The Therapy Edit - On 5 things that will help when you feel hormonal

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Every month I turn into a different version of myself! I'm quick to snap and tears come easily. I can swing from joy to rage in a single moment. I share five things that really help me navigate the hormonal rollercoaster.

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi and welcome to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. So I asked on my social media stories a few weeks ago what topics you would like to hear on here. By the way, I'm always open to questions and recommendations. And this was a popular one. Laura, the follower called Laura, said, how can I manage that hormonal feeling each month?

It gets me every time. Well, Laura, I am so with you. I've really struggled with hormones over the years. And I find that for a couple of weeks sometimes, a week or two each month, which feels mean. It feels like a massive chunk of my life to be feeling irritable, grumpy,

I feel sensitive. I feel emotional. I feel snappy. I do not feel like a good version of myself. I do not feel like a good version of myself. And I often feel really frustrated by it. So I've just frustrated that. I feel that way. So in this podcast, I'm going to share with you five things that have really, really helped me deal with those hormonal periods, whether it is a couple of days for you or it feels like literally half a month. My cycle for a good while until recently was 21 days. So that kind of felt like I was getting about a week's respite. So I have, these are some tips that I found along the way that have really helped. So PMT symptoms, those pre-menstrual symptoms, known to be irritability, kind of low mood, when you feel emotional, sensitive, exhaustion, that kind of bone tiredness. You might find your sleep is disrupted. you have pain, you might have breast tenderness, anxiety.

For me, I definitely notice an uplift in those intrusive thoughts and shifts in mood. I mean, this is a big one, isn't it? That shifts in mood. For me, I find I get more rage, more anger, quicker to anger. You can experience decreased sex drive, might get headaches. I certainly do also get spots, get those big, painful ones along my jawline. I've got a couple now. You might feel sensitive to light or sound. This is a really common one. Suddenly the noises that wouldn't really have bothered you

before. Just really, really, really bother you. I've done a whole episode on that kind of noise sensitivity, why noise can feel so stressful. You might want to have a listen to that one if this resonates and you might also get gastro symptoms. So goodness. me with that list, I think that took me a minute and a half to read out. No wonder we don't feel great. So what can we do? What can we do to accommodate this? What can we do to help ourselves? Now obviously, I'll say right at the beginning, it's always good if you're concerned to go and speak to a doctor. I think every now and again, you know, if your symptoms feel so exacerbated or you're concerned about your cycles and sometimes you can get some clarity maybe you might need a blood test or something just to check those hormone levels if it really is feeling like it's taking you over so I will say that but what can we do so number one is go more gently on yourself you know go more gently on yourself I think I can be quite hard on myself and I'm feeling hormonal because I feel frustrated I feel frustrated I feel

frustrated that I seem less patient, frustrated that my kind of normal demeanour has gone. I can feel, yeah, angry, maybe even with myself, angry at the hormones. So how can you go more gently on yourself? There is an element of this that is outside of your control. So how can you make allowances? You know, if you become more noise sensitive, like me, perhaps you use earplugs and the ones that I use are the calmer by flare audio, and I also use the loop ones. There are different kind of thicknesses of the earplugs that you can get. And I think the ones that I like are experience.

So they're not, they don't dull, they don't block out all the sound. They just kind of soften it. And I find that so helpful just to increase my tolerance of the noisy times in my home of which there are so many. And I feel so much more reactive and stressed by that. It's a very physical feeling for many of us. when I'm a hormonal. If you know that you feel more tired when you're,

when you've got PMT, when you've got PMS, then accommodate for that. You know, don't just ride that through, push on. How can you accommodate for that? How can you maybe plan an earlier night? You know, I know some people even plan meetings dependent on when they, where they're at in this cycle.

That's a very great thing to do if that's something that you can do. but how can you make allowances in your daily life around those feelings and emotions? So we're not just kind of trying to push through them and override them, but we're actually just making a little bit more space. Perhaps you have a little stock of freezer meals so that you get an extra few minutes on the sofa in the evening instead of hanging around in the kitchen. You know, what can you do to accommodate and make allowances for? instead of just trying to push on through.

I think it helps. I actually think it helps. We're at a state of a bit of depletion when we're feeling really hormonal, aren't we? And by making allowances, we're kind of topping up that depletion a little bit. Number two, now this is so important. Don't dismiss the emotions that might come up when feeling hormonal. I have done this for so many years. That irritability, that anger sometimes, you know,

my instant reaction has been to just throw up my hands and just go, oh, I'm so hormonal. You know, I'm just being hormonal. This is just my hormones. But what if, what if that period is just removing a layer of defense against what it's already there? You know, when we're depleted, we're less defended against our emotion. So what might you be able to learn from some of these feelings that are revealed, even if we don't like them. You know, I don't love rage. I don't love overwhelm. I don't love exhaustion and sensitivity in myself. It's, it's, you know, I, I, I much prefer the happiness and the joy and all of those nice feelings. But these are a part of who we are. And, and what if we were to think when, when that perhaps sensitivity comes up or a bit of resentment or

a bit of anger, what if we're just to look at it and be inquisitive? If something is a annoying you. Just question. You know, what might this be telling me? Might this actually be valid? Might this actually be something I do encounter in normal life? But I just find it so much easier to brush over and therefore maybe I need to address that. You know, might these emotions have been there before but just covered up? Maybe not. But I do think it is really good to ask. Number three, I find it's so helpful to notice how the feelings come in way. rather than just a permanent state. So, for example, I think I can really fear PMT because in my head I'm just going to be

grumpy and irritable and snappy for, you know, solidly. And actually, that isn't the case. These feelings often come in waves. I'm not constantly snappy. I might feel like it when I project myself into the future and I'm expecting that. But just notice how those feelings come in waves. Maybe you might find it helpful to say to yourself, in this moment, I feel angry, tearful, resentful. But then also, you'll notice that you can say to yourself, in this moment, I feel happy.

In this moment, I feel peaceful, I feel calm, I feel joy, I feel bored. You know, all of those other feelings that are actually still there, but can just get blurred over and then we can approach it with a bit of fear. Number four, let those close to you know. that you're feeling hormonal so they can make allowances. I might say to my husband, I'm feeling really hormonal and irritable today. And that's my way you're saying, you might want to just give me a wide berth. I'm going to try my best to be kind and patient, but my buffer is a little bit thin right now. So I'm going to try my best to be kind and patient, but it would be helpful if you could try

and be a little bit understanding and gentle in those moments that I don't manage to do that. And I will always apologize for those moments, not always in the moment because I often feel like I'm right in being grumpy or angry, but on reflection, I can see where that has come from. I might then remove myself from a situation or a conversation that I know, considering how I'm feeling is treading on risky ground. I might say, because of how I'm feeling today, I actually don't think this is a good conversation to have right now. I don't think it's going to go well. Can we chat about it another time? And I've done that recently. and I feel quite proud of myself when I do that

because I know I've diverted, I've diverted some kind of potential blow up or explosion. Number five, I think it's acknowledging that hormones remove that buffer for us or at least it makes it thinner between something that triggers a response in you and how you react. You know, when we're depleted, that gap between that trigger, whatever it might be and that reaction, that response is so much smaller. we have less ability to be like, how would it be helpful for me to respond right now? We're far more

likely to react, aren't we, than to respond in a considered way. And therefore, I think sometimes when we have PMT, we need to work a little bit harder to give ourselves more of the buffer. What helps you in your day to day? Is it movement? Is it nourishment? How can you add it back in in a way that suits you. You know, if you know that movement helps, how can you perhaps add in a less, you know, a more calm movement, a less intense workout? So finally, I would really recommend that you track your cycle. I use an app called Clue and often I make a note within the app of the feelings because then in a few weeks time, when I'm feeling wobbly and I start thinking I'm broken, oh my gosh, what am I like? This is terrible. I'm being awful. I can look at the app.

And then it starts to make sense. And then I can say to myself, it gives me perspective, I am hormonal right now. I've got PMT right now. I'm not broken. I am hormonal, therefore I need to lean on these things. And I also really find a bit called Period Power by Maisie Hill so helpful in actually understanding our cycle, knowing what is going on, knowing what the different hormones are, knowing how they affect us and how we can work with them instead of feeling like we are completely fighting against them. So I hope those things are helpful. They certainly help me when I feel like I'm turning it into the Hulk.

But as I said before, if you are concerned, please speak to your GP. And if you feel like your cycles are really impacting your mental health, or there's something called PMDD, premenstrual dysphoria disorder. And, you know, if you are concerned that your cycles just feel too much, the impact of them on your mental health and your PMT just feels extended and awful, you deserve to get support. So I hope that is helpful. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit.

If you enjoyed it, please do share, subscribe and review. You can find more from me on Instagram at Anna Martha. You might like to check out my two books called Mind Over Mother and Know Your Worth. I'm also the founder of the Mother Mind Way, a platform full of guides, resources and a community with the soul, focus on supporting mother's mental and emotional well-being. It's been lovely chatting with you. Speak soon.