The Steve Dangle Podcast - The Steve Dangle Podcast - Aug 23, 2016 - The Rest of the Best

Episode Date: August 23, 2016

On today's Best of Steve Dangle Podcast, Edmonton, Ultimate Warrior, Lib Vig, the birth of Dangle Navy, scarfs, babies, and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Jake in Smallwood, and you're listening to the Steve Dango Podcast. Alright guys, we gotta mic check. Steve, Jess, let's go. Butthole, dog butthole, look at all those dog buttholes. I never want to hear that ever again. Butthole, dog butthole. Lots of dog buttholes. Wow. Pink puckering dog butthole.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Panago Pizza presents so specter tries to answer the obvious question which is hey why didn't tambolini listen to every guy in the room who said don't take yakupov and he says somehow the group of low mctavage tambolini and cats decided that the sexiest pick was yakupov and they're going to go for the only possible home run in the draft which is 18 year old can you please list those freaking

people you just named again I know where you're going the brain trust of GM Tambolini President Lowe and then McTavage and Katz Daryl Cates is the owner word

holy smokes you mad men stop it it's never good to have an owner involved oh well it's the first overall pick you gotta get the owner involved what is the first overall pick special you're the Oilers you've had like 9 of them in the last 8 years

holy smokes these people every show every show I will yell and scream at the listeners don't you dare tell me you can't do something do you want to be an NHL executive one day

Go out and do it Because there are literally mad men Who are millionaires Making ridiculous Stupid decisions every day Every day And they get paid boatloads of money for it And when they get fired for being bad

They get hired again They get hired as broadcasters I don't get it I don't get it They deserve it You know what Like, all these teams just deserve whatever they get. Hey, someone sent me a text yesterday.

What'd they say? And this would be a perfect time to read it. Let's do it. Because Oilers fans, if you're sick of this, guess what? I'm going to jump onto your friends again. My favorite punching bag over the last couple months, the Vancouver Canucks. We got another gem from the province. Someone texted this excerpt to me because I didn't see the province article.

If someone could... By the way, the province thinks they have some good stuff. Oh my god, yeah. If someone knows what I'm talking about, can you send me the link so I can tweet it and give proper credit, please? The headline is, most embarrassing signing. This is good already. Yeah. Not a lot has gone right for the Canucks recently.

You can add Nikita Tramkin's contract to that list. This is the most recent signing who they couldn't sign? Most recent signing, very, very big player, and supposedly he's been playing well so far. So I don't think they're criticizing his play. Tramkin, Tramkin, that's what I'm going to call him. So I can actually get through the article. Yep. Okay, not a lot has gone right for the Canucks recently,

and you can add Nikita Tramkin's contract to that list. The Canucks tried to sign him earlier than they did, but to a three-year deal. We talked about this. Right. Couldn't fit him. It was a contract that was rejected by the NHL because it was not in accordance with CBA rules, which is something we also talked about before.

The NHL subsequently sent out an email blast to the league that wasn't exactly flattering for Canucks management. The email was sent to Benning, but all the league's GMs and assistant GMs were cc'd. In it, the NHL pointed out that Tramkin's date of birth is August 30th, 1994, and by CBA rules, it means he's 22 years old. Players who are 22 or 23 years old

are to be signed to two-year entry-level deals, not three. We mentioned that in the last show, didn't we? Didn't we talk about that? I don't think we brought it up on air. We talked about it off. Okay. Everyone listening right now, if you want to be an assistant GM,

you want to work for an NHL team, you want to be a GM, you want... You can. Give it a shot. Give it a shot. But what do I know? You can!

But what do I know? Dude. What do these guys know? They're literally sending rules to each other through, like, MSN Messenger. How much does Jim Benning make? Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! And by the way... But why do the Canadian team suck, guys? Because they're run by crazy people! By the way, you've got to check out the video of this on the Steve Dangle Podcast YouTube channel, which is a channel, because Steve is pulling his hair.

Pulling, physically pulling his hair. You're not so crazy, people. It is. It's crazy. It's crazy. Mike Harrington said, Sabres tanked We all know it

And called it out Leafs gonna go Full artillery And I sense Media attaboys Coming to Lulam Absurd What?

First off First of all Does this guy That's a writer That's him Okay What was he doing With Tim Murray then?

Was he not saying The same thing? Were the Leafs not Going into this year Saying the same damn thing? Like what? Are you out of your mind? And I said, did you hear yourself at the Babcock Presser?

So what did he say back? Yeah, it's called asking tough questions. It's what I'm paid to do. Guess you don't hear too many up there. Now. No. Damn, Harrington. Back at it again with the sick shirts.

Damn, Harrington. Damn. Sassy, man. Sassy. well damn daniel uh look uh part part of it well look he does have a point the leafs are kind of doing what the sabers did last year but did they not admit that did shanahan not come out and explicitly say and babcock explicitly say there's some painful years ahead did the sabers not yeah what's wrong but i don't understand what the difference is i think what why is he

trying to point us out what annoyed me the most is yeah he got indignant about it and tried to make it a toronto buffalo thing anytime anyone tries to act like their city and their writers are better than another city you're just you're a fan you're a fan that's all you are yeah you're a fan with credentials congrats when you're a basement blogger when you're a jet you're a jet all the way like really what it was me and my writing crew are tougher tougher and meaner than you and your writing crew okay look okay i don't want to go on i don't want to take this route I don't, but I'm going to. This is Toronto.

When you're talking about hockey, this is the show, kid. It is. That's it. That's the name of this show, by the way. This is the show, kid. There's one more thing I wanted to mention, and one more thing I wanted to bring up and start on this show. And that is, we've talked about this before.

There's the Liberty Village Residence Association here in Toronto. And then there is the Oshawa Harmony Dog Park. Dog Park. So Steve lives in Oshawa. The Harmony Dog Park is where all the dog park owners go and hang out and kibitz, and they have this group. And Jesse lives in Liberty Village, which is the— I do not. Liberty Village in Toronto is like Millennialville.

Imagine every article you've ever read that is stereotypical about millennials. A study about millennials— Thick-framed glasses and giant scarves and burlap socks. And French bulldogs and— Tiny, tiny dogs. Yeah, basically, it's where people with their first relationship, in their first condo, with their first dog live. How dare you? Jesse lives there.

It's where young people go to waste their money. Yes, yes, because it's very expensive to live there. First of all, we prefer the term libvidge. Right, it's libvidge. Get it right. First of all, no. and if I ever hear you refer to it as that unironically

I may have to stop being your friend and those of us who live there are libvigians so get it right no you're not we are libvigians I already hate it so much I need to know if people actually call themselves that I don't know

oh my god thank god I was wondering if Jesse made that up on the spot or not would you believe it though 100% So, you know, Steve and Jesse and I have traded back and forth from time to time. Funny comments we see on this page. And by the way, even though I don't live there, I definitely am a member. And I'm definitely a member of the Oshawa Harmony Dog Park because it's so funny to read the comments.

And the reason that I joined Liberty Village was because somebody... Someone's dog scared my kid. Well, then they shouldn't have been in the off-leash park. Maybe you should teach your kid how to behave with a dog. That is exactly how the comments go down. It's just adults fighting. Blake was sharing a story Because she used to live

In Libvidge She used to be a Libvidgean? A Libvidgean And she was talking about I think it was The bread Somebody had baked Too much bread

And wanted to know If anybody in the neighborhood Which is just a bunch Of freaking condos By the way And a metro It's a bunch of condos And metro

But they're trying To make it a neighborhood Which I appreciate There are lots Of nice establishments Somebody baked Too much bread Don't you hate

When that happens And they're like Hey come over to my unit And they gave out Their unit number and said, you can have some free bread today. Because in the middle of downtown Toronto, there's nothing that I want to do more than give away where I live

or accept food from a stranger. And thank goodness, because, I mean, you're in downtown Toronto. Where else would you get it? Right? Where else would you get it? I mean, food's pretty scarce here. There aren't a lot of people. Indeed.

So Jesse did a great thing, and he pulled together some of the best comments he could find on the LiveVidge page. And I think from time to time, We need to check in on what's going on In Millennialville Liberty Village, Toronto This cannot disappoint, Jesse

I've been looking for These are like the The sacred scrolls I've just been waiting to see What Libvidge has to say For so long Well, first of all, we should point out that Nobody in Libvidge has a printer

Because every five posts Is, hey, does anybody Know where I can print this And they'll post the document too And they'll post the document Hoping that somebody will print it for them Here's my taxes Can you print this and bring it up to

Here's where I live Here's my social security No word of a lie They'll post the document You can get a printer for like $30 Non-Livage If you can afford to live in Liberty Village You can afford a fucking printer

Condos are expensive there Hi Liberty Village passing on this message from a friend of mine who started a balcony cleaning business in Liberty Village. It's springtime and you're looking forward to some quality time next to a glass of wine on your balcony. Perfect, right? Want to improve

this experience? Let our new company super clean your balcony. How big is your balcony? This is a post. And this person has to enter your home because how else would he get to your balcony? Yep. But you know what?

Listen, wine tastes better on a clean balcony. Am I right? The wine part was a very overlooked part. But my favorite part, or my favorite post today is from Angela. This can't disappoint. Angela wants to know if anyone has a TTC pass she can borrow for today. Are you serious? No way!

Anyone have a pass they're not using this afternoon? Until around 1 until early evening. they could lend a neighbor message me I'm fully not gonna joke your TTC pass I'm fully not gonna

just steal your fucking $150 metro pass TTC by the way yeah Toronto Transit Commission for those of you

out of town who are like what the hell are you talking about can I just take your bus pass she can't pay the $325

it takes to get on the bus it's expensive it's expensive she just wants to know if she can borrow a pass she wants to save seven bucks man

this was posted yesterday at 10am. I hope she got it. Did anyone check in and find out? There were no comments. Does anyone have a credit card I can borrow? Yeah, right? Can I borrow your car? I want to do Uber, but you just kind of

take it yourself. Christina dropped her keys on Lakeshore today. 22 hours ago. She's saying, if anybody found it, let me know. Message me. Wait, did she give out her address? address? Okay, I was about to say

could a stranger please bring my keys back to this place? Hold on, can we just put this in context for people not from Toronto? Lakeshore is the first highway built in Toronto. Lakeshore is sick. Wait, where did she drop it? Lakeshore. Drop Mikey is running on Lakeshore.

Lakeshore Boulevard. Miss, what were you doing there? Well, I mean, no, no, no. Listen, it's fair that she's running there. There are sidewalks there. But Lakeshore Boulevard runs right near there's it's six lanes wide do you think that anybody has found your keys lakeshore also stretches from burlington to like scarborough she didn't even give an area she just dropped my keys on lakeshore today anyways minerva is really is really sorry that christina lost her

keys the one comment on this post is you know what damn it minerva christina was like holy shit there's a notification someone found my key oh no they didn't but at least they're sorry at least a stranger sorry i'm sure she was really relieved to see that a stranger sorry she had a very important thing to say what did minerva say may god help you find your keys today that's it that's at this point that's what it's gonna take minerva so you know what good on you smart-ass vlad said lol is that part of his duties now vlad you're an asshole but you know when i give vlad credit he's the only one with some freaking brains in that entire page man christina again was like second time's the charm i bet i bet vlad more like gala vlad

is going to come and save me and bring me my keys. No, Galavlad is a vlad's hole. Nicole's troubles aren't as serious as someone bringing my keys. What's troubling Nicole? Tell us about Nicole. Or someone needing a TTC pass

or somebody needing a printer. Okay, tell us about Nicole. Nicole says, does anyone have a P90X yoga DVD that I could borrow for a couple of weeks? I'm supposed to do yoga as part of an injury, but I'm not enough a fan of yoga to drag myself to a class

looking for that 90 minute killer DVD if anyone can lend it to me message away she never heard of bed tour she never heard of just go get your own damn penis or youtube go on youtube

there's a bunch it's yoga like it's can I borrow a DVD DVD, no one has used since 2004, for a couple weeks, and definitely giving back. Holy shit. Who is this? Nicole.

Shut up, Nicole. This was yesterday at 4. Minerva comments, I hope God can find you at your P90X DVD. What the fuck, Nicole? Come on. Vlad should have commented, go on YouTube. Honestly, that's... Vlad just policing the page.

I bet now here's here's the the thing that I don't know if you put enough emphasis on Adam you need to be

accepted into the into the liberty the lib the libvitch the libvitch Facebook community I wonder if Vlad

is spoken about in an ill manner I wonder if they if they don't like his cantankerous posts because I feel like they may they may

they may all of these posts by the way I scrolled back to the last 48 hours So Who knows if I went there

This is gold This is gold And we're gonna keep Coming back to this From time to time Just to check in On the Livvige The Livvigeans

I hope no one there Listens to the show I hope no You know what I know they do Because we were Walking down the street In Liberty Village

For the Marley's game And someone came up to us And said You guys are on The Steve Dangle You guys are the Steve Dangle podcast Oh man

That's right Okay If you are listening to this Be cool Don't blow our cover Please be cool I think we're playing around with doing this on the air At KISS as well

Having Jesse come on and read these Residence Association comments And I want to just know How long Blake and I have before we get booted from the page But the thing is They won't know Jesse's name on KISS Because we always just address him as Producer Jesse So even if we got kicked off He'd still be there

And we'd be alright In the last 12 hours I'm trying to count the amount of posts And I'm already up to 17 in the last 20 hours. It's a lot. I can live there. It just keeps going.

And we'll do the Oshawa Harmony Golf Park. Or Golf Park. Why Golf Park? Dog Park. Dog Park. I'm thinking golf because it's spring out.

Anyway, I just thought that was a beautiful thing. Thank you Minerva for blessing us with your comment. And of course her name is Minerva.

I'm sorry, but that's such a perfect name. The CEO of Barclays Center, Brett Yormack, sat down for an interview with Sports Illustrated.

And Sports Illustrated asked him the question that everybody wants to know. What's up with your funky Dr. Seuss looking arena? Right. And he said, our seating capacity is over 15,700. Within that capacity, there's a lot of great seats. Do we have some obstructed seats? Yes, we do. Are fans aware of those obstructed seats before they purchase them?

Yes, they are. There's really nothing that we're going to do from a capital improvement standpoint. As in, we're not going to change anything. You can watch the game on your mobile device. The game is also on the scoreboard. There are many ways to view the game if you're in one of those obstructed seats. We aren't able to change the seats in the building. That is what it is.

But there are certainly ways we can enhance the experience. Can you read the first two or three sentences again for me, please? Our seating capacity is over 15,700. Within that capacity, there's a lot of great seats. Do we have some obstructed seats? Yes, we do. Are fans aware of those obstructed seats before they purchase them? Yes, they are.

sir are you the ceo of a giant stadium in the state of new york or do you work at a freaking flea market are you a used car salesman sir hey hey you know what these freaking losers knew what they were getting when they bought the ticket all right and if you don't like the ticket you don't like the seat you can shove it all right you can watch the islanders or what here's a free scoff are you serious with that garbage he sounds like he should be operating a stadium in brooklyn yeah well steve definitely made it more convincing that's for sure but this is the this is or peabody massachusetts depending on how you interpret my accent this this is what kills me this is what kills me about this statement and it's a little bit further on you can watch the game on your

mobile device the game is on the scoreboard so you pay for the for a second rung it has air conditioning you pay for a seat belt a seat in this particular obstructed area sure you get it at a discount and they want you to bring your damn cell phone to the game so you can burn time because they're not offering free wi-fi as far as i'm concerned and you're not the roger center does often. Yes, it does. Absolutely, it does. But even so, if you're going to be on stadium Wi-Fi, you're not going to be able to stream a game. It's just straight up not going to be fast

enough. So they're asking you to stream a game on your phone after you've paid to be in the stadium. Or watch it on the scoreboard. Are they crazy? That is the whole point of going to

the game is to be able to watch the game. No, here, Adam. You pay to Watch the game! Jesse just showed me... Wait a sec. This is a virtual... Yeah, this is the virtual seating chart of the Barclays Center.

So at least they're honest in that they show you... Okay, you literally cannot... If you're... The side of the arena you're sitting on, you actually can't see under the hash marks. That's right. So if you... That's a solid... You can't see it.

What would you say? 15, 20% of the ice surface you can't see? Yes. and eight full sections with obstructed views eight full sections they're not crazy adam i think you're wrong in saying that okay crazy would be them actually thinking any of the things they just suggested were good ideas or logical ideas logical conclusions they're just gonna

rip you off they know people will pay for the tickets and if they don't who cares they weren't paying in the first place I can remember

some very empty Islander stadiums yeah Islanders game so what has changed yeah nothing they're getting their money

screw you have a scarf go Nets screw you here's a scarf go Nets that's all they're thinking oh it's so

like we talked about how I feel so bad for Blue Jackets fans Islanders fans holy hell you had your dynasty in the 80s and you could basically

wipe your butt with the team since yeah not that I'm saying the Leafs are any better with the exception of Pat LaFontaine and seriously

I have to say okay so here's the killer part if you buy tickets in any of those sections Steve stop watching

the Leafs game sorry Frankie Corrado sticking up for James Reimer and I love it that's great but the game

is already over by the time people are listening to this that doesn't matter it's not over in my world okay you're right You buy tickets in one of these eight sections that are obstructed views.

You are buying on, and you're looking at the defense side. So you're looking at the side that your team is defending in the first and third period. Hey, but what are you going to do? Hey, all the kids today, they tweet during the game. You're not looking after time anyway. What are you complaining about? Shut up. Here's the scarf.

Go Nets. Exactly. So here's the thing. Islanders are a good team right now, right? Very, very good team. Sure. Could surprise in the East If it's not Islanders Capitals

In the conference final And when they get to the playoffs You better be there to see some of it 70% maybe What are you going to miss out Not see some of it? Shut up here's the scarf go Nets Here's the thing We need to go down there

For their first game there and just have a shirt Shut up here's the scarf go Nets You know what's great is the basketball team is named after the thing that fans can't actually see when they go to a hockey game. So true. So true. And to that point, okay, so let's say the

Islanders are a really good team and they spend 70% of the game, I don't know what they're at, but 70% of the game in possession of the puck and at the other end of the ice. That means that on your end of the ice, you're going to spend 70% of the game not being able to see your team do really well, and

another 30% of the game not being able to see anything at all. Yeah, but if you're a fan the fact that they're doing well is good enough for you shut up piece of scarf go nuts

Steve can you name your fan base what someone suggested like individually the dangle berries

no no like I don't need to name them like Nicky Nosh has the barbies

yeah the barbies yeah the watchers have swifties yeah the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the Beliebers

You need dangleberries The Levatics Yeah, like lunatics, but Levatics Wow, that stopped me in my tracks, that's so shitty That's such a shoehorn The Levatics What was the Selena one? The Selenators

Selenators That's how it's spelled S-E-L-E-N What is that a play on? Steve Celery Selena Gomez Celery

Both delicious with cheese whiz Who knew? Beliebers Is clever because It's like Believers Believe But believe

Yeah What the fuck is Directioners is just ER That's a Mimico name Yeah Directioners Sounds like something

You put in your shoes It does Do you have knee pain? Do you have chronic knee pain? Ask your doctor about Levatix Katy Perry's are Katy Kats Alright that's not so bad Rihanna has the Rihanna Navy

Why? Because she was in that movie, that Battleship movie? Yes actually That's when it began In 2012 when she was in Battleship She started calling them Navy And they did so well, that movie did so well All of them went

What about Rihanna Armada? That's got a better ring to it. I'd go with that. Do you want the worst one? Well, why don't you call her? I'm sure she'd be totally willing to change it at this point. I mean, she's only been doing it for four years. Bad girl Riri, this is Steve Dangle.

Please respond. And then she won't. Do you know the name of Ariana Grande's fan base? Oh, oh, oh, oh. The Ventys. The Ventys would have been good. That would have been really good. What is it?

What is it? The Aaronators. I knew it. Aaronators. That's what you do to your lawn in the spring. You would That's Aaron Where are you finding this

Aaron Eders is what you would expect You would expect Aaron Carter's fans To come up with that Not Ariana Grande's fans Aaron Carter's fan To come up with that Ed Sheeran fans

Oh Uh Teddy something right Nope That's just his nickname Um I don't know I don't know

I should know this Sheer leaders Oh that would have been Much better than what this garbage is that would have been great what is it Cheerios okay well they're British

Cheerio okay no no I'll give that a pass I'll give that a pass alright alright oh cause Cheerio yeah Cheerio

Cheerio died Cheerio okay I was thinking the Cheerios Team Breezy that's Chris Brown Chris Brown yeah no that's when everyone had a team um

Miley Cyrus those smilers that works that works Smiley what about for John Scott Scottnators That's actually what it would be

Scottovics The Scottaculonics Scott No So can you guys name Steve's fanbase? Steve's fanbase No Like

No No I've never wanted to do that I think that's actually kind of douchey To do Oh man Rihanna's gonna be so pissed When she hears this podcast To call it the dangle navy It's okay for no reason

It's okay if that girl Be real So just be like The Dangle Navy The Dangle Navy Alright they're the Dangle Navy No

Dangle Navy blue Cause they're navy blue Characters Cause they're the Leafs That is Dangle Navy Yes We got

So hashtag Dangle Navy We're on Dangle Navy Yeah Dangle Navy What's up y'all Steve Why didn't I come In the studio today

Well I I'm just wondering if you ever regretted the decision at the bar we made two and a half years ago to start the podcast together. Yeah, that conversation would go, and then we'll call them the Dangle Navy. I have a feeling that the listeners of this show, the fans of Steve Dangle, I think they're going to like this. I think it's going to catch on. If you're a fan of Steve, I think Dangle Navy is the new... If you want to start changing your Twitter handles to include hashtag Dangle Navy. Like in your name

Or your avatars too And every time you tweet Steve So anytime that Steve looks at his ad replies All he sees is DangleNavy And if he ever sees a hilarious response from you And wants to retweet it It has to include DangleNavy So he looks like he's endorsing DangleNavy

And then Somebody can start the official DangleNavy Twitter account That would be great So everybody can go to there for the fan club With a battleship with Steve's face on it Yep Because battleship

The good ship battles Good battleship Steve Here are what my mentions are like Every day It's a healthy combination Of people who are assholes Just because Just in general

People who have good intentions But are wrong as shit And podcast listeners being dicks intentionally And every day The latter faction grows and grows That's my favorite part about this podcast is like a bunch of people

just like us jumping on Steve. Like it's It's okay. I mean they might not have space in their names to add Dangle Navy because they'll be too preoccupied being the wild ones.

You know what we need? We need t-shirts. How do I get nothing for the wild ones? Because you know, because that's too easy. Dangle Navy is so awkward That it works Like Wild Ones is like

Well yeah You would expect that To sort of be that You know You know You know what I mean Dangle Navy Dangle Navy

I want chevrons On a shirt And Steve's face above it Yep Like And then And then we could have Like Dangle Navy meetings

Where We'd have like a Sergeant Dangle Sergeant of the Dangle Brigade And we could do a Simpsons parody

Where even at Fiat Join the Dangle Navy God damn it Jesse See, you're my favorite human being in the whole world right now. I can't wait until this happens. Join the Dangle Navy, everyone. And this is one of those shows where I do wish, and we're working on this, I swear,

where we could have a video of this entire show. And one day we will get there. There's a high score in the Pittsburgh Ottawa game. I would love for you to see the anger on Steve's face. He hates us right now. Crosby's got a couple goals. A couple? Wow.

Steve. Steve? The Dangle Navy thing for that. Did you know that the Sens have a guy named Chris Weidman? Didn't you interview him? Chris Weidman? Oh, doesn't he play for the Flames? There's a Weidman joke.

Don't tweet me. See, it is actually Chris Weidman. Oh, wow. Yeah. Spelled different. I didn't even know that. Sorry, I had to do whatever I could to friggin' pull the brakes on that locomotive. How much do you hate this?

A lot! I gotta question my own team here for a second. Oh, dear. I gotta question a member of my own team Okay This team And I need to know If this person is a bad person

If they have questionable character Are you talking about in this room? Yeah I'm talking about questionable character And I'm going to quote I got my game 7 Marley's tickets I'm praying the series goes 7 games LOL

I got game 7 Marley's tickets I hope it goes seven games And then we win And I get to be there Sit in right in front of the glass And I'm not bringing you now Screw you I asked the question

I got two tickets For me and Adam To sit right next to the glass For game seven of Marley By the way He never mentioned it was for me He never said He just said he got them

So it's me Or attractive person That Jesse happens to be dating By the time game seven rolls around Maybe I was gonna surprise Adam On game seven You were not going to do that We planned to go to a game

We did But I couldn't make it Right Because I had to be in the west end of the city At the time of the game So I picked up some tickets for this round Okay In the hopes that maybe we could go

And now This is good spin He's good at spin And take shit from this man As part of the prize Alright So I'm treated around here I just thought I'd throw that out there

Is that a question You're running Pittsburgh by yourself, man. Questionable character move, Steve Dangle. Me thinks the shitman doth protest too much. Oh! All right, all right. Now, okay. We'll leave that to Twitter to decide for us fully.

I just hope the Marlies are well-rested for the thing. On the subject of... Stuff the games they have to play. Now, wait. Now, if Game 7 doesn't happen, do you get your money back, or do they just transfer that to the finals? I just don't charge my credit card. Okay, people kept asking me that on Twitter.

The team doesn't keep your money for a thing you don't get. That doesn't exist. How do people not just assume that? Yoink. It's called a yoink ticket sale. It's totally legal. Do you think every time a team sweeps, they're just like, fucking right, get to keep all the money.

Ha ha ha, dicks. Imagine. Thanks for your money, pricks. Oh, you paid for front row seats, 500 bucks a pop for the Leafs. LOL. kiss my ass I want a shirt that says

maybe you should just kiss my ass I think you should just kiss my ass I want a shirt that says ha ha ha dicks on it

that was great on the subject of questions everyone asked me that on twitter that is very funny hey man if there's no game 7

do I get my money back yes well I am one of those guys that just want to make sure I wondered if it transferred I wondered if it

was like a transfer you get to trade that in first dibs on championship tickets or something go to a restaurant and order food and if it doesn't arrive

You don't have to pay for it True Alright on the subject Of questionable character Questionable character I have another person That we need to talk about Who may or may not

Have questionable character Is that somebody else Sitting in this room Well I mean it's on my team This is my team Right So now I need to ask If Steve Dangle

Is in fact a bad person Okay Now this stems From a moment that happened Yesterday morning You two Went to interview The same YouTubers

for different shows. Jesse, for YouTube Hits. Steve, for yourself. And for Sportsnet.ca, of course. And Jesse, you told me a story involving a... You know where I'm going with this. I'm going to let you take it. So, yesterday... Oh, great. Oh, this is a tag team effort?

Fuck. We got to interview the guys from Dude Perfect, who are one of the largest YouTube channels ever. They're amazing. And they seem cool. Almost 10 million subscribers. Wow. And we're standing around, and then they were there for an event for these... What was the school? For, like, underprivileged youth they were

getting oh fucking no it wasn't so Dude Perfect was lined up they're doing autographs for all these little

kids and then the little kids get these Nerf toys that are Dude Perfect Nerf toys they're branded

Nerf Dude Perfect toys and we're there with a YouTube girl I forget her name Jen something oh you forget

her name because I seem to remember talking to her for half an hour anyways anyway go ahead tell your story

about Barb so we're standing there and tell your story about Ned all these kids are getting these Nerf toys

and Steve turns to our YouTube correspondent and says can I get one of those? And she proceeds to be like yeah we have some here

I can give you. So Steve walked home with some Nerf toys and I had to pick some up as well. So Jesse got one as well. So I got one as well. So my question is

and then I leave it not to those in the room because I remain neutral as I do on every subject. Oh for sure. You know I'm not an opinionated guy. Fuck.

So knowing that does that make what does that make Steve I mean cause you gotta think that at the end of the line there might not have been enough Nerf toys

for kids for all the kids right well as it turns out Steve is an amazing person

because if he had not asked for those little child toys which are for children I would not have gotten to throw a ball at Adam's face yesterday

yeah hit me right in the back of the neck hit him right in the face oh in the back of the head so thank you Steve for all of that joy

you brought Steve is an amazing person fucking the goddamn mental wizardry of Jesse Blake I was about to just rip into him but now I can't because he ended on a nice note yeah he's good and it was the note in which you felt physical pain yeah so I can't I can't laugh so now I'm just sitting here all frustrated. I got mental blue balls from Jesse. I give that mental blue balls. Thanks, Steve.

I love you. You're welcome, I think. Fuck. My brain hurts. That was fun. I've been waiting on that one for both of you just because it was fun.

Yeah. What's funny to me is how if Gideon Malkin going into the game you can hear every sports show talking about the fact

that he hadn't scored or he had been underscoring and underperforming and then you find out he's just literally had a baby yeah

and I don't know and his team is winning yeah I don't know what it's like to have a child or to have a pregnant wife or girlfriend

or one night stand for that matter I don't know any of those things absolutely in depth but I can imagine that the two weeks

leading up to the actual birth are intensely stressful it's uh i kind of got a reminder of that recently uh andrew campbell captain of the marley's so the the marley's had just won game seven over the albany devils and uh you know paul hendrick asked about it because paul hendrick knows everything about all the players and uh campbell's just like yeah well you know we just we're just kind of waiting and that's that's when i realized It's like, they give you a due date, but it's really a due guess. Yeah.

It's a guess. So you spend the rest of that time going, hmm, well, there's a human of mine about to arrive. That I'm responsible for for the next 20 years. It might be right before this game. It might be at first intermission. It might be during my next shift. It might be after the game.

It might be after next game. You don't know. No. You don't know. Imagine how much of your mind that takes up. And then once the baby is born Then you have a baby Yeah

You have a baby you gotta take care of I know I talk about dad strength and all that And it's cute but At the end of the day you're preparing for And then taking care of a baby Which right at the beginning Has no ability to take care of itself Like

Not with that attitude Human babies, of all the babies Human babies are like the worst Cause like calves Like, you know, horses. Crying Jordan face over a baby. Yeah, really. Horses and cows and all that.

They could walk right out of the womb. What the hell is going on with human babies? How is that possible? They need to. Like, up your game. Babies really need to learn from Jonathan Drouin's work ethic. I think so. Right?

Babies really need to learn. How did humanity survive with babies going, I made a rubber, basically. Just coming up for the first three freaking years. Like, what is that? I'm trying to think of other babies to compare it to. but I just don't know that much about other mammal babies. I know I saw a panda baby the other day, and it's about the size of a pencil.

Those things, pandas are enormous. A pencil? And it's literally this big. It's like the length of a pencil. Is that an Adam Wilde comparison? No, but the length of a pencil. A little tiny pencil? I don't think it's the size of a pencil.

It is. They're like literally this big, like a rat. Best at best. See, a rat and a pencil. Rats and pencils are pretty close. Two different units of measurement. Unless you're in New York where rats are enormous. Let's get this right.

Units of measurement. I'm sorry. So what other babies do we know that are better than humans? I'm just saying, there's babies that are better. A giraffe. Did you know that a giraffe gives birth standing up? I learned that when I worked for the Toronto Zoo. It makes sense.

How many animals have you seen give birth? Like, live? Yeah. None? Oh, you don't see that, like, regularly at the zoo? I'm not a zookeeper. You were there every day for 18 summers. Yeah, doing a job.

Like I can't just be like Sorry everyone Who wants a ticket To this ride Or sorry everyone Who was hoping For commentary here I need to go watch

The zebra give birth For four hours I would But I bet a zebra baby Can walk A zebra baby Probably can walk A zebra calf

I would think Thanks to the guidance Of a strong dad Chaka the five legged zebra Right I wonder if Chaka Is still there Anyway so I feel bad

For Evgeny Malkin Because he's got this Useless human being at home That's not helping him at all It's not helping out With an assist That's right At Camp 4, Chuck

Can't do anything Can't do anything By the way The baby Born Seven pounds One ounce For number 71

Kenny Malkin That's kind of A great lie For the media That's What do you think He made that up Sure

You think The baby was Let's say it was 7'5 Would you not say It was 7'1 They just round down Absolutely Just knock it down

No one will care Yeah, exactly It's like their weight On their hockey cards That's not actually true. They're hiding their weight on their hockey cards. So you think the lying for a hockey player weight starts at birth? Maybe.

You think Nikita Malkin has, from the moment of birth, just been a liar? It's probably his idea. I, well, I mean. He's a boy, right? No, no, no. Hold on. I'm pretty sure it is. Steve, Steve, we've already established that babies are useless, so it can't be his idea.

Right? It can't be his idea. They are essentially useless. Like, listen. We are very Toronto media right now. attacking Phil Kessel for eating hot dogs isn't good enough

let's attack a baby what is this baby doing well at least we're doing it in jest okay but the point is the reason Evgeny Malkin might not be where's the pension plan puppets article

about why hating on babies is wrong possession of baby per 60 I want oh Adam I want everybody to just stop and recognize

Evgeny Malkin through the most intense Probably the most intense hockey in his career Some of the most intense hockey in his career Yeah, other than the other two times he was in the final Has been playing with a baby on the way That's pretty crazy That would throw me off

That would throw me off A little bit, and then he responds with the game winning goal In game four there Not bad But you know what kills me about the whole Flint situation Is it's not just that the water's bad It's that nothing is being done About the water being bad

It's like, no, we're going to live with this And, oh, what? Oh, I don't, this might not have been Worldstar. I might have been Reddit. You know who I saw say that Flint is just the tip of the iceberg and this is going to start happening more and more in the States? Aaron Brockovich. Whoa.

Aaron Brockovich, who, by the way, is a real-life person. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm not really surprised. No, a lot of people don't actually know that. The problem is the infrastructure, and not to get too deep into that, infrastructure's failing.

How many bridges? what do they say 70% of bridges in the states are unsafe yeah 70% see

some people listening to this you can't just say that into a microphone man no I have okay Jesse google it google it right now sometimes Adam says things

I think it was it was Colbert that was saying it I can't even I can't even I'm not even gonna say exactly what was said to me but

a long time ago there was a guy who inspected rides like like roller coasters and I spoke to him and I asked him about it

and I wish I never did because I can't enjoy roller coasters anymore because I can barely go on them. I went on the London Eye in England which is like

the world's biggest but also slowest Ferris wheel. Okay. And I was clenching the bottom. I was clenching

the seat. I was scared to death because of what I heard. Okay, here's what it is. 61,000 American bridges are structurally deficient. And that is as of April 1st, 2015. Jesus, Murphy, dude, don't tell me that.

Don't tell me that. I don't need to hear this, man. You know how many people are listening to this right now on a bridge? In the States? You know that, right? Nearly 87% of these, sorry, yeah, 87% of these bridges are heavily crossed. and were built before 1970. I don't need to hear that.

Over 5,000 of them are in the state of Pennsylvania. 5,000 in Iowa. You know how many people are driving on a bridge in Pennsylvania right now? Hey, our friend from PA who's going to come up for Hockey Night in Cinema. You know, if we got rid of some people from Philadelphia, would it be such a bad thing? Wow! Jesus, Jesse, dude, you were like, what are you saying, man?

A couple of Eagles fans I thought I did a show with a guy named Jesse Evidently I do a show with Bilber I had no idea That's one of his signature bits We just need people to slowly start going away There's too many people And we need to get it down to a core of

300 or 400 people Imagine everyone could drive around a tank Everyone could go to the Super Bowl It'd be great In 2007 in Minneapolis A bridge collapsed and 13 people died Oh thanks man What did you google to find that

That's a really bad one actually I saw that That's really Yeah The whole It's like It's a whole highway Go Vikings

Oh Oh So anyway I got my news from Worldstar What were we even talking about By the way I just want to say this It's 10% of bridges in the states

That are structurally deficient Almost 10% Where the What the hell man I just wanted to say that I was off by like 50% But it was the 60%

Okay whatever But it was the number that I got. It's something like, it's between, depending upon what source you look at, because I've been looking it up, it's anywhere from 58,000 to 70,000 bridges. So for everyone who just pulled over, you can get back on the road now. Well, unless you live in Pennsylvania or Iowa. Oh, in that case, yeah, you're going to die. Yeah, 5,000.

You're right. Or if you're in Atlanta, don't drink the water. Or if you're in Atlanta, don't drink the water. OJ Simpson More than likely Killed his ex-wife And his ex-wife's New boyfriend

Years later He sort of Kind of wrote a book About how Sort of kind of admitting To sort of kind of Killing two people Well the asterisk

Right Jesse I mean it was It was called If I did it If I did it Right You know he's right He couldn't have done it

Couldn't have done it Couldn't have done it It was if So here is what Stephen A. Smith Had to say About the OJ Simpson trial Was this today

It was today This is posted an hour ago as we do this. Jesus, it's like he was saying this stuff at lunchtime? Yes. He's fired up early. I have a lot of emotions about the O.J. who still today is passing the days in prison. Do you have any sympathy for that man? Not a little bit.

I've often said, and there's a lot of people in the black community who disagree with me, but I've often said that if I was on that jury, we'd still be there because I wouldn't have voted him not guilty. I think he's guilty. I don't give a damn what anybody says. I think that O.J. Simpson killed Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. Stopping it there. Don't disagree.

Pretty fair comment, right? I think most of us would agree with that, right? Not me, Adam. I believe the court system has never failed anybody. And they probably came to a fair decision that was corrected, not wrong. and my heart goes out to ron goldman's father every time i see him because that man lost his son and of course it goes out to the family of nicole brown simpson as well in what scenario does stephen a smith hang out with ron goldman's father i think he's on tv a lot oh they do bring

him back a lot to talk about he's kind of the spokesperson for the family and he and they i mean obviously this this court case especially lately i mean abc is doing the reason they're talking about this is there's an oj made in america series debuting on abc and that's why they're talking about it because espn is owned by abc which is all owned by disney and it's all togetherness um so they're talking about this particular thing and that's why they're bringing it up and that's why you see when he says you see ron goldman on tv ron goldman's on tv a lot especially lately okay or has been please don't get me wrong but i'm just thinking along the lines of this man got off with double murder i believe that the evidence was clear and i've often been

on the record saying does anybody call me what they want to call me i have profound respect for the late johnny cochran god rest his soul but if it's it might be the cockiest thing that i've ever said hold on christopher darden sorry um after after he said that the uh lovely people who posted video wrote um that right there is a man thinking jesus am i really about to say this i'm going to aren't i i'm about to say steve nace smith a man with no legal training and then he can go ahead and say it but if it's it might be the cockiest thing that i've ever said christopher darden and marsha clark did an absolutely horrendous job as prosecutors because if it were me there's no way in hell johnny cochran would have beaten me with that

evidence that i that they had i'm telling you right now i'm not even a lawyer there is no way no way that you would have put 12 jurors in front of me with that evidence and i would have lost it even to johnny cochran i don't want that trial i've often said that because he's i think oj's guilty as hell and he should be under the jail and i think it's kind of bogus that they got him in jail for this long period of time over stealing his own over to stealing his own stuff i think that's bogus but he was stupid he should have left the country the second that he got off and just went on with his life but he stayed around now here's what i love about steven a smith on this particular argument i know steve that you've got something to say i just want to

quickly just add he he gives post post jail oj or or okay so oj simpson gets off and he's like he should have just left the country and lived his life like he's giving advice for oj which oj should have taken in 1995 and you know what like first of all i want him under the jail also oj when you get off for murder leave the country man turks and cacos is nice like what are you It's great investment property Go to Belize It's beautiful Like what?

It's un-Belize-able The response Oh Steve So we're all in agreement Stephen A. Smith Would have won The trial of the century If he had been the lawyer

Oh If I was there I would have won the trial And if I was Conor McGregor Let Nate Diaz Try to smack talk me I would have

Choked Nate Diaz out And then spat In his brother's face Knocked him out too Hold both belts over my head like I know neither of them are champions Doesn't matter Because I would find a way

I know I can become champion Let those kids at that Spelling Bee Spell Chrysanthemum I'll spell it twice as good As they could I know I can win the National Spelling Bee I'm Stephen A.B.C. Smith Oh Steve

Wow You know And I gotta say Stephen A. Smith Has been red hot fire recently Skip Bayless We don't get to We don't get to

Roast Skip Bayless enough I think Skip Bayless Is just not saying Stuff anymore You think he's tapped out Yeah he's on his way out I'm saving the good stuff For Fox Sports 1

Let Fox Fox out I can't wait for him To join Fox Sports 1 So we can just hear him Blblblblblbl Back and forth They'll be trying to

OEI each other On different networks It'll be amazing Oh wow And there won't be any of the common courtesy of we actually have to see each other every day?

Another competition. Yeah. Do they dislike each other? No, I don't think so. They're gonna. I think they make each other a tremendous amount of money and that's why

they like each other. Yeah. And now they're gonna be enemies. Frenemies. Frenemies. It's like the hills. If I was Fox Sports 1, I would have got him

to agree to a $50,000 salary. Oh hey Steven You know We're just in between commercials My mother made these muffins And I think they're the best So you should try

I can make muffins Way better than your mother And your father And by the way Kevin Durant Don't test me Kevin Durant Your mother does not want

Muffin problems with me Jesse you wanted to say something You look like you wanted to say something Oh you're okay Okay good well then we just thought we'd play that for you no one can be silent

I'll be more silent than Jesse watch and the lesson is guys if you ever get away with murder leave the country

don't steal your own merch back no if you ever murder someone make sure Stephen A. Smith is your lawyer cause he's clearly the best lawyer on earth

good point I mean that's what I took from all of this yeah don't steal your own merch back don't be an idiot What a maniac

Like uh Well you can skate On straight skates Yeah but you They also take You know Helmets Gloves

Gloves Shoulder pads Helmets Everything Just for kids It's for kids that Wouldn't normally be able To afford it

Give them a helping hand Maybe you got some New hockey equipment For this Christmas Very somber Yeah Oh maybe you got Hey brother

Maybe you got some New hockey equipment What you gonna do With the old one What you gonna do With the old pads Can you do Ultimate warrior

see that would just be nonsense just breathe in heavily i'll tell you what you're gonna do so you're gonna go down there and you're gonna get some skates and you're gonna be like i don't need these skates anymore and what you're gonna do is you're gonna give them a skate to great yeah and then you're gonna give them to some kids who need it and then you're going to go a step above that and you're going to go and give them your gloves too. You're going to be like, I scored enough goals with these gloves. These gloves

to rain down from the heavens from the hockey gods. And also, my helmet. I need to give away my helmet, my warrior helmet. It has been through many battles with me. I now need to give it to a young warrior. The color of Steve's face right now.

My neck hurts. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable Oh my god I was gonna ask you to do a Stone Cold Steve Austin Skate to Great promo If you think maybe you could I'll tell you what I'm gonna do

I'm gonna go down to the basement What? Gonna look at my skates What? I see one pair What? Two pairs What?

Three pairs What? A rusty pair What? Don't know if I can do anything with that What? That's a lie I know they can repair it

What? I got a helmet. What? Three gloves. What? It's very confusing. What? Where'd the other glove go?

What? Doesn't matter. What? I got a stick. What? Two sticks. What? Another one.

What? You can't do that. DJ Khaled, you can't do that. Why can't I do DJ Khaled? You can't switch people. No, no, no. Three sticks. What?

Four sticks. What? Come on, Jesse, help me out here. Pizza sticks. What? Cheese sticks. What? Those aren't useful for Skate to Great, but all the other things are.

give me a hell yeah hell yeah DJ Khaled go back don't do that and look at old Ultimate Warrior

promos holy smokes was he something when you do that go back and search 80s WWF with only the breathing

Ric Flair Hulk Hogan Macho Man Randy Savage They cut out all the words and it's just a bunch of fucking hot dog steroid machines. Adam is crying right now.

And it really drives home, you don't realize, these are literally just 300 pound steroid crazy people screaming at the absolute top of their lungs. Like Leonardo DiCaprio in every movie, but 300 pounds of muscle. Yes, yes.

Oh, oh my God. And then, Warrior, what are you going to do to Hogan? And then Warrior is going to go into the ring, and he's going to take Hogan, and he's going to drop an elbow on him. And then he's going to go, and he's going to drop another elbow on him. And then Warrior will give him the Warrior Press, and Warrior will lift him into the sky, into his sky castle, where the Warrior lives amongst all the other Warriors,

and he will be the champion with his championship belt. We've got to have some voice left over for the press conference, if you don't mind. You're going to break a blood message. Oh, my God. if they listen this far they'll listen even further and they'll listen until the end of time and then after that into heavens and in hells and then wherever they end up they are going to listen to the show because it is the show that you are listening to it is the biggest show follow the guys on twitter at steve underscore dangle at adam w y l d e and at jesse blake

The Steve Dangle Podcast. Brought to you by Panago Pizza. Order at Panago.com and stuff your face with deliciousness.