that Jade's divorce is finalized, she has a new outlook on love and knows exactly what she's looking for. She spends her time working as a flight attendant and is currently working towards her private pilot's license. Good for her. When she's not on the job, she loves to go line dancing and considers herself to be a two-step queen. Are her and Peter too similar or will these two hit it off immediately and line dance straight to each other's hearts? jade claims that she hosts the best game night in town even though she's a flight attendant jade is

very afraid of heights interesting if jade has to assign an aesthetic to her life it would be organized chaos i think she's a front runner i like her she's i'm gonna say naturally curious and there's common ground there you know they got an interest in flying that's important to have something major like that but i think to be in such a like a secluded upbringing and then i'm going to be a flight attendant and try to become a pilot where I can go wherever the hell I want? Yeah. She's naturally curious and confident enough to dance. You can tell

the era has changed around us, because the first time we did this, they were just the most obnoxious, weird bios, and now they're very thoughtful. Hey, my name's Fuck, and I like to wear three hats at the same time! Yeah! And now it's like, it's like, well, we're going to treat them with respect.

Finally. But now there's, like, you can see there's some passion behind this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they did change up the way they're writing these bios. Yeah. So Jasmine25 is a client relations manager who's turned off by guys who sit on the couch all day and play video games. Okay, move on. If I want to sit on the damn couch, I'm an adult, and I bought that damn couch.

I don't think you and Jasmine are going to last. I don't think so. I think you should not give Jasmine a rose. I would not, because I like my time on the couch. She would consider proposing to a man who can get her Chick-fil-A on a Sunday. Is this Jasmine still? This is Jasmine still. So Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays.

So you want microwave Chick-fil-A. So she would never propose to a man. Or is that she wants someone to go above and beyond? You want a day-old Chick-fil-A sandwich is what I'm hearing. I don't get it. I already don't like Jasmine. It's not that I don't like her. I just know that we would not.

Because you like video games. It's not good when you're flat. Yeah, because I like to chill out sometimes, man. What the hell's the problem with that? Fuck, Jasmine. Sorry, I have a little bit of PTSD from that because I love my parents, but my parents have this Victorian way of always got to be doing something. And so I'm sort of like that sometimes.

And then I crash. The crops. Yeah. So it's nice for me now as an adult because I can actually sit on my couch and do nothing, and it's okay. You know what's not good? Sometimes that's okay. When your bio is exhausting.

Let's keep moving. Jasmine's best friend is her golden retriever named Gnarls Barkley. Shit, I don't like her. Oh, the name! Move, move. You don't like me? Jasmine! Move, move.

Next person, next, next, next. Golden retriever, yes! I've been calling next for three sentences here. Let's keep going. I don't give a golden retriever a shitty name! I hate her! I named her after a guy that had a couple hits. Jasmine will know that she's met the man of her dreams when he can help her build a table.

Like Ikea? I don't know. She just says when she knows she can build. Help her build a table. This person is steamed carrots. Personified. Good line. All right, Jesse, you may as well keep reading.

Jenna 22. We're moving on from Steve's carrots. You want more Jasmine? You hate Jasmine. Everybody hates Jasmine. I want to hate her more. Let's keep going with Jasmine. She will consider proposing.

She finds a man. and get her Chick-fil-A on Sunday. Exhausting. She was in one serious relationship that lasted for three years, but when her ex suddenly decided that he didn't want to have kids, Jasmine sent him packing

because that's a deal breaker. She enjoys traveling, attending her book club meetings, cooking, rock climbing, and volunteering at her church every Sunday. She'd like to travel the world before she starts a family and specifically would like to go back to Vietnam

where her family is from. She speaks Vietnamese fluently, Loves Vietnamese traditions And her family has incorporated them into her life That's cool That's really cool That's a good end It's a lot different from the stuff that led us to Jasmine

I wondered if She sent him packing Or did he just drop dead because he couldn't keep up She was rock climbing too much Rock climb and then I want to learn a different language And then I want to Fly around the world And don't you dare sit on that couch

Get back up again We got other shit to do You're going to build a table. Yeah, we got tables to build here, man. She's being very specific, though, with the things she doesn't like. That's a good thing. What if her, A, that's a good thing. What if that long-term boyfriend was a loser?

Three years. Yeah, maybe it's all in context of who the person is. If that's all you do, I've dated someone like that. That's all they did. Sure. I can understand that. That's frustrating. I get it.

But if it's a Saturday morning, and you're like, hey, it's 6.30 in the morning, let's get out for a hike. Hell to the no. I'm going to sit around, and I'm going to watch sports highlights, and have a coffee, and snuggle my dogs, and that's what I'm doing. Okay, so tell you what. The scouting report's bad. Who knows, maybe once she hits the ice, she'll be great. She sounds impressive. There's something there.

Oh, we turned. Yeah, we did. It was the last sentence. Speeds a different language. Wants to go traveling. instead of like, yeah, I'm interested in all that. College free agent status. I think she got burned by her ex a little bit.

Jenna, 22, is a nursing student who would do anything to eat pasta with Chrissy Teigen. She says her pet goldfish, George, gives great advice. That's a great name for a fish. Okay, I like her. I like her. I like her. Kiara, 23, is a nanny who prefers napping to almost any other activity. Adam's wheelhouse.

Yo, I feel you, Kiara. I feel you. I'm not saying I need to know more, but I feel her. I love napping. How old are you? 23. Okay. Additionally.

Way too damn young to be getting married. Come on, man. Yeah. I mean, unless you can make it work good for you, but I wasn't really a person until I was like 29. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every year, I just look back at me from six months ago and I go, I hate you.

What a dick. Sometimes it's not even six months. Sometimes it's like a month. Yeah. And you're like, oof. Wow, I needed to be that piece of shit to realize, wow. There's nothing worse than waking up the day after being an idiot the day before. Like, just, oh, you idiot.

Kiara also loves talking and says her greatest skill is that she can literally talk to a brick wall about anything and everything. That's your greatest skill? That's her greatest skill. Okay, I want to keep going. You want a little more? I'm going to hide the flag because I don't know anything about her. All right, all right. Let's get a little more on Kiara.

Let me just bring up her bio here. She's extremely turned off by men who grind their teeth. Yo, IFTMJ, you dick. I don't know what that is. That's a jaw issue when you grind your teeth in your sleep. Is the J a jaw? Yeah. All right, I figured out a part of it.

It's totally mental jaw. That's what it means. Is that actually? No, it's not, but it sucks. I believe you. That's why people on the podcast have been like, what the hell is with Adam's jaw? Because I keep going like this all the time. is because my jaw is clicking and popping at all times.

I actually made a physio appointment for the first time ever to actually get my jaw looked at because I'm trying to rehab my jaw, huh? You ever got it broken? No, it just sucks. Kiara's a social butterfly that is ready to spread her wings.

While she's very close to her mother and will definitely be looking for her approval the next time she brings home a man, Kiara says she is ready to venture on her own and start her own family. She's been in two serious relationships. You know you have in your 23. But both ended because of trust issues.

She hates sports, but enjoys shopping, fashion, style, and anything involving social media. Okay, Jasmine, give me the carrots back. This is, uh, that's Kiara. Yeah, let's move on from Kiara. I'm bored. Boo. This bores me. Boo.

This bores me. All right. Katrina, 28, is a pro sports dancer whose mother says she needs to settle down soon because her biological... Wait, a cheerleader? Yes. Oh. I guess the pro sports dancer is a technical term.

Oh. Okay. Okay. Her mother says her biological clock is ticking, which is rude as fuck. Yes. She is obsessed with her hairless cat, Jasmine. What? Last Halloween, she dressed as Jasmine, and Jasmine dressed as Katrina.

Aw. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. Do cute stuff with your cat. Okay. Kelly, 27, is an attorney who describes her last relationship as an international long-distance affair for which she traveled to Jordan at least once a month. Red fucking flag right now.

Let's go. Let's deep dive, baby. Red flag. I always find, can I just say, lawyers are always interesting because they have this job that's like crazy details, sometimes monotonous, and then they do crazy shit like an international affair. You know what I mean? Lawyers do weird, like, they really do live up to the law and order sort of like, this

is crazy. James Bond, but boring. Yeah. But there is some, there's an element of danger with it. I like it. Anyway, continue. Her most recent relationship was an international long distance affair where she was traveling to Jordan once or twice

in a month, but finally got to the point where she couldn't see herself moving to the Middle East. That's like a 12-hour flight. Once or twice a month? Jesus. Oh my god. She's from Chicago. Two days out of every 30

were just spent in the air. On the plane. Not working. Wearing compression socks. Yeah. All she does is just Lululemon. Wow. Now that Kelly is single, because apparently she didn't like flying back and forth in the Middle East,

she's focused on her career as an attorney. Kelly comes from generations of lawyers and currently works in her dad's law firm. It's going to take a lot more than a handsome face and solid resume, though, to impress Kelly because this lawyer won't settle for anything less than she deserves.

No objections here. Ah! Did you guys like that one? Hat tip to the writer. Kelly is allergic to gluten. Dairy and black tea Okay I'm out Black tea

We found it We found it No no That's what did it Yeah no I No I'm just kidding Not that all The first thing I thought of

With the Jordan thing Jordan Was Jordan Jordan The second thing Was 90 Day Fiance And just Every single person

On that show I'm like What made you think This was a good idea Yeah You have bad judgment So I assume She has bad judgment

Imagine going to Calgary on a plane. Oh. That'd be crazy. Stupid idiot. What an idiot. Flying hours and hours and hours and staying in the same country. Kelsey 28 is a professional clothier dictionary.

It says, a person or company that makes, sells, or deals in clothes or cloth. What an idiot. So she could work at the Gap. Right? I mean, I don't know what that means. I'm not demeaning that, but I'm just saying, is that a very fancy way to say it? International clothiers. She didn't say she was an international clothier.

That you're taking from the previous one. She just said she was a professional clothier. No, international clothier. Like the store. She sells Xcode sweaters. And black jeans that smell funny. That's what she says. And fake Canada goose jackets.

Oh, yeah. Canadian geese. Yeah, Canadian geese jackets. Come on. Can't pull it fast enough. I grew up in Scarborough. I bought bootleg clothes, too. There's like five at Dixie

Mall Oh forget that Pacific Mall That's where you find it Like Ashley S before her She says she is like an onion Because she has many layers That was a cheesy line there kylie 26 is an entertainment sales associate who turned away the last time a guy tried to

kiss her and told him that she didn't want to ruin her makeup she's looking for a rom-com kind of love but if you're looking for the rom-com kind of love well you know what it sounds like it sounds like the guy was probably pretty gross yeah if someone's hot you're totally like yeah like you're willing to mess up anything at that point you have a good hair good outfit well you don't care but he clearly was just the wrong guy didn't want to be kissed by him good for her yeah if you want a rom-com love you got to drive from jfk to newark in 20 minutes like ross did sorry i happened to watch that episode with my friends yesterday uh a little more on kylie uh flaky pessimistic people make kylie mad well that's kind of everybody kylie's dream vacation would

Begoda on a safari in Africa. Okay. Kylie grew up playing softball and was a batting cage queen. Oh, so you like her. There you go. Softball's cool. Softball's cool. Kylie, nothing kind of strikes me.

Again, yeah, like, it's a shame because they start with, like, some really interesting ones. Yeah. Because I think they got a front load of it a little bit. Yeah. No, there's some bangers in here. All right, let's keep going then. Let's find them.

Lauren, 26. Marking. I don't want to leave anybody out, though. Lauren, 26, is a marketing executive who wants a man who will hold her hand on the way to church on Sunday. She was a Laker girl for one season but left because she was so inspired by Kobe's passion for things outside of basketball.

I'm not going to say it. So, Kobe does speak a lot of languages. Italian. Let's move on, maybe. Lexi26 Marketing coordinator who believes Dating as a redhead is hard She is turned off by desperate people

And thinks she has too much sass To live in the suburbs Oh boy, red flag Too much sass to live in the suburbs? The suburbs can't handle this sass Oh no, you can't hold me You can't hold me back, suburbs? I got sass

Move along What do I look like? I'm too big for this Costco. Wait, there's a parking lot at this place? No, I need the city, because I got sad. So Lexi, smart, independent, and fun woman who is ready to find the future father of her children. She grew up in Jacksonville, Florida, and is one of six siblings. Wow.

Girl from Florida, she's nuts. She went to FSU. Sorry, all Florida listeners. Yeah, Central Florida. And she went to FSU. She is out of mind. Oh, yeah. Anyway, continue.

She left college with a very serious boyfriend. Very serious boyfriend. And then what happened? She moved to New York City, and he ended things so they could both pursue their own careers and passions. Oh, my God. They sound like a Hallmark movie. She's going to move back to the cookie farm. Lexi stayed in New York and has since been doing well as a marketing coordinator at a real estate company.

She's been on a number of bad and mediocre dates around New York And can't seem to find the right guy Oh, it's you Lexi believes that dating as a redhead is hard But she's hopeful that Peter will like to spice things up The only way a ginger girl can Yeah, if there's anything guys hate, it's redheads Yeah, I don't think

Shut up, it's you You don't blame it on being redhead It's her Who doesn't like redheads? Right Why would you care? That is the I've never, I've dated all sorts

You ever been talking to a guy and you went, ah, she's redhead though No, nobody says that Lexi thinks it's a problem And she would rather be buried alive Than be trapped in a room filled with frogs Is that a thing that is coming up? No, I feel bad for her on that one Because the producers probably sit down and go

Okay, so here's a Would you rather What are your fears? What are your fears? Frogs So would you rather be buried alive Or be in a room with a bunch of frogs? That's a trap question

Yeah, yeah That's a one-liner they got out of her Yeah Lexi loves her home in Florida but has too much sass for the suburb life. Nothing turns Lexi off more than people who are desperate. That's Lexi. Wait, you live in

central Florida? No, she lives in New York. Oh, I was about to say. Oh, so what she's actually saying is she just didn't like Florida. It's not the suburbs, Lexi. It's Florida. Madison, 23, is a foster parent recruiter who, if stranded on an

island, would rather bring the Bible with her. Oh. Would want to bring the Bible with her. Such a good start. She says her husband must share her religious values and want children. So Madison's just all about religion. And that's fair. If that's your thing, that's your thing. Wouldn't be my thing?

Some people's heroin. Yours is a Bible. Okay. The Bible's fine. Bit of a false equivalency there, but you know. I'm saying one's better than the other. Other people like to go to bike week. Yeah.

Some people like Gwad. Yeah. That's fine. Gwad? Gwad. All right. Marissa, who has a fun name. Not Marissa?

Marissa. No, you don't get Marissa. I got two. I'm not bringing the Bible. Hold on. Did you bring Issa? What? Did you bring Issa?

No, I brought Marissa. Ooh. Marissa, 23. There's a lot of 23-year-olds. Is a patient care coordinator who says one of the worst times in her life was being Miss Teen Montana. I can imagine. I can imagine.

Yeah. Terrible. she recently lost 80 pounds and all of her best friends are at least 10 years older than her okay yeah

okay I think a few things what do you think I mean I think if you're on a if you're on the pageant circuit in the southern United States she said she was in Montana's north she grew up too fast yeah I think she grew up too fast she might be an old soul

yes There you go. Sounds like an old soul. Sounds like she can't relate to people her age. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with that. She relates to people who are a little more mature. She's at that stage.

Went to school with Miss Teen. She said she's serious about marriage and has dated around but hasn't found anyone as serious as she is. She's looking for a man who is fun-spirited but also ready for a commitment. Old soul? She's 23 and already looking for a commitment. I always wonder about when people say they're serious about marriage. Capri said that to me once and I said, what do you mean by that? And she said, what do you mean?

What do I mean? And I said well And then it was a fight And then they said I'm not eating in this Swiss chalet We did have a fight Over the baby name

In a Swiss chalet That's a good story But Oh my god Yeah and it was One of those like Restaurant fights Where you're like

I'm really mad at you You're gonna be quiet Yeah I'll tell you that At some other point Pass the chalet sauce And also do the worst So it's like

When someone says They're serious about marriage Serious about what About marriage Yeah Serious about making one work Serious about having The wedding day

What are you serious about And that's always my thing with people is like be very specific with that with their answer because what i and this is i'm just from a divorced home so for me it was like i'm gonna get married one time that will be it whether it works out or not that's it okay and that's always what i've said and so when i asked her about that it was she was like well you know i want to have a relationship with this and this and this and this and it was like oh you mean it's like for her it wasn't about the day it was about the rest of our lives and how that looked and that was gotta be with someone who's

more excited about being married than getting married. Boom! Exactly. So if you're serious about marriage, does that mean you're serious about being committed? Are you serious about showing it off on Instagram? Can the suburbs handle her? I don't think so. I don't think Walmart's ever seen anything like this

before. Damn. This summer. Coming to a Walmart parking lot near you. Jacksonville. Tammy is a house flipper who joined the boys wrestling team in high school after pushing forward on title 1X complaint.

The title, chapter, what is that? I don't know. That the girls can play any sports, I think. Is that what it is? Rule, yeah. Wait, what is that? Title 1X? I don't know.

I have no idea. I don't know. Sorry. She's a one-time champion. It sounds American. She doesn't relate well to blonde Barbie types. Her license plate says jet setter. Tammy.

Okay, she's going to be one of the more entertaining ones to watch. Oh, hell yeah. I don't know about the best candidate, but she is producer-picked to fuck shit up. She's a character. Yep. And have you ever met somebody in your life with a custom license plate who wasn't an enormous douchebag? Like one person in your life with a custom license plate that wasn't like... And it doesn't mean you don't love them.

You have friends that are douchebags that you love. They're lovable douchebags. Absolutely. But they're a total douchebag, right? You have to be a douchebag to do that, right? You gotta be at least part douchebag. Yeah. You got to at least have some douchebag ancestry.

I wonder if Jet Setter is like S-E-T-R or something like that. Like, it's like, you know, like... It's because they can't fit it. The E is a three. Yeah, yeah. I bet it is. Because she can't be the first person to have thought Jet Setter. Oh, no.

Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. No, I like her because she's there to... Oh, she's going to be the entertainment for sure. Her name might as well be Wrench. We're going to do three more. Okay. What I love about this show, too, by the way, if you ever do watch it, is there's people

that make it to the third or fourth round and they've never been on camera. Oh, yeah. And you're like, who is that? It's Jenny B. And you're like, who the hell is Jenny B? I don't know anything about her. I think I'm getting feelings about Paula.

Who the fuck is... I've never seen Paula. And then they throw Paula in there and it's crash course on Paula. Yeah, all of a sudden, yeah. Paula's the main star. And you're like, where did she come from? Where was she for the first eight weeks of this?

She made several facial expressions over the past two months. Yeah, super cut of Paula. It's like... Whoa. Here's a compilation of her saying, come on, guys. Just when the fight's getting good. That's crazy.

You know what? I don't like her. Anyway, continue. Peyton, 23, lives in her parents' basement. Relatable. I like her. She recently discovered that she has a fifth sibling via Facebook. That's interesting.

That's cool. Mystery family. She has a cute bulldog named Louise. This is going well. What's her name again? Peyton. Peyton. Not afraid to talk to strangers.

In fact, she enjoys it. I want to know more about Peyton. After Peyton had a serious boyfriend in college and says they were in love. They dated for three years, but by junior year, he started getting jealous of her social life and tried to control her. She lost herself in trying to please him And ended that relationship So she could spend the rest of her time in college having fun Good for her

Peyton describes herself as outgoing and very fun Back to back sentences with fun She is not very athletic but loves to be outdoors Her favorite way to socialize is over a good glass of wine And she is coming into this with two glasses Hopefully Peter is thirsty I'm going to throw it out there Peyton's top three

By the end of this season I think she's top three Also Cute accent She's from Massachusetts Macintoshits You know what Is that the JFK accent

Where's he from It's Boston Wellesley Massachusetts Whoever the color commentator is for Jack Edwards I forget his name Were you watching last night The Islanders Boston game Jack Edwards had one for the ages

So they were talking about Matt Martin and just glowing about and they were like What the Leafs gave up with Matt Martin? Yeah, like and they were talking about what like they're just so soft soft No, but the Leafs gave up so much when they gave him up that's what Jack Edwards had to say It was just on his he was on his Jack Edwards trade. It was great. Have you seen his setup like? What's in from no there's a lot of play-by-play guys who literally have like a couple pieces of paper with a couple Key pieces of information Jack Edwards has

Like a three iPad setup That looks like Voyager Wow Yeah You would never think so But they did like

A quick thing on Nessun We saw this because Of ice surfing of course Of course I saw it too I bet you did Watched it on replay Piece of crap

I like Peyton No Here's what Peyton is though What Give it to me When you heard that profile You're like I think I like her

Yeah But I also don't know A ton about her Just a little bit A little bit of mystery Yeah And that's what you need. She spent a lot of time on her previous relationship, which is to get to the point that, hey, I'm

fun. Some bomb is going to get dropped about Peyton in week five or six. Oh. Good point. She is mystery bomb waiting to be dropped person. See, on a show like that, you want to give 80, but hold back the 20%. You know what I mean? Because then it's like, it keeps people coming back from work.

I also have a boyfriend back home. Yeah. You don't know how The Bachelor is going to think, so you got to have at least four time bombs. But he's hoping to marry you too. Whoa. We're going to throuple. Throuple or not.

Two more. Victoria F. 25 is a medical sales rep who purchased revenge boobs after her last breakup. She likes men who aren't afraid to cry in public. We'd get along. Revenge boobs? I don't know. How often do you cry in public? Not often, but I'm not afraid to.

No. I live a fearless existence, Jesse. If you come downtown on the right day, you will often find Adam and I crying in each other's arms. Yeah, it's true. Right on, what's the street? This is Duncan. Duncan, we always cry right on Duncan. Victoria is a big fan of country music and will travel to see her favorite artist play a show.

The most important woman in Victoria's life is her dear grandmother. She works part-time at a yoga studio, but her true passion is her career in medical sales, where she works super hard. Yeah, that's a tough gig. So she can't do it full time, though, because she also has a work at yoga studio. That's interesting. Damn. Victoria is looking for a guy that can make her laugh and melt her heart. She wants a man who can love her through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

She wants a man who can not only give her unconditional love, but can also give that love to her dog, Buxton, because they are a package deal. Victoria says that it's hard for her to know someone likes her unless they are expressing it to her verbally. So good thing Peter has a way with words. That's important. Your love language is very important. Your love language is very important. That was very wholesome after starting with revenge boobs. Yeah.

The revenge boobs part was a bit aggressive, but we got there. Yeah. I mean, that was to get everybody hooked in, right? Right, right. Yeah. Revenge boobs. What? Oh, no.

And I have a dog. Final bachelorette. All right. Victoria grew up in a small town, but there's nothing simple about her upbringing. Oh, she lost her father at a young age, and both her mother and sister struggled with drug addiction. Victoria grew up fast, and as of three years ago, her mother and sister are now both sober

and have a stronger family bond than ever before. Victoria is on The Bachelor because she has never given herself a fair shot at finding love. She has been in one serious relationship that lasts for two years, but his infidelity led him to them breaking up after she stumbled upon a video of her... This is... What is this bio? His infidelity led to them breaking up after she stumbled upon a video of her ex's phone,

which proved that he had been cheating on her. Victoria is a natural caregiver, but is ready to find someone who can care for her as much as she will for him. This former Miss Louisiana pageant girl has been forced to grow up fast and learn the importance of finding a supportive life partner. She wants someone who will be a wonderful father to their kids and will be a rock she never had. If Victoria could travel anywhere in the world, she would go to Italy. Victoria's biggest fears are murky waters she can't see her feet in and chicken served on the bone. What?

Victoria's biggest fears are murky waters she can't see her feet in. Oh, no, I heard you. And chicken served on the bone. Why is that? Is that a fear? Yeah, like you walk in muddy water and you get leeches. No, the chicken. The chicken part.

Oh, the chicken part. She's afraid of chicken? She has a fear of chicken served on the bone. right she can't eat chicken that's like a drum she can't eat a drumstick or chicken she can't eat chicken wings oh i don't know about that there's another one that they're going to percolate for about a month and a half where every time a plate is out she's going to be like giving it this weird look and the camera is going to focus more and more on it and then when she's just going to flip the whole thing it's like chicken remember that extreme close-up

remember the extreme close-up of the chipmunk that was viral like 10 years ago yeah it'll be That'll be like her every time there's chicken served on the phone. Wings? Anyone? Like it's sponsored by Buffalo Wild Wings? Yeah. The Bachelor brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings. Because they always have a sponsor in there.

Oh, they got to. If Victoria could travel anywhere in this world, she would go to Iliari, rather. Nothing upsets Victoria more than finding raisins in her cookies. Oh, you're wrong. What? Well, I'm with her if you were expecting chocolate chips. That's a BS move. Okay, who ever...

You get yourself psyched up for a chocolate chip cookie. yeah who said hey here's a chocolate chip sometimes they get screwed up and messed up and you're not paying attention because all you're thinking about is getting the cookie you're not examining the cookie with a fine with a monocle or whatever it is you use i can understand that i'm with her on that if you can't i get a life down for a cookie you're living too fast all right there's our contestants i feel bad for her why she should not be on the show yeah she's just she needs to find like i don't think the bachelor is typically the healthiest place

to find love and she just sounds like she's had men who treated her like shit her whole life. Yeah. And I had a very hard upbringing after her.

The worst part Peter better be great. The worst part is You better treat her right Peter. Whenever someone leaves The Bachelor or The Bachelorette the guys or the girls

it doesn't matter they're in the car they're crying and they're going I can't believe this happened to me again. And you're like you had a 1 in 35 shot

at this. Yeah. The fact that you made it past round 1 is the That's amazing. You're trying to fall in love with somebody you met last week. Yeah.

I'm trying to fall in love on national TV. Man, go on Bumble. Yeah, and you're like, these guys are like, I can't believe that another girl did this to me. And you're like, dude, can you, like, just understand that you had a lot of competition on this one. And you lost. And not everybody wins the cup every year, man. It's just the way it goes. There were a lot of hot people in this room.

What is for you will not go by you. Holy shit. So says I. You're an old soul. Ah, no. I don't think so. But, what it is time for... You want to pass this down to Adam Wilde?

We need to hurry this up. It's our quick Christmas gift game here. Christmas. This is Steve. Crimin. Oh, he passed it down to Adam Wilde as well. Merry Chrysler, everybody. Merry Chrysler.

It is Crimin. Who's this one for? Ah, there's a card on the side. Don't read the cards on the air, because they're very inappropriate. Please don't read them. I love you. No, they're not. I love Crimin.

It should be a card. Love Adam Wilde. Here, let me see. I don't know. Oh, there's a card in this one. Jesse in this one. Alright, then that's Steve. Don't read the cards. Just don't put them up. I can barely stand up.

Steve, your presents are here. Oh yeah, those are mine. Yeah, there's a couple coffee cards in there you guys don't need. So, Steve has his own... Hold that up. ...wrapping paper. It's Rogers-sponsored. Yeah, I got that done. Adam hasn't seen that yet. I got that done at the Rogers at Young and Dundas at the signing I did the other day.

I got my own wrapping paper. It's unbelievable. With my purple Kyle Lowry jersey. And then who's this one for? Like that? Uh, oh, that is for Everly. Oh, for the Evy boo? Yes, that is for Everly.

There you go. You don't need to open that here. And those are obviously for you. Coffee cards because that's what's up the street from us. Okay. Oh, there you go. What a catch. Nice.

Uh, Steve, open up my gift for you. Oh, yes. Wait, is that this? Yes. Okay. This coffee card's a DIY Christmas gift. It feels like a yellow sweater. Oh, no way!

Oh, yeah, okay, here, here, here. Hold that up for the camera. Hold on, I guess I should open mine too, huh? No way! You did it! Oh, no. You got no Tweet First shirts! Yeah!

Tweet First! Mrs. Tinkle made that on the cricket. Oh, shit, camera died. We're out of battery. Oh, really? All of them? Yeah, all of them are dead. see our no tweet first Jesse's going to get batteries we'll pause we're pausing we're back the camera died so I had to change it if you missed it on the camera uh Steve has his own wrapping paper that he got done through Rogers and check out this and we got t-shirts it says

no tweet first I love it and it's Adam's face that is from uh don't call me Katie on Twitter Okay, Catherine. Her name's Caitlin, damn it. Sorry. This is awesome. Yeah, so we, I don't know, I'll talk to her. Maybe we'll sell them. Yeah, because we can't make the t-shirts unless she tells us we can use her design.

Yeah, it's her design. Yeah, we'll split the proffies. Yeah, the proffies, the professors. Mrs. Dangle made this on her Cricut machine. So this is a thing that she has that she just does crafts on. It's magic. It makes everything. She's done, like, woodwork with it.

Interesting. Yeah, it's ridiculous. I'm going to open this green present. I'm assuming it's from Jesse. That's from me. Jesse got me a Pokemon shirt. Pallet Town. The journey starts here.

Oh, I love this, Jesse. I'm going to fight you, Jesse. The farmer's all the next. So this is probably the most difficult gift I've ever had to track down. But I got an official. Why? Because no one's buying that anymore? I got an official.

I can't imagine why. They literally sell them at Shoppers Drug Mart. Have you not seen them? I went to the Farmer's Almanac I went all the way up to Antarctica where their headquarters was Santa and I got one and you met Mr. Almanac

I met Mr. Almanac he's been alive since 1854 and I got out an official Farmer's Almanac 2020 guide great, we'll read from it ah, this is awesome look at this damn mug what is that?

oh, it's a mug? that's the biggest mug I've ever seen open your eyes they're similar This is incredible! Look! Oh, this, okay. Adam got a pet treat launcher.

I guess you put treats in it and you fire, you shoot your dog with treats? No, you shoot them over your dog so they run after them. No, you shoot it at them. You shoot it right at their face. Right directly at the dog's face. That's fun. What enormous mug did you get me?

Oh my god! Oh, it's a glo- mug so cool right hey if you want to spill your coffee Jesse's your hands are definitely too big for it yeah I can't I can't like get in minor I do with two fingers yeah but but anyway I just thought they were mugs that you just put pens in I thought that might be one of those mugs all right there you go I love that I got you a couple other things there also this all thanks I don't even Oh, I think I destroyed the box.

Oh! Jesse knows me. Kit Kat bars. My favorite. They are my weakness. Oh, and a Maple Leafs Christmas ornament. Yeah, I got you a little ornament too, Jesse. There's a Christmas ornament.

Oh, thanks, bud. Oh. I'm going to put this back. So the interesting thing about the thing is they didn't have the rights to the Toronto Maple Leafs, so they make it themselves, but they call it the Blue Shirt Home Team ornament. Yeah, it's a blue jersey. They went the Jeffler route, didn't they? Yeah, yeah.

The Jeffler route. I'm just going to do this and hope no one sues! This is Phil Castle's face! Straight up! Jesse got me the sea salt lindors. Delicious. He's a good friend. He knows I like chocolate. He knows.

Alright, there's one more thing here. Can we just have a close up of this wrap job here? Hey. Hey. Can you just put the camera over? No, I can't. That camera's dead. Jesse, that is real good. Wow, that's real good. Alright, what did he get? Jesse, I'm going to be so fat! Those are good shits G cubes milk chocolate Godiva the Godiva. Do you wanna try a G cube? Yo open that

Give me a G cube there G. Do you wanna keep this? It has your face on it. Yeah sure. G cube G cube. Maybe I'll uh, I'll wrap Mrs. Daniels presents in it. Do you want caramel? Yeah. Do you want milk chocolat? Or do you want milk chocolat? Hit me with uh This whatever I'm holding right now. Throw me one. Milk, chocolate.

Now I'm going to eat this into a mic so all the people with misophonia lose their mind. Oh my God. Wow. Jesse, that is to die for, sir. That's a good chocolate. It's going to be a merry Grimmon, everybody.

Oh, I got one from Steve. Well, that's for everyone. I'm going to wait on that one. All right, well, listen. Happy flippin' New Year and Christmas And whatever else you celebrate Thank you so much for listening throughout the entire year It was a year for the books, I have to say

Most listened to, most watched, most everything year A year for my books specifically Available anywhere that books are sold Did you write a book this year? Oh my god The Steve Dangle Podcast Follow the guys on Twitter At Steve underscore Dangle

At Adam W-Y-L-D-E And at Jesse Blake Brought to you by Panago Pizza Order at Panago.com and stuff your face with deliciousness Connection complete