The Therapy Edit - On 5 ways to beat procrastination

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

In this solo episode of The Therapy Edit Anna confesses that despite being a really motivated person professionally and personally, procrastination is something she can be prone to when there isn't the time pressure associated with getting the task done. But is that the kind way to manage our task list? Headphones in and join Anna as she offers 5 ways to avoid procrastination.

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. So today's solar episode is all about procrastination. I am so motivated and driven as a person. But often it's the most important things that I can end up. up kind of shooting myself in the foot and procrastinating over. There's something about the pressure of time, isn't there? You always find that you're most productive, literally, before a deadline or before you have to head out the door, suddenly it's just a rush of chaos, isn't there?

As you're quickly packing a bag or quickly having a shower and it works, that time pressure to get stuff done. And I think many of us lean on that. But is it kind of Is it kind? Would we let our children lounge around and then suddenly, you know, push, push, push, push them to get everything done really quickly? So this is one that I wanted to do for us as we go into 23. Five ways to address and avoid procrastinating. Have you got something in mind as we talk about this? Is there some? something that you know you need to address. Maybe it's an anxiety or a phobia or something that is limiting you. Maybe it's a habit that you know you need to address. But for some reason, it just is hard to grasp with the motivation to do that. You know it's good. You know it's right. You know it's needed. But it just feels out of reach. Perhaps it's just one of those things. that need to tick off the list, an admin job, oh my gosh, I actually do you have to book my smear

test today. That is one thing that I need just to do. So maybe it's an admin job that is just there on the list and it actually feels like a weight on your shoulders and you know you could do it today, but there's something stopping you. Maybe you've been waiting for ages to address finding a new job and it's just slipped down and down and down that list. of priorities. What is it that you've been procrastinating from? Hold that in mind as I talk you through these five things. Number one, know your why. Why do you need to do that? Why is it important to you? What's the outcome? What is the cost of you not addressing that thing? What is the cost of you just continuing to nudge it down to the bottom of the priority list. Does it matter? If it does

matter, why does it matter? Is it your mental health that will that will pay the price? If this doesn't get done, is it a relationship that may just, you know, you might just slowly lose touch with that person because you're procrastinating over making contact. Maybe you don't know what to say to them maybe you find it hard to say the right things so you're procrastinating, saying anything at all, whatever it is. Really get in touch with your why. Get in touch with the cost of not doing it and the benefit of doing it. The smear test, it's just a little example. But why? What's my why? Well, I feel like that's very obvious. I need, there's a reason that we're to check in with our pelvic health. So that is my why. And what is the cost of not doing it? Perhaps missing something,

not knowing something that could be really, really important to know if there is anything there that needs to be addressed. Secondly, what barriers do you have? What are the barriers that are sitting in the way of you doing this thing? What are the barriers that are stopping you from hoiking that thing back up to the top of the list of priorities and getting it done. Is it fear of failure? Is it something that you want to do so well that it's hard to even start because you're afraid of failure? Maybe the fear is that what happens if it's done well? What happens if you actually make that change? What happens if you address that fear of driving? Or if you address your confidence or if you get into a better place for people pleasing, what will that mean?

Will it mean that your relationships have to change? Will it mean that you'll have to assert different boundaries? And that actually feels a little bit scary to even think what that might feel like. Sometimes even when we know something will lead to good places, it can be challenging because maybe underneath it, or do you feel deserving of the good that can come for this? the good that can come from this what are the barriers to me because my smear test the barriers are actually just time i just need to pick up the phone and do it and everything else feels more urgent the email another email comes in and i think actually i'll just get that done it's looking

in my diary and thinking oh i'm going to have to make sure i can find time without the kids that's quite limited is it going to be on a work day so that's my barrier there it's more kind of logistics, really. Number three, do you have imposter syndrome? Might you be thinking, who am I to do this thing that I want to do? This can be a barrier. Now, there have been so many times I've felt with my work. Who am I to do this? Perhaps there are people more qualified or articulate than me. Perhaps there are people with bigger social media accounts or, I don't know, just other people doing a similar thing to what I'm doing, how might imposter syndrome be playing a part in your procrastination? Who am I to seek that promotion? Who am I to think that I can

become more confident and work on my confidence? But where my imposter syndrome? Who am I to do this? Who am I to benefit from this? What part of your identity? might be being challenged, what part of your worth might be being challenged, your autonomy being challenged in seeking to get this thing done. Number four, which really ties into that one is, is just watch out for comparison, where you're comparing yourself and what you're doing to what other people are doing. Now, some of this doesn't really apply to my smear test example that I just plucked from my day. But know that comparison is. As soon as we start to compare our journeys, our to-do lists, our productivity with other people,

it kills creativity. So if you're doing something, if you're passionate about something, if you want to achieve something and you start comparing where you're at or what you're doing with what other people are at and what they're doing, it can just hamper and halt your creativity. When you look around, you know, you're seeing other people's journeys that very different, points when sometimes we're just at the beginning and that can be hard because we look ahead and we see other people and they're down the end. They've done that thing. They've completed the thing that you're just setting out on and it can feel quite stifling. So know that when you look

around, you're seeing other people's journeys and other people's end results and often within that we don't see the cost. We don't see the toil and the labour and the blood and the sweat and tears that might have gone into that. And when we don't see it, often we can be almost seduce into thinking that it's not there. So if you're recognising that comparison is one of the reason that you might be procrastinating, just note that. Sometimes we need to just put the blinkers on a little bit and think, you know what, I know my why.

I know why this is right for me to prioritize. and just zooming in, zooming in and putting the blinkers on and recognizing where comparison is having an impact. And the final thing is, and this is one that I found so helpful when writing books is done is better than perfect. If I sit there with just a blank screen in front of me and I'm just wanting to get it perfect and wanting to get it all right from the off,

I won't even start. I will procrastinate till the cows come home. But when I sit there and I think, you know what, I'm just going to get it out imperfectly. And we can shape it down the line. It's better done than perfect. How can you break it down? If what you're procrastinating feels like a massive job, if you're looking at a marathon, how can you look down and break it down to one step, one run, one walk. How can you break it down? Because sometimes when we look up and we see the mountain of everything that is to be done, of course we can feel stifled. How can you break it down into one small thing? We like feeling like we can tick something off. It gives us a really good feeling and ticking off a mountain climb is going to take a heck of a lot longer than ticking

off a step. So start recognizing and applauding yourself for those small steps towards it. So those are the things that I use, especially the done is better than perfect. I use that one a lot. And also recognizing what those barriers are. And sometimes it is just that we can struggle with believing that we're deserving of the benefits and the feelings that come when we get these things done. And you are deserving of all of those things. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you enjoyed it, please do share, subscribe or review because it makes a massive difference to how many people it can reach. You can find more from me on Instagram at Anna Martha. You might like to check out my three books, Mind, Dave and Mother, Know Your Worth,

and my new book, The Little Book of Calm for New Mums, grounding words for the highs, the low, and the moments in between. It's a little book. You don't need to read it from front to back. You just pick whatever emotion resonates to find a mantra, a tip and some supportive words to bring comfort and clarity.

You can also find all my resources, guides and videos, all with the sole focus of supporting your emotional and mental well-being as a month. They are all £12 and you can find them on anamatha.com. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Thank you.