The Steve Dangle Podcast - The Steve Dangle Podcast - Dec 13, 2016 - Shootout

Episode Date: December 13, 2016

On this episode, the guys talk about Matthews love, the Blue Jackets' being incredible, then Steve rants against shootouts in any sports before getting a little bit into why he's so messed up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Panago Pizza presents S.T.P. The Steve Dangle Podcast with your hosts, Steve Dangle and Adam Wilde. Gentlemen, I want to spotlight a game that happened that you probably didn't watch. Where's James, Adam? Oh, James is still at home. I forgot him. I forgot James. I stole Steve's James Reimer, did I tell you that? Yeah, I stole it and went on vacation with it. We had a great time. I bring you cookies

And you bring me betrayal I know, I'm sorry Well since we're on it, Mrs. Dangle, shout out These are the no Adam cookies Shout out Mrs. Dangle for Basically, I had to meet her I had to drive all the way down to her school Oh, all the way down

Yeah, you had to slum it out in Durham region, Adam Because it's far And I had to meet her at lunch There's so much happening right now Oh my god Alright there was an M&M or a Smartie in the middle of a cookie And Jesse just ate the Smartie and then left the cookie That's all I wanted

So now that this show is already off the rails I want to say Thank you to Mrs. Dangle for helping me up with James Reimer It was her that put the extra Morgan Reilly on the wall It was her that sold it when Steve was like Hey there was an extra Morgan Reilly on the wall Oh yeah I'm taking that for Christmas present

Then she texted me right away And said ha Steve just asked And then you texted me and went Now I know why James Reimer's gone And I'm like, wow, I'm texting both of them right now It was beautiful I learned, well, I already knew this But Mrs. Zangle is a terrible liar

But now I'm concerned Because I found out my alleged friend Adam Is a good liar So I don't know How to read anything Let's talk about a game that neither of us watched And Jesse did not watch either Jesse's here, still eating his Smarty

It's a little late to be talking about the Grey Cup, Adam It is not the Grey Cup TFC. Oh, don't be a jerk. I did not see a second of that. You're wrong. Now, it was a Boston University's women's hockey team versus Minnesota's women's hockey team.

Let me get my glasses. Why are you getting your glasses out? So I can see the thing. Well, it's not really about the play. I want to see it. Steve, we're doing a radio show. Do you really think it would be about the play? Screw the people listening.

I am here. What is happening right now? There's a scene on the screen. I thought you were going to show them. You're a legend friend, Steve. I don't get my James Reimer figure back. I don't get to watch a clip. What do I get, Adam?

What do I get? You get two halves of a cookie because Jesse stole the M&M from the middle of it. Some great friends I have. Merry Christmas. Friggin' jerks. This has been one of the weirdest starts to any show we've had. We're a little rusty, I think. All right, all right.

So here it is. I just want to play it. I am fine. Listen to it. I can't wait to listen to this video. Flynn wins this one back when Tarnowski comes up to Crossley and she'll just ring it around the boards trying to kill off a little bit of time. Flynn and Tarnowski working with it.

Tarnowski gets it behind the net. Tarnowski, do that again for Flynn. Flynn scores! Natalie Flynn! Natalie Flynn! Natalie Flynn! Good morning! Good afternoon!

And good night, Minnesota! Natalie Flynn, the captain, with a multi-goal game. I have lost my voice in excitement. The Terriers take this one. Six, five, in the overtime. How about that? That is Max Wolpoff. Boston University obviously sent him down there to cover the game,

and he sure did cover that game. well uh now i understand all the tweets i got because people were like man you should do play by play and i'm like and i actually said well i don't think they want a screaming lunatic on their broadcast and they went um have you seen and the answer is no wow yeah wow he really went for it he did he really did i mean hey get it out while you're in school i mean i mean that's That's where you learn, right? Yep, absolutely. And you know what?

Good for him. I like the excitement. I like the excitement. You learn that you kind of do a build. You do a little bit of a slow build, and before you get there, you can't just be like, oh, yeah, and there's a play going on,

and it's exciting. You're like, it did happen really quickly. I mean, it was behind the net, and then Natalie Flynn, who hadn't scored, apparently, for an entire year. This is what I'm reading.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, so that's pretty cool. I'm just happy that Steve could see that call. Me too. I am happy that Steve saw it too. I hope the rest of you Google it. Or maybe I should start posting my prep on Reddit like I keep saying I will.

People are doing it for you. Oh, are they? Okay, well then, taken care of. Listen, I have eight jobs, okay? I have eight jobs. We have one listener who always tweets like, oh, they're recording a new podcast today. This, this, and this will be topics.

And I'm like, oh, okay, I guess so. Really? They guess at what we're talking about? Oh, they don't guess at them. They tell us. Oh, okay. So thanks for that, Andrew. Did they have Patrick Laine on that list?

I don't know. Okay, well, here's my question. And this has been asked before. This is not my question. But it's a question I definitely stole from the internet because I think it's actually a great question. Will Patrick Laine be the fastest player to score on all 30 teams in the NHL? Oh, that's interesting.

Now, will he be the fastest player to score on all 31? Well, 31, yeah. Next year? Because he's got to score on all 30 this season. And then 31 being next year. The race will be on. Oh, my goodness. So you're counting the goal against...

Of course I'm counting the goal against Winnipeg. Oh, Adam. I didn't even understand that. See, I knew Steve didn't get it. No. Because he didn't say, oh, Adam. No. Yeah.

Steve just went along with it like it was a serious question. Oh, Steve. That's an O Steve You're right That is an O Steve What a dummy It didn't look like He was shooting it

Behind the net No It looked like He was like I'm net puck goal Yeah That's what he does Right

I'm net puck goal That's the new Evgeny Malik And I am score Yes I am net puck goal I swear to god That's the Finnish one

I am net puck goal Net puck goal Yeah He just He sees a net He has the puck Normally It's on the other end

Of the ice Yeah So I can't say I blame him, right? It's just a natural reaction. Oh, no. Have you ever seen, I think it was like Team Japan, and he scores on his own net, and as soon as he takes the shot, you see his face like, he realizes what he's done.

Yeah. I've never seen a player take like a hard wrister behind their own net. It would have been hard. I don't know who was in net for Winnebago. I think it was Hellebuck. Yeah, Hellebuck would have struggled, even if he'd been in position to save that. I mean, Leinert's got a great release.

He really does. It's a really quick shot. guy, man. That's so brutal. I felt bad for him. I thought one of the best things I read on Twitter Game winning goal, by the way. Game winning goal! Yeah. So was he the first guy to not only get a goal, but a game winning goal against

all 30 NHL teams. If he scored on Edmonton after that, would he have got a game tying goal as well? A GTG? A GTG. Wow. Very underrated slash shouldn't exist stat. Doesn't matter stat. Yeah. Does NHL.com mark GTGs

as assists? Just for fun? Were you explaining shots to Jesse? Have you explained shots? What shots count and what shots don't? Like why a shot off the post doesn't count as a shot? Oh yeah, a shot off the post doesn't count Did you know that? No, I didn't I knew that because of NHL

Oh, okay, see, I didn't know that And that is the most ludicrous thing I've ever seen The stupidest thing ever What is a post a part of? The net So it is part of the actual structure of the net So if it goes off the post and in Is it a goal with no shot?

Yes. It would have to be. What if it hits the post and then banks off the goalie? It's a goal with no shot. If you hit the side of the net, is it a shot? No, but that's different because it's on the inside. Yeah, I think if it hits the side of the goal post, it's fine. If the shot comes and it is post and over, like post to post, it should count.

No, it shouldn't. I think maybe we're seeing why shot attempts are... Really more important. Better. Yeah. No, I was on NHL.com last night and I was trying to figure out something about the Leafs power play and i wanted to look at shorthanded safe percentage so the safe percentage goalies have when they're on the penalty kill and much to my surprise like 25 goalies many of whom were

starting goalies in the nhl had not allowed a power play goal yet this season really yes so turns out nhl.com is just stupid and inverted power play save percentage which is safe percentage while your team has the power play, which, who cares, versus while you're on the PK. Which, if that's the case, shouldn't power play goals be shorthanded goals? Shouldn't shorthanded goals be power play goals?

Stop it. It's NHL.com! A very happy unbirthday to you! Or a merry unbirthday. I always screw that up. Stupid. I know. I hate that you said happy instead of merry.

I know. You jerk. You know what? I'm going to be called out on that. And you know what? While I'm getting people to forgive me for my sins, Dubnik. There.

Oh, is somebody mad about you saying Dubnik? Well, yeah. I mean, the way you should say it is Dubnik. But, you know, everyone is insisting that I say Dubnik. Someone's also upset at you for saying Lungfist. Now, how the hell do you say that? Lungfist? I don't know how we're saying it.

I don't know how we're saying it. Hank! You happy? Hank! The guy who looks good in suit. Yes. Really good. Bluesuit man.

Yeah. Hey, handsome NHLers, we missed him. We said Aaron Ackblad. We didn't say Henrik Lungfist. Well, Lungfist. Lungfist. Lung fist Lung fist is incorrect

Lung fist Lung fist Lung fist Because he can punch you in the lung fist He's a breath of punch air He's a fist of Fetch air Lung fist

Someone needs to make that t-shirt Yeah Are you ready for this barrage of breath? Adam I think you wanted to talk about Patrick Liner I did want to talk I just I just wanted to honestly know I think

Does it count if That was the only question? That was my Well that was my question Does it count Is that leading into A broader discussion? If

Does he hold the record For scoring on the most On all the NHL teams If he scored on his own team That still has to count right? No it doesn't See they don't track Fastest players to score

NHL doesn't track own goals Like soccer But in But in real life Who cares what the NHL tracks In real life He would be Okay fine

Right? Let's There you go Patrick Laine Let's give him something We refuse to give him Better than Austin Matthews so we'll give him that.

Well, there was something else that I thought was interesting that I got from Twitter, which was, headline if Line A scores on own goal. And then it's like, Captain... Blake Wheeler consoles young,

scampy rookie. Headline if Austin Matthews scores on own goal. Six reasons why Patrick Line A should have gone first overall. And it's true. You won't believe number seven. I know we only said there were six.

What? For some reason, people have a really hard time admitting that Austin Matthews was the right pick at first overall. I'm not concerned with the debate. I wouldn't be, but I don't think the debate exists for people that have rational minds.

But it's the same people that call into radio stations and go, if we get Conor McDavid in the draft, let's trade him for seven players. Let's do it. Seven who? Seven who's? Yeah, let's trade Travis Green for Joe Thornton. Okay. One of my favorite radio calls of all time.

Travis Green. Andy Frost just went, uh, and clicked, hung up on the guy. Good for Andy. Which I guess brings us to James Myrtle's article. Does it not? It does. So let's talk about this. James Myrtle, who we are now allowed to mention again.

Yeah, because he works for not the competitor. Yeah, we'll see if we can maybe work something out. Have him on. Maybe. So what do we know about James? What did he say? So, okay. I have been yelling and screaming for a long time.

Before the season began. I think you could just end the sentence there. Yeah, I have been yelling and screaming for a long time. So, I said from the very beginning before either of them ever played an NHL game, Laine will outscore Matthews. He will. He's a goal scorer doing goal scorer things. That's what he does, man.

That's what he does. I get it. And that's a great thing to have. Who wouldn't want Patrick Laine on their team? 30 teams should want Patrick Laine on their team. 31 if you count Vegas. I would say 31. There you go.

32 if you count scoring on your own net Steve's an idiot No, still 31 I know I get it, listen Sometimes we take it a little too far I will not have a career In stand-up like Ken Reed's brother

So James Myrtle took a deeper dive Into the numbers With Matthews and Laine You know what, the article is good I tweeted it The article is good even if you just ignore the line-A stuff. Because I'm tired of the comparison.

They're not the same type of player. So you can't really compare them? Not really. I mean, I suppose you could. Which player would you rather have? And you could compare needs of team. Totally. And depth of team.

And I'll tell you, the Winnipeg Jets are a far better hockey team than the Leafs. And far deeper. Well, I look at what the Leafs have, and I look at what the Jets have. who could the Leafs use more right now assuming they are equal Austin Matthews a center

who can play both ends or Patrick Laine who scores his brains out well I believe Austin Matthews and I say that because we had a player who could score his brains out

and it didn't work out for us and they're still scoring their brains out exactly but it's a little bit more even this time I shouldn't say still because last year

they could not but they are but it's coming from multiple sources now yeah it's It said a lot of things about Matthews that I hadn't even thought of, really. Such as? Give me an example. Well, one was, so his most common left winger is Zach Hyman,

who he's played almost all of his on-ice time with. And then his two right wingers are either William Nylander or Connor Brown. Now, what's the trend there? All are Calder eligible. They're all rookies. Mitch Marner, you know, they got sheltered. you've got JVR, you've got Bozak. Matthews has basically had to fend for himself this entire time.

Yeah. And he's a brilliant possession player. The Leafs get more shots for than against when he's on the ice. It's great. Now, the one sheltering thing that Babcock does with Matthews is Matthews gets way more offensive zone starts than Laine, and I assume his Leaf counterparts, mostly because Babcock doesn't quite trust him on his face-offs yet.

Matthew started really bad at the face-offs, and then he got good, and then he kind of tailed off again. Right, and that's something that Babcock is a big believer in. You can learn that skill. You've got to be good on that skill. If you want to be a center and you want to play real minutes on Babcock's team, you've got to know how to do that and do it consistently. Why do you think Ben Smith has a job?

Totally, and people dump on Ben Smith. And yeah, five on five, yeah, he's kind of a liability. Not going to lie. And, I mean, Roman Polak, too, and Matt Hunwick. At least together. All three of those guys kill penalties, and the Leafs have a top five penalty kill in the NHL. Which, you know, no one seems to want to give them that credit,

but it's true. No one will ever want to give the Leafs credit for anything. Yeah, or those guys in particular. That's not a good storyline. I think people are definitely going to be writing the grizzled vet Polak and grizzled vet Hunwick teaching the young whippersnapper leafs their ways. How to live.

Yeah, how to live. That does make me laugh because we make those assumptions as though, and I've made them myself, where you're like, well, this guy's older, so therefore he's a good role model. You don't know that. You don't know that. There's a lot of people who are very successful

athletes, bankers, business people, whatever profession, that have been at it a long time, really successful, terrible teachers. Terrible. It's funny when you get to like your Kind of teens maybe late teens And you realize oh this guy's a terrible adult Yeah

I remember looking at a teacher once I've been taking this guy's word for it for a very long time I remember looking at teachers and going I guess teachers can be bad people too Oh yeah Liars and cheats and not good teachers I was lucky to have Mostly very good teachers but I did look at a few

And go oh damn you're dumb Yeah I've been thinking about this for a very long time And you're just stupid You're not with it are you Now that being said Offended all the teachers Now that we've gotten all that childhood aggression out there

Yeah I don't think these guys are that But anyway point being Go look at James Myrtle's article on the athletic So is the crux of the article What is the argument Is it that both are good for their teams And their respective fits Or that Matthews was the right fit for the Leafs

What's the thesis Laine is a great goal scorer. He's going to regress, but he's still going to be a great goal scorer. Prolific. Prolific goal scorer. But he has gotten to play with vets. He's gotten to play with the Jets' best players. And he's been sheltered a little bit, but not a great possession forward,

but very good on the power play. Matthews has not got to play on the power play as much. and instead of um being part of a great line he's created a great line wow he is already like his uh oh shoot i'm trying to remember what the stat was i think it was so the most common defensive pairing he's on the ice with is polak and hunwick and wow really yeah and his possession numbers with those guys is still very good when he's on the ice without them oh he's like in elite territory and his shooting percentage is it's about 12 percent which is like about about average that makes sense line a shooting 20 and um myrtle kind of went through it i think he worded it as

there's stamkos there's crosby and there's everybody else like over the last 10 years or so Stamkos is like 17%. He's goofy. Crosby is 15%. Everyone else is like, there's a couple 14s, then a few 13s and 12s. The best goal scorers in the league,

they don't shoot 20%. Ovechkin even shoots around, what, 13, 14? I can't remember his, but yeah, probably. Because he gets a lot of shots. He gets a ton of shots, and so does Matthews. So does Matthews. But, as they should.

And the thing Myrtle pointed out that I thought was weird, and maybe I should stop giving the entire article away was Matthews is actually better at shot generation. Wow. I would have assumed line A, the goal scorer, would shoot the lights out. But the point is not the comparison between the two.

Go check it out. James Myrtle, the athletic T.O. Sick. Sick. And I don't think you have to pay for it yet. Something I found interesting about the Leafs recently, obviously we've focused a lot on, and it's been the defense.

Andrew Berkshire at Sportsnet.ca analytically went through their defensive pairings. He was on the radio while I was on my way here. And I got to hear him break down his article. So this is good. I didn't get to read it, but I heard it. It's really, really interesting. And I'm not going to give this one fully away either.

But what was interesting... I will. Screw that guy. It tells you the exact story that you've probably seen with your eyeballs. Which is Carrick, Riley, Gardner, your top three defensemen. and a lot of people will be like

well what about Zaitsev actually his numbers are okay but they're a little below average sometimes but did he explain in the article the context there

because Riley and Zaitsev are constantly playing against the top teams or the top forwards and top defense from the other team so he provided a different context

on the radio it was that so basically when it comes to turnovers it's based on the player and where they're passing to so the player can be you know steady calm but if there's nowhere to pass it to you know that's when turnovers can get created Zaitsev is still getting his bearings he's a KHL vet

you know we know he's young but he's he's a KHL vet so he's used to that ice surface it took Alexei Emelin who Berkshire and I got in excuse me Emelin Emelin whatever I don't care screw that It took him a couple years to adjust properly to the NHL, and now he's actually a pretty decent defenseman for the Habs. So, Zaitsev, kind of same issue. Well, and what I found most interesting about it is that Zaitsev, it looks like, will improve. It just looks like, I mean, and he's already...

Carrick, too. And if you've been watching, you have Carrick for sure. Now, if you've been watching, you know Zaitsev is good. Zaitsev good. You know Zaitsev good. Hockey gold net. You also know that Carrick's been good, like I said. So Zaitsev, Carrick, you know they've been good.

So what's interesting about the whole article is, everybody's been talking about Dougie Hamilton and Kevin Shattenkirk and whoever else has been bandied about as potential defensive targets for the Leafs. A, you've got to remember that going into the expansion draft, they're going to have to, whoever they acquire, they're going to have to protect. So that might be a reason not to go out and make that signing or make that trade right now. number two is they may only really need a third pairing upgrade yeah we it's and this is the hard thing and i've i've been guilty of it basically after every loss this year is you go no i want

them to be good now but that's you just it's not how it works that's not how it works it's not how It's a process. Of course, if you add a fantastic player to this team, they'll be better. Yeah. Oh, if only they added Tristan Crosby. I would still trade Travis Green for Joe Thornton. Me too. Who wouldn't?

That's what I want to know. If only Carey Price. If only Carey Price was available. If only P.K. Subban. I almost said Shea Weber. Ha! Well, Shea Weber too. Sure!

He's played great. What can we do to get him? do we have a PK lying around that's the thing Vancouver's got a Jordan let's get him but it's so much easier to get your hands on a third pairing defenseman it's so much easier

it's doable and it's not something they have to do right now and I think that puts them in a really good spot yeah I think I think we haven't really wrapped our heads around it because it's not a reality yet it's not we're not being the expansion

draft isn't right before our eyes i think it's going to create a seismic shift in the league like there are going to be some teams really really screwed up by it and it's going to be that one that one piece that one player absent that just throws everything off a little bit and it won't even be like a star for that team but it'll just be that one guy i was wondering this the other day when vegas does the expansion draft will there be teams there have to be teams that they skip over right i believe don't they have to take one from every do they have to take one from i see that's the thing is i haven't read through the rules but i wonder i think they have to okay so they'll take nhl players that won't make the team maybe oh oh yeah and this is this

was my other assumption is they will take players knowing that other teams want these players so like it's it's like a draft well it is a draft but it's like the nhl draft you just pick the best player available nba draft it's like it's good to do this across the leagues you take the best player available so what the what vegas needs to do is not uh draft the best team for them draft the best value yeah so if you really need a defender but there's a much better forward out there then yeah take the forward and pitch him to someone who needs that forward and see if you can get a defenseman in return to answer your question the vegas franchise must select one player from each presently existing

club for a total of 30 players. So, the Leafs are going to lose a player. The Penguins are going to lose a player. If you're listening, your favorite team is going to lose a player. Wow. Wow. Everybody. Get ready. Get ready, kids. It's going to be interesting. It is going to be interesting.

And for some of you, it'll be Frank Corrado. And for others, it'll be someone right now on your maybe first or second line. Who knows? Who knows, man? We got a whole bunch to get through Including the UFA busts of 2016 so far

Lundqvist versus Ranta Yeah, I know, it's so early That's why we're doing it And, okay, fine Maybe Columbus is alright at hockey Yeah, we're finally going to talk about it We'll talk about that next On the Steve Dangle Podcast

So Adam's eating food Sorry, I haven't eaten in like 8 hours I'm starving Put it in your face Alright, alright We're back here on the Steve Dangle Podcast So, I got a couple I got some twaits

I got some great twaits One I missed it I should have just gone on the tweet I was on Adam you're so good at your job I got this from Bobby Cappuccino He sent this to me

It's a tweet from Igor Iranko Who has a lot of good stuff Out of Russia He says Per Bugar underscore two I don't know who that is But they have 37,000 followers

So I'm just going to throw it out there I don't know who that is Steve Yes I know my mouth is full of food But can you just get to the I'm just going to leave him to see how long this one's going to happen. How dare you?

I'm just giving you full context. This has got to be fun. Maybe I'll just eat. Maybe I'll just have a cookie. You're right. I should have let him go. I should have let him go. I'm sorry.

I thought he was just rambling to himself. All right, here we go. Per Bugar, dude. Never mind. You guys don't get it. How many followers does he have? When did he first sign up for Twitter? That's what I want to know.

Do we know his date of birth? Can you read me his bio? What's this picture like? What is the picture about? Does he have a cover photo? You know, I didn't realize I was being air-checked on my podcast right now. Okay? Wow, that went on.

You know what? Sometimes I take too long to get to the point, and sometimes you don't bring me back my damn property, Adam. My friend, James. Is he your friend, or is he your property? Can I get to the damn point? I would like that. Yeah.

The Leafs are... I'm going to break this phone! Oh, I'm sorry. Are you inconvenienced by someone interrupting you? Oh! Get that crap off your chin there! Learn how to eat like an adult! You're a disgrace!

So apparently the Leafs are interested in Vladimir Kachov from Akbar's KZN of the KHL. The older one, he's not related to the Kachov who signed with the Oilers. So there. That was a tweet that I got while Adam was

stuffing his face. And there was another one. Oh yeah, Simeon Varlamov apparently is not at practice because he has a busted groin. So the Leafs might have lost the game, but they broke Varlamov. No! Oh, is he in your pool? Oh! Jesse might have been actively cheering against the Leafs on Sunday

No I was cheering for a shutout Because a shutout would have helped But once there was a goal by the Leafs I was like okay go Leafs Thanks Jesse it's good to know We have your report with like 3 minutes left My fantasy team is very important to me

And apparently not our friendship UFA busts So far in 2016 Let's talk about it go ahead we should just cut the show and start here here go ahead

talk about UFC bus Ryan UFA bus UFA bus did I say UFC bus go ahead no Steve did okay

number one so far oh my god get to the point number one so far Andrew Ladd New York Islanders Andrew if you remember signed for

oh we all know who he is seven years 38.5 million dollars seven years of Andrew Ladd yeah that's a lot of Andrew Ladd would you would you

would you say total bust right now or just having a slow start what's his points at or what are his points at um that is a really good question let me pull that up

oh my god oh my god get to the points I got it I got it alright ready ready yes

ready ready yes cause I know it took a long time to get to one sportsnet is not opening

I have it in front of me I have it too you ready for this oh boy okay three goals three assists oh boy

and he's making what was it, Joffrey Lupo money? Like 5.75? 5.5. 5.5? Minus 6. Not that that matters, but minus 6. Well, no. But that is very rough. For a guy who I think going into the season

you would have assumed would be on Tavares' wing. Right. That's not very good. Next one, Louis Erickson. He signed for 6 years, $36 million, $6 million cap hit. In 29 games he has 6 goals and 5 assists. You know, that is bad but it's not a complete disaster i think no he'll improve he'll improve michael bodker didn't

realize that he'd signed a four-year 16 million dollar deal with san jose oh baby did he 28 games two goals three assists no one saw this coming was he not one of the ones that everyone was screaming don't do it i'm pretty sure he was was he pretty sure okay okay he was another oh here's why i know that because at the deadline he was one of the big fish and basically the entire analytics community was going why don't why is he one of the big fish right right uh joel colburn former toronto maple leaf signed a and this is all this is two years five five million dollars so 2.5 million dollar cap hit it's not bad well you haven't heard of stats yet okay 24 games three goals one assist okay yeah that's kind of bad but it's not that much have been bad though

it's like okay erickson has been disappointing colburn has been disappointing but is it a combination of they've been bad and their team has been bad i would say so i think so kind of it's harder to score on a team that sucks it absolutely is and honestly if you're signing a guy at $2.5 million, your threshold for bust is very hard. Like, it's very, very limited. You are not taking much of a risk. And Colburn doesn't... And it's two

years. It's two years. Nah, that's a bit cruel. Carter Hutton, St. Louis Blues, goaltender. Oh, yeah. Two years, 2.5 total. So he's got $1.25 million. That's it? Yeah. He has two wins, four losses, an 8.88

save percentage, and a 2.98 goals against average. Every time I hear Carter Hutton's name I think about how In a previous life There was once a blogger Who criticized him And then a teammate of Carter Hutton's

Came out and blasted this blogger For it Criticized him when he was playing junior? No, criticized him when he was on the Nashville Predators I believe The blogger was Justin Bourne And the player was Rich Kloon

And one is the video guy for the Marlies, and the other is on the Marlies now. Wow, that's funny. Small world. Yeah, very small. I wonder if they've ever spoken about it. And the last one on the six biggest UFA busts of 2016, according to Sportsnet.ca,

James Reimer. Oh! I mean, he's had a bad start. He's had a bad start. Five years, $17 million. He's got a $3.4 million cap hit. And James is kind of a notorious slow starter, is he not? I don't know about that.

I think he had a shutout in his first game with the Leafs one year. I don't know. I don't know. He has three wins. Okay. Four losses. Okay. Two overtime losses.

Okay. I mean, it's all whatever. So he's three and six. A goalie's record isn't entirely up to the goalie. Goals against average of 302. Also not up to the goalie. Save percentage of 894. There's the bad one.

Yep. There's the bad one. And I mean, 894 is bad. It is bad, but it's... It's recoverable. Yeah. I got faith. There's...

Okay. In his career, even if you look back at his bad years, history suggests he'll be better than that. Yes. Even at his worst. So, Florida Panthers fans, chill. Now, what about, there's two last names. Two last names I'm going to give you here. Okay.

And they are both goalies. Okay. Both teammates of Jimmy Vesey. Okay. One is the experienced, grizzled, handsome Older netminder Who's been there And the other is Henrik Lungfist

Breath of fresh fist So we've got Lungquist and Ranta Yes And the They've, what is it, three games in a row now? Yeah, can I read off the stats? Yeah, please do Alright, so

In the three game stretch Ranta stops 62 of 63 shots Great stretch 0.33 goals against average 9.84 save percentage 2 shutouts His shutout streak is currently at 151 minutes And he's going to start tonight

For the 4th straight time Versus Chicago I mean you ride the hot hand right And then Lungquist Lungfist He's 3-3 in his last 6 games 8.90 save percentage and 9-12 save percentage on the year.

That's not bad. Most teams are like that. No, that's a little under Freddie Anderson, I think. This is also the first time in his career he'll sit for four straight games when healthy. So he's never done this before. Rangers got to win games. You got to win games, you go with the goalie that's hot.

Now, Adam, I think you were here for this episode. I remember I was asking Jesse, though. is it a lock well no yeah we sorry we did go through this

the Rangers have to protect Lungfist no choice so then it's a lock he gets traded no

well and here's the thing I'm sure a lot of teams would like to take they would gladly take a chance on

Henrik Lungfist it's funny talking about Henrik Lungfist is a chance but I don't think anyone can afford it

he still makes eight and a half million bucks Well, it is going to be interesting to see what happens in New York And if he were to agree to waive that no-move deal It could be Fleury and Lundqvist in Las Vegas That'd be a pretty good goaltending tandem to start with It never happened, it's too expensive

But I think they might have the room on account The rest of the team isn't going to be that expensive I think they'd have the cap room And if the NHL has taught us anything The most important position is that one They literally would have the cap room They start at zero Yeah, yeah.

The goalies would hate it. Yeah. But, again, there's going to be a lot of stuff going on. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on. Because Lungfist has the, like, can you bring up Lungfist's contract there, Jesse? Sure. Lungfist has the kind of contract where, like, if Ranta proves to be better, you still got to get rid of him.

Yeah. Like, when his contract's up, you got to get rid of him. because your options are Lundqvist as your starter, and that's the end of your options. That's the end of it. Oh, my goodness. So $8.5 million this season, and the one after, and the one after, and the one after, and the one after.

So after this season, $8.5 million for another four years. And he's 34 right now. And I still think he's fine. I think you're just going with the hot hand. You're comparing stretches. I mean, Freddie Anderson, I think, has already faced over like five or six hundred shots or something. And we're talking about Ranta being hot over his last 60. Well, he's like eight and one on the year.

I mean, OK. Nine forty three save percentage on the season. That's real good. Steve's a cynic. He will not be impressed by your numbers, Ranta. He's only twenty seven. More numbers. More numbers.

But it's like, who do you pick in a seven game series? You pick an anti-Ranta or a Ranta? If someone has a 9.43 in their last 10 starts, I go with that. I might go with that person for the first. Might give them a shot. If it started today, who are you starting? If their playoff series starts tomorrow, who do you start? The player with a longer track history in the playoffs, Henrik Lundqvist.

Adam. I go with Rantiv for the first game, see how that goes. Thank you. Me too. Wow, you are Alain Vigneault. Well, I think you have to. How do you not? He loves taking a good goalie situation and just messing with it.

For such a good coach. Well, yeah, I mean, he did do that in Vancouver, but I mean, he had Schneider and Luongo, which in retrospect is ridiculous. So goofy, stupid. Like two of the top ten goalies in the league. But would you not? How can you just say, oh, I'm sorry, you played so well,

we're going to take you out? Well, the playoffs don't start today. So you're applying real-life scenarios to a hypothetical here. Right. I don't blame Vino for what he's doing I also don't think Ranta is the starter long term Not just because I have faith in Lundqvist

But because he literally can't be You can't have an $8.5 million backup You can't do it And the goaltending market is soft So you lose the person? I suppose you could go the entire season With just Ranta If he's great

And let's pretend you go to the playoffs And he gets you as far as he can take you and that's great but then what about when his contract's done you still have Lundqvist he's your starter so

I mean if you're Vigneault maybe you consider not just riding the hot hand because you have no choice but to make this work until there's one year left

you have no choice Lundqvist is your starter so is he hurting hold on no no no that doesn't help Alan Vigneault yeah

Alan Vigneault's job one and only job in the world is to win games there we go At some point He's going to have to win games with Henrik Lundqvist Sure

That's the general manager's problem Not his I fire him tomorrow If he refuses to play Henrik Lundqvist, I fire him tomorrow What if he's winning games? That guy's going to cost me a job, are you kidding me? If he's winning games, I don't know

I agree that's not his responsibility It's a very interesting problem to have Lundqvist is their starter He is. Not until he's a better player. Rantan can play 20 of the next 25 at Lundqvist's third start. See, now this works a little bit easier in football.

Your starter is basically your most expensive goalie, is he not? If he makes eight and a half million bucks, he is. Yeah, he better be. In football, it's a little bit more of a meritocracy, right? It's all based on what you've earned recently. What have you done for me lately? It's also a much shorter season.

Well, yeah, and you can cut players. Tony Romo? Yeah, you can cut them off. Has he been cut? No, he's been cut. But he's the backup now. He got injured. He did nothing wrong.

He played perfectly fine. Just got injured. Just got injured. The next guy stepped up and played too well. Be ready. Be ready, kids. And that's interesting. But I guess in the NHL, it does cloud things with the salary cap.

So interesting. It's very, very interesting. I love that the room is completely split on this because I think it's a tough decision. I don't think there's any right answer here except win the game. It does sound dumb to not go with the option that you think is going to give you the best odds of winning, but you have this guy for five years? Aren't you doing a disservice to your

entire team if you're not playing the guy who's going to win? I think you are. No, I'm saying you do your best to shove that square peg into the round hole because you got that square peg for three years, or sorry, five years. You have

to make it work or you're screwed. That's for the GM to figure out. How is Longfish going to get better? He's got to play. That's all I'm saying. He's got to play. He has to play to get better and he has to play.

He has to play to get better and he has to get better. Couple questions. Do we agree on those two things? Couple questions. First one. It's not wrong. It's not wrong. No. First question. Did you ever think in our lives that we'd ever be talking about this with Henrik Lundqvist?

No. Yeah, eventually. It's a stretch. I don't think it's going to last. Number two. what are the chances in a week from now we've forgotten about this completely

because I'm going with like 99.7% on that one it is Vino though he does like to keep you guessing he does he does like to keep you controversing

he's fun he's a fun coach he's awesome remember when Vancouver had him as a head coach oh yeah I bet that was cool

for them that was pretty fun yeah apparently all three of Vancouver's coaches from like two years ago

or in the Jack Adams conversation. Vigneault. Mike Sullivan. No, not even Vigneault. Mike Sullivan. I think it was Mike Sullivan. Torti. John Tortorella and Glenn Galutson.

Wow. Or whatever his name is. Because Calgary, all of a sudden, Piston Hot. Pistol Hot. Piston Hot works. Yeah, there you go. Tortorella and Columbus.

Columbus is arguably the best team in the National Hockey League. And Mike Sullivan reigning Stanley Cup champ. Let's talk about the Columbus thing. I don't remember when he was ever on the staff. Maybe I have it wrong and it's Vigneault. I think it's Vigneault. Can we talk about the Columbus thing?

Can we talk about that? Sure. So Columbus. I don't get it. I don't get it, man. Can I say that? I don't get it either. Can you bring up their stats?

So Chris Johnson put out something today, which I think is interesting. Steve, you tweeted it, or you showed us the tweet, and it is winning percentage with point percentage. So we're at a weird point in the season where not all teams have played the same amount of games. Like, the Jets have played like five or six more games than the Leafs. Something like that.

Something crazy like that, which... That's nice. I would assume the Jets will improve after this because their games will be spread out a little better. They had a more compressed schedule than everyone else. Yeah, if you go to the top team who's played the most games, it's Winnipeg at 32, and at the bottom is 26, Columbus. Oh, well, maybe that's part of their success.

Never know. but so if you just take the uh amount of points they have in the standings and put it against the number of games that they've played columbus is actually the top team in the league wow wow i don't believe it i can't believe it now keep doing it they keep doing it now i i i think it rests on one thing and one thing only john tortorella and no it is not john tortorella jesse thinks it's john tortorella because he's probably on his fantasy team He coaches my fantasy team But besides that obvious bias

I think there should be coaches in fantasy teams No, that's ridiculous What are his heart stats? Well, his wins-losses What are his pep-up-the-rookies stats? What are his back-pat stats? What are his benching-lung-fist stats? Not good, he doesn't have lung-fist

So no, he can't do well in that department Steve, you said this at the beginning of the season When it comes to coaches The Jack Adams Award is really for The best goaltender in the league It is a combination of Best goalie in the league And

Team who Outperformed their expectations Award How on earth do you not give The Jack Adams award to John Tortorella Right now If it ended today You'd have to

The only way you don't Is if you give it to Guy Boucher Yeah Yeah But I don't know if Ottawa has performed even though they performed well, I don't know if they performed well enough. I didn't think they would sniff the playoffs,

let alone where they are. I didn't either. So, I mean, it's got to be one of them. I just, I look at the, I look at Columbus, and I think it comes down to goaltending. It really does. They are a good team. They are a good team.

And Wierenski's been amazing for them. And I'm sort of jealous that the Leafs don't have them. But, I mean, you look at that team, I mean, you don't think, wow, unbelievable. Although, I mean, Seth Jones and Zbawinski, and what do you got? What do you got, Steve? Well, okay, so Jesse showed me some stats here. Columbus is sitting at 3.31 goals per game, goals four,

which is third in the league behind Pittsburgh and New York. It's amazing anyone is ahead of New York because Grabner has, like, what, 12 goals? Yeah. Let's check out goals against per game. How many of those were scored by his butt? none none goals apparently columbus is also third in goals against in the league minnesota is first at just two hello there dubnik washington two goals against the 2.00 goals against per game oh okay per game so if minnesota scores three on you win or well i guess lost for you uh washington

2.11 so they're second place Columbus right behind them 2.12 ahead of Montreal who is 2.17 who has Carey Price

who also allowed 10 goals that one time so if you take out that game I'm sure they're probably like first that is unbelievable I don't know if Carey Price

was in net for that game though I think it was Al Montoya shots four per game Columbus is eighth shots against per game Columbus is

11th save percentage. Now, this is the key one. I want to see if it's goaltending. Minnesota is obviously first. 9-3-5. Montreal is obviously second. 9-2-9.

Columbus is number three. 9-2-8. Sergey Bobrovsky. I'm telling you, like, there has never been a more definitive example of a goalie who got a coach fired. ever Todd Richards Todd Richards he played he was an ECHL goalie for seven games

John Tortorella comes in and he recovers to he is at least an NHL goalie and now he's an all-star and now he's an all-star again and by the way we shouldn't be totally shocked because this guy won the Vesna like what two three years ago yeah yeah he just had a cold spell which happens so I'm not I'm not trying to take you know credit away from John Tortorella but

I mean it is true it is true that goaltending what was who was the last Jack Adams winner to have like a below

league average goalie has there been one I'd have to look at the list but probably not for a while probably not for a while I want to know that one I want to know that one

and rookies rookies are great Bob Harley in Calgary a couple years ago maybe Ben Hitchcock where

when did he win 2012. In St. Louis? He probably had like league average at least. Yeah, that was in St. Louis. What about Bob Hartley a couple years ago? That might be it. These awards suck. Awards suck.

Especially coach, because you're just pulling it out of thin air. Wow. You are! You're going with the team that outperformed expectations. I have never once heard oh, Tortorella or this guy or whoever, Vigneault, should have won the Jack Adams because he does this

system where he does this with his players and he does this and that and this and this X goes to where this O is. So what you don't like is the flaw in the way it's decided. I've never once heard anybody be, oh, here's this coach's strategy and it's great and that's why he should win coach of the year.

I've never once heard anybody say that. Fair. So you want it decided by a different way. Because it's currently decided by the writers, is it not? Yeah. No, but I'm saying the way they decide it is just... Here it is. Wins!

I thought they would be bad, now they're good. Wow! It couldn't be that I had a bad analysis of the team heading into the season. It couldn't possibly be that. It's got to be the coach. Is the coach of the year award... Coach of the year award. Yeah, is it not relevant across sports?

because if a team outperforms their expectations on the players and not the coach, you can't coach a player to be better, right? Sure you can. I think you can. I think you absolutely can. So then it's a valid award. It's a valid award, but I just can't imagine. Then you have to look at what Mike Babcock did with Nazem Khadri

and go, he should win coach of the year. Oh my god! You're not kidding! You know what? That's a fantastic example, Adam. Ron Wilson can't do anything with this bloody kid. Randy Carlisle, why aren't you paying attention? Babcock with Kadri?

I mean, maybe I'm taking it over the top with Kadri for Selke. Kadri for Selke, it's going to happen. Maybe I'm taking it over the top, but he is competent to weigh forward. But it's about the team, not one player. No, but all of a sudden, if the Leafs crawl into the playoff picture, we're talking about Babcock. But your team has to win Okay

If the Leafs make the playoffs Next year Does Babcock enter Into the Jack Adams conversation? If they make it this year He does Next year But not next year

Because people thought They'd be bad this year And you know why? Do you see how silly this is? Yes And I also think that the Mike Babcock's bar Is set so high

That he'd really have to Outdo himself To ever win that award again Which is why Joe Quinville Never wins True So last year Barry Trotz won

With Washington They were supposed to be A good team Barry Trotz They were such a good team that he won the award. It wasn't a bad team that performed well. They were just really, really good.

I think they just handed around the league to whoever, man. I don't think it's always the bad team that performed better. Sometimes it's the good team that performs really good. I saw on Twitter, I think it was Ottawa's play-by-play guy apparently dropped some bomb when the Sens were playing the Kings that supposedly someone related to the Drew Doughty camp, I can't remember how, was basically like, look, we're going to start taking privileges and access away if you don't really start making a push for this guy to win the Norris.

Lo and behold, he wins the Norris. Wow. And I'm not saying I believe that theory, but we were talking about last year. It was around this time. It was like at Christmas. People just, they just decided, Drew Doughty's winning the Norris this year. He hadn't done anything for it. I'm not even saying he didn't deserve it.

I'm just saying like let's pretend it was a three-way tie and you just have to pick a winner or it's a two-way tie Doughty's victory was decided

months before the vote had to be cast it was DiCaprio it was DiCaprio yeah he's winning for the Revenant done

make it be so I was actually somebody brought that movie up today and they're like oh what an awful movie what an awful movie I know they were like

oh you're not missing anything it is so boring Have you met anyone who enjoyed Million Dollar Baby? No. It's a snuff film. They kill her for an hour and a half. Yeah, yeah.

And they just gave it awards. Why? I don't know. No one enjoyed it. Yeah. Lots of people saw it, no one enjoyed it. An hour and a half of misery. No one enjoyed that movie. It's hard to portray misery, man.

Jesse, what are you laughing at? I've never seen it. It just sounds very awful. No, it's good you haven't. Okay, so there's this boxer. I don't want to know. Spoiler alert. There's a boxer.

She does well for a bit. And then they murder her for like an hour and a half. Yeah. Like literally. Like, yeah, but not like in an action scene, like in a hospital bed. Oh. And it's really, exactly. The explanation of the movie sucks.

That's not fun. You almost wonder how those pitches get through. So we want to make this movie. No, here's how that works. Unlike most movies, the bad happens at the beginning and then good ends. We want to flip it around on its head. Good at the beginning, bad. So I'm Clint Eastwood, but I haven't spoken at the Republican National Convention,

so people still like me. I'm Clint Eastwood, but it was at least five years ago, so people still like me. I haven't talked to a chair yet. Yeah. What happened to Clint Eastwood? Anyway. I like Shawshank Redemption. That's all I know.

Yeah, of course. So I think what I'm getting at is, yeah, the Jack Adams is kind of funny. Hey, we've got to wrap it up right now on Sportsnet 590 The Fan. The podcast is brought to you by Panago Pizza. It's what's on the inside that counts. In the download portion of this, which you can get at sportsnet.ca, We're going to be talking about What the NFL is doing to make their all-star game more interesting

Because if there's a worse NHL all-star game Or worse all-star game than the NHL's It's the NFL's Their ideas, out of the box Pretty interesting And we're going to have a little talk We'll talk about John Scott as well

No, the worst all-star game in all the sports Is the MLS all-star game You see that the other day? They decided the damn thing in a shootout So stupid Give the gift of Gretzky 99 Stories of the Game by Wayne Gretzky First, he rewrote the record book Now, he's written the story of our game

To mark the NHL's 99th anniversary Gretzky looks back on the last 99 years And tells us, from his point of view About the NHL's most memorable moments We already know what he means to the game Now, he shows us what the game means to him From hockey's fierce early battles on natural ice through its mythical golden era where Hal, Richard, Beliveau, Hall, Orr and Esposito

defined greatness through the unforgettable dynasties in Montreal, New York and Edmonton and the success stories of today's NHL. Gretzky takes us onto the ice and into the dressing room to share never before published stories about the great players and great characters who have inspired him. Head over to your local bookstore today and to cross another person off your list this holiday season. I hate you for that. Oh, was that not the All-Star game? That was not the All-Star game.

Oh, they decided a championship in a shootout? Didn't the team who won have zero shots on goal? Three. They had three. TFC had 19. Oh, wow.

Like, okay. Three shots on goal. What sport was this? This would be foosball. It's impossible to not sound like a sore loser because we're all from Toronto. I hate it.

I hate it so much. That is a... That's just a really silly way to decide a... That is soccer, man. No, it's not. It's stupid. In FIFA, they do that.

You change sports all the time. Change this. It's stupid. It is stupid. Would you like the Stanley Cup to be awarded in a shootout? No. Imagine. One, that's because you like hockey more than soccer.

Yeah. Yeah. So you don't want the sport you like most to be decided by a shootout. No, of course not. Second most. Second. Listen, I'm not saying. Your second sport is fine.

I don't say. Believe me, I don't like it. I'm being your therapist here. Shootout's stupid in every sport. I'm not defending it. I'm just saying that's what they've always done in soccer. So good luck getting a purist to not. NBA final, goes to overtime, game seven, at the end of the first overtime, it's a tie, free throws.

I agree. I agree completely. Slam dunk competition. Besides the NBA. Fucking Raptors would have won 20 years ago. It would have been nice. It would have been fucking McGrady, Vince Carter. McGrady, Carter, couple years later, Jamario Moon wins NBA finals MVP for soaring to the moon.

Was not a good NBA player He was just a guy No, he was just a plug Soccer, here's the thing, soccer is the most popular sport So you can't tell them shit You can't tell them shit Their game is the beautiful game and it's perfect You can't change it

I'm staring into the camera That is a carnival of a way To decide a championship And it's a joke, it makes the sport look stupid There it is Agreed. How can you say that? I just said it, stupid.

I don't disagree. The shootout's dumb. It's a dumb way to decide a championship. It's a dumb way to decide a championship. It's a dumb way to decide a championship. Stephen A. Bayless. Fuck you and your stupid shootout. Stupid way to decide your sport.

I'm so happy I don't care about soccer. Oh, I don't care either. No, I want to care about soccer. It's so great. I want to care, but I see that and I'm like, really? And, okay, if Toronto won, really? I'm supposed to get excited that they won that shootout? That guy kicked the ball

Into the fucking Barn sized net Against a goalie Who has to stand on a line He can't even cut out the angle Fuck you The shootout in soccer Is so stupid

And you're so close too Yeah You're so close It's literally taking It's like trying to dodge A shotgun bullet From fucking 10 feet away Have you seen that video

Shotgun spray Have you seen that video Of how they used to do Penalty shots In MLS No In like 95 The player would get a running start

And the goalie was allowed to come out And everyone's like Oh, this is so stupid I'm like, that's closer to soccer Yeah, so it's one-on-one Yeah It's like your battle Also, it's still stupid

Yeah, it's like soccer, Jesse You know what? It should be called the kickoff That's all you're doing is kicking You're not playing soccer You're not running You're not doing anything But kicking the thing

So take the shootout It should be called the kick jump Because it's what both players get to do One gets to kick The other gets to jump The NHL decides games by a shootout. Totally. Why not the beautiful game decides games that way?

The beautiful game does it. Not this barbaric thing called hockey. Of course, they're still in the Stone Ages with their ice and socks or whatever. I'm trying to think of stupid things. Ice and their socks. I lost it there. I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it.

I'm just letting it happen. I just hate it. It's so stupid. Here's the thing. It's foolish. Steve said he didn't care. Clearly you care Okay it's Wimbledon

It is tied So it's just who has the hardest serve Now we're just gonna set up a radar gun And that's how we decide Wimbledon It doesn't go to like Advantage or love or whatever the fuck Deuce What about golf

Longest drive Tiger Woods vs John Daly every year No it should be best chip So that's as ambiguous as possible Like let's make this as Controversial and bad as possible Ready? You leave Augusta And you go to the nearest mini putt course

And you figure it out there You tap the ball No you tap the ball to Abe Lincoln's moving legs And that's how you decide Oh you're right Jesse that's too close to golf So you gotta drive it You gotta drive it You go to the nearest Denny's and you do a crossword

And that's how you decide it Who can shotgun a beer the fastest in their golf cart? John Daly would be the biggest one of all time. And there would be reviews after like, no, this still has beer in it. This still has beer in it. No, the hole you dug with your key is way too wide. It's too much of an advantage.

It has to be an official that digs the hole in your can for you. If a curling match is tied at the end of, what are they called? Ends. Ends. At the end of the 10-10? Loudest scream. Hey!

And they measure the decimals. No. Who brought more fan? Oh, that's a good one, too. I said, who brought more fan? Who brought more beer? That's all curling is, by the way. Who brought more fan?

Who brought more central Canadians? How many Albertans do you have? How many Albertans, Saskatchewans do you have? How many central Canadians in parts of Ontario that don't count? Did you bring... Ontario's two provinces What else can I say To piss people off

Ontario is two provinces Are we gonna decide Any more games It's It's It's Toronto It's No

Ottawa, Toronto, South It is Yeah It's Ontario It's drivable Ontario And you have to fly there Ontario

Yeah Exactly Timmins Fuck off Or Sault Ste. Marie Eight hours Yeah

No Sorry And that's still in Technically southern-ish Ontario I'm just pissing people off On purpose that's okay point is like that is it just happens to be the most popular sport on earth but who who could possibly say that is an intelligent fair way to decide not just a

soccer game a championship i don't i don't know if there's an argument to be made i was merely stating that purists because purists can fuck themselves with their dumb opinion it's stupid There's no defense of the shootout You know what? I am not defending it Don't defend soccer Because I'm not attacking soccer I'm attacking the shootout

Give me a good reason to support the shootout And if it's good I'll change my mind You won't But I mean go ahead It's dumb It's stupid Give me other sports

Rugby Hardest scrum You don't even have to come out of it with the ball You just need to knock people over I don't know about this Dodgeball Who can Hit someone in the face

The fastest Lacrosse Lacrosse Longest Scoop pass Wow Wow Who can get it past

The goalie Wearing a couch Lacrosse goalies Look ridiculous You know since we're on The subject of things That maybe Shouldn't exist in games

Let's talk about All-star games Which should not exist In professional games Period end of story Except for the NBA one The NBA all-star game You know what no

You know what should exist? You don't even need the game. You need the skills competition. That's what you need. That's the marquee night. That's the better night. The dunk competition, the three-point competition, that's what I watch NBA All-Star Weekend for.

I think the NBA All-Star game is the most watchable. It's the most closest to the actual sport. Yeah. Yeah, and their actual game is... They average like 60 more points each. But it's still closer to an NBA game than an NFL game. And their skills comp is awesome. The NHL skill comp is awesome

I like that it's mic'd up Because it's literally no defense Team takes a shot It hits the rim and then everyone goes And one and one and one Every single person on the court screams and one Even the defending team because they don't care They're just there for the All-Star game

I'm telling you All-Star game should be cancelled So what is the NBA or the NFL doing Because by the way I want to Before I get into this I want to actually tell you a story Story time Uh, actually, baseball might be closer to the actual sport than basketball in their All-Star game. Because they actually have to play the sport in order to decide the final, which is now

gone. No, yeah, that's not, that doesn't exist anymore. So, yeah, the MLB All-Star game might be the best. It's funny, I thought it was so stupid, and now they've gotten rid of it, and I'm like, oh, I care about that less. Yeah. But what are you more concerned about being a success? The All-Star game?

The MLB All-Star game? Or the World Series? The World Series, obviously. Did you know the World Series home field advantage has never been decided by the team with the best record? In the history of Major League Baseball, they've never determined who gets home field by who has the best record. How do they do it?

Pre-All-Star game, they just alternate. What are you doing? If you want to work... Steve, I want to work in sports. Can you give me some advice? Just do it. There's dumb people running every sport. every sport at every level

they're stupid people take their job that's my advice okay next I was out sorry the story that I thought

I was going to tell was incorrect so I'm not going to tell it NFL NFL all-star game Pro Bowl Pro Bowl

which happens right after the Super Bowl no now it's in between oh it is okay I have never once intentionally watched

because guess what nobody cared when it was after the after the Super Bowl we were done with football yeah so the worst thing ever

So here's the thing. You're going to take the most physical game on Earth and you're going to play an all-star game where people are going to hit each other. Sure. Okay. So the NFL knows this. They know the game's boring. They know nobody cares. And they always have it in Hawaii for some reason. What are they going to do this year to change it up? So they announced yesterday that they're going to add a new skills competition to Pro Bowl Week. The event will feature AFC and NFC players Competing in a series

Of skills challenges Including Dodgeball A relay race A precision passing event And a best hands competition See I like best hands I like all of those

Except for I don't hate that Dodgeball's weird But I love dodgeball I'm watching it But there are Jacked 300 pound men Playing dodgeball

And I bet some of them I bet some of them Can't throw I bet some of them Cannot throw Cause you throw a dodgeball It's different to throw him a football, right? Dodgeball, a lot of them will, I bet, ground the ball.

Who's going to be the first to just Jose Bautista completely destroy their shoulder and not be able to play when the season starts? That's the thing, right? And then the fun part is the production company behind American Ninja Warrior and Hell's Kitchen will produce the event for ESPN. Yo, this is going to be good. I'm just saying, that's going to be fun. That's going to be really fun to watch.

And the relay? That's just the track and field nerd in me. I want to watch that. Because the combine is actually pretty interesting Yeah Like I would just watch it Like if they were just like we'll have a combine We'll have a friendly combine with dodgeball

The combine is sanctioned child labor Essentially No because they're at least adults Oh they're almost NHL is weird I went to one NHL combine And there was part of me where I'm like This is weird

I don't like that you're pinching this person It's weird well they're doctors man when you're a doctor you can do anything they put that that's not right they put that air

that World War 1 mask on them while they ride the ride the bike oh yeah and they scream doesn't that sound terrible yeah it does

like that would make me not want to be an NHL player that right there that thing on the bike one day we should do the combine oh as a show

screw that shit we should like go we should get somebody from like the ACC to come down and then do the combine we'll run through it or we'll go to the

Mastercard Center and we'll run through all the drills and film it I thought that would blow I'll do it but it would suck that'd be awesome

I just the only thing I'm not gonna like is the bike I can tell you that right now it would suck ass cause you'd be you're on a bike with a fucking oxygen tube

so you're already oxygen deprived and you're and you're going as hard as you can for like five minutes your legs are burning like hell and you're like why the hell am I

why am I doing this how do you put stock into anything other than the bike ride one is they have a bench press thing yeah which okay

if you can bench press I suppose you're strong A pull-up thing? Okay, I suppose if you can do pull-ups, you're strong. A high jump thing where you bat at the sticks? Oh, we got to draft this kid. He's good at batting the sticks. The high up sticks.

We got to draft this kid. He's good at batting the high up sticks. Or do you get the kid who can actually process oxygen better than his peers? Well, that's the one you want. Yes. Yeah. Of course. I know.

That would just suck. Or what about The one where they're like The grip strength The grip Oh is that what that is Where they're squeezing it Yeah

It looks like they're locked into I don't even know what it is Looks like they're trying on a suit That's too small I think it's grip strength Yeah Man that kid has really good grip strength We gotta take him

He will grasp his stick You know what His jump up and bat the sticks Wasn't very good But his grip strength Is also good Oh it's Oh oh

The VO2 No he was dead last But his grip strength What about What about his really good. What about his lifting with one very particular muscle group that really isn't that involved in hockey in the first place?

Oh, did you see when Austin Matthews lost his balance when doing that stupid sobriety test that they do at every freaking draft where you've got to stand on one foot and bend over and touch your nose and recite the alphabet or some dumb bullshit? They should be testing his leg strength. How about he's just Austin Matthews?

That's not going to tell you anything. Nope. So anyway, the NFL might be something to look out for this year, but you'll probably skip it anyway because seriously I'm going to watch. Do you want to hear some of the weirdest questions asked in NFL Combine? Yes! So we have some tweets

from NFL players. So a scout asked someone, if I had to murder someone would I use a gun or a knife? These are all questions they asked at the draft Combine. When a scout at the Combine asked me boxers or briefs?

Boxer briefs. if you could kill someone and not get... Wait, oh, are we doing this? Do you guys want to answer these questions? Okay, now we... See, you said Boxer Breeze. We need to go back to the gun or the knife. See, see, I'm going with...

I am going with not killing anyone. I think that's a trick question. That's how you would answer it? That's how I'd answer it. I wouldn't kill anyone. I think Belichick would say... I wouldn't be in that position. We're not drafting that kid.

Not only does he not have killer instinct, but he can't jump and bat the sticks as good as his peers. In the NFL, jumping and batting sticks is a little more relevant. Yeah, because sometimes you've got to jump up and catch the ball instead of catching the sticks. Catch sticks, asshole. How would you answer the question?

Which one? If you had to murder someone, would you use a gun or a knife? Well, see, Adam took the easy road out, because the question is, if you had to murder someone, so you have to murder someone, Adam. Belichick is asking you this, if Belichick's asking I'd be like

oh go ahead a knife because a gun wouldn't draw too much attention really yeah also it's personal

see I would say second round pick I see I would whoa is that good I think that's good you could go well because my

bat the stick score wasn't that good it wasn't that good my grip strength was off the charts though you could be super super aggressive about it too if you're trying to be aggressive

you could be like knife because when I stab you in the throat you won't be able to scream And they'll be like Whoa Don't draft him

He's a wild card No here's what you do They ask you that question Then you pull a knife Out of your sleeve And go why do I have to Do it right now And then they go

Holy shit I just pissed myself For drafting you In the first round Signing bonus Raiders would draft him For sure Raiders Just draft the fastest

Guy available And we'll make him Into a football player Okay Al Davis At least he's the fastest Yeah and they had The worst team in the NFL For like 12 years

I know They're okay this year though They're great this year actually This is another one This was a question asked to Brandon Dowdy You're on a mountain in Alaska Does your brother deserve the Norse? You're on a mountain in Alaska

On a bus going 100 miles per hour Where are you sitting on the bus? Fucking right at the front At least Hey if we're going down at least I get the view Okay There's two ways to go about this The back because it's the most fun

No way The front's the most fun No because it's like riding a roller coaster When you're at the back you get like the full Like effect Or Driving the bus Cause I'm trying to get where I'm going

And I don't care What bear or moose or other Alaska thing Gets in my way Sarah Palin's white picket fence I'm driving right through it No Alaskamoles will get in my way Alaskan animals Alaskan moles

Oh I was like What is that I know It was a stretch Is that a mole From Alaska I didn't

Oh okay Willie Beavers Who's an offensive tackle With a very unfortunate name Exactly Willie Beavers And also a character From a 1950s sitcom

That's good Willie Beavers Come on Mom and dad He played for Michigan Western Michigan actually He said the Falcons

Asked him If he'd rather be a cat Or a dog Dog dog for sure beavers answered a dog dog

you have to say why or do you say I'm throwing it out there I'm throwing it out there dogs are better dogs are better but if you say cat like

you know you're more of an individual and you can fend for yourself so on on one hand you can fend for yourself on the other hand football

football is a team game you're out there with 4900 other men or whatever it is you know you gotta gotta have

everybody's back clear eyes full heart the Spartan phalanx breaks one link in the chain is broken

that's right you must protect the Spartan to your left thigh to neck I watched 300 you did uh

we can do one more one final one uh Chris Smith Jaguars defensive end oh Chris Smith time oh

Adam Why was that necessary? Why do they use these names that are so easy to make fun of? Christmas time. Adam Tyson. The Cleveland Browns asked me, how many ways could you use a brick in a minute? That's a good one.

That is actually a complex question. You know what? This is the type of dumb shit. Have we ever gone through this on the show where I talk about how I almost got into the gifted program? No. Okay, if you're like a parent And your kid is about to go for whatever this test is

And they give you the option to do that Take your kid out of it It made me hate school Take your kid out of it So do you remember the CCAT? Yeah Did you have to take the CCAT? I don't know if the CCAT is still a thing

So they were announcing all the students Who took the CCAT and got the highest scores Okay, so by the way, I should give context The CCAT is like a standardized test that they gave out in like what grade three or four yeah and all students had to take it across the province of ontario i don't know if it was a dry flower it was the dumbest shit ever it was like the eqao test at least they ask you like math questions and stuff whatever and that was the standardized test that we took the year before the fuck anyway uh so i took the ccat test and

they're announcing all the students and they announce all the the usual suspects the smart kids and then they go and steve glenn and i remember the class like a lot of students even turned around and went steve because they weren't expecting that shit i doubt you were expecting it i wasn't expecting it but then for like two weeks i felt like the smartest kid ever i studied harder i had more self-confidence everything was great and then they bring you in for an another test an extra test and if you do well on this test you get into the gifted program and a few days a week they take you out of class with all your friends and they put you with other smart kids which in my case would have just been they put you in with the smart kids because i wasn't one

and um so i get in there and i just remember right away the guy giving the test um he was one of those guys who was bald but had dandruff oh yeah right away i was thrown off uncomfortable It was cold But he was wearing shorts and sandals And they were those weird Velcro sandals And his toes were all fungus-y Hold on So I remember already

I'm thrown off by this person Are you sure he wasn't our Grade 10 English teacher Mr. Um No No No

Because that was my grade 10 You just described my grade 10 English teacher I think I know who you're talking We'll talk after the show Okay Just in case It's like Mr. Yankov Out of here boy

And he's friggin' listening to the podcast Adam you're a dick Anyway So this guy He's just a super weird dude and I'm like okay I'm gonna you know I'm good I'm good at grammar I'm good I'm good at English and spelling and all that and math I was still good at at the time because they hadn't introduced algebra yet they hadn't introduced letters and I'm like okay I'm gonna be good at this I'm smart

I'm a smart kid of course I'm smart I did well on the sea cat then like one of the first things they asked me to do is put together a puzzle of a soccer ball I'm like what the fuck and so I'm confused because it's black and white and all the pieces look the same, but different. And I don't know. I struggled with it a little bit. Then there was another one of like, it was two pictures of like a kid running out of a burning house and he like

put it on the table. He's like, look at this. And I, and I looked at it for like five seconds and then he took it away and he's like, what were the differences between the two pictures? There were six.

Can you name them all? I'm like, what the fuck? No. And then there were all these other tests. And of course I don't get into the gifted program. And from that day forward, we're talking, it might have been grade 6, somewhere between grade 4 and 6. From that day forward, I didn't like school as much.

Ruined me. Ruined my academic career. And now look at me, fungus feet! I work for Sportsnet! You bald prick! Anyway, sorry. It's a scar. It's a mental scar, okay?

Wow, it is a scar. You are scarlet edge. I'm a 28-year-old man, and I'm still fucking jacked up about that. That was over half my life ago I drive a Dodge Stratus I drive a Dodge Stratus Thank you You fungus-y fuck

I'm a man And I live in a van down by the river Down by the river No, yeah, sorry So I just thought I would share that story Well, I'm glad you did I don't know I was so

I don't think I ever had a shot at that Because I didn't care I shouldn't have No, but you know, you're a kid. From the moment they taught me to read and to write and to do math, if I didn't care, I wouldn't put any effort in. And that's been my whole life's problem. And my blessing and my curse is that things that I love,

I devote myself completely to. There's a lot of people who can devote themselves completely to things that they hate. I can't do it. When did Stone Cold Steve Austin fight Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 14? WrestleMania 14. Because that's when I took the test. Shut up You dick

I don't know what Wrestlemania 14 was Did they ask you to throw cups In that exam He might have not liked me calling him a fungus foot Wrestlemania 14 took place in 1998 So I was I guess 10 When I took that fucking test

And it has scarred me to this day I can't believe that To this day I can't believe it's taken this long to go on the show It's a mental scar Steve's emotionally eating cookies right now I am Because fucking

Fungus fuck took away my love of school I said this I mentioned this a couple weeks ago I think when I was away on vacation Do we have time to talk about the dude In the Toronto Star Did a photo shoot with kale Yeah we do

We got time So Jesse explain this So the Toronto Star They wrote an article about men getting vasectomies and how they're over having children. They made a decision in their life. They're like, hey, I'm not. I thought you said they were over having, like they were having too many children. I'm like, that's not how a vasectomy works.

They're just never going to have. They saw children and they said, bye. I saw kids and I was just, bye. Exactly. Exactly. So, Andy Prosserman, 31, he commemorated his vasectomy with a photo shoot. No, he didn't. And he threw a party.

And do you guys want to see some of these shots from his photo shoot to celebrate his vasectomy? And then I can also read some quotes from him. I'd like to see them. Can you insert these photos into the video so people can see them? I will. I'll credit you, Toronto Star, for your wonderful... Okay, here, here, here. This dude is white for sure.

Yeah. Totally, he's a white guy. This belongs on... This is crazy white people shit. Yeah. Right here. I mean, as one, I believe... Do you want to hear the quotes first, or do you want to see the pictures?

I want to see the pictures. No quotes. Quotes, quotes, quotes. Adam's instinct was immediately quotes. Quotes. Because his instincts are better than mine. Because apparently, I'm not good enough for the gifted program! You poor prick!

Whereas I just didn't give a shit. Also, probably not smart enough. Actually, definitely not smart enough. You know what, though? The kids who did get into gifted ended up being kind of weird, socially. Yeah. And I'm fine! A lot of people who are members of Mensa are not...

Just because you're smart does not mean you'll be rich. So they find a lot of members of Mensa are just socially not adjusted and can't move forward in the world because it's hard. Lock them in a lab. Invent stuff. Jesse. The 31-year-old Torontonian commemorated his recent vasectomy with a celebratory photo shoot.

In one photo, he tenderly cradles a head of kale like green, leafy infant. In others, he clutches a bottle of scotch, a Nintendo controller, and his Canadian passport. All things he'll have time to enjoy In the absence of parental responsibilities So Please tell me they put the part of Toronto He's from? No

This dude lives down the hall from you Jesse Like I'm telling you There's no way that he's not from Liberty Village He could be from Like Parkdale Yo no he's not from Parkdale He grew up in the nice section of Etobicoke or Mississauga but now lives

In Liberty Village for sure more Burlington Burlington? yeah oh so he's one of those guys where Toronto's not his home it's his adventure

oh my god has someone said that to you ever? no oh my god I was just gonna say is that a thing that people say?

you sounded genuinely nauseous I would've been I would've barfed right here okay so let's let's talk about this then you wanna take a look I'm on these pictures okay

so this is the we'll start here here he is clutching all his important things oh my god I could have drawn a picture of this guy before seeing the photo. He's exactly how you think he looks.

Whatever you have in your mind right now about a guy taking a picture with Kale, this is how this guy looks. I should have called Beard, too. Not that there's anything wrong with beards, everybody. But obviously. I should have called Beard. And he has a lovely quote he threw up on his wall, if you want to read that, Adam. Cause I ain't Mumford, I ain't trying to have sons.

and he's got a childish Gambino quote behind him I don't ruin something I like god damn every downtown Torontonian guy why is he holding a head of kale

I think he must be doing this for fun right he must be joking this is a joke he's got a great sense of humor he must have a great sense of humor He's sitting in a room He's also got a good photographer friend

He didn't pay for this shit He is actually babying A head of kale Let's assess this He's playing a joke on the star And they ran with it Wait a second That's the most important part

This isn't the Toronto Star This is news Steve There's more I think it's two men who are featured. Subscribe to the FLAG. And it's a profile on how they decided to get their vasectomies in the life section of the Toronto Star. And I just think that... He's hilarious.

No, this guy's funny. No, you know what? I think I'm with Adam. I think I'm with Adam. No, he's hilarious. There's no way that's real. He's a little bit of a knob, but he's mostly hilarious. Yeah, like...

I think he's like 10% knob. If you saw your friend doing that and you knew they were kidding, it's pretty funny. Yeah. You know what? They're going to do this redonkulous story on you. You might as well make it over the top. Yeah, if it's going to be your one shot at putting something in a newspaper, I would. You might as well go, I wonder if they'll do it.

I wonder if they'll do it. But he went through with a vasectomy. Well, he probably was going to get that anyway, wasn't he? Yeah, he was going to get that anyway, though. I don't know. You think he got a vasectomy because of the Toronto Star? No, no, no. I think this is just how he lives his life.

And you think he legitimately wanted to sit in that chair with the head of kale and look at it like it's a baby? He said, I'm going to celebrate my vasectomy with a photo shoot. And one of the things I have now time for, because I won't have kids, is to eat more kale. Passionate about kale. And to drink more whiskey. So I'm going to take a photo shoot. You had that time anyway. Oh, my God.

The writer of this article said it? All right. All right. I'm going to one-up you. Have you guys heard of the new butcher shop opening in Brooklyn? Oh, yes. Have you? All they do is sell sponge

Did you know that it was launched on Kickstarter A successful $50,000 Kickstarter campaign To start Monk's Vegetarian Butcher Shop and Delicatessen And someone tweeted this at me Literally with It's a butcher shop without meat There are Levi Maestros everywhere Yeah, it literally is

It's a butcher shop without meat And you could have said that in the Reddit threads And you would have been right I'm going to open a music store Where all I sell is Pootie Tang albums It's just silence Wall to wall silence So in the last few months we've done

The bar with no alcohol The watch that doesn't tell time And now the meat shop that doesn't sell meat You know You know why? Because millennials defy convention Jesse Because we're so smart We're so smart

I still say Levi Maestro is the worst It is the worst But we'll find someone worse There are sober people There are vegetarians watch without time fuck you it's a bracelet

yeah but still why are you calling it a butcher shop is the word butcher that important to you call it a delicatessen fine but butcher is for meat that's the point they butcher

so then you're taking the word away from them or taking away its power if you're in Aberdeen it's a butcher we have to tell you is my stepmom said something really interesting to me while I was in Florida last week. And she said, she's like, you know, the greatest thing about being retired is that,

and she said, don't take this the wrong way, but every time someone new comes along, you know, in the workplace, they come to you with these ideas as though nobody's thought of them before. These young 20-somethings. And they go, what about this? And they've got these grand plans.

And then you realize, oh my God, I'm only 10 years into this Another person in 10 years is going to do the same thing And the cycle just repeats itself That's what millennials are Only now we all have our own platforms There's no way that before the internet A vegan butcher shop works

No way No way that it happens Doesn't get off the ground But because we're all like We defy convention bro Listen to the kid bro Kanye West met with Donald Trump this morning Bro, actually happened

This guy plays an electric guitar. But why do you have to brand it as a butcher shop? Exactly. Why can't it just be a vegan restaurant? Because we're talking about it. Alright. Because we are talking about it. By the way, they are not the first one to open.

I believe one in Minneapolis opened like a couple years ago. So anybody from, any Wild fans listening, confirm or deny. It's good that Kanye West kind of took the job of Michael Jackson early in Trump's presidency. Isn't it? Yeah. You know, you need a distraction. You might as well get in early. There you go.

It used to be Michael Jackson. And now, hey, I want to be the distraction from the actual news. Are millennials to blame for smaller hotel closets? Is that an actual headline? Woodworking.com. Woodworkingnetwork.com wrote an article about it. They say, not only are millennials driving the interior design in the next generation of hotels, their desires are also influencing residential interior design as well.

You know, I travel a lot. I travel a lot by average standards. I travel for work. I travel for pleasure. I like to get out of town when I can. I've stayed at a lot of hotels. I cannot say that at any point I know anything about the hotel size, the size of the actual hotel closet. I can't say I've ever...

Their basic argument is that millennials, they carry less things. They care more about their laptops and their Wi-Fi. No. Those are things. Than the hotel closet. And you know why we carry less? You know why we carry less things? Because our phones and laptop do everything

That our parents used to have to haul around And because we can't afford trips that are that long Yeah We can't afford trips where we're bringing outfits If you wanted to 20 years ago If you wanted a variety of 2,000 songs You had to bring a CD jacket with you

If you wanted to read 3 books on vacation You had to bring them with you That's why Hello, not millennials Who created computers? The late boomers did I'm so angry we're talking about this I know

We are giving this shite A click All you gotta do is write about a millennial All you gotta do is write about millennials And you'll get clicks And they're doing it differently Doesn't matter if they're angry clicks You're getting clicks

Write an article about analytics That sucks balls Watch your numbers skyrocket You think your boss gives a shit? Pat on the shoulder. Here you go. Stop feeding shit you don't like. God damn it.

There's a... You know how many subscriptions to The Athletic I just sold today? Are vegan millennials responsible for the death of cows? I don't know. Why don't we ask Kanye West at Trump Tower what he thinks of all this shit? With his Cisco hair. Who has Cisco hair? Kanye's dyed his hair blonde.

Oh, okay, good. By the way, I think it's great that after Kanye was on a 51-50 hold, Which is like a psychiatric hold For 72 hours He was handcuffed to a bed That he's allowed to now go talk to Trump And Trump can make time for him And he shouldn't be at home getting rest

And getting better Yeah it's a distraction everybody Go pay attention to what is not that story The guy needs a break man Oh it's crazy I want to talk about something good John Scott threw up an Instagram post Johnny Scottman

Threw up a post and it was a picture of a screenplay written by Mitch Album Album Mitch Mitch Marner

who's obviously a very well known writer Tuesdays with Maury if anybody's read that it's great Jake and Smallwood Kale Underwood Kale Underwood

Kale Photoshoots the title of the movie guys Kale Photoshoot plays left wing for the Moose Jaw Warriors Kale Photoshoot vasectomy

only eats vegan meat lives in a closet with wifi The vegetarian butcher shop Swift Current Broncos Supports the shootout Fucks the shootout Supports the shootout

Oh my god No no John Scott posted a picture Of the screenplay For his movie gentlemen I saw it And We haven't been contacted

But I have an honest question Oh shit Yeah Do we make this movie? Like maybe in like Do we make this movie Even in a quick Cutaway scene

You know what Do we make this movie? I bet they do, like, a compilation of how it got started. A montage. Yeah, they do a montage. They do American Wyshynski. Everybody's talking in a microphone in a montage. They do American Wyshynski starting the thing.

For sure. They use actual lines from the podcast where they started the thing. And then they have a montage of just, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people pointing and, hey, yeah, we should do this. Yeah, it's kind of funny. and they'll have a bunch of blogger types. They won't have us, specifically. I don't think.

I mean, they should. Well, is it a documentary? Or is it just kind of a... It's a... No, it's a movie about... It's not a documentary. It's based on... It's a screenplay.

Okay. So there is a movie there that will be acted. They won't have us. They might want to come on the show and promote it. Yeah, they're more than welcome to. But I will ask them at that point, why aren't you having us on there? We were clearly a part of this.

You dicks. But Merrick vs. Wyszynski, number one a number one deserve to be on there I don't even think they're gonna be that specific about it

they should the general podcast generic dudes who started this trend yeah so this is what's bullshit about podcasting right now is you can still do that

they're not gonna just be regular people they're gonna be like the self park world of warcraft nerds yeah let's get john scott

into this all star game yeah that's a good point or weenie in the butt in the morning hey 97.3 hey

why are they gonna vote for a guy like him alright let's do the press conference the presser S.D.P the Steve Dangle press conference this is from KVH underscore 1990 who writes

Steve having worked in the zoo does it bother you that animal crackers are not more to scale when in cracker form it is true the giraffe Cracker is not nearly tall enough He's a little round He looks a little brachiosaurus

There are no giraffes that Fat So we need more slender giraffes But I mean real giraffes Have curves And we need shorter rhinos And we need elephants with longer trunks And better memories

That's what we need You need a cracker that remembers You do need a cracker that remembers Alright that's good I like that That's a funny question A Pepperidge Farm cracker Pepperidge Farm remembers

That's nice I like that What's the most disgusting Potato chip flavor You've ever had For everyone You know what I hated Forever

And I'm just starting To come around on it Is dill pickle Nope I used to hate dill pickle Why are you saying Nope you hate it Or nope

It's disgusting It's still not my favorite But I'll eat it It's disgusting You have a problem sir No I Look again I don't like it

But I don't I don't know No it used to be like I would not eat a chip They're gross You know what I What I still can't get over

And dill pickle Kinda Kinda tastes like this And this is why I can't eat them Everyone loves salt and vinegar Why? It's okay Not only does it not

Taste that great But it stings And burns It like hurts my teeth Yeah and you scrape your mouth Because I feel it eroding The enamel in my mouth Salt and vinegar sucks

Every flavor is better Well, I wouldn't say it sucks Give me any flavor of Dorito Give me the hottest hot chip Which we still need to do At some point Wherever those are I think I have those somewhere

We haven't done a night show since In like months We'll figure it out Or maybe we do it on Friday Friday's not a night show It's a morning show We just do it at the party? No

Friday at Jesse's house? That's not happening Jesse's Christmas party? Yeah That's not happening Oh, because you only got one toilet? Yes. So here's the correct answer to your question.

The correct answer is ketchup chips. Wholly overrated and terrible tasting. I used to barf. My neighbor across the street who I grew up with, he used to, every year, he would have a party with pizza where instead of tomato sauce, he had barbecue sauce underneath and ketchup chips. On the pizza?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And ketchup. I'm just listing those Because they're two things I would never have Outside of his birthday party Right Okay

And for years We couldn't figure it Figure out whether it was The pizza and barbecue sauce Or if it was the ketchup chips Years later Definitely ketchup chips The barbecue sauce is delicious

I have barbecue sauce on my pizza Doesn't have to be Under the crust No no I have that too Ketchup chips are terrible They're only available in Canada I don't know why They're not a thing in the States

You know why? Because Americans know better It's like a dumb It's a dumb thing that we brag about. Yeah. We have ketchup chips and Americans are like,

okay, keep them. Keep them. They're yours. You talk to some Americans and they hold it in this regard. Like, ooh, ketchup chips. Ketchup chips, so exotic. We wish we could get them.

No, they suck. That's why you're not getting them. They would never sell. They'd never sell. No. In the UK, and apparently it's big in South Africa too, roasted chicken.

It's good. I've had it. I like it. Also prawn cocktail in the UK. That is weird I have tried those It is weird But I like seafood

Yeah so do I Even though it doesn't Really taste like seafood I don't want a potato To taste like a prawn But it can taste like A jalapeno It can taste like cheese

I just don't want A potato to taste like That's just a personal thing That I have But I don't think that A something A sea crawler That eats garbage

Off the bottom Of the freaking Oh don't ruin seafood For me and all Italians Stop it I'm just saying It's delicious I'm just saying

Not into it So is your answer just dill pickle? And ketchup? I don't like a lot of chips What are your favorite chips then? I like sour cream and onion And the purple Dorito bag Oh a bold barbecue I think

Yeah I think that's it Man I don't know a lot of things well But I know Doritos pretty well All other kind of chips I can kind of pass on I'm not a big chip person I cannot I will dummy any bag of chips in front of me Save for salt and vinegar, ketchup and dill

I don't ever need to have another potato chip in my life And I don't ever need to have another french fry You're just wrong I love french fries I love them too, but I don't need to have another one Whenever I get a burger and it's just assumed I want french fries No man, I want a salad Sometimes I just want fries on their own

We're not friends You don't bring my James, you say outrageous things about fries But I could not live without chocolate I'm a chocolate person I've got a sweet tooth You know what I can't live without? Just generally food that is awful for me. Okay?

Yeah. Chocolate, chips, fries. Put it all in my... Pizza. Food hole. Pizza. Pizza for sure. Pizza is good for you.

It is dairy. It is... Dairy's awful for you? No, it is... It is... It is fiber. There's vegetables. You just described chocolate.

Which is, I guess, also good for you. There's no fiber in chocolate. Yeah. What fibrous chocolate are you having? Fiber one bars. All in one chocolate. Yeah, fiber one bars. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, Fiber One brownies, which exist. Which, by the way, try giving your kid a Fiber One bar. That's a different taste. Do we have any more? Yeah, we can. One final question. One final question. One more.

Finner333. I can go home and beat traffic. Wants to know, where does Adam keep his Montreal Impact jersey? Screw you, man. That's easy. Right next to his Montreal Canadiens jersey. I do have my Montreal Canadiens, the Berkshire or Jerkshire one. I should give that to Andrew.

when do you think they'll get the Expos back Adam Montreal yeah actually sooner than you think I actually do think they'll get it back

oh yeah I'm answering that seriously he almost said we you hear that he almost said we does that mean yes or you're referring to

yourself and Montreal as the same thing I'm actually surprised at how well this is cut on oh yeah everybody's on this it's funny some people are just like

oh yeah alleged Montreal or Adam Wild someone I think was like yeah it's like you know who likes that French fucks like Adam I was like, whoa, whoa, aggressive man.

Aggressive, aggressive, but we know they were kidding. Another right back, no, I wasn't, you French fuck. I think they just wanted to say something that they felt would have a lot of impact. Oh, oh, that's almost worse than Christmas time. Oh, did that not sounder right? Because Seattle's team is called the Sounders. Yeah.

Because that's a thing. Also sound tigers. Hey there, Bridgeport. We should have ended this episode Five minutes in Disagree Five minutes in Five minutes in

Yeah okay we're done No because we weren't even good then Exactly Exactly Alright Little change Little change in the podcast schedule Because of unforeseen circumstances

AKA my My performance review at work We are doing the show on Friday So You can drive us Drive home with us Or you can listen to us Saturday morning with your kids

We'll be sure to swear a lot We love you guys Thank you for listening And we promise We'll start out At least a little bit Smoother on Friday Wait okay

It's 2.10 Let's quickly check Reporter Chris's Twitter To make sure the Leafs Don't screw us again Like they did with the NRAF Okay do it

Nothing Nothing okay Okay alright See you later Okay bye Follow the guys on Twitter At Steve underscore Dangle at Adam W-Y-L-D-E

and at Jesse Blake. The Steve Dangle Podcast. Brought to you by Panago Pizza. Order at Panago.com and stuff your face with deliciousness.